#i would die for these two i stg
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The couple goes out on premiere night in style~
Girl on the left once again belongs to my ol buddy, ol pal, ol friend @ziddieee
#art#digital arwork#oc art#oc artist#queer artist#vampire oc#oc x oc#barbie#the barbie movie#I would literally die for these two I stg
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Hidan’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki
From Deidara:
Fuck you
Where’s the money you owe me
I KNOW it was you asshole
At least mine isn’t 91!
Pizza or Chinese?
No bc if you killed him Leader would just blame ME.
Help me prank Itachi and I’ll give you half my next check
Scared of a little gengetsu? Pussy
Go smell Tobi’s hair then ask me who took your damn cheap-ass shampoo
Why would you eat it it HAD MY NAME ON THE LABEL bastard!
Ok but can ya’ll go to HIS room once in a while?? I don’t need to be kept up all night!!
From Kisame
Do that to Itachi again and I’ll eviscerate you and floss with your intestines.
That Jashin voodoo crap doesn’t scare me kid
Why the hell would you eat that?! You don’t even LIKE tuna!!
You better hope you can outrun Deidara then
I think you meant that for Kakuzu. GOD I hope you meant that for Kakuzu.
From Zetsu
You left that guy outside can I eat him?
Are you done with that body yet?
Believe it or not fear actually seasons the meat
Weird question but can I lick your scythe before you clean it 👀
From Konan
Lol pretty sure his are bigger than mine kid
He’s not that old he just looks like that
Leftover ribs in fridge for you
Pls stop harassing him. He blows up my phone for hours complaining about you 😒
Get back down here and clean all this blood you trailed in! I JUST cleaned the floor!! 😤
Dinner. Last warning.
Me and Deidara going to get manicures, you in?
You think I can’t knock you out just because you’re taller? Challenge accepted.
From Sasori
I’m not a pervert he’s 19 he’s an ADULT.
Best friend? Since when??
That medicine won’t take effect if you don’t LAY DOWN and GO TO SLEEP, brat.
For as fascinated as you seem to be with my anatomy you’d think YOU were the one sleeping with me, not Dei 🧐
If Kakuzu already said no then NO.
Next time I’m stitching that mouth shut so we can all get some peace and quiet.
Yes but I can make mine any size I want at any time. You’re stuck with what you’ve got.
From Nagato
Because I said so.
Yes, really.
Be thankful that’s the ONLY punishment you received.
What she and I do is none of your concern, brat.
I’m sorry but you know Kakuzu has the final say in all financial matters.
You either apologize or I’m going to let Zetsu eat you.
Because you two cause too much trouble when we let you take missions together.
From Itachi
I’m not falling for that one again.
Never. Never in a thousand lifetimes.
Because it’s unsanitary!!
I know you took it I saw you wearing it yesterday.
Why were you even listening anyway? Pervert.
Only if Tobi comes too, I don’t trust the two of you alone.
Literally a few greens won’t kill you.
Yes you did know that!! I told everyone on the VERY FIRST DAY how allergic I am to that! 😡
Either finish your ritual or take that guy somewhere else I can’t sleep with all the screaming.
From Tobi
Of course not! We’re just friends!
Wait do you think I might have a shot with him?! 👀
Idk I left after I saw Zetsu chewing on the guy’s foot
Is there a way to take back a picture after you send it before the other person looks at it?
Want some cake? Want to eat myself but Konan says to share or I’m gonna die 😅
From Kakuzu
How much is it?
Did you use the coupons I gave you?
That shit is coming out of your paycheck brat
Sorry. Next time I won’t make them so tight.
Because I don’t have the patience and you’re not responsible enough.
I stg if you bring one more lawsuit against this organization 😡
My room. Now.
Everybody gets the exact same. If you waste yours that’s your own fault.
Make me ask again and I’ll come get you and throw you over my shoulder
This is getting ridiculous how many times am I gonna have to sew it back on?!
Come see me tonight I’ll take care of it.
It was you and Deidara. I KNOW it was you and Deidara.
Maybe if you’re a good boy.
#the akatsuki#hidan#text message#kakuhida#kakuzu x hidan#implied sasodei#implied kisaita#implied tobidei#deidara#sasori#tobi#kakuzu#zetsu#konan#nagato#kisame hoshigaki#itachi uchiha#Akatsuki Daily Texts Series
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what other webtoons would u recc? any lo fanfics u love?
Right now a lot of the stuff I'm reading are actually outside of Webtoons. I've been stepping away from the platform quite a bit over the last little while just because of how drained it's made me, both because of LO (even when I did try to stop reading it the app would shove so many ads down my throat, ugh) and just because of how the platform is designed in general, it feels very soul-sucking. I've been looking to get back to independent platforms, where it all started :' )
Some of the stuff I keep up to date on:
AwkwardZombie, a gag comic that's been around for like 15 years, I stg it's like the Simpsons of the webcomic world, it'll never die LMAO A lot of them are only as funny as your own knowledge of them (they're gaming comics after all) but the ones that do make me laugh usually manage to make me piss myself and that's pretty impressive for a comic that's been updating every week since 2006.
Alfie (18+, not for minors!), it's truly the gold standard of "porn with plot" and has some of my favorite original worldbuilding out there) It's drawn beautifully, has some great ships, and it tackles the whole mother-daughter-relationship-strained-by-ingrained-purity-culture subject WAY better than LO ever has.
A Tale of Two Rulers, a Zelda x Ganondorf comic that only updates maybe once a month but is WAY more gorgeous than it has any business being, fr this comic is beautiful It's got Zelda and Ganondorf getting married to solve their political differences and then slowly but surely falling in love with each other (while dealing with the massive differences that often come between them). Again, the art is gorgeous, and it's got one of my favorite versions of Zelda out there.
Tamberlane, an anthro comic where a klutzy bat finds a young girl stranded in the woods and opts to adopt her. Great art and great worldbuilding in this one, think of Tamberlane like Boo from Monsters Inc haha
Tales from Alderwood, a fantasy comic centered around a budding wizard and her owl familiar. It feels like reading a D&D adventure, lots of hijinks and hilarious dialogue.
As for Greek myth/LO adjacent stuff, check out Punderworld on Webtoons, which is just about to make its big return from a long hiatus!
Theia Mania (18+) is one of my personal favorites, the art is very unique and you can tell the creator has a lot of passion and knowledge on Greek Myth. Exactly the comic you wanna read if you want some justice for Demeter, she's the best in this lol and a small mention, I find the comic is very body and sex positive, it's not afraid to depict women with body hair or chubby men, which I can always appreciate <3 <3
And then there's Talisman, which isn't a comic, but a fanfiction over on Ao3. It's a LONG read, I still haven't caught up with it myself, but it's a pretty interesting re-write of LO!
Hope you enjoy some of these! <3
#ama#ask me anything#anon ask me anything#anon ama#greek myth comics#comic recommendations#comic reccs#18+
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hiii!!! can you write a vance x female reader where he’s the type of boyfriend who’s like the “i hate everyone but you” type and they’re at school and someone tries picking on her and he defends her? ily!!
Guardian (Vance Hopper)
Pairing: Vance Hopper x F!Reader (romantic)
Word count: 444
Description: Vances stands up for Y/N after he sees her getting picked on in school
Tags: language, bullying, kissing
~~~~~~~~~~~
You leaned against the brick wall outside the school, patiently waiting for Vance to meet you. You calmly watched the chattering people around you, half listening in on their conversations. One particular face in the crowd caused you to tense. This particular girl had been giving you shit the past couple days. You shrunk slightly against the wall, hoping to evade her line of sight. You knew you had failed when you saw her glance at you and then begin to walk in your direction.
You sighed and straightened up.
“Well, Y/N, didn’t expect to see you here,” the girl said, leaning against the wall next to you. That was a stupid thing to say, you go here, but you didn’t respond. “What? Got nothing to say?” You glared at her but, again, didn’t say anything.
“I get that you’re intimidated by me, but you don’t gotta be a total bitch about it,” the girl laughed at you. “Are you gonna wait until your boyfriend’s here to defend you to say something?”
You hated that you didn’t have the courage to stand up for yourself without some sort of safety net. You wanted to try.
“No, I just don’t think you deserve my attention,” you said in a voice more high pitched than usual. Vance would say this to you often, that people who messed with you didn’t deserve your attention.
“Oh, you think you’re better than me or something?” The girl laughed in an offended tone. “I believe I have shown you many times that you’re not.”
“Y/N,” a voice from the crowd called out to you. “Everything good over here?” You saw Vance approaching you quickly but calmly.
“This doesn’t concern you,” the girl spat, her tone turning more aggressive.
“Actually, I think it does,” Vance said, his tone matching hers. “So why don’t you fuck off.” The girl looked between you and Vance before scoffing and walking away. Once the girl had reached a good distance away from the two of you, Vance turned to you.
“You ok?” He asked with a much softer tone than he spoke to that girl with.
You nodded.
“Yeah, I just hate that she keeps doing that,” you groaned, crossing your arms over your chest.
“I’m sorry ‘bout that, sweetheart,” Vance said, reaching up and ruffling your hair slightly, bringing out a small smile. “You wanna stop by the Grab N Go on the way home, we can play some pinball, get some snacks?” You nodded, smiling at Vance. You stood up as tall as you could and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, eliciting a laugh from him.
“That sounds nice.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed! Mmmm, tiny baby fic about my tiny baby Vance
Also I legit almost had a panic attack at work today and now I'm going back tomorrow, I stg if they put me on drive-thru cash register, I will die
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Ghost's Dead Fiance
Description: There were two things that Soap knew: He was in love with Ghost and Ghost was still in love with his dead fiance, Roach.
Warnings: Misunderstandings (very angsty trust me guys), sadness everywhere, Roach is definitely dead guys, sorry he's just gone :(
Note: Roach fans I am begging you not to block me and to actually read this I stg I am one of you believe that I am not leading you astray with this
Soap had worked with Simon "Ghost" Riley for a little over two years now. Two years of getting to know the man and all of his little intricacies. Two years of falling in love.
He'd believed the other man was a hard-ass when they first met, always so focused and serious, even on their down time. Then he'd learned. He'd started to see the truth and draw more and more of Ghost personality out into the light. The man was tough, but he also had an affinity for silly little jokes Soap would have heard from his dad when he was younger.
Ghost was serious, but he was also self-confident and playful. He would be more than willing to drop a smug comment about how good he was or make some dry comment after Shepherd had spoken, usually a comment that would get Soap in trouble because he'd be laughing too hard.
Soap liked to think that over the two years of working with Ghost, he'd gotten to really know the man. He'd learned the big things, like Ghost's humor and how his voice sounded when he was upset by something, it would always break somewhere toward the end of his sentence. He'd learned the little things too, like how Ghost liked his coffee and the fact that he would only eat eggs if they were scrambled.
He hadn't realized until he'd been alone in the streets of Las Almas, sure he was going to die by himself, with no one there. He hadn't realized until then that he loved Ghost. He'd tried the man over the radio at first, calling for him several times. No answer came through and a thick pooling of dread formed in his throat. He'd collapsed to the ground soon after, his heart heavy and his mind telling him to just give up.
Then he'd heard it, Ghost's voice on the line, calling for him with concern. His heart had given a large burst of affection, warmth filling him despite the cold and wet atmosphere around him. Ghost was alive, he was alive and he was waiting for Soap. He was giving Soap comfort in the form of his stupid little jokes and quips. Soap realized when he was in the cafe just how much he seemed to react to the other man. He realized with startling clarity that somewhere along the line of annoying the shit out of the man and befriending him, he'd managed to fall for him.
That realization should have been lovely for him. It should have made him feel warm all over when he came to that conclusion. He was in love with Ghost, and he'd always been taught that love was a good thing. But he knew Ghost. He'd learned practically everything about the man. Which meant he also knew that Ghost was still stuck, was still in love with someone else. Someone long dead.
Soap had first learned about Roach in the locker room after a mission. They'd been cleaning up and Ghost had stripped his shirt off, leaving nothing but his identification disk on. Soap had noticed then the shiny pair of dog tags that sat next to Ghost's disk.
He hadn't said anything about them at the time. It wasn't until a few weeks later when he saw them again that he asked. He could see them much closer this time, they'd fallen out of Ghost's shirt when he'd leaned across him to grab something. Soap had caught the glinting of the silver and the flash of a name.
"Who's Roach?"
He saw Ghost tense. He'd watched the other man quickly tuck the tags back under his shirt and he'd been surprised when his LT had replied with a rather harsh, "Mind your own, MacTavish." He knew immediately that whoever Roach was, he was a sore subject for Ghost.
He'd done some quick research on the tags then. With identification disks, they stayed with the soldier no matter what, but as he learned quickly, that wasn't the same with dog tags. He'd felt horror creep up his throat as he read on. If a soldier died, one of his tags stayed with him and the other went with his loved ones. Ghost only had one tag with him. Whoever Gary "Roach" Sanderson was, he was dead and he was clearly very important to Ghost.
He hadn't asked about Roach since then, but he'd picked up enough. As Ghost grew more comfortable with him, the man would occasionally mention Roach, usually with one of his hands gripping that dog tag and a bittersweet look on his face. Soap had seen people grieve before. He knew the process. He knew that Ghost was still grieving.
That became especially clear to him when he learned exactly who Roach had been to his LT.
They were sitting together at a bar, sipping whiskey with Price and Gaz, chatting idly. Soap had mentioned something about home, about the nature in Scotland. Ghost had given a low chuckle at his animated descriptions before commenting, "My fiance, Roach, wanted to visit Scotland at one point. Never quite got around to it."
Soap had seen the way that Ghost gripped his drink tighter and brought it up to his mouth, taking a quick swig of it. Likely to wash down the wave of emotions that had been drawn from him. Soap felt terrible for the man, his heart aching for the loss he felt. But he also recognized fully that Ghost was still in love with Roach.
He'd seen the way Ghost's eyes had lit up, he'd heard the softness in his voice, he'd seen the tell tale signs that the man was giving a soft sort of smile under his mask. He knew. He'd seen it. He knew that Ghost was still in love with his dead fiance. The man had clearly never let himself fully grieve, and the fact that he would occasionally speak about Roach as though he were still alive only told Soap that for certain. The fact that he'd accidentally called Soap the other man's name on several occasions, with an immediate apology afterward, also made it clear that the man was still grieving.
So, he was in love with Ghost but Ghost was still in love with a dead man. He couldn't offer much in the way of helping Ghost to grieve, but he could do what he could to protect him. If that meant fighting off people who tried to get to his LT by pretending to be a dead man, than Soap would do it.
"Hey, Soap!" Soap stopped from where he'd been walking to meet with Price to discuss his and Ghost's next mission. He recognized the man who called out to him, he worked in the visitors center. That was why it surprised Soap so much when the other man asked, "Have you seen Ghost?"
Soap wrinkled his brows, "I think LT is in his office." The man had given him a nod and moved to go past him, Soap stopped him with a hand around his arm, "Why do you ask?"
The other man shrugged him off, "He has a visitor, guy said he was Ghost's fiance."
Soap felt himself freeze as he watched the other man walk away from him, headed toward Ghost's office. Something was clearly wrong. Ghost's fiance, Roach, he was dead. That meant that whoever was outside claiming to be him, was someone who was actually here to get to Ghost somehow. Potentially there to hurt him. Soap wasn't going to let them get the chance.
With that thought in mind, he turned quickly marching his way toward the visitors center with anger burning in his chest. How dare someone try to use Ghost's grief to get to him? How dare someone pretend to be a dead man, a dead man who deserved to rest.
He spotted the man as soon as he walked into the visitors center, he knew it had to be him because he was the only other person in the room. He was a shorter man with messy hair and soft brown eyes and if Soap wasn't so pissed that this man was impersonating his friend and crushes dead partner, he would have noted how good looking the man was.
As it stood, he marched toward the man, calling, "Hey, you Ghost's fiance?"
The other man turned to him, startled. Soap watched as his eyebrows furrowed together, confusion and a bit of trepidation on his face. Soap expected that, after all, he hadn't sounded too nice when he asked. "Um, yes?" The other man shifted on his feet, "Sorry, who are you?"
"I'm Soap," he went to continue, only for the other man to light up a bit, a small smile on his face as he stepped forward and cut in.
"Oh! Hi, it's so nice to finally meet you! Ghost has told me about you," He gave the man a soft smile and Soap found his fists clenching at his sides as the man added, "I'm Roach!"
Soap glared at him, "I don't know what game you're playing at," the surprise on the other man's face returned, "But you aren't Roach."
The man shook his head slowly, his mouth falling open slightly as he responded, "I'm sorry? I am Roach, I'm Ghost's fiance. He has told you about me, right?"
"Roach is dead," Soap bit out, "So I don't know what you're trying to do, but you should stop. I'm not letting anyone fuck with Ghost like this, it's just cruel."
The other man stared at him blankly, his eyes wide and his mouth dropped open a bit. He seemed genuinely shocked by Soap's words, as though he hadn't known that Roach was dead. Soap felt a little smug at catching the other man out. "Simon," the man stuttered after a moment, "Did he tell you I was dead?"
Soap felt anger burn through him again, was this guy really going to keep trying it? "Listen," Soap started with annoyance tinting his words, "You need to-"
"Roach?" Soap froze, as Ghost's confused voice rang out around the room. He turned just a bit, just enough that he could see Ghost's furrowed brows as he stared at the two men in front of him. "Soap? What are you doing here?"
The man behind him pushed forward, his face fixed into something rough as he asked, "Simon, did you tell your team that I was dead?!"
Ghost seemed taken aback by the question, his eyes widening as he shook his head, "No? Of course not, why would I do that?"
Soap turned to the man next to him wildly then, "Wait you're actually Roach? You were telling the truth?"
The man, Roach apparently, nodded to him rapidly, "Of course I was telling the truth! Why did you think I was dead?"
"You thought Roach was dead?" Both of the men's attention turned fully to Soap and he found himself flushing red, cool embarrassment running through his system.
He stuttered for a moment, trying to explain himself, "Ghost only wears one of your dog tags and that usually means the person is dead, I looked it up! And," he wheeled around to point at Ghost, "You kept talking about him like he was dead! All of the 'Roach wanted to go to Scotland, never got around to it' type of stuff didn't help me!"
"Roach did want to go to Scotland," Ghost stressed, stepping closer to him, "He just hasn't mentioned it in a while which is why I said 'wanted,' not because he was dead!"
"I still want to go to Scotland!"
Soap turned to Roach with wide eyes. He'd potentially just made the worst first impression that he ever could with someone. "I am so sorry! I really thought you were dead!"
A moment passed where Roach just stared at him before, to his surprise, the man gave a small laugh. He covered his mouth with his hand to try and hide it, but Soap could still see the mirth in his eyes and he flushed red again. "It's okay," he gave another laugh, "I'm actually kind pleased to know that you were ready to punch someone out for impersonating dead me." He gave another laugh, the sound of it flowing through Soap and warming him considerably.
Ghost made his way over to the two fully, rolling his eyes as he did, "Next time you think someone is impersonating one of my dead loved ones, MacTavish, just let me handle it." Soap watched him wrap an arm around Roach, tugging him closer. He watched the man tug his mask up and lean down to connect his lips to Roach's, a small smile on his face as he did. Soap watched them, his chest panging oddly at the sight.
"Right," he muttered out lowly, "Sorry."
"Hey," Roach pulled away from Ghost suddenly, beaming at Soap with a bright grin, "I'm taking Ghost out for lunch later, why don't you come with us? Could get to know the not dead version of me."
Soap felt warm at the offer, something in him pulling pleasantly at the idea of spending some time with not only Ghost, but Roach as well. "I wouldn't want to intrude," he spoke carefully.
Roach was quick to wave him off, "You wouldn't be intruding, silly. I invited you! Come with us?"
Soap stared at him for a moment, mapping out the lines of his face and just how attractive Ghost's fiance (not dead) really was. Finally he gave a nod, feeling hot all over as he responded, "Okay, yeah. Sure."
Roach gave him another one of those beaming grins and he could have sworn he felt his heart stutter over in his chest. "Excellent! Meet us by the parking lot in an hour, yeah?"
Soap gave a simple nod to the two men before watching them retreat further into the base, Ghost's arm still wrapped around Roach as they walked. Soap could see Roach talking animatedly to Ghost from where he stood.
Soap realized that the two things that had been almost fact to him for the past several months needed to be revised. He was in love with Ghost and Ghost was still in love with his dead fiance, Roach. Those weren't true anymore.
Soap knew better now. He knew the truth. Soap knew three things: he was in love with Ghost, Ghost's fiance was alive and unbelievably attractive, and he was absolutely whipped for two men who were dating one another. He thought he might add a fourth thing to that list as well: he was absolutely fucked.
NEVER EVER DOUBT ME AGAIN I WOULD NEVER WRITE DEAD ROACH ARE YOU GUYS CRAZY???????
FUCK THE ROACH IS GHOST'S DEAD FIANCE TROPE, ITS BEEN DONE, ITS DEAD, I'M KILLING IT GET THAT SHIT OUT OF HERE
RAHHHH SOAP/GHOST/ROACH FOREVER RAHHHH HIMBO SOAP RIGHTS RAHHHHH
#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#ghost x soap#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghoap#gary roach sanderson#roach x ghost#ghostroach#ghostroachsoap#soaproach#soaproachghost#call of duty fanfic#call of duty#cod
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I'm always playing catchup I stg... day 5, relationships. I let my followers vote on whether I'd reveal spoilery oc lore during this week and they voted yeas 👍 these two characters are Ash and End, primordial god siblings whos childhood squabble ruins everything for everyone. Deeper lore under the cut
Every narrative I have is connected through a singular setting: the Ether, the overarching plane of existence that everything exists within. The Ether is the body of the first sapient entity, the Beginning, whose dying breath would breathe new life into their dead body. From their flesh arose new souls, the first of which was Ash. Ash—the Middle—was their inheritor and overseer of all creation. More primordial concept-deities came after them, like Time and Space and so on, until their final sibling was born. End—the concept of senescence—would one day devour the Ether and then become a new Beginning, and so the cycle would continue.
Ash hated End for what they perceived as preferential treatment from their absent parent; End would one day grow to overpower the other deities and outlive them. The two siblings quarreled and bickered with each other for eons until one day, their argument reaching a head, Ash struck out and killed End. They hadn't intended to, because no one knew that gods could die. The End shattered into trillions of non-sapient soul fragments, out of the perception of the gods. However, in their death throes they lashed out and split Ash in two. These two new halves, Ink and Paint—gods of darkness and light—would go on to rule over creation like they'd intended. Later, they would drift into a deep sleep billions of years long.
Anyone old enough to remember End assumes they are dead, with only enough non-sapient shards of them left to enforce the concept of senescence over creation. This isn't quite true though—one large shard survived, and is hellbent on revenge. This shard is the Head, the logic centers of the ancient deity. Underpowered and almost basically mortal without the rest of its soul, the Head goes unnoticed by its divine siblings. It seeks out the other shards of the End in order to devour them and regain its lost power.
The Head has lived multiple mortal lives while searching for these shards. The primary shard it's looking for is the Heart—a hypothetical mass of pure, concentrated emotional memory. This one shard would be enough for End to reform and devour all of creation. My character Meyrin is the Head, and right now he's convinced Romsir, and unrelated mortal, is the Heart. Meyrin has followed Romsir across multiple lives, attempting to either ingratiate himself to them or to outright take control over them. Most of these attempts have resulted in both of their premature deaths.
Their most recent life is different though—the collapse of a universe has threatened the integrity of all of creation, and sleeping gods are beginning to wake up. Both of them are on a time limit: Meyrin needs to devour the Heart before his siblings catch him, and Romsir needs to save their universe before everything falls apart. Neither is having a good time of it.
#digital art#ocs#oc:end#oc:ash#body horror/#gore/#teeth/#teeth horror/#eye horror/#scopophobia/#ask to tag#sorry yall this one really got away from me#but i put a lot of time into it and i actually. really like it. so i had to post it#i really dont mind adding tags im just concerned that i missed any someone would need#bweirdoctober
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I was moved to a women's shelter and let me tell how how much more fucking comfortable it is here.
For starters at the last shelter I met some people who already know who he is and already didn't like him before they saw me and that was unsettling for a few reasons but I won't go into details. I'm having a lot of anxiety tremors and there's nobody here to hold me and I'm trying to keep my head on straight and remember what I'm fighting for.
Every support worker here is a woman my age or only slightly older which makes them really easy to talk to. There are still a few "moms," but only a few. It definitely feels more like a camp than a shelter. I ate 3 healthy meals today. I took a 30 minute hot shower in a clean bathroom. I got to put on fresh clean pajamas that fit me. My bed is actually fucking warm. I'm allowed to use my own blanket. I can smoke weed in the parking lot. I'm not sleeping on a cot beside strangers and I have my own full sized locker. A little space to myself. These are all a relief because I will be here for quite a while. I'm glad they talked me into coming here.
I also talked to the courts today and they care about what I have to say about him and that's so fucking important to me. I talked with her on the phone for 20 minutes and she gave me a lot of positive feedback about options and reuniting families after safety plans have been put in place and I'm so fucking hopeful. I meet with her next week.
Guess the best place about rock bottom is that there's nowhere to go but up.
I have literally nobody left. My dad is helpful but my mom and I have nothing to talk about and I can't stay with either of them, especially if I want to get my life together in the way that I want to. My therapist and these support workers and some of the women staying here are the only people who get why I want to go back. It's so hard to talk about and if you think the stigma around bpd is bad I hope you never have to see the stigma around being a victim of dv who isn't ready to get out. Did you know victims will go back on average SEVEN times before they leave? I guess this is number two for me, but I had somewhere to go before and I genuinely believed he didn't want me anymore.
Still... This is 2 of ~7. That's just the statistics.
That's a long time for women to not have any of the support that they need. Everything is "let's keep you out" but I have had to FIND the people who say "let's keep you safe."
As hard as this is to do literally fucking alone, I am so proud of myself for being strong through this. So many times I wanted to die. So many times I wish he had killed me. And I'm proving to myself exactly who I fucking am, both who I am to myself and who I am to him. And I refuse to betray that. I made certain commitments when I went back and I'm sticking to those commitments.
I have been emailing him several times a day but he obviously isn't allowed to talk to me so he doesn't respond. I don't know if he even opens them. I'm not blocked on snapchat and that's a good indication for me that he isn't done being in my life, although my biggest fear right now is that he doesn't care even though I know that's not who he actually is. He isn't a monster, he's just spent his entire fucking life being told that he is. I don't expect anyone to understand or be supportive but I always knew this day would come. I always fucking knew what my place in his life would mean.
I really do hope he fucking learns from this. I really fucking hope he sees that I'm fighting FOR him and realises that and doesn't take it for granted because I have never been so fucking low in my life.
I have never had this level of unconditional love for anybody, ever. And if he ever tries to tell me again that I don't fucking love him then I stg he better just kill me next time.
#actually borderline#bpd#being borderline#borderline problems#borderline things#bpd stuff#bpd problems#bpd fp#bpd vent#bpd relatable#tw : dv
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no fr. the authors seem to really believe that squirrel needs to be punished over and over again for a “crime” she committed in universe years ago. like almost a decade. aren’t Jay and Lion like 7 years old?? fucking christ leave that woman alone. there’s cats in this clan born who don’t even know what happened and would reasonably not give a fuck because it’s old news. and why are they so obsessed with it! it’s tiring and annoying to read through. I’m so sick of “well squirrelflight is a LIAR and LIED to her mate and clan and the three. SHE’S SO UNTRUSTWORTHY AND NEEDS TO FACE CONSEQUENCES FOR BEING A LIAR” like okay but we did this last week and the beginning of this week. we will do this again on Friday I know, but can you give it a rest at least today
I stg if in the coming books they pull some shit like “squirrelflight isn’t actually leader uwu. she LIED about getting nine lives just like she LIED about the three. see? she’s only ever been a liar~ can’t trust her at ALL :3c” I’m releasing coked up 6ft tall chimps into the writer’s room
the entirety of squirrelflight's hope is just the narrative going "why are you treating these nobody inferior loser loners as being worthy as Not Dying as clan cats?? do you ever think about the consequences of your actions???" like yeah i'm sorry i do think it's fucking insane to 2 v 1 a group that has done barely anything but be antagonized. "they kidnapped squirrelflight and leafstar!!" and those two still got fed and were treated kindly. bramble "time to throw my weight around because my mate bruised my ego" is ready to let one of the sisters die a (PREVENTABLE) slow and painful death in front of them.
and before someone goes "well, the sisters attacked-" actually they didnt give af about that. they didn't know. the reason they were down to let them die was because they saw them as inferior for being outsiders and call me a snowflake but i think that's a bad message to tell kids <3
the fucking trial is dumb as hell. they did everything right, starclan is unreasonable. garbage ass conflict.
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PLEASE gimme more info for ur wayward royals au I beg
OKAY, LET'S GO, ONE OF MY FAVOURITE AUs
It's actually a spin-off of Fragile as a Flower because of course it is, and it isn't the only one. FaaF is like a load-bearing AU, I stg.
SO, the story goes;
Pale King and White Lady go on what was supposed to be a short diplomatic mission to another kingdom while they entrusted Hallownest to the knights, Lurien and Monomon. It was only going to be a few weeks tops, so it wasn't a big deal. They of course took PV with them as an escort, aaaand also because PK was just used to having his kid tag along everywhere with him when they could.
Their little trip doesn't go as planned when they decide to use a shortcut and end up getting ambushed. PK and PV get separated from WL, and PK ends up seriously injured. After spending a good amount of SOUL on his attacks he can't afford to heal, so he orders PV to get out of there and find the Queen and return to Hallownest safely. He was fully prepared to die there.
PV of course knew that too, they knew that their father wasn't able to fight anymore and leaving him would be an almost certain death sentence. So they weigh their options and decide to protect him against his orders. This, of course, makes him realise they aren't hollow. He doesn't have time to deal with that emotional crisis, though, as he soon after passes out due to blood loss right after PV hauled him up onto their back.
They manage to find White Lady, all the while also getting more and more tired as they lose a concerning amount of void from their lost arm and other injuries, practically leaving a dark trail behind them. The moment their eyes meet their mother's however and they know they and their father will be safe, it's like all the fight leaves their body and they instantly collapse and pass out.
They wake up sometime later, their injured taken care of and patched up. They carefully sit up, trying not to wince from pain and watch silently as their mother is finishing up taking care of their father's wounds. Not that long after that, he starts to stir and wake up himself, and White Lady has to hold him down because he tried to immediately get up despite the huge gash in his chest and neck.
He slowly comes to as she helps him carefully sit up and as the memories of what happened before he passed out return to him, the realisation suddenly hits him and he looks in shock at his child.
"You..." He gets up despite his wife's protests and staggers up to them, grabbing them by the collar. "You liar."
White Lady is confused beyond belief so he catches her up to speed on what happened. What follows is an incredibly awkward and tense silence. PV keeps their head low, too ashamed to look their parents in the eyes, but they can feel them looking at them and they want to just collapse into nothing.
They don't have time to deal with this new revelation though or the emotional turmoil of it, as during all of that skirmish and chaos they end up losing their caravan and completely losing their way. They see some lights far off in the distance and decide to head that way, hoping that it's some sort of civilisation and they'd be able to find their way from there.
The travel there is long and gruelling, they have to walk on foot and two of them have been just seriously injured. PV actually starts to fall behind and it takes a moment for their parents to realise, only taking note when they hear them fall to their knees. They immediately come back to them and realise that they can barely hold themself up with their injuries and the heavy armour weighing them down, so for now they decide White Lady can carry them until they arrive at their destination.
It takes them a few days and PV is not at all a very happy camper during all of this. The climate is extreme and the nights are cold out in the wastelands, and this combined with their inability to thermoregulate (on the account of being technically not alive) and being only dressed in a thin shirt and cloak royally fucks them over. They shiver all throughout the night and can barely catch any sleep, which isn't great when you just lost an arm and are still recovering from that, but they keep quiet and don't complain. Thankfully, their parents notice one night, and despite the tension between them they insist that PV sleeps with them so they can keep them warm. They actually manage to sleep through the entire night after that.
Thankfully, the lights they saw turned out to be another kingdom. The very first thing they did was pawn off PV's armour and any other valuable things they had on them, as they didn't have any supplies with them and needed geo. But now they have a whole new set of problems; they still don't know where they are and Pale King and White Lady never lived like normal bugs so they have no idea where to even begin with getting supplies. Essentially, PV is the only thing keeping them from getting scammed out of all of their money.
PV ends up taking off with the majority of their geo, manages to haggle for a used travel cart and gets them supplies, and convinces a stag to help them on their travels. They end up with enough geo left over for an overnight stay at the hotel because God knows they need a good night's sleep in an actual bed after all of that.
They could only afford one room however so White Lady insists that PV and her husband sleep on the bed because they're injured. PV just immediately flops down face first on the bed, just happy to sleep on something soft and warm again. Pale King and White Lady end up talking about this entire situation and PV's impurity that night, completely unaware that PV is still awake and listening to them.
The next day they head off, but they still have no idea where they are so they just pick a direction and hope for the best. Said direction turned out to be the complete opposite of where they should be going and their two weeks of planned absence turns into a year and a half of pure bullshit.
PV also continues to act emotionless and almost robotic because it's what they know and it feels safe and familiar, and acting like they normally are in private around their parents fills them with so much anxiety.
At first Pale King and White Lady are distant from PV, they still care for them but they are filled with too much regret and guilt and think that PV doesn't want them in their life after what they did. But after PV goes through a near-death experience they realise they do think of them as their parents and start acting the part after that, and they slowly start to bond.
Said near-death experience was caused by my oc who seeks out immortality through void experiments, because if I don't shove my OCs into everything I will Die and Explode like a landmine.
At some point PK also gets violently ill and his kid and wife take care of him.
BUT this post is getting long enough so if you're interested I can continue talking about the rest of the plot, these two plot points I mentioned and other small tidbits in another post
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Yo so I just noticed stg and thought to give you a heads up but tbh it's not that important =/ it's jus/t that ppl tend to fixate on these implicating/imbued lines so i thought I'd just letchu kno as a fellow togachako!!
in the line where Himiko goes on about how she hates losing Ochako,
- your translation reads as if she's saying she hates that she's losing "only" Ochako (kinda as if saying it'd have been okay if Izuku was also dying, kinda)
- slightly more correct emphasis might be like, the "only thing she hates" is that she's losing Ochako (as if anything else doesn't matter to her as much as Ochako)
And im lit only saying this bc of the placement of that "dake" in the sentence! So like!!!
THANK YOU PIKA Thank u for always being nigh impeccable w your tl! 😳 You've spoiled me lol
Actually the way I read it was that she was sad Ochako was dying alone. It would be better if they died together or, as it later turns out, if Himiko was the one to die. It would be the logical follow-up to her comment about their "competition to survive." She's talking about the two of them and the two of them only.
I might be too tired to figure out a better way to word that though. It's the most literal translation of what was said.
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Fmk Andrei Amadeo Armand
I hope u explode. Anyways. Fuck armand kill Amadeo marry Andrei. Armand is the only adult so easy choice there 😋 also armand hot and sexy. Marry Andrei but in a he is living with me now and we r legally obligated to each other sense, more like adoption then marriage actually. I just adopt Andrei I changed the rules fuck u. Kill Amadeo bcus he’s dead anyways 😕 sad. Now here is the version where I make an au where they r all adults
Fuck Andrei kill Amadeo Marry Armand. Sorry Amadeo is still dieded 🙁 sad. Anyways I’ll fuck adult human Andrei in an au where he was normal and lived his best old Russian life and never was trafficked or abused ever. He would def be big and bearded and rugged cuz he like, fights bears or whatever like his dad, but also he paints and he loves god and he’s autistic 😛 he has sm range I like that in a man. Andrei and I would get caught in a snow storm and we’d scramble to make a fire to survive then we’d lock eye as I twinkishly stare up at him while he does all the work and Id say “I know a better way to warm us up” and he’d lean in for a kiss then hed fuck me so hard and nasty we both pass out in the snow and die right after worth it. marry armand for reasons I have spoken of before in past fmks. I stg he would treat me so right he spoils tf out of his bfs he’d buy me my fucking mansion and more all for the small price of force feeding me color coded smoothies and psychologically torturing me it works out cuz I’m aroused by that. Kill Amadeo 🙁 he is dead anyway. LMFAOO I love Amadeo sm I swear but this bitch could do nothing for me. Au where Amadeo lives to be an adult and goes to school and moves out of the palazzo as intended for the other boys. I’m sorry he could never fuck like Andrei. And god damn it he would not treat me right like Armand this cunt was getting hand fed grapes half his childhood and traumatized so bad he has every disorder the other half his ass could not meet my emotional needs!! I would only take on therapist role and it wouldn’t be good for me so unfortunately he has to die 😕. Also. Amadeo does not fuck good sorry. OK OK I can not be going at it with Amadeo two bottom problem they call it. it wouldn’t work. Rip Amadeo anyways
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AAAA WANNA HEAR MY THOUGHTS ABOUT THE BAD BATCH SEASON 2 TRAILER YES YOU DO HERE WE GO
First off, the new lady?? Who?? I’m sure someone knows if we’ve seen her before or not, but I haven’t at least so that’ll be interesting.
Then Echo!!! He got so many lines aaaa <333 I’m so glad they made a point that he wants to do more to fight the empire, because he absolutely would. That scene looked like him and Hunter arguing over maybe joining Rex/the rebellion and aaa I’m so excited to see how stuff goes down.
The heist in the venator omggg, I’m so stoked for the batch to team up with Rex again and in an old venator too? Incredible. Also, the line Cid says about that being how they get a future is really interesting.
CODY. AND. CROSSHAIRRRRRRAHHH omg I can’t wait, there was so much in the little look Cody gave him like 👀 sir what are you thinking rn. I stg though if either of them die I will sob so hard. Also Cody’s lines about the empire bringing peace to the galaxy made me so sadddd, I’m really not gonna be ok with actually seeing imperial Cody.
Echo and Omega! I really hope they lean into how both Echo and Omega really want to help people, and hopefully the scene with just those two and Gungi means they get a semi-seperate mission or something!!
And then the Coruscant scenes! Cant wait to see the senate again, although I can’t say the same about Palpatine. There was also a quick shot that looked like a speeder chase up high there somewhere?? Not really sure, but I always love Coruscant cameos :)
Couple other little things: Tech racing aaa, I wonder what the tunnel he’s in is cause it looks like a sewer thing but there’s lights? Idk. And Bail Organa??? Weird new droids/people with masks? That explosion with Tech and Omega at the end?? And then the soft armor aaaa they look so cozy I love it.
Anyways, I love hearing everyone’s thoughts on the trailer rn and I just kinda had to rant abt it, I’m so excitedddd <333
But uh… does anyone else think Echo had a suspicious number of really strong lines… cause I’m so scared rn. If anything happens to my boy I would genuinely not be ok, like I’d have to take a day off 😭😭😭
#i’m so ready like i can’t wait to see my sweet boys again#they better be nice to echo tho#i will join dave filonis walls he better not hurt my boy#sw tbb#the bad batch#tbb s2#tbb season 2
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youre doing gods work w the boostle list i stg. once that drops its OVER for me. eithet that or ill just hyperfix rlly hard for a week then forget ab it. well see. is there any other dc shit youd rec or whatever while were at it.
MARTY my friend marty is doing gods work theyre helping me a lot rn remembering which specific issues of other comics they show up in before we get to the big big stuff like countdown
as for other dc stuff id rec....Well i recently finishing reading the 80s (and 60s) doom patrol comic and enjoyed it very much! im also watching the tv show and its good but the episodes are like an hour long so its like a Task to sit down and focus on. Im only like a handful of episodes in
I did not fucking care for like the first 20 issues of doom patrol 1987 and almost dropped it until i reached the grant morrison run and it was instantly so good i couldnt stop reading. Ive said this to my friends before but i would say its comparable to the works of stephen king in both the good and the bad ways. It was a good comic in the same way "It" was a good book
The 60s one is fine and i enjoyed it (it has rita! but so does the tv show so if you want to see her but dont want to read a 60s comic you can watch her there) but if youre in it for the surreal really weird storylines you mightve heard rumors of from dp the 80s run is where it all begins. honest to god id say just skip the issues until grant morrison takes over theyre so BORINGGGGG. IN MY OPINION
hm what else have i been reading OH. YOUNG JUSTICE 1998! i recently finished this one as well i dont know why it took me so long it was only 55 issues but it was SOOOOOO GOOD. i do not fucking like the young justice cartoon this comic is the superior yj media i mean just compare yj 98s kon (cool leather jacket. gay earring. undercut. tiny shades. TWO belts) to the tv shows kon (just a t shirt and jeans. ugly haircut. lame. stupid. ugly. die. Straight)
K*N -> THE COOLER KON EL
cant rec this comic enough mostly out of spite for the fact that when most people think of young justice they think of the swagless cartoon and not this beautiful team of teens. For one, the kids actually act like teens in the comic and not young adults having stupid relationship drama. Theyre sweet and stupid and care about eachother and the storylines are really thoughtful and opinionated. a lot of what im saying is regurgitated from things my much more eloquent friend monty has said about yj but since reading it for myself and now knowing firsthand i cant agree more. There was a really awesome story involving arrowette (cissie king jones) about a school shooting and gun violence. a lot of modern comics take the (pussy) centrist route when dealing with big controversies like this but they literally look to the camera and say GUN CONTROL **PLEASE!!!!!!!!**. in an ealier issue theres this funny moment where bart (impulse) zips away to stop some hunters from killing a deer and kon (superboy) is like did you really violate their AMERICAN right to shoot guns? AWESOME!!!!!!!!
also its just earnestly really really really funny. it has that sam and max style of humor which is why i think i loved it so much.
cant sing enough praises for this comic. Also in the yj show they had dick grayson as the robin for the first season? and wally? why do you hate tim drake and bart allen that much. tim kon and bart are a package deal dont separate them you bitch!
umm well that was only 2 comics i ended up recomending but i talked a lot about yj sooooo. there you go
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In Surviving the Game, are there other horror franchises that might be mentioned in your story and what about Final Destination movies? I think that Death has the ability to take on a human form at least according to the books. If Death does show up then how would they react to the Slashers/Survivors who are all immortal?
There will be at least two more horror franchises joining STG in later chapters that weren't in part 1! As for who that'll be? You'll have to wait and see 😈
So, Final Destination is one of the few horror franchises that exist as actual movies in STG, only because there is no 'proper' antagonist a person could try to mimic. Marcus has seen them all, but out of the Killers only Samara and her adopted moms have seen them.
If Death were to come up as a character, it would find them interesting. They die, and they come back. They all have one foot in both the worlds of the living and the dead.
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Thank you for being so kind! I’m always a little self conscious taking film thoughts directly to someone because they uh…Go Hard. But I also just can’t ever shut up, and it’s got to go somewhere 🙈
Your point on voyeurism is interesting. I’ve never really thought about it from that angle but it’s funny, because one of my favourite shots in the movie is when the camera moves to over Max’s shoulder when they’re watching the coyotes, and Tom Cruise’s eyes are doing something unknowable but devastating as Vincent cracks open a little, and it’s obscured by the partition glass of Max’s cab. I’ve always found that obscuring to be impactful and significant and I’ve never really thought about why, or why Mann blocked it like that. In terms of the gaze, I wonder if part of the emotional power of that shot is to do with the obscuring of Vincent from ours.
In terms of ‘doomed to death for a neat narrative’ I can see how that would be the likely case for lots of films, but I’m more doubtful of it in a film made by Michael Mann. I do think watching Mann’s filmography is enriching to all of his work in a way that is different from most other filmmakers - Mann is so consistent and so preoccupied by the same themes and questions that his entire career has been a return to the same conversation. I think you can feel his respect for Vincent - He values ethics, integrity and skill, and he gives Vincent heaps of it. Even Vincent’s backstory (or lie, depending on what parts you believe) is something he shares elements of with Mann’s other protagonists who are his special little dudes who get to wear well tailored expensive grey suits (honestly this guy, Michael Mann the mind that you are). And I do think Mann is deliberate not to pit Vincent and Max against each other in terms of classical good vs bad. In another life Vincent is Max’s life coach and Max is Vincent’s therapist, and you feel that potential in them. I love their genuine, cosmic chance connection but I also love that they don’t want to kill each other - they might have to, to fulfill their own sense of duty, but it’s not their motivation. And I think Mann is careful to emphasise the luck involved in the outcome. It keeps Vincents death from being a condemnation. In a way Vincent’s death is a fulfilment of his pure dedication to his ethical structure, and in that way his integrity remains intact. Max not leaving him to die alone and unnoticed is Max coming into a fulfilment of his own, and it’s a less nihilistic ethics than Vincent’s that he embodies. In doing that, he shows up the falsity of Vincent’s belief that there is no human connection in the world, because there he sits sharing one with Max in his last moments. And genuinely, I think it’s a feeling of missed potential between them that really lingers. There’s a real loss to it.
Ok I am back to answer this ask now that I’ve seen a couple other Mann movies, I still cannot boast of anything like Mannderstanding but I stg the coffee scene of Heat alone puts collateral in an entirely new light. Also……Heat…..what a film holy shit
I love the points you make here. I started a rewatch of collateral last night and I have some thoughts, also responses to your ideas, mostly just a kinda meandering rant as a thank you for your ask
First of all…I definitely see what you mean about special little guys in grey suits. So iconic mr mann. Second of all definitely I strongly see your point about the two of them being driven to kill each other, but ultimately not wanting to at all, and that’s presented so strongly in Heat too. Their sense of ethics, and the people (or in Vincent’s case, jobs/systems) they’re responsible for, make conflict inevitable, and there’s respect and intimacy/kinship and regret that comes with being equals and opponents.
Heat to me felt like it set up a lot of ideas about the near-omnipresent conflict of love and duty, and how in a sense, love ends up always being love Despite. And people who care about each other are set against each other constantly in a thousand ways by the systems that they are beholden to. I can’t help but see that strongly in this movie too. There’s a constellation of people with character traits in common, who have a capacity for connection, to help each other or care about each other, and most of those possibilities are cut short before they can even begin. Not just Vincent and Max’s connection, but the jazz trumpeter Vincent kills (the affinity between them is pretty devastating) and there’s a lot of similarity between Vincent and Annie, too, even though they never really interact! And Fanny, whose death is shockingly sudden, feels like a Mann protagonist, and has a brief but important connection with Max.
On the topic of Annie-Vincent affinity, I really love the juxtaposition of their initial conversations with Max, because there’s so many parallels. The two of them react to Max in pretty similar ways, although Vincent’s bluntness and cynicism rubs Max the wrong way. The song choices even feel similar, the one for Vincent’s conversation in particular is striking to me, the gentleness and intimacy it gives that scene that lends it an almost meet-cute quality despite the fact that Max is a bit put off by Vincent, and Vincent misreads him (you’re a guy who does things instead of talking about them…ironically by the end of the movie that becomes true). When I first watched the film I took the similar conversation beats as a measurestick for understanding that Max didn’t like Vincent too much—but on rewatch it’s more complicated, the three of them are tied together in a way. And Vincent is close to being the kind of person Max could really like.
It’s interesting that you mention that Vincent’s backstory isn’t unique to him in the Mann filmography. I’m interested to see the other examples of it because that moment hit me so hard. The backstory itself, and the particular sequence of it, is so evocative of Vincent’s relationship with his past. It’s interesting to me how readily he confesses it—both his mom’s death and his father’s abuse—especially in combination with “I like to think of myself as his friend” in the hospital, Max’s mom talking about Max not having friends, really everything about his interactions with Max’s mom and with Max about his mom. There’s complicated emotion happening there, identification, discomfort, probably envy, a sense of connection that is unusual and overwhelming for someone as isolated as Vincent. All of that makes it simultaneously more likely for him to admit to his own past, and more difficult. (Vincent is pretty forthright. But it still surprised me that he talked about it.) And then when he says he murdered his father…that’s the crux of it, when he says he killed him, specifies that he was twelve, and then says he was kidding. That to me represents the fixation, simultaneously a fantasy and a source of horror, on killing his dad, and also an unwillingness to commit to it entirely, even to commit to the lie. The way he invokes the specter of patricide, arguably a more “monstrous” sin than anything he does in the movie, not to mention a personal murder—then walks it back. It speaks to how much he increasingly is invested in Max’s perception of him, wanting to prove his own viciousness and also disown it. It’s a devastating scene ngl. Then Max saying “I’m sorry,” Vincent saying “no you’re not”—a mixture of defensiveness and honesty. It’s also a cracking of Vincent’s persona, which has been almost disconcertingly pleasant so far despite the violent threats. Anyway I fucking love that bit
It’s interesting to me to compare the Vincent/Neil dynamic in Heat to the Vincent/Max dynamic here. They seem like they’re in conversation with each other. Definitely the final scenes are directly evocative of each other. Vincent and Neil have an immediate affinity Despite—a lot of interchanging shots where the two of them are in the exact same position, with the same expression—not to mention everything about the coffee scene. They’re very similar men with a lot of professional respect for one another, and so despite the very few direct interactions they have their connection is obvious. Vincent and Max are different men who don’t connect immediately, which works well for a movie that pairs them so often, keeping their relationship exciting and dynamic. Like we’ve talked about before, they have important aspects in common, mostly their situations as invisible outsiders with no support network, highly effective silent cogs in a wheel. And you can see in their initial conversation that idea you mention—Vincent as life coach, Max as therapist—that these are two people who maybe could grow to care about each other a lot, help each other a lot, given time. Then Vincent’s job throws a massive wrench in the works. Still they get shoved together and they grow to care for each other despite themselves, in a way that goes against both of their instincts. And they cause each other to develop in ways that ultimately set them as opponents, equals like Vincent and Neil. interestingly, through that process the kind of metaphorical “positioning” of the characters change—through most of Collateral, Vincent is behind Max, and there’s a divider between them, but in the end, the two of them are face to face.
(Incidentally I am also fascinated by the way Vincent is obscured in the coyote scene. To me it adds to this sense that we, like Max, are witnessing something we maybe aren’t supposed to.)
Max is an unusual Mann protagonist in the beginning of the film (says guy who has seen only three Mann films) until Vincent pushes him increasingly towards the commitment, drive and sheer gutsiness of Mann’s idea of the masculine hero. To your point about Max’s code of ethics, the one you describe that he develops through the movie and fulfills by shooting Vincent and then staying with him while he dies….his ethical structure in the end seems to me to be the movie’s response to Vincent’s own code, which relies on detachment, the idea that no one cares about random death, so neither should he. The care Max holds for Vincent (like the care the audience holds for Vincent) happens against all odds, but it is there, and it proves something that’s inherently contradictory to Vincent’s ethical structure. Which is why that structure has to unravel in the end. Heck, Vincent only is set against Max because Max cares so much about a woman who rode in his cab once that he is prepared to risk his life—even kill—to save her. I love your point about Vincent fulfilling his own ethical code in the end. It’s hard to say that he failed when his job wasn’t about survival in the first place.
Anyway those are some scattered thoughts and I would be very interested to hear more of yours but also completely understand if you are tired of back-and-forth ranting lol. I deeply relate to the idea of having Thoughts and nowhere to put them and would like to say that I love getting your thoughts! And love to discuss. Pretty much always.
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A N T for that alphabet ask game
A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.
okay uuuuh i mean, obviously shadowgast i have only written like 300k of it in the past few years. im also quite the fan of ashrym/dashrym and callowmore (tho i like my callowmore on the platonic side personally). i will happily make the dirt wizards kiss ANYONE i do have a widomauk fic in the works and i have an idea for a caleb/yussa fic percolating and theres that one porny art by newt with c3 era caleb paired with ashton and orym that im just :lasereyes: yes i will one day write something for it i stg. also fun fact my First Ship for cr was beauyasha like, ep one. i got like 30 seconds into their first interaction and immediately texted cherry at like two am like PLEASE TELL ME THEYRE A SHIP and lo, they were cannon fucking incredible
outside of cr.... stucky, my beloved, especially with skinny steve because i love that sickly twink; big brother hobie creating Situations for gwen and miles (its hard being wingman to two people when you want them to kiss each other and also theyre idiots); kylux, obvs; rey/finn/poe/rose in basically any combination (i wish i didnt have One Hyperfixation Only type adhd because i would LOVE to write my rey/finn/rose idea where rey and rose are mechanics and finn is having car trouble and then they double team him in the office dont ask me why they have straps in the filing cabinet this is pwp); with hs at one point i would literally randomly generate pwp ideas. i didn't often finish them but it was a good exercise especially in characterization but i was mostly read davekat, daverose, any combo of erisolkat, and davejohn because i fukken pavlov'd myself into liking the ship lmao
shit this is gonna get long here is a read more
N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).
hhhh i am so sorry if this sounds mean but the bulk of why i dont read a ton of cr fic when i was constantly devouring kylux fic largely boils down to two things
1. the technical stuff is eeh and 2. there is just not a ton of nuance in characterization or plot
both results in me being perpetually frustrated whenever i try to read most of what i open. theres been some gems!! theres also been a lot of stuff with promise where i can tell in a couple years the writer will knock it out of the park!!! but theres also a god awful amount where i'm just like that is not how dicks work lmao
i am sure a lot of that is because the cr fandom skews a lot younger than kylux (where folks are like 20-30 on average instead of 35-50 kinda younger) plus cr has a LOT of esl speakers compared to kylux whereas a TON of kyluxers have degrees in literature or library science, so like, it makes sense that there's a difference, but it still drive me bonkers that i cant just open a fic and read it without closing it halfway through because its too one note :I
T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?
nope!! i am very ship and let ship in all regards. there are many things i enjoy (like short!essek or the idea that caleb would and probably has made out with all of his friends) that crop up repeatedly across my fic but i'm down for basically any good faith interpretation and i LOVE when someone writes a weird headcannon so well i have to steal it
there are many letters left of this ask meme if anyone else wants to send me a q!! pls enrich the mochi this is fun
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