#i wrote this a while ago but its still the biggest mood | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

taeyamayang · 2 years

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okay pea, you got me 😔 i saw your event and kept meaning to enter it but i have remembered now and i am HERE for it 😤

(also wow i am just in awe of your writing skills and the ability you have to do this stuff consistently, i could NEVER you are so impressive 😩)

anywho, as i am requesting it looks like a drabble slot is open so that is what i would like 🤲 and the character i would like is Oikawa

plot is as follows (bit of personal rant incoming -sorry- it shouldn't be anything overly triggering, but worry about the future incoming)

i just graduated high school a little over a month ago (🥳) and while i am so excited to get out into the world i am also TERRIFIED and i have super high expectations for myself, none of which are being met and it's definitely hurting my self-esteem and self-worth. i look up to people like oikawa bc even though they struggle to get to where they want to be in life, they still seem to have direction, y'know? i have vauge ideas of what i want to do, but even those i can't reach immediately due to personal circumstances (mainly my mental health) and it's really starting to bother me.

so if i could have a scenario where oikawa and reader are just talking and he's able to reassure her that it's okay to take her time to figure out things and that she doesn't have to be out there being productive and at the top of her game 100% of the time for people to love and care about her?

(i also don't care if it's written romantic or platonic, but i am the world's biggest sucker for slow-burn friends-to-lovers so platonic with romantic undertones (if that makes sense) is just 😩👌👌👌)

hope this wasn't too long xoxo

take care of yourself pea, and i hope we can start chatting again like we used to :) 💞💞💞

ahhhh i was sooo thrilled to receive an entry from you! i am more than glad to be able to write for you :) i hope this makes you feel better and sorry for the delay! i made sure to finish all matchups first before doing the others. i will send you asks again so we can start chatting! i miss ya, hope you're doing well :)

ps: barely edited. i wrote this past midnight lmao goodnight

Perched right below an old century tree and on top of the hill overlooking the humble prefecture, the stretch of land with ant-like residents going by their day makes you feel insignificant. You are but a small percentage of the population. Your actions and decisions in life barely make any difference, you know that for sure, and yet you are worried of being aimless and useless.

"I got you both vanilla and chocolate 'cause I don't know what mood you are in right now. I remember you telling me before that the flavor you prefer varies in your mood," Oikawa notices his words quickly passing through your ears. A light scowl is on your forehead as you stare at the field below the hill. He asks, sitting next to you. "You okay?"

The slight bump of his arm against your skin snaps you back to reality. Right, it's summer after high school graduation. Oikawa and you had a silly deal of meeting each other every Wednesday at the start of summer. Why wednesday, you ask? The pretty boy argued that wednesday is the dullest day of the week and the only way to keep his energy up throughout the week is to meet you. It would have sounded romantic if only you're not best friends with him.

"I am thinking of strawberry or caramel." You give him a monotonous reply just to tease him but it turns out he failed to catch on your stunt as he instantly hurries to get on his feet.

"Oh, okay. I'll get that for you."

"No, Tooru." You stop him from getting up, a soft smile finally makes its way to your lips. "I was kidding. Vanilla or chocolate sounds good."

"You sure?" He cocks an eyebrow and you nod in reply. As he sits back comfortably on the dry grass, handing you the ice cream, without missing a beat, he questions. "Why the long face? Is there something wrong?"

"You're perceptive, aren't you?" That's one of the many things why Oikawa has you wrapped around his fingers. Many may know him as a great volleyball player but only a few gets to witness this side of him. He isn't selfish like how some would assume him to be, in fact he's the most selfless person you have met. He puts his concerns aside when he senses that the people closest to him are in a trouble state.

"We've known each other for years. It's easy to read you. I can do it with my eyes closed." He prides hence making you chuckle.

"Really? Do it." And Oikawa does it. He shuts his lids and turn his body to face you. His free hand lands on your shoulder then on top of your head. He mutters, "You are thinking of something... something very important. Am I right? I should be." His lids unravels and your eyes met with his'. A gentle smile pulls the corners of his mouth before he ruffles your hair. "Say it or forever hold your peace." He says, eyes darting to your ice cream cone. "And your ice cream is melting."

Your hand straightens your unruly hair before unwrapping the paper around the ice cream cone. In a hushed voice you asked. "How are you always so sure of what you want despite facing downfalls?"

"Downfalls? Like what?" His eyes wandering on the land below the hill.

"Like losing to Karasuno in the tournament. You have always wanted to win the nationals but you graduated without reaching your goal."

"Ouch." He dramatically cuts you off by clutching on to his chest.

"But you are back on your feet, unwavered by your defeat. How do you do that? How do you know which step to take after a loss?"

"Do you know what I do?" Oikawa side-eyes you, licking the remains of ice cream on his bottom lip. "Come, face me."

You oblige. You turn your body to face him and his tender eyes land on you. In your plain of sight you can't help but notice how beautiful he is. The soft rays of sunlight touching the ridges of his face and the gentle blow of the wind carrying the strands of his hair into a graceful piroutte compliments the breathtaking view on the hilltop. How wonderful it is to love a person as entrancing as him.

His fingertips lightly grazes on the skin on the side of your face as his hand tucks your hair behind your ear. He touches you like a vulnerable piece of art and he looks at you like a memento from the past. His mouth stretches into a reassuring smile, eyes never leaving you before bringing his hand to your forehead. And unexpectedly he flicks your forehead without mercy resulting you to tip your head back.

"Aw!" You rub the spot where his finger landed.

"I stop that. I stop my brain from overthinking the past; it is something I can't undo so why dwell on it? There are countless circumstances where in things don't go as planned, you know that, and in those moments I feel lost. I don't always know what to do next, who does anyway? But I am certain of one thing, volleyball. I know I want to continue playing but what comes out of it is still a mystery to me. We can't plan everything and expect everything to come true. You will only get disappointed if you think that way. Likewise, if you expect yourself to know everything all at once and be productive every single damned day, you will miss living life. Living life doesn't only mean planning and reaching your goals, it also means wednesdays and ice creams. If you look far ahead in the future, you will miss the joy of the present. Like how you're hanging out with a very handsome boy who is the best in volleyball, and how your ice cream tastes good." Without consent, he takes a big bite on your ice cream.

"Hm, that is delicious. I should get that next time." He finishes his rant by licking the softened ice cream on the cone he is holding. Opening up to a person has always been a struggle for you and often times you feel ashamed of letting someone into the corners of your disorderly thoughts; but with him, you're glad you let him break your walls.

As a revenge you take a bite on his ice cream hence taking him by surprise of the proximity between you the two of you. As you pull back to savor the sweetness of the sugar and cream and grinning at him triumphly like a kid. However, you catch a sight of a stock-still Oikawa.

"W-what?" You asks and he looks at you with wide eyes. His cheeks are powdered in light pink.

"I had a crazy thought." He replies.

"What is it?"

"I bit your ice cream and you did the same to me." He blinks once, brows meeting in the center.

"And?"

"That means we indirectly kissed." His statement sent your saliva to your windpipe rendering you to choke. Instantly, you feel the warmth of your body travel to your face and you're completely a mess in front of your friend. He has no idea how long you have been pinning on him and for him to say those words without a warning is cruel to your fragile heart.

You indirectly kissed him.

He didn't need to point it out. But holy shit you kissed him. Indirectly. That's the closest you can get to-

"Are you okay? I should buy a bottle water."

"I'm okay." You hold him down but still keeping your eyes away from him.

"You sure?" He asks and you stick out a thumb in response.

Once you have recovered from coughing your lungs out, you jokingly say, "If that's an indirect kiss then you took my first kiss."

"I don't mind taking your second." His smooth talk has you gripping on your emotional stability again. By instinct, you smack him on his shoulder. It is strong enough to topple the ice cream in his grip. Only the cone is left in his hand.

"My ice cream!" Oikawa screams peering at his food on the grass. "Why did you do that?!"

"You deserve it!" You scream back. Your hand gripping tightly around the cone it could almost break.

"I deserve it?!" He repeats your words, baffled as to why you made such claims.

"Y-you're clueless and I hate you for it!" You stutter between screams. Biting the insides of your cheeks, you pull yourself up to stand.

"You hate me?! Where are you going?!" He looks at you with a confused face.

"To buy a bottled water!" You stomp your way past him and he follows you through his eyes.

"I'll come with you." Before he is up on his feet you turn around to point at him. An expression Oikawa isn't sure of is plastered on your face. You are angry, he can tell that by the scowl on your forehead, but your entire face is crimson red not from anger but from something else.

"No! Stay there! Here, take my ice cream." You shove the cone to his chest and without much choice he takes it.

"I don't know what's going on. Why does this feel like a love quarrel from a famous romcom."

He mocks a line from the said movie, thus, sending more butterflies in your stomach. "Come on, babe, let's fix this."

"S-stop!" You gag.

"Oh, you don't like 'babe' as a term of endearment? How about love? Come here, my love. Sit with me and let's talk it through." He shoots a wink coupled with playful yet mischievous smile.

"You are so dumb! I-I..." You stutter and he fills in.

"You love me?"

"I hate you!" You finally storm out squeezing your cheeks with your palms.

"Our wednesday isn't over yet! Come back when you have cooled down." You hear him chuckle from a distance.

That's the thing being friends with the person you secretly have feelings for. He has no idea of the effect he has on you. The more so you are convinced not to confess. The chance of ruining your friendship with him is far greater than the opposite. There's no way Oikawa has feelings for you. He only sees you as a friend and it has always been that way. For now, you are contented of loving him from a far.

Maybe wednesdays with him is enough.

slow buuuurn omg i miss writing slow burns gsnsbsns not so fun fact, my previous works (the ones written before i made this blog) are all slow burns and it made me miss my old works!!

masterlist | hq.list

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #hq oikawa #hq fanfic #hq romance #hq oneshot #hq drabbles #oikawa fic #oikawa tooru #oikawa x you #oikawa x y/n #oikawa oneshot #pea.writes

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tobeheldjpg · 4 years

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please just kiss me until i cant think

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lousyxlassie · 3 years

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Uhm hello? I LOVE THE OHE U WROTE FOR ME. I COULDNT STOP SMILING KWMWKWJW IF U EVER STOP WRITING IMMA WIWJWIWWJEJJEJEJ YOU TO ANTARCTICA. ok ok sorry I’ll calm down now. Could you maybe do one with gojo nanami toji and basically they get into a fight with the reader, basically what its like fighting with them and then making up again :) THANK U AHHHH

𝙵𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 / 𝙼𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚄𝚙 𝚆𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙹𝙹𝙺 𝙼𝚎𝚗

𝙵𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚝: 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚗

𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐(𝚜): 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚊 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝, 𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙, 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚜, 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚋𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚘𝚡𝚒𝚌 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚏𝚏, 𝙽𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚒 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚊𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚣𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: 𝙶𝚘𝚓𝚘𝚞, 𝙽𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚒, 𝚃𝚘𝚓𝚒

𝙰/𝙽: 𝚊𝚑𝚑𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞... 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝙸 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎!! 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚗𝚎!

➪ "really?"

➪ you stared at your partner in shock, unable to believe the words that just came out of his mouth

➪ the two of you were going back and forth, teasing and taunting each other relentlessly

➪ it was meant to be harmless banter

➪ until Satoru brought up one of your biggest insecurities

➪ you had opened up to him about it not long ago during a late night conversation

➪ so for him to use it against you hurt more than anything else

➪ "I... I didn't mean it" he breathed

➪ any sense of playfulness had left, and tension filled the air

➪ he looked down at you apologetically as you clenched your jaw, trying your best to hold back your anger

➪ for all your efforts though, the pained expression you had could not be hidden

➪ "I'm sorry," he whispered, pulling you close to his chest, "I'll never bring it up again"

➪ the look on his face was completely genuine – it was the first time you'd ever seen him so serious

➪ you huffed as you let him hold you

➪ you did forgive him, but it would take a while for him to fully make it up to you

➪ "I'm just saying it'd be nice for you not to be so stoic all the time," you stated, folding your arms across your chest, "lighten up a bit"

➪ Kento narrowed his eyes and cocked a brow, "lighten up?"

➪ he walked past you as he loosened his tie, completely avoiding eye contact

➪ "yes!" you turned around and followed him into the bedroom, "you know, I feel like you're not happy to be with me sometimes"

➪ it was hard sometimes to read your partner's mood, and it didn't help that he always had that same pissed off look

➪ he unbuttoned his blazer and shrugged it off as he turned to look back at you

➪ "what makes you think I'm not happy with you?"

➪ "well," you started, stepping closer to him, "you never smile, in fact I don't think I've ever seen you smile once"

➪ that seemed to stop Nanami in his tracks, you could tell by the way he was still holding his blazer

➪ "so because I don't smile, that equates to me being unhappy with you," he said, "in your mind, of course"

➪ you nodded your head slowly, "well, yeah, it feels like I'm doing something wrong – like I'm not good enough"

➪ hearing your words made Nanami sigh as he extended his arm, taking your hand in his

➪ "you're more than enough for me," he whispered as he raised your hand to his lips, kissing the back of it lightly, "please don't ever think otherwise"

➪ that one, simple gesture made your heart swell, and you found that you no longer cared if he smiled or not

➪ because he always showed his appreciation for you in other ways

➪ it had been almost six weeks since you'd last seen or heard from Toji

➪ so when he showed up on your doorstep unannounced, you were rightfully pissed

➪ "what do you want?" you asked through clenched teeth

➪ "I missed you" Toji stated matter-of-factly

➪ you rolled your eyes, "you have an interesting way of showing it"

➪ he hadn't returned any of your calls or texts, and to make it worse, he had left early in the morning without saying goodbye

➪ "I know, and I'm sorry," he said, his voice low "I shouldn't have left like that"

➪ "you should've called, Toji" you spat, "instead of leaving me in the dark for six weeks"

➪ his promise was no more than two weeks, and he'd call or message you at least once a day

➪ it was a promise that he'd broke immeasurably

➪ he shook his head and looked away, unable to meet your fierce gaze

➪ "I know, just..." he paused as he forced his eyes to connect with yours, "just let me in, I promise I won't do that to you again"

➪ you scoffed and moved back, preparing to shut the door on him

➪ the door stopped just before the frame, and you looked down to see that Toji's foot had stopped it

➪ he placed his palm against the wood and pushed slowly, careful not to hurt you

➪ "please," he begged, his voice sounding almost breathless

➪ you let out a defeated sigh as you took a step back, giving him room to enter, "fine"

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk headcanons #jjk oneshot #jjk imagines #jjk angst #gojo satoru #jjk gojo #gojo angst #gojo x reader #nanami kento #jjk nanami #nanami angst #nanami x reader #toji fushiguro #jjk toji #toji angst #toji x reader

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mercurygguk · 4 years

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bleeding for you | jjk

genre; angst, fluff

pairing; EMT!jungkook x female reader

✎ summary; In which it’s just another quiet night at the fire station until there’s an alarmingly serious car accident not far away. Jungkook is the first on the scene along with his partner, Namjoon. What meets Jungkook at the scene of the accident is worse than anything he could ever imagine.

word count; 3,367

based on a request by anon; It's a Jungkook au, where he's a EMT & they get a call for a very serious accident. When he arrives on scene he sees a very familiar car. A hand dangles from the shattered window, the engagement ring he'd slipped on your finger not two months ago mocking him. I envision a happy ending, but if you want, do with it what you will.

warnings; Descriptions of car accidents, mentions of bruises and blood, jungkook’s crying a whole lot, i’m sorry if this is tough on your heart bc it definitely was on mine, phew

a/n; I LOVED THIS IDEA FROM ANON, SO THANK YOU ANON and let’s be honest here, paramedic/EMT!jungkook is lowkey hotttt. Also, I took some inspiration from the tv-show Chicago Fire and some from Grey’s Anatomy because those are the only shows I’ve actually watched with things related to this kind of scenario, lol. I hope you like it, enjoy!

ps. it’s heavily unedited and i wrote this rather quickly, so please ignore if you spot anything hehe

The clock ticks on the wall and there are sounds of cars passing by once in a while outside on the street. Jungkook is staring silently at the TV in the staff room, his eyes focused on the ball that moves around between the football players. He’s bored, sighing deeply to himself as he drops his head back against the back of the couch he’s currently slouching on. Namjoon, Jungkook’s partner, plops down beside him, a sandwich on a plate for him to eat for dinner. He looks happily at his sandwich, more than excited to bite into it and finally getting a chance to continue reading his book for once.

Jungkook hates quiet nights at the firestation. He despises them. It makes him think of all the other things he could be doing instead – an example being at home, in bed with you; his fiancé. A title you recently had gained after Jungkook finally got the courage to get down on one knee for you, asking you to be his for the rest of his life. Just the thought of the happiness he felt that night made butterflies erupt in his stomach, suddenly daydreaming about your smile and the way you always manage to make him feel like he’s floating on a pink cloud. He’s totally whipped, but only for you.

His daydream is quickly interrupted by the sound of Namjoon chewing his sandwich loudly, making Jungkook glare at him with disgust. Namjoon, the charming person that he is, looks back at Jungkook in confusion.

“What?” Namjoon blurts with his mouth filled with a bite of his disgusting sandwich. Jungkook shakes his head at him, turning back to the boring game that’s unfolding on the TV. He really hates quiet nights.

After half an hour and still nothing, Jungkook groans and gets up from the couch to wander around, causing Namjoon to look at him again with tired eyes. “What’s going on, Jeon?” He asks, flipping a page in his psychology novel.

“Nothing’s going on,” Jungkook grumbles, tired of just sitting around, “absolutely nothing.”

Namjoon is about to tell Jungkook to sit down and relax for once but the alarm beats him to it, sounding loudly throughout the entire fire station. “Squad 3, truck 81 and 82, ambo 65, 78 and 32 – bigger car crash on the 5th highway, multiple victims,” Taehyung from the alarm center's voice booms throughout the fire station’s rooms. Jungkook’s eyes widen and so do Namjoon’s. They’re quick to move, book, sandwich and football match long forgotten as they run to their unit. Jungkook jumps in the driver’s seat, buckling up faster than ever. His partner is fast to join him and buckling up as Jungkook speeds out of the garage at the fire station and onto the road. Jungkook’s focused, eyebrow knitted together in concentration and the urge to do what he does the best – save some lives.

The highway is chaotic once Jungkook and Namjoon arrive as the first ones at the scene, multiple cars lying around – on the hood, on the side and some crushed to the point of where it’s not even a car anymore. It looks worse than anything they have ever experienced and it’s slightly terrifying but they’re headstrong as they grab their medical bags and run off to a random car each. Squad 3 and the firetrucks pull up not long after Jungkook and Namjoon’s arrival, all of them getting out quickly and getting to work, trying to see if they can save all victims or just the majority of them.

The first car Jungkook reaches is empty, the driver of it luckily managed to get himself out before any sort of rescue arrived. He seems fine, his car almost not even scratched. “Sir, are you alright?” Jungkook asks, doing his job in making sure the man is alright before continuing to another car. The man nods, waving a hand at Jungkook.

“Please go see some of the others, I’m fine!” He almost sobs, clearly traumatized by the car accident.

Jungkook nods at that, giving him one last look all over before heading on to the next car. He looks around in his haste to get to the next one, stopping abruptly in his tracks as he spots a familiar looking car. It can’t be, he thinks to himself as he turns to look at the car properly. His chest tightens at the thought, feeling himself hastily moving closer to the car as tears begin to form in his eyes. It doesn’t occur to him until a hand dangling from the window catches his attention as he gets closer, the diamond ring confirming his worst fear.

“No, no, no!” Jungkook shouts in a mix of terror, anger and his heart breaking into a million pieces, tears already falling from his eyes as he runs up to the car, his hands trembling. Pain shoots through him at the sight of you, body limp and unconscious, face battered in bruises and wounds and there’s blood on your beautiful, white shirt and he prays to God that isn’t yours but who is he even trying to fool? Of course, it’s yours. “No, please, no!”

From the other side of the highway, Namjoon spots Jungkook scrambling towards the car that he, too, finds awfully familiar. His eyes widen at the sight as realisation hits him.

“Shit!” He hisses, making sure the victim he’s treating is okay before running towards Jungkook, heart beating a hundred miles per hour. All he can think about is getting his partner away from the car which is lying on its side. “Kook!”

Namjoon has to pull harder than he expected as he reaches Jungkook. He isn’t willing to let go of the car, hands reaching for your unconscious body that is still, thankfully, buckled up in the driver’s seat. You hear nothing of Jungkook’s cries as he’s pulled away by his partner and best friend. “____! Baby, please wake up, please!”

The sight in front of them is nothing but a real life nightmare, the scene only a fear of Jungkook’s until tonight. Namjoon has no idea how to calm his partner down as he pulls him away. His heart is breaking at the sound of Jungkook’s sobs, his chest heaving for air as he looks at the broken car, which was nicely parked in the parking lot of his and yours apartment building when he left for work this morning. He watches it being pulled apart to reach you, the EMTs of Ambo 78 tending to your wounds and body, trying their best to support you until they get you to the hospital.

They lift you into the ambulance, Jungkook’s body working automatically as he tries to jump into the back of the ambulance and ride with you to make sure that they’re taking care of you the right way. This isn’t just another victim, it’s you, Jeon Jungkook’s fiancé. Namjoon holds him back, using all his strength because a sad, terrified Jungkook is stronger than he ever could’ve imagined.

“Hyung, please, I need to go with her!” Jungkook cries, glancing quickly at the man holding him back, before looking back at the ambulance you’re now in. They close the doors, hurriedly getting in the front and speed off. “For fuck’s sake, Namjoon, let me go!”

Namjoon shakes his head, “I need you to calm down first, Kook. You’re not thinking clearly.”

Jungkook thinks that’s the biggest load of bullshit he’s ever heard. He whirls around, not in the mood for his best friend’s psychology shit. “I swear, I will punch you,” he sneers, eyes watery and cheeks stricken with tears. Namjoon stares back at him, lips in a tight line and eyes wide because he has never seen Jungkook so out of it before. “How am I supposed to calm down when my fucking fiancé is a victim of one of the biggest car crashes we’ve ever witnessed, huh? She’s hurt and unconscious in the back of one of OUR ambulances right now, Joon. Don’t fucking tell me to calm down.”

Despite his harsh words, Namjoon feels sorry for Jungkook. He nods, putting his hands up in surrender. Jungkook breathes out, chest heavy with a feeling he can’t quite describe. He just knows that he doesn’t want to waste another second here, the only place he wants to be is by your side until you wake up and tell him you’re okay.

“At least let me drive you to the hospital?” Namjoon offers, voice hesitant and cautious as he gestures to their ambulance.

Jungkook sniffs, nodding, “please.”

The ride to the hospital is quiet, tense too. Jungkook is staring straight ahead and not moving, just letting the tears in his eyes fall until he has none left. He’s pretty sure the drive to the hospital usually isn't this long. He feels like he’s been on this ride with Namjoon for hours when really, it has only been at least 15 minutes. 15 minutes too long, he thinks to himself. He could’ve been with you right now, holding your hand while you get sutured up and stitched back to perfection – at least what Jungkook thinks is perfection. However, you’d never agree on that.

Namjoon doesn’t get to say anything before Jungkook’s out of the passenger seat of the ambulance, his body moving almost before Namjoon had parked it. He doesn’t notice anything around him, heading straight for the front desk to ask about your status. The nurse there looks at him with a face that says she’s sorry without even saying the words. Jungkook doesn’t need those words, there’s nothing to be sorry for. People only say they’re sorry when something really bad happens, and as far as Jungkook knows, you’re still alive. You have to be. He hasn’t married you yet.

“My fiancé was brought here not long ago, her name is ____,” Jungkook hurriedly asks, the nurse working quickly to type into her computer. Jungkook taps his foot against the floor in impatience.

“She’s in surgery at the moment,” the nurse says softly, watching as Jungkook’s breath hitches in his throat at the news. Namjoon comes up beside him, laying a hand on his shoulder. “The doctors will find you once they’re done.”

Namjoon nods in appreciation to the nurse, Jungkook stares at nothing in particular, scared he’ll break down in the middle of the entrance of the hospital he so often visits because of his job. “We’ll wait over there,” he tells the nurse, tugging Jungkook along. “Let’s go, Kook.”

Jungkook follows along, sitting down in a seat with Namjoon beside him. He feels like he should be calling his family and yours, yet he can’t think straight and his head is empty for words right now. The only thing on his mind is you and the fact that you’re at risk of dying. He has no idea how serious your injuries are but they’re serious enough to land you on the surgery table. His breathing is short, eyes staring at the floor and ears focusing on the sound of the opening and closing of the doors to the surgery halls. He feels alone even though Namjoon is sitting right beside him, he feels helpless, he feels like he’s been left in the dark. He knows nothing about what’s happening to you and it’s driving him absolutely crazy. The thought of losing you brings a new round of tears to his eyes, lips trembling as he fights to keep his sobs inside and not break down in the middle of other people. It’s like Namjoon senses as he gets up, pulling his phone from his pocket. He moves a bit away from Jungkook, speed dialling the only person he knows will be able to comfort his best friend in the slightest.

Jungkook’s wandering the waiting area, hands tightly intertwined in front of his lips and eyes closed as he walks back and forth in front of Namjoon. It has been at least three hours and his nerves aren’t exactly becoming less the longer it takes for the surgeons to give him some kind of news – any kind would be appreciated by now. He stills as a hand comes to rest against his back, gentle touch that can only belong to one person on this planet. He turns around to face her, her eyes softening at the sight of his red eyes and wet eyelashes.

“Mom,” he croaks out, a sob raking through his body as he crumbles into her embrace.

“Oh, sweetheart,” she coos, wrapping her arms around his tall frame, hugging her sweet, heartbroken son to her chest in the hopes of comforting him just the tiniest bit. They stay like that for a few minutes until Jungkook’s mother breaks the embrace, holding him at arm's length. “I’m sure she will be fine, Jungkook. She’s a strong woman.”

He sniffles, feeling slightly better at his mother’s words. He offers a small, the tiniest, smile. She smiles softly and comfortingly at him, reaching up to wipe his tears away. “You have to be strong too, sweetheart. She needs you to be strong for her.”

Jungkook nods and whispers lowly: “I know, mom.”

“Mr. Jeon?” A voice calls. Jungkook, his mother, and Namjoon whips around to face the doctor who called Jungkook’s name. “Miss ____ is out of surgery. We were able to fix her injuries and she is up for recovery now.”

Jungkook lets out a sigh of relief, feeling a heavy weight disappearing from his shoulders. The doctor offers him a warm smile. “She will be in the ICU for at least a couple of days until we see some progress. You can go see her, she is in room 248.”

“Thank you so much,” Jungkook says with the utmost gratitude and a smile as he shakes the doctor’s hand before grabbing his things and heading in the direction of the ICU.

He finds the room without any problems, pausing just outside of the door. His mother and Namjoon both stand behind him, watching him in silence. They’re not pushing him, letting him do this on his own, letting him prepare for whatever he’s about to meet behind this door. He inhales and holds his breath before pushing the door open and heading inside. The sound of the monitor beeping is the first thing that meets him, what meets him next causes him to gasp softly in horror. This must be what it feels like to live out your nightmare and biggest fears, he thinks to himself as he moves closer to your body that’s lying unconsciously on the bed. It seems his tears are never-ending today as he pulls a seat to the side of the bed, sitting down with his eyes trained on you.

He looks you over, wincing lightly at the sight of tubes and IVs attached to you. There are scratches and wounds on your body, your skin beaten up from the harsh car crash you so unluckily ended up in earlier. He’s hesitant as he reaches for your hand, being more than careful as he intertwines his hand with yours. You don’t squeeze his hand like you always do and it makes him realize that you are in fact unconscious and probably not aware of the entire situation right now.

Jungkook scans your face, lips trembling and fingers shaking as he reaches up to move your hair out of your face. There’s scratches on your pretty face too, a big patch on the right side of your forehead where they stitched you up. He’s hurting, not quite as much as you, as he looks at you. You’re still gorgeous, even like this.

“I love you so much, ____,” Jungkook whispers, bringing your hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your ring-clad hand. “Please be okay.”

Days have passed since the accident, and you still haven’t opened your eyes. Jungkook is becoming impatient, sitting here and waiting is killing him slowly. His mother had left in the morning after being with him throughout the first night. Jungkook had called your family while his mother held his hand. He will never forget the way a sob raked through your mother’s body as he told her what had happened. They were here now; your mother, your father and your brother, Yoongi. Your parents sit on either side of you, Jungkook’s resting against the wall at the end of the bed, Yoongi sitting in the chair beside him. The silence is almost unbearable but no one dares speaking, afraid of nothing in particular – perhaps the chances of you crashing right in front of all of them.

Jungkook’s done crying. He doesn’t think he has any tears left in him, only this heavy feeling of regret even though he has nothing to regret. No matter what, he couldn’t have stopped this from happening. Why you were out driving that late is still a mystery to him, but he’s not sure he wants to know. He has a feeling it will tear him apart knowing the reason.

Your dad jerks up from his resting posture causing everyone to widen their eyes at him. “S-she squeezed my hand,” he almost whispers. Jungkook’s breathing quickens, eyes staring at your closed ones. He waits, anticipating the worst. Your eyes flutter, a small crease forming in your forehead as you try to adjust to the lights in the room. He sighs in relief for what feels like the hundredth time, feeling the tears coming back. Okay, he isn’t quite done yet.

“Jungkook?!” You croak out, trying to sit up. Jungkook feels his heart breaking at the tone in your voice. You sound confused, slightly shaken up and sad. He’s quick to be at your side, taking over from your father. His hand grabs yours, fingers intertwining automatically. “Kook,” you whimper, clearly not fully awake from your deep days long slumber.

“I’m here, baby” he softly calls, searching your eyes with his own, “I’m right here.”

You look at him, eyes locking and you feel yourself calm down already. Jungkook notices the unshed tears in your hazy eyes. “Where am I?” You ask, voice small.

“The hospital,” he explains, keeping his voice low and soft for you as you just woke up from a long, long nap. “You were in an accident, ____. Do you remember what happened?”

You shake your head, wincing at the movement. Your entire body is sore, hurting everywhere and you want to cry. You just want to cry and hug Jungkook tightly because that’s the only place you feel safe and happy, in his arms.

“How long?” You speak a bit louder now, still not registering your entire family standing around the two of you. You’re in your own little world, your focus only aimed at the curly-haired man in front of you. Your mom is watching you closely, letting a small tear slip down her cheek as she takes in the moment of you and Jungkook. Your father is right beside her, rubbing her arms in comfort. Yoongi is watching too, smiling to himself because he doesn’t think his younger sister could’ve found anyone more fit for her than Jeon Jungkook.

“Only a few days,” Jungkook answers, bringing your intertwined hands to his chest. His heart is beating hard and fast causing you to gasp. He smiles at you as you look up at him, eyes wide.

You move to press your other hand to his chest, resting it above his heart. “Are you okay?”

Jungkook can’t help but chuckle. Even when you’re the one hurting, you ask him if he’s okay just because his heart is beating a bit faster than it usually does. He nods, smiling softly at you, eyes twinkling with fresh tears once again.

“I’m fine,” he whispers, leaning closer to press his lips to your forehead in a lingering kiss. “Just really relieved.”

You smile at his words, only imagining how worried he must’ve been the past few days if you’ve been in this bed and unconscious. “I love you, Kook.”

Jungkook chokes out a laugh, “I love you too baby, more than anything.”

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redriotdynamite · 3 years

Text

Happier ~ Bakugou X Reader

TRIGGER WARNING:

ANGST

DEPRESSION

BREAKUP

SAD

HEARTBREAK

FIGHTING

I wrote this last night as I listened to Happier by Olivia Rodrigo. I'm not sure if I'm happy with how I ended this as I was high on ambien lol but yeah it is what it is. enjoy! ~ Brooke

We broke up a month ago, your friends aren’t mine, you know, I know you’ve moved on, Found someone new

One month. The longest month I had ever lived through. It was pure agony. Watching you walk through the halls at school, joking to your friends, acting like you could care less. I mean what did I expect from the school's biggest asshole. But you weren’t one to me, were you? You were sweet and loving. I don’t understand how you could just turn that off. That’s what hurts the most right now. I pull myself together every morning hoping its easier but it never is. This pity, anger and sadness is ripping through my heart leaving a softball sized hole in its wake. And I’m worried that I'll never be able to fix it.

One more girl who brings out the better in you, and I thought my heart was attached, for all the sunlight of our past, but she’s so sweet, she’s so pretty, does she mean you forgot about me?

I was standing by my locker the first time I saw her and you. You were walking my way, arm wrapped around her shoulders. My eyes met yours for a moment before you smirked. The same smirk you used to give me when you were teasing me. But this time there was this look in your eye that I couldn’t place. It only lasted for a second before you looked away and that’s when I saw her. Blonde hair, long legs, big brown eyes that could take your breath away...they did mine. She was gorgeous. Camie is her name, right? It makes sense. She smiles brightly at me as if she doesn’t know that I used to stand where she stood. I’m not sure who I feel worse for, me or her. Will you do to her what you did to me?

Oh, I hope you’re happy but not like how you were with me, I’m selfish, I know, I can’t let you go, so find someone great but don’t find no one better, I hope your happy but don’t be happier

Was it wrong of me to stare? To wish that I was her? It made it worse knowing how it felt to feel your lips against mine, how you would always grip my hand when the school halls got full. That’s what eats me alive inside. It hurts so bad that I feel like I won't recover. How am I supposed to let you go? Do you even think of me at all anymore? Do you see me when you glance at me in the halls? Or do I blend in with the nameless faces that you don’t care to learn? I want to scream, yell at you. Demand why. Why did you do this to us? What did I do? And now here you are a month later with someone new. Are you doing it to hurt me? Or is she just another toy to you?

And do you tell her she’s the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen? An eternal love bullshit you know you’ll never mean, remember when I believed you meant it when you said it first to me? And now I’m picking her apart, like cutting her down make you miss my wretched heart. But she’s beautiful, she looks kind, she probably gives you butterflies.

I saw you two today. School had let out early due to practical exams. I was headed to my favorite book shop when I saw you both sitting at a table at the café next door. Your hair was ruffling through the breeze and I swear I could smell your cologne. I miss that. How it used to engulf me and make me feel safe. You would wrap your arms around me and I was home. You had the same smug and irritated look on your face that you always have. I could tell you were talking; I think she wanted to show you something. She pulled her bag from her lap to take something out but suddenly a coffee cup was knocked over, spilling coffee everywhere. I was expecting you to freak out, get mad, scream and call her a dumb ass like you used to do when I would mess up. But you didn’t. You smiled at her and reassured her it was okay, while helping her clean it up. After, I guess the mood had shifted. I could tell she was still upset. She stood up after a few minutes to get a refill but she was stopped when you pulled her down into your lap and poked at her cheeks. You whispered something in her ear that made her smile. I turned away when I saw you tickle her sides and laugh along when she giggled. That was the worst, because I knew in that moment that this wasn’t for show. This was real for you and her. I'd never forget us and what we had but I could let you go be happy. That's all I ever wanted for you.

I hope you’re happy, but not like how you were with me. I’m selfish, I know, I can’t let you go. So, find someone great but don’t find no one better. I hope you’re happy, I wish you all the best, really. Say you love her, baby, just not like how you loved me. And think of me fondly when your hands are on her. I hope you’re happy, but don’t be happier

I’m trying hard to keep my distance from you. She doesn’t deserve it and I know you probably don’t want me around. I can’t help it. I'm drawn to you. But I know I have to let you go. You need to be happy, to live and be free. So just promise me that you’ll think of me. That’ll you remember how we laughed so much that one night our sides were sore the next day. Remember our first kiss under the stars in the park, how it felt, how you said my lips tasted like strawberries. Don’t forget that. It keeps our love and what we had alive. Knowing that is the only way I'll ever be able to get through this. The only way I'll ever be able to let you go. Maybe in time it’ll get easier. Maybe I could see you and smile one day, remembering what we had and maybe it won’t hurt. It’ll feel bitter sweet. Because I'll know that I helped you find who you were meant to be with.

I hope you’re happy, just not like how you were with me. I’m selfish, I know, can’t let you go. So, find someone great, don’t find no one better. I hope you’re happy, but don’t be happier

#mha #my hero academia #bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #angst #sad #fanfiction #story #oneshot #canon #katsuki #kachan #camie #mha camie

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vampiredecay · 3 years

Note

Can I request a Star x Female reader where she meets someone at the Boardwalk that she really likes, like they have been meeting up for awhile and wants to introduce them to the boys in order to join their little family? <3

OKAY so this was so cute that i kind of completely ran away with it lmao. i really hope you like it!! i wrote it in stars pov i hope thats okay.

Crescent Moon Earrings

rating: everyone

word count: 1,804

tags/warnings: its all fluff my dudes, star x female!reader, female pronouns used, stars pov

---

Nights like these weren't new for Star. Wandering the boardwalk, either with Laddie or the boys, getting lost in the sea of humanity, looking for a good time or a good meal. The moon was bright and full, and she could feel the pull in her skin, making her sway with the weightlessness of it. Laddie was clinging to her hand, leading her nowhere in particular. Stars' eyes glanced around her, watching the families and couples and tourists buzz around, happy and carefree. It made her a little bit hungry.

However, before she could be pulled too far, something caught her eye. Or, rather, someone, standing at a clothing stand, looking over the ridiculously priced items at hand.

The young woman browsing was beautiful. Her expression was content, focused on a particular dress that caught her eye. She looked at the price tag, and cringed, her eyebrows furrowing and mouth tipping down. Star thought it was really cute.

Laddie was tugging at her hand, confused at what she was looking at. "Star?" he asked, and she looked down at him for a second. The brunette squeezed his hand and smiled reassuringly. When she looked back over to the girl, she was walking away from the shop.

"Come on, Laddie." Star said, quickly walking in the direction the girl went.

The human stopped eventually, in front of another shop, this time for jewelry. Star slowed down, biting her lip. She turned to Laddie and kneeled in front of him, asking "Can you stay here for me, love? I need to do something." The boy nodded, giving her a big smile. Star thanked him, giving him a quick hug before turning back to the jewelry stand. Thankfully, the girl was still there, looking at an earring display and thumbing her ear.

Star walked over calmly, looking over the girl's shoulder, seeing a pair of crescent moon earrings in her hand. She smiled, "Those would look great on you."

The young woman jumped slightly, turning around and almost bumping right into Star. When she realized that it was Star who was behind her, and how close they were, she giggled shyly and backed up. "Oh- thank you!" The human looked back at the jewelry in her hand. "I've been thinking about piercing my ears for a while, I've seen stands around here."

Star shook her head at the mention of the cheap piercing stands. "They're a rip off." When the girl looks disappointed, Stars quick to amend with "If you want your ears pierced, I'll do it."

She giggled again, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "That'd be nice, thank you…" She paused, and the brunette realized that she was asking for her name.

"Star," She stated, holding out her hand to shake. The girl smiled sweetly and took it. "Star." She repeated, and the way she said it made Star giddy, "I like Star. I'm Y/N."

Star couldn't help but let out her own giggle, rambling just a tad, "Y/N.. Y/N's good, I like Y/N."

There was a pause, and they were smiling at each other, but then a familiar ache came crawling into the vampires stomach, and she sighed a little.

"I have to go… I'm taking care of my little brother," Star looked behind her, and was relieved that Laddie was still standing and waiting, "But if you want, I'm going to be here tomorrow. We can pierce your ears then."

Y/N looked thoughtful, playing with the earrings still in her hand and chewing on her lip. After a few seconds, she nodded. "Okay, maybe we can meet back here?"

Star couldn't keep the biggest smile off her face, nodding enthusiastically. "Can't wait!"

When Star finally tore herself away from Y/N, she collected Laddie from his spot, swinging their linked arms and skipping. Laddie was laughing, enjoying Star's good mood. He had an idea of what was making Star so happy, and he hoped that it would work out for her.

____

The next night went well, it went really well. Star pierced Y/N's ears, and put in those moon earrings, and she really did look beautiful in them. After that, they decided to hang out the rest of the night, walking and chatting and getting to know each other. Y/N was funny and charming and absolutely radiant. When they had to say goodbye, and Star had asked if she'd like to meet up again, Y/N didn't hesitate to say yes. If Star's heart could still beat, she bet that it would be pounding loud in her chest.

____

The rest of the week, Star spent with Y/N, and she knew that the boys were starting to get suspicious. There were only so many excuses that she could make, before they would start to know that something else was going on. She knew that Dwayne tried asking Laddie about it, but the boy was a saint and just shrugged.

Star had entertained the idea of letting the boys meet her, maybe test and see if she was ready. There were a lot of worries in her head, because she knew that their… lifestyle wasn't for everyone, but Star also knew that she liked Y/N so much, and the easiest way, the best way for them to work out was for her to turn.

So, Star came up with a plan. She would formally introduce Laddie to her first, warm her up to the idea of seeing her family more. If Y/N took to Laddie, Star would soon introduce the rest of her family, her boys.

When the day came that she met up with Y/N, Laddie in tow, the humans eyes lit up and she smiled.

"Hey! You're Laddie, right?" Y/N asked him directly, and he beamed and nodded. The boy offered her his hand to shake, and said "It's nice to meet you Y/N. Star talks about you all the time."

Star stuttered, eyes wide, but before she could defend herself the human laughed brightly and shook his hand. "All good things, I hope!"

Then Y/N looked at Star with a hint of a smirk and mischievous eyes, and any arguments fell out of Stars head at that moment.

After that, the three of them hung out all night. Y/N took Laddie on rides and bought him ice cream, and even won him a small dinosaur plush. It reminded her so much of how the boys took care of Laddie, especially Dwayne, and it made Star's heart ache with affection. Maybe this could work out, maybe Y/N could make a new addition to their family.

Towards the end of the night, Y/N was insistent that they go on the ferris wheel at least once. Star agreed, but Laddie said he wanted to stay behind.

"Are you sure?" Star asked, and the little vampire agreed. "Yeah, I wanna sit down here."

The brunette thought that was strange, but she didn't argue. The two girls paid for the tickets to ride and they were shown to a little two seat cart. It was a bit of a squeeze, and Star and Y/N were pressed up against each other as the ride started.

They talked a little as their cart slowly made it to the top. The stars were shining brightly, you could see the waves crashing on the beach nearby, the few remaining people walking the boardwalk looked like little ants. The only other time Star got this view was when she was flying.

There was a moment of silence, then Star heard Y/N's voice ask, a little timidly, "Star?"

The vampire looked at the human. "Yes?" she replied, and grew a little concerned at the look on Y/N's face. Maybe it turned out she was afraid of heights?

"What's wro-"

Before she could finish her question, soft hands were cupping her face, and suddenly she could feel warmth on her skin, and Y/N's chapped lips pressed against hers, a gentle pressure that Star didn't know how to process.

Y/N pulled away when Star failed to respond, she could hear the thundering of her human heart, but before the fear of rejection could settle into Y/N, Star quickly pulled her back into another kiss. She squeaked in surprise, making Star giggle against her lips. They both pulled away this time, and the cart started to climb back down.

Yeah, Star was praying for this to work.

____

It was a few nights later when David finally cornered Star at the hotel, arms crossed and looking serious. She was honestly surprised that it had taken this long to confront her, but it didn't make her any less nervous.

"Alright Star, I've been plenty patient, but will you please tell us what's going on?"

She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. Star supposed this was it, it was time to see if her plan would work out in the long run.

"I just…". She started, then trailed off, before taking a deep breath and gained the courage to say, "I've met someone."

The reaction from everyone was immediate, save Laddie, who already knew everything.

"You what?!" Paul shouted, running over and slamming into David's back. David bit back a growl as he glared at Paul. "Since when? Who is he? He got a name? Details, Star!"

Marko and Dwayne quickly joined the party, just as eager to hear about this mysterious person that Star met. If they didn't meet up to standard, there'd be hell to pay.

Star smiled at Paul's enthusiasm, raising an eyebrow. "Well, for starters, her name is Y/N. We met a little bit ago. She's lovely, I care about her a lot."

There was silence as the boys processed what Star had told them. She knew that it didn't have anything to do with your gender, they were just protective of their pack, their family, so her meeting anyone made them want to think about it. She would feel the same if it was one of them who had a special someone outside of them.

Finally, David spoke up again. "We need to meet her." There was an edge of finality in his statement, leaving no room for argument. The rest of the boys nodded amongst themselves in agreement.

"I know." Star replied, knowing that whether Y/N would be turned or not, they would need to meet her. "But please don't scare her off, okay?"

Marko snorted a bit, probably about to say something snarky, but Dwayne beat him to the punch. "We won't.”

Star sighed and nodded her head. Well, it was now or never. She just hoped that Y/N could bite what they were offering her to chew.

#the lost boys #babyloutattoo89 #the lost boys 1987 #the lost boys x reader #the lost boys star #the lost boys star x reader #star x reader #female!reader #lost boys fics #decay fic tag #requested

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official-weasley · 3 years

Text

It's Positive (The Irreplaceable Charlie Weasley AU)

Warnings: nothing but fluff

Word count: 3,051

Characters: Charlie Weasley and my OC Nova from TICW which you can find here

A/N: Okay, so! I want to clear the confusion that some of you might have. Specifically, those of you who have read my TICW and know about something that happens in Part 8.

After I wrote the alternative ending my mind went crazy realizing that the story doesn't have to end now but I stuck to it anyway. I had some of you in my private messages asking me to continue the story with chapter and parts but I didn't envision it like that, sorry.

However! I did start getting one-shots ideas a few weeks back that are basically stories from their lives in the alternative ending. So because I miss Nova and that version of Charlie so so much and I can't help myself and is honestly keeping me from writing anything else I decided to create an Alternative Ending AU where I would have the liberty to write stories about different events in their lives.

This one is happening a few weeks after the Sanctuary was attacked by Death Eaters. I will try to keep the timeline as clear as possible and try not to jump up and down a lot. Keep in mind that Nova is safe and sound in the alternative universe.

There will be no stories before this point - meaning no more school days for them but everything from this point on.

I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Oh, it's good to have Nova back. 🥺💙

Charlie

“I can't believe we did it.” The biggest grin painted Andrei's face. “I mean, the trees are still burned, but it's better and in time for your wedding too.”

“It took quite some time but I didn't have the slightest doubt that we wouldn't restore the Reserve.” I bestowed him with a smile.

“It's never going to be the same is it?” Andrei asked after a few seconds of silence.

“No.” I shook my head slightly, the smile disappearing from my face. “Listen, Andrei, are you sure you are okay with us having the wedding here?”

“Of course! Why would I mind?” Andrei's brows furrowed. “You needed long enough to arrange everything.” He joked.

“Yeah.” I forced a laugh. “You know what I mean. The events that happened here not even 3 weeks ago are still leaving a bitter taste in a lot of people's mouths. We lost a lot of people. I don't want to rub it in everybody's faces how happy Nova and I are.”

“Charlie,” Andrei turned to me slightly, putting a hand on my shoulder, “that is exactly what everybody needs. Love brings people together and it gives them hope. You have been at the healing station and you have helped me out the most, so you know that we need something positive.”

“You sound like Felix.” My lips curved a little.

“Yeah, that won't go away anytime soon.” Andrei shook his head and looked at the ground trying to hide the fact that tears gathered in his eyes.

“Andrei, if you ever need anything... you know that Nova and I are here for you. I don't know what I would do if I lost...” I bit my lip, stopping myself from saying anything else.

Just the thought of something happening to Nova or me losing her like Andrei lost Felix, broke something in me.

“I know.” He gave out a small smile. “You two are my closest friends here and one of the few who knew about me and Felix.”

“One more reason for you to come knocking on our door when you need some company.” I pulled him into a hug despite him being my boss and us never doing that before. I knew he needed one even though he would never admit to it.

“So,” Andrei gestured for us to start walking towards the cottages, “what do you two have planned once you get married?”

“We barely planned the wedding and you are asking me that?” I chuckled.

“Are we going to see any fiery-haired little Weasleys running around?” His face beamed.

“Oh, no!” I shook my head quickly. “We're not that fast. We want to enjoy our marriage before we start working on having little Weasleys.”

“Whatever you say.” Andrei sighed, pretending to be disappointed as we stopped in front of my home.

“You'll be begging me to not make you babysit so be careful what you wish for!” I giggled.

“How is Nova feeling, by the way? Any better?”

“She has been fine for two days now but she said that she'll stay in for a couple of days more just to be sure the stomach bug is really gone,” I explained.

“That's great news. Say hi to her for me and I'll see you tomorrow, Charlie.” Andrei waved and started walking away.

“Nova?” I called her name as I stepped through the door.

I took off my shoes and listened for movement to find out in which room she was.

“Love? Are you still sleeping?” I checked the clock on our kitchen wall. It was a little past 11, there was no way she was still in bed even though she never was a morning person.

“Bath...room.” I heard her say before she flushed the toilet.

“Are you alright?” I knocked on the door and pressed my ear on it, concern in my voice.

“No.” She whispered. “It's back.” She gagged and I could hear her pushing the toilet lid back up.

“Can I come in?” I asked gently, frowning.

I was getting more concerned each day. While I was out and about helping Andrei and the others after the Sanctuary attack, Nova has been spending most of her time in our bathroom. When the Death Eaters fled, we were both sent to the healing station for a check-up despite Nova saving us both with that protection spell. They deemed us healthy with minor scratches and I feel completely fine. Nova, however...

“Yeah.”

I slowly opened the door when she granted me access. She was leaning over the toilet. One hand wrapped around her hair to hold it back, the other hand hugging the toilet.

“Nova, you have to stop being stubborn and let me take you to the healers.” I couldn't hide the firmness in my voice.

“I'm fine.” She swung her hand.

“You have been spending more time with that toilet than with me.”

“You jealous?” She tried to chuckle but pushed her head closer to the toilet again and I jumped to her to hold her hair.

“Please, love. This isn't normal. A stomach bug doesn't take this long.” I pleaded.

She kept saying that she has the stomach flu and at the beginning, I thought so too. But she didn't have any other symptoms besides vomiting every morning.

“What else could it be?” She asked weakly, after flushing yet again.

“I am no expert in these matters, that's why I am begging you to go see a healer. Our wedding is less than 14 days away. If you won't be alright by then we are canceling the whole thing!” I tried threatening her but a mocking smile gave me away.

“Less than 14 days away?” Nova didn't react to my threat at all in the way she usually does.

Usually, she rolls her eyes and lifts one of her brows, and gazes at me with her arms crossed over her chest until I tell her that I'm joking. Now, her face lost all its color and her eyes widened as if the most terrifying creature was standing behind me.

“What date is it?” She asked, panic in her voice.

“27th,” I answered, puzzled.

“Twenty...” Nova's jaw dropped before leaning over the toilet again.

“Oh, no, no, no, no!” She got up, flushing again, and exited the bathroom.

“Nova, what is going on?” I rushed after her and stopped when I saw her pacing around the coffee table in our living room, her hands in her hair.

“I think I know what's wrong with me.” She said more to herself than to me.

“Love, you can't just diagnose yourself with something,” I said calmly, trying not to irritate her as she seemed to be seconds away from a panic attack.

“No, Char, listen to me!” She entwined out fingers, brought us to the sofa, and sat us down.

“Okay, I'm listening.” I brushed a lock of hair off her face.

“I...” Before she could continue, she put her hand over her mouth, looking green again.

“Should we rather have this conversation in the bathroom?”

“I think that would be better.” She nodded and before I could help her up, she was already running.

“Okay, so what do you think you have?” I asked, brushing her hair back after she was done.

“I don't want to say.” She was biting her lip nervously, us kneeling in front of the toilet.

“Love, we have been best friends since we were 11 and we celebrated our 5th anniversary in May and you can't tell me something?” I chuckled, trying to brighten up the mood.

“May!” She gasped and her eyes widened again. “Our anniversary!”

“Nova,” I blinked at her confusingly, “you have to give me more details. What is going on? What about our anniversary?”

“Okay,” she took a deep breath and waited for a second just to see if she will have to vomit again, “do you remember what we did after a very romantic dinner?”

“Yeah.” My cheeks turned scarlet, reminiscing on the moment.

“Do you remember what we usually do before we do that?” Nova pressed her lips together.

“We use the protection spell.” I nodded.

“Mhm, yeah, so...” Nova scratched the back of her head. “...do you remember how we could barely keep a conversation up in that restaurant because we didn't have the time to have sex for like 14 days and we couldn't wait to get home and once we did we were so caught up in the moment that we forgot something?” She squinted her eyes, her cheeks burning.

“Forgot someth...” Before I could ask what she was trying to say, my eyes mimicked hers from before. “No!” I said incredulously.

Nova nodded and hummed.

“No, we can't be. You can't be. It was one time!” I was pretty sure I was getting green in the face now.

“It's a possibility,” Nova mumbled. “This stomach bug of mine could be morning sickness.”

“I...” I suddenly forgot how to speak. “But it was one time.”

“Char, it doesn't need more than one time to get pregnant.” Nova giggled.

“So what do we do now?” I tried hiding the fact that I was getting more nervous by the minute.

“Well, I think that now I actually have to listen to you and go to the healer.” I tilted my head at Nova.

How was she so calm? This was huge! If she really is pregnant and we're going to have a baby...

I blinked. I didn't know how I feel about this. Ever since we first talked about having a family it has been our secret guilty pleasure. We both want a family and move somewhere where it would be safer to raise the kids but we want that in a few years. We are not prepared to have a baby!

“Let's go then.” I offered her my hand.

“Now?” Nova glimpsed at the toilet.

“Should we wait for another hour, just to make sure you're done for the day?”

“Yes, please.” Nova gave out a sheepish smile.

—

“Well, if you are vomiting and feeling nauseous every morning and your period is late and you forgot to use the protection spell, it's pretty safe to say that you're pregnant.”

Madam Finch had a slight smirk on her face saying that. The second Nova felt better we went to the healing station and found her at once.

“But, how can we be sure?” Nova asked.

“Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do for you here. We don't have any equipment like that, since we are in the middle of a Dragon Sanctuary. I am afraid you will have to go to St Mungo's or go to a Muggle drug store to get a pregnancy test.”

“A pregnancy test?” I furrowed my brows. “How does that work?”

“It's a plastic stick on which Nova would pee and if the window displaying the result would have a plus in it she is pregnant and if it would have a minus she's not pregnant.” Madam Finch replied.

“And how reliable are these tests?” Nova wanted to know.

“If your period is late and you think you conceived in May it would be about 99% reliable.”

Nova and I looked at each other and nodded. I knew she had the same idea as I did. We need to get to a drug store at once.

We walked to the Sanctuary gates in silence. Nova was biting her lip and looking at the ground, while I tried to calm down my nerves. It was obvious that we felt too awkward talking about this because we were both afraid of what the other person would say. I didn't want to tell her that I'm nervous, I needed to be there for her and appear strong even though I was pretty sure that the same thoughts were crossing her mind.

The second we walked outside the gates, we locked arms and apparated to the nearest Muggle town. Nova spotted the store and grabbed my hand, dragging me behind her. She tried hard to appear as if she wasn't trying to rush this but I knew she wanted to get it over as soon as possible.

“There are so many of them. How are we supposed to choose?” Nova's eyes were scanning all the different boxes, while she was biting the inner side of her cheek.

“Which one does seem the most reliable to you?” I tried helping her even though I had zero experience when it came to this.

“I wish my mum was here,” Nova whispered and I was pretty sure I wasn't supposed to hear that.

I bowed my head. I felt so useless. She was nervous trying to find out if she had a baby in her belly and I was just standing next to her, helpless. I wish this would happen when we were more ready and I wish I was more knowledgeable about this so I could advise her.

“I'm sorry I am so helpless.” I put my hand on the small of her back. “What?” She looked away from the boxes and locked eyes with me.

“I feel so useless. I should be able to help you with this.” I pointed at the boxes.

“Char, stop it, now. I am as clueless as you are about this stuff and you don't see me apologizing to myself. We are going to manage just fine! We are in this together.” She bestowed me with the biggest reassuring smile, grabbed my hand, and pressed it hard against her chest.

“You're right.” I nodded and turned my head to the shelf with the boxes. “How about this one? It says that it's quick and 99.9% reliable.” I took the box and showed it to her.

“Sounds good to me. Let's take it!”

—

“I am so nervous, I can't believe I was able to pee!” Nova exclaimed as she came out of the bathroom, her eyes on the pregnancy test in her hand.

“I am proud of you for peeing, love.” I gestured for her to sit down on the sofa next to me.

She put the stick on the coffee table and positioned herself in my arms. I tightened the grip on her as much as possible because I knew how much it calms her down. I took a deep breath, neither of us taking our eyes off the test.

“So,” Nova swallowed hard, “we didn't talk about how we feel about this.”

“About what?” I kissed the top of her head.

“About how we would feel if a plus shows in that little circle.”

There was a moment of silence. I could feel Nova's heartbeat against my arm.

“Well, we didn't plan this,” I said carefully. I knew she was nervous but I didn't know what she was hoping for.

“Yeah.” Was all she replied.

“And we aren't even married.”

“Yeah.” “And we said we wanted to enjoy being married to one another for a few years before we start a family.”

“Yup.” Nova nodded.

“And we wanted to find a nice cozy home where we could envision us raising our little rascals.”

“That we did.”

“And we are currently at war.”

“Mhm,” Nova mumbled.

“It's the worst possible time to have a baby.”

“Yeah, I couldn't agree with you more.”

“But how I wish that we would get a plus.”

“Me too.”

Nova shifted in my arms and we both sighed in relief when we saw the biggest grins painting our faces.

“I know it's not ideal but is it ever the right time to have a kid?” Nova pressed her lips hard on mine.

“Is it okay if I say that I don't care when the right time is? I am so excited to see the result, hoping that we're pregnant that I can't think of anything else.” I admitted.

The second we started staring at that test and I thought to myself that I hope we are having a baby I forgot about all our worries.

Was the timing good? No. But do I think we are ready to have a family? Yes. We might not know everything and we have a lot to learn but every parent is clueless at the beginning, right? If Nova got pregnant in May, we have quite some time to learn all the necessary things for us to be great parents.

“I feel the same. I want to have a baby with you, Char.” Her voice was so soft and her eyes were so hopeful that I couldn't stand it anymore.

I gently pushed her away and kneeled in front of the coffee table, trying not to peak at the test.

“Has it been 2 minutes yet?”

“I think so.” Nova kneeled next to me, her eyes going from the clock on the wall to the test.

“Should we turn it around?” I put my arm around her shoulder and kissed her forehead.

“Let's do it together.”

We grabbed the pregnancy test, one on each side, and turned it around.

“What does it say?” Nova asked.

“I don't know. I have my eyes closed!” I giggled.

“Me too!” Nova started laughing.

“Okay, we both look in three, two, one!”

We both opened our eyes, our gaze on the little circle in the middle of the stick.

“Love...” I whispered.

“It's positive.” Nova breathed.

“We're having a baby?” “We're having a baby!” Nova exclaimed, picked up the pregnancy test, and brought it so close to her face that it was almost touching her nose.

“We're going to be parents!” I helped her get up and we started jumping up and down around the living room.

“We're pregnant, Char!” She crushed into me, giving me the tightest hug. “And we're not even married.” She looked up at me, trying to see my reaction.

I couldn't stop smiling. Her being so happy and excited about it and me wanting to have a family with her ever since we got together, made this moment so perfect. I pressed a kiss on her forehead and one on each of her cheeks before I cupped her face and kissed her tenderly.

Before I could enjoy our pleasantly surprising news more, a thought came to mind and my eyes widened as Nova's did before.

“My mum's going to kill us.”

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bookstantrash · 3 years

Text

A/N: Sorry, I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t. Ghost mode is officially dead. It was stronger than me.

I will, however, disappear from tumblr once Release Week begins, but in the mean time enjoy some words that I wrote.

In which she makes a friend, Part Seven

“Cassian, for Cauldron’ sake, stop with your fidgeting”

“I am not fidgeting, Azriel” Cassian said, eyeing the females training and making sure that Devlon was at least trying to teach them.

“You almost blinded me with your wings three times in the last ten minutes” the Shadowsinger huffed back, taking a step back and putting some distance between them.

Cassian just snorted but did check himself, realising he really was flaring his wings a little, a nervous tick that came out whenever he was distressed with something.

Not that he was recalling his conversation with Nesta during training yesterday, how he had been delighted to see her improvement and her beginning to master her powers.

Not that he was remembering how he could hear her heart beating quickly when he had pulled her close.

Not that he had had to muster every ounce of strength and control he had to not fall at her feet and beg for a kiss, for a touch, for anything when he smelled her scent.

Not that he had felt guilty of not telling her of the Illyrian revolution that was probable to happen.

Not that he was remembering how his heart had stopped when he asked her if she wanted to leave.

He would do that. Would help her walk away. From him, from the situation Feyre had forced upon her. But it didn’t mean it would not hurt him to watch her go.

Didn’t mean he would not reach the conclusion that he had failed her once again.

Cassian thought he and Nesta were making progress, but after yesterday he stopped trying to convince himself of that.

Things between them were awkward when they saw each other again at the afternoon training with Kaelin, and for once he was grateful for the boy’s constant chattering.

It was a good way to take his mind of his worries.

And the way Nesta seemed to relax and almost smile whenever Kaelin said something or nailed move was a relief to Cassian’s troubled heart. It was an accidental blessing that he cherished with all his life.

No, Cassian preferred to think that his actual state of mind was due to all the new documents and information he would have to go through after Azriel’s arrival, and maybe a little bit worried of how Nesta’s and Azriel’s encounter would go.

He knew her and his brother were not close — he had never even seen they talking to one another — but Cassian worried that Azriel’s presence may bring forth uncomfortable memories of the rest of the IC to Nesta, neither having the best relationship, specially after that party at the Sidra in summer solstice.

Cassian could only hope and pray that the little progress he had seen Nesta go through in five months would not go down the drain.

“There are more females today” Azriel noted, taking Cassian out of his daydreaming.

“There are” he looked over the training ring, eyeing the small group of eleven Illyrian females.

It was the biggest number he’d ever had so far.

After the war with Hybern, the death of many Illyrians took its tool in the ranks. Although it was a reason for dissatisfaction to arise, it was surprising to see a number of females wanting to train. Many had lost fathers, brothers or lovers.

They had realised that nobody would protect them except themselves now, and slowly the number of females appearing had gotten bigger.

Some came and stayed only for a few self defence classes. Some were coming steadily for more than one session.

Cassian didn’t care if they wanted to be warriors or not. The fact that they were coming and wanted to learn was enough for him.

“Baby steps Cassian” he thought, hope blooming on his chest for the first time in a long while as Devlon dismissed the group, for once having taught them with more attention.

Cassian suspected Azriel’s presence was a weight on the camp lord’s mind, and an undesirable reminder to try this time.

“I’ve to stop somewhere first before we go back” Cassian said to the shadowsinger, who watched Devlon leave the training ring without a glance in their direction.

Azriel only shrugged, not minding the delay at dinner and indicating that he’d accompany Cassian.

Not long after, both Illyrians were entering a clothier, the bell in the door chiming and announcing their presence.

“Look who decided to pay a visit”

“Now, did the oh so ruthless Emerie miss me?” Cassian smirked, leaning against the polished counter where Emerie was.

“It was not me who was left for two months alone in a cabin” she retorted, her brown eyes twinkling with wicked delight seeing Cassian’s shocked expression.

“You know—”

“Yes I know Nesta, she was here not so long ago for tea” the female answered, as if Nesta going out and having tea with Illyrians was nothing out of the ordinary.

“How—”

“If she did not tell you of our encounter, I don’t think I should be the one to explain the particulars of our meeting” Emerie cut him again, raising an eyebrow in question.

Cassian was baffled.

“Since when had Nesta befriended Illyrans?” he thought to himself, having mixed feelings about it.

In one hand, he was happy she was putting herself out there, meeting people, living.

On the other hand, he felt a pang of jealousy and hurt go through his heart. Nesta had not told him any of that. Had not bothered to tell him of what she did on her spare time outside the morning and evenings trainings with him.

“But did you give her a reason to trust you?” Cassian thought with regret “Did you ask about her day? Did you tell her about yours?”

Trust was an one way road. And Cassian had lost the map which would direct him to it.

He also had to put himself out there. He had to open himself to Nesta if he wanted to mend their already tethered relationship.

Cassian had to stop being afraid of hurting his heart again when he had already hurt hers.

And he realised that not even another heartbreak would be enough to keep himself away from Nesta.

“But I take you did not come here to chat with me” Emerie said, eyeing Azriel, who was looking at her with curiosity.

“Not this time. But do invite me for tea” he grinned, trying to gather his lost swagger “The weather is about to change. I would like to purchase some clothes before autumn ends”

“The usual?” she asked, returning her sharp gaze to Cassian’s face.

“Today is light shopping,” he answered, dropping some coins on the counter.

Azriel shot him a puzzled look, but Emerie understood him just fine.

She gathered some clothes, and Cassian noticed that she also placed small sized ones too.

Emerie no doubt knew about Kaelin.

And she knew that Cassian would not let the kid go through autumn and then winter with hand me downs and fixed clothes, no matter how good of a seamstress Nesta was.

If Azriel noticed the clothes, he didn’t let it show.

Cassian also thought his brother was too busy inspecting Emerie to noticed anything else.

It had surprised him too the first time.

A female with a will strong enough to fight to be the sole owner of a shop in a place like Illyria.

Emerie had a fire that reminded him of Nesta. No wonder both females had somehow found their way to each other.

“Oh, please put this too” Cassian said, and quickly grabbed a leather strap he had spied on one of the shelves.

“Have you lost another one? I swear, you go through this things as if they’re water” Emerie ruffed, placing it with the rest of the order.

“It’s not for me.”

“Thinking of gifting it to Nesta?” Azriel said with a chuckle “Tell her to braid her hair with it?”

“As if Cassian was stupid enough to gift it to a Lady to tie her hair with” Emerie snapped, and Cassian laughed at the shocked expression on Azriel’s face “He knows her better than you think he does.”

“Charming as ever Emerie” Cassian said, gathering his purchase and bidding the female goodbye.

This time, Cassian didn’t fail to notice how his brother’ shadows were agitated.

And how they kept trying to go back to the clothier.

~•~

Cassian stopped breathing. Stopped living altogether as he looked at Nesta.

Nesta, who was sitting on the couch, reading.

He didn’t even have a mind to say how she did not light the fireplace, not as he saw what she wearing.

Because Nesta Archeron was not wearing one of her usual dresses.

She was wearing the clothes Cassian had left in her drawer all those months ago, when she had first arrived at Illyria. Clothes he not seen her ever wearing.

Until today.

Cassian had seen Nesta wearing pants. Hell, he saw her almost everyday now wearing the leathers, and his reaction at their first training was not so different as to when he had seen her at the war.

He had to constantly remind himself to breath and think with his upper head. To not make a fool out of himself.

But this time it was different.

Because Nesta was wearing leggings.

Mother’s tits, what had he been thinking when he left those leggings in her drawer?

Nesta wore dark leggings and a burgundy sweater, a little big on her due to her still too thin figure, something Cassian hoped to change.

And her hair. Cauldron, her hair was not on its usual coronet, but a loose braid, a few strands of her light hair falling over her eyes.

Cassian wanted to brush them behind her pointed ear.

Wanted to kiss and mark her slim neck. Feel her pulse under her soft skin.

Wanted to cover her body with his wings and scream at Azriel to leave.

But he did none of that. He willed his body and his temper to behave, and cleared his throat, making Nesta look up from her book.

Even though he was sure she had been monitoring their every breaths as soon as they arrived at the cabin.

“Hello Ness, did you have a pleasant day?” he tried, wanting to test her mood.

“I was having one until someone decided to disturb it” she answered, but Cassian noticed she did not put so much bite in her words as she did when she truly was annoyed “And don’t call me that”

“Well, I come bearing presents” doing a mocking bow and bracing himself for the worst, he looked at Azriel.

The shadowsinger’ Siphons gleamed, and a brown package appeared on the small table in front of Nesta.

“What is that”

A memory of a conversation during Winter Solstice, outside among the snow, resurfaced, and Cassian quickly shut it down.

“Tell you and ruin the surprise?” Cassian faked outrage, placing a hand on his heart “As if I could do that. You will want it.”

“I don’t want anything from you.”

Cassian resisted the urge to close his eyes and scream in pain. Those words, that memory, kept appearing against his better wishes.

He had been an asshole.

Had regretted his words the moment they had left his mouth.

He had wanted to get a reaction from Nesta. Do it the way it usually was between them.

Blown being met by blown.

Fire against fire.

He had been stupid to think it would work.

Had been even more stupid to not apologise afterwards.

But this Nesta was not the Nesta from his memories. Was not the Nesta from a year ago.

He could only hope her reaction would be different.

“Are those... are those books?” Nesta asked, trying to hide her surprise as she opened it, reading the titles.

“I thought you would have gotten bored of reading the same books over and over again” Cassian said, hoping he didn’t sound as nervous as he thought he was.

“And they must be more interesting than my military books” he added, indicating the long forgotten book Nesta had been reading when he arrived.

Nesta only looked at him and slightly dipped her chin in gratitude.

Cassian wanted to dance in happiness at that.

“Good to know that now you have a personal delivery boy to get whatever I want” Nesta said, directing her words at Azriel.

“As if I would do it for free” he snorted “Cassian promised to cook my favorite dish in payment. He’s the errand guy.”

“He does seem to like to be bossed around” she commented innocently, and that earned her a rare grin from Azriel.

“He also requested children’s books” the shadowsinger eyed her figure and raised an eyebrow “You two need a chaperone up here?”

Cassian tensed, not knowing what to expect from Nesta.

“Are you looking for a new job? Playing spy getting too boring?” Nesta replied, also raising a perfect eyebrow mockingly.

“Perhaps” was all the shadowsinger said, and Cassian took that as a cue to get between them.

“They’re for Kaelin, I thought they’d be easier books to read for now than the ones we have here”

Cassian had asked Azriel to get some old myths books for Kaelin, nothing too childlike but also not too difficult for him. He hadn’t wanted to offend the kid by giving him something too easy, having seen his progress with Nesta.

“And who is that anyway?” Azriel asked.

“He’s our new roommate” Cassian joked, not failing to notice how Nesta had flinched slightly when Azriel had asked about Kaelin.

“Kaelin is too young to live like he had been living” Nesta declared, stiffening her spine “I took him in. And he’s going to stay here”

Azriel said nothing, his shadows seeming to catch something in Nesta’s voice, and his eyes softened.

“I’m sure he’s nothing but nice if he’s keeping up with Cassian” he attempted “I’d like to meet him”

Just then, they heard the door opening.

“Ah, there he is!” Cassian exclaimed, a smile appearing.

That smile, however, weakened as Kaelin came into view, quieter than usual.

And Cassian thought he’d have to be the one to wear that leather strap in the end.

For Kaelin’s hair — once a wild mess of curls, who constantly feel on his eyes — had been sloppily cut, no curl at view.

In fact, he looked nothing like Kaelin at all.

There was a tension in him that had not been there before, the young Illyrian brown eyes’ seeming to look bigger on his face now that they were not hidden by his bangs anymore.

And the short cropped hairstyle that Kaelin now displayed also made the fresh bruises on his face even more alarming.

•

Fixed tag list: @sayosdreams @thewayshedreamed @sjm-things @perseusannabeth @arin1030 @caotica-e-quieta @vidalinav @swankii-art-teacher @ireallyshouldsleeprn @duskandstarlight @greerlunna @thegoddessaltenia @dayanna-hatter @verypaleninja @awesomelena555 @courtofjurdan @allilal @sensitiveillyrian @moe8 @illyrianwitchling13 @silvernesta @bri-loves-sunflowers @queenestarcheron @imwritingthesewords @vasudharaghavan @rainbowcheetah512 @darkshadowqueensrule @letstakethedawn

{Please let me know if you’d like to be added in Fixed Tag list}

#sarah j maas #sjmaas #sjm books #sjm fanfic #nesta archeron #cassian #cassian x nesta #nessian #azriel

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missroserose · 3 years

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Fic Writer Question Meme!

Thanks for the tag, @venhedish—I love stuff like this! I'd apologize in advance for how long this is likely to be, but I suspect we share that tendency, haha.

How many works do you have on AO3?

20 total. I've been publishing there since late 2018, so about three years now. That sounds right for me—I'm way too perfectionist to ever be prolific.

What's your total AO3 word count?

125,744! Apparently it takes me three years to write a novel's worth of words I feel are worth publishing...which also sounds right.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Three, primarily: The Lost Boys, Stranger Things, and Supernatural. Mostly Stranger Things, since I was pretty enmeshed in the Harringrove community for about a year and a half, though these days I'm hanging out more with the SPN crowd. We'll see if that translates to more fics.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1.) Sunflower (524) 2.) Quickly, look away (506) 3.) We'll Become Who We Meant To Be (383) 4.) Too Young To Fall In Love (333) 5.) When the Waters Start to Cross (283)

First, what's not surprising: all are Stranger Things/Harringrove works. I'm a little surprised to see that "Sunflower" had edged out "Quickly" as my most-kudosed story, for years it was the other way around—but maybe that's actually not that surprising—part of the reason I haven't been as active in the fandom is that I really love the darker and more complex renditions of Billy Hargrove's character (a la "Quickly") and since S3 aired it seems like the fashion has moved more towards more lighthearted fluff (a la "Sunflower"). Still, both are pretty undemanding smut, so it makes sense that they're on top; similarly, I'm not surprised to see "Too Young To Fall In Love" in the top five either.

I am a little surprised that "We'll Become Who We Meant To Be" is #3—it's honestly close to genfic, there's only the tiniest moment of hinted-at attraction in there. I'm not mad about it, I honestly feel like it's one of my better efforts; on the other hand, "Wake Me Up" was in a similar vein and it's close to the bottom. I guess there's just no telling what's going to catch on...in fairness, a 25K outsider POV novella is a much bigger ask than a 3K short story.

Honestly, I'm probably most surprised at "When the Waters Start to Cross" cracking the top five—it's a 52K+ WIP and a profoundly complex atmospheric existential horror/romance, which is, like, five strikes against it. I'm not mad about it, though—I love that fic, even if it is a huge time and energy suck, and it definitely contains some of my best writing.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do! Sometimes it takes me a while, but I genuinely appreciate people taking the time to leave feedback (even if it's just a string of emoji!). And every once in a while I'll get really thoughtful or incisive comments that spark whole conversations—that's one of the best reasons to write fic!

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Hmm...to be honest, nothing immediately comes to mind; I love angst but tend to want it to serve a purpose, i.e. it gets a character closer to who they want to be. So most of my endings are at least hopeful. *checks list* It looks like probably my angstiest ending is also my first fic posted, "Blue Masquerade". Poor Michael.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you've written?

I don't currently write crossovers; I wouldn't rule it out, but frankly I haven't come across an idea that appeals to me. Waaaaaay back in the mists of time I had a Daria/Harry Potter crossover that I was actually pretty proud of, but I got about as far as getting them to Hogwarts and then kinda ran out of ideas, so I never posted it.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not that I can think of? I'm not big-time enough to get hate, haha. Worst I ever got was some rando asking for top or bottom tags, which I just ignored, and one person on "We'll Become" who was like "I don't like this pairing but you did a good job", which kinda had me like ??? thanks, I guess? I did get one comment on "Quickly, look away" from someone who felt like it was in a different headspace from the fic I wrote it as a sequel to, but that didn't strike me as hate, it's a perfectly fair observation.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

So first off, yes, and second...I recently came across this great Garth Greenwell quote that really gets at what I'm trying to do when I write smut:

In America in 2019 we are inundated with images of bodies to an absolutely unprecedented degree—images of eroticized bodies, images of sexual bodies; the Internet makes all our fantasies visible, and it trains us in new fantasies. And yet it also seems to me that our culture suffers from a dearth of representations of embodiedness, by which I mean of bodies imbued with consciousness. I’m not at all antiporn, but sometimes pornography (maybe especially Internet pornography, with its arms race of extremity) seems to want to evacuate bodies of personhood, to present them as objects. I think literature is the best technology we have for representing consciousness, and so I think there’s a kind of intervention that literature can perform in representing sex explicitly: it can reclaim the sexual body as a site of consciousness.

"Embodied porn" is probably the best description I can come up with—I love writing sex precisely because it's such a charged form of communication (Greenwell's words again), because there are things a character can do and say in that context that they never would normally. Like, sex acts are great and all, but what really does it for me is what's going on in their head, what's the history that brought the character to this point, how're they handling the inherent vulnerability and intimacy of this incredibly risky but potentially rewarding moment. Kink (whether through roleplaying, props, costumes, or whatever) is really just another way of adding to that personal meaning, since without the characters' reactions any trappings are meaningless.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, although I'd love to work with a translator someday (whether with fic or another context)—I'm fascinated by the inherent puzzles in translating between languages, especially with informal speech and its many idioms and cultural references.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet! I'd be open to the idea, but it definitely has to be with the right person...

What's your all time favorite ship?

Isn't that basically like asking a mom to choose her favorite kid? Seriously, I like different things about all of them...which one's getting the most attention depends entirely on mood and headspace and other effectively random variables.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I don't have any I've given up on entirely, yet. Even Waters, as beastly complicated as it is, I've been ruminating on and adding to and arranging in my head lately...

What are your writing strengths?

Atmosphere, character, dialogue. I've said it before, I'm a capital-R Romantic at heart: I love writing settings that reflect and reinforce a character's headspace—while also implying what said character might be missing in their viewpoint.

Something I've noticed—my husband worked for years as a penetration tester, which meant he would regularly have to talk his way past people on a moment's notice. So, unsurprisingly, we both notice people, but he tends to observe their presentation (clothing, accessories, especially ones that're markers of social class and group belonging that allow him to tailor his approach), whereas I notice what they say and how they say it—and, often, what they don't say.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I suddenly feel like I'm in a job interview, haha. Perfectionism is a big one—I have a tendency to feel hopeless and quit if something's taking too long, rather than persisting until I get it sorted, even though some of my best work is stuff where I persisted. Also, I'm big on emotional intensity—which isn't a bad thing, necessarily, but I sometimes read back over my stuff and I'm like "geez, Ambrosia, ease up a bit"...I could definitely use some comic relief in my writing sometimes, but I think I'm often too insecure to try it.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I don't have any in particular—I rarely do it myself, because I don't trust myself to do it properly. (Perfectionism again!)

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Daria, way back in the day. My work is still up on FF.net...sometimes I wonder if anyone's ever going to dig it up and confront me with it, haha. (I doubt anyone will ever care that much...I guess I'm more just curious if my style from twenty years ago is recognizably me.)

What's your favorite fic you've written?

If we're talking about finished fics, probably either "Wake Me Up" or "Young At Heart"—they're both pretty oddball, but both required a fuckton of work and both came out pretty close to what I wanted. But "Waters" is my biggest baby...maybe I'll open up Act III to work on today...

Thanks again for the tag, Ven! I'm going to tag @ihni, @redmyeyes, @twobrokenwyngs, @skybound2, @sambrosia, @shewritesdirty, @introvertia, @coffeeandchemicals, and @anarchist-billy—if you're up for some rumination, I'd love to hear your thoughts on your writing!

#author stuff #my writing #fanfic culture #about me #tag games

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starr-fall-knight-rise · 4 years

Text

HASO “Evidence.”

Still working on the trial arc, and sorry I am late in posting. I had to go to work at seven and am trying to write in between helping guests.

CREDIT and a THANK YOU to one of my amazing discord community members Eddi, who has been working for the last few months on the audio visual and transcript logs seen here. I did not write them, Eddi wrote them an was kind enough to let me use them in this story. I loved it and thought it brought a lot of authenticity to the story by bringing in an outside voice.

WARNING: GRAPHIC blood, gore, and bodily mutilation. The Steel eye project development is VERY horrible, so don’t read if that is something that bothers you.

It was a beautiful day.

The sky was a bright eggshell blue stratified with only the occasional cirrus cloud highlighting the sky with a touch of distant white. The sun was bright though the temperature was moderate only in the mid eighties.

Swimmers could be seen as distant pinpoints of light and froth on the surface of lake Geneva. Voices echoed up from the city coerced mostly by the purring of hover-car engines.

Towering white buildings rose high into the sky adding height instead of width to a city that had not grown outside its own borders for the past thousand years other than to go up.

Itw as a more environmentally efficient way to build, and left the countryside untouched by the scars of infrastructure and humanity.

Adam stared out the window for a long moment wishing for the peaceful embrace of the skies and the roaring of a jet engine. A soft whimper at his leg, and he looked down to see Waffles sitting at his heel, her head tilted back to look up at him. WHen he didn’t immediately respond to her she whined again and scooted closer, her paws making soft clicking sounds on the wood flooring below.

Finally he reached down and scratched her behind the ears.

She could sense his agitation, and it was clear that she didn’t much like it.

He couldn’t blame her.

He didn’t like it either. He sighed and turned his head away from the do and he window, back to the mirror in front of which he now stood. He didn’t see himself.

The man in the mirror was tall, straight backed with sharply trimmed and styled hair, jaw squared and raised. Both eyes were green though one expanded and contracted like the appriture of a camera. The expression on the man’s face was stern and unyielding.

He looked…. Like his father.

He had never seen much of a resemblance between them, but now he could certainly see it.

It didn’t help that the stars on his uniform seemed to add an extra ten years to his age.

With a soft sigh, he pulled his captain’s cap down snuggly onto his head and whistled low for his dog.

She fell into a perfect heel at his side, and he clipped the leash onto her colla.

Her black service vest was strapped on tight with a pair of doggie saddlebags on either side carrying water bottles. Waffles always liked having a job to do, and a little extra work would help to keep her relaxed during the trial rather than antsy.

She was going to have to stay very still for a very long time for the next few days.

“Ready girl.”

Her tail thumped against the floor at his voice.

“At least that makes one of us.”

He transferred her elash to his left end, though he didn’t technically need it, and led her out of the bedroom and into the large living room. It was a lot of hotel room for just one man. He would have been fine enough with a double queen personally, but he supposed if the UNSC was paying there was no reason to argue otherwise.

It felt strange, going to a hotel on the UNSC’s Dime to testify against the UNSC in one of the biggest trials of the century.

His stomach churned.

Waffles nosed his hand.

Dr Krill floated down from his examination of the chandelier, “I admire human artistry, but pragmatism is still my preferred way of living.” he motioned around the room, “A bit opulent.”

Adam nodded his agreement, “You can say that again. I haven’t slept on a bed that big in my life.” In all honesty, he was trying to keep his mind off of what was to come. He didn’t really care about the bed and certainly didn’t know if he had ever slept in a bed that large.

He sort of doubted it, he was in the UNSC after all.

A knock came on the door and he turned reaching for the handle and pulling it open. The driver from yesterday was waiting for him, his suit pristine. He bowed slightly, “The car is waiting for you, sir.”

He nodded, and motioned the other man to lead the way.

The man nodded and thanked him, stepping down the hall and leading them down into the lobby. They got a lot of looks as they made their way down, most likely because of krill, though his uniform might have caught some attention.

He was led out towards the car and slid into the back seat, suddenly surprised to find that he wasn’t alone.

“Admiral Kelly!”

“Good morning, Adam.”

“What are you doing here.”

“I am here to witness the trial. UNSC representatives thought it would be best if some of the newer brass came to oversee proceedings.”

He quickly looked out the window, suddenly remembering which side of the conflict this was on.

A hand rested on his arm, “I’m not here to make you feel bad about your decision, Admiral. You’re doing what needs to be done.”

He sighed and nodded, “I… thank you ma’am.”

“You sure this is something you are ready for.”

He paused and then shook his head, “No… I’m not ready, and I never will be.” She went to open her mouth but he stopped her, “But I’m the only one we have, so I will do what it takes.”

The car went silent as it slowly accelerated into the early morning traffic.

It was going to be a very long day.

Admiral Kelly turned to look at Krill speaking with him quietly while Adam looked out the window.

He wasn’t in the mood for talking right now though he knew how odd that was.

His stomach continued to churn as they drove through the streets heading towards the outskirts of the city where the Geneva court had been built just over 200 years ago.

The last buildings on the outskirts of town went by and their first view of the court appeared in the car window. It was made in the classic greco-roman style with large white pillars and sloped rooftop and carvings on the top that depicted all the deities of justice ever conceived by historial religion, all cast and depicted in marble.

The thoroughfare up to the building was long and wide with a decorative reflecting pool at the center and a set of daunting steps leading up to the ornate front doors.

The grounds were meticulously kept with hedges shrub and flowering bushes, with what must have been miles and miles of water features and fountains off to the side.

It was a beautiful location, and it seemed that visitors found it a nice spot to rest while they enjoyed touring the sites.

He didn’t see much in the beauty today.

This was the UN supreme court, and the history of Geneva made this place hallowed in ways that made the court case for today all the more poignant.

The car pulled to a stop before the doors and a few gloved attendants stepped forward sharply dressed and opened the doors with almost militaristic precision as Admiral Vir and Admiral Kelly stepped out.

Waffles followed at his heels

He knew as soon as he stepped onto the marble steps that he wanted to leave, an the only thing that kept him there was the memory of those faces…. All the people counting on him back at the house, all the people who had never been given a chance to recover like he had.

He took a deep breath and ford himself up the steps and towards the front doos where a group of people were already congregating.

There were a few reporters there, without cameras, waiting to attend in the audience and record the proceedings for their news stories and daytime television. A few of them snapped discrete photos of him as he passed and was led through the wide double doors into the expansive inner hallway with a beautifully muraled ceiling and a line of decorative plants down the side.

Voices echoed inside the building, rising up around him to bounce off the marble.

The voices themselves were indistinct and difficult to understand as he made his way further into the room.

Men in suits lined the walls.

He eyed them critically wondering if any of them happened to be the defence.

A hand was placed on his shoulder, and he quickly turned to eye another attendant, who had evidently been trying to get his attention, “Right this way sir.”

He nodded and was led through the halls and into a nearby antichamber.

A wand was passed over his body.

“Please hold out your arm , sir.”

He did as ordered and watched as his forearm implant was temporarily deactivated.

“The room is completely radio proof, sir. No signals go in or out. If you must make a call, I urge you to take it during the court recess.”

“Understood.”

“Please step inside and sit on the second row on the right side behind the prosecution.

He did as ordered, and stepped into another wide curving room.

It was much bigger than he would have thought, two stories high with amphitheater seats, and a massive curving desk at the front where nine Geneva court judges would be seated on their entrance.

There was no jury.

The Geneva court judges would be the jury for trial at this time.

Law practices had changed a lot since world war III but there was still some semblance of the old ways that still lingered on.

He took his seat, waffles grumbling softly as he slid onto the ground beside him.

Two people in suits followed him inside one in a dark blue suit and brown shoes, the other in pinstriped balck.

The one in blue was a woman, dressed sharply, her hair pulled back into a bun so tight you could have strummed out a tune on the hairs. She paused next to Adam and held out a hand, “Admiral Vir, we spoke over the phone.”

“Ms. Trevor.”

She nodded and motioned to the man, “And my partner Mr. Jackson. I trust you understand your purpose here today?”

“Yes Ma’am.”

Jackson lifted his head, “Our case here is solid, admiral. This case isn’t about who is going to be punished for what happened, but about how long they will be punished, not to mention it is likely to set up some new legislation for the ethical creation and use of military hardware. Once we are done, something like this is unlikely to ever happen again.”

He wasn’t entirely sure he believed that, but he nodded and let them take their seats in the desk before him.

Waffles whimpered and prodded at his hands with her nose.

He stroked a hand over her big pointed ears.

The courtroom filled up within the next hour, and, Looking across the room, he saw a line of men and women sitting on the second row of the defence. Something about them put him on edge.

He had a feeling they were the scientists.

They were the ones who had developed the steel eye armor.

“All rise! For the honorable Geneva court judges!”

The entire room took to their feet as the nine judges filed out of a back chamber and stepped onto the floor. All of them wore traditional black robes with white collars as had been tradition for nearly thousand of years. They took their seats with a mass shuffling.

“Please be seated.”

The room shuffled back into place.

The head judge,at the center of the table leaned forward.

“On this day June 24, 4024 we open the Geneva Court case of The People VS UNSC Biomechanics Division. the court will begin by hearing opening statements from the council.”

Council for the prosecution stood, shuffling her papers once before stepping up to the lectern.

“Honorable judges and members of the court, today we are here to present evidence against a faction of the UNSC scientific division for gross ethical violations, torture, and pruposeful endangerment of human life. Evidence suggests over 29 killed, over 21 critically injured, maimed, or permanently crippled, and over 61 with lasting mental trauma. This is not counting over 50 Steel eye soldiers coerced without prior knowledge, into participation in the program, 30 of which are now deceased 15 of which have lasting mental trauma, and five that, while functional, still feel the effects today. Today we will be presenting, written documents, video recordings, and audio files from prior testing as well as first hand witnesses of both the testing and the war as well as expert witness from the scientist who read and compiled the files before trial. What was done to these men and women constitute as war crimes and their victims deserve compensation and closure for what was done to them.”

She stepped back from the podium and nodded.

The defence stood and made their way to the podium in turn, “Your honors, and members of the court, while it is true that some unfortunate incidents happened during testing and development of the steel eye project, there is ample evidence to prove that none of these men or women were coerced against their will into participation. All subjects were volunteer and duly informed before proceedings began. Furthermore, scientific ethics had not advanced far enough at the time to cover weather or not what they were doing was an ethical violation. The Defence is not asking for complete vindication for the accused, but the sum of what happens is surely less than war crimes.”

They took their seat.

Adam wasn’t a lawyer, but he knew which opening statement he liked more. Now maybe he was biased, but certainly he felt that one presented greater amounts of evidence than the other. Of course it was up to the prosecution to show evidence that would convince the judges, beyond a reasonable doubt, that these men and women were guilty.

He listened to some more speaking, half falling asleep and assuming maybe this would be as bad as he thought it would when one of the prosecution stepped back up to the podium.

“The prosecution presents time stamped dated and logged evidence to the court for consideration. The first testing log we wish to present is from the eighteenth of October 4016 and overseen by Dr. Tato Nkosi written as log number 23.”

Experimental Log #023:

So far we have not experimented with a human subject, All the sample tests and simulations indicate that there should be no interference with normal function nor create any feedback loops that could induce seizures. This is the first human testing that we will be doing. We have noticed that the animal testing resulted in significant irritation and irrational behavour from the subjects, We however suspect this was because they were unawares of the reason for the implantations.

The subject is unconscious for the process of implantation to prevent movement.

-recording break-

The subject reacted violently to the implant, removing it in a highly violent manner while screaming and trying to injure any nearby scientists. We expected some level of resistance, but this indicates far more sensitivity than expected. Further testing will be required.

“The council for the prosecution wishes to present the audio/visual log.” A light flickers on as a video clip begins reeling.

Audiovisual Log Transcript:

The subject wakes suddenly, seeming to be woken by extreme pain. Screaming almost instantly and scrabbling at implant on their hand and wrist. Subject seems to be attempting to remove the implant. One of the scientists attempts to calm the subject only to be beaten by the subject who continues screaming. The scientist retreats from the subject just as the subject finally removes the test implant by ripping it from the subjects skin, tearing with it the subjects local nervous system along with large sections of the subjects musculature and ligaments. Seeming relieved at the lack of contact with the implant, the subject sinks to its knees. The subject is losing significant amount of blood, though we suspect the subject is unaware of this as large sections of the nervous system is still attached to the implant. The subject appears to be in shock as it observes its ruined lower arm and hand. The subject has resumed screaming and is now trying to get the scientists attention to fix its ruined lower arm and hand. The subject is sedated and arm treated. The recording ends here.

Adam throws a hand up over his face feeling bile rise into his mouth at the image seared into his brain. Muscle and ligament dangling uselessly against a steel eye prototype. He felt a bit lightheaded but takes a deep breath in and out to calm his breathing. All around the room there are gasps of shock and disgust. A few people stand to leave the room unable to witness any more.”

The council steps forward, “This was the first log in a recorded series of proceeding logs with similar effects. We know in experimentation that accidents happen all the time, and we might have considered forgiveness if the experimentation had stopped here. Clearly implementation on human test subjects was not ready, as evidenced by the animal’s discomfort. Perhaps if they had stopped here, some measure of understanding might have been allowed. But they continued past this point with full knowledge that this sort of catastrophic event could happen. This test subject will never regain full use of his hand. Instead of stopping the experiment like hey should, the scientists determined that the use of painkillers was in order to make the subject operational. For this the prosecution calls expert witness Dr. Alexander Gladstone to the witness stand.”

On the bench to his side, a man stands slicking back his salt and pepper hair as he moves to sit in the witness stand and is sworn in.

“Dr. Gladstone, tell us a little of your credentials.”

“Of course, I received my PHD in Biomechanical interface and Engineering as well as an additional PHD in Mechanised robotics. I have worked as the head scientist for the UNSC testing division for nearly five years now after my predecessor quit. I helped to re-engineer this project under Iron eye as a step forward from the Steel eye project in a more controlled and ethical environment. I am also the scientists who reviewed these logs and compiled them for analysis today.”

“Thank you Dr. Now, may I ask why these scientists would have chosen to implement a drug dosage?”

“To understand why they had to do this, you must also understand the steel eye project itself. Steel eye was designed to enhance the strength, speed and durability of the wearer. We already have exo suits designed for use in factory and industrial settings, however the main issue we run into in a combat setting is that the machine responds too slow. The nodes detect electrical impulses from the muscles and then have to fire following that meaning the subject has already begun moving almost seconds in advance of the machine. Steel eye was created to integrate the machine directly into the body to intercept nerve impulses before the muscles even fire, thus making the wearer faster, and the augment making them stronger. To do this you have to make a direct interface with the nervous system. They first implemented small microfivers which would wrap themselves around the nerves in question to detect electrical signals. These were designed to cluster primarily along the spine but have additional nodes in the major muscle groups. However, direct stimulation of a nerve or nerve cluster sends signals to the brai nthat are interpreted as…. Unbelievable agony, which is likely the agitation that they were seeing in the animal test subjects. However, with a high enough drug dosage, you can mitigate these effects, or distract the brain enough to keep the wearer functional for some time.”

He sat back in his seat.

“And in iron eye, how did you get around this problem?”

“Subdermal implants that do not require direct contact with the nerve endings themselves.”

“And does Iron eye cause any significant damage to the wearer?”

“No sir, the only danger is an infection of the implants, but that is with almost any implanted medical devise.”

“The subjects have no pain.”

“A general soreness that goes away within two to three days.”

“So in my understanding it is clear that there were alternatives to their original course of action. They could have pulled back and tried to implement a way to mitigate the pain rather than mask it with drug dosages?”

“Certainly.”

“But that isn’t what they did.”

“No.”

“The prosecution presents Transcript 27 to the court for viewing.”

Experimental log #27:

We have begun testing various drugs to suppress the pain, this test is with acetaminophen, commonly referred to as Codeine.

As per usual the subject was implanted while unconscious and atop this it was given a high dose of codeine prior to it awaking.

-recording break-

It appears that while the subject was capable of withstanding the pain from the implant for a longer period of time than our previous subjects However the subject clearly seemed to suffer increasing mental instability as the sensations returned, culminating in the subject violently trying to destroy the implant. Learning from prior experiments and in an attempt to reduce harm to the scientists, the subject was left alone while it was in this state and no attempt was made to aid the subject.

Adam turned his head away unable to stomach what was coming next. His hands were sweating terribly. He felt cold and weak. He had seen horrible things in war and in his time, but watching this… .watching steel eye. It was just too much.

His mouth had gone dry, and his skin was hot as if he had a fever.

The dog nosed his hand but he barely acknowledged her.

Audio-visual log transcript:

The transcript begins once the Codeine begins to wear off.

The subject begins by itching at the area around the implant, the reaction is far less violent than the prior subjects. After several minutes of ever more irritated scratching and aggressive tugging at the implant and plaintive noises the subject began to violently bash the implant against the wall. Growing ever more violent with the abuse of the implant. This continues till the test implant is mangled and ruined with the subject pulling the mangled chunks of metal off their skin, this however seems not to alleviate the subjects pain and irritation. This is likely due to the destruction of the implant not removing the interfacing needles The subject continued to scratch and pull at its skin, the plaintive noises slowly becoming screams of pain. This action continued without interruption from the scientists till the subject had torn most of the skin of its arm and taken chunks out of its musculature, the subject finally passed out from pain or blood loss after several minutes of self mutilation.

The room spun around him, and he took a few long, deep breaths hoping that it would stop.

He wast sure he could survive another few hours of this.

He wasn’t sure at all

204 notes · View notes

onyourzeus · 3 years

Text

• in the mood for love | pjh

ykcyj ➝ arskyh

title: in the mood for love pairing: park jaehyung (jae of day6) & you genre: FLUFF words: 2.6k

author’s note: requested by this anon asking for a valentine’s day headcanon for our #1 twitch streamer, jae. i’ve never done headcanons before, so i kind of spun this in both ways: how i think he’d spend a special day with his s/o, and turn it into a fic(ish?) ngl these are fun to do

any requests? check my pinned post if i’m accepting any at the moment, thanks!

jae wouldn’t be the biggest fan of valentine’s day

as in, having one specific day assigned throughout the whole year

for you to hail gifts and love notes and roses and chocolates to the one person you love

yeah, he’d definitely be the “complaining” type, that is to say

before he met you

your relationship stands in the middle of being frenemies and actually romantically involved

there is never a day that jae corrects you on some weird unheard of factoid

(in which case he gets it wrong 95% of the time)

nor can you get away from his ridiculous antics that just tip you over the edge slightly

like, putting your favorite snack on the highest shelf he knows you can’t reach

or bombarding you with memes through texts while he’s in the bathroom

forcing you to play phasmaphobia, promising he won’t lock you in the room with the ghost

and proceeds to do exactly that plus runs away without you

where’s the team effort in that?

anyway, that’s basically the gist of your life having him as your boyfriend

so for valentine’s day, you know it would either just be

a chill day at his apartment, maybe play games that would resort to turning into a fiery competition

or watch the latest release of your favorite animes while he talks over every two minutes about a theory he developed prior

OR… hmm, well, you’re not really sure

this would be the first valentine’s you’d spend with him; and you’re very much aware for his

lack of fondness for the holiday

the days leading up to it, the only thing you’d hear from him is complaints upon complaints of this capitalistic expenditure that should be abolished

you know he jests, but you feel a little saddened

you spent so much time making a scrapbook for the memories you both shared in the few months you’ve been together

it’s not a lot, you rarely do intricate craftwork like this, but you were feeling sentimental

there’s polaroids of him streaming on twitch with you sneakily taking the picture from the side

a polaroid of the two of you at your apartment eating take out while drinking a little alc

even a picture of yourself which he took when you were knocked out on the couch, waiting for him to finish band practice

for an added touch, you wrote down cute (or snarky, it depends on how he views it) comments on each polaroid, just to make it more personalized

the nervousness hits you, what if he thinks this is all too much? too clingy? he didn’t ask for this, that’s for sure

but it was made with the labor of love, and it just so happens that the 14th was the day you started dating him… yeah, maybe you can make that as an excuse instead

usually, the both for you don’t really celebrate ~*~monthsaries~*~ and that’s okay

he’s busy with work and you have other duties to attend to as well— but one special gift shouldn’t be the cause of a problem, right?

on the day of ~*~love~*~, jae had some meetings at the company bldg. and so you ask if there’s a time during the night you guys can hang out

he doesn’t respond until a few hours later, and the whole time your heart sank deeper and deeper into the pit of your stomach

you just have to accept him for who he is, you sigh, or maybe he’s just caught up with band stuff, which is usually the case— and you’re never not 100% supportive

he texts you that you can come over at his apartment, and for a little your excitement bounces back

“sorry for the late reply, the boys were here for a lil” he adds, and you’re confused— did that mean they’re still hanging out at his place? oh

you try not to think of it too much, having expectations beyond reality is what breaks a lot of relationships

and you have to remind yourself: jae isn’t like that, and you like jae for jae

you still bring the scrapbook with you, and ought to leave it under his bed or something so he finds a surprise later on (considering the possibility that you’re accompanied by 4 of his best friends during your 6 month anniversary and valentine’s day)

you arrive at his doorstep, anxiety soaring out of your chest for some reason. with the spare key he had entrusted you with, you open the door

it’s dark

way too dark

is this a prank? is he trying to conflate halloween with valentine’s day

“jae i swear to god if—”

and the lights turn on, but it’s not his house lights. they’re fairy lights. all strewn across the hall (where did he get that?)

little heart cut outs of different shades of red and pink seem to be taped all over the walls

you hear soft piano music humming from his speakers in the living room

but there is no jae in sight

“jae, what…” you’re at a loss for words

he pops out of his bedroom, trying hard not to grin so widely at you

“you called?” he says in the most annoying, teasing voice in which you can’t help but laugh-cry at

“wait wait wait this wasn’t the reaction i was going for” he says in panic, walking towards you and the sight of him just makes you cry a little harder

he’s wearing a tux inside his own house, and he’s holding a rose that’s bound to be crushed the moment he comes over to hug you

“wait, no the rose,” you say in between sniffles, taking it from his grasp and settling it on the coffee table

jae pauses, looks at you in a daze

you’re pouting, and you want to admire his outfit but also punch his silly face but he’s smiling at you and you’re embarrassed

“are you sad?” he asks a matter of factly, arms still spread open waiting for your approval for him to embrace you

“if you don’t hug me in the next three second i will be—”

“i would be the worst person to ever exist in the world to do that to you,” he says in your ear, and you soon feel yourself melting into his embrace

he’s so warm

and so tall

and so confusing you kind of just want to poke him where it hurts

but you indulge in the comfort of his presence

until you realize that you’re wrinkling his precious suit

“ok hol up” you interrupt the adorable moment, and jae seems to look confused

“wha”

“what’s all this?” you finally get the courage to ask, dried up tears on your cheeks yet a hopeful spark igniting in your chest

“well, i uh,” this is ultimate Jae Trying to Find Excuses with Futile Attempts To Do So 101

“did you really have a meeting today?” no answer

“did the boys help you with all this?” your head turns to look at all the cheesy decorations in the room

still no answer

just jae avoiding your suspicious stare, even whistling comically

“jae!” your nervousness from a while ago comes out as relief, and bubbling laughter as you playfully shake him for an answer “i thought valentine’s suck and we’re too good for that”

“you’re never too good for anything, well. except for me, you’re too good for me,” he finally lets up, wiping whats left of the moist tears on your face with a soft caress. his voice was soft, too, and it’s a refreshing and wanted feeling to hear him speak to you this way

“i know i can be a jerk about those kinds of things but… after meeting you, i think you deserve just the best,” he continues, finding your hand and holding onto it tight. “this isn’t even half of it”

“there’s more?” you quip, already satisfied with the cutesy re-decor of his apartment, but once he leads you to the island counter you see two plates filled with dinner food, and wine glasses ready to be poured with what seems to be red wine on the side

the vase in the middle was empty, and so you accept the rose that jae had picked up from the table, and carefully place it in its new home

“i’m… impressed. you did this?” you say

“if i said yes would you believe me”

“never,” you reply, knowing that younghyun probably had a little helping hand in here too

“well there you go, you know me better than myself already,” jae winks, and something flutters within you that causes your head to feel so light and just. focus on jae

pulling out the chair, he signals for you sit down with a royal gesture “before you, milady”

you’re laughing now, smiling from ear to ear at how ridiculous jae sounds but at the same time the two of you are having so much fun

you fall back into normal conversations with more banter than regular small talk; it’s so easy to be yourself with him

you keep admiring the suit he’s wearing, even his hair is slicked back with gel to cast the perfect valentine’s day look. you compliment him in between bites, and then mutter under your breath that you should have worn something just as elegant

“this wasn’t my idea,” he defends, and you’re sure one of the boys dared him to do it

“still, i don’t look the part as your date,” you half-joke, but your tone sounded sadder than you anticipated

“this,” jae says, looking at you and only you. for a moment you can’t find your breath

“you. this is you. and that’s who i love”

you’re smitten. that’s it pack up your bags this is it

“jae maybe ease up on the red wine?”

“shutup youknowyouloveit”

finally, you finish up the meal and you’re full

of food and love

he tells you to just chill by the couch as he gets something from his room, and you wonder what else he has up his sleeve

you’re grateful for bringing the polaroid camera with you to commemorate something so rare

but as you’re trying to take it out of your bag, you see the scrapbook (it’s hard to miss) and pull that out instead

should you give it to him now? or later?

while you contemplate on this, flipping the pages of the book jae has sprung up behind you

“hey i was looking for that picture of you all sleepy and drooling”

“JAE WHAT THE HELL”

you jump from surprise, almost flailing the scrapbook in the process as you see jae laughing his ass off from behind

you notice he has his guitar with him now (???)

“did you do this for me?” he sits next to you, setting the guitar on the side as you begrudgingly give him your gift. all of a sudden the unknown fear creeps up again and you hide your face in your hands

you hear him turn the page, a quiet pause, maybe a chuckle or two, and rinse repeat

“are you done????”

“no give me about ten hours”

“WHAT”

“i’m kidding, dude, this is amazing”

give it to jae to call you dude while in a relationship with you

but that’s when you know he’s genuine with his words

“i wasn’t expecting anything like this at all. this is so so so good, i love it. a lot,” he keeps complimenting you and it’s so hard to look at him when you’re red in the face and heart beating a mile a minute

“it’s nothing… i thought it’d feel too much since we haven’t been together long,” you confess, finally giving into seeing what jae looks like

he pout

he attac you with a flick on the forehead

and a pat on top of your head

“i don’t see it that way,” he says, sincerely. then he brings his guitar on his lap, and prepares his form as if he’s… about to sing something

the music from the speakers was soft enough to not disrupt his singing and guitar skills

you are one if not the biggest fan of jae and his band

and also, of eaJ

so you are very well aware of every song he’s put out there even winning five times in a self-induced contest as to who knows the lyrics better: the actual band member or the significant other

but what he’s singing for you right now

what those fingers plucking romantic melodies on the guitar strings

you haven’t heard of it before

and yet your heart feels so connected, so in awe of the way jae passionately sings in front of you

the man is shy okay, he’s a genius in his craft but when it comes to doing it in front of you he clamps up like a toddler on his first day alone in school

but right now, you don’t see any of that. you see jae singing words of happiness, admiration, love

for you

and he might not be meeting your eyes right now, it’s okay, cause you’re crying again anyway

you don’t want him to stop

you close your eyes and feel his words embed themselves in your mind

you want to keep this memory close to you, even if you can’t take a picture

it’ll ruin how special this moment is, really

it was short, sweet, but you’re not complaining

he finishes with a soft strum, and then finally sees your face in tears again

“i’m a bad boyfriend aren’t i,” he whines and he is met with the forceful (hint: soft) punches on his chest

“you’re literally the best bf ever wtf are u on about”

face wet, cheeks red, neck feeling warm from the wine

you’re a mess it’s as if you got dumped on valentine’s instead of serenaded by the love of your life

“why do you look like you got broken up on valentine’s instead of being—”

“yes jae i know”

“did you like it though? it’s unfinished but, i figured i wanted you to be the first to hear it”

“since...well.. it’s a song about you”

:( he wipes the tears with his thumb, and you steal a quick kiss on his lips

“i love it, and i love you so much u dork”

“i take it back you’ll never hear the finished version of this song”

“HEY”

(spoiler alert: he now keeps bugging you for more supportive comments and suggestions on the song)

(another spoiler alert: the night ended up the way you guys love spending time together: basking in each other’s company)

only this time, there’s poorly cut out hearts all over the walls

and there’s jae drunkenly mistaking lyrics of his song for another

and you singing along off-tune

happy valentine’s you two :)

#day6 imagines #day6 scenarios #day6 au #park jaehyung imagines #park jaehyung scenarios #day6 x reader #jae x reader #day6 fic #by:jiae #dot series

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megurine-san-7u7 · 3 years

Text

My Valentine - OS

WONDERCORP PROMPT

It was one of those days in which Kara would drop by unannounced with donuts in hand. Successfully pulling Lena away from her tiring job.

Although it was still a bit difficult for her to get used to the idea of having friends, the blonde reporter was very persistent in becoming her friend that Lena was unable to refuse that friendship.

And even when from time to time the Luthor was reluctant to trust, given her rocky past with betrayals in her life. Lena just had to remember brown hair, chocolate eyes and gentle kisses, and all doubts would banish.

She had met Diana by chance in one of her trips to Europe, and the amazon was quick to win her heart.

How could she resist a goddess herself?

Diana had teared down her walls and made her believe in people again. The amazon was the only reason Lena didn’t shut herself off completely after her brother’s trial.

A sigh left her lips, it was barely noticeable, and even with super hearing, Kara was more distracted by the story she was telling Lena.

And she should probably pay attention, but her mind was elsewhere.

Miles away, more precisely, across the ocean. In a certain museum where her lover worked.

It had been barely a year since she moved to National City.

The memory of the day she took the hardest decision of her life, was still fresh in her mind.

She got off the phone, a blank expression and dull eyes.

Diana was by her side in an instant gently taking hold of her face to look her in the eye.

“What’s wrong?” She asked with a soft voice.

“LuthorCorp…” Lena mumbled with a distant gaze. “…is mine now…”

The amazon waited for Lena to gather her thoughts, gently stroking her lover’s cheeks with tenderness.

“I-I thought mother would take control…” a frown etched on her features. “but…Lex left it all to me in case something happened-” again a distant gaze settled on her features, as if her mind was miles away.

Because something did happen. Her brother went mad and murdered hundreds of innocent people, all because of his vendetta against Superman.

“Lena-”

“I just can’t believe him!” Lena huffed in anger and moved away from her lover’s touch. “I don’t want LuthorCorp, I never wanted it!” She exclaimed while pacing around the room. “Lex knew it! And he still-”

Her anger was abruptly stopped when a pair of strong arms surrounded her body from behind. Lena felt the instant calm Diana always provided.

“Why would he do that?” She muttered with a broken voice.

“I don’t know…” It was the only thing Diana could say. “But it is done.”

Lena sighed and turned around to hid her face in Diana’s neck, letting her lover held her and comfort her.

“What to do next is up to you, my love.” The hero mumbled while gently caressing the Luthor’s soft hair.

Lena knew Diana was right, and a lump formed in throat.

She wanted to stay in Paris with her lover, but with her family’s company in her control, her wish could not be anymore.

LuthorCorp was one of the biggest companies in the world, holding much power, and in the wrong hands -like her brother’s- its resources could be used wrongly.

It was easier to walk away from it all when she didn’t have the power to do something. But with Lex’s actions, Lena did have the power to change the company’s future, to turn it into a force of good.

The only catch, she’d have to return to America.

“I have to go back…” The words left her lips in a whisper, as if reluctant to be voiced at all.

“I know…” Diana said gently, still caressing her hair.

Soon the tears she was trying to swallow couldn’t be held back anymore, and Lena started crying on her lover’s shoulder, wetting her expensive blouse. But Diana didn’t complain, on the contrary, she strengthened her hold on the young woman.

The hero knew her better than anyone else, and she always understood Lena’s actions, never asking for something the Luthor wasn’t ready to give.

“I don’t want to leave here…”

“I know…” With a sigh, Diana gently moved Lena away, placing her palms on Lena’s cheeks and wiping away the tears. “But it doesn’t mean this has to end here.”

“No?”

“We can make this work if you want, Lena. I love you.”

“I love you too.” She said those words with sincerity and a big teary smile on her face.

“Lena?” Kara’s voice brought her out of her memories, and by the look on the blonde’s face, it wasn’t the first time calling her name.

“Sorry, I spaced out a bit.” Lena said with a practiced reassuring smile. “What did you say?”

Kara narrowed her eyes a bit, and a crinkle formed between them. It was clear she was worried, but their friendship was still new and she didn’t want to push.

“I asked you about your plans for this Tuesday.” Kara said with a smile.

“Uh, I have work to do-”

“What?! No, you can’t work on Tuesday!” Kara refuted right away, an offended frown on her face.

At her confused expression, the blonde opened her eyes in surprise.

“You don’t know what this Tuesday is?!”

“Should I…?”

Searching her memory, she tried to remember if someone on their friend group was celebrating a birthday or something. But her mind came up empty.

She looked at Kara at a loss, and the blonde gasped in shock.

“It’s Valentine’s Day!” Kara exclaimed as if it was a sacrilege to forget such a day.

“Oh…” Very eloquent on her part, but Lena just didn’t know what to say.

She remembered the last year’s Valentine’s day.

Diana had prepared the day with anticipation, and Lena was a little surprise at her lover’s enthusiasm. But the amazon told her about Eros -also known as cupid- and how the day reminded her of the Greek God, son of Aphrodite. It made her remember her mother’s stories about the gods when Diana was just a child.

Lena had listened to everything the amazon wanted to share with a smile on her face.

The Luthor had been happy by just spending the day with Diana, but the demigoddess had made sure to make it a day to remember…

And now, they would spend the day apart. They had talked about it a few days ago, but their schedules were too hectic, and neither Lena could fly to Paris, nor Diana to National City.

And the Luthor really didn’t want to think about that.

“I have a lot of work to catch up on, so I’ll be really busy that day…” She said, a grim look on her face.

“No way, you can’t spend Valentine’s alone.” Kara protested. “You can come to my place; we were planning on throwing a party with everyone.” The blonde said excitedly.

“Look Kara, I appreciate the offer but…”

‘But I rather focus on work instead of thinking about my girlfriend across the world.’

“Come on Lena, it’s friendship day.” Kara whined with a pout on her face

“Kara…” Lena tried again, but the pout only increased, and she felt like kicking a puppy in the rain. “Fine. But after I finish working.” She said with a resigned sigh, knowing she’d regret it later.

“Yay! You’re the best!” The reporter exclaimed while launching herself at the Luthor, and almost asphyxiating her with the bear hug.

Tuesday came sooner than she could expect.

She woke up like usual, checking her phone and the ever-present text from Diana.

‘Good morning, love.

I hope you have a wonderful day.

Yours, Diana.’

Lena smiled like a school girl in love, and wrote back a message. Although a little frown appeared on her face. Diana hadn’t mentioned anything about Valentine’s Day.

But she decided to ignore it, maybe Diana didn’t want to be reminded they were continents apart either.

After a couple of hours of work in the morning, her assistant knocked on the door and stepped inside her office.

“Do you need something, Jess?” She asked with curiosity, barely giving her assistant a proper look.

“I have a delivery for you, Ms. Luthor.” Jess said with a smile on her face.

When Lena raised her head from the documents in her hands, she gasped at the beautiful bouquet in Jess’s arms.

Those were her favorite flowers, and there was only one person who knew of that.

In an instant she was out of the seat and approaching her assistant to take the bouquet in her own arms.

The Luthor smelled their fragrance and a content smile settled on her lips. Then she noticed a note gently buried in the middle of the bouquet.

Jess noticed the happy giddy look on her boss and decided to leave her to her privacy.

Lena didn’t even notice her leaving, and was quick to take the note from between the flowers.

‘My beautiful star,

How I wish I was by your side.

Your smiles make my heart beat faster

Your kisses make me feel like flying

And knowing your heart belongs to me brings me absolute joy.

My heart is yours completely, I love you.’

The Luthor felt tears prickling at the corner of her eyes, it still amazed her how happy a simple detail could make her heart flutter.

Lena let herself a moment to enjoy the fragrance of the flowers, and when her heart was content enough, she turned to press the button she used to call her assistant.

“Jess, could you please bring me a vase filled with clean water?”

“Right away, Ms. Luthor.”

Her work went a lot easier after Diana’s note, and her mood was completely improved from when she first arrived at her office.

Time went by without her noticing, her thoughts only on her beloved.

So when Kara came inside with lunch in her hands, Lena was startled to say the least.

“Sorry…” The blonde muttered with an apologetic smile.

“Don’t worry about it.” Lena was quick to wave away the apology, and her smile was once again on her lips.

Kara tilted her head slightly in contemplation, as if not fully understanding the good mood. But a smile of her own plastered on her face.

If Lena was happy, then she was happy too.

And while putting the dishes on the table, blue eyes zeroed on the flowers on Lena’s desk.

“Nice flowers.” She said and a little frown etched on her features. “I thought you hated Valentine’s day.”

Lena laughed with mirth and left her chair to join Kara on the couch.

“I never said I hated the day.”

Kara waited a few seconds for Lena to add something else, but the Luthor didn’t say anything else about that, and instead brought out another topic of conversation.

The rest of their lunch was spent with a confused human puppy and a overjoyed Luthor.

“So, uh, I’ll see you at the party?” Kara asked, fidgeting with her glasses, sensing there was a story behind Lena’s smile and those flowers on her desk.

“Sure…” The Luthor said absentmindedly while gently stroking some of the petals of the flowers.

Lena seemed to be immersed in her thoughts, so Kara decided to leave it be for now.

She could get answers later, she told herself.

After Kara left, the young Luthor went back to work.

There had been a few problems in the research department, and she was currently writing to several people on how to take action on the problems.

Once again, she let herself get immersed in her work, not giving the clock even a glance.

Lena was just finishing typing a few important e-mails, when the balcony door opened and a gust of wind entered the office

“I see you still get carried away with work.”

At hearing that voice, she felt her heart beating faster inside her ribcage, and her body was quick to turn around.

“Diana…you’re here…” Lena mumbled when her eyes settled on Diana wearing her Wonder Woman suit.

“I am.” The amazon said with an amused smile on her lips, seeing that the Luthor still could not believe her presence was real.

“Oh my god, you’re really here!”

When Lena realized the sight in front of her wasn’t made up by her mind, she was quick to jump out of her seat and go to the arms of her lover. Diana caught her and spinned with Lena in her arms, like those lovers in the movies they watched in Paris.

They laughed with happiness in the arms of the other, filled with joy at been together after months apart and only videocalls in between.

When they finally settled down, their eyes met and soon the distance between their faces started to disappear.

Their lips met in a kiss, and soon they lost themselves in it.

It had been too long apart.

The party was supposed to be at night, and Kara was still patrolling the city in her super suit.

But when the sun started to go down, the blonde knew it was time to go get everything ready.

Suddenly Lena came to her mind, and she just knew the Luthor would still be working, so the hero decided to go visit her friend and remind her of their plans.

With a smile on her face, she flew towards L-corp, but when she was near, her eyes opened wide in surprise.

Inside Lena’s office was none other than Wonder Woman, currently in a deep kiss with Lena Luthor.

Shocked by the view, Kara lost control of her ability to fly for a moment, and before she could do something, she crashed on the Luthor’s balcony.

There was dust everywhere, and a new Supergirl’s dent shaped on the balcony’s floor. When she looked up from her place on the floor, Kara noticed the couple had separated, but Diana was standing in front of Lena protectively.

“Supergirl…” The amazon acknowledged her fellow hero, but still not letting Lena out of her protection, which made Kara frown.

The blonde opened her mouth to say something, but her mind came up empty on what she could say. So, she was just sitting there with dust on her suit, opening and closing her mouth like a fish.

Lena cleared her throat and taking hold of Diana’s hand, she looked at her lover’s eyes to communicate that it was fine, she was not in danger. The amazon nodded her understanding and lowered her guard.

The Luthor then approached the fallen kryptonian.

“Are you okay?” She asked gently, and Kara finally seemed to snap out of her trance.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” The blonde then stood up and dusted off her clothes.

Silence once again settled in the place, and yet again Lena was the one to break it.

“Is there a reason you came crashing on my balcony?” The Luthor asked softly.

“Oh, sorry about that…” The reporter was quick to apologize with an embarrassed blush on her cheeks.

Lena almost chuckled at the sight, because in front of her wasn’t Supergirl, but her dorky friend Kara.

“So?” The Luthor inquired again raising an eyebrow.

“Uh…yeah, I was just passing by and…” Kara was saying, but her eyes would dart from time to time to the amazon, who was currently serving herself a cup of water from Lena’s cabinet. “…and I…” the blonde had a crinkle between her eyes, clear confusion on her features, and once again Lena had to bite her lip to avoid laughing.

“And?” She tried to keep Kara focused.

“And uh��Kara Danvers asked me to remind you of the party…” The blonde finally said a full sentence with her gaze on the Luthor.

Lena’s smile dropped in an instant.

Kara was looking at her with a hopeful expression, and being honest, the Luthor had completely forgotten about said party. Even worse, she didn’t want to attend anymore. Diana was there with her, and Lena preferred her lover’s company than some party with people she was just getting to know.

“You’re going, right…?” The blonde hero asked tentatively.

Lena opened her mouth to say something, but she stopped when Diana’s voice reached her ears.

“You can go if you want, my love.” The amazon said in Greek, and by Kara’s confused expression, she didn’t understand it.

“I rather be with you.”

“And I’d like that as well, but if you wish, we can go to that party together.” Diana said with tenderness in her voice. “We can do whatever you wish, my love.”

Lena nodded and turned around to face Kara again, who was darting her eyes from one woman to the other while they were talking.

“So…uh…?” The blonde hero was at a loss.

Lena pondered her options, but there wasn’t really much to ponder. She already knew what she wanted.

“I’m sorry, Supergirl…I don’t think I will be making it to the party.” The Luthor said with the softest apologetic voice she could muster. “Please give Kara my sincere apologies.”

“I-I see…” There was hurt in her eyes, but Kara was quick to regain her composure. “I’ll pass the message then. Have a good night, Ms. Luthor-” she turned to her colleague in being a hero. “Wonder Woman.” And acknowledged her as well before flying away.

Lena sighed, feeling a bit bad after seeing Kara’s expression, but she didn’t regret her decision.

“Did you like the flowers?” Diana asked with a soft smile on her lips.

“I loved them, thank you.” Lena replied with a happy smile, approaching her beloved to. “Now, where were we?” she muttered with a deeper voice and surrounding Diana’s neck with her arms.

The amazon smiled and kissed her again.

#supergirl #lena luthor #Diana Prince #kara danvers #wondercorp

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writingsfromhome · 4 years

Text

Lookalike

Request: Can you do another cone song? Maybe lookalike or maniac? [Can you do it like harry dates a lookalike of you?]

A/N: I know this is way later than I said, I honestly wrote four version of this and deleted them before settling on this one and it’s still not the best. I’m just posting it so I can move on to my other ideas. I hope you enjoy it anyway! Soz it ends kinda on a cliffhanger, I didn’t want to make it super long. It already feels really long.

———————————

It was a humid summer evening, not the kind of evening you wanted to step out in. But here I was, in line with my best friend Jules who’d somehow gotten word of this pop-up club that was recently getting more popular with social media. The location would be dropped in code somewhere online for a limited time and then the rest was just word of mouth. Jules worked as a makeup artist so she usually knew what the “in crowd” was doing. This time, she knew where the club was going to be.

Myself, I was just a recent masters-graduate with low job prospects and big time loans. Always tired, single, and at the moment, very, very sweaty. The humidity was really damaging the effort I’d put in for this night out.

“Do you think we’ll spot Ed Sheeran?” Jules asks, her one true desire. “Then I can finally tell him how much he means to me.”

“Don’t know if this is Ed’s scene,” I tease her. “He seems more like a laid-back pub sort of guy.”

“You’re so right,” she still peers around us. “You hoping to see any celebs here? This one’s the biggest so far I’ve heard.”

His face pops into my head but I slam my guard down. “I’ll be lucky just to find a cute guy.”

“Two of you?” The bouncer asks Jules as we make our way to the front-she looked twelve, and we finally head inside. We’d stepped into a storybook.

Vines and tiny lights covered the ceiling and floors, rays of green and pink lights flash around us and the ground was littered with flower petals.

“Oh my god the seats are trees,” Jules whispers in my ear. This was insane.

“They probably have themed drinks,” I grab Jules’ hand and pull her to where I see the bar. We loved a good themed drink.

“This is amazing,” Jules shouts. “I think I just saw Adele!”

On a second look, we decide it was Adele’s doppleganger but we’re soon preoccupied by drinks. I order a Cosmic Boom and take another look around the open space. It was getting pretty full, people dancing but a lot of people hanging about talking.

Jules and I take our drinks to the dancefloor and enjoy ourselves. This was new all over-enjoying myself. I’d spent the last five months working hard at school, job searching, and then a bit of travel. But I was so busy convincing myself that if I worked hard enough I’d forget about the awful year I’d had. Would forget about Harry and the way he left me.

Nobody would believe it, but Harry Styles was my boyfriend for a solid year. We’d met when I was visiting Jules on set of some talk show. He’d been there, after his interview, and mistakened me for backstage crew. He asked me to show him where his room was. He’d been so embarassed when I told him I didn’t work there, but I volunteered to help him find it anyway. I was just killing time ‘til Jules was done.

We had gotten lost and ended up in this storage space where it was clear stage props were stored. We’d found half a car-cut clear through the middle and ended up sitting inside and talking. It was weird, just an hour before that, Harry Styles was this iconic and unattainable person who lived in the fantasy part of my brain. Sitting in the semi-dark with him, in a half-car, and being only a foot away, he was just another person. A regular bloke who was gorgeous, talking to me about his recent mother’s day disaster while I laughed and told him about something similar that had happened when I was a child.

It was quite silly to think we were going to leave that room the same way we walked into it.

He’d leaned in once quiet had settled down around us, both of us just watching the other, afraid that speaking would ruin the moment. His finger had ghosted my face, hesitating, asking me without really asking me. I’d leaned in the rest of the way to tell him it was okay. That’s when I knew I was a goner.

He was gentle with me, but also entirely self assured, leading the way. I couldn’t keep track of his lips or his hands but every part of my body was alive and I lived entirely in the moment for him.

He’d called me later that night asking if I wanted to have dinner at his place. We knew we had something good going. So we kept at it.

Until five months ago.

“Y/N?” Jules says in my ear. I snap out of my memories and look to where she’s pointing. And then back to her ecstatic face. There, sitting near the DJ was actually Ed Sheeran.

“Jules,” I say, lost for words. We had to do this now. We had to approach him, now or never.

“I can’t,” she says close to me. “I’m going to vom right now.”

“Come on!” I grab her and try to move her stiff body one step at a time until we’re only a couple feet away. That’s when the group he’s talking to shifts and I see Harry. Harry with a girl on his arm. My Harry.

“What’s wrong?” Jules halts as my own body goes rigid. “Don’t tell me you’ve got nerves now...oh hey isn’t that Harry?”

“Yeah...” my mouth was dry and I couldn’t believe it. He was here, I really didn’t think I’d see him ever again.

“I need to talk to you,” Harry says as I pour my morning coffee. It was the first week of my final semester so I was actually in a good mood, optimistic before all the deadlines hit. I never saw it coming.

“What’s up?” i was so innocent, drinking my coffee with no idea what else was brewing.

He takes the coffee cup from my hands and puts it down, gathering my hands in his. I notice his hands are slightly clammy, that was the first red flag.

“What’s wrong?” I ask again, the anxiety spiking up.

“No-nothing. I was just thinking about how I have to on tour for the next year. You’ve still got school to finish and a great big career ahead of you. I feel like I’m just going to hold you back and I-“

“That’s silly,” I interrupt. “You’d never...”

“I might. I’ll have tour and you’ll have school-“

“Hold on. Are you just trying to say...is it you who’ll hold me back or me who’s going to hold you back?” I asked, confused. How would Harry ever hold me back? I offered to go on legs of his tour with him when I could. I could do my work on the road. Nobody was going to hold anybody back

Harry opens his mouth to explain but I don’t let him get a word in. How dare he try to twist the situation. He should just say what he felt!

“Is that really it? I’m just a regular girl-next-door who’s run out of her luck with the famous superstar? She could never understand your fame, you could never want her in the public’s eye? Is that it? You’re too good for me? You can’t even think about going public with our rel-“

“Trust me you don’t want tha-“

“Don’t tell me what I want!” The coffee had curdled in my stomach and I felt like dry-heaving but I hold it together. I was so in love with this man, to think about living without him was painful beyond comprehension. But all he saw me as was deadweight. The realisation is crushing. “Just leave Harry. Just bloody leave then, I don’t want to see you! After all we had together I’m just deadweight to you? I’m going to hold you back? And yoy can’t eve be a man and say what you really want!”

He’d ruffled his hair, given some explanation, tried to tell me he loved me but I was somewhere else. My life felt like it was falling apart, and I had a lab to teach in a few hours. He was so bloody selfish. I decided I hated him.

“-show him who cares. Go right up and pretend you don’t even know who he is...” I wasn’t sure how long Jules was talking but she was right. I didn’t care about him. This was my night out.

Jules walks ahead and uses her charm to wriggle her way into the small conversation, inserting me right beside her. She knew the business, taking her time to talk to Ed Sheeran so as not to overwhelm him. In the meantime, my eyes catch Harry’s, and it’s like a movie line. Time slows down, I hear the breath I take and see the surprise register on his face. But I let my eyes skim past his, he meant nothing to me. Instead, they land on his girlfriend and that’s where I fight to hide the surprise.

There’s these photos I see online sometimes, you take a picture and draw it in your own style. His new girlfriend was kind of like that. She looked just like me, except slightly off. More like how I looked last year. Since then, I’d grown out my hair and let its natural colour grow in. But I nudge Jules and use my hair as a curtain, trying to tell her to look. She speaks my language so she sees right away and her eyes widen. She mouths oh my god.

I watch from the corner of my eye while pretending to be engaged by Jules introducing what she does to Ed Sheeran. Harry says something to his girl and she laughs. Jesus, even her smile was reminiscent of mine. I try not to stare, using my drink as a distraction but some small part of me-most of me is upset-but a small part of me feels like I’d won. Harry had told me I wasn’t good enough for him, and then gone out to find someone who looked just like me. That gives me the confidence I need to finally look him in the eye. It’s like he was tracking my moves because he looks at me too. He smiles and I just raise my eyebrows.

“Y/N,” he says in that deep silky voice of his. It carries across despite the noise. My heart squeezes.

“Harry,” I say. I let my eyes slide to his girlfriend and she raises a hand.

“Hi, I’m Katy.”

“Hi,” I smile, she’d done nothing wrong except look like me I guess. She looks up at Harry, waiting for him to introduce us. Ugh.

“And this is Y/N, she’s my best friend but she always says she never understands my absolute obsession with your music.” Jules from the right of me catches my attention. She was introducing me to Ed Sheeran-and exposing me.

“Okay. Ouch.” I give her a look which makes her laugh and shake Ed’s hand. Oh my god. “I’m definitely a fan, just not as big as Jules.”

“She’s more of an indie rock girl,” Harry’s deep voice comes from behind me and I’m surprised to find him standing right behind me.

Jules raises her eyebrow at him, glances at me while Harry and Ed talk before interjecting and resuming her conversation.

“I’d say I’m more of a pop girl.” I turn to Harry. I look for his girlfriend but she’d disappeared.

“But that’s not your guilty pleasure,” Harry says and I avoid the tingle in my stomach as he says it. “And Kat’s gone off with her friend, they saw Adele they want to get a picture.” I don’t bother to say it wasn’t Adele. “How’s it going with you?”

He has to lean in close to be heard and I find myself drawing closer to his orbit. I had to be careful here. I remind myself that I hated him.

“Same old,” I say. “I’ve graduated, now looking for full time work. Travelled a bit too.”

“You finally see those tourist traps you wanted to?”

I forgot how intimately Harry knew me, I wanted to forget how much history we shared. But it’s so painfully obvious now that that would be impossible. Even holding onto my hate was proving slippery.

“The Great Pyramids were better than the Eiffel Tower,” I reference an old conversation we’d had. “So I was right.”

This makes Harry laugh and the club narrows down to just us as he steps to the side with me to a quieter area.

We stand in silence for a moment, just watching each other, memorizing the details about each that time had blurred. Like the laugh lines around his eyes, or the depth to his eyes. It feels like he’s cheating with me, with how fiery and focused his gaze is on me. The unspoken words in his eyes.

“Harry I-“ I raise my hand to tell him I should go, I didn’t want anything to happen we would regret. But he takes my hand and puts it to his warm chest. The words leave my mouth as I look at him again. Really look at him. From afar he looked like he was doing better than he ever was but up close I notice the tired bags and the lost look in his eyes. It was the same one I saw in my own after we’d broken up.

This was ridiculous, I tell myself. He left me, I shouldn’t feel bad for him. I’d won. But I want to ask him about Katy, when he looked in her eyes, did he think of mine? And when he looked at her smile, did I cross his mind? I already knew that he saw me instead ‘cause she looks a lot like I did back then. I wanted to ask him and tell him not to lie.

“How are you doing?” I finally break and ask even though I want to ask, is she just a lookalike?

He looks away, his hand letting go of mine. His fake smile is back on his face as he performs for me once again. “Not too bad. I’ve got a break from tour right now so just layin’ low.”

I look around and point to the club around us. “Laying low?”

“Yeah,” Harry laughs at being caught. “My girlf-Katy-she really wanted to come out to one of these with her girlfriends. She convinced me to come along.”

I didn’t know what to say to that so I just smile. My phone buzzed and I see a text from Jules. I look for her in the crowd and she’s staring at me with a raised eyebrow. I give her the everything is okay smile and she looks relieved.

“Jules is overprotective as usual,” Harry notices. What did he expect, I think, when he’s the selfish arse who broke my heart. The small flame of anger reignites as I watch Jules smile at me with caring eyes.

“She just wanted me to hook up with a cute guy tonight,” I say to Harry. “Spending it with my ex kind of kills the vibe.”

There, I’d addressed the elephant in the room. And just as I suspected, Harry gets uncomfortable.

“So I take it you’ve not got a boyfriend?”

“Nope,” I cross my arms. “Was busy travelling...” and feeling depressed at home I don’t add.

“Right,” Harry straightens up. “Well don’t let me keep you Y/N. Sorry to...”

I look up at him, his pause. His apology seems to be about something bigger than keeping me from the rest of the club. But I don’t mention it. I don’t push it. Yes, I wanted to stay here in this corner of the club with him but I don’t want to make it a big deal. I give him a squeeze on the arm to tell him it was alright. He paints a smile on and I walk away even though I want to just stay.

I walk to Jules, tell her I’d get another drink for us. At the bar, waiting for our drinks, I notice Harry with Katy again, they’re dancing with her friends, she laughs, he pulls her closer.

That was us not long ago, before that morning chat. God. I really did hope, in his head, he saw me instead. Cause...he’d been in mine every day since then. I admit it, some nights, no almost every night...I still though about him. I tried to hide it, I did an amazing job at hiding it, but I couldn’t erase him from my mind. The thought almost makes me laugh as I get my drinks...maybe I just needed to find a lookalike.

#harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles #conan gray #lookalike #fic #writingsfromhome #sunset season

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i-am-just-a-kiddo · 3 years

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rules: create your own post and tag 9 people to get to know better or catch up with

thank you for tagging me in this, @vishcount, eventhough we catch up every day basically 💞 i am tagging @cortue, @sassyassassy and @the-cloud-whisperer! no pressure in answering these questions to such detail, just do however you feel like. (ED) i’m sorry i forgot to tag @intyalote because i wish to know you better too!

my ramblings under the cut:

last song listened to: Change (Feat. GRAY) (Prod. 코드 쿤스트 CODE KUNST) by Kid Millie

code kunst is one of my absolute favourite musical artists and i always discover new projects he was part of. this one is my recent favourite, i’ve just been listening to it up and down the past few weeks so my youtube shuffle automatically plays this.

last movie watched: The Yin Yang Master (2021)

just like vishie, this was the last movie i watched and i think overall it was very fun? i found it very cute and entertaining in its world-building, as well as the visual design. also chen kun as qingming truly.....hits differently, wow. so it was hard to keep my cool about him because somehow he is way too stunning in my eyes. i also enjoyed the found family trope? it was very sweet. but as vishie noted too, the movie did not leave much place for the characters to develop properly so it would have deserved more time in that department. i was not that attached to any of them because the movie focused more on the plot happening than the character driven story. also funny how the yin yang master: dream of eternity was a wonderful gay feast while this movie just pulled the no homo card lol

currently reading: When The Light Of The World Was Subdued, Our Songs Came Through, A Norton Anthology of Native Nations Poetry (Ed. Joy Harjo, Leanne Howe, Jennifer Elise Foerster and more)

i wished for this book for christmas and finally received it a few weeks ago. the past two years i’ve mostly been reading poetry (if you leave out readings for university) and i really want to educate myself on native cultures and their past. i think this is an amazing book that has a long introduction about its creation and the choices made on how the poems should be assembled. i love how so many different voices across geography, time and ages gets presented and i am excited to read more. apart from that, i am just waiting for uni taking up all my reading space again.

currently craving: a cold beer?

since yesterday the weather has been so incredibly lovely and spring-like, i just want to go sit outside in the park or by the river and have a beer with someone. might do that tomorrow? i am feeling the holiday vibes. (also i am hungry so i should probably cook soon hmm)

current project: uni and fic ideas (and a fishtank?)

for uni i will need to hold a presentation about materiality in viennese modern designs during 1880-1930. i have this ceramic vessel by dagobert peche as my topic and i’m excited to dive into it because i am not well-versed in viennese art in general? and from what i’ve seen from his designs he took a lot of inspiration from japanese ceramics and chinese brush paintings which fits me past studies. also the question of materiality has never been the biggest focus in my studies so i am curious what will come of it, especially since our course leader wants to get us into the exhibition and hold the presentation in front of the actual object, which i have never done before (thanks covid).

i have some fic ideas which i want to get into but right now they are more vague concepts - i’ve been doing some research on korea during the 1880s-1890s for some very loosely dorian gray inspired au, but let’s see if this will take any reasonable shape. i’m also thinking about more wen ning & song lan content and maybe, possibly, some wen kexing character study? let’s see. am slowly getting back to writing and i am lowkey proud.

and yes, i want to get a fishtank in our flat. i am so ready to have one again and my flatmates agreed so there is nothing standing in my way

current mood: tired but content

i overslept my first alarm today so i had a very stressful morning (it usually takes ages for me to get out of bed) and i did most of my first lecture but then decided to ditch it to hang out with my flatmates which was the best decision tbh. i also skipped the second lecture to hang out with them and go on a walk later to enjoy sunshine? so i think this day was very much successful on the social part. i even had ice cream.

current wish: for my writing to return from war

i’ve lamented about this for the past few months on here, but it truly is weighing down my heart a lot. i just miss writing okay. i know i shouldn’t be hard on myself and accept that i need a break too, because indeed - i can’t force it and there is no need in beating myself up. but it still hurts because there is always something missing. i think the past two weeks i have been feeling a little bit more ready to return to it? though i truly need to be understanding with myself if it doesn’t work as i want it to.

currently learning: materiality, persian book art and queer theory

as mentioned above, i have one course about materiality in arts, crafts and designs, focused on 1880-1930 vienna. i am also attending a lecture about persian book art from the 14th century onwards, though i have taken so many lectures with this professor already, i feel like he is repeating himself so much? i hope i will learn something new at least, so far it feels like i’m hearing the topics for the third time. and then i have a lecture about queer theory which is exactly my crowd - the people, the professor and the discussions give me so much and bring all these topics that i think about in my free time into a theoretical and scientific realm? so it’s nice to study these things in a systematic way - as systematic as it’s possible with a topic such as queer theory. this lecture just makes me feel seen and also allows me to get a broader sense of understanding how these studies developed.

something that makes you proud: my niemo oneshot and my social activities

last week i wrote a short snippet for nie huaisang/mo xuanyu and it was the first time i had written in ages? so i feel very proud of it. and something i have been proud of lately is that i manage to be socially active a lot without feeling like all my energy has been sucked out of me? i am genuinly having fun being with people - of course it exhausts me a lot and i take breaks, but all in all it truly got easier socialising ever since i started taking my meds. my anxiety levels aren’t as high as they used to be and it helps me appreciate the presence of other people in a completely new way. this allows me not to feel like i am running away when i take time for myself.

if you’ve read all of this, thank you! this was a fun little something

#nice #i just came from a walk and thought yes #this is the perfect thing to do before i cook something #thank you for tagging me despite knowing most of it already lol #personal #tag game

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dawninlatin · 4 years

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Haste

A Feysand Modern AU One Shot

Words: 4433

AO3 Link

Masterlist

Summary: Feyre comes back home after quitting college and breaking up with her boyfriend. During a night out, she starts seeing her friend Rhys in a new light. (Warning: There is some smut by the end)

The title comes from the song “Haste” by RY X, and if you wanna vibe, I suggest you go listen to it:)

A/N: Sorry for how long this note is, guess I had a lot to say, lol. This is actually the first fic I ever wrote, but I wanted to repost it, because I had only posted the AO3 link before, and wasn’t happy with that format. I would like to take this opportunity to thank all my amazing followers and readers!<3

When reading through this fic, there were so many things I wanted to change, (like, why did I think it was a good idea to have every other word written in italics?? And I’m so sorry for the cheesy dialogue and suuuuper long paragraphs...), but I decided to keep it as it was, because it shows how far I’ve come from that day in February where I sat up half the night writing, thinking that no one would ever read this, because my English wasn’t good enough, and my writing wasn’t good enough.

Yet I still posted it, and the response I got was more than I ever expected! This, along with all the other response I’ve gotten on all my other fics, has helped me so much with my writing, but more importantly, has helped me become the person I am today. So thank you so much, to everyone who takes the time to read, to everyone who likes, and reblogs, and leaves comments, and keep encouraging me! Thank you to all you wonderful people I have gotten to know on this app, tumblr has become a second home for me! From the bottom of my heart, I love y’all!<3<3<3

This was not how Feyre had pictured her night. Had she been the one to decide, it would consist of greasy pizza, a bottle of tequila and some crappy rom-com. Feyre had gotten as far as scrolling through Netflix in search for one, when her best friend Mor walked in the door of the apartment and declared that Feyre better get her ass of that couch, take a fucking shower and put on some decent clothing, because they were going out.

Feyre hadn’t felt like she was in the right position to protest; it was Mor’s couch she’d been occupying for the past week after all. Had it been a week already? she wondered. A week since Feyre had finally broken up with her asshole boyfriend Tamlin and then jumped on a bus to California, because the only person in the world she wanted to be with then was Mor. She had felt the need to share this victory with the only person that could always make her feel better. Of course, the high had ended as soon as she stood on Mor’s doorstep, where she had taken one look at her best friend and turned into a sobbing mess. That was about how she had spent the following week as well. She didn’t want to cry over the bastard, but he had been part of her life for the past two years, and she had loved him. Once.

So instead of spending the night on Mor's couch, wallowing in self pity, Feyre now found herself standing in the middle of a dance club crowded with drunk, sweaty people, playing way too loud music - the blinking lights making her dizzy. She had borrowed one of Mor’s dresses - and though this was considered modest in Mor’s eyes - she found herself constantly pulling at the black fabric, not comfortable with how much thigh it showed off.

Feyre scanned the room, trying to find her friend, and as she was about to declare the task impossible, she eyed a red dress and a head of blond curls. Mor was elbowing her way through the crowd, drinks in hand, accompanied by two men Feyre recognized. The tall, muscular one with shoulder-length, dark hair and a cocky smirk was Cassian, and the slightly shorter one with a shy smile was Azriel.

As they approached her, Cassian went in for a one-armed hug. «It’s good to see you Feyre!» He grinned at her, and she found herself grinning back despite her unhappy mood earlier. She really had missed these people.

«Hi Feyre, you look well!» Feyre looked up to see Azriel smiling at her, accompanied by an awkward wave. He was more of the quiet, observing type of guy, but that was exactly what Feyre liked so much about him. He was quiet, yes, but the silence was never uncomfortable.

«You as well, Azriel.» She smiled back at him, then turned towards Mor, who handed her a drink.

«Don’t look so shy Feyre. You look amazing tonight!» Mor winked at her, then gestured to the rest of the club. «You should have seen all the guys eyeing you when we walked in. Actually…if you hadn’t been my best friend, and straight-» she made a disappointed face at that, which made their whole group laugh, including Feyre, «-I totally would have slept with you.» Feyre laughed even more at that, but Mor was right. She felt good tonight. Sexy, even. She felt something she hadn’t felt in a long way. She was excited for what the night - the future - would bring.

«I might not wanna sleep with you, but I think that brunette at the bar wants to.» Feyre nodded her head towards the young woman ogling her friend.

«Hell yes!» Mor exclaimed. She put her arms around Feyre and Azriel’s shoulders. «Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, we’re gonna get laid!»

«Cheers to that!» Cassian laughed, lifting his drink. As Feyre sipped hers, she felt light, almost giddy, with excitement and joy. At the same moment, she noticed someone was missing from their small gathering. Rhys.

She couldn’t fathom how she hadn’t noticed before. Mor’s annoying cousin was difficult to ignore whenever he was present. The prick always teased, always came with innuendos, or witty remarks. He had the biggest ego Feyre had ever encountered. Still, Feyre found herself to be missing Rhysand’s snarky comments and their never-ending banter. Before she had time to stop herself, she spoke the sentence: «Hey guys, where’s Rhys?»

Cassian wiggled his eyebrows at her, but she chose to ignore him. «He’s coming later. Had to work overtime» Mor answered. Feyre nodded, before quickly switching the subject over to their plans for the rest of the summer.

As soon as they had some alcohol in their blood, Feyre and her small group of friends moved on to the dance floor. Feyre was jumping around, singing along to whatever song they were blasting, joking and laughing with Mor and Cassian, teasing Azriel for not wanting to join them. They looked like idiots, but they were happy idiots. She could feel the heavy bass in her whole body, along with her beating heart. She was so, so happy . Happier than all of last year combined. Hell, she hadn’t been this happy since high school, when she, Mor, Cassian, Azriel, even Rhys, had been together almost every day. Always laughing, joking. But that had been before Tamlin, and before she had been stupid enough to move halfway across the country for college.

Feyre scolded herself for thinking about Tamlin again. The point of tonight was to forget him. To have fun. And she was having fun, and she was happy. So happy that at any moment she could grow wings and disappear into the night. She had no worries. No worries of the home she had left behind, or college, or her ex-boyfriend, or what tomorrow would bring. She was here, now, and she felt fucking amazing.

Feyre heard Cassian greet someone, and turned just in time to meet a pair of shockingly blue eyes. Rhys. Her breath caught, her heart thundering in her chest, and she found herself not being able to look away. He held her gaze, refusing to be the first to break eye contact. Feyre didn’t know if it was the lights, the music, the alcohol, the warm summer night, still young and full of possibilities, or the feeling of finally being free, but it was as if she was seeing him for the first time.

Had he always been this handsome? she asked herself, taking in his lean, muscular form, his tight-fitting jeans, the white shirt opened just enough to show off the tattoos swirling across his chest. She stared at his sharp jawline, his soft lips, his eyes, so blue they were practically glowing, his dark, messy hair. Oh, how she wanted to run her fingers through his hair.

A cough from Mor made Feyre tear her eyes away at last. I must be drunker than I thought , she mused. This was Rhys she was thinking about. The man who annoyed her to no end. The man who was known for his many hook-ups and one night stands and flirts and just- argh.

«How nice of you to finally show up,» Cassian said as he threw an arm around Rhys’ shoulder and handed him a drink. Rhys made a comment that had Cassian roaring with laughter, but Feyre didn’t hear what it was, because Rhys was looking at her with such an intensity that it made her insides tingle. Stop it, she thought. You had a boyfriend just a week ago.

«Hey Feyre. It’s good to see you again.» Rhys smiled at her, but it wasn’t his usual cocky smirk. It almost looked a little sad. Feyre suddenly found the floor very interesting, not being able to keep herself from blushing or biting her lip. She could feel his eyes on her. Burning. Then Mor shouted «Who wants shots?», and the moment was over.

The night went on. They drank, they danced, they talked about college and hook-ups and high school. Feyre almost wanted to cry at the feeling of how familiar it all was. She had been afraid that her moving to Boston would change everything - and it had, for a little while - but she was back now, and everything was normal. Except for Rhys, maybe. Something had definitely changed between the two of them.

Gone was the teasing and never-ending banter. In its place was something brand new. They hadn’t said anything to one another except for pleasantries for the entirety of the evening, but Feyre caught him staring at her constantly, with this sad, longing look in his eyes. And to be honest, she hadn’t been able to keep her eyes off of him either.

Right now, they were all sitting at the bar, watching Cassian stick his tongue down the throat of some random blonde on the dance floor. Mor suddenly stood up, announcing she was gonna go try her luck with the woman she had been flirting with all night.

«Come on, Azriel. You’re gonna be my wingman.» His protest died on his lips as More pulled him after her.

All there was left, was Feyre and Rhys. Not able to meet each others eyes.

But Feyre was feeling brave this night. It might have been the alcohol, or the still-lingering high of having broken up with the asshole that had made her life miserable for the past year. She muttered a quiet «fuck it», downed her drink, stood up, and looked her friend straight in the eyes. «Do you wanna dance?»

Rhys’s face was lit up by a bright smile. «I thought you’d never ask, Feyre darling.» Her insides warmed at the familiar nickname, and she found herself smiling just as brightly. Rhys took her hand, leading her to the dance floor, where some old EDM shit was playing.

Feyre didn’t care about the bad music, or the bright lights, or the sweat coating her body. She was here with Rhys. His body was so close now, and she could smell his all-familiar scent of citrus and sea.

She lost track of how long they danced. None of them were any good at it, but they were laughing and having fun. Feyre felt 17 again, jumping around, sweaty and drunk, but happy. «God, I missed this!» she exclaimed, grinning at Rhys, just as the fast rhythms and heavy bass switched over to a slow ballad.

Hesitantly, Feyre glanced at Rhys, suddenly feeling shy and unsure. He raised his eyebrows in a silent question. She understood what he meant immediately, and nodded, biting her lip. Rhys stepped closer, and put his arms around her waist. She placed hers around his neck, swaying along with the music.

She looked at the man in front of her. Really looked at him this time. How had she not noticed before, how strikingly beautiful he was? His sharp angles, kissable lips, silky hair, the blue eyes she could get lost in if she stared for too long. Said eyes were taking in her just as intensely at the moment.

«You are so beautiful tonight, Feyre.» His voice was hoarse, laced with restraint. Feyre felt a longing, deep within herself. She wanted to tell him he was beautiful too, wanted to kiss him, wanted to cry, wanted to just leave, wanted to stay in his arms forever. She wanted to be his. She did neither, couldn’t find the courage to do so.

Instead, she stepped closer, and pressed her forehead against his, feeling his strained breath against her lips. Everything around them disappeared. The world narrowing down to the two of them, together, forehead against forehead, in the midst of a warm night in June.

Then the song ended, and the moment was over. Feyre stepped back, but she continued to hold his gaze. Rhys looked towards the exit. «Come, I wanna show you something.» He grabbed her hand, and then he was leading her through the crowd. They walked past Mor, who muttered a «fucking finally!» that made them both chuckle.

Outside, they were surrounded by warm, summer air, a chill breeze running over their exposed skin. Rhys looked at Feyre with mischief in his eyes. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach.

«What exactly was it that you wanted to show me?» she asked, not being able to hide her curiosity.

«You’ll see, just trust me.» Rhys looked giddy with excitement. He was bouncing on his feet now. «Follow me, we don’t wanna miss it.» Then he started walking. Fast.

«Miss what?» Feyre shouted after him, but he didn’t answer. Rhys just kept on walking, and she struggled to keep up with him. «I have shorter legs than you, remember? And I’m currently in heals, which puts me at an unfair disadvantage.» He stopped a few steps ahead, an amused look on his face.

«We have to wait a few minutes now,» he announced, all serious. Feyre looked around where they were standing, a few blocks away from the club. The whole city was sleeping. The sight of the quiet, empty streets bewitching.

Then a bright, yellow bus stopped in front of them. Also empty. She followed Rhys onto it, confusion growing more and more. «The bus? Where exactly are we going?»

The puzzled look on Feyre's face made him chuckle. «I swear, the mystery will be worth it once we get there. Now, we could have walked, but then we would miss it.» He must have seen the question forming on her lips, because he raised a finger. «And no, I still won’t tell you what it is.»

She rolled her eyes and muttered a quiet «prick». The nickname made him laugh, and she laughed with him, because Feyre hadn’t called him that since high school. It had been way too long since they’d been together like this. Still, under all the joking and laughing, there was an unfamiliar tension that hadn’t been there before.

After only five minutes, Rhys announced that they had reached their destination. He stepped out onto the street, and led Feyre towards a beach. The sight in front of her was breathtaking. The dark waves crashing against the sand, the sky - the nearing dawn making it a deep pink - birds flying over their heads, and Rhys, who had taken off his shoes and started walking towards the ocean. Feyre followed him, slipping out of her heels. The moment she felt the familiar California sand under her toes again, she laughed with joy. A rich and warm sound she hadn’t made in forever.

Rhys, who was standing in the water now, looked up at her, the same bright smile on his face. He waved at her to hurry up, and she walked the final steps to him. The sea was warm, and the salty smell of it was amazing. It was home. She looked towards the horizon, where the sun barely had begun to rise. Then she looked up at Rhys again.

«The sunrise. That’s what you wanted to show me.» Rhys only nodded, before looking ahead of them. Feyre took in the sight again, and she felt something she hadn’t felt in a long time. She wanted, no, she needed to paint.

Her thoughts were disturbed by Rhys, who was now sitting in the sand, jeans cuffed up to his knees. «Come sit with me, Feyre.» He patted the spot next to him.

Feyre stepped back and sat down, feeling the waves crash against her legs. She looked to Rhys, and said the only thing that could come to her mind with a playful smirk on her lips. «How did your dad take it when he found out his only son was gonna major in English, and not business?»

Rhys grimaced. «He was pissed at first, even threatened to write me out of his will, but he came around - eventually.» They chuckled at that, both knowing how angry Rhys’ father could get, but also how he always gave in when it came to his children. «How about you? How’s all the art stuff going?» Rhys asked, his eyebrows raised in question.

«Urgh,» Feyre cringed, «I dropped out in March, haven’t touched a paint brush since.» She should have been sad or ashamed when admitting that, but she felt good, knowing she had made the right choice. She had been miserable in Boston.

Rhys looked at her, concern lining his face. «That bad, huh?»

«What can I say? Boston sucked, and I would much rather be here, with you guys.» She grinned at him, and he grinned back.

«So you’re back for good now?» Feyre only nodded, turning back towards the rising sun.

The sight in front of her was hypnotizing. «I didn’t realize how much I’ve really missed home.» The words were out before she managed to think. Rhys only hummed quietly beside her. Seemingly lost in his own thoughts. Feyre turned towards him. His eyes were closed, a small smile on his lips. «What’s on your mind?» she wondered out loud.

Rhys opened his eyes then, and looked at her. «A thought for thought?» he suggested. She smiled at the reminder of the little game they used to play when they were younger. «I can begin,» he continued.

He looked towards the horizon again, taking a deep breath. «I’m thinking that when I walked into the club tonight, I was so happy to see you, because you were so happy. You were dancing and laughing and I thought that finally we had gotten our Feyre back. After you left for Boston, and after you met him, it was as if you disappeared.» Feyre tried to swallow the lump in her throat. He sounded wounded, almost. Did he really care about her that much?

«You visited, of course, but it was like a stranger had replaced you. You were a shell of who you once used to be. You stopped laughing, stopped making inappropriate jokes, and I missed you. God, I missed you so much.» Feyre felt like she might cry at his words, but she didn’t. All she did was stare ahead, and take his hand. She squeezed it, encouraging him to continue. He squeezed back.

«As I said, when I saw you tonight, I was sure we had gotten the old Feyre back. Mor told me what had happened in Boston - why you were back - and I was sure that everything would return to normal between us.» He took a break, clearly anxious of saying what was next.

«But everything isn’t back to normal. Something has changed. I can feel it, and I think you can too.» He looked at her now, that intense longing once again in his eyes. She met his gaze, and suddenly felt brave enough to say:

«I can feel the change too, yes, but I think it’s a good change.» Then she leaned in, and kissed him.

Rhys went completely still at first, and Feyre was afraid that she had misunderstood their conversation. Then he seemed to realize what was happening. He put one arm around her waist, the other tangling in her hair, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss.

His lips tasted salty, she thought, but sweet at the same time. She could get drunk on him alone. Feyre was breathless, and dizzy, but she decided this was the best feeling in the world.

She was kissing Rhys.

He pressed his tongue against her lips, and she opened up for him, moaning at the sensation. She put her hands in his hair, slightly pulling at it. The silky strands feeling soft in her fingers.

Kissing Rhys was everything, but at the same time it was not enough. She needed more. Needed to be closer, needed to feel more of him. She pulled away slightly, breathless, heart thundering, blood rushing in her ears. Rhys looked at her, just as breathless, a hungry gleam in his eyes. «How far is it to your place?» He only smirked in answer.

Rhys stood up, picking Feyre up with him. She laughed as he almost dropped her, then she wrapped her legs around his waist. He didn’t walk far before they reached a small house. Rhys put her down, pulled a pair of keys out of his pocket, and unlocked the door.

Feyre marveled at the place as they stepped inside. It was small, but it was stunning. Large glass windows facing the ocean, green plants covering every available surface, and several over-filled bookshelves. She turned to look at Rhys, who had stopped in the doorway, staring at her taking in his place, surprise clearly written on her face. She took a step towards him. Then another. And another, until their mouths crashed together again.

Rhys moved his lips over her jaw, down her throat, her neck. Feyre moaned, struggling to get his shirt off fast enough, both minds clouded with lust and the haste to be as close together as possible. Skin to skin.

She finally managed to open the last button, pulling off the fabric. Feyre took in his muscled, tan chest and the many tattoos covering it. She leaned forward, and pressed her lips to the spot right above his heart. She could feel it hammering beneath his skin. She moved upwards, ghosting them over his collarbone, his neck, his throat, his jawline, then finally his lip.

Rhys grabbed her face, kissing her with such an intensity it made her dizzy. She was about to start fumbling with his belt when Rhys pulled away. «Are you sure you want this?» he asked, all out of breath, voice cracking, and Feyre would have thought his consideration and worry to be cute, had she not been so desperate to press her naked body against his. So she only nodded, and stepped back to pull her dress over her head. She wasn’t wearing a bra.

That seemed to be the end of Rhys' restraint. He took a step towards her, grabbed her under her thighs, and hoisted her up so she was sitting with her legs around his waist. Feyre moaned at the feeling of him pressing against her, hard and ready, and she felt a warm throbbing between her own legs.

Feyre let out a breathy «why the hell do you still have pants on?» that made Rhys chuckle. She felt the sound moving through his whole body. He walked across the room, laid her down on the bed and quickly got rid of his pants. Feyre almost drooled at the sight of his large cock. She reached out a hand and stroked him through the thin fabric of his boxers. Rhys groaned at the feeling, and leaned over her, placing his mouth on one of her nipples.

It felt exquisite. Rhys, his wandering hands, her body tingling with sensation, his hot mouth on her skin. She needed more, more, more. Feyre pulled his cock free, and he kicked of his underwear. One of his hands reached the band of her own panties, a finger dipping into her core, then slowly circling her clit.

It was too much and not enough and she needed more. Rhys slid off her underwear, and all of a sudden there was nothing between them. «Do you have a condom?» Feyre didn’t know how she managed to form words at this point, but he reached behind her and grabbed one. Feyre took it and rolled it on him, while his mouth explored every inch of her breasts, and his hand slowly stroked the bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs.

Feyre needed him inside her, now. She lined his cock up with her entrance, then she looked him in the eyes. He took her hint, slowly, oh so slowly, pushing himself in, not breaking eye contact.

Feyre moaned at the feeling of him filling her, widening her. He was thick and warm and it felt amazing. She pulled his mouth to hers, and he pressed his tongue inside her, filling her in two places. He pulled out slightly, then pushed in to the hilt this time. Rhys groaned at the sensation, his hand still drawing circles over her clit.

It felt so good, she was seeing stars. The wave inside her rising and rising with no end as Rhys picked up his pace, slamming to the hilt and hitting that magic spot every. damn. time.

Words like more or faster or deeper filled the warm air around them. Rhys buried his head between her shoulder and neck, moaning her name. Feyre felt her pussy clench around him, nearing that sweet, sweet edge. «Rhys, I need to…»

He seemed to understand what she meant, because he went even faster, fingers pressing down against her clit, and fuck it felt so good! His eyes met her eyes, his forehead pressed against her forehead, and she felt his words as a breath against her lips. «Come, Feyre.»

Those words pushed her over the edge immediately, wave crashing over her like nothing ever had before. It lasted a lifetime. That sweet, unending pleasure. She clenched around him again and again, until he started losing control, losing rhythm, and at last he came with her, groaning.

When it was over, the world around them went quiet. The sun was shining through the curtains, a new day beginning, Rhys collapsed on top of Feyre, stroking her disheveled hair away from her face. «That was…» she didn’t know how to end that sentence. She wanted to stay here with him forever. Just the two of them. Skin to skin.

Rhys looked at her, amusement coloring his face. «Intense?» he suggested. Feyre chuckled, tapping her fingers against his chest. He pulled out, turned on his back, taking her with him, so that she lay on his chest, ear placed right over his heart.

«I was gonna go with best sex of my life, but intense works too I guess.» He laughed at that. A warm, loud laughter that she could feel in her whole body. He kissed the top of her head, and pulled a blanked over them.

As Feyre lay there, feeling Rhys draw slow circles on her back, listening to the waves, letting the steady beat of his heart and the sound of his even breaths lull her to sleep, she knew that nothing would ever be the same after this night. She felt almost electric with excitement over what the rest of the summer would bring. One thing she was sure of, Rhys would be part of it.

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