#i would say im pragmatic but honestly im kind of just lazy... the work/life balance of academic is not something i could survive

[033h]

WHEN i remember that i was/am smart enough to go into academia and could literally be doing a PhD in something I’m genuinely passionate about and could be actively contributing to the field but instead chose to do something that seemed easier but is boring... i pretend i do not see it.

#this is literally high school me debating art school all over again #i would say im pragmatic but honestly im kind of just lazy... the work/life balance of academic is not something i could survive #well like i could but i wouldnt be me anymore... but maybe sacrificing a version of myself would be worth it #i guess ill probably never know :-) #how can i not have a 'career' and still be having a crisis about it. quarter life crisis. #i envy the passionate people in my program tbh that could not be me. i hate contributing i just want to think about nuance and poke holes