I don’t think people realize how all consuming October 7, the war and the rising antisemitism is to most Jews right now. I was just on a five day family trip and nearly every single conversation ended up circling back to what’s going on in Israel, across the world and at home. My mom knew Vivian Silver, an incredible peace activist thought to be held hostage and I had to sit there and watch her realize that not only was Vivian murdered at her home 38 days before but that she was likely burned if it took this long for her body to be identified. I was forced to sit there and watch my mom, my favorite woman in the world, watch her face crumple. We were sharing updates, accounts to follow, venting and releasing frustrations. It is a constant unbreakable struggle right now for me and most Jews I know to not be glued to our phones, to not pay attention. Because we’ve seen what happens when we don’t. Because we can’t afford to turn our backs on what’s going on. And there’s a deep ever present grief not only for the victims of October 7th, the innocent citizens of Gaza, the hostages and also for my own personal sense of safety and security. I am also grieving what is a shattering beyond measure of my present and future trust in people as I’ve witnessed how easily well intentioned kind hearted people have decided to say nothing, publicly or privately, or who have quickly fallen into vicious antisemitic rhetoric. I’m just sharing into the void at this point but it’s been unimaginably hard on a personal level. I’m not the same person I was when I went to bed on October 6. It’s as though I’m a shadow, made of grief and anger and tiny fractured bits of hope. Every piece of joy feels as though it’s been muted because of how quickly it fades. And even the moments that last are related to my Jewish identity somehow. I am not sure where I go from here.
Have a cat gif for reading all of that
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I ONCE KNEW A MAN WHO HAD FIRE IN HIS EYES // BLOODY RIGHT HAND, HE HAD TAKEN HIS ENEMIES' LIVES
taglist (opt in/out): @shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart, @vvanessaives, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman, @celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister, @dameaylin, @killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose
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Sometimes I can’t help but remember the time my less-transphobic brother asked me in one of those quiet talking-about-life moments that if trans people are this or that gender, what gender are they attracted to?
And I was like oh! This was a question I also had when I was brand new to trans stuff! So first, gender and sexuality are different things, right, and—
And he interrupted with “I don’t believe that.”
And I was just so. Well then how the hell do you expect me to answer your question. You asked me. What do you mean “I don’t believe that.” Not even a skeptical “but what about,” just a flat no that’s impossible. So do you not believe gay men exist, asshole? With hindsight and thinking about it more I think I’d have a better idea of how to respond to that, but several drinks in at 2am on christmas eve I had nothing.
“I don’t believe that.” Okay I got nothing for you then bitch. Live in denial and confusion.
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i know many people are afraid of being rude and roleplaying as someone besides people pleaser (which is not not-understandable tho. especially for the first time players) but i think bg3 is the game that tries to motivate you not to be agreeable and obedient all the time. usually in rpg games with approval systems there are one or two characters who will approve of you being an asshole mostly for the sake of it but that's it. also actively challenging character's beliefs in most cases will just gain you a whole lot of disapproval and no actual change. meanwhile in bg3 there are many characters who will approve of you losing it in some situations and disapprove if you act too gullible and let everyone use you.
also following someone else's orders and desires every time won't get you far. if you'll blindly support your companions' initial goals (and they're very insistent and defensive about it and questioning their ideas may also naturally result in disapproval) it won't automatically get you their best ending and in the most cases it is literally the opposite. shadowheart wants to become dark justiciar real bad but if you support her on that path she'll be claimed by the evil goddess she unconsciously resisted her whole life. astarion wants to get ascended but helping him do it won't drive away his fears and just will lock him in the same cycle his master was trapped in. lae'zel worships vlaakith and is really hesitant to give up her faith and everything she was taught no matter what she's witnessed and not challenging her beliefs will make her just another sacrifice for a tyrant. if you play durge and decide to accept their father (which is also actively encouraged by durge's sidekick and, well, the other present option is an inevitable death) they'll forever lose their freedom and will become their father's dreadful instrument with no will of its own. if you decide to give gortash the netherstones as a goody two shoes you are when he asks he'll fuck you over on principle. this game lacks a truly unique completely evil run for sure. but it does reward your character for questioning other people and standing up for themself and does punish them for being too lenient when they shouldn't be
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I was wondering if you had thoughts about how Ice and Mav's politics don't fully align with their actions? There was a post where you said Ice's politics are more socially liberal than Mav's but Mav is also the one who goes out to La Jolla to hit on guys before Ice, and later again when he's broken up with Ice, but Ice only goes out with women out of fear for his honor or whatever. Same with their respective thoughts on feminism, with Mav's mild respect for Charlie (telling Ice not all women fit the stereotype) but later Ice is the one who sends Juno to Mav's Top Gun class without telling him she's a woman and Ice has a respectful friendship with Juno. I think you said Ice is vaguely on the ace-aro spectrum (demi-homoromantic) which is a sort of fascinating irony that he doesn't have the words for it whereas Mav is the one with the theories about Ice's sexuality. Though with their hypocrisies and inconsistencies this all just feeds into their characterizations of the fact that they keep divorcing their actions from their spoken words from their identities.
okay going to take this point by point
1. yes i have addressed their politics in relation to their actions before, so maybe read this post and this post before you read this one, just to see where my other thoughts line up
2. gay republicans and conservatives do exist (at the very least certainly republicans and conservatives who have gay sex in secret)
3. before maverick is a political actor he is a human being, and the characterization that we are primarily given for him is that he is impulsive and reckless and doesn’t think through his actions. As ive written about many times before—from a story construction standpoint, his thoughtlessness is his number one most important character trait. He is both thoughtlessly dangerous (his hero’s “fatal flaw;” he can’t stop himself from making bad decisions) and thoughtlessly brilliant (the navy’s best and most daring and heroic pilot). He does what he wants without thinking about it; and he makes excuses and hollow promises whenever that plan doesn’t work out (“I know better than that. It will never ever happen again;” [it happens again] “I’m not gonna let you down. I promise.” [goose dies shortly thereafter]). His thoughtless impulsiveness overrides everything else. Maybe the act of having gay sex (to address your “he gets fucked in La Jolla before ice” point) is politically subversive, but for Maverick’s thoughtless character that we are shown in Top Gun, the most subversive possible thing would be to LABEL the gay sex and think through the consequences of it. To call a spade a spade and call himself gay or bi or queer or whatever. That would be the most subversive (and with mav, entirely unbelievable imo) possible thing. That takes conscious effort of thought, something maverick is near-incapable of doing. As long as he can get away with it without thinking about it, he’s politically in the clear, with regards to his character & character arc. If that makes sense. “Don’t think. Just do.” That’s literally his motto lmfao. He represents thoughtless action as an archetype; his politics come secondary to his desires
4. Their “respective thoughts on feminism” are divided into two camps: 1. “Professional as required by the law” and 2. “Sex pest mode.” They’re naval officers in the 1980s. Whether republican or democrat, that’s kind of par for the course. How men treat women can be a performance to other men. Any respect i made them show towards women had broader, more metatextual “need to move the conversation/story from A to B” reasoning behind it. See the first post I linked for much more on that.
5. i never said ice was on the ace/aro spectrum, or if i did i DEFINITELY meant it sarcastically. That could not be further from what i believe. This isn’t something I’ve ever discussed on this blog before, but a MASSIVE part of the philosophical discussion I’ve been trying to moderate within this project over the last year is the question— “do labels even work with characters under these very specific and extraordinarily extreme conditions and societal pressures?” It’s a question I took from my time studying early American history—the contexts of certain environments, and I would definitely count the elite officer ranks of the navy in the 90s and 2000s as one of these certain environments, simply Are Not Conducive to the easier (path of least resistance maybe) ways we civilians handle sexuality and friendship and trauma. There are so many variables and external and internal pressures within an environment like the upper ranks of career navy officers that sexual orientation labels lose all nuance and accuracy. I don’t think Ice (as i have written him) is gay. I don’t think he’s straight. I don’t think he’s bi. I think he’s an unlabelable product of too many variables for labels to have any effect on how he is perceived. Which, in our society built around labels and categories, is admittedly difficult to wrestle with. But doesn’t make it any less worth wrestling with.
6. Yes, ice and mav’s hypocrisy is the linchpin of the entire story.
They’re both trying to have their cake (“honor” and moral superiority based on the harmful traditional subjective morals arbitrated by elite navy officership) and eat it too (a fulfilling relationship with the love of their lives). & the point is that they cant. they have to settle for one.
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