#i wont be able to sleep lol

[radioheadmybeloved]

Just finished reading The Trial and I'm absolutely destroyed.

Kafka is truly amazing, I need to read more of his works 😭😭

#literature #franz kafka #kafkacore #kafka #kafkaesque #tonight i feel like kafka #the trial #modern literature #expresionism #kafka my beloved #franz kafka my beloved #i wont be able to sleep lol

[rockingtheorange]

Details:

Taylor's double 🖕 with confused Nick

Nick's post / Taylor's post

Just them❤🤘

From tzp's IG

#Taylor's 🖕 covered in cake is so cute #Nick is always so confused when around Tzp lol #veuekwbdwksnbs we got so much already #i wont be able to sleep #taylor zakhar perez #nicholas galitzine #red white and royal blue #rwrb #rwrb movie #firstprince #henry fox mountchristen windsor #alex claremont diaz

[honestmouse20]

i hate summer so much yall

it's already 80 during the day here and my ac doesnt work. Everyone telling me they love the summer is wrong and crazy. come back and tell me you love the summer when your bedroom is 80 degrees at 4am.

I usually sleep prety well these days but tonight i can't seem to stay asleep, even with my fan on and pointed right at me. The ac is on too, set at 65 but the themomerter in my room says otherwise. we've been texting the landord Repeatedly. The Ac repair man never calls

#this post has no Real meaning #other than me bitching into the void bc i got 4 hours of sleep and probably wont' be able to go back to sleep #bc i fucking hate the heat and it makes me grouchy and overstimulated #i am texting the landlord again at a more reasonable hour #but for real #if i hhear one more person say how excited they are for the warmer days i'm gonna lose it #i bet they have nice cold bedrooms and work in an air conditioned office #then again #the girls who work style at my job wear hoodies in the summer and complain of being cold #while im in a tshirt and shorts and Sweating #so maybe i just don't handle heat very well #either way #i needed to bitch and no one i know is awake lol #d rambles

[redpiperfox]

But mainly, and really:

#red's week in music #STORYTIME WITH RED GATHER ROUND KIDDOS! #was at kids club tonight and went in knowing little 8 year olds mom had her baby this morning and lil girl was now big sis if two #and knew she hadnt come from home bc her hair was a mess of someone who didnt know curls trying to do it lol #shes generally emotional and dramatic but we can all see that shes a lil more so tonight. understandably. lotsa change #well she kinda hinges on this one thing of not getting the verses said to earn a jewel bc she wasnt able to say them-- totally fine! we'll #practice and get them later! but shes distraught bc she worked on them with mum and wont get jewel so i keep telling her when we'll work on #them together and when ill listen to her and we can get it done. cool. then lesson time shes up and down sniffly and the lesson says smth #about childbirth-- bursts into disarray. i ask her if she wants to step out and we blow her nose and she keeps talking about the verse so i #tell her solutions for that and then shes working herself up so i work thru calming down and she goes from #“i think im mad” to “mom would let me do what i want!” and i know the real issue isnt the verse but thats what shes telling me so... #adult shes staying with cautiously steps in and she calms down to tell me “its not the verse... i think i miss my mom” #oh my heart i know honey i give her a hug and we talk about the sleeover shes going to have and when shes going to see mom #and shes sleeping next to lil sis so shes going to give sis a big hug and tell her theyre going to see mom in the morning #and then i ask her if she wants to go back and she does and i just hold her and hug her the whole time #i give her another squeeze when she leaves and tell her to enjoy her sleepover #her friend shes staying with i should not did a very sweet of coming over and saying “hey lookit this new book i got do you wanna color it #with me maybe?“ which was such an emotionally mature thing for her and to see lil kiddo cheer up warmed me #teachers we debriefed and talked about kids going thru stuff at home and not being able to tell and process their emotions and stuff #and then i shared with mum on the ride back and she goes “yup. lil toddler will just miss mom-- its trauma at this age. this is why i #panicked and called my mother to come for your sis's birth bc dad said he could handle you but my heart couldnt for what you would go thru.“ #i was six when my sister was born. my grandma being there before consistently made me giddly excited in that time waiting for dad to bring #us to the hospital. #anyway my heart was full and im praying extra hard for two lil girls in a sleepover missing their mom tonight. #red's personal sitcom #Spotify

[magioffire]

remember when i thought i didnt have adhd because when i took adhd meds i thought i was ‘getting high’ off of it and always heard that if you ‘got high’ off adhd meds it meant you definitely didnt have adhd

well that feeling of ‘getting high’ was actually me misinterpreting the euphoria of finally having a more normalish brain function and being able to be productive as a euphoric effect of amphetamine and not the functional level everyone without adhd normally exists at all the time lol.

#LOL??? #this is why the 'if you get high off adhd meds youre not adhd' is kinda...not true? #because getting high is very subjective but also #for a ND person being able to temporarily be productive and function IS euphoria #it IS like a high #so maybe a better way of putting is #'if you have adhd it just wont effect you the same way as someone without adhd' #instead of 'any feelings of pleasure you get from the medicine are cuz you dont actually have the disorder and are probs just a dirty junkie #cuz you know....we have a very pleasure-adverse culture thanks to puritanical values but thats a ted talk for ANOTHER DAY #ooc. #tbd. #drugs cw #its kinda like how for someone with chronic pain the pain relief they get from pain meds IS the eurphoria #not any of the actual narcotic effects someone might get from pain meds #people without chronic illness just wouldnt get it sorry #cuz im over here like HM. im not getting any of usual side effects that would go with someone who doesnt have adhd taking adderall #i can eat and sleep perfectly normally #uhh #whoops

[liquidstar]

maaannnn The Fatigue has been so bad lately i just want this day to be over so i can sleep. theres literally not anything else i could do... but i have to wait...

#i hate it so much im too tired all the time. i do not know what it feels like to not be tired. i dont remember the last time i wasnt tired. #i dont think i was ever not tired genuinely. even as a little kid i remember being tired to my core #the kind of tiredness you feel tingling in your bones dragging on you everywhere you go and in everything you do. its always with me #i wanna clarify that this is a symptom of the type of thalasemia i have and not exactly chronic fatigue syndrome though. but comparable. #i just wanna say that so ppl dont get the wrong idea. but yeah. #i havent really gotten a proper break in weeks and like. i NEED those breaks i feel like my body genuinely cant keep going like this #so i just need to be officially off the clock so i can go sleep and hopefully i can get some legit rest in the coming days #idk fingers crossed bc i fear ill collapse otherwise LOL! (not funny) #and all things considered i have a pretty cushy gig rn! esp considering i dont pay rent and stuff since im like a live-in sitter #but i dont think i was built to be able to hold down any type of proper job. and this wont last forever. i dont know what ill do from here #im too eepy

[collecting--stardust]

Guess who's spending Eid away from home again next year lol

#me bitch #i havent went home for eid for 2 years and if you count next year then make it 3 #so fyi first day of eid is estimated to be on the 10 of april 2024 which is Wednesday #so my classmates estimate that the classes on monday and tuesday will be online so they started to buy the tickets on Friday (5/4) #or during the weekend basically because yknow festive season = expensive tickets #and i told it to my friend and she chekced the ticket to go to kl and its only 200+ (official app) or 100+ (travel company) on 6/4 at 5am #so she asked me if i want to buy it so we can share transport to airport together and be in the same flight #so i called mom just now but since i need to take the transit to ny hometown it racks up to rm800+ 💀 #totalled with the flights back to uni on sunday (14/4) it will be up to rm1600+ 💀 #mom sound sorry and even said she can pay if i really want to go back home #but yknow i dont want to burden my parents more (they are the one who usually pay for my flights anyway) #and my friend who lives in the same state as me also doesnt seem to be able to afford the expensive tickets too #so its just me and her in the perantauan again ig lol #but my friend who lives here said to just celebrate eid with her and we can sleep in her room 😂 #tbh i dont really mind not going back because as i get older the excitement for eid lessen idk #but i kinda miss the bersalam on the morning of eid with my family so yeah #and if i were to graduate and start working which i cant imagine ngl then i wont be home much anyway #whatever at least i get to fast at home for a week so theres still some W to celebrate #personal.txt

[thornappleband]

Crab and Tap Water by Thornapple translation

Hey, there are No songs left here Let me listen to the night

Hey, throat's parched Yet I can't quench the thirst Fill it up with water for me

Turned arid In one breath This raging sea

As I was falling Atop that empty surface I saw some man Still holding onto his breath

You, who's close to breaking Got put in flavorless water Then into the closest sea

While you listened to music So much you're sick of it At some point the lights Never turned off

Hey, there are No songs left here Let me listen to the night

Hey, throat's parched Yet I can't quench the thirst Fill it up with water for me

Ah, my brothers and sisters Fading into coldness, I'm waiting for my turn

Us falling down Breaking down little by little In the end we'll be forgotten

How long we'll live There's no telling of that The endless times ahead of us, throughout them

Let's live The remaining of life left For you and me, whole of it

Let's live The remaining of life left For you and me, whole of it

Hey, there are No songs left here

Hey, throat's parched Yet I can't quench the thirst

I am the author of the lyrics. Originally posted on lyricstranslate.com.

#reuploading bc i wont be able to sleep peacefully if i don't post the songs in proper order lol #Crab and Tap Water #Animal #게와 수돗물 #동물 #2023 #thornapple #쏜애플

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i was rereading thru my last dyslexia assessment and its really interesting. i took it 5 years ago #which is before i really figured out how to be a person and it does match a lot of my struggles #as u might expect. like very very bad short term memory and delay in ability to call words to the surface #the last one might explain why i constantly struggle to find the words im looking for. and obviously my ability to read and spell are very #bad as well. but they dont actually drill down on why. its weird. theyre screening for problems but dont ask what the problem looks like #from my end. like my eyes dont track well across a page and i find it it difficult to read passages because my brain is constantly #interupting me with unrelated thoughts and daydreams. and you woudlnt kno that from reading this report. makes me wonder how nuanced an #understanding of dyslexia we actually have. i should read dyslexia papers bc i find it really interesting #it also makes me kinda sad bc the person assessing me made notes like: very attentive and focused. obviously anxious when under assessment #like aw poor anxious freak lol. i also clearly did not fucking understand what they were asking on the executive function assessment #bc i answered that i had no problems there and i clearly have problems with just about everything asked abt and i kno i did then as well #it must have been academicly originated and like i can do school. im good at school. but everything else is a disaster #to clarify. i wonder how much assessment of how dyslexia is experienced when assessments are just looking got indications that #its happening. bc if u kno its there as a teacher it doesnt really matter what it looks like to u. but i personally find it v interesting #and im sure brain ppl do to. id do a dyslexia brain study. come at me neurologists #also questions like: r u able to stay organized? me: of course! i only exist in like 3 locations so even if i lose things theyre easy to #find in the massive disorganized pile of things i leave behind #its very funny to me reading that report as i take these measurements where my workspace looks a disaster and im constantly losing my pen #and forgetting what i need to do. then suddenly remembering. like can i stay focused? yes. i stay so focused that i burn my brain to dust #ay ay ay. at least i still feel ok abt my measurement taking. tho my ability to sleep is already in decline so im sure that wont last long #bc thats how it goes. an up mood where maybe i wanna run around in circles screaming a bit but its all good. not getting a ton of sleep and #doing too much. then burning out and losing stability. pulled forward by my own compulsive thoughts #but for now were good. and someday ill do a dyslexia deep dive bc i really really wanna kno but also i cant read which makes learning hard #when u want academic info lol #unrelated

[writinandcrying]

im so close into finally closing an almost one year long chapter (cuz inspiration finally struck after MONTHS) but its 2 am and i have to wakeup in 4-ish hours. tomorrow i have a dnd session so i wont be able to write after work i'm-

i absolutely hate this

#fuck. #i cannot go to work without sleep like i simply wont function #anyways im screwed #idk when inspiration will hit me again like this like ...................... i wrote so much.................. and i feel like #i can write even more you know #I HATE THISSSS #giulia writes #tmnt #anyways dark c will finally get a part 2 yayay #and its gonna be huge lol #fanfiction #why did I had to be a nerd and get into dnd. #and then after that it’s gonna be my dads birthday and I won’t be able to spend but much in front of the computer otherwise #he will get pissy GODDAMN. #AAAAAAAAA

[bogmachine]

erm hehe whah huh

#z #i cant even say i want to lie down and never get up because i honestly could lol!!!! lol!!!!!!!!! #i literally havent been able to sleep i keep thinking im so exhausted but it just turns into like brain haze instead of sleep #i pulled an all nighter sunday night and slept for >3 hours monday morning probably >10 since waking up sunday at 4 pm #i can barely eat anything it takes so much effort #im so exhausted i just want it to stop but 1. if i let my finals fall by the wayside itll fuck up my mental health worse 2. if i just stop #putting in effort i wont eat either and ill quite literally starve to death

[orcelito]

hmmm

maybe i need to not do this tonight after all

#speculation nation #discacc shit #i am. just stressing myself out with this pressure lol #+ with minimal encouragement atm im just running myself in circles #trying desperately to finish writing. and i am soooo close #but i can just imagine how this will turn out #i push myself too hard to finish this chapter tonight. which it WOULD take a real push to finish it tonight. #bc im officially at 16k words for this chapter. and i am not even done writing. #i stay up far too late to edit. bc that is a Lot of words to edit. #i end up sleep deprived. it's a long chapter so people wont even be able to read it quickly #i can barely sleep anyways bc im too busy waking up every hour to check to see if there are any comments (which there likely wont be. #or at least will be minimal comments. bc as i said it is a long chapter. people cant make it through it quickly) #then i crash tomorrow bc i didnt get the engagement i worked so hard for as quickly as i wanted it #im still without a beta reader bc andi is recovering which means i dont have the safety net / reassurance that beta reading provided me #and ultimately i end up in a shit state tomorrow. unable to even jump into my next bit of writing as ive pressured myself to do. #i can see it fully laid out before me bc this is EXACTLY what has happened the last few chapters. last chapter especially. #i did end up getting pretty good engagement on the last chapter. but it took time. & by then i'd already had an entire crash over it #as much as i want to finish this b4 the 21st i really need to be mindful with myself #i am doing no one any favors by rushing it. least of all myself. #really if youve read this far + youre a discacc reader. i would rly appreciate if u could send me some kind of encouragement #even as little as liking this post would help. tho a reply/ask would b more effective lol #im currently stuck in the sink hole of 'no one cares' so. it'd help to have that proven wrong. #is it annoying that i have no fucking object permanence w/ knowing ppl care about my writing? Absolutely! #but idk im just trying to do my best with a shit brain. any bit of help/reassurance would be appreciated

[murcielagatito]

just fell on my drawing wrist tryna catch myself pray for me ;-;

#nawt right after i finished those two drawings too this is sick 💀💀💀 #ive got fucked up wrists from playing sports in high school and like a ton of other stupid shit i did as a kid #my wrist feels really hot rn so im a lil scared i wont b able to use it for a while 😭😭😭 #i hate sleeping with my wrist brace on 💀 #i use pray as a joke LOL #mis cosas

[onepiexe]

im actually going to explode

#logbook #i forced myself awake and then was convinced i'd go into work at hl but now bc of the weather im like. . .should i #do i really want to drive 40 min in the dark to go to hl when its super duper windy after the storm #or i could sleep for another hr and a half and do a 10-4 at ml. #i wont be able to leave at 6a anymore so i may as well either do one or the other. . . #if i do ml today then i work hl thurs-fri which i guess is fine. one day with my coworker two without. #buuuut i was also thinking of swinging by nnl and i cant do that if i do my 10-4. #sooo i may just do a 7:30-1:30 or a 8-2. . .god. #last time i deliberated this long i ended up driving myself to hl even tho i was planning to go in at 6:30 to nnl. #if i had worked yesterday id just say i was staying home bc of the weather. . . #ive decided i'll just go back to sleep and work ml. ik i got myself up but at least i went to the bathroom. #ive got low bars on the car and i cant afford to drive in the dark with the winds and an older car. .. #ok anyways. lets see if i actually sleep or just rest for an hr lol

[rosykims]

ok question does it still count as chronic pain if it comes and goes every couple of months ?

#the tag offers a lot of comfort but #ok not to sound like a twitter user but ig im afraid of co-opting a phrase that doesnt rly belong to me #but god im so fucking tired #i mean. im vaguely uncomfortable Always but for some months it fades and its rly manageable #like it only hurts when i go out of my way to like. touch my muscles too hard lol #but then it ALWAYS comes back. after a few months i can just Feel it settling back into my body #and its honestly mild like i know its not as bad as some people's but its just fucking constant and my brain cant adjust to it #and i cant sleep and cant think and cant get comfortable like i have STANDING just walking around my house for #idk. four hours now? bc sitting hurts <3 and lying down hurts <3 but also standing around and walking hurts too lmao #and im scared to take neurofen (ibuprofen) bc its late and im saving it until i go to sleep in a few hours nd also ive taken so much lately #i havent gone to a doc bc im scared whatever it is i wont be able to afford to treat #im already in physio for another reason and i can fucking BARELY afford it lol. obvs im gonna bring it up w her but #ugh idk i just needed to vent #anyways w/e tht spongebob guy was right i also have glass bones & paper skin & at night i lie awake until my heart attack puts me to sleep❤

[froqgy]

ough i wanna draw more hk 🥲

#wanting to do every single thing wjen you have school this feels unmmmmm wrll i cant lie i missed feeling that way but #this time i actuallt want to be able to balance everything👍 i wont procrastinate on hw i will get good sleep #i will clean the house i will make dinner most nights i will hang with friends #i will get a pc this month i will game i will go out of rhe house. i will flourish👍 #i will draw i forgot to say that LOL