#i would die for luke but brendan can go away | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jgreenfeld · 4 years

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meet the muse;

10 FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

1. Harry Potter

Your obsession with Harry freakin' Potter is a timeless affair. You read the first book tucked into a corner on the a tour bus, musicians fiddling with their instruments all around you, but you were lost to them. You were too busy learning spells, playing Quidditch and fancying yourself Mrs Jessica Potter. Sure, a lot of your friends have outgrown their Harry Potter phase, but you don't think that'll ever happen to you. He was never just a character to you, he was a comfort when you were recovering from your illness and figuring out what life was going to be like without being able to hear things from now on. You lost quite a number of things after the meningitis hit, but you never lost Harry. He taught you how to be brave and true and a little bit sassy, and you're always going to love him.

2. Atticus Finch

Your father is a mechanic, not a lawyer. He wears sports jerseys instead of tweed suits. But he's still the closest thing to Atticus Finch that this world is going to get - in your eyes anyway. Your dad was the first one to introduce you to To Kill A Mockingbird. He panicked and shoved his own copy into your hands after you finished the fifth Harry Potter book and spent three straight hours wailing over Sirius. Of course, TKAM wasn't going to be something that necessarily cheered you up, but you were hooked from the get-go. Atticus taught you how to be just and fair. He taught you to think about what it would be like to walk a mile in someone else's shoes. He taught you valuable life lessons that you still carry today, and even though it would be impossible to hope that everyone in the world could be more like him, you could at lease try to channel all that energy yourself. You like to think that he taught you how to be a better person.

3. Mark Watney

Mark Watney taught you that space is dangerous and terrifying and that it has the potential to be the very death of you. He taught you that it's vast and empty and nothing but a challenge. And it only made you love it even more. When your father picked up on your space obsession, right after your solar system model won first prize at the middle school science fair, he gave you a copy of The Martian. In all honesty, he had no clue what it was about but the name hinted that he was on the right path. You devoured it whole. Or rather... you spent the full night yelling at your book whenever something traumatic happened and Michelle fully attempted to smother you with a literal pillow just to get you to shut up. Mark Watney made you fall in love with space even more, and he kickstarted your desire to work for NASA one day. When you feel like you're never going to make it, you just need to look to him for a kick up the ass.

4. Gilbert Blythe

Gilbert Blythe is the very first love of your life. You understand that there's a high chance you’re not his type, because when he tugs on Anne's pigtails and calls her 'carrots', she hits him over the head with a slate and it's love at first sight for him because of that. If Gilbert Blythe ever tugged on your hair to get your attention, then you probably would have just decided to marry him right then and there. Still, what's not to love about him? He's kind and he's funny and he's smart and he cares about school. Perhaps you would be relationship goals based solely on the fact that you're a nerd and he's a nerd. But you'll never get to test that theory out, which is a shame. In the meantime, Gilbert is setting the standards for all other men and he's raised the bar to a whole other level.

5. Paddington Bear

Paddington Bear is the reason you demanded a duffle coat and red wellies at the age of six. He's the reason you wanted to travel to Darkest Peru whenever a family vacation was brought up. And he's the reason that you still unironically enjoy a marmalade sandwich, even to this day. Plus, he's cuddly and kind and the exact friend you think anyone should have. Honestly, you'd love to be someone's answer to Paddington Bear.

6. Matt Saracen

You're never going to be a football player and, to be quite honest, you never really want to be. You're tiny and any tackle would crush you in an instant. Soccer, on the other hand, is different. And then, of course, there's cheerleading. Matt Saracen was never a cheerleader, although you have total faith in him and believe that he could be anything he wanted to be. He was a football player though, and had always been desperate to be one, despite shortcomings like money and being one of the younger kids on the team. You relate to that. Friday Night Lights taught you all about teamwork. You love being part of a group like that, whether that be the girls soccer team or the cheerleading squad. It's what you miss most about high school, that sense of belonging. You love your family but Michelle likes to make your life a living hell, Brendan can only defend you so much and Gabby has her head in the clouds half the time. Matt taught you that sometimes it's okay to feel way more at home when you're part of a team.

7. Leslie Knope

She likes waffles, she likes fairness and she loves her friends. Leslie Knope is exactly the kind of woman that you want to grow up to be. Maybe you don't have a future in politics, but that's okay! You can still embody her in all the ways that are important. You're a feminist, you would happily arrange a wedding ceremony for two gay penguins and you would absolutely die for Michelle Obama. Leslie Knope is that caring and goofy friend that you want to be, and while you're not as savvy as her or as good with words, and you absolutely do not have her knack for public speaking, you wake up every morning and tell yourself that you're going to be a Pawnee Goddess that day.

8. Clint Barton

You watch the Avengers and you fall in love with superheroes. Your dad seems bolstered by this since he's been trying to get you to read comics for years now, and this eventually persuades you. You discover that you're a die-hard Captain America fan and there are several failed attempts to write a popular Steve/Bucky story when you foray into fanfiction, only to realise you're nowhere near as gifted a writer as you think you are. But you still love this world and these characters and it's like a blanket gets wrapped around you when you find out Clint Barton is actually deaf in the comics. Just like you. You devour Hawkguy, trawl the internet for all the meta discourse and fanfiction you can find and you even dress up as Kate Bishop one Halloween. Clint Barton teaches you that you can have a disability and still be a superhero.

9. Luke Skywalker

There was no way that you were making it through your childhood without discovering Luke. And Leia and Han and Chewie. But Luke was the one that stuck with you most and your dad was very proud of you for that. He's a hero, but not the typical rough-and-tough, 'needs a damsel in distress to save' sort of hero. He teaches you that you can save the galaxy and still be loyal and compassionate and have a good heart. You don't need to be jaded to be a hero, and it's okay to show emotion. And sometimes it's okay to be a little bit of a drama queen as well. You appreciate that last one.

10. Buttercup

The Princess Bride is one of the few movies that you and Michelle actually agree on. Or rather, you like all movies and she hates anything that you like. But even Michelle can't say no to The Princess Bride. Buttercup is a character who undergoes development, giving you hope that maybe one day Michelle will also go through that same growth and decides that she wants you to be her sister. Perhaps it's a pipe dream but you never give up hope. Buttercup also teaches you that you can fall hard and fast for someone who says 'as you wish' to your every command and like, you get that. You're pretty sure that you'd die on the spot should anyone say that to you.

9 TWEETS

@jupiterjess: i've ran out of oreos. is my life even worth living anymore?

@jupiterjess: the new cheerleading captain at jasper high messaged me for tips. LITTLE OLD ME. i'm blushing hardcore.

@jupiterjess: thank you so much to everyone who failed to tell me i've been walking around with a chocolate milk moustache all day!!!!! you're the best guys!!!!!! thanks!!!!!

@jupiterjess: do you ever just. stop and think. about exoplanets?? someone come hold my hand and talk to me about exoplanets.

@jupiterjess: HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY JAMES POTTER, YOU'RE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!!!!

@jupiterjess: america, i have no idea what you're doing right now, but you need to be better than this. wake up and smell the racism.

@jupiterjess: 'it's a power that jedi have that lets them control people and... makes things float.' rEY asdfgh

@jupiterjess: as a bisexual, the trailer for 'last christmas' has been very difficult for me. thoughts and prayers for jess in this trying time.

@jupiterjess: @NASA i love u

8 FACTS ABOUT SPACE

1. Halleys Comet won’t orbit past earth again until 2061

JESS' INPUT: Okay, so here's another fun fact about Halleys Comet! At Disney's Magic Kingdom, Main Street USA is connected to Tomorrowland by one thing and one thing only. Main Street's design is based on the year 1910, and Tomorrowland's design is based on the year 1986. What do those two years have in common? That was when Halleys Comet orbited past Earth! ... That's more of a Disney World fact, but pretty cool all the same, huh?

2. A full NASA spacesuit costs $12,000,000.

JESS' INPUT: 12 million! That's so much money, holy smokes. Honestly, imagine going around wearing an outfit that cost 12 million dollars. Wouldn't be me! I'm getting anxiety just thinking about it.

3. There may be a planet made out of diamonds.

JESS' INPUT: Okay, so this planet is like, 40 lightyears away and it's eight times the size of earth. Researchers think it could be made of graphite and diamonds and everyone is like 'wow, that's cool!' And okay. yeah, I get it. Diamond planet. That's super cool. But you know what isn't cool? That episode of Doctor Who where they went to the diamond planet and that one woman got possessed. That was the opposite of cool.

4. The footprints on the moon will be there for 100 million years.

JESS' INPUT: There's no atmosphere on the moon so the footprints there can't be eroded by wind or anything like that. So those footprints are going to be there for practically forever. Imagine being Buzz and Neil and being able to flex like that. I went to the grocery store the other day, accidentally dropped a jar of Marmite and then stood in it - so my footprint was there because the cashier couldn't handle the Marmite-y smell for long enough to clean it up and apparently I wasn't allowed to help for 'health and safety'. So at least my footprint is going to be imprinted somewhere. Just nowhere that's as cool as the moon.

5. The moon was once a piece of the earth.

JESS' INPUT: People think that there was some sort of collision which made a part of earth break off. They say it was an early protoplanet of Mars called Theia. Anyway, Theia made the moon break away from Earth but it stayed around to orbit us because of the Earth's gravitational pull. Don't you love the moon? She's a lesbian queen! Hey, maybe Theia had a crush on her or something and just went about it like, the wrong way.

6. There is floating water in space.

JESS' INPUT: Uh huh! So there's this massive water vapour cloud that astronauts found and it holds - oh my gosh, get reads for this - it holds 140 trillion times the mass of Earth's oceans. My head is honestly spinning just thinking about it. 140 trillion! That's crazy!

7. There is a volcano on Mars three times the size of Everest.

JESS' INPUT: Yep, her name is Olympus Mons and I would personally like to know why she didn't have a starring role in The Martian. Maybe it's because she would have easily outshined Matt Damon. Sorry, Matt.

8. In 3.75 billion years, the Milky Way and Andromeda Galaxies will collide.

JESS' INPUT: I'll be honest, my brain doesn't even know where to begin processing this. I can't... compute. What is this... I can't... Sorry, I'm shutting down. Jess out!

7 OREO FLAVOURS

7. Hot & Spicy Cinnamon Oreos. - you can pretend you can handle spicy food by eating one of these. and doesn't that make you look cultured, huh? still... it's a weird mix of flavours. 5/10. 6. Peeps Oreos. - a solid 7/10 for taste... but you still feel guilty about eating a fluffy marshmallow chicken, hence the low ranking. 5. Oreo Mini. - all the 10/10 taste of a regular oreo but they're tiny so it's very easy to hide them when you want to sneakily eat them in class! a solid 12/10 for being so gosh darn convenient. 4. Golden Oreos. - look, you were brought up in ireland and that means that sometimes you just really, really want a custard cream, okay? this is america's answer to that and it comes in a delicious, compact oreo form. *chef's kiss* exquisite. 8.5/10 3. Mint Oreos. - honestly, it's so easy to feel halfway to sophisticated when you eat one of these. a solid 9/10. 2. Red Velvet Oreos. - CREAM CHEESE IS THE PEOPLE'S CHEESE!!! 10/10!!!!!! 1. Cinnamon Bun Oreos. - you nearly cried when you tasted these for the first time. the sun was shining. obama was president. your skin was clear, your crops were growing. the promise of tomorrow was as bright and warm as the feeling in your chest when that cinnamon-y biscuit-y goodness first met your tastebuds. you could write an essay on cinnamon bun oreos. 100000/10.

6 FAMILY MEMBERS

1. Jensen Greenfeld

Your dad is probably your favourite person in the world. You'd do anything for him - including deferring your college acceptance to keep an eye on him, because that's what family does. He's your rock, your best friend, and he's the most giving person you've ever met in your life. He and your mum met in university when he studied abroad for a year and they were instantly best friends, keeping in touch long after they'd graduated and your dad moved back home. He knew your mum always wanted a kid and so he gave her you. It's unconventional, you know that, and most people raised their eyebrows at him helping another woman conceive in such a short time after his wife passed away, but that's the kind of person your dad is. Generosity helped him through his grief. How could anyone criticise that? He taught you how to ride a bike, change a leaky exhaust and adopted Comet for you so you wouldn't feel so lonely when you moved to New York to be with him. When he ended up in hospital, you were beside yourself. But not because you had to stay with him now instead of going to college like you'd planned. You could never begrudge him that, not when so much of his own life has been dedicated to making sure you were happy.

2. Magda McTaggert

Your mum has never had the easiest life. Disowned by her parents after she came out to them, she had to make her own way in the world. That's something you've never been able to relate to, because she made sure that you always had people who loved you. When you were sick as a kid, she stayed up with you every night, barely getting any sleep herself. She was your champion when you began to learn sign language, and she held your hand when the doctors first began talking about your cochlear implants. You miss her when she's in Ireland and you're in America, but she's only ever a Skype call away.

3. Kinsey McTaggert

Technically, Kinsey is your step-mother. But you rarely refer to her as that. She's your ma. She's been in your life since you were three-years-old so keeping her at arms-length with a 'step' term doesn't feel right to you when she's just as much your family as your mum and dad are. Sure, you'll call her by your first name but that's because Kinsey is so terrifyingly, inexplicably, astronomically cool. She's been managing bands for her whole life, she has pink hair and she let you come on tour when you were younger and being homeschooled. Your fondest memories are the tour bus with your mum and Kinsey and whatever up and coming rockers had adopted you as their little sister. Kinsey is the reason you felt alright leaving your mum behind to start school in America. You know she's in safe hands with her wife.

4. Michelle Greenfeld

Michelle has pretty much hated you since the day you were born. Perhaps 'hate' is a strong word, but she highly dislikes you and never let you forget the fact that you're only her half-sister. In some ways, you get it. You came into the family shortly after her mum had died. Her dad had a kid with another woman and, even though there were absolutely no romantic feelings involved, it still must have felt like a kick in the teeth. You try your best to be accommodating of her feelings because you know she's not all bad. The ways she treats Brendan and especially Gabby is proof of that. She can be the perfect big sister - unfortunately, just not to you.

5. Brendan Greenfeld

Brendan likes you though, and you're so happy about that. Brendan is exactly what you want in a big brother. He's protective and funny and taught you all the cheats for his video games, so you're basically unstoppable when it comes to Mario Kart now. He was also the one that told Gabby to shut up when she saw you for the first time after you lost your hearing. He took learning sign language in his stride and always makes sure there's room for you to sit at movie night. Sometimes you worry that, if it ever came down to it, he'd still pick Michelle over you - full sibling loyalty and all. But maybe that's doing Brendan an injustice, because he's never been anything other than the perfect big brother to you.

6. Gabby Greenfeld

Gabby is a sweetheart. She might be a little flaky at times and come out with mildly offensive things, but you know that she means well. Michelle is her favourite but she loves you as well, even if she often turns her nose up at your love for scrunchies and denim jackets. She'd rather get you to wear something sparkly and show-y and while you'll never say no to glitter, you don't think that Gabby's closet is quite for you. In fact, you're pretty sure only she can pull it off. Gabby is wild and free and doesn't care what anyone thinks of her. She's loving and loud and you want to make sure that you get to keep her around forever.

5 MEMORIES

memory one

You blush when Tor lets out a low whistle. "Some talent you've got there, Little J," he says. That makes you blush even more. Tor is just so nice. And has a handsome face. Kinsey says you're far too young to like boys yet and that you're far too smart to like someone like Tor. She says he goes through girls like a revolving door and you're not sure what that means, but you like the attention from him anyway. "I was just messing around," you smile, your fingers trailing over the keys again. He tips back his head and laughs. "Well, mess around anymore and I might be out of a job. Are you trying to upstage me?" Tor teases. Grinning, you shake your head and Serge wanders over. Normally, he's so tall and silent and sort of intimidating but his smile is warm when he reaches over to ruffle your hair. "Say the word and I'll kick Tor to the curb in an instant, Jess," he promises solemnly. You know that they're just joking, but it's nice to feel that sort of validation. Especially when you're a little kid and they're rockstars. That's why music is so special, it brings everyone together, even Irish Harry Potter enthusiasts and charming keyboardists with pretty eyes.

memory two

The headache has cleared up but you still feel groggy and confused and so you fall back asleep again, promising yourself that you'll ask after your mum when you wake up again. Because maybe then you'll be able to hear her. There's no such luck when you come to again. Everything is silent and it's too weird to even begin describing. You're confused at first but your mum's tears, your dad's shell-shocked expression and the grim line set around Kinsey's mouth helps you to put the pieces together. There's a kind looking doctor who's writing something on a notepad for you, and you already know what it's going to say before he places it in your lap. You've worked it out. You're deaf. It's as if years fall away from you at that moment. It's hard to reconcile the news with everything you know about yourself. Your whole childhood has been music and now what? That's gone away and you're just meant to be okay with it? How is that fair? With shaking hands, you take the pen from the doctor and write a reply. As soon as your mum reads it, she starts crying again but your dad finds it in himself to smile and he reaches over to squeeze your knee through the hospital bedsheets. He still has that piece of paper which is stupidly sentimental of him and you love him for it. It read: Okay. What's next?

memory three

At first, you were excited. After years of homeschooling, you're finally going to a proper high school and you get to see your dad every day. What's not to love about all of that? However, now that you're in New York, the nerves have started to settle in. What if no one wants to be your friend? What if the kids at school are weird about the deaf thing? What if they try and touch your implant? What if they don't let you join the soccer team even though Kinsey bought you new cleats specifically for that? Most of all, what if Michelle tries to smother you in your sleep? Your dad laughs when you voice that one aloud. "Don't you think you're being a little bit dramatic?" he asks you, fondly smoothing down your hair. You laugh along with him but you aren't so sure. That night at dinner, Michelle spears a meatball with her fork in such an aggressive manner, glaring at you all the while, that you think you're about to faint. No, you don't think you're being dramatic at all.

memory four

"Jess? Jess, are you alright?" At first, you can't even reply. You're too speechless. With shaking hands, you present him with the letter - your CalTech acceptance letter. Your dad cheers at once and he scoops you up into a hug and you think that you could just die of happiness right then and there. You're going to be studying aeronautical engineering. All of the hard work, the late night physics reading, the dedication to science club, the hours spent in your dad's garage understanding engines, the grease and oil covering your hands and your hair and your face. It was all worth it. And now it's one step closer to NASA.

memory five

A heart attack. Your dad isn't even old, and as far as you know he's always had a clean bill of health so what's changed. You stay silent all the way to the hospital and Brendan lets you. When you arrive, Gabby hugs you and even Michelle manages a watery smile your way. Then all four of you are allowed into see him. He's lying in bed, tubes attached to him, but he's sitting upright and he smiles at you, his kids, even if he does look sleepy. Then he cracks some sort of joke and hell if you can remember what it is. But that's what makes you cry. The idea of college goes flying right out the window. He argues with you, naturally. So you lie and tell him you were never that sure about it anyway. He doesn't believe you at first because that career path has been the only thing you've ever been sure about since you were 11-years-old. Maybe you're a good actress because eventually he relents and lets you stay with him. Or maybe, deep down, he's scared to be on his own now too.

4 CRUSHES

1. Tor Eklund

keyboard player for The Corkscrews

has the nicest set of teeth in the world

went through girls like a revolving door according to Kinsey

called you 'little J'

total dreamboat

saw you as a little sister

2. Graham O'Connell

striker for the boys football team in Ireland

had never seen or read Harry Potter but he had floppy hair so you were willing to make allowances

always complimented your football boots

was your first kiss

asked if the two of you could keep in touch when you moved to Canada

messaged you one day to say he'd started watching Harry Potter

you were overjoyed

messaged you again to say he didn't really like Remus Lupin

you well and truly dodged that bullet, didn't you?

3. Amanda Forbes

literally the prettiest girl you've ever seen in your life

was visiting Jasper in the summer with her family

was also a cheerleader

your bisexual awakening

said she wanted to kiss you because she had never kissed a girl before

kissed you lots of times that summer

ghosted you when she left and has a boyfriend now

well, fine then, Amanda

4. Steve Rogers aka Captain America

I mean, you're only bloody human, aren't you?

3 JOBS

1. Neighbourhood Dog Walker

You were fourteen. You needed some money. You loved dogs. It made perfect sense. All the neighbours trusted you to look after their pooches and you made about twenty different canine friends.

2. Apprentice Mechanic

When you told your dad you wanted to be an aeronautical engineer, he said that you needed hands on experience. It helped that he owned an auto shop. Convenient, right? He thought a week working alongside him would help you get to grips with things and prepare you for college. You kept working there for three years. You loved it so much.

3 Aeronatucial Engineer

With your dad on the mend, it doesn’t seem like such a pipe dream anymore. Now you’re at NYU and you feel lucky that they want you to study with them. It’s not CalTech but it’s still one step closer to NASA, and this way you still get to be close to your dad.

2 DOGS

1. Comet

2. Sirius

1 JESS

Bubbly, optimistic, generous, strong-willed, determined, resilient, resourceful, courageous, cheery, nurturing, reckless, stubborn, lacks self-awareness, self-conscious, easily influenced, cares too much about what other people think of her, total Gryffindor, eats too many Oreos, space nerd, deaf, soccer player, cheerleader, dog mom, half-Irish, half-American.

#muse;

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tran5rightsos · 4 years

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You Don’t Deserve to Breathe, But Here I am Still Hearing You Speak

Summary: Michael takes Luke to a party and it doesn’t even come close to going as planned.

Tags and Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Implied/Referenced Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Forced Prostitution

Word Count: 2630

Leave Kudos?

Even from inside Michael’s car, the bass echoing from the party down the street pulsed in his ears, almost loud enough for him to recognise the song, but not quite.

“You ready to go?” he asked Luke.

Luke shook his head, fidgeting with his sleeve with shaking fingers. “I shouldn’t.”

This conversation had been all over the place since it began. Luke wanted a last hit of ice to ease himself into sobriety, Michael said it would probably be easier on him if he didn’t have one, Luke agreed, then threw up, then begged Michael to take him to a dealer, then felt guilty about wasting Michael’s money, then had an anxiety attack about offering sex for drugs and getting hurt or Michael trying to buy and getting hurt and now they were here in a more public setting with plenty of witnesses, apparently still unsure about whether they were going to go through with it or not.

“It’s okay, man,” Michael assured him, “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Luke frowned deeply at his hands, then stared out the window, at a few late-comers walking to the party. His eyes widened. “Shit, is that Ethan?”

Michael’s stomach dropped and he looked up the road, following Luke’s gaze. Sure enough, Ethan was walking towards them, short blond curls and old, tattered clothes still recognisable in the moonlight. Michael made to start the car, but Luke stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“I wanna talk to him.”

“We should just go,” Michael argued. That had been the plan. Sneak Luke out of his house, maybe get him some meth, then get the fuck out of this shithole for good.

Luke opened his door and got out, terror clear in his eyes. Michael did the same. There was no way in hell he’d leave him to face Ethan on his own.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Ethan demanded as he approached, “You’re supposed to be at Brendan’s tonight. He keeps asking were you are.”

“I’m leaving,” Luke told him, defiant even as he trembled.

Ethan glared at Michael. “Who the fuck are you?”

“None of your fucking business,” Michael bit back.

Ethan stalked forward to grab Luke’s shirt. “We’re going home.”

Michael shoved him away. “Fuck you.”

There was a tense pause as Ethan’s face twisted with rage and he glared at Michael and Luke.

“I’ll fucking find you,” he finally hissed, jabbing a finger into Luke’s chest, “You think my friends hurt you? You think kids at school hurt you? You have no fucking idea what I’ll do to you if you try to leave.” He stepped back, giving Michael a deadly look. “If you aren’t home by morning, I’ll make you beg me to let you die.” He turned away and started walking back to the party.

Tears streamed from Luke’s eyes as he looked at the ground, the hopeless fear in his eyes breaking Michael’s heart.

Before he could move to comfort him, Luke crouched down to grab something off the ground and ran at Ethan. There was a loud crack as he slammed the thing in his hand against the side of Ethan’s head. A rock, Michael guessed.

Frozen, he watched Ethan stumble and fall to his knees, Luke pushing him onto his back and getting on top of him to bring the rock down on him over and over. Each hit was bloodier than the last and Ethan struggled at first, blindly shoving at Luke and trying to yell, but his weak shouts died as his teeth broke and his mouth filled with blood. Ethan could never suffer enough for what he put Luke through, but every hit felt like retribution.

Michael’s lips twisted into a smile. Finally, Ethan was the one who was powerless and afraid.

Ethan’s arms fell to ground, fingers twitching as Luke kept hitting him. A sob escaped Luke’s lips and Michael was broken out of his haze, glancing around to see if anyone was watching as he crouched at Luke’s side.

“Come on, we gotta go,” Luke nodded, letting Michael pull him off of Ethan and take him to the car.

Michael looked back at Ethan as Luke got in. He wouldn’t be able to reverse out with him lying there.

Glancing around again, Michael grabbed Ethan’s ankles and dragged him towards the ditch. As he crouched down to push him in, he heard a whimper.

“You’re lucky I don’t have more time,” he whispered, not completely certain that Ethan’s ears weren’t too clogged with blood to hear him but enjoying the catharsis of getting his feelings out anyway, “If it were up to me, you’d be the one begging to die.” He stood up and shoved Ethan with his boot, watching him roll to the bed of the ditch with a choked-off sound. Michael hoped he'd drown on his blood.

Luke was shaking uncontrollably when Michael got into the driver’s seat, looking over his shoulder and scratching at his wrists. “What if someone saw?”

Michael turned the key and pulled out. “I don’t think anyone did,” he said, hoping to God he was right.

“But what if someone did?”

“Then we’ll ran away,” Michael told him, “Just like we were going to anyway. We’ll get fake names and go to fucking … Alice Springs or something. They’ll never find us in the middle of the desert.”

Luke sniffled, but seemed somewhat calmed by Michael’s words. It wasn’t a plan, Michael knew that, but for Luke he’d pretend it was, pretend he had it all together and that behind the high of what just happened he wasn’t starting to freak out about what would happen to them.

“We’re gonna be fine,” Michael assured Luke as much as himself.

“Ethan has money,” Luke said, “In his room. We should get it.”

Michael glanced at him and hoped that his earlier promise that Luke would never see that house again was the only one he’d be breaking tonight.

“Mind if I change inside?” Michael asked when they pulled up, “You should too. Get rid of the evidence.”

Luke nodded and waited as Michael got a set of fresh clothes out of the boot for each of them. “Bring a spare bag,” he suggested.

Michael had never been inside Luke’s house before. Aside from a few beer bottles scattered around the sleeping form on the couch, it was shockingly clean. He knew that Ethan made Luke do chores in exchange for food, but he was still surprised by how much it looked like a normal, well-kept house.

“He keeps some money on a shelf in his room,” Luke whispered as they crept through the house, careful to not make enough noise to wake up Phil, “To try and trick me into stealing some. I’ll grab it after I shower. Do you wanna shower too?”

Michael shook his head. He was really only changing his clothes as a precaution, he hadn’t been standing close enough to get too bloody.

“You can change in my room, if you want.”

He went to the door Luke indicated to and flicked open the latch. It had been haphazardly secured to the door frame with nails instead of screws, most likely by Ethan himself. The padlock, tarnished and dirty from years of use, still hung from the part nailed to the door, open and waiting for someone to lock Luke in his room, though now nobody would ever again.

Hearing the shower turn on, Michael stepped inside. Luke’s room was tidy, probably in part because Luke didn’t have a lot of possessions aside from his clothes. The walls were bare of posters and no childhood paraphernalia cluttered the shelves. Michael wondered if Ethan made him keep it spotless for his "guests" or if Luke just cleaned to pass the time, the countless hours over years of imprisonment in here. Well, spotless aside from the old bloodstains on the bed sheets. Michael tried not to think too hard about them when he put the bag he'd brought on the bed.

When Michael had changed, he went to the window and touched the nails that held the tattered wooden blinds to the frame, wondering how many years it had been since they were hammered in, whether an escape attempt had led to their presence. Michael’s gut twisted at the thought of what the punishment for that would have been.

At the sound of a cough, he spun around to see Phil at the doorway, blinking at him blearily.

“You one of Luke’s?” he asked gruffly.

Michael relaxed. “Yeah,” he lied.

“Ethan around?”

“No, I uh…I payed him earlier and he said to just go ahead when I got here.”

Phil nodded, glancing back towards the bathroom. “You wanna beer while you wait?”

“I’m good.”

“I’ll leave you guys to it, then.” He gave the bag and clothes Michael had left on the bed a long look but didn’t comment on them before leaving.

Bastard. Luke said Phil had never laid a hand on him, but he’d never done anything to stop Ethan either. Although Luke might not feel inclined to blame him, reasoning that he was as afraid of his piece-of-shit son as he was, as far as Michael was concerned, Phil was just as guilty as every other sick fuck who’d had anything to do with this.

When Luke came back, clean of any trace of Ethan’s blood, he dumped the armfuls of stuff he’d brought with him on the bed. Cash and drugs, it looked like. “Found his stash,” he explained.

“Phil came in,” Michael told him, “I said I was a customer.”

Luke nodded as he held up a baggy. “I just checked and he’s asleep on the couch again. We should be good.”

Michael sorted through the money as Luke examined the drugs, counting out hundreds of dollars within a minute and trying not wonder how much Ethan had made from dealing versus selling his own half-brother.

“I dunno how to sell all that,” Michael said, eyeing the acid Luke was looking at, “We probably don’t need to anyway, there’s plenty of cash.”

Luke hesitated, a guilty look creeping into his demeanour.

“Luke…”

“We could just keep a bit,” he pleaded.

“No way. You wanted to get clean.”

Luke opened his mouth to protest, but was distracted by something outside. “Someone’s coming,” he whispered.

Michael went to the window and peered through a tiny gap in the blinds. “Cops.”

Was it a good sign that there were no lights or sirens, or did they just want to sneak up, give them no opportunity to run?

When he looked back, Luke was staring down at the hoard in front of him. As heavy footsteps trudged up the the front door, he jumped off the bed and wrenched the bottom drawer out from his wardrobe, reaching in to pull up the carpet there.

“Here,” he hissed at Michael, looking terrified when a loud knock echoed from the front door.

Michael scooped up the assorted substances and helped Luke stuff them into the hiding place, cold washing over him as he heard Phil answer the door.

“Cash?” he asked Luke.

“It won’t fit,” Luke told him, replacing the piece of carpet and lifting the drawer back in.

Michael pulled the blanket up and started stuffing the cash there. It was the most obvious hiding place in the world, but at least nothing would immediately look amiss if someone walked in.

As they neatened the bed, footsteps approached and there was a soft knock on Luke’s door.

“Uh…you guys are gonna have to wrap it up, there’s someone at the door for Luke,” Phil told them, “And you can…leave through the back door if you like. Maybe wait a couple of minutes.”

“I’ll be there in a minute,” Luke called back.

The footsteps retreated.

“What do I do?” Luke whimpered.

Michael racked his brain. Even if they ran out the back door, they couldn’t get his car with the cops standing out front.

“Maybe they’re here about something else,” he reasoned, “Just act calm. Don’t tell them anything. Let Phil do the talking.” He’d covered up for Ethan plenty of times before.

“What if they know?” Tears were spilling from Luke’s eyes.

Michael dried them with his sleeves. “Pretend I did it.”

“No”

“Luke.” Michael held his face. “You can’t go to prison.”

“Neither can you.”

“I can take care of myself,” he promised, “They won’t even catch me anyway. I’ll leave as soon as they’re gone.”

“No, I need you.”

Michael pulled him into a hug. “It’s gonna be fine.”

“Luke?” Phil called.

“Call me when you get home, then, yeah?” Michael instructed, “I’ll get ready to leave and we can go as soon as you’re out. Together.”

Luke took a shaky breath and nodded. “Don’t leave me here.”

“I won’t.”

Michael watched from the window as the cops led Phil and Luke to their car, taking it as a good sign that they weren’t in handcuffs. Once they were gone, he collected up all the cash again and stuffed most of it into the bag, leaving a little under the sheets in case he got caught and Luke needed it.

Next he grabbed his clothes and the pile Luke had left in the bathroom, stuffing them into a bin bag from the kitchen. He’d burn them in the old fire pit at Nan’s, though he had to wonder what the point was. Even without witnesses, they’ve probably left more than enough evidence to condemn themselves at the scene.

As Michael stood in his backyard and watched the green flames flicker, the sky lighting with the approach of dawn, he got a text from Luke asking him to go to their usual meet-up spot. Michael told him to make sure his bed was made, hoping he’d pick up on the suggestion. It didn’t really matter if he did, there were already had thousands in the pack they’d filled, but a bit extra couldn’t hurt.

“You okay?” Michael asked when he picked Luke up.

He nodded, handing him the stack of cash from the bed. “Didn’t want Phil to see you in case he thought it was weird. He chugged a beer and passed out on the couch pretty much as soon as we got home, but…” He wiped at his nose. “You know, he asked me if you hurt me? ‘Cause he saw that I was crying when I came to the door.”

“What did you say?”

Luke shrugged. "Asked him why he cared."

It was probably best to let Phil believe whatever he wanted, especially if it prompted him to be sympathetic enough to have Luke’s back for once in his life.

“Did the cops notice?”

“Fraser’s a customer. He’s used to it.”

“Oh.”

“Can we go to the beach?”

“Sure.”

They drove in silence.

“So are we on the run?” Michael asked when they reached the car park, only half joking.

Luke shook his head. “They just wanted me and Phil to identify his body. Phil asked who did it and they said it was probably a territory dispute or something.”

“Seriously?” Michael laughed as he pulled into one of the many free spaces. Nobody was out here this early. “Thank fuck.” His smile fell when he realised Luke still looked worried. “You okay?”

“I killed him,” he whispered.

“Hey, he deserved it,” Michael gently reassured him.

“I liked it.”

“Killing him?”

Luke nodded.

Michael looked at his hands. “I kinda liked it too. It was right, obviously, but it was…really good, too, you know? Like, really good.”

Luke looked at him. “I think we’re fucked up.”

Michael grinned. “Yeah, maybe. We're alright, though.”

"Yeah." Luke smiled tentatively. "We're alright."

#au: wire #5sos fic #my fic

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torentialtribute · 5 years

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Don’t tell me Test cricket is dying: It’s the ultimate format and only the real elite get to play

It's always exciting to enter every new season and it's an honor this year have been asked

I will share a dressing room with 10 other boys who go there with their own aspirations of success with their counties and further awards

And of my teammates I have previously taken the field alone with Dom Bess, Steven Parry and Tom Westley, I think. One of the best things about cricket is the chance it gives you to meet and play with different people.

It's always exciting to enter every new season and it's an honor to captain the MCC

always exciting to enter every new season and it is an honor to be the MCC captain

Before I came to Dubai, I went bowling outside in Nottingham against the other guys who didn't playing abroad at this time of the year – players such as Tom Moores, Samit Patel and Luke Fletcher – and it was two or three-man weather, so I'm definitely looking forward to the change in temperature and bowling in just one shirt.

Beware of Pattin

These coming days will be about finding rhythm, because there will certainly be no room for it if the championship season starts on April 5 in Yorkshire – one of the two games at the start of

James Pattinson, who returns for his second spell as an overseas player, misses those two, but it is nevertheless a big pat on the back for the club to draw someone

In 2017, he was one of the eye-catching cricket players

When someone like Richard Hadlee, or a West Indian, came up quickly, members would be on the brink of their seats.

<img id = "i-6cff3c05754df893" src = "https://ift.tt/2FpGU26 23/20 / 1AE872E9000005DC-0-image-a-2_1553374223625.jpg "height =" 446 "width =" 634 "alt =" James Pattinson wants to enter the Ashes squadron of Australia and will be motivated for wickets Ashes squadron of Australia and will be motivated for wickets "

James Pattinson wants to be in Ashes squadron of Australia and be motivated for wickets

The same thing happened with Pattinson for his pace and skills.

So getting someone of that quality back is a real coup. His last game for Notts ended with the lifting of the white-ball trophy at Lord & # 39; s and he is again a great lift for the players because we know we have a squadron ready to challenge.

We were promoted in 2017 with a Division One type team, but last year we were in Division One with a weaker one.

It is difficult to replace players such as Chris Read, Michael Lumb, Alex Hales, Brendan Taylor and Pattinson.

Not least because it means that we are going to look at trophies this year.

Having played with Jimmy in 2017, I would have found it hard to believe that he would not be included in every bowling attack in the world. He's so good. But he's a bit close to Australia, which is positive for Nottinghamshire because he wants to prove a point.

<img id = "i-52c06705986ab449" src = "https://ift.tt/2NyDsEw /1s/2019/03/23/20/11370688-0-image-m-5_1553374392567.jpg "height =" 692 "width =" 634 "alt =" <img id = "i-52c06705986ab449" src = "https: //i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2019/03/23/20/11370688-0-image-m-5_1553374392567.jpg "height =" 692 "width =" 634 "alt =" <img id = " i-52c06705986ab449 "src =" https://ift.tt/2UaEAEk "height =" 692 "width =" 634 "alt =" Another scoop for me will be the chance to go bowling against Joe Root in a County Championship match. When he is fit and shoots, he has real pace, aggression, squeezes the ball back, swings the ball away, throws a knee length, has a bowler presence and can also braid.

Another scoop for me, I think, is the chance to come to Joe Carrot in a County Championship competition, it was a bit of a surprisefor me, to be honest, when I was mentioned in the Yorkshire team for the opening ceremony because I thought I might have rest before the World Cup.

I was playing against him right now Jake Ball grabbed him first ball in the first innings and again in the second inning, just before I had to return.

Testing still the best

Test cricket takes a back seat to white-ball cricket in the next few months and there has been much debate about the state lately of the longest form of the game, with some suggesting that it is a format that will die.

I don't think that could be further from the truth. Recent ICC research showed a worldwide audience of around 700 million people.

Players still realize that

It is the ultimate test of everything as a cricket player: character, skill, longevity, fitness. only the best can play Test cricket. More players are capable of knocking the ball a long way than the batting time and that is still the ultimate skill, I think, because all your weaknesses are discovered faster in Tests than T20.

The most nervous people I have long been were Kohli and Ajinkya Rahane were beating together in Southampton "

The most nervous I have long been was when Kohli and Ajinkya Rahane were beating together in Southampton

In the area of entertainment, fans have been enthusiastic over the past year.

People were glued to the England-India theater series last summer and delivered Virat Kohli in a way we are used to, but we are used to it succeeded to win 4-1.

We defended a target of 245 and Kohli played with his eyes closed.

Credit goes to the players for creating exciting games because they are great do things in the game. Last fall India won a historic victory in Australia, England won in Sri Lanka and New Zealand rushed through Pakistan in a cheap way to win in Abu Dhabi. The final stages of that competition were moving.

Some of the best bowlers, such as South Africa & Dale Steyn, would like to impress "

bowlers, such as Dale Steyn from South Africa, would like to impress make "

Some of the best bowlers, such as Dale Steyn from South Africa, would like to impress

Sri Lanka then went to South Africa and knocked them over .

Some of the best bowlers of the past 15 to 20 years are now there, we have also seen a long time with one of the strongest arches of the West Indians with bowlers to excite anyone. South Africa has Dale Steyn and Kagiso Rabada, Mohammad Abbas has dominated Pakistan, and there is Shannon Gabriel in the Caribbean. Pat Australia has had a fantastic few months for Australia.

Test cricket remains the ultimate format for me and the players I know who still filled it with awe.

Come on,

It's been something that has been around in the county cricket since I started playing and makes players easily recognizable on the pitch.

I love the move to put names and numbers on test cricket that was revealed this week

I love the move to put names and numbers on shirts in Test

This makes you feel like you're on the road,

It will be great to have No 8 England- shirt to be put on again at the start of the Ashes

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