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#i would also call danny devito daddy
punzz · 3 years
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dude pog im 4'11 too. the only person im taller than is my 1 year old sister and daddy-i mean danny devito
POGG that’s so cool and omg— did you just nearly call.. danny devito daddy?...
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vindicatedvirgil · 4 years
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amanda’s sanders sides binge reactions, episodes ten-sixteen
losing my motivation — making some changes
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home maintenance is not a joke
infinitesimal
i don’t know, LOGIC
the game is on
all business
no you can’t play with us
i’ve been waiting for this day to wear it
he found a dollar
touching up some eyeshadow
what are these grounds
are they coffee grounds
/dadjoke
bleak
you’re not welcome
elementary my dear daddy
what
HE’S NOT ALWAYS THE BAD GUY
how do the sides borrow money from each other i’m confused
sir sing-a-lot
i am a knight thank you very much
oh no how could you do it i trusted you
what’s going on? something good
feelings. the bane of my existence
weird mushy vision you mean my entire catalog of fanfic writing
well who should have done that *cue intense music*
am i in a paradoxical loop
calm down time
that was dark even for me
yes go to the library
logan’s name reveal
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Q+A time
laughy cry-y emoji
pouty mcspecs
i really need to up my roman giving nicknames game
his anxiety is heightened VIRGIL IS TALLEST SIDE CONFIRMED
so does roman have a fairy godmother
bippity boppity boo yah
i’m not okay
i promise
but also i am the walrus
wait that needs to be on my patton playlist brb
virgil likes tumblr hence he likes us
i need four cookies
and i will sit on a surface that is not meant to be sat on
patton doesn’t always screw stuff up
i also like podcasts
CAMPFIRE SONG SONG
virgil’s compliments are great what are you talking about
who is texting logan (my guess is orange)
who is texting roman (my guess is remus)
winnie the pooh~
logan tries singing to all star
and virgil just goes “yeahhhh”
i know big words
DO YOU KNOW HOW CUTE YOU ARE
relevant with yesterday’s skirt photo
fanart!
fanfic!
what is a ship?
virgil definitely knows because he’s on tumblr
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thomas has a rat in his hair confirmed (it’s remus)
virgil is the first in this one too
sometimes i just gotta be me-an
hide under the covers until the sun goes away
chemically imbalanced romance
we’re donezo
never fear your creativity is here
thomas’ happiness is roman’s mission
cries
you shackle your creativity
wait
remus says something very similar
hmmmmmmmmm
brainstorming extravaganza
patton why were you not wearing your pants
KNIVES
is this why princey spit yogurt at me yesterday
i’m always serious. clearly. i wear a necktie.
roman wears the pants-
they are a family btw
lol time limits
do those exist in current episodes
FIGHTING
...verbally
OMG OMG IT’S TIME
aggressive bouts of beat poetry
nb royalty aka me
*nods like virgil*
WOO!
capita? like the cogitating cap?
patton would love untitled goat game
you tried you failed let’s go to sleep
booyakasha
logan you can’t just call virgil a defeatist
virgil’s face
and he just sinks out without saying anything
am so soft for the boy
roman name reveal!
hey roman
yes?
you’re my hero
SOBBING ENABLED
MY LIFE IS A LIEE
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time for my favorite debate, much better than any political debates
analogical time
this could have been a logan centric video if virgil didn’t pop up
wow
we get it, you don’t want me here, but i’m here
i want you here
virgil please be in the video tomorrow
i too call upon very specific facts to feel secure
how bruised is roman
cardigan-clad clod aka me
same, cream based broths upset my tummy unless i take lactaid
wait logan can’t be objective?
haagen daaz dispersion
bad imaginary
vocab word!
a debate *snap*
i wanna be the supreme dark overlord of negative commerce
RIGGED
please help me *screams in agony*
me me big boy
too much pressure, nooo
do they groan in disgust about the butterflies in his tummy because they feel that way about each other or-
this is better than any political debate
TBD = totally believable dude
when did they vote on logan’s proficiency plan i wanna see this
of course it’s not a straight answer no one in this video is straight-
the first FALSEHOOD
did he just hiss at me
i’m right, you’re wrong, shut up
that’s a try guys reference
savage
this is stupid he’s stupid i’m out
LOGAN DOESN’T MIND VIRGIL’S COMPANY
your mom misses you
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visual puns are great
amazing!
uhhhh
uhhh
mmmmmmm
no virgil you’re not alone
same patton, i’m always confused
surly temple is one of my favorite nicknames
NEIGH
MOO
BAAA
word association games return
don’t you dare turn breakfast food into a negative metaphor
was this really a necessary visual
screaming
voltron shirt *hits joan*
me watching sanders sides late into the night
great odin’s eyepatch!
well then it’s just 5am and you need to go to bed
keep it up so we get to see virgil more thanks
i’ve dreamed of this moment
NECKTIE
anatomically, thomas is fine
what is the gosh-darn-ding-dang point
adulto
so mean to patton
darude sanderstorm
i want to bounce in a bouncy castle
i want to join a book club with joan and thomas
verisimilitudinous
*gasp* not the necktie
you are the man. you look like the man. i fight the man. i want to fight you now.
janus also fights the man so-
you stole my look
is no one going to acknowledge that he just dabbed
logan asks for patton’s help when they can’t figure out what’s wrong
danny devito reference
mind palace!
star thingies
poor virgil and his eyes
adequate
EEYORE REFERENCE THANKS FOR NOTICING ME
for reference eeyore has always been my favorite disney character
and virgil is my fave
see any connections there
patton-cake
patton name reveal!
growing older is scary but being a kid was also scary because i didn’t know what was going on with my identity
patton understands virgil so well. cries. maybe the asides will fix their relationship
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ECHO
listen buddy don’t blame us just because your mind is so empty
that was definitely roman
i didn’t know you made jokes like that
changing...evolving...mutating
why don’t we talk more?
uh oh, feelings
more sentimental than on avalanche
it is flippin sweet man
with you i’m always home-
additional affirmation
whaddup anxiety
if virgil is upset when thomas isn’t near his friends then isolation really has to be messing with him
joan!logan is amazing
terrence!patton though
he/him pronouns all around~
another danny devito reference
okay but talyn!virgil is the best
hissing
breaking the fourth wall? 
single column?
aw patton loves thomas
hehe butt
“we are not actually your friends”
...what
VIKINGMETAL
BIBLIOTECA
i love libraries
I AM FRAIL AND BREAKABLE
a man of many talyn’s
also i didn’t make as many comments on this one because it’s 11pm and i’m starting to get a bit sleepy
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celmation-gibson · 4 years
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Hello, Well 2018 was a Great time for Cinemas, and what a Year for such Creature Features such as the ones I will be reviewing here, and now may I present to you some reviews of the movies that I've observed on the Big Screen that year.
Pacific Rim: Uprising – My First movie to see in Theaters since I couldn’t find a Perfect time to see Aardman’s ‘Early Man’, but I’m pretty sure this Year would be a Monster of a Movie experience in the Cinemas. Since I’ve have and Watched the First film on DVD, I would think that I should enjoy its Sequel that has been made, and even though Mr. Guillermo Del Toro (the first film’s Director) didn’t direct this Film, he Helped Produce it as well. And as I said before, I do Love a Good Giant monster film, and this film was always filled with Suspense, Action, & Drama, and I would Fear that there won’t be any Hope left if those Giant Monsters win. Also it breaks my Heart wide Open to see a Character who I say and Liked in the First film died in this one. And that one Villainous Character is sure a Wicked Dick (*pardon my Language*) about this one being Possessed by a Kaiju Masterminded Brain. And surprising how that Rouge Jaeger was controlled by a Kaiju Brain, Hit him once & he’ll hit you back Twice as Hard. But I’m glad the heroes win in this Battle, and it took near the Tail end of the Film for the Movie’s Title to appear, unlike the First one where you wait 15-20 minutes for the Main Title to appear in a longest prologue, but for Me, I would almost stick with the Original Film.
Rampage – As I said before, I do Love a Good Giant monster Movie, and this is one of them. And it was a God-Epic monster Mash, even had some hilarious Moments, like when George flips the Bird, and I was like “Did that Primate just flip a Bird?”, though I do know another Ape who can Flip a Bird. And not to mention that the movie is actually based off an Old Arcade game of the same name, and if you Look very closely in the Office Building of Energyne, there are Arcade Cabinets of the Original ‘Rampage’ game, and ‘Rampage: World Tour(?), though I’m not quite sure what the other one is. And the monsters are Hardcore Badass, I don’t know which one(s) are Great (though I pick all of them), and for Bonus, there was another Creature in the Beginning of this Film that was a Rat Test subject. And the Sequence where they hunt the Giant Wolf Down was Awesome and it gave me Goosebumps completely. Plus some Good Elements from the Game is Included as Well, such as Eating People, Tearing down a Building from top to bottom, the military being involved, and Destruction of the monsters themselves. Even when me and my Dad were watching it in the Theaters, and when Dad watched the Commercials for the Film, one of his Favorite Quotes from the movie was “And of course the Wolf Flies”, LOL! And the Lizard Monster in the Film was so Massive & a “Pain in the Ass”, there was no End in that Creature, even when you plant an Explosion in his Ears & throw Missiles at him, he gets back up again, and I thought the Impalement on George would have Killed him Completely, but it was just thru his Shoulders and Thank goodness not the Heart Area or Between the Chests. But still, this film was an Epic Fun Thrillride, the characters are Great & Fun-filled, and I guaranteed this Year would be a Monster Movie Experience in the Theaters.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom - Well, me and my Dad seen the first 'Jurassic World' in Theaters back in 2015, so we figured since we love Dinosaur movies, we go this this latest update, and to our Surprise, Original Jurassic Park star Mr. Jeff Goldblum (the big Chill, the Fly(1986)) will be starring in Guest Role, and it was a Surprise seeing him in a Honda(?) commercial to promote the Film. And That my Foodtown was already selling products, even sodas & Chips in Promoting the Features, and it featured some of my Favorite Dinosaurs in the Film such as the Classic T-Rex, and boy was that Opening Scene in the Pouring Rain so Intense, the Surviving Raptor of the Original JW film Blue, who is one of my Favorite 'Good Guy' Raptors, the Comical Dino Hard-head Stiggy, who I find entertaining & Funny in the Movie, and My Favorite Villainous Dinosaur, the IndoRaptor, and if you think the Indomenous Rex in 'Jurassic World' was Terrifying, this IndoRaptor is one Badass Creep, even when she(?) smiles while playing Dead while one of the Soldier guys was about to Chip a Tooth off her, kinda gives it like a Cartoon-y feel to it like the minor ones in 'the Adventures of Pinocchio'(1996). And that Epic moment where the Island was in Volcanic Eruption was so Frantic, even one scene in the Film was shot in One single Lengthy shot during those Round Vehicle Thingies, an I thought the Part where one of the Brachiosaurus was Left behind on the Island while Massive smoke was covering him was the most Disturbed sequences in the Film. Well i certainly enjoyed the film, while my Daddy didn't, cuz he thought there wasn't much action or creature footage in the film, as he thought there was more of some "Love Stories" being put into it, that's why he might like 'Rampage' more, where they showed some monsters earlier in the film, but you might say that some Critics praised Pratt's and Howard's performance, Bayona's direction, the visuals, Michael Giacchino's score and the "surprisingly dark moments", while others suggested the series had run its course, criticizing the screenplay and lack of innovation.
Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation - Well, Mr. Genndy Tartakovsky Never Fails to impress us with this Three-times Charmer, and how Lucky was I to reserve a Seating to see this on my Birthday of 2018, after a Good Morning at the Meadowlands flea Market, and a goof Lunch at Taco Bell, I hit the Theaters with my Dad, and the Movie was Fantastic, and since Mr. Genndy Tartakovsky Co-written this Film (along with one of the 'Austin Powers' writer), I know what some Moments in the Film, there are certain scenes that are free of Dialogue, just like the ones in 'Samurai Jack'. And it was a-bit strange to see a Character from one the 'Hotel Transylvania' shorts that I've never seen, and that short was "Puppy", but in order to watch the short (even for myself), I have to watch that Gross-out 'Emoji movie' for it. But for HT3, the Climatic part of the DJ Battle with Professor Van Helsing (Drac's old Nemesis, and was surprise to see him still Alive in Machine parts) & the Kraken was Awesome, I didn't remember the first Official song played, but I do know the second being 'Don't Worry, be Happy', and the Final one was none other than the 'Macarena' and supposedly it's the Extended River remix version of the song which I have on my I-Tunes and have no regret in Purchasing it, along with Daft Punk's 'One More Time'. So I like the Film and can't wait to get it for Christmas, along with 'Rampage' this Year. And I even heard that Genndy will be working more at SPA where he will be set to Direct an R-rated animated feature titled 'Fixed', and an Adventure Film named 'Black Knight'.
Smallfoot - When I saw some Preview ads on CartoonBrew, I thought this looks kinda Weird and thought I'd just pass on it, but after seeing some TV Ads for the film, and seeing how interesting it looks, I thought I'd give it a shot, and kinda find the movie very Interesting if you wanna feel Young at Heart, and was Lucky to see it on Columbus Day, the only Actor(s) in the Cast i know were comedian Danny Devito & Basketball superstar Lebron James, and to my surprise seeing the closing credit of the film that Cartoonist Justin Roiland voiced in the film as well as one of the Yeti folks in the Kingdom, and I only know the names Common & Gina Rodriguez starring in the film. And the Music and songs in the Film are Nice, and I like how some Advance the Characters or Advance the plot, and it was Hilarious hearing one Song being sung in the tune of Queen/David Bowie's 'Under Pressure', and since Common is a Rapper in real-life, he did a Good Singing on when the Stonekeeper himself tells Migo that Humans & Yetis were Enemies in the old ages. And the other reasone I like watching this film is that I'm also Fascinated with Yetis and Drawing them, as you can see from my old 'YETI & other Stories' story in my Gallery, and one of my Yeti inspirations was the old Unfinished/soon-to-be-Finished David Allen film 'the Primevals'. And don't forget that the SF film was inspired by a book called 'Yeti Tracks', which is a good thing that some Films were based on Books such as 'Mr. Popper's Penguins', 'Home', & 'the Adventures of Pinocchio(1996)'. And I like how the Film was promoted "from the Studio who brought you 'Looney Tunes'" in which case, it is made by Warner Bros., and also the people who worked on 'Storks', and this film now made me think of two Environmental Animated films from 20th century Fox such as 'Ferngully: the Last Rainforest' & 'Once upon a Forest'.
Halloween(2018) - I never even heard that the Original 1978 classic is getting a Remake, although It may not look like a remake, but a True sequel to the Original film, and avoiding stuff on what happened in 'Halloween II(1981)', 'Halloween 4 -Curse', & 'H20'. And I read that the original star Ms. Jamie Lee Curtis will be in this Film, as well as being executive producer for the feature along with the Original 1978 Film's Director Mr. John Carpenter, as in they want to make it look Perfect as the original Monsterpiece, and they did succeed in it in Keeping the Spirit & Atmosphere like the 1978 movie. And I gotta say, Micheal Myers is one 'Pain-in-the-Ass' monster in this Film, like he always is in the original series, and I feel sorry for the People who got killed by that Creep, the Podcasters, the Boy who was equipped with a Gun along with his daddy, and a Woman who Micheal murdered and left a Baby behind. And an amazing thing my dad found in a Twist of Story is when Micheal got hit by the Sheriff, the Sheriff and the Late Dr. Loomis' student professor went out to investigate and kill Micheal, only for the Sheriff to be killed by the Professor, and when the Professor dude wore Micheal's mask, my dad thought that he was gonna be the New Micheal Myers, but Micheal resurfaced and soon killed the Professor afterwards. And one part in the Film which left the Audience in an applause is a Sequence that was based off the Original film, when Micheal attacked Laurie and pushed her off the Balcony, he saw her Body Lying there, but when Micheal turned away and looked back again, she was gone, just like what happened in the 1978's film ending. even after watching this film with my dad, he still had alot of Questions need to be Answered about some parts in the film, and I wish they showed more of the Ending with Micheal being Burned alive in the Cellar. And this may be one Creepy Classic that i might never watch again, but I just stick with the original Masterpiece of Fright & Shock.
the Grinch - Man, I am seeing alot of Good films in 2018, and this one may be the Last that interest me that Year, and this one was an Adaption of Dr. Suess' Classic Holiday Tale, 'How the Grinch stole Christmas', or simply titled 'the Grinch'. And seeing how Interesting it looks after seeing some Previews and TV Ads, especially that part where the Grinch whispers to Max and Fred "This is the Loudest Snow I've ever heard in my Life", I've decided to give it a Go, and hoping to see if it's Fascinating like the Original 1966 Animated Classic and more Better than the 2000 Live-Action Jim Carrey one, and it was. How lucky i was to see this movie on a Day off afternoon on a Wednesday, and I thought i would be the only one seeing the Film in Theaters, but it was also some Girls and their Parents & Guardians, possibly had a Half a day off. But for the Film, I Loved how the Narrator of the Film narrates in Rhyme, like the Original Dr. Suess books, and how the Writers improvised the Story using the same Lines in the Books, and It had a Great choices in Christmas soundtrack, especially in the part with Grinch Wake-up Radio with some Familiar tunes I know and Cherished. And it was a Great Film produced by the Wonders of Illumination, the Wizards behind 'Despicable me', 'the Secret Life of Pets', & 'Sing', plus they did another Dr. Sues adaption such as 'the Lorax', even some of the character designs in the film made me think of the Designs from Disney features such as 'Wreck-It Ralph' & 'Monster University'. And some of the Voice Cast in the film I know of was Keenan Thompson of 'All That' & 'Keenan & Kel' voicing Bricklebaum, a jolly citizen of Whoville, and Angela Lansbury as the Whoville's Mayor, and how Surprised/Not Surprised to hear another Familiar Voice in the Film playing one of Cindy Lou's Friends, who that boy is none other than Mr. Sam Lavagnino, the Voice of Baby Grizz in 'We Bare Bears' & Pepper and Alien King in 'Summer Camp Island'. And I'd thought Ms. Cindy Lou Who would have a cute design just like the one in the 1966 Classic, and she did have a Cuter design in this Film when it comes to the Creative Artists of Illumination. And Yet, this has become another Holiday Classic, and when I told my Mother how much Fun it is, she might be hoping to get the Film on DVD for my Niece to Enjoy.
There was a Movie called 'the Meg', though I may have interest to see that, but I wasn't sure how much interested I will be with the Whole thing. And sorry if I didn't felt like seeing 'Ralph breaks the Internet' or 'Into the Spider-Verse', I go for the Obscure & Non-Disney taste in the Cinemas as of now.
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sureivy · 4 years
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@adamperrie
adam had been entirely in the right to cut off their friendship. ivy knew this – she also knew that adam hadn’t even seen the worst of it all. he hadn’t been in new york with her, so he hadn’t seen all of the desoxyn abuse, nor had he met her, now deceased because of desoxyn, felon friend. because of this – the guilt and borderline shame – she had done her best to completely avoid him for the past four months. it had proven easy enough. if she just stuck to her inner circle and average schedule, she found it was rare that she saw him... and yes, she had seen him, but interacted ? oh, not a chance ! she was absolutely certain what she wanted to say would be in direct contrast with what she would say.
the festival, however, was much more populous than the local subway. in addition, ivy was much worse off than she usually was in the local subway. the popularity of it gave her a clearer view of those she did and did not know. the alcohol, combined with the natural impulsivity and energy, amplified who she would be when she approached the man she recognized within the crowd. unfortunately, the man was not the danny devito lookalike she never knew the town possessed; rather, it was adam.
i’m sorry. i was a horrible friend. i was not a friend. you did so much for me. i was terrible to you. i’m sorry. that had been her sober and honest script ( or, you know, something along those lines ). however, her drunk and frenzied script did not exist. 
“ adam ! ” she called through the dark, a certain unwarranted bite present. the festival was coming to its end. yes, soon it would only be the club that was open. she’d ducked in once already, but now... before it was too late... “ adam, what the fuck ? ” she opened, asking on behalf of her high-school self. “ why – why the fuck did you fucking leave me ? was i just so bad ? ” she asked, no apparent genuineness as she drew out ‘so bad’. “ were you and your cop daddy really that fucking pure ? ” she was veering far off-script ! and, furthermore, veering far into the territory of the wrong ! could she comprehend that ? barely ! was she able to comprehend that this was not the plan ? sure !
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Rehearsal quotes out of context
“You have to die. I’m sorry”
“Don’t be! “(:
“Danny devito! “
“Danny devito is your favorite food? “
“Yea,, Danny devito”
“I need to get sleep ,, Down a whiskey or two and gO To sleep.”
“Dude!! Go see our show we have a dog making out with a kid ,man! “
“I wanna hear make your water in the chamber pot”
“Wait , actually?”
“I need to go repaint the inside of the porcelain throne “
Something Shakespeare about the better *name of person* ™️ shoving a music stand very far up someone’s ass
“He’s like WHAT THE FUCK THE TREES ARE COMING TO LIFE?!?!?!?”
“What do you REALLY want?”
“I want to go hOME”
“I broke your lead!”
“I thought you said you broke his leg?”
“No! LEAD! “
“I’LL break your leg! “
“PEOPLE ARE HERE!! Make a noise People make!!!”
“CA CAAAAW”
When the guards find r&j
“Ah! A dagger! I’ll take it out! All better! Dad of the year!”
“Okay go through his pockets for spare change “
“Oh heavens-(dropping to knees)OH FUCK, “
“You can say that, but don’t say fuck.”
*laughter*
“Where’s lady capulet ?! Lady CAPULEt GET yOuR A s s DoWn Here!”
(Looking at them lovingly with a smirk) “Ah, my wife”
“I would like to rage” but as a “HEY THERE PIZZA BOY” warmup?”
“Friends,,(someone asks a question)*marc Anthony throws script* //friends romans countrymen//
*everyone about to fight* AAAAAAAAGH
REEEETREEEEAAAAAAAAT!!!1!1!
“I don’t remember where I’m supposed to die”
Literally just every time someone says “Daddy capulet”
*goblin voice* “I AM HER LORD”
“you never said they wanted him dead -I JUST said I want him dead”
“Ting, ting tang ting ting ting-“
“Someone shoot me in the head”
“*directors name*!?!”
“nO noT really “
“I hit his butt ,and he’s like,, the fuck?”
“How rarest thou ask me questions about my hoes”
“Am I the sexiest ass you’ve ever seen?”
“You could go through here we’ll call it the polonius death curtain “
“I didn’t get good sleep maybe cause I Drank so much last night”
“Let’s all sever our arms and pledge an oath to the gods to call [SM] ‘mom’”
“Let’s say we go to my place daddy “
“Oh so this is the REAL Romeo and Juliet “
“Everyone knows plan c “
“What’s plan c? “
“kill someone”
“Like...a Suicide pact?”
“NOoO not ThAT crazy,,, just choppin off each other’s arms”
“yEAH AleX GO fERaL”
* to Alex when they climbed the stairs we didn’t know were structurally sound yet or not*
“We have a bunch of furry little friends that like to scurry around and eat things”
“Oh so *names people*”
“Ready white people?!”
“My dearest Juliet ,
I sweat profusely in a feverish anticipation as I (well) anticipate dying next to your cold crisp corpse. Oh how I wish that before I Join you in this glorified suicidal wet dream that I may kiss your lips of crimson curses one last time & that your lumptuous, lustful lips may still maintain
the moistness for one last embrace.
I will see thee again soon, my thicc thot.
Your one true hoe, Romeo (also ‘Hoe’meo or ‘thot’ague)”
“Here’s romeo’s friend we found him in the churchyard”
“If you wanna be a twerky little ass then sure”
“It’s boring as fuck”
“I dunno ,,,fuck is ,,pretty fun??”
*group hug*
“Is this grappling”
*puts hand phone up to ear*
“Yes,,hello?,,oH , it’s for you”
*middle finger*
“Does she say anything to our friend the asshole king”
/onomatopoeia from tech lady/
Shiscter
Ginger
Ooo
“You just,,,pull some testicles out of a trenchcoat “
“Hey you wanna buy some testicles”
“Sure”
“How many? I have seven”
“Get thee to a shrubbery”
“I just say come at me to some children then I’m fighting them I’m like the rock”
*Claps every time Ian places a shrub or tree anywhere *
“The Taming of the shrub!”
“That’s not the right clue blues clues”
*referring to the stump* if anyone breaks this,,,, I Will Break All Of Your Limbs”
*to the lighting with jinx*
“He doesn’t look bothered “
“He looks rather stoned”
“What’s the show don’t feed the plants”
“That was particularly chewy”
*when I blew them a kiss and they caught it and put it in her mouth, making chewing noises*
“Let’s do a dance circle around Jinx!!”
“..than Romeo and his...Juliet?”
“My dick is too low for you?”
*a piece of paper in between her legs, knee height*
“Do you know how fast you were going”
“No sir, my tomato meter was broken “
“Is that like Elvis?”
“ELVISH!!!”
“Yeah,, oh”
“Yeah!! GeT that!”
“Choke on smoke!!”
“I’m so salty,, I’m a salty boi”
“You’re just gonna die in 4-7 business days”
“Men are trash”
“Preach”
“But you’re MY trash”
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graceeast · 3 years
Text
Chapter 2
Part 14
This is a joke NSFW 18+
Today Kim came up to me and A-aron and told us that her and Karen are going to see Hannah Montana in concert. I was like yo Hannah Montana is my jam! They said they were going to hard core marathon all the shows ever made because you know you got to have the #bestofbothworlds. A-Aron and I thought it was a good idea for Karen and Kim a night to themselves.
Later I went shopping with my mom she asked me what I wanted I replied with my usual watermalon! She then asked me what else I wanted I said I dont know yellow is my favorite flavor. So she grabbed a lemon I said no you stupid bitch I said yellow. So she finally got the hint and got a box of just yellow crayons.
That night I played Wii bowling with my bro A-Aron and I was like get good scrub you bowl like your mom and he said it be like that sometimes. Then we got high #hugsnotdrugs #brosfohoes #instaverified. Anyway since kim has had her kids her tits are like #nexleval I wish she would call me daddy 🤤
Part 15
Since the girls are going out tonight A-Aron and I have to take care of the babies. #notavibe but I will still help him apparently his kid Jim said his first words they were "shove it Karen jr. #fuckit" we could not be more proud of him!
I hope A-Aron and I can raise these kids just as good a Sanic and Shrek raised their kids. Each of Sanic and Shreks kids have their own swamps that's what I call very successful.
Meanwhile at the concert Karen passed out from drinking too much and Kim is half naked and Karona is dancing on stage with Hannah Montana and Milly Cyrus herself it was very hardcore.
Part 16
Karona fell off the stage but it's ok because Billy Rae Cyrus caught her. They looked deep into each others eyes until rudely interrupted by Karen . "Excuse me!" Karen exclaimed. The Billy and her eyes locked he straight up yeeted Karona and they had some premarital kissing. Gross!
That day A-Aron texted me. "You ready to rob a bank?" I was like WTF A-Aron did you take your ADHD medication. He was like "I thought we were bros weather I took my meds or not!" "But to be honest I didn't" I said you should probably do that we will talk later. A-Aron than says "I love you bro no homo"
The girls had fun at the concert but Karona is still a little upset that Karen stole Billy from her. But they made up since Karen said "he's horrible kisser I ended up complaining to his manager Hannah Montana about it!" "And we broke up." Karona was glad she dodged a bullet with that one thank our lord and savior Dr. Phil
Part 17
A-Aron and I have to clean his room today apparently I cause 90% of the messes. Anyway his room has a white boy white sanfransico vibe to it, it has several posters of pokeman. It also have posters of big time rush. After picking up his several pairs of board shorts we are lunch which of course was case of dillos #cultured.
Karen jr. Finally learned how to complain to the manager today since we went to friendlies and she got the wrong ice cream. Jim said shut the F up Karen and Boe just minded his own business.
I cant believe Karen won the presidency! Surprisingly since she was going against Bloomerberg. Science he is an old white man and she is a black Mexican. She didn't have a great chance but she made it. She is going to make America love shrek again.
Part 18
In Chillerys class today we were listening to one of those educational songs and low key I got turnt as hell listening to it. Later I ended up buying it on iTunes for my blue totally awesome ipod shuffle. I listened to it only 600 more times. I even made a dance to it to show Chillery tomorrow in class.
We all stood up and said the pledge of the memeist then saluted the flag with Shrek on it with our middle finger as it is the way he would want it. Then we said long live our president Karen amen 🙏. Then we all dabbed and coughed in each other's faces.
That night Aaron, his family and I went to the cheesecake factory and we ate like kings. It was very good till I got home and had explosive diariah every where. Gross.
Part 19
Today I started talking to Korona cause she a cutie. She and I decided to go on a online date on roblox since that game bops. Anyway we were thinking about going to Mac Daddys for dinner on Friday I'm excited! Except when we got there Mac Daddys was closed so we had to hard-core hand job and then well you can only imagine what happened next. Its closed because of of the pepperona.
But its ok because I got quarantined with her which was nice because we did a lot of HBO and chill. We take a couple hits of the mareajowana. She is my Quranqueen.
School is online now and Chillery was talking to us then all of the sudden there was a loud noise. "What was that" Chillery yelled. A-aron raised his hand and said sorry that was me I dropped my iPad. "I soiled my depends" Chillery exclaimed. I than said Sah bro to him and Chillery yelled shut the F up. Whoh Chillery has no chill.
That night I went home and I printed off some black and white nudes for my sweet heart KTVSPN4 I hope she likes them.
Part 20
Today in school a new student came on line her name is Cardi B. All of the sudden someone who had been quiet all day raised their hand. What is it asked Carol Baskin our art teacher. "Yes, is that short for something?" Cardis cheeks turned bright red she hung her head and embarrassed and said "it's short for Carigan Backyardagain" thewhole class laughed. Carol said if we don't stop she would feed us to tigers so we shut right up.
Today after classes Karona came over we had sex and I was pretty sure I tore my rectum. But you know what they say chuck it in the fuck it bucket. Also #worthit. She enjoyed it which is good because we don't waste. Especially seman and hot pickles oh my goodness after eating one of those and watching the hot pickle movie 🤤. Hot pickle I need to repent.
The next day A-aron was down and before class Skyped my friend group apparently Karen Jr. Was getting to be a handful. Thankfully Karona is into all of the astrology stuff and a-aron yelled "what can you tell me about scoripos?" The answer was simple don't be a donter...
Chapter 21
I got home and listened to Thomas the dank engine. Then all of the sudden Korona called me. "Honey you know how we had 69 on 4/20?" Yes I answered "well I'm #tomato sauce" what? "I'm sorry I'm prego" she exclaimed I said it was going to be ok and we would figure it out. "Wow you are the best" she said.
That next day in music class we had a project to write a song about someone who inspired us. Danny Devito went first "yes this is a song about me." He said he went on singing -"this won't make us fall there is still one man we can call, Danny Devito the one that we need oh" it was very catchy. The teacher wasn't pleased but it was better then kims song about Carol Baskin.
I'm so happy Karona is prego, today we find out the gender of our baby. Turns out its a girl we are going to name her corona lite extra. I can't wait until our beautiful baby is born!
The next day in class Carole was singing about her husband it was very sus talking about sardine oil on her husband. And something about tigers and how they be snacking on his meat I don't think in a good way. Anyway big yikes.
We had a baby shower for Karona of course on the internet dont want this weird virus. She got a onsie it said dada on it I can't wait for our baby to wear it.
Part 22
A-aron sent me a link last night it said under the link "looks like you" I of course clicked on it and you will never guess what happened. It brought me to a separate video I watched it there was some unmentionable stuff happening in it, I texted A-aron and said "I think that video gave me cancer" he texted "Thanks Obama!"
The baby is due next month and we couldn't be happier we decided that when its born we are not going to vaccinate our child because autism. Dont want our kid to be messed up for life. We are going to be using natural oils and food made from home and of course cloth diapers. Got to make sure she is perfect.
At lunch I was telling A-aron our plan he completely agreed that autism is way worse than being susptible to the flu or polio he said they didn't get Karen Jr. Vaccinated and she has only gotten small pox once and the flu 4 times since she has been alive. To me thats worth it
👌 💯 😌 🙏
23
Karen started talking about "he own business on Facebook and is trying to get us to start our own. "It only takes one second to share" she sells essential oils.
" its called essential oils for a reason"
I bought some hoping that would shut her up but it did not. The next day she talking about betrayal on Facebook and how hard she is trying to sell this shit to everyone.
Just shut up no one wants your oils!
I'm so excited for Karona to have the baby any day now she will arrive and we will be so happy and a family.
Part 24
Karona went into labor in quarantine with me I delivered my own child! Like we said it is a girl so we will be naming her Karona extra light.
She was healthy and thank goodness 🙏 it was a home birth because hospitals are so disgusting and they might vaccinate her and we don't want that because everything we are doing is all natural. We are even using cloth diapers because the government expects you to use disposable but i just can't in good conscience do that to my sweet daughter.
Karona is nursing which is great because we are planning on nursing her till she is 5 because breast is best.
Part 25
Today on Facebook Karen posted one of her normal posts. "Does anyone have a truck I can borrow need to move a couch also if you could help me that would be great!." And "does anyone have any Bobby pins I can borrow?" "I'm so done with everything" "anyone want to buy essential oils and be a model for me for free?"
What a bitch just trying to get free stuff from people I never understood asking for stuff like that. Like a few things here and there but every day is kinda ridiculous. Plus who barrows Bobby pins like wtf. Like I'm pretty sure those are one time use.
Today Karen also asked me if I would sell essential oils for 10% of the profits. She also said using them could help me lose up to 10 pounds. She said it just takes 2000$ to start out but I'll earn it back next month.
Yeah right I'll earn it back never. I just told her I wasn't interested which she got really upset with. "You know you just lost me 300$!" -yeah I did the math 10% of 300 is 30. Dumb bitch oh well.
Part 26
Karona extra light started talking today apparently she is religious because first thing she said was you may be verified on Twitter but are you verified in the eyes of the lord.
I have had many conflicting feelings lately back in elementary I liked guys but now and then I liked both, but now I'm leaning more towards girls but I still sometimes have feelings for guys. Any way I'm just going to come out as Bi because I still like some guys but lean more towards females. I told Kim she was totally excepting.
Kim started a job at worst purchase today she said her day was so easy and they are actually paying her a good amount. I'm proud of who she is
But who am I is the question
Well now that I got it figured out my name is Atlas Consintine I am bi-sexaul and I'm still trying to figure it all out. I am a chillis employee that has gone through alot but I think its time for this saga of my journal to come to an end you see tomorrow is high school graduation and pretty soon I will be thinking about the next step in my life. Probably join the peace core or something. Ps simp means squirrels in my pants doesn't anyone remember Phineas and ferb. Anyway that's it for now journal until next time.
Atlas
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generous-dimensions · 6 years
Note
2, 4, 24, 84 :0
2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
I THINK ABT THIS A LOT. for sure i want to meet danny devito sometime in my life!!!! i also want to meet dan and arin for sure, or really anyone from grumps? (i got to meet the dream daddy team minus vernon and they were all rlly sweet). ellen page too bc she just. oof means a lot to me
4: What do you think about most?
lately it’s been thinking abt the twrp show in september and finn and ford and just how excited i am for all of us to hang out again
i also think abt my ocs and like. 900 different AUs to throw them into. all the fuckin time bdfhfhsfh
24: Do you have a collection of anything?
UH i can’t think of anything at the moment. nothing i would rlly call a collection. enamel pins/buttons maybe? but i dont rlly have enough of them nor do i buy them frequently??? i used to collect dolls for like, 5 years though, i have like 80 something monster high dolls lmao
84: What is a saying you say a lot?
does keysmashing count
i also think the phrase “feast upon my taint” a lot and it takes a lot of self control to not say it aloud ever
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artificialqueens · 7 years
Text
It's all about Barbie - Chapter 1 (Trixya)- Djoodi
A/N: hey guys, it’s Djoodi here! I had this idea and thought it was really cute so I wrote it for you guys! Both of them are cis-girls, by the way. I don’t have any idea of how many chapters this will be, but let’s see!
Quick summary: Trixie is a single mom who once dreamed to be a star in New York. Katya just moved from Russia to her High School BFF’s apartment because things didn’t turn out the way she planned.
Once again, sorry for the mistakes I probably did >.< English is not my first language. Hope you guys enjoy it! 
“But how did you tell her?” Violet said while Trixie painted her eyebrows “That you are lesbian.“ 
“Barbie?” the blonde girl asked “I mean, I never told her like ’Honey, I’m lesbian’. I think she knows, though. Remember when I met Pearl on Tinder and thought we could be something but we ended up just becoming best friends? I’m pretty sure she was aware of what was going on. Stop moving, goddammit, your brows will end up looking like third cousins." 
"You’re not helping me, Mattel."  the purpled haired girl sighed.
Trixie just rolled her eyes "Isn’t your sister, like, fourteen or something? I thought she had caught you and Pearl on the sofa the other day." 
"Yeah, she just turned fourteen. And she didn’t caught us, she almost did. That’s why I want to tell her. I mean, I don’t want to hide from her anymore, you know? But I don’t know how to say it like ‘Hey, Jamie, Violet likes girls. Women. Vaginas.’ or something like that.” Violet grabbed the small mirror on the top of the counter to take a look at herself “I look good as hell, fuck. Well, I always do. Thanks, Tracy.”
“You’re welcome.” the girl looked around the store to see just a small amount of people, with no one being on the MAC counter.
She took a deep breath. Another day working as a makeup artist/counter in a freaking mall in Massachusetts. She could have been a star if it wasn’t for teen pregnancy. And, although Barbara was her favorite person in the whole world and the love she had for her was infinite, Trixie couldn’t help but imagine how things could have been different if she had went to college in New York. 
“Fuck, five missing calls from Kyle.” she panicked when she saw her phone, and rushed to the employees lockers “I need to go, Vi. See you tomorrow. Good luck with Jamie." 
She grabbed all her things and went to the parking lot where she entered her car and called Kyle.
”Answer, answer…“ the girl whispered before hearing a Hello from the other side of the call "Fuck, sorry I missed your calls, I was busy, are you still with her?”
“Where the hell are you, Trixie? Waiting is not part of our deal.” the boy answered “She’s here with me inside the car.”
“I’m on my way. Still on the mall’s parking lot, though, but it is not far.” Trixie snorted “By the way, you are her father. If you can’t stay with her for twenty minutes more than what we agreed with, I don’t know who will.”
“Yeah, but I wasn’t prepared for it. I’ll let her in the playground, there are a couple of kids here. I have, unh, something to do. Bye, Trixie.”
“Kyle, you can’t just…” Trixie tried to say something, but he hang up “Such a dick.”
***
Katya sighed. Three months ago she would not have imagine herself going from an athlete in Russia to an unemployed, babysitting for her best friend who was kind enough to let her live with her in Massachusetts.
She wasn’t complaining about it. She loved America. People where much better then the Russians when talking about sexuality, for example. She even liked babysitting Melanie, although she wasn’t a big fan of kids. Since Ginger was so nice letting Katya stay with her, the least she could do was help with the kid.
Melanie was quite nice, to be honest. She definitely didn’t look like Danny DeVito, which means she looks a lot more like her father rather than like Ginger, but she had the personality of her mother. Katya would have full conversations with the six-year-old about anything.
Melanie was a big fan of Adele, enjoyed old-school movies and really liked the Spice Girls, since Ginger named her after the band. Katya taught her how to do some macaroni necklace and the both of them even had matching bracelets. 
They would go get ice-cream and even go to the mall sometimes. This was the first time Melanie took her to the park, and Katya was low-key enjoying it. It was a shame that she couldn’t take a smoke on the playground area. 
“Katya!” Melanie screamed, taking the woman out of her own thoughts.
“Да?” she looked at the ginger girl in front of her, full freckled face and a big smile really showing off her dimples.
“This is Barbara, she’s from school.” Katya stifled a laugh before she saw the girl. Barbara was the name of one of her four vaginas. It was a joke she made with someone in the past, but she still thought it was pretty funny.
“Stacey, Catherine, Barbara and Leslie.” she thought to herself “And they all hate each other.”
“Hello Barbara.” the Russian woman gave the girl a sympathetic smile before taking a look at her. Short blonde hair, baby blue dress with hot pink coat. A pink headband. The girl reminded her of a Polly Pocket, or something “How are you?" 
"Barbie!” she heard a voice and saw the little girl open a huge smile. It was the moment when a actual Barbie Doll - only thicker - appeared. The young girl hugged the woman, who was wearing a coat very similar to her. 
“So there’s an actual Barbie Girl who takes care of the young Barbie Girl?” she asked, and the woman smiled “Is she your older sister, Barbara?”
“No, she’s my mommy.” the little girl, giggled, and they saw the surprise in Katya’s eyes.
“Wanna go home, sweetheart?” the mother asked “Daddy let you here when he turned the phone off?" 
"I wanna play with Melanie a bit more, can I?” Barbie asked, giving the woman her small backpack, and her mom nodded “Thanks, mommy. Love you so much." 
"Love you too. Wait, take you coat off, you don’t want it to get dirty or something.” the woman whispered, before sitting by the Russian’s side. She saw her little girl and the ginger one rushing to the play ground, and couldn’t do anything other than smile.
“She really looks just like you. This is a compliment, by the way.” Katya said “My name is Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova, but you can call me Katya.”
“Thank you, I guess.” she smiled, unsure if that was an attempt to flirt with her “Beatrix Mattel. Call me Trixie.”
“So her name is Barbara Mattel? Now that’s a good name." 
"I wish girl, I’m all about this Barbie thing…” Trixie sighed “She’s actually Barbara Krueger, it’s her dad’s last name.”
“You look so fucking young.” the Russian covered her mouth right after saying it, which made Trixie laugh “I’m sorry if this is invasive." 
"No, that’s fine. I’m 23, I had Barbie with 17.” she grinned “How about you? Judging by your accent, you’re not from here, are you?”
“Oh, hell to the no.” Katya laughed out loud “I’m Russian, actually. And 26, babysitting my best friend’s kid. But, girl, you are so young! Are you married?" 
"God, no. I…” Trixie then realized she was about to tell a complete stranger about her whole life, and decided not to “I’m not married at all. Barbie was, like, the only thing we did together.”
“Oh… That’s something. So you’re the one who takes care of her?” she could see that Trixie was kind of uncomfortable with the question “I’m really sorry for being invasive, Trixie, you don’t need to answer it. I, like, totally forgot we just met.”
“You don’t need to be sorry.” the younger woman half smiled “I think it’s just a tricky subject to talk about, really. He’s a rich boy, if he wanted to raise her by himself he could. But he is an asshole. Especially when he found out that he got a lesbian pregnant.”
“He’s homophobic?" 
"He’s more of that ’I’m not homophobic, but…’ kind of guy, which sucks even more, to be completely honest.” Trixie sighed, and Katya nodded.
“My parents think just like him. But, hey, shit happens.” the Russian woman shrugged and took a look at the two young girls “I’m lesbian too, you know.”
“Mommy, we need to go home! The Barbie TV special begins in 30 minutes!” Barbara rushed to her mom’s lap.
“Oh, of course sweetheart! Say goodbye to Melanie and Katya, then.” Trixie stood up, grabbing the pink backpack.
“Goodbye Katya, goodbye Mel!” she said quickly, putting her coat back on.
“Wait, are you coming here tomorrow?” Melanie asked. Katya was braiding the ginger curls.
“I’m here everyday after school, silly.” the blonde girl smiled, grabbing her mother’s hand.
“Are you coming here tomorrow?” Katya asked Trixie.
“Well, I don’t know. It depends on my job, really.” she saw that the Russian woman went a little disappointed “I’m here almost everyday, though. Once in a while my friend Kim comes to get her, when I can’t. But she’s here everyday, Kyle takes here from school and let her here so he doesn’t need to go to my house.” she rolled her eyes “It was a pleasure to meet you. Let’s hope that we can meet again tomorrow or something." 
"Of course.” Katya smiled, and they saw both blondes making their way to the car.
A while passed and Katya was still braiding Melanie’s hair. That little girl had way too much hair for a six-year-old. She couldn’t help but think about the beautiful blonde Barbie Doll she had just met. She knew that Trixie for sure wasn’t on Tinder - she had spent way too time on the dating app to know who was and who wasn’t there. 
“Are you into Barbara’s mom?” Mel asked when she stood up “Because I think you are.”
“Shut up, you’re six.” Katya stared at the girl, and then stood up too “Let’s go home, I kind of want to watch the Barbie TV special now.”
***
Trixie’s apartment wasn’t big at all. It had two rooms - hers and Barbara’s -, a living room that connected with a kitchen, and two bathrooms. It had the size they needed (and also, it was what she could pay for). But it was so well decorated that it took off from the fact that it was so small. And the only people who would often attend there were herself, Barbie and Kim. Pearl and Violet would also go there on especial occasions. 
Kim was Trixie’s best friend since third grade, when they were the only girls who already used makeup. She was tall, Asian and chubby, looked like a sweet heart but could read any one for filth. She worked at a cafe and lived in the apartment on top of Trixie’s with her roommate Naomi, although she spent major time in Trixie’s place. 
“It’s bedtime, sweetie, you need to sleep.” the blonde woman said to her kid, who was laying on the living room’s carpet while watching some random show at Discovery Home & Health.
“I actually don’t need to sleep.” Barbie said, slowly sitting up “Caitlyn from school told me that we can stay eleven days without sleeping. She even searched it on Google." 
"Caitlyn is coming for you, Trix, if I were you I would watch out for this little bitch.” Kim whispered, which made the blonde giggle and roll her eyes.
“Yeah, but Caitlyn is not your mom, I am. So it is time for you to sleep.” Trixie watched her daughter make a puppy face “C'mon, Barbie, I let you stay awake for 10 minutes more than what I normally do.”
“Fine.” the young girl snorted “Goodnight mommy, I love you so much." 
"Love you too.” the blonde kissed Barbie’s forehead, while hugging her.
“Goodnight, Kim.” she said on her way to her room.
“Hope you have some nice dreams.” the pink haired Asian said, and they both watched the  “Now tell me about the park girl you said earlier.”
“Oh, okay.” Trixie sat up “When I arrived, Barbie was talking to this little ginger girl, and this blonde woman was there too. She thought we were sisters at first, which is fine.”
“It’s because you dress like a 12 year-old.” Kim laughed.
“Shut up. Anyways, Barbie and the little girl went to play and she started talking to me.”
“How was she, though?” the Asian girl asked “Like, appearance.”
“Well her clothes were definitely something out of this world. Like, she was wearing boots, a knee length denim skirt and a really ugly sweater with hideous pattern.” Trixie told her friend, who laughed “She was wearing her hair in boxer braids - is this the name of it? I don’t fucking know, that braid hairstyle that the Kardashians think they invented." 
"Who the hell is this person, Trix. Literally, you are describing a cowgirl or something.”
“Look, I know it sounds weird, but… It kind of really suited her?” Kim frowned “I don’t know, bitch, it just did. And she didn’t look like a cowgirl at all. She had beautiful cheekbones, I must say. It would be fun to paint her. Her makeup was, like, fine. Nothing crazy like yours or mine, really black eye-shadow and red lips.”
“But you thought she flirted with you?”
“Girl, I don’t know if she was flirting with me. It gave me that vibes, but, like, the last time I had an experience with flirting was with Pearl, literally a year ago. And we know this ended up with me and her laughing and binge watching America’s Next Top Model. I don’t know if I’m desperate or some shit, but I think I secretly wished she was flirting." 
"You are so thirsty, girl." 
"Bitch, I haven’t properly hooked up with someone since fucking High School!” Trixie pointed.
“Girl, look at who you are talking to. I haven’t properly hooked up with someone since my mom gave me birth.”
***
Katya was sitting at Ginger’s dinner table in her pj’s while watching her friend’s daughter sleep on the couch. She was already smoking her third cigarette while listening to her Spotify playlist, which consisted in basically in a song called “The Same Parts” by some beautiful young girl whose name she didn’t bother to know, and also some old movies soundtrack.
You could tell Ginger was from Florida just by taking a look at her place: it only had pictures of her and her family in Gatorland, Kennedy Space Center and Disney World. There was also a plaque with “WELCOME TO FLORIDA, THE SUNSHINE STATE” written on it.
Some of Katya’s best memories were with Ginger, back in the day when she used to live in Florida too. They both met each other on High School, when they were skipping classes to smoke, although Ginger was two years older then Katya. After that they became inseparable, they even had matching tattoos of the yin yang symbol, where Katya had the black part and Ginger the white one. Also, Ginger was the first person that Katya came out to.
After High School ended for Katya, she moved back to Russia to work on gymnastics. Ginger on the other hand, got married to a man who lived in Boston, who made her move from Florida to Massachusetts with him. Unfortunately they got divorced and her ex-husband left the country. Now, Ginger lived with her six-year-old daughter, and her High School BFF.
When she heard the sound of the front door being unlocked, the Russian woman immediately left her cigarette on the ashtray and rushed to the door.
“Honey, I’m home.” Ginger giggled, leaving her purse on the floor when she saw the blonde waiting for her “Girl, with this hairstyle you’re looking like fucking Pucca or some shit like that.”
“First of all, it’s very nice to see you.” Katya opened a big smile “Second of all, Pucca is a badass girl who is much stronger than any guy that lived in her village. So, if my two little buns are good enough for Pucca, they are good for me too." 
"I can’t believe you let Melanie sleep on the couch again, bitch.” Ginger rolled her eyes “She drools when she sleeps." 
"It’s not my fault that she wanted to wait for you to come home, hooker.” the Russian replied.
“And it’s not my fault that I need to work to pay this fucking bills." 
"Touché." 
"Go put her in bed, please, I’m asthmatic and overweight so I can’t hold this child.” Ginger asked while sitting at the table where Katya was before she arrived. 
“Won’t she wake up or something?”
“She sleeps like a log, don’t worry." 
"Fine then.” Katya said, picking the little girl up “She’s not heavy at all, fucking bitch.” she watched the other woman laugh at her before she let Mel in the girl’s bed.
“Is she sleeping like a little angel?” Ginger asked, joking.
“Fuck off.” the blonde woman snorted, sitting on the chair next to her friend “Hey, I need to ask you something." 
"I won’t shave your back, if that’s what you wanting me to do.” the redhead answered, making Katya burst out laughing. 
“You fucking bitch, that was not what I wanted to ask. And by the way, I don’t have a hairy back.” she said, while she stopped laughing “But on a serious note, I do have a question.”
“Bring it on, I’m all ears.”
“Do you know any of Melanie’s school friends’s parents?”
“I know some of them, yeah. Some divorced moms like myself and some hoes who think no one know they are cheating on their husbands with another man. There are some dads too.” she took a sip of water “Why, do you want to know someone specific? Please don’t tell me you are hitting on married heterosexual woman, I know you are gross but please say you are not that gross.”
“I’m not hitting on nobody yet. Or maybe I am, but she’s not married. Or straight.” Katya spilled, and saw the curiosity on Ginger’s face “Her name is Beatrix Mattel.”
“Barbara’s mom?”
“You know, I almost cackled in front of the kid and Melanie when she told her name, because Barbara is how I named one of my four vaginas.” the Russian laughed “But anyways, yep, Barbara’s mom.”
“Well, she’s a very sweet girl. The bitch is, what, 23? She works with makeup or something like that and always wears pink.”
“Yeah, she mentioned that her daughter’s dad is a homophobic asshole who got her pregnant when she was 17.”
“When did you met her?”
“Earlier today when Mel and I went to the park she was there. We talked a bit.” she smirked “She’s really cute.”
“Stop liking my daughter’s friend’s mom, that’s creepy.” Ginger said, and Katya laughed.
“I don’t like her, girl, we literally met less then 24 hours ago. I just think she’s a really interesting figure who also happens to look very beautiful." 
"You should add her on Facebook, her makeup jobs are good as hell. I always watch her little video tutorials, I guess that’s the name of it, I don’t fucking know. I only watch it because it’s beautiful, but I can’t do fucking mascara without looking like a potato that went wrong." 
"Wait, do you have her on Facebook?” Katya’s jaw dropped, and Ginger nodded “Give me this fucking phone right now, bitch.”
***
“I think I should go up, Naomi is probably waiting or something. And you look tired.” Kim stood up from the couch they were sitting on.
“I sure am.” the blonde walked towards the front door, unlocking it “Goodnight, Kim. See you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight.” the pinked hair woman waved when entering the elevator.
After closing the door, Trixie went to grab a glass of water for herself before going to bed. She was really tired, as always, specially because it was already 2 in the morning. It was all so quiet that, when she felt something holding her legs she almost had a heart attack.
“Holy fuck!” she gasped, putting a hand over her chest to feel the fast heart beats “Barbara, you almost killed me!”
“I didn’t want to scare you, I’m so sorry!” the little girl rushed to apologize.
“It-it’s okay honey, just please don’t do it again, okay?” Trixie bent so she could be at her daughter size “You were suppose to be sleeping, sweetie, why are you still awake? Were you waiting for Kim to leave?”
“No, but I just had a nightmare. Can I please sleep with you? I promise I won’t disturb." 
"Barbie, this is the third time this week that you want to sleep with me, is there something going on?” the woman asked, concerned.
“No, nothing! I just feel better sleeping with you.” the girl said.
“Fine.” Trixie didn’t full believe that there was nothing going on, mainly because Barbie was never like that. But she pretended to.
They both went to Trixie’s room and lied on her bed. The woman stroked her daughter’s hair until the 6-year-old finally fell asleep. 
“Love you.” Trixie whispered, before kissing the girl’s forehead and falling asleep by her side.
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