warning: short mention of t-shots/needles, slight angst
request: “Hi Cloud! I hope you’re having a great day :) Could i request Dabi with a black, transman boyfriend who is attempting to subtly ask Dabi to marry him and Dabi catches the hints but just… doesn’t want to be the one proposed to first (if that makes any sense) so he keeps acting oblivious for like months and eventually reader has had enough and just pins him down, slides to his knees and is like, “Dabi, I’m gonna die if you don’t marry me” and Dabi’s just a blushing mess because… why is reader on the floor crying with desperation for him? He didn’t think people could want him, let alone so badly. -🌨”
a/n: this has been sitting in my inbox for so long but i finally got to it! i’m so sorry for the long wait. still experimenting with my writing style... so i’m sorry if it’s wonky. i don’t proofread or have anyone to beta read my fics, so some words may be out of place. i’m sorry!
Dabi never considered himself unlovable, he was just unsure whether he had the potential to be loved. To cherish another being, nurture their soul and protect them from the raw, frostbitten anger of the world till his every last breath; he wondered if he had the ability to do that. So he continuously plays dumb, pretends to never fully understand what you’re asking because, quite frankly, he’s afraid. He’s afraid his love for you will overflow. Afraid the flames separating your bond from the cruelty of the universe will set the bond itself aflame and burn it into ashes and stardust. Then all he’d have left are the pieces of you, the ashes he can’t seem to wash off his skin.
Yet he holds your hand anyway. Admiring the contrast in your skin, pressing his hand into yours for as long as he can-to get as much contact as he can- feeling your thumb run over his knuckles and the tips of your ring finger tracing along his jagged skin. You hold his hand like it’s nothing. You know he could burn you whenever he pleases, if ever. But here you are. The sweat on his palm feels like thick layers upon layers of gasoline. But here you are.
You ask him again and again, with so much subtly it’s almost painfully obvious. Like clockwork, his mouth already on autopilot, Dabi’s lips part and his voice (which suddenly sounds so foreign to his own ears) escapes before he can actually consider it. He’s afraid he’d accept a million times over if he gave himself time to think. Truly, he does love you. His love for you has his heart full until it pops. And you see it every day, you hear it everyday. It explodes in the middle of the night, when even the stars expose their vulnerability, when he holds onto you and expresses his gratitude through whispers, dreams, and sleepless nights.
And maybe he wants to be in control of the situation. He wants to hear you say yes, watch you nod with stars in your eyes when finally feel how the universe revolves around you. How the Sun makes it its mission to land on you. And it does it so beautifully, the way highlights your skin just right, and browns your skin further.
“Dabi,” You begin, slotting your right hand above your boyfriend's shoulder and the other on its opposite. He has nowhere else to look but at you. He leans his head back against the wall, staring through the curtains of loose strands of jet black hair. Straight into your eyes and naturally curled eyelashes, nowhere for the eye to travel besides the expanse of skin, hair, and full lips. Those of which he’d kissed a million times before, and if it weren't for the thigh you had slotted between his own, he’d lean in to kiss you. An exasperated sigh sounds from that very area, making the villain snap his gaze back upward. “I’m begging you. If you don’t marry me right now, I’ll die.”
There’s so much desperation laced in your voice, and although Dabi is doing his best to mask the trembling deep within his bone marrow with a sly grin and lidded eyes, he can’t help but flush over the small amount of healthy skin on his cheeks. Cherry red and pairing with his purple scars beautifully, blending up and outward into small freckles and silver staples. He’s always been so beautiful.
He whistles, relaxing his shoulders so they melt into the wall and his body slumps against the thigh keeping him upright. In all honesty he doesn't know how to respond, opting for the safest sound he can make. Of all people, you want to be with him? He was never anything special. There would always be someone better than him. But you didn’t want someone better, you wanted Dabi.
You wanted to place a ring on his finger, you wanted to wipe the windows of his soul clean and use nothing but your blood sweat and tears to do so. You wanted to love him until separated by death, but you knew, even after that, you’d still be smitten. You wanted his everything. His heart, which had never belonged to anyone else. His lips, which you’d kissed a thousand times. His eyes, the same ones you often found yourself lost in, and mind. You never understood what was going on in that head of his, but it didn’t matter. Even if he was spiraling out of control, he’d always find a way to come back around to you.
His heart pounds against his chest, as if the adrenaline coursing through his veins sent his heart plummeting from a dangerous height into a field of flowers. Flowers bloomed because of you, flowers you planted and loved until they grew strong and stable. Stable enough to keep his heart from breaking on impact. Okay, shit. He really, truly does love you. And clearly you feel the same way toward him. He wanted to wake up and see you by his side, with a sleepy grin and disheveled head covering halfway off your head. He wanted to burn down cities with your hand in his, light up the sky with blue flames that burned ten times brighter around you. Of course, it would be an unconventional marriage with unconventional people and even weirder traditions. But that’s exactly what he wants, he wants to be with you.
He wanted to be with you when you’re sitting hunched over on the toilet, a needle in your hand as he helps you take your first T-shot. He wanted to be with you when you had bad days. He wanted to be with you when you had good ones. He wants to help you wash your hair, he wants to spend hours staring at you while you go about your daily life. You were his boyfriend, the light of his life, the one person he saw himself devoted to. You, you, you….
“Alright, you win,” Dabi says finally, shimmying through the confines of your arms and pulling something out of his back pocket. His lips stay pursed up into it’s finally out and on display. A ring, definitely stolen, with a custom band and large diamonds around its perimeter. The band was clear, but the ashes molded into it looked almost like marble. His lips twist into a sly grin, the dimples of his cheeks deepening as he slowly shifts the ring between three fingers. It’s beautiful, definitely worth more than your yearly salary, and you can tell Dabi asked for it to be made especially for you before stealing it. “I’ll marry you. But only if you marry me first.”
Summary : You and Draco are getting married today.
Parring : Draco Malfoy X Reader
Warnings : I don’t know if this need warnings.
A/N : Hope you’re enjoying this<3
Everything was going to change and today would be the start of it. Today Y/n and Draco are getting married. From today onwards Y/n won’t just be Draco’s bestfriend, she would be his wife. From today she would be Y/n Malfoy.
Y/n stood there looking at herself in the mirror, wearing the most beautiful gown she has ever seen in her life. Her makeup put up elegantly, her hair was done perfectly. She looked beautiful and she knew it, she was scared and nervous she didn’t want to mess everything up. Draco was probably still mad at her since he barely spoke to her after he found out about Fred and her.
Fred, he was sad when he got know that he couldn’t be with Y/n anymore. But he said he understood, he was the best thing that had happened to Y/n in a while. He knew that and he was glad that he at least got a chance to be loved by Y/n it broke her heart to leave him. She didn’t want to stay away from him, she at least wanted to be his friend. But guess all good things have to come to an end.
The wedding was huge, thousands of people were invited. Everyone was there, all her friends and classmates. She was familiar with some people while she had never seen the others. The marriage was held at Malfoy Manor, in their backyard. The decorations were beautiful, Y/n was sat there on the bed scared and alone. She was scared that she would mess everything up like she always does. There was a slight knock on her door.
“ Come in” she said looking at herself in the mirror once again, her head snapped towards the door as soon as she saw the persons reflection in the mirror.
“Fred” she whispered under her breath, while he stood there looking at her with awe
“You look..... beautiful” he said starring into her eyes.
“ How did you find my room, and how did you even get in here”
“ Nothing Daddy Fred can’t do” he replied making her her burst into giggles while he walked closer to her “ I.. I brought you these thought you’d like them” he said handing out her favorite flowers.
“ They’re beautiful, I love them” she said with bright smile.
“ I put a charm on it, they’ll never die. Thought I’d give it to you as a sign of my love for you” he said placing his hand on her cheek “ You deserve to be happy Y/n, I hope know that Draco is very lucky to have you” he said looking in her eyes “ You know at first I thought I’d rather hang myself than watch you marry him but then I thought about it and how I can cherish you being happy even if its with someone else. I know you say that you’re not happy with all this and maybe you don’t like the way this is happening but deep down you want this, you want to be with Draco. I can see it in your eyes, and I’m happy that you can be with the person you want to be with” he said never breaking the eye contact, Y/n’s heart started beating fast upon hearing the truth from Fred’s mouth, yes she didn’t like the way it was happening but she did want to marry Draco.
“ Fred I don’t think I’ll ever find someone who will love me like you, I don’t think I’ll ever find someone who is half as good as you are” she said pulling him into a tight hug.
“ Of course you won’t, I’m Fred Weasley darling I’m one of a kind” he said with a playful smirk on his face as they both burst out in laughter “ Everything’s going to be alright” he said
“ Fred, thank you” she says and he just places a kiss on her cheek taking one last glace at her before leaving her room.
Y/n walks out the room and looks at father wearing a nice suit, she could see his eyes were filled with tears at the sight of her.
“ You’ve grown so much, I know you didn’t want this and I’m sorry that I forced you to do this and that I said and did some pretty bad things. But I love you and if you would’ve disagreed to this The Dark Lord would’ve killed you. I’m sorry” he said now crying.
“ Well then lets be happy that I agreed to this” she said loping her arms with his.
As she walks out she looks at numerous amount of people looking back at her, she gracefully walks down the aisle with her father. And then she looks at him, she could see Draco smiling brightly as she returned the smile.
Draco could swear his heart skipped a few beats at the sight of her, he was on cloud nine, she was looking like an angle walking down from heaven. All Draco could think about was pulling her into a soft kiss, Draco kept staring into her eyes as he takes her soft hands into his.
“ You look... exquisite” he said trying to find the perfect words
“ Thank you, you clean up well” she replies making Draco roll is eyes.
“ Seriously, couldn’t you say I look handsome or something”
“ No” she replies giggling softly as he smiles at her.
“ Now for the vows Mr. Malfoy” says the Minister
“ I Draco, take you, Y/n, for my lawful wife, to have to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish till death us do part” he says still not breaking the eyes contact
“ I Y/n, take you, Draco, for my lawful husband, to have to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish till death us do part” she vows smiling at Draco.
“ May we have the rings” say the Minister “ Each take a ring” he continues as Draco and Y/n grab the ring.
“ Now do you. Draco Lucius Malfoy take Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n as your wife?”
“ I do” says Draco
“ And do you Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n take Draco Lucius Malfoy as your husband?”
“ I do” she says as they both slipped the ring on each other finger, both their heart fluttered as their skin came into contact.
“ I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride” the Minister says and Draco doesn’t hesitate to pull her into a kiss as both of them smile into the kiss as the whole crowd cheers clapping their hands.
and we’re back! i’ve not really been feeling very good about the book, but it’s not for the usual ”the prose just isn’t doing it” reason [i think that's something i’m going to feel for all my projects tbh], but rather an actual productivity goal: that i won’t finish this novel by the end of 2020. for context, i started this novel in april and decided that it would be 80k words long and it would take me 8-9 months to finish, give or take. i still think that this is a reasonable goal, as i managed 10k words a month really well in the first few months. but i was a dumb fool, and did not factor in how sch**l and my mental health would play into the process. by not accounting for these external factors, i basically made myself disappointed at not finishing my [very, very loosely scheduled] goal.
i’m actually not at all a fan of word count goals, and have never really liked the concept of defining my worth as a writer by how fast i write. and frankly writing my first novel within a year is really good? like i am still proud of myself for writing house plants and i do think that when i finish the first draft i’ll feel incredibly proud [as i should!]. it’s just a weird headspace of not meeting my own timeframe expectations. the last few months have been gruelling for lots of reasons and not having luck with my book has also,,, not been helping lol. that being said, i’m slowly coming to terms with the change of plan and you know what! as long as i finish this novel and am happy about it!! the time it took doesn't have to define its worth!!! that was an incoherent ramble but also when is anything i say not.
and this is a vignette chapter from the present-day timeline! we follow lilith as she tries to read a book both willow and june really liked, but ends up hating it and feeling bad about not liking it, as it’s the favourite book of the two most important people of her childhood.
It bored me, I admit. I don’t want to, of course, because both you and June love the words I didn't feel for. It feels sinful to dislike what you cherish.
The mirror hasn't moved and I still stand there like a phantom. I’m so tired. Why am I tired?
I’ve not even been dreaming of you recently.
It’s strange not having your porcelain voice drift in my sleep and stranger still that I’m not thinking about you every second of the day. I give myself a time slot to reminisce. I let myself mourn for hours, and maybe this self-therapy is what stoppered you in my head. I certainly hope so. I don’t miss dreaming you drown.
probably my fave chapter ever [in terms of scenes]!! there’s a lot of things happening [it's like,,,, the longest chapter so far]; we basically catch up to lilith’s relationship with every character, each one in a half-fragmented scene. she goes to the store with faun, is assigned to a school project with june as her partner, has marcy over for a sleepover [and this one has a small coming out scene where marcy talks about her aroace-ness, except she doesn't have a term for it since it's the 1970s], and of course an unsettling conversation with willow. the gang is on the verge of a massive argument, and it’s pretty clear that something has changed with all of them. we follow lilith as she tries to reconcile with this sudden shift of things.
It’s strange how quiet sorrow is. It bustles up on you, every clue laid bare, and you never see it. Marcy had tears soiling her face, scarring her cheeks. How many times had this crisis made her cry? I didn't say anything. I held my palm out to her, and she clutched it tight. Her skin was callous and uncared after.
”I just feel so lonely.”
this is from the scene with marcy, after she opens up about her lack of romantic attraction. [i think i’ve talked about this before but i wrote the bare bones of this scene months ago, immediately once i’d gotten the idea, because i was going through a crisis™ with my own identity and so writing it was catharsis as i was starting to come to terms with my own aroaceness] this is,,, a very interesting scene because marcy’s the kind of person who’d rather die than be vulnerable about herself, so her being open about her issues is very very rare. i also want to give her a massive hug.
”She always favoured her, obviously. In a way, I think I have my mother to blame for spoiling Hailey. Letting her pick on me.” You frowned, took a large gulp of the still steaming liquid. ”She used to bully me every day. Pull my hair, dirty my clothes, cut up my school notes. I didn’t like her all that much then.”
They say not to speak ill of the dead. Especially if the dead was someone you loved and had forgotten, someone whose grave was your safe space. ”She didn’t seem like a good person, ” was all I muttered. Traitor.
”No, ” you agreed, satisfied. ”No, she wasn’t.”
and here is exhibit 1837 why we don’t like willow! [rip to the 20+ people who got her on the character uquiz]. also a sort-of aunt hailey cameo, the person we all love.
”Yeah, the weather makes me too dozey.”
”Dozey isn’t a word.”
”Of course it isn’t.” He leaned onto her shoulder, and within minutes their eyes shut, their drowsiness spelling them both into slumber. Juniper and I exchanged glances. How did they go from yelling at each other, arguing till dawn if we hadn’t intervened, to this? As if a sultry sunset could resolve their issues, as if somehow a story exchanged is a sorry exchanged.
this scene happens immediately after marce and faun fight, so lilith and june are in awe at how quickly they resolved it. i think i’ve talked about this before but my absolute favourite thing about writing these characters is marce and faun’s dynamic. they’re both lowkey in a qpr except yanno it's the 1970s so they don't know the term yet.
Look at us. Marcy the secretive, Faun the obsessive, Lilith the absent-minded. Juniper the one good thing amongst us, until we bled into her head and she had a fuck-up of her own.
lilith i beg you to calm tf down.
this chapter is,,,, so wild. it starts with a really said willow/lilith interaction, in the middle lilith goes to an arcade and does not cope well, and finally it ends on a very gay luniper interaction. we stan range, your fave could never.
Our house was a slump of cement when the rains came around: the plumbing would crackle and fizz as if thunder had built camp there, the soft paint would be mossed and smothered with mud, and the ivy that curled on the rooftops, like barbed wire, would wither in stagnant water and die in clumps. You could stand under the rooftops and catch a few of the rotting vines if you were unlucky enough— the chlorophyll already sucked out, and the residue a corpse of dark green— and the decay would ruin your porch as much as it ruined your day. Every house was plagued with unhealth and the air was dirty and sediment in your lungs. Laceflies stuck to windows and shed their wings. Everyone was sick from the cold or sick of the weather and wished to sleep forever.
the biggest plot hole of this novel is how this two-person family can afford this house. i posted this in a last line tag but i really liked it so putting it here too. this is the opening and i’m not sharing anything else hhhhh.
chapter eighteen & nineteen
these two chapters go kind of hand in hand [they are titled the same but split into two parts: ”colour wheel, part one” and ”colour wheel, part two”]. the main plot thread is that the gang goes to a fair outside of kingston, which is also lilith’s first time leaving her hometown and being exposed [physically] to the outside world. it’s a pretty important scene and one that i’d been dying to write for so long.
The impromptu field trip was planned by Marcy. Of course it was— she bombshelled her way through the week, detailing lists, sprinting her errands, pulling strings with our families. You’d agreed without prompting, had said, ”You could use a break, ” and then semi-submerged back into your book and the bathtub, like a crocodile, or dying algae.
lilith: i absolutely cannot find anything wrong or negative about my mother as she is the sweetest.
also lilth: *compares willow to a crocodile*
alright 🙄 we get it you (rightfully) salty woman. adult!lilith holds so much power tbh.
I judged the surroundings, and the first thing I noticed was the empty horizon. There were no trees for miles. No forest cover, no canaries, no leaves that balleted down to bury into the mud. A million lamposts and tents could have spined against the sky— pierced through its cellophane cyan and turned it multicolour— but it would never compensate. Butter assaulted my nose, crawled up my windpipe and propagated. It struck me that I could be overreacting. People screamed, parading from ride to ride, but why? If pain were fun, I should have been having the time of my life.
yes i know you’ve seen that last like numerous times now, it’s still my fave thing ever.
”We usually don’t put on the radio, ” I explained out loud.
”Don’t mesh well?”
”Marcy listens to the news for fun so you tell me.” Faun’s interruption earns him a punch from our driver.
”Rock is the only way out, ” said Juniper.
”I bet Faun’s going to say you have zero taste.
”Thank you for the addition, Lil.” He nodded, bluffing seriousness. ”I see we have another uncultured person in our midst.”
”I bet you listen to like Chopin or whatever the fuck.”
”You would be correct.”
I giggled. Faun glared, crossed his arms.
”I’m not having this conversation, goodbye.”
god i love them.
i was so proud of this chapter that i posted the entirety of it HERE!!! enjoy the only time you get a nice bit of sampling of the novel’s content. and that’s it for today! taglists are under the cut.
when they / you breathe for the last time, right in front of their / your eyes
content warning ! character death, major spoilers, grief
WATER PILLAR ! GIYUU TOMIOKA
Love had, and love lost.
When he is given a false sense of contentment, a loved one has fallen, his loved ones had fallen. Collapsing, disappearing within the blink of an eye to what he knows is inevitable, is that why he cannot sleep in peace? Unable to close an eye, scared to open them back up and meet with a pair of dulled out, deadbeat eyes in a realistic nightmare.
Only that tonight is not a horrible dream, and this lifeless body before him, had belonged to nobody but you.
You weren’t allowed any final words, you weren’t allowed to shoo away his doubts because he does not deserve any chance to feel better. Everything comes down to be his fault, he is to be blamed to further the inferiority he has towards himself - why did it had to be you? It was supposed to take him, he’s made an unofficial deal with death every single night under every single prayer that he can remember: for the reaper to come swing by and take what remains of him to pay back those that got caught up in his own deeds, it’s the only way he can make up.
“I can’t save anybody.”
Giyuu, contemplates his depleting merit while you remain gone. Spending days in total isolation, wondering if all this afflict was worth the salvation for the world. No, it was worth it - it is he, that amounts to nothing.
Why should he be bothered to live on?
STONE PILLAR ! GYOMEI HIMEJIMA
This was an expected result.
He has his back glued to the walls to prevent him from crashing down, he has no energy to sit up without any support as he’s exerted all that vitality on Muzan ... and it doesn’t bother him one bit to know that it came to good use till the very end. You are okay, most of his comrades are, and that is all that matters. When there is the people he cares for the most that surrounds him, spilling out any regrets or things they’ve been dying to tell him all this time, he knows that this was all worthwhile.
So, don’t think this was all in vain. It’ll hurt him if he hears anything negative come out of your mouth at this moment, especially when he mumbles something you don’t want to hear.
“I don’t have much time.”
Short and sweet, almost - he has to get that across so you don’t go scourging for false hope. That’ll only bring you down, he doesn’t want none of that.
“Stay healthy and safe, please ... That’s all I will ask for.”
... You promise you will, it is the least you could do for him at a time like this. If he wishes for something, then you will do everything in your power to make that come true. He too, would do the same if you just asked, though you knew that this time would not be possible. So you don’t ask, you kept silent.
And he closes his eyes, Gyomei had already breathed out for the last time.
Now it is your turn to cry.
FLAME PILLAR ! KYOJURO RENGOKU
Give up what you no longer need.
He carries a lighthearted conversation with death at the end of it. Limited time, and still he spends it all by asking how your days have been while he was away training, what you should expect in the near future, how much he is proud of you for growing as a person, and a slayer. You know that he looks forward to you carrying on with your life so none of this goes to waste.
Tears included, you shouldn’t have discarded them so easily like that - attempting to wipe most of them away with only a smile because that is the most he can do for you now. He’s trying to reassure you that everything will come together amidst this tragedy, you just have to believe.
You have to believe him.
“Don’t cry ...”
He wants you to roam a world free of malevolent demons, that’s been both of your objectives since forever now, and so he must put his depleting life on the line in exchange for said paradise because there is no god who asks for nothing. The fair trade of giving up his own spirit for the happiness of you, he knows it’s mutual too.
Rengoku wants you to be happy, always.
LOVE PILLAR ! MITSURI KANROJI
Oblivion is all that matters.
She’s in your arms for what remains in her last chapter. A lousy, strained smile - thrown carelessly at you despite the critical condition she currently resides in. There is no pain pulsating through her body, and there is no telling that she’d see another day with you because you know by past knowledge that the girl in your arms, is dying. Behind green glazed eyes, are there still lots of adoration she’d plan on spoiling you for a while now.
Using the left-over strength from the battle, she sheds some light on a final request.
“Can I be yours ... in another life?”
You reply to the mutual desire with a whisper brushed against her knuckles, you placed a heartfelt against the back of her hand - it is a yes. A definite answer, you’d chant it until the sun rises. The butterflies swarm down from her head, fluttering continuously, touching her delicate heart in your stead.
“I-I love you so much [Name] !”
Happiness isn’t eternal. She knows that you have to take what you can during the moment before it slips away through your fingers when you think it is safe to lessen the hold. Do not take things for granted, she’s learned, that is why Mitsuri is bathing in plenty of elation with you right by her side - supporting her through this consequence as a former lover. To have helped aided in overcoming Muzan is enough for her to leave with the same smile she blessed you people with moments before the turbulence struck.
She dies in, and with your happiness.
SNAKE PILLAR ! OBANAI IGURO
Love, to him, is a war against himself.
Dying is something he hasn’t cared for, nor dreaded - it is a part of life, it proves that he was human. But now that someone like you, so bright and full of life, is intertwined with his pitiful life ... He’s finding it hard to accept this fate after this concluding battle. Why is it now, that he looks forward to Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, every single day? Well, he had someone to share those formally dismally days ... but he has to abandoned those wistful desires because he is dying.
The least he can do now is share some words of comfort, you shouldn’t be wasting those precious tears on him ... but he’s relieved to know that you still cared for him despite anything he said. To be cherished is good enough for him to somewhat let go, there is someone else out there better for you, anyways.
“I promise, I’ll be someone better for you.”
The pain doubles when your dying partner begins to spill his hidden insecurities and doubts for the final moments with you, bringing himself down even more than he possibly can to make up for all the times he’s criticized you. No, you ensure him that you knew he did so because he cared, you didn’t take any to heart.
He laughs for the first time in a while, he laughs in relief.
You’re sure good at making people feel better about themselves, it is one of the reasons he’s fell for you after all - being with you, is like a breath of fresh air. He’s glad that you are his last.
“... I love you.”
Iguro formally asks if you can watch over his brethren, Kaburamaru.
It is a final wish ... and he knows you’ll take good care of him.
WIND PILLAR ! SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA
Afraid to love, afraid to cherish.
He'd plan on driving others away to spare himself from subsequent heartache, but you were too stubborn to let him rot alone in his own hopeless pit that has been dug. You weren’t meant to be caught up in his turmoil, you weren’t destined to die, and yet you lied peacefully on reciprocally cold pavement as he does his best to collect himself so he doesn’t go destroying the mental fortitude that has been building for ages. All that hard work, is nothing more than a genuine waste of effort and time to conceal the upcoming grief.
“ ’Nemi ....”
Your breaths are fitfully weak. It matches the gloomy setting all too well, giving him flashbacks pertaining his deceased brother. His knees are glued tightly to the ground, raising your head slightly above onto his lap as in act of desperation, anything to get you to start breathing properly. You let him know that everything had turned out alright, now that the conflict has been resolved at last, there shouldn’t be more people he could lose now.
Sanemi chokes on an overwhelmed sob, he’s never felt so powerless. The hands that carried his relentless posture - starts to tremble out of apprehension as they reached your face cautiously to cover your half-lidded eyes. It sparks uncertainty, but he is here to address it.
“I don’t want you to see me ... cry.”
he gathers in what he can assume is heavy amounts of self-hatred, confined hatred he has been holding against himself wordlessly - before coming down in the form of crystalline tears.
Sanemi hates every inch of love because all it had to offer was pain alongside the guise of the ability to protect. What a joke. He could not shield you away from danger as he is a hazard himself. He should’ve kept you far, far from him. It hurts to love, it hurts to live on from this misery.
If he was going to be lonely in the end, then maybe he should’ve been from the very beginning.
INSECT PILLAR ! SHINOBU KOCHOU
Words did hurt.
And it establishes itself when the final announcements that holds the detested answer to your dying question, was she okay? Was she at least breathing, holding onto dear life being treated by the second? Was she even alive? Countless prayers are being mumbled under your breath obsessively as you wait to hear any announcement pertaining her that shall be heard in the next ten, to twenty minutes.
Oh, how you wish you prepared yourself beforehand. Perhaps it would’ve been easier to handle this situation when hearing that she is no longer here.
“Why is it ... why you -”
You stumble on a garbled mess of sounds upon the grieving news. There’s an impediment lodged far down your throat all of a sudden, and you cannot breathe as properly anymore ... hyperventilating, clawing at your neck, anything that’ll distract you from the thought of not having the woman by your side. There is only despair waiting alongside you.
The regret of not having told her the fluttering feelings is biting at your eyes.
“I didn’t get to tell you my feelings.”
Shinobu ... is just someone you weren’t suppose to get close to. You both knew that, you both knew how risky it is to be a demon slayer.
But even so,
to long for someone is human.
To hurt others is human.
And to fall on your knees and break, is also human.
SOUND PILLAR ! TENGEN UZUI
That’s the apparent truth he’s been running aimlessly from all his life, and will remain to because he’s too afraid to turn around and face the truth: that is the cause of your demise. Nothing’s changed, Uzui is still that dastard he’s spoken badly about for years now. Your head rests calmly atop his bloodied lap, dirtied by the wounds that lay at your neck ... and weirdly enough, you two are still sharing a somewhat bittersweet time together.
Well he wants to. he has the choice to make the best of this than for it to last a saddening memory deeply engraved at the back of his head, you’d notice the lost look in his eyes as he stares ahead with his head in the clouds - so you’d take the job of bringing him back down to Earth, and come face-to-face with the cruel reality.
Grabbing onto his hand, giving a light squeeze to pair off with the heartbreaking apology that you never owed.
“Uzui ... I’m sorry ... I let you down -”
He shuts your foolish statement down with a gentle hush, begging silently with his saddened eyes for you to be quiet, and accept these solace-laced words.
“No, I’ve never been this proud ... you did good, [Name]. You did better than I could."
He swallows the incoming sob, he has no right to show any tears. Not when you’re like this, he cannot.
“So rest now, you deserve it.”
Uzui is announced to be retired from now on. from being included in the pillars, he’d spend the rest of his time back at home with his wives, and you’ll never leave his mind.
if you would like to see smth like this with muichirou’s, then you are more than welcome to check ‘ see you again. ‘
a/n: alright this series has been on my mind a lot lately and i’ve always wanted to write an imagine on (y/n)’s wedding day pretty much ever since i started this blog sooo here it is! this is the first story in a 3 part series called Where Love Takes You. hope you guys like it!
(c/n) got down on one knee, and my heart stopped. My hands flew up to my face in surprise. He smiled.
“You make me so happy. Since the day you entered into my life I knew that you were the one.” He said. Tears started streaming down my cheeks and I wiped them away with my hands. “(y/n) (y/l/n), will you marry me?” He asked. I nodded quickly.
“Yes,” I said, laughing. “Yes, yes, yes of course!” I said, crying with joy. (c/n) smiled and grabbed my hand, sliding the ring on. It was absolutely beautiful. Then he stood up and I threw my hands around his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist and picked me up off the ground, burying his face in the crook of my neck.
“I love you.” I whispered. He pulled away and kissed my forehead, then my cheek, then my nose, then finally my lips. His lips rolled over mine, capturing them in a sweet, memorable kiss. Then we pulled away and he smiled.
“I love you too.”
I was tired, barely able to sleep the night before in anticipation for today. This was the best day of my life, I was too excited to sleep. It didn’t matter much anyway, I was too excited to feel tired. (c/n) and I had slept in two different rooms at the hotel we booked. Today after the ceremony and the party we would check into the honeymoon suite as a married couple.
As I was getting my makeup done, one of the bridesmaids came in with my mother.
“Oh you look so beautiful sweet pea.” She said, tucking stray hairs away into my bun. “Have you decided on a final look for hair?” She asked. I nodded, staying silent but with a smile on my face.
“This is gonna be a wonderful day. (c/n) is so lucky to have you always remember that.” She said, now stroking my hair and looking at me in the mirror. I smiled.
“I’m lucky to have him mom.” I said chucking. She shrugged and sat down, picking up a magazine.
“He’s gonna take care of you right?” She asked.
“Yes he will, and I’ll take care of him. He’s a good guy.” I responded. I saw her slight smile in the mirror.
“I know sweetie. I’m just your mom so you know I worry.” She said. I hopped off the chair, makeup done, and went over to hug her.
“I know you do. But don’t worry everything is going to be perfect. I love him and he loves me and that’s all we need.” I smiled.
“Alright alright go get your hair done before I start crying.” She said, giving me another hug.
After I got my makeup and hair done I got into my dress and stepped out into the hall, walking to the room we were taking our first picture together as a couple. (c/n) and I decided we wanted to feel each other before the wedding but both believed in the tradition of not seeing your partner on the day of the wedding. When we saw this picture of a couple online holding hands on opposite sides of a wall, it seemed so wholesome we knew we wanted to try it.
Leaning against the wall, I reached my hand out behind the door frame, searching for a familiar hand. Then I felt his fingers, intertwining with mine. I brought my other hand up to my face, overcome with emotion. The photographer took the picture and I could only imagine what (c/n) was thinking, wondering if this was as big of a deal to him as it was to me. It was really a very simple thing, but we were about to get married and spend the rest of our lives together. Just to feel him, without seeing his face, knowing that he was on the other side of that wall, was everything.
“You guys are so dang cute (y/n) you’re gonna die when you see this photo.” (y/f), my maid of honor said. I smiled and put my finger under both my eyes, stopping the tears from falling so it doesn’t ruin the wedding makeup. (c/n) squeezed my hand, making me smile.
“Alright alright you two as adorable as this is, we gotta keep going and you can’t look at each other yet so no peeking!” One of my bridesmaids said, coming up to me and pulling me away from the wall. (c/n) held onto my hand till the last second, keeping our pinky’s hooked until we were both pried away from each other. I looked over my shoulder to see his hand disappear behind the wall and sighed.
As the last bridesmaid walked down, the music started playing and everyone stood up, looking down the line towards me. I stepped out onto the white carpet leading up to the alter. I breathed in a shaky breath and looked up at my dad who had his arm locked with mine. He smiled and squeezed my arm, then we started walking down the isle. I looked towards the alter and saw (c/n) for the first time today. He was handsomely dressed in a black tux and a tie. I smiled at him and he smiled back. Suddenly it hit me, i’m getting married.
“You’ll hold me up if I faint right?” I whispered to my dad. He chuckled.
“Of course. Nervous?” He asked.
“Not at all,” I smiled up at him. “Excited.” He smiled and kissed my forehead lovingly, finally reaching the altar. As I stepped up I realized that (c/n) had tears forming in his eyes. I bit my lip to keep from smiling too wide.
“Please be seated.” The officiant addressed the audience. “I’d like to begin by welcoming everyone and thanking each and every one of you for being here on this most happy of days. Each of you were invited to be here because you represent someone important in the individual and collective lives of (y/n) and (c/n). I am lucky enough to have been asked to officiate this wedding between two of my very good friends...
The officiant was a friend of both (c/n) and mine, he was actually the one that set us up. He made his personal speech, then went on with the ceremony.
“We are gathered together here to join (y/n) and (c/n) in the union of marriage.” He said. Eventually we shared our vows, shedding a few tears.
“And now: (y/n), do you take (c/n) to be your husband? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect him/her, forsaking all others, and holding only unto him/her forevermore?” He asked.
“I do.” I said, smiling even more.
“And (c/n), do you take (c/n) to be your wife? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect him/her, forsaking all others, and holding only unto him/her forevermore?”
“I absolutely do.” (c/n) replied, grinning ear to ear. We exchanged rings, and (o/f) continued with another lovely speech.
“And now by the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife! (c/n), you may now kiss the bride.” He finished, smiling. (c/n) pulled me in and brought his hand to my face, cupping my cheeks and gently pressing his lips against mine. The crowd cheered and clapped for us as we broke apart, smiling like idiots at each other. We turned towards our friends and family and (c/n) raised our hands up in the air and said,
“We’re married!” He exclaimed. He kissed me again and we walked down the isle hand in hand.
“God you’re so beautiful.” He said, moving my hair behind my ear and touching my cheek as we danced. I smiled and kissed his nose which always made him blush. Seeing the light pink appear on his cheeks, I leaned in and kissed him for real, keeping our lips together for a few seconds before pulling back away.
“I can’t believe we’re married. It’s so surreal.” I said, smiling.
“I can believe it. I’ve been waiting to marry you since the day I met you.” He said, making me blush now.
“What did I do to deserve someone as sweet as you?” I said, putting my hand on the back of his neck and scratching lightly at his hair with my fingers. He sighed and moved his head next to mine.
“You can’t do that love we’re in public.” He whispered into my ear, making me shiver.
“You’ll just have to keep yourself in check Mr. (c/l/n).” I whispered back.
“Mm when we get out of here you’re in trouble Mrs. (c/l/n).” I smiled big. That was the first time I heard someone call me by his last name. When he pulled back to look at me he saw how excited I was at the name and smiled along with me.
“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you Mrs. (c/l/n).” He said, using his last name again.
“Me neither Mr. (c/l/n).”
part two part three
Hope you enjoyed that, thanks so much for reading! Make sure to follow, like, share, and have a wonderful day! New Imagines every Thursday at 5 pst :)
or glimpses of before and after christmas of 1947 .
AFTER : taliesin lestrange is home, if not for good, then for a while, and he plans to take action, to make his family proud.
BEFORE : there is a boy who sits, for the most part alone, hurting, in a room somewhere in the swiss alps. sometimes he’s allowed to come home for parties.
BIG , WANNA BE . i wanna be big, bigger than life, i’m gonna be huge or i just won’t feel right. there’s snow on the ground outside, but it’s the first time in a decade when christmas doesn’t feel like a taunting reprieve. you used to know that the weights they lifted off your shoulders for the holidays were still hanging above you, ready to be replaced come the new year. this time is different though, you’ve found the plans to secure them, to better distribute the weight. this time it will work, this time the pain won’t be yours, this time your father will smile when he sees your work and accept you as his son. you just have to act boldly. you can’t ask me to stop, i push it on my own, i’ve been through way too much shit to ever let this go.
SICK JOKE . sometimes i wonder if life is some sick joke, will i wake up and it’s over ? every day hurt when you were there. the easier days were exhausting, the worse days painful or frightening. sometimes you wished for it all to go away, sometimes you wished for home, sometimes you wished you could just sleep a little bit longer. mostly, you wished someone would tell you that things were going to be okay. would you tell me that i’m okay ? that i’m still here and i’m not dead.
DISLOYAL ORDER OF WATER BUFFALOES . i’m coming apart at the seams, pitching myself for leads in other people’s dreams. new starts aren’t clean, cut and dry things, like they were in the stories you loved as a child. you gave up on the idea that magic would spring from your unsteady hands if you just found the right circumstance years ago ( the phrase the right circumstance was a weapon in their hands, wasn’t it ? ), but you kept it to yourself after the one time you didn’t. that was a mistake. the thought seems clearer, more focused, now that you have a bit more time before you have to get on that train again. when they tell your family’s story though, this will be the moment they say you made the choice to forge your own way, even if its been beneath the surface for far longer. and i’d promise you anything for another shot at life, imperfect boys with their perfect ploys, nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy.
PLEA FROM A CAT NAMED VIRTUE . and listen, about those bitter songs you sing ? they’re not helping anything. when some of your wishes finally came true, you arrived home with exhausted limbs and psyche. still, you straightened your spine and attended the parties your parents directed you to. yet, when you didn’t have to paint on a smile, you buried yourself in comfort and sound. large sweaters at the piano at first, then under blankets with the phonograph on once the bench no longer offered the feeling of consolement, but rather only reminded you of where you had gone wrong. we’ll pass around the easy lie of absolutely no regrets.
MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM . but i don’t want to burn out, so won’t you please set me on fire again? i woke up afraid of losing everything, thank god that i already have. besides your image, you have nothing to lose. outcast already, or perhaps more accurately, held at a distance just comfortable enough for your parents ; careful, this toy is marked for display only, the image of you is his creation. combine that with the acceptance you’ve reached, and it creates something dangerous. there’s a dark fire inside of you, and all it wants is acceptance, but here you are, pushing people away and looking for what you need in all the wrong places. but since the day i was born, it’s been too late for me to be anything but what i am tonight.
LIAR [ IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE ] . we’ve got twenty six days to work with, we’ll see what all gets done. the short sprints they brought you home for only offered so much rest, certainly not enough to make up for a whole semester at beauxbatons. still, you did your best, not wanting to disappoint. lies became the seventh language in your repertoire, the first six having failed to impress your father the way you hoped they would. it’s still a question of “ how long will this hold ? ”
THE WOLF . you’ll keep telling me i’m bad for me and worse for the world, you keep telling me i’m bad. now that you’re home, home for longer than you’ve been in quite some time, your father takes it upon himself to remind you more frequently how you could ruin everything. you exist in a paradoxical state of being the cherished son and the worst thing that ever happened to him. it drives you to keep pushing, find your own ways to claw to success. this was never about becoming a monster, something cruel, but here you are. my teeth are sharpest when i tear out the truth, am i the boy who cried or am i the wolf ?
PANIC ATTACK . i wanna be normal, i wanna be sane, i wanna look at you and feel something other than pain. this isn’t working, this isn’t working. you want to scream, but the last time you had even raised your concerns you could barely speak above a whisper. the last time it didn’t end well. one day you’ll grow out of this, you make that the second promise you’ll one day live up to. for now, you’ll just try to remember how to breathe. i wanna sleep till i can’t feel anything, i want a fix, i want a friend, i wanna cut these nerves from under my skin.
BAD GUY . i guess if i gotta play the villain, i’ma sign a deal and make a killing. what would you do to make this happen ? what would you do to make this work out ? anything, anything. you would do whatever you had to. you don’t think about what the group you joined is really doing, not because if you did you would come to some deeper revelation ( they are just expanding on the beliefs you’ve been taught since you were young, the same ideas you used to make yourself feel better about what you were when things seemed the darkest ), but because you don’t care. if this is the way the world is going, you need to be there. the ends will justify the means. gotta make ends and make amends, pay cash when i’m paying for my sins. .
POINT / COUNTERPOINT . i’ve got a gun in my hand but the gun won’t cock, my finger’s on the trigger but that trigger seems locked. the magic is supposed to be inside of you, and they’ve tried nearly everything to draw it out. it isn’t working. the days begin to blend together and you make very little progress. their methods get more extreme, which makes the days feel longer and harder to tell apart. and the days, and the days they seem like forever, but forever isn’t ever enough.
WTF IS SLEEP . finding comfort in feeling like hell and it’s only the things you do and say that you regret. that feeling doesn’t go away. the one you promised yourself was because of where you were, the one you told yourself you would out grow. it follows you, and you start to wonder if it’s something more inherent ; another piece of difference or maybe some curse that’s slipped in and replaced the gifts you were supposed to posses. set no alarm cause i am totally guaranteed to wake to my chest beating for miles ahead of me.
PERFECT . and now i try hard to make it, i just want to make your proud. you tried so hard, didn’t you ? you tried so hard, i know. you wonder if they’ve given up hope too, if that’s why they agreed to this extended break. you back your bags, not for the last time, but at least for the last time in a while. this place, for all its pain, reminded you that they cared. as the days till your return slip away, you become less and less sure about what’s happening, about going home for longer than a summer break. this is all you’ve ever known, but you also know there’s nothing else they can do for you. you can’t pretend that i’m alright, and you can’t change me.
I JUST WANT TO SELL OUT MY FUNERAL . i just want to be enough for everyone, i just want to sell out my funeral, know that i fought until the lights were gone. while things are different now, your motivations are much the same. the frightened eleven year old boy who stepped off the train station with hope that he could unlock was inside of him is only inches different from the adult who collects information like it is currency and with little care for who he harms when he makes purchases. there was a promise made of who you would be when you were born, and by the time you die you want to fulfill it. you still think it’s your fault that you haven’t yet, and no one has told you anything different. i'll stay thankful for mild winters, for every shot i got at anything, i’ll blame the flaws that i was born with or the mistakes that i’ve made.
FORTUNATE SON . some folks are born silver spoon in hand, lord, don’t they help themselves. sometimes you wonder what it would be like to be like morys. you know, sitting on the train back to wales, that’s who your parents wish you were. or someone like him. they threw exorbitant amounts of money at your particular issue but they couldn’t make you anything like him. that’s not who you are ... you’ll have to find your own way. that doesn’t mean you don’t feel a little guilty. it ain’t me, it ain’t me, i ain’t no fortunate one.
Summary: It has been two years since you met Curt Wild. Does any of it still matter to the two of you.
2 years later
He wrapped an arm around your middle, and pulled close. His breath was hot on your bare shoulder. “Think this through. You’re just upset. Keep the keys.”
Every fiber of your being wanted to scream. You twisted free of him. “Look, after I walked in and saw you two, I told you, we’re over.”
“Says, the girl who willingly gave her virginity to a fucking rockstar.” There was the bitter edge that came out when he drank.
“Your gonna throw that in my face?”
“I’m getting angry. She meant nothing to me. You should know that?”
“Well, fuck you. He was more honest with me then you were.”
A cynical bark of a laugh burst forth from him. “You were probably just another notch on his belt of all the other virgins he banged on the road.”
“I don’t have to stand for this. Fuck you.”
Turning, you left slamming the door behind you. Over the course of this last year, it had been a roller coaster with him. You were not going to take it any longer. You deserved better.
It had been a long week. You finished up the last of your papers for the semester. Right in the midst of this, when you thought things were good between you two, you went to see him.
Seeking refuge from all your school work and there was his secretary blowing him on the sofa. There was no way that could be the first time as he claimed. So a straight scotch had your name on it.
Going, home you did something you had not done in ages, looking through your records, you found one of Curt Wild’s. You smiled to yourself, it was the same one you had managed to buy before the concert.
Soon, Curt Wild’s voice filled your apartment. Feeling the excitement you had years ago you shed your clothes. You drew yourself a bath, and let the week and that argument melt away.
“Please put your tables in the upright position and buckle your seat belts, and we will be having a bumpy welcome into London.” Curt bit on his thumb as he looked down at London.
The plane bucked up and down. Curt, rolled his eyes, it was one thing he hated about flying. Turbulence.
He only had flown, seal this contract and do one performance. He hoped it would kick his career into gear now that he was clean. It had been a long two years. Since he’d been to London. He would never touch that shit again, he had almost died.
Curt, jumped as the soft voice filled his ear. Turning to it, he gasped. “Y/N??”
“No, I’m Penelope.” She shrugged and smiled. “But welcome to London.”
He saw her. She was definitely not you.
“I’m sorry.” He unbuckled and moved quickly to disembark.
He was so wrapped up in trying to not face the fear of the turbulence he dozed off. Her accent, had reminded him of you. You...the soft wave of your strands, those full lips, the curve of your hip and those legs. He shook his head.
Going to the luggage carousal to retrieve his bags, he finally met with the rest of the band.
“Are we gonna party tonight Curt?”
He smirked, “Sure. Let me get settled first alright. I’ll ring you all up.”
“Sounds like a plan, buddy.” And his drummer clapped him on the back. His browed creased. “You’re not staying with us?”
“Not this trip, I got a place that I prefer here.”
“Oh...great right. See you later!”
He grabbed, a cab and began making his way to the one place in London where he could get good service and decent accommodations. As the cab weaved, his mind wandered again. Why was he suddenly thinking of you. He had missed you. He had resigned himself, that two years later you were probably happy with whatever consumed you. Some man was surely, cherishing you as they should.
You were such a grounded person. He was certain you were even lovelier now and having to beat men away. And you didn’t need an old bastard like him.
“Thank you.” He said sometime later when the cab stopped in front. He slung the strap of his bag over his shoulder and grabbed his suitcase.
The carpet was still a deep scarlet leading up the main entrance. The ghost of you continued to linger, he remembered taking your hand, it was delicate and small. Your lips curling a genuine smile as you had looked over at him when walking in. With you there was no pretense. No lying. No putting on of airs.
As he walked in, he couldn’t laugh when he saw who was behind the desk. The man, probably didn’t remember him. That would be just fine.
“Look, O’Reily, I hired you build a wall, not the great wall in China, but a wall how hard is that? There is no potato famine going on?”
As he walked up the man’s eyes lit up.
“I am going to hang up before we both die.” He hung up the phone. He smiled broadly then. “Mr. Wildwin, how are you? It’s been an age. We didn’t hear you were coming.”
Curt put his bags down. “Was unexpected. Decided I’d make it work.”
“Very good sir, very good.” He looked around Curt. “And where is the delightful, Mrs. Wildwin?”
Curt, pressed his lips together. “Something, unexpected came up at work.” He figured why dash the hopes of the man. He already had too much anxiety when they had stayed there. Was a miracle he had, not died of a heart attack.
“What a shame!” He clapped his hands then rubbed them together. Curt, nodded.
“How long will you be with us?”
“Fantastic.” He looked down at the room registry. “Ah, found the perfect one.” Turning, on his heel, he grabbed the key. “Here, you go.”
“Thank you.” He took the key.
He tapped a bell. “Manuel!” His thin mustache twitched. “If she does arrive there is more then enough room for her.” He smiled. “Since you decided to stay with again, no charge.”
“That’s really nice, thank you.” Curt, smiled warmly despite the bang of anguish he couldn’t shrug off.
He tapped the bell again. “Manuel.”
“So umm yeah...have the two of you had any little ones yet?”
Curt shook his head. “It’s alright I can walk up.
“You shouldn’t have to.” He made an exasperated sound. “I will show you to your room.” He came around grabbed his bags. “We have a new bell boy. Still training him.”
Curt had to smiled, still neurotic he mused.
Here we are! Like before he made a big sweeping gesture. “If you need anything, please ring down.” He quickly headed back down.
Opening, the door Curt noticed it was the same room, damn. It didn’t matter he told himself.
Getting out of the bath, you changed the record. You felt much better. You still wanted to get that scotch.
You tore through your closet till you found something to wear. Soon you slipped into your new polka dotted dress, to look and feel amazing, you grabbed your scarlet heels. Going through, your jewelry. Your heart stopped. You came across the necklace. You put it on. Nothing about your time with Curt did you regret. No one would ever make you feel ashamed for what you chose to do.
Grabbing your purse, you went out into the night. Looking up at the sky, you saw that the moon was almost full. You loved it.
“Where to?” Asked the hackney* when you got in.
Your fingers were drawn by the pendant that hung low on your throat.
Quickly you gave the name of the hotel. You hoped were still there. And that if it was, that Basil was still there. It wouldn’t be the same without him.
You could go somewhere else later. Your past had fully embraced you. Why not hug it back.
“Thank you.” You stepped up, pleased nothing had changed yet at least. Walking, in you saw the head of a huge moose that looked like it was a bit off but everything else was the same.
“Mrs. Wildwin! You’ve made it!”
Turning, you knew that voice but confusion filled you. Had he finally gone batty, you wondered to yourself. “Basil..ummm....” your voice trailed off as larger then life was Basil alive and still very frenetic.
“Right this way!” Before, you could utter another word, he ushered you the bar in the back. “Would you like a...a...”
“Amaretto sour?” You don’t know why you finished what he was trying to remember but you were swept up in the moment.
“Yes! One of those!”
“Of course, with extra cherries.”
“There he is,” Everything froze, you felt as if a hand wrapped around heart and squeezed it. “He didn’t think you’d make it. Work or something tied you up.” He sighed, exasperated. “But I know people, you give people the reason to believe in love...you two give it class, even if he’s American!” He chortled at the last bit.
“Thank you, I don’t know what to say.” You couldn’t tear your eyes away. Curt, was sitting right there and he looked amazing. He didn’t look like an addict or someone who had overdosed a year ago. Maybe he got clean.
“Oh! Where are your bags?” He looked around you.
“They got lost.”
“Typical!” He scoffed at the air. “Those places don’t know what they are doing. Well go to your husband and I will be over with your drink.”
“Umm....yeah...ahh thank you.” You smiled, holding your breath, you walked over. That’s when he looked over. You couldn’t read his expression before a smile spread across his face.
Basil, came over at that moment. He smiled, at the two of you. “I knew she’d come.” He gave Curt a knowing look. “Couples who are in as much love as you two of can’t be parted.” He put the drink down. He pointed to the bar, “I’ll be there if any more drinks are needed.”
Curt stood up and you took another step closer. “Hello, Y/N.” The next thing you knew, you were in his arms. Once again, like before, the world melted away when you smiled up at him.
“You look amazing.” You flushed, hiding your face.
“I’ve gotten old, I’m a girl in her twenties now.”
“So Basil, doesn’t have a heart attack can I ask for a kiss?”
You had forgotten that your heart could beat that fast and hard. Something uncurled in you, that you had not felt in ages. “Yes.”
His hand, was warm and soft as he drew your face up. As your lips met, your eyes closed. His lips, your lips met like old lovers. They knew what to do and you followed their lead.
Before you realized what was happening, from the pit of your stomach a soft sound came from you. It broke the kiss, but when your eyes met his your dived right into the blue pools.
Your lips met once again, this time you couldn’t help but you follow the need, to deepen it. Inhaling and opening your mouth, you could taste the scotch he had been sipping on. Your tongues, danced around each other they knew something that you had not even knew still slumbered inside of you.
The two of you did need to part, with a reluctance you pulled back. A flush filled your cheeks as you met his eyes again. “That will prevent a heart attack in at least him.” You giggled and sat down next to Curt, your bare knees grazed his slack covered ones.
“Yes, at least in him.”
“What are you doing here?” You wrapped your fingers around the cool glass and pulled it closer to you.
“I could ask you the same thing.”
“I live in London now.”
He smirked. “So you left Camberly.”
You nodded. “I attend a school here. And I have my very own apartment.” You were proud of yourself. You took a sip of your drink. “I finally said, fuck Camberly.” Remembering, what he had said to you.
“Very nice.” He finished the scotch, he looked out at the room, then back at you. “I am here to sign a contract. The band and I are also giving a performance.”
“Oh! That is wonderful.”
He sighed. “Since I’m sober. My old manager left me. This new one is promising me the world.” He shrugged. “They have me over a barrel that I have no interest in being over but it’s good pay and exposure.”
“And it brought you here.” You gave him a small smile.
“My plane had horrible turbulence. I was thinking, that I’d visit some old ghosts.” He grimaced. “I didn’t think Basil would remember me.”
“You are very memorable.” You gave him a small nudge. You gestured to his glass with just ice cubes remaining. “Want another?”
“I could use another.”
“I developed a taste for it. Can I have a taste of the ice while I get you a another?”
“You don’t even have to ask. Just make sure to put the scotch on my room tab.”
Getting up, you grabbed the glasses. You sighed as some of the ice cubes slid around in your mouth. They were coated just enough in a liquid that made your stomach fill with warmth. You leaned against the counter as you tried to realize what had just happened. It was unreal. It left you shaky.
His kisses were still unbelievable and he looked amazing. His hair was longer then it had been, your fingers tingled, you would love to run them through it. It was a miracle you could walk to the bar, that kiss and being so close to him had done something to you.
“So good to have good people like the two of you in here. You’re such a better class of clientele.”
“Well, we enjoy it here.” You look the glasses. “Thank you.” You held up the glasses before walking away.
You put the scotch in front of him, demurely smiling. “So what is this with Basil, why does he think we’re still married?”
He took a sip. “I didn’t have the heart to tell him otherwise.” As his fingertips grazed your skin as he took a hold of the pendant, you inhaled. This was bad, your desire for him was still sharp as if no time had gone by. “So you haven’t told me, why are you here?”
He distracted you so much as he held the pendant, did be realize what it was doing to you. You cleared your throat.
“I was in desperate need to go down memory lane. It led me here.” You sipped at your drink, to distract yourself you took out the plastic sword and pulled one of the cherries into your mouth.
“Memory lane, certainly wasn’t lonely tonight. He nodded. “This still looks good on you.”
“It’s timeless.” His thumb grazed over the crystal.”
You inhaled, “Curt...” your voice faded. Suddenly, you were the eighteen year old, unsure of yourself, following his lead with only moments of bravery.
“Tell me, you feel the same way I do right now.” You said in a rush. Desperate, to feel a certain level of calm, especially if he doesn’t feel the same way you inhaled your drink.
You felt a heat rush through you as you felt his hand on you thigh. “Curt,” you whispered.
“I do.” He squeezed your thigh. “Let’s go to my room.” A smirk played on his lips, as his blue eyes slid over to you. “Our room.”
He silently, thanked whoever was watching over him as he watched you walk up to the bar. His heart, ached as it beat heavily in his chest. Your body, was certainly more of a woman, how your hip curved made him want to sink his teeth into it. Your legs were still shapely. When you smiled, the way your lips curled his memory had not done it justice.
The cool night air had been a welcome relief as he climbed onto the stage that night. As the lyrics poured from his mouth he lost himself in the performance till, he saw you till he heard you. You instantly aroused him, later you intrigued him.
He took a sip of the scotch you put in front of him. He had to stop this train of thought. “ So what is this with Basil, why does he think we’re still married?” You asked, amusement dancing in your eyes.
“I didn’t have the heart to tell him otherwise.”
You had felt like that years ago but now, he doubted it. The fucking press had been brutal to him. You were probably being nice. He took a steep sip of the scotch despite still wishing he had been the ice cubes, you had taken into your mouth. These thoughts would be his undoing.
His hands acted on their own, as he reached over and grabbed the pendant. He loved that a part of him was still with you. An expression, washed over your face, that he couldn’t read. “So you haven’t told me, why are you here?”
He worried, he struck a nerve of some kind when he heard you, clear your throat.
“I was in desperate need to go down memory lane. It led me here.”
He grew harder as he watched you pulled a cherry into your mouth. Those kisses earlier to appease Basil had been almost too much. He wanted more, much more.
“Memory lane, certainly wasn’t lonely tonight. He nodded. “This still looks good on you.” He had to say something, he felt foolish. You probably just saw the washed up musician he had become. “It’s timeless.” He grazed his thumb over the crystal, he wished he was touching you.
“Curt...” There was something in your voice as it faded.
His breath caught in his throat. “Yes.” He could barely speak.
“Tell me, you feel the same way I do right now.”
Did he hear you right, asked himself but he knew. He had heard you right. With his heart in his throat, he placed a hand on your thigh.
“I do.” He squeezed. “Let’s go to my room.” He could not stop the smirked that curled his lips. He looked at you, “Our room.” He added in a whisper.
Watching, him unlock the door, nervousness and excitement filled you. You walked in and smiled when you realized that Basil had given you the same room. “At least, the bedding isn’t the same.” You giggled.
Turning, he locked the door and tossed the keys onto the small table.
He pulled you close, you gasped as felt him. He was as warm and solid as you remembered. “Curt...” you breathed, easily slipping your arms under his black jacket.
I'm making short fanfics about a chubby MC au. I'd try to complete all of them but I'd be posting one by one each. Hope you enjoy!
She is actually accepted in her present time but upon arriving in the late 19th century, she was often teased and bullied in town because of her 'unusual and unlady-like appearance' that resulted for her confidence to be down that worried him.
Leonardo had dragged MC again today to one of his jobs. Not that she hate it, she actually loved each moment with Leonardo, but a part of MC doesn't want to go because of them.
Them meant to be the town ladies that kept tailing and wailing around Leonardo. They were also around him, cluttering and piling on him on occasions that they tend to push her aside each time they were together in town. Not to mention the insults she's getting because of her 'unusual' size that is not near to the usual small waisted woman of the 19th century.
And those kind of days might repeat again any time soon.
Leonardo was asked to paint the portrait of Madame Lisa del Giocondo, an Italian seamstress that became the talk of the town because of her exquisite gown collection that she's putting up for sale in which only the aristocrats of Paris could afford.
MC surely adored the dresses she made when she saw it in display on one of the dress shops while shopping groceries with Sebastian yet later frowned because she knows that probably she wont be able to fit in those hourglass dresses.
Leonardo held her hand on the way to the town, drawing looks from townspeople because it is the Leonardo, the jack of all trades and her special woman, whose special enough as well for him.
MC was flustered along the way, knowing how they were drawing looks left and right and some glaring eyes of the ladies that seemed to spite her existence because of being close to him.
"I don't get how she was that close to Leonardo! She's nothing special, just a space consuming woman!"
"She must have been desperate enough for him that she bewitched him."
"I was even wondering how Leonardo and her can fit together in a bed?"
She have heard all the comments enough and it happens every time she is close to Leonardo.
It does hurt her that she is receiving such hurtful words but, she just wanted tranquility for herself and to avoid inconvenience for Leonardo. Once he picked up something's wrong, he could tell Comte which is unpleasant because of his punishing ways.
God knows what Leonardo could request Comte to do to those people judging her.
"Cara mia? Are you okay or hungry? Would you like to take a break for a little? Three more blocks before we reach Madame' del Giocondo and its pretty early." MC didn't bulge much, just looking at Leonardo before giving him a soft smile, her fluffy cheeks lifted that brought a skip of heart to the mature vampire.
"That's my carina. Now, would you like anything before proceeding?"
"Hm, no. I'm okay. Let's just head to Lady Vargas so you could start painting her and we could head back before dinner."
Leonardo smiled, stealing a quick kiss before he attentively grabbed her by the waist feeling the soft chunks of skin in her bringing a blush to MC's face that can even beat Isaac's favorite red apples.
"L-leo!" She squealed. The people around did look at them, and lots of ladies were in vein wanting to exchange positions with MC.
Leonardo was aware of it.
Every comments and every thing they say to MC is heard by him and he'll show her off to everyone so they could just stand there and die while he's cherishing her and them, especially the vein women envying and insulting her because of her plus sized appearance.
They better just rot there forever since he'll never touch a woman as vein as they do in his immortal life.
"You looked extra pretty today, cara mia! Even prettier than anybody else!" He said out loud, and god knows how many shades of red had painted her face, pulling Leonardo off the place to escape such embarassment.
But she does love the compliments coming from Leonardo.
"Why the rush? I told you there's a lot of- oi!" MC was pulling him on the way to home of his client. His smile was so tender, and he adored the way her soft chubby fingers were wrapped tight against his wrist.
"Your client could be waiting for you Leonardo! You know yourself that a painting couldn't be finished in an hour!"
"I'm pretty sure I'm far more faster than I was in that era you've known so much, cara mia."
"Oh please, you've painted Mona Lisa for more than four years and it wasn't even done! I won't be waiting four years for you to finish up a painting, I could be starving!"
Leonardo chuckled and didn't resist at all, loving how she was pulling him and he was complying till they reached Madame del Giocondo, and she was waiting wearing her maroon dress.
"Bungiorno, Leonardo! The weather is rather perfetto for today's session isn't it?"
"Veramente. Where should we start Signora' Lisa?" They were welcomed and led into a garden, beautiful flowers around and a good spot for lighting.
MC was enjoying the sight, it was different from the mansion's garden, the flowers having more variety and butterflies were present too.
"You could invite your morosa to sit down too, Leonardo!"
MC blushed. She was surprised that she was recognized as a morosa rather than a tailing unusual sized woman after him.
"Hm, come here amore. I simply brought you here to just see me painting after all. It'll help me to be far more enthusiastic."
And she did. She sat there till dawn, watching Leonardo sketch down and paint his client, admiring every stroke of the brush and the way he mixed colors. Though the painting isn't finished yet, it is clear enough that he can finish it on his own back in the mansion.
"I'll be doing some finishing touches and deliver it to you after it is done, signora." Leonardo has already picked the materials up and cleaned, already puffing on his cigarillo.
"I suppose I should pay you now or should I wait for it to be finished?"
"Hm, I'd like the payment now signora."
"Bensí! Come, bella. I'll show you the dress I made for you. I'm sure it'll be perfect in you!"
She was shocked. She looked at Leonardo and he was smiling at her urging her to come and fit.
"A-ah b-but I'm not in size in aby of those magnificent dresses you make madame! I-i'm out of size a-and perhaps i-it won't fit me anyways.."
"Assurdo! You are such a bella! I made something perfect for you in your size! Signor Leonardo asked the dress as a payment and he said make it special and sent me your size. It is a dress only made for you!"
MC looked at Leonardo and he gave her a reassuring smile.
"A-alright. I'll fit it."
She led the way, introducing her to a magnificent maroon colored gown similar to Leonardo's coat color. It was wider for a 19th century dress for a woman but god, when she fitted it Leonardo almost lost his breath because of her incomparable beauty.
"Magnifico, cara mia. You're breath taking..truly a goddess."
"Um..t-thank you Leonardo. Thank you too Madame' del Giolcondo for such a beautiful dress. I couldn't expect myself to fit in such a beautiful work.."
"Hm, no worries! Its special for you!"
MC was ready to turn back and change clothes but Leonardo pulled her back.
"Thank you so much for these, signora. I'll be bringing the painting around next few days and as for you cara mia, let's go home. No need for you to change."
"B-but Leonardo! It will draw attention-"
"Hm? We'll fetch a carriage but actually, I don't mind showing you off in town in that gown."
And that evening after going home getting off the carriage in such gown, MC and Leonardo had shared a sweet dinner together while the other habitants of the mansion are in awe for MC's beauty.
Katie Holt didn't need to look up to see who had just entered the lab, there were only two people who had access to her lab other than herself. Considering she just ended her call with one of them.
It could only be..
"Hey Lance" she greeted, her eyes still fixed on the new vehicle designs.
He simply nodded, taking his usual seat. He sat there patiently, looking at her with thoughtful eyes.
She finally set her work aside, turning her attention towards her friend.
"So how did the date go?" she asked, leaning closer
Lance didn't know what exactly triggered the matchmaker inside her, he had a hard time remembering if she was ever that enthusiastic about his love life before.
"It was alright" he commented, trying not to imagine the disaster that was yesterday.
She nodded, "So I see loverboy Lance is back in business"
Subconsciously his hands reached for the alteans marks on his cheeks. He couldn't believe there was a time he proudly used that nickname.
He scratched the back of his neck in nervousness, "I appreciate your and Hunk's efforts in finding me a date but this isn't exactly what I had meant"
Pidge frowned at him, "Lance please don't tell me your having second thoughts about moving on. You do know it's what she would have wanted"
His eyes widened hearing the misunderstanding, "This isn't about Allura" he hurriedly confirmed.
"I have truly moved on and I know she would have wanted me to but the thing is-"
"You didn't like Ashley?" Pidge wondered.
Her attention fell divided as she started rearranging the design sheets.
"It's not exactly that either" he grumbled, his frustration growing.
Pidge snickered to herself, "Well she is your type. Would be surprising if you didn't"
"What!" he squeaked offended.
"I don't have a type!" he defended.
"Sure Lance. Whatever helps you sleep at night" she teased, standing up and walking towards her latest project
"Look at this" she marvelled.
"Don't tell me your replacing Chip" he questioned, inspecting the half built robot.
Pidge lightly punched his shoulder in response, "Of course not, Chip is like my first child" she stated earning a stern look from Lance.
"I mean second child. I haven't forgotten about Katlenecker" she corrected and he nodded in satisfaction.
"You know I am going home next week, you should come with me" he suggested.
The wide eyed look on Pidge's face gave him a quick reality check.
"To visit Katlenecker!" he quickly added, The nature of their friendship had taken a strange course over the past few months . There were times he felt sure that they were moving towards something more and then there were times like these that made him feel that they were nothing more than friends.
"I'll think about it" she replied quickly. Both of them considered it wise idea to look at the Chip's new sibling rather than each other.
"So how long have you been working on it?" he asked deciding to change the topic.
"Not very long. In fact Matt's gonna come over soon to help me with it" she said inspecting it's arm.
"Don't tell me your working during lunch"
"Its the only free time I have and we really want to finish this soon. Besides Hunk is here so it's not like you are going to be alone" she answered.
"I am more concerned about the fact that you won't be eating. It's not healthy" he chided.
"I know you'll bring something for me" she informed gleefully, lightly patting his shoulder as she made her way back to her desk.
"I also need to work on these designs before I hand them over to Stella" she muttered to herself.
Lance ears pricked hearing the familiar name, "The engineer one? Hunk tried to set me up with her" he informed, feeling mentally exhausted. His younger self would feel disappointed that he was not cherishing the attention of these beautiful ladies.
But then again, he considered his younger self an idiot. If his younger self had been smarter and you use the time he had with the former green paladin to his advantage.
He wouldn't be yearning over her right now.
Pidge momentarily paused from her notes giving him a brief look.
"I am surprised that it didn't work " Pidge commented.
"Well I am not" he replied, Observing the designs from behind her shoulder. Old habits die hard indeed
"And she isn't my type either in case your wondering" he informed.
Pidge scoffed leaning against the wall as Lance stood in front of her, his hands crossed against his chest.
"Well you could have fooled me. So what is your type?" she asked with a cheeky grin, it was a question for which she wasn't exactly looking for an answer.
Lance grinned to himself, "Would you believe me if I said. It was you"
She simply smirked, "I am afraid I don't believe you" she retorted satisfied with her come back.
She turned back to her work, awaiting for a overdramatic reply. She was caught off guard with what happened next.
Impulse had taken over the love struck man, he leaned forward erasing the distance between them. His hands slapped against either side of the wall, trapping her against it. He lowered his head, maintaining eye contact with the startled amber eyes.
"Lance?" she managed to whisper in surprise.
His intense gaze didn't waver.
"Damn it Katie! What does a guy need to do to get your attention" the desperation evident in his voice.
He took a deep breath, hesitating to say the words he had been wanting to say for so long now.
"That night when I confessed to you that I ready to move forward. I had a very specific person in mind" he stated firmly.
Pidge was aware that the color of her face was getting redder by the second but still she couldn't help but tease.
"I wonder who that person is?"
He leaned in closer, if one might daresay was possible. His lips dangerously hovered over hers but he simply just smirked in response.
"I think you have figured out by now" he answered slyly.
"Maybe I have. So will you let me go now?" she wondered, making a half hearted attempt to escape.
"Not so easily, you have no idea how long I have been trying to do this. I will only let you go when you answer my question."
"So Katie would like to give us a chance ?" he whispered softly, nervousness evident in his voice.
It was a rare occasion for she didn't have any witty reply to his question this time. The moment seemed surreal, it was like a dream that she had abandoned a longtime ago but it still existed in a small corner of her heart.
"Pidge?" Lance called, snapping her back to reality.
"Your taking an awful lot of time for someone who wanted to escape a few moments ago" he joked trying to disguise the pain in his voice by idea of a possible rejection.
His hands slightly shook as he decided to release her from the human cage but it wasn't just letting her go now that terrified him but it was thought of letting go of the idea of them being together. Pidge, subconsciously had become someone without whom he couldn't live without and the thought she might not feel the same way felt like sharp stab in the stomach.
But at the same time he was willing to accept and respect it.
"Do you really intend to keep hold me captive till I don't give an answer?" she questioned, her mischevious tone surprised him.
Pidge's face was bright pink and she tried her best to bite back a smile as she uttered her next words.
"Guess I don't have much of choice than to say yes" she shrugged casually, trying to ignore the tingles that ran through her spine.
Her heart beated wildly against her chest but Katie knew she was ready to take this leap of faith.
"You what?" he shouted in truimph, his bright blue eyes shining like the stars.
"I hope your not teasing me" he warned to which she rolled her eyes.
"Well according to Matt we have been going on dates anyway might as well make it official" she stated nonchalantly as her heart performed jumping jacks.
"Now will you let me go?" she asked teasingly.
"Not on your life" he replied, his face held the impish smile that Pidge hadn't seen in years.
Without another warning he picked her up bridal style.
"Lance! Is it the day you vowed to give me a heart attack!" she shrieked in surprise as her feet were taken of the ground.
"I have never felt this happy before " he confessed
"Never?" she asked with a hint of nervousness as she firmly held on to his arms for her dear life.
"Never" he confirmed without missing another heartbeat, he leaned closer closing his eyes and Pidge followed.
Unfortunately the moment didn't last long for the door of the lab opened revealing non other than Mathew Holt and Commander Iverson.
"I assure you Commander Iverson the designs of the ships-Katie!!" Matt screamed, scaring the daylights of the two while Commander Iverson simply shook his head.
"It was bound to happen" he uttered those wise words.
One of the finest days in Station Square. Where the gentle winds scatter fallen leaves from under the trees they once belonged in. Whriling them in circles of fun and carrying them off to view places they never got the chance to see. Sending feelings of joy and freedom to their hopefull hearts. Only to suddenly drop them off leaving the feeling to die down with only hopes of experiencing the same venture once more. Having no choice, but continue on with their boring life .
This is what our favourite sakura hedgehog was feeling.
Despite the lovely weather that she and her rabbit bestfriend would usually cherish by spending the rest of afternoon having a picnic by the trees. Instead there she sat on a wooden bench at the all too famous park located in Station square.
Her mind had, unsurprisingly, drifted off to thoughts of her blue hero. Earlier she had been chasing after the heroic blue blur, wanting nothing but to embrace him and somehow convince him to spend the day with her, but of course he had to flea away at the mere sight of her spread arms charging his way.
During the chase she had found herself loosing interest in chasing him all the way downtown as daily and decided to sit at at the park since it had been nearest to her. She didn't feel the usual determination today and had given up as soon as she started. She was just 'not in the mood'.
A long sigh escaped her lips as she inhaled the sorounding air. She missed the good old days where she and her friends would go on adventures and 'save the world'. Lately there wasn't anything new and old Eggy hadn't been that active either.
Once you experience that rush of adrenaline. You'd start wanting more. The usual life was suddenly not satasfying anymore. She had gotten used to it though, but never ceased to stop dreaming.
She wanted that excitment.
Cream had went on a three day vacation with her mother, Vanilla to a beach hotel. The kindhearted rabbit had been excited all week for this day to arrive. Her friend had offered her to come along, but she refused as kindly as possible. Now she was comming to regret that as she was extreamly bored.
Who else could she visit at this time..?
Dusting of her red dress, she got up heading towards a certain kitsune's workshop.
Up in a tree not too far away from where Amy Rose had once sat. A blue figure standing out between the healthy, greenery of the leaves watched from afar.
Two frowning emerald orbs trailed after the sakura hedgehog. Concern and confusion had been set on his face.
Earlier this mourning he had been enjoying his chillidogs. Stuffing his face nonstop, till he caught sight of his friend heading his way. Walking with a little occasional skip in her step. He watched as the pink female made her way closer. Unmoving with a chillidog halfway through his open mouth.
When she had caught sight of him, her jade eyes lit up instantly. He decided it was time to roll, but as soon as she sped up after him, her steps immediately halted. Her head looked both sides and headed another way.
That confused him greatly. It wasn't like the usual pink ball of sunshine to cut the chase so soon. So, allowing his concern for his friend to lead him, he followed her to the park where she silently sat with a faraway look in her eyes.
Sonic jumped off of the tree with grace and sped off leaving an all too familiar blue blur tracing after him with a powerful gust of wind.
A leaf fell off, twirled a bit and sofly landed on the brown pathway.
Two yellow tails wagged back and forth excitedly. Miles Prower also known as 'Tails' had been working on a special project all month.
After thirty days of nonstop hardwork he can now lay down his tools and admire his art.
Putting away the now oil stained, dirty rag that he had been using to clean the machine. He slowly untied his brown work apron and threw it into a corner.
His messiness was a trait he picked up from his blue older brother figure.
All that was left now is to test his machine. Usually sonic would be his most insistent volunteer and every scientist knows not test their invention on themselves.
With a new found objected he headed towards the front door to find his brother. Only to be greeted with the smiley rosy cheeks and bright green eyes of Amy Rose.
Amy couldn't think of any other place her little genius friend would be spending his time in other than his workshop.
She instinctively plastered on a bright smile and proceeded to open the door and welcome herself, but the door oppened right on cue at the same time by a surprised yellow fox. Clearly her visit had been unexpected.
"Oh, hey Amy. Long time no see!"
"Oh, we would've seen each other if you weren't all cooped up in that workplace of yours" She jokingly stuck out her index and placed the back of her wrists on her hips.
Giggling nervously the two tailed kitsune scratched the back of his head and smiled apologetically. "Sorry, Amy. I've been having my distractions."
Waving her palm twice, she assured him "No matter." Then her face lit up again. "So, Whats up?"
Guiding her in and shutting the door behind him, Tails explained as they headed towards the messy work area "I wanted to look for sonic so I could test my machine on him if he agreed."
"Oh?" Amy forcefully looked away from the distracting mess. Resisting the strong urge to grab a broom and sanitise the whole place. Leaving a mental note to still do that later. "What does it do?"
Big blue eyes brightened in excitment at getting to show someone his hardwork. His tails swayed excitedly as it usually did at momments like this. "I call it-" He spread his arms "- Teleporter 1 0 1!"
Amy's wide eyes and and 'o' shaped lips urged him on.
"It can teleport you to any specified area as long as its 30 kilometres away." He proudly puffed out his white fured chest towards the oval shaped machine. Then headed towards a laptop near it. "I just need to type in the location into this app I programmed." He gestured towards the laptop.
Amy, who had been slowly digesting the explanation grinned. "Can I test it out instead?"
The yellow kitsune thought about it for a bit then smiled. "I guess so."
An excited girly squeal escaped her as she skipped towards the fox whom was gesturing for her with him towards a box.
"Yes, but first put these on." Taking out a metal helmet and wrist watch, he passed them to her. "Safety first."
Staring at the helmet in distaste she frowned. The helmet would clash horribly with her dress, but she finally decided on shrugging it off and go on with it. She put it above her red headband that accessorized her quills.
"Hey, Tails? Why the watch? I already have a comunication watch from you." She blinked as she buckled it just under her gold bangle anyway.
"This ones way more advanced. A newer version. It took some time for me to make one, but I'll make more for the rest of us later. I couldn't find the time".
Nodding in understanding, she finally finished and stood inside the machine. "Alright, I'm ready!"
"Where to?" He glanced at her as he stretched his gloved knuckles infront of the keybored.
"Hmm, how about.. you surprise me!" She shrugged then brought up her fists to her chest in excitment.
"Alrighty!" and he began typing.
Slowly the machine starting whirring and a very loud noise started erupting.
Amy glanced worriedly at Tails. He too seemed confused and was frowning at the laptop. A new window oppened on the screen reading in large red words 'LOCATION; UNIDENTIFIED'.
"Thats weird.." The young genius muttered under his breath. He clicked a few bottuns when suddenly another window popped up in his screen.
"Tails? Whats wrong? Did something happen?" Amy clearly getting scared hesitantly asked her friend.
Just then a blue blur speeded into the workshop. "Hey, buddy. Whats with the noise?..." When he cought sight of the pink Sakura in the machine and the two tailed kitsune typing frantically, he frowned.
Though the yellow fox headed no mind as he was too shocked at what the screen read.
'AUTO LOCATION SET^^ LAUNCH IN 2 SECOND(s)'
"What the..?! AMY GET OUT OF THERE!" Finally realization stetteled onto his face as he spun around towards his friend.
At the same time the blue hero was already reaching towards the red dressed female.
But it was too late.
Darkness and colors flooded the pink hedgehogs sight as she disappeared before the very eyes of her friends in a blinding flash of blue light.
Well, here's the first chapter of "Gender Blender" (sonamy fanfic) enjoy ^^
“Here is the sweet paradox in how God works. He blesses those who admit that they need help: The poor in spirit are blessed (Matthew 5:3). Sanity has a deep awareness, I need help. I can’t do life right on my own. Someone outside me must intervene. The sanity of honest humility finds mercy, life, peace, and strength. By contrast, saying we don’t need help keeps us stuck on that hamster wheel of making excuses and blaming others. The end result isn’t life and peace; it’s self-righteousness, self-justification, alienation, and bitterness.”
- David A. Powlison
In keeping with the times, I’m starting this post with a David Powlison quote. While I hadn’t actually heard of this man till a sermon this morning during YF (courtesy of a mentor who shall remain anonymous), this quote had the same brick-to-the-face impact as a good’ol Paul Washer sermon.
To quote my brother in Christ Mr Yip, “any other sin can make you experience brokenness that drives you to repentance” but “pride only hardens us”.
Alright, I’ve my quota of 2 QUOTES for now. Will check in with another quote in a bit!
Okay, but to contextualize a bit, given the aggressive header for this blog post (which I promise I will get to in due time), it has been around 3 weeks since I’ve started my journey as a NSF (ie. full-time National Serviceman) on Palau Tekong. In this time, I’ve learnt many things, but for the sake of conciseness, I’ll condense it down to the following point.
1. To be responsible, one must be devoted to duty and not themselves.
This statement, which if you examine closely, actually contains the distilled intention of the SAF, of prioritizing our duty to our nation over our own selfish gain, isn’t inherently wrong. In fact, most would argue it is a noble thing to cherish the safety of your country and your loved ones over your own comfort and pleasure.
So why am I bringing this up? And what does this have to do with self-reliance being toxic?
Let me try to explain this in the best way I can.
Through the now countless hours I’ve spent rushing up and down the four flights of stairs in Smart 4/ Long 4/ Admin Kit/ PT kit, my LBS clamping my hip bone, my helmet whacking the edge of my fog-tinted spectacles, as my right hand hovers over my half-filled water canteen and I frantically check to ensure my admin bottle is filled, I have realized that one thing the SAF (and UG in general) ingrains in every soldier is the need to be responsible.
The unspoken rules of Rocky Hill School 4 Coy 1 are as follows.
Take care of yourself. Don’t be a burden to those around you. Maintain your personal bearings first.
Help those around you who need help.
The betterment of the section/ platoon/ company holds higher priority than the needs of any individual recruit. Don’t be selfish.
By the Lord’s manifold grace and infinite mercies, I have not had any major screwups that have resulted in my section or platoon having to pump as of yet. Perhaps my UG background prepared me partially for the punishments we have had to endure so far, but only by His grace have I been able to get all my tasks finished as of now.
Here’s the issue though.
With the limited admin time we are given in School 4, sometimes limited to 20 minutes every night before lights out, having to shower, do laundry, prepare for the next day’s attire, ensure all items are accounted for, set alarm and numerous other things, I have become a very task-focused creature.
In efficiently finishing tasks delegated to me, I begin to get annoyed with those around who who are unable to do what has been asked of them. When we are made to pump, I get angry at those who are slower than myself. And above all, I realize that in the rank-centric ego-heavy atmosphere of the SAF, self-reliance and one’s physical abilities largely contribute to one’s self-identity. So when, by God’s grace, I attain Gold for IPPT, I don’t give Him glory (or at least, I fail to publicly express it.) Effectively, I fail to live up to the mantle of what Christians are to live for, namely, to the praise of God’s glory.
In the quiet moments of the morning when my phone softly buzzes me awake, I no longer contemplate God’s grace and love in giving me another day of life. Instead, I plan for the day, I try and prepare as best as I can, and I do not commit any of it to God.
In the conduct-laden weeks filled with multiple high keys, I find lesser time to give thanks, and spend my days complaining, mindlessly bantering or stoning. These days, talking nonsense seems much more attractive to me than reading His word. Using my phone to read webtoons is more alluring than opening the Solid Joys app.
Again and again, I am a stubborn child who has been shown the overwhelming sweetness of the love of the Father, yet I remain content chewing on the rotten carcasses of my ego. Spending time in NS has (again), shown me more of who I really am. Under the facade I kept up,
Really, I know what the issue is. At the end of the day, it is one of personal pride. What I need more is not confidence or self-esteem. To the contrary, I need a more accurate view of my place in the Universe. I need to see myself as lesser, and the Father as more.
IF anything, I need LESSER confidence in my own worth, and GREATER confidence in the sovereign irresistible grace of the Father.
Truly, the Lord is sovereign, His will will be done. All things WILL be accomplished for His glory, and for His name to be lifted high.
And it is a marvelous, beautiful, awesome privilege that a hell-deserving, forgetful, evil wretch like myself would be claimed as a child of the thrice Holy God, redeemed by the blood of the Lamb, and sanctified daily by the powerful work of the Holy Spirit.
This isn’t simply information. This is good news, tear-jerking, mind-eviscerating news for a wretch who before, had nothing to look forward to but an eternity of suffering under the wrath of a righteous judge.
For someone who has done nothing of worth or value his entire life, it again becomes clear to me when something of value appears. And here, the infinite worth of the eternal life bought for me by the death of the Son of God himself is something I cannot hope to repay, nor is it something my feeble mind can comprehend without God’s grace.
AND so here’s the crux of the matter.
I need to again, be humbled to a point of absolute brokenness. I have to realize that, when faced with all my inadequacies, I am not simply looking at a part of myself that I have failed to ‘train’. Rather, I’m looking at a reflection of my true self.
To quote Mr Paul Washer, “On that day when He comes again, He will pluck all things, all men’s talents, all the best of the human race, and grab it with one hand and exclaim, ‘This is ALL FOR ME’”.
I have to again remember that not only is my faith, all of life, heck, even the whole universe, sustained by Sovereign grace, that all of this is for His glory alone.
ONLY through this can I be turned away from pride, idolatry, and anything that does not point to the blazing heart of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I must become less, so that He may be made much of.
Brothers and Sisters in Christ, please keep me in your prayers. Even as I have anxiety for the 2 weeks of Field Camp coming up next week, I am even more worried that as I return to BMTC tomorrow, I again spiral into the toxicity of self-reliance. That I am foolish enough to consider myself of more worth and more grit than those around me, just because God has graciously bestowed me with experiences that are meant to be used for HIS glory.
I pray that in the coming 2 weeks, as more grace may be shown to me by the Lord, that I may in turn be more gracious to those around me. That I may be less selfish with my time. That I may prize others above myself, but that I may prize Christ as even more valuable than precious gold, or anything else in this life. That I may watch my tongue, that it will not slander with falsehood or callous word, that everything I say and do may point to the Holy, Righteous, Merciful, Loving, eternal Lord I worship.
To end, I want to share a short conversation I had with Peter Goh over whatsapp today. To summarize, we both agreed that we were “spiritually despondent”. But that’s an issue right? How can my response to a question “How r you“ be “pretty okay” when I’m feeling “spiritually dry” if “life without Christ is no life at all and life with him is everything” ?
I’m worried. I fear my heart if calloused and blind to my own sin, that I no longer fear the Lord. I fear I no longer treasure His eternal promises and worth above the world. But in equal measure, I will cherish His promises in His word.
Brothers and Sisters, even as I stake my claim not in my own inadequacy, but I take greater confidence in the Father’s ability to turn a wretch like me (again!) toward Him and transform my heart of stone into one of flesh, keep me in prayer. Over these two weeks, I pray I may glorify Him by His supplication alone. Praise the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Truly, all to Him I freely give, for the all surpassing worth of the Lord Jesus Christ. I pray I can start the short book Pastor Razo gave me ‘The practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence” and Greg’s 60-day “Daily reading devotionals” as well, such that when I have my passing out parade, I may take greater confidence in His mercy, grace and love.
“It was wonderful love that Christ should rather die for us than for the angels that fell. They were creatures of a more noble extract, and in all probability might have brought greater revenues of glory to God; yet that Christ should pass by those golden vessels, and make us clods of earth into stars of glory - Oh, the hyperbole of Christ's love!”
- Thomas Watson
“The more bitterness we taste in sin, the more sweetness we shall taste in Christ.”
- Thomas Watson
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
Not to us, Lord, not to us,
But to Your name give glory,
Because of Your mercy, because of Your truth.
Praise God, for He is worthy of all praise and worship, and all things.
Description: What better time to live and discover than now?
The most confusing yet thrilling time of your lives. It's that time where you're neither here nor there. You're too big for the children clothes but too small for the adult ones. It's the time when you try to do adult things and get away with it. It's that time where everyone starts to ask you what you want to be in future, what are your plans for marriage and university when you can't even decide what you want to eat for breakfast. It's the time when you resent the world for the littlest of troubles, feeling like it owns you something.
And to Jae: what better time than now to live life to the fullest even with all this hatred against the world?
So this is how you ended up in the passenger seat in Jae's truck, embarking on a road trip to God-knows-where.
"ARE YOU READY FOR IT Y/N?"
"As ready as I'll ever be."
"Let's get it!"
Jae then raved the engine before taking off towards the highway at high-speed
On the way to the highway, the music from the pubs and clubs surrounding the both of you competed with the music coming from Jae's stereo, his head bobbing wildly to the beat. You couldn't stop the infectious fun from affecting you too, and you bobbed your head to the music as well, although less violently than Jae. When the light turned green, Jae sped off and the orange tunnel was 500 metres away. Anticipation built inside of you as both of you approached the tunnel; you especially loved the part when you whoosed into the tunnel, and in that instant everything hollowed out around you. That moment came as soon as you thought of it, and you let of a howl of joy when it happened.
Over the roar of the tunnel, Jae yelled something out.
"I said get up!"
He then tapped the glass hatch above both of you before sliding it open. You finally understood what he meant but you were a little afraid to stand out on top. What if you got blown off the truck? Jae clearly saw your hesitation and placing his hand on the small of the back, he pushed upwards and when the first blast of air hit your face, it felt like you were born again. It was scary at first, but slowly, as you got used to the cold air whipping at your face, you spread your arms out like wings and let out a yelp of joy, feeling the pure excitement vibrating deep within your bones.
Life’s a little like that isn’t it? Everything is a little scary at first, but once you learn how to enjoy it, it becomes the best ride of your lives.
Jae then pulled up outside a 24 hour pizza joint and quickly ordered smoothies and pepperoni pizza for the both of you.
“How was the ride just now?”
“Absolutely thrilling, though I thought I was about to die.”
“Relax girl! You’re fine now!” Jae then shot you a wink, to which your response was rolled eyes. When the food came, both of you tucked in heartily and Jae was literally stuffing his face full with pepperoni and chocolate milkshake. You laughed at the sight – Jae looked like a literal hamster now. All was good until Jae decided to steal your cheese fries from under your nose – and no one ever stole your babies.
“JAE!” Without hesitation, you launched a pepperoni across the table, landing squarely on his glasses. Jae shot you a look from beneath his glasses and in a slow, low tone, he announced:
“This means war Y/N.”
And so he did. For the next few minutes, both of you had a food fight, throwing fries, pizza and sauces, despite the disapproving looks from the few lone customers in the place. You swore you saw someone taking a photo of the both of you, that is probably going onto some gossip site with the headline “PESKY TEENAGERS” but honestly both of you could care less. Both of you were in a fit of giggles, too focused on getting the other to admit defeat. Finally, Jae raised the white tissue and you sat there with a smug smile on your face, basking in the glory of your small victory.
Such was life – you have every right to celebrate the victories no matter how small, even the nonsensical, crazy ones.
Once both of you had managed to calm down from the food fight, Jae had magically materialised some mixtapes and was like an eager puppy for you to hear them.
“Quick, quick put them in!”
“Alright Jae I’m getting there!”
Nodding at him once the headphones were slotted comfortably around your ears, he punched the play button and listened to Jae’s honey voice float out from the little mp3 player he had. As always, Jae had you floored. He sang effortlessly about the stage and music, asking the crowds to never forget him even years down the road.
“Don’t ever forget me,
Cherish me so that you can feel me,
So that I can be forever.”
To someone that didn’t know Jae, he might seem like a self-obsessed man that simply wants the fame and undying attention that comes from adoring fans.
But you knew better. You knew what Jae was really trying to say. He was asking the crowd to enjoy the music together, a silent promise that he will stay with them forever, and continue to repay them with good music each day.
To understand someone, you simply have to find the language they speak and understand that.
“That was breathtakingly beautiful Jae, your fans would be happy to have you.”
“Where to next Jae?”
“It’s a secret.”
“Oh come on! You know I can’t stand the suspense!”
“Nope. Not telling. Just sit back and relax, I promise fun and non-stop cuteness.”
“Wait did you just say cuteness?”
“You bet a million dollars I just did.”
You spent the whole ride coming up for theories and launching them at Jae, your never-ending endeavour in hopes of getting him to reveal the answer. Jae simply smiled in disbelief at your perseverance, but his lips were kept firmly shut. (though not in a literal sense)
“Ok we’re here now.”
“A dark alley? What are you trying to do, get away with murdering your best friend?”
“Geez no! Just step out and you’ll see what I mean.”
Leaving his headlights on, he stepped out and you decided to follow, afraid of being left alone in the dark. The moment you got out, you were asaualted by kittens. Heaps and heaps and heaps of kitten. Kitten of all shapes and fur coats lined the entire alley and you had to clap your hands over your mouth to prevent your squealing from reaching the rest of the sleeping neighbourhood. In hushed tone, you screamed to Jae.
“THIS IS GREAT OH MY GOSH I LOVE YOU THANK YOUUU!” You nearly pushed Jae off his feet when you jumped into his arms to give him a bone-crushing hug. When you bolted off to play with the kittens, Jae was left dumbfounded, his heart thumping wildly in his chest, his cheeks bright red. You however, were too engrossed with playing with the kittens that you failed to notice the boy’s bright cheeks.
For the next hour, Jae became your personal photographer, capturing photos and candids of you as you befriended as many kittens as you could, the graffiti filled walls serving as a nice backdrop. You even asked to take photos with the occasional dog that strayed past and Jae loved watching as happiness radiated off your face.
After all, people capture shots of those they fear losing the most.
“Are we finally getting a break now?”
“You can say so… though not quite what I had in mind.”
You raised your brows at the paradox – how can something be yet not be?
You found yourself standing atop of a hill with a big willow tree right in the middle. Clear stars shine overhead, the night blue skies making them seem even brighter.
“May I have this dance?”
“Hmm?” Turning to face Jae, you found his hand extended towards you as slow jazz music played from his CD player. Placing your hands gently in his, you let Jae draw you into his arms as he swayed the both of you gently to the beat.
“This feels like some scene from a Disney movie.”
“It does. Except that I’m no princess.”
“We can be the prince and princess just for tonight.”
Jae was an absolute gentlemen, although he doesn’t look the part in his oversized jeans and sweater and battered sneakers. That night both of you danced till your legs ached, the echoes of your laughter rolling down the hill as Jae soaked up every bit of it. He wished he could store your laughter forever; such a pure sound warming up his heart.
It’s these simple little things that make life worth living for.
After that little dancing session, Jae promised some rest and drove both of you down to the beach where both of you sat at the back of his truck.
“Tadah~!” Jae whipped out a carton of beer and held them up high, looking at a proud kid that had just shown his mother his first drawing in school. However, you were unimpressed.
“Really Jae, beer at 5am in the morning?”
“Treat it as an early morning breakfast.”
“This is hardly nutritious.”
“No matter, cheers!”
Despite your initial disapproval, you clinked your can against his, sipping on the bitter but later on sweet beverage.
“You’ve got a beer moustache haha.”
Swapping the pad of his thumb across your upper lip, Jae got rid of it, leaving you wide-eyed in the aftermath of it. Sure, he was your best friend, but he had never dared do this sort of things with you. Why the sudden change of heart? You continued to stare at Jae as he plucked the strings to Maroon 5 “Sunday Morning”, his velvet voice warming up your heart. After a few more sips of the beer, the alcohol buzzing in you happily, you shouted out the lyrics as Jae strummed his guitar next to you. You didn’t care if you woke up the whole world – you just did as you wished, taking another chug of your beer.
Sometimes, you just got to forget the rules and live life a little on the wild side.
Tired from the impromptu singing session, you lay your head on Jae’s shoulder, listening to his steady breathing and the gentle waves lapping against the shore. Slowly, the sun rises from the horizon and both of you watch in awe as the golden lights spreads over the landscape, gently waking up the world. That’s what you love so much about the sunrise – they teach you that each day is a new beginning, a new day to make a new change in your life. However you like, whenever you like it.
And it seems like Jae was thinking the same thing.
You looked up and found Jae looking at your lips with an unreadable expression on his face.
“I’m…” He swallowed thickly, and you dared him to kiss you with your eyes.
“I’m going to do something really reckless Y/N forgive me.”
Placing a hand on your cheek, Jae locked lips with you, staying still then moving them slowly, taking his time. You felt it all at once, the thrill of this all. Here was young, reckless Jae kissing you senseless and you let yourself be carried by him, doing your best to remember all these experiences forever. After all, isn’t this what youth is all about?
It's that time when you try to figure who you want to be in this confusing world when everyone tells you what you should be.
Thanks for the questions (I know you said in a different message to ignore 49 and 53 but they’re really fun questions so I’m doing them oops)
4) Does anyone have a crush on your character? Is your character aware of this?A lot of people get crushes on Alexei, especially when he reaches his 20th year. He’s an alright looking kid but he’s just got one of those faces that doesn’t get “handsome” till he matures. And then there’s definitely some giggles from a few of the ladies at court when he enters a room, but he’s not really aware of them. Zelda will sometimes joke that he’s got lots of admirers, he just brushes her off mostly.
13) What would your character die for? His family. Without a doubt. He doesn’t have to think twice about it, if his family is in danger he’ll want to be on the front line risking everything to make sure they are safe. (He’s particularly protective over Julius and Nutty) 49) How does your character stand politically? He’s not really political until he starts to work in the army and he starts talking to his fellow soldiers. He then realizes that there’s a lot that not’s perfect in Hyrule (and honestly what country is perfect?) but he starts campaigning for better pay for some of the soldiers, more leave time for those who’s families don’t live in Castle Town, Maternal and Paternal leave for soldiers who are starting a family, that kind of stuff. 53) What clubs would your character join? If he went to my school growing up he’d have been that one kid who was great at sports and who all the teachers liked, so any club he’d join would reflect that. We didn’t have a fencing club at my school but that’s something that he would find interesting I feel.
60) If you could title your character’s life, what would you title it? You know I’m not great with titles (”Paint me like one of your Zora girls” is the best example of that) But I’m guessing… if it were a novel or a play it might be.. Idk “The wolf and the sword” relating to his relationship with his father and his talent with the blade.
Rest of the cubs under the cut
4) Does anyone have a crush on your character? Is your character aware of this? It’s actually another OC Pierre, Shad and Ashei’s son, grew up really close with Tina and Alexei (he’s the closest in age to both of them, only being a year younger than Alexei and an year older than Augustine) He’s not sure but at some point, probably around the time he reached 17, he started seeing Augustine as more than a friend and then everything got quite awkward because didn’t want to proclaim his feelings for her and end up getting rejected and ruining their friendship. So for the longest time he just sat and had a crush on her in silence. Did Augustine know? No. He hid his feelings that well, and she’s that blind to people being attracted to her, that she just thought he was coming down with a chest cold or something.
13) What would your character die for? She’s the same as Alexei. She would die for her family. Except while Alexei is protective of Julius and Nutty, She is very protective of him. Her big brother. 49) How does your character stand politically? She’s trained to take the throne so she’s been taught to be impartial and to work only with the facts presented to her (obviously a lot of facts never reach royal ears, despite how long they are, and no action is taken) She’s like her mother in the way that everything she does is for Hyrule. Zelda takes the stand that she was placed on the throne to protect her people, and if they are unhappy then it’s her fault and if they want her gone they are within their rights to do so. It’s a privilege not a right. And she’s passed that philosophy onto Augustine.53) What clubs would your character join? ALL OF THE DANCE CLUBS! Mostly things like Ballet and Ballroom dance (waltz in particular) but she wouldn’t be averse to joining the tap club. Heck she might even join Zumba if she was in my school.
60) If you could title your character’s life, what would you title it? Now this one was actually easy! “Silver slippers, silver tongue” as it represents her political powers and her love of dance
4) Does anyone have a crush on your character? Is your character aware of this? Marta is actually the most “beautiful” of the cubs (not that she believes it) so when she reaches marrying age they find that she gets a lot of suitors asking for her hand despite maybe only having met her at a few parties. She’s aware of people’s “affections” towards her but only because they don’t tend to hide them. She’s not a big fan of big romantic gestures from men, and for the longest time she fully believes that she just doesn’t like romantic gestures… until one of the ladies gives her a rose and she just about dies on the spot.
13) What would your character die for? Family again but aside from that her animals. She counts them as part of the family (she’s the only cub that Epona will let touch her for an extended period of time, putting her in a very unique club that only has Link and Ilia as members) When she raises her first colt at 10 with her father she realized that this was “where the Goddesses have put me, this is my job” 49) How does your character stand politically? Augustine looks after the people of Hyrule, Marta looks after the animals. She’s a huge advocate for animal rights and is very VERY outspoken about it. She works hard to make sure that all animals are looked after and are cared for properly. But don’t get the wrong idea, she’s not like PETA, she doesn’t spread dumb rumors like “Sheep die from being sheared” “People milk cows till they bleed” “They tear babies away from their mothers to sell them” You’ve got to remember that her father was a Goatherd for the first half of his life, she’s seen how ranches work first hand and the care that the animals are given. She just wants to do more to help.53) What clubs would your character join? Is there such thing as a gardening club? Well if there was she would be the president of that club! They have a little herb garden in Ordon and it’s always her favourite place to be when they visit family down there.
60) If you could title your character’s life, what would you title it? Marta in the middle I’m kidding. This one is tricky one hm… “Roses and Violets” as Roses are her favourite flowers and I’ll let you research Violets.
4) Does anyone have a crush on your character? Is your character aware of this? It takes a while for him to really grow into his features, he looks more like Zelda so people tend to say he’s very “beautiful” and that’s attractive to some and not as important to others. He is quite unconcerned if people find him attractive or not, sometimes he receives the odd “love letter” from a member of court but he never really ruminates on them for long. He’s got more important things to worry over in his eyes.
13) What would your character die for? Marta. Out of everyone in the family he’s closest to her. Don’t get me wrong he loves his family with all his heart, but she’s the one he would die for. She raised his horse, she takes him out shooting, she reads to him when he’s having weak days, she teaches him how to sew. They also the closest in age, being just over a year apart. 49) How does your character stand politically? He’s very much like Augustine in the idea that his main concern should be Hyrule as a whole, however he is very passionate about healthcare and what could be done to improve it. He’s talked to Alexei a lot about creating a program that entitles the soldiers and their families to free healthcare, and he’s even broached the topic with Augustine. He feels that he’s lucky to get the support he has from Royal doctors and medics, but he wishes that the people would be able to get the same level of care as he does. 53) What clubs would your character join? Archery and riding. It’s his favourite things to do because a lot of the time they don’t require anyone else. He needs help getting into his saddle some days but once he’s up there he’s free. And that freedom and independence is something that he really cherishes
60) If you could title your character’s life, what would you title it? “One step at a time” It’s his personal mantra to himself everyday, to keep going to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
4) Does anyone have a crush on your character? Is your character aware of this? She’s quite similar to Julius in that she feels like there’s more important things in her life than finding romance. She’s had a few people develop “crushes” on her in the way that you develop a crush on a celebrity.
13) What would your character die for? Her parents. As the youngest she’s not under the same kind of pressure as Augustine or Alexei so she tends to notice a little more. She see’s the kind of work that Zelda and Link do and how they struggle with the difficult decisions that they have to make. It’s not easy running a country, it’s not easy running an Army, and it’s not easy trying to do both of those things with 5 children. You can’t solve every problem and Natalya see’s how that weighs on her mothers heart. She’d do anything for her and Link. 49) How does your character stand politically? She’s the most apolitical of the bunch. Obviously if there is an issue she can see she’ll want to do something to help, but it’s not on the forefront of her mind. Her biggest concern is trying to make sure her older siblings and her parents don’t die of stress! 53) What clubs would your character join? Music clubs. Music is her main passion in life, having started learning different instruments from a very young age. She prides herself on being able to write and play songs and it’s one of the ways she bonds with Augustine. To her it’s more than just making pretty sounds, it’s a way to help the ones she loves relax and feel happy. She wrote a lullaby for Link and will play it to him sometimes when he’s had a very, very, long day.
60) If you could title your character’s life, what would you title it? “The Little Songbird” for a lot of obvious reasons but the main one being that it’s one of Link’s nicknames for her.
All was quiet. Archibald was presumably asleep, and Neil was just finishing his lever system. THIS should work. It had been a few days now, since his capture. Every day was spent trying to escape. When he wasn’t doing that, Neil was sitting through strange lessons.
Archibald would sit him down, and have him identify different creatures out of a book. Their strengths, weaknesses, ecology, biology, everything. Rather, he’d repeat what Archibald told him they were. Most of those lessons were Archibald sitting and reading out loud to him. As Neil couldn’t read or write on his own. Most of the time he just spent looking at the pictures.
Neil began pulling hard on the lever. The glass from his cage began to slide open, allowing him the ability to slip outside. The fall spell came in handy here, as he stepped off the edge of the floor into the abyss. Landing again on his rear. “Owww. Fucking giant.”
As it turned out, the landing was pretty much a result of the spell. No matter what, if falling from a great height, Neil would land on his ass. Unless it was a dire matter. Archibald made no excuse for this, admitting fully that he’d thought it was adorable.
“Anyway. It shouldn’t hurt too much. In comparison. You still have incentive NOT to fall from high places.”
“Ass hole.” He grumbled, trying to make his way for the first air vent he could feasibly reach.
“You rang?” Neil flinched, head swivelling every which way. Eyes darting in opposite directions, where was the fucker? “Is that healthy?”
Neil groaned, holding his hands up in surrender. He couldn’t out run the giant. Couldn’t avoid capture. At this point, it was just easier to give up and try again later. From the shadows, a hand descended upon him, lifting him carefully.
“Flops. You have to work a little harder. What if it were a manticore instead of me?” He was transferred to an open palm.
“I wouldn’t have seen it anyway. They attack from behind in order to get a fatal bite and snap the spinal cord.” He grumbled automatically. Archibald nodded once then sat down with Neil at the table.
“Well, at least you’re learning.”
“What’s this all about anyhow? You keep telling me you’ll release me. That it’ll be fine. That you’re helping me. But how does any of THIS help me?” Neil attempted to squirm free now, trying to reach the table top.
Archibald was silent, taking hold of Neils hands with some difficulty and lifting him. The man yelped and began to pick up his struggles. The titan just stared for a moment, no emotion behind his gaze. In the dim light of the room, all one could really make out were those golden eyes.
“HEY! Hey come on! This isn’t comfortable you know!?” Neil twisted at odd angles, trying to wriggle free. Archibalds free hand rose in front of him, and pinched lightly at his middle. He was then set back on the table.
“Well... First off. You’ve picked up some weight. That should help. Second, you should know enough by now, to avoid being eaten by something bigger than you.” The giant slowly placed a glass over Neil. Standing once more and turning to the cupboards.
Eventually he set a small pile of kibble down on a napkin, sitting in front of Neil and releasing him. “I don’t expect you to take much longer. I think we’ll change up your studies tomorrow.”
“Joy...” Neil snatched up one of the dry flakes, and grimaced. He could hear the small snicker from the giant as he took a begrudging nibble.
“Gods. I think next time I’ll invest in cookware and ingredients.” Neil spat a bit, glaring at the giant.
“NEXT TIME?!” He stood up waving the kibble at Archibald. “There won’t be a next time!”
Archibald leaned back, folding his arms. A brow quirked upwards. “Oh~ There will. You will see me again, after I release you. And a few more times after that. I’m not going to put so much work into this, then let you go and die.” He reached for Neil once more, and the man tried to bolt.
He didn’t get far, as Archibalds finger bowled him over, lightly rubbing from his head to his back. Affirming who was in charge.
“Any how. I’m tired. You’re probably tired. I think we should sleep.” Neil was scooped into a loose hand and returned to his cage. This time the glass was sealed in with stone facets. Neil would not be removing them easily.
Giving the glass a few good kicks, before storming off, Neil gave no thought to the change in his ‘studies’. No point in worrying. He couldn’t change anything. His sword was taken day one. Giving him no form of retaliation.
Best way to pass his free time was to attempt escape. Even though he was constantly told he’d be freed. He didn’t truly believe Archibald. Especially now.
The next morning he woke to a clattering by his blanket nest. Startling him from his sleep. He pressed against the wall, grimacing. Slowly eyeing the surprise wake up call. There, glinting in the soft light of the cave, was a sword. A new sword.
Sturdy, with a fresh leather bound handle. The hilt had small etchings in it. Overall however, it was visually unimpressive. Nothing like the sleek, gilded blades the elves used. Nothing like the knights, had in the picture books Neil so cherished as a child.
The only thing that stood out, was the surface of the blade itself. It shimmered with an odd, sun spun sort of glow. Just flickering in and out of existence once in a while. Almost like Archibalds constant glare. “Well?”
Neil jolted once more, staring wide eyed at the giant gazing down at him. Neil just stared back, bewildered. “Well, pick it up. The sooner you learn to handle that thing. The sooner you get what you want.”
“You’re trusting me with this?” Neils hand hovered over the hilt, trying his best to make out signs of a trap.
“Yes. You notice that shimmer?” Neil nodded. “Good. That’s a bit of magic woven into the blade. It won’t cut anything that hasn’t earned it...Barring survival needs.”
“Again. YOU’RE trusting me with this?” He folded his arms, glaring at the giant.
“Just take the damn sword. Or I swear, I’ll stick you in a pink sweater and adopt you off to a girls club.” Archibald stormed off, dragging back another box. This time not kibble for once, but a sort of cornbread.
The threat meant very little. Neil doubted Archibald would actually carry through. Lifting the blade, Neil stumbled, grunting a bit. “What did you stuff an entire mine in here!?” He spat.
“You’ll grow stronger.” Archibald spoke dryly.
“Can’t survive if I can’t even swing the damn thing.” Neil hauled the heavy blade up. It came squarely to his shoulders, requiring two hands to wield. A scabbard was tossed in as well, but went unused so far. He pulled this up as well, sliding the blade into it with little grace.
“Okay. Well... Thank you for this.” He spoke with little enthusiasm, however, the blade was useful. It was a nice gesture. Neil made his way over to the feeding dish with a grimace. He HAD picked up weight and he intended to keep doing so until his release.
A funny little squawk escaped him, however, as Archibald plucked him from the enclosure. “My gods, you CAN show gratitude. However, you’re going to be learning how to use that thing for the next few days.”
Neil flailed and hissed his distaste. “FINE! Alright. Let me at least have breakfast first.”
“Not yet. You’ll get sick.” Archibald deposited Neil on a freshly made table. Tall pillars of stone poked from it’s surface.
“Fine. But out there, I won’t be able to wait ‘till an hour after din-din to defend myself. You know that, right?” Neil waved a hand in the general direction of the doorway.
Archibald leaned back on his heals, pondering. “That’s a fair point. Yes, I believe you’re right.” Neils shoulders dropped and he let himself have a small smile of appreciation. The bastard admitted a flaw. “However. For right now, you’re growing into your sword. I’d rather we be as safe as possible in this case.” The giants hand waved over the table, several stone statues rose, looking like a crude depiction of elves. And... The faces were off.
They had the right shape, but the features were comically disproportionate. Some of the stone elves even had humorous expressions. It was probably meant to be a war face, but to Neil, it was the ‘I just heard a funny joke’ face.
Neil covered his mouth trying not to laugh. Before remembering who he was with and letting lose. “You can make anything you want out of stone! HOW did you mess up a face that badly? Are you TRYING to make me laugh?!”
The titan huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Magic is a creative expression...I just don’t do faces well. Or ANYTHING kind of humanoid shaped.” He folded his arms grumbling.
The rest of the morning was spent with Archibald attempting to instruct Neil on swordsmanship and failing. The size difference proving a bit too much for him to effectively work with Neil. As well as the wary man attempting at any chance to plunge that blade into Archibald.
To both of their surprise, the blade cut him once. Though every other time, it did not. “Chalk it up to I earned one?” Archibald mumbled quizzically.
“Yeah. For kidnapping me.” Neil attempted to wave the blade one handed at Archbiald. His arms felt like jelly, unable to lift the blade much longer. Even still he attempted to work through, only to find himself even more exhausted. Finally, Archibald threw his hands up after another misunderstood direction.
“Okay! You know what? I’m finding you a better teacher for this!” Neil was snatched up, and hauled back to to his cage. Placed in front of the food dish. “Eat. Studies are later.”
“Do you even have a job?” Neil turned away from the meal. Opting to spite Archibald and drink instead.
“Yes actually. I’m a sorcerer.” The giant threw a dismissive hand in the air, though his tone was quite annoyed.
“That’s a job?” Neil snickered, finally getting Archibalds goat.
“Yes. I’m in charge of literally creating new spells. This would be easier with a familiar however.” The giant tapped his foot idly looking over a few books.
Neil leaned back laughing. “A fucking Brew-chew?”
“Ugh. No slurs please.” Brew-Chew was a term used regarding Familiars. Particularly intelligent familiars. As the idea that people would willingly be used for magical spells and rituals was appalling to some folk. The term derived from one Familiars description of a brew his master had him test.
And Neil was NOT shy about using this term. He just laughed to this. “What? Ooooh where you planning on getting a cat or something? At your size?”
“Oh? Did you want the job Flopsy?” Archibald hissed. Neil quieted down after that. Dipping his head back under the water tap. “At least use a glass.”
The man casually strode over and began eating. Ignoring Archibald.
The day continued. Studies were much the same. Name the species. Look at the pretty pictures. And describe weaknesses and appropriate reactions. Though he grew more and more frustrated by the hour. Snapping his answers and sighing often. “Alright. What’s wrong?”
“Same as always. I’m your damn prisoner.” Neil tossed his hands up.
“Yes, well. Once we finish with your sword training, you’re free.” Archibald sighed. “Now, About Gordylie.”
“Okay, HOW do you get those sounds out of those scribbles eh?” Neil wailed. Archibald seamed to pause, glancing down at the man. Before flattening the book on the table, and lifting Neil. Placing him on the paper.
“Do you want to learn?” He folded his arms, getting on level with the man. “How to read I mean.”
Neil locked up. Licking his lips. “I...Well.” He shuffled. It WAS a life long dream. And books were meant to pass down useful information. Maybe one day he could write his own book. Pass on what he’s learned and help people stay alive longer.
“You aren’t going to keep me longer or anything are you?” Neil gave a wary look.
“No. It would actually get you out faster if you did more studying on your own.” Archibald gave a short nod.
“And... You’ll teach me how to write, as well as read?”
“They generally come hand in hand. Yes.” The giant nodded.
“Okay...Okay yes. I would like to learn how to read.” He took an unsteady breath. And the giant smiled brightly.
They worked late into the night. Neil grew frustrated a few times, with his progress going a bit slower than he felt it should. Sometimes he outright lamented it. Oddly enough, Archibald was patient, and encouraging.
“Nothing can be learned in a few hours. It takes time. And patience. But look! You’ve already got a few small sentences down.” He pointed to the scribbles on the paper. To Neil, it was chicken scratch. Nothing like the letters Archibald had printed out for him.
But the change in the giants demeanour was... refreshing. Neil sat up eyeing the giants smile. “You... Like teaching people. Don’t you?”
The man nodded. “It’s fun to watch thing fall into place for them. To see that sense of accomplishment. It’s why I like non magical beings so much. They live shorter lives, but they never stop learning. They find everything new amazing. Us magical beings just kind of, live so long nothing impresses us any more.”
Neil paused. Looking over the paper he’d written on. “Looks like a few things still impress you.” With that, he continued writing. Trying to form some of the more complicated words onto the paper.
The next day. Neil awoke to a tapping on the foot. He grumbled turning away. “What ever it is, it can wait.” He huffed.
“Nope. It can’t. Get up lad.” The voice was unfamiliar. Neil sat bolt upright eyes wide. Before him, standing hardly to his torso while upright, was another gentleman. Hairy with a beard that was braided six times over and pleated back into his hair at some points.
Oddly, his hair was sort of layered in colour much like a grey wolf’s would be. “You’re goin’ to be calling me Sir, or Foreman. And I’m here to learn ya’ swordsmanship!”
“...Archibald gave up?”
“Archibald gave up.”
Under Hectors tutelage, Neil started to grasp the idea of the sword just a bit better. As apposed to the stone figures, he was fighting some kind of mechanical opponent. It spun at odd sections, jerked forward and back. Always changing up its movements.
“Remember Flops. That sword is meant for stabbing. Not slashing.” Hector chuckled, watching as Neil was slammed onto his backside.
“How’s that going to help me!?” He flailed back onto his feet. Swinging the blade again.
“Well for one, you’re still slashing. STAB lad. STAB! Go for a weak spot!” Neil bounced on his feet, finding the joint in his mechanized opponent. Right in the middle. With one strong thrust He lurched for the core and~
One of the machines arms spun at the same time he attacked. The gears unrelenting as the solid rod slammed into Neils arm. He could hear a snapping sound, followed by a hot pain coming up his arm. The man fell to the ground screaming.
“FUCK FUCK! My arm! My damn arm!” He gripped the limp limb close, pulling himself away. Hector barked a command that stopped the mechanical menace before trotting over on his short legs.
“Alright lad. Alright. Let me take a look.” He reached forward only for Neil to cringe back, hiding his face.
“No. Nono. Please just leave- Just make it quick.” He shut his eyes, dreading the next few moments. To have a limb broken, or lost. To be injured like this, in mankinds nomadic lifestyle, it was a death sentence.
“You’re over reacting lad. It’s okay.” Hector turned him over, with a surprising amount of strength. Neil opened his eyes, feeling his arm go ridged. The pain faded. Looking down at the injured limb, he found a minty green light spreading over it’s surface. It started at some form of bracelet he didn't’ remember putting on. Ever.
Hector just laughed. “Archibald is a smart old bugger. Gave me a few healing charms. Just in case.”
“...How do you know him?” Neil complied as the dwarf positioned his arm so it would heal correctly. Sitting still.
Hector just smiled kindly. “My people have known both he and Bear since the war. Archibald is funny, as earth giants go. Doesn’t like much contact around his stones.”
“The outcrops on his shoulders. Don’t be crass.” Hector corrected. “Dwarves and Earth giants go way back. At first, we used to be enemies. Then, we found we could help one another. Most Earth giants like having a dwarf or two around. Kind of like a shaving kit.”
Once the arm was finished healing, Hector manipulated it. Making sure it healed properly and had a full range of motion. “We use the stone to enchant items, being non magical ourselves. And the giants get the weight off their backs. Shoulders. Ya’ name it. Arch though... He doesn’t like it. Sure. He comes in for a trim now and then. But doesn’t like being fawned over.”
“...So, Dwarves and giants have a symbiotic relationship?” Neil tilted his head. “But Archibald doesn’t like it. Any reason you can think of?”
“Aye. The fuckin’ elves attacked him and tried to use him as a living mine. Now he doesn’t trust anything small around his wrists or-...Symbiotic? First time I’ve heard a human use THAT.”
“Blame Archibald. Those classes of his are working.” Neil grumbled. “Any reason why he’s doing this?”
“Eh. He agrees with ya’ to some extent. You people have it rough. The fact you asked me to kill you after your arm broke is a good example. We won’t speak a word of this to Arch though. Okay?” Hector smiled, pulling Neil back to his feet.
“Because I got injured on your watch?” Neil smirked.
“Because if he knew how you reacted, he’ll want to protect you. If giants knew things were that bad for your people. There will be a mass round up. You don’t seam to want that.” Hector smiled sympathetically.
“No one’s let slip before?” Before Neil got his answer, the cave opened. Archibald strode through, another earth giant by his side. This one had some form of gauntlet over his arm. Fixed with clockwork and gadgets. They dropped their ‘groceries’ on the table. Archibald giving a wave to the two smaller folk before leaving the room. The other giant approached.
“Ready to go, big brother?” He held his hand down, and Hector climbed right up.
“Yup. Now lad, remember. STABBING blade. Not slashing.”
I have my own struggles, some old and some new. I tend to keep them close to my chest so to speak, mostly for the sake of others. Days like today tend to allow my thoughts to catch up after the end of a busy work week. On days like this I often find myself lost in introspection, more often than not, asking myself if I'm happy. To which I usually draw a quick conclusion that I'm not unhappy, but not happy either. In all honesty, I don't have much to complain about. I make enough to pay my bills, buy food when I need it, put gas in my car, I live in a decent area, work an alright job and buy a small thing or two every once in a while. So why am I not happy?
I would say that I feel lost most days. I graduated almost a year ago excited and edger to break into the industry and yet when searching for job postings the opportunities are rare and qualifications somewhat daunting. So I'm unable to move forward, what now? I attempt to work on my own projects in an attempt to retain what I learned but this often turns to fumbled attempts and frustrated sighs. At this point i’m left in a which way is up state of mind.
I'm also not particularly social. I have a number of people I consider my friends but truth be told I can't say I particularly go out of my way to talk with them or hang out with them. Can't say why for sure. I often find myself out in public and on the rare occasion when a stranger decides to strike up a conversation or comment on the shirt I have on. I'll address them accordingly on the outside but my internal monologue is that of a stuck up prick wondering why the fuck this person is trying to talk to me, I’m not even sure why. When I do spend time with my friends it's always good company and cherish it. I put myself out on social media but never consistently the urge comes and goes, hell I even live stream twenty hours a week. I push myself onto these mediums because I dislike that I'm not sociable hoping to change. I'm not particularly good at it either but I force myself to continue in an attempt to feel like I'm accomplishing something, that I'm actually moving forward.
I can be pretty damn lazy sometimes, I hate it. Since I left the military I’ve gained weight and gotten even more out of shape. Sure I was in better shape while I was in but I was never really in shape. I’ve lost a lot of drive to stay in shape. I often wake up in the middle of the night or in the morning in pain due to gaining a little gut. As much as I dislike how out of shape I’ve become, I attempted to motivate myself many times before but it always falters out after a day. Sure I dislike how I look and feel but at times I clearly don’t think I care enough to do anything about it.
My family life, if you can call it that, has been in shambles for years, I think the last time I spoke with those who I would consider my immediate family in a single sitting was back in high school, I was probably about 15 or 16. A lot has happened since then. I rarely speak with with any of them. A couple texts back and fourth every couple months with the additional phone calls around birthdays or holidays. I remember growing up and going to visit my Aunt’s family, on my mothers side, you could literally feel the love radiating from them. Just sitting there listening to how they talked to each other no matter what was happening in their lives, it would make me incredibly happy yet sad at the same time. With my family it was always lies, chaos and conversations in tones riddles with regret. I’ve always wanted my family to be like my Aunt’s, and always told myself I would work hard to try and change it. Yet now I have no overwhelming desire to try and change my family, I love them with all my heart and would do anything within my ability of any of them. This sort of change isn’t hard so why not?
I've never viewed my family as normal. My biological father had a kid when he was a teen, gave him up for adoption, I've never met him. He's married four times now and had kids with three of them, and a child with a women between the first and the second. My biological mother, I'm not even sure how many times she's been married, if I had to guess the number would probably be three as well. In all I have two older brothers, one of which I've never met and probably never will. Four younger sisters and two younger brothers. I'm the only child between my mother and my father.
Before the age of eight I lived with my mom and her various boyfriends as my mother and father separated when he was sent to prison shortly after I was born, along with one of my older brothers and one of my younger sisters. Life was complicated for most of what I could recall. My mother was an abusive alcoholic drug addict that would often abandon us at “friends” or locked in a random hotel room. I can count the number of good memories I have from this time on a single hand in comparison to the countless others. I remember living at camp grounds in southern Idaho rockies and being driven to school every few days. I remember being told to kneel in front of my drunken mother along with my brother and being told that if we were men we wouldn’t cry right before being hit so hard in the chest I threw up. I remember going to someones house while a party was going that had porn on a big screen. I remember watching a drunk man pin my mother to the wall after throwing soup on her and beating her bloody because he forgot his daughter was supposed be staying with us while his wife was at work. I remember the car I was in being shot at because my mom owed the dealer money.
Honestly I could fill pages with these types of memories. I was eight when my mom was finally sent to jail, I was given a choice, I could live with my Aunt, the one I mentioned earlier, or I could stay. At the time I didn’t know staying would mean being put into foster care and I had never heard of this Aunt before, didn’t even knew I had one so my older brother and I chose to go stay with her. My sister however wanted to stay. It’s fairly complicated as to what happens from there but I have only spoken to my biological mother a few times since then and only visited her twice. Once for my fourteenth birthday and the other as an adult after getting back from deployment. She’s always had my contact information yet after jail she didn’t want anything to do with me. Never wished my happy birthday and now that I’m older she never returns my calls to check in on her. I can’t say I hate her but I do despise her for what she put my brother, sister and myself through. Three years ago I learned she has stage four lymphoma, treatable but not curable, and she will one day die from it. Every time I get a call from an unknown number that I’m not expecting I wonder if it will be the one. The call to let em know that she’s passed. I’m not sure how I will feel.
I started living with my father when I was almost nine. After staying with my Aunt for some time she contacted him and he drove drove to see me. When my Aunt told me he was coming I was confused, I didn’t know I had another dad, let alone this was my real dad, I had always thought my moms boyfriend was my dad, that’s what I was told anyways. After meeting and spending time with him I decided I wanted to go and live with him and his family. At that time he had been out of prison for some time and had cleaned up his act and was walking the Christian path. Life was decent, I couldn’t complain. My dad is a carpenter so he worked hard all day and typically would come home, eat, watch an hour of tv and go to bed. Providing for a family of seven, even back then was expensive. Being the oldest I wasn’t afforded a lot of the same opportunities as my younger siblings would get in the future. I wasn’t allowed to stay over at friends houses, I quickly learned that asking for money to see a movie with friends from school or to meet them at the burger place down the road on the weekend wasn’t an option. This applied to joining clubs or wanting to learn to play an instrument.
I assumed it was because we couldn’t afford it, I later learned when I was about 22 it was because my dad harbored resentment for my mom because she left him when he went to prison, that “every time I would look at you I would see her and am reminded of it.” It’s hard to think of the what I could have achieved given an sort of foster or support to my interests growing up. Every once in a while I’ll catch myself doing the same mannerisms or phrases, even talking in the same tone as he would to people some times. It makes me uncomfortable, while he made me feel more care for than my birth mother he wasn’t/isn’t a very happy individual and I don’t want to end up like that. Sure I’ll admit it, there are a lot of people out there that did and do still have it worse than myself.
For the most part my siblings are doing well. I worry about a couple of them because their life has been rough, far more then mine has. I wish I had the ability to help them but there’s nothing I can really do. How do you help others from drowning when you feel like you’re neck deep yourself. Whats the saying? You can’t save someone else if you’re already drowning. I think that’s how it goes. I do wish I was closer with my siblings.
I’m really not sure why I wrote all this. It started out as simple reflection into my weird state of not unhappy but not happy either, I guess its along the lines of just existing and not living, then it turned into some deep back story of my life. Kind of sheds a little bit on why I am the way I am maybe? Or maybe I just need to get some of it out? Some days I don’t feel any emotion in particular but as of late I find myself angry, for no particular reason either. I’m not meaning in the I wanna punch things or I’m going to rage at you for no reason kind of angry. More like a frustration angry, stand in the woods and just yell, push your face in your pillow and just scream till you can’t. I know it’s having an outward effect but I really don’t know what could be causing it. Well it’s currently 4:37 and I need to sleep. Thank you and also sorry if you read any of this. Like I said idk why I wrote this just felt like I needed to.
Comments: This fic got really hard to write at some points but I think that a story of hope needs to be spread. Before you read this you should go watch this to get how I got the idea for this fic and really where most of this fic ends up. The song that you sing is this.
Warnings: rape noncon and cursing.
Song inspiration?: Gatekeeper-Jessie Reyez
You had just finished you're shift at the bar when a friend of a friend invited you out.
“Y/N sweetie how are you?” Maria asked you as you pulled you're jacket on.
“I’m fine everything's going great” You said smiling
“Look I know this guy real big in music and he’s throwing a party tonight I think you should come” She said as she linked you're arm.
“I dunno I’m not really big on parties.” You said sighing “and plus I have nothing to wear I’m not going to a party looking like this.”
“I have a dress in the car come on please” She said pulling you in the direction of where her car was parked. “And think of the music this guy Ozzy is real big in music come on” she said practically pushing you into the car. You changed halfway to Ozzy’s party into the tight fitting grey dress. As she pulled up to the party you noticed how low key this party was besides Maria’s car there were only two more. As you ran up the stairs you were met by Ozzy.
“Sweetheart this is Y/N she’s an artist she’s my plus one” Maria said planting a kiss on his cheek.
“Y/N come on in” Ozzy said as he wrapped his arm around you're waist.
“Ozzy you're big in music but please watch you're arm.” You said brushing his arm off of you're waist.
“Ok shordy I respect dat’ but please Maria says you're an artist lemme hear sum” He said smirking.
“I dunno I’m not really- I can’t really think of anything” You said blushing.
“Do figures love” Maria said as she hung off some guy.
“Yea love do figures” Ozzy said smirking.
You sighed “Figures I gave you ride or die and you gave me games Love figures I know I'm crying 'cause you just won't change. Love figures. I gave it all and you gave me shit. Love figures. I wish I could do exactly what you did” You sang as you finished you heard one set of claps.
“Let’s go Y/N were skipping this spot” Ozzy said wrapping his arm around you're waist and this time you didn’t push him off as he walked you back to the car you asked him a question.
“Are you taking me to the studio?” You asked smiling as you got into the car.
“I’m taking you to my house” he said his hand sliding up you skirt. You tired to move it but his hand was stuck to you're thigh.
“Come on Ozzy let go” you said pulling his hand off which he finally let go.
“Don’t you fuckin get it! Do you know that 30 million people want a shot at what you're getting right now, think of me as a gatekeeper ad think of me getting you as me giving you the key. So just cool it and let me” Ozzy said putting his hand back on your thigh.
“The keys shorty don’t forget ” He said.
One year later. You and Ozzy had become a big ticket item and as he promised he got you fame but not without consequence for you at home. You two had moved in together and got engaged.
8:00 pm after a performance:
“Y/N baby we looked so good out there and that performance it was great” Ozzy said smiling as you got out of the car, flooded by paparazzi as you entered your shared house. Moments like this you liked when Ozzy wasn’t being a mean an abusive fiance that you cherished the most and that convinced you to stay with him. As you closed the door behind you and closed all of the blinds so the paparazzi couldn’t get a view into you're personal life. You heard Ozzy plop down onto the couch.
“Y/N get you're successful ass over here I want to chill with my soon to be wife” Ozzy said
“Who says I’m going to be you're wife?” You asked taking a seat next to him. He put his arm around you neck and kissed you're cheek.
“Now to finish the night off” He smirked as he grabbed the bottle of vodka off a table next to you and started chugging it. You knew tonight wouldn’t be good, when Ozzy started drinking he couldn’t be controlled he was drinking the night you met him, soon after he first proposed and now today.
“Oz please cut it with the drinks. You can’t really hold alcohol that well” You said trying to grab the bottle from him. That when you felt it the first punch right to you're cheek which knocked you over then another one to you're eye then another to you're mouth after about 5 more punches you couldn’t feel anything you were still conscious but you couldn’t feel anything. He finally got off of you and walked back over to the couch. You laid there sobbing for about 5 minutes before Ozzy yelled
“Cut you're whining slut I’m trying to watch the game” He took another sip of vodka that’s when you knew you had to get out of there you knew it would get much worse from there. As you pulled yourself together you grabbed you're phone from right next to you t must of fallen out of you're hand when he- you couldn’t bring yourself to even think of it. As you stumbled down the stairs and opened you're door you thought of who to call when suddenly you saw a flash and look over. One of the paparazzi always staked out you're house hoping to get a glimpse of you or Ozzy. But as soon as he saw you he put his camera down and rushed over to you.
“Mademoiselle what has happened?” He asked walking over to you.
“Don’t post that photo” You said just before you fainted back into his arms.
Five days later. Ozzy’s hit had given you a brain bleed after the doctors went in and did surgery on it you fell into a coma for a little under a week.
“Ozzy?” You're voice sounded weak fralish. You heard someone yell for a doctor and before you knew it a swarm of doctors came in asking you to squeeze their hand or breathe into something, it was a little over 30 minutes before they let you have some peace.
“Ozzy? Where is my fiance?” You asked as you were sat up by a nurse.
“Look I don’t know anything about you but you're music so I’m not the person to ask try asking the man pacing the room” The nurse said as she walked out leaving you and the stranger in the room alone.
“Who are you?” You asked
“My name is Gilbert” The voice said “But I am known to friends as Lafayette” He said stepping into the light his hair was up in a bun and he was wearing a turtleneck jeans and a little pin of the american flag on his shirt.
“Where is Ozzy I need him?” You asked
“Why do you need Ozzy?” Lafayette asked as he stepped closer to you.
“He’s my almost husband and I love him” You said touching you're cheek the exact spot where he kissed you and then punched you.
“You still love the man that did this to you?” He asked handing you a mirror. You're eyes were puffy you're lips were busted and you're cheeks looked swollen.
“Where is Ozzy?” You asked pushing the mirror down.
“How can you be with a man who has done such vile things to you?”
“He holds my career in his hands. Can’t you see it? Without him I’d be nothing I owe it to him to stay!”
“With you're fame being so high another record company would surely take you”
“If I even try it Ozzy would erase me he owns basically all of the company’s in this business”
“We could find someone please just don’t go back to him” Lafayette pleaded.
You felt a single tear run down you're cheek “I- can you please just get Ozzy for me” You said
“Fine” Lafayette said as he grabbed his stuff including his camera, right before he left he snapped a photo of you you're head leaned back on the bed the bandage covering you're incision and you're face in all it’s beat up glory.
“Baby girl” Ozzy said as he ran in through the door.
“Oz” you forced a smile on you're face.
“I’m so sorry I don’t know what got into me I just hate when you touch my liquor” He said touching you're face
“I know Oz it’s my fault I shouldn’t of touched it” you said looking away from him gazing out the window.
“Oh thank god. Now I’ve arranged to get you sent home today but only so that the paparazzi don’t see you looking like this” He said.
“Oz do I still have to perform tomorrow with you?” You asked somberly.
“What did I tell you? You have the keys to the gate now there is no closing it once it opens. Now come on where getting you sent through the back entrance” He said helping you into a wheelchair.
“Ozzy have you been with other women since I’ve been gone?” You asked as he pushed you onto the elevator.
“The gates have to open somehow right?” He responded simply. That night went like most did Ozzy through some party and since you're condition/ face hadn’t improved he locked you in the guest bedroom. But even from there you could hear the women come in and out of his room.
The night of the performance:
“Does she look normal?” Ozzy asked you're makeup artist as he walked into you're dressing room.
“She looks fine,basic,bland” She said
“So she looks normal?”
“Pretty much” The makeup artist said as she left.
“So we're changing our routine up a bit” Ozzy said sitting in a chair next to you.
“In the end instead of walking off the stage where gonna give them a nice long kiss alright?” He asked placing his hand on you're thigh. You flinched
“Are you sure?” You asked swallowing
“Yea shorty we needa show them that if anything were together.” He said
“One minute till show!” Someone yelled into you're room. As you got out of you're chair you hoped and prayed that everything would go fine and that t would work out. From the wings you heard the music play and someone shoved you onto stage, you found you're spot and then started singing.
“Twenty million dollars in a car.Girl, tie your hair up if you wanna be a star.Thirty million people want a shot. How much would it take for you to spread those legs apart?” You sang as the crowd erupted into cheering. And then Ozzy came on with his rap verse.
“Oh I'm the gatekeeper. Spread your legs.Open up.You could be famous.If you come up anywhere else, I'll erase you. Drink up, bitch, we got champagne by the cases Don't you know? Don't you know?We are the gatekeepers. Spread your legs. Open up. You could be famous.You know we're holding the dreams that you're chasing You know you're supposed to get drunk and get naked.” You sang you're part again and Ozzy rapped and soon enough the song was over and it was time for the dreaded kiss. You wanted to avoid it so naturally you walked over and took you're ending pose next to each other but instead of staying and doing the kiss you walked away. Or at least you tried to but he grabbed you're hand and pulled you back to him putting his hand on you're chin and lifting so he had a better angle to basically shove his tongue down you're throat on live tv. As the lights faded out you two walked off of stage and back to you're dressing room he was quiet which scared you because he tasted like alcohol when he kissed you. As you walked in he closed the door behind himself.
“So you think that was funny don’t you?” He asked taking his belt off.
“I don’t think anything is funny” You said backing yourself up against a wall. He came at you he wrapped his hand around you're throat and started choking you, he probably could've killed you if his phone and you're phone didn’t start blowing up. With his free hand he grabbed his phone and looked at the messages. He let you go and you collapsed onto the ground gasping for air.
Following the lead of that overprotective GOM, may I ask for a really funny scenario of Kagami dating Momoi, and everyone in the GOM are out to threaten and kill - just kidding, they give him their "blessings" and a LIL BIT of a warning~ please make it extra chaotic, like the GOM challenging Kagami in a one-on-one and only if he wins can they properly accept him, or something like that, your choice XD Thanks a whole bunch c;
Hi dear! I hope you’re going to enjoy it, because Ihad a lot of fun writing it! It could be a bit chaotic, I hope it’s stillreadable. Also, I’ve exaggerated some characters for a more comical effect, soit could be slightly ooc, but it’s voluntary.
KagaMomo and protective!MiraGen
Kagami and Momoi were walking down the street holdinghands, trying to reach the park for an ice-cream, when a car screeched to halton the street beside them. Momoi blinked perplexed at the long, black car andthen a horrified expression flashed on her face.
Kagami looked too, noticing his girlfriend hadsuddenly stopped, and, under his shocked stare, Akashi got off.
“Akashi?” the red-haired muttered, a really badfeeling shivering down his spine.
“I’m so sorry Kagamin!” Momoi whispered, squeezing hishand, and the boy understood.
“Kagami-kun.” Akashi started, placing himself in themiddle of the way so they couldn’t pass, “Let me ask you, what do you think itqualifies you to be our Momoi-san’s boyfriend?” Asked in his cold, politevoice. Even if there was a smile on his lips, his eyes were terrifyinglyserious.
“You told them!” Kagami whispered her through hisgritted teeth.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t realize it!” she apologizedhonestly and he wanted to slam his head against the nearer wall.
“Kagami-kun, I asked you a question.” Akashi repeated,crossing his arm and losing his smile.
“Actually,-” He began, scratching embarrassedly his neck.
Luckily (or maybe not) for him, a sudden voiceinterrupted him.
“I’ve to admit I agree with him, Kagami-kun.” Kagamijolted and turned to see beside himself Kuroko, a vanilla shake in his hands.
“When did you arrive?” he yelled shocked.
“From the start. I’m tailing you two from Momoi’shouse.” He explained blankly, without even trying to feel ashamed.
“Are you fucking crazy?” Kagami shouted, while thegirl became red ‘till the ears. She had kissed her boyfriend in front of hisbest friend!
“I wanted to be sure you’re enough for Momoi-san.” Headded, furrowing his eyebrows.
“You’re my partner!”
“That’s exactly why I’m not persuaded.”
“Could you please not ignore me?” Akashi interruptedthem with a small cough.
“It’s not your business!” Kagami shouted exasperatedbut the two glared at him.
“She is ourbusiness.” Stated menacingly.
Kagami was without words. What they were, a mafia’sgroup?
“KAAAAGAAAAAMICCHIIII!” From far away, the Americanboy caught a glimpse of Kise, running towards him at full force, “WAIT RIGHTTHERE!”
“Damn!” Kagami cursed and, without other alternatives,he dashed past them before anyone could stop him, dragging Momoi with him.
“Kagamin!” she exclaimed, instinctively following himand trying to keep up with his peace.
“Run!” he ordered pulling her by the hand. They had toescape, now. Those guys had gone crazy.
He heard surprised exclamations behind him.
“Get on the car, Kuroko!” Akashi yelled and the carroared.
To avoid being followed in the street, he suddenlyturned to the left, taking the wide path that entered in the park and wherecars couldn’t come. He felt a burst of hope in his chest, still running to finda place where they couldn’t reach them, but it was too early to celebrate.
In the air echoed the noise of wheels speeding on theground and, from nowhere, on their right appeared an open trailer pulled by abicycle; on the bicycle, Takao was pedaling with all his strength and seemed onthe verge of fainting, while in the trailer was seated Midorima.
“Kagami! Don’t escape and face us properly!” Midorimayelled at him with a cold glare, “We can’t let you take Momoi-san withouthaving tested your suitability!” added, fixing his glasses.
“Not you too!” Kagami groaned hopelessly.
“Kagami please stop! I’m dying!” Takao beggeddesperately, panting as if he was going to cease breathing in few seconds.Kagami looked at him with pity, but his sense of self-preservation forced himto avert his gaze.
“I’m sorry Takao!” apologized regretfully, suddenlychanging direction and pulling Momoi in a wood, through the grass and betweenthe trees.
“Kagamin!” she whined, starting to feel tired. Shewasn’t an athlete like him.
“I’m sorry Momoi, I’m going to hide you in a safeplace, don’t worry!” Kagami muttered, giving her a fond and worried glance. Shebreathed deeply but nodded. In that moment, she was scared of his friends too.
“YOU’RE NOT!” Kise jumped out of a bush, leaves andbranches in his clothes and ruffled hair, “YOU HAVE TO BEAT ME FIRST!” Yelledpointing a finger against him.
“Die Kise!” Kagami answering, avoiding him with asharp turn and running in the opposite direction. The boy swore and ran afterthem.
Suddenly, a wild Murasakibara appeared in front of thefugitives and Kagami crashed onto him.
“Ah,” the giant exclaimed blankly, “I’m gonna crushyou.” Added opening his purple eyes wide.
“You’re all crazy!” Kagami yelled hysterically,evading his hands and dragging Momoi to the left.
He exited finally from the wood in the open spacewhere children with playing peacefully, but a well-known voice echoed in theair.
“Kagami-kun, I order you to stop!” Akashi rdered,individuating him and chasing after him under the shocked star of the localmothers.
“You can’t escape us.” Kuroko threatened appearing tohis side like a damn ghost.
“Kagamicchi!” Kise was coming too near andMurasakibara tailed them silently and menacingly.
“Kagami stop!” The apparition from the left of Midorima,by foot, completed the cage to trap them.
They were surrounded, they could only go forward beforethey finally reached them.
Without even realizing, Kagami’s body had instinctivelybrought them to the only point of the park he knew well. He found himself onthe street basketball court without realizing and then abruptly stopped, realizinghe could have made a bigger mistake.
In the middle of it, playing lazily with a basketball,stood Aomine.
“Dai-chan!” Momoi exclaimed surprised and the boyraised his eyes on them.
Kagami, panting, froze on the spot and heard thescreaming guys who were tailing them coming to a halt too. They quieted down,stopping at the border of the court, like if some sort of special event was goingto take place.
“Oi, Kagami.” Aomine called him, giving a glance tohis and Momoi’s interlaced fingers, “Let’s play.” He only said, but Kagami knewhe couldn’t refuse. No that he wanted.
“Okay.” He replied, letting go his girlfriend’s handand patting reassuringly her head before entering the court.
Aomine didn’t even wait, coming at him immediately; hedribbled past him and pointed towards the basket, Kagamitried to stop him but he just evaded him and dunked. Kagami cursed and Aomine threw him the ball again.
“Satsuki sucks at cooking.” He suddenly said, in his low, indifferent tone,“Everything she prepares isn’t edible.”
Kagami furrowed, trying to pass through his defense.
“I know. I can cook for two,no problem.” Kagami replied, focused on the match.
Aomine stole the ball without breaking a sweat and advanced.
“She always bitches about everything, is childish, annoying andspoiled,” Aomine continued, trying to shoot but Kagami stopped him and tookpossession of the ball.
“Yeah, I know. But she’s also caring, cheerful andkind. Her flaws are not a problem.” Kagami muttered with firm eyes, trying toreach the other side of the court, but Aomine stole the ball again.
“She’s the worst type of woman,” Aomine added with aknowing snort, rushing to the basket, “She never says what she wants butexpects you to understand it; she needs attentions, love and to feel cherished.”
Kagami tried to stop him, but Aomine avoided him witha fluid movement.
“I know, but I don’t care. If it’s her, it’s fine. I’mjust happy being by her side. Cherishing and loving her is not a burden.” Mumbledblushing furiously.
Aomine let out a small sigh and jumped; Kagami mimickedhim to contrast him, but in the end, Aomine won and slammed the ball throughthe rim like a wild animal. Kagami fell with his back on the ground, whileAomine just landed on his feet and picked up the ball.
“Satsuki, I’ll be honest, is going to be a realhassle.” He stopped in front of him, “So, take care of her properly, alright?”murmured with a smirk on his lips, pointing the ball to his chest. His usualcold or annoyed eyes were unusually soft and worry was evident at their bottom.
Kagami blinked, understanding, and then a wide smile spreadon his face.
“You can bet on it!” Promised, standing up and takingthe ball, and Aomine nodded in acknowledgement.
Then Kagami looked at the silent crowd who had watchedthe match, and opened his arms wide.
“Someone else?” provoked, ready to fight for Momoi,who was watching the two boys of his life so fondly that she had small tears inher eyes.
Akashi sighed, crossing his arms.
“If Aomine had given his blessing, we can only surrender.”Admitted unwillingly.
“I have to agree, even if I don’t like it.” Midorima addedfixing his glasses.
“But remember,” Akashi continued, smiling politely asif he was going to murder him in his sleep, “If you ever make her suffer, we’regoing to let you experience the rage of the Generation of Miracles.” Threatenedand his eyes shined with the colors of the Emperor.
Kagami gulped, but nodded seriously.
“There’ll be no need.” Assured and he made a note tohimself to be the best boyfriend ever or, damn, he was dead for sure.
“It seems I have to acknowledge you too.” Kurokocommented, slightly disappointed, and resumed slurping his vanilla shake.
“You were just enjoying it, weren’t you?” Kagamigrowled, rubbing his temples for the exasperation.
“I’ve never said that.” He replied deadpanned, but hisfriend knew he was smirking inside.
“You bastard…” roared.
Kise stomped his foot on the ground.
“Eh? I don’t want to accept it like this!” poutedchildishly, “Kagamicchi play against me too. You have to beat me!” Challenged him,grinning wildly.
“Oh? Bring it on, Kise!” Kagami accepted, making theball spin on his finger.
“I still want to crush him too. I’ll play.” Murasakibaramuttered, throwing away an empty bag of chips and licking his fingers.
“I’ll take Takao and then we play too.” Midorimaagreed, moving towards where he had left the trailer.
“What happened to him?” Akashi asked slightly worried,arching an eyebrow.
“He fainted in the trailer but should be fine by now.”He answered shrugging as if it was something normal.
“A good match, I approve it.” Kuroko commented with afaint smile and stretched himself., preparing to play
Kagami looked with an excited smile at all the guys, willingto play basketball with him, but then he remembered an important thing.
“Wait, I was on a dat-”protested looking at hisgirlfriend, who chuckled.
“It’s okay Kagamin!” Momoi interrupted him, tugging astrand of hair behind the ear, “Let me see you win, right?” she cheered on him,winking and blowing a kiss.
Kagami blushed, stiffening, and nodded embarrassed.
“I-I’ll win for you.” Stuttered, starting to feelpumped up.
Wrong move. Wrong words.
A cold chill made him shiver. When he turned to facethe others, a curse left his lips and his animal instinct begged to run awayagain.
All the members of the Generation of Miracles weresurrounded by an evil, dark menacing aura and were smirking devilishly at him.
“Yes, Kagami-kun.” Akashi agreed activating hisEmperor Eye, “Try your best to win.”