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#i would pay less for a month in a five star hotel back home from what im paying here per month
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Travel Planning During Uncertain Times
Travel is picking up, no doubt. But we are navigating a new world where planning for the unpredictable, more than ever, is part of the itinerary. Quandaries are prompting travellers to make adjustments, from being over-packed with snacks to paying bribes, and to dive deep into the dual reservoirs of patience and flexibility. Corporate travel agencies, hotels and other industry operators, building on what worked last year and recalling what failed, have also become wiser to coronavirus-induced obstacles and opportunities, prioritizing outdoor activities, coping with reduced capacity and promoting alternative, less congested retreats.
Even for seasoned travellers, this year will be a test run. The goalposts keep moving.
“When you travel to different countries, you have to play by all the rules and regulations,” said Mr. de Soto, who is based in Dubai. He tacked on three more nights to his 10-day vacation since the United Arab Emirates would not allow him back into the country without a negative test result.
On his 14th day, when he again tried to leave Tanzania, he was told he still tested positive. That is unless he handed over $80. Mr. de Soto’s driver spoke up, saying he had overheard the same man charge a Russian $50. A deal for $50 was struck and Mr. de Soto got his negative result.
Aside from carrying spare cash, Mr. de Soto had another takeaway from travelling during a pandemic: “You need to be very flexible.”
Do the windows open?
Wendy Perrin, who runs a travel-advice website, WendyPerrin.com, has made five round-trip drives during the pandemic from her home in New Jersey to Georgia, to help care for a relative in Atlanta who was in hospice. On the first trip last June, she stopped for gas and shopped in an attached convenience store, an experience that traumatized her.
“Many of the people inside were not wearing masks even though it was posted on the door,” said Ms Perrin, who is scrupulous about wearing one. “People from all over are walking around, breathing on the bin of doughnuts, everybody touching the coffee pot.”
From then on, Ms Perrin would look for restrooms in breezy welcome centres at state lines and eat at outdoor restaurants or drive-throughs. And that didn’t mean being stuck with fast food. She searched online for award-winning cafes and barbecue joints, ordering takeout about 20 minutes in advance so it would be ready to grab.
Ms Perrin’s husband and two sons sometimes accompanied her, and she researched lodgings with free-standing cabins and external entrances, not communal lobbies where unventilated air could be shared. She found that the windows at chain hotels were often sealed, so she preferred historic inns where the windows open and breakfast might be served in an outdoor garden. Stevenson Ridge, in Spotsylvania, Va., fit the bill, featuring private cottages from the 18th and 19th century that are spread across the wooded property.
“One of the questions I’d ask is ‘Was somebody in that room last night?’” Ms Perrin said. “I want as little of somebody else’s air as possible.” Just in case, she’d leave the door open for a few minutes to air it out. Now vaccinated, she nevertheless continues to try her best to stay out of convenience stores attached to gas stations, calling them “the scariest places on the highway.”
Farmhouse Inn, in California’s Sonoma County wine country, is another property finding itself favourably positioned to weather a pandemic, with ample land and external entrances to guest rooms. Its Michelin-starred restaurant began serving dinner outdoors for the first time in its 20-year history. Nightly complimentary wine tastings also moved outside, and spa services became open-air experiences, the doors to treatment rooms left ajar.
The practices might continue forever, said Joe Bartolomei, the inn’s co-owner. State mandates closed nonessential hotels for months in 2020 and early 2021, so he is listening to feedback as business rebounds.
“A great lesson for us has been all about adaptability,” Mr Bartolomei said. “I didn’t want to strip away amenities so I had to figure out a way to keep them available.” S’mores around the fire pit at night remain a tradition, for instance, but instead of ingredients in glass canisters and communal tongs for guests to finger, the graham crackers, chocolate and marshmallows are pre-bagged.
Bumpy, but not impassable, roads ahead
For Americans and American-owned travel businesses, international travel remains tricky. The U.S. Department of State’s website shows a discouraging picture of advisories from country to country, predominantly “Level 4: Do Not Travel.” However, the president of the European Commission, Ursula von der Leyen, recently said that Americans who have received E.U.-approved vaccines will be allowed in its 27 member states this summer.
The paroxysms of lockdowns and other tightened restrictions around the world presented obstacles to All Roads North, a Venice, Calif.-based travel business specializing in custom-designed trips. The company has detoured from a fairly even split between planning international and domestic routes for their clients to almost 100-percent domestic.
“We’ve had to change the way we operate in a number of different ways,” said Sam Highley, the company’s founder. “People want to avoid major cities and hotels with long corridors, make fewer stops, see the layout for dining at hotels that might impact their ability to social distance, stay in stand-alone cabins, cottages, ranches or private homes out in nature.”
Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons are booked for the summer, Mr Highley said, so he is steering people toward less obvious places in Idaho and the Pacific Northwest. The local guides he partners with have also learned to adjust. Naturalists will meet clients at the trailhead rather than riding together in a vehicle. A fishing guide who used to accompany guests into a shop to get flies and a license now arranges it all in advance to minimize touchpoints.
Boundless Journeys, a nature-driven travel operator based in Stowe, Vt., shrank group sizes from 16 to 12 and added extra vans, with windows rolled down, to space out passengers. The company has seen more people gravitating toward outdoorsy destinations like Washington State’s San Juan Islands, reached by ferry from Seattle and offering an agenda of hiking, sea kayaking and whale watching.
Travel Trends That Will Define 2022
“What we learned is we want to make sure all of the pieces or enough of the pieces are functioning in place to allow for a great experience,” Matt Holmes, the company’s founder, said. Still, after rescheduling hundreds of clients’ trips last year for this year, he is already seeing people postpone international July trips until the fall, expressing concern about surges in cases around the world and conflicting rules and regulations.
Michael T. Osterholm, an epidemiologist and director of the University of Minnesota’s Center for Infectious Disease Research and Policy, cautioned that the B.1.1.7 variant, first detected in Britain, is shown to be more easily transmissible as well as affecting younger people. For adults who are vaccinated, he said, “If there was ever a time for a great, romantic vacation, this is it. Leave the kids at home.”
I“I have to manage their expectations,” Jemica Archer said of her travel agency clients. “Americans like to rush, but we have to learn to relax.”
Counselling patience
Jemica Archer, who owns a pleasure travel agency (which is actually different to a corporate travel agency like TravelManor) lost almost all of her revenue in 2020 because of cancelled destination weddings and honeymoons. On a personal level, she gave up vacations to Spain and Ghana. Ms Archer is fully vaccinated and leaving soon for the Sun Palace in Cancun, an all-inclusive resort that recently underwent a $40 million overhaul.
“It’s only operating at 60-percent capacity, so I’m going now while it’s quiet. I like it quiet,” she said.
Most of Ms. Archer’s clients are expressing interest in sandy destinations rather than urban ones. Lately, she has been sending them to Beach House, an all-inclusive, 21-suite resort in Turks and Caicos. Rooms have assigned areas on the beach to curb crowding.
Patience is a quality she has learned to underscore, erring on the side of over-communicating to prepare people for last-minute changes, including curfews, after clients came back from Jamaica disappointed that they couldn’t visit reggae and dance clubs.
“I have to manage their expectations,” Ms. Archer said. “Americans like to rush, but we have to learn to relax.”
And perhaps slow down as people try to get back up to prepandemic speed. Last year, from mid-March to mid-July, Melissa Goodwin, the founder of Girl Gotta Hike, suspended her woman-oriented day hikes and multiday backpacking trips through New York’s Hudson Valley, Catskills and Adirondacks. When the business restarted, she and other participants wrongly assumed they could pick up where they left off. Instead, participants got winded much sooner going uphill, and sometimes Ms. Goodwin had to shoulder their gear. Fostering a sense of encouragement and camaraderie helped.
“After spending so long inside,” Ms. Goodwin said, “we should aim to have patience with ourselves and each other.”
.
.
Article from https://businesstravel.postach.io/post/travel-planning-during-uncertain-times
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minyardkyasarin · 3 years
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i was doing so well with working on my project until the uni decided to come bite me in the ass and remind me i absolutely do not have the money to pay for accommodation lmaooo
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whaleofatjme1920 · 3 years
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Oh god please, more cheating and angst (hoodie? Tim? 👀👀👀) Idk u just write it so good and my aching heart feels better oddly because of it. I fuckn love angst djsjsjjdjdjd
Full Moon and Being A Horrible Person
[Masky X F!Reader]
[Warnings: language, physical cheating]
[AN: i love angst too]
The full moon makes us do weird things, it’s been well documented. From the people bouncing off the walls to inducing labor, all the way to making us make questionable decisions, the full moon is to blame, not him.
It was a full moon when he caught the eyes of a woman with dark, sweet chocolate colored eyes. She looked so beautiful under the lights of the bar, yellow illuminating her skin like it was gold.
She’d been flirting with him across the bar the entire night. Wry smiles, tapping her fingernails against the glass, twirling her dark hair and giggling when he caught her eyes and by extension, her attention.
“You know Reader isn’t gonna be happy with your behavior,” Hoodie had lightly chided him before downing more of his beer. “Why don’t you let me take over? I haven’t-”
“No,” Tim laughed, pushing at his best friend’s shoulder. “It’s harmless flirting,” he finished, watching Hoodie’s expression from the corner of his eye.
“If Reader was doing this, would you consider it harmless flirting?”
Kate excused herself from her conversation with one of the ladies from the booth behind the table she and her group shared, then turned her attention to her group leader. “He has a point,” she said, grinning when Hoodie leaned over the table to high-five her.
Tim rolled his eyes and began to lazily swish his drink. “It’s nothing, I promise.”
“You mean to say you haven’t emptied your balls in a few weeks and you’re desperate,” Hoodie deadpans, breaking his blank expression when Kate loudly laughs.
“Again, he has a point,” Kate smirked. “C’mon, let Hoodie or Toby take this one. Neither of them are in relationships and are less likely to get attached.”
Tim raises a brow at Kate. “Attached? What does that mean?”
Hoodie shares a look with the woman across from him who nods at him to explain what exactly she means. “She uh,” Hoodie awkwardly sips at his beer before biting the bullet completely. “C’mon man, you have an addictive personality. Pills, cigarettes, Reader…” He trails off before Tim hisses and punches Hoodie’s shoulder, roughly. Hoodie only barks a laugh and raises his hand up in submission. “I’m right, I’m always right!” He manages to choke out through remaining giggles.
“Can we just drop it for now?” Tim growls.
Kate rolls her eyes and then pulls a face to Hoodie, who stifles his laughter just barely before she turns back to her conversation with the ladies from the booth behind her. She’s up and out of her seat following a group of them to the other side of the bar, giggling and laughing as a woman with short pink hair holds her hand and weaves her through the crowds.
Hoodie feigns innocence before standing up. “I’m gonna find Tobes, who knows what he’s doing. Tearing up the dance floor, maybe?”
Tim watches as his best friend shuffles out from his seat, beer still in hand as he disappears into the sea of people. He sighs and crosses his arms over his chest. His dark eyes scan the bustling room full of bright, rainbow colored strobe lights and too loud music only to catch a glimpse of the full moon outside. It’s tinged pink, and seems to blossom the longer he looks at it. Due to where they’re currently at in the city, he can’t see the stars - much too much light pollution. A sigh is about to escape his lips when he feels a hand brushing over his, pulling him from the light of the full moon and onto the woman he’d been flirting quietly with all night.
“Never thought I’d get you alone,” she says, voice sweet like honey and smoother than silk.
Tim thinks about his words, his group’s chiding before mentally shrugging off all responsibilities. “I know, right?” He replies, voice low and deep, something charming and sweet.
She grins like the Cheshire Cat before playfully biting her lip. “I’m just passing through here,” she begins, “maybe we could… Have a few more drinks then head back to my hotel room?”
Tim feels a slight blush come to his cheeks before swallowing it back down. He smirks, leaning into her presence. “I’d love nothing more.”
The two of them knock back a few more drinks, the woman mostly choosing fruity things and Tim sticking to whiskey. Their touches become more and more bold, and their words more lusty and obscene by the moment. He has her sit on his lap and he whispers all the nasty things he wants to do to her and she gobbles it up, giggles and soft licks to the shell of his ear driving him up a wall.
And then, he follows her to her hotel. It’s a tangle of lips smashing against lips, hearts beating in sync and hands grabbing in the most inappropriate of places. Her clothes lie on the floor before getting covered up by his, her body following in suit.
Tim takes her. He drinks her in full and has her seeing the stars that were once only gazed upon by you. He touches her in ways you’ve never been touched and allows her to touch him in ways he’d always claimed were ‘too much’ for him.
When the deed is done, he’s cuddling her much like he would cuddle you, cigarette in his mouth and bliss on his face.
Tim stayed the night.
The next morning, he’s so groggy that he doesn’t even realize he’s still got her lipstick stains on his skin. He gets back in his car (failing to realize his group had to either walk back to the temp or hitch with someone else), and heads back to the only true home he’d ever considered.
It’s a few hours to your place, but he makes it, and that’s all that matters. Your car isn’t in the driveway, so he lets himself in. A quiet stumble to the bathroom and he sees he looks like a mess. The weight of what he did to you begins to sink in.
Tim turns the shower on and strips off his clothing - the clothes still linger with her perfume before he hops in and begins to furiously scrub at his skin. Tears well in his eyes. How could he do that to you? What kind of common sense was he lacking in that moment?
He continues to scrub, slowly coming to the realization that he’s going to do whatever it takes to hide this from you - you can never know. It was the light of the full moon, people always act crazy when the moon is in that phase, and he was drunk, like really drunk.
Excuses, excuses.
The water stops right when he hears the front door open. He hears your voice. You’re greeting him sweetly, like you always do.
He takes in a deep breath. You can never know.
It was only inevitable that you’d find out, though he’s surprised you went as long as you did without knowing. Tim hid it from you for months, and he probably could’ve kept it longer if he didn’t come with you to Target when you asked. You’d always been a fan of late night store runs, and he hadn’t gone on one with you in a while… What harm could it possibly do?
A lot. A lot of harm that surfaced the truth.
“I should’ve cuffed you when I had a chance!” The woman giggled as she came up beside you as you looked at the early Halloween decorations.
You raised a brow. “Excuse me?” You looked over to your boyfriend, whose face had gone pale. “I think you have the wrong…”
“You’re a lucky girl, y’know that?” She continued, brushing off your words. “He took me to the moon.” Her voice was so sultry and decadent. “Hope he takes you to the moon as well,” she says, her fingers trailing Tim’s arm.
He pulls away from her. “W...Who are you?” He says, attempting to sound confused.
The woman pulls a face before looking in between the two of you, her dark eyes glancing and putting together the pieces. Instead of being embarrassed or ashamed, she chuckles and begins to take off again. “I did you a favor, honey,” she calls over her shoulder, hips swaying as she turns down another aisle.
You don’t want to admit it, but now you know why Tim’s been so weird lately and nicer than usual. Sure, Tim is a sweet guy, but his behavior the past few months has been OVERLY nice, and now you know why. “What was that?” You ask, eyes narrowing and tears welling.
“Nothing, let’s just pay and get out-”
“I wanna go home.”
Tim moves to rest his hand on your shoulder, but you recoil as if you’d been burned.
A huge argument ensued when the two of you got back into the car, lots of harsh words were traded. He tried reasoning with you, he tried telling you how much he loved you, he tried everything in his power but he’d ruined a good thing.
You ended up pulling over on the side of the road, slamming the breaks, tears in your eyes and turned to him. “Give me the key to my house.”
“What? No-”
“Give. Me. The. Key. Tim,” you hiss, punctuating every word with stronger venom. You held your hand out.
Tim sighs deeply and reaches into his pocket, pinching the bridge of his nose as you harshly snatch the key from his awaiting hand. “It’s not like that, you know I love you-”
“Is that what you’re calling it? Cheating on me and then lying about it for months?” You rhetorically ask, growling and seething further and further. You feel rage wracking your system as it exhausts you further and further. You can’t bring yourself to look into his eyes, because if you do, you’ll melt.
“I’m telling you, it was to protect you,” he attempts again. “Let’s just, let’s just go home and-”
“Get the fuck out of my car,” you say, drawing in every remaining and residual strength you have as hot tears scald your cheeks.
“You don’t mean that-”
“I do.”
“Reader, baby please-”
“Get the fuck out of my car,” you repeat. You squeeze your eyes shut, shake your head and then turn back to the road. “Do it before I do something stupid.”
Tim feels his heart shatter, cracking on impact as it falls deeper and deeper. He shakily runs his fingers through his hair before sliding out of your car, slamming the door shut and watches as you drive off and out of his life. He wants to scream, or cry, maybe both at the same time? He’s not entirely sure yet. He just knows his world is crashing down and there’s nothing he can do about it.
He betrayed your trust and broke your heart all for one singular night of passion.
The emotionally distraught man looks up at the moon, finding no solace that it’s full again.
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omg violet you write so well!! if you can, could you write a taehyung nsfw of while on vacation, tae's girlfriend wakes him up early with kisses and promises to do "whatever he wants" if he gets up with her and explores the city and tae holds her to that promise when they get back to their hotel starting with some steamy (private) hot tub sex?
Anon, you are awesome but you have ruined my brain. I got so carried away writing this fic, it is double the size I thought it would be. Many thoughts, head full typa situation. Thank you. This one is titled Only One. Enjoy <3
WC: 4475
Genres: Smut, fluff, angst
Tags: established relationship, anniversary dinners, tae x oc take a trip to Paris
Warnings: dom/sub relationship, dom!taehyung, sub!reader, sir kink, punishment, praise kink, use of the word slut once, colour system as a safeword, insecurity, possessiveness, possessive sex, aftercare, taehyung is very 🥵🥵🥵 in this one y’all
(*Cis female reader*)
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“Y/N, Y/N, should we take a picture over there?” Taehyung asks, batting his eyes cutely.
You smile but roll your eyes at Taehyung’s enthusiasm.
Not to be mistaken, if there’s anyone who loves their boyfriend, it’s you. You would live and die for Kim Taehyung, but there’s a special reason for your eyeroll today.
It has been only two weeks since Taehyung got off tour, and at that a world tour. You know Taehyung must be very tired from constantly travelling, hence why you let your boyfriend get his full rest the first week. But the thing is you haven’t seen your lover in a year, and you want to make some memories with him. 
You know he will get too busy once the post-tour lull passes over everyone at the company and everything goes back to regular schedule. Then, Taehyung will get sucked away by album preparations, promotions once it’s out, and inevitably: another tour.
You love that Taehyung gets to do what he loves for a living. You also love how cool he looks on stage. But most of all you like getting to spend time with him. 
To be honest, you were going to go see Taehyung in Paris during the European leg of the tour. It had been your anniversary, and the two of you had plans to get dinner together and enjoy the city. But then life happened and your plans came crashing down, preventing you from seeing Taehyung until the tour ended months later.
But past you had thought quickly, knowing the day Taehyung would return home and shifted your ticket instead of cancelling. So a week after Taehyung got home, you presented him with a second plane ticket to Paris, France that you bought last minute just for him.
You thought Taehyung would agree with making up for your missed anniversary, but Taehyung had frowned instead. “Babe, I seriously don’t want to go anywhere for a while. I’m sick of hotels and planes.”
“But I’ve never been there, baby. It would be so romantic!” You convinced him eventually, your pout winning him over. Taehyung had sighed, then called his manager to let him know.
So excited from Taehyung agreeing, you had leapt up into his arms and kissed him like crazy. “Ahhh! I’m so excited!”
Taehyung had held back a grin. “Okay. But no touristy stuff.”
You pout. “But that’s the most fun part!” When Taehyung pouts back, you try to convince him again. “Baby, I promise I’ll seriously do anything you say if you do all the embarrassing touristy stuff with me.”
“Anything?” Taehyung asked you, arching a brow. 
You took his hand, nodding eagerly. “Anything. Let’s just have fun!”
Taehyung grinned at you. “You better keep your word.”
You had kissed him, grinning at him. He watched you with a fond smile, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “You bet I will.” You vow.
It isn’t until you actually land in Paris that you realize what anything Taehyung is imagining.
For all his great qualities, Taehyung is not subtle about what he wants. Especially when he wants you.
The first three days, Taehyung lets you drag him around under the condition that you both wear disguises to avoid being noticed. You comply, picking odd hours of the day for activities that would be very busy at other times of day. You hit all the touristy spots in early mornings before the crowd, hide away in small tucked away cafes and restaurants with Taehyung during lunch hour, then spend the day browsing vintage stores for jewellery and clothes. 
It’s all fun and games except for the teasing that Taehyung will not stop. It’s hard for you to name a time of day where Taehyung’s big hands hadn’t been resting on your waist or his lips idly pressing a kiss to your cheek in passing. You know very well the game Taehyung is playing. He is slowly working you up, getting you used to his constant touches. Then, he will withdraw them, leaving you needy. 
Despite Taehyung’s teasing, the two of you still have a great time. You buy souvenirs for your friends and things for yourself. Taehyung also buys you clothes and jewellery, loving to spoil you. But what you love the most are the small establishments he brings you to, full of tasty food and where no one knows his name. You know the game Taehyung is playing, but you let him guide you to an isolated table towards the back and feed you food off his own utensils. You let him wipe the corner of your mouth for some smeared sauce, let him lick it off his thumb. Sometimes, you even get a little on your face on purpose. Taehyung notices when you do that, and lets you get away with it. After all, this isn’t a favour he’s doing you. This is your anniversary trip. He can’t be the only one getting away with teasing.
The following three days, the two of you hit the museums. Taehyung shows you around, explaining things he had seen on previous trips to Paris. You listen to him, happier to see him happy than to really look at the art. You take pictures of your boyfriend inside the museum and really anywhere it won’t catch too much attention.
Over those three days, Taehyung’s touches decrease. He reduces it little by little, but you know him well by now. Taehyung isn’t trying to be subtle, rather the opposite. He wants you to notice, to get riled up when his touch is gone. 
You tell yourself you don’t mind it, but both of you know it’s a lie. You ignore the smirk on Taehyung’s face every time you intertwine your hands or wrap an arm around his waist to guide him through the back roads. You will get back at him at dinner tonight.
After lunch on the final day, you tell Taehyung to head back to the hotel on his own. You say you are going to buy a new dress for your dinner date tonight, and that you want it to be a surprise for him. Chuckling, Taehyung just passes you his blackcard and tells you to have fun.
You buy a dark green coloured gown, Taehyung’s favourite colour, and a matching necklace and earrings set of emeralds. You smile at the sight of your ass being cupped by the silky material. This is sure to drive Taehyung mad. After all, tonight is the final night. Both of you know exactly how tonight will end.
You catch a cab to the five star Taehyung made a reservation at. You pay the taxi driver excitedly, getting out in your all new outfit, new heels, and even a new purse! You were sure to impress Taehyung.
You walk into the restaurant, telling the waiter who you’re here with. He lets you in, guiding you upstairs to your table.
You frown as you see your table. From this angle, you can’t see who, but Taehyung is talking to a woman. You approach quietly, catching neither of their attention. Luckily (or unluckily) for you, they’re talking loudly. You don’t speak much French but you don’t need it to deal with this woman. You hear her mention the word “model” and a woman’s clothing brand. You hear her repeat “model” a second time as she blatantly roams her eyes down Taehyung’s figure, then up at him. That’s the part that makes your blood boil. You know she is aware of your presence. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what kind of relationship you and Taehyung have.
But she still challenges you anyway, openly eyeing your man in public. If you could speak more French than basic small talk you would rip her a new one. 
Fuck it. You think, making your way across the room. Who needs to know the language?
“Oh, baby.” You say in a sweet voice. They both look over at you. The woman looks visibly irritated, pursing her perfect lips in annoyance. What a shame you like to flirt with other women’s men. You think, slightly in awe at her beauty. I’d like you in any other situation. “Is this a friend?” You ask.
You see a hint of a smile before Taehyung bites it back. “No, Y/N. We just met tonight.”
You smile pointedly at the woman. She frowns at you. “Ah, I see. Well, it was nice meeting you. We haven’t had dinner yet, so.” You say, pretending to be apologetic for cutting the conversation short. All three of you know you’re not, but it’s the thought that counts. Or doesn’t. You couldn’t care less.
“Colour.” Taehyung asks the minute you’re back in the hotel room. 
“Green.” 
“Poor baby. Got so angry that I took my eyes off you, huh?” Taehyung teases, hooking his fingers in the band of your underwear. He pulls back, making it snap against your hips. You whimper. “What’s that? Are you trying to say something?” Taehyung taunts you.
He cranes his head to look at you. He cups your face and makes you look at him. He makes a fake-worried face. “That’s odd, you were talking perfectly fine a few hours ago. Was it something in the food that’s making you feel sick or are you just embarrassed from being a possessive little slut in front of sir?”
His words make you shiver. He grins as he feels it against his own abdomen. “It seems like you’re really sick, Y/N. I guess we'll just have to go to bed.”
He begins to unwind his arms from around your waist, but you grab them, holding them against your skin. “S-Sir.” You whisper.
“There’s my girl.” Taehyung says proudly, rewarding you with a kiss to your temple. “Let’s talk about what you did wrong tonight, shall we?”
“I-I was possessive. I got jealous because you were talking to that model.”
Taehyung’s eyes flicker at the last word. “Oh, you heard?” He snaps the band of underwear against your skin again. You wriggle, but he refuses to let you go. “What a bad girl. Eavesdropping on sir’s conversations. What if she had been a potential colleague and you ruined everything? But you didn’t think of any of that, only your. own. feelings.” He emphasizes each of the three words with another smack. “You’re just an ungrateful little slut, aren’t you? I bet you would open your legs for any man that offered you this kind of treatment, huh?” He growls in your ear.
“I-I’m sorry.” You whisper, voice cracking.
Taehyung stops. “Colour.” He says, thumbs gently stroking at your sides.
“Green.” 
“Y/N.” He repeats more firmly. You sniffle. A tear rolls down your cheek. Taehyung thumbs it away immediately. “We don’t have to. I’m sorry. Do you want to take a bath together? We can cuddle after. Anything you’re comfortable with baby.”
You shake your head, looking away from him. “I’m really okay. I...I want my punishment.”
Taehyung turns you to look at him. He watches your face, looking for any unwillingness. He cups your face and makes you look at him. He smiles finally when he sees the familiar, hazy look in your eyes. You are already slipping into subspace.
“Follow me.” Taehyung says.
You walk behind him, still naked except for your panties. Taehyung is still entirely clothed in his suit and tie. He leads you to the fancy living room of the suite, and closes the curtains. You wait until he sits down to approach him. You observe his spread legs and the stern look in his eye. The air in the living room is freezing cold, but it only adds to it. This is one of the many things you love about Taehyung. How incredibly sexy he looks when he is in control.
Without being asked, you get on the sofa on your hands and knees. You drape your body over Taehyung’s lap, ass up in his lap. You fold your arms over the sofa’s armrest, turning your head to look at Taehyung. 
Taehyung’s warm hand caresses your ass. He kneads at the flesh roughly without breaking eye contact with you. On the outside, he looks indifferent, dark eyes sultry. He makes it look like he couldn't care less if it was you or another sub being bent to his will. But you know it’s part of the scene, that he’s watching you this intensely for your reaction and it is only your reaction he ever wants in a setting like this.
“You can safeword out if you need to.” He reminds you. You nod, putting your head against the armrest. “Count.” He tells you, before the first smack comes down.
You flinch on instinct, but his arm pins the backs of your thighs down. “One.”
Another smack but to the other cheek. You hiss under your breath. “Two.”
Taehyung gives the next three in succession. “F-Five.”
“Colour?” Taehyung re-checks. You reply green again. He delivers two more. “Six, ah, seven.”
The next two smacks are harsher. “Eight, nine一!” As you’re counting, Taehyung gives the final one. This one is the hardest of all, making the two of you sink a little lower into the sofa. “T-Ten.”
You are crying now, falling deeper into your subspace. Taehyung’s warm hands smooth over the places they hit. His voice murmurs sweet nothings in your ear, reassuring you.
“S-Sorry.” You continue to cry. “I didn’t mean to be like that.”
“I know.” Taehyung reassures you. He helps you up into a sitting position. It burns to sit on your still painful ass, but you do so anyway because it’s Taehyung who asks you to do it. “You took my punishment very well, Y/N, just like a good girl.”
You shake your head, sniffling. “I don’t wanna be ‘a good girl’, I wanna be your good girl.” You say. Taehyung frowns slightly as he wonders what that means, then looks shocked when he realizes what you’re saying.
“You are my good girl, baby.” He says softly, wiping away your tears. “No one but you.”
“But i-it was our a-anniversary dinner and you were letting her flirt with you. You just一just let her do it. And when I called you baby at the restaurant, you only called me Y/N.” You confess, giving up your fake confident act. The truth is that despite your anger in the moment, you had felt very insecure. It wasn’t like you could blame the woman for finding your boyfriend hot, anyone would. But the fact that Taehyung never said anything back and just put up with it instead of correcting her bothered you. Was it embarrassing to admit he was dating you in front of a woman who was so obviously his equal in elegance? This thought bothered you throughout the whole dinner. 
You didn’t plan on telling Taehyung about it, since he didn’t know you sometimes felt this way. One of the reasons you insisted on travelling to make up for your missed anniversary was this doubt. Maybe if you showed him around this fancy city and you made good memories with him, he might appreciate it. Maybe then it would ease your doubt of if you were worthy enough to be his.
You had never admitted this aloud to anyone, but you actually wondered If Taehyung had women in other countries that he went on dates with during tour. You know Taehyung is a good person but after all, he is a young man with sexual needs. And at that, a very attractive man who could get with just about any woman he wanted. So yes, seeing him talk to the very attractive woman had angered you, but it also made you feel like your worst fears might be true. 
“Y/N, talk to me, baby.” Taehyung pleads you, his worried brown eyes searching your face for any answers.
“...Can I ask you a question?” 
“Of course, my love.” Taehyung responds. “Ask me anything you want, baby.’
You sniffle. You play with his suit blazer. “Can you promise to not get mad at me?”
Taehyung looks like he might cry when you ask that. “I promise.”
“When you go away for tour...is there anyone else?” You watch your own tears fall onto Taehyung’s dress shirt. Taehyung looks shaken. “It might seem random but I’ve always wondered. I promise I’m not just acting up because of tonight.”
Taehyung continues to watch you, looking worried and at a loss for words. You put on a fake smile. “Sorry, it’s probably nothing. Let’s just go to bed.” 
Taehyung holds you by the waist, stopping you from getting up. “Y/N.”
“I said it’s fine. It’s okay. Really, even if you had another woman. I can’t control what you do when you’re not with me. A year is too long for a couple to spend apart anyway, it’s only natural that your feelings would change. It’s okay. Anyway,” You breathe shakily. “Anyway I’m still yours. As long as you like, of course.”
“Of course I like it.” Taehyung insists, tears glistening in his eyes. “I love you. Tell me how long you’ve felt like this.”
You hesitate. “Y/N.” There it is again, that firm tone that you hate outside of scenes. 
You look down at your hands. “Maybe two years?”
Taehyung is crying now, and he cups your face in his hands. “You’ve been thinking like this for two years? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“...I didn’t want to burden you. You’re really busy on tour.”
Taehyung purses his lips. “Can I show you there’s no one else?”
You nod. Taehyung lifts you up, and you wrap your legs around his waist. He holds you by the backs of your thighs instead of your ass, careful not to hurt you. “The bed?” He asks. You consider the feeling of the rough sheets against your sore ass. 
You shake your head. “C-Can we use the hot tub?”
Taehyung kisses your forehead. “Anything for you.”
Taehyung sets up the hot tub for both of you. He takes your panties off for you, sliding them down your legs. He kisses you deeply, sweetly. You whimper into the kiss, his tongue completely in control of your mouth. When you part, a strand of saliva comes loose. When you part far enough, the saliva ends up on your chin. Taehyung wipes it with his thumb. A darkness has entered his eyes again. “Get in. Let me show you how much I love you.”
You get in the hot tub, relishing the feeling of the hot water. It stings a bit, but it’s easier to sit then the bed would have been. You sit with your legs spread slightly, calves tucked under you and feet beneath your ass. Neat and pretty. Just the way sir likes it.
Taehyung strips quickly once you’re in the water. Your eyes roam over his beautiful body, at the hard muscle of his chest, his bulging biceps, his caramel thighs, and his rigid cock. “Come here.” Taehyung orders as he gets in the water. You do so, climbing up into his lap. He kisses you hungrily, like this is the first time all night. You are surprised at the intensity of this kiss. You cannot recall a time Taehyung has ever kissed you so passionately in your years together, even in your roughest scenes. 
“So pretty.” Taehyung growls when you two part again. He wraps one arm around your waist to press your chest against his, then attacks your neck. You gasp as he makes love bites, all the way down your neck. He has never made this many before in total, yet he makes them everywhere tonight. He litters your collarbone and the top of your chest with them, making them bloom red at first but you know they will be a deep purple shade tomorrow. “How can you not know what you mean to me, when you’re this fucking beautiful? You drove me crazy in your dress tonight, no, you drive me crazy every fucking time I see you. Maybe even since the first time I met you.”
“S-Sir.” You moan at the praise, face heating up. Taehyung pushes you back against the wall of the hot tub. You tilt your head back against the tiles as he touches you everywhere. He uses his hands to tease at your nipples, making them harden. Even as he does it, he is grinding down on you. You can feel yourself getting wetter by the second. 
“You fucking know I am.” Taehyung snaps, losing the careful composure he wears during scenes. “You’re my one and my only. Look at yourself, so fucking lewd, all worked up by my touch. You have me wrapped around your finger and you still think I’d have another woman.” He continues, cursing in between his sentences at your sweet sounds.
“S-Sorry.”
“Don’t ever be sorry.” Taehyung cuts you off. You let out moans as he starts rubbing at your clit, hard and fast. You grind against his hand. In his dom persona, Taehyung would never tolerate you doing this, but both of you are too far gone tonight to follow the rules to a T. “I will clear this misunderstanding tonight. On your knees, princess.” 
You lean on top of the towel Taehyung placed for you on the tiles. Taehyung places his own knees outside of yours, and you feel his hard cock against your ass. Taehyung eases two fingers into you, wet from your arousal that it’s an easy fit. “Nnn, sir.” You plead, grinding down on him. 
“You won’t get more until you say what I want to hear.” Taehyung says next to your ear. He presses his chest into your back, pinning you to the edge of the hot tub. “Who do you belong to?”
“Sir! I belong to sir!” You cry out, and Taehyung picks up the pace.
“So fucking pretty.” Taehyung praises, kissing the marks he left on your neck. “Only you get treated like this, understand? No woman could ever be loved like this by me. Every time you forget I will bend you over my lap and make you come on my cock over and over until you get it in your head.”
You let out a particularly loud moan at that, making Taehyung smirk. “Does my princess like that, hmm? You want to get bent over and take my cock all the time? Want me to fill you up with my come, plug you with a pretty little toy, and make you go about your day?” Taehyung inserts another finger and the stretch has you whining. “Answer me.” He demands.
“I do. Ah, fuck, Taehyung. Please. I do.” You plead, tilting your head to the side. Taehyung meets you immediately in a passionate kiss. It’s all tongue and teeth, completely different from Taehyung’s usual style. Is this really what he can do when he lets go? You wonder, getting drunk on his kisses alone. You thought Taehyung had been rough before, but it’s nothing compared to tonight.
“Turn around.” Taehyung says, withdrawing his fingers. 
He takes in your needy expression, leaning in to kiss you again like he can’t get enough of you. “Can I come in you, baby? Have you been taking your pill regularly?” 
“Yes. Yes.” You chant. Taehyung laughs breathlessly, grabbing a fistful of your hip in one hand and lining himself up to your entrance.
When he enters, both of you moan. “So good. Whose are you, princess?”
“Yours, only yours.” You answer breathlessly. Taehyung grips your thighs and lifts you slightly, allowing him to enter you more deeply. 
Taehyung abruptly picks up the pace of his thrusts. You grip at his shoulders for support, unable to stop the noises that fall from your lips constantly. Not only is Taehyung going fast, he is also going incredibly deep, rubbing right over your G-spot. 
“C-Can I come, sir?” You beg.
Taehyung nods, and you move one hand between your legs to rub at your clit. As you tip your head back, Taehyung holds himself deep inside you. Both of you come at the same time, you clench hard around him and Taehyung pumps his seed inside you. He kisses at the marks on your neck as he comes, and you dig your nails into his back. 
You move your hand to his hair once you finish, stroking it gently. Taehyung pulls back from the wall, his hand smoothing down your back to ease any discomfort you felt being pressed against it. You don’t even notice until the postcoital bliss dies down that your ass was now more sore than before. But Taehyung does. 
“Let’s take a shower.” He tells you, helping you up. You both get out of the hot tub. Taehyung runs a small handcloth under the tap. He comes over and wipes your vagina down first, then cleaning himself. 
The two of you get in the shower together. You let Taehyung wash your body down, scrubbing gently and avoiding touching your ass. You grab his shampoo off the ledge and put a good amount in your palms. “What are you doing?” Taehyung asks, surprised that you turned around while he was washing your back.
“Taking care of you.” You mumble, washing Taehyung hair for him. You grab the detachable showerhead from the side. You shield his eyes with a hand as you rinse the soap out.
Taehyung smiles fondly at how concentrated you look. “Baby, a dom is supposed to look after their sub following a scene. Not the other way.”
You shrug. You probably heard that somewhere. Your brain is too foggy right now to think. “But I want to.”
“Oh yeah?” 
“Yes.” You answer, smiling at how nice Taehyung’s hair looks now that it’s clean. “Because I belong to you.”
Taehyung lightly pecks your forehead. “And I’m yours.”
Later, when the haze of your subspace wears off, you two are laying in bed together. You’re wearing one of Taehyung’s shirts and a pair of panties. Taehyung is shirtless and in a pair of boxers. Taehyung has just finished putting lotion on your sore bottom to ease the ache for tomorrow. 
You lay on top of Taehyung’s chest, and Taehyung tucks the blankets tucked in around you. You snuggle up against his chest, content in his strong arms.
“Y/N, I know I already proved my point, but you really are my only one.” Taehyung tells you. You don’t reply so he cranes his head to look at you. Taehyung smiles fondly to notice you’re already asleep. He kisses the top of your head. “No problem. I guess I have the rest of my life to prove it to you.” He mutters to himself.
You smile to yourself with your eyes closed.
Requests are open (✿◡‿◡)
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nerdzzone · 3 years
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Only For A Moment: November [part two]
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Summary: A series of shorter one shots from Chris and Whitney’s life together throughout the pandemic. Some happy times, some harder times, some fluff and some things a little more sexy - they work through it all as they try to get settled in their new and blossoming relationship.
Chris Evans x OFC
18+
Part of the Once Bitten/More Hearts series
Only For A Moment: October + November [part one]
Note: Life is very hectic at the moment so this was edited quite quickly. I think I caught all the mistakes, but I’m sorry if there’s any accidentally left in.
______
The photo shoot the next day went amazingly well. After being out of work for almost ten months, it took me a little while to get back into the swing of it, but I hit my stride quickly once I'd settled in. It helped that I was working with people who made my job almost effortless. Sebastian and Anthony had such good chemistry and were so good at what they do that we got through the day with no hiccups and I had more than enough photos to give Marvel what they'd asked for ten times over.
When I got back to the hotel room, I was in a great mood and it was made even better by the surprise for Chris that I had with me.
"Chris?" I called out as I walked into our large suite. "I'm back!"
He lifted an arm to wave from where he was sitting on the couch, his attention still fixed on the football game that was on the TV.
"How was the shoot?" He asked. "How are Mackie and Seb?"
I smiled, knowing he was about to be very excited as I answered him.
"Why don't you ask them yourself?"
That question got his attention and his head shot around to see what I was talking about. As his eyes landed on the two men standing behind me, a grin burst onto his face.
"No way!" He laughed as he leapt up to join us. "Hey, guys!"
All of us - Chris included - had been tested several times over the last few days to make sure that we were all virus free. There was obviously a small chance that one of us could have picked it up some time after one of the many negative results, but I was fairly confident that was pretty unlikely as we'd all been as careful as possible so I'd invited them over for a few drinks. Our hotel room was big enough for us to all keep our distance anyway and I knew that Chris would appreciate the chance to catch up with his friends.
They both greeted Chris before Anthony looked around the room.
"This place is nice!" He observed. "Marvel must love you, you could fit my room in here at least three times!"
"It's not Marvel who loves me," I smirked. "It's Chris - he upgraded our room."
There was a goofy grin on Chris' face as our two guests 'aww'd' in tandem.
"That was too cheesy," Anthony teased. "But man, don't you love me too? Where's my upgrade?"
"I'll get you next time," Chris laughed. "But to be honest, I thought you'd be staying with Sebastian now that you two are a power couple."
Sebastian snorted out a laugh, but Anthony nodded his head.
"I know, man! That's what I said, but Sebastian still won't tell me where he lives!"
"Because you're so obsessed with my couch that I'm worried you'll steal it!"
"Shouldn't buy yourself a five thousand dollar couch if you don't want people to talk about it," Anthony joked, making Sebastian roll his eyes.
"It didn't cost anywhere near that much money. You've never even seen it, I don't know where you got all these ideas from."
"When are you two getting married?" I interrupted with a smirk on my face as they both turned to look at me, their confusion clear. "Sorry, you've just been bickering like an old married couple all day. I was wondering when you were going to make it official."
"That's what we should be asking you two!" Anthony turned it around. "When did this happen anyway?"
"April," Chris answered, sliding his arm around my waist to pull me close. "After a month trapped in a house with me with no other options, she was finally desperate enough to give me a chance."
"That is not what happened," I laughed. "It was more just the fact that being trapped in a house together made us finally have some tough conversations that we'd never had the guts to have before."
"Well, I'm happy for you," Anthony grinned. "And some people owe me some money because I knew you'd get together eventually."
"Wait, you were betting on us?" Chris asked. "With who?"
"Not me," Sebastian was quick to interject, but Anthony just shrugged.
"There was a bunch of us in on it," he admitted. "Downey, Pratt, Renner, Hemsworth, Paul Rudd, Lizzie Olsen, and I think even the Russos. Someone was keeping track of it, I'll have to make some phone calls."
"I don't even want to hear about this," I laughed, shaking my head. I wasn't at all surprised, they were a tight crew and there was plenty of downtime on set for them to get up to all kinds of antics, but I had no desire to hear who was betting on our situation. "So, shall we have some drinks? What does everyone want? I figured we could just order from room service."
After a brief discussion on the matter, we ordered several beers for the men and a bottle of wine for me. It arrived with impressive speed - no doubt a perk of being with a group of celebrities in a penthouse suite - and we all settled around the living room, trying our best to keep some distance between us.
We chatted and caught up, discussing what we'd done to keep ourselves busy through lockdown and when things might start to be more normal - the usual pandemic conversations. The boys were just delving into some sports discussions that were totally lost on me when I received a message from Lisa saying that Grayson was having a bit of a moment and asked if I was able to call. It broke my heart to think of him missing us so I excused myself and did as she asked.
He was crying when she passed him the phone and I felt awful, immediately filled with guilt that we’d selfishly decided to stay in New York for the whole weekend. We would have arrived home quite late if we left right after the shoot, but as I couldn't remember the last time that he’d stayed overnight with someone other than Chris or I, it suddenly seemed cruel to have left him for so long.
He was in bed already, but unable to fall asleep so I chatted with him for a bit before singing him the lullaby that I'd been singing to him since he was born. It worked like a charm and once he was out, Lisa took the phone back.
"Is he doing okay?" I asked, fighting back tears of my own. "Has he been like this all day?"
"No, no, of course not!" She assured me. "He's been totally fine, we've had a great time. He just got a bit weepy as I was tucking him in."
"I'm glad he's been having fun," I sniffled. "I hate to think of him being upset."
"He's just fine, sweetheart," she insisted. "This will be good for all of you. It's good for him to get used to being away from you two and it must be nice for you two to have a break."
"It is," I admitted. "It just feels selfish when he's upset like that."
"Well, sometimes even us moms need to be a little selfish," Lisa laughed. "And selfishly on my part, it's been wonderful having him here."
I smiled, knowing she had been quite excited about their little sleepover.
"We really appreciate you taking him."
"It's absolutely my pleasure. Now, I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing and I will see you tomorrow."
"Thanks, Lisa. I'll message you when we're heading out so you know when to expect us."
She assured me that they'd be home whenever we arrived and we said our goodbyes before I headed back out to the living room.
"Everything okay?" Chris asked as soon as I sat down.
"Yeah, for the most part," I sighed. "Grayson just got a bit upset at bedtime, I guess. He was crying and wanted to talk to me, but he's fine now."
Sensing I was feeling a bit emotional about it, Chris reached out and squeezed my hand as Anthony spoke.
"I was hoping you'd bring the little man with you. How's he doing?"
I smiled as a grin burst onto Chris' face. He went into a long, somewhat boastful explanation of just how good Grayson was doing, informing them of his extensive dinosaur knowledge and his impressive skills on his bike. It was heartwarming to hear the pride in his voice as he spoke and it was even nicer to see Sebastian and Anthony's genuine interest in hearing about him.
"They grow so damn fast, don't they?" Anthony commented. "One day they can hardly move and then suddenly they're practically BMX champions."
"Oh, no," I shook my head. "It took a good five months for me to allow him to take his training wheels off. He won't be BMX-ing any time soon."
"Well, I hear things are always scarier with the first one," Sebastian pointed out. "Maybe your next one can be the extreme sports star."
"Yeah, that's a good point," Anthony agreed. "When are you having another?"
I tossed back my last sip of wine before letting out a laugh at that question and side-eyeing Chris as I poured myself another glass.
"Did Chris pay you to ask me that?"
"No!" Anthony laughed. "But it's been, what? Four years? Seems like it's about time for another."
Chris snickered as he took a swig from the bottle of beer he was drinking, clearly feeling validated by Anthony's comments, but I just shook my head.
"We've been together for less than a year," I reminded them. "That's hardly long enough to start thinking about another baby."
"Sure, it is," Anthony shrugged. "Maybe not if the relationship is brand new, but you already have one kid, what's the harm in throwing another in the mix?"
"And we already know that we can work together as parents through complicated situations."
I shot Chris a look after his interjection because I really didn't think his friends needed to be involved in a discussion like this, but Sebastian chimed in as the voice of reason.
"It's more complicated than that though, isn't it?" He asked. "Babies are stressful and can ruin a relationship if you're not ready for it."
"Exactly! Thank you, Seb."
"What does he know?" Anthony teased. "He's never had a baby."
I rolled my eyes as I sipped my drink, trying to ignore Chris' smug face.
"If you're such a big fan of the idea, Anthony, why don't you have more kids?"
"More? I already have four!" He laughed. "That's more than enough. Hell, after being in lockdown with them, you could have one of mine if you're not ready to have another of your own."
"I think we're good with one right now," I insisted with a smile. "At least until we see where this whole pandemic thing ends."
"Alright, alright, that's fair," Anthony relented. "But just remember when the time comes, Anthony is a solid name. Or even Antonia for a girl."
"Actually," I smirked. "I do quite like the name Sebastian."
Sebastian barked out a laugh over Anthony's protests as Chris came up with a compromise.
"Sebastian Anthony Evans?" He suggested.
"Can you imagine?" I giggled. "Your fans would lose their minds. You'd have to raise him together, you could make a reality show out of it."
"That's a money making opportunity right there," Anthony grinned. "You just let me know when you need me to show up."
"As entertaining as that sounds, it won't be any time soon," I insisted before changing the subject. "What about you, Sebastian? How's your love life going? Any babies on the horizon?"
His cheeks instantly tinged pink at the attention being flipped onto him as he answered the question and Anthony’s teasing shifted to him.
-
About an hour later, after our guests left, I found myself stretched out on the couch with my head in Chris' lap as he ran his fingers through my hair. It felt so good that I was resisting the urge to purr like a happy cat when Chris distracted me with a question.
"How was the shoot?" He asked. "I just realized that I never got an answer."
"It was great," I smiled up at him. "It felt weird at first after being away for so long, but Sebastian and Anthony are such goofs. It helped me relax and get back into it."
I felt his body shake as he chuckled, no doubt knowing his friends well enough to imagine the antics they got up to.
"I'm glad it went well. Maybe now there's more projects starting up, you'll start getting more job offers again and you won't have to go so long without doing it."
"Oh, I've had plenty of job offers," I admitted. "But most of them I'd have to travel for or they just seem too risky."
Chris was clearly surprised by that confession as I hadn't mentioned any of the proposals I'd received to him, but it didn't seem important when I'd never even considered taking any of the jobs.
"Why didn't you tell me about it?" He asked. "We could have worked something out and made it happen."
"Because I didn't want to accept any of the offers," I assured him. "I don't feel super comfortable flying around the country right now and most of them had pretty half-assed safety protocols in place. This was the first one that was close by and had a clear and thorough safety plan. Marvel wanted me for Wandavision too, but I would’ve had to go to L.A. and I didn't feel great about that."
Chris frowned, his fingers pausing momentarily in my hair as he mulled over my answer.
"I get it, that's solid reasoning," he nodded. "But I'm sorry you've had to make decisions like that. I know you love what you do."
"So do you," I shrugged. "So do a lot of people who are currently out of work. I've got it pretty good, I try to focus on that."
"Sure, but that doesn't mean you aren't allowed to miss things too," Chris insisted before letting out a sigh. "Do you ever worry that things won't ever get back to normal?"
As I looked up at him and saw the melancholy look on his face, I felt a wave of vulnerability wash over me.
"Not really," I admitted. "I worry more about what will happen when they do..."
"Oh?" Chris raised an eyebrow. "How come?"
"Well, don't get me wrong, I don't want anyone to get sick anymore and I don't want any more people to die. I want to see my family again and meet my nephew and I want Grayson to be able to go to school and make friends," I prefaced my statement. "But for us, it's been really nice. We've been able to figure each other out and build our relationship without anything else interfering and I just worry that when things go back to normal, it won't work."
The hurt that flashed across Chris' face made my chest tighten. I hadn't meant to upset him, but it was foolish of me to think that my doubts wouldn't be hard to hear.
"You don't think we'll stay together when the lockdowns are all done?"
"No, that's not what I meant!"
"Well, that's what you said..."
"I said it was something I worry about," I clarified. "And I do. It'll be a lot harder when we're both working again."
"It's one thing to think it'll be harder," Chris scowled. "It's another to think we can't make it work. Are you planning on running at the first sign of trouble?"
Feeling the panic bubbling inside me, I pulled my head out of Chris' lap and sat up so I was facing him. I did want to run away in that moment - his harsh tone hurting my feelings and making my defences bubble to the surface - but I reminded myself of how avoiding our problems had worked for us in the past and tried to stay calm and explain myself.
"I'm not going to run away, Chris," I assured him. "And I don't really appreciate the way you're speaking to me right now. You asked a question and I explained my feelings, but instead of wanting to talk through that, you're immediately getting upset. I'm allowed to have concerns and all you're doing right now is making them worse."
Despite my frustrations, I kept my voice calm as I spoke and it seemed to have the desired effect as the tension in Chris' body eased slightly.
"Sorry, you're right," he sighed. "I just thought we've been doing so well, I'm surprised that you still have doubts."
"We're just living in such a bubble right now," I pointed out. "When everything goes back to normal and we're both back at work more, we'll be so busy. Balancing that with making sure Grayson gets enough of our attention, it might not leave much time for us and that would strain any relationship."
"It'll be more of a challenge than it is now," Chris agreed, his words spoken cautiously as if they were carefully chosen. "But most parents struggle with balancing their relationship with time spent with their kids. We'll just have to make the effort."
"But we have more to cope with than most parents."
He looked skeptical of that claim.
"How so?"
"Well, you'll be away a lot once you start filming things again," I reminded him, knowing that his next project had plans to film in L.A. and Europe. "And you'll be surrounded by beautiful, smart, talented women who I pale in comparison to."
"That’s not true, but regardless, I won't even look at them twice." His voice was firm and for a moment I worried that he was annoyed again, but as he took my hand in his and lifted his eyes to meet mine, he just seemed sincere. "I love you, Whitney. I only want to be with you."
"I know, I do, I know that. I love you too and I trust you, but I guess it just still feels like you being in love with me is too good to be true."
"I don't think that you do know," Chris insisted. "I'm completely committed to you. I know it's only been a few months, but it's been some of the best months of my life. What we've been doing - you, me and Grayson just hangin’ out and being a family - it's what I've been dreaming of since he was born, it's what I've always wanted. I can't imagine a future without you in it, I don't even want to think about it. I love you and I love the life we're building together."
I felt my eyes grow glassy as he spoke, my heart melting at his words.
"Wow," I murmured quietly. It was a lame response to such heartfelt words, but I was trying to process everything he’d said and, after a moment of staring into his beautiful eyes, I choked out a laugh. "That almost sounded like a proposal."
Chris chuckled and nodded his head.
"I know. Even I wondered where I was going with that for a minute there," he admitted. "It wasn't, but it's all true. I'm in this for as long as you'll have me."
He lifted my hand up to place a kiss on my knuckles and I suddenly felt ridiculous for having any doubts.
"I feel the same," I assured him. "I really do. I don't want you to think that I'm not as invested in this as you are. I just like how things are now and thinking about it changing scares me."
"It'll be different, but we can make it work."
I smiled and crawled into his laps, letting my knees rest on either side of his thighs.
"I guess I've just been spoiled these last few months," I mused, pressing a soft kiss on his lips. "I don't want to share you with the world, I want you all to myself."
Chris chuckled as our foreheads rested against each other.
"You really are clingy," he teased. "I always thought I'd be the needy one in this relationship."
"Shut up," I giggled, pressing our lips briefly together again. "And for the record, all those sweet, wonderful things you just said aren't getting you any closer to convincing me we should have another baby yet."
Chris' head fell backwards as a laugh burst from his chest.
"Alright, alright, well, it was worth a shot," he smirked. "But seriously, that's how confident I am in us. It wouldn’t even scare me if we did because I know we can handle it."
I smiled even though I probably didn't share quite that much confidence in our future. I wouldn't bet against us, but I wasn't ready to bring a baby into a situation that might not be such smooth sailing in a few months.
"We have to think about Grayson too though," I pointed out. "He's had a lot to deal with the last few months, a lot of big changes. Throwing a sibling at him on top of everything else might be a little bit cruel."
"That's true," Chris relented, looking a bit defeated for a moment until a smile slid onto his face. "He'll be such a good big brother though. He'll be so excited to teach him everything he knows."
"Him?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow. "We're going to have another boy, are we?"
"Him or her," Chris shrugged. "I'd be happy either way."
I couldn't help, but smile at his enthusiasm. It was a nice thought even if it was clearly a more distant fantasy for me than it was for Chris.
"One day," I assured him. "I love you, Chris."
"I love you too."
With a strength that never ceased to amaze me, he then stood from the couch, lifting me up with him. I wrapped my legs around his waist, giggling at the impressive feat as he carried me to our bedroom where we spent the rest of the night showing some physical appreciation and love for each other.
-
December
Tags:  @maggotzombie @moonlacebeam @mizzzpink @zaylaugh @flowery-mess @flowerjewels @njrronaldo7 @hockeychick10 @partypoison00 @theladybiers @sidepieces @firoozehmoon @patzammit @sparkledfirecracker @mytbel0st @chvntelle-99 @mjey12
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clubyukhei · 3 years
Text
in the mood for love (m)
pairing: wong yukhei x (f) reader
genre: fluff, smut, slice of life, some angst
summary: distance makes the heart grow fonder. in yukhei’s case, it makes him reminisce on all the firsts of your relationship and realise you’re the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. (or: a long-distance relationship au where yukhei savours every moment of your short reunion.)
warnings: unprotected sex, language
tags: established relationship, flashbacks, set in hk, hendery and kunten appear, drunk texting, flirty dialogue, love letters, talks of marriage, pining, a bittersweet ending
word count: 14.6k
a/n: wow, it feels weird to be finally posting this because i’ve been working on this for months. this took way longer than expected and for that i wanna thank my sweet mutuals and anons who have been so patient and encouraging :’) i hope you’re in the mood for fluff and domesticity because this fic is full of it! enjoy! (reposting again bc the original one wouldn’t show up in the tags. tysm if you’ve interacted with that post btw <3)
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--
heaven is in your eyes
bright as the stars we're under
oh, is it any wonder
i'm in the mood for love?
-
why stop to think of whether
this little dream might fade?
we've put our hearts together
now we are one, i'm not afraid
-
if there's a cloud above
if it should rain we'll let it
but for tonight, forget it
i'm in the mood for love
-- 
mornings like this are hard to come by for yukhei.
when the only sounds he can hear are the ticking of a clock and your soft exhalations. when you’re cuddled up to him, your face tucked into the crook of his neck where you breathe warm puffs of air onto his skin every few seconds. 
it’s probably just another one of those dreams that yukhei gets every now and then. the kind he never wants to wake up from, because when he opens his eyes, all he sees is the dull grey ceiling of his dormitory before his bunkmates’ noisy snores snap him back into reality. 
those mornings were the worst. yukhei would give up on going back to sleep. instead, he’d force himself out of bed to wash up and head to the canteen for an early breakfast, all while annoyed that his mind had once again translated his yearning for you into his dreams. he couldn’t help but feel like he was being mocked by his own self. 
but this time, it feels different. 
his back is resting on a bed that’s much comfier than the thin mattress he’s used to back at camp, and he’s awfully snug and cosy under what feels like a thick fleece blanket.
yukhei peels his eyelids open, ready to be met with disappointment again.
the first thing he sees is the sunrise peeking through the curtains, greeting him good morning with a dark orange glow — which is weird, because he’s always up before the sun is. even though his mind is still fuzzy, yukhei has an inkling that he’s not back at camp. so he lifts his head off the pillow and looks around. 
there’s a messy work desk between two huge potted plants; a wall fully plastered with polaroids and pictures; and a clothing rack with clothes that clearly aren’t his but it’s the bra hanging over an armchair that finally tells yukhei that he’s in your bedroom.
he looks down and sighs in relief seeing you in deep slumber next to him. you’re sleeping on your side with a hand absentmindedly resting on his waist, your head tilted as if you fell asleep while gazing at him. your eyes are closed and the look on your face is so peaceful — it’s an image that yukhei wants to keep in his mind forever. 
wrapping an arm around your hips, yukhei gently tugs you closer to him. your eyebrow scrunches in reaction and he panics a little, freezing when your hand lands on top of his. but you turn on your other side and snuggle back against his chest instead, and his lips curl into a lopsided smile at this tiny movement.
yukhei hugs you from behind, nuzzling into your hair and sighing when he gets a whiff of your apple-scented shampoo that he has missed so much. 
just like that, the warmth of your bodies wrapped around each other and the thought of getting to spend the next few days with you — in real life, not just in his dreams — lulls him back to sleep. 
-- 
yukhei would never forget the day he first met you. 
or the sight of you sitting at the back of his mum’s restaurant, sipping on a glass of iced tea as you stared out of the window and silently observed the hustle and bustle of shatin plaza. 
the fact that his usual seat was occupied and that a pretty girl was sitting in it left him speechless, but not annoyed at all. sure, it was his favourite spot. it also unofficially belonged to him, seeing how he sat there nearly everyday doing his homework — but that was years ago. 
yukhei felt like the universe had something up its sleeve when it presented him with such a scenario on a day where he finally managed to pop by his mum’s restaurant and pay her a visit. he rarely popped by on weekdays anymore because of how hectic his academic life was becoming.
“look who it is! our yukhei who keeps growing taller and taller!” 
yukhei smiled shyly as he stepped behind the counter and greeted the longtime staff — aunties who never failed to shower him with all sorts of compliments — and rushed into the kitchen looking for his mum. 
mrs wong was less than pleased when she saw her son, to say the least. the smile on her face lasted for a good minute before she started nagging about how he should’ve gone home to study instead.
“i am going to study! right after i eat.” he whined, shocked that his presence had irritated her so much.
“you always say that, yukhei. but you just play games on your phone!” mrs wong retorted, not looking away from the refrigerator.
yukhei gulped at that statement, unwilling to admit that it was quite true.
“mum, who’s that girl outside? sitting at my table?”
“your table?” she chuckled before looking up at him. 
yukhei watched her make her way towards the kitchen entrance to peek at the stranger outside.
“ah, that’s _____. she comes here often.” she said with a bright smile that even yukhei himself rarely received. “she helped us understand what the tourists were saying, talked to them in english for us a few times now. a very sweet and smart girl.”
if anything, yukhei became more attracted to you at that moment. 
maybe it’s the thought of you helping his mum out while he’s not around — he knew how rude and impatient some tourists could be with language barriers, having personally dealt with them several times — or maybe it’s just the way you entered his life that, for some reason, felt like an important moment to him. 
either way, he already made up his mind about one thing. 
yukhei ended up serving you the pad thai you had been waiting for, warmly introducing himself as the lady boss’ first and older son and striking up a conversation with you that went on longer than he had expected. 
he thought it was bad that he had to control his excitement when you suggested he take the seat opposite yours, but it only got worse as you both began to talk about everything and nothing.
when you smiled, he lost his train of thought.  when you laughed or so much as even chuckled, his chest squeezed around his heart and he wanted to keep hearing the sound of it. and when you listened to him, he had to look away because your attentive gaze on him was truly too much. 
by the time you were done with your meal, yukhei had your number saved in his phone. he offered to walk you out, opening the glass doors for you all gentlemanly as if you had just dined at a five-star hotel restaurant.
“it was nice talking to you, yukhei.” you turned to smile at him just before you stepped outside. “see you again, i guess?” 
“yeah, let’s—um. yeah, see you around.” yukhei stuttered pathetically.
you giggled and waved goodbye to him and mrs wong before heading off. the lady boss had been subtly keeping an eye on you two after her son insisted on waiting your table.
once you were out of view, yukhei sighed, cringing at how nervous he sounded. before you, he had never in his life felt that self-conscious in front of anyone.
“my dear, what was that?” his mum asked with a sly look of amusement on her face. 
yukhei wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole.
“i don’t know, mum.”
all he could think about was seeing you again. 
-- 
when yukhei wakes up again, he’s alone in bed. 
the midday sunlight glares into the room and shines on the empty spot next to him, prompting him to roll away and further into the shade. 
he lies on his side, watching some plant-shaped shadows sway across the wall for a minute before forcing himself out of bed. those extra hours of sleep did wonders for his circadian rhythm and for once he doesn’t feel tired to be awake at all — just bummed that he woke up with you not in his arms.
something in the air shifted after last night. yukhei couldn’t get over the way you jumped into his arms when he appeared at your doorstep, or how you got emotional at his shaky confession as he presented you with the promise ring he had been keeping for so long. 
he had been craving for your presence so much over the past few months that seeing you reciprocate those feelings made him relieved and somewhat clingy. all he wants is to stick by your side every second he has with you before he leaves again. 
so he gets out of bed immediately, walking into your tiny living room where he hears the sound of running water and finds you leaning against the kitchen counter with your back facing him, busily tending to the roses he had gifted you last night. 
yukhei makes his way to you fast. his hands sneak beneath your oversized t-shirt and around your waist, pulling your frame against his front as he places a kiss on your temple. 
“morning,” you say, relaxing into his touch and reaching for the nape of his neck with one hand to tug his face closer to yours. 
yukhei hums in satisfaction when you angle your face perfectly to lock your lips with his in a tender kiss and whines when you attempt to pull away. he wants to taste your lips for a little longer, he’s far from done and you know it too. 
you turn around to face him properly, abandoning the stalks of roses that had your attention earlier. a gasp escapes you when he slides his hands down to your bum and swiftly lifts you onto the counter.
“missed my baby so much,” he mumbles against the juncture of your jaw and neck, relishing in your soft sighs by his ear. 
he doesn’t miss the way your legs hook around his waist to pull him closer or the way your fingertips lightly scratch his scalp as he busily sucks at your skin, determined to leave a trail of love marks for his own appreciation. 
the doorbell rings just as he’s licking over his masterpiece, rudely interrupting the moment. 
“yukhei.” you squeeze his shoulders and yukhei forces himself to pull away.
“who’s that?” he asks, unable to hide the tone of disappointment in his voice. his hands refuse to leave your skin, his thumb gently caressing the curve of your underboob.
you giggle at his pouty lips before adjusting the short bangs hanging over his forehead that he hated despite the many times you told him he looked cute.
“i ordered brunch for us.” 
dumbfounded and still in a half-asleep state, yukhei helps you off the counter. he watches you look into the peephole before opening the door and picking up a large paper bag that had been sitting on your doormat.
“i thought you’d be hungry after waking up.” you say, setting the bag into your small dining table for two. “i hope you don’t mind, bub. i didn’t want to cook anything because, well—i can’t. i haven’t been to the grocery store this week. but we can always head there later and get stuff for the next few days.”
yukhei lets out a huff of disbelief. “baby.” 
but you don’t hear him. you’re so busy unpacking the small food boxes onto the table as you ramble on and on, oblivious to the way he was staring at you in adoration.
“i got you your favourite stuff. spring rolls, shu mai—what?” 
at last you notice how quiet he has been and you freeze, looking at him with your eyes wide in concern. 
“sit down and let me do the work, please.” yukhei pleads, dragging a chair out. “you did all that while i did nothing and slept like a log!” 
you laugh, shaking your head as you sit down. “i just dialed a number and asked for some food. and i know you really needed that sleep.”
once all the food boxes are arranged neatly on the table, yukhei takes his seat next to you. you’re in the midst of reaching for a pair of chopsticks when his hand grabs onto yours, halting your movements.
there’s a moment of silence as you curiously watch him readjust his thumb below the joints of your fingers, bringing the back of your hand towards his lips.
“thank you, baby. i love you.” he tells you with a dazed smile, placing a kiss just above where the promise ring hugs your finger. 
“you’re welcome.” 
you tell him you love him too before you bite back a huge smile — the kind that satisfies yukhei so much because he knows he’s the reason behind it.
--
yukhei couldn’t put into words how elated he was when you texted him back a few days after your slightly awkward first meeting, agreeing to hang out with him that upcoming friday night.
truth be told, there weren’t any concrete plans for your first date. it was amusing to him really, how the conversation ended right after you both settled on a meeting place, with no discussions of what to do or where to eat.
maybe you were simply excited to see him again and didn’t really care about what the plan was — because that was exactly how yukhei felt. 
the bus ride to the shopping mall felt longer than usual. yukhei found himself staring at his reflection in the window a few times, adjusting the sleeves of his jacket and making sure he looked good.
he had rushed home straight after javelin practice and taken the quickest shower of his life before spending a good amount of time styling his hair. it was not the wisest idea — choosing a late school day when there were six other days in a week where he wouldn’t have to rush — but he had been merely trying his luck when he sent that message asking if you were free. he wasn’t expecting you to actually say yes. 
so when he spotted you waiting all by yourself from afar, he quickened his footsteps amidst the crowd, never taking his eyes off of you. 
your face lit up as soon as you saw him and you waved, the crop top you wore lifting a little. yukhei’s gaze flew to the sliver of skin exposed and the nervousness that had been bubbling in his tummy earlier instantly melted into nothing.
the night went quite smoothly. yukhei could not have enjoyed himself more, from dinner at the sushi bar you had recommended to the impromptu movie session that had the both of you sharing the only available seat left: a couple seat. 
he was falling harder as he got to know you more and it scared him just how fast it was happening.
“do you watch superhero movies a lot?” you asked as the two of you turned into another alley of food stalls. 
yukhei had insisted on accompanying you back to the train station after the movie as it was getting late. he was not going to leave you alone when nightlife in the city was just starting, not when the streets were bound to get rowdy. 
“not really. i mean blockbusters are nice but i love old dramas and action flicks, you know?” yukhei answered, turning to look at you in his jacket that had been on you since he noticed you shivering in the cinema. he couldn’t help but smile at how your fingertips were peeking beneath the long sleeves.
“wait, me too!” you gasped, turning to look at him with a huge smile. “why didn’t you stop us from watching iron man?” 
“well you suggested it so i thought you really wanted to watch it!” yukhei laughed as he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. “i’m sorry.” 
“no, that’s my bad. i didn’t know what you liked so i just picked something popular.” you rolled your eyes playfully. “maybe we can watch the great gatsby next time. i think we might enjoy that.” 
next time?
it took yukhei a few seconds to acknowledge the idea of a second date that you had brought up so casually.
“r-really?” he cringed as the single word fumbled through his lips.
“yeah?” you replied, the blank look on his face amusing you a little. “we can watch something else too, if you want.”
“no!” he perked up. “let’s watch gatsby.”
eventually the two of you arrived at the train station, where goodbyes were exchanged rather reluctantly and awkwardly. yukhei watched as you took a few steps away from him before abruptly turning back around. 
“what’s wrong?” 
“your jacket!” you ran a hand through your hair abashedly. “i almost forgot! i mean i did, but.”
yukhei’s hands flew to yours before he could stop himself, stopping you from taking his black denim jacket off. 
“it gets cold in the train. you should have it.” his hands flew to his sides awkwardly. “you can give it back to me next time, it’s okay.”
“oh.” you said so softly that yukhei almost missed it. your eyes fell onto the short sleeves hugging his arms and he read your mind right away. 
“i’ll be fine. my bus ride home is pretty quick.” he reassured you. it was a lie. the weather had started getting cooler and that’s why he brought a jacket out in the first place, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle.
yukhei noticed that your cheeks had reddened a little. why were you so cute?
“okay then,” you said with a tiny smile. “thanks again, yukhei.”
yukhei landed on his bed face flat after a warm shower, absolutely exhausted and ready to hit the sack. to be fair, it had been a long day for him and it was close to midnight. 
if it was any other weekday night, he would be snoring already. but he had just sent you a text asking if you reached home already and was eagerly waiting for your reply. 
at last, after a long five minutes, yukhei’s phone buzzed a few times in a row. 
[from: _____][sent at 11:57PM] 
hey
i just got out of the shower
thx for checking in :)
and thx for tonight again, i had a good time :)
wait it’s almost 12!! 
you’re still awake? 
yukhei didn’t realise a bunch of alphabets and symbols could make him so happy. his thumb hovered over his phone screen as he began to type out a reply, but a more texts came flying in.
[from: _____][sent at 11:59PM]
well
in case you’re already sleeping..
goodnight and sweet dreams~
just minutes ago, he had been so ready to fall asleep. but the rush of happiness he experienced as he read your texts over again made that impossible now. yukhei couldn’t put away his phone, couldn’t stop himself from grinning. 
he was screwed. he knew he was, when that was the effect you had on him after only days of knowing each other.
--
“well, well, well. if it isn’t my favourite couple.” 
“sorry,” you sigh while yukhei simply shoots an apologetic smile at kunhang as he slips into the booth after you. “you know how bad traffic is at this hour.”
“it’s okay.” says ten who’s sitting next to kunhang and shoving his nintendo switch into his bag. “but we ordered some stuff first because i’m starving my ass off.”
“oh that’s great!” yukhei cheers. “i’m hungry too.”
“already? weren’t you guys just at your mum’s restaurant?” ten chuckles as he looks up, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
kunhang snorts. “he’s hungry all the time, remember? you should see his snack stash back at our dorms.” 
just before they parted ways at camp at the start of their vacation, kunhang had suggested to yukhei that they have a get-together meal with ten — the oldest of the trio who recently scored a job at a renown art gallery in town and decided to stay for good, instead of flying back to his hometown.
yukhei agreed to it, not just because he missed his friend dearly, but also because it’s been a while since all of you had a meal together. when he brought it up to you, you were thrilled at the idea of catching up with them, even if that meant giving up some of his already limited time with you. that’s how you and him ended up sitting across from his two best friends at a hot pot restaurant tonight. 
as food arrives and gradually takes up every inch of space on the table, everyone takes turns giving updates on their lives. yukhei shares memorable incidents at camp and kunhang adds on to his stories with funny anecdotes that make you and ten laugh, while ten announces that his longtime boyfriend, kun, has moved into his apartment. 
“so how’s it like living with kun so far?” you ask, ladling soup from the simmering pot in the center of the table for everyone. 
“i’m getting used to my fridge having food and my kitchen actually being used.” ten replies with a shy smile that yukhei rarely got to see. “it’s only been a week and it’s getting messy in there, but i’m not complaining.” 
“aw.” 
yukhei hears you coo, and he can practically see the look of endearment on your face even though he’s focused on all the meat you’ve put on his plate earlier. 
“and when are the two of you planning to tell us that you’re getting married?” the long-haired boy smirks, squinting at the gold band hugging your ring finger. 
the question stunts you and yukhei and kunhang nearly chokes on his sprite. the innocent smile that was on ten’s face just seconds ago was now long gone and replaced with a mischievous one.
“married?” kunhang exclaims, his voice so loud that the couple in the next booth turns over to look. thoroughly embarrassed, he presses the front of his cap down to hide his eyes. “how am i not the first person to know this, yukhei?”
yukhei sighs. where, and how, should he begin? 
as he glares at ten who’s enjoying this a bit too much, you set your chopsticks down and hold your hand out to an eager kunhang, who marvels at the piece of jewellery on your ring finger up close.
“so?” ten lets out a cheeky, high-pitched giggle at the look yukhei gives him. “did you guys just come back from telling your fam the good news or…?”
yukhei grins devilishly as he picks up a bean sprout with his chopsticks, ready to fling it at ten, but you’re faster than him. 
“we’re not—i mean, we’re getting married. eventually! not now, obviously.” you chuckle in a flustered manner.
we’re getting married. 
yukhei’s heart flutters at that sentence. he wants to hear you say that again, wants to be the one to tell his friends that. 
“you’ll be the first to know when we do.” yukhei adds, nudging kunhang’s foot underneath the table, earning an eye-roll from ten.
“well, you better.” kunhang quipped. “we’ve been talking about this for years now. it’s time you two quit playing and actually get it done.” 
“ah, so this is a promise ring?” ten cuts in excitedly. it’s now his turn to examine the ring as kunhang gets back to his food. “it’s so pretty. it definitely suits you.”
“thanks,” you beam as you pull your hand back. “yukhei got it years ago but won’t tell me when or where. says it’s a secret.”
the two boys gawk at yukhei right away and he sighs, bracing himself for what’s to come. 
“oh xuxi, you romantic baby!” ten teases, clearly having the time of his life making yukhei blush tonight. 
“so this is what you were nervous about!” kunhang scoffs in disbelief before looking between you and ten. “we were on the train back to the city and he wouldn’t shut up about being nervous for some surprise plan. and he just wouldn’t tell me what!” 
“oh my god, you guys are so cute. it’s gross.” ten shakes his head. “you’re lucky i love you both!”
yukhei smiles bashfully. he was a little embarrassed at first, but of course ten and kunhang had to make it worse. he wanted to pull his beanie over his entire face and ignore everything.
you’re awfully silent next to him as you glance between your food and your lap shyly, your hair shielding your face from everyone else. a warm rush of adoration washes over yukhei and he finds himself gently adjusting your hair, tugging a loose strand behind your ear.
“okay, that’s it.” kunhang groans, grabbing his bag and pretending to leave the table. “thanks for the meal, you guys.” 
“you can’t just leave!” ten exclaims, reaching for his cup of tea. “you haven’t asked _____ for her friends’ numbers yet.” 
kunhang stares at ten, his eyes widening and jaw dropping in horror before he starts bickering with him — a scene that has you bursting into laughter and yukhei reminiscing the good old days where the four of you would hang out at the mall for hours after class. kunhang was always so starstruck by the popular girls at your all-girls school though you weren’t close with any of them. nothing has really changed since you entered university. 
“you told me to remind you!” ten retorts. 
“not in front of everyone!” kunhang cries dramatically.
“dude. it’s literally just the four of us.” ten deadpans. “always has been.”
“anyway,” kunhang rolls his eyes as he turns to face you. “so, _____. any of your friends single again?” 
you do your best to look sympathetic before shaking your head. yukhei splutters out a laugh while ten pats kunhang’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. 
“this would be a lot easier if you were, you know, into guys.” 
--
yukhei’s first kiss with you was, for him, a long time coming. 
it happened at the end of your fifth date, after a day spent at the park. 
summer had fully transitioned into fall and the weather was cool enough for the two of you to set up a picnic at a sunny spot. everything was perfect — from the calming sounds of nature to the desserts you both brought to the cute dress you wore underneath your sweater that matched the greenery around you.
more than a month had passed since yukhei first met you. with every date, the urge to hold your hands when you walked around in public and to kiss you and finally know what your lips tasted like kept growing. 
yukhei smiled as he watched you talk about your week even though he already heard these stories since you text each other so much. your words went in and out of his ears and it was hard for him to concentrate because all he could think of was whether you liked him too.
there were moments that made him consider it a possibility, like how you surprised him with his favourite snacks after one of his javelin practice sessions or the way you would smile when you caught him staring at your face.
he was torn between over-romanticising those moments and acknowledging them as the plain and simple fact that you liked him too.
he felt it again as the two of you watched the sun set and slowly sink into the horizon across the river, the sky dissolving into hues of orange. 
the scene in front of him was majestic, but yukhei could only concentrate on how close to him you and him were. so close that your arms were brushing against each other’s, so close that you could rest your head on his shoulder if you leaned a little. 
“i like this a lot.” you said out of the blue, your eyes still fixed on the sunset in the distance. you leaned back, anchoring your palms against the mat to make yourself comfortable.
“i like you a lot.” 
yukhei couldn’t stop himself. those words had been kept inside him for too long. 
silence hung in the air as your proximity grew tense. yukhei couldn’t see your face and he was starting to think that maybe it was for his own good. when he felt you sitting up straight and he held his breath, expecting the worst.
“i like you too.” your voice was barely audible and you sounded just as nervous as he did, but yukhei heard you loud and clear.
his eyes widened as he turned to you at the speed of light. you had been looking at him nervously but as soon as your eyes met, your gaze quickly flickered towards your hands that were fidgeting with the sleeve of your sweater. 
“really?” yukhei placed his hand over yours, gently circling the back of it with his thumb. “you like me… in that way?” 
“yeah.” you mumbled, resting your head in the nook between his neck and shoulder exactly how he had pictured in his mind earlier. “i like you. a lot.”
relief flooded yukhei’s veins and he could finally breathe hearing you say the words he had so badly wanted to hear. nothing else mattered in that moment, because all he could think of was you seeing him in the same light he saw you in. 
and suddenly, everything made sense to him. how could he be so stupid, after all that had happened in the past few weeks? the way you’d remember the little details of things he told you and how you’d blush at his terrible pick-up lines? of course you liked him too. 
“what are you thinking about?” you squeezed his hand as you pulled back to look at him. 
your face had never been so close to his. yukhei could count your eyelashes and have a proper look at your lips that looked soft and velvety. everything about this moment made it impossible for him to ignore what he had been dreaming of doing.
“can i kiss you?” yukhei asked.
all he could remember was how your eyes lit up instantly, every trace of worry fading away as an innocent smile graced your face. then you leaned in and closed your eyes just as he did, your lips meeting in a long awaited kiss. 
yukhei cupped the side of your face with one hand, his thumb drawing soothing circles over your cheekbones. he felt himself sink into the feeling of your fluffy lips moving languidly against his, the way they tasted sweet like the strawberry shortcakes you shared earlier. 
it took everything in yukhei to not whine when you pulled away to catch your breath, even though the kiss was probably longer than it should have been. he could still feel the butterflies in stomach as you pressed your forehead against his and he didn’t want them to fade away so soon, so he spoiled you with a few chaste kisses in a row that left both your lips tingling by the end.
“been wanting to do that for a long time.” yukhei beamed. 
he reached for your hand that had been on his knee and interlocked your fingers — a small gesture he could now make anytime he wanted, and that made him a very happy boy. 
the sun was almost gone but even under the dim fluorescent lighting from the street lamps, yukhei could tell that you were flushing and giddy with affection like him. the golden hour casted a warm orange glow onto your skin and you couldn’t look more like the girl of his dreams. 
“i know. me too.”
the butterflies in yukhei’s stomach fluttered wildly at the sound of your airy chuckle. there was nothing that could take away the smile on his face.
-- 
yukhei did not expect to wake up to the sight of you in nothing but his camo jacket.
the lack of body heat woke him up and he found himself once again lying alone in bed and wondering where you were — but all his thoughts flew out of the window when he heard the bedroom door creak and saw you stepping back in. 
he had to blink a few times to make sure his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him and that you were indeed, dressed only in his camo army jacket.
you’re standing beforeyour dresser to examine the love mark yukhei branded on your neck the night before, oblivious to how he’s silently observing you and getting hard again. 
there’s something about the way his jacket reaches your midthigh and teasingly moves upwards to offer him a glimpse of your ass each time you lifted your hands to run over your skin that turns him on so much. and he has seen you in his t-shirts and muscle tanks many times before, but none of that could compare to how you looked right now and he has no clue why so.
maybe it’s the consecutive months of being deprived of your touch and having to picture your body as he took cold showers to relieve himself on some mornings. but he doesn’t have to rely on his imagination now that you’re here, in front of him, like a present waiting to be unwrapped and appreciated.
yukhei lets out a whine that gets muffled into the pillow, but you hear it immediately and whirl around in surprise.
“hey.” you smile lazily as you make your way back to bed, landing on your knees and crawling towards him. 
yukhei’s eyes are glued to the gap between his unbuttoned jacket, which hangs loose enough on your body to bless him with the sight of your cleavage, the smooth expanse of your body, and as he lowers his gaze — your core between your parted thighs. 
he’s visibly infatuated, and you clearly don’t entertain that as you sit on where his crotch is beneath the sheets, lying down on him to give him a quick smooch. your lips are warm and taste like lemon, which tells yukhei you just had your morning mug of tea.
“morning,” yukhei mumbles, slipping a hand beneath his jacket to rest on your back. your skin is smooth and warm under his touch as always. “this looks so much better on you.” 
“yeah?” you chuckle softly. “hope you don’t mind, it was cold.”
“i don’t mind it at all,” yukhei smiles, raising his other hand to cup your cheek affectionately. “but i need you.”
“need you to warm me up, baby.” he says, his voice deepening with the next sentence. “want you to ride me in this.” 
you’re looking down at him in a hazy gaze when your breathing pauses. you don’t answer him with words — instead, you slot your lips between his, never pulling away as you get on your knees and pull the covers off. 
yukhei sighs into the kiss at the feeling of his cock standing tall and unrestrained, desperately begging for your attention. he lets out a heavier sigh as your hand wraps around his hard length and starts stroking him with purpose.
“just like that.” he groans, his eyebrows furrowed in pleasure as his hips start thrusting into your grip. you line his jaw with kisses, making him feel pampered and content. 
“want you too.” you purr.
yukhei hears how needy you are and tightens his grip on your ass, but you’re already one step ahead of him. repositioning yourself, you let your slick folds slide against the length of his cock as you continue pumping him, lubricating him with your own arousal. 
the room is filled with desperate sighs. you’re grinding your clit over his tip when it becomes all too much for yukhei, who wants to be deep inside you already.
“baby,” yukhei mutters, squeezing your ass cheeks which elicits a loud gasp from you. “need to be in you now. please.”
the urgency in his voice prompts you to lean forward and stable yourself with a hand pressed to his chest. yukhei watches you guide his cock towards your opening before sinking onto him in one go. 
“fuck.” his throat goes dry at the feeling of your soaking walls enveloping all of him and his jaw slackens as he takes a few moments to appreciate how it feels to be buried in you.
“yukhei,” you whine. “it’s hot.”
he watches you shrug his jacket off, letting it hang past your shoulders in a teasing manner. at this point, he just wants to rip it off you. but all he manages is a guttural groan before running his hands up and down your thighs.
“you’re driving me insane, baby.”
you giggle softly at his words, the sound ringing in his ears and going straight to his cock.
“i love you.” you tell him sweetly and kiss him again. then you plant your hands flat against his lower abdomen where his abs are, lifting yourself off him until only his head is left stretching you open.
yukhei grunts when you drop back down slowly and start riding him at a hypnotic rhythm. he’s too overwhelmed to say a word, too entranced by your breathy moans and the lewd image of your chest rising and falling. 
you’re clenching around him in such a delicious way that all he can do is knead your asscheeks with his large hands and let out deep “uh-uh-uh”s. 
“fuck,” yukhei hisses as he watches you arch your back, moving you hips differently to get the perfect angle. 
“let me take over, baby.”
yukhei plants his feet flat on the mattress just as he feels a familiar tight feeling in his balls. you oblige right away and collapse against him, ready for him to fuck you senseless.
pressed chest to chest, he grips onto your ass firmly as he starts pounding into you from below. 
the scent of passion and desire wafted through the air. his cock leaves and enters you at a brutal pace, the sound of skin slapping only getting more erratic with your cries for his name right by his ear.
“yukhei…” you cry weakly as his tip nudges your sweet spot again and again. 
“i’m here, baby. gonna come inside you, you want that?” 
“y-yes. miss you filling me up.”
yukhei curses, and you reach your high just seconds before he does. your entire body shakes in pleasure before he comes into you, flooding your insides with his warm release. he groans as you ride out your high and roll your hips, the feeling of you being warm and full all too heavenly.
after a short while of nothing but heavy breathing as the both of you succumb to a blissful state, yukhei removes the jacket hanging off your elbows and rolls you over with his softening cock still snug in you. he hums in satisfaction, nuzzling his face against your neck as your fingers comb through his hair. 
“i love you.” yukhei sighs contentedly. “didn’t get to say it back just now.”
he hears you hum softly and feels a peck on his forehead. when he gains the energy to pull back and look at you, he finds your eyes already on him, half-open in adoration. 
“i’ll clean us up, okay?” yukhei asks softly, his elbows pressing against the mattress as he moves to get up. he’s sure there’s already a mess on your sheets. 
“no, don’t go.” you murmured, tightening your thighs around his hips in an attempt to lock him in place. you end up pushing him deeper into you instead, making him hiss. “stay like this for a bit.” 
yukhei notes the clinginess in your voice and the way your hands trace love patterns along the curves of his back. he lies back down, joining your lips in a deep kiss. 
“i’m not going anywhere.”
it’s so easy for him to do whatever you say, he realises. you have him wrapped around your finger because you’re just as clingy as he is — and only he gets to see that side of you.
--
yukhei had sex with you for the first time in a hotel overlooking the ocean. 
it had been his first holiday with you. every december, yukhei would fly back to his mum’s hometown in thailand with his family to visit his relatives — that wasn’t anything new. what was new though, was you tagging along after his mum had enthusiastically asked you to join them. 
the week-long trip was the most fun yukhei had in years. minus the shy introductions and teasing from his relatives who were overjoyed to finally meet his pretty girlfriend whom they’ve heard much about over phone calls, it was like a mini honeymoon for the two of you. 
after catching up with his cousins in the first half of the trip, yukhei spent all the other days ‘having fun by yourselves’ as his mum had insisted. you ended up exploring the coastal town, hanging out at the beach, and eating the local food to your heart’s content.
the highlight of the trip for yukhei though, was finally being able to make love to you. the resort stay was a godsend opportunity after the many interruptions during your steamy makeout sessions in yukhei’s tiny bedroom. it was the perfect time and place that you both needed.
yukhei swore you were a goddess as you laid on the bed with your legs spread out, your hair fanned out against the pillows, patiently waiting for him to put the condom on. 
it was his first time seeing all of you, your curves and body marks displayed to him like a work of art in a museum. he couldn’t look away, couldn’t ignore how rosy your face was from coming apart on his fingers just minutes earlier.
“is this okay?” yukhei asked tenderly, pausing when he stretched you out halfway. “can i go deeper, baby?” 
you nodded fervently though the tense look on your face made yukhei unsure. he really wanted you to enjoy this too. sensing his hesitation, you pulled him down for a deep kiss. 
“so tight, fuck—” yukhei mumbles against your lips as he pushed himself further into you, his hands caressing the underside of your thighs.
yukhei sighed, the pressure to not come quickly making him slightly nervous. it was difficult not to when your walls were warm and hugging his cock like a glove, letting him experience euphoria like never before. 
“beautiful.” his voice gentle as he gave you an open-mouthed kiss. “all mine.” 
as soon as you signalled for him to move, yukhei took charge, thrusting into you slowly as he gauged your reaction. his pace quickened after a while a combination of sighs and moans spilled from your mouth. your neck arched against the pillows, presenting him with the perfect location for a love mark. 
but yukhei was distracted. he couldn’t take his eyes off your soaking core, couldn’t get over the way you stretched open to welcome him each time his cock slid all the way back in. he had seen his fingers disappear in you before so many times, but this image was incomparable. 
“so deep,” you said breathlessly, your fingernails digging crescent moons into his back. 
yukhei looked at you. from the hair that stuck to the side of your neck to your lashes fluttered shut in pleasure, you were a sight to behold. 
“yeah?” he kissed you sloppily. “does it feel good?”
“yes—oh!” you whimpered just as yukhei’s fingertips landed on the sensitive bundle of nerves right above where you and him were connected. 
he drew circles on it with his thumb, groaning when you clenched around him. “you feel so good around me too, baby. you’re doing so well.”
yukhei’s thrusts grew uneven as he coaxed you into your orgasm. by the time he shot his release into the rubber, you came undone beneath him too, crying out in rapture one last time as your thighs shook intensely. 
a moment of silence hung in the air as your pants slowly faded into deep and slow inhalations. seeing you come all over him, because of him, gave yukhei’s ego a huge boost. it didn’t help that you were trembling in sensitivity while he cleaned you up as gently as he could and muttered praises into your ear.
“yukhei,” you called him softly and he halted his movements, worried that he had accidentally hurt you. 
“i don’t know if i can go out tomorrow.” you mumbled, covering your eyes with the back of your hand. 
yukhei instantly relaxed, a smirk taking over his face as he threw the wet wipes aside.  “we don’t have to go out, but i can carry you wherever you like.”
when you didn’t respond, he crawled over you and pulled your hand away. you avoided his gaze, looking at his chest instead. 
“i’m serious, baby.” yukhei tilted your chin up and looked into your eyes as genuinely as he could. “we can stay in all day if you want.”
“okay. sounds nice.” your hand quickly hovered over your face again. 
the smirk on yukhei’s face softened into a smile. it was amusing and adorable to him, how you could still be this shy after the night’s events. he felt as if he was in heaven and within the next second, he was placing kisses everywhere on your face but your lips. when you broke into a fit of giggles, yukhei couldn’t help but keep going. he finally stopped when your hands framed his jaw, guiding his plump lips back to yours for a short, innocent kiss. 
“thank you for being so patient with me tonight.” you paused, swallowing a lump down your throat. “it was nice even though i’m a little sore now.”
yukhei’s heart grew three times at your words.
“is that all? just nice?” he smirked. 
you pinched his bicep playfully and hid your face again, muttering something about him being so annoying. 
“i’m playing with you,” yukhei giggled, pretty sure he had hearts in his eyes as he looked at you. “love seeing you get all shy for me like this.” and with that, he pulled your hands apart and trapped them against the pillows. 
just as he was about to kiss away the pout on your lips, the sound of a door slamming shut thundered down the hallway and echoed in the room, sending both of you into speechlessness. 
yukhei put his boxers on hurriedly, rushing to the balcony and sighing in relief when he noticed the lights in the next room a distance away had just turned on — a sign that his parents, who had been out the entire evening, have just gotten back. at that moment, he couldn’t be more thankful that his plans for the night turned out well. he wouldn’t know how to face his parents if they overheard him and you, and just the sheer thought of it brought goosebumps to his arms.
“are they back?” you asked nervously, pulling the covers up to your chin.
yukhei nodded, turning the bedside lamp off before cuddling up to you. “we have to be quiet.”
“oh, we will be.” you yawned, making him smile and hug you more tightly. you responded by wiggling around in his embrace. “yukhei, i’m sticky.” 
“don’t care.” he whispered against your skin. “just wanna hold my baby like this.” 
after a few more indulgent kisses and sweet nothings were exchanged under the moonlight, you dozed off in each other’s arms.
the next morning, yukhei woke up to the sound of waves crashing onto the shore. you were already awake and sitting up with the covers wrapped around you as you silently admired the swaying palm trees outside. yukhei sat up sluggishly, planting a kiss on your shoulder. 
you turned around to return a kiss to his lips, eyes still closed when you pulled away, the intimacy of last night clearly still in the air. you opened your eyes, looking completely lost in him just like he was in you.
“good morning to you too.”
the rest of the day was slow and relaxed. you both agreed to stay in the resort, and so the afternoon flew by as you lounged by the pool and dined at the restaurant next to the beach. safe to say, the sight of you in a bikini all day led to another intimate, even raunchier night. 
--
yukhei thinks he’s ready to move in with you.
maybe it sounds a little impulsive. but that’s because there haven’t been a lot of opportunities for the two of you to live together, with yukhei studying at another university and you living in a shared apartment over the past few years. 
but staying at your apartment over these few days has given yukhei a sneak peek of life under the same roof as you, and he loves it so much that he wants to be done with his enlistment duties and fast forward to the part where he gets to share a home with you already.
yukhei wants to wake up past noon on weekends and whip up a hearty brunch with you, wants to spend the rest of the day helping you with mundane tasks like laundry and watering all your plants.
yukhei wants to be there for you on days where you’re exhausted from grad school life, when you turn down his pleas for you to take a break despite being drained from staring at your laptop screen. but he’ll massage your tensed shoulders, take your glasses off, and pull you to bed where you doze off to his soothing back rubs and soft praises of how proud of you he is and how well you’re doing.
he craves that kind of domesticity even right now as you lay on top of him, your limbs entangled comfortably and your cheek squished against his chest while your eyes are glued to the great gatsby playing on the tv.
there aren’t any plans to go out today due to the simple fact that you were both too lazy to get dressed and leave the house unless it’s for food. and probably because, though you wouldn’t admit it openly, you want him all to yourself — which is fine because yukhei feels the exact same towards you. 
the living room is hushed as you and him watch a drenched gatsby reunite with daisy in a lavishly decorated flower-filled cottage. you sit up just as the scene ends, elbowing the couch as you rest your chin on your palm.
“why are you looking at me like that?” yukhei asks. there’s an unsure look on your face that he can’t quite read.
“i think i remember.” you hold your other hand up, flashing the ring that has been making you so happy. “thailand?”
yukhei grins brightly, the top row of his teeth showing. he nods proudly, taking your hand in his to look at the ring — a thin gold band with a pale blue sapphire — and admire the way it gleams in the afternoon sunlight. 
it’s just as beautiful as the first time he saw it in that gift shop in thailand. 
yukhei remembers that day vividly. it was the last day of the trip, and both of you were shopping around for souvenirs for your friends back home. he caught you admiring a few vintage jewellery pieces by yourself as he stood in the corner of one of the many shops you stepped into that day, pretending to be interested in some touristy postcards. though it didn’t seem like much to him at first, he later noticed that you picked up the same ring a few times, looking back at it even as you walked away. 
eventually, thanks to what he could say in his broken thai, he managed to charm the shop owner into reserving that very ring for him. yukhei secretly returned for them while you thought you were waiting for him to be done in the bathroom at a cafe. he felt a little bad at first, but he knew it had to be done or else he’d regret it so much in the years to come. 
yukhei always imagined what the ring would look like on your finger. its design enthralled him when he first examined it up close and he quickly understood why you took such a liking to it — after all, anything vintage was right up your alley. little did he know it would look even more beautiful sitting on your ring finger. 
“oh my god.” you let out a huff of disbelief as soon as he finishes explaining everything. 
you’re speechless as your eyes flick back and forth between the ring and the coy look on yukhei’s face. this is the reaction he has been waiting for. 
“yukhei.” your voice is fragile, like you’re about to cry any moment. 
the smirk on yukhei’s face drops immediately. he does not like hearing his name from you like that. 
“what’s wrong?” 
“nothing,” you smile weakly, quickly brushing away the tears that escaped your eyes with the back of your hand. “i just love you so much.”
“and i’m going to miss you. a lot.” you continue before he gets to reply. “every day. all over again. i miss you already.” 
“oh, baby.” yukhei croons as he wraps his arms around you, pulling you down for a tight hug. he rubs your back, feeling helpless at the sound of your sniffles. 
yukhei knew this would happen. of course he did. he’s struggling just as much as you are to ignore the impending distance you’ll both have to deal with again — maybe that’s why he was clinging onto the idea of a future with you so tightly. 
“we’ve talked about this. the sooner the better, right? ” yukhei says sadly, finding it hard to agree with himself.
“i know, i’m just being emotional again. i’m sorry.” you chuckle unhumorously. “i didn’t think i’d get to see you before the year ends, you know? but you came back. you’re actually here and i’m so happy.” 
“and,” you prop your arm up on his chest, the promise ring once again in yukhei’s view. a moment passes as the two of you stare at it — the symbol of your love and future.
“i love you so much. i want to live the rest of my life with you, like the past few days.” you say resolutely.
yukhei is overwhelmed with happiness, love, and nostalgia all at once. suddenly he’s transported back to that park where you first kissed as teenagers, where he first found out that you liked him too. but loving someone and knowing that they love you back so much so that they want to be with you forever is something so much more special. it’s a privilege yukhei never thought he’d have. 
and now, he does. as he looks into your eyes, he realises that you’ve blessed him with that privilege, and that you’re truly the best thing that has ever happened to him. 
yukhei finds himself unable to express in words just how he feels at this moment. so he shifts your bodies around until you’re lying side by side, until all he sees is your face up close. he cups your tear-streaked cheeks before softly brushing his lips against yours, sinking in the warmth that blossoms in his chest. 
“i love you.” he says delicately when he pulls away, tugging a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “i’m so glad the universe chose you for me.” 
the fond smile on your face falters as a tear rolls down your cheek and your bottom lip begin to quiver, the violins playing in the long-forgotten movie adding more melancholy than needed to this moment. 
yukhei’s heart breaks as he watches you avoid his gaze and desperately blink away the tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. but he knows that you two will make it, that the distance is merely temporary. and he knows you know it too. what you and him have is so strong. 
“hey, look at me.” he whispers.
you turn towards him, your eyes curiously examining his face.
“i’m gonna come home. to you.” yukhei places a kiss on your forehead. “and it won’t be long. think about it baby, i’ll be out this time next year and we could be living together by then.”
“i can’t wait for that.”
“me too. you’ll get to wake up next to me everyday, but you’ll have to teach me how to not burn our pancakes for breakfast until they’re perfect.”
at last, the corners of your lips twitch and you chuckle into the sleeve of your sweater. 
“how does that sound?”
“waking up to you everyday or the pancakes?”
“me coming home. and us living together.”
“like a dream come true.”
a moment passes as you smile at each other in a placid silence. 
yukhei cups the side of your face with one hand, brushing over your cheekbone and memorising every little detail that adorned your face and made him feel at home no matter where he is. you lean into his touch, reveling in the warmth of his palm. 
the fact that he only has one more day until he will have to wait months before he gets to be with you like this again makes his heart swell in longing. so he holds you close, enjoying the moment while he still can. 
-- 
the first time yukhei told you he loved you, it was an accident — not really. 
that morning, he was awoken by a ball of fur nuzzling against his bare shoulder.
he opened his eyes, looking around the room for a good minute before spotting a familiar siamese cat that was perched at the foot of the bed and observing him with its soft gloomy eyes like it had been waiting for him to wake up for the longest time. 
“good morning, louis.” 
the cat meowed once as if announcing its disappointment in yukhei before hopping off the bed and making its grand exit by squeezing through the slim door gap.
yukhei shrugged, reaching for his phone that had been charging on the nightstand right by the bed. a quick look at the time and date on his lock screen refreshed his memory, vaguely reminding him of the events of the night before. 
he crashed against the mattress and let out a muffled groan into the pillows, shuddering at the thought of how much alcohol he had downed. he was absolutely regretting his idea of not having a birthday party, but instead an entire night of drinking to celebrate turning his legal age. 
his final hours of being seventeen were fun, though. ten, kunhang, and a couple of other friends brought him to an upscale steakhouse located in the city’s nightlife district. but like every other boys’ night out, the night eventually descended into borderline chaos. in last night’s case, they went through too many rounds of drinking games and yukhei soon came to the realisation that he was the type to get all giggly and sappy when intoxicated. 
yukhei threw the covers over himself and ignored the dryness in his throat, ready to slip back into slumber but he couldn’t. something felt off. he grabbed his phone again and there you were, smiling back at him in his lockscreen wallpaper. 
oh no.
flashbacks of how he had asked for you last night and proudly claimed that you were “the one” for him came running back to him. he quickly unlocked his phone, checking his text messages. 
[to: ♥][sent at 1:55AM]
hey baaby
baby
i miss u ;(
ii'm still with ten and. kunhang
he mahde me drink so muhch hheheehe
babyy reply me plz 
i can seee u readin all of thiks :(
i miss You
[from: ♥][sent at 1:56AM]
oh my god yukhei
are you okay?
wru now???
[to: ♥][sent at 1:58AM]
hi bab
im OK
at tens place now…
he has 2 catss. theyre so Cute 
anyway 
i need to tell u sometxhing
its rneally imbportant
and that is i love u 
u make me so happi
u r so pretttyjf n soooo smart
ur alsoreally kind.. lwiterally an angel
hdeheheheheheee
im so lucky to be youre boyfrjend
becayuse i get to see Ur smile everyyday. hold your hand whenegver i want
onlyi can call u Baby
did u know ? 
i bet u djd not ;)
i l o v e LOVE you 
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
[incoming call from: ♥] 
declined.
[incoming call from: ♥] 
declined.
[from: ♥][sent at 2:00AM]
why aren’t you picking up yukhei
you’re making me worried now
are you okay :( 
[to: ♥][sent at 2:15AM]
hey _____, ten here. don’t worry about xuxi! he just passed out on my couch. 
[attachment: 1 image]
i’m just gonna let him crash here tonight since my parents aren’t back anyway. feel free to pop by in the morning btw, i think he would be really happy. and sorry for texting you at this hour!! goodnight :D
yukhei stared at his phone screen blankly, the jumbled letters of his drunk texts burning into his eyes. there was also that picture of him sprawled across the leather couch in ten’s living room in deep slumber, with his shirt completely unbuttoned and a party hat strapped to his forehead like a unicorn.
“morning, birthday boy.” 
yukhei’s heart jumped. he jammed his thumb against the button on the side of his phone, turning around to find ten’s head poking out of the door. 
“how are you feeling?” ten asked. yukhei sat up immediately when he saw a glass of water in his friend’s hand. “like shit, i’m guessing.”
ten sat himself down at the foot of the bed, handing the water to an eager yukhei who gulps it all at one go.
“close enough. i feel like i’ve been run over by a bus.” yukhei replied, coughing to clear the raspiness in his voice. 
ten hummed. “well, your girl came over with a lot of food. i think you’ll feel better after eating.” 
yukhei’s eyes widened, his voice lowering into a whisper. “she’s here? now?”
“sort of. she went out to get coffee with guanheng but they should be back soon.” ten narrowed his eyes at yukhei, trying to read the look on his face. “what’s wrong?” 
“nothing.” 
“uh huh.” ten snorted. “you suck at lying.” 
“okay, fine. i might have spammed her with some texts last night while i was wasted.”
“oh yeah, i saw those. you were crying for her for at least thirty minutes last night by the way.”
“fuck.” yukhei let out a groan. “let’s not talk about that. not now please, ten-ge.” 
“okay, okay.” ten smirked. “only because it’s your birthday. now, continue.”
“i told her i love her. like, love love her.” 
“oh.” ten paused, his expression fading into one of confusion. “wait, i don’t get it. is that a bad thing?” 
“no, no. it’s not.” yukhei cut in quickly, glancing at the door every few seconds nervously. “it’s just—i haven’t told her that before!” he whisper-shouted. 
“i don’t know how she reacted to it! what if she doesn’t feel the same?”
ten burst into laughter right away, his eyes squinting into crescents. “oh, xuxi. you’re so cute when you’re in love, you know?” 
“i really don’t think you have to worry about her not feeling the same. but i do think you should go tell her in person soon.” 
yukhei blinked, relaxing a little when he realised that ten was probably right. the older male grinned, ruffling yukhei’s bed hair playfully before leaving the room. 
in less than five minutes the door swung open again, and yukhei tensed a little when he saw you, almost as if he had seen a ghost. he didn’t realise you were back already and had been planning to sit in anxiety by himself for thirty more minutes.
“you okay?” you chuckled as you walked over and sat next to him. 
yukhei hummed as you cradled the side of his face with one hand, your thumb smoothing away the drool crust on the corner of his lips that he didn’t even realise had been there. 
“someone clearly had a lot of fun last night.”
yukhei’s lips curled into a silly, crooked smile as you crossed your arms and pouted. your attempt at guilt-tripping him had failed completely, it endeared you instead and suddenly he felt like his drunk self bombarding you with all those confessions last night. 
your lips eventually cracked into a huge grin. you threw your arms around his shoulders, doing your best to engulf his big frame in a tight hug which made yukhei chuckle. he loved it whenever you hugged him like that or let him be the small spoon when you cuddled.
“happy birthday bub.” you coo dearly, giving each of his cheeks a loud smooch which made his face scrunch up adorably. “are you sure you’re okay?” 
“thank you, baby.” yukhei smiled, his mind completely free from his worries already. “i’m okay, just a little hungry.”
“well, it just so happens that there are loads of yummy things waiting outside. maybe even some of your favourite desserts.” you smirked enticingly as you grabbed his hand and stood up. “c’mon, let’s go eat.” 
“wait.” yukhei’s breathing stuttered, pulling you back quickly. “i need to tell you something.”
you moved into the spot between his legs, waiting for him to say something as your hands hung in the air intertwined.
“what is it?” you asked.
yukhei looked up at you, taking in the curious smile on your face. it brought so much joy and warmth to his life and he could never get tired of seeing that.
“i love you.” yukhei said, each word rolling off his tongue so naturally. “all those texts i sent you last night? i meant every single word. i love you, _____.” 
your eyes were glossy as you relaxed a little, sinking into his touch when he clasped his arms around your thighs to pull you closer. yukhei could tell you were recalling all those cheesy texts as you bit your lip shyly.
he closed his eyes just as you bent down to slot your lips against his in the most delicate way possible before whispering those three words back, as if they were only for him to hear. 
“i love you too, yukhei. you make me so happy.” 
“say it again.” yukhei asked, his voice laced with desperation even though he knew it was the first of many ‘i love you’s to come. 
your cheek was soft and warm in the palm of his hand. you grinned, closing the distance between your lips once more.
“i love you.”
it was the best birthday gift yukhei had ever received.
--
as the saying goes, all good things must come to an end. 
in yukhei’s case, the past five days have flown by quickly and alas, it is the penultimate day of his short vacation. 
but he’s more than satisfied with how the week has gone by despite how short it felt. he managed to visit his family, catch up with his closest friends, recover all the hours of sleep he had lost while on duty, and most importantly, be around you literally every day of this vacation so far. he woke up and slept next to you, cooked and ate all his favourite foods with you, and interrupted every other activity with sex and cuddling sessions — and he wouldn’t have it any other way. just looking back on those moments brought a smile to his face. 
his thoughts are interrupted when the door to your bedroom opens and you walk in with a small stack of laundry in one hand. 
”thank you baby.” he says, taking the clothes he had worn in the past few days, that are now clean, from you. they’re still warm from being fresh out of the dryer, and he gets a whiff of roses when he holds them under his nose. 
“you’re very welcome.” you plop down right next to where he had been sitting cross-legged on the floor, packing his belongings. 
as yukhei stuffs his sneakers deep into the bottom of his haversack, you look at all his other things that have been laid out neatly, side-by-side, on your bedroom rug. he doesn’t pay much attention as you pick up his wallet and entertain yourself with its contents.
“is this what i think it is?” 
you ask, pulling out a small folded piece of paper that was stuffed into one of the card compartments. the look of curiosity on your face morphs into one of surprise as soon as you unfold it completely and realise what it is.
“you keep this in your wallet?”
it’s one of the few handwritten letters you mailed to him during his first month in camp when he, like every one of his teammates, had zero access to their phones and gadgets. 
yukhei still remembers how tough that period of time was. being thrown into a whole new environment and expected to adjust to a lifestyle that was the complete opposite of university life was not easy at all. not only was his freedom snatched away, he had to deal with a long list of strict rules and responsibilities dumped onto him. and as if all that wasn’t enough, he had to witness his newly-made friends live through the countless military break-up horror stories he heard from his seniors.
it was a lot, but he got through each day thanks to the camaraderie he shared with his team and those letters you had mailed him, since they were the only form of communication he had with you. 
“yeah. it got me through some tough times, you know.” yukhei admits, watching you read through your own words. 
each letter was detailed with updates on your life and things his mum told you to convey to him. they all ended with a short paragraph of best wishes and sweet words which yukhei appreciated very much because he was absolutely sick of hearing about duty and honour.
yukhei had no idea he was so sentimental. he’d reread those letters in your voice, stare at your handwriting, and hold it up to his nose to get the faint scent of your perfume. it was like a piece of you — which was what he needed to fight the homesickness gnawing at him. 
“maybe you should write to me.” you mumble, refusing to look at him as you slid the letter back into his wallet. “i mean, if you’re not too busy. i would love getting mail from you even though we can text and facetime now.”
“i’ll try to, baby.” yukhei smirks. “my good morning and goodnight texts not enough for you?” 
“no,” you drawl, rolling your eyes playfully. “i love waking up to a bunch of heart and rose emojis.” 
yukhei laughs, going back to packing his things while you roll his clothes into bundles that would help him save space. after a short while of teamwork between you two, his haversack is stuffed and he’s done.
“don’t forget these,” you hand him his leather glasses case that had been sitting on your bedside table. then you’re on your feet, pacing around the room as your eyes scan every inch of the space, looking out for anything he might’ve missed. 
“i’ve looked everywhere earlier.” yukhei tells you before getting on his feet too. he stretches his arms high above him and lets out a silent yawn. “i think that’s it.”
“okay.” you answer in a small voice. 
now that you’re done helping him pack, there’s just one last thing left to do and it just happens to be the hardest task of all — you’ll have to say goodbye to him this time, tomorrow, at the train station.
that realisation settles between the two of you, once again compelling yukhei to make the most out of the time he has left. with a sad smile he holds his arms out, instantly drawing you into his embrace like a moth of a flame. you squish your cheek against him, hands locked behind his back as he hugs you warm and securely. 
“you need to stop working out so much, your abs are hard enough.” your voice comes out slightly muffled. “by the time you’re out, i’m gonna be hugging a rock.” 
yukhei grins at your words, bursting into full-blown giggles when your fingers poke into his sides and smooth across his tummy. the faint muscle lines that were there before he enlisted were now more defined, some even visible through the cotton fabric of his t-shirt. 
“you say that like i have a choice, baby.” he replies. “i can’t just sit aside while everyone else does seventy push-ups and ten laps around the field.”
you let out a disgruntled noise and hugged him even tighter, as if you were trying to mold your body into his. 
“and you like it. admit it.” yukhei teases. 
“i do.” you murmur. “you smell so good, by the way.” 
yukhei giggles at how quickly you switched the topic.
“it’s that detergent you’re using. i wish my clothes smelled this nice when i’m there.” 
“i’m talking about you, bub. the way you smell. my hoodie doesn’t smell like that anymore.” 
“the way i smell?” yukhei laughs. “and i think you mean my hoodie.” 
“it’s been mine for a while now.”
“well, wanna give it back to me? since it lost its purpose.” 
“okay. i’ll trade it for this shirt.” 
you tug on the hem of his shirt as you look up at him, eagerly waiting for his response. it’s moments like this where yukhei wonders if you know you have him in the palm of your hand.
“whatever you want, baby. i’ll give it to you.”
the lovestruck smile on his face widens as he places a kiss on your forehead, drawing circles on your back. 
“can i have it now then?” you ask innocently, but yukhei’s ears pick up the hint of playfulness in your tone. 
“right now?” he asks.
“yeah. what’s stopping you?”
“oh, i’ll give it to you now.” yukhei tells you lowly.
the cheeky smile on your face morphs into an ‘o’ shape as his grip on your waist tightens, guiding you towards the bed where you both crash against the mattress. there’s a moment of silence as he hovers over you, suavely tugging his shirt off with one hand and dropping the crumpled fabric next to your face. 
“thanks.” you whisper.
it’s hard to ignore the way your core is perfectly aligned with his when you’re lying underneath him in a hoodie and a pair of grey boyshorts that have been testing his patience for a while now.
yukhei runs his hands up your thighs to your sides, bunching the hoodie up to your chest. wet open-mouthed kisses are left all over the smooth expanse of your tummy and he takes delight in how hard you’re breathing.
“it’s no problem, baby.” he replies nonchalantly, his fingers pulling at the waistband of your boyshorts. “anything else you want before i take this off?”
you shake your head and shoot him a silly smile, and it’s all yukhei can remember before he embarks on yet another mission to please you with his mouth. then he makes love to you again, his warm touch roaming every inch of your body which he memorises to perfection. 
later, when you’re both sated and holding onto each other like two long-lost lovers, yukhei dreams of you again. this time, he’s hiding another velvet box in an even bigger bouquet of roses as he sits nervously in a dimly lit living room, waiting to surprise you when you get home. 
the thought of you being his forever is enough to make him smile in reality, enough to push him through the upcoming months of separation. yukhei was more than ready to be done with that. 
--
it’s only been a minute since you’ve gotten home but the place already feels too big for one person — which is laughable because your apartment isn’t even that huge to begin with. now that yukhei is gone, it feels as if life has been sucked out of these four walls. it has reverted back to nothing more than a roof over your head and a living space for one.
after hanging your coat up and stepping out of your shoes, you stroll to the kitchen and lean against the counter, staring into thin air with the refrigerator whirring softly behind you.
even though it’s only three in the afternoon, it has been an awfully long day for you. the few hours you spent outside drained you and all you did was sit at a restaurant with yukhei and his family for one last meal before sending him off at the train terminal. 
the meal was nice and the send-off was not as bad as you thought it would be. but it was still an emotional farewell and you shed a few tears despite it being nowhere as difficult as the first time he had to leave you. 
you and yukhei stood at the train platform hand in hand until the train finally arrived and came to a stop in front of everyone. 
you let ten and kun attack your boyfriend with their bro hugs first, followed by mrs wong who affectionately caressed her son’s face and repeated her fifth “take care of yourself, my little soldier boy” of the day, and lastly, a less-emotional mr wong who gave his son a few encouraging pats on the back.
looking around, you were filled with dread as you watched the same thing happen with every other soldier who was hugging their loved ones and waving goodbye to them.
when everyone left and when it was just you and him again, yukhei instantly pulled you into his arms, clearly just as reluctant as you are to face this moment.
this was it.
he pulled back, cupping your cheeks and smiling at you forlornly. you stared back at him, taking in how smart he looked in his uniform and the beret framing his beautifully sunkissed face, and mustered all the strength in you to not cry. 
it was impossible. tears swelled in your eyes within seconds and you couldn’t help it, the harder you tried to force them away, the more they wanted to spill out. you silently chided yourself for how naive you were to have wished for a tear-free farewell.
“don’t cry, baby.” yukhei pleaded softly, his big eyes looking watery too. “remember what i said?”
you swiped your tears away with the sleeve of your turtleneck and nodded frantically, not trusting your voice at the moment. 
“i’m gonna come home to you. we’re going to live our lives together.”
his voice was soft yet grounded with conviction, calming you down instantly and offering you the consolation you needed. 
“i’ll be waiting for you.” your voice croaked and you rolled your eyes at how pathetic it sounded.
“i know you’ll be.” yukhei smiled, gently stroking your back. “and you’ll be getting your first letter really soon, i promise.” 
“something else i get to look forward to.” 
you tightened your arms around him, closing your eyes to really savour what it felt like to be in his arms one last time before forcing yourself to let go. 
yukhei interlocked your hand with his, pressing a kiss to the back of it and stealing a glance at your favourite ring.
“i love you so much.” you said, adjusting the collar of his uniform thoughtfully. “eat well and be safe, okay? don’t worry about me. you know you can call me—”
he intercepted you with a long kiss to your lips, letting go only when you pinched his arm. unlike him, you weren’t bold enough to be this affectionate in public. 
“i will.” yukhei answered breathlessly. “promise me you’ll sleep early and not overwork yourself while i’m away. i need you to take care of yourself too.” 
“i promise.” you mumbled, locking your pinky with his as you looked around anxiously. “you should get going now. don’t want you missing your train.” 
he squeezed your hand to bring your attention back to him. “i love you.” 
“love you too.”
and with a final kiss to your lips, his hand loosened from yours, reaching for his haversack on the ground and swinging it over his shoulder in one go. 
“text me once you’ve settled down?”  
“i will, baby.” 
after one last peck to your forehead, he turned around and trudged towards the edge of the train platform, where kunhang had been taking pictures with his sisters while waiting. you stood rooted to the ground as you watched your boyfriend’s figure become smaller, waving at him when he turned around to look at you one final time before getting onto the train. 
ten and kun kindly gave you a lift home afterwards. you nearly teared up again when you walked past the parking lot and spotted the two of them patiently waiting for you in the comfort of their heated car. on the way home, they even made dinner plans and insisted you didn’t spend the rest of the day alone — which you were extremely grateful for. 
you still have a few hours to yourself before meeting them, and it dawns on you that you should probably take a short nap after the sad amount of sleep you got last night. so you force yourself to stop moping and drag yourself to your bedroom to find a comfy set of clothes.
you spend what feels like hours under the hot shower that by the time you step out of the steamy bathroom, the skin of your fingers are wrinkly. just as you start combing your hair, your phone buzzes, its screen lighting up to show you a single notification. 
you whisk it off the table, gaping at the sight of yukhei’s name staring back at you. 
[from: yukhei][sent at 4:10PM]
hey baby i miss you ♥
[to: yukhei][sent at 4:10PM]
miss you too :(
you guys back there already?
[from: yukhei][sent at 4:11PM]
we’re still on the train
i didn’t get to nap. kunhang snored so loudly :(
[to: yukhei][sent at 4:11PM]
poor baby… 
[from: yukhei][sent at 4:11PM] 
it’s fine
your boyfriend is a strong man. a day without a nap is nothing :D
you snort at his reply. the typing icon appears next to his name so you wait for his next text. 
[from: yukhei][sent as 4:12PM]
anyway, i left a surprise in your desk drawer for you
i think you already know what it is ;)
you don’t. 
[from: yukhei][sent at 4:12PM]
i hope you like it baby ♥ 
you never know what to expect from yukhei because he’s always surprising you with the sweetest, most meaningful gestures. even the story behind your promise ring has you in wonder still. when you pull open the drawer and realise just what he had left for you, a huge grin spreads across your face and you take a second to appreciate the sight of it. he was truly something else.
there, carefully placed on top of the paperwork you had kept in the drawer, is an envelope with your name on it.
“yeah. you’ll be getting your first letter really soon, i promise.” 
you reach for it, immediately peeping inside when you notice it’s unsealed. there was indeed a letter as yukhei had promised. you recognize the lined paper that he clearly tore off from one of your notebooks and assume he wrote this secretly while you were sleeping. the mental image of that melts your heart. 
to _____, my favourite girl in the world.
i have been staring at this blank piece of paper for ten minutes now while you’re sleeping so peacefully. i still don’t know what i should write for my first letter, so here’s an old-fashioned love letter from your admirer for life, your boyfriend, and your future husband: me <3 
you giggle to yourself like an idiot. it’s funny how a single paragraph could switch your mood instantly, how yukhei manages to make you happy even though he’s so far away now. 
was that too cheesy? i’m sorry. you know i’m not a poetic person even though i wish i am. you’ll probably laugh as you read on but that’s okay, because i want you to be happy whenever you read this. 
so where should i begin? 
how about the first time we met? when i saw you sitting at the back of mum’s restaurant, i had butterflies in my stomach (is this how that phrase goes?) and quickly hid in the kitchen. do you remember? 
the smile on your face grew as you continued reading yukhei’s letter. it spoke of the vivid details of all your firsts in your relationship, of the little habits you have that he adores. of the warmth and safeness he feels when he’s around you, of how in awe and inspired he is by you — and how lucky he is to get to experience all that for the past few years and hopefully, the rest of his life. 
by the time you reach the end, you’re laughing and crying. you miss him so much.
i love you, _____. nothing else matters. you’re the light of my life and i hope i can keep making you feel the way you make me feel: safe, happy, and loved. 
until we meet again,
wong yukhei
p.s. i hope you’re not crying. and if you are i really hope it’s because i made you laugh too much. 
you reread the letter again, letting his voice linger in your head for a bit because you’re not ready to let it go yet. then you laid on the bed for a good fifteen minutes as you stared at the ceiling with his letter clasped to your chest, yearning for his presence all over again. 
it’s going to be fine, you tell yourself. you can handle a few months without him. after all, you already have. and he’s never completely away from you, you realise, as you hold your hand up and admire the gorgeous ring shining in the afternoon sunlight. 
for now, that’ll do. 
--
303 notes · View notes
jenomark · 3 years
Text
Part 6: WinWin, The Catch
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➔Pairing:  WinWin x Reader (Female)  ➔Other Members/ Characters: Lucas, Ten, Hendery, Xiaojun,  Kun, & YangYang ➔Genre: Smut (+ angst, + fluff, + plot) ➔Warnings: angst, mentions of sex, yelling, cursing ➔Word count: 6,455
➔Summary: You don’t know what you do. You don’t even know who you are. Some would call you a whore. Some would refer to you as a sex worker. All of your clients would say you’re damn good at your job.
MASTERLIST
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FOUR MONTHS LATER
  Life is a whirlwind of many things: emotions, disappointment, new beginnings, and things too complicated to understand. It’s years of fuck-ups, of getting lost in the shit that hurts you, and finding out that sometimes the truth should stay buried. We’re meant to live life like it’s the last one we have, but a lot of us can’t even choose what to eat for dinner. Maybe that’s the joy in living, in just being. Maybe we should all be proud of being fuck-ups, instead of trying to be something we’re not.
“I don’t think life can get any sweeter than this.” WinWin said. 
 You tapped your glass against his, the frozen, pineapple liquid spilling down the sides. The taste of the drink is refreshing and so sweet it makes your teeth hurt, but you don’t care. You’re sitting on the beach in a plastic chair, the sun dipping into the ocean, and the company of a man you enjoy right next to you. Life, through its ups and downs, was finally looking up.
“I don’t want to go home.” you said. “Do you think people at work even miss me?”
WinWin laughed quietly, just a little wind through his nose. “I would miss you.”
“I bet you would.”
  Since coming to the island for the past week, you and WinWin left the hotel room many times. You went snorkeling, exploring different parts of the culture, ate gourmet dinners, and got massages by professionals who avoided your sunburnt shoulders. On the days when you couldn’t seem to make it out of the door, you both fucked on the beautiful white linen bed, sometimes with the sliding door open, and every time without any inhibition. 
“I miss you every day.” he said. He leaned over to kiss you, the taste of the drink on the edge of his lips. 
  When he brought out his phone to text his family back home, you let your eyes gape openly at his body. He was so pretty on the eyes, every muscle put to good use. You didn’t regret the order of the way things happened to fall together, just that you hadn’t met him sooner. It seemed lifetimes ago that you were hitting him up for one last bang of the century. You smiled at the memory, letting it salivate in your mind until he was done texting.
“Is everything okay?” you asked.
  WinWin took your hand, which was something he did whenever he was feeling affectionate. You liked the attention, the way he put his phone down and focused on answering your question. “My family are asking what time our flight home is tomorrow. And if I’ll stop by on the way back to my house.”
“Did you tell them yes?” you asked. “I miss your mother. She’s just the face I feel I need to see.”
“You don’t know how happy that makes me feel.”
  He leaned over and kissed you again. There was a cheeky look in his eyes, as if asking how easy it would be for you to straddle him on the beach chair and take his cock right there. Neither of you were sex fiends during your regular life back home, but vacation time meant making time for your relationship. 
  Luckily for the public, you were both interrupted by the waiter asking if you’d like a bite to eat. After declining, you both gathered up your things and practically ran back to the hotel for a night of fun and pleasure.
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  It wasn’t love, exactly. You would be the first to admit that love was hardly a driving force in your life. At first, though lust was an option, you ruled it out fairly early. Your entrance into WinWin’s life was less about pleasing someone sexually and more about pleasing yourself. You stayed around him because he was different. Deep down, you hoped it wasn’t because he was a culmination of all the boys in your life- Ten and his safety, Hendery and his optimism, Xiaojun and his hunger for life, Kun and his stability, and YangYang’s wholesome friendship. He even had Lucas’ taste for laughter and fun. 
 For a while, you wanted it to be love. You wanted love at first sight to be a  real thing so badly. You saw WinWin, you knew he was the one, and you fucked him real good. You chose to let it be more. Still, months later, you chose to keep the relationship because there was always the possibility that you were both lovable. You could be normal, even get the 9-to-5 job and stop fucking people for money. It could happen for you. 
 The car ride home from the airport felt a little off. Being away from the ocean made you feel stale. You didn’t know how to face normalcy again, how to ease your way back into a city that held so many awful memories. But WinWin held onto you like he could solve everything, made you feel like you could be the adult you needed all your life. 
“We’re here.” WinWin said as the car pulled up to his mother’s house.
 She didn’t know her son paid for someone like you, or that he was the last one ever. As far as she knows, he met you out with friends, and the rest was history. She didn’t know about your past, didn’t seem interested in it either. She was the kind of woman that judged no one, that welcomed everyone through her door with a hug and a feast fit for kings. It was far removed from the family you had grown up with.
“You both look sun-kissed and beautiful.” she said, hugging you, and then tugging on the edge of WinWin’s ear. “ Welcome home. I made you a nice home cooked meal. I know it’s not as good as the 5 star food you’ve been eating for the past week.”
“Mom, I’m sure it’s delicious.” WinWin said. “And I am starving.”
“Me too.” you said. “It’s really nice for you to cook for us. I feel so thankful.”
 Being with WinWin’s family made you feel safer than you’d ever felt. They truly welcomed you into the fold. It was easy to imagine the rest of your life like this: taking vacations, coming back to meals cooked by a mother who cares, and being lovingly accepted into another family like you were one of their own. Your past could easily melt away, along with any of the bad taste that got stuck in your mouth.
  You felt yourself getting misty-eyed. Thankfully, WinWin’s mother didn’t notice. She walked away to tend to her meal, leaving both of you in her living room. Unfortunately for you, WinWin was also an attentive boyfriend. He noticed you were on the verge of tears right away. He wiped them away for you, his brown eyes looking concerned.
“Is everything okay?” he asked. 
You nodded. “Yeah, it’s fine. I think I’m just tired and overwhelmed.”
“Do you want to go home?”
“No, no.” you said quickly. “I’m happy to be here.”
  The smile WinWin gave you lit up your soul. He brought you in for a hug, his excitement growing in the childish way he had. You held him tightly, too afraid to let go.
No, it wasn’t love, but it wasn’t not love, either.
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  That night, you made love.
  In the beginning of your relationship, all the men before him would pop into your mind. There was the roughness of Lucas, the tenderness of Ten, and the intensity of Hendery. Every so often, you wished WinWin was as good as Xiaojun was at oral. You incorporated the carefree attitude YangYang taught you into your sex life, taking WinWin for a wild spin. You avoided Kun, and every feeling he brought up within you. Every so often, you would dive back into the deep end and meet WinWin, and you would merge all the men together. He would never know, and you’d never ask if he had any inclination. 
  Something changed a few months in. The sex got better, and you were more present. You were with him for the whole time, pressing down on his chest and riding the high that belonged to only him. You fell hard. You two were good for each other, matched up right in all the best ways. He didn’t need help in any department. He was whole and complete, and he made you feel like a goddess. 
 “You’re thinking.” WinWin whispered, kissing your forehead.
 He pushed his cock deep inside of you, the words out of your mouth coming out breathless. “I’m not.”
  “Okay.” he said, giving up before he started.
 He fucked you so well that you both forgot about everything. It was only until you were dreaming that everything came rushing back. You dreamed of the men, of the paradise lost, of WinWin’s mother wishing you were her daughter-in-law.
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  Office jobs on a Monday never once seemed glamorous, but it was all you needed to feel ordinary. You stayed at your desk and watched the screensaver on your desktop fade in and out, like a heartbeat. Cheek resting against the palm of your hand, you sighed. You waited for lunchtime like the rest of the office girls. You didn’t gossip, didn’t show anyone your new nails. Your desk wasn’t decorated, but you were settled in for a while. The company liked you so much that you moved on from being a temp really quickly, which either made people love you or hate you.
“How was vacation?” a colleague asked. 
  You had become one of those people that shows vacation photos on her phone. There was WinWin laying on the beach, his toned stomach covered in sand. There was a photo of you posing by the sign of a restaurant, your arms thrown around him and your leg popped up. You hardly recognized the girl in the photos, though you’d spent 20+ years in her body.
“I wish I were in your shoes.” she said. “Your boyfriend is dreamy.”
“Thank you.” you said. It was hard to keep the amusement out of your voice. You were used to women fawning over him because he was so handsome, but when it was a married women with five kids, it made you hope you’d never be like that. 
“It looked like such a nice little vacay.” she said. “So luxurious. How did you pay for all of that?”
“Savings.” you said.
  Though you weren’t doing sex work anymore, the money from your secret apartment felt like it was never ending. You had sold so many things that reminded you of the men you saw over the years, choosing the money and a better life for yourself. It didn’t bother WinWin that you had more money than him, though he wouldn’t let you buy him a damn thing.
“Lucky.” she said before moving back to her desk.
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  Your eyelids were heavy, and the bottom of your feet sore. You dragged your feet through the doorway of your new, modest apartment, and threw your stuff down on the floor. You didn’t check your phone, just sat down on the couch and let your head fall back. You drifted off to sleep and only woke up to a knock on your front door. Picking yourself up, you walked over, swung it open, and screamed when WinWin picked you up and spun you around.
“What are you doing?” you asked.
 He kissed you passionately, letting your body slide down his before he let your feet plant on the floor. You felt breathless, and could tell that your face was hot just from seeing him again. There were days you kind of wanted to share a home with him, to see him every single day. Maybe then you wouldn’t be so taken aback by him every time you saw him in the flesh.
  You didn’t fully get a good look at him until he moved away from you and went over to the fridge for a drink. He was wearing a dark blue suit and his hair was slicked back from his forehead. He looked expensive, and the smell trailing behind him reminded you of the vacation you’d just left.
“What are you all dressed up for?” you asked.
“You and I are invited to a party.”
“A..party?” you asked. “On a Monday night? I’m exhausted. I just had my full day of work after a week of beauty and sunshine. Baby, the last thing I want to do is party.”
  Then, as if everything suddenly made sense, you remembered that your birthday was in a few days. Your mind was whirring. You didn’t want WinWin wasting money on some nice party when he’d put up more than his share for the vacation.
“Please.” he said, pouting. He took a drink from inside the fridge and set it on the counter. “I wouldn’t go without you.” 
“I don’t have anything to wear.”
“I’ve seen your closet. You have plenty of dresses.”
“I won’t know anyone there.”
He shrugged. “I didn’t tell you who was going.”
“I’m running out of excuses, aren’t I?” you asked.
  WinWin smiled and came over to hold you. “Yes. I’m not a party animal either, but for some reason, I really want to go to this one. It’s at that nice hotel downtown that was just built. Imagine a night full of cocktails and dancing, coming home and collapsing in my bed. Fun, right?”
  You closed your eyes. When you opened them, you said yes. After all, you didn’t want to ruin a possible surprise. WinWin picked you up and spun you again. ‘Round and ‘round in circles you went.
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  The dress you wore was too tight. You felt so bloated in it that, on the car ride over, you kept fidgeting. WinWin calling you beautiful didn’t help, but the sulking definitely did. Arriving at the party made you so nervous that you forgot about the ill-fitting dress. You weren’t ready to be in front of people you loved, if it was a birthday party. You were stressed about who would attend, and who would not. 
“Holy fuck.” you said, looking up at the hotel it was being hosted at.
 In another life, it felt like you had been there before. It was much too swanky for your new taste, but there was something so familiar about the exterior that you couldn’t help but stare at it. The cream of the building and the black marble accents were stunning to look at, even more so than your date.
“We’ll stay no longer than two hours.” he said. “Does that sound good?” 
  You were unsure, but you did agree. He took your hand and led you across the street, the red satin dress you were wearing flying up with the wind. You smoothed your hair down with your free hand and walked through the revolving door with him. Inside, the building was even more gorgeous. It must have cost a pretty penny, and would have taken years to import all of the textures.
“Who invited you here?” you asked. “Someone from work?”
“My cousin.” he said. “ You’ve met him before.”
  You were whisked into a ballroom full of people. It was clear that, by the lack of people you knew, it was not a surprise birthday party for you. It made you a little sad, but you tried not to show it.
 Being among crowds was never fun for you, but feeling his hand on the small of your back relaxed you. You were thinking you could enjoy the night anyway, but WinWin walking away to fetch drinks made the fear creep up your spine again. You sat down at an empty table and scanned the hoards of people dressed in expensive designer clothes, your eyes raking it all in. You assessed that the reason you were so uncomfortable is because the environment reminded you too much of the life you had four months ago.
“Here.” WinWin said, setting your drink down.
  You took a big gulp and set it back down, watching strangely as the condensation from the glass formed a ring on the tablecloth. For a bit, WinWin sat with you and held your hand, his eyes watching people laughing and chatting along.
“I can’t find my cousin. He’s not answering his phone.” he said, not able to peel his eyes from the crowd. 
“Should we go look for him?” you asked.
  There was a weird tension in the pit of your belly. You pushed the drink away and vowed to not drink anymore. You joined WinWin in looking for his cousin, even though you didn’t know which one he was referring to. His family was big, and they all looked so different from each other, but they all had the same cute laugh and love of ordering things online. 
“Let’s dance.” WinWin said, rising to his feet.
  You looked at the hand stretched out before you. He was speaking and moving too quickly. You felt like you were being pulled in every direction. The lights of the ballroom chandeliers were too bright, the air too humid. Still, you took his hand and let him bring you to your feet.The heels were killing you, but they were the only shoe that matched the dress.
“Are you okay?” you asked. “You’re acting really weird. “
“Weird?” he asked. “How?”
“I don’t know.”
  You wiped sweat from your forehead and felt nauseous as he led you both around the floor. It was the first time you wished you were anywhere but with him. Being at home and sleeping sounded much more exciting than the truth of where you were. 
“Can I spin you?” he asked.
  Before you could tell him that he couldn't, WinWin spun you around. You held onto his shoulders and caught your breath. He spun you one more time, your body losing slight control, and then he let you go.
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  All you could see were the lights in a blur before they stopped. You were too aware of the arm that had caught you. You looked down at the floor, at your feet crammed into your heels, then you closed your eyes tightly, and opened them again. You looked up and was met with a chest that didn’t belong to WinWin. Clutching the arms tightly, you used the body to bring yourself up all the way.
“Lucas.” you said, your voice shaky. 
 Dressed in a white button down and a light blue suit jacket, Lucas was there. His face was a little slimmer, but the same eyes were looking back at you. They were wide and hard, not a lick of concern in them. For a moment, you were transported back in time. It was where you were supposed to be, with the man you thought you were going to marry. You blinked and started looking for WinWin.
“You like him?” Lucas asked.
  You removed your hands from Lucas’ arms and he dropped them to his sides the same time you did. You looked into his eyes and tried to muster something to say. The last time you saw him, you couldn’t get the right words out. Your storyline was very much unfinished. 
“Does he check all the boxes?” Lucas asked. “Safe. Able to pay. Puts up with your lies and insecurities.” 
“What?”
  You looked over at the right time to see WinWin moving up to your side. You felt relief. You waited for him to berate Lucas for talking to you that way, a hero to save the day. Instead, he held out his hand to Lucas, as if asking him to dance.
“Four months.” WinWin said to him. “I want extra for having to sleep with her so many times.”
  Lucas opened his jacket and took out a wad of bills. He peeled out so many pieces of paper that you lost count of them all. “Here is half. You get the rest of the money in a while.”
  WinWin took the bills without counting them and tucked them into his own jacket. He gave you the tiniest apologetic glance before walking away. Confused, you started to walk after him but was stopped by Lucas' big arm.
“What are you doing?” you asked. “I’m following my boyfriend. Let me go.”
“Your boyfriend?” Lucas asked. “Wow, you really bought it. The con artist gets conned.” 
 Your brain was trying its hardest to make sense of what Lucas was saying. Any minute now, you would wake up from your nap on the couch and you wouldn’t be standing in the middle of a hotel ballroom with your ex-boyfriend. When that didn’t happen, you stormed off across the dance floor, your eyes searching for WinWin. You took out your phone and began texting, but a big paw of a hand snatched the phone from you.
“He won’t text back.” Lucas said.
“Give me that.” you said, swiping at him. “Why are you here? Did you follow us?”
Lucas laughed. “You don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what? You’re a psycho.” you said. “You broke up with me, remember? You left me. Let me live my life. I’m happy.”
  Without your phone, you walked outside, through the revolving door and down the rabbit hole. You could hear Lucas’ heavy  footsteps behind you. When you were out of earshot, he placed his hand on your shoulder gently and spun you around to face him.
“Give me my phone, or I will call the police.” you said, not enough bravado in your voice.
  Lucas handed you the phone, but you yanked it from his hands anyway. There were no messages from WinWin, and nothing of note. You looked for the car you arrived in but it was gone. You swallowed the lump in your dry throat and closed your eyes again.
“Why did you hand him money, and where did he go? What was he talking about?” you asked. It was the question you’d wanted to ask all along but was too afraid to ask.  “Please, nothing snarky. Tell me the truth.”
“The truth? Like you told me the truth?” Lucas asked.
“Lucas, please.”
“I don’t owe you anything.”
  You were facing him head on, tears rolling down your face. Everything felt too chaotic, too blinding. Your thoughts were swimming in your mind, each one making no sense from the last. If what you believed to be true was true, you needed to know how it all went down.
“I set you up.” he said. “Sicheng, that’s his real name, was never interested in you. I paid him to like you, to fuck you. “
“He was my client.”
“Wrong.” Lucas said. He moved out of the way so that people could pass by. “I paid him to pursue you. It wasn’t easy, I’ll give you that. I had actually given up hope, but then you came right in at the end.”
“You’re lying to me.”
“I’m not.” Lucas chuckled darkly. “I paid him thousands of dollars. I paid for your vacation. I’m thousands in debt, but hey, who cares. I finally did it.”
“Did what?” you asked, wiping a hot tear from your cheek.
“Humiliated you the way you humiliated me.” he said. “Fucking guys for money behind my back? Why couldn’t you just cheat like normal people? Fuck, I wanted to marry you.”
  It was quiet, the traffic from the sidewalk dying down. You leaned against the side of the building and felt how truly tired your body was. The fire in Lucas’ eyes calmed down a little bit, too.
“I know.” you said quietly. “I saw the ring.”
“Shit, you really fell for everything.” he said. “I planted that ring. I thought that if you believed I was going to propose, you would catch yourself in the lie. I thought you were smarter than me, but tonight proves that theory. You’re not smart at all. You should have seen your face when you saw the house key. ”
“Why would you do this to me?” you screamed, grabbing the attention of someone waiting in traffic.
“You did this to yourself, sweetheart.”
 You turned around and put your arm against the wall, leaning your head down against it. “I don’t understand. WinWin and I are a real couple. I’ve been with his family and his friends. I love him.”
“The family thing wasn’t my idea.” he said. “I had nothing to do with that, but I find it funnier this way. How does it feel being so blind-sided that it’s ruined your life?” 
“Fuck you.”
“No.” he said. “Fuck you. Exactly, how many people have you slept with? Did you get tested before you fucked me?”
  You walked away, walking down the street to God knows where. You groaned when he kept following you, and you stopped in front of a well-lit display window. In the light, you could see how beat your reflection was. The dress was pretty,  but your insides were shining out and they were ugly.
“You thought you could fool me.” Lucas said. “I followed you to some places, you know? Saw all the freaks you were with. That one guy? Hendery? I talked to him, acted like I was a stranger. He was so fucking in love with you that I was jealous. Can you believe that? I was jealous of someone who had you about as much as I did. It’s a real shame what you did to him.”
“Shut up.”
“He thought you would be together forever.” Lucas mocked.
“You don’t know a thing about Hendery.”
“Wrong again.” he said. “I know a lot about men like Hendery. The sad, rejected men that tried to love you. I was one of them.”
  You checked your phone again, your last attempt at hope. All you wanted was to see WinWin’s name pop up, to text you that he was bringing the car around, and that he was going to take you away from the crazy man before you. 
“If you knew....” you began, feeling dejected. “...why did you let it go on for so long?” 
  Lucas seemed to really think about the answer. In the light, he looked so handsome and young. You were reminded of the man he was when you first met him. You felt a little pang in your chest where your heart used to be.
“I guess I wanted to see if you would change, if you would love me.”
“I did love you.”
There was hurt and anger in Lucas’ eyes. “Loved me enough to cheat on me?”
“It was just a job.”
“Was I just a job, too?” he asked. “ I knew about the extra apartment. I really meant nothing to you.”
“This conversation is going nowhere.” you said. “I’m sorry I did that to you. I should have been upfront about who I was and what I was doing with my body. I fucked up, and I fucked your life up. And you, in return, fucked me up for the rest of my life.”
“This isn’t my fault. This is your fault.”
“I don’t care whose fault it is, Lucas.” you said. “You and I were done. We never would have lasted.”
“So, you strung me along to make yourself feel better?” he asked.
“No I-”
“-Like you did with Sicheng.” he said. “I’m not an idiot. I know the ins and outs of everything that happened in the last few months. It’s a cycle. The people you fuck keep you feeling better about yourself long enough for you to move on to a new one. I was just the unfortunate asshole getting caught in the middle.”
“I’m not talking about this right now.”
“And there it is, the denial.” he said. “Look at how you turn away from me when I tell you the truth. All those men and not one of them could ever call you out on your bullshit? Where is the love there, huh? Where are any of them now?”
You threw your hands up into the air. “I don’t know. They’re not here, Lucas. You hate me so much, but you’re the only one here. The last man standing. Congratulations, you did it.”
  A car pulled up to the curb. You texted a friend for a ride, someone you didn’t know quite well. You didn’t have anyone else. While Lucas was talking, you were figuring out how best to run away from him. The knowledge hit you hardest where it hurts. You didn’t think anything could ever be the same again.
“I have to go.” you said. “I can’t be here anymore.”
“Yeah? Just like that?”
You held the car door open. “Yeah. Just like that, Lucas.”
“And you don’t have anything else to say?” he asked.
“I do, actually.” you said. “To those I’ve fucked and fucked over, I’m sorry.”
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THREE YEARS LATER- LUCAS
  He stood very still, so still that he could hear the tiny giggling coming from the other room. Lucas smiled to himself and tried to ignore it as best he could. If there was one thing he was good at, it was acting.
“Ready or not, here I come!” he yelled, his voice booming. He loved pulling silly voices. It was something that brought him so much joy. “You better not come out until I find you-u-u-u-u-u.”
  With the heaviest of footsteps, Lucas walked across his house. It was dramatic the way he walked, and it only brought out another tinkle of laughter from the east side of the house. Lucas walked into another room and made fake footsteps like he was walking away.
 There, in the corner, the top of a tiny head peeked out from behind a toy box. As if sensing him, the head poked back down. Lucas fought the urge to laugh. He played dumb and moved around the room, loudly checking behind places no human could hide behind.
“It’s very difficult to find her.” he said. “I wonder if she is in this room.”
 Another giggle, another pull at his heart strings. Before he could move over to the toybox, a little girl ran out from behind it and into his arms. 
“Daddy! Daddy!” she yelled, giggling as her father Lucas scooped her up into his arms. “You found me!” 
  Lucas swung her around and planted kisses all over her heart-shaped face. His happiness was always with her, even when it was hidden. Lucas set his daughter down and knelt down to her level.
“Now,” he said, his face serious. He tried not to laugh as his daughter put on a serious face, too. “Now, we have to find mommy.”
 With her hand in his, they walked through the house to look for the missing puzzle piece of their family. 
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THREE YEARS LATER- TEN
“What is love to you?” 
 Ten sat across from his date. There was something in the question that made him cock his head to the side. His smile lit up when the person sitting across from him broke out into a similar smile, a clear embarrassment striking them unannounced. 
“Don’t be embarrassed.” Ten said. “It’s a fair question. Do you have an answer for it?”
“I don’t.” 
“Well, I do.” Ten said.
  It was Ten’s assertiveness that got him the date in the first place. That, and the way he was so open about everything. He didn’t know if the person across from him was his soulmate, or if he even believed in that. Still, it was fun getting to know someone. In a way, it was like getting to know yourself. 
“I think love is everything.” he said. “I think it’s in everything. It’s in the company you keep, in the weather you wish was different. Love is a painful reminder that not everything can stay the same. It’s the gentle way someone wishes you a good day. It’s an old blanket that smells like memories from long ago. Love is scary, but scary things are fun, too. We all want love, and we all want to be loved. It’s hope, and it’s full. I used to think love is never being left, but now I think leaving someone often means loving them so much that you do what is best for them. Love is...yeah..I love love.” 
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THREE YEARS LATER- XIAOJUN
  He lit the candles, one on each end of the table. Getting lost in the flame was an option, but Xiaojun had many steps to take. He smoothed out the table cloth, the fine linen unwrinkling before his eyes. There was peace in watching everything come together, in the controlling things. 
“Perfect.” he whispered.
  Moving around the table, he fixed two of everything, even two napkins of the prettiest shade. The dishes resting on the table were cleaned so properly that not even a stray hair found its way there. The drinking glasses were sparkling. He could see his reflection in them both, his handsome face full of content.
“Whaaa, so perfect.”
 Xiaojun took a seat in one of the chairs. He felt the wood of the armrest, a seat fit for a king, and he smiled to himself. The dinner jacket he was wearing was a little oversized, but it was pressed in a way that made him feel happy.
 A man walked into the room and served food on both sides of the table, the tastiest feast money could buy. A bottle of wine was tipped into the glasses, not a drop wasted.
“Thank you.” Xiaojun said softly.
  After the waiter disappeared, he looked at the empty chair on the other side of the table. The steam from the food rose up high, and with it, Xiaojun’s expectations. He took one savory bite of food. After, he took a bow to the seat that would remain empty for the rest of his life.
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THREE YEARS LATER- KUN
“Therapy is at five p.m, don't be late.” she said.
“I don’t know why we’re going to therapy if we’re not going to work on our marriage.” Kun said. “Please help me understand.”
  His ex-wife looked at him like she saw right through him. She was unbothered, not willing to waste a single emotion on the man before her. “It’s for the children.” was all she said before she got into her car and drove away.
  Kun sat by himself on his front porch swing for a long time. His new house was smaller and bought with his own money. There was only enough room for him, and for his children whenever they wanted to see their dad on the weekends. With the end of his marriage, everything else seemed to go, too. He no longer had a job after getting caught having an another affair with one of the real teaching assistants. He figured it was a fair bit of karma for all the bad things he’d done, but it still didn’t make it an easy pill to swallow.
 Occasionally, he would call your old phone number in hopes that you’d pick up, but you never did. It was probably for the best.
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THREE YEARS LATER- YANGYANG
  The massive backpack on his back made him sway a little. He found it so funny that he couldn’t read any of the signs in the foreign language. He’d met a lot of people on his travels, and each one found it charming that he was so carefree and kind. All it took was a smile from YangYang and the citizens were cured.
“Where are you going?” a traveler he had just met asked. He was an older man, way older than YangYang’s grandfather. He’d decided to travel and live a bit after his wife died. He was everything YangYang aspired to be, maybe, without all of the death.
“I don’t know.” YangYang said. “I guess, wherever the wind takes me.”
“Well, that’s a start.” the man said. “The train is here. Best go on your way, then.”
 YangYang felt sad about having to say goodbye to the man. It was always like that over the last few years. He struck up conversations with so many good people, all of their stories worth telling, and then he’d have to say goodbye. Occasionally, they would exchange social media and whatever, but it never felt the same.
“This was nice.” YangYang said. “I really enjoyed hearing stories about your wife. She sounds like someone I would have liked.”
“You would have.” the old man said, his gaze on some distant memory. “Have safe travels and remember what I said, kid. Never stop. Take care.”
  YangYang accepted the man's clap on his shoulder, even though it made him sway even more. The train stopped before him, windows slipping by. In the reflection as it slowed down, he thought he saw someone that looked an awful lot like you behind him, but when he turned around, no one was there.
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THREE YEARS LATER- HENDERY
  Since it was raining, the park was empty. Since he considered himself an idiot, he didn’t bring an umbrella. 
 Hendery approached the park bench like it was a bomb that could explode any minute. He looked around before taking off his jacket and stretching it across the surface to soak up some of the water. Then, he sat down and looked out over the grass. He blinked rain off his eyelashes and looked down at his lap. He did everything he could but check his phone. Over time, he looked up at the sky and let the water droplets hit his face. When he had done all the waiting he could do, he got up from the bench. 
“Well.” he said, looking down at his soaked jacket.
 Hendery picked it up from the bench and flung it over his shoulders. He took one last longing look at the bench for beginning to walk away. He was stopped by footsteps coming up from behind him. He turned around, placed the jacket back on the bench and sat down again. Hands on his knees, he stared straight ahead.
“You’re late.” he said.
  The person sat beside him on the bench, their hands on their knees, staring straight ahead. At the same time, the person and Hendery looked at each other. 
 There wasn’t an apology you could say that would fit the crime. Hendery knew that. He looked straight ahead again, but he moved one hand from his knee and used it to hold yours. Your clasped hands sat between you on the bench, solid and true.
 You looked at him before staring straight back ahead. Though it was pouring now, and your skin was slimy and your clothes wet all the way through, you didn’t seem to mind anymore.
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joshjacksons · 3 years
Text
Joshua Jackson interview with “Irish Independent”
It was during a childhood visit to his granny’s house in Dublin’s Ballyfermot that Joshua Jackson smoked his first cigarette.
“My memories of those visits to Ballyfermot are quite sweet really,” the Dawson’s Creek actor recalls. “I was always running around with the neighbourhood kids, getting into trouble. Not bad trouble, just little-kid trouble. Although, technically it’s where I smoked my first cigarette, so that in itself isn’t the sweetest memory.”
Jackson’s handsome face surges with deep laughter lines and quiet dimples at the mention of mum Fiona’s home turf. “She might prefer I’d say she was from Chapelizod”, he jokes, before proudly pinning his mum’s allegiance to “Ballyer”.
Was the young Canadian treated like a shiny, exotic object by the local kids? “I was a bit, but I became less exotic the older I got. Culturally, I was so far away from an Irish kid but in a little pack of children, everyone finds their level. It also helped that I had my own cousins, my own blood, around with us. I had that family connection so I never felt too exoticised.”
An entry on his IMDb profile suggests his late grandparents Rosemary and Patrick were opera singers in Dublin, indicating that performance runs in the genes. The actor seems unaware. “Mum tells me they used to sing to each other a lot. My grandparents lived in council housing with a little kitchen out the back, garden right outside, and they would sing to each other through the window as he was out pottering about while she was cooking.
“But he was known more as a snooker shark around Ballyfermot. And my grandmother, she was known as a sainted mother of seven.”
Having welcomed his first child, Janie, with his wife, the actor Jodie Turner-Smith, last year, it’s obvious family is paramount for 43-year-old Jackson, as he Zoom-calls from a rich hotel suite with dark wallpaper and plump cushions in the background. It stems from an evident bond with his mum, whose presence lovingly peppers our conversation. Just 16 when she left Dublin, Fiona Jackson travelled through Paris, Amsterdam and Geneva before embracing the vibrancy of London’s Swinging Sixties and ultimately making for Vancouver in her early twenties.
In an entry on her blog, she speaks of falling for “the spectacular beauty of snow-capped mountains and the Pacific Ocean” and ultimately scoring an entry-level position at a Canadian talent agency. It led to a career as a successful casting agent, working on film classics including Carnal Knowledge with Jack Nicholson and McCabe & Mrs Miller with Warren Beatty and Julie Christie.
She met and married Joshua’s father, John Carter, and the young family moved to Los Angeles. Sister Aisleagh was born shortly before John walked out on the family, leaving a profound effect.
“My father, unfortunately, was not a good father or husband and exited the scene,” the actor disclosed last year, before adding it’s something he “will never get over”.
Young infants in tow, Fiona returned to Vancouver and, having found early success in casting, helped contribute to the foundation of the burgeoning “Hollywood North” industry on the Canadian west coast.
Accompanying his mum on set, young Joshua’s interests were piqued. “She introduced me to this world and saw from a young age that I enjoyed performing in a way that kids do. She allowed me the opportunity to step into her work world, but it was also very clear that it was work.”
He appeared as an extra on MacGyver and as a child actor’s double in The Fly II, and Fiona could see her son’s talent and genuine desire to impress. So she allowed him to audition. However, permission came with strict caveats.
“I don’t think my mum would have ever put me anywhere near the entertainment industry if I didn’t have something to offer to it. And not just for myself; she’s a prideful woman and didn’t want to be embarrassed by her kid.”
Casting 1991 melodrama Crooked Hearts with ER’s Noah Wyle, Fiona gave Joshua a chance to shine. Impressing the filmmakers, the then-12-year-old secured the part, setting him not only on a path to stardom but away from the troubles of his teen years.
“My mother gave me the guard rails I needed at that time and also recognised, being a working single mum and with me a young boy, transitioning into a teenager, I needed structure in my life. I needed something that I was passionate about and had a respect for, because I was kind of a typical teenage disaster.
“I look back on those times in my life and the two parallel tracks I was running on. On the one hand, getting into all sorts of trouble and, on the other hand, my professional life, where I showed up and learned my lines and did my job in order to be respected by the adults I was around. If I hadn’t had that professional side of my life, the other side would have taken over, and Mum saw that. Who knows where I would have ended up?”
So Jackson was a full-on teen delinquent? “Yeah, I was, to a certain extent. It was relatively innocent — nobody died — but I was a teenage boy who didn’t have a father in the home, didn’t have a man to be scared of, frankly, and as a teenage boy, I think that helps. My mum had to work and she wasn’t always in the house so I learned to get into more and more trouble. I got into just enough trouble to have a good time and learn some lessons but if I hadn’t had my work life, I might have tipped over into the kind of trouble that you don’t come back from.”
Three decades in and Jackson remains one of the hardest-working, most recognisable actors in the game. Hitting pay dirt at 18 as Dawson’s Creek’s Pacey Witter — the wisecracking, teacher-bedding antithesis to James Van Der Beek’s beleaguered titular drip — the actor was a revelation: the soul and bite of a seasoned character performer in the guise of relatable poster-boy idol.
Teens swooned, so did the industry, and alongside Van Der Beek, Michelle Williams and Katie Holmes, Jackson had Hollywood at his feet.
A string of popcorn offerings followed — Cruel Intentions, Gossip, Shutter, Cursed — some quality, others derivative, with the small screen ultimately best utilising his skills. A five-season run on sci-fi series Fringe was followed by an outstanding turn on Showtime’s The Affair. Last year, he maintained a brooding presence opposite Reese Witherspoon and Kerry Washington in Little Fires Everywhere. And this year, he takes on arguably his darkest work yet in Dr Death.
The new miniseries is based on the non-fiction podcast of the same name, and Jackson portrays Christopher Duntsch, a former spinal surgeon who maimed 33 patients owing to gross malpractice while operating in hospitals in Dallas and Fort Worth, Texas. Two of these patients lost their lives. Convicted in 2017, Duntsch is currently in prison and serving life imprisonment. He still maintains his innocence, with his defence arguing that he was merely a bad surgeon, not a criminal.
Exuding a simmering malevolence, the actor showcases Duntsch’s disturbing complexities and terrifying behaviour as a narcissist and sociopath with a keen insight. Did Jackson meet with Duntsch? “I wanted to, but that was going to be really difficult because he’s appealing his case and his lawyers would’ve advised against it. And as I got deeper into the materials and podcast, and got a better understanding of the man, I don’t think it would’ve helped because he still really believes he’s the victim of his own patients, and the lawyers and the legal system. I’m not sure asking a liar for the truth gets you any closer to the truth.”
When it came to the victims, Jackson wanted to maintain a respectful distance. “I didn’t need to drag them through those awful memories again and I’m always a little dubious about asking people to delve into the worst moments of their life just to satisfy my curiosity. The questions had already been asked thanks to the podcast.”
Dr Death came at the right time in the actor’s life. New baby daughter Janie offered a crucial respite from the intense, and often dark, six-month foray into Duntsch’s malignant psyche.
“Inhabiting Mr Duntsch was an ugly space to live in for six months. If I’d been coming home to an empty house every night, it would have been a pretty bleak existence. It was so much better to come back to a loving home. My one-year-old doesn’t give a damn what I was doing that day. She just wants to be loved and hugged and cuddled, and it was the perfect antidote when some days were particularly heavy.”
Recently Jackson confessed that the Dawson’s Creek cast won’t be returning for a retrospective reunion like the Friends stars did earlier this year. “If you put our mid-forties selves together on a couch now, with our creaking backs, it might shock people.”
Quizzed on an actual reboot of the drama, Joshua reckons he’s simply too old to replicate the iconic rapid exchanges of dialogue between the garrulous young characters. “We were like The West Wing for teenagers,” he laughs, referencing Aaron Sorkin’s hit political TV series, also infamous for speedy script delivery. “My 43-year-old brain couldn’t do a show at that pace. Back then, we were doing seven, 10 pages a day and, to deliver dialogue at that speed, you have to have a certain mental capacity for that, and I don’t have it anymore. That’s the real reason why we’re not doing a reunion — I’ve become too dumb to keep up with that script.”
He remains in touch with his DC co-stars, including Holmes, his one-time girlfriend of two years. There’s even a text chain. “It goes through spurts every once in a while. I’ll have a bunch of messages on it and then it’ll go dormant. We’re like college friends — there are moments we’re all in contact and then long, fallow periods as we get on with our lives.”
While maintaining a busy slate, Jackson’s overwhelming purpose continues to circle the women in his life. Turner-Smith is currently shooting a new movie with Adam Driver and Greta Gerwig, so he’s assuming full-time dad duties. It’s an equitable arrangement given the flexible needs of their individual commitments, and one he appears content with.
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Love Doesn’t Do Encores Ch11 Back To Motostoke
(Warning: Contains another fight between younger reader's mom and herself in a flashback. It was pointed out that I accidentally posted the wrong chapter by mistake. My apologies to my tumblr readers, Ill see to it this won’t happen again. Here’s the missing chapter for the events between Chapters 10-12. Enjoy.)
To say you two had a long night when you got back to your hotel room was an understatement. The boys jumped at the first chance they got asking Gloria how the dinner went to which she just let out a long drawn out 'Uuuuuhhhhh' and you had to cut in saying that he had just asked her about the gym battle and her day. Which she seemed thankful about you doing to save her the trouble. Luckily neither seemed too miffed about Glory getting to dine with THE Chairman Rose apparently, you certainly didn't enjoy the experience other than the free meal. You changed the subject by asking Hop when his battle was to which he proudly stated tomorrow. Alright! Seemed cleaned cut enough......Surprise, surprise it wasn't. The four of you ended up having to stay another two days instead for the one you all planned because Hop had lost the first battle with Nessa, visibly upset about the entire thing. Quite understandable. But to your surprise once meeting him outside the stadium he seemed...rather happy. Quickly finding out the reason not only because Nessa have him her ultra rare league card as compensation but that she offered to battle him again a second time first thing tomorrow morning to which he quickly agreed to. So the four of you agreed to spend another night in Hulbury. The next morning the four of you left bright and early for the stadium and after waiting for Hop to redo the gym challenge again, watched him battle Nessa for a second time. It was intense. It was stressful. And it was certainly rough on both parties. But you were SO glad Hop was able to win! Not only because you wanted him to win, but because you didn't want to spend another day in Hulbury. It was a close one too. With Hop winning two out of the three rounds but it was a good enough score to earn the badge! And he was proud to show it off as well when the three of you managed to meet up with him again outside the stadium by the Hulbury lighthouse.
He had smiled instantly shoving the bronze-golden badge out to you three with the same patterns that was on Gloria's water badge. "LOOK!! I FINALLY GOT IT! And on my second try too! Pretty good huh?"
"You were so cool out there!," Gloria excitedly complimented him smiling widely. "Now we're all caught up!"
"Doesn't make us less rivals y'know!"
"...Hey. Speaking of gym badges," you cut in gaining their attention as you gestured towards the badge in Hop's hand. "Do you guys know which gym you wanted to go to next?" You were really itching to get out of Hulbury by this point and just wanted to GO.
Gloria opened her mouth to speak but Hop beat her too it making all of you look back at him. "Actually, I have one on my mind."
"What is it?"
He turned to Gloria. " All right, Mate. You've got both the grass badge and water badge by now right?" She nodded confused. "In that case, we're both headed for Motostoke and the fire gym leader Kabu!"
All three of you stared shocked at him. The twins seeming at something else, and you because MOTOSTOKE. As in the city you all started in?! Hop wanted all of you to walk back ALL the way there to challenge a gym leader!? WHAT-
"What!? We have to go all the way back to Motostoke for that?!"
"KABU!?", both the twins yelled at him and you rose a brow at their reaction.
"....Ok. I feel like this is the part where someone tells me more about this gym leader."
With a slightly worried look Victor turned to you. "Kabu is the Galar Region's Fire Type Gym Leader and his gym's in Motostoke. He's also the only gym leader who's not from Galar himself."
"He's also the SECOND most powerful gym leader behind Raihan," Gloria jumped in frowning, "If Raihan and Leon weren't in the picture he could've easily gotten the title of 'Galar's Strongest Gym Leader' or the Champion itself. He's been known to make a whole bunch of trainers quit the entire gym challenge as a whole because they couldn't win against him." She turned back to Hop raising a brow. "Which begs the question on why do you want to go there next of all places?"
"Nessa suggested I go there actually." She did? That sure surprised you. "She said if I wanted more of a challenge for myself then he'd be a good canidate to battle before we reach Raihan. I thought it would be a great idea to challenge myself even more!"
.....Gloria hummed. "Actually you might be onto something. We can't get stronger unless we push ourselves..." She smiled. "Ok! Count me in too!"
"I think the both of you are in over your heads." Victor sighed. "But if that's where you wanna go then fine. We can take the train."
You felt internal relief you wouldn't have to walk again, but that begged the question. "Exactly how long would it take to get back there?"
"About another month by walking. Two weeks by corvinight taxi. And five days by train over nights too."
"Yeah..We're taking the train this time."
There was one tiny problem with that notion tho. The morning train had already passed so the four of you had to wait in the shade of the train station for at least another two hours until the afternoon train came rumbling up to the station at last! As nice as this place was, you wanted to leave as soon after you and Gloria attended the dinner with the Chairman and his assistant. After hearing he had come there often enough to have 'a usual' dish you didn't want to accidentally bump into them again especially after what you did and getting the off feeling about them. It was too weird, so you were glad to get on the train. You were slightly afraid you wouldn't be able to get on without paying but luckily you slipped through the bars quickly behind Gloria after she scanned her train pass in the slot and piled on inside with the rest of the kids and a few other people who either got on too or were leaving.
"Good Afternoon, Ladies and Gentlemen. We will be leaving Hulbury Station in five minutes. Please gather all your belongings and exit or enter accordingly. Next stop shall be Nester Town. Thank you for using Galar Transportation for your traveling needs," a man's voice came through the speaker over head and you gave it a raised brow. You had to remember there was more than one town in Galar since now it wasn't just a game. ...In fact with how big this region was, it must've been home to millions of people like a region back in your world.
The four of you all settled into the train cars and gotten yourself situated into one of the seats with the table between them. The twins on one side and you with Hop facing them as you sighed into the soft seat cushions. It would be nice not having to walk somewhere for once at least. You also assumed Sonia must've had the same idea about taking the train outta here because you hadn't seem her since she excused herself and ran out from the dinner about two days ago now. Oh well. Where ever she was, you were sure she was fine. After all you slightly remembered her reappearing later in the game too, so if events were going as they were in the original game then you would most definately see her again soon. But for now you sighed content to just tug off your backpack and leave it on the floor at your feet, your sobble taken residence on the table between you all, and you just leaning back into your seat and looking out the window waiting for the train to start moving again. Not really paying too much attention to what the others were talking about-
"How about I share with you a little tip about that leader, Kabu?" Your eyes blinked back over to Hop who was glancing at his phone you assume reading something. "From what I heard, he's holed up now in Galar Mine No. 2 undergoing special training."
"What?!," Gloria gave him a look. "He's underground while the gym challenge is goin' on? What kind of gym leader does that?"
"If he's in there then we can't take him on in Motostoke even if we zip right over there, putting the breaks on our gym challenge!"
"That's what I literally just implied....Wait. How long has he been in there?"
"Uh.." Hop quickly flipped through his phone's screen. "According to this...since about three days ago."
"WHAT? Who trains in a cave for three days straight? ...What if he's not out by the time we get there? We'd be waitin' for days by that point!"
"....So I say we head to galar mine no. two ourselves!," Hop decided lowering the phone from his face. "Let's go see what all the fuss is about!"
"Uh-...NO!!" All three teens looked at you as you frowned and crossed your arms in a stern pose. "No. No. HECK NO!! I went through one mine thank you very much and was almost caught by miners chasing us because someone wanted to take a short cut. We can go and wait for him like every other person."
"...You did what!?"
"Actually Galar Mine Number two is open to the public since it's naturally a part of the Wild Area," Hop explained ignoring Victor's earlier question. "It's full of a lot of water pokemon since it's connected to an underground spring. You can also find a couple Wishing Stars if you're lucky. ..Huh. Maybe that's why he went there?"
Unconvinced you rose a brow but sighed and leaned back into your seat just as the train gave a small little lurch before slowly beginning to pull away. The kids going back to talk among themselves about mines and gym leaders. Despite not walking, you had a feeling this was going to be a long trip back to Motostoke. ...And you weren't wrong either. The world went past as the train moved along as a rapid pace, the town of Hulbury quickly disappearing from view as it did. Replaced by nature and forests, and the distant view of the ocean side within a matter of minutes. As the talking of the kids and other passengers chatting in the distance continued you pressed your forehead to the window and closed your eyes. Peace allowing you to drift off for the moment as for once you had no worries and nothing weighed on your shoulders, so you got a well deserved break for once. The next five days for the four of you were a bit uncomfortable but managable. A lot more managable than camping at least. When night fell you four decided that you'd take the two empty seats across the small walk way from the four of you so each of you could have one place to sleep comfortably(or as comfortable as you could sleep on a train) and would take turns staying up to make sure none of you missed the stop at Motostoke. Or in case something else happened. Victor volunteered to stay the first night up that rolled around which you were thankful for and the other three of you slept. The next morning you woke and you were greeted with the sight of Victor barely awake leaning his head against the table. Guess he kept true to his word. He only had time to east a couple things Gloria shoved into his hands from your food rations into his hands before he ended up falling asleep leaning against the wall. You felt a little guilty for letting him stay up for so long but it was for a good reason. The second day went as well as the first. The train rode on, Victor slept most of the day away only waking up around sunset before going back to sleeping again that second night, Gloria excitedly showed you the battle between herself and Nessa from the League's official website as well. You watched and had to agree with Gloria that it was a very close call. Managing to defeat Nessa in the first round, losing the second, and then just BARELY winning the third. Good thing it was a good enough score to pass. She was certainly stronger than Milo from what you'd seen. When it came the second night Gloria ended up volunteering to stay up that time stating that she'd use her favorite videos of the League's past battles to keep her up as she always stayed up and never missed a detail when she did watch them. This being confirmed by Victor who looked a little worried over that but was too tired from last night to argue and it was agreed. Day three rolled around and it was the same as the first two. Only this time Gloria spent most of the day leaning against a slightly annoyed Victor snoring. Did she always snore? You must've been too deep in sleep to notice before now, at least Hop found his friends' situation amusing. And then guess who got volunteered by Victor to stay up that night as revenge for laughing at him. Hop wasn't very amused after that. And thus the fourth day came and everyone was awake minus poor Hop who laid upon one of the empty seats during most of the time there. But it was a matter of fact your turn to keep watch as they all slept and agreed without hesitation. After all it was only fair. During the entirety of the trip so fair you all rationed out the food you bought from Hulbury whenever hungry, and walked up and down the walk way between all the train seats if you needed to stretch your legs. Many people coming and going and sometimes giving the one taking up a whole seat to sleep a strange look before moving on. The conductor announcing each stop and as you all came to it. So far none were Motostoke but it was only a matter of time. That night you stayed up as slowly one by one the kids and your sobble fell asleep leaving you the only one awake as the sun set and was replaced with the moon and stars in the silent night. The dark nature of forests and meadows flew by quickly only with the occasional town or house in the countryside lighting up the landscape. It was actually rather peaceful and beautiful. You could almost fall asleep. And you almost did quite a few times but you managed to jerk yourself awake each time. Gloria had offered to let you stream some shows on her phone just as she had done before but you had declined the offer.....Maybe you should've accepted because your eyes slipped closed once. And once again like in your dreams you were back home. A much younger you. Around Gloria's age of fifthteen or so. You were playing a game. The whole surroundings were fuzzy..as if you were seeing everything through a foggy telescope, being able to see things but being too blurry to see much of the finer details. Younger blurry you looked up just as angry footsteps stomped their way towards you and whatever game you were playing. BAM!! With a loud bang your door was flung open hitting the wall and younger you jumped to your feet as the blurry form of your mother standing in the doorway. Even if her face was blurry you could tell she was very angry.
"WHAT DID I TELL YOU!?" She shouted angrily as you dumbly stood there. Even as she stomped over and swiped the controller from your younger self's hands. "I told you to study for your year's finals and what do I find!? You playing these stupid games after I slave away at a minimal wage job that barely covers the bills as it is!! Do you want the electricity bill getting higher!? Do you not want to get into a good college!? No daughter of mine is going to be stuck with her mind in the gutter from these dumb timewasters!!"
"HA!"
Your head snapped up colliding with the cool window of the train which in turn made you curse out as your hands instinctively shot up to clutch at where you hit your head. Groaning and looking around, it took a moment for your eyes to adjust to the dark again....And you sighed in relief seeing the sleeping figures of the kids and your sobble sleeping facedown on the table. Your hand went from rubbing your head to rubbing your face as you let relief wash over you....A dream...It was just another dream thank goodness. But one you weren't keen on revisiting. Safe to say you didn't fall asleep again that night, nor did you the fifth day despite the kids insisting you at least take a powernap before you arrived but again you refused dodging the questions and eventually they dropped it but kept giving your very tired form worried looks every so often. The day was a blur as you kept drifting in and out of small sleeping spells until nodding off that fifth night, barely remembering Victor volunteering to stay up a second time for that night before completely nodding off into a thankfully dreamless slumber.
"AH!! Y/N WAKE UP!!"
"AH!" Once again as if fate thought it'd be some funny joke, you ended up hitting your head against the window...again...and once again you cried out and clutched your head. The only difference this time was that someone was dragging your half awake butt out of the seat as your brain barely registered what was going on as you barely managed to stumble to your legs getting dragged out. Another person grabbing your other arm and pulling along with whoever was already making your barely upright body hurriedly stumble down the walk way of the train. Your brain began to finally catch up and you realized the two who were pulling your staggering form was Hop and Gloria with your sobble desperately clinging to her enormous backback. By the time you fully registered what was going on they already had you stumbling into what could only be the inside of a train station. "What the-"
"You couldn't have woken us up?," Gloria barked at someone and you blinked over tiredly where she was looking as Hop ushered your staggering form over to one of the seats. Took you a moment to realize that it was Victor who was sluggishly putting his grey beanie back on his head.
"M' sorry," he tiredly mumbled. Judging by the bags under his eyes and the tired look he gave, he was in need of some sleep. "I guess I must've dozed off when we passed the station in Motostoke."
Your blood ran cold as you stared at him and Hop made you sit down. Passed Motostoke!? Any sleepy feelings were mostly dashed out at the spike of concern. How far were you away from Motostoke then!? Were you going to have to walk a long way back there!? Take another train back!? Were you going to miss the chance to battle Kabu?!
"Actually this is better than stopping in Motostoke."
.....The three of you turned to Hop as he smiled. "....Excuse me?"
"Yeah!" He pointed towards the outside of the station. "Mine Number two is located just out of Motostoke right? We're back in the Wild Area. Which means we can go to the mine sooner and see about the hold up with Kabu!"
...Gloria slowly gained a smile. "Oh yeah! I hadn't realized that! That's why yer a genius Hop!" Hop chuckled shyly at the praise. Tho Victor very much disagreed as he frowned.
"What?! We can't just go to the mines as soon as we step off the train! What about getting a spot at Budew Drop Inn for sleep!?"
"There'll be plenty of time for that!" Gloria waved her brother off as he scowled looking like he was about ready to yell at her.
Guess you'd better step in. "Hey. Calm down you two." Both of them looked towards you as you frowned. "Gloria, Victor has a point. He's tired and probably needs some sleep....Maybe we should go back to Motostoke City and let him get a couple rooms for us-"
"THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!!," Victor yelled out reaching around to grab his backpack from the slew of seats offered too by the station.
"....What?"
Tiredly, Victor looked at the rest of you three. "You all can head to the mines and I can go reserve our rooms and wait for you. I'm tired."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa." You interjected pointing a hand at him. "You REALLY expect ME to let you go into Motostoke by yourself when you barely got any sleep last night??"
"I'll be fine," he insisted regaining his composure and sighing as the weight of the very large pack settled back on his back. "If it makes you feel better, I'll wait for you guys here and we can take the noon train back into Motostoke in a couple hours."
You paused for a moment before turning towards the door outside. It looked like the sun was just starting to rise from the night and the train was starting to pull away at this moment. It was pretty early in the morning, so if you left now then the four of you could make the noon train back in time. And Victor could get a bit of rest..but you were a bit unsure about letting Victor just stay here by himself. So you looked back at him. "Are you sure you wanna stay here by yourself?"
"I spent an entire year by myself traveling before Gloria even started this journey," he confired waving his hand. "I'll be fine for a few hours...*yaaawwwnn*"
You still weren't too convinced but agreed that this would probably be a better plan than letting Victor try to go into Motostoke by himself and drop from lack of sleep, or having Hop or Gloria just run off into a mine. (especially since that worked oh so well last time.) "Ok. You win. But I at least want you to seat over here where the station master can see you in case something happens, alright?"
Victor sighed but nodded. "Fine. But make sure you guys get back before the next train otherwise we'll have to wait for the night train or walk there."
The three of you agreed before exiting the station and once again you found yourself standing in the Wild Area like you did a month ago when you were on your way to the Entrance Ceremony. It may have only been a little more than a month ago but it felt like forever ago now. It still looked the same as it did when you first arrived here minus the giant herd of wild wooloo on the tracks. Hop walked up next to you and looked around at the lovely sight. Commenting on how cool it looked. To which you agreed before turning over to Gloria who finally walked out of the station stuffing two pokeballs into her bag as she walked up to you.
"Hey. What are those?," you asked gesturing to them.
"Some people in there didn't want their eevee and pikachu. So I got both of them."
You rose a brow but decided not to comment on that, instead looking around. "Ok. So do either of you two know where this mine is? I don't remember seeing it last time we were here. ..Mostly being chased around by a giant onix and battling super powered pokemon."
"You're never going to let me live that down are you?"
"I do." Hop beamed before pointing off to the fight across the giant spacious open land to where a pretty decent area of trees were huddled together by a hill side. "It's there by those trees according to the map, and every other site where it's listed. C'mon! We can get there and be back in like two hours."
While you were weary of wondering around an area where wild animals-...Er..Pokemon could chase after you at any moment, but seeing no other option the three of you began walking. Despite you still feeling a bit tired from not sleeping the night or day before last night, you felt alert looking around you three in the grass and plants as you walked. Making sure no pokemon jumped out at the three of you as you walked and walked..and walked before the cliff side jutting out of the earth surrounded by trees. As you three approuched and managed to pass through the trees you finally came across it. A giant, dark opening within the rocks being only lit on the inside by a few lanturns strung along the walls leading down into it.
"This is it!," Hop excitedly exclaimed as he picked up his pace gesturing for you two to follow him faster. "C'mon! Kabu's close! I can feel it!"
Increasing your speed you followed him into the cave's opening and blinked as mostly darkness overtook your vision. This cave was BIG, way bigger than the last cave you and Gloria traveled through. The ceilings were high and the same gems as the last one was scattered about the wallas....as well as a few construction workers and equipment.
......You pointed at them. "Hey. I thought you said this was public area!"
"It is," Hop's voice from somewhere ahead of you called back, "But they can collect Wishing Stars here too so they come by and collect them."
Oh that made sense, you glanced at the workers for a little while longer before turning back about to ask Hop something but stopped....They were gone. "....HOP!?" You shouted getting only an echo back, and some of the workers looking at you before you took off in the direction his voice came from. Oh great! First minute in the cave and already you lost these kids!! "GLORIA!? HOP!! C'MON YOU TWO!!" You called out but surprise, surprise only got your echo back. ...Great. Well you better find them before they got in trouble again or any of you got lost. As you traveled farther in with only lanturns plastered on the walls for light, you began to notice how it was connected with the Wild Area. There was pokemon all around here. From bat-like pokemon hanging from the ceiling, a couple scraggies hopping about, and more than once in this GIGANTIC cave and it's caverns, you walked by a small cave like pond and could've sworn you saw some kind of red crustation pop in and out. But with the limited light it made it hard to see and find out for real. More than once you would call out either of the two's names but the only answers were more echoes of your voice, and the sounds of scared pokemon as they fled from your voice. Your sobble(who had regained it's spot on your shoulder after leaving the station) was staring around wide eyed with chirps, occasionally reaching out towards the sparkling stones on the wall. "Yeah. I know they're pretty. But we can't stop and look at them right now. We need to find those two before they get in trouble again." Your sobble chirped curiously grabbing at a sparkling stone from a very close stalagmite as you passed it, the rock easily plucking free as he tugged it. Looking at it curiously...before sticking it in his mouth. !? "HEY!" In an instant you grabbed him by the chin. Your other hand trying to open his mouth as like a child, the sobble squirmed and pushed away. "DROP IT!! BAD POKEMON!! SPIT IT OUT!! IT'S NOT FOOD!!" Instead of listening your pokemon turned his head cheeks puffed out as your fear of him swallowing something that could hurt him rose. "Spit that out or I'm never going to let you have bites of my curry ever again!" This time the sobble paused, looking at you for any signs of deceit, but you absolutely meant it. Holding your hand out expectantly to it.......It opened it's mouth and the sparkling stone fell right into your hand. Quickly you pulled it away from your sobble releasing it with a scowl. "Good boy. Now don't do that again! Rocks aren't edible!" He gave off a chirp in protest but didn't do any more than pout like a toddler on your shoulder. With a sigh you shook your head and looked at the small stone in your hand...Huh. This one didn't look like all the others on the wall. Maybe it was a different one-
"You!" You jumped at the sudden voice. Blinking around at who could've said it when your eyes landed on someone walking towards you in the dim light with pale features. ..Your f/c eyes widening when you realized who it was. Standing before you was Bede! You hadn't seen him a little over a week ago by now, but for some reason he was here and he frowned at you. "It's an inconvience in of itself that I run into that girl and the Champion's chatterbox younger brother, but now I run into the very lady who disrespected the Chairman's assistant as well! Are you all trying to get on my nerves or is this bad luck on my part?"
It took you a moment to respond as he rubbed his head but you frowned right back at him. "Look, Kid. I'm not the one who straight up walked up to someone who's minding their own business and rudely ask about why I was here? For all you knew I could've just been going for a walk or sight seeing the famous Mine Number Two or just exploring the Wild Area. Did I come up to YOU and accuse you of following us from Hulbury? No. No I didn't."
Bede stared at you from under his hand, brain seeming to process what you were saying before a deeper frown is what he chose to go with. "BAH!! Never mind then! I've wasted enough time as it is down here especially after running into those two again. Now if you'll move aside I'll be taking my...." He froze. Purple eyes widening at you, and you rose a brow at his all of a sudden silence. ".......You." He pointed right at the sparkling stone in your hand. "That Wishing Star! Give it to me."
...You held up the stone. "Y'mean the rock this guy tried to eat-" Hold up! Weren't Wishing Stars the magic stone thingies everyone used to gigantamax their pokemon around here!? " You already have one of these." You pointed to the band on his wrist. "Why do you need this one?"
he gave a small growl of frustration. "I don't need to explain myself to the likes of you, Woman! If you won't give it too me then I'll just take it from you!" With that he whipped out a pokeball.
"Oh for the love of- You can't be serious!"
With a toss and bright like a small Gothita pokemon exploded in black in white in front of you. .....WHY was the first reaction for everyone to just whip out a pokemon to intimidate you if you hesitated even just a little bit?? This kid absolutely had NO manners! "Gothita will make quick work of you and your sobble if you don't hand that stone over to me this instant." He was REALLY getting on your nerves. You stepped forward. He smirked. "Another challenge? Really I couldn't be more inconvenienced today as it i-" You stepped OVER Gothita who looked confused as it why you weren't standing farther away sending the sobble on your shoulder to battle. Bede seemed also rather smackgobbed as well. Guess he hadn't ever experienced someone who would physically step over his pokemon instead of battling. His eyes widening as you walked right up to him with a scowl.
You stared a moment at his frozen and confused stance before deciding to talk. "Y'know. Obviously you have no manners. The Chairman should be ashamed of himself if his endorsed challenger is so rude to someone minding their own business and demanding things like a spoiled toddler who's never been told no before."
Bede flinched. Blinking rapidly in your shadow before seeming to regain his voice. "D-Don't talk about Chairman Rose like that-"
"I WAS talking about YOU, Bede!" He flinched back as you leaned forward. "Obviously no one ever taught you manners so I'll teach you a quick lesson in them right now."
His eyes became smaller. "L-Lesson? What l-lesson you m-mad woman-"
"Is THIS what you want?,'' you cut him off holding the wishing star to his face. He paused for a moment, almost going cross eyed as he looked at the thing in front of his face...before reaching a hand towards i- You held it away from him with a scowl. "NO. You don't take things that don't belong to you without asking first. Now I'll ask again. Is this what you want?"......He nodded. "Ok. Do you know what please and thank you are?"....He nodded again. "Good. Now what do you say when you want something?"
He didn't answer at first. Looking at you with some unreadable expression. Confusion? Shell shock?...Maybe fear? ".....May I...please have that Wishing Star, Miss?" Narrowing your eyes for a moment you eventually held it up to him and he reached for it again.
"Yes, you may. But I want an apology first?"
He paused again. "....A-Apology?!"
"Yeah. For acting so rude before. If you really are the better person you will apologize because I don't think the Chairman raised a boy with no manners."
You both stood there for a moment not moving or breaking eye contact before he backed down first and looked away. "Tch! Fine! I'm.....sorry! Now can you please just give me the stone so I can leave!?"
Smiling satisfied you nodded and held it out to him...he...slowly finally took it from you. "What do you say?"
"Mmmm....Thank you," he forced out through gritted teeth as you nodded.
"Good. Now I have to go now but I don't want to be talked to rudely like that again if I ever see you again. ...And don't call me Woman. My name's Y/n. I know you're better than that, Bede." He paused....blinking and looking up at you again seeming to be so, so confused. "You said you saw Gloria and Hop right? Did they go down that way?" You asked pointing behind him. Still staring he slowly nodded. "Ok. Thanks. You be careful getting out of here ok?"
He didn't say anything and just confusedly watch you step around him silently and continue walking away down into the dimly lit cave. At least you were on the right track now. Hopefully you'll be able to catch up with the two of them soon. And by soon it meant it'd take longer than you realized, coming across a fork in the road as hey say and leaving two caverns tunnels to chose from.......You ultimately decided on going left since it was more lit and figured they'd be smart enough to also go down this passage way. As you walked you called out a few times more still getting no answers. This was getting ridiculous!! Where could those two have gone!? Surely they couldn't have gone THAT far away from you in the short time you weren't looking!
"Thank you for helping out with my training, Team Yell." You paused as the voice rang out....What was- "But I must say it's unforgivable for you to get in the way of a carkol hard at work." ...OK! THAT WAS DEFINATELY A VOICE!! Granted it sounded older and nothing like the two kids, but if someone was down here then maybe you could ask for directions or if they saw the two. You broke out in a job up the tunnel towards the voices up ahead.
"We weren't gettin' in it's way! We were tryin' to cheer it on!," a different man's voice insisted loudly. What the-
You rounded the corner as the tunnel gave way to a giant cavern and you froze....OH NO NOT THEM!!
"Still, you did a number on us in that pokemon battle so...it's time for Team Yell to scarper and give a morale boost elsewhere!," one rock star wannabe said to an older man and standing next to another rock star wannabe.
You stared dumbfounded. SERIOUSLY!? What was the chances that you'd run into them all the way down here again!?
"Cheering is one thing but one shouldn't get in the way of honest work,'' the older man scolded the two of them.
You rose a brow at them, eyes slowly going to look behind them. And widening as you saw two teens standing in the entrance of another passage way across the cavern room. ...You frowned. "HOP!! GLORIA!!" Everyone either jumped or snapped their heads over to you as you shouted at the kids' direction. "Dang nabit! Why'd you run off from me like that!? Don't you know how to wait up!?" You started walking over towards them.
...One rockstar wannabe grabbed his friend wide eyed as he stared at you walking past. "C-Crikey! Bro, it's that dame that nailed Andrew in the eyes with dirt!"
"Wha- Seriously!? Let's get outta 'ere before that sobble starts singing a sad tune yo!"
You paid no mind to the scattering footsteps as you walked up to the now gulity looking pair of kiddos. "There you are! *sigh* Do you know how worried I was running around here like a headless chicken?"
"......What's a chicken?," Gloria asked.
"We're really sorry, Y/n," Hop apologized frowning, "we thought you were right behind us and then we ran into some trouble."
"Oh yeah. So did I. Bede needed some manners taught to him."
"Wait..Ya saw the Mareep Head??"
You nodded. "I ran into him on his way out. He said you gave him some trouble."
"By trouble if ya mean kickin' his behind-"
"Nevermind that. Y/n we found him!"
"Found who?"
Hop pointed behind you and you turned with a brow raised. The old man was petting a pokemon that looked like a giant living piece of coal. "There! That's Kabu!...Man, he's wicked! No wonder he's the fire-type gym leader!"
...THAT was Kabu!? Well whaddya know. It made sense since by looking at him now, he wore an unmistakable gym suit. The old man, Kabu, looked up at you three from petting his pokemon and gave a polite smile. "Ah, you are the trainers endorsed by Leon! Hop and Gloria, am I right?"
Both pair of young eyes went wide at him. ".....You know our names!?"
"Yes. Leon has spoken about you before. And your concerned friend just literally shouted your names just now."
"......Oh. W-Well we're here to see you actually! A-About having a pokemon battle!"
"Naturally you would. I'm just training right up until the last moment so that I can guarantee the perfect match when I face you gym challengers."
"Oh really?," you asked and he nodded, "This deep in a cave?"
"I specialize in fire-type pokemon, and the water-type pokemon in Galar Mine Number Two are the perfect opponents to train against, Young Lady."....He hummed and you all watched as he looked at a watch around his wrist. "....Regardless it's getting late. I must leave if I'm going to get the gym ready by tomorrow." he looked back to the three of you with a smile. "Just go straight once you get out of this mine and you'll reach Motostoke. Get a good at the hotel, and make sure you're both in your top condition." He turned around calling to the pokemon. "Come on, Carkol. Time for you to head on home, too. I'll make sure you get there safely. We're going to be on fire tomorrow!" He began jogging off and the thing lumbered off after him with a grunt of it's own. The man looked old enough to be your grandfather and could still jog as fast as you had done earlier. Impressive.
"....I remember Lee talking about Kabu." You blinked over to Hop as he looked at where Kabu disappeared. "He said that a lot of gym challengers give up because they just can't beat Kabu. Man, now I'm getting all fired up too!"
"Yeah. Well, I'm tired out!" Both paused looking at you. "C'mon. You heard what he said. Let's get back to Victor and get to the Inn."
The three of you started making your way back out of the mine and back towards The Wild Area Station. You were tired and you could use a rest before catching the evening train back into Motostoke where you began in the first place. Surprisingly you made it out faster than it took going in the caverns.
"That carkol from before," Hop commented off in thought, "I guess it must've been here on a job. You do know about poke job by now right?" You nodded. "Course you do! I bet he hired that carkol to train with him or something!"
"You might be right, but after today I think I just want to get to the hotel and relax."
Hop nodded. ".....Oh hey. I think we found out who those guys in the punk make up were?"
You froze. Nearly stumbling over your feet as you did so before snapping your face over towards the boy. "WHAT!?"
He nodded. "Yeah. They called themselves Team Yell. Which is weird cuz I've never heard of them before and I don't remember Lee mentioning them at all. What about you Glor?" Gloria shook her head no to his question.....Team Yell?? They were team Yell?? What name was that?? Any 'team' you knew from the Pokemon franchise was evil. Team Rocket being the most obvious in your mind, but if that's true then does that mean those Rockstar wannabe's are more dangerous than they seem? Did Team Yell have a world domination scheme from the game!? You tried to wrack your brain for any and all possible villainous plots in the game that could involve a whole bunch of rockstar make up wearing hooligans....But ended up with...absolutely nothing!! DANGIT!! You couldn't remember anything from playing it years ago! ....*sigh* The only thing you could do now was push on and keep your eyes peeled for any possible trouble they'd cause you. "Now, I'm cream-crackered." Hop's voice snapped you back into reality. "I'm for the Budew Drop Inn and some sleep. Come tomorrow that Fire Gym Leader Kabu better be ready because I'm coming for him!!"
Gloria nodded in agreement. "Yeah. We better get back ta Vic before he decides on givin' us another boring lecture on being late."
You couldn't agree more either. Maybe some more sleep will help you think more clearly than normal. The three of you made your way back towards the station with the afternoon sun rising high in the sky, upon entering you discovered Victor exactly where you all left him. Fast asleep leaning back in one of the chairs. He must've been more tired than you realized, maybe it was for the best he stayed behind here. It took only an hour of your four waiting, appreciating the small break your body got, before the afternoon train came rumbling on in as per usual. It was a jumbled process of trying to wake up Victor who acted like a caffiene lacking zombie until you and Hop decided 'Screw this' and both of you picked him up by either side and dragged his half asleep, staggering, groggy butt over and onto the train with Gloria right behind. It wasn't much easier pushing him into a seat next to you and trying to wake him up for the ten minute ride back into Motostoke, before unsuccessfully doing so and resulted in both of you again half dragging Victor off the train in Motostoke station and on your way to Budew Drop Inn with Gloria trailing right behind you three. Sure it was hard, but you couldn't imagine trying to do this walking all the way back to Motostoke through the Wild Area with dangerous pokemon about, so the train was much better. It took a bit of lifting and slight yelling from Hop for Victor to wake up, getting some strange looks from other people as you went, but by some miracle the four of you somehow managed to make it into the inn you stayed at before during the entrance ceremony. The golden statue still gleaming as ever as you and Hop struggled to get the mumbling Victor up the stairs and over to the bewildered looking clerk at the front desk. WHAT THE HECK WAS IN HIS BACKPACK MAKING HIM SO HEAVY!? It was an effort to keep him up standing as Hop smiled awkwardly at the man.
"Uh hi! We need two rooms for the night please. And fast before my friend decides to drop dead on us."
The clerk blinked for a moment before slowly nodded. "Oh. Of course. Are you challengers here to battle against Kabu?"
Hop nodded. "Yeah that's us alright. Or will be once we get some sleep."
The clerk nodded in understanding smiling. "Oh yes! Wait here for a moment and I'll get you your room keys."
You rose a brow. "Don't we need to register?"
"Oh no. Mr. Kabu has graciously told us to put any registered gym challengers' stays on his tab and send him the bills. After all he doesn't know how long they'll stay before quitting and going home. He's a kind man that doesn't want them or their families stuck with any expensive hotel bills if they stay for a long time before getting stomped out," he said so casually like it was no big deal. ....You and Hop gave each other a look..before exchanging one with Gloria who just shrugged at the both of you. The clerk turned around. "Just one moment please while I check and see which rooms would be available."
"Jeez. If Kabu's this tough, Rahain and Lee's gonna be even more tough-"
"Excuse me." The three of you looked over your shoulder towards a soft polite girl's voice with an accent you couldn't place. Standing there was a teen around these guys' age in almost gothic attire and right blue eyes. At her heels was a small pokemon who you'd call hamster like. Except she wasn't looking at you or Hop or Victor. But Gloria. "Uhhh. Challenger Gloria, Right? From Postwick?"
Gloria blinked in surprise seemingly surprised, before raising a suspicious brow at the girl. "Yeah? ....And yer who?"
"Marnie." She answered politely back. "Out givin' it your all even this late, huh? Hey. Help me with somethin' for a sec. Would you?"
Gloria remained silent for a moment. "....Help you with what?"
"I want t' see if I'm ready for the next leg of the Gym Challenge."
"...Why me?"
"You're one of the challengers endorsed by the Champion. I figured the best way to see if I was ready at all was t' see if I'd be able to beat a fellow gym challenger before I leave. Would you like to battle with me?"
"Gloria. We need to get Victor to his room so he can sleep," you countered feeling the weight of Victor start to weigh down more on you.
"I know, I know but...." She looked between the girl and the three of you. "She asked for my help, and it'd be rude to just say no right?" You gave her a look. "Oh c'mon please, Y/n! It'll be quick. N' and out! Easy peasy berry squeezy."
....You groaned. You really didn't have time for this! " Fine! But please for the love of Mike hurry and get back? We've been running around all day and you need rest for the battle tomorrow!"
She beamed. "Ya got it! Get ready ta have your team beat!"
The girl smiled. "Wicked! Got some fight in you, Huh? "
"You bet! Let's do this!"
You sighed and turned shaking your head. Only distracted from them when Hop grabbed the keys from the clerk and jingled them at you to let you know you two could now go and get Victor laying down. As the two of you turned to struggle Victor towards the elevator the girls left-....!? Your head snapped around as a dash of red and black crossed the corner of your eye, but it was gone the moment you turned around.....What the-
"C'mon Y/N! He's gettin' too heavy to lug around for much longer."
...You turned back to the elevator before the doors closed behind you. It was probably nothing anyways. Right now you had a kid who needed to sleep badly. The two of you managed to drag Victor who ended up passing out in your arms to his and Hop's room, and after Hop struggled to open the door, dragged him to the nearest bed and plopped him on top of it with sighs of relief when your poor body was finally freed from heaving him around. After assuring you he'd take care of things from there, you took your own room key from Hop and went to your own room. It didn't take you too long to get settled in after taking a quick shower, and again rummaging through your pack to fish some food out for your chirping, pouting, hungry sobble. Man the little guy ate a whole lot. It was a little while later as you were eating yourself that Gloria finally showed up, knocking on the door before coming in after hearing your voice.
"Hey. How did the battle go?"
She smiled. "I'd hate to brag....But I won."
You nodded. "Hey! That's great. Glad to know it went well."
She nodded again. "Yeah....But I gotta tell ya something." You rose a brow at her curiously. "...Those Team Yell guys from earlier? They were there."
You dropped the small dried piece of fruit you were holding which your sobble was quick to snatch up and eat. "WHAT!?"
"YEAH!! There was a guy and this woman wearin' all this all this punk make up, and they were cheerin' for 'er. I almost lost cuz I they were so loud makin' it hard to focus. I guess that's why they're Team 'Yell'. Should call 'em team Scream if ya ask me."
"Team Yell was with the girl?" She nodded. "Did they try anything?! Are you ok?"
"I'm fine," she assured you, "But nah. One of 'em was wavin' this flag that had Marnie's picture on it. ...Do they do that? Y'know make merch for Gym Challengers with our faces on them? If they do I'm totally buying Mum one!"
They....Team Yell was....Cheering on Marnie?? That didn't make any sense. They had said a while ago that they were trying to stop Gym Challengers. Why would they be cheering a Gym Challenger on if they were trying to stop them let alone have merch of one??? It didn't add up. Except for maybe-......You paused. Back at the bridge. When you and Victor encountered those two thugs trying to steel the poor nurse's bike!! They spoke of a lady! Could it by that the girl and 'Our Lady' they spoke of was one in the same? Or was Marnie somehow connected to the woman they spoke of?? Was she a part of Team Yell secretly? If yes then what interest did they have in the Gym Challenge?? Did Leon have something they want?? Were they just trying to cheat their way to the top??.....Or..Your eyes widened. Was there something that the Challenge league had that they wanted and were after?? Control over the Galar Region? Money? Power? Fame? Some other powerful thing you couldn't remember?? ...If she wasn't a part of them then what WAS their purpose for cheering her on?...Could the mysterious woman they spoke of be related to Marnie? Or maybe someone who endorsed her for the gym challenge? You shook your head. It was all so confusing. Too many questions and absolutely no answers at all. It made your head hurt just swimming with the many possibilities.
"Oh by the way. While I was out the battling got me thinkin' 'bout some strageties I could use to beat Kabu."
"Oh really?," you muttered half listening deep in thought.
"Uh huh. But I gotta ask. Y/n, can I borrow your sobble?"
"Sure you can-.....Wait. ..What?!"
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toria-lilith · 3 years
Text
Smoke and Roses - A Douglas Booth!Nikki Sixx fan fiction (chapter one)
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A/N - Hi guys! So I made a post about this a few days ago but I decided, since I finally remembered the fucking password to this blog, that I’d rework some of the writing and plot points in Smoke and Roses, and republish it! I really hope you enjoy more this time round! 
Fic Summary: Holland Van-Ness is a PR manager. At only twenty three years old, she is smart, sharp and straight edge; and the best in the business at what she does. But when she gets involved with the reckless Motley Crue, her life changes forever.
DISCLAIMER:: I would like start by saying I do not condone any of the actions portrayed by any member of Motley Crue, any member of their crew, or any OC. This work is fictitious, and is in no way meant to glamorise drug or alcohol abuse. ‘Smoke and Roses’ is based on the events of Netflix’s ‘The Dirt’, and the autobiography of the same name, and follows the both of them closely, and will include details regarding the aforementioned abuse that may be triggering to some readers. The timeline in this fic also differs slightly from real life and The Dirt. With all that being said, proceed with caution, and enjoy!
It was the ringing of the phone that awoke Holland.
In her grogginess, she seriously considered rolling back over and ignoring it, but just when she thought it was done, it started to ring again; long, and loud, and tearing her back from the comfort of sleep.
Holland groaned. She rolled begrudgingly out of bed and made her way across her bedroom, where her phone was hung upon the wall opposite her bed by the window. Whoever was calling her better have had a damn good reason to be bothering her at nine AM, and on a Saturday of all days.
“Hello?” She said tiredly into the receiver, running a hand back through her dark blonde hair to push it back from her face, “Holland Van-Ness speaking.”
“Ahh, Holly,” a voice, irritatingly cheerful for the time of day, greeted her on the other end. “It’s Doc Mghee.”
Well, that certainly peaked her interest, and Holland was suddenly wide awake. Though she had known Doc for years, he rarely called for a chat, which could only mean one thing; he had a job for her. “Doc, good to hear from you,” she responded warmly, “to what do I owe the pleasure?”
It had been a year or so since Holland had last spoken to the infamous manager. He had been a close friend of her Father’s before he passed away, and had been the one to help her break into the music industry when she was a mere eighteen years old. That had been five years ago; and Holland was eternally grateful. She owed a massive amount of her success to Doc. “Tell me,” he said, “how soon are you able to get to LA?”
Holland raised an eyebrow at the question even though Doc couldn’t see her. “Doc, if I’m going to make a trip to LA, I should know what it’s about.”
Doc chuckled. “I’m getting to it. I’ve found you a band.”
“Oh yeah?” Holland had expected that, of course. She balanced the phone between her ear and her shoulder and reached over to her dresser to fish for a notebook and pen. “And… what band might this be?”
“You’re not going to like it,” Doc chuckled again, and Holland didn’t like the way he seemed to be deliberately avoiding answering her question. “But just hear me out, alright? I think this might be just the challenge you’ve been looking for.”
Holland felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. Part of her thought she knew exactly who had had in mind, and he was right; she didn’t like it. “...Go on,” she pressed him after a moment.
Doc chuckled for a third time. He sounded unmistakably nervous. “Motley Crue.”
For a moment, Holland was silent as she digested this information, and then she laughed. “No. Absolutely not.”
“Holly-”
“Are you crazy? Doc, you seriously want me to fly all the way out to LA to be their PR manager? That’s career suicide!” 
“Holly,” he went on pleadingly, “these boys need help. If anyone can sort out their shit-show of a public image, it’s you. They’re on the verge of real success here, but my God, their image has got to be fixed. They need you, Holly. Just come to one show. If you think they’re beyond help, I’ll pay for your flight back. But just give them a chance. These kids need some sense talking into them and they don’t listen to me.”
“Kids?” Holland scoffed. “They’re not kids, they’re grown ass men!”
“Look, the choice is yours,” Doc sighed heavily, “can I expect to meet you at the airport or not?”
“Dammit Doc…” she groaned loudly, making it very clear to him exactly how she felt. “Fine. I’ll catch the next flight out.”
Holland heard Doc cheer. “Holland Van-Ness, you are a star!”
The line went dead as Doc hung up. That time, it was Holland’s turn to sigh. She’d heard stories about Motley Crue that were rivalled only by her nightmares. In the six months since they’d debuted, they’d singlehandedly caused more problems than any other band Holland had managed, and she had had to put up with some serious shit. From their very first gig, Holland had decided they were trouble, and she had sworn to herself that she was not going to get involved with them or any other band like them. Apparently, that was not a promise she was going to be keeping.
Holland padded sleepily into the bathroom, where she lingered for a moment to brush her teeth and pull a comb through her hair. She paused by the sink to take a good luck at her reflection. She looked a damn sight better than she had done five minutes ago, but there was an emotion in her eyes that Holland didn’t immediately recognize. She realised after a moment, that it was fear. 
She drew in a shaky breath. When she told Doc working with Motley was career suicide, she hadn’t been joking, and that thought scared her more than anything. If she didn’t have her job, what did she have?
She rushed back into her bedroom where she dressed quickly and threw a few essentials into a small suitcase. Anything else she needed, or had forgotten, she supposed she could buy once she landed in LA. Holland had worked with a menagerie of bands; from small, local acts to headlining musicians. She had helped all of them maintain a fairly respectable public image. But now, in the cab on her way to the airport to meet Motley freakin’ Crue, she couldn’t help but feel as though she was completely out of her depth.
She made her way through customs fairly quickly and within the hour, found herself in a less than comfortable aisle seat on a four hour flight from Miami to LA. That sinking feeling remade its home in her stomach as the plane started its ascension, and Holland found herself gripping the arm rest, so tightly her knuckles strained white against her skin. She was at least comforted by the thought that when she inevitably wanted to return home, she wouldn’t have to pay for the flight.
As the plane made its way through the sky towards LA, Holland tried to catch up on the sleep that Doc had so cruelly taken from her but it was nearly impossible over the roar of the engines and her own feelings of anxiety, and so eventually, she gave up and resigned herself to watching the clouds whizz by the window. Before she knew it, LA was upon her, and she found Doc waiting for her by the luggage claim.
When she saw her old family friend, all her frustration momentarily drained away and she embraced him in a tight, if not brief, hug. “It’s good to see you, Holly,” he told her with a smile.
“And you!” She said. She looked anxiously over his shoulder, expecting to see the band stroll through the duty free stores towards them. “They’re not joining us?” She asked him.
“Relax,” Doc assured her quickly, “they’re not here. I thought you’d want to get some brunch and get settled in first.”
Holland smiled weakly, reassured. “That sounds great.”
She collected her suitcase and allowed Doc to carry it out to the cab for her. She could have carried it herself given that it wasn’t too heavy, but she was exhausted after her busy morning, and was secretly grateful for his help. When they got into the back of the cab, Doc looked as though he was going to start with some pleasantries, but when he turned to Holland and saw the look on her face, he knew she was ready to talk business. He could tell she had a lot of questions, and motioned for her to start.
“Alright,” she said, folding her hands casually on her lap, “first and foremost, where am I going to be staying? You didn’t mention a hotel or anything in your phone call.”
Doc grimaced and didn’t say anything for what felt like an eternity. “Once again,” he said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat, “you’re not going to like it.”
Holland’s face fell a mile. “Doc…” she deadpanned, “tell me I’m not going to be staying with them.” She looked at him intently but Doc said nothing, which only confirmed her fears. “Are you serious, Doc?” She asked him furiously, “working with them is going to be bad enough!”
“The money’s not bad,” he reminded her, hoping to diffuse the situation but she only scoffed.
“Yet clearly not good enough to buy me a hotel room,” she scowled. “Why the hell do I have to stay with them?”
“Holly, these boys aren’t like anyone you’ve ever worked with before,” Doc told her. “You’re going to have to work a lot harder with them than you have with any other band. You’re going to need them to trust you, Holly. And this is the way to do that.” He gave her a look that Holly recognized and understood almost instantly. It was the same pleading look her Father used when he wanted her to cooperate.
Even so, she groaned loudly. “Alright, fine,” she relented. “I’ll stay with them.” She sighed, turning to look out of the window to avoid seeing the triumphant grin on Doc’s face. “So, what are they like?”
“They’re…” Doc trailed off. He glanced out of his own window, as though the street passing by would inspire him. “They’re a handful,” he settled on eventually, “self centered. Arrogant. But, they’re talented as Hell, and I think they’ve got it in them to be good kids. They just need a little push in the right direction.”
Holland hummed in acknowledgement. She didn’t say anything else, but she didn’t need to. A beeping sound came from Doc’s pocket. He sighed, pulling out the small pager. A scowl passed over his face.
“Aw, crap,” he mumbled, “sorry, Holly. We might have to put that brunch on hold.” He slipped the pager back into his pocket and fed another address to the cab driver, different to the one he had initially given.
“Why?” Holland frowned, “what’s happened?��
“What’s happened is you’re about to start your job a couple hours early,” he said grimly, “there’s been a fight.”
Holland found herself rolling her eyes. “Of course there has,” she grumbled, though she didn’t know why she was surprised. When working with Motley Crue, she should have expected nothing less.
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the-magic-lava-lamp · 3 years
Text
Harvest Moon
Summary: {A light sequel to: Unforgettable}  They laughed, sort of sadly. The full night sky enriched them with gentle peace, strengthened by the soft light of the stars. The temperature dropped considerably since Sam had initially come out. But he didn’t mind the nice chill, it braced his skin and left him with tingling goosebumps. It reminded Sam how real the moment actually was. Paying less attention to the hearty sloshes of water, Sam picked up his radio.
Ships: SamBucky 
Word Count: 5,285
The light from the orange sunset flushed Sam Wilson’s cheeks, encouraging the spread of an internally hot blush. Color blossomed under his soft complexion with all the grace of the water rings rippling under the rocks skipping on the lake. Though the sweat was just beginning to puddle in his palms and drip down his temple, Sam was only focused on the fevered senses of comfort which had been deep-rooted in his chest since arriving back home. 
The babbling waters had called him out to the docks just the same as they did when he was small. And following that nostalgia, Sam felt the ghost of supper on the stove. Turns out his fucked up Avengers mind could still remind himself to be home before the porcelain plates hit the table. No longer his Mama--but Sarah who would be annoyed with him and that was perhaps more threatening. He thought as his tiny radio played on. 
AJ and Cass had fallen asleep with the gentle nudge of a fuzzy re-run of ‘Whose Line is it Anyway?’ and the promise of a hot meal when they awoke. Sam’s absence would be noticed very soon.
‘Sittin' in the mornin' sun
I'll be sittin' when the evenin' comes
Watching the ships roll in
Then I watch 'em roll away again, yeah
I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Watchin' the tide roll away, ooh
I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time…’
He swiped salty sweat from his brow and found himself dwelling on the evening, wanting to change the direction of the souring sun. No matter what, Sam always began to mourn the day at around 5 p.m. Everyday could’ve been better. The threat of night’s permanent closure and the bearer of nightmares fermented him with anxiety. He was working on that issue with his therapist. 
‘Now I'm just gon' sit, at the dock of the bay
Watchin' the tide roll away, ooh yeah
Sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time…’
Otis began the famed whistling as Sam leaned back on his hands, palms flat on the warm dock. He felt the movement just before a voice began whistling along behind him. It chirped delicately in Sam’s ear, until the song faded and with it--
Sam turned--Bucky Barnes sing-along.
Bucky grinned, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Nice to see you so…” He craned his neck and squinted his eyes. “Lazy.” Even he looked a bit confused by the word choice. 
“Thanks…” Sam chuckled. 
“I just mean--” Buck paused, scratching down from his chin to his neck. Sam saw that he did that often enough to earn patches of grainy red skin under his facial hair. 
Sam smirked, pulling his left thigh up and around from the edge. His eyes simmered Bucky’s blush. 
“Have you ever had the time to laze around?” Bucky asked, amazed at his own wondering. “To sit and watch the sun on the water?” He gestured frantically outward. “You’ve been a busy guy...not that I helped you with that any…”
Sam shook his head. “Nah, man. Tracking your ass for Steve reaped some rewards.” He gestured for the man to rest his old bones down next to him and Bucky hesitantly took the offer. His knees cracked with sharp pops all the way down. 
“No old man jokes, I swear-” 
Sam held up his hands. “I wasn’t planning on it, Bucky.” He glanced at Steve’s old friend and for a moment, couldn’t believe the man of history books and horror stories was ‘sun-setting’ in Sam’s home-town. The orange light caressed his face in the same eerie way it’d done way back at Tony’s funeral.
“Thanks for letting me stay-” Bucky went to rub his chin again. “Not quite separate vacations but…” He chuckled, fading off. It was subconscious, the way Bucky led in with no follow through. He wanted Sam to be the one to initiate the conversation. 
But Sam bit his tongue. He deserved to hear what Bucky had to say without having to pull it out himself. 
Bucky turned with those doe eyes, tired but with enough energy left to admire his partner. “I hurt you....” He frowned, bitter with himself. “I know that and I’m damn sorry, Sam.” His voice was crisp and steady but his eyes wavered. 
Sam sighed, eyes back on the water. “We were getting somewhere, man. And you just…” He flicked his hand out. “Disappeared on me.” He paused. 
“I shouldn’t have left you...especially at such an ambiguous time for us.” Bucky stumbled slightly on his words. 
Sam took a long blink, remembering the ‘unforgettable’  feeling of being held again. “I’m more hurt by the fact that I got nothing but radio silence from you-” He swallowed. “Past that-” He glanced at Bucky “Thing we had just started. I thought we’d reached a point where we could communicate.” He shrugged with muted emotion. “We were friends.” He added with a slight question in his voice. He watched Bucky’s eyes flicker with guilt.
“If you had given me a heads up, maybe. That’s all.” Sam patted his thigh. “I can understand needing space. I understand that even answering texts can be difficult as hell when your mind feels sick. I’ve been there, Buck. Shit’s hard.” He felt a dark twist in his stomach and tried not to dwell in his own memories. “I don’t hold this against you. I know you’re a good guy.” Sam made sure Bucky looked him in the eye for that particular sentiment. “But you should know how I felt about it. Whatever relationship we end up having; Friends, co-workers, partners-” He flicked his fingers. “I’d hope you’d think about how your decisions affect me.” 
They held the next silence for a few minutes, Bucky seemingly taking in what he’d said. “For me, it was like I blinked and you were gone with the wind. I didn’t know how you were doing for months--if you were even okay. But then, out of the blue, you come back and you’re pissed about something that wasn’t about you.” Sam shrugged, feeling a bit lighter for every word he’d been simmering on for weeks. 
Bucky grimaced, looking extremely pained. “I’m really sorry, Sam.” He repeated himself with genuine regret. The light around them bled darker. “I let a lot of my intrusive thoughts control me.” He hissed at his own words but quickly moved on. “Part of me let it happen because I’m not sure I could handle a competent hand on the wheel. I’ve lived as the...Winter Soldier longer than Bucky, you know-? And Holy shit that’s something I try not to perceive.” He turned, hoping he wasn’t over-sharing. “It’s terrifying to think it’s just in my nature...being destructive. I’m always nervous-” He paused again. “Not that I’m going to hurt someone--but the feeling that I need to will bleed back into me…” His voice faded off again as he picked at a loose string on his jeans. 
“This is something you’re talking about in therapy, right?” Sam quirked his brow, needing the answer to be yes but the distant pain in his head reminded him that he dodged plenty of shit from his therapist. 
Bucky nodded and before Sam could speak again, asked the question he’d been aching to for months. “I want to go back to you-”
“Of course you do.” Sam chuckled. 
Bucky rolled his eyes. “How have you been, really?” 
Sam thought for a minute. “Working myself to death, mostly.” He laughed, though it didn’t sound happy at all. “Been seeing Sarah and the boys as much as I can…” 
The sky purpled, darkness bleeding into the orange hues. The stars would soon be visible and Bucky was almost positive Sam would now push the question off, neglecting the details. For as much as he complains that Bucky doesn’t talk about himself enough, Sam often avoids voicing his own feelings. 
“Sarah was swamped and anxious, despite what she says-” 
“And what were you feeling, Samuel?” Bucky playfully tapped his friend’s knee with a smug grin. 
Sam rolled his eyes but grinned slightly at the familiar teasing. He wasn’t sure how to put his thoughts into words so he turned back to the water. “Thought a lot about the soul stone, actually.” The sentence rolled casually off his tongue but did nothing to relieve the stress it’d been causing him. 
Bucky tried to remain stoic but a glint of concern shined over his eyes. The infinity stone felt somehow personal between them. Though nobody had memories of their time dusted, Sam and Bucky came out with a new sense of intimacy for each other. It was as if something happened in those 5 years, which felt like only a brief nap to them and in that blip, they’d connected. Falling together was comfortingly natural after that. 
“My last thought before I...dusted, was ‘Maybe I’ll get to see Riley.’ ” Sam whizzed his palm in the air, voice breaking slightly and definitely against his will. 
Bucky’s heart twitched. They’d gone dancing in the evening after Tony Stark’s funeral. It was the most blissful Bucky’d ever been and he’d spent the night in Sam’s hotel room doing the most talking he’d ever spoken. Nothing physical happened nor did either man think of it, they were too busy soaking up all the information they could get from the other before the night ended. They could truly get to know each other for the first time. 
Bucky went on about his family, as much as he could remember anyway. Sam talked of his parents; Paul and Darlene and eventually trailed his way to Riley. 
Sam halted his next thought for a few minutes because it was damn hard to illustrate. “I know we weren’t actually dead-” He rolled his lips together “Or maybe we were, still not clear on all that.” He sighed into another little laugh. “But I just want a few more minutes with him...you know?” 
Bucky nodded, giving him a ‘go on’ expression. 
“I guess our souls were floating around in the stone but--” He broke off, looking down at the water. “For five years, Both our names were on gravestones and in all that time, I couldn’t just see or feel him one time?” Fists now clenched into tight fists. His body language was horrifyingly angry, contrasting the deep despair that was the expression on his face. He was almost sure that none of his words made sense, they’d been jumbling around in him for months like a virus and to be regurgitated so suddenly felt...messy. 
The radio, which Sam had long forgotten about, continued to roll-out soft volume static above glimpses of songs. “Fuck, Sam--” Bucky squinted towards the sky, taking in the brief glance into Sam’s head. “I know exactly what you mean…” He turned quickly, admiring Sam’s presence as his adoration for the man thumped like the heart-beat in his chest. “I always figured I’d never get that peace with my family...but I always assumed it’d be for some iteration of Hell.” He rubbed his palm against his neck and laughed. 
Sam elbowed him lightly, forcing Bucky to find his words again. 
“Knowing--through you and how I feel about you--” Bucky gestured between them. “That I had a mellow...impermanent afterlife(?) yet still didn’t get to see my family...well it feels like I was cheated.” He shrugged.
“I don’t think your soul’s going anywhere bad, Buck. Don’t know what happens after we’re gone for good but you’re not ditching me again.” He drifted off, feeling a sudden unbearable disappointment. “Nat’ll be there too.” 
Bucky took in a breath, enjoying the tickling static of Sam’s hand. “Riley too, don’t worry about that, ok?” He tapped Sam’s hand. “I think, when we go back into the weeds and the dirt--”
“That’s a tender way of putting it, Bucky.” Sam blinked, trying not to put himself in an internal coffin because he was significantly chilled now. 
Bucky smiled. “I think we get the peace of nothing. Just a return to nature with the souls of those we loved.” He rubbed his finger into the corner of his eye like a grandpa and sighed. “I’ve seen and experienced a lot of the Heaven/Hell folklore in my life and I’m not crazy about it, Sam” He wagged his finger and Sam pushed him slightly with a nice feeling of content. 
“We can only comfort ourselves, nothing greater will do it for us. So we write ourselves a multitude of fiction that may, or may not, ease us into accepting death.” Sam bumped their elbows together and eyed a distant bird as it darted across and just above the water. 
“I’m glad whatever it was that happened between us in that stone, happened.” Bucky added sheepishly. Turning to look at his partner under the increasingly vivid stars, Bucky hiccupped as a huge wave of affection hit him. “Cause I really like you, Sam.” 
"But don't discredit yourself. It wasn't just the stone that magically brought us together--" Bucky lightly pushed Sam's bicep. "I-...I can't begin to explain how much it means to me that you made an effort to be my friend...even during the last few months of me ghosting you and not listening to you about the shield. You didn't have to do that." 
Somewhere supper was threatening to get cold and Sarah was playing their meals with a concerned frown, Sam just knew that sister of his too well. He hoped to scrap together just a bit more time. "What can I say?" He smiled "I like you too. People need people, Buck. I wasn't gonna sit back and let you cut yourself off." 
Bucky laid back on the dock, laying his palm flat to his chest. He repeated the phrase over and over in his head. 'People need people.' "Goes both ways, you know Sam?" He spoke with deep confidence but continued to laze on the dock, trying to find an angle where the sun was blocked and he could stare up at Sam. “Meaning, I hope you’ve been letting Sarah help you out...and seeing your therapist.”  
Sam gently smacked his hand atop Bucky’s like a comforting beat of thunder. “Giving my best effort.” He nodded thoughtfully. 
Bucky fluttered his eyes with the pace of his heart. “This is the first time I’ve seen you so...still, Wilson.” 
Sam tossed his head back and laughed, knowing Bucky had hit the nail on the head with that one. The back of his neck cooled as he watched the slates of wood under them pale. The glimmers of tired orange light died and vapid pastel-white tones took their place, nestled in the cracks. Part of him wanted to disagree though he hadn’t the spirit. “I don’t like relaxing because it gives me too much time inside myself.” 
Bucky nodded, encouraging Sam to go on. Fearing the man would never pick it up again if he suddenly decided to close himself off again. 
“There’s too much to do...I feel like I don’t deserve it.” Sam shrugged, a clear illustration of his frustration. He’d definitely pulled this thread a few million times in his life. 
“Don’t deserve it?” Bucky sat up just a little, resting on his forearms, he slanted his head as if the adoring smile was just too heavy. “C’mon Doll--” He cut himself off a bit too late. 
“Slipping back into old habits, huh?” Sam rolled his eyes but waved a dismissive hand. “You’re cute.” He teased, shoving the guy gently. 
Bucky played along, pretending Sam had used enough of that strength of his to knock him back onto the dock. “I think now is a great time for a few days off Sam.” 
The man hummed, thinking about the public...what they expected of their new ‘Captain America’ and what the flicker of the new spot-light in his favor revealed about those who loved Steve for all the wrong reasons. Knowing, as a black man, he’d have to go above and beyond all those assumptions just to garner the same amount of respect they gave Steve. The anger he felt from that was righteous but god forbid he show any sense of hurt because then he’d just be labeled ‘ungrateful’ and ‘giving people grief’. He rubbed under his eye with a longing sigh. “I can’t really afford that right now, Buck.” 
His body shivered as he tried to push away the intrusive images; Walker slamming into the man over and over without hesitation, thick puddles of blood covering his shield, carrying Karli’s lifeless body over an audience where half of the people celebrated her death...perceiving and exploiting her as another ‘super-villain’. 
“Hey.” Bucky softly sat up and pulled Sam’s elbow until their eyes met. “I’ve been told I’m a great listener.” He didn’t pull away, instead hesitantly he curled his hand around Sam’s arm. His fingers pressed dimples into Sam’s skin. Bucky nestled there and his friend exhaled a little, unclenching his body. 
“It’s daunting.” He nodded to himself before tipping his chin to face Bucky. “A bucket doesn’t hold a tidal wave but that’s all I got.” He shrugged, noticing Bucky’s quirked brow. “Something my dad used to say...meaning there’s too much to say so I gotta give you a shitty summary, you know?” He shook his head. 
“I know I’m one to talk but try using more words...buzz-words if you have to.” Bucky looked momentarily proud of his modern vocabulary and squeezed Sam’s arm tighter. 
Sam chuckled. “Let’s say...nerve-wrecking.” He added, bumping his elbow into Bucky’s side. “With all that’s happened...I’m worried--” He landed on a word he felt comfortable with. “Being Captain America...it’s heavy on my shoulders, man. I know I can do it, I trust myself when it comes down to the wire. I hold myself to my standards.” He trailed off again, listening to distant sounds of kids skipping rocks across the water. “I know where this job’s going to take me and I’m ok with that, glad to do it.” He looked back at Bucky with determined eyes. 
“I’m not concerned with my fate.” Another deep breath racked his body, he wasn’t used to being so utterly serious with his current company. “I think about how it ended for Tony and I worry about the kid--” 
Bucky nodded, He’d only briefly been aware of Stark’s ‘surrogate’ son and spoke a handful of words to him at the funeral, Sam and Wanda at his side. 
Sam rubbed his neck with his free hand, feeling intense pressure all over his body. All his limbs tingled as if they were asleep. He’d not realized the true extent of how much this had been eating away at him. Speaking of eating, dinner was for sure cold by now…“Met his Aunt at the funeral.” She’d been proud of her boy but behind her eyes lived guttural fear, Sam knew that much. “I’m thinking about Rhodey because I sure as hell know the pain of losing your best friend.” 
Bucky tightened his grip on Sam even further. He’d lost Steve so many times but the time had come for the permanent end and by then...well had they even felt like best friends anymore? 
“I can’t even figure out what’s going on with Wanda.” Sam clicked his tongue with a bitter chuckle. “Girl’s doing her best to stay off the grid and I can’t imagine that’s good for her. I know Torres can handle himself but I wonder if I should be helping him more. Not to mention Bruce. What the hell is his mental state right now?” He added with a confused wave of his hand. “I’m even worrying about Scott!” Sam rubbed at his eyebrow and sighed. “This is all beside Sarah and the kids, who I’m constantly thinking about.” He laughed, voice strained and tired. 
Bucky waited a few seconds, just to make sure Sam had finished. In that short moment, his heart swelled for him. “You’re a good person, Sam. But you’re only one man.” He shook him just a little bit. “Truthfully, You’ll always be concerned for them. It’s just in your nature. Don’t fight the intrusive thoughts...accept their presence and remember you’ve got a team.” Bucky trailed off, going over what he’d just said again in his head. 
Sam’s shoulders sank with another deep sigh. “Thanks, Buck.” He swiped his hand down his face and noticed how much lighter he felt. 
Bucky responded physically. He tugged Sam down with him as he laid back on the dock, shoulders bumping together harmoniously which sent chills through Bucky’s entire body. The good kind...maybe the amazing kind. Hell, they tingled under his skin just about every moment he spent with Sam. That deeply buried fear that he might spend the rest of his life making himself excruciatingly uncomfortable in his own body, trapped under his skin which was always crawling,  faded from the realm of possibility each time Sam’s presence flushed Bucky with comfortable jitters. 
“You’re getting good taste, by the way-”
Bucky only squinted at him, still half in deep thought. So Sam started Otis’s whistling again and watched his friend realize what he was talking about. His nose scrunched up while he nodded. 
“How do you decide what to listen to?” Sam turned, they were nearly nose-to-nose. “I mean, how do you narrow it down when you’ve got decades to catch up on?” Sam’s mind flickered through artists like a jukebox--which was 1 thing he’d always wanted to buy, a real old school one. 
Bucky shifted his jaw, making an eerie click, a precursor to his amused grin. “I made a list of artists I remember liking before…” He waved his hand, turning slightly to watch the dewey clouds cover the moon. “And the periods in-and-out of being frozen...I have a list of what I remember by decade-” He chuckled. 
Sam sat up on his forearms. “I’d like to see these lists. The record set-up in Sarah’s living room is not a decoration, you know? It’s almost as great as mine back in D.C.” He grinned, thinking about the days, so far gone now. Mama and Sarah dancing around the kitchen. 
“It really faded off during the 80’s.” Bucky pushed up to level himself next to Sam. “And not that I’ve had much time, mind you--” he laughed. “But from there, I just follow what I’m fond of like family trees and consider the few recommendations I’ve collected.” He trailed off, starting to do the Otis whistle again. 
Sam let him follow through to the end, anticipating the tender connotations of the song to come after this day ended. “Out of all these decades...who are your favorite artists? Just curious.” Sam grinned. The answer to this question spoke loudly about a person, in his opinion. 
Bucky looked thoughtfully content with the question, grin cocking a bit to the right as he held out his fist above him. “I’d have to say...Ella-” He flicked out a thumb, no last name necessary. Sam knew that woman like the back of his hand. 
“Nat King Cole-” Bucky softened his eyes, searching again for that unforgettable memory in Sam, and smiling when the expression was reciprocated in his eyes which shimmered like sunlight through the trees. “Roy Orbison.” Two more metal fingers curled down. “John Denver and Billy Joel.” He let his hand fall back to his chest, satisfied for only a few seconds. “But I really love Judy Garland too.” 
“So you like the mellow ballads--” He hummed. “Slow and kinda sad, huh?” Sam bumped his arm lightly. It made good sense to him. Bucky enjoyed the peace which came effortlessly from lone singer-songwriters. His five--or rather six--showed a natural progression. 
“What about you?” Bucky asked, in a calm tone of voice though his eyes read eager. 
“Marvin Gaye, Sam Cooke, The Drifters…” Sam paused, really thinking over his picks. “Earth Wind and Fire, Linda Ronstadt and since you got a bonus...Billie Holiday.” Sam rested his palm flat on his chest, content to feel the steady beating that let him know he was still alive. A rich sense of comfort rushed over him as if a fresh load of laundry had just been dropped on his still body. There’d been too many days in his life where that buried thumping was only a reminder of non-stop existence, like a neverending rollercoaster. Installing him with dread, guilt and panic. He was glad to find those days fewer and farther between. 
“You make me feel like I’m livin’ in a Drifters song, Doll.” Bucky was only half teasing, for he was speaking a genuine thought but wasn’t sure how welcome it’d be.
“I like that one.” Sam hummed, turning his cheek once more toward the man beside him. “Tell me how you really feel.” He hiked himself up fully to return to his seated position, legs dangling over the side and casting faint shadows of foot-steps on the water. 
Bucky paused with concern, not sure he understood the reply before he processed it fully. He wanted to smirk but the sentiment out-weighed the amusement. He sat up too, pulling one knee up to rest an arm over while the other dangled next to Sam’s. “I got it bad, Sam.” He made their wandering eyes meet. 
“Me too.” Sam nodded with that dazzling grin. “You’re under my skin, what can I say?” He shook his head and tried to let his smile fade, finding he couldn’t. 
“If they weren’t gone...I’d be buggin’ you to meet my family.” Bucky ignored the twist in his gut because Sam’s reactions were his comfort. “Though who’s to say how they’d feel about the….” He trailed off and Sam nodded. “You being a fella part of it--”
“A fella of color, too.” Sam added with a bit of a smirk. 
“Fuck.” Bucky cursed quietly and playfully tugged Sam’s hand. They curled their fingers together in an exquisitely natural way. “They loved me…” His face stilled with longing. “I’d like to think--But maybe it’s best not to go down that road. I don’t believe I turned out how they’d wanted anyway.” He chuckled, pitfully. 
Sam tightened their grip on each other for a minute. “I know what you mean.” He bumped their folded hands onto Bucky’s thigh. “I’m always wondering what my parents would think of all this…” He flicked his free hand. “My career?” He almost wanted to laugh with astonished pride. Never had he expected to grow up to be a superhero. “Riley too.” He felt there was more to say but his mouth fell shut. 
“Just a way to hurt ourselves, I guess.” Bucky shrugged. “And we sure as Hell love to do that.” 
They laughed, sort of sadly. The full night sky enriched them with gentle peace, strengthened by the soft light of the stars. The temperature dropped considerably since Sam had initially come out. But he didn’t mind the nice chill, it braced his skin and left him with tingling goosebumps. It reminded Sam how real the moment actually was. Paying less attention to the hearty sloshes of water, Sam picked up his radio. 
‘Come a little bit closer
Hear what I have to say
Just like children sleepin'
We could dream this night away…’
He might have heard the song before, couldn’t be sure, and if he was alone he might have continued flipping stations just in case an older favorite was slipping through his fingers. But Bucky began to hum with the tune. 
‘But there's a full moon risin'
Let's go dancin' in the light
We know where the music's playin'
Let's go out and feel the night…’
Sam gathered himself up from the creaky dock, stretching his body little by little and watching Bucky’s wandering eyes. He gently held out his hands which was enough of a sign for Bucky to happily grab them and pull himself up. 
Sam shoved the radio in his pocket with a smile and though Bucky was more than just pleased to see him so jovial, he also felt a flicker of nervousness. “Man...for the first time in a while, I feel lucky as Hell.” 
‘Because I'm still in love with you
I want to see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon…’
Sam raised his brow and initiated the first few dance steps with his partner hardly noticing the movement at all. “How’s that?” 
“I’m lucky to be in love with someone I like so much.” Bucky puffed out a relaxed sigh with his words and finally leaned into the dancing with real vigor. “Sam, I’ve never wanted to spend my life with someone as badly as I do with you.” 
Wind whistled past their shoulders but Sam felt perfectly warm. He let Bucky take the lead and allowed himself to be spun. The cool light of the moon acted as a highlighter, beams of translucent white caressed the shape of Sam’s body. Following the curve of his hips and sliding down the length of his legs. “Growing old with you...becoming a cranky old man couple, that sounds like fun.” He spoke as if he hadn’t had true fun in years which was probably true. 
A bush fondly bloomed under Bucky’s skin. Behind his fluttering eyelashes, Bucky indulged for once in his life. To drink in all that was this man in front of him. 
However Sam’s eyes were now focused on a cupped hand, which had somehow slipped from Bucky’s, where a yellow toned light would flicker every few seconds. Whenever the yellow light skimmed his face, he would grin with pure joy. 
“You never caught a firefly before, Sam?” Bucky asked in jest, with a huff of amused laughter. 
Sam gently guided the bug into Bucky’s face.
“Oh, fuck! You asshole” Bucky scrunched up his nose and swatted dramatically at his nose. “I change my mind, cancel my idea. Gonna crawl back into the absolute hole that is my apartment--” He playfully backed away from his friend. 
Before Bucky could slip the last inch of his skin from Sam’s hand, the man used the full strength of his extended arm to fiercely pull him back and into his chest. Like a damn professional dancer. “I’ve been seeing myself from grief’s eyes for too damn long. Think I’m ready to take control of my own life. I want to be with you.” He playfully grinned. “What about you?”
Bucky glowed in Sam’s arms. “For a long time, I lost my sense of self…” He scratched behind his ear. “But never my fuckin’ point of view.” His voice broke just a little. “I had to see and feel every horrendous thing the Winter Soldier did. “I’ll bear the consequences for the rest of my life and I accept that.” He shook his head. “But I’m ready to accept happiness too. I really want to be with you, Sam.” 
Sam nodded, content as he’d ever been. “I think we should get our dinner before Sarah comes to drag us by our ears.”
Bucky pressed a sweet kiss, full of longing and fulfillment. “Yeah, that’s probably for the best.” He laughed, taking Sam’s arm and pulling him down the dock with a spring in both their steps. 
‘But now it's gettin' late
And the moon is climbin' high
I want to celebrate
See it shinin' in your eye’
 ‘Because I'm still in love with you
I want to see you dance again
Because I'm still in love with you
On this harvest moon’
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justasparkwritings · 3 years
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Merry & Bright {23}: I Promise
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Previous: Golden Days 
Pairing: OT7 x Respective Partners
Genre: Fluff with Light Holiday Angst
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Swearing
Word Count: 1.7K
Summary: Days before Christmas, Bangtan find themselves stranded at the airport. 
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           “Are you fucking serious?” Namjoon’s voice is low, hushed in the slightly crowded airport lounge.
           “When is the next flight?” Yoongi asks, glare staring at the airport attendant in front of him. Taehyung stands next to him, bag resting gently on the floor, cellphone in hand.
           In seats across the way, Jimin and Hoseok sit, thumbs moving hastily as they text. Seokjin, sits with their managers, discussing solutions, and Jungkook is by the window, phone to his ear, disappointment in his posture.
           “I know, I know,” Jungkook says, voice weary. “I’m trying jagi, I am.”
           It’s the sound of Namjoon’s hand slamming against the wall that brings them all together, moving into a private room in the lounge, seated staring at one another.
           “We were supposed to be home by now,” Hoseok says, frustration deep in the stoop of his eyebrows.
           “I know,” Namjoon answers.
           “It’s our first married Christmas,” Jungkook adds, stuffing his tattooed covered hands in the pocket of his sweats.
           “It’s my child’s first Christmas!” Taehyung declares, aghast that anyone was missing anything nearly as important as him.
           “I was supposed to take the kids for Christmas photos,” Namjoon says.
           Yoongi’s voice is low, a  prayer no one will hear, but a hope they will. “I was going to propose.” 
           “What?” Hoseok yells, nearly knocking Jimin off his perch.
            Taehyung turns to his Hyung. “Why are we just hearing about this?” 
           “Do you have a ring?” Namjoon wonders.
           “You’re involved with someone?” Jimin pokes. Yoongi glares at him, knowing full well Jimin knows the answer.
           “On Christmas Eve, while we opened presents. Had it all planned for months, the ring is wrapped, it’s sitting under the fucking tree,” Yoongi explains.
           “Won’t she notice a ring box?” Jimin asks.
           “No, I put it in a larger box,” Yoongi’s humoring him, and Jimin knows.
           “A box inside a box?” Jungkook laughs.
           “Sort of,” Yoongi shrugs.
           “Damn, how many years has it been?” Seokjin asks.
           “Five,” Yoongi recounts each anniversary in his mind. The first one, spent on different continents during tour, the second, when they’d flown to New York for press, the third, when you’d gone to Paris, the fourth, when he’d finally convinced you to move to Korea half time, and the fifth, when you’d discussed marriage.
           “Service time counts,” Hoseok adds.
           “Fine, seven,” Yoongi tells them. Technically, years four and five were shared in your hearts only, Yoongi being a desk jockey in the military, but you counted them, nonetheless.
          Jimin cackles  “Wow, never imagined Yoongi-ah would settle down,” 
           “Who would’ve thought?” Namjoon chuckles, staring at his elder.
           “You all are trash,” Yoongi says. “None of you are invited to the wedding.”
           “How do you know she’ll say yes?” Taehyung asks, eyes wandering around the sterile lounge. It’s all marble and metal, cold and contemporary, Christmas wreaths hung periodically and poinsettias on all the tables. The only warmth coming from the men, all ganging up on their favorite member. 
           “I know,” Yoongi confirms.
           “But how, are you psychic?” Seokjin wonders.
           “No, she told me,” Yoongi tells him.
           “She told you?” Seokjin asks, eyes wide.
           “This isn’t any of your business,” Yoongi scolds, cheeks puffed as he smiles.
           “Alright, alright,” Jin resides.
           “Tae, what are you plans for baby’s first Christmas?” Yoongi asks, deflecting.
           “And baby’s first birthday,” Namjoon adds.
           “He’s so cute, oh my gosh, he just teeters on his little feet, trying to walk. He’s taken a few steps, but he only likes walking if you hold his tiny little hands,” Taehyung gushes, opening the photos on his phone to show them.
           “We’ve seen the videos,” Namjoon laughs, looking again at the numerous photos Taehyung has of his son, not mentioning that he’s seen them all, in an email, that Taehyung sent one day during nap time.
           “Don’t act like we haven’t seen a million from you,” Jimin says elbowing Namjoon. “You’re just as shameless.”
           “You just have more kids, so it seems less obnoxious,” Yoongi says.
           “Two for the price of one!” Seokjin laughs.
           “Don’t think we don’t have the same reaction to yours,” Hoseok laughs at Jin. “You might be the worst out of you three.”
           Pointing at him, finger dagger like, Namjoon warns, “Oh, just you wait, Hope, it’s coming for you too.”
            Taehyung looks from member to member, wondering aloud, “Who will have kids next?” 
           “Jungkook,” Jimin blurts. His eyes go wide, and he turns to the maknae.
           “Or J Hope,” Jungkook says, his deflection evident in the blush on his cheeks.
           “No, no, Jungkook, why are you blushing?” Namjoon asks.
           “No reason just wasn’t paying attention,” Jungkook tries to brush it off, but Namjoon’s got him.
           “Is she pregnant?” Hoseok asks, eyes wide.
           “I, maybe, I don’t know,” Jungkook tries to burrow himself into his sweatsuit, beanie pulled lower and lower over his face.
           “Holy shit!” Yoongi exclaims, glancing to make sure no one else has heard his expletive.
           “Are you surprised the golden maknae is procreating before you?” Seokjin asks glancing at Yoongi.        
           “No, I’m not surprised at all, my money was on Jungkook,” Yoongi says still smiling.
           “It’s, it’s too soon to tell anyone, we’ve only told our parents,” Jungkook’s cheeks continue to cherry, blossoming across his cheekbones, knowing full well he’s going to be in trouble when his wife finds out he squealed.
           “Ah, discretion,” Seokjin nods. “We’ll pretend we’re not excited for you.”
           “Hobi, what about you?” Jimin turns the attention to someone else, feeling guilty about spoiling Jungkook’s news.
           “Ah, kids are a few years off for us,” Ho-Seok nods, twirling the wedding band on his finger. “Jiminie, what about you?”
           “Me?” Jimin asks pointing to himself.
           “You started this nonsense,” Namjoon reminds him.
           “I, no, no babies, no engagement,” Jimin shakes his head.
           “Why not?” Taehyung asks. “You’ve been talking about it for a while.”
           “Yeah, but talking and following through are two different things,” Jimin says. They all nod, knowing Jimin was going to get engaged shortly after Yoongi. Taehyung found it surprising, but not wholly out of character for  Jimin  to wait for his Hyung to propose first. It was odd, though, everyone had always bet Jimin would get married shortly after Jungkook, while Yoongi  would remain the last man standing. 
           “I can’t believe we’re stuck here,” Jungkook says again, glancing at the window. “Isn’t this why we stopped traveling before Christmas?”
           Six years ago, when Namjoon had welcomed his first child, the band decided they would never travel over Christmas again, refusing to part from their growing families. They turned down any work outside the city, including New Years. If some program wanted them, they either wanted their entire blossoming families or they wouldn’t have BTS at all. It was a hard and fast rule, which in the six years since Namjoon became a father, they hadn’t broken.
           Tonight, stranded in an airport in a place none of them could recognize, at least 1000 miles away, they were regretting agreeing to perform for the KBS special anywhere other than Seoul, or within two hours drive from their homes.         
          So, they sit, December 23rd, unconvinced they were going to be home by Christmas Eve, unsure if they were going to be home by Christmas.
           “I would walk home,” Hoseok says, sinking in his chair.
           “I would run,” Jimin counters.
           “I’d cross the deserts,” Jungkook says.
           “And the oceans,” Taehyung adds.
           “A fucking frozen tundra,” Yoongi states.
           “If only there was a guiding light, a star, leading us home,” Namjoon says.
            Seokjin sighs, frustration and thoughtfulness in one breath. “She does so much for us, for our family, and here I am, sitting in a luxurious airport, while she’s home with the kids.”
           “She hasn’t even hung the Christmas lights, we were going to decorate the tree together,” Yoongi says. “You know how much she loves Christmas.”
           “I feel like we should go into the gift shops and buy something,” Hoseok suggests.
           “What are we going to find?” Jungkook wonders.
           “Wine,” Namjoon says.  
           “Candy,” Jungkook suggests.
           “Oo, candy,” Hoseok laughs, his first laugh in the last few hours.
            Namjoon, still lamenting, “She does everything, she’s the glue of our whole family.”
           “Maybe we’ll go on vacation, somewhere warm,” Seokjin ponders.
           “We should take a big family vacation!” Taehyung suggests.
           “No,” Yoongi shuts it down.
           Hoseok stares at Yoongi, reading the anxiety in his eyes over the suggestion. “It could be fun!” 
           Yoongi  stares him down, countering his offer. “How about those who have kids go on one vacation, and those without go on their own,” 
           “Why are you being so difficult?” Seokjin asks.
           “I’m tired, my proposal is going to shit, and I’m missing decorating my home with my future wife,” Yoongi lists.
           “I can’t believe they have no hotel rooms anywhere near by,” Hoseok wonders.
           “Maybe if we wish upon a star we’ll make it home by tomorrow,” Jungkook suggests.
           “This is the first Christmas we’ve spent just us, just us seven, in what, a decade?” Taehyung inquires, looking at each of his brothers.
           “Since we all came back from service,” Namjoon answers.
          Agreeing, Hoseok speaks.  “We should honor that,” 
           “We’ll be with our families as soon as we can,” Jimin concedes. 
          “Life goes on,” Jungkook sings softly.
          “We’ll be home by Christmas Eve, swear it,” Taehyung’s attempt at inspiring them is what they need.
           “Should we go find food and treats?” Jungkook suggests.
           “Absolutely,” Namjoon says.
           “And any souvenirs we can find from this place,” Hoseok reminds them.
           In a small gift shop, Yoongi and Jimin stare at the chip selection.
           “You should propose whenever you want,” Yoongi says to Jimin.
           “Thank you hyung,” Jimin wants to hug  him, but  refrains. 
           “I don’t want to steal your thunder, you’ve been planning longer than me, do it when it feels right,” Yoongi glances at Jimin, slightly taller than him, and smiles.
           “Thank you,” Jimin smiles, grateful for the unnecessary permission.
           As they gather back in the lounge, snacks and gummy worms plentiful on the newly cleaned airport table, the seven of them share laughs over silly things their kids have said and reminisce on the years they’ve spent together. Through it all, with the weight of uncertainty waning, they had a glimmer of hope, a little belief, that they’ll be home by Christmas Eve.
Next: Happy Anniversary 
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sorcererinthestars · 3 years
Text
The Wolf Inside
In the hellstorm we are currently living, the RT Writers Discord called off their Secret Skeleton event. However, I was almost done with my piece and I thought, since it has nothing to do with The Offender, I would still share it. Maybe we need to be revitalized in our work, in our love of those who we still have.  Trigger Warning: Suicide Mention. This is sort of dark/angsty, but no major character death. It’s for spooky season, after all!
AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26994361
Michael is a werewolf. Gavin begs to see that part of his life, and nearly pays the ultimate price. (Ragehappy/Mavin.)
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As he presses himself farther into his closet and shoves his fist in his mouth to stop the gasping whimpers that are ripping themselves out of his chest, he knows this is the end. It’s curious, knowing when you were going to meet your death. He had hoped he would go out in bed, surrounded by family, but no.
He was going to meet his death hidden in a closet behind a load of clothes, a balled fist in his mouth to stifle the sobs and a bent metal coat hanger in his hand to use as a weapon.
The noises outside were muffled, but easily heard when he was straining to locate them. A scuffle, the sound of a chair moving and hot, labored breathing. A small whine and then — crash! — the sound of something glass shattering.
It was Gavin’s idea. He had pressed for this, he had said it was okay. He had honestly begged, wanting to know what happened when the transformation came. It was always a secret between them, a gap. It was something Michael never wanted to talk about, always kept hidden. Once a month, he would leave their home, disappear somewhere for a few days.
Gavin never knew if the other was safe. He could never know for certain if this would be the time that Michael would never return to him, would be gone forever and he would be left waiting alone at home, checking his phone for a call that would never come.
So he had begged. Take me with you, he pleaded. We can rent a cabin. I can stay inside, safe. You go do what you need to do, but at least I’ll be near if you need me.
Michael had protested and as Gavin shrinks farther back against the wood of the closet, trying to hide himself and his scent under moldering blankets, he finally fucking understands the reason for that protest. Michael was dangerous. He guesses he must have not fully comprehended that, not really. Yes, Michael was a dangerous creature who transformed once a month, but he was also his fiancé. Almost his goddamn husband. And the fact that Michael tried to keep a part of himself so integral to his being away from him made Gavin upset.
As the sounds came up the stairs and the snuffling grew louder, along with the panting and the growls and sound of sharp claws ripping its way through the wood, Gavin knew he should learn to leave some things the fuck alone. If he had time after tonight to worry about anything.
Michael had got bit as a child, he had admitted to Gavin over a year into dating. He had been playing in the woods under the light of the full moon and he had gone to the wrong place at the wrong time. Thankfully, he had managed to get away. Most people who got bit didn’t have to worry about the transformation. They were eaten first.
Gavin couldn’t help but think of the scenes Michael had described to him. Of bodies ripped to shreds, of nothing left of people but pieces of their clothes. The thing that Michael became was not him. He had pleaded with Gavin to understand that. He had little to no control over the beast. It overwhelmed him, terrorized him, and when he came back, he had a full belly, a raging headache, and only sensations and fear where there should be memories.
But Gavin had insisted he wanted to be with Michael during this months’ transformation. He had done the stupid puppy dog eyes that Michael pretends to hate, pouting lower lip and all, and had threatened to follow him if he went alone. So Michael had taken him. They’d rented a cabin deep out in the woods, far away from any civilization. It had been almost an hour drive on empty dirt roads to get out here to this hunters’ cabin.
The man who had rented it to them had scoffed. Warned them of what lurked out there this time of the month. A creature, he had said. Something bigger than anything ought to be. Something that disappeared, something they couldn’t catch.
Michael had just shifted awkwardly. As they sat side by side in their Jeep, he had turned to Gavin and turned a bit red, as if he was trying to fight back his anger. Again, he had tried to get Gavin to go. He had pressed his credit card into Gavin’s hand, asked him to get a hotel room back in the city. He would pay and he would join Gavin there as soon as he could. It was dangerous, he had insisted, among other choice words.
Gavin always knew his stubbornness and blind loyalty was likely going to get him hurt or killed, but didn’t realize how literal that was going to be. Now, as he stared at the ceiling of the closet in order to try not to cry, he kind of wanted to throw himself off the roof to stop the guilt. If something did happen and Michael came back and realized…
It was funny, how the mind fixated on the lesser of two problems in a bad situation. Here he was, about to die at the hands of a creature from a fucking fairy tale or a bad dream, and he was worried about how Michael was going to take it.
The first night at the cabin had been fine. Michael seemed tense, but they had set up safeguards around the front and back of the home. They made dinner, just pasta over a hot plate, and watched the stars. The moon was almost but not completely full. Gavin had learned that Michael knew a great deal about the night sky. Maybe he even fell a bit more in love. There wasn’t any electricity for video games. Turned out they didn’t need any.
There were times when they were sitting and chatting that Michael would go quiet and stiff. A breeze would come by and distract him, or he would shift and grunt like he was uncomfortable. It was the beginning of the shift, Gavin theorized, but Michael wouldn’t talk about it and Gavin knew better than to press him. He was lucky to even be allowed to be here, to share this with him. He wouldn’t ruin it by getting in the way.
He would share more than the experience with Michael now. The creature — the thing — was nearing the second floor now. The bedroom wasn’t even a bedroom, really. More like a walled-off loft. And he was sitting in the back, trapped. Like a rat in a cage. Ready for the cat.
When the howl came, Gavin almost wets himself, cowering even farther back. It sounded close, but it also sounded anguished. Like he could hear the pain of the creature, the rage and frustration by being able to smell its prey, but not chase it.
Michael had been nearly certain that when transformed, he would leave the cabin and get distracted by deer and bear and whatever the hell else was out here at night. But he couldn’t be certain, so as the day started turning dusky, he had taken the truck out into the woods. No argument could be made here. Michael was adamant that this was as far as Gavin would go. And as much as Gavin wanted to see the beast with his own two eyes, he had agreed to keep the peace.
They hadn’t counted on the senses of the Creature to be able to smell Gavin’s scent from miles away. Michael had only been gone a couple hours before Gavin started hearing the sounds of something heavy in the woods. The moonlight was like liquid silver as it washed across the clearing. Something was out there.
Gavin had at first wanted to see it. Maybe Michael had changed his mind, maybe he had come back to share this part of himself entirely with Gavin. But as the Wolf, in all its glory, smashed out of the clearing, Gavin’s bowels nearly failed as he stared down at the animal.
Michael’s werewolf form was eight feet long and at least five feet tall. It was thick and furry, with sharp teeth and yellow eyes. When it snarled, all razor rows of teeth were shown. This thing was a predator, plain and simple. There was nothing of Michael left.
Now, sitting in the closet and waiting to be torn to shreds by the man he loved, Gavin considers his options. They were slim to none. He could try to stab the eye of the beast when it broke in, but that would potentially hurt Michael as well. Maybe even blind him. Could he live with that? It would certainly be better than the alternative — death — but what if it didn’t even stop the Wolf?
He could try to run, but the idea of that thing chasing him when it was faster, could see better, and was stronger than him was less than appealing. He shivers from fear and shrinks down even deeper into a ball.
Why the fuck had he decided to go? Why had Michael let him?
Because, a stupid voice in his head had whispered, becuase he wanted to be loved and accepted for all of him as much as you wanted to know all of him. You’re both idiots.
Love made you do stupid things, but this had to be among the stupidest.
But he didn’t have time to think anymore as the door to the room was shoved inwards with a harsh slam that shook the house. The Wolf roars and Gavin bites through the skin of his finger to keep himself from crying out, blood hot and iron and red against his lips.
That was his last mistake. Like an arrow loosed from the bow, the Wolf whips around and hyperfocuses on the hot scent of fresh blood in the closet. And without another moment of hesitation, the door rips open and there the Wolf is.
Gavin forgets to breathe. For a moment they sit there, staring, the giant Wolf’s breast heaving with every garbled breath, saliva dripping out of his mouth. And Gavin, small, human, and breakable, staring back with wide eyes.
Then Michael roars, a loud agonizing sound that reveals rows and rows of sharp teeth, and Gavin knows this was where he dies.
A paw whips out faster than can be seen and clobbers Gavin in the shoulder. His arm supernovas into pain before immediately going numb, causing him to shriek and fly forward into the room and out of his shelter. Claws rake across the skin of his back in the process, blood immediately wetting his t-shirt. If anything, it was like a shark, enraging the beast further, who snarls and paces as it surrounds him.
Panic driving him to lengths he never would have considered, Gavin tries to stab with the coat hanger and all he manages to do is glance the flimsy piece of metal off of Michael’s iron hide. This refocuses the beast, which Gavin notices seems to be… pacing?
It stalks around him, snarling and spitting, but … not attacking. Like some invisible forcefield was keeping the beast away. Gavin risks trying to move.
Bad idea. The Wolf lunges, capturing Gavin’s ankle in his jaws. He yanks and Gavin slams unceremoniously down on the ground, dragged a few feet away from the closet until he’s exposed in the middle of the room. Blood drips from the teeth marks in his legs, but Gavin almost doesn’t notice as the Wolf hovers over him and teeth, saliva, and bright yellow eyes become all he can see.
His breath is ragged. What do you do when you see your death? Gavin’s lower lip starts quivering and he tries to bite it as tears well in his eyes. “M-Michael,” he gasps. “P-please don’t.”
And the Wolf… doesn’t.
A beat of silence between them, the heaving hulking form pinning Gavin to the ground, blood pooling under the man from the cuts and scratches along his back, one arm limp and obviously dislocated. He could rip his throat out, but he… doesn’t.
Michael.
Michael is inside the Wolf. With a gasp, Gavin realizes. Somewhere inside this beast is his boyfriend, his fiancé, and despite claiming he had no control, something is stopping the beast from killing him. Gavin can almost laugh with relief, but — the Wolf isn’t moving. And sooner or later, Michael is going to lose to the Will of the Beast.
“Michael,” Gavin whispers. “Michael, if you’re in there, please. It’s me. It’s Gavin, your boyfriend. I love you, please….”
The Wolf actually whines. It’s a terrifying sound, but its the sound of confusion and not rage. Progress. He just needed to keep talking. “Michael, baby, please. You’re in control. Just… get it to go. Turn around and go catch deer. P-please, god, no…” The Wolf lowers his head and takes a big sniff of Gavin’s face, the teeth agonizingly close, the saliva smearing across his cheek. Gavin doesn’t dare to move, as if the slightest extra sound or movement would break this spell that they are weaving together over this rabid animal.
Then, every millisecond drawn out to the longest amount of time possible, the Wolf rears back and steps off of Gavin. It looks at him and roars again furiously, shaking the house, and Gavin screws his eyes shut. He fucked up, this is it…
But then he hears the sound of claws on wood and the large form of a Wolf shoving its way through the cabin and then blissful, complete silence.
Laying on the floor, bleeding and in pain, Gavin finally allows himself to weep. Not in fear, but in relief. In love — Michael knew him. Michael wouldn’t allow that demon to kill him, no matter how little control he claimed to have. Tomorrow they would talk, tomorrow they would atone for their many many sins that came about that night, but tonight…
Tonight he would lay here and cry until the sun warms the trees and his fiancé comes back to him.
Some things are better left a mystery, after all.
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crmsfanfiction · 3 years
Text
Second Chances: Chapter 1
Author’s note: Hello everyone. Just a quick note of the timeline of this story. It starts in 2015. I own nothing, but plot (loosely as I am sure it has been done before) and my OCs. Everyone else is owned by themselves and Marvel at this point. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
This is unbeta’d and all mistakes are mine and mine alone. Constructive criticism is welcome.   This will be a Sebastian Stan/OC story.
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Chapter 1: Broken Dream, Broken Heart
Willa stood still as she took in the scene before her. She couldn’t believe her eyes. It wasn’t possible for this to be happening. Her brain couldn’t compute the scene in front of her. This had to be a dream. The moans coming from the bed in front of her are what finally snapped her out of her disbelief. She turned and walked out of the bedroom, the occupants never even knowing she was there. She grabbed her purse and left the home she had built for the past 3 years with the man she was supposed to marry in two months time.
She felt numb. She drove to the airport and paid for long term parking. Not even caring about the cost. She got a one way ticket to Georgia and headed for the departures lounge. Her flight wasn’t leaving for a few hours, but she didn’t have the energy to try and come back. Pulling her phone out Willa scrolled through her social media accounts while continuing to replay the scene from her bedroom through her head. She didn’t cry. It still didn’t feel real. She knew once she saw her uncle it would hit her, but until then she wouldn’t allow herself to break down. Her mama raised her to be stronger than that. Never allow them to see you cry. Don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing you broken. Break down the private, when no one can see you. Where no one will judge you.
Several hours later Willa landed in Georgia and hailed a cab out of the airport. Giving the address to the cabbie, Willa finally sent a quick texted and arranged for a pass for her. It was a twenty minute ride to the studio lot and she knew once she got there it was going to be bad, but she would make it. Tears started to prick at her eyelids, but she held them back. Not wanting to break down in the back of a cab. Willa closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She was going to make sure she wasn’t a mess when she got to the studio lot. Taking another breath and blowing it out slowly, helped steady her nerves and her emotions.
“Thank you.” Willa said twenty minutes later as she pulled out enough cash to cover her cab fare and a tip. She opened the cab door and stepped out into the sweltering heat of a Georgia summer. Closing the door she headed for the guard shack next to a gate. Smiling at the older guard in the shack Willa pulled out her id and showed it to him. “Willa Anderson. I should have a pass waiting for me from Mr. Downey Jr.”
“Miss Anderson?” a soft voice said from the other side of the gate. Willa turned to see a tall blonde holding out a lanyard with a visitors pass attached. “Sorry Ernie. I didn’t have a chance to get this up here before now.” the blonde said as Ernie grinned and opened the gate letting Willa walk through.
“Not a problem Miss Jade.” Jade smiled as she handed Willa the pass and turned to head deeper onto the lot. “If you’ll follow me Miss Anderson. I will take you to RDJ’s camp. The pass you have is a temporary pass, and we should have a permanent pass for you by the end of the day.” Jade chattered as she looked over at Willa. Willa smiled and slipped the pass over her head and settled it around her neck.
“It’s Willa. Miss Anderson is way to formal.” Willa said as she took in her surroundings. Jade smiled and nodded. Willa thought she might like this soft spoken blonde. She reminded her of someone she knew years ago.
“How do you know Mr. Downey Jr?” Jade asked as they walked.
“He is an old family friend, but I have always considered him an uncle. Sometimes even a father figure.” Willa said as her voice took on a wistful tone. “What do you do? Are you his new assistant?” Willa asked Jade. She shook her head no. “I am just a gopher. I get the coffee and stuff like that usually.”
“Ah. I did that for a movie once. It was an eye opening experience. I enjoyed it though.”
“Yeah I am enjoying it. Well here we are. They should be done shooting soon and breaking for lunch. Have a good day.” Jade said as they walked into Downey’s camp. Willa laughed as she saw the five trailers in a circle. He hadn’t changed a bit. Still as extra as they come. Willa hopped up onto a table and pulled her phone out. She sent her best friend a text letting her know where she was. She would call her later to talk and cry, but right now she needed to be clear minded. While she was waiting she pulled up her bank app and transferred about ¾ths of the money from their joint account into her separate private account. She made more money as a nurse and had put more into the account than he did as a waiter. She had left enough in the account to tide him over for a couple months. She would be putting their home up for sale as soon as she could. He can’t afford to pay the mortgage and she didn’t want to live there anymore. Too many memories.
Thirty minutes later found Willa stretched out on the table with her eyes closed and her arm over her face. This is the position Robert found her in when he walked back into his camp. He had a few of his co-stars coming for lunch but he wanted a few minutes alone with Willa first. Her coming to see him was a complete surprise and he wanted to know what was wrong.
“Willa Annabelle Anderson! What are you doing laying on the table?” Robert said as he walked over to her. Willa opened her eyes and attempted a bright smile, but failed as she locked eyes with her Uncle. “Hi Uncle Bob.” Willa said her voice cracking on his name. He swept her up into a hug as she finally broke down into a huge racking sobs.
Robert picked her up like she weighted nothing and took her into his main trailer. She clung to him like her life depended on it and in a way to her it did. She felt like she was drowning in a sea of memories, heartbreak and pain. Holding onto him was like clinging to a lifeline that would help guide her back to shore and firm footing once again. Robert just murmured soothing sounds and rocked her gently. He pulled his phone out and sent a quick text to Susan to come to set and pick up Willa. She wasn’t staying in a hotel and from the looks of it she didn’t even bring a suitcase.
“Willa? What’s wrong sweetie?” Robert asked once he noticed her sobs quietening down and she was just sniffling. Pulling away from her slightly he tipped her head up so she could look him in the eye.
“I found him in bed with someone else.” she said quietly as fresh tears started to slide down her face. “I walked in on him in our bed with another woman.”
Robert’s face dropped when she told him that. It was worse than he had thought. He figured a fight or even maybe a lost job, but never did he think that she would be here because her fiance had cheated on her and she caught him. It boggled the mind. They were perfect for each other. Both had faults and flaws, but they had always brought out the best in each other. He always assumed they would go the distance.
“Oh Willabee. What can I do? Need me to threaten him? Call a hit man? Pig farmer? I know some people. Want to call Keanu to go John Wick on his ass.”
Willa laughed at that last one and shook her head. “Nah. He isn’t worth the price of a hit man. Though the thought of Keanu is a nice one. Thanks Uncle Bob.” She fully pulled away from RDJ and headed for the small bathroom. “Going to wash my face real quick. How long til Aunt Susan get here?”
“She should be here in a few minutes. I have some co-stars coming to eat lunch here. Do you want to stay and eat or just head out with Susan?”
“Oh. I think I will just head out with Aunt Susan. I need to do some shopping and I am not in the best head space to meet people.” Willa said as she emerged from the bathroom. Her face was still a little red and blotchy from crying and her eyes were still puffy, but clear. Willa hugged Robert again as she left his trailer and headed back towards the main gate to intercept Susan before she made it onto the lot.
Willa smiled as she spotted her Aunt and jogged over to the car. “Hello Aunt Susan” she said as she slid into the passenger seat. “Willabee. What’s going on sweetie? Robert texted me saying you were in town and having a tough time.” Susan Downey asked as she pulled out of the lot and headed for the mall.
“He cheated. I caught him.” Susan’s heart went out to her as her heart broke for the younger woman.
“Well we are on the way to the mall. Some retail therapy will do you some good.” Susan said as she pulled into a parking spot at the mall. Willa shrugged in response. She didn’t have the energy to think about it now. The pain was still to close to the surface, but the breakdown in Robert’s arms helped her feel less numb and more in control of her emotions.
They both got out and headed inside. Several hours later, they left with many bags of clothes, make-up, shoes, and accessories. “Thank god we are done. I wanna go to the house and crash. Thank you for paying for all of this. I will pay you back as soon as I can.” Willa said as they loaded all the bags into the car and headed out of the parking lot and to the house Robert was renting while filming.
“No need to pay us back. I was happy to do it. You needed this. Come on the kids are probably driving the babysitter nuts.” Susan said as they made it to the house and grabbed the bags from the backseat. Walking into the house Willa was attacked by a tiny terror holding a plush dinosaur.
“Hey buddy. You’re getting so big now.” she said as she picked little man up and headed further into the house looking for his baby sister. “Where is Princess?” Little man just pointed towards a door and smiled. He was still a little shy around her. He hadn’t seen her in about 6 months. Tickling his belly Willa set him down as she walked into the bedroom and grinned at the sleepy little girl sitting in her crib.
She was just finishing up a diaper change when Robert walked in looking for them both. He stopped short as he took in Willa holding his daughter and cuddling her close. She turned and smiled at him. “Dinner ready?”
“Yup Willabee. How’s princess doing?” He asked as he took the little girl from Willa and headed back down the hallway to the kitchen. It was a simple dinner of pizza and wine for the adults and water and pizza for the kids.
Willa cleaned up the kitchen and put the left over pizza away in the fridge while Susan and Robert bathed the kids and settled them into bed for the night. Heading into the living room sipping another glass of wine, Willa sat down and let her mind wonder back over the past few weeks and months to see if there was anything she could pinpoint as to why he would do what he did. Nothing came to mind. She just couldn’t see anything that would have caused all of this.
Finishing her glass of wine as Robert and Susan walked into the living room, Willa stood up and hugged both of them. “Thanks for letting me stay here. I am heading to bed. I am exhausted.”
“Of course Willabee. You are always welcome in our house. No matter where we are. Get some sleep. Tomorrow, we can talk about what you are going to do about everything.” Robert said as he hugged her tightly before letting Susan wrap her arms around her just as tightly before letting her walk away and up the stairs to her room.
They looked at each other knowing she wasn’t okay. No matter how well she was acting like it right now. Robert knew her break down that afternoon was just the tip of the iceberg of heartache and pain she was bottling up and ignoring. He just wondered when the dam would finally burst and how she would handle it once it did. She never did do well with letting people in. Would she let them help or would she push everyone away and pretend she was fine?
So many questions. So many ways this could go. Could she heal from a broken dream and a broken heart?
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