#i would quite literally. risk it all for him idc | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inactive-hcs · 2 years

Note

Ok. OK. I read your story of Gen talking to his S/O while having a nightmare and the way you write? GLORIOUS,STUNNING, A CHEFF KISS!! (≧▽≦ﾉﾉﾞ☆ Can't believe you don't have more support!! You deserve everything, bravo! Also, if your request still open, i would love to see Genos or Sai (or both even) having a best friend (or meeting them) and just doing silly/funny stuff, like going out, just chilling at home (like slice of life). Up to you if it would be hc or tiny story (do it if u wanna ofc!)

Ahhh Thank you Thank you (〃ω〃) I‘m glad you liked it so much! I‘ll write you some Headcanons since I‘m too much of a dummy to think of a Plot That works well, but I hope you still enjoy it!

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Potential TW: None

Genos x Reader (platonic)

Kusuo x Reader (platonic)

Fluff/Fun/Sfw

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Genos best friend Headcanons

If you manage to make this man your friend you‘re literally my hero

He‘s actually a pretty good friend, but sometimes he ditches you for Saitama. It’s not always tho, he‘s a man that keeps his promises

He prefers to have casual hang outs, maybe visit a Café together or just chilling on a bench

It actually happens quite often that he forces you to go grocery shopping with him. It’s sales day and he needs to make sure to get everything for his beloved Sensei

Please never take him shopping he hates it

If you do he‘ll either carry your bags or refuses to do it with all of his robotic heart

He isn’t a very goofy person, he’s more on the honest side, so don’t expect any jokes or laughs from him

Since he likes writing and reading hanging out with him would probably result in doing that. He gives you book recommendations and vice versa

When he has to clean his body you take him to a car wash. He needs a high pressure shower after all, and believe me, that will be the funniest thing that you will ever see him do ever.

You convinced him to try drawing with you but… his skills are… so bad.

Like what is that even

If you’re someone who‘s fascinated by his technological body he wouldn’t mind showing you how everything works. He takes you to Dr Kuseno who explains in detail how Genos was build and what materials he used

It’s actually really complex and interesting

Genos can canonically eat and drink, maybe she enjoys snacks too?

This might be a little ooc but imagine having a movie night with him while eating snacks and drinking soda and all that stuff 😭 I love movie nights 💔

I like to imagine when you first met he thought you were weird and annoying but then warmed up to you like he does to anyone else

You’re the only one allowed to read his diary

The only one

If you‘d ever tell Someone a thing about what he wrote you would never regain his trust

He‘s a great cook as well, so just imagine hanging out and simply making a few dishes together and then enjoying them after. Such a sweet thought

He doesn’t like involving you in any hero missions since he doesn’t want to risk you getting hurt. He also worries you might get scared of him if you see him fight

His name is demon cyborg for a reason after all

I could imagine you joking about his Hero name and he’s just like "yeah whatever, if you saw you would know."

Kusuo best friend Headcanons

Having Kusuo as a friend can be challenging for both sides

I mean he isn’t very social in the first place, so if you’re a very extroverted person I‘m sorry, but there won’t be much going on

I think depending on how well he tolerates you there could be some activities I can see happening

Idc if it’s ooc but having a picnic with Kusuo sounds so nice 😭

Like just imagine bringing some snacks and then just sitting on the grass at some lake while ya‘ll simply eat your cakes and stuff like that

I feel like he wouldn’t let you come over because he thinks his parents can be a little pushy and he doesn’t want to make your friendship weird or anything

He doesn’t like it when you make fun of his appearance, even as a joke, just stop

If you would be on a really close best friend level I think he would also open up about his powers to you

He appreciates it a LOT when you tell him that it’s fine and he can simply tell you when he doesn’t want to hang out/hear your thoughts

Makes it a lot easier

Hanging out would probably just result in either reading or playing video games together

On rare occasions you watch movies, but you definitely have to agree to watch one you haven’t seen before

He doesn’t want to hear spoilers from your thoughts

Buy him coffee jelly and he‘ll appreciate you a bit more

Maybe even a lot, who knows

If you ever manage to make Saiki laugh you’re a real one, he will keep you forever

He doesn’t know how to react to compliments that well, but if they’re genuine he would give you a nod or a thumbs up to acknowledge what you said

He also sometimes just gives you a thumbs up to signal that it’s nice seeing you, or that he likes the way your internal organs look today 💀

(Honestly writing about him makes me feel bad, I wish he could have a normal life :( )

Judges you secretly for some of your thoughts but never tells you so you’re not uncomfy

Don’t test him he doesn’t care

Overall a pretty chill friend

Also sticks up to you secretly

If someone makes fun of you or is just generally mean to you he’s going to cause misfortune to then on purpose

"Whoops I didn’t even notice there was a lantern. What a shame it would be if I made you walk right into it."

Never admits that he likes or cares about you, but if he did you‘d know

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There you go :3 I hope you liked reading it! It was actually pretty fun :D

#one punch man x reader #genos #genos Opm #genos x reader #Saiki k #saiki k x reader #kusuo saiki #kusuo x reader #saiki x reader #platonic #fluff

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nancydfan · 3 years

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I think that Mia gets too bad of a rap from a lot of people.

Like yes, was she an agent of a super shady organization responsible for making a bio weapon that destroyed a great deal of lives? Yes. However we don’t know her motivation for joining them yet.

They could have lied honestly. Like The Connections could have advertised themselves to be a great, loving work environment and maybe Mia was young and naive and joined them. Or maybe she was desperate for money, and it was the only job that would hire her. Or hell, maybe she fully knew what they were and joined anyway, either on account of her morals being twisted back then or thinking that even though the company was evil maybe she could do good. Who knows, honestly.

Either way, with The Connections being a shady organization there’s like a very high chance that you don’t get to walk away from them alive. I’m sure if you quit they’d see you as a liability and take you out with no mercy. And that’s why I think Mia didn’t leave, because she knew she would be killed if she did, and maybe that’s why she took the job with Eveline, because it was more of a “you will do this or else” than an option for her (whether it was implied by her boss or if they were upfront about what bad things would happen if she didn’t take the job).

And maybe if her morals were twisted before I fully think meeting and falling in love with Ethan changed her if that was the case, because the Mia we see in RE7 and RE8 is a good person. We see that in how when the Baker’s rescue her she thanks them but tries to leave immediately and tries to warn them about staying away from Eveline (as shown in the note she left in the dlc “Daughters”). She could have tried to get them to call the hospital or her company but she didn’t, because she knew that she was under Eveline’s control and the longer she stayed there the more danger the family was. If she was a shitty person she wouldn’t have done this, she would have done everything she could to save herself.

We also see that in how she leaves a final video note for Ethan, telling him to stay away no matter what, because she didn’t want him to get dragged down in her mess. She knows how much Ethan loves her and I’m sure she knows if she sent a video saying “Ethan pls help” he’d come running for her, but she didn’t because she loves him and wants him to live even if she can’t be there with him. We see it AGAIN when she saves Ethan from Eveline’s grasp, when she tears him from the mold thing he was in and pushes him out so Eveline couldn’t hurt him. Fully knowing she’d have to face Eveline’s wrath.

And for everyone saying “why didn’t she just tell him then” I mean think about it. I think if this super shady organization found out someone they didn’t hire knew what was going on they’d kill them because again they’d be a liability and a threat. And that’s why she doesn’t tell Ethan because she doesn’t want him to be targeted and killed by them. I think if she had the opportunity she would have left The Connections but knows that it would result in her death anyway, and telling Ethan the truth would just end in his death if they found out and it was too risky in her mind.

And I think it’s this same form of protection that prevents her from telling Ethan he’s infected. She says (or at least we can assume that this was her) in Donna’s section that she didn’t tell him because she was afraid she’d lose him. I don’t think he’d divorce her if he found out he was molded (that doesn’t really make sense for his character), I think she was genuinely afraid he’d die (again) or worse begin to transform into a monster the way the rest of the infected did. And that’s why she keeps it hidden because she was scared to death he’d die or suffer a worse fate. Am I saying she was right in hiding it? No, but I think that everyone saying she’s manipulative and gaslighting are wrong because she truly loves Ethan and Rose, and I know she’d give her life gladly if it meant they could live.

I saw other people get mad because Rose is essentially being used as a bio weapon and how could Mia let this happen and I’m like?? She probably doesn’t have a say?? I mean yes Blue Umbrella is supposed to be “the good guys” now but like they’re still a huge organization, I’m sure Mia did her best to prevent this from happening and keep Rose safe but like at the end of the day what can she really do against a huge company?? If anything get mad at Chris because I’m sure he’s got some clout or something in that company that could have allowed Rose to live a normal life without Umbrella or maybe not being used as a weapon but idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ a lot of people were like “Mia’s sO annoying at the beginning of the game” but fam that wasn’t even her?? That’s Miranda?? Besides even if it was Mia that blew up on Ethan in the hospital (as per Ethan’s diary) 1.) people deal with trauma differently, and I’m not saying it’s healthy but she’s scarred and doing her best and 2.) probably was afraid if they talked too much about Louisiana Ethan would realize he was infected and then BAM he’s either dead or a mutated monster. And in the cutscene of Mia saying “you matter!” Can you imagine the stress of knowing your husband is Mr Mold Man and not being able to do anything about it, out of fear of what could happen to him? Like of course she’s upset and going to blow when provoked (not that Ethan was aggressive or anything just that he was prying into a very high pressure soda that is Mia’s emotions lol) because she’s been bottling this up and has no one to talk to, and after a while anyone would explode. I think she would have told him if he hadn’t answered that call. Also marriage is not rainbows and butterflies, sometimes you get into messy fights with your partner and sometimes you or the other person say things you don’t mean but at the end of the day you love each other and try to be better. If anything Capcom was depicting a normal marriage tbh.

At the end of the day Mia is not the bad guy. She is only human who tried her best to keep her family safe against all the odds and idc what anyone says, Ethan and Mia love each other and have a healthy relationship and that’s that.

I hope I do this ask justice cause this is the kinda ask I’ve been like hoping for cause you are absolutely gosh damn right.

I’m a chill person & I’m never gonna probably get up into someone’s face about anything cause it’s fandom. I’m not here to cater your experience. That being said, when I see some of these frankly bad takes on Mia I’m like

We know Jack shit about why Mia joined the Connections. Literally nothing so people who have a whole solidified nasty opinion of Mia should probably just sit down. You don’t have to like her. But you also could like, idk, be absolutely dead wrong cause lol Capcom went, yeah we’re not gonna explain any of that.

I got the impression that in between re7 and re8 that they are hiding from the connections too but I may have misunderstood that In re8. I think it makes sense it’s the type of organization you do not leave. No matter how badly you want to and once Ethan came along, do people really think she’d risk him? Spoiler alert: no, no she wouldn’t.

Also, re7 started w Alan. He’s the one that let eveline get out of control so...I feel like people forget that.

I’ve been talking to a friend about people using the Miranda Mia against the real Mia and I don’t know how to kindly tell people that the game kinda absolutely explained that’s not Mia? I do think Mias got a temper which makes sense because Ethan is so even tempered that he can balance her out better. But Miranda Mia was a fuckin bitch. She was needling Ethan’s pain and mocking him. Do people think Ethan sat around for three years taking that? Ethan’s a big boy. He can take care of himself. He was even fighting back w Miranda Mia so manipulative and abusive takes belong in the toilet w the rest of the shit.

Mia blowing up at Ethan means nothing. My parents have proven to me marriage is not easy. You will lose it on people when emotions run high. It happens. There’s a world of difference between a moment of anger versus abuse. But you still love and forgive people for moments of anger because we all have them. And I’m sure Ethan can be just as much as a pain in the ass. I love him more than most and I’d be the first person to admit I’m sure he didn’t make it easy all the time either.

Mia held the truth from Ethan because she was scared not just for her but for him too. It’s a selfless kind of lie. We all do them so I don’t know why Mia is getting burned at the stake for it. I’m just not movable on this. That was a heavy thing to carry and she was doing her best.

As for Rose, I don’t even know what Capcom is doing. How can anyone else know? She’s special and powerful. Maybe she wanted that life? I think we can reserve judgement until re9.

Like I said above, no one has to like Mia. Maybe you don’t vibe w her or maybe you still just don’t care for her. That’s cool. But my gosh don’t lie about the kind of person she is. If you can’t acknowledge her world and heart belongs to Ethan and Rose, I’m just not sure what to tell you.

Sorry for ranting on your ask nonnie 😆 I really appreciate that you sent this in! It needed said imo

#thanks for the ask nonnie!!#resident evil #ethan winters #mia winters #mithan #resident evil spoilers #resident evil 7 #resident evil 8 #mrs joe speaks #long post

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celestiababie · 4 years

Text

Yunho NSFW Alphabet A-Z

A= Aftercare (What they do/act like after sex)

Yunho is literally the human embodiment of a teddy bear. After you two have finished, he’ll probably just lay on you, and kiss your neck. He just wants to cling onto you...before you two go for another round.

B= Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Yunho loves his smile the most and he knows you love it too. Whenever he flashes his bright smile at you, you get butterflies all over again, and he just adores that he has that effect on you. He loves your legs when you straddle him or just wrap them around him. Yunho loves the lazy days where you put your legs on his lap and just watch tv. He’s also quite the fan of putting them over his shoulders as he thrusts inside you.

C= Cum (Anything to do with cum… I’m a disgusting person)

He gets carried away when he’s fucking you, so he often cums inside of you. When the two of you first had sex, both of you were so in the moment that you hadn’t realized that he came inside until a few minutes after. He panicked for a few seconds and apologized, but luckily you were able to calm him down by telling him that it was fine and that you were on the pill/clean. Ever since that day, he’s been hooked on cumming in you.

D= Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He really wants to fuck you against a mirror...preferably in the practice room. He’s had a few wet dreams about it, but he doesn’t want to bring it up, in case that you’ll be weirded out, and then he’ll end up embarrassed.

E= Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Yunho has some experience, but not to the point where he could call himself a pro. He’s probably gotten/given head before and that’s about as much experience he’s had before you. He knows how to get you worked up and he knows how to use his body very well. DANCERS ARE THE BEST AT SEX IDC.

F= Favorite position (This goes without saying)

Probably missionary, but with your legs over his shoulders. He loves holding your legs up and rolling his hips into you, making sure that you feel him against the most sensitive within you.

G= Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Or are they more humorous?)

This man-child is a clown! Do you really think that he’s gonna be completely serious? He will probably try and crack a joke here and there when he has sex with you. Whether you like that or not, he can’t hide his bright and goofy personality, even if it’s an intimate moment.

H= Hair (How well-groomed are they?)

Yunho trims regularly, but he’s not bare. He thinks that trimming makes everything look better and it’s just easier to maintain. Man-scaping shows character, folks.

I= Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect)

He’s a giant teddy bear, and even though he’s very goofy, he’d be surprisingly intimate. He loves you and wants to express it both inside and outside the bedroom. Yunho is top quality boyfriend material, and he’d want to give you all the pleasure that you could handle.

J= Jack off (Masturbation)

He doesn’t jerk off that often, he can usually keep himself under control until he sees you. Sometimes if he just needed to release some of his energy, he’d rut against his pillow and send you the audio of him moaning. It would mainly be to try and convince you to come over or let him come over.

K= Kinks (One or more of their kinks)

His tall ass has a size kink, y’all knew this was gonna be said. He didn’t care if you were even an inch shorter than him or a foot shorter than him, he’d still tease you for being smaller than him. Yunho adores how your body looks underneath him, there’s something about him being bigger than you that makes him feel like he can protect you. Yunho also has a slight exhibition kink, he likes the way his heart pounds from nerves, not knowing if someone was going to see both of you.

L= Location (Favorite places to do the do)

As stated before, he has an exhibition kink, he believes that sex doesn’t have to stay in the bedroom at all times. Dressing rooms? On a balcony? Against a big window? He’s down for it all, but don’t worry, he’ll make sure no one actually sees... unless you’re into that.

M= Motivation (What turns them on?)

Due to his size kink, sitting in his lap could get him a bit excited down there, it emphasizes how small you are compared to him, and he can easily tease you for it. Another thing that can get him doing would be teaching you how to dance/ dancing with you, he’s definitely tried to get you to do a sensual dance with him once or twice. If he sees your hips move a certain way or grind upon him, you can bet your ass that he’s gonna whisper in your ear about how much he wants to fuck you.

N= NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

I personally believe that Yunho is a soft dom, so he wouldn’t want you to call you anything bad or degrading, he’d much rather praise you. You’re his baby, why would he want to be mean to his baby?

O= Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He’s a sucker for getting head, he loves when you look up at him as you press kisses to tip. It’s not like he hates giving you head or is bad at it, he’s just average at the activity, he makes up for it with using his sexy ass hands though.

P= Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

This one is tough... I guess that it would all depend on his mood, some days he’ll be rough and desperate for a good fuck, and other days, he’ll be slow and sensual. He has no preference, it really depends on how much tension there is and how needy you both are.

Q= Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex and how often?)

He's a fan of them. You two often have to rush due to fucking in slightly risky places, but he doesn't mind that at all. Sometimes, he treats it as it's a game, which one of you is gonna cum first or, how fast can he make you cum?

R= Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks?)

He has no problem taking risks and experimenting. He's curious about a lot of things and wants to try many things with you if you'll allow him to.

S= Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

This boy has a lot of stamina, it’s scary. As a dancer, he’s able to have a lot of energy and on top of that, he’s a ball of energy in everyday life, so Yunho would be able to go multiple rounds. He’d want to keep going until you were too tired to keep your eyes open. Dis boi a freak lowkey.

T= Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them?)

Poor baby would be confused by toys at first, but would slowly start getting more curious about them. He’d do mild research to find ones that would give you the most pleasure and then gift them to you. He’d be hesitant to use any toys on himself, but he’d give it a try if you really wanted to use them on him.

U= Unfair (How much do they like to tease?)

He mainly teases you about your height, but other than that, he’s fair. He likes to give you what you want and even if he finds your begging adorable, he’d feel bad if he kept pleasure away from you...but if you make him jealous/ piss him off? Good luck.

V= Volume (How loud are they? What sounds do they make?)

L O U D. He’s not annoyingly loud, but he’s not afraid to moan and groan if something feels good. He has to be careful depending on the location you two are having sex, but even then, he’s moaning for you.

W= Wild Card (Random headcanon)

Yunho had invited you over, all the boys were over, but he figured that you were comfortable enough to hang out with all of them. The 9 of you were sitting in the living room, your legs were on the taller male’s lap and he was softly caressing your leg as the rest of the boys were being loud.

Jongho had noticed the older male’s hand on your leg and he narrowed his eyes at the both of you, throwing a pillow at Yunho.

“Hyung, touch your girlfriend somewhere else!”

The other boys had suddenly shut up and looked over at the two of you. Some were confused, some were flustered at the thought and a particular someone was smirking (Wooyoung). You hid your face behind your hands and took your legs off of your boyfriend’s lap. He pouted and made a bold move, pulling your entire body into his lap and kissing your neck.

“I’ll touch her where ever I want.” He muttered against your neck. The boys cleared their throats and contemplated whether or not they should just leave the room...

They didn’t, they kept talking, but couldn’t help but glance at the couple who were almost ready to rip each other’s clothes off.

X= X-Ray (Lt’s see what’s going on in those pants)

He’s a big boi and has sexy hands, so I think he’s above average. He has a decent amount of girth to him and a plus would be that he knows how to use his hips. Big dick+dancer hips= fucking amazing sex. I don’t make the rules.

Y= Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He wants sex a lot more than he’d like to admit, he has so much energy that he wants to let out, and sex is a great way to release all that energy. He’s clingy and that clinginess will often lead to him needing you sexually. I’d say he’d want sex about 5 days out of the week.

Z= ZZZ (How quickly do they fall asleep afterward?)

It depends on how many rounds you two did. Usually, he wouldn’t feel that sleepy if it was a standard night of sex, but if it was a night where you two were at it like rabbits...maybe he’d get a little tired, but he rarely does.

#ateez #atz #ateez smut #ateez imagines #ateez reactions #atz smut #atz imagines #yunho #jeong yunho #ateez yunho #yunho smut #yunho imagines #yunho reactions #jeong yunho smut #kpop smut #kpop imagines

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tully-blue · 4 years

Note

I was wondering if you had any fiveya headcanons or aus that you really like. Also luv ya

Thanks for the ask, Anon! I’m always happy to talk about my fave murder couple, so here we go:

Five, pre-apocalypse, has a sweet tooth (this has a bit of canon support, the Twinkie story, he accepts a candy even after the bad Twinkie, frequenting donut shops and bakeries); Vanya prefers sour candies and it’s only sort of because the faces she makes always have Klaus, Five and Ben giggling behind their hands like gossipy housewives.

To Five’s great displeasure, Vanya loves musicals. She, Mom, and Diego know every word to The Sound of Music. She and Allison bond briefly over Wicked. When they’re older, Five develops a taste for dark musicals (specifically, Phantom and Sweeney Todd).

Winter evenings are best spent in the manor’s expansive libraries, curled up before a fire. Vanya likes to read novels Ben mentioned, if only so she can talk about them with him; she prefers historical and fantasy fiction over Ben’s usual sci-fi novels and comic books, or sheet music when she needs to be practicing. Five reads textbooks and works on his algorithms. He feels better when he can throw a frustrating problem into the fire.

(there are already whole posts dedicated to this but idc) Five 1000% knew the meaning of the name Delores when he chose it, and he picked Delores because her hair was similar to Vanya’s. (changemymind.jpeg)

Five shows affection like a cat. He can spend two hours sitting a few inches from Vanya and it feels just as intimate as holding her hand and stroking her hair. Vanya prefers the actual affection to sharing space. She reassures herself through touch, a brush of her fingers along his sleeve or the soft press of his lips to her forehead when he knows she’s upset.

Post-apocalypse-prevention, the other Academy kids had a betting pool in place for literal years. Klaus was the first one to bring up the possibility of their relationship, when he and Luther talk about Five’s new “Grow up, I kill ppl to save ppl” attitude. Klaus says it would’ve been a lot easier to just kill Vanya, but he risked an unknown jump to save her. Allison spends the next month stalking them to the point that Five threatens to jump her to the Neolithic Age and leave her there. It’s Luther that wins the betting pool, with his guess being that they got together roughly nine months after the averted world-ending. (It was seven months, two weeks, and three days.) However, the other Academy members don’t find out about their relationship for nearly three years. (Five didn’t want Luther to win, but Vanya’s a poor liar.)

Vanya is the one who proposes to Five, long after they’ve affirmed their feelings and merged their lives. They have a spacious apartment together, an extra room for Five’s office as well as a guest bedroom for the revolving-door they called Klaus. She planned out a lovely dinner for the weekend on the roof of their building, near the garden, but he wakes up later than her one morning, padding out onto the terrace and leaning against the rail with his morning coffee while she and her violin ran through their morning warm up. He watches her, expression so soft no one but Vanya would believe it, as she puts everything back in the case covering the entirety of their little patio table, and her hands are shaking from the affection in his eyes, so she shoves them in the pockets of her robe and there’s the ring box, a tiny red velvet box with a simple silver band, and when she drops to one knee his elbow knocks his coffee mug right off the rail and they don’t even see if it smashed against something or someone, because she can’t even ask before he is saying yes, yes, Vanya, i will always say yes - an infinite string of acceptance pouring from his lips before they’re crashed against hers.

They get a house and a yard and a dog; Five tries to grow things in the little garden patch by the shed. Nothing but the white-blooming spirea bushes nestled against the front of the house survive his attempts. Klaus stays with them for a summer and grows tomatoes bigger than the dog’s head.

As for AU’s, I’ve got an extensive list of stories I’m interested in reading or writing (...one day....), but here’s some highlights:

Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist AU: This is my favorite romcom and I will write it. Already in the works, even if I changed some things up. Five is the heir to a famous recording studio, poised to take over if only he can resist murdering his father before he retires. Classic workaholic, would have gone full hikikomori at the age of 22 if it weren’t for work, only friends include his twin brother, sister-in-law, and the best PA in the world, Delores. Coincidentally, all Three™️ of his friends think he needs to get out more. Vanya’s just broken off a two-year engagement and lost her best friend in the same day, due to the same incident of infidelity she stumbled upon, and her brother Klaus needs her to quit moping and cover his drummer’s spot for this hella important show tonight. They end up at the same club. Where Vanya’s ex happens to be. And someone gave Luther some pills that make him feel awesome. Chaos ensues.

I really want a Hogwarts AU. I’m HP trash. Absolutely LOVE the art I’ve seen for the kids in their houses (everyone’s seen @just-themys-fanarts‘s take right? I’ll reblog it again after this in case y’all live under a rock)

On the subject of crossover AU’s, I can think of so many wild AUs I wanna see these kids in (as competing Kingsman recruits, talking about living together in hellishly mundane eternity a la Nadja and Lazlo in What We Do in the Shadows, meeting at Camp Halfblood (though I’d have to brush up on my PJO to write or read this one, it would be a lot of fun);

Look call me basic but Five’s love of coffee is begging for a coffee shop AU. Vanya and Klaus open up a coffee shop with an expansive bakery and Five falls in love with the espresso, the apple cinnamon danishes, and the beautiful, constantly-stressed-and-on-the-verge-of-murdering-her-entire-mess-of-a-staff owner.

Assassin AU. Five’s already there, canonically, and I think I’ve seen some of these on AO3. Look forward to reading them one day.

I’m trash for soulmate AUs, if you didn’t notice, all varieties, not just the soulmark AU I’m writing. First words, can’t see color until you meet your soulmate, dream sharing, the marks on your skin appears on theirs, etc.

I also love a good canon-divergence; Five doesn’t time travel, he takes Vanya with him, he comes back after a couple of days, the possibilities are endless.

wow I am so sorry this is so long. I appear to be long-winded no matter what I’m doing. Thanks so much for the ask! It was fun to share some hcs.

#fiveya #five hargeeves #vanya hargreeves #headcanons #the umbrella academy #five x vanya #five/vanya #fiveya hc #tullyanswers

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unravelling-the-world · 3 years

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random thoughts related to kagepro (tw for depression?? death?? suicide ?? implied ?? im not sure and idk what else read at ur own risk)

well idk lately ive been thinking a lot and ik ive uh always (? since i can remember?) have been depressed (i mean...it started around age 12...i dont really remember much before that. most of what i remember are bad moments anyways. or very specific scenes. but they dont feel mine. if that makes sense. its like remembering the scene from a movie. back on track i guess idk well lately ive realized i actually kin some characters and lately ive...been relating a lot to shintaro kisaragi fromkagepro. i mean its ok. there´s always been that specific similarity in us (after all, how many characters in anime are as related to coca cola as shintaro //and me,,im literally a coca cola addict lmao// well anyways. after some days, this lead me to thinking...to a hidden memory within my brain, i guess. I remember introducing my then best friends, to kagepro. one told me haha he´s like u bc the coca cola!! and i think i just laughed and smiled? i truly didn´t see it? i was sad sure, but i couldnt really relate to him. after all, i was the leader of my own little group of 12 year old weebs,right? (i was also 12 btw) i didnt personally dislike shintaro but i didnt rly see myself in him yknow? also i have loved ayano from ever since i have memory so idk like she´s one of my biggest comfort characters and its weird bc if she was ´´real´´ idk if i could date her or anything but im just glad she exists bc it somehow comforts me a lot yeah anyways ayano essay for another time lol. anyways at this age my favorite characters in kagepro were ayano and konoha ( i still love them a lot) thing is, at this point in my life i didnt know/wasnt aware i was transgender but i already kinda liked he/him pronouns so i roleplayed a lot. online. i roleplayed as konoha obviously lmao and actually one of my irl friends related to shintaro ?? and i think we may have roleplayed lmao and stuff.... she even had a facebook account named shin hikkikomori or smth like that. anyways fast forward bc after being 12 a lot of stuff happened obviously. and none of that relates to kagepro until quite some time. i will mention some items that dont really relate to kagepro but marked moments in my friend group that may be relevant later on. Around 2016)? Some of my closest friends changed schools (but we kept contact) yet i still had a big group at school. But it got fragmented along the way. 2017 i went to Japan and formed a new, different friend group with people that even today, are dear to me. When i came back, my friend group fragmented more. I kept contact with other members of the old group but one on one, not as a group anymore. 2018 we graduated, and i broke up my realtionship with one of my former best friends (2016-2018) 2019 was a year of change, and even though i was afraid and shit got weird, i was not doing too bad. i will skip that. Well. Im sure we all know 2020 was a trainwreck, shit happened. i had a villain arc. I lost my shit,definetely. Ups, downs, whatever. 2021 has not been too different. However, even through everything, in early 2020, i kept close relationships with my friend group. as the year moved forward and the restrictions started lifting ( thank you government very cool <3 //ironically obviously, this is the reason this shit wont go away//) some of my friends saw each other irl and stuff, or talked about stuff i didn´t understand/didn´t want to hear while on discord. I felt alienated. I felt empty. I got mad at a friend for the first time, for something he said. I ended up isolating myself. A friend celebrated her birthday. She invited me and never excluded me, asked me a lot of things and asked to virtually include me. But that would just make me feel more alienated, wouldn´t it? I told her it was ok, i didn´t go. Honestly, I felt like a bother. I didn´t want to bother. I wasn´t okay, but i didn´t want to bother anyone, so i isolated myself. I had a very bad breakdown. lasted weeks. When I recovered, it wasn´t the same. It felt like everyone else was closer, while i drifted away. I kind of recconected with some of my friends from Japan after this. In the vacations, i felt like i reconnected with some friends just to drift away again later. However, i never could reconnect with one of my best friends. She never really got mad at me or anything ( i think) but we don´t really talk much anymore. We used to talk daily, be it actual talking, memes, anything. I don´t think we´ve actually talked in weeks. There´s nothing I can do. This year, another friend had a birthday, but I was so disconnected from everyone I didn´t even care. I mean. It´s all broken now, isn´t it? The other day I just started wondering. When did I start relating to Shintaro so much? I had always been like this, hadn´t I? Who am I, actually? Why do I relate so much now? It´s not just about the soda. I had lost friends before, but I never really felt like that. Sometimes I feel like I´ve lost everyone. In a one year span I became a hikkikomori. About a month ago, when I entered classes, I was recognized as Shintaro pfp and I admitted to kinning him to people i´d never talked to before (on chat) // I decided to go apeshit idc anymore about what anyone thinks of me// I had fun. I think I must´ve posted on my stories, because two different people told me they were the ene to my shintaro. I appreciated it. i mean it´s kinda true bc now that i´m only on the pc they do bother me online and try to get me to open up or get better but sometimes the just annoy me lmao but also not bc they all have their own particular lives and they all seem to be doing better than me. Still, my classmates are very nice and inclusive. But it´s not like im close to any of them I guess. I´m just alone now. I´m fucked up man....I don´t feel real anymore. I don´t really know who I am. I guess that´s why I find comfort in seeing a part of myself in Shintaro? But when did i turn out like this? Why didn´t I relate when I was younger? Well, I hadn´t really lost any friends back then. I now know how painful that is. How lonely it is to be alone even when there is people around. idk. and i´ve always been quiet. introverted. shy. a loser. yet now whenever i meet anyone i try to idk connect? but i cant. i wish i could be more evil. maybe it´d just be easier if everyone really, truly hated me. maybe i´d get the strength to actually kill myself then. it´s weird. i really see myself in route xx shintaro. I know that´s fucked up because I know how it ends. but truly, i was trying. I was healing, i think i was going somewhere. and i was trying to keep my newly formed renovated friend group together. I really was trying to. I didn´t mind if we had sub groups on the big group, but we were all there for each other. I tried my best. I felt like i belonged. but now im alone again. and this time there´s nothing i can do. if something, i´ve made it worse. and i keep making it worse. it´s weird. when i first got into kagepro, both shintaro and ayano felt like adults. i thought they were really, really big. im older than them now. now i know theyre not really adults. i get it. i still feel 18. after all, these last two years have been taken away from me. i didnt waste them myself this time. i feel like a rotten 18 year old...when i listen to lost time memory, i just...get it. i always liked the song. i thought the story was so cool. when it first came out.. i still remember. iwas there. i waited for it. i loved it. i still do, but back then, i just saw it all as some really great and cool song. now i feel like i really, really get it. i love it even more. im hiding away in all my memories. but what is my true heart? what do i really want? i don´t know, i don´t know... If I'm 'wise' then, I can't face forward; I have no reason to so, I'll rot away instead It would be nice if time could be turned back. Years may pass but I'll never die I repeat hopeful words to myself, even though I know I still won't be able to reach you. "It doesn't matter, just die already!" I said as I clutched my wrist, simply cursing it. Unable to do anything, I merely indulged myself in life. "If summer can show me dreams, then let's go to before you were taken away" The days where I hid my embarrassment are illuminating upon the atmosphere and burning my mind. If I'm wishing for a dream that can't come true, then I'll embrace this blurry past and have a dream which I don't wake up from and naturally seclude myself from the outside world. "But that means you can't even see tomorrow?" I don't really care 'bout that, so it's ok I stained my hands in order to kill these boring days I'm choosing "solitude" after all A rotten boy at 18 today too, prayed again while clinging on to your colored smile Underneath the blazing sun Asking "Somehow, please take me away instead of leaving like this!" and my murmuring breath was quietly stopped

I guess i just wish someone could actually help me. take me out of this hole. Maybe some kind of closure would be nice. It´s not the same, though. I don´t have enough bravery in myself to actually kill myself. Mostly because of guilt. I can´t take the guilt of dissapointing everyone. I don´t want my parents to get hurt. I don´t want my bunny to miss me. Yet i wish everyday for it to be over. Lately, half of my dreams have been in Japan, with many friends, some who i met there, some who have never been there. Yet my brain shows me the dreams before it was all taken away. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is dreaming. I like to sleep simply because I dream. And i sleep very few. mayb bc i hate myself? I still barely indulge in life. I do anything to stay distracted. If i think, it all goes to shit. it all does. like now. Heh. it´s funny. I guess no one is truly my ene, because no one actually knows how mentally fucked up i got these past months. No one knows how badly i´ve been treating myself and how badly i´ve been doing. Still, i can´t tell anyone but scream it into the tumblr void. No one has to keep up with my shit. No one has to take care of me. After all, it was I who chose solitude. It was me who kept them away. But I don´t get a second choice. I don´t get a change of routes if things go sour. And i guess I don´t get to get a mentally fucked up friend group where I belong for a second time. Once was good enough, wasn´t it? I.. Even when I wasnt as deep as i am now (again) into kagepro, ive always wanted to die on August 15. It holds meaning to me now as well. Every year I used to ask people to go out with me that day. I know im not brave enough to kill myself. I always hoped for a lil miracle i guess. Last year was the first year...I didn´t do anything. I just... I just hope this year i can make it. I hope the miracle happens this year....I can only hope......its too late for me to be saved, isn´t it? I never thought it´d be like this. I don´t get closure. I don´t get goodbyes. I am left behind on a world that keeps moving. I am nothing.

#long post #hinatalks #we live in a society #fr fr #when i die....if god is real..i´ll end this once and for all. all of it #i am left with nothing but pain and anger.... i cant even feel anymore. i think i forgot how to

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yiangchen · 4 years

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ok but literally what the fuck was s5? i have spent so much time trying to defend clarke and bellamy from people who hate one and prop up the other, but honestly, they were BOTH fucking IDIOTS in s5. they both had ooc moments. like,,,, i can kinda appreciate what the writers were trying to do a lot of the time, but it was not executed well. like AT ALL.

yes, mothers are irrational sometimes about their kids’ safety, but what they are not (normally) is dumb, and i’m sorry, but clarke was dumb as fuck for like half of the season and her motivations were ALL over the place. bellamy is her best friend. she radioed him every day for over six years and ONLY him. she would NEVER just leave him to die like that. NEVER. no matter what he has done, she has always forgiven him. no matter what. that’s what made bellarke bellarke. her unwavering faith in him (and his in her). and yet, he does one (1) thing she disagrees with and she doesn’t even try and hear him out??? she thinks running is the best solution?? that she and madi won’t get hunted down and killed eventually??? that maybe she should not at least consider for one second that maybe staying and fighting while she has people to protect her and madi by their sides would be a smart move??? the answer to all of these is a fucking no. she doesn’t think, and that’s the problem. clarke is the HEAD. idc that she’s supposed to be the “heart” now. people don’t just change like that. it doesn’t matter than it’s been six years, you can’t just change THAT much. okay, i’m not gonna say it’s impossible, but if they wanted us to believe that clarke had changed, why did we not get to SEE that development? she’s supposed to be the heart as a parallel to how bellamy was the heart and how he handled his relationship with octavia back in s1, but we didn’t get to see HOW SHE GOT THERE. we got half an episode. that’s it. and it’s NOT enough!!! it’s fucking not. if you’re gonna have clarke griffin radio bellamy blake every single day for six years, never losing her faith in him for even a day--not even after over a year had passed since he was supposed to have been home already--then you’re gonna have to show me more of the trauma she endured. you’re gonna have to show me more of her relationship to madi--the one that has become more important than any other relationship. because how else do you explain her acting irrationally and leaving bellamy to die like that? it makes ZERO sense. we did not see enough of her development for that. you cannot have four seasons of clarke growing to care about bellamy in the most beautiful development i have ever seen and then just erase it all in one (1) episode, not to mention the fact that clarke REFUSES to destroy the chip!!! so,, this was something she left her best friend in the entire world for and yet she can’t destroy it because it contains the memories of her dead lover who she only spent less than a few weeks with in canon--a week in s2 and a week in s3? are you kidding??? that is not how you pay tribute to a dead character. you don’t fuck over the LIVING female lead and have her motivations make no sense at all to pay tribute to a DEAD guest character. and then they had the audacity to have clarke shock madi?????? everything she did was supposed to be for madi--to protect her--and now the writers had the audacity to have her abuse her??? are you fucking kidding me??? and please show me the parallel scene of bellamy physically harming octavia. because you know, clarke’s supposed to be him now, i guess. oh, wait?? it doesn’t exist!!! BELLAMY never physically harmed octavia so CLARKE also never should have physically harmed madi. i just...bellamy and madi are supposed to be the two most important people in her life and yet she slaps one of them and leaves him to die and then wrestles the other one to the ground and shocks her????? and she never even apologized for slapping bellamy or shocking madi?!?! add that to the fact that clarke hardly showed ANY emotion at all during the entire time she thought bellamy was dead to the point where we didn’t even know that she thought he was dead until she found out he wasn’t!!!!! we’ve already seen how clarke handles thinking she could be the reason that bellamy blake is dead and that was in s2 and she was literally a fucking control freak about his safety 24/7, and you’re telling me that same woman hardly felt anything at all until she found out he was still alive!?!? IDK WHO THAT WOMAN WAS THAT DID THOSE THINGS BUT IT WAS NOT CLARKE GRIFFIN !!!!

and bellamy??? trying to use a child because he thought it was the best way to save everyone? i’m sorry but in what fucking world--i repeat, in WHAT FUCKING WORLD--would bellamy blake, mother father of all children who have ever existed, think that the best way to save everyone would be to use a child as a pawn in a power struggle??? i don’t care that madi agreed. OF COURSE she agreed. she was told clarke would die if she didn’t ascend!! and this is the same child that joined a cult in order to save her mother. so like???? of course she was gonna agree to ascend?? and then i get that bellamy is mad that clarke left him (and slapped him--i was mad too!!), but you’re telling me that bellamy never even felt bad at all or even apologized for how things went down? madi told him clarke would never forgive him for this and he knew that and you could tell he hated that it had come to that, but then later at the end of the season and into s6, he never apologizes for that??? for breaking her trust?? bellamy blake NOT apologizing for causing a loved one harm?? again, IN WHAT FUCKING WORLD?!? and then there’s the fact that he was willing to take the rover and run to save raven, e.cho, murphy and emori but the second clarke suggests that plan because she doesn’t want madi to ascend, suddenly bellamy is all nope nope nope, we can’t do that! like....WHAT. literally what. the. fuck. it makes no sense!! and i swear to god, half the time, it felt like bellamy was just going through the motions with everything. it just didn’t seem like him. it didn’t matter that he was still doing things for clarke, like in 5x03. it didn’t matter because there was still something OFF. even the stuff with octavia i don’t think was handled well at all and i hate octavia!!!! me, a known octavia hater, a known advocate for wanting bellamy to tell his sister off, wasn’t happy with him doing just that???? and it’s because it didn’t feel like it was bellamy doing it!!!! i wanted to see the bellamy i knew and loved in s4. i wanted to see THAT bellamy telling her off. not this emotionally-repressed shell of a character that used to be him. which brings me to another thing: it’s not that who bellamy was after those six years was not realistic. it’s that we didn’t get to see him develop during those six years. there were ZERO flashbacks. Z E R O. for the male lead there were zero flashbacks to explain the man he became and we were just supposed to accept that he’s the kinda guy who jokes about his sister’s almost death now??? the kinda guy who would ever cross the line into dating territory with the girl that is quite literally the root cause of his trauma??? that he would trust her--the girl who got his girlfriend killed--just because “it’s been six years!!!” and “people change???” and you know, we just have to accept ALL of that. no explanation but bellamy running around polis in 5x06 with the sole purpose of being a mouth piece for the writers???? IDK WHO THAT MAN WAS BUT IT WAS NOT BELLAMY BLAKE !!!

jfc, s5 was seriously the WORST season of this show. HANDS DOWN. literally what the fuck was that??? bellamy and clarke, i’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve that complete and utter bullshit. both of them were ooc as fuck and they didn’t make sense half the time. i felt connected to clarke in s5a, but then 5x09 came around and she just fucking lost me!! and bellamy didn’t seem like himself the ENTIRE season. it wasn’t until s6 for me that he finally came back from the war. speaking of s6, oh my fucking god. the bellarke of it all was amazing. i loved josephine as a villain. but that was pretty much it!!! everything else was terrible. i hate that clarke was treated like complete and utter shit by the biggest hypocrites and then was forced to forgive them instantly by the writers. why is clarke not allowed to be mad?!?!?! i certainly still am!! and on another note, why did leaving bellamy in s5 have to be her biggest regret??? why couldn’t it have been leaving him in s2?? we went all the way back to s1 with things she regrets and yet we couldn’t go back to her leaving him at the end of s2???

honestly, i don’t understand why so much of this had to happen. you could literally remove s5 from the timeline of the show and just change a few things and it wouldn’t change anything!!! s5 was basically jroth acting like octavia had never mistreated bellamy before and needed to give him a reason to finally cut her out his life for a little bit. it was jroth acting like clarke had never regretted leaving bellamy before and needed her to leave him so that she could feel like shit about it and give her “friends” a reason to hate her. it was jroth acting like we couldn’t have had bellamy risk everyone for clarke and clarke only in the season directly after he’s forced to leave her to die. it was jroth acting like we couldn’t have had clarke and bellamy talk about her radioing him the season directly after the episode we found she radioed him for 2,199 days. it was jroth acting like s1-4, for the most part, just didn’t exist. it felt like we were watching the pilot of a new tv show. because clearly we weren’t supposed to care about anything that had happened in s1-4! certainly not the relationships that we had grown to love! and here’s the best part!!! we were supposed to forget all about s1-4 in s5, but ONLY in s5. and then we were supposed to remember it all again in s6 so that it made sense when clarke was the only one who had to be called out for nearly every wrong thing she ever did in those seasons. only...it still doesn’t make sense!!! because contrary to what raven reyes believes, other characters on this show have done horrible things, said they were sorry, and then done them again!!!!!!!! it’s like the main fucking theme of the show if you haven’t noticed, jason!!!

okay, i’m done. and wow, it feels good to finally let that out, especially the part about s5 bellamy and clarke both being morons lmfao. because they were!! they are my favorite characters and the only reason i still watch, but even i have to admit they were not themselves.

#bellamy blake #clarke griffin #madi #anti raven reyes #bellarke #i love soulmates #the 100

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ramblingshit · 5 years

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Persuasion 1995

The incoherent rambling commentary of a 3am viewing.

we start in a boat -- wait have i done this one before -- who cares CIARAN HINDS BBYYYY. I have sheep too just in my front yard ya know. that's just how it be. here's some boats - i can see where they pasted the fake boats in teh background i love it .calm nice piano music. dude is cutting the lawn people out here with top hats and wigs. oh dear everyone pissy SHOW ME THE MONEYYYY. lots of wigs and coats and here's a lady in a turban she's definitely the worldy kind. sailors n shit sitting drinking wine and smoking. oh god who's this. i can't hear the dialogue over my laptop fan. this ol mate's a fop i hate his voice. oh dear he's supposed to be a moron huh. oh whoops the fop is a baronet and he is poorr lol sucked in he got debtss extreme debts you musssttt retreennnnnchh. the neighbours be tryna help out and hereeee is Anne eyy. wow eatin grapes and sorbet and they're goin to Bath. he hates sailors and now he has to be ol mate's tenant. ohh Anne knows about the admiral and this fop keeps talking nonsense. a lady with no children has the best furniture. WENTWORTH she gasps. and she is dramatic and sad, puts her tea down takes a breath by the window and comes back takes up her tea and sits down damn. aww Ann---OH 'since no one will want you in bath its best you stay here!' what a fkn bitch what is happening. ITS AUNT PETUNIAA. naww anne is so cute and petite and so miserable. her sister looks cruel and stupid and her dad is just as bad honestly. damn they got Greek statues in their giant house. her sister. is. a . bitch. fuck me. give her like two lists and tells her to go visit everyone in the parish. damn all the peeps glared at him as he left like give us the money you foppish twat. Poor Anne, that is a fkn big ass house. everyone's watching em leave. ohhh cows. oop packing up the house, sheets over the furniture, she's lucky they got like a thousand servants. she's found something in teh box - it's a letter in the shape of a boat ooh i wonder who its from. she's been miserable for years; she hates Bath; her mum's dead and everything went to shit after that - her dad's a moron, her sister's a bitch, she's out here gonna fixedly avoid risking meeting him. Lady Russell - she's the one tsk tsk. oooh Annneeeee she is persuaded despite disapproval and anxiety of his prospects - she was 19 and she wanted to fuck and Lady Russell told her to fuck him off because he was a peasant damn fuck Lady Russell; she just brushes Jane off like shut up little girl I'm right you're wrong move on dumbass. And Anne's like, did you not hear me - i literally just tried to tell you I hate my fucking life and I miss him and I love him and I kinda resent you for telling me to say no. More sheep and a puppy, and close up view of sheep. dad and sister got to ride in a fancy carriage and Anne has to ride in a wagon that's a bit rough. I like her bonnet. oh my god her sister i love her. 'i am soooooooo ill' - she's searching for attention; lonely and miserable and sad and a little bitter. Mary you poor girl leave Anne alone none of that emotional manipulation. 'oh i was very well yesterday, it's just today' yeah alright. sounds like Charles isn't as rich as the Elliots and Mary's not happy about it. ohh i know this lady and of course Anne can play piano very well and everyone knows it -- Mary tryna cut in like yes i'm as accomplished as Anne and they're awkward like ehhhh but we like watching you dance and Anne doesn't dance so there you go and she sits there with an awkward cringe 'no'. Mary goes off and sulks and Charles rolls his eyes. The Musgroves are rich and friends ohmygod Mary don't be embarrassing in your bitterness yikes and we cut and Mary was there but now Mrs Musgrove and Anne are sitting in teh same spot - I like Mrs M's dress, even the lace around her shoulders that matches the hat I don't know it just seems refined or something. There's lots of very swift conversations - good pace just like my fingers and brain can't keep up yo. Yikes Mrs M thinks Mary is a shit mum; Mary says Mrs M riles em up with lollies; Charles says Mary interferes and fancies herself ill; Mrs M tells the kids are so naughty the only way to keep em chill is to feed them cake; dunno who this girl is (Henrietta?) anyway the brown haired petite one, they're sitting in the window, Anne's finished her tea by now damn how is she so casually moving from person to person how long have they been chillin with the Musgroves? anyway she's tea-less and talking with brown-haired-possibly-Henrietta: wants Mary to stop being rude over Mrs M even though she has precedent to no one likes her for it; blondish sister now and Anne's got more tea and this one says Mrs M's not one for etiquette she just wants cake lmaooooo; Mary is superior and wants her to persuade Charles that she is very very ill. Anne and Charles sigh on the couch together. Now only Charles has got a tea. okay never mind Mary's a bit more like her sister than I thought. oh my god kids ew. it's petunia looking high as a kite ahaha i wish i was her naw petunia was like idc bout your sister I wanted to meet you btw ol mate is married and Anne's like kill me now I guess. she's horrified, shocked, wants to find an ant hill to bury herself in. god mary's a bitch i take back everything i said about her but all is well Anne has a new friend. she's got a very good memory, Anne does, naw and she's good with her nephews. what's this girls name plz tell me oh it is Henrietta. oh damn they're invited to the house tonight to 'meet Mr Frederick WEntowORTH by ALL aCOunts a most CHarMinG anD agreEable GeNtlemAn' Anne could not look more uspet. fixing her hair in the mirror - there's boys screaming ohh no a child what's happened oh god Mary's screaming for Anne the boy has broken his collarbone - she's knowledgeable chatting with the doctor - Charles marches in like wtf my dumbass kid out here falling out of trees - it's his first born the kid looks so fkn miserable that's hilarious now he's off to dinner cause -- oh damn i forgot they wear gloves. this kid's just lying there. ahah Mary doesn't give a fuck about her kids she just wants to be in on everything -- damn--"you are the properest person to sit with the boy. but you haven't a mothers feelings, have you?' like BITCH she's just offered to sit here so you can go to dinner and you're out here being a fucking cunt for no reason? gtfo. and the scene just changes with that damn savage leave Anne be she deserves better than this. oh damn i know that cheekbone. Anne's been out here watching this kid all night like literally and Mary shrugs off that Wentworth barely asked after her because they're barely acquaintances and says he and Charles are out shooting and Anne's tense like uhh they're not coming here tho right and just as Mary's like nah BAM SURPRISE BITCH o no O NO and THERE HE IS DRAMATIC ZOOM HE DOESNT EVEN LOOK AT HER SHE LOOKS TERRIFIED, HE BARELY GLANCES AT HER, doesn't talk to her, she grips the chair tight fuck he's hot. another swift glance and he's gone. dramatic zooms all around. Mary returned, didn't even look at her injured child who has a big ass cut on his face who's just sitting in the corner looking plain and miserable and wentworth - "you were so altered he would not have known you again' - scene cuts to her sitting in front of a mirror looking fucking sadddddd. they're all at dinner together fuck me he is so hot my god. the girls are all over him and he's enchanting everyone with his stories and of course the reason why he first went out comes up and he's like 'i was extremely keen... to be at sea. i was extremely keen. i badly wanted to be doing something.' the PAIn in his eyes, the tight swallow as he turned to listen to the Admiral, who sits Right next to Anne who's sorta just sitting with wide eyes staring at the salad bowl. then the admiral leans over 'when a man has no wife he wants to be afloat again' and she's like yeah wow ah ha ha ah 'yes well i had no wife - pity the essex (?? dunno what that means but I GET THE POINT)" and then he looks at her properly for the first time and i want to die and she wants to die and he wants to die and we are all quite miserable where we are BUT WE ARE ONLY A HALF HOUR IN and we move on talkin bout his ship crap just wait im eating chocolate but i have many thoughts. sorry honestly theres no time to take a breath in this movie i love it but damn it doesn't give one enough time to write and snack. RIGHT - ol mate's declared he'll never have a woman on his ship because its not pink and frilly enough and petunia's stepped in like fkn excuse me m8 wanna say that again? and also is Anne and petunia related because they are looking very similar to me right now??? they're not related. alright pulling us back yet again, I'm so sorry this is a mess I'm eating chocolate at 1 am and watching Persuasion, I think you can guess how my day has been. they keep talking about him getting married and he laughs and jokes it off and then excuses himself like yeah real smooth yeeting yourself outta here dude at that certain topic hanging around. naww the only time petunia felt scared or bad was when she was away from her husband this is adorable. ol mate's tryna play the piano to the amusement of the girls, sees Anne sneaking up to listen and immediately hurries outta there, face pale never moved so fast in his life i bet and they all follow him and she just sits down and starts playing while everyone dances. for people who were so refined they danced like crazy people --- 'no never she has quite given up dancing' Wentworth's face falls and he looks at her and she looks away from him come on guys you are hurting me. some guy has just rocked up who the heck is Henry - a cousin? who is not --- 20,000 pounds fuck me. Charles and Mary; wait we're talking about Henry. oh my god, they're planning who's gonna marry who - Henrietta and lousia and henry and wentworth 'what say you Anne, which one is the Captain in love with? she laughs slightly - I've never seen someone so depressed before in my life, at least not in a romance . this is actually a really sad story ya know, Wentworth got rejected and fled to sea; and Anne rejected him and became depressed about it for years. damn. anyway these girls can't go anywhere without Mary butting in, now they're going for a long walk or something and Mary's forcibly inserted herself and they look at each other and the poor kid is sitting with his arm in a bandage that goes round his neck? with that scratch on his face and adorable little round glasses sitting at the table with some cake and a puzzle he's doing with Anne like please don't abandon the suffering child has he even had any panadol?? Who the hell is looking after this kid if they're all going on this long walk - now Charles and Wentworth too. Charles helps two of em over, Wentworth helps Louisa over the fence, and Anne has to help herself over, which she does without hesitation good girl you do you fam. yikes Charles and that are going to Winthrop or something where Charles' aunt lives and Mary's offended to have such connections and refuses to go and assures Wentworth she's only been there twice and he half-smiles politely. louisa came running up to take Wentworth wherever and he like turned around to look at Mary and Anne and Anne fkn spun around to avoid him just generally so smooth these two so smooth. Anne's looking around at like anything and everything except him. every time he's nearby she tenses up and skitters around like she's tryna hide in plain sight but also stand tall and brave and staring straight at him like she wants him to look at her so badly. 'we all wish that charles had married anne instead' 'did charles want to marry anne' 'did you not know' 'you mean she refused him' 'yes' ... 'my parents think it was Lady Russell's doing, that my brother not being philosophical enough for her taste she persuaded Anne to refuse him.' ohhhhhh. damn. Wentworth is very quiet. Mouth tight. Brow low. Anne's freaking out down the hill. Mary's just stolen her spot. Christ. It's chaos. Anne's stumbling along she's tired she's sad she's got the depression her sister's a nightmare, WEntworth doesn't care about her, she cares about him, everything is awful and she trips over some sticks and he turned to look at her, concerned out of his thoughts. Hey petunias back with her carriage and they're offering a seat and Wentworth like rushes over and whispers for them to take Anne and she catches it like wtf confusion she goes to protest and suddenly He's AT her SIDE and he doesn't even say anything and he leans his head down to hers for a moment with a gentle look on his face, putting a hand to her back and her brain just shuts down as he leads her to the carriage and hold her hip tight as he helps her up and she looks around in shock and he's staring straight forward like everything is chill and doesn't look at her again. oh wait petunia is wentworth's sister damn awesome but she doesn't think very well of him. oh they're going to Lime and they ask if Anne can come and I think Wentworth choked on his tea a little bit. and here's some establishing shots : the ocean. Some rocks with seaweed on them. The shittest 'beach' ive ever seen there's like boulders everywhere where's the sand? is that a teepee of seaweed? what Wentworth looks pretty happy about it though like he wants to jump in. I like Charles he's a funny dude. Wow that is one helluva hat Wentworth. All these fancy people going into a sailor's home like etiquette is what but everyone is chill with it except Mary of course. is Anne supposed to have her bonnet off? o no now she's chosen to be the nice depressed girl who tries to talk to the weird depressed guy who is too into poetry about death. cute they're all shoulder to shoulder around the guy's table. she starts getting the hint that this guys a bit off 'you cannot know the depths of my despair.' damn son get a therapist. ohh shittt 'you have no conception of what i have lost' 'yes I have' she says, and Wentworth is sitting there smoking what could be a blunt who can honestly say and he heard the whole thing. Wentworth and Louisa are doing a whole lot of hanging out. Like every time they actually speak to each other feels like a momentous occasion - they literally just said 'good morning' to each other and it feels like such a big step and her heads down and he's watching her BIG STEPS --oh shit some blonde haired guy that im sure will come up later tipped his hat to the girls and then Anne and Wentworth was coming up behind her and she looked over her shoulder to look at the BLondie but wentworth thought it was at him and he SMILED to himself nawwww. that looks like the house from Pride and Prejudice ahaha. whoop Blondie's back and she looked back at him again and now they're at breakfast ohmyGadh his eyes sparkle when he looks at her the few times he looks at her my god they're talking about Blondie who is apparently their cousin or something and he and mary and anne's father aren't on good terms and she tells Mary so and he looks over his bowl with those fkn sparklllinggg eyes and a playful smile and it doesn't even matter what he says just that look and he drinks his soup and licks his lips and looks up at her and she's just staring but like calmly not even freaking out and she lowers her eyes to her toast and just chills like all is well. whoop i think weird depressed guy is gonna propose but before he can whats up we're helping girls down some scary stairs yikes i'd sit my ass down going down those things. Louisa is being crazy oh fuckkkk ahahaha hahaSPLAT holy shit oh fuck weird depressed guy is standing in the background with his hands over his mouth Anne is in there with Charles and Wentworth damn she'd 100% be a doctor nowadays, Louisa the dumbass has smashed herself on the cobblestones and WEntworht is just freaking out and he is looking straight to Anne who is giving straight smart orders and he is following them without hesitation - the other women are crying they're all sitting around her while the doctor does like... something and Anne's the only one like hey we have shit to do like people gotta hear about this we don't have phones and her speaking makes Wentworth speak and Charles is in shock cause its his baby sister whose hurt. Once again she's looking after the injured person and she walks out and Wentworth is talking to Charles 'I think it should be Anne - no one so capable as Anne--' he cuts off when he sees her coming in 'I-we-you'll stay, won't you?' he stammers as she enters holy fuck my heart can't handle...they're just staring into each others eyes; in any other context man. he clarifies himself but fuck if they didn't think it. ah fuck Mary is so annoying crying that she should be the one to stay with Louisa like bitch you didn't even give a shit about your injured son let alone your sister-in-law wtf she needs a slap why are they listening to her. 'If only I -- if only--' he cries in the carriage 'yes.' Anne said, looking at him sadly. 'Anne... I regret that...' he looks at her once and again and again and she lowers her eyes and holds the sleeping Henrietta close. like honestly i feel like there's no problem writing their dialogue cause there is just so little of it and when it does happen all of it means everything. but anyway she doesn't answer him and I am sad and he is sad. 'damned foolish' he sa---wait holy shit SCREAAAAAAAMINGgGg fucking hell grab your torches and pitchforks Mrs Mudahwhatver is screaming and Wentworth is riding off in the rain and once again Anne is all alone and she stays up just walking around all night and playing the piano and yay Louisa is conscious and Anne continues to be depressed poor girl and you can tell because its raining. and its still raining and they're not back-- wait now she's in Bath and her fop father and bitch sister are lounging irritatingly and he says he's happy for her to have come because it will be an advantage to have four at dinner. things are white and gold - clean and unhomely and too perfect and the fop is calling everyone ugly - they're eating sorbet again ahaha yum. god they all look bored and miserable and here's blondie come to greet them and he glances at Anne, processes and then snaps back to stare at her in astonishment he's got nice hair and he continues to stare damn and she's so confident she just smiles and stares back I'm so jealous she can do that. oh mygod they're having an intimate conversation in front of her shitty family dude i know he'll probs turn out like a wickham character but one can have hope. damn that jaw-line tho. hmmm lady russell is back. i hate her hair. metal cups are odd - they make sense but so strange. Russell's got plans man Anne's telling her about how her bitch sister is after Blondie and Russell laughs and pats her cheek. Oh yay it's petunia! aw she hears the admiral is in poor health and she's immediately like what's wrong here come get some water. damn bitch sister 'she is nothing to me' damn whats about the screaming and the random rage bursts damn. oh and here's a viscountess why are they always fucked. Blondie and Anne are in the corner flirting crazily I know he's bad but like you can't fake this chemistry no one's that good. and suddenly she's surprised?0oh my god that suit. Mrs Smith oh my god she's adorable she and Nurse Rook are gossipers hell yeah 'there are no secrets in Bath' naw this better not be a Helen situation come on guys - oh fuck Louisa is gonna marry weird depressed guy?? and Anne is freaking thrilled. damn it rains a lot here. far out hats are crazy. Here's Blondie. Anne's so used to being verbally abused by her sister she doesn't respond -----holy damn its Wentworth walking down the street. Penelope is n---- oh fuck he just walked in -- she took a breath with her back to him then spun around HOWDY he looks shocked and delighted and she hse ewihpewjihp oh my god they love each other and they're so nervous and uncertain about it oh my god so awkward and cute please trying to go through the etiquette script oh no so cute 'im already armed for Bath' he grins and she laughs ----oh no. ... oh shit. Blondie just showed up and she just accepted Wentworth's umbrella everything was going so well stop awwww nooo his face falls, her face falls everything is awful. standing all solemn and glum by the window and all dressed in white looking shiny and gorgeous her little sack bag is weird but. and who is she looking for, I wonder. The family is standing awkward---there he be. tall and commanding and hmhmmm i love a man in uniform - she steps in front of him as he tries to pass him by. asks him if he's come for the concert - 'no ive come for a lecture on navigation am i in the wrong place' damn son no he's so good at making her laugh she never laughs oohh her family have to bow to him interesting - he's asking her how she's been since Lime I love them talking he starts on about being concerned about weird depressed guy getting married to Louisa because of his depression about his dead fiance 'a man does not recover to such a devotion to such a woman - he ought not; he does not' i'm sorry was that a declaration of love m8 omg Anne knows it too 'i should like to see it again' 'would you i would've thought i mean the distress, too painful' 'but when the pain is over...' dudes DUDES guys please guys 'It was my doing solely mine - Louisa would not have been obstinate if i had not been weak - Anne, I have never--' GUYS NO the fucking viscountess wandered in ruining everything and now he's gone please come back who cares about this lady singing i mean the candles look cool and but stop honestly who cares bring back Wentworth. omg fop is asleep, Anne and Blondie are bantering and she's not realising that she's pushing into flirting, again my god silly silly innocent naive and entirely relatable lol help. but there's Wentworth standing all tall and handsome in the corner and he looks so sad and meanwhile Blondie is like tryna propose and Wentworth is tryna yeet outta there and she's sprinting over to him tryna block his way tryna convince him to stay HOW THE TURN TABLES 'the next song is beautiful its a very beautiful love song is that not worth your staying for.' 'there's nothing worth my staying for.' kill me. Blondie needs to like there's no way he couldn't tell. Yay Charles is here! oh and Mary lol. Lol everyone is making decisions on what Louisa and Henrietta are gonna wear on their wedding day except they themselves?? And here is ol mate sweeping int eh room, smile briefly falling at the sight of Anne but everyone's happy to see them yay. mate what he just swept over to her talking softly ohmhwy god i don't think they've said anything directly to each other in their lives its all round the bend and metaphors and insinuations please kill me i love it he picks at her that she says she doesn't like the parties her family and Blondie give; 'they mean nothing to me' she has nothing in common with them and dislikes how they are, they're smiling at each other - oh shit Mr Elliott is out there meeting with her sister's friend or whatever now fkn Russell's tryna PERSUADE (ahaha) her into marrying Elliot 'that is not what I want!' Russell is shocked. now he's here looking stiff and snappy and awkward because the admiral has told him to invite her and her newly engaged Mr Elliot to his house and oh my god poor ol mate he wants to yeet away into the sunset goodbye world fuck you all 'if you wish it all you have to do is give me a yes or a no and we are both released' 'the admiral is too kind...' 'just say it: yes or no.' fuck you jane austen. Anne is overwhelmed and stormed off Russell faces Wentworth, he sneers her name, she smiles serenely 'You have an extraordinary ability to discompose my friend sir' , he twitches ' you have an extraordinary ability to influence her ma'am for which I find it hard to forgive you.' damn and then the scene ends damn. she's run off to Mrs Smith and Nook I love em she's ranting about everyone thinking she's gonna marry this guy and they're astonished and relieved cause he is poor and living on loans - he wants her for her money, title and lands thank god she's got her friends eyyy yasss. naw petunia and mrs musgrove are here my favs. Wentworth is writing a letter. whever they're in the room she can't help but look at him. she's talking with weird depressed gyu's fiance's brother - he's bitter that he's moved on so fast - she wouldn't have, its not in her nature, 'it would not be in the nature of any woman who truly loved.' 'do you claim that for your sex?' 'we do not forget you as soon as you forget us.' blah blah about women being stuck at home because people were shit to us back then fuck the patriarchy and all that. Fiance's brother says women and men are the same in being inconstant and forgetting those they love or have loved. Their convo gets interrupted by Wentworth knocking the whatever it is that they sprinkle over ink to dry it off the table and everyone's like dude the fuck we don't own vacuum cleaners you know. Fiance's brother says he's not read a book in his life that didn't have something to say on women's fickleness. 'but they were all written by men.' she argues. they laugh. he's on about going off to sea and being the victim cause he has to leave his family behind and boohoo it's so hard for me to be away from them even though i'm the one choosing to go away. yikes too close to home. anyway lolol. She says that above all, women are the ones who love the longest when all hope is gone. they all left, he snuck back and put out a letter on the desk, gave her a look and then left. she pretty much threw herself at it OH MY GOD THE LETTTTTTTTERRRRRRRR dudes dudes dudes dudes deud ed dud oh ymf theihwhes 'where are you going' 'i hardly know' ihowyiqruhoijpfg0hurbj3ifjpgrn Charles just keeps on standing between them and chattering finally gets it tips his hat and trots off wringing his hands. those eyes - he offers a hand, he takes it - i tried to forget you, i thought i had. they kiss very slowly, very gently, very chastely. his hair all windswept like that is very becoming - the way she slowly ran her hands over his arm before tucking it into his --- aand now there is a very random festival procession what and they're walking down the empty street. okay cool fine. she wanders into the gaming room or whatever, the camera mans shadow spreading all over the place, her sister grabs her and tells her not to monopolise wentworth - there's another war coming? oh how romantic. 'MY PROPOSAL OF MARRIAGE TO YOUR DAUGHTER ANNE HAS BEEN ACCEPTED.’ he fucking beams. everyones shocked. 'Anne? You want to marry anne, whatever for?' he just grins at the fop. And now she's on a ship and they're sailing off to war, oh how romantic. and there you go.

ya know before this 1-3am viewing i wouldve given this a 4/5 or even 4.5/5, but now I’m gonna give it a 3/5. there’s just something about it thats a bit... idk. still really like it but also.. yeah.

#rambling shit #rambling #shit #commentary #persuasion #1995 #ciaran hinds #amanda root #fiona shaw #petunia dursley #review #very tired #movies #movie #period movie #eyy #persuasion 1995

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army-loveblog · 5 years

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Guess who has headcanons?

Army headcanons incoming and I have a lot.

i’m serious there’s so much fucking content in this and i keep adding more

if you WANT to read all my shit then by all means, i’m just warning you

Continue at your own risk.

-Army use to play violin when he was younger and still knows how to play it

-He as paranoia

-Due to his paranoia, he knows a shit ton of stuff about survival and what to do if you get a serious injury

-He’s a weapon hoarder, so he has a whole damn armory under his house. he also has like 3 copies of every weapon

-The reason he has so many weapons is because he likes to tinker and modify weapons as a hobby. he would never bring them into turf, he just thinks it’s fun

-He has his original N-Zap on display in his armory

-first aid kits. everywhere

-big house, rich bitch

-not as rich as emperor, but at least upper middle class

-He has 2 cabinets for medicine. One is the main and the other is the backup, which is literally a copy of Cabinet 1. he takes Cabinet 2 with him on long trips.

-he cares a lot about proper grammar and being formal

-He hates swearing, and will only cuss if he’s in a state of extreme emotion

-He’ll only eat what he cooks because PARANOIA

-Armory also includes shooting range and training zone for testing his modified weapons

-Bring a broken weapon to him and he’ll fix it, no questions asked, and it’ll be done well

-Ironically, he’ll get injured in the dumbest ways. don’t ask how, he just will

-He cares about his health and everyone else’s health a lot

-Heavily dislikes Emperor but wants to try and.. not do that

-Actually has a good sleep schedule.

-Healthy

-WEAK though. he uses the n-zap, which is basically a toy model, so it’s very light. he focuses more on speed and agility rather than strength and endurance.

-both offensive and defensive in battles, using his ink armor to push his team forward, and the suction bombs to place them down strategically, hopefully keeping the opponent away from the goal

-has a journal, but doesn’t write in it much. usually only when he cant sleep.

-when he falls asleep, his sleeping posture will be good, but when he wakes up his body is twisted around and he wakes up with back pains, so he needs to stretch a lot (turf wars usually help with that) he can’t really help how he moves in his sleep

-trains with his team on a daily basis except on weekends unless they want to

-strict, but not enough to be dislikable

-can cook things besides curry >:/

-favorite dish is curry, but doesn’t make it all the time

-cooks for himself every night and lives alone

-would die for his teammates, probably the s4 too

-his armory is REALLY secretive, so you’d only know where it is if you follow him

-owns a real gun

-knows close combat with arms and legs, but usually only uses his legs because he has 0 arm strength he still tries though

-threaten him and he’ll threaten back

-good liar but doesn’t lie because it’s morally wrong

-age 19-20, hims adult

-he’s ace but not aro (not sure what this part is yet)

-his chapter was when he was younger and more cocky and insufferable, like every teen

-has different manuals about different topics, but his largest one is battles, and it has different sections for ranked and turf

-writing helps calm him down

-sometimes he still plays violin, but not a whole lot

-parents forced him to play violin

-parents wanted him to play piano too, but that’s when he put his foot down

-favorite genres are classical, rock, and electronica

-favorite bands are ω-3, diss-pair, and bottom feeders

-dumbass but not entirely

-if being protective of someone, he’ll kind of just glare at the person testing them and hope they stop bothering, don’t question what’s happening, or go away

-lives farther from the square and plaza unlike most of the other coroika characters

-afraid of superjumping, so he just doesn’t. he’s afraid of landing in the wrong place at the wrong time. this goes for battles and jumping around town

-owns a car and knows how to drive

-everyone asks him for a ride and he hates it

-drives everyone anyway

-does salmon run quite often

-has a lot of jackets because he hates being cold

-can and will make you wear a jacket during the winter if you’re not

-army says fuck hypothermia

-i’d say he has health insurance but i don’t think that’s even a thing in splatoon

-hates ordering stuff from resturaunts because he can’t see what they’re doing and how they’re making it, especially doesn’t trust fast food because of a bad track record and again, can’t see it most of the time

-lowkey has a fear of heights

-arachnophobe. huge arachnophobe.

-if he sees a spider he will not go anywhere near it and someone else’ll have to take care of it

-”all spiders are the same, idc if they’re venomous or not”

-use to main chargers back when he was starting out before he decided to try out the n-zap

-n-zap has been his best friend ever since

-can use other weapons, just doesn’t

-has a burning hatred for the blobobbler

-has a burning hatred for the clash blaster

-has a burning hatred for the kensa weapons

-has a burning hatred for the octobrush

-has a burning hatred for piranha pit

-make him mad during a battle and ur fucking asking for it

-can and will destroy you

-doesn’t spawn camp because that’s mean

-favorite map is sturgeon shipyard probably

-is similar to Marina in the way of him liking heavy machinery. he just finds it really fascinating

-history nerd

-knows the history of humans, or at least how inklings thought they existed

-whenever he plays on shellendorf he gets distracted by all of the neat displays and history stuff and probably ends up getting splatted

-reads a lot

-has shelves of books in his bedroom

-could make a library in his house if he wanted to but doesn’t

-has a phone and only uses it for texting

-if something goes wrong, it throws him off course, but he usually manages to collect himself

-usually has a plan, but it’s always the first thing thrown out the window

-he can recreate the cellist/fiddle parts of ω-3 and bottom feeders using his violin. it took some work to get down but he eventually got it. he likes playing the bottom feeders parts the most

-is now rank X in all modes

-idk how he uses a fuckin shooter weapon in clam blitz but he makes it work

-favorite mode is Tower Control

-if him and his team are playing rainmaker, he’s usually the one carrying it. it’s either him or forge that’ll carry the rainmaker

-he doesn’t play rainmaker as often as other modes, though. and he also always struggles to carry the rainmaker because it’s a heavy bitch

-horrible at squid beatz

-can slow dance

-doesn’t like off the hook or the squid sisters all that much

-birthday is October 29th, halloween child

-ironically doesn’t like halloween that much

i think that’s all i have

probably not, but i think that’s it

if you read all of this, congratulations, you endured deep shit

never ask me for anything ever again

i will keep adding to this list

#headcanons #army-kun #coroika

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ts-nightingaleislands · 4 years

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Episode #13- FINALE

I gotta say Im SUPERRR upset with myself right now. To be completely honest I feel like I could have won had my laptop not frozen which would have been really nice to have. What is making this worse is knowing I lost because my computer decided to freeze for 1st time ever!

This is okies though. Once I get to the end I'll just be able to stick to the narrative of things never going my way but I still persevered!

The silver lining to losing and Cheatham winning is knowing this means Sara goes. I was a little worried that if Cheatham left it keeps AMs options open. Now if he wins its gonna force her hand. I just have to promise her F2 even more and pray it convinces her NOT to do anything crazy

(LATER)

I've done some rethinking- if AnnMarie is in f4 with Sara and Austin I'd like to think it means she is not gonna try and target anyone but them. I should be safe...but I am also interested in seeing if Cheatham legit votes for Austin or not

Yeah so um...Apparently Austin leaked everything that Cheatham told him to AM and Chris yesterday so they added him to an alliance chat. But pretty sure they're also playing semi emotionally rn and not thinking straight. If AM was actually going to potentially idol Austin out before..she knows he's a clear threat. All it takes is Chris/am/cheatham to get together and hash this all out and turn on Austin. Though idk how likely it is Cheatham would do that. He's flat out told me that he knows Austin is the biggest threat yet he seems stuck like glue to him. I mean..so am I...but I don't really have a lot of other options...they all want me out...and there's no way to immunity streak. I really need Austin to stay because I truly believe he'll at least tie at f4 if we have to. Cheatham may not no matter how many times he's told that Am/Chris won't split. Or he'll vote me assuming he's winning final immunity.

I'm thinking about telling Cheatham straight up I am voting him. Its just weird because he seems to already know he is likely going so perhaps AnnMarie has already talked to him, not sure but I do feel bad even if he is voting me out

I feel like I am now sort of in a great spot because I am framing AnnMarie to be the one calling the shots but actually she is coming to me asking what to do O-O. So Operation: Wolfsheep(?) was a success! I told her to see how Sara feels about Austin/Chatham became we have to max our benefits!

(LATER)

Here we go again! Austin and AnnMarie on at the same time so lets get this party started

Hi Friends, its final five! And I wanted to quit the game again! By far the hardest immunity challenge that I've ever done and tbh it pissed me off. I lasted 3 hours and 14 minutes and for what? To fight for my life again bc I might get voted out? It pisses me off. My body is still completely sore. Anyways, My plan for this week is to convince Am to vote out either Chris or Austin, I don't care who, bc they will vote each other out if it means that they get to stay. I made a DAMN good plea to AM and it seems like it might have worked. BUT you never know. If this works out for me, Its just another thing on my resume :)

(LATER)

WELL CHANGE OF PLANS. REWIND. Austin literally just called me and told me how he got added to a F3 with AM and Chris.He told Sara about it so she wants me, him, and her to work together and get out CHRIS. AHHHH CRAZY RIGHT? Like I don't wanna work with them but it is the only thing that will get me through this week. Hopefully it works out. PEACE.

Ahhh! I feel like Dorothy in Oz right now! My yellow brick road is splitting and I don't know which path to followwwww!!! Technically AM could screw things with the idol (which she finally came clean about) but there's pros and cons to all vote options this round... Voting Cheatham this round would likely make it easier for me to win immunity. I also don't fully trust him. HOWEVER, that still leaves AM and Chris in the game together and I'm nearly certain they will vote together next round. Voting Cheatham would also keep a tad of trust with AM and hopefully she and Chris would fire Austin instead of me. But Austin is also close with Chris. Taking this path would probably leave f3 wide open and if I did somehow end up f3 with Chris/AM, I HAVE to win immunity or I'm ducked. But if that f3 did happen and I won final immunity, I'd have a much easier win than with Austin...but do I even want it easy? That's boring. You can't be the best until you win against the best. And... Voting Chris would break him from AnnMarie and we wouldn't have to worry about them trying to make finals together. Plus, Cheatham would be there next round, so maybe I could get her to vote Cheatham out next round if he isn't immune. Then in a F3 situation, I THINK both Austin/AM would take me instead of each other. But it's also a risk because I'd be leaving AM out of this vote and she may not trust me. Or can #GirlPower prevail? Did any of this make sense? And all of this lit only works if Austin doesn't plan on turning against me. If he does ..then RIP my game all together.

omg i feel im def the one going home . all my flipping and leaking info has finally caught up to me and i cant blame ppl for finding out haha. we will see what happens. tumblr survivor gods please be with me!

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3 votes Chris, 2 votes Austin.

WTF?!?! I cant believe I made it past that tribal. Thank god for sara and cheatham having my back this vote. Idk what's gonna happen next but I gotta try not damn hardest on this immunity or it could be me going home next .

Idk what my end game plan is really. Idc who I go to the end with I just wanna make it there. So I gotta convince someone to vote with me so at least if anything it will be a tie and there is a chance for me . It's been a hard game but I have loved every second of it <3

Ughhhh...I know what needs to be done this round but it's soooo hard!! As annoyed as I am with the way Austin tried playing the game, making F2's with idek how many people, he's still like the nicest kid ever and I feel bad. Like bro, you had a good enough social game...you didn't NEED to do that. He literally probably would have gotten by with it too if it wasn't for him leaking AM's idol plans back to her (literally told him he's going to get himself in trouble) and also telling AM Cheatham/I were voting Chris so she should save him to take out Cheatham. Lit, he could have been honest with me and and just voted Cheatham and I wouldn't have cared. But trying to be so sneaky and then blatantly lying to me about it is something. And that is that on that. As far as this F3 goes...I'm nervous. I'd love to win final immunity to ensure a spot in finals but really it's a double edged sword. I won like 4 or 5 individual immunities in my last game and jury apparently dragged me saying that's the only reason I made finals. I knew that was not true and hosts did too, but perception is reality. Also, winning forces me to piss off either AM or Cheatham. I really do not need that. I low-key, strategically brought up a F2 to AM at the last vote just to see if she had one with Chris to decide what last rounds best vote was. If she had one with him, I figured she'd sorta brush off mine. If she didn't, I figured she'd be all for it. Well...she didn't tell me I'm her F2 until AFTER Chris was blindsided, so we know what that means. But now..she may have taken mine seriously and be saltier than the Atlantic if I gave her 3rd. What would ultimately be best is for one of the other 2 to win immunity and convince them to take me with. Unless they already have a f2 together, I think this would be easier with AM as I could use the 'Cheatham was the Thrush underdog' and '#GirlPower' on her. But...she's just not the greatest at comps so I feel that's not an option. Cheatham might be more difficult as I know fo sho he's thirsty for a W. He's literally tried taking me out for whatever reason several times. Why would he target me instead of AM if it wasn't for threat purposes? But if he did win, my argument is gonna be that she auto has Chris' vote and literally ZERO blood on her hands with the jury. What else can I use with him? Maybe peeps like Noah rigging immunity for me at merge so that I'd stay loyal and then backstabbing anyway. Salt. OR Liam asking for a F2 (even tho it was lit during Tribal and too late to save himself) and then voting him out. More salt. Honestly though, idk if anything I say would change his mind...so throwing the comp intentionally is risky...risky af...but it could also be the difference in winning/losing. How about that novel? x)

Hello friends. I've made it again. I was hoping that I could win immunity too but I couldn't. TBH, I don't THINK I'm going home this week. Though I very well could, I just don't see it. The way I'm playing this week is how to get a F3 that will take me to F2. My target this week is Austin. Sara told me a lot of shit about Austin so I think it is pretty obvious that she wants him out. Then there is AM who is very quiet but why would she not vote Austin. Hopefully Austin goes and then boom! I'm in F3 and HAVE to win that immunity.

(LATER)

OKAY this is my ENDGAME plans. Out of the four that are left. I'm hoping that I can take AM to F2. Tbh I feel I can defiantly beat Sara and AM. Sara I feel like just wouldn't take me to the end. Austin, though I feel I can beat, also played a really good game. I'm gonna plead my case to the jury like this. I was a target every single week for pre-merge. Every time, they wanted me out. I somehow managed to bounce back each time. I was unanimously Petrels target come swap/merge and I lasted through that. I gained a lot of peoples trust which was shown in the Captaincy immunity challenge. I was the vote that decided if Rizo was to go or not. And when it came time, I told him that. I tried my best to play an honest game. I was able to get the Idol and had it for 5 rounds without anyone voting it out of me. I was able to get everyone to take out Noah because I saw him as the biggest threat in the game. For Vincents week, I somehow convinced Sara and AM that the whole thing was Vincents idea and he made me believe that I needed to vote out Sara. EVEN AFTER I literally just used an idol to get Sara out. AND convinced Vincent to come BACK to me and vote Sara out .hats pretty badass. On Chris' week, once again I decided who goes home and I picked the right way if that means that I end up in F2. Every week, I had to FIGHT to be there. That is something that I don't think a lot of people had to do. I always came close to winning immunitys, if I didn't win. And proved that I'm not only a strong social player, but also a strong comp competitor.

IM HERE IM HERE IM HERE IM FINALLY HERE!!! FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I CANT BELIEVE IT I REALLY CANT BELIEVE IT OMG. THIS IS MAKING ME LOSE MY MIND IM SO HAPPY! I never thought I would make it this far into the game, and I'm so excited for the possibility of f3. People are telling me that they're voting Austin, but it's been awfully quiet. I'm scared that the silence is a sign, but I hope that I'm just being paranoid. I'm just happy to be here.

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3 votes Austin, 1 vote AnnMarie.

well, here we are, final 3. I guess this is where my game ends. Sara just won immunity and after I plead my case and my feelings are basically crushed. She rubs a little salt in the wound by telling me a move that I messed up on. Vincent wasn't the one who told Sara and AM about the vote switch. It was Austin. It just really frustrating how this game played out. I worked my motherfucking ass off. It seems like I did it for nothing. This is my last org for hopefully a long while and I was hoping I'd get that edit of "Underdog Villain Wins the Season and Leaves the Hateful Community" and I didn't get that edit. I'm not gonna get that edit. I spent the entire first half of this game as the "Other vote" all people wanted to do was blindside me/ get me out. I had a breakdown early on in the game (def wasn't my last one) where I wanted to quit the game. The guy that I was falling in love with broke my heart, my job was chaotic, I was getting SHIT ON on discord, was doing endurance comp after endurance comp and there was no pay off, was failing my classes, was losing friendships, and all I wanted to do was quit. But I didn't and I kept going. I kept playing my ass off and it sucks to be out played. Im a sore. loser. TRUST ME I KNOW. But to come this far and still lose, it fucking sucks, Yes, this is just a game. I get it. Log off, quit, do whatever you need to do to not let it control your life. I can't DO THAT though. I love orgs! This is the kind of stuff that I always wanted to do! I have a lot of stuff to work on within myself. I know. But for right now, all I want to do is win. And I'm almost positive that its not gonna happen. I don't even think that Im gonna get POTS. Just sucks to put so much effort into something with zero pay off. Anyways. I guess I'll see y'all sometime. Much love. - The Villain

Did I just do THAT?!? Force myself to finals!? I know this sounds sappy and cheesy over an online game...but my entire life I've been really underestimated..for multiple reasons, so it feels great to be able to prove myself in any situation. No, I haven't won...but have at least dragged myself as far as you can go in this game. Now it's [semi] out of my hands. But now is the hard part... Who do I take with me!? I literally went to sleep last night wanting to take Cheatham. I woke up this morning wanting to slap myself in the face for thinking that. Now I want to take AM. The perk to taking AM is that I 100% feel that my game was superior. I also 'technically' asked her for a f2, though on my end it was more strategic as mentioned in an earlier confessional. However, I still do not like breaking F2s if avoidable. But she did also tell me she'd have taken Cheatham to finals over me so... And the perk to taking Cheatham is that I feel like he's more deserving of finals and winning (or losing) against him would feel much better than the other option. But is it worth breaking the f2, especially when AM was probably slightly more loyal to me? I know she said my name once too, but Cheatham said it multiple times AND tried to freaking idol me out! Even after all of that I was willing to work with him and saved him a couple rounds...but when is enough, enough??

Wow. I cannot believe I am finally here at the very end. This is so shocking to me. I have never gotten this far before in any game, so I am just so excited. I am so happy that Sara decided to take me with her to the end, but I know for a fact that I have a very small chance of winning this. I really need to get on track and figure out how to talk like a normal human being so I can win over the jury, any way I can. Making that video for right of passage was so pointless (although it was super fun to make). It was not what Sara and Cheatham had done. I really wish I would have done the doc to at least clarify what the hell I actually did in this game. In reality, I truly think I just played for a hell of a good time, and I had a hell of a good time, because it was a hell of a good time. You know what isn't a hell of a good time? Not being at the end with Cheatham. It would have been so fun, and I think it would be a little easier for me to talk. I think that speaking to the jury with Sara will get me a bit nervous. I am not the most articulate person, so going up against Sara concise speaking will ruin meeeee. But I will be extremely happy if Sara wins. She honestly deserves it.

Cheatham becomes the final member of the jury.

#announcement

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survivorwakea · 5 years

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Episode 7: “I just don’t think that makes sense” - Jared

Hello Elmo - welcome to your tape. We once again meet in an org. I was very excited to 1. make merge 2. to meet up with u in another org and to have the chance to work with you. However my excitement was almost immediately ruined. I asked if you want to work together and was greeted with "if our plans align". This was my first red flag of a few tonight. "If" not hey lets make our plans align nd work together, just a sort of ok sure if it swings that way. So I said that to you, we should make them align. You replied with "kk." BITCH TF DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING. And then you're all like I'm so happy you made merge you deserve this. Ok whatever I know that's just you trying to change the subject, which you do a lot when you want to avoid things hmmm. Then we start discussing HvV nd I made a joke about you maybe fucking me over here after I said I trusted you...you left me on read....so I'm not just gonna sit there and take that. I was like ok I see where I stand with you. And you're like nooo I want us to work together but also if you think you wanna vote me out because it's best for your game then don't be afraid to do that ~ and trust me I'm not scared to vote you out. I did it once before, I'll do it again. You did say that wasn't you plotting against me, and I sure as fuck hope you meant that because my dumbass does want to work with you even if right now I feel similar to how I did before and like I'm not your closest person, which really did affect us I think oops. We love having no trust in a duo. I let this go because I fully understand that hey maybe things won't work out for us in this org, although I'm really hoping they do. Then you're like hey lets guess for the idol together. Okay sounds promising doesn't it? think again. Turns out you gave your guesses to Justin and Zack. I'm glad you did tell me this though because it shows there's a little bit of trust, but I am wondering where that puts me in all of this. How close are you to Justin and Zack? I adore you and if you do feel you need to vote me out then so be it, I respect that and there wont be any hard feelings, but don't think I won't fight you for this. Hopefully I am just reading too much into things and you are wanting to work closely with me. I do pray we end up working together, I plan on trusting you more even if I do feel right now that is going to be a risk, but it's one I am willing to take. I know you're an absolute social king. I am the social queen, a king needs a queen but a queen does not need a king. Remember that.

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YEEHAW BITCHES I MADE MERGE. Been to every tribal council so far, plan on being here until the final tribal council. I'm not a threat I swear.

I made it to merge! This is very exciting considering this is my first discord game and I can sorta function on it so thats good. I've had the pleasure of hardly participating in any challenges and only going to the joint tribal where Dean was voted out. I pretty much have no real relationships in the game since I haven't had to really count on anyone in a tribal. The good news is a lot of people were messaging me last night even those who I haven't had a chance to be on a tribe with yet like Chloe and Bodhi. Well...I've played with Bodhi in several other seasons before and I'm glad I have an excuse to talk to him again but I also know how cut throat he can be. The good news is that Johnny told me that Jared along with Bodhi, Joey, and Asya would potentially work with us. This is good. As long as people are interested that should at least keep people away from voting for me. I've also been reunited with Justin. We were on our first tribe together and I thought that we could work well together. There is also Ben and Elmo. I think I've done surprisingly well and being connected with those in the tribe despite my "inactiveness". Johnny is def my number one but I also don't want our games to be the same. I also have a lot of trust in Elmo and it doesn't look like he is as well integrated or at least maybe is a little UTR too. If it looks like Johnny and I are just making the same decisions, I think people may side with Johnny. So its important that I stay alert to new opportunities and make sure that I'm looking out for myself. I think I've been playing an UTR kind of game so far and I'd like to continue doing that. If people like me or at least don't mind having me around then no one will throw out my name as a target. I submitted my video for the talent challenge and just hope that I don't get negative comments.

I MADE MERGEEEEEE FUCKING FINALLY.

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I need to rely heavily on an outside social presence, I need to keep up the fact that I’m working to ensure a heavy background role. I have a lot of ORG experience, and I often want to draw from the best players that I know, and combine most of their unique gameplay qualities. A few examples I’m going to be using is Michael mepole’s strategy for Touchy Subjects when he puts all his positive answers on much bigger targets than him in order to create a narrative and slide into the background. TJP, one of my best friends outside of games plays a game built heavily on strategy and sociability, which while I’m at my new place, is giving me more flexibility to play games and work on my one big flaw: my social game. I said previously that in this game, I have nothing to lose, and EVERYTHING to gain. Survivor is the closest thing to being a good running back in football. Some running backs like Le’Veon Bell are very patient, and wait for holes to open up so they can explode. If I can have 15% of that patience in this game, the entire season will open up BEAUTIFULLY for me. It is absolutely imperative that I make sure Jared and Johnny are the two most vocal players in our alliance, because I have more freedom than anyone else in this game, having never made merge in an ORG game(Fuck you Trevino) before, the sky is the absolute limit. I need to keep others at bay, and kind of do what Ian did: build a wall and make it nearly impossible to have a social game with me.

Just found an advantage, so im pretty much a king. thanks lov u

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i’m so annoy eeeeed

johnny really lost his vote for a legacy advantage that now serves literally no purpose so that’s sexy. now we (me, johnny, jared, bodhi, joey) have to depend on anabel and i guess lily for this vote. also they wanna kill chloe which is ugly and not what i want so like.

i know anabel doesn’t wanna kill chloe but that might just be because she’s a facebook person. anabel and myself both wanna vote lily and for some reason that’s just not translating to these people. like y’all want lily to be our extra vote but that could easily be chloe, especially when anabel is the one who can swing it in our favor and she wants lily out like.

anyways my alternate solution was just to vote out one of the facebook men. idc who. then we can get lily on board and probably chloe, and we don’t need anabels vote. like if y’all are so worried abt facebook people then what i’m saying makes sense. chloe has shown an interest in working with me and none of y’all have heard shit from the others so?

anyways i get mad when i don’t get my way so sorry for all the ugliness i know will follow after this,,,,, ur all beautiful except for stinky johnny and his stinky legacy advantage

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so this is my first tribal ever, im immune, and thats super cute and hot and everything, but u know what’s cuter and hotter?? this bitch right here is ab to do somethin crazy and perhaps stupid but it’ll provide good television!!! jared johnny bodhi joey asya and maybe lily and all want me to vote chloe and i have said that im down w that. HOWEVER, elmo justin zack chloe and ben are voting joey and they think im doing the same. im a bit conflicted rn. i am thinking i want to go w elmo bc he’s the person i trust a lot, but i really need to talk to like johnny bc he can’t vote this round, and i also trust him a lot!!! so basically we’re looking at 5 voting chloe, 5 voting joey, and then me. and whatever i do is what happens. not really quite sure if this is a good position to be in, i have 11 ppl who think im with them and that ill do whatever they say, but im not really ab that... i just rly need to talk to johnny bc he’s the person who’s gonna give me answers and insight and everything i need but he’s at WORK and this rly sucks. stay tuned for my decision LOL

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idk if i mentioned this in my last one but... the condition for me voting joey is that chloe zack justin elmo and ben have to say it was lily and NOT me. if this works im going to pee myself..

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so everyone except zack knows ab my big huge plan and if he would JUST FUCKING GET ON i would love to tell him.... i feel like all this shit is so unnecessary for the first merge vote, but they started it. so if they’re gonna be crazy, i am gonna be crazier. and that’s just the tea. putting on my big girl panties and walkin into tribal w a plan in my head, a smile on my face, and lies on my lips (wow that’s poetic)

this is copied from my thread but thats fine:

SO ANABEL SAYS TAHT SHE WANTS TO CALL! so we call and she drops a bomb that there is a big grp of tumblrs working together trying to get chloe out and im like hmm huh and she asks me not to tell anyone and im like thats fine i think that i convinced to anabel that she can flip to our side bc if she does that then joey should leave 6v5 bc johnny cannot vote i also convinced anabel to tell everyone on the other side aka FB + Ben side so now i dont have to tell them and i dont incriminate my alliance between anabel i think that if this works it would be so good for me... like even if chloe leaves i should be in a good position its much favorable if joey leaves but chloe leaving is not HORRIBLE for me that being said theres no way i would vote chloe out bc it doesnt make sense considering they are not even including me in the plan but yeah im kinda excited that my social game is snapping rn

UPDATE: i think that i got anabel to flip and i rly want chloe to stay now bc i think she'd rly wanna work w me if she gets saved. ZACK FLORES U BETTER NOT SELF VOTE OR ALL OF THIS WILL GO TO SHIT!

PRAYS TO HAWAIIAN GODS FOR THIS TO WORK.

OMGGGGG THIS IS CRAZY. queen anabel is honestly doing what i think will be the best thing for her game and informing us (me, elmo, justin, chloe, ben) what the rest of the cast is doing and voting out chloe. anabel a snake QUEEN and wants us to blame lilly after all of this and i am SO FOR THAT. i just hope anabel isnt really working with them and the other side plan on like blindsiding me or something. idk.. if joey winds up going home then this will be so good and i will love anabel so fucking much. all HAIL the snake queen! anabel legend. just pls dont be lying to me bc idk our call we just had did seem a lil quick and shit..

today i am voting out johnny. i hate the judges of the last challenge except for anna dad. anna dad is cool..

This round is crazy i wish i had recorded audio.

{ ok this is part is written today: i forgot that my confessional was so shitty last round. everything below this will be falsified confessional trying to get back into my head from last round }

So tonight chlohie should be leaving. We have majority but Joey is getting some votes too. It'll be 6-5 and joey will be safe. I would be totally shocked if Joey were to leave.

What time is it? *clap clap* it's that time where I over share my feelings in here yeehawwwwww. So going into this tribal this morning, ya girl was nervous. It was quiet. Too quiet. The first name I hear is Joey, I'm kinda like oh no I like him but he's not too active so okay. As the day progresses and I'm still not hearing anything, the alarm bells start to go off a bit. I'm trying to tell myself I'm just being over paranoid, it's okay, I am fine, it's just a simple merge vote. All of a sudden I get Anabel rushing into my messages telling me she wants to call, I'm like ok cute bonding experience I'm here for it. Ben then in my messages saying to be prepared for the shit show that Anabel is about to tell me. I can feel my pulse rising I be looking like spongebob up in this bitch just shooketh. I call Anabel. She's like sis ur being targeted. Im like you're fucking kidding. Shocked but not surprised. Asya, who I thought was my homegirl, now up in this bitch wanting to vote me. People I been talking to all day being like wow I'm nervous be wanting to vote me. And why? Am I a threat? AM I REALLY A FUCKING THREAT? I been to every tribal council yea, but at the same time I'VE BEEN TO EVERY TRIBAL COUNCIL. PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK AND STOP TARGETTING ME FOR 2 SECONDS. So where I think I stand right now - I'm working with Zack, Justin and Elmo hardcore. We have Asya, Bodhi, Joey, Lily and Jared on the other side. Then in the middle there's Ben and Anabel. But then Johnny I'm shitting myself about because I've no idea where he stands right now. If this goes to plan Joey will go home tonight instead of me. Watch yourself Asya, I thought we had each others back. You apparently just want to stab me in mine.

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just made like a pretty lengthy lowkey negative confessional. So here's a positive one. I've decided that I love Elmo again and I adore him fully as a person he makes me so so happy and I'm happy to actually have a shot at fixing out broken org relationship. He's fully one of my favouritest people I've ever met EVER. and I'm so so so happy I get to play with him again. Zack I also love so much, I feel we've never had the proper chance to connect but we kinda highkey doing it here and I want to go far with him. He always makes me smile no matter what. I just really really hope he's having fun. Justin I also love a lot, at first I was kinda unsure about him. He reminds me a lot of myself. But now I couldn't imagine this game without him. He is a strong player but I fully admire him. I'm glad I got to meet him for the first time ever in this game and I sure hope we continue to be friends even after it ends.

These 3 people make my little heart sing and although I'm not in the position I thought I would be in right now, part of me is glad. I think we're just going to be brought closer and I'm excited to see what future tribals hold for us.

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DUDE CAN WE JUST VOTE OUT CHLOE SO I CAN ACTUALLY STAY

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Joey is voted out 6-5. He becomes the first member of the jury.

#episode #sailaway

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 7 years

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Matt: are you writing that for me? No response... Matt: I could rub your neck... Or I could rub your whole back all night and for years to come Me: then I guess I could... He said... Matt: Sabrina see, I really want you to marry me. Are you ever going to? Me: I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at the situation. I'm mad because you made the wrong decision. I'm mad because you choose to live by fear. But I'm not mad at you. Sometimes when you really love someone you have to love the person. You have to understand their position. You have to understand their feelings. So if you truly love them, you have to understand that it's their place in life which rules them. You have to love them for what they can give. How cannot I love him when he tells me he gets so scared when he's driving because I've lost so much and he doesn't want me to have to lose him, too? I'm mad. I'm gonna be mad. But how could I not love him? How could I hate him because he fucks up because he cares about me. He's not hurting me. I just think if you're gonna be in the public then you should never let anything get in your way to prove and be the greatest. I can't be with him because his job and his co-workers and bla bla black sheep. The amnesia and etc. So if he's gonna do that which 100% prevents us from being together and he knows he's risking his life every Dam time he gets in that car then he should drive it like he should. Without fear. He's not scared I'm fucking some other dude. And dam I could. Idc what people think. Fat people get fucked. They get fucked good. Why is he so afraid?!?! It makes me so mad. People literally hold guns to my body. Invade my house and steal my stuff. --Mike Andrews--- and lies to the entire police force where I live that I'm a terrible person that doesn't deserve to live. I risked everything. I got bit in the ass. But I'll do it again. I don't care. My police force knows me and stands behind and they stood beside me during the whole search warrant on my house. They knew it was bull shit. They even talked shit about Mike while he was in my house taking pictures of my toilet seat. Literally. Not a joke. Well Mike is a joke but... If they didn't stand behind me 100% and love me. I would still do what I've done and won't quit. Luckily they love me so I can love them back. I like that. That I can love them. But if I couldn't trust them. I would do it again. I just don't have any reason to I needed help with my amnesia and no one was helping me. Dejoria kept getting in my way. So what I did caused an FBI agent from my childhood that I could trust to come here. With Mike. It took me a really really long time to know it was him and stuff... Like we just did it again the other day. Like what he had told me and etc etc Because we did have a few moments alone. I needed help and I couldn't get any. So I got it. I trust in God too much. And Matt I think just doesn't enough. I have lost alot. I had amnesia but I lived in constant fear something would happen to Annabelle. I would cry when I dropped her off at school. In the second grade, I still did it. It got so bad I had to have her father do it. So. I know. I know it can be scary. My daughter needed time with her dad. She didn't know the divorce was coming and she missed him. But him taking her to school... She grew to hate it and him. So it was okay. Plus I always took her late to school and it caused her problems. So her father took her. Now she's home schooled 100% because she doesn't like the way classrooms are designed and how the teacher is always yelling at the few lazy idiots (Cruz) and class clowns or kids too smart that they get bored and do bad shit (Jesse) The only time I worry about Matt at the races is Jesse doing something to him. Any other time I think that God holds him in his hands pretty well. And I think that anytime something happens there's a lesson in it Like when his car blew up a few years ago. I know why. It's fine. I know that God doesn't like Jesse ... I mean what he did. Jesse ... He broke into our house when I was 2 months old. Raped me and threw me in the dumpster because he hated that I was an infant. He hated god. He hated that God said he needed to grow up some. He had to grow before he truly deserved his soulmate. So because Jesse said he didn't want me. Matt was born. Then Jesse killed the babies and everyone I knew and loved. So I know God isn't going to take Matt. And if something happens... Like Dejoria, she got hurt cause her relationship with God. But Matt is only gonna get hurt because our relationship or his relationship with God. And himself So I know he won't. Dejoria moved the wheel and slammed into the wall and broke he pelvis. If Matt's car was tampered then God would make a sound or a flash of light or the sun would move or a cloud. And Matt will be okay because he won't notice the car turning and he will hit it broadside And I'll find out what happened and then someone is gonna pay for it God is pretty cool sometimes. But God knows how much I've lost. That's why Matt holds it so closely to him. Why it makes him sad. So God isn't going to hurt me. He doesn't want to He's not someone who wants to hurt people He doesn't want hell or prison. Or to hurt people. It took Jesse to fuck dejoria's car for Dejoria to get her hip broke Probably cause he's a bit lazy and knew that Jesse would eventually set it up. Because he knows I will get mad. God isn't stupid. He knows what to do. That's why he made Matt. That's what I know. I've known all my life that he loves me. Matt does. I knew Matt loved me when I thought god hated me. Truly believed that I was a bad person and God hated me. I knew Matt loved me. So how could god not love me, too?

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