#i’ll make one of these every time she does something idc

[abyssruler]

r/HowTo: ask my crush out

pairing: xiao x gn!reader

summary: xiao has been crushing on you for the longest time, so he does what any normal person would do and asks strangers online for for tips on how to ask his crush out. you, being the troll that you are and not knowing his identity, deliberately give the guy on your subreddit bad advice.

word count: 2.3k

note: a lil something because i think modern au xiao is the kind of person who goes to reddit and asks for input on every little thing. can be seen as high school or college au. kinda ooc xiao but idc. comedy!

r/HowTo

posted by Alatus01

How do I ask my crush out like a normal person?

I’ve been friends with them for some time now and I’ve only noticed how much I really like them. They’re nice and funny, even if they can be a little mean, but even that meanness is something I like about them. Just the other day I saw them laugh in the middle of drinking, snorting out water from their nose, and I still found them attractive. I think I’m in too deep.

I can’t really keep this bottled up anymore and I want to tell them how I feel but I’m scared they won’t reciprocate and it might ruin out friendship. Can anyone help?

Snickering to yourself as you saw one of the recent posts in your subreddit, you quickly typed out a response. No way you were gonna allow anyone else to get laid before you, even if it was a complete stranger from the internet.

yn-yournuts:

you just have to make sure they like you back. have you tried the scent method?

You tap your fingers as you waited for the guy, Alatus01, to reply.

Not even a few minutes later, a response shows up to your comment.

Alatus01:

What’s the scent method? I googled it and nothing showed up.

Because it was a thing you completely made up.

yn-yournuts:

it’s the thing where guys lean in super close to the person they like and inhale their scent. you then gotta tell it straight to the person’s face what they smell like and that they smell nice

Which would then result in them either being slapped or labeled a creep. You know you would physically throw hands with anyone who tried to get in your personal space, then said how much you smelled nice.

Alatus01:

Okay, thanks. I’ll try that sometime.

You log out, satisfied with your work.

✧

As you’re walking down the hallway with Xiao, he suddenly stops. Turning to him curiously, you ask why he stopped.

He’s looking at you with trepidation, mouth pressed in a thin line like he’s about to vomit. Worried, you begin to take a step forward, but he beats you to it by leaning his face close to you, so close that you can feel his breath on the skin of your neck.

“X-Xiao?!”

Your mouth feels dry all of a sudden. You hear him intake a deep breath right beside your pulse, and you hope he doesn’t hear how hard your heart is beating.

When he pulls away, his cheeks are red and he’s unable to meet your wide eyes. “You… you smell nice.”

At your slack-jawed response, he turns an even deeper shade of red and turns around and practically runs away.

Kokomi, who watched the entire thing nearby, walks up to you and places her hand on your shoulder. “Hey, are you okay? That thing Xiao did just now was—”

“Hot,” you blurt out, eyes dazed. Xiao said you smelled nice—Xiao! He said you smelled nice!

You think if you died today, you’d have absolutely no regrets.

She looks at you like you’ve got a few screws loose. “I was going to say weird but okay.”

You grab her shoulders and shake her hard, an almost manic look in your eyes. “He said I smelled nice! That means he must like me back, right?!”

“Yeah, maybe…” Kokomi agrees, not having the heart to burst your bubble and say how much your crush has blinded you. If it were anyone else, like Childe, you would have knocked his teeth out for even breathing the same air as you did.

✧

Alatus01:

Update: I don’t think the scent method is very effective.

yn-yournuts:

it’s probably bc you didn’t do it right. how about you try asking them to see a movie? there’s one showing now called ‘pallad’s adventures’ and i heard it’s effective for couples

It was not, in fact, effective for couples. The movie was rated 1/10 and many on social media were calling it a waste of a budget. You saw one of your classmates, Albedo, posting a ten page essay on why Pallad’s Adventures deserves its horrible reviews and why it should be removed from theaters as soon as possible. A little too harsh on a few wordings, but for the most part, he was right. The director would probably cry himself to sleep if he read the essay.

Alatus01:

But I heard it was a bad movie?

yn-yournuts:

that’s cuz those couples only want to gatekeep it from us single people. i heard from a friend of a friend that it wasn’t really that bad

Another lie. Hu Tao watched it with Yanfei and said it was worse than bad.

Alatus01:

Alright. I’ll give it a try.

Oh, this poor innocent guy. At least after the movie, he’ll have learned his lesson on not taking advices from trolls on the internet. You tell yourself this is you educating another person on internet awareness, but really, you’re just bored and in need of good entertainment.

✧

“I bought tickets for that show called Pallad’s Adventures. If you’re free tomorrow, do you want to go watch it with me?” Xiao asks you after class.

You’re so shocked by his words that you accidentally drop all your books.

You don’t even care that he invited you to watch that horrid movie, Xiao was asking you to watch a movie with him! Just the two of you! You’d have to be dead before you even think of saying no to him.

He hurriedly bends down to pick up your books and hand them to you, a downcast look to his eyes. “It’s alright if you don’t want to—”

“No!” You yell, startling him. You press your books close to your chest. “I mean, I’d love to watch the movie with you! I was just a little surprised.”

You can see him visibly relaxing his shoulders after your explanation. He then smiles, small and meant only for your eyes. It sends an arrow straight to your heart such that you momentarily forget that you’re about to spend two hours of your day tomorrow watching the most awful movie to date.

“I look forward to it,” he tells you.

But at least you’re spending those two hours with Xiao.

✧

It takes a week before the Alatus01 guy gives you an update regarding his love life, but you were so busy being too high on your unofficial date with Xiao to notice the lateness.

Alatus01:

Update: It went really well. The movie wasn’t that great but my crush invited me to get dinner after, so I think the movie worked.

It was crazy how such a terrible movie could bring people together. First, you and Xiao, and now this guy and his crush. Maybe the movie has some sort of magic to it.

But you’re still kind of annoyed that someone was having a better love life than you. You and Xiao were still only friends while this guy seems like his crush asked him out on a date themself. And you’d deliberately gave him bad tips! It was like the universe was determined to get this guy with his crush or something.

It was time to pull out the big guns.

yn-yournuts:

have you tried sneaking in to their window?

Alatus01:

What?

yn-yournuts:

i heard it was romantic if guys went to their significant other’s house in the middle of the night and woke them up by knocking on their window

Alatus01:

That sounds questionable?

So he wasn’t completely naive and oblivious. Good for him but bad for you.

yn-yournuts:

you lack imagination! haven’t you ever watched the amazing spiderman? peter parker and gwen stacy’s entire thing was windows!

Alatus01:

I don’t think that’s right. And wouldn’t they feel uncomfortable if I show up without warning?

yn-yournuts:

they might, but if they do like u, they’d probably be more pleasantly shocked than anything

A total lie. Even if you liked a person, them showing up at your house in the dead of the night and waking you up from your much beloved sleep was enough to have them on your hit-list.

Alatus01:

Isn’t there a better way to tell if they like me back?

yn-yournuts:

it’s up to you if you wanna take the risk or not. personally, i’d do it, actions speak louder than words. you’ll really be able to tell how much they like u depending on their reaction it

Oh wow, now you’re starting to sound like you’re giving actual good advice. But it’s not like his crush likes him that much that they’ll forgive his little trip to their house so easily, right?

Alatus01:

You’re right. I’ll try it.

yn-yournuts:

that’s the spirit! give me an update once ur done!

✧

After a few days of staying up late to finish long overdue homework and projects, you collapse on your bed and ready yourself for a full ten hour sleep. You’re almost in the land of dreams when a sudden sound rouses you from sleep.

Blearily raising your head from your pillow, you squint through the darkness in your room, trying to pinpoint where that sound came from. Another tapping sound resounds from somewhere. You look over to your left where your window is, just in time to see something hit the glass and make a small plink! sound.

Annoyed at the interruption, coupled with a few days’ worth of sleep deprivation, you rise from your bed and stomp to the window, unlocking the latch and slamming it open. The cool breeze caresses your cheeks as you lean your head out the window, mouth open and ready to yell at whoever’s bothering people in the middle of the night—

Only for all your words die out when you see Xiao standing right below your window, a black hoodie thrown over his shirt and wearing pajama bottoms. He looks sheepish as he lowers the small rock he’d been preparing to throw.

“Hi,” you squeak out.

“I…” He trails off, looking around as if trying to find words to say. “Sorry for waking you up.”

You’re quick to shake your head. “Wake up? Me? Psh, I was just on my phone just now. Haha! Who said I was asleep?”

Relief overtakes his handsome features. You take a mental picture of the sight and store it in your memories.

Leaning your arms on the windowsill, you ask, “What brings you here anyway?”

“I wanted to see you...” Your mouth parts. Xiao is staring somewhere to the left, unable to meet your eyes.

You think your heart is about to combust. The moment is then shattered when he shivers after a particularly cold gust of wind blows. “Come on up here! It must be freezing outside.”

He shakes his head. “I just needed some answers.”

You tilt your head in question. “And did you get those answers yet?”

A look of realization slowly dawns on his face as he gazes up at you, no trace of irritation in your eyes. “Yes, I think… I think I do have the answer.”

With a slightly dazed look, he waves goodbye to you and makes his way to the bike parked in front of your house. You watch him rev the engine up and speed away down the street, something niggling at the back of your head at this strange encounter.

You promptly forget about it the moment your head meets the pillow.

✧

Alatus01:

Update: I think they like me back.

And just like that, you’ve once again failed your mission of sabotaging random people’s potential love lives. This case is probably worse because you actively worked to give them blatantly bad advice that somehow worked out in the end.

This guy’s crush must either be a nutcase, completely in love with him, an idiot, or all of the above.

Fine. You admit defeat. One more person in this world was getting laid before you did. Feeling sour, you type out a response.

yn-yournuts:

congrats ig. now you just need to confess

✧

Xiao pulls you aside after class into an empty classroom, his palms sweaty when they make contact with your arm.

There’s a determined look on his face that turns into uncertainty once you’re in front of him, watching him straighten his back and take in deep breaths like he’s preparing to answer a math test.

And then he utters the words that would have given you a cardiac arrest in another universe.

“…I like you. I’ve liked you for a long time.”

Archons, if this is a dream, please don’t ever wake me up.

You continue to stare at him, the silence hanging between you like an executioner’s blade, waiting to see which side it will swing.

You see him start to shrink into himself, losing confidence the longer the silence stretches on, and without much thought, you throw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his torso and burying your face into his shoulder. You inhaled. He smells like almonds and qingxin flowers. It was addicting.

Slowly, almost hesitantly, he returns your embrace.

Muffled against his shoulder, you say, “I really like you too, so much that all my friends say I’ve lost my sanity. I’ve been wanting to tell you but I didn’t think you liked me that way.”

His shoulders shake with mirth and relief. Then, Xiao admits in a low tone, “…Me too, but someone online really helped me. Their advice was strange, but they always worked out. Like now, they were the one that told me to confess.”

You spend a few seconds sending a mental thank you to that person. They deserve all the riches and blessings in the world.

You didn’t think much on it beyond your initial gratefulness, much too preoccupied with savoring the warmth that radiated from him while he embraced you. So you shelved that little detail for the moment to be checked on later.

“This means we’re dating now! No take backs, Xiao!” You declare loudly.

He nods with a little hum, hugging you even tighter than before.

✧

Alatus01:

update: We’re dating now

And for the first time since you commented on his post, you reply genuinely.

yn-yournuts:

congrats! so happy for you!!

✧

You bolt upright on your bed hours later, realization written all over your face.

Oh Archons.

Is Xiao Alatus01?!

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #xiao x reader #genshin xiao x reader #modern au #genshin modern au #gn reader

[skullverse]

➼ from the start ⋆ ★

vernon chwe x female reader---

young love was never easy, and you had your own sour tasting of it. when your childhood best friend, vernon, falls deeply in love with someone else, you wonder if you’d ever get a chance again. to be fair, you’ve been there: from the start.

tags: friends to lovers, fluff, angst (kinda)

word count: 1.7k

first ever post woah. this is a short work based on laufey's 'from the start' but with a happy ending bc i'm a hopeless romantic. enjoy (or don’t idc)

i stirred my watered down iced latte, head in my hand, listening to vernon talk. i had grown tired of listening to him harp on about some ‘soulmate’ he met at the library a few weeks ago. “she’s so perfect!” “blah blah blah,” was all i could hear. i’ve known vernon for as long as i can remember. seeing him this knee deep in love was something new to me. though, the thing that was harder to accept is the fact that he never noticed the little things anymore. how i get quiet when there’s no one else around, how every small act he does makes my cheeks flush pink. when he looks at me with his stupid brown eyes, his gaze reminds me of how he doesn’t feel the same. 

“y/n? y/n~ hello? earth to y/n..” vernon said, waving his hand in my face. i snapped my gaze up, looking at him.

“huh? yeah, she’s cool, or that sucks,” i mumbled, i had no clue what he just said. vernon sighed and wiped his hands on his pants, defeated.

“you’re not listening,” he said sadly.

“well how could i listen? what do you want me to tell you ‘she sounds so dreamy, you’re lucky!’?” i replied. how could i just sit here, listening to the guy i like most talking about another girl? “i just got a little bored of listening.”

“well, could you at least try helping me talk to her?” he asked. i squinted at him. “please y/n,” he pleaded.

“okay, fine,” i said, “but what’s in it for me?”

“er, whatever you want?”

------

i walked into the library hallway, around the same time vernon had gone and met the girl. he gave me a brief description outside. before heading in, we stood around like creeps waiting to see if vernon’s mystery girl walked in. i was talking about my horrible psychology project when vernon suddenly shushed me and hit my arm repeatedly.

“shhh, look! that’s her!” he said in a whisper-yell. i had to admit, she was very pretty. it drove me a bit insane.

“alright, i’ll see what i can do,” i said. no turning back now.

i walked into the huge library, books lining every corner. the big skylight brought in rays of sunlight in every inch of the room. i looked around, trying to spot vernon’s soulmate. after wandering a bit, i saw her in the far corner looking at the rentable cds. 

“can’t believe i’m doing this,” i grumbled, before walking into the music section. i snuck a peek at her, trying to think of something to start my creepy conversation. i noticed she was wearing a pretty lace top, a perfect contender. 

“hi!” i said in a hushed tone, “oh my god i love your top, where’d you get it?” i asked.

her short black hair moved so gracefully as she turned to look at me. she gave me a warm smile before answering.

“aw thanks! i think it’s from a website called cider,” she told me. she was holding a cd: a soundtrack to one of my favorite games.

“is that the persona 5 soundtrack? i love that game!” i said, trying to get more of a conversation. 

“it is! you know that game? it’s one of my favorites,” she said shyly. i excitedly nodded yes. maybe she wasn’t that bad of a person. we stood there talking about our shared love for the game, and found out we actually had a lot in common.

“what’s your name? i think you’re cool!” she asked.

“i’m y/n, you?” i replied.

“i’m scarlett, y’know could i get your number? i’d love to get to know you more!” she asked me.

“score.” i thought to myself. who knew it’d be this easy?

“yeah of course! would you wanna walk to my class together? i left my bag there, maybe we could grab a coffee?” i suggested.

“i’d love that!”

we chatted on our way out of the library. i suddenly remembered that i left vernon waiting for me outside before i entered. i wondered, was he still there?

my questions were answered as i spotted a very impatient vernon standing against the wall. i told my new friend if she could give me a moment.

“wow, woah.” was all vernon said seeing me manage to befriend his crush. “any information?” he whispered.

“better. her number,” i whispered. “now see ya vernon!” i called behind me while waving.

“sorry,” i told scarlett, she seemed like she was in awe.

“woah, who was he?” she asked shyly.

“oh, just my friend vernon, why?” i asked. i took one look at her expression and instantly knew the answer. “oh my god you think he’s cute.”

“well! just a little..” she defended herself, “okay, maybe..”

i smiled and laughed in a form of excitement. vernon would faint if he heard about this. “i’ll set you guys up!”

—two weeks later; y/n’s house.

i had gotten home about an hour ago, planning to work on my project. but all i could think about was how vernon and scarlett liked each other. my head spun as i laid in bed, my blanket covering me entirely. i looked out my window, staring into the blue. what was i to do? two weeks had passed since i set scarlett and vernon up, and they were perfect. they instantly clicked like missing puzzle pieces. the guy i’ve fallen in love with now had the perfect chance of getting a girlfriend. whilst i had to play matchmaker. 

i hadn’t even realized it, but i was crying. tears stung my eyes, my makeup running. it was terrifying. love was truly driving me insane. 

as if my mind was read, my phone chimed, a text. i sighed, grabbing it and turning it over. my eyes took a second to adjust to the bright screen, but i soon saw the two unread texts. it was vernon. ‘hey where r u? thought we agreed to meet up at my place at 5.’ the latest one read: ‘im coming over’. i quickly got up, struggling to keep my balance. i got a look of myself in the mirror, seeing my ruined makeup. i cursed under my breath, taking some makeup remover to wipe up the mess. my eyes were a bit red and puffy, but i doubted that vernon would notice. 

i heard three short knocks at my door. my heart was practically beating out of my chest due to my nerves. the last person i wanted to see was vernon. i slowly made my way over to the door, looking into the peephole. sure enough, there stood vernon, with his hands in his pockets. his fluffy brown hair was messed up. i took a deep breath and opened the door.

“hey,” i said quietly, not daring to look into his eyes.

“yo what happened? you could’ve just called off the plans-hey. y/n, look at me,” he said, suddenly grabbing my chin, forcing me to look at him.

his hand fell to his side when he saw my face. red, puffy, horrified.

“are you okay?” he asked cautiously. he made his way in, closing the door behind him.

“i’m fine, what’re you talking about?” 

“no you’re not, you’ve clearly been crying. i can tell because-”

i quickly cut him off, “okay, so what? why do you suddenly care? shouldn’t you be hanging out with scarlett and making her your girlfriend?” i spat out.

“what? can i not worry about my friend?” he said, hurt. 

“vernon, that’s the problem. you haven’t been worrying about your friend,” the word ‘friend’ hurt to say, knowing that it was all he saw me as. “it’s just..you’ve been so focused on scarlett. ever since that day at the cafe, i just saw you change. hell, she was all you talked about until you found out that i set you two up! it’s like you forgot about my entire existence and replaced me. it hurts vernon, it hurts a lot.” i muttered. 

vernon was about to say something, but i managed to cut him off, “it hurts seeing you fall in love with someone knowing that i’ve had the biggest crush on you from the start,” i blurted. i gasped and covered my mouth, instantly regretting my last words. i could feel tears welling up in my eyes again.

as i started to cry, vernon grabbed my arms and held me close to him. though i couldn’t see his face, i knew he’d have a shocked expression. we stood, hugging, embracing each other’s warmth. i sobbed, unable to stop the tears from flowing. i felt his chin at the top of my head, resting.

“i just wish you had told me sooner y/n,” vernon finally spoke up, breaking our hug.

“am i too late?” i replied, looking down. 

“nope, i’d say you’re right on time,” he said, smiling. “i had to get this off my chest sooner or later, i’ve felt the exact same. you just beat me to it. the only reason why i ‘liked’ scarlett was because i thought you wouldn’t see me as more than a friend,” he rubbed the back of his neck with an awkward smile.

i couldn’t help but let out a laugh, i couldn’t believe it. i wiped my tears with my sleeve, looking up at him. “did your forcing work?” i asked.

“i can’t just get rid of my feelings for you that easily. hell, just thinking of you, i knew i’ve loved you from the beginning,” he shyly admitted. 

“i think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said,” i said laughing. 

he sat me down on my couch, wiping the remaining tears off of my face. i felt my face burn up, realizing how close we were. his fingers grazed my cheek, slowly trailing down to my lips. he paused, hesitating. 

“can i beat you to it this time?” he asked, breaking the silence.

i laughed, “go right ahead.”

he smiled fondly, leaning in and closing the small gap between us. he kissed me slowly, holding my chin up slightly. my hands interlaced with his soft hair, deepening the kiss. we eventually broke apart, for the sake of our lungs. i looked up at him, smiling like a loon. he held my hands, peppering kisses on my fingers. 

“i’ve loved you y/n. from the start.”

----end.

skullverse 01.

#vernon #seventeen #svt #vernon x reader #vernon x y/n #svt fluff #vernon seventeen #vernon svt #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #vernon chwe #seventeen hansol

[squishi-bunni]

Sean Diaz x Reader HCs:

Reader is Filipina

Note: so sorry for not posting. First year of college and its kicking my ass a bit but at least i have As and Bs. This is a very obviously self-indulgent thing I wrote (b/c I think it is too often that the reader is assumed to be a white woman) to destress so uh… enjoy! Sorry again for falling off the face of the Earth.

fem!filipina!reader, fluff

-Yours and Sean’s family will get along pretty well

-Because Filipinos and Mexicans have such similar cultures (we in the colonized by Spain gang) your parent(s) warm up to Sean pretty quickly!

-You both share a mutual hatred for the Spaniard conquistadors.

-Comic misunderstanding of what the word “puto” means in Tagalog vs. Spanish

you bring some freshly steamed rice cakes (puto) that your mom made over to Sean’s house. 

Sean and Esteban are sitting by the counter when you come in. You excitedly say “Hey! I brought puto, want to try?”

Both Esteban and Sean look at you with wide eyes.

”Would we like to try WHAT now?” ”puto!” you hold up the rice cakes, “Filipino rice cakes!”

Esteban starts smiling, trying to hold back his laughter.

Sean says, “Y/n, that is not what that word means.”

”That’s what it means in Tagalog. Does it mean something different in Spanish?”

Esteban is snickering at this point. “Yes. It means something very different.” He laughs harder.

Sean pinches the bridge of his nose.

After they explain to you what “puto” means in Spanish, your jaw drops.

”Oh my God I’m so so sorry I had no idea; it genuinely just means ‘steamed rice cakes’ in Tagalog I swear!”

Sean and Esteban both laugh. “Está bien, hija. It at least makes a funny story.”

-You call Sean “mahal ko” and Sean calls you “mi amor”

-He brings you Mexican food and you bring him Filipino food

-Like every non-filipino, he instantly LOVES lumpia when you first introduce it to him

-You mom made an extreme excess of lumpia, so she gave him a freezer bag full of premade lumpia rolls. You help him deep fry them one day after school (he wants to share with his dad and Daniel) and his whole house smells like frying oil afterwards.

-Both of you talk about similarities and differences between Tagalog and Spanish for funsies.

-Playful arguments on which country does leche flan better

-You introduce him to ube-flavored sweets

-One time you bring ube Otap cookies to their house and Daniel ends up gobbling them all up (to Sean’s dismay)

-Cursing at him in Tagalog thinking it would be funny but he understands the gist of what you said

“Putangina mo”

“Hey!”

“Hehehe”

-He teaches you Spanish and you teach him some Tagalog

-Agressive pinoy pride >:3

-he makes fun of you for being short (not our fault that the average height is 5’1!!!)

-Bonding over cultural similarities

-y’all are such an it couple bc poc4poc relationships that are also interracial are such a slay

I realize that the LIS2 fandom is already very niche (even within the LIS community) so these HCs are even more niche but… idc! Writing this made me happy lol.

I’ll try to fulfill some of the requests I got back in September! Sorry for not getting to them yet.

Hope you enjoyed! :3

#life is strange 2 #sean diaz #fluff #sean diaz fluff #sean diaz x reader #life is strange #lis2 #sean diaz hc #sean diaz headcanon #filipino reader #filipina reader #filipino hc #filipino headcanon

[gasolinerainbowreads]

I am trying to get better about organizing all the fic I read! (My drafts still sit at a hefty number lol.)

↓ ICON LEGEND ↓

🌈 = title 🪆 = series, multiple parts, etc. 🔋 = make sure your vibrator is charged before reading 😈 = Horny Demon Hours™ approved 🥹 = hurts so good/ouch, my feelings 🧠 = did somethin to my brain/altered my brain chemistry

Here's what I read in August along with a comment and/or a favorite excerpt:

@cavillscurls

🌈Pretty Prey 🔋😈-- Joel Miller x afab!reader "Tears spring to your waterline as he bruises into your cervix, the grunts and murmurs of that’s it, take it baby, can see the outline of my cock against your tummy all indication of his enjoyment."

@ezrasbirdie

🌈Catalyst 🪆🔋😈-- no outbreak!joel miller x f!reader x frankie morales “Tastes damn good, doesn’t it?” Joel says, and Frankie lets out a quiet, desperate whine. “Good boy.” 🌈Some Part of Me Came Alive 🪆🔋😈🧠 -- no outbreak!joel miller x f!reader x frankie morales Joel runs his fingers through Frankie’s hair when he pulls of off of him, cupping his cheeks and brushing his thumbs over his jaw. It's like that first kiss all over again--there's such profound relief Joel has to fight back tears. It doesn't matter that he's new to this--it's all so right because it's Frankie. 🌈Breakfast 🪆🥹 -- no outbreak!joel miller x f!reader x frankie morales plzzzzz this is so fucking perfect and sweet and good and i wanna devour it

@netherfeildren

🌈Forfeiting My Mystique 🥹🧠 -- Ezra x F!Reader “It’s why I love art,” he continues. “You can be close to something, feel its warmth, beauty – whatever feeling it is the artist intended to pull out of you, from a distance. Untouched – it’s untouchable. That comforts me for some reason.” 🌈The Cassandra Complex, Ch 1 🪆🔋😈 -- Din Djarin x F!Reader “Just one more, little one. Want to see it up close,” he murmurs. 🌈The Cassandra Complex, Ch 2 🪆 -- Din Djarin x F!Reader You are a burning effigy washed in the violet light of righteous fury as you stalk slowly towards his, soon to be dead, bounty. 🌈Greener Memories of Better Men 🔋🥹-- Joel Miller x F!Reader This whole entire thing is heart-wrenching and amazing.

@swiftispunk

🌈Your Summer Dream, Day 4 - Sand 🪆🔋🥹-- JOEL MILLER X F!READER “Just ask nice, baby, I’ll give you whatever you need.” THIS MAN IS A MENACE. 🌈Your Summer Dream, Day 5 - New 🪆🔋🥹-- JOEL MILLER X F!READER "Suck," you instruct him, stronger now, more desperate as he draws pleasure from you with what's clearly practiced care. "Good girl," he hums lowly, like he's genuinely proud of your confidence, like he really does want this for you. WHEN'S IT GONNA BE MY TURN?! HUHHH???????

@strang3lov3

🌈Hibachi 🪆🔋😈-- bil!joel miller x fem reader (pre/no outbreak) This whole entire thing is *CHEF'S KISS* 🌈Are We Going To Talk About It? 🪆🥹-- bil!joel miller x fem reader (pre/no outbreak) This time, you will be loved like you deserve. & You are safe here with me.  🌈Come To Jesus Moment 🪆🧠 -- bil!joel miller x fem reader (pre/no outbreak) Every time she says sorry to Jesus I howl.

@thetriumphantpanda

🌈Come Away with Me, Monday 🪆🔋😈🥹 -- Joel Miller x F!Reader x Tommy Miller OH MY GOD i am obsessed with this whole dynamic. 🌈In The Woods Somewhere, Ch 1 🪆-- Joel Miller x F!Reader plzzzzzzzz she never missesssssssss jfc

@frannyzooey

🌈Short Days, Long Nights 12 🪆🥹🧠 -- Joel Miller x f!reader this shit just fucking CHANGES MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY every fucking time I read it

@joelscruff

🌈Needy Baby 🪆🔋😈😈😈😈😈😈🥹🧠🧠🧠🧠 -- boyfriend's dad!joel x f!reader bro. MY GUY. MY SISTREN. this is ... this is the hottest smust ive ever read. idc. this whole story is amazing, and then THIS??? i can't even fucking think straight

@ezrasbirdie

🌈Surrender, Ch 10 🪆🔋🥹🧠 -- joel miller x ofc daisy She flushed read from her neck to her ears. "I don't know, exactly. I just don't want to embarrass you." Daisy had a habit of casually saying things that shattered his heart. Why did she think he'd be embarrassed? PLZZZZZZ. This fucking series KILLS ME. Daisy is my homegirl, and i will fight anybody who disagrees that she is SUPREME. 🌈Surrender, Ch 11 🪆🥹🧠 -- joel miller x ofc daisy All the fears she’d worked so hard to push away returned, magnified by the memory of Joel’s lips all over her skin. He’d held her and made love to her and kissed her all over and then he left her here alone. He said he needed her, too, and then he left her here. Alone. *screams like an injured pterodactyl*

@bageldaddy

🌈I Know It When I See It, Part 3 🪆🔋😈🥹 -- pornstar!joel miller x fem!reader But growing up a girl meant getting used to the idea that sometimes sex was painful. You’re so used to men moving with violence, with contempt. In real life, so much of fucking felt like hate, it’s not exactly a surprise to find that sometimes the same thing is true in porn. 🌈I Know It When I See It, Part 4 🪆🔋😈🥹 -- pornstar!joel miller x fem!reader the smut in this part is so hot you are guaranteed to feel your heartbeat in your pussy lmao

@chloeangelic

🌈Yes, Father IV 🪆🔋-- Priest!Joel Miller x Priest!Javier Peña x housewife!reader the way he takes her to their bedroom instead of the guest bedroom made me wanna punch a wall what a menace lmao love it 🌈Belong To Me, Chosen 🪆🔋😈🥹 -- Line cook Joel x waitress reader the breeding kink .... DO NOT READ WHILE OVULATION im being so for real when i say that

@softlyspector

🌈Decaf 🪆🥹🧠 -- tattoo artist!Joel Miller x f!Reader this whole entire series is so delicate and intricate. i am obvs a huge slut and love smut, but this story doesn't even need it. it's so, so good.

@breakfastatjoels

🌈A Bird in Your Teeth, Epilogue 🪆🥹-- joel miller x f!reader this was the perfect ending to an AMAZING story. plz read this if you haven't already!!!!

@walkintotheriveranddisappear

🌈And His Car Is a Piece of Shit 🪆🥹-- joel miller x fem reader the angst in this one is CHEF'S KISS 🌈Total Satisfaction, from the Comfort of Your Own Home 🪆🔋-- joel miller x afab reader a man that will dick you down with a possessive edge and then do handyman jobs around the house?? sign me the fuck up

@darkroastjoel

🌈A Safe Haven, Ch 8 🪆🥹 -- Joel Miller x Female Reader; Ellie Williams x Platonic Female Reader this is like my all-time fave comfort fic 100%. it's ongoing, but i have read each existing part several times lol

@tieronecrush

🌈Only Angel, Ch 1 🪆-- javier peña x f!reader the whole concept is so good, and i love all the detail! also, the part where she emailed him about a mistake in the syllabus had me fucking rolling. NERD.

@psychedelic-ink

🌈You Hate It That You Love Me 🪆🥹 -- stripper!jack daniels x f!reader this whole series was so angsty and delicious. definitely one you will re-read over and over. 🌈Menuet 🔋😈😈😈🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠 -- animal shapeshifter!pero tovar x f!reader im so fuckin mad at this story. this shit unlocked a new kink for me and fucked with my brain in the process.

@iamskyereads

🌈Compulsion Pt 5 - Initiation 🪆🔋😈🧠 -- EZRA (PROSPECT) X OFC BEATRICE I. AM. OBSESSSED. This fucking fic... I cannot BELIEVE I get to just come on this website and read shit of this caliber FOR FREE?!?!!?! insane

@party-hearses

🌈Relax, Baby 🪆🔋-- joel miller x f!reader if Joel called me princesa id be fucking DONE gone no thoughts 🌈Don't Be a Brat, Baby 🪆🔋-- joel miller x f!reader second part to the above story. such a fun read, and the dialogue is EVERYTHING so cute, sexy at times, playful. just so damn fun to read this!!!

@pascalsbby

🌈The Devil and His Brother, Pt 1 🪆🥹🧠 -- Joel x Tommy x Reader again. we get to read this shit. FOR FREE. my fucking mind cannot wrap itself around that fact. so many fucking talented writers in this fandom. thank you thank you thank you for sharing your brilliant, fun works! this story is a wonderful example of "ordinary people" knocking it out of the fucking PARK with their talent.

@cool-iguana

🌈Acting Out 🔋 😈😈😈-- Din x f! reader “Are you now? You forgot to count, though, cyar’ika. Good girls count. Let’s try again from one, no crying.” His tone dripped with condescension as he began again, practically reveling in each gasp and broken sob that spilled from your lips, taking pleasure in each time you stuttered on a number. this is so horny i love it

@mandoisapunk

🌈Ride, Cowgirl 🔋-- Joel Miller x reader i love the dynamics in their relationship and the comfort of switching it up!

@gracieispunk

🌈Bowling Night 🪆🔋-- Maintenance man!joel x f!reader listen, i am ride or die for reader. she's never done anything wrong in her entire life, and i stand by that lmao.

@toomanystoriessolittletime

🌈Revenge 🔋😈-- Dave York x fem. Reader CUCKING!!!! HELL YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#monthly wrap up

[ct-multifandom]

Minisodes oh my lawd

I haven’t posted yttd since Kai’s island route came out, but wow that was some shit I just saw. I wanna talk about my thoughts. I’ll go in order of increasing sadness and rambling.

!!! spoiler warning !!!

Anzu

The least lore-heavy story maybe? It was cute, and I liked to see more of her since she’s one of the most minor characters in the playable cast, but I feel like there wasn’t a lot of deep stuff in this one.

Her school uniform is cute but seeing her de-clown-ified and normal is strange. It’s like when Nankidai draws Gin without the fursuit

I saw other people point this out as well, but it’s weird that Ryuu’s coworker got a full sprite while Anzu’s girlfriend was just a silhouette. Is the woman relevant somehow? mean if she and Samurai Yaiba can get sprites then why not the friend? Maybe it’s comparable to us never having seen Ryoko’s face in outside content or any part of her at all in the game itself, but Ryoko’s situation makes me suspicious. Does this mean something or is it irrelevant?

That bit about Kugie buying all the ice cream was a surprise. I wonder if it will be relevant to Kanna’s story, like she got her a ridiculous supply of ice cream to cheer her up when she was sad or something. Also confirmation that Kanna and Anzu lived in the same town. Did the cast all live near each other or is it just them?

I see people upset that Anzu found a guy hot but like. Her color scheme is the pansexual pride flag

I saw mention that she said she made her costume herself in the game, but the minisode says that it was a gift from Ryuu. Maybe he gave her part of it and she made the rest, or that she modified an old costume herself to be more her style? More likely that Nankidai just forgot tbh

The plaza where she became a clown is the one Midori was in last chapter, but we haven’t had a chance to be there in peace. I guess it’s just another memory location, but it’s interesting that it’s the setting for some very climactic scenes while the others aren’t. Of course, we haven’t seen every character’s room yet.

I feel like there’s something we’ve yet to learn about Anzu because at the moment she just feels like a wholesome, kinda incompetent comic relief character, and this game does not have those. Why is the survival rate of the girl who complains about extracurriculars being too much work so high? Is she such a positive force that people can’t help but keep her around? She dies immediately two separate times in the game and frankly doesn’t help with anything during puzzles. Is she secretly a good manipulator? She’s a self proclaimed good actor and learned slight of hand tricks and such from Ryuu. Does she have another side to her? If not for the logic route, we wouldn’t have known what Ranmaru is capable of, but according to the minisode, the way Anzu acts in the game is the same as how she acted to the people around her normally.

Alice

Why can’t we have nice things??? It was so cute and so heartbreaking at the same time. Like, if this was a scene in a linear, chronological story, we’d still have the hope and maybe expectation that Alice will still fix things with Reko, but we know that from this moment on he screws up literally every chance he can get until it’s too late. The good ending we want so bad is pretty much impossible.

The kid sprites are so cute. We already saw them in that one CG but seeing them as sprites makes them feel more alive, y’know

When Alice referred to himself by name and Reko was like I already know your name… this one’s going in my transgender compilation

Them having a secret treehouse fort is so baby

And I love the Samurai Yaiba designs. Looking camp right in the eye. Idc if people think it’s ugly, the girls who get it get it

It was nice to finally meet the other band members. I wasn’t expecting to ever see them have real screen time but hey. Although Stronghold turned out to be a creepy weirdo and Ursheen is nonverbal or mute or something?

I’m excited to see island routes for these two. Idk if their events together will be deep or anticlimactically goofy. I imagine Reko’s “good” ending will involve starting a band or something, but what would Alice’s be? Does he have his own ambitions? Imagine if it was the other way around, if managing a band or teaching music to beginners was his passion

It’s interesting that almost every account of this plot line is from Alice’s perspective, which makes sense because it has a much stronger emotional effect on him than on Reko who thinks she has more important things to worry about and overlooks Alice. I would like to see more of her take, though, because her whole situation seems to be deeply un-relatable to him. Did she prioritize her success with the conscious awareness that she’s hurting his feelings, or is she just so career-focused that she didn’t even think it’d affect him?

Lastly, I’m intrigued by fandom reaction to Reko’s behavior. People rightly find her to be complex and compelling, but they also just like her and seem to forgive or understand her. I often find that when a character, especially a woman, does something like this, people hold it against them pretty harshly. Yet Reko is widely loved and may even have more fans than Alice? Is it because we know she becomes a better person later on and starts to mend their relationship? As a member of the liked-Qtaro-before-it-was-cool-and-everyone-else-hated-him club I’m curious about the standards people hold flawed characters to. Is it because Reko has that badass punk rock pretty privilege, or does her story just resonate with people?

Kai

Oooohhhh my god dude. This one. Shitting and crying. Kai was allowed to be happy for five seconds ever.

Seeing Sei was a jumpscare

Seeing young Gashu was an even bigger jumpscare. Y’know how when a guy shaves, all you can see is the real estate where a mustache is supposed to be?

I can’t BELIEVE this shit made him somehow sympathetic. These sideplots have made every villainous character from previous chapters have a sympathetic side what the hell. We haven’t seen the full extent of Miley’s story yet, just little hints, which is exciting to me, obviously Safalin is grey all over, and Ranger was programmed to be the way he was, but Gashu?! Clearly he still sucks, but HRNNGGHR what’s next? Does Midori have a sympathetic side?

Gashu making brief, absolutely pathetic attempts at treating his kids as people with feelings between training sessions. These moments of empathy being seen as a failing on Asunaro’s end that had to be beaten out. Gashu not fully understanding what they were planning and turning himself into a total emotionless monster after he found out to protect himself for what was coming. He probably thought he was doing Ranger a favor by making him the way he did.

Sei’s whole thing re-contextualized Rio Ranger so grossly. People are upset that Kai didn’t live to meet him, but I’m kinda glad he didn’t have to see how his father desecrated his brother’s personality and image post-mortem.

Hated seeing the light leave their eyes after the visit from Asunaro lady

Speaking of her, huh? She looks way too unique to be a silhouette character? All the other ones were generic looking normal people but she looks like Miss dori. My theory is that the hair was the only part that mattered, that that hairstyle is a symbol of the figure the organization sees as “god” and its higher members perhaps try to emulate it, Midori included.

We got some more explicit information on the religious cult side of Asunaro. We already knew Gashu had these beliefs, but the other floormasters didn’t. We have hints that Miley and Safalin are actually exceptions, caring more about their scientific research and personal agendas than whatever the organization’s true beliefs and agendas might be.

Kai trauma-dumping on Mr Chidouin made me uncomfortable. It feels like Kai will trust anyone who’s nice to him, and is surprisingly optimistic or even naïve considering everything he went through. We don’t know what Mr C’s goals are, but man. He has the same poses as Meister. Come on. I hate the way he had that fake ass smile plastered on while Kai spilled his heart out. It seems like Kai never learned how to trust or distrust people, and both those things played a part in his downfall.

That Euphoria Rue Happy Moments compilation on YouTube that’s only one minute long except it’s Kai

I like how Sei really did have that bitchy, unserious personality Ranger ended up with, except he also had ~feelings~. I would have liked to see how his brash sense of humor plays of Kai’s bizarre one.

Does involvement with Asunaro immediately require you to upload your consciousness to their central computer or something? Where else would Gashu get the AI of a long dead kid for Ranger? I doubt he understood him well enough to have him replicated from scratch, fucked up liberties and all.

Sei being older than Kai surprised me. How old do you guys think they were? Like 12 and 15 maybe? I have seen many fans in the past interpret Ranger as being an adult, but I always saw him as a kid/teenager. I guess a big part of it is his trauma-induced immaturity (and probably literally having the mind of a child), but he looks young to me too. He doesn’t look too much older than Sei, and his body appears strangely un-athletic looking for someone who underwent rigorous assassin training, thought he does look taller. Maybe 18-ish?

The whole murder island thing felt so impractical and unnecessarily sadistic but then again everything the organization does is like that. Also can’t believe Kai won the hunger games by doing nothing what a legend

I know Sei’s death wouldn’t have had nearly the same effect without CGs, but this minisode being the only one with extra art like that made it feel way bigger than the other two

The way Sei was capable of breaking down in tears and loving and being terrified but still had it in him to kill others, and be casual about it too

Kai growing up still wearing that same type of uniform every day symbolizing how he could never escape Asunaro’s grasp even when he tried running, ignoring it, covering it up with his apron which represents his individuality. Ranger wearing that black t-shirt and little yellow scarf representing him being freed from Asunaro’s expectations, not in a way that granted him autonomy, but rather that it gave them the OK to empty out everything that made him him and using him as a brief, disposable tool, represented by him stealing pieces of all the other humans who were similarly used and killed by Asunaro for himself.

What would Kai dress like if he could pick out his own clothes?

I would love an afterlife scene with these two like the one Nao and Mishima got

Or the normal version of a Sei AI in YTTS

Man getting to know Sei really changed my whole perspective of Ranger and I’m glad he and Kai not only knew each other in life but also formed a close bond. That for a brief period they both had somebody they could trust

Edit addition: omg how both of them became completely aware that they were going to die with no way out of it, and didn’t accept it per se, quite the opposite actually, but their final wishes were to at least not die at the hands of the enemy who doomed them

Can you tell this one was my fav? Yeah uh. Fuck. Anyway I love how Nankidai manages to keep everyone relevant as have us learn more about them so long and so consistently after their deaths. Nobody is just there for a plot device or shock value, they all have their own stories that don’t end when they’re gone. Can’t wait for more

#yttd #your turn to die #kimi ga shine #kgs #yttd minisodes #yttd minisode spoilers #anzu kinashi #alice yabusame #reko yabusame #kai satou #sei satou #rio ranger #gashu satou #long post #yttd spoilers #your turn to die spoilers #kimi ga shine spoilers

[justallihere]

I am so excited to see Violet's relationship with Brennan moving foward and how Xaden is going to play a role between them. Because even if he doesn't want to he'll have to be a sort of mediator between the two of them.

I swear i have so many headcanons and theories about your fic, more even than the canon lmao.

I love the confidence your Violet has and I wonder if when they get together and she encounters one person she could feel jealously (Cat for example) if she'll feel it at all or if she's be like: I am the queen and i know what i mean to Xaden, idc about anyone else. Because i don't see your violet having the same reaction as canon violet.

Also would love a scene where Violet is in mortal peril and Xaden loses his mind. I love a simp man !!!

also do u have any advice on how to post consistently ?? I just admire your posting schedule so much !! thank u for gifting us with your writing

Yes I was just scribbling down some thoughts about Brennan and Violet, and I’m excited for their next couple interactions. Also it’s going to be quite a while but I can’t WAIT to have all three Sorrengail siblings together in the same room

Cat will be showing her face again, and she’ll certainly try to make Violet feel insecure/jealous and Violet will just roll her eyes and walk away. While she does have insecurities in this world, none of them are really related to her relationship with Xaden, they’re more about her physical strength and being compared to others and even those things she’s worked hard to overcome

As for posting: I write a lot anyway, this just happens to be the thing I’m focusing all my attention on writing right now. It’s more habit than anything! I write at least a few hundred words every day, usually more. I’m also a pretty disjointed writer, so if something isn’t working I’ll leave it alone, write another scene, and then come back and fill in the gaps later. That helps keep me from getting frustrated and having major writer’s block. I have notes for myself to follow, too—I’ll go “okay this chapter needs to have this scene, this one, and that one” and I’m usually looking forward, so the way I write isn’t necessarily “this is what’s happening right now” it’s “how does this moment get me to the next one” if that makes sense, so I always have a sense of momentum. I know my characters, I know their motivations, and I know the end goal here (mostly lol). If I didn’t have those things I think I’d get stuck and fall into the pattern of writing isolated scenes and not telling a story as a whole. It’s okay to take time away from your writing to get the whole picture and reevaluate if something doesn’t feel right or isn’t working for you or your story! And there’s nothing wrong with taking your time either, I have the luxury of working from home right now so I have more free time to work on what I want than when I commuted and worked in an office

#fourth wing #fourth wing fanfic #storm in the quiet #writing

[nottapossum]

Hi I just found your story on Ao3 and I love it so far! I really think it fits Blitzo and Fizzarolli having to grow up fast in the circus and under Cash. I really look forward to reading more chapters.

Plus I also really like the first part of “Father knows best” I think Moxxie also tends to fit the whole little space as we’ve seen in other episodes Moxxie had to grow up fast and has many insecurities but also can be a brat demanding things to go his way or wanting attention.

I really look forward to reading more and would love to chat and exchange ideas/perspectives cause I really love this take you have in all your stories with Blitzo and Fizzarolli 💜😊

TYSM! ❤️❤️ I’m so glad you like it! 🚧(Warning for those reading who haven’t read it, This post will contain spoilers to chapter 1 of the next book father knows best. Had to post it on Ao3 early to avoid the draft getting deleted. You can find it here )⚠️

-I found the flashback scene to be very sad for Fizz and Blitzø. Even though in the scene we see them actually being kids, i did notice a few things I wanted to express:

1: Fizz and Blitzø are playing with the balloons from their act, I don’t think they had many toys when they were young (maybe why Blitzø collects horse figures and plushies as an adult) I know they were low on money, but I’ll bet even after Blitzø helped steal from Stolas, Cash would not see the kids having something to play with as a priority.

2: They had to play after the show and their fun was immediately interrupted by cash forcing his son to do a job he was clearly uncomfortable with.

3: Cash even went so far to casually threaten his son with: ‘Scarier things’ and guilt trip him with the mention of his mother- a child should not be responsible for helping their parents with finances.

4: You can also see the resentment and fear in Blitzø’s eyes.

I started this fic questioning if I even wanted Moxxie to be a little. But, after watching Exes and oh’s for the 2,345th time I realized it’s practically impossible for Moxxie to be anything but!

-Moxxie needed attention as a kid, he went through some horrible trauma. And probably never had someone to truly help him through it.

-I think Moxxie’s mom babied him a lot, making him very dependent on her (as shown in the flashback where instead of showing Moxxie how to cut his steak, she does it for him.)

-Then there’s Crimson who was strict and didn’t seem at all connected with Moxxie. (I expect Moxxie practically raised and educated himself, he would have had to in order to survive.)

-Moxxie gives off socially awkward homeschooled kid vibes. (I would know, I was homeschooled and I’m socially awkward.)

-Moxxie wants everyone to be proud of him! and I mean everyone! Even Millie’s toxic parents. (I said what I said. Idc. Linn and Jo need to shape up. Just because they’re the best ones does not excuse their behavior!)

-He calls every father figure in his life ‘sir’ including his own father, I think Moxxie is unaware as to why he feels like he has to, especially after Blitzø told him to call him by his name, but I think he’s trying to get the approval he always craved from Crimson.

-I find it funny that Moxxie didn’t like when Blitzø referred to their company as ‘family’ even though he totally sees Blitzø as a sorta father figure. I think for him, it felt too close to home to mix employees with family. (Loan sharks = employees = family)

“We are not a family! You’re the boss, we’re the employees!”

mhm.

-Moxxie is very submissive and does what others tell him, but he’s also extremely sassy, rude, and as you said bratty. -We definitely got Moxxie at his brattiest in the newest episode. This is why he really needs Millie, she’s supportive and kind, she thinks the world of him- but she is firm when she has to be as seen in both: Seeing stars and unhappy campers.

-I think Moxxie is trying to be less needy and bratty, but it’s gonna take some time for him to heal that inner child who was never listened to, only shortly felt loved, never was properly disciplined (punished, yes. But not disciplined in a loving way that made him feel safe and cared for. At least, not by his father.)

sheas. That was a long analysis on everything. Sorry about that lol 😅

had a lot of thoughts on this apparently. I love talking about this stuff so feel free to message me anytime! Rants and analyzing random things is totally welcome lol

Taglist: @todayimfour

#helluva boss age regression #itty bitty imps #helluva boss agere #Helluva boss #helluva boss moxxie #Helluva boss Blitzø #little!Moxxie #Little!Blitzo #little!fizzarolli #age regression fanfic #IttyBittyImpsQ&H #father knows best #FKBIBI #helluva boss crimson

[brighttears]

There and Back

Joel Miller (not an x reader)

Summary: Memories of Sarah come back one miserable morning in Joel and Tess’s Botson QZ apartment.

Word count: 2.6k

Warnings: drinking, mentions of pill abuse, basically depression and ptsd symptoms, grief and mourning, talk of (Sarah’s) death, brief and vague suggestion of suicidal thoughts, brief mention of Christian beliefs (hell), smoking (cigarettes), blood (very little), pure angst

A/n: anything about Sarah makes me tear up so easily god this was distressing to write idk why i feel like i needed to christ. also not a x reader fic idc this one was for me

—

He woke disoriented, small, aching, and thirsty. With wisps of her screams still in his ears, Joel had crawled from the bed, clumsily pushing the dresser away by backing himself into it, and fished around under the floorboards until his hand hit a thick glass bottle.

Today’s breakfast is smuggled whiskey. He doesn’t work until much later and Tess has the opposite schedule. So, Joel sits accompanied only by the peeling wallpaper, silent radio, and this bottle before him, full of orange, drowned prayers for some kind of relief. He dumps a pour into his short glass and sets the bottle back down on the table with a bang. Slumping in his chair, he takes a deep breath. He still has glimpses of self awareness, he sees himself here, drinking first thing in the morning, not really wanting to, but she’s still in his ear, those rapid, desperate breaths—his eyes squeeze shut and grabs the glass and throws it back. He dumps another shot, and then another. 

Joel calls himself a coward with every hot swallow. At this point, he probably drinks more whiskey than water, though it's often almost half water itself anyways. He drinks so that he’ll keep drinking when he’s drank enough to not give a shit about anything anymore and the waves that crash over him become lukewarm rather than scorching hot or cuttingly cold. Sometimes, it works. Sometimes, if he sets it up just right, when the whiskey closes his eyes, just before he falls back into the nightmares, he remembers her and feels warm, and is dumb-drunk enough to maybe even be able to smile. 

Sarah comes up throughout the day every day, but the memories are of all the times he was a horrible father, all the times he failed her, and if something like her smile does come up, it brings along a heavy coat of sticky despair and heartache, like tar, he feels it drip hot over his skin. 

There’s a hole in him that won’t be filled, not with alcohol, pills, Tess, work, anything he tries, like he was shot through that night too, only he lived walked away from it. Joel does not have an answer to the question of if he wishes he’d died that night, too, not anymore at least. He just knows that he needs to stay alive for Tommy and for Tess. So, he downs his fourth shot while the sun’s still rising. 

—

In the driveway, Sarah cries softly, holding her shin to bend her leg and watch the blood just begin to bubble up from her scratched knee.

“It’s alright, babygirl, I’ll go get your Hello Kitty bandaids, alright?” He kneels in front of her, brows raised reassuringly but pained. Sarah nods softly, lip quivering, a teardrop forming on her chin, not taking her eyes off of her knee. Joel reaches his hand to her cheek, thumbing away a stream of tears. “I’ll be right back. Okay?” Looking up, she nods again.

Joel practically runs through the house, throwing himself into the bathroom and swinging the medicine cabinet open with unnecessary force, snatching up the bandaids and Neosporin. Her face when he comes back in through the garage door kills him. “Oh, babygirl, it’s alright. We’ll make it all better, see?” he says, kneeling back on the ground to address the shallow wound. 

As he spreads a dot of Neosporin over it, Sarah sniffles and wipes her forearm over her face. “It doesn’t even hurt, that’s not why I’m upset.” Her voice is wet from crying.

“Then what is it, baby?” he asks as he crosses two bandaids over her knee.

“It’s because I fell off the bike again. This is like the fifth time I’ve fallen off.”

“You’re frustrated, huh?” Joel looks at her, resting one knee on the ground and his arm over his other, crouched. 

“Yeah.” She breaks into tears again as she answers. 

“Oohh, baby, that’s alright,” he brushes his thumb over her cheek again, “it’s ok to be frustrated. But you know what?” Sarah looks up at him, eyes wet, brows furrowed, lip quivering, “You keep gettin’ up! That’s the important part, sweetheart. That’s how you learn new things. You just gotta keep tryin’. Keep gettin’ back up.” She nods and sniffles, then wipes her arm over her face again. “You wanna pick this back up tomorrow, we can go inside and I’ll get you a popsicle?”

Sarah stays sitting, blinking at the ground for a moment before she replies, “No. I wanna try again.”

“You sure?”

She meets his eyes with fierce determination and nods. He almost grins, adoring her perseverant nature. 

“Alright then.” Joel nods as she stands up, watching her chest rise and fall with deep, calming breaths. On his feet, he leans to put his hands on her shoulders, looking her in the eyes when he tells her, “You can do this. I know you can. Just takes practice.”

She nods definitively, then rights her bike again and climbs on, Joel behind her with his hands ghosting support as she puts her feet back on the pedals.

—

Joel only cries when Tess isn’t here and there’s already a baby crying or some screaming fight to drown it out. Sometimes it puts him to sleep—mourning is tiring; it twists him up and squeezes him out. He’s surprised he still has anything left to be squeezed out after all these years, but he just saw her, he just lost her all over again. It gets heavy in his chest, a rain cloud growing thicker, heavier, darker, and he’s no god, he can do nothing about a storm, even if it’s his. Does he have the grief, like he had Sarah, or does it have him, like she does?

Sometimes he cries so hard that he starts calling for his mother, or Tommy, or for Sarah herself, lost in desperation for something—an end to the pain, just a break from it, death, comfort, Sarah. He’ll start walking around the apartment, looking for something, he doesn't know what or if it even exists, he just doesn’t know what else to do. The grief is a little creature dancing around inside of his body holding a knife, and he’ll grab at his chest, wanting to rip himself open so that he can find it and kill it. Still, after all these years, it hasn’t left, and he can still shatter. He wails, rips his hair out, sets his gun down across the room and stares at it as he weeps. 

This is why he doesn’t die, because he knows grief and he loves Tommy.

Besides, he deserves this pain, doesn’t he? It was his fault. He failed her. If there's a hell, he knows that's where he’s going. Until then, purgatory. He’ll never see Sarah again.

He pours another glass of whiskey and immediately slams it. What else is there to do?

—

“You got everythin’ in there sweetheart?” Joel asks as Sarah slips her fat, new, purple backpack over her shoulder.

“Dad, if anything, I’m overprepared.”

“Well, I just wanna make sure you, y’know, have everythin' they want you t' have, I mean their little… packing lists weren’t all that clear,”

“I’ll be fine, dad,” she smiles over her shoulder with her eyebrows raised, and then starts for the front door, “come on, I’m gonna miss the bus and you’re gonna be late for work.”

“Shit.” he says under his breath, almost falling forward tugging his shoes on.

Tommy, smoking a cigarette leaned against the truck, flicks his butt and joins Sarah walking to the curb. “You excited for your first day?”

“I don’t know if I’d say that.”

“You nervous?” Joel asks, walking up with his hands on his hips.

“Shit, they should be nervous about you comin’ in there and blowin’ all their hat’s off with that big brain a yours.” Tommy says and Sarah laughs.

“Tommy, watch your mouth.” Joel grumbles, then turns to her, raising his eyebrows and pointing his finger at her, “Don’t repeat that.”

“Oh, she can handle it. Big girl now, middle school, movin’ up in the world.” He ruffles the top of her head and she ducks away, combing it back down, and then the big yellow school bus is rumbling up the street, rolling right up to them with a polyphonic squeak. 

Sarah stands on her toes to kiss her dad on the cheek, then her uncle, and walks backward towards the bus doors as they fold open, waving, “Bye dad! Bye Uncle Tommy! Have a good day at work!”

“Okay, bye sweetheart, I’ll be there at three, okay?”

“Okay dad!” she calls over her shoulder, hands on the straps of her backpack as she steps onto the bus’s stairs.

“Alright, I love you sweetheart. Have a good day.”

“Go kick some ass!” 

“Tommy, there are middle schoolers on that bus.” Joel scolds him quietly. 

“Love you too! I will! See you at three!” Sarah twists and waves one more time on the last step up, then disappears around the corner with a smile. 

“Phew…” Tommy sounds as they watch the doors fold back up and the bus spits and rumbles away, “middle school… they ain’t fuckin’ around when they say they grow up fast.”

“You got that right.” Joel sighs heavily, watching the bus turn the corner and slip from view.

“Alright, brother, come on, we’re already late.” Tommy slaps him on the shoulder and walks to the truck. Joel follows, getting in and pulling on his seatbelt in silence. “Hey,” Tommy says, catching his nervous demeanor, “she’ll be fine, Joel. Bet you’re more nervous than she is.”

“No, I know,” he answers, as he turns the keys, “I’m not worried, I know she’ll do great. She’s always been great at school.” He cranes his neck both ways as he pulls straight out and starts down the road, heading in the opposite direction of the bus, “I just… you’re right. They grow up so gotdamn fast. Feels like yesterday I was showin’ her bunny ears on her shoelaces before first grade. N’ soon enough she’ll be goin’ away to college—”

“Ah, come on, Joel. We got years with her before then. Don’t lose time now worryin’ about losin’ it later.” Tommy watches him.

Joel sighs. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“‘Course I am.” He smirks, lighting a cigarette. 

—

Joel rests his chin over his arm down on the table, examining the dehydrated-piss-colored alcohol left at the bottom of the thick glass he holds in his other hand stretched out in front of him. He sighs through his nose. His eyes hurt. If only the radio would turn on. Any fucking song, any fucking decade, just some sound to take him out of his forlorn and barren internal world, some kind of connection with someone somewhere. 

Joel tells himself that he never gets lonely, but it’s a fat lie, and he wants Tommy here right now so much it hurts. He misses Tess, but he doesn’t want her to see him like this, he’s too ashamed. Tommy has seen him like this. Tommy would help. Tommy would have his hand on his back and he wouldn’t have to say a word, just be here with him. He knew her. He’s the only person in the world that he shares memories of her with, he’s the only other person who knows what a horrible loss Sarah is to the world. 

Joel wants his brother. He drowns the rock in his throat with more harsh, shitty, liquid failure of a relief. 

If Tommy dies, if he’s already dead somewhere, Joel will be the very last carrier of her left. When he dies, she’ll be entirely forgotten, just some bones somewhere, maybe never even those to be seen again, never considered as a former person, a former light of someone’s life, a former bright future, best friend, life saver, a daughter someone was going to cheer for at graduation or walk down the aisle or pick up from asleep in the car and carry upstairs to tuck into bed. No one will know what her fucking smile could do to you or how her eyes are actually golden or that her favorite color is purple and she knows karate and loves pancakes and how spirited she is in her own quiet way, what a truly, purely good person she is, what a big heart she has, how much she is loved. No one will ever know that her name is Sarah and that she is the best thing that ever happened on this fucking planet and she died when she was twelve. 

—

Happiness is a casual presence in the house. It’s the air around Sarah, she fills every room with it just by walking through and passes it to Joel and Tommy like rescue breaths. She was born with love filling every empty space it could fit into within her body and with a creative brain to help her find every way she could to express it. 

At the table, it’s spilling out of her pen as she naturally flows out detailed, spiraling flowers in her notebook. She doodles life, blooming, birth. Tangled, thornless roses, beds of twirling colors over any blank space that happens to catch her attention. Her face is clearly focused in a way that makes her look very far away, deep in her mind. In one smooth, rushed motion, she switches out her pink pen for a blue one out of the case of new glittery pens that he’d just gotten for her.

He doesn’t want to interrupt but he can’t help himself. He values so much being able to continually get to know her as she grows up, always curious about what’s going on in her mind, and there’s always so much. Joel can barely keep up, but he loves to try. 

“Why blue instead a pink?” He asks, head tilted and a smile playing on his lips as he watches from across the table, leaning over the Sunday newspaper that he isn't actually reading.

“Hm?” She looks up and her light eyes glint in the sun coming in through the windows.

“Why’d you change from pink to blue? Just curious.”

Sarah shrugs. “Just cause, I guess. Did you know, though,” Joel grins, elation warming his chest, “colors have meanings, like in movies, different colors symbolize different things. So, pink is love and kindness, but like, playful, because red is also for love, but pink is more friendly. And, of course, it's associated with femininity. Blue,” she points the pen at him, “I thiiink,” she squints an eye at the ceiling, “is... freedom, calmness, trust, and loyalty.” She smiles at him like she always does when she gets to teach him something. It’s one of Joel’s favorite qualities about her—she’s smart, sharp as hell, and she loves to share it. 

“Hm. I didn’t know that.” He takes a sip of coffee from his thick brown mug.

Pleased, Sarah turns her attention back down, swirling and dotting blue flowers out from the pink ones. 

—

It’s so goddamn quiet today and time is moving so slow. There’s nowhere for him to go and Tess is his only friend. 

He's alone. It’s such an ugly thing. Loneliness is not empty but filled with itself. 

Joel shoves dirt into himself, ash, blood, spit, anything, trying to patch up that hole, trying to bring the world back into his hands, clawing at the water to cup in his hands, like he had it before. He had it, he had it, he had it. 

Nothing works. Of course it doesn’t; while he shoves it in he knows it and he knows why. There is only one thing that is compatible there in him and he knows what it is because he was there when it became a part of him and now it’s gone, dead, cold, still, dry bones. His daughter-shaped hole remains empty. 

#the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #joel the last of us #the last of us hbo #the last of us fic #joel miller #joel miller fan fiction #joel miller the last of us #joel miller tlou #joel tlou #tlou hbo #tlou #tlou fanfiction #tlou show #sarah miller #sarah miller tlou #sarah the last of us #sarah tlou #the last of us angst #tlou angst #joel angst #joel miller angst

[petruchio]

i was on a plane but since i know everyone on here was obviously intensely and deeply curious about my thoughts on speak now tv i live blogged in my notes app and now i’ll simply paste my takes here:

Overall tv ranking to me is fearless = sn > red

Fearless improved on several tracks and gave us bye bye baby official (best vault track by a mile) but i still can’t listen to the new YBWM. Red tv massacred every pop track AND lost the raw emotion, so for me not a single song on red tv comes close to the originals. SN doesn’t make any of the songs actively worse (so overall it’s better than red), it’s just missing some of the rawness of the original and the vault tracks are all boring.

Best tracks (ones I would replay on purpose): speak now the song, the story of us (imo both of the songs that she seems to struggle with vocally on the og recordings so the melodies sound cleaner on the tvs)

There’s a really weird clip in the vocals in the original mine at 2:52 (I’ll/never leave you alone) that finally got fixed which scratches my brain. But the rhythm of the chorus sounds off in the re recording, like the emphasis is more on the off beat or something. She says like reMEMber instead of REmemeber. Not a big deal just noticeable to me. Mine is such a good song though like it’s crazy.

Speak now the song is legitimately superior to the original — it was always pitched a little high for her voice and she does the “hold” in the bridge like in the live recording and which I have always loved. (Aka she actually pronounced the H and the word sounds fuller) Always thought she sounded pitchy on the original recording anyway but the tour version is so good, so this is a good middle ground for me.

She sounds bored in some tracks. Like Dear John doesn’t have the same energy. (She’s probably embarrassed to sing “i loved you so” because in retrospect it’s like… yikes. But the og will always win for the intensity)

None of the vault tracks are knockouts and it’s pretty obvious why they were cut, bc like, they’re worse. Fearless tv still wins for best vault track (bye bye baby) and red for overall quality of the vault, this vault was such a let down tbh. Holding onto hope that the debut vault will give us good country taylor back, bc this vault just … didn’t do it for me. Sorry

I miss nathan chapmans backing vocals, no shade to the guy she has doing the tv backing vocals but he was very present on speak now and his absence is notable imo

Production seems more subdued. Like i miss the LOUD guitars on the original dear John. Vocals are more forward in the mix in almost all the songs which sounds cleaner but just not as messy/raw (backing vocals on mean are quieter in the end for example)

“Pathetic” does not hit the same on the new mean.

Idc about the better than revenge lyric change, and especially because it’s about a real person (vs misery business which is just like, a song) (I always say btr was her attempt at her own version of misery business, the problem is that it’s about a real person that was very easy to pin it to) but i wonder if it kind of Streisand effect-s the original song. But overall I think changing it is a net positive, esp bc the original line was so insanely out of pocket for the situation.

That said the vintage dresses line doesn’t sound as sassy. Also “cause you’re so much better” is one of the funniest lines she ever wrote and in tv she just doesn’t sound as mad, which makes sense, but the original will always be funnier because of the anger she uses in her bitchy interpolation of a Jonas brothers song — nothing will ever be so iconic.

Better than revenge -> innocent on the track list is completely insane 13 years on. Like there’s so much venom aimed at a relatively random girl and such a sweet song for … Kanye west. Like huh. Innocent remains a great song though if you can divorce it from the muse.

Why did we have to do haunted like that… turn the echo down HAHA Might be the first time I’ve ever heard the “terribly wrong” line instead of “totally wrong” which I heard wrong since the first time I listened to the song.

We also got the tour vocals on the last “i just know” in haunted call that a WIN.

Last kiss suffers like dear John, just missing the emotion of the original.

Final chorus of long live just doesn’t build the same, but overall the recording is good. But the drums just don’t sound as strong so it doesn’t feel as exciting.

I guess i should’ve expected the vault to be mediocre bc speak now always did have the worst bonus tracks (superman still ranks as one of my least favorite songs… it just never needed to be released in any official capacity)

Overall I feel more positively toward the album itself than I do to red tv, im just disappointed the vault isn’t better. Im not one of those people who is obsessed with let’s go battle (it’s kind of juvenile lyrically but the melody is good) but like why leave that one unreleased if these were the other options lol. Anyway I like foolish one but the rest of the vault is either clunky or boring i said what i said!!

Fearless tv you will always be famous! Speak now tv you win for the best photo shoot and for not having anything as offensively bad as WANEGBT TV.

#tbh mostly posting this for future me #bc my reactions are always interesting to read like a few months later #taylor swift #caroline speaks

[astrologyx]

Golden Era characters react to you being flirty.

warnings? cussing and typos bc idc

Harry Potter

He thought it was a joke at first to be honest but when you made it clear that he wasn’t he was so giggly. Now, Hear me out. When Harry likes someone, he knows how to flirt. He says THOSE kinds of things like “yeah?” “Is that so?” Or “want to say that again?” And definitely calls you “love.” And honestly it leaves you weak in the knees. He’s so sweet about it too, makes sure to compliment you as much as you do to him. But don’t be fooled, the boy has his moments where he is just so flustered by your flirting that he doesn’t have anything to say.

Ron weasly

He’s actually a bit dumb. i’ll be honest but he gets flustered but instead of his cheeks heating up he just says shit like “stop that” “Y/N NO?!” “you can’t be serious” “shut up” and he says it all because he doesn’t believe you like him or are serious. so when you tell him that you are serious he just says “oh” and gets quite and it’s a bit awkward for you both after a few days but he warms up about it and even flirts back sometimes!

Hermione granger

“y/n what on earth are you doing?” she definitely laughs at all your little pick up lines and gives a little smirk every now and again. One time she lifted your chin with her finger and you forgot what you were going to say completely. “You know, flirting with me doesn’t work if you’re the one getting red.” She 100% flirts back but the only problem is you cant tell if she’s serious or actually into you so you have to ask her directly and she replies..with a kiss. <3

Draco Malfoy

He immediately tells you to shut up. like instantly. It honestly surprised you but you continued anyways. That was until one day he gets close to you instead of dismissing him. He asks “what’re you playing at you idiot?” and you look at him noticing a little smirk. “you think i’m playing at something? because i’m not, i’m just seeing how far i can get till you give in.” Red. his cheeks are reds and he can’t fix them so he walks away. “Well i like games anyways, so maybe you’ll give in.”

Luna lovegood

Poor girl doesn’t understand if you try to be slick. With her you would definitely have to stick to straightforward and simple compliments! stuff like “you look really pretty today.” and it would definitely cause her cheeks to flush a light tint of red. Because you continuously compliment her, she starts to think that maybe you like her and because she just says whatever she thinks, she gently asks you “You say y/n..do you like me? because i quite like the compliments!” and honestly Luna would definitely be the first to make things more clear than the rest of the gang.

Neville longbottom

He laughs it off awkwardly a lot because he doesn’t think that you could ever be serious! You usually call him smart in Herbology and he gets very flustered and stumbles on his words. usually mumbles out a few thank yous too! He would DEFINITELY be the type to ask one of the guys or girls what to do about your flirting? Because although he enjoys it, he has no idea how to reciprocate without being shy :’]

Fred weasly

He's a much better flirt than George i shall tell you that. He flirts back with you but will never ever make things clear for you until you say it to him directly. "Fred are you joking? why haven't you asked me out you idiot" you decided to ask him one day, and he simply replies with "why haven't you y/n?" and it leaves you a little shook honestly. He does dismiss you at least and is well aware of your little crush but unless you tell him you like him, you're staying friends.

George weasly

Georgie would be on the nicer side luckily if he knew what he wanted. but hes 10x more confusing because sometimes he flirts back, sometimes, sometimes he doesn't, other times he ignores it. So you stop because you think you don't think he feels the same, and he gets really confused as to why you stopped flirting with him. and you ask him why he cares..and it goes on from there.

Cedric diggory

Cedric actually doesn’t flirt with anyone..like at all. Yes you’d think he does because of all the attention he gets from girls but that doesn’t mean he reciprocates it. So when you flirt with him he brushes you off as another girl who wants him for his looks. This obviously hurts you and you ask him why he brushes you off and tell him that you want to get to know him. This man is shook. But kindly accepts your offer!! “Well if you really want to get to know me? don’t flirt, just ask.”

Ginny weasly

Ginny jokingly flirts with you not knowing your serious for a while but then she catches on because you don’t flirt with anyone else and being the confident and direct girl that she is, she asks you if you like her. (yes you do obviously) the questions honestly leaves you stuttering so she asks more calmly and hold your hand :’) in which you reply yes.

#harry potter #hp books #harry potter ff #hermionie granger #ron weasley

[majaloveschris]

I tend to walk just like him on that pap walk vid when I'm uncomfortable with something. I've never seen a video where Chris was walking like that, even accompany or not accompanied with someone. The way he walks hunched over – I'd understand if he was walking like that to hear something she was saying, but it doesn't seem like she's saying anything –, the way he rubs his hands together all the time and tries to hide them in his pocket every time Alba lets go, these are clearly signs of someone who was nervous, not nervous irritated but anxious nervous.//

There’s another video of him and her not aware they are being filmed and this video took place mere minutes AFTER the pap video of him speed walking and holding her hand. How do we know? Because there was a song playing in the background and it was playing during their walk….so you tell us why a man so in love can’t hold his gfs hand for the duration of a three minute song. Also tell me why when Alba saw the camera she reached for Chris’ hand and his goes in his pocket as he LOOKS to see if his hired photographer caught that. Also as something with anxiety if I’m with a person I love and trust you better believe I’m holding their hand for support and comfort. So if he was as you say anxious than there’s a bigger issue here if he put his hand in his pocket vs reaching out for hers in his distress.

It’s not social anxiety because he was so confident when they were on the stairs, he was cool and casual even in the video I mentioned about. I have an anxiety disorder , please don’t use his anxiety as a crutch, he’s willfully in this mess, he made his bed and he shall lay in it. Chris does have anxiety I’ve seen his small gestures and coping mechanisms during red carpets and various interviews….he displayed none of that during neither pap video. He purposely looked like that, he was selling a narrative and failed.

Too much has happened since November where even those who thought this was a legit relationship have enough actual proof to question everything. If they are real, this is a toxic ass relationship and he’s dating a racist.

I also see why celebrities get away with things, they make the narrative questionable so even if things look shitty, the way the situation is presented will have you questioning your own sanity and looking at a different perspective and going….”well I can understand it this way or that”

Anon, the above isn’t in a rude or mean tone, I just type too fast and type as things come to my head. I’m frustrated at Chris but probably shouldn’t be because no one forced me to believe his image.

This entire shitshow is shit. I also thought this could be real at one point but it’s just too much obvious bs going on that I’m just like idc anymore. I’m most concerned if Chris is a lowkey racist for associating with these people.

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I think that hand video told more than it just being a video but I’ll agree to disagree. ☺️🥺Social anxiety sucks and I hope yours gets better, mine ruined my life and I feel like a failure because I feel it’s my fault and I allowed it to.

Wishing you all a great week. 🫶👋

You can clearly see on that video that he doesn't want to hold her hands. It would be weird all alone, but if we even add his anxiety and the fact that she is his lover and the person who makes him the happiest, she should make him more comfortable and less anxious. And looking at that video, she did the exact opposite, because he would rather put his hands in his pocket. It's not like she wanted to hold his hands, because the only reason she went for them was because she realized that somebody might be filming them.

I can imagine that he was anxious about this whole situation, and I guess by that time he'd realized he'd made a big mistake. However, if it wasn't because of this, he would have behaved differently with Alba.

I also think that if he wanted, he could sell this relationship. I wouldn't say he is trying, though. I don't think he is rude, but I see where you're coming from.

Anxiety is a really tricky thing, so don't blame yourself, please. You do your best, and you're trying; that's what matters ❤️

#majaloveschris #chris and alba pr #chris and alba in nyc #cevans-love

[soliyra-the-sunbringer]

Soli’s wishlist for Our Flag Means Death Season 2

Hey, so why not: I'll try typing up my ofmd s2 wishlist. Some of these are improbable and/or unpopular.  You don’t have to agree with everything, but I’ve been encouraged to share my thoughts.  OFMD Season 2 wishlist, in the order in which I thought of them just now: 1. THAT THERE BE ONE.  Things are looking very good as of May 2022 but cruel and senseless things happen all the time and nothing is assured.   2.  Re: the reunion: THAT THERE BE ONE.  Some of you have never had your onscreen kiss and love confession take an immediate hard right into bury-your-gays and it fking shows.  Furthermore the writers and actors on this show are amazing and I want to see how they do it.   3. Abshir returns!  That dude is an absolute legend.  I need to know what he and his friends got up to after 1x05  and I am dying to see Oluwande's 'investment' pay off, hopefully at a point when the crew are at their lowest.   4.  Hornberry joins the Revenge crew.  He obviously likes them (he and Stede have a 'rapport') and there is no way that man is straight.  I want to see the Brittish officer -> pirate pipeline happen in real time.  And I want to see him involved in Stede et all getting off their feet/getting a ship.   LET HIM KISS BOYS.  (Is he sleeping with Wellington?  Maybe we’ll find out!)

5. Ghosthoney joins either the Revenge crew or Blackbeard crew.  I could honestly see it working either way and either way is pure gold.  6. "You're STEDE'S Ed???"  The many people on Tumblr calling for this are right and should say so.  Every drop of Ed & Mary content gives me life, particularly the moment she finds out he and the 'Dread Pyrate Blackbeard' are the same person, regardless of how exactly that goes down.   7. Lines for Ivan (in this economy) Ok, so it looks like this one isn’t going to happen, which is tragic but it does seem to mean that there is going to be a Season 2 for Ivan to not be in, so...great??  Anyway, so the way I would deal with this is for Ivan do die in an absurdly dramatic way off-screen.  It is somehow both heroic and cool and also stupid and hilarious.  The actors can probably improv this one, idk.  But no body, no crime, and leave it just open ended enough that he can just show up down the line (in an equally absurd and ridiculous way) if something changes wrt Guz’s schedule or w/e

8.  Jemain Clement as Benjamin Hornigold.  This has been hc’d so hard by so many fans...are we sure it’s not already canon?  Pirate-hunter arc would be epic.  9.  Captain Thomas EDWARD’S.  What can I say except that historical stuff is only cool if it’s funny and/or romantic and this sh is both. 

10. Doug comes out as trans, giving us bisexual (or otherwise wlw) Mary and transfeminine rep in one fell swoop.  

11. Speaking of which: Izzy Hands tries on a dress and experiences gender euphoria for the first time, which serves as a major turning point for the character.  (Ed and Izzy are lesbians together; I don’t make the rules).  

12.  Ed kisses a girl (and likes it, a la Katie Perry).  Please I am dying for explicit bi rep in OFMD. 

13, and this is an important one: STEDE KILLS SOMEONE ON PURPOSE.   --13a. that person is a dick. --13b. and preferably a racist.  This is an important point on Stede’s white-guy journey to active anti-racism.

13.  Anne Bonny and Mary Read, obviously.  Mary is Tig Notaro but I can think of literally dozens of actors I’d like to see as Anne and they’d all be great for different reasons.  MOAR WLW

14.  My favorite actors from the last major fandom I was involved in, because why the h not, is this a wishlist or what? 

15.  Harvey Guillen as someone extremely flamboyant and completely unhinged.  He’s been the uptight, contained one on wwdits for so long.  Let that beautiful little man be ‘round, brown, and proud’ and completely bonkers.  Let him get in a knife fight with Jim.  Maybe he’s part of the Siete Gallos, maybe he’s Jim’s long lost brother, maybe he’s just some pirate, idc.  This may or may not be a Harvey Guillen stan account. 

16.  A new wig for Jim.  Or maybe just Vico’s hair?  I do not like the current wig. 

17.  CREW.  FLASHBACKS.  The people (including Samba) on multiple platforms who are calling for this are right and should say so. 

18.  Geraldo appears in flashbacks.  He is an underrated character and Fred Armisen is delightful.  I said what I said. 

18.  STEARD NATION.  Murray Hewitt was a LOOK and I would like to see more, ty. 

19.  We all know that Lucius is alive, but have you consider that his life was somehow saved by the wooden finger, AKA the power of ~love~? 

20.  The people calling for Rory Kinnear to return as increasingly distant members of the Badminton family who all, improbably, look exactly like Rory Kinnear are right and should say so.  But male family members only; we will not be doing the ‘man in a dress’ trope on OFMD. 

21.  SHOW US THE TALENT SHOW YOU COWARDS.  The people calling for this ar-- you get the idea.  

22.  (can’t believe I almost forgot this one) Gnossienne 5 played on an unlikely instrument like electric guitar or something. 

23.  GIVE FANG A DOG.  Another popular one that is also empirically correct. 

24.  Explicit ace rep.  I don’t really care who but bonus if it’s someone we already know. 

25.  One time I read a post somewhere that said s2 should start with Stede standing in his dinghy with his hand upraised and he sees the crew and they see him and he is immediately hit in the face by the red silk and.  Yes.  That.  I agree.  that’s all I can think of for now, except for the general idea of ‘boys kissing,’ which really should be a given but, again, the world is cruel and senseless and we can take nothing for granted. 

#ofmd #our flag means death #our flag means gay #ofmd season 2 wishlist #soliyra #wall of text #actually I think I'm just so so but I've decided to carry myself like I'm funny #spoilers #ofmd spoilers

[swugflower]

Fuuuuuuck I can’t do this anymore.

I’m losing it completely. I’m doing so unwell mentally and physically and I feel so completely alone.

I had a normal damn flu like two weeks or three ago and now I’m just completely exhausted still. It’s probably post/long covid. Also I have gagging fits like constantly. I’m not feeling sick but I just have to cough and gag and it’s exhausting and makes me sweaty and weak every time.

And I was at my doc twice in two weeks and last time they checked my heart and did my blood and then straight up threw me out of the practice and didn’t contact me anymore.

Now I have decided that I’m too exhausted to work and need to be written sick and called again and the lady told me something that wasn’t true (lady I’ve been a patience of the doc for like 10 years and before that I was by her brother and father, you work there for like 4 months and idc if I sound like a Karen it’s true and I’m too exhausted) and then told me I’m not an emergency and I can come in like November which,,,, okay cool. Guess I’ll die. But at least I’ll stick get written sick.

All that of course gave a hit to my already bad mental health.

I managed to dive head first into a depressive episode with a frankly disgusting amount of nihilism mixed into (ignoring all youe feelings for months by constantly saying to myself that I don’t matter and no one cares about my feelings does that, apperently)

And I can’t stomach my families Problems atm and there are lots of them!

My mom would have needed therapy all her life and is straight up refusing to do it. Now after the death of her mum it has gotten worse and with her coming move and the selling of granny’s house it has gotten way way worse and now her step mum and dad are also not doing well and she’s completely losing it.

And I can’t take it. It’s grinding me down.

And then on Friday on top of all that my therapist decided that to talk about THE ONE topic I don’t like talking about. There is really just ONE and she made me talk about it the whole session.

And then on Saturday my alcoholic dad decided to get so drunk that he can’t open the front door anymore and needed me to let him into the house.

And while all that I’m shaking and exhausted and gagging and my chest hurts and I can’t breath

I don’t fucking know anymore where my mental problems end and my health problems staet. It’s a ducking mess

And I’m ANGRY. I’m LIVID

I can’t talk to anyone or I’ll explode

And I feel so completely alone and don’t know what to do and I know that I’ll get through it cause I’ve done it before but MANNNNN

[smouldring]

5, 6, 13

meme for roleplay muns.

5. What is a character you love, but don’t think you can write?

i love marika but if i tried to write her i would explode. i would spend my full time being like. i hate her. i hate her. i hate her and she is evil. and while it would be immensely fun to dig into the complexities of the Omnipotent Girly ( because she’s not just evil ) i think the cost to my psyche would be too great.

6. Name 3 things you love most about your muse/muses.

uhh i love that i was able to slot merri so neatly into the lore without breaking anything. i love that she holds grudges and makes snap judgments and flips out from time to time. i love that she is a lesbian. and i know i’m harping on the Girl thing a lot but please understand that i was terrified to roleplay a woman on tumblr for. like. a decade. and more terrified to make her gay because i was like. no male character will come here unless it’s to ship and i’ll be done for in terms of consistent interaction. but that didn’t happen and i’m so pleased.

13. Is there one trope you can’t stand?

‘my character is just sitting staring at the sky waiting for someone to approach them’ they’d better not be. and like. can this be done from time to time? yes of course. but if i have to spend my first reply on every thread being like HI. HELLO. I AM APPROACHING INSTEAD OF RUNNING AWAY I AM COMING RIGHT TO YOU. i will cry. i will hello you once and the next time i must insist that you have something to say to the girly. it doesn’t even have to be with your mouth you can like. do a little dance. throw shit at her. idc. merri is developing a complex. for just a ‘how are you’ or ‘i didn’t see you there’ a day, you can save her from thinking she’s the only bitch who knows how to greet someone. this does NOT apply if we’ve already plotted out merri dropping on your character from the sky. that does not give her complexes and is in fact enrichment.

#astoranexemplar #✢ out of flasks ( ooc. )

[hoitsbetty]

#i’ll make one of these every time she does something idc #taylor swift #the lakes

[hakkais-hoe]

Love your aggressive s/o x Bonten headcanons lol

If possible can we get a version where they find out the only freaking reason she's so aggressive is because she's literally hungry and sleepy... Like all the time? Like she'd need food in her hand 24/7 and constantly eating something (or napping) in order to not go off on someone for breathing wrong for more than an hour lol (you can ignore this if you'd like idc I just think it's hilarious to see them with what's essentially the equivalent to a pissed and grouchy cat lol)

Bonten x reader with hanger issues n a food complex.

'm glad ya liked em :)

love this idea too

Warnings: swearing, blood, fighting, gun references, drug reference (sanzu ofc).

Bonten: Mikey, Sanzu, Koko, Ran, Rindo, Kaku.

Mikey-

finds you rummaging through your bag after a fight

after you come back with nothing from it and a sour look on your face he cant help but ask

"What's up with you now?"

notices your similar to him after he hasn't had a snack for a while

if you ignore he'll leave you to your little tantrum as usual

after a long bonten meeting you're sat drifting off in your chair when someone bursts through the door

you do one of those freaky slow look ups a glare as cold as ice on your face

"You're really gonna come shouting in here n wake me up you fucker?! I'm fucking tired and hungry af n you have the balls to do this shit. I'm gonna cave ya head in dickhead."

'oh' Mikey knows exactly what the problem is now

he grabs a dorayaki out of his stash n throws it to you

you grumble a bit before going silent and munching on the treat

promptly moving to a couch and taking a nap

from then on Mikey keeps extra snacks for the both of you and you take regular naps in his office, sometimes with him.

your aggressive little attitude seems to get a lot better which keeps the rest of the executives calm.

Sanzu-

tbh i don't think he'll realise, he likes it when you're a bit psycho n that

takes Takeomi or Mochi telling him that you seem calmer when you have snacks for him to realise

straight up asks you

"Soooo you got like a food complex or something babe? Cos I get it I get antsy when I don't have a pill for a while, I can get those food supplement drugs if ya want love."

like boy no who tf wants ur shitty drugs

"I want snacks motherfucker not some boring ass supplements, actual food n several naps a day."

our boy only gets it when you spell it out n will buy you all the snacks n food you want

also keeps a blanket n pillow in his office so you can take a nap with him

watches you sleep like a creep can't lie

whips random snacks out when you get n attitude during meetings

loves it when you have a little anger tantrum cos you wanna nap n lets you drag him down onto the couch to use him as a pillow

probably can't sleep cos of the drugs but good effort

"Think you should take a chill pill on the drugs, love."

"Which one's that is it in my bottle? Is it a downer? They're boring baby."

sir you have a problem >_>

Kakucho-

chances are he already clocked it after the first few times he saw you beat a bitch then walk straight into a shop n buy snacks

wont actually mention it he just makes you take scheduled naps under the pretence that he needs one

will gently massage your kneecaps during meetings when you start to get grumpy

pulls random snacks and drinks out of his pockets

tries to keep you calm all the time

practically throws a blanket at you when you get ratty

will bundle you up even in meetings n make you take a nap on his lap

human burrito

very devoted to looking after you

will let you fight when you're really angry but prefers to keep you as docile as he can

"Love, enough. C'mon come sit down wit me and have a snack leave that piece of shit there."

ur surprisingly obedient when he's waving your favourite snack at you

Kokonoi

honestly he just thinks you're a bit nuts plus you spend too much time with sanzu according to him

most of the time he just lets you do your thing n he doesn't get involved

only realises that there's something odd when the Bonten executives plus the boss go out for a meal after a meeting

you're silent for once n you even seem calm as you practically bounce in your seat with all the food in front of you

once he realises that you're a lot calmer with food he offers you his

will send someone to buy snacks as soon as he sees a hit of aggression coming from you

you fall asleep on his shoulder later in the evening

Koko adjusts you slightly to keep you comfortable

hears your light muttering about nonsense

he ignores the conversation that all the executives are having in favour of listening to you sleep talk

he can make out your quiet words at some points which cause him to chuckle

until you mutter about how much you love him

an unusually soft smile on the both of your faces is there until late into the night

tries to make you take naps often after that just so he can listen to you sleep talk

feeds your grumpy self often he orders some expensive snacks just to see your reaction.

Rindo-

if you think this cocky shit would ever question your angry self you have another thing coming

he enjoys watching you beat the living daylight out of anyone

coincidentally brings you some snacks during a meeting one day

usually you'd be snapping and threatening to fight sanzu by now but you're silent for once

he stops listening to Kaku's report to observe you n notices that you're only silent cos ur stuffing snacks in you mouth

"Uh babe? Did you actually just calm down cos I brought you food? If I'd known it was that easy I woulda brought you a whole ass shop."

"Mhm buy me a whole convenience shop n I'll marry you."

the boy definitely does a Koko n buys you way too much to keep in his office and your apartment

please let him pamper you

he realises that he enjoys your happy food enjoying self more than the little psycho you usually are

comes into every meeting with food

when you sleep on his office couch n wake up even calmer than with food he encourages you to sleep more

buys an expensive ass weighted blanket for his office

bless him he heard that they keep people calm from Ran

sometimes sits at the couch reading paperwork with your head on his lap

strokes your hair to help you sleep better

"Love ya Rin..."

your sleep talk is his favourite thing

Ran-

already knew

this man is very aware of everything you do

he may seem lackadaisical but he knows everything that you like and everything that keeps you calm

he plays it off as a coincidence that he started bringing snacks 3 weeks after you started

when he figures out your favourite he keeps them in his office 24/7

also like Rin he has a giant weighted blanket in a cabinet for you

has it out as soon as you come into his office

leaves it so that you can wrap yourself up in it when you're both going through paperwork

you ofc inevitably fall asleep in it

your boyfriend gets you all comfy and lays down with you for a quick nap

he wakes up wot you gently brushing his now messed up hair away from his face

you seem gentle and calm for once as you smile down at him

"Hi handsome. Did you have a nice nap?"

he's shocked ngl

falls in love with you all over again

"You look like an angel my love."

pampers you and makes you sleep a lot in his office just so you can wake up and be calm with him

he wants all your calm attention

will still cheer you on when you have a "tantrum" as Rin calls them

#bonten x reader #bonten #mikey x reader #mikey sano #bonten mikey #koko x reader #bonten kokonoi #kokonoi hajime #kokonoi x reader #sanzu x y/n #sanzu haruchiyo #sanzu x reader #bonten sanzu #kakucho #kakucho hitto #kakucho x reader #bonten kakucho #kaku x reader #haitani ran #haitani ran x reader #ran x reader #bonten ran #haitani brothers #rindou haitani #rindo headcanons #rindo x reader #rindou x reader #tokyo revengers #tokyorev x reader #bonten x you