#i wrote this for me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

is-emily-real · 5 months

Text

the souls who barter their pain for sweet relief

TW: suicidal ideation

Steve was on the edge again, staring down into the murky water and praying the dirt would crumble beneath him. That would be easier, wouldn’t it? It’s easier if it’s not his choice. He just doesn’t have to fight as hard as he used to.

What was fighting for, if he didn’t have a safe place to return to? If he couldn’t guarantee that someone would care that he was gone?

He didn’t have friends anymore. He didn’t really have parents, never did, and the more he found out about himself, the further away they were. He could get their attention, tell them the truth and piss them off, goad his dad into killing him. At least it would be over. Maybe he’d be free then.

The December wind blew cold. It was pointless anyway. His whole life would just be this, looking over the edge of a cliff and waiting for someone to push him.

“Very lovely morning,” a cool voice drawled behind him. He turned.

The man took a drag on his cigarette, smoke curling like the dark hair framing his face. Red cheeks contrasted against a pale neck, and as another gust hit, he tucked further into his leather jacket.

Steve recognized him from school. “I suppose.”

Eddie Munson peered at the gray sky above them. “Missed you in Johnson’s earlier.”

“Did you?”

“Of course. It’s always a poor day when King Steve doesn’t grace us with his presence.”

He grimaced. “Hardly King Steve anymore.” The nickname left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“Maybe.” Tobacco crackled as it turned to ash at his fingertips.

“What are you doing out here?” He wanted to brood in peace.

“I could ask you the same question.” Eddie fixed him with curious brown eyes, waiting for an answer. He was beautiful when he wasn’t standing on a chair across the lunchroom.

And that was the whole problem.

Steve looked away, squirming under his gaze. “Didn’t feel like being there.”

“Probably for the best. You know how she is.”

The silence lingered until Steve couldn’t bear it any longer. “How’d you know I was here?” he asked.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Eddie shrug. “You’re not as inconspicuous as you feel.”

He frowned.

“Besides,” he said, “I’ve been here a time or two.”

It shouldn’t have shocked him as much as it did. “Have you?”

“They call me fag for a reason.” Eddie tossed what was left of his cigarette over the edge, watching until it became too small to see. “Long way down.”

“That’s the point.”

Slender fingers wrapped around his wrist, pulling him until he no longer faced the edge. The look in Eddie’s eyes was indecipherable as he picked up Steve’s hands, rubbing them between his own. “How long have you been outside?”

He shrugged, consumed by the way his fingers tingled as his blood began to flow into them again.

“Be a shame to die cold, wouldn’t it?”

He couldn’t answer. He hadn’t given it that much thought, more swept up in the want than worried about the nature.

Eddie laced their hands together. “Come on,” he said, tugging him along, and eventually, they had the treeline between them and the quarry. Before he knew it, he was shoved into the back of a dingy van. Hints of tobacco and weed hit his nostrils as he sucked in warmer air.

How long had he been out there? What time was it? He shivered, coming back to his senses when a blanket draped around his shoulders. A shard of something like shame pierced his stomach. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“It’s alright.” He pushed a flask into Steve’s hand. “Have some. Takes the edge off.”

He drank. The whiskey was like fire in his mouth, making him cough, but it burned as it went down. For that, he was grateful.

Eddie plucked the flask from his hands, taking a swig before stowing it away somewhere. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Not yet.”

Eddie nodded and leaned back against the carpet. His eyes flicked back and forth.

Steve followed them up. On the ceiling, white flecks danced against a dark blue. As he stared, the patterns started to become apparent. Constellations resided above them.

“It’s pretty,” he commented.

“Took a while to do. I tried to put the Great Wheel up there, but I couldn’t make it look like it did in my head.” When he didn’t respond, Eddie continued. “Stars have always been comforting, just that idea that there’s something else out there and we’re not all alone in the universe.”

“What if there isn’t?”

“Then all we’ve got is each other.” He let that resonate, let the silence grow comfortable.

Steve looked away from the stars to study the lines of his face. His eyes were closed, long lashes resting against his cheeks. He traced the slope of his nose down to round, chapped lips. A 5 o’clock shadow ghosted across his jaw.

“How did you know?” The question was out before he knew it, and as much as he wanted to take it back, there was a thrill to leaving it to hang in the air.

Eddie didn’t open his eyes. “I always figured I was different, but I wasn’t sure until a girl kissed me on a dare in the sixth grade and all I could think about was how much better it would have been if she was her brother.”

“Oh.”

“Do you know? For sure?”

Steve flinched. “Why…?”

A smile quirked the corner of Eddie’s mouth. “You wouldn’t ask if you didn’t have questions.”

He stared at his hands. “Huh. Um… no. I don’t.”

“Did you love Nancy?”

“Yeah.”

“But?”

Something inside twisted. “But it always felt like something was missing. Then, when she left, it hit me that I didn’t have to pretend anymore.”

“I, uh, heard that argument,” Eddie said sheepishly.

“Oh, God,” he groaned.

“I’m pretty sure it was just me, though. The most valuable teen in Hawkins dragging his pissed girlfriend to the bathroom at a party? That’s just free entertainment, as long as you’re sober enough to know it’s happening.”

He shook his head, fighting off a smile. “At least someone enjoyed it.”

“I’d say it’s in the top three best break-ups in Hawkins.”

That startled a laugh out of him. Eddie grinned, propping himself up on his elbows. His eyes sparkled with mirth.

It struck Steve again just how much he didn’t know about himself. It sent a pain through his heart, and his smile quickly faded. “How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“You always seem so carefree, y’know? You’re able to make a joke out of everything.” Eddie frowned. “Sorry if that’s a weird question.”

“No, I’m good with the weird questions, it’s just… You can’t tell I’m faking it?”

“No? If you’re faking it, you’re the best I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot of people try to fake happiness.”

There was that look he couldn’t decipher again. “You’ve looked? Like, truly looked?”

“I’ve tried.”

They stared at each other for a long moment. He watched the emotions play out on Eddie’s face, first questioning, then pleased, then mournful, flicking by in seconds as he tried to retain a neutral mask. Something akin to understanding settled over him. “It’s pretty lonely up there in your head, isn’t it?”

He had a knack for hitting the nail on the head. Steve felt exposed under his gaze, but somehow it was relieving, like someone was truly seeing him at his core. That was answer enough.

“Nobody’s gonna tell me anything I haven’t heard,” Eddie commented, “so why would I get angry? Better to put it towards something else.”

“I guess.”

A little line formed between his brows. “Who are you mad at?”

It was an innocuous question, but it made him think. Was it his parents for putting him here? Was it Nancy for forcing the confrontation onto him? Was it God for making him this way?

“Me, I think.”

“Why?”

“Because I feel like this. Because I can’t just be normal.” Tears pricked his eyes. “And I know it doesn’t matter, I do, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.” He let his eyes unfocus, stared at the shape his hands became. “I could end it. I’m just too much of a coward.”

Arms wrapped around him, held him tight as his chest shook with sobs. He cried until he couldn’t breathe, let himself break down for the first time in a long time, all the while feeling the small circles being rubbed into his back.

He tried to pull himself together. “I’m sorry,” he gasped, pulling out of Eddie’s grip. “I shouldn’t—”

“No.” It was soft but fierce. “You’re allowed to feel the way you do.”

Calloused fingers swiped away his tears, holding his face until he finally looked him in the eye.

His eyes were steady, more serious than he’d ever seen from Eddie, and the air practically crackled under the intensity. “There is nothing wrong with you. Nothing. I mean it.”

Steve’s heart raced, too aware of the limited distance between them. “But—”

“Listen to me. You’re amazing. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met. I know your parents, I know your friends, they’re assholes, alright? You’ve come this far. Don’t give up on me yet.”

It was overwhelming, driving a wedge between his ribs and pushing, splitting him apart. “You don’t mean that.”

Sorrow clouded his face. “I do. I promise.”

Somewhere, deep in his chest, Steve wanted to believe him. He nodded, lacking confidence, then nodded again when the barest hint of a smile blossomed on Eddie’s lips. He wanted the grin back, wanted Eddie to be pleased with him, wanted to show him that he’d be okay despite his moments of weakness. He wanted to lay all his cards out, be honest in a way he’d never been.

“Can I tell you something really embarrassing?” was all he could manage.

Eddie nodded but didn’t let him go, either to encourage him or make sure he didn’t run. It really could have gone either way.

“You’re the reason I even questioned it.”

He heard the way Eddie swallowed, felt the slight tremor in his hands, watched his gaze dance between his eyes and lips. “Feel like testing your theory?” There was a little shake in his voice. It was endearing.

Steve leaned forward before he could second-guess himself.

It was soft, chaste, sweet, made his stomach flip and his head feel airy. He could feel the darkness pull away, sense its tendrils release from where they’d bound his mind and heart. It dulled the pain that had overwhelmed him and sent a tidal wave of calm through his veins. He could feel it in his shoulders, feel the knots loosen and the muscles relax.

He wouldn’t apologize for wanting this, not now, not when he’d finally found out how good freedom tasted.

He pulled back to study Eddie’s face. There was the smile he wanted, looking as giddy as he felt.

“The world didn’t end,” he commented, and Steve laughed.

Boisterous voices in the distance made them spring apart. He shrugged out of the blanket, setting it softly in Eddie’s lap. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.” As Steve reached for the door handle, he said, “Listen, if you need anything—”

“I’ll call.” He could hear the inflection, that little bit of flirt and charm that had escaped him recently, and he felt that things might be back on track for him.

“You don’t have my number.”

He glanced back over his shoulder. Eddie’s eyes were wide, hopeful, hands clutching the blanket and practically begging him to stay.

But they both knew what being caught meant, and the tentative peace Steve had made with himself didn’t need to be broken yet. “I’ll find it,” he assured him. With that, he let the moment fade, stepping back into the winter air.

As he walked back to his car, he noticed the cold didn’t bite as hard as it used to.

#tw: sucidal thoughts #steddie #isemilyreal on ao3 #I wrote this for me #the seasonal depression's been tough this year #take care of yourselves

43 notes · View notes

prettybillycore · 2 years

Text

We Can All be A Little Less Lonely | harringrove x reader [1/2]

Summary: Y/n Henderson is the older sister of Dustin and is a bit of an awkward high schooler. She's dating Jonathan, and from the outside, everything seems fine. But, in reality, you two don't get along. Will your relationship survive between your long-time crush on Steve Harrington and the new boy who's come to town, Billy Hargrove?

Pairing(s):

Steve Harrington/Reader/Billy Hargrove (harringrove x Henderson!reader)

Minor Jonathan/Reader

Minor Jonathan/Nancy

Word Count: 12.2k (Ik I went overboard)

Rating: Teen

Warnings:

- Canon Typical Violence

- the use of the word queer

- Possessive!Billy

- mentions of cheating

- Cigarettes

- alcohol/drunkness

- only about half-beta-ed as of the publishing date, but as I have more free time I'm going to correct like my random comma splices, for now, please forgive them.

⬇️ Read on AO3 ⬇️

right here on tumblr :3

There were three boys. They had all come into your life in different ways and had absolutely taken over your life—some for better, and some for worse. As a Henderson, you were shocked that you had gotten yourself into this mess.

Steve Harrington had been your longtime crush. You had become aware of the boy during your freshman year of high school. You were introverted like Johnathan and ended up gravitating toward him instead, even though Steve had caught your eye. He gave you the good kind of anxiety; the butterflies in your stomach, their smile makes you want to throw up sort of anxiety. You saw Steve as out of your league and didn’t get your hopes up that he would ever see you as anything other than a girl his friends bully. Besides, he started dating Mike’s sister Nancy. You felt like she was everything you wished you were. You felt like you couldn’t compete with her in any department. You were happy with your friend group and knew that Steve was probably an asshole just like the rest of them, but there was something about him that profoundly sparked your curiosity, though. You did your absolute best to ignore it, though. You had bigger things to worry about than your stupid crush on Steve Harrington.

By the end of your freshman year, you were dating none other than Jonathan Byers . He was kind, and your relationship was simple. His smile didn’t make your stomach do flips, but you thought his face looked adorable when he was at peace. His mom and brother loved you; from the outside, your relationship was absolutely perfect. On the inside, though, you two fought a lot. You wanted very different things in life, and at the first sign of stress, he’d shut you out. Will’s disappearance, the discovery of the Upside Down, and the appearance of Eleven were slowly breaking down your relationship. You both persisted on like everything was fine, but your brothers both knew it wasn’t. The Party had a pool on how long it would be before the two of you split up.

When Billy Hargrove came to town, you knew you were doomed. He was smug, silly, and good-looking. He was everything you were told to stay away from, and at first, you did. However, as time went on, you knew you were in trouble. It only took a week before the first butterflies hit your stomach. Billy and his little sister Max (who your brother wouldn’t admit he had a crush on, but he did) arrived in his Camaro. You were sitting on the hood of Jonathan’s car, and Billy tossed a wink in your direction. You showed nothing on your face; you gave him no satisfaction in your response. Your stomach was completing its own roller coaster track inside your body, but all you did was give him a deadpan stare and raise your eyebrow. Fuck, that’s the same feeling as Steve. Billy turned away from you, but that was when he became infatuated.

Jonathan removed his hand from the small of your back. Billy may not have seen through your expression, but Jonathan sure as hell did. “Really, Y/n?”

“What?”

“Him? He’s only been here like a week, and I can already tell he uses girls. He has sex with them and tosses them out. Why would you ever be interested in him?”

You rolled your eyes and leaned your chin on your hand, using it to support your head. “Oh, please, Johnathan. I don’t have any interest in him. I can tell he’s a douchebag. Besides, I’m dating you, aren’t I?”

“We both know I’m not your normal type, and that you can like multiple people.”

You huffed. You regret deeply ever expressing to Johnathan that you had feelings for Steve. He was very could with you being queer and polyamorous; he just asked for your relationship to be monogamous. You were cool with that, and you were glad you were honest with him about your sexuality, but you loathed yourself for mentioning your long-time crush on Steve. Whenever he was mad at you, he brought up that he was not your typical type, and if you had the chance, you would dump him for Steve… or someone like Billy. “Uncool, Johnathan. I would never cheat on you. We’re monogamous and I’m chill with that. I literally didn’t even blink when Billy winked at me.”

He sighed deeply, “whatever love, I’m gonna drop it. Just don’t turn your back on me, yeah?”

| < ♥️ > |

By Halloween, your relationship with Jonathan was crumbling. Your brother kept checking with you to see if you and Will’s older brother were still together. Every day you said yes and it seemed to genuinely surprise Dustin. It was clear neither of you were happy in your relationship, but it also seemed that neither of you were willing to admit that fact.

You were supposed to be spending Halloween trick-or-treating with the party + max, but Jonathan waved you to his car when you all met up. “You want to go to that house party?”

“Huh? Who’s going to watch the kids?”

“They can handle themselves for a night, they aren’t really kids anymore! Besides, we can go see, you know, people our age .” The way he phrased it gave you the ick, but you agreed and hopped in his car.

It didn’t take long before you two arrived at the party and you were immediately overwhelmed. It was loud, cramped, and the smell of alcohol was putrid. Nancy smiled at you and pulled Steve close behind her to meet you in the middle of the room. She opened her arms wide to hug you; it was the first time she had ever done that. She had always been sweet to you, but you hadn’t been close since you were little kids. It took you by surprise, and the drink she had in her hand splattered slightly on your back. You leaned in, and you could smell the alcohol on her breath. Your nose crinkled up at the scent, but you patted her on the back and tossed her a soft smile when she pulled away. You all had been through a lot; it was no surprise that she’d want a drink when one was offered. “Hey! I didn’t think you two were coming?” She asked.

Jonathan shrugged. “Change of plans.”

“Yeah…” You sighed. This was going to be such a long night. Why did I let Jonathan convince me that this was a good idea?

“Well, I’m sure we’ll be seeing you both around the party. Try to have some fun tonight; you’re normally both such squares,” Steve teased. He playfully tapped Jonathan on the shoulder.

You giggled, but Jonathan just rolled his eyes. “I think we’ll be staying sober, but we’ll still probably find a way to have some fun.”

Jonathan put his hand on the small of your back and you grimaced slightly. Was that what he wanted from this party? Steve raised his eyebrow in reaction. You couldn’t see his eyes because he had his sunglasses on, but you could see his body language change. Was he feeling protective? You were watching his expression closely, he was about to say something back, but he saw your eyes go wide at something, or rather someone behind him. Billy kept his eyes trained on you as he and his lackeys approached your group. Jonathan pulled you closer by your waist. Steve sighed when he turned his head to follow your eye line, only to realize you were watching Billy.

“We got ourselves a new Keg King, Harrington!”

“Yeah, that’s right!”

“Yeah eat it, Harrington!”

Steve took off his sunglasses and focused his concentration on Billy. Nancy, while Steve was preoccupied, started to slip away from your small group and headed back toward the kitchen for more alcohol. You tore your eyes away from Billy to put your hand up to Jonathan’s ear. “You go make sure Nancy doesn’t get into too much trouble, I’ll make sure Steve doesn’t get his ass kicked,” you whispered. Jonathan shot you a confused look. You motioned your eyes toward Nancy, she was feverishly drinking from a bowl of punch that was definitely spiked. “Make sure she doesn’t give herself alcohol poisoning. I would, but that would leave you stuck helping Steve and I know you’re not his biggest fan.”

“Whatcha chatting about there?” Billy taunted.

You pried Jonathan off of your skin. He looked Billy up and down before heading off toward Nancy. You turn your attention back to “Nothing that concerns you, Billy.”

He smirked. “Oh yeah? Well, I feel like it’s pretty unfair that you know my name, but I’ve never heard yours.”

“She’s a loser, Hargrove,” One of his friends said.

“Yeah she’s the toy of the freak’s brother,” Said the other.

“She plays that stupid dragons game with a bunch of middle schoolers for fun.”

“Hey, don’t call her a toy or a loser. Even if she is a little awkward at times, at least she’s kind, unlike you shitheads,” Steve cut in.

“Thanks, Steve, ‘appreciate it,” You replied quietly. Ouch, man, jocks are mean. Their comments killed any confidence you had.

“Shut up all of you!” Billy seethed. You jumped slightly from the tone and volume of his voice. You weren’t scared, just startled. It reminded you of Jonathan and you’s yelling matches. He seemed to notice your change in demeanor, “You two-” he motioned to the jocks, “leave the three of us to chat.”

“But Billy-”

Billy quickly put his hand up, signaling them to shut up, and they did. “Leave.” The jocks scattered.

He turned his attention back to Steve. “You know, Harrington, I hardly ever agree with you, but I am glad that you told them off. It shows you still have at least a little bit of a backbone.”

His eyes found yours. Your stomach began doing flips again. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. “Now where were we? Yes, your name. What’s your name doll?”

“Y/n Henderson.”

“Pretty name for a pretty girl,” Billy smiled; his tongue was tucked between his teeth.

Steve rolled his eyes, “Oh come on Hargrove, she’s got a boyfriend.”

Billy scoffed, his eyes drifted toward Jonathan and Nancy in the kitchen. You and Steve followed. Jonathan was a little too close to her for comfort. “What that Jonathan kid? Please, Harrington. You and I both know how uncomfortable she was with him touching her. My guess is they won’t be together much longer. In fact, I’d say you both are close to being single.” Steve was listening, but his eyes were trained on Nancy. He really was in love with her.

“Will you be okay with him?” Steve asked. His eyes never left his girlfriend, who was currently getting a minor back rub from your boyfriend. It makes you feel sick and your vision blurred until you convinced yourself to look away.

“I think I’d rather be over here right now, than over there. You can go, Steve.”

He looked back toward you, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. Probably best you go rescue, Nancy.” You were looking at Steve, but you could feel Billy’s delighted grin in your general direction.

“Yeah Steve, go rescue Nancy. Y/n and I will be just fine.” Steve glared at Billy before turning his attention back to you.

He rested his hand gently on your shoulder. “Bastard tries anything, you let me know and I’ll kick his ass.” It was the first time Steve had shown any care toward you more than you just being Nancy’s friend. It felt like you really mattered to him for the first time.

“You got it, Harrington,” You rested your hand on top of Steve’s and gave it a squeeze before removing it from your shoulder. It had never felt so cold before. Steve nodded to you and left the conversation.

Billy’s face was still covered in a giddy grin. “Sorry about the idiots from earlier. They don’t know what they are talking about.”

You shot him a confused look. “I mean, nothing they said was wrong, but I still appreciate the apology. You hang out with some real assholes.”

“What do you mean they weren’t wrong?”

“I mean, I am a loser. I do play dungeons and dragons with my little brother and his friends sometimes and… I am dating Jonathan. I wouldn’t say he treats me like a toy, but I also wouldn’t say he treats me like a girlfriend.” You paused and looked toward the kitchen again. Steve and Jonathan were squabbling while Nancy was slowly sipping punch again. You rolled your eyes. “I have a feeling he likes Nancy more now than he likes me, but Nancy is with Steve, so he keeps me around. Neither of us really enjoys being lonely. His family and I have been through a lot together.” Your eyes reconnected with Billy’s. You could see a hint of almost sadness in them. It was almost like he related in a way? Maybe he was lonelier than you realized he was. “Sorry, that was probably too much information.”

“No, no, Darlin’ you’re fine.” Billy started to move toward you, but he stopped himself from grabbing your hand. “May I?”

You gave him a curious nod.

He gently picked up your hand. “It’s not often that people are real with me. I really do hang out with assholes most of the time, you’re right. And I mean this genuinely, I’m not trying to do anything weird, if Jonathan ever does anything, and I mean anything to hurt you, and I mean anything, you come find me, okay?”

“Billy-”

“No, I’m serious, Y/n. I am an asshole okay? But like I said to Steve, it is clear how uncomfortable he makes you to me. If he does anything to you that hurts you, come to me and I will kick his ass. I’m a bad guy, and I can see how good of a person you are. We never have to talk again if you don’t want to, but if you need me I’m trapped in this hellhole of a town. I will protect you where you can’t protect yourself, all you have to do is ask.”

Your fingers were tingling. His grip was firm yet comforting and soft. “Why?”

“Why?”

“Why would you help me?”

“I can see that you are a sweet girl, and you don’t deserve how the people in this fucking town talk about you. If I catch any of my boys talking shit about you again, I’ll kick their asses too. You… You clearly deserve more in life than whatever the fuck this town thinks you do. There are so many dicks and bitches here, myself included, but you aren’t like that. Probably why King Steve and Jonathan and Nancy stick around you. You’re like some kind of weird light in the darkness.” He explained. You could see it in his face, he was being sincere.

“Wow… you really are drunk off your ass, aren’t you?” You giggled. “I don’t know if you’ll feel this way tomorrow, but nonetheless, thank you, Billy, really. It’s been a long time since I’ve had anyone say something that nice about me.”

“Trust me, Sweetheart. Even if I remember nothing else, I will remember this little chat we had.” He brought your hand up to his lips and briefly kissed your knuckles. “I better go before the boys come back.” He stepped back from you and let go of your hand.

“Which ones? Yours or mine?”

“Either, or both.” He shot you another wink before he disappeared into the crowd, leaving you alone.

| < ♥️ > |

It was another hour of being alone before you realized something was very wrong. You had heard from people inside the party chatting that Steve and Nancy had a fight. You saw Steve get in his car and leave without Nancy. You decided to go looking for Jonathan at that point because you were getting worried, but when you asked. Some classmates, if they had seen him, and they told you something unimaginable. He had left the party without you to take Nancy home. You made your way back outside at that point and sat on the lawn. You just felt numb. You wanted to cry, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. You didn’t know what else to do, but wait for him to come back for you. That is if he ever did come back for you.

You ended up just waiting there for hours. A few of your class acquaintances checked in on you now and then, but other than that, you were alone. You were just mentally beating yourself up for ever letting Jonathan convince you to come to this party. It was maybe hour five waiting outside, by the time you saw Billy again. You hadn’t noticed him and his friends come out of the house, you were lost in your own little world. That is until one of the jocks decided to spill their leftover beer on your head. “What the hell?” You spat at the taste of the sour liquid hitting your mouth. It made your skin and hair instantly sticky.

The jock laughed. “Still a loser, Henderson! Even your freak of a boyfriend doesn’t care about you enough to take you home!”

You didn’t even get another word in. “Look at me,” Billy said to his jock friend.

“Yeah Hargrove?” That was all he got in before Billy started swinging. His aim was a little off due to the amount of alcohol in his system, but he still managed to land a decent punch on the other guy’s jaw. “What the fuck man? It was just some beer!”

Billy would have swung again, but you rushed to your feet and grabbed his arm. “Billy, no that’s enough. You’re drunk.”

“So? I’ll kick his ass.”

“I think it’s time for you to go home. You might be pissed at yourself in the morning for punching your friend in my name.”

He looked back toward the jock, though he didn’t try to move from your grasp. “What was that about her boyfriend?”

The guy was holding his jaw, but he was still able to speak. “He left hours ago with the Wheeler girl.”

“What about Harrington?”

“Left on his own, he had some kind of fight with Nancy,” you answered.

“You’re stranded?” He asked.

“Yeah, I am. I was hoping Jonathan would come back, but he hasn’t.”

Billy pulled keys out of his pocket. “I’ll take you home.”

“Like hell, you’re driving,” you pulled away and stuck out your hand, “I’ll drive.”

“No one drives my car, but me, Sweetheart.”

You crossed your arms, “then I guess we are both stuck here because I will not let you drive home like this.”

He rolled his eyes and huffed. He genuinely seemed to be contemplating his options as his friends walked away toward their own car. “Why are you looking out for me?”

“You look out for me, I look out for you. Gimme your keys.”

“Fine, you crash it, I’ll kill you,” he said jokingly. Though you knew better.

“Relax I am a great driver.”

“Whatever you say, Doll.”

| < ♥️ > |

Billy stayed the night at your place. You decided it was the best option because he couldn’t remember his address and he seemed hesitant about bringing you home anyway. You snuck him into your room. Your mom was out of town, but Dustin was home and probably asleep. You definitely didn’t want him figuring out what was going on at this hour. You could fill him in on everything in the morning. Billy had a few extra clothing items in his back seat and brought them inside with him. You blushed and turned away when he started changing, but you soon spun around to face him when you felt a piece of clothing hit the back of your head. It was a clean “The Romantics” shirt. “I thought you’d enjoy sleeping in that. Besides, it’s better than being covered in beer.”

You laughed quietly. “You realize we’re at my place right? I have all my clothes here.”

He shrugged as he hopped onto the bed. “Yeah, but like it’s like a thank you, you know, for making sure I had a safe place to sleep tonight.” You smiled at him before moving to your dresser. You grabbed some clean sleep shorts and a few other things before you moved toward the door. “Where are you going?”

“I’m gonna shower. This beer in my hair will drive me crazy if I don’t wash it out.”

“Is it okay if I go to sleep?” He asked.

“Of course, Billy. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Sweetheart.”

| < ♥️ > |

Billy woke up in a bed he knew wasn’t his own. At first, he felt disoriented, but soon the sweet scent of strawberries and flowery perfume hit his nose and he knew that it was your bed. The chain of events from the night before started to fill his brain. He really hoped he hadn’t overstepped any of your boundaries. Even though he was a player and people considered him a bad boy, he was a stickler for consent. He would never want to push you past your limits.

Even though he had figured out that he was in your bed, he saw no side of you. It appeared that you may have never been in it. As he continued to wake up more, he heard a male voice he didn’t recognize coming from down the hall. The voice sounded younger, maybe a boy around his sister’s age? He knew you had a brother, he had learned that last night. It was probably him. Billy got up and cracked the bedroom door. “Yeah, she’s just asleep on the couch. I don’t know why. I haven’t been in her bedroom, I don’t really go in there. It smells too much like a flower meadow in there for me.” There was a younger boy standing by the telephone, talking loudly into it while eating a muffin. “Wake her? Nah, Jonathan, you know she sleeps through everything. I’m sure you’ll figure it out when she gets to school later.”

Billy snapped when he heard Jonathan’s name. “Hey, kid.” Dustin’s eyes widened while Billy approached. “Is that Jonathan Byers on the phone?”

“You’re Max’s brother.”

Billy rolled his eyes. “Yeah I am, hand over the phone, kid.”

Dustin passed off the phone and scurried back to his room. Billy looked over to you; you were fast asleep on the couch. You had made a little bed there, which honestly made his heartache. Though his worries faded into a smile when he noticed that you had in fact worn his shirt to bed. He turned his attention back to the phone. “Byers, if it isn’t the man of the hour.”

Jonathan was seething on the other side of the phone. “Billy Hargrove? What the hell are you doing at my girlfriend’s house?”

“Depends Byers. Why did you leave her alone last night?”

“Huh?”

“Why did you leave her stranded at the party? You took that Nancy chick home and left her with no ride. Seems like kind of a shitty thing to do, don’t you think?”

“I figured she’d catch a ride home with Steve or something.”

“Harrington left before you did, for your information. She waited hours for you to come back, but you never did. She had no way to call anyone for help either; the phone went out at Tina’s place. That’s a really shitty thing to do to your supposed girlfriend, don’t you think, Byers?”

“Our relationship has nothing to do with you, Billy.”

“Oh you see, but it does Jonathan. You have one of the sweetest girls in town wrapped around your ugly-ass selfish finger, god only knows why, and you treat her like shit. You’re going to listen to me and listen to me good, Byers. If I hear of you fucking up again, I will find you and smash your fucking face into the sidewalk. Are we clear?”

“What the fuck Billy? You can’t just-”

“I said are we clear? You can’t hurt this girl again. I won’t let you.” With that, Billy hung up the phone. Dustin, the poor kid, was standing in the hallway. He was horrified, but also enthralled.

“Aren’t you supposed to be some kind of major asshole?” Dustin asked.

Billy raised his eyebrow. “How long have you been standing there?”

Dustin shrugged, “Long enough to know you care about my sister, which is something I never thought I would be saying about you. I’ve only ever heard bad things about you. I’m Dustin, by the way. I’m the man of this house and I do not give you permission to date my sister, but I guess if you want to be her friend and look out for her, that’s okay. I don’t like how Jonathan treats her either.”

“Well kid, that definitely makes two of us. I’m Billy, Billy Hargrove.”

“Oh, I know.”

“So… you two have met. What did I sleep through this time?” You asked as you sat up.

“Nothing important, Doll,” Billy replied with a smile.

You looked toward your little brother. “Jonathan called. He’s angry that Billy’s here, and then Billy threatened him like nothing I’ve ever heard.”

“Damn it, kid; you gotta have my back next time.”

Dustin huffed. “I wasn’t gonna lie; she’d find out when she got to school anyway.”

“Jonathan can kiss my ass. How much do you know about last night, Dustin?”

He gulped, “Enough. I’m guessing you drove Billy’s car here?”

“Yeah.” You turned your attention to Billy. “How much do you remember from last night?”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure I remember all of it. It takes a lot more than that to make me blackout drunk.”

You sighed, “I’m not sure if that should be impressive or concerning.”

“Probably both, Doll.” He looked toward the floor for a moment before looking back at you. “Do you want me to take to both to school? I gotta pick up Max, but I’m happy to take you.”

“Is that okay with you, Dustin?” You asked.

“Are you kidding? That’s a 1979 Chevrolet Camaro Z-28.”

You and Billy both chuckled. “Since when are you into cars?”

“Recently.”

You shrugged it off. “Alright, you promise to bring us home later?”

“Of course, I’m not Jonathan. I won’t leave you stranded.”

Dustin laughed at that, and Billy followed him. You snorted and quickly covered your mouth. “Alright, chuckleheads, I’m going to get dressed. You two get your shit together; if we’re picking up Max and planning to get to school mostly on time, we need to get moving.”

Dustin sprinted off toward his room, “Roger that!”

“He’s a stranger, kid, but I like him.”

You nodded to Billy. “Now, the harder part, he has to like you.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that, Doll. He already said I have his permission to be your friend, not allowed to date you, though.”

You rolled your eyes and disappeared into your room.

| < ♥️ > |

You appeared a few minutes later, still wearing Billy’s shirt, just with a pair of oversized jeans with it this time. You all picked up Max, she was confused, but the drive was uneventful. The Hargrove parents were either not home, or they didn’t come outside. Based on how tense Billy was as you pulled up to the house, you suspected that was a blessing.

After a short, quiet drive, you all arrived at school. There were already girls and guys alike staring toward the camaro. Billy could feel you shifting uncomfortably in the passenger seat. “Relax, Doll. If anyone says anything to you about this that upsets you, come find me, especially if Jonathan tries anything, understand?”

“Yep,” You popped your knuckles as a nervous habit. You gave him a soft smile before turning your attention to the kids in the back seat. “Make good choices; I’ll see you both later.”

You had already made eye contact with Jonathan from across the parking lot. “Where are you going?” Dustin asked.

“I have to talk to Jonathan before classes start.” You hopped out of the car before anyone in the car could protest. Before you could get all the way to Jonathan, Carol stepped into your path. “What can I do for you, Carol?”

“I’m just shocked.”

“What about?”

“You and Billy Hargrove? You’re really moving in a sluttier direction than I could have ever could have predicted. You’re usually such a little miss perfect.”

You sighed. “It’s not like that, Carol; nothing happened between Billy and me last night. I ensured he didn’t drink and drive; this morning, he offered my brother and me a ride to school. That’s it.”

“Sure, nothing happened between you and Billy last night.” She moved to whisper in your ear. “You’re just saying that because Jonathan’s right there, right? Oooh! You really are dirty. Don’t worry; your secret is safe with me.”

You rolled your eyes. “Whatever floats your boat.” You pushed passed her.

“If you keep this up with Billy, you could be one of the popular kids before you know it. That’s why you always chased after Steve, right?”

You swung back around. “Excuse me?”

“You liked Steve because he was popular, but you couldn’t have him, so you settled for Jonathan. Now you actually have a popular pretty boy interested in you, but you don’t know what to do with yourself or your useless freaky ex. So, you’re pretending you didn’t sleep with Billy because you don’t want everyone to know how much of a popularity whore you actually are.”

You huffed. “Like I said, whatever whore story floats your boat, Carol. I really don’t give a fuck what you think about me.” You proceeded on your route toward Jonathan without letting her say anything else. “Hey, Jonny.”

“Hey, what the hell happened?”

“Between Billy and me or between you and Nancy?”

“What? Nothing happened between Nancy and me. Did something happen between you and Billy?”

You shook your head. “No, I drove his car back to my place last night because you stranded me there when you left with Nancy. He slept in my bed; I stayed on the couch because I do still have respect for you and our relationship, no matter whatever the fuck stories people are making up.”

“So you didn’t cheat on me?”

“Of course not, jackass. Did you cheat on me?”

“No. I didn’t. Nancy was drunk and I took her home to her place and then went back to my house. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking clearly. I should have found you before I left with Nancy or came back to get you.”

“All can be forgiven, Jonathan.” You stuck your hand out. “Are we good? Ready to go to class?”

He stepped back. “No, I’m not done yet. There’s stuff I’ve been meaning to talk to you about, but haven’t brought up yet. This whole situation with Billy and Nancy makes me think I should just go ahead and say it.”

“Alright. What’s on your mind Jonny Boy?”

“I think we should break up.”

“Huh?”

He sighed. “You heard me Y/n. Look, our relationship has been breaking down for months; you know that as well as I do. I’m really glad to hear nothing happened between you and Billy last night while we were still together, you are a fantastic girl Y/n, but we are not right for each other. Besides, if you are actually interested in Billy, I think you should go for it. Assholes are usually your type.” All you could do was stare at him. It wasn’t a surprising outcome to this situation, but it still wasn’t an easy thing to hear. You could feel tears welling in your eyes even though you were trying not to let them spill. “C'mon Y/n, please don’t cry.”

“I’m just processing. I’ll ahh… talk to you later, Jonathan.”

| < ♥️ > |

You spent most of your day in the farthest bathroom away from people. It was in the back corner of the school and hardly anyone ever used it. You knew that your breakup was for the best, but it was also incredibly hard to process with everything else that had happened in the last 24 hours. “Y/n?” Oh fuck.

“Yeah Nancy?” You tried your best to make your voice sound whole, but you couldn’t make it happen.

“Do you need anything?”

“No… But thank you.”

“Of course. I know we aren’t super close anymore, but you weren’t in any classes this morning and I was just getting worried.”

You sniffled, but a small smile came onto your face. “I appreciate you, Nancy; really, I do.”

“Yeah, I ran into Jonathan this morning after first period, and he told me that he broke up with you and that he was worried about your mental health with it. And like everything that happened last night. He should have picked better timing.”

You laughed. “Yeah, I could definitely get behind that.”

“I’m so sorry he left you stranded at that party, I can’t believe Billy gave you a ride. If I hadn’t been drinking, things would have gone smoother. I really am sorry.” You could feel how sorry she was.

“Jonathan’s actions aren’t yours, Nancy. I have no hard feelings against you, really. I believe you’re a good person, truly. I just… I’m upset about the breakup and just something Jonathan said. Ugh… boys are honestly the fucking worst, and I really wish I had never gone to the Halloween party, to begin with. I feel like if I hadn’t gone… maybe Jonathan would have waited to dump me? Carol probably wouldn’t be on my ass? Maybe I wouldn’t feel so overwhelmed right now? Having so many mixed feelings about Hargrove?” You ranted.

“Boys are the worst.” Nancy agreed. “What happened with Carol?”

You groaned. “She gave me shit in the parking lot for being seen with Billy. She’s definitely somewhere spreading the rumor that I slept with him last night right now. She called me a popularity whore and told me I was getting sluttier. I think the second one was supposed to be a compliment?”

“What on earth? A popularity whore?”

“As Jonathan said, my ‘type is usually assholes’. I guess everyone just sees me as some chick who will dote on any boy who raises her social status.”

“Y/n open the stall door.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Just trust me.”

You sighed and wiped your face dry. You reluctantly opened the door. Nancy’s face softened as she saw your state. “Oh, honey. Y/n, I mean this genuinely, you are kind and sweet. Not everyone; I would even go as far as saying that most people do not see you in a negative light. Carol is just a bitch, and Jonathan shouldn’t have said that. I mean, even if you were interested in Billy, maybe you know something that I don’t about him. Maybe he’ll be a better person with you around; no one knows everything about another person, or what the future holds. Maybe Carol sees you as a whore, and Jonathan sees Billy as an asshole. Who cares? That’s what they think. I think you are wonderful and I know Steve does too. I don’t know how to feel about Billy, but it seems like you don’t either. And that’s okay for now.”

Your heart did a flip at the mention of Steve’s name. You wanted to know if he was okay after everything last night, but it was so late by the time you got home that you didn’t want to call him. And she was right about your feelings on Billy. Your head was never clear with that boy on your mind. Maybe he was a total shitbag; perhaps he was a villain to everyone, but you. You didn’t know that much about him yet. There was still time to figure things out. “Thank you, Nancy, really.”

“Of course.” She pulled you into a quick hug. You patted her back gently for a moment before pulling away. You honestly wished it was longer; you felt like you needed a good hug. “Do you want to walk with me to the gym? I need to talk to Steve after last night, but I don’t really want to leave you here by yourself; that doesn’t feel right.”

“Sure, I’ll walk with you.”

“Alright, we’ll head that way now.”

| < ♥️ > |

The gym wasn’t a far walk; you and Nancy arrived shortly after leaving the bathroom. You trailed behind her a-ways. You told her you didn’t want to disrupt her and Steve’s conversation. You’d just be waiting in the gym for them to get back. Nancy called out to her boyfriend, who was playing on the court. Well, he was standing on the edge of the court. Billy was at the center, smiling and laughing. You assumed they were on opposite sides, and Billy had just made a basket. Steve looked cute, his hair was messy, and he had his hands on his hips. He looked at you briefly. His face was concerned, but soon, his eyes went from yours to Nancy’s, and his expression turned to one of dread. She motioned him to follow her, and he did, tossing you a sympathetic look as he walked by. You hadn’t caught a glimpse of your face since the break-up, but you were sure it wasn’t pretty. You had felt pretty good about yourself when you walked out of your room this morning, but Jonathan had knocked the air out of your lungs. You leaned up against the bleachers and began playing with your nails. It was hard to make yourself look in Billy’s direction, so you kept your eyes glued to your hands. You wanted to believe that he could be a good person somewhere in his heart; he had been nothing, but kind to you. However, you knew what people said about him. What Dustin told you this morning about his tone with Jonathan wasn’t exactly pleasing. Was it protective? Scary? Asshole-ish? You felt like your thoughts were all jumbled up in your brain. “Hey Doll, come to watch me play?”

You could feel him standing next to you now, but you didn’t look up. “I was hanging out with Nancy. I told her I’d wait here for her to come back.” Your voice still sounded sore.

You could feel Billy’s demeanor change. His aura was frightening. “What happened?”

“Nothing happened. I’m okay, just waiting.”

“Then look at me.”

“I’d rather not.”

He chuckled, but you could feel that he was upset. “What? Flustered by the fact that I’m shirtless?”

“No, not that either. I’m just, thinking about important stuff.”

The basketball he had been holding in his hands was soon tossed back toward the court. You could hear it bouncing away. “Come play with us, Hargrove!” Tommy called.

“In a minute!” Billy snapped back. You could hear the players’ feet begin to move again. No one dared to argue with Billy. “You can stop thinking about your ‘important stuff’ for a minute to look at me. Show me your face.”

You shook your head and shrunk into yourself more. You saw his hand reach for your chin, but he stopped himself. “Billy-”

“Show me your face, Doll.” You said nothing. He wiggled the tips of his fingers in front of you. “May I?” You gave him a small nod. You felt powerless in the situation, yet somehow safe.

His hand connected with your chin and cheek. You felt him huff in anger at the dampness of your skin. He gently turned your head to make you look at him. You didn’t look him in the eye, but you didn’t have to. His fingers squeezed your skin slightly; he was furious. “What happened, sweetheart?”

You shook your head lightly. His fingers moved with your skin. His thumbpad was burning a hole in your jaw. “Nothing important.”

“Don’t try that,” he shot back. His tone was sterner than you’ve ever heard from him. “You’ve obviously been crying. If it was something I did, tell me and I’ll leave you alone.”

“No no, it wasn’t you, Billy.”

“Then who was it?” You connected your eyes with his, and you instantly looked away again. His intense gaze was too much for you to bare with how many emotions you were feeling at the moment.

“Jonathan dumped me this morning. Nancy found me sobbing in the bathroom and asked me to come with her here because she felt like she couldn’t leave me alone, but she needed to see Steve, for obvious reasons.”

“Say the word and I will beat him to a pulp.”

“I don’t want you to do that, Billy.”

“What can I do, Sweetheart?”

“Can you… can you give me a hug?”

His fingers slid off of your chin and his hand fell to his side. “But I’m all sweaty from playing-”

“I’m going to be real with you, Billy. At this point, I really just don’t care.”

He opened his arms. “Alright.”

You gently wrapped your arms around his middle and squeezed. You felt his chest rise and fall before he wrapped one arm around your back and rested the other on the back of your head. He was sticky, but you buried your face in his chest anyway. You felt your eyes become wet again and a rattled sob escaped your throat. Billy’s grip on you tightened. “Y/n?”

You tried to move from Billy’s arms to look in the direction of the person who called your name, but Billy kept you locked in place. “Shut up, Harrington. Can’t you see we’re having a moment?”

You could feel Steve walking up behind you. His hand landed on your shoulder, “Nancy is waiting for you in the hall. We have a game to finish when you’re okay to leave, Y/n.”

“Harrington I swear-”

“It’s okay Billy,” you wiggled yourself free of his grasp and wiped your cheeks. Steve’s hand fell to his side. “I’ll be fine. Nancy is in pretty much the rest of my classes. I’ll see you around. Thank you.”

You turned your attention to Steve. His face became more worried as he saw yours. “Y/n what happened?”

“Don’t worry about it, Stevie, just Jonathan. I’ll catch up with you later, yeah? Lunch?”

“Are you sitting with Nancy?”

You shrugged. “Probably not. She usually sits with Jonathan and I’m not really big on the idea of sitting with him. If you end up alone, I’ll be in the library during lunch period.”

| < ♥️ > |

Billy watched Steve closely for the rest of the game. Why was Steve invited to lunch and not him? Probably because they’re scared of Tommy and Carol. Billy wasn’t sure why he felt so protective of you, but he did and he was going to listen to his gut. He very vividly remembered the night before. He originally went up to you because he wanted to piss off Steve and Jonathan, and he thought you were cute as a bonus. Then, you two started talking. He watched your expressions and he felt like you could be broken so easily. For some reason, he didn’t want any of that to happen to you and he vocalized that to you because he was drunk. Then, he punched the shit out of Tommy for pouring beer on you. He didn’t regret it at all, even though he passed Tommy a quick ‘I’m sorry man’ under his breath that morning. As long as you let him be around you, he would be. It was almost like he had a real crush, rather than just lust. But am I really capable of that?

Billy caught himself staring at Steve while they were showering after gym. He knew he was bisexual. Steve was technically someone he hated, but he also was good-looking and Billy’s type. He didn’t want his feelings to get mixed up though, he was curious what Steve was thinking about the older Henderson. “Don’t sweat it Harrington; today’s just not your day, man.”

“Yeah, not your week,” Tommy laughed, “you and the princess break up for one day and she’s already running off with the freak’s brother.”

Billy shot Tommy a look and Tommy stepped away from the showers. Billy turned his attention back toward Steve. “Don’t take it too hard man, pretty boy like you’s got nothing to worry about… Plenty of bitches in the sea.” Billy turned off the water on Steve’s shower. “Am I right?”

Steve looked at Billy intently. “Like Y/n?”

Billy locked his jaw. “Not like Y/n.”

“What do you want from her, Hargrove?”

Billy leaned against the metal pole of the shower. “Why do you care, Harrington?”

“Because she’s my friend and I don’t want her to get hurt by a scumbag like you,” Steve fired back. “She’s been through enough as it is. She doesn’t need you fucking her life up. Jonathan’s a nice guy, and he made her sob. I don’t want to even think about what an asshole like you has planned.”

“Well, lucky for me Harrington, you don’t get to decide if I hang around her or not, but for your information, I have no bad intentions with our angel, Y/n. In fact, think of me as her new bodyguard. I’ll stick around to make sure no man in this school ever hurts her again, which also means, you can’t get close to her either. If you even think about meeting her in the library, alone, today, Harrington, I will absolutely kick your ass,” Billy seethed.

Steve chuckled in disbelief. “You are absolutely batshit insane; you know that Hargrove? You can’t stop me from hanging out with her; we’ve been friends for a lot longer than you’ve been around. I appreciate the body guarding, though; the guys in this school treat her like shit.” Steve pointed at Billy. “If she tells me a single bad thing that you do to her, I will set your ass on fire, Billy.”

Steve walked away from the showers, but he could still hear Billy laughing. “Looks like we have a bit of a competition going, Harrington! I can’t wait to win.”

| < ♥️ > |

Nancy walked with you to your class, but it wasn’t long until Jonathan walked up to you both. He asked Nancy to come with him for something. You were civil; you told them that it was fine and that you would be okay by yourself. Nancy was reluctant, but Jonathan seemed persistent, so she ended up going with him. You went to your classes and eventually made your way to the library for lunch. You found yourself a little table in the corner and sat down. You pulled a book from your bag and began to read it as you picked at your food. You knew Steve may show up at some point, but you also knew he might not. He would sometimes join you in the library to avoid being around Jonathan. You knew that Steve didn’t mind the older Byers brother most of the time, but the two didn’t have much in common. Steve struggled socially more than you knew he cared to admit. Sometimes, he wasn’t up for dealing with Tommy’s jeering and Jonathan’s awkward nature. Sometimes, he just sat in the library with you. Nancy always wanted to talk to Jonathan at lunch because they didn’t have many classes together and would pair off. You didn’t mind, you spent so much time at the Byers house you felt like you were with Jonathan 24/7, even when you weren’t. You didn’t know what you were going to do now. All you knew is that you wanted to avoid the normal lunch room.

“Hey y/n sorry I’m late. My crazy-ass science teacher kept us late, AGAIN.” Steve gave you a small smile as he sat down across from you. He had a tray from the cafeteria with pizza, a brownie, and some leftover sugary cereal from their breakfast service.

You laughed. “Really Steve?”

“What? It’s the lunch of champions.”

You rolled your eyes. “Sure it is.”

He took a big bite of his pizza. Normally, he had a snappy comeback for everything you said. Today, he just continued to munch on his pizza and stared into the void of the swirling wood grains on the table. “So you and Hargrove?”

You groaned and put down your book. “Ugh, not you too, Steve.”

Steve quirked his eyebrow and took another bite of his pizza. “I mean… what I saw in the gym today didn’t exactly seem friend…like.”

You sighed. “I really just needed a hug today. I still need a hug to be honest with you, Steve. Jonathan really upset me this morning. I know our breakup was for the best, but just the way he went about it makes me feel like such shit. I want to go home and curl up in my bed and die.”

“Don’t beat yourself down like that, Y/n. I’m sure whatever Jonathan said about you isn’t true and-”

“But the thing is, Steve, it is true. He just made a comment about my choice of… male friends and I know it was directed at Billy and at you to an extent. It just made me feel like everyone sees me like Carol does. Like I’m just some popularity whore and only keep the company I do to gain the respect of other students. The truth is, I seem to befriend partiers, popular kids, and sometimes assholes because I like it when other people can pull me out of my shell. I just never want you or Nancy to see me like that. I really like hanging out with you and her Steve! And I don’t know how I feel about Billy right now, but I would love to just be able to explore those relationships without input from people like Carol and Jonathan, you know?”

Steve set his pizza crust back on his plate. “Yeah I do, Y/n. I’m so sorry I dragged you and Nancy and Barb into the same circles as people like Tommy and Carol. I enjoy being around you too and I don’t see you as someone greedy, needy, or weird like that, I promise. I don’t know exactly what Jonathan said to you, and you don’t have to tell me now, but if you need someone to talk to I’ll listen. I don’t always know what to say, but I will always listen.”

“I really appreciate you a lot, Steve, really.”

“I’m always going to be here for you. I know I haven’t always been a good friend to you, but you’ve stuck by me through all the bullshit. I want you to know that I have your back too… and that you’re not allowed to die until after I’m dead. I don’t think I could function very well without our library lunches.”

You laughed at his last comment. “Alright. No burying myself in blankets later and dying.”

“Good! Now, do you want some cereal?”

“I mean why not at this point.”

| < ♥️ > |

The rest of your day was a blur. You went to your classes and just sort of zoned out until it was time for you to move to the next place. Before you knew it, Dustin was running up next to you as you made your way out of school, and Max was trailing behind him. “How are you, Y/n? You look like shit.”

“Thanks, little bro,” you huffed. “I feel like shit.”

“Are you and Jonathan still together?”

“No…”

“Huh? Really?”

“No, Dustin. I and Jonathan are not still together,” You said. “I really don’t want to talk about it. I’m just not feeling too snazzy after everything, you know?”

He nodded. “That’s okay; I’m sorry.”

“You’re fine, Dusty. I’m just worn out.”

Max was watching you curiously. Billy was leaning against his car off in the distance while smoking. He was watching you all walk to him. “So you’re single now?”

“Yeah, Kid, I am.”

She nodded and smiled a bit. “Sorry to bring it up. Just confirming something. Are you doing okay otherwise?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. So excited to be heading home, though.”

“Hey! Henderson!” You and your brother both flung your heads to the left as you heard the sound of your last name. It came from Steve. Your little trio came to a stop a few cars away from Billy’s.

“I’m assuming you meant me.”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, Henderson, elder.”

“What can I do for you, Harrington?”

He looked away briefly. He was looking in Billy’s general direction, but you couldn’t confirm that he was looking at him. He opened his arms wide. “You said you still needed a hug when we were talking earlier. I forgot to offer you one when we were leaving the library.”

You chuckled a bit. “That’s very sweet of you, Steve.” You wrapped your arms around his middle, much like you had done with Billy earlier in the day. Your hands were locked together, under his brown leather jacket. The material of his shirt was soft and warm. He squeezed you tightly as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders. He rocked side to side with you. It was honestly one of the most comforting hugs you had ever received.

Steve sneakily looked toward Billy who’s face was red with rage. Steve just shot the other boy a smile. He turned his attention back to you and pulled away. “Make sure you get some sleep tonight and if you need anything I should be at my place. Don’t be afraid to call the house.”

“Thank you, Steve. I’ll be sure to call you if I need anything.”

He patted Dustin on his shoulder. “Take care of her today, you hear me?”

Dustin nodded stiffly. “Yep!”

Steve looked like he was about to leave, but he traced his eyes across your frame again, and something clicked. “Is that Hargrove’s shirt?”

You looked down at yourself. “Sure enough, it is.”

Steve scoffed and pulled off his jacket. “Put this on, it’ll confuse the fuck out of Carol.”

Carol and Tommy were just across the way, standing by his car. They were trying to make it seem like they weren’t watching, but they definitely were. You took the jacket from Steve’s hands and put it on. “Fantastic plan, Steve.”

He winked. “Anytime.” With that, he started to walk off toward his car.

“Come on children, let’s not keep Billy waiting anymore.” You started walking toward Billy’s car again. The two middle schoolers followed your lead. You could see that Max was eyeing you closely, but you didn’t want to push and ask her why.

You could see that Billy was irritated, but he did his best to cover it up as you approached his car. He took one last drag from his cigarette before stomping it out under his shoe. “Hello, Hargrove.”

“Hey, Y/n.” He gently grabbed your upper arm and pulled you against him into a hug. You sort of fell into his chest and felt his arms wrap around your back.

“Billy?”

You wrapped your arms slowly around him. For the first time since you met him, he seemed fragile. He planted his face into the crook of your neck and you felt his body relax a little bit. “Little shitheads, get in the car,” he said to the middle school siblings.

“Say it nicer, Billy, or I’ll stop hugging you.”

You could feel his grumbling vocal cords. “Little shitheads, lovingly, get in the car.”

Dustin rolled his eyes and pulled the passenger door open. “Your new friend is weird, Y/n. For hugs, I’m giving a point to Steve. After you, Max.”

Billy mumbled something under his breath, but you couldn’t understand it. He didn’t say anything audible until both middle schoolers were in the car. Billy pulled you off him and placed his hands firmly on either side of your face. It doesn’t feel aggressive, just stern. “Lovingly, what the hell was that?”

“What was what?”

“You, just now, hugging Steve?”

He’s upset about me hugging Steve? “Oh! I told him I still needed a hug earlier today, so he offered to give me one as he was leaving.”

“So why did you accept his jacket?”

“To piss off and confuse Carol.”

“Carol?”

“Tommy’s girlfriend, with him by his car right now. She called me some nasty shit in the parking lot this morning in relation to us being seen together.” Billy looked past your head toward Tommy’s car. He showed no care in the world toward the fact that the couple could see him staring. He couldn’t help, but feel like it was his fault.

“I’ll make sure the bitch never speaks to you again.”

“Don’t do anything bad to her, Hargrove. I’d love for her to leave me the fuck alone, but not at the cost of you going to jail or something.”

He laughed. “Don’t worry about stuff like that sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere.”

| < ♥️ > |

Your time at home was spent mostly in your room. Steve, Nancy, and Billy did all truly improve your mood when you were at school, but as night fell and you were alone, your self esteem began to shrink. Before he dropped you off, Billy slipped you the phone number for his house, but he told you only to call if it were any emergency. You didn’t quite know why, but you suspected that his dad was much like yours when you were a child and he was still around. You didn’t want to call him and get him into any kind of trouble.

You were crying. Your brother knew you were crying. He told you to call Nancy and he so wished that Barb was still around so you could have called her too. Nancy’s family phone fell flat. It rang, connected for a moment, and then hung up. You assumed her parents caught the call before she did and you didn’t dare call again. Dustin wouldn’t step into the living room, he was peering in from down the hall. He didn’t want to see what state you were in. He knew it was bad. “Just call Steve, Y/n. He’ll come over. His parents are never home so it would just be him there, right?”

“Yeah… I will.” You knew only four numbers; Jonathan’s, Barb’s, Steve’s, and Nancy’s. You knew that Joyce would be sympathetic toward you and she would always consider you family. She had told you that many times before, but you felt like you couldn’t go to her with this. It was, at the end of the day, about your relationship with Jonathan after all.

You dialed Steve’s number and mumbled a prayer that he would pick up. Thankfully, your prayers were answered. “Hello?”

“Hey, Steve. I’m sorry it’s so late.” You choked up on your tears. Your throat felt like it was trying to swallow itself. “Would you want to come over and watch a movie or something? I’m not doing so hot. I tried to call Nancy, but she didn’t pick up.”

He sounded sleepy at first, but his next sentences sounded much more awake. He realized how upset you were. “Yeah, I don’t mind. I already got some sleep in, so I can be up with you however long you are awake.”

“Thanks, Steve, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I’ll be over soon! Just don’t do anything stupid before I get there.” He hung up the line quickly. You assumed he was rushing around trying to gather his belongings.

You sighed in relief and turned to Dustin. “He’s gonna come over and we’re gonna watch a movie. You can go to bed if you’d like. I’m sorry for keeping you awake.”

“It’s okay, Y/n. You’ll be okay until Steve gets here?”

“Yeah, I will.”

“Alright, goodnight, sis.”

“Night, Dusty.”

| < ♥️ > |

Steve slouched his back against the couch seat. You were almost asleep, sprawled out on the couch itself. Steve didn’t mind his spot on the floor, you had given him a blanket, and he wanted you to fall asleep. When he arrived at your house, he could see the tears in your eyes and tiredness in the lines of your face. He sat himself on the floor and you tried to argue for him to sit on the couch, but he denied it. He told you to lay down and he’d pick a movie. You eventually agreed and grabbed blankets for the both of you from your room. Now, it was almost time for the sun to come up and you were sleepily watching poltergeist. “Thank you for coming over Steve, I really do appreciate it, Steve.”

“What friends are for, Y/n,” he replied. “You okay?”

“Feeling a little silly for getting so upset. We’re just kids, but everything always feels so life or death in our world. I just, I don’t want to lose the Byers family in my life. Joyce is like my second mom and Will is a sweetheart. Jonathan’s not a bad person, he just made me sad you know? Like maybe eventually we could be friends again? After I’ve healed and stuff?”

Steve looked toward you and it felt like his eyes were pouring into your soul. “You’re not silly for wanting some company. Breakups are hard, okay? And like with him and his family and stuff, I’m sure you could be close to them still if you wanted. Jonathan doesn’t seem like the vengeful type or anything.”

“Thanks again, Steve.”

“Of course.”

He smiled at you briefly before turning his head back to the movie. He knew it wouldn't be long before you fell asleep now. He was glad, he knew you needed the rest. It had been a rough Halloween for everyone, but you and him especially. It felt like Nancy and Jonathan were pushing you each out. He didn’t know what to do or necessarily what to say. He just wanted you to feel safe and as calm as possible. Sleep seemed to be the easiest way to do that. He looked back toward you, your chest was rising and falling rhythmically. He breathed out in relief. You were fast asleep and he felt confident enough to close his own eyes. It was time for both of you to get some rest.

| < ♥️ > |

Steve awoke a few hours later because the living room phone was making a lot of racket. Steve groaned, but soon quieted when he realized that you were still asleep. He knew that you could sleep through a lot, but he decided to rush to the phone since there was no sign of Dustin stirring. He didn’t want it to keep ringing and possibly wake you. He picked the phone up off the wall and cleared his throat. “Henderson residence, Steve speaking, all the Hendersons are asleep right now, can I take a message for anyone?”

Steve heard a noise coming from the other side of the phone, it almost sounded like a growl. “What the fuck are you doing at Henderson’s house, Harrington?” Oh fuck, not this asshole. Why is he calling her?

“Hargrove… Why are you calling Y/n at like 8 in the morning?”

“Why are you at her house, answering her phone?” Billy asked.

Steve bit his lip. He knew that you would probably be upset with him for provoking Billy, but he couldn’t resist the temptation. The dude was crazy and possessive. Steve was annoyed with himself for finding Billy at all attractive. His first priority in this situation was to keep you safe, his confusing feelings toward Billy didn’t matter and while he didn’t want to upset you, he wanted to do what he thought was best. “She was having a hard time last night so she asked me to come over and watch movies. So, again I ask, why are you calling her? And why so goddamn early in the morning?”

“I was calling to check in on her; breakups can be painful. Pretty girls like her shouldn’t be abandoned in their times of need. I just wanted to give her some comfort.”

Steve could hear the smugness in Billy’s voice and oh god it pissed him off. “You and I both know that’s bullshit Hargrove, you just want to take advantage of her while she’s vulnerable.”

“I would never do that, Harrington. That’s low, even for me.”

“I-”

“Steve?” You called. “Is that Billy on the phone?”

Shit shit shit shit. I woke her up.

He knew he couldn’t lie to you about it, Billy would just tell you and then you’d be mad at him. “Yeah, it is.”

You shuffled over to the phone, still wrapped in your blanket. You had draped it around your shoulders. Steve found it endearing. You stuck out your hand for him to give you the phone. He was hesitant, but he did hand it over. “Hey, Billy.”

You could feel his smile radiating through the phone. “Hey, Doll. What’s that jackass doing at your house?”

You rolled your eyes. “I would appreciate it if you and Steve at least pretended to like each other and while I have no obligation to tell you, I will. Steve came over last night, late because my brother was ready for sleep, but didn’t want to leave me awake alone. I was struggling pretty bad with feelings about the breakup.”

Billy sighed. “Just for you, I will try to show Harrington some form of respect, as long as he shows some back.”

You smiled. “I’ll let him know. I do very much appreciate your cooperation. Now, why did you call?”

Billy was fiddling with his fingertips. He did his best to seem stable around you, even if he failed, at least he was trying. Though, he felt like he was slipping. “Well, I was wondering if you would want to go on a date tonight? We could get to know each other better and take things slow if that’s the pace you’re comfortable with.”

You let out a sigh. You were honestly interested. What would a date with Billy Hargrove be like? However, you knew that there was a possibility that he was lying about his intentions to get closer to you. You didn’t want to believe that because the version of him that you knew was protective and unyielding, yet sweet and soft, but you knew that it was a strong possibility.

“Doll?” His voice brought you back to reality. “You can say no. I won’t hold it against you if you aren’t ready.”

“No no. We could try. Just caught me off guard, that’s all. You promise, take it slow?”

“I would wait a lifetime for one date with you, Doll.”

Your face flushed. Steve quirked his eyebrow at you. “When?”

“Tonight. 7 o’clock. I’ll pick you up.”

“Alright, I’ll see you then.”

“Until then.” Billy hung up the phone.

You put the phone back on the hook and looked toward Steve. “What did he want?”

“He asked me if we could hang out later. I said yes, I know you’ll have to leave at some point and I’d rather not be alone today. I like company when I’m sad, you know?”

“Uh-huh.” Steve’s expression told you that he was unconvinced. You felt bad for giving him half of the truth, but you knew him well. He was one of your good friends. He would definitely not approve of you officially going on a date with Billy.

“Promise I’ll reach out to you if I need to afterward. Plus, I still carry pepper spray after that whole monster thing last year.”

“Fair enough…” He still seemed displeased with your answer, but he appeared to brush it off. “You want breakfast? We could go to the diner and bring something back for Dustin?”

You smiled. “That sounds lovely.”

| < ♥️ > |

Steve left reluctantly around noon. Dustin could be heard making a lot of noise in his room, but the odd crashing sound coming from there was not out of the ordinary. You put on a little black dress that you had purchased with a date with Jonathan in mind, but you didn’t care. It was something you felt good in and you wanted to feel cute. You called Billy after Steve left and nailed down some details. You knew that you would be getting food and going from there. This dress with a pair of your converse was a perfect middle ground. Did it look a little silly wearing a kind of fancy dress with converse? Yes, but they were in style and comfortable. You got ready around 4 before heading down to the local store to pick up a fresh tube of your favorite lipstick. You didn’t realize how low it was until you went to use it and the stub you had left crumbled on your lips. It was just the local general store, but they sold a few makeup things here and there. This particular lipstick was cheap and good. You were a little relieved when you discovered that Joyce wasn’t working, just because it made your trip easier on your anxiety. Everything was going to plan until you saw Steve in your driveway with Dustin and his nail-filled bat. The boys looked over toward your car, and Dustin ran up to your window. You rolled it down. “I’m so glad you’re here— why are you dressed like a stereotypical high school bimbo?”

You rolled your eyes and got out of the car. You didn’t bother to roll your window up; you were too focused on what the hell to say. “Gee, thanks, Dustin.”

“Steve quit gawking!” Dustin spat over his shoulder. He turned back to you. “Do you have plans?”

“Yeah actually.”

“Not anymore! Steve is here because I may have accidentally raised a baby Demogorgon and it may be in our storm shelter.”

“YOU DID WHAT?”

| < ♥️ > |

You couldn’t believe how quickly you got sucked into this mess again. Steve and Dustin filled you in on everything they knew, but unfortunately, Dart was nowhere to be found when you opened the storm shelter. You came up with the plan to lure him to the junkyard, so now the three of you were walking towards it along the train tracks. You were trailing a little bit behind the boys, trying not to get meat juice on your dress. This is not exactly what you had in mind when you put it on.

The boys were up ahead talking about crushes and girls. You knew that Dustin was talking about Max; you could just tell. It was kind of wholesome. Steve was talking about how he made connections with girls and it sounded like a bunch of nonsense to you. Though, it made perfect sense for how Steve’s relationships went before he started dating Nancy. “Then you just wait until… until you feel it.”

You rolled your eyes. You felt like you were intruding on their conversation in a weird way, so you tried to ignore it for a bit. You focused on the crunching stones beneath your feet and the sloshing of the meat-filled bucket in your hands. How could this all be happening again? Is Hawkins already in danger? I feel like we just stopped the monsters of the Upside Down yesterday. “What type is Nancy?”

You perked up at the sound of the other girl’s name. You couldn’t hold back your curiosity. “Nancy’s different. She’s different than the other girls.” Different than me.

“Yeah, she seems pretty special, I guess,” Dustin replied.

“Yeah. Yeah, she is,” Steve answered. You knew you shouldn’t be jealous of Nancy. Steve had never seen you as anything other than a friend, and he probably never will. You needed to be happy for them. They were a cute couple, after all.

“But this girl’s special, too, you know. It’s just, like, something about her,” Dustin said. It made your heart swell. It was the first time Dustin ever talked about anyone romantically, at least as far as you knew.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey.” Steve stopped Dustin from walking.

“What?”

“You’re not falling in love with this girl, are you?”

“Uh, no. No.”

“Okay, good. Don’t.”

“I won’t.”

“She’s only gonna break your heart, and you’re way too young for that shit,” Steve said as he looked toward the ground.

Their pause was enough for you to catch up to them. “You alright, Steve?”

“Yeah? Yeah, I’m alright. How are you doing, Party Dress ?”

You looked down at your outfit. “Listen, I didn’t exactly have time to change before heading out monster hunting.”

“Yeah, but like, why were you dressed like that in the first place?”

Yikes. “Just going out with some friends. It’s the weekend, after all.”

“You have friends other than Steve and Nancy?” Dustin asked.

You elbowed him. “Yes. I do happen to have other friends.”

“Oh really? I sure would like to meet them sometime, Y/n,” Steve teased. His face fell, and his tone became more serious. “You can tell me the truth; you can do whatever you want; I’m not gonna be mad at you or anything like that.”

You shrugged. “It’s not like it matters anyway; monster hunting is more important than dinner.” You turned to your little brother. “I think it’s cute that you like Max. You can act on those feelings or you can just let them be, it’s up to you, but whatever you do, show her you care.”

“That’s literally the exact opposite of what Steve just told me. And how did you know it’s Max?”

“Yeah, I know. You’re my brother. I can read you like the back of my hand.” You smiled at him. “Steve is a great guy, but I do disagree with the idea of acting like you don’t care. Caring about your friends and partners is a really important aspect of maintaining relationships. Even if someone likes the cool guy act, they still want to know that the person they’re interested care about them.

You turned your attention back to Steve. “You can say you don’t all you want, but you do actually care, like a lot. And it’s sweet and it’s endearing. You’ve changed so much since we met, Steve. You show that you care all the time now.”

He chuckled awkwardly, in the way that he does when he’s been complimented and doesn’t know how to handle it. “Thanks, Y/n.”

“Of course, now Steve, why don’t you give my brother your hair secrets?”

| < ♥️ > |

Lucas and Max appeared at the Junkyard just as night was beginning to fall. You all decided that the best course of action was to hold up in a bus and wait for Dart to appear. It was hard work getting the space set up, but you were hoping it would be worth it. Steve was leaning against a wall of the bus and you were sitting next to him. The clicking of his lighter was somehow comforting. It sort of reminded you that you were alone out here with the kids; you had another high schooler you could count on to help you if anything went wrong with this plan. Your stomach was twisted in knots. Something in your gut was telling you that things were going to go wrong. “So you really fought one of these things before?” Max asked.

Steve nodded to her. You played with the skin around your fingers. “Yeah.”

Steve placed his hand on your shoulder. “It’s gonna be okay, Y/n.”

“And you’re, like, totally, 100% sure it wasn’t a bear?” She questioned.

You sighed. “I wish it was just a bear.”

“Shit. Don’t be an idiot. Okay? It wasn’t a bear. Why are you even here if you don’t believe us? Just go home.” Dustin spat. He was pacing around the bus. You were honestly shocked by his tone. He sounded quite mean.

“Dustin!” You scolded.

“What? You know damn well it’s not a bear!”

Max rolled her eyes and stood up from her place in the corner of the bus. “Geesh. Someone’s cranky. Past your bedtime?” She climbed up the ladder to sit on the roof with Lucas. Steve praised him for acting like he doesn’t care.

You huffed and shot Steve a glare. “Don’t encourage him to act like that Steve. Max helped us set up and while she’s sassy, she’s only been helpful to us. Treat her with some respect. Your behavior gives me the ick, Dustin.”

He sighed, and Steve took his hand off of your shoulder. “Sorry, Sis.”

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to, Dustin. I know we are all tense, and this is a scary situation, but that’s not an excuse. There is a difference between acting like a cool guy and being a cool guy, you know?”

Steve was about to say something, but the conversation was interrupted by wailing in the distance. Lucas got eyes on Dart a few seconds later. You grabbed a large knife that Steve had been carrying in his backpack and watched the creature closely through the grates of the bus. Dart didn’t take the bait, and Steve looked like he was getting a wild idea. “Maybe he’s sick of cow.” He tossed Dustin his lighter and started to move toward the door.

“Don’t you dare do what I think you’re gonna do,” You warned. “You’re not leaving this bus.”

“I’ll be okay, Y/n. Just get ready.” You followed Steve to the door, but couldn’t make yourself step out of the bus. Christmas Lights. Fighting this thing in bursts. Setting the house on fire. Your brain was swirling with too many thoughts. You were so caught up in your thoughts, that you almost missed the second monster coming up behind Steve.

Before you could think, you were running out of the bus. “Steve!” You shouted as you managed to stab the creature. It screamed, and the noise attracted Steve’s attention. The worst realization that you both had at that moment, is that there were more than two monsters. Steve ducked and rolled on the hood of a broken-down car to avoid getting bit. You dodged the creatures as best you could in your very inconvenient outfit. “Steve! Y/n! Abort! Abort! OH GOD, Y/N!” You could hear your brother’s voice, but you couldn’t concentrate on what direction it was coming from. Nothing was really making sense anymore. Your eyes were going fuzzy, and your body felt like it was melting into jello. Soon, all the noises around you felt like they were coming from above water while you sank further down into an abyss of darkness.

| < ♥️ > |

To be continued...

611 notes · View notes