Tumgik
#i would die for livia blackthorn
khaleesiofalicante · 1 month
Note
tbh i know i am only a reader and it is you who makes the storyline, and i respect that and i know i cant change it, but for me as a reader this was very disappointing, heartbreaking and sad esp about the future of the series. like sort of when a mc dies like in divergent series, bc arthur wasnt just a side character but a main one like not like livia blackthorn, so it was just very disappointing, and i have been reading your fanfics since tlnd, and the first lbaf story you had ever written, so you naturally feel attached to them, and arthur dieing permanently was quite sad for me as a reader bc fanfics/stories are supposed to make you feel sad sure but with like hope of a happy ending, otherwise whats the point of reading it but again its upto you how you want the story to go, i cant tell you to do something or not, just sharing my feelings, i will continue with the story of course, i love your writing style and story plots, but this one, arthur being dead in each uni esp this one, might just be too much for me. I really hope i dont encounter lance or arthur in any of other universes from now or if you will ofourse i am sorry but i will not be reading it esp if it strats with them being 15 yrs old or something. again just bc i cannot handle that much gloominess or knowing it will end badly for them.
esp mavid too now that i know they will always loose a kid, its just makes all of their stories sad and heartbreaking like never a happy ending or like even an ending where they would be safe atleast.
hopefully (again shouldnt be, but...) lance lives atleast with thier happy ending or any semblance of it.
Of course. I can respect that.
Always bear in mind that we have autonomy over the media we consume. So, if a story (fic or tv show or anything) is turning out to be hurtful or if you don't like that, then you have every right not to read it.
Although I disagree with you about the 'point of fan fiction'. I don't think the point of fan fiction is to give a happy ending. Not at all. It could be an expectation you might have as a reader for fan fiction, but it is not what is expected of people who write it. Writers always have every right to choose how their story goes and what happens to their characters. If someone doesn't like it, they simply don't have to read it.
It sometimes help to believe that this is not canon. It's just a story someone is writing because they like writing and they like this universe. That is all.
9 notes · View notes
livsty · 5 years
Text
Tumblr media
did i do it right?
84 notes · View notes
immortal-enemies · 3 years
Note
Hi!! So I want to say I totally respect all your opinions but I had just wanted to add my two cents. Y’know, just another perspective, cause your discussions gave me interesting stuff to think about!! Hope y’all are having a good day!!
First, about Livvy- I don’t think I completely agree that she couldn’t stand on her own as a character. I do see where you’re coming from, though.
I think one of the underlying facets of her that was explored in TDA was a subtle struggle with individuality. Her brother and family means a lot to her, and for the Blackthorns especially their family was a lifeboat. Traumatized kids left orphaned and abandoned by the adults of their world logically come to depend on each other and influence one another in a perhaps more intense way than kids in normal situations do.
For example, let’s take James and Lucie at the start of TLH (not twins but are quite close in age). they’ve been able to “be their own person” in the way that we define that condition, because they exist in a time of unusual peace and freedom/security to leave one another. They can explore themselves outside of their immediate family and still have the generally guaranteed security of their loved ones.
Livvy and Ty, meanwhile, have from their childhood known separation and death. The way that their bond manifests is not just because of the stripped-down facts that they are twins and that they understand each other better.
Now, in TDA the focus was on Emma, Julian, Cristina, Mark more than it was on Livvy and Ty. That and the sheer size of the cast (a situation which has undeniably impacted a lot of CC’s writing, especially in TLH and TDA) means that we didn’t get to spend as much time with her alone. We don’t have a Livvy POV except in a short story where she’s a ghost, and for all those who will accurately say that POV is not the only way to get to deeply know a character, we just didn’t get much out of her alone except in Thule. So it’s easy to understand why she might have just been seen as disposable. And I do wish she had been developed more.
But don’t forget that Livvy was just as complex as any character- firstly because of her inherent worth as a human being, but also because:
she wanted to run an Institute one day (it doesn’t really matter that this isn’t a concrete personality trait, it was an important dream of hers that points to other aspects of her life). she wanted the bond of parabatai. she was a romantic at heart and she was scheming about Julian’s love life and talking about hot celebrities from the beginning. She loved love and weddings and celebration. She was curious about and wanted to include Kit as much as Ty was. She wanted to know what a kiss felt like. She smelled like orange blossoms. After she died and was brought back we see her reflect on the strange stasis she exists in and we see the danger of that condition.
The point is, from the exterior it’s easy to say that she revolves completely around Ty but... a lot of factors impact that perception. As to her death being considered more for its impact on the other characters: well, no one looked at the situation and thought primarily, “this sucks because we’re going to be so sad.” They grieved for her loss and all the things she would never get to see or do because they cared about her as a person, because of her and not because of anyone else. Livia’s Watch wasn’t established for Julian to feel sorry for himself or to make Ty feel better- grief doesn’t work that way. It was to try and honor Livvy, to put her name and character and associated feelings on something larger in order to make up a little for what she lost.
One last thing- are we forgetting Thule Livvy :(
I understand “it’s not the same Livvy.” Let’s worry less about the technicalities of how much their souls match up and think more about the actual character. The whole alternate universe construction is meant to evoke one main idea: POTENTIAL. what could have happened. It asks, what if. Now the irony is that Livvy died in the main world and in Thule she was the only true and known survivor. Outside of this, though, didn’t Livvy have the capacity to fall in love? To grieve? To stand alone as a character and save lives, protect others, make awful decisions as the leader of a weakened people? Didn’t she become even more of a key player by the time Julian and Emma left?
Just stuff to think about! Obviously no one has to agree with me lol
Hiiiii!!! Don't worry! You're good!!
I always viewed Dru as the Blackthorn who was fighting to stand out 🤔
Yes! James and Lucie are very sperate characters! But, that's because they, along with Cordelia, are both the main characters in the series. (CC said herself that it was each of their stories)
Livvy, in the other hand, exists purely because of Ty. She's not a main character, she's somewhere between a secondary character and a tertiary character. To me it feels like she existed to make us like her and then she was killed so Ty and Kit could resurrect her, which would go wrong, and that leads into TWP.
CC obviously knew Livvy was going to die from the start. She didn't just write the end of LoS and think "ya know what would be CRAZY lol?" She knew Livvy was going to die. So there wasn't much need to really grow her character into one that could stand on its own. Especially since once she was a ghost, she was tied to Ty and really couldn't develop because she has to be apart of Ty. She's not even really her own character anymore.
Yes, I did take Thule Livvy into consideration. I think she was more so put in there for the same reason all of Thule was; to set up TWP.
Yes, she was important in Thule. I mean, I don't think anyone could honestly say that Thule Shadowhunters would even exist without her.
But the story doesn't take place in Thule. She is Livvy, but she's not Livvy, so I think comparing them to the standard of "can they stand by themselves" is a little unfair.
Jdbdjsjsjs yes! All of these reasons are completely valid!! And thank you for sharing them!!
8 notes · View notes
icycoolslushie · 3 years
Note
tbh as a bi ace I think Livvy is a blank slate mostly? And what I mean is NOT that her character is insignificant but just because she was a side character and then like... she died... we didn’t get a lot of her motivations and inner stuff 😭
So I feel like if we wanna hc her as questioning ace that would be pretty cool I think. Also of course she/Thule Livvy could be like demi. We just don’t know a whole lot about her unfortunately but maybe we’ll get more reflection on that aspect of things in TWP.
And now that she’s a ghost without a physical body or an anchored soul tying her down (unlike Jesse) we might not really find out since her feelings are so affected by that magic.
Cause like I can imagine a really heartbreaking scene where Livvy is reflecting on how she didn’t grow up/stayed the same while Ty changed and grew up, and I can see CC wanting to make it romantic like “oh Livvy never got the chance to grow up and experience romance” meanwhile we’re like what if Livvy is ace aro! Her death was sad for reasons other than her not falling in romantic love!
But I love queer Livvy and queer everything lol so imma say sure! Ace/aro Livia blackthorn for the win
Yeah, with Livvy, we don't get much about her sexuality or even her orientation other than "typical teenage girl" I guess? (Maybe that sounds cliché?? Idk.)
I think demi!Livvy sounds really cool, especially considering a lot of people hc Julian to be demi as well. Her and Julian finding out their sexuality together... I'm gonna go cry lol-
True, she isn't like Jesse, but she isn't a normal ghost either, so it's kind of double the magic.
Aroace!Livvy will just be amazing, or queer!Livvy in general, maybe demi!Livvy or even omni!Livvy; lots of people die without love, and who knows? Some of them might be ace/aro/or in the ace/aro-spec and that's totally fine! Her death was the saddest because her family had to live without her, and that's one of the saddest things I can imagine. And she was so young, only 15!
Also having Thule!Livvy be demi is just *chef's kiss* (my own personal hc)
Yes!!! Aroace!Livvy!!! Demi!Livvy!!! Queer!Livvy for the win!!!
5 notes · View notes
morgnstern-old · 4 years
Text
Nobody asked for this, but here it is....
Making my friend rate The Dark Artifices characters 😉
Emma Carstairs: 9/10 She seems to be super badass and bloody, I love her hair, and I think that she is lesbian.
Julian Blackthorn: 9/10 He is super gay, he is cute, but he also seems to be sad, something happened to him and left him marked for life.
Cristina Rosales: 6/10 She looks cute, flirty, and adorable. She is straight
Mark Blackthorn: 8/10 Serious, brave, acts well in dangerous situations but he is quiet.
Kieran Kingson: 6/10 He is a murderer, I like his ears and his hair is cool, I do not have an exact opinion.
Diana Wrayburn: 9/10 She is serious, intelligent, I see something like an older sister who would die for the ones she loves.
Ty Blackthorn: 10/10 He is a sad boy, he likes music, and he does not have many friends.
Kit Herondale: 5/10 He looks like a lonely badboy with a dark past.
Livia Blackthorn: 9/10 Cold as ice, she is an orphan, also brave and rude.
Drusilla Blackthorn: 8/10 At first she's rough, but when you get to know her, she's a softie.
Diego Rosales: 5/10 I feel like he had a very dark past and that he doesn't trust people at first sight, he is also kinda rude. He is bisexual.
Tavvy Blackthorn: 11/10 Awww he's tender and sweet, although he wants to be rude and intrepid, but he is very cute to be taken seriously
Malcolm Fade: 4/10 He gives me a bad feeling, I feel that he is bad, but he disguises himself as good, he is a bit arrogant.
Annabel Blackthorn: 10/10 She looks a bit naughty and playful, but when she is in a dangerous situation, she activates her badass mode.
My friend rating TLH characters
41 notes · View notes
my-failed-attempt · 4 years
Text
I would kill, die and perform necromancy for Livia Blackthorn
8 notes · View notes
titsthedamnseason · 5 years
Text
so this is so???random but my family does this thing where every few months or so we buy a puzzle to work on with increasingly more and more pieces and we literally just spread the pieces out on the table where we eat and just work on it as we please so i present you: blackthorn family puzzle escapades 
*im ignoring some aspects of canon here because i dont want blackthorn family puzzles if livia blackthorn does not participate them*
julian had the idea for family bonding a few years ago
he bought a 500 piece puzzle for everyone to complete together a little after the dark war and just spread it out on the kitchen table for everyone to do 
they quickly got bored just sitting there and doing it so it became more of something to do as they came and went or got bored
it took up half the table but they just squished a little closer down at the other end 
after less than a week it was completed and they gave tavvy the honor of placing the last piece 
they were all so proud of themselves 
julian doesnt get another one for a while because everyone was so sick of puzzles by the end including him 
but a few months later he gets one with 700 pieces, then 1000, etc.
over the years they fall into the rhythm of just working around puzzle time 
they cant really squeeze at the kitchen table anymore once it gets to be 1000+ pieces so they all just know to eat in the dining room when it’s puzzle season
(when cristina comes she asks why they dont just do the puzzle in one of the hundreds of empty institute rooms but shut up cristina it’s tradition)
now some specifics
ty is the best at the puzzles because in general he’s just good at puzzley things and he’s also one of the only ones that will sit for hours and work on it without getting bored
livvy is also pretty good and she’ll sit with ty while he works but she cant sit and do it for as long as him so she’s mostly just keeping him company after she tires of doing it for the day
dru is right behind ty on the puzzle train. she would rather die than leave a puzzle unfinished. dru and ty are puzzle buddies that spend hours together working on the puzzle
tavvy doesnt really do that much but he loves to feel like he’s helping so the blackthorns will give him two pieces they know match or show him where to place one so he can feel accomplished
julian is okay at puzzles but he quickly bores and tires of them and the general disorganization of the pieces on the table stress him out so he’ll work on it to appease the kids but not really for his own enjoyment
emma detests puzzles so she’ll do like three pieces the entire time and just talk to and distract everyone the rest which they arent necessarily upset about because she’s good company while working but she does nothing to actually help
when mark comes back puzzle days confuse him but he eventually comes around to them and will get a significantly decent amount done 
diana loves the puzzles and the theme/idea surrounding them and will cancel training to work on it help out when she has time
helen and aline did a lot of puzzles to pass the time on wrangel island so theyre good at them and love helping but theyre also kind of sick of them and can only handle so much puzzle in their lives
cristina is very good at the puzzles and helps to the best of her ability 
kit hates puzzle days and will only sit and talk to ty but otherwise resents the fact that the puzzle takes over the kitchen. he refuses to contribute entirely and never does a single piece except that secret one time ty asked him to
out of everyone emma always seems the most excited when the puzzle is finished and goes on about how she’s “so proud of us” to which everyone grumbles that she is not included in the us
she disagrees 
puzzle days do instill a general air of everyone working together but that’s not to say they don’t start fights because 
“who finished that part i left here that was mine to finish”
“youve had that piece i was looking for this entire time?!”
“kit, for the last time, no food on the puzzle table”
it also is a great way to get back at people 
dru and livvy fighting? what’s to stop dru from removing a few pieces that livvy had just put together and, say, hide them in a very secretive hiding spot??
although that is only in very serious cases because these puzzles are no joke and undoing someone’s progress is only appropriate in the most dire of situations 
the tradition of tavvy placing the last piece with everyone gathered around to watch turns into emma putting in the last piece because tavvy actually gets kind of good and emma is still useless in the puzzle department 
kit actually does start begrudgingly helping over the years when he sees some pieces that go together 
it always worked out that kieran was never really around for puzzle weeks but when he finally is one day and arrives at the institute to find the entire blackthorn family and co spreading out a new puzzle over the table and a little on the counter next to the stove because its just impossible to fit 10000 pieces on that one table, helen he’s a little horrified and decides to just wander until dinner
one time dru is going to the kitchen to work on the puzzle and walks in on emma and julian making out against the kitchen puzzle table and to make matters worse emma is sitting on the puzzle and to make matters even worse she’s sitting right on the section dru had been working on 
dru was mortified(as were julian and emma) but revenge was more important so dru tells everyone and they never live it down
literally never
dru brings it up in her toast at their wedding
158 notes · View notes
sockmonstergotstyle · 5 years
Text
500 pages into Kingdom of Ash
Dorian turning into a woman and instantly wanting to masturbate is the most book 1 Dorian thing he’s done
Everyone else: ‘war has come for us....we’ll all die with the morning..... our blood shall spill like the red light of Dawn.....’ Dorian: ‘I’m a WOMAN I have BOOBS where’s my DICK GONE’
Manon taking back the crown oof we stan a queen
I usually guess who is likely to die by who has the ‘future’ talk. The majority of beloved characters doomed to die will at some point before have a discussion about their future — planning a family, a career, simply being excited for what’s to come. Good examples are Fred Weasley (the “at my wedding...” convo in deathly hallows), Finnick O’Daire (just got married, wife was preggers) and Livia Blackthorn (anyone remember that talk with Julian when she said she wanted to be like him in the future? She was doomed from then)
Which is why all of Chaol and Yrene’s talk about having a future and building a home and a family concerns me a little
Not that I’m saying they’ll die, but I’m just quite aware of the focus on their future
My favourite thing about Aelin is that I know for a fact if she was a tsc character half the fandom would have ‘anti Aelin’ blogs lmao
Every time Elide puts Lorcan in his place a powerful woman gets her wings
Lorcan being so overcome with ~angst~ and launching himself into battle only to get stabbed was a real moment. That’s what u get for being so damn emo Boo
In an alternate universe he’d be listening to MCR while fighting and above Rowan would be like ‘Lorcan watch out that guy has a sword — oh no he can’t hear me has AirPods in oh fuck’
Chaol, mid-battle: my horse is called BUTTERFLY
I love Aelin’s grand entries. Like, she could join on time and help the soldiers, or she could enter later for the ✨drama ✨
I really hope Aelin whoops Aedion’s arse when she gets to Terrassen for being so shitty to Lysandra
Overall, stil vv good. Lots of shit happening. Lots of fighting. Still scared for what’s to come tho
25 notes · View notes
searchforthescars · 5 years
Note
Congrats on 2k followers you so deserve it!! Can I request a Livvy Lives fic with all the Blackthorns? Angst or happy, or whatever you feel like..:)
Oof this took me SO LONG and I do apologize. Life and work happened, you know how it be... Anyway, thank you for the request! I hope this made up for the wait. :) 
(beginning excerpt is from Lord of Shadows, showing the moment I diverted from canon lol)
Julian made a noise. It was a noise Emma couldn’t have described, not as human a sound as a howl or a scream. It sounded like it was ripped out of the inside of him, like something brutal was tearing through his chest. He dropped the longsword Livvy had risked so much to bring him, fell to his knees, and crawled to her, pulling her into his lap.
“Livvy, Livvy, my Livvy,” he whispered, cradling her, feverishly stroking her blood-wet hair away from her face. There was so much blood. He was covered in it in seconds; it had soaked through Livvy’s clothes, even her shoes were drenched in it. “Livia.” His hands shook; he fumbled out his stele, put it to her arm.
The healing rune vanished as quickly as he drew it.
Emma waited for the healing rune to vanish. She could feel the ache in her gut grow and deaden, her arms go numb, her knees weaken until she was forced to sink down to kneel beside Julian, her pants soaking up the blood. She’s gone, Emma almost said. She’s gone, Jules, she-”
The iratze didn’t vanish.
“Julian,” she gasped. “Julian, she’s still alive! Another, draw another rune!”
Frozen in grief and disbelief, Julian didn’t move. Emma swore exasperatedly and snatched the stele from his hand, sketching rune after sloppy rune. “Livvy, Livvy, come on, come on,” she muttered while Julian held onto her, still stroking her hair, seemingly suspended, unsure of what to do. “Alec!” Emma cried. “Mark! Someone help!”
A flurry of noise and motion surrounded them. Alec and Isabelle flanked Mark, standing watch over Ty, lying so still - too still, too much like Livvy, Emma thought, the fear strangling her heart - while the Silent Brothers somehow got Livvy away from Julian’s desperate arms.
“I’m going with her,” he told one of the Brothers, hoarse, hands trembling. Blood dripped from his fingers like red paint. “You can’t stop me. I’m going with her.”
A moment of silence. Emma thought for sure they would turn from Julian, was prepared to struggle to her feet and demand that Julian go with his sister, his baby girl. But the Brothers must have relented because Julian followed them without another word.
“Watch Ty?” he asked, a question he didn’t need to voice. Emma nodded and Julian vanished, leaving her on her knees, blood from the dais dripping down the steps.
Cortana lay beside her, covered in blood. A thousand questions flitted through her brain. How did Cortana break a Mortal Instrument? How could Livvy be so careless? And how could she, Julian’s parabatai, sworn protector of the Blackthorn family, be so stupid, so inept, to let Annabel anywhere near her family?
She doesn’t realize she’s crying until Cristina’s arms are around her, holding her tight and hauling her up.
“Emma, Emma, you shouldn’t-” A gasp. She must have seen the blood. “Ay Dios mio, Emma, whose blood is-”
“Livvy,” Emma gasped. There wasn’t enough air in this room. Such tall ceilings and no air. It was all sucked away by grief, by Maryse and Alec crying over Robert’s body, by Simon and Mark leaning over Ty drawing runes that couldn’t heal a broken heart. “Tina, Livvy, she’s-”
A gasp. Mark reared back and Ty sat up, shouting Livvy’s name, her full name, in a plaintive cry.
“Where is she?” he asked, panicking, hands fluttering. Somewhere, a door banged open and Kit ran in, hair askew, eyes wide and fearful.
“I heard someone was hurt, a Blackthorn,” he gasped, eyes landing on Ty, scanning his body. Emma doesn’t have the heart to tell him.
“Where is she?” Ty asked again, looking up at Kit, over at Mark.
“Julian went with her to the Silent City,” Emma found the presence of mind to say.
One of Ty’s hands flies to his chest, pressing down, down, down. “She’s not dead.”
Emma thought it would be a question, but it wasn’t. It was a statement. “Ty…”
“She’s not dead,” he said again, eyes blazing with certainty. “I want to go to her. Julian did. I want to go too.”
“Ty,” Mark started. Ty ignored him and struggled to his feet. “Ty, you shouldn’t-”
Ty locked eyes with Emma. “Take me to Julian,” he said, loud and clear.
Cristina let go of her. Emma tried not to think about the blood caking her knees, her hands, the ends of her hair. “Okay.” She looked at Ty and saw nothing but determination and desperation in her eyes. Kit moved to stand beside him, ever his shadow. Livvy’s two protectors. Emma smiled at the thought that she has boys now, just like Tina. Just like Emma herself. “Okay.”
Ty led the way. Emma didn’t remember how or why he knew where to go, but she remembered the screaming.
Julian would want her to shield him, she thought, reaching for the back of Ty’s shirt. Kit grabbed her arm and shook his head.
“Livvy!” Ty shouted, pushing against the iron door, stumbling slightly when it gave way. She was on a table, back arched up in pain, faint cries leaving her lips as the Brothers worked at pulling the shattered sword from her chest.
Emma was going to throw up, she decided, and clamped a hand over her nose and mouth to stave it off. From where Julian stood, gripping his sister’s hand tight enough to bruise, he looked at her.
Why did you bring them here? his eyes asked. She hoped hers answered that she didn’t really have a choice. Ty is like a freight train sometimes - he barrels forward whether you’re with him or not.
Livvy cried out again. A fresh wave of nausea punched Emma in the gut. Ty moved around the table until he was standing next to Julian.
“Livvy,” he murmured, moving to touch the place where the sword pierced her body. He whispered more things, words she didn’t understand. Their secret language, the one they made up when they were kids.
Emma saw them, suddenly. Saw them as toddlers, pulling on everything hanging within their grasp. Studiously paging through books, sounding out one word at a time. Sleeping in the same bed, studying the same things, thinking the same thoughts. Always together. Always, always, always.
It was her failure that might pull them apart, she realized. Bile rose in her throat. Mea culpa, she thought as hard as she could, as if there was some kind of atonement or apology in those words. Mea maxima culpa. My fault, my own, most grievous fault.
Ty kept whispering, touching her chest, her cheeks, the blade itself. The Brothers eased it out, inch by agonizing inch. Each time, she cried out, never waking, tears leaking from her closed eyes. Each time, Julian let out an agonized moan and Ty flinched forward, pressing the heel of his hand to his chest.
“What do we do?” Kit asked, voice anguished. “How do we help them?”
Emma shook her head. “We can’t,” she whispered, a tear falling over the hand still clapped over her mouth.
The broken Mortal Sword lay discarded on the ground, covered in Livvy’s blood, and beside it, sat Ty and Kit, leaning against the bed where Livvy rested.
The Brothers told Julian there were still no guarantees whether or not Livvy would survive. Kit wondered if a mundane hospital would give her a better chance. Probably not. Those iratzes do their job well. He just didn’t know if they would be good enough.
Ty’s hands moved restlessly, picking at his shirt, his pants, pulling on his fingers. His eyes were shut tight. Kit fought the urge to take his hands in his, rub them briskly like Livvy always did.
His heart ached. He hated seeing her like that, cold and pale and nearly lifeless. It terrified him. She was - is - the most alive person he knew.
Please don’t let her die, he prayed, in case the Angel was listening. Please don’t separate them. It will kill him.
Ty’s eyes flew open. A second after, Livvy started to move. Just a little bit - her fingers started twitching - but it was enough for both boys to rise to their knees and peer down at her.
“Livvy?” Ty whispered, touching the tips of his fingers to her forehead. “Livia. Open your eyes.”
She made a soft sound of pain, her cracked lips parting. “Ty,” she gasped, head tossing side to side, brow furrowing. When her eyed opened, they were glassy and full of pain.
Ty looked at her like she was the best thing he had ever seen. “Livvy,” he breathed. “You’re okay. You’re going to be fine.”
“Ty,” she said again, one shaking hand reaching for him. Her eyes skated over his face to land on Kit’s. “Kit.”
Unexpected emotion welled in him. “We’re here, Livvy,” he said, voice shaking. Ty shifted so he was kneeling with his arms resting on the edge of her bed, his head on her arm. He could probably feel her pulse against his forehead, Kit thought. “We’re here.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, contorting her wrist to pet Ty’s hair. “I’m sorry, Ty-Ty.”
Ty lifted his head. The twins locked eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” he said.
That was final. Livvy’s eyes drifted closed. The pained furrow in her brow faded when Kit drew a clumsy dreamless sleep rune on her leg.
“Thank you,” Ty murmured, not lifting his head.
“Did I do the right one?” Kit wondered.
“Not- not for that,” Ty said, irritated. “For coming. For staying.”
Kit looked at him. Looked at Livvy, still too cold and pale. When he touched his hand to the wound on her chest, too gaping and open for iratzes to fully heal, he could feel the steady thump of her heart. He didn’t have to touch Ty to know that his beat in synch.
“Always,” he said without thinking. It was a promise to both of them, he thought. “Always.”
The second Livvy returned home, Dru hugged her for all they both were worth.
“Watch her wound!” Julian scolded, but neither sister cared as they clung to one another for dear life. Dru was vaguely aware that she was crying, shaking in Livvy’s arms, clinging to her shirt and the ends of her hair, but Livvy was also crying, so it didn’t matter.
“Are you okay?” Dru kept asking despite Livvy’s repeated nods against her head. “Livvy, are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she said. “I’m fine, Dru, I’m okay.”
Dru pulled back to pet the top of Livvy’s hair and brush away her tears. “Don’t ever, EVER do that again!” she shouted, shaking Livvy gently by the shoulders. “You could have DIED!”
“But I didn’t,” Livvy said, a smirk quirking up the corner of her mouth. 
Dru rolled her eyes and pulled her into another hug. Over Livvy’s shoulder, Dru saw Julian smiling, every inch the proud parent.
She held out her arm to Julian, who stepped into the embrace. Emma followed, then Kit, and Dru could barely believe it when Ty rested a careful hand on her back and tangled the other one in Livvy’s hair.
Blackthorns, all together, she thought, kissing Livvy’s cheek and sinking into the warmth of her family. For once, they didn’t lose someone. For once, someone came back.
16 notes · View notes
jellybeanbeing · 5 years
Text
Queen of Air and Darkness by Cassandra Clare
WARNING: It’s gon’ be long.
Synopsis:
What if damnation is the price of true love?
Innocent blood has been spilled on the steps of the Council Hall, the sacred stronghold of the Shadowhunters. In the wake of the tragic death of Livia Blackthorn, the Clave teeters on the brink of civil war. One fragment of the Blackthorn family flees to Los Angeles, seeking to discover the source of the blight that is destroying the race of warlocks.
Meanwhile, Julian and Emma take desperate measures to put their forbidden love aside and undertake a perilous mission to Faerie to retrieve the Black Volume of the Dead. What they find in the Courts is a secret that may tear the Shadow World asunder and open a dark path into a future they could never have imagined. Caught in a race against time, Emma and Julian must save the world of Shadowhunters before the deadly power of the parabatai curse destroys them and everyone they love.
REVIEW WITH SPOILERS!
Queen of Air and Darkness was INTENSE. My goodness... There was so much stuff that happened and were packed into this book. It was amazing and so well done with some exceptions but I’ll get into it later on. Overall, it was so emotional, dynamic, and great! And since this book was so big, I’m gonna try to go over every storyline(?) or significant character.
Starting off with Ty/Kit/Dru. I knew that some necromancy was gonna happen and I was prepared for it, BUT I thought that Livvy’s ghost was gonna pop up and say “stop it” and then everything would go back. Apparently, that’s not what happens. Ty now has to face his consequences which I’m pretty sure we’re going to see in The Wicked Powers. I wasn’t so invested in their story line, mostly because it didn’t have a big relation with the bigger story line. I felt like it was all set up for Kit and Ty’s story. I did really enjoy it though. We get to see more layers of Kit and Ty, and even Dru. I really loved getting to know Dru more. She has such a great voice and seeing things from her perspective was so interesting. I’m really excited to get more from her because what we did get from her in QOAAD, I really liked. She’s so smart, strong, and has a lot of potential to grown and be an even more amazing character.
I am loving Kit even more as we get to know him and the complexity of his character. I can understand his decision at the end when he wants to leave with Tessa and Jem without saying goodbye to the Blackthorns (especially Ty). Since Livvy’s death, all Kit did was be there for Ty even if what he was doing was really wrong. But when they both were at Lake Lyn and Livvy’s ghost came up, Ty was saying how there was nothing for him if Livvy wasn’t there, and that hurt Kit. So I can understand Kit’s decision. On another note though, KIT IS THE DESCENDANT OF THE FIRST HEIR? And that scene where he and Emma are with the Riders and magic just bursts out of him? How did that even happen? I need to know what is up with that. Again, on another note, I am always loving how Kit is accepting the fact that he’s a Shadowhunter. I love a good character development, and Kit’s development is so good. When he has that conversation with Jace, Kit wants his own weapon of choice and it was such a precious scene. We can really see Kit’s growing love of being a Shadowhunter.
We didn’t get a Ty perspective AT ALL in QOAAD so I’m really thinking Cassandra Clare is saving his voice for TWP which I’m all for. We’ll get to hear his voice and it’ll be so great. Ty was really something in this book though. I was lowkey kind of getting Julian-ish vibes from him. Ty was so determined to fix himself and his family that he completely forgot the logistics of everything and tried to do the almost impossible. We saw that Blackthorn stubbornness in him and I wasn’t all about it. I JUST NEED HIS PERSPECTIVE because when he got that letter from Thule Livvy, it seemed like he didn’t care. Not even a tiny bit. I just... I need TWP now. On a side note, holy mole. What if the Thule Jace coming to the normal Shadowhunter world is the consequence for Ty trying to raise Livvy? The necromancy could’ve opened a portal and let them pass through. Oh shit. DAMN IT. That means Ty will have to face this consequence and there’s gonna be another war. Are you kidding me?
I want to explore the Scholomance more. With just the small scenes we get of it, it seems so interesting. They weren’t happy or jolly scenes but something about it makes me want to delve in the Centurions lives more. I’m hoping that in The Wicked Powers, we will get to see more of the Scholomance. Especially since Ty is going to become a Centurion which WOW. I can’t wait for it. 
Moving onto Diana/Jia. Seeing things from their perspectives was pretty interesting considering that they are really the only adults here besides the TMI gang. We really saw the politics during their parts and it was unsettling because of the parallels it had with our real world politics. That was one thing that scared me. We know how things have gone in the real world when hateful people and extremists have power and influence. With those parallels, we can kind of grasp at how high the stakes are within the Shadowhunter government. There was that scene where Diego, Divya, and Rayan are brought upon the council and have the runes of Quietude put on them so they can’t speak. This hit me hard and made me tear up because it was so real. They, who are still basically children, aren’t given the chance to speak for themselves and are imprisoned. It was so heartbreaking to read that scene. But overall, I didn’t really care for Diana/Jia’s story line because nothing really happened.
There was that one badass scene where Diana was talking to Horace and he’s trying to convince her to side with him. I was so nervous that Diana wouldn’t have a way out of it and when she agreed to it, I was like, WE ARE FUCKED. But no. Diana grabs Horace’s sword, chops his arm off, and busts out the window like a BADASS. I was livid. 
And then the hot faerie threesome aka Cristina/Mark/Kieran. This was a pretty wild one. I absolutely loved the character development with every one of them. Not really Cristina because her character arc wasn’t that big or different. Mark and Kieran have come so far from being these broken faerie warriors to these strong and amazing people. It makes my heart ache and feel so happy. Oh my gosh, that last scene with the three of them at Magnus and Alec’s wedding, killed me. There’s that recurring line “Remember that none of it is real.” and at the end, Mark says, “Remember that all of this is real.” RIGHT IN THE FEELS.
I need to know more about the relationship between the Rosales family and faeries. There are so many unanswered questions with this. Why does Cristina have that time medallion thingy and the Rosales have the Eternidad? And I’m pretty sure there’s something sketchy about all of that. I need answers...
Speaking of the Rosales, Diego and Jaime? I actually really liked them in this book. I was pissed at Diego for lying to Cristina but he kind of redeemed his character. He showed his compassion and kindness which I really liked, and he apologized to Cristina. He confronted the situation and knew what he did was really shitty. Side note: I really ship him with Divya and I’m hoping to see them both in TWP at the Scholomance with Ty. ALSO, Diego was asked to take the spot as Inquisitor????? Would’ve never thought of Diego as the Inquisitor but I’m not mad. Yay, Diego. Jaime literally didn’t have a huge role in here and I felt like he was just there to set up TWP story line. For a second when Diego and Jaime were in the cell together, I thought that Jaime was going to die. I think it would’ve added so much more drama if he did die and given them something to hold against the Cohort but it’s okay. Jaime lived so yay.
Really quick before we get into Emma and Julian’s part, Aline was probably one of my top favorite characters in QOAAD. She was so sassy and always stood up for Helen. She was also so understanding and logical. Aline is quick to catch onto things and I’m hoping we get to see more or Helen and Aline and their POSSIBLE BABY.
Now let’s get to Emma and Julian. I was kind of disappointed in their characters, not gonna lie. I was really liking them in the beginning but towards the end, I was beginning to not really care if they lived or not. It just makes me sad because they’re the main characters. But if I’m gonna be REAL HONEST here, I didn’t really care for anyone’s story line. This pains me to say SO MUCH because this is my favorite series in the entire Shadowhunter Chronicles. 
Anyways, back to Emma and Julian. I was really liking borderline evil Julian. He was really living up to his ruthless title and it was so interesting. I seriously thought that his character would just continue to go downhill and no one was going to or could save him from it. That scene where Emma and Julian find out that Dane Larkspear was following them and then Julian MURDERS HIM sent chills down my spine. Julian was so cold and heartless in that moment and I kind of liked it. Also, call me heartless too but Dane deserved it. When he decided to go fetch the Black Volume by himself, he was asking to be killed. Back to Julian, though I liked borderline evil and emotionless Julian, he was such an asshole. Not only did he lie to and hurt Emma, he also did the same thing to his siblings. What the fudge nuggets, Julian? I was so glad that Magnus took that spell off of him because I was low key getting irritated. BUT that spell should have never been put on him in the first place, just saying.
I still think Emma is such a great strong female lead character. As I said in my Lady Midnight review, she is strong both mentally and physically but she has emotions. She expresses those emotions and shows her vulnerabilities. She ain’t no stone cold badass who welds a sword around, threatening people all the time. She’s a cool badass and I love it. One thing I really liked was how when Emma and Julian are in Thule and Julian tells Emma that he can feel again, she doesn’t just jump at the chance to be with Julian. He hurt her and lied to her, and she ain’t about that. Even when they returned from Thule, Emma knew Julian wasn’t himself and restrained herself from getting hurt by him again. 
That battle scene in the Unseelie Court was probably one of the most epic scenes in this book for me. We get Jace and Clary back, Mark and Kieran are there in chains, about to die, and there’s also Adaon, Julian, Emma, and Cristina there. I almost forgot that ASH, ANNABEL, AND THE SEELIE QUEEN WERE THERE TOO! Everything just went to shit but Kieran killed the Unseelie King, the Seelie Queen stole Adaon, Ash and Annabel jump through that portal, and soon after when the building is in flames, Julian and Emma jump through the portal too. It was absolute chaos and I loved it. And you know what scene I lived for during this whole thing? It’s when Julian is stabbing the shit out of Ethna with Simon’s D&D figurine. Amazing.
This book made me realize how crucial or very helpful it is to have read The Mortal Instruments and The Infernal Devices. I feel like if you’ve only really read TID and TDA, you won’t be able to grasp the how high the stakes are in Queen of Air and Darkness. Especially the whole deal with the Mortal sword and the Dark War.
Speaking of the Dark War.. when Emma and Julian went to Thule, I didn’t know what to expect but I was not expecting what we got. It was so different from what we know of the Shadowhunter world and it felt like a short novella inside QOAAD. But again, being honest here, that was the best part in this entire book. I was so captivated and entertained by this alternate dimension. Seeing Livia grown up and being a leader was just so nice to see, but it was also heartbreaking. 
Y’all, Cameron deserved so much more. I don’t know about you guys but I didn’t really care or like Cameron because we got the bare minimum of him. I also don’t know if it was mentioned in the other books about how he was as a person but the way Emma described him in QOAAD, he seemed like a sweet and goofy guy. I mean, this boy sent Emma llama pictures when he was sad. How precious is that? He was done dirty in this book. He was locked in the city of bones while fighting for his life by his girlfriend Livvy, got stabbed by his own cousin, and was ridiculed by his entire family. Cameron needs a hug.
I am so loving how the writing and characters in this book are getting so (dare i say) “rebellious”. Cassandra Clare isn’t sugar coating ANYTHING OR ANYONE anymore. I just want to appreciate the appearance of curse words whether its in English or another language. My rebellious heart loves it. I think this also ties into the fact that a lot of these characters are so done with the bullshit that’s been thrown at them that they just don’t care about censoring themselves anymore.
Zara and the entire Cohort can go choke. That’s all I’m gonna say about them.
That last battle scene was just intense. And the build up for this scene was equally as intense. I just absolutely loved how Julian got his shit together and remembered who he was. He is a motherforking genius. He contacted everyone he knew and set up that meeting. This seventeen year old boy did that. He was also smart enough to know that there was obviously going to be spies at the meeting so he had a secluded one after the majority of people left. I knew the Cohort was screwed from there on out, even when it was revealed that “Oskar” was Annabel. I was shocked but I knew they were gonna be in deep shit. But back to that last battle scene. What the fork? Everything was going pretty smoothly until someone just had to throw the knife and kill someone. I was living for that scene with the Mortal Sword. Everything was coming out and it was so amazing. But shit happened, so there’s that. 
The ending for this battle scene was a different kind of battle scene that I’m used to reading. Usually the perspective stays within the battle but Cassandra Clare included ALL perspectives of this battle, on field and out. I seriously thought that after Emma and Julian became giants, they were going to die or have all of their marks stripped. I really didn’t think they were have a happy ending. I mean, I’m happy they did but, it just doesn’t make sense. Also, I was not expecting Emma and Julian to become giants. Was it only me who imagined them as the Green Giant from the frozen vegetables thingy? Haha, yeah, just me.
I did really like how we saw so many perspectives of the battle. It made for a really good battle scene, but I guess I was a bit underwhelmed by the entire ending of this book.
THAT EPILOGUE? I was kind of expecting to get an epilogue similar to the one in Clockwork Princess. In Clockwork Princess, we get closure and I felt satisfied with the entire story but THE QOAAD EPILOGUE? I’m unsettled and I have to wait until around 2022 FOR ANSWERS. My heart will be unsettled for about 4 years. Okay. Cool.
Just the fact that this whole situation is coming full circle back to TMI but with it being more complex, is making me so tired of these assholes coming back to fuck shit up. Let these children be, goddamn it. 
I seriously thought I would feel at ease when I finished QOAAD but I don’t. That’s the one thing that bothers me. This book is so big yet we have SO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS AND LOOSE ENDS. Please fucking yell at me if this was also the situation for COHF because it’s been a hot minute since I’ve read it.
Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed some aspect of this even if it’s complete shit.
13 notes · View notes
khaleesiofalicante · 3 years
Text
Jessa Wedding - Favorite Bits
Max has a lil werewolf friend called Eliza dkjshfkjshfkd
Malec’s pillowcase is ivory colored. I stan.
MAGNUS IS DOING DREAM MAGIC. HOLY SHIT.
OMG THE WEDDING IS HAPPENING IN A DREAM SDFKJHFKSFHKDFGHD AND IT’S AT BLACKFRIARS I CANNOT HANDLE THIS!!!!
Tessa is wearing gray pyjamas with white rabbits on them to her wedding and I think it’s iconic. 
“I would marry you if you were wearing a barrel.” - JEM PLEASE DON’T 
Alec kissed Magnus on his forehead—being slightly shorter than Magnus, he had to pull Magnus down a bit to do it, which Magnus didn’t mind, at all.- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHELPHHHHHHHHHHH
“So let me get this straight,” Alec said. - I don’t think you can, buddy.
Church attending Jessa wedding is the best thing ever.
Awww Jocelyn is painting again :)
LIVIA IS HERE OMFG SOMEBODY HOLD ME
EMMA AND CLARY ARE THE SAME HEIGHT LMAO
Max sitting on Alec’s shoulders and telling a story to Haline - SOFTNESS
KADIR IS MARYSE’S PLUS ONE TO THE WEDDING AND MAGNUS DID THAT HE SHIPS KADIR X MARYSE YAAAAAAASSSSSSS
Silent brothers are attending the wedding and brother Enoch is here too. Omg this is the best party ever. 
Octavian was climbing Jace like a jungle gym. - cuteeeeeeeee
MAGNUS IS DOING THE CEREMONY TOO
Clary’s eyes were glistening. Jace reached into his pocket and offered her what looked like a handkerchief but was more likely a soft cloth for polishing blades. She gave a wry smile of recognition, and sniffled into it. - I WOULD DIE FOR THIS SWORD BOY. I REALLY WOULD. 
THE RING SAYS MIZPAH - OMG THE THROWBACK AND THE FEELS. 
Magnus noted that Alec was looking very foxy in his Armani suit - MAGNUS CALLED ALEX FOXY!!!!
Clary had her arm draped over Emma’s shoulders, and Jace was arguing with Simon about how to properly tie a necktie. Tiberius and Drusilla were watching this argument as though it were a tennis match. Julian had lifted Octavian up so he could look down at the river flowing by beneath. Isabelle was joking with Livia, who was giving Max a piggyback ride. - I MISSED THE BLACKTHORNS!!!!!!!!!!!
MARK AND KIERAN MADE IT TOO OMG
He glanced over and saw Tessa and Jem still standing by the railing. There was a shimmer beside them, at the edge of the bridge, and the hair on the back of Magnus’ neck rose - NOBODY FUCKING TOUCH ME WILL MADE IT TO THE WEDDING AND I AM EMO
BRB CRYING.
211 notes · View notes
livsty · 5 years
Text
Tumblr media
make me choose: @tiberiusblacktorn asked: thule livvy or real livvy?
“When your twin leaves the earth you live on, it never turns the same way again: the weight of their soul is gone, and everything is off balance. The world rocks under your feet like an unquiet sea. I can't tell you it gets easier. But it does get steadier; you learn how to live with the new rocking of the new earth, the way sailors gain sea legs. You learn. I promise.”
70 notes · View notes
emjenenla · 6 years
Text
I walk a lonely road, the only one that I have ever known [A Dark Artifices Fanfic]
(Don't know where it goes, but it's only me, and I walk alone.) When she learned her brother’s secrets, Livvy made herself a promise; she wasn’t going to let Julian do everything on his own anymore. Or that LoS AU where no one dies, but things are still messed up anyway.
Title: I walk a lonely road the only one that I have ever known
Author: Emjen Enla (Fanfiction)/emjenenla (Tumblr)
Teaser: (Don't know where it goes, but it's only me, and I walk alone.) When she learned her brother’s secrets, Livvy made herself a promise; she wasn’t going to let Julian do everything on his own anymore. Or that LoS AU where no one dies, but things are still messed up anyway.
Rating: PG-13/T
Canon/Timeline: Bookverse AU; set after Lord of Shadows sans all the major deaths
Dominant Characters: Livia Blackthorn, Julian Blackthorn, Tiberius Blackthorn, appearances by Drusilla Blackthorn, Kit Herondale, Octavian Blackthorn, Paige Ashdown, Mrs. Ashdown (who I named), mentions of Emma Carstairs, Mark Blackthorn, Cristina Rosales, Keiran, Helen Blackthorn, Aline Penhallow, Arthur Blackthorn, and others.
Pairings: Blackstairs (Emma/Julian), implications of Kitty (Kit/Ty), Mark/Cristina/Kieran and Helen/Aline
Warnings: honestly, I’m not sure if there’s much of anything. Angst, I guess.
Disclaimer: I don’t own the Shadowhunters universe or the song “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” by Green Day.
--
When Livia Blackthorn learned that everything she thought was being taken care of by her Uncle Arthur was actually taken care of by her older brother, Julian, she made herself one promise:
No more.
No more would Julian be left to take care of everything all on his own while his siblings lived the carefree lives of dumb kids. Livvy would be right there with him, helping as much as she possibly could.
She carried this promise etched into her soul as the Blackthorn siblings returned to LA where Uncle Arthur and their secrets awaited them, safe from the meddling of Zara Dearborn. Helen and Aline were re-banished to Wrangel Island, which meant that things were basically back to normal. Livvy tried to ignore how almost pathetically relieved Julian was.
Perhaps it was best if he was relieved instead of anything else, because things were only going mosty back to normal. The biggest difference was that Emma wasn’t returning to LA, and in Livvy and Ty’s opinions there was not a good explanation for why. Emma said that she was going to go on a tour of the different Institutes, but she wasn’t eighteen yet. Not to mention, when Shadowhunters went on their tours, they usually went with their parabatai. Emma was not taking Jules, she was taking Cristina, Mark and (though no one outright stated it) Kieran. It wasn’t right. When Ty had pointed this out to Jules he had just told him to leave it.
All this meant that not only were they back to their pre-return of Mark days, and Jules didn’t even have Emma to keep him grounded. Livvy was determined to pick up as much of the slack as she could.
The trouble lay in attempting to redraw the caretaker/cared-for lines that Julian had drawn after the deaths of their parents.
They had been back at the Institute for a couple days the morning that Livvy woke rather early to get a shower in before everyone else was up (at least in theory because she heard Ty and Kit talking quietly when she walked by Kit’s room to get a towel). While she showered she contemplated her game plan for the day. Firstly, would be to check in on how Tavvy was feeling. Dru and Tavvy had come down with the flu directly after returning to the Institute. Perhaps that wasn’t really surprising, Ty had said something about none of them having much immune system since they all pretty much hung out with each other and no one else. Everyone else seemed to be feeling fine, though, so far at least.
She climbed out of the shower and dressed before leaving her room. She ran across Dru on the way back to her room. The younger girl was looking slightly annoyed.
“What’s wrong?” Livvy asked.
“Tavvy was crying all night,” Dru grumbled. “It was so annoying.”
“He was crying?” Livvy asked. “Why didn’t you wake me? You can’t just let him cry!”
Dru’s face took on a look of afront. “For the record, I didn’t just ‘let him cry;’ I woke Jules.”
Of course, she had. Old habits die hard. “Dru…” Livvy groaned. “I thought we’d agreed not to bother Jules so much anymore.”
“You would have had to wake him anyway!” Dru argued, hands fisted on her hips. “Tavvy was really upset and only Jules can calm him down when he’s like that!”
Livvy wanted to keep arguing, but she really couldn’t. She’d asked Dru to start coming to her for stuff she normally would have gone to Julian for, but she hadn’t told her little sister about Uncle Arthur and who was really running the Institute. Livvy had wanted to, but she figured Dru had enough to deal with without having to handle all that stuff. The problem was that meant that Dru had no idea exactly how much Jules already had on his plate and didn’t see what was wrong with piling on one more little thing.
Not to mention, Dru probably had a point about Livvy not being able to calm Tavvy down…
“Where’s Jules now?” she asked instead of saying something she might regret.
Dru shrugged. “I dunno. I was trying to sleep,” and headed for the bathroom.
“Okay,” Livvy said, then remembered what she should have asked at the beginning of the conversation. “How are you feeling?”
“Much better,” Dru said. “I’m going to shower now.” and she was gone.
Livvy winced. This parent stuff was much harder than Julian made it look.
She crossed the hall and peaked into Tavvy’s room. The little boy was curled up in his blankets, fast asleep. Jules was nowhere in sight. She checked his room in the hopes that maybe he’d just gone back to bed, but that was empty too, though she was starting to realize that of course that was too much to hope for. She headed down the stairs towards the next most likely place to her find her big brother at this time of day: the kitchen.
As expected, Julian was there getting things ready to make breakfast. Livvy paused in the doorway for a moment to study him. He was moving slowly, and his shoulders were slumped. He looked tired. Livvy wondered if she’d have noticed that even a month ago and had to admit that she probably wouldn’t have.
“You know you didn’t have to stay up all night with Tavvy,” she said. “I could have done it.”
Jules jumped and whirled to face her. His face looked even more tired than his body language did. “Livvy!” he gasped. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Just a minute,” Livvy assured him.
“Do you need something?” Julian asked. She couldn’t tell if he’d forgotten what she’d said about Tavvy or if he was ignoring it. She wondered if the latter was something Jules would actually do. It didn’t seem like him, but she was realizing there were a lot of things Jules would do that she wouldn’t have expected.
“Dru said Tavvy was crying all night,” she said. “You didn’t need to stay up with him; I could have done that.”
“You couldn’t have calmed him down, Livs,” Jules said, not condescending, just stating the truth. “Not like he was last night.”
Livvy was a little insulted. Just because Julian wasn’t deliberately trying to put her down didn’t mean that he wasn’t inadvertently managing it. “Then at least go lie down now,” she half-snapped. “I can make breakfast.”
“It’s pancake day,” Julian said, raising an eyebrow.
Livvy felt her face fall. They made pancakes from scratch because Ty didn’t like the taste of the ones made from boxed mix. Livvy might have managed making boxed pancakes, but the homemade ones were something only Jules could do.
Jules turned back to the counter, no doubt assuming he’d gotten rid of her. Frustration boiled in Livvy’s stomach. Why couldn’t Julian realize that things were going to be different now that she and Ty knew the truth? Why did he seem to think that everything was going to go right back to the way it had been? Why did he think that Livvy would be content to let him care for her now that she knew he needed help? Why did he seem to think that her attempts to help would be easy to brush aside?
“Teach me then,” she said with perhaps a bit more force than would usually be used when asking to be taught to make pancakes.
Julian paused and looked back at her. “What?”
“Teach me how to make pancakes,” Livvy said as clearly as possible. “Then next time I can make them myself and you can rest. It doesn’t make sense for just one of us to know how to cook anyway.”
Jules stared at her, his face slightly slack with surprise. “You really want to learn?”
“Do you not want to teach me?” Livvy asked, putting her hands on her hips. She figured that if he wanted to argue he would back down in the face of such an accusation.
“I’ll teach you,” Jules said. “I’m just surprised. You’ve never mentioned wanting to learn to cook before.”
That’s because I didn’t realize that every single adult thing in this place was done by my seventeen-year-old brother before. Livvy thought, but what she said was, “Well, it’s time I learned.”
“Okay,” Julian raised a hand and bit on the corner of one of his nails. Livvy noticed blood welling up as he ripped part of the nail away from the quick. Her chest tightened. She’d always known Jules bit his nails (it was impossible to miss), but she’d never really noticed it before, and never really thought about how painful it must be.
“You should wash your hands,” Julian said, then he looked down and realized he was bleeding. “And I probably should too.”
So, they washed their hands. Livvy pretended not to notice Julian wince when soapy water got into the tiny wounds on his fingers. She wanted to say something but wasn’t sure what.
“Alright,” Jules said, oblivious to her dilemma. He crossed back to the counter, wrapping his still-bleeding finger in a napkin. “First we start with the dry ingredients.”
Jules helped her measure the dry ingredients and then the wet ones. Neither of them said anything that wasn’t related to pancakes until they were beginning to ladle the batter into the skillet.
“You know,” Livvy said, deciding it was time to reopen the previous conversation. “There’s really no reason why I couldn’t calm Tavvy when he cries. After all, you’re Tavvy’s brother not his dad, and I’m his sister.”
Julian paused and stood there a moment, his hands braced on the countertop, shoulders hunched, staring down at the granite.
“Jules?” Livvy asked after the silence had dragged on long enough to be uncomfortable.
The silence went on for a while longer, before Julian shifted and reached for the spatula without looking at her.
“Tavvy doesn’t remember Mom and Dad,” he said.
“What?” Livvy wasn’t sure she’d heard correctly. “What do you mean, he doesn’t remember them?”
“It’s not really that surprising,” Julian said flipping one of the pancakes to reveal a perfectly cooked, golden side. “He was basically a newborn when Mom died, and he was so little during the war.”
Jules sighed and drummed the handle of the spatula against the counter, staring up at the ceiling. “People are always saying that I’m Tavvy’s brother not his father, but they never seem to realize that I was the one who changed his diapers and bathed him and read him stories and cleaned his scraped knees. I’m the one he screams for when he wakes up in the middle of the night convinced the monsters are going to come back and get him too.”
Julian sighed and looked back down at the counter. “My relationship with Tavvy is different than my relationships with you, Ty and Dru. I do all sorts of parent stuff for you three, but you all remember Mom and Dad and know that this family dynamic is abnormal. I don’t think Tavvy does. To Tavvy, this is normal; this is how family is supposed to work,” he paused and brought his thumb up to his mouth, gripping the stubby nail between his teeth. “When Tavvy’s says ‘Jules,’ he’s literally saying ‘Daddy.’”
Livvy just stared at him. Every time she thought she’d finally grasped exactly how messed up her family was, she was bombarded with more. How much longer would this go on?
They lapsed into silence until footsteps sounded in the hall and came to a stop in the kitchen doorway.
“What are you doing?” Ty asked.
Livvy latched onto the distraction like a life raft. “Jules is teaching me to make pancakes,” she said turning to face her twin.
Ty’s face lit up. “Cool! Can I flip some, Jules?”
Julian’s face creased in a gentle smile that Livvy had always thought of as a big brother’s smile, but she now realized was probably actually a parent’s smile. “Sure,” he said. “Come over here, Ty.”
Livvy stood back and used the time Julian’s attention was focused on Ty to think of something to say.
“Jules,” she said after several minutes. “Maybe we should tell the Clave about Uncle Arthur.”
Julian’s shoulders tensed, but he didn’t look at her. “We can’t do that, Livs.”
“Why can’t we?” Ty asked, his gaze focused on the pancakes. “If the Clave puts someone else in charge, then you won’t have to do so much.”
“That would only make our situation worse,” Julian said.
“How could that possible make our situation worse?” Livvy asked, able to hear the growing frustration in her voice.
“The only reason we’re allowed to live here together is because the Clave is under the impression that Arthur is in charge and raising us,” Julian said, he still wouldn’t look at either of them. “If they figure out that he hasn’t been, they’ll take the Institute away from him and split us up.”
“Why would they do that?” Ty asked, flipping a pancake very precisely out of the pan and onto a serving plate.
“If no one wanted us after the Dark War, there’s no reason to think anyone would want us now,” Julian said, he sounded bitter.
“What about Great-Aunt Marjorie?” Ty asked, which showed exactly how desperate he was; he hated Great-Aunt Marjorie.
“She likes it when we visit every once and awhile, so she can pretend to be a doting aunt,” Julian said. “She doesn’t want us living with her.” He went to ladle more batter into the pan, but Livvy took the measuring cup from him and did it herself.
“That’s really frustrating,” she said. “It’s not like she’d need to do much for us.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Jules said. He gone to sit down at the table and it looked like he was fighting the urge to put his head down on the tabletop. For the first time, Livvy noticed that he was a bit too pale on top of the tiredness.
“But we can’t keep this up forever,” she said. “Someone’s going to find out eventually.”
“She’s right,” Ty said. “Now that Malcom can’t make that potion, it’s only a matter of time before someone needs to see Uncle Arthur and we can’t provide him.”
“We don’t have to hold out forever,” Julian said. He didn’t look up, though he might have been studying the grain of the table. “Just until next year.”
“What happens next year?” Ty asked.
“I turn eighteen,” Jules said. “Once that happens I’ll be able to formally apply to become head of the Institute. The Clave gave Clary and Jace the New York Institute at nineteen, and I’m sure I can make a convincing case. Then I can openly run this place and become you four’s official guardian.”
Livvy imagined most seventeen-year-olds would sound excited at the idea of being head of an Institute, but Jules just sounded resigned and exhausted.
“Are you okay, Jules?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he said, watching vacantly as Ty flipped the pancakes.
“You’re sure?”
“Just tired,” Jules said. He rubbed his eyes and then pinched the bridge of his nose. “And I think I might be coming down with Tavvy and Dru’s flu.”
“Do you need to lie down?” Livvy asked even though she was pretty sure Jules wouldn’t admit to needing to rest even if he did.
“It’s really just a headache,” Julian said, meeting expectations. “I’m fine.”
“Jules…” Livvy said trying to figure out what to say to have the right affect.
“I’ll take a nap after breakfast,” Jules said with a small smile meant to comfort her. “Which reminds me; I’d better go make sure Dru and Tavvy are up. Where’s Kit, Ty?”
“Shower,” Ty said, studying Julian out of the corners of his eyes.
“Alright,” Jules said. “I’ll be back, then.” He heaved himself to his feet and left the room.
Livvy and Ty watched him go. “He’s not okay, is he?” Ty asked.
“If he’s getting that flu he won’t be in a couple hours,” Livvy said.
Ty nodded, biting his lip, but didn’t say anything.
~~~~
They had finished making the last of pancakes by the time Julian came back with Dru and Tavvy. Kit trailed in after a couple minutes, no doubt not wanting to seem like he was coming to breakfast when he was told. Sometimes Livvy found his attitude a little tiring, and she could only imagine how Jules felt about it because all his attempts at being caretaker rubbed all Kit’s authority issues the wrong way.
They all settled down at the table and dug into their food. They were part way through their breakfast when the doorbell rang. Jules, who’d been picking at his food and looking vaguely nauseous, lifted his head, eyes wide.
“Who’s that?” Dru asked.
“Can’t be anything good,” Livvy said. “Is there anyone we would actually like to see who would ring the bell?”
“No one who’s likely to show up anytime soon,” Julian said pushing his chair back from the table. “It’s probably someone here for Arthur.”
“Should I go get him?” Dru asked, so earnest and completely blind to the real situation.
“No, you, Tavvy and Kit finish eating,” Jules levered himself slowly to his feet and massaged his temples. “Livvy, Ty, can you come with me for a minute?”
Livvy and Ty followed him out into the hall. Julian didn’t say anything until they were out of earshot of the kitchen, then he stopped and turned back to them, “Can you two go up and wait by the attic stairs?” he asked. “I don’t think Uncle Arthur will come down--he never has before--but he’s been in a weird mood since the Cohort was here. Can you two just make sure he stays upstairs where he can’t contradict anything I say?”
“Sure,” Ty said.
“Good,” Julian said. His face had lost a lot of its color and he was actually looking sick. Dru and Tavvy hadn’t declined this fast and Livvy wondered if Jules had lied about how long he’d been feeling bad when they’d talked about it earlier. The thought that he might lie about something like that hurt, but she no longer thought it was something he wouldn’t do.
“What are you going to do?” Livvy asked.
“I’ll tell them that Arthur Blackthorn is out on business or something,” Julian said, he sounded so shockingly casual about the idea that Livvy couldn’t quite wrap her mind around it. “Then I’ll hope that whatever they need done ‘Arthur Blackthorn’ can do by mail,” he made air quotes when he said, “Arthur Blackthorn.” Then the bell rang again, and he hurried off towards the door without another word.
Livvy and Ty stood side by side for a moment. “Can you handle Uncle Arthur alone?” she asked.
He nodded. “Sure, go with Jules.”
Livvy nodded and darted off down the hall. She caught up with her older brother just as he reached the front door. Julian looked at her in surprise. “Ty’s keeping an eye on Uncle Arthur,” she said before he could speak.
He nodded and opened the door just as the bell rang again.
Linnett Ashdown was standing on the porch with her daughter, Paige. Mrs. Ashdown gave them a friendly smile, but Paige looked like she was judging them. Livvy was suddenly acutely aware that she was wearing a tee-shirt with Captain America’s shield on it, even though Shadowhunters weren’t supposed to know who that was, and Jules was wearing an old navy-blue hoodie that looked like it probably needed to be washed. Livvy clenched her fists and her teeth. She’d never really like Paige Ashdown, but after her horrible prank on Ty, Livvy hated her.
“Hello,” Julian said with a friendly smile. If he was thinking about how Paige had treated Ty, there was no way to see it on his face. “What can we do for you?”
“I’d like to speak to Arthur,” Mrs. Ashdown said. “I know it’s early, but Francis and I have patrol later and I wanted to get this done first. Is your uncle available?”
Livvy’s stomach clenched even though the list reasons someone could be here that didn’t involve Uncle Arthur were slim. Julian’s pale face morphed into the perfect expression of guiltless apology. “He’s out of town right now on Clave business,” he said. “Is there something we could help you with instead?”
“I’m afraid not,” Mrs. Ashdown said with a kind smile, she was so different from Paige who looked like the news of Uncle Arthur’s “business” was a personal slight. “I wanted to ask Arthur if Paige could shadow him in his work running the Institute. She’s interested in the management side of Shadowhunter life and we thought that Arthur might be able to help her get some experience.
That was something that Julian couldn’t do. If Paige came to in the Institute, there would be no way to hide Uncle Arthur’s condition from her. The Clave would find out.
She glanced at Jules. He was chalky pale aside from a splotch of red on each cheek. Fever. He had definitely been sicker than “just a headache” when they’d been cooking earlier. He coughed into the sleeve of his hoodie before he replied.
“I’m not sure how Uncle Arthur will feel about that,” he said. Perhaps his smile was slightly strained but Livvy didn’t think either of the Ashdowns would notice. “He’s very particular about how things are run. He doesn’t even let us watch him work most of the time. I’ll ask him, though, maybe he’ll change his mind.”
Paige sniffed and opened her mouth as if she meant to say something, but Mrs. Ashdown stopped her with a hand on her arm. “It would be great if you could ask him, Julian,” she said. “When will he be home?”
“Tomorrow, maybe the day after depending on how things go,” Julian said so smoothly that Livvy almost didn’t believe he was lying. “I’ll be sure to ask him as soon as he gets back.”
“Oh, don’t rush him,” Mrs. Ashdown said. “Tell him to get back to us whenever is convenient.”
“Okay,” Julian said. “Thank you, Mrs. Ashdown.”
“You’re welcome,” she said then reached out and lay a hand on Julian’s cheek. Julian stiffened visibly. “You’re running a temperature,” Mrs. Ashdown told him. “You should rest. Do you have someone here watching you all?”
“Our tutor, Diana,” Julian said. Another lie. Diana was off wherever she was when she wasn’t with them, but Mrs. Ashdown didn’t know that.
“Alright,” she said with a gentle smile. “Tell her that I said you should take it easy today.”
“I’m fine,” Julian said.
“Don’t be stubborn,” she said with a smile. “Go to bed and we’ll stop darkening your doorstep.”
The Ashdowns said their goodbyes and left. Julian closed the door and leaned against it, his head thrown back, breathing quietly through parted lips. He looked exhausted. Livvy took his arm, Mrs. Ashdown was right about the fever; she could feel his heat through his shirt sleeve. “Come on, Jules. Why don’t you take that nap now?”
Julian’s eyelids were fluttering closed and he looked like he was seconds away from sinking to the floor. “I need to clean up the kitchen.”
Livvy adjusted her grip on his arm and coaxed him into a fully standing position. “The rest of us can handle that. You should rest before you pass out.”
Julian sighed but let her lead him up the Institute’s stairs. When they reached the floor with their bedrooms they met Ty coming back from the attic. “Are they gone?” he asked. “Who was there. What did they want?”
“Ashdowns,” Julian was rubbing at his temples again. “They want Paige to shadow Uncle Arthur.”
“She can’t do that,” Ty said. “She’ll find out.”
“I know,” Jules said. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll handle it.” He coughed into the crook of his elbow again. Livvy felt him sway and tightened her grip on his arm.
“Jules is going to lie down for a while,” she told Ty. “When everyone’s done with breakfast can you start on the dishes? Make Kit, Dru and Tavs help you. I’ll be down in a couple minutes.”
“Okay,” Ty said and headed for the stairs.
Livvy helped Julian to his bedroom and found a pair of pajama pants for him. She didn’t bother trying to convince him to take the hoodie off because he was shivering like he was cold even though he quite obviously wasn’t.
After he’d changed, Jules sunk down onto his bed. For once his face showed exactly what he was feeling, and he looked so incredibly thankful to lie down it brought tears to Livvy’s eyes. She looked away before he could notice and found herself looking at the mural he’d painted on the wall. She’d looked at it hundreds of times before, but she’d never noticed how sad it was. She turned pointedly away; she did not need to learn even more painful information about her older brother, at least not right now.
She pulled the blankets over Julian only to realize that he was watching her with a slightly perplexed look. “What?” she asked.
“Why are you suddenly so into the idea of helping me take care of everyone?” he asked. “It used to be like pulling teeth to get you to even keep an eye on Tavvy for an hour or two.”
Livvy felt her face heat up. She was ashamed of all the times she’d complained about something Julian had asked her to do, now that she realized that all she’d been doing was piling more work onto her overworked older brother.
“I know what’s actually going on now,” she said trying to sound as grown-up as possible. “It seems wrong to just let you do everything now that you don’t actually have to hide anything from me anymore. Besides, you don’t even have Emma anymore; you can’t be completely alone.”
Julian’s face tightened into a complicated expression that Livvy couldn’t define. “Yeah,” he said.
“Why did she leave?” Livvy asked. “You two are parabatai, you’re supposed to go on tour together. Why didn’t she wait until you were both eighteen? I know it wasn’t because of her break-up Mark, because he went with her.”
Julian sighed. He wasn’t looking at her, but that strange expression was still on his face. “It wouldn’t matter how long she waited,” he said. “I wouldn’t be able to go. I have an Institute to run and I will for probably the next thirty or forty years.” He really, really didn’t sound enthusiastic at the idea of running the Institute. Livvy wondered what he would rather do instead.
“So that’s why she went gallivanting around the world with Cristina, Mark and Kieran and left you here to hold down the fort?” Livvy asked. She didn’t want to be mad at Emma, but she found that thought filled her with some resentment anyway.
“Not…” Julian pulled a face. “Entirely.”
“Then why else?” Livvy asked.
Julian fiddled with the edge of one of blankets, chewing on the fingers of the other hand. He was obviously debating something. How much of the truth to tell her, probably. She knew he was contemplating telling the truth, because if he was lying he wouldn’t have spent so much time planning what he was going to say. Jules lied effortlessly.
Just when Livvy was beginning to think that he wasn’t going to say anything at all, he cleared his throat and said, “Emma and I…” he took a sharp breath and then mumbled so quietly that she could barely hear him. “Emma and I love each other.”
Livvy wasn’t sure why that was something to get so worked up about. “Of course, you do,” she said. “You’re parabatai.”
“Not like that,” Jules was still staring fixedly at the blanket. He would not even glance at her. “Emma and I are in love with each other.”
It took a second to sink in. “Oh,” Livvy said. Everything she’d ever assumed about Jules and Emma’s relationship reordered itself in her mind. They had always been close, even for parabatai, and Jules had never liked Emma’s boyfriends, even the nice ones. Even when Livvy had thought about setting Jules up with Cristina, the match hadn’t felt quite right. Now she realized that it was because on some level, she’d known that Emma was the perfect girl for Jules. “Oh,” she repeated.
Jules still hadn’t looked up, she was pretty sure she saw tears in his eyes. She hadn’t seen Jules cry since before their father had died. “I’m sorry, Livvy,” he said. “You must be so ashamed of me.”
“What?” Livvy asked. “No! Of course not. Why would I be ashamed of you? You’re Julian!”
“I’m in love with my parabatai,” Jules looked up at her now. There really were tears in his eyes. It was terrifying. “How could you not be disgusted by that?”
“Why should I be?” Livvy said. “You’re my brother. I love you. You and Emma would be perfect for each other.”
“‘Would be,’” Julian repeated, sounding a little bitter. “Becoming Emma’s parabatai was the biggest mistake of my life, and I knew it was a mistake when I was making it. Emma doesn’t know that, but it’s true. I never really wanted to be her parabatai--I think even back then I knew on some level that my feelings for her weren’t platonic--but it was right after the Dark War, and we were a bunch of orphans. The Clave was going to separate us, and we needed each other. Becoming parabatai was the only way to make sure Emma could stay with us.”
He spoke so quickly the words tripped over each, like he’d been waiting a lifetime to get the words out, to explain. Livvy tried to choke back a sob but failed. Before Jules could react, she grabbed him by the hoodie, dragged him into a sitting position and hugged him with all her strength.
After a moment, he wrapped his arms around her and hugged back. She could feel the heat of his fever radiating into her; his face burned like fire where it touched her neck. Still, this embrace was still something special, because for the first time in her life, she was holding Julian not the other way around.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered into his hair. “I’m so, so sorry.” She wasn’t even sure what she was apologizing for. She had realized in the last few weeks that Julian’s life was a fallout zone of mistakes and wrongs and injuries that most people didn’t even see through his facade enough to notice. She wanted to make things better for him, but she didn’t know how.
Eventually, they pulled apart. Livvy had a million more questions, but Jules was obviously exhausted. He was sick and needed rest more than anything else. They could deal with Livvy’s myriad questions at a later date. She eased him back onto his pillows and tucked the blankets around him. Then she went to the bathroom and got a wet cloth for his forehead.
Neither of them said another word, but Livvy sat with him until she was sure he was asleep. When he was deeply asleep, she let herself quietly out of his room and did what she always did when she was upset or needed to think.
She went to find Ty.
~~~~
Ty and Kit were sitting on Ty’s bed. Ty had a book open on his lap and was rambling about something with a content smile on his face. Kit looked up when she opened the door and his face pinched with annoyance. “There you are!” he said. “You could have helped us with all those dishes.”
“I was talking to Jules,” Livvy said. “He’s not feeling well.”
“You know that means the three of us are eventually going to get that flu too,” Ty said turning a page of his book.
Kit threw himself violently back onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. “Great,” he said. “Just what I need.”
“That’s what happens when you have a lot of siblings,” Livvy said. “If one of us gets sick, eventually we all do.”
She thought she was doing a decent job of sounding like nothing was on her mind, but Kit pushed himself up on his elbows, one eyebrow raised. “Is something wrong?” he asked.
Ty lifted his head. “Livvy?”
“It’s a long story,” Livvy said. “Don’t worry about it, Kit.” She didn’t say anything to Ty. She would tell him about Jules and Emma, she couldn’t not, but Jules had taken her into confidence by telling her his secret. He’d no doubt assumed she’d tell her twin when he’d decided to trust her, but he probably hadn’t assumed she’d tell Kit. Kit was extremely nice and Livvy trusted him in most things, but he was still an outsider and there was no reason for him to know Julian’s secrets. She would get Ty alone later and fill him in.
Kit was still looking at her skeptically, his lips pulled to the side as he studied her. She needed to change the subject.
“What were you two talking about?” she asked.
Ty explained the conversation and Kit eventually got into it as well, though he was obviously trying to make it seem like he wasn’t actually interested in whatever they had been talking about. Livvy wasn’t sure why he bothered and at that moment, didn’t particularly care. She’d figured that she’d just wait to get Ty alone and then tell him, but now she knew she couldn’t. The new information about Emma and Jules was eating a hole in her stomach. She needed to talk to Ty now; she needed to get Kit to leave.
“Kit,” she said. “I think I hear Tavvy calling. Can you go see what he wants?”
Kit looked affronted. “Why me? Why can’t you do it?”
“You’re not interested in this anyway,” Livvy said. “I am. Why should I be the one to go?”
Kit’s mouth opened and closed as he grasped how his feigned nonchalance had backfired on him. Livvy watched him try to decide which was worse; going to check on Tavvy or admitting that he’d only been pretending not to be interested. After a minute, pride won out and he got to his feet. “Fine,” he sighed dramatically. “I’ll be back.”
He left the room. Livvy climbed to her feet, crossed to the door and locked it behind him. There, he was gone.
She turned back to find Ty looking at her in confusion. “I didn’t hear Tavvy calling,” he said.
“He’s not,” Livvy admitted.
“Then why did you say he was?”
“I need to talk to you about something. Without Kit.”
Ty bit his lip, looking uncomfortable. “Did Kit really think that what I was talking about was boring?”
“No,” Livvy reassured him. “He’s really interested, but ashamed to admit it because he thinks it will ruin tough guy reputation. I just needed to get rid of him for a while.”
“Okay,” Ty said slowly. “Why?”
Livvy went back to the bed. She sat down across from him and sighed. “Jules and I were talking about some pretty heavy stuff,” she said quietly. “He told me something really important about him and Emma…”
21 notes · View notes
Note
William Herondale, Livia Blackthorn and Tessa Gray for the character thing
Ahh yes, yes and yes but you know me too well. BUT I WOULD DIE FOR THOSE CHARACTERS
4 notes · View notes
greekinggeeking · 7 years
Text
Livia Blackthorn May Survive
Livia Blackthorn:
* Randomly asked Kit for her first kiss just because she’s never had one before, then asked to be just friends.
* Made sure that Kit wouldn’t leave Ty and would be his friend.
* Specifically wanted to tell Julian that they all knew about Uncle Author on her own just so she could also tell him that he was the reason she wanted to run an institute when she was older. 
What if Livia Blackthorn knew she was going to die?
I realize that this could all be coincidental. I’m not saying that she isn’t dead. All I am saying is that the Blackthorns are pretty resourceful and sneaky. 
I mean Dru hid a boy in her room without anyone finding out. Ty and Kit used a portal in the middle of the night without anyone noticing.
And, she also asked Kit if he would always be her friend. Hers. Not her and Ty. Even Kit noticed this later. Personally, I believe that when someone asks for friendship confirmation it’s because they know something bad is going to happen… 
Here’s my Theory:
Livia knew she was going to die. When she was wounded by that potion and Magnus saved her, she told him (at some point when they were alone, like when Ty couldn’t stand to see her like that anymore) that she thought that would be it and that she didn’t know how to explain it but she just knew she was going to die soon. So, because Magnus is Magnus, he offers to help her. 
Now let me direct your attention to Clockwork Prince, chapter 5. This chapter talks about a very powerful spell book called the Book of White. If we’re going off of book names and the Black Book is a no no necromancy spell book, then the Book of White sounds not so evil unless used for that purpose. The Book of White, and I quote, “Specializes in binding and unbinding spells- tying the soul to the body, or untying it”. In Clockwork Princess, Magnus spends a whole night in the London Institutes’ library where the Book of White is kept looking for a cure for Jem. Who’s to say Magnus didn’t come across this book that night? And maybe he remembered this when he helped Livia. They were at the London Institute after all…
So let’s say Magnus managed to bind her spirit with something (if I had to guess it would be and item that Ty always carries with him. Or possibly tie her soul to his since they are twins? Maybe that is part of why Ty passed out and may explain what her last words to Ty were. Or maybe her soul was tied to the object she was killed with. Which would be convenient for her because who’s going to throw away any part of the Mortal Sword?) And let’s also say that Magnus managed to put some sort of spell to preserve her body (or Julian won’t let them burn it because it is very fair to assume he might try the spell that brought Annabel back on Livvy by using Annabel as the Blackthorn sacrifice). But Magnus passed out and even Alec said that he was out longer than usual. So what if Magnus fell into a coma? Then as it would be, the only two people who knew that Livvy could be brought back are dead and in a coma.
This would mean that throughout QoA&D Magnus is in a coma and won’t wake up until they have defeated the Unseele King and whatever is making the warlocks sick is undone. This all serves a very important purpose: Character Development. Because of Livvys death, the characters are going to be pushed do things they’ve never done before. 
Overall, it just wouldn’t make sense for Livia to stay dead. When you look at the two primary characters (Emma and Julian) purposes, Emma’s central point is to get justice for her parents murder and to heal and to learn how to carry on once she gets that justice. Julian’s is to just have his whole family together again.
Also, a final personal opinion: A character has to be killed and stay dead for the majority of a book for me to believe that they are actually dead. Livia was killed on the last three pages. Heck even Jem wasn’t actually dead in Clockwork Princess, Cassie just led us to believe he was for a good portion of the end of the book. 
You can dispute this all you want, but we have two years until the final book and this is what I’m going with.
EDIT: So the book is being released next month and after reading the comments about how CC said for sure that Livvy is dead I just want to point out that that is exactly what I am saying, I’m just theorizing a loophole for her to come back. I have admittedly not seen or read the interviews where she has stated that Livvy is dead dead, but it’s all in how she worded it, isn’t it?
1K notes · View notes
clockworkopera · 6 years
Text
The next two chapters from my Dark Artifices fanfic, Rise From the Ashes are up. You can find it here. I had a scene between Helen and Dru before Livvy’s memorial which I thought turned out really sweet and sad, so I included it below for those interested!
A soft knock rapped Dru’s door. “Dru?” she heard Helen’s softer voice. “Can I come in?”
Dru sighed and went to answer the door. “Livia’s memorial,” Helen stuttered a little, the words difficult, and stuck in Helen’s throat. Dru always thought of Helen as stately and refined—unflappable. It made her seem more human and relatable to Dru that she was struggling just as much as the rest of them with Livvy’s death.
Helen cleared her throat and started again. “I went through the storage trunks in the basement,” Helen said. “Dad’s old mourning clothes should fit Julian—he’s grown so tall. But I found Mom’s too,” she said handing the folded clothes to Dru. “I think hers will fit you.”
Dru felt her eyebrows raise in disbelief as she hesitantly took the folded clothes from Helen. Dru was taller than Helen—she’d always grown faster than her age, both up and out. Helen was so petite and dainty, elegantly beautiful with platinum hair, Dru felt like a lumbering oaf when standing next to her. While she was touched that Helen would even spare the time to think of her, a part of her was really angry and wanted to shout—Don’t you understand that even though their adult clothes, they won’t fit me either!
It wasn’t that she was even really angry at Helen, or the stupid clothes, she was just angry at everything—the unfairness of it all.
Dru knew that Livvy would have understood, wouldn’t have blamed her for not having anything appropriate for the memorial; but Helen was perfect—there was no way she could ever relate to Dru’s struggles. “Who do you think Mom was mourning?” she asked, just to change the subject so she wouldn’t burst into tears. She didn’t know how she was going to get through the memorial today.
“She went to the Academy at the same time as Valentine,” Helen said. “She had to have lost people she cared about during the Uprising.”
“What about her parents?” Dru asked. “I asked Julian, but he didn’t know much about them.”
Helen sat down next to her on the bed. “I’m sorry Dru, I don’t know much about them, either. I know they died before Mark and I came to the Institute. She never really spoke about them, at least not to me.”
“We can look up their names in the genealogical records, but that’s all we’ll ever know about them—just names. They lived whole lives and we’ll never know anything about them. Even great-aunt Marjorie either didn’t know, or wouldn’t tell. And I barely remember Mom,” she whispered.
Helen brushed a stray curl behind Dru’s ear and leaned in to prop up Dru’s drooping body.  “I do remember Mom. She didn’t give birth to me, but she always treated me as a daughter of her blood—same with Mark. We’ll talk of her, and I will tell you as many stories as I can remember. Maybe we can trade,” Helen said shyly, “for I missed a great deal of Livia’s life, and I would know more of her too.”
Dru’s lower lip trembled, and she just nodded, tracing the embroidered runes on the cuffs of the clothes. “Why don’t you try these on?” Helen urged. Dru blinked back tears, but couldn’t think of a way to avoid it, so she took a deep breath and headed toward her bathroom.
She set the clothes on the sink and looked at herself in the mirror. Pudgy with reddened eyes from an earlier crying fit, she felt so ashamed. How was she going to go out there and embarrass herself with how ridiculous she looked stuffing herself into too tight clothing. Maybe she didn’t have to—maybe she could just refold them and say the her they didn’t work. It would still leave her with nothing to wear today.
She sighed, deciding this needed to be faced, like one would slaughter a demon—with courage in the face of terror. She pulled her pants and t-shirt off and readjusted her bra, trying to comfortable with her body.
She pulled on the pants first and was surprised how comfortable they were and was astonished the waistband was even a little loose. Maybe that was because Mom was always pregnant, but no—Helen said they were from her time at the Academy, and that was before she married her dad. She wiggled a little and the pants actually fell to her hips, enough so that she may even need a belt to hold it up. She looked in the mirror and saw saucer eyes of disbelief staring back at her.
Dru shook out the jacket, her fingers running over fabric, straightening it out. It was big enough to almost look like man’s. She pulled it on, and again it was a bit loose on the shoulders, but the cuffs of the sleeves hit her wrist just where they were supposed to. She buttoned it along the side and was dismayed to find the chest area had plenty of room to grow.
An almost hysterical laugh bubbled up as she wiped away a stream of tears. Did this mean her boobs had plenty more room to keep growing too? Raziel help her.
Her mom had been big like her. She wondered if Great-Aunt Marjorie had ever called her mother fat. Blinking back tears, she fumbled with the clasp of the locket around her neck. It was Livvy’s and Julian had given it to Dru after—
She sucked in a breath, not wanting to think about it. Her thumbnail popped it open and she saw two small pictures. Her mother on one side, her father on the other. She looked at the tiny oval image of her mother, smiling eyes in a face she guessed could be considered round.
When she finally came out Helen was looking at her spread of movie posters. It was not how most teenage girls decorated their room, but she was a Blackthorn—she suspected none of them would ever be normal.
Dru wanted to ask—Mom was big like me? But to ask that question seemed degrading and she wouldn’t ever do that to her mom. Obviously, Eleanor Blackthorn had not been a glamourous petite faerie, like Lady Nerissa. And still her father had loved her, married her, had a boatload of children with her. Dru struggled to reshuffle her memories, because that hadn’t been what little Dru remembered of her mother. She remembered her mother smiling and laughing at the dinner table as her father made her laugh, smelling like good food in the kitchen, and night time stories and lullabies. Actually, a lot of the stuff Julian did for them—that must be where he got his nurturing from.
Dru had always felt like an outsider in the family, between being at an odd age and an odd size. She knew she was a Blackthorn because of her hair and eyes, but otherwise she sometimes felt like the stork had made a mistake in the family delivery. But, maybe…she was like her mom.
Helen could see the fresh deluge of tears, but before she could ask Dru burst out in a half sob, “I didn’t think I would find mourning clothes to fit—“ she sniffled. “They fit perfectly. It’s like she gave me a gift today. She and dad—they’re taking good care of Livvy, right?”
Helen blinked back her own tears and nodded. “I don’t know what happens to us after we die Dru, but I do believe that love binds us together like threads.  I believe so because I know how much they loved all of us. I remember when you were born you were so tiny. It’s easy to forget how small newborns are. Ty and Livvy were only two, but they seemed giants compared to you. You cried, and Ty didn’t like that at all. Livvy kept shushing him and she was impatient to finally get to hold you—because even back then Jules had dibs and poor mom, having to play mediator, imparting vast wisdom and logic on a four-year-old and two-year-old twins. She liked to sing, do you remember that?”
Dru nodded. She was six when her mother died. She’d been kept in her own room away from everyone for what seemed forever—but was probably only the one night when her mother had finally passed. She’d said goodbye, but she’d thought of it more as a goodnight and didn’t understand when she went to go see her mom the next day, why everyone was so sad. Or what death meant—only that she was never going to see her mom again.
It was the first time she remembered Ty really rocking—it hadn’t bothered her, but her father had kept getting frustrated with her brother. Ty hadn’t talked for a long time after that, either. She remembered her father being angry about that too, and how protective Livvy had been with Ty, even then. She remembered how upset her dad had been with everyone. Jules had been too—the first time his world had been upturned. She remembered that Emma hugged her back then, and said she’d make sure Jules was okay. Even now she bet that was just what Emma was doing.
“I’m worried about Julian,” she said confiding in Helen.
Helen sighed. “It’s only been a few years I’ve been away, but I hardly recognize who he is, the man he’s become. I asked him to take care of you and I know he’s done a good job. Dru, I didn’t know about Arthur or what Julian had to struggle with. I thought Arthur was taking better care of you, and I’m sorry I didn’t know. I couldn’t have come, but Aline would have. Nonetheless we are both here for you now.”
“But then you would have been without Aline,” Dru said thoughtfully. “That’s like Julian being without Emma. It was better this way, what Julian did. Maybe it was harder, but better.”
“When did you get so wise?” Helen fidgeted and looked uncomfortable. “It is not just Livia’s life that I have missed, but yours as well. I would like to know more of you too.”
Dru felt the warm sincerity brimming from Helen.
16 notes · View notes