#i’m a bigger person myself

[spillsways]

spillways really is THAT song for me. like the whole “fuck forgiveness let yourself be bitter and you’re allowed to feel that way AND it’s okay to be angry and even though you try to bury that shit deep inside of you and move on IT’S OKAY TO LET IT OUT and be PISSED” vibe of the song hits directly home. that shit really does just resonate so much with my trauma

#at least that’s how i interpret the song for myself #i could be wrong but idk #it hits me right in the mommy and daddy issues #bc i try so hard to be the bigger person even though they’ve hurt me and traumatized me in indescribable ways #and that anger and utter resentment will never leave my soul #but i will never ever forgive them #and i’m okay with that #bc fuck forgiving your abusers to ‘move on’ #i don’t play that game #sometimes you can’t forgive people for the things they’ve done #even your family #bayli rambles #the band ghost #ghost #spillways #papa emeritus iv #copia

[fuckyeah-bears]

I may not always succeed but I really do try my best to be a kind, compassionate person and put more kindness and positivity into the world than negativity

#going through some personal shit in real life at the mo #and just trying to remind myself to stay kind #even when people let me down #Even when they treat me badly #I don’t want to be the bigger person #but kindness in the face of ignorance and asshole dickheaded dickery is it’s own victory #I have to remind myself that #every time I lose my patience and just want to scream and tell People they suck #But I don’t want to let them take my kindness and love from me #y’all can ignore me I’m just trying to remind myself why I don’t want to respond to something shitty in real life in kind #Delete later

[wundrousarts]

Mini Silverborn Countdown

If you’ve been around for a few years, you’ve seen me vaguely mention a “Silverborn Countdown Challenge” several times. It’s been delayed and changed as many times as the book itself, lol.

If anyone wants sort of a low-stakes, very chill and spaced out version of this ye olde never tackled challenge to complete in the next year before Silverborn, I propose what I’m doing:

Every 3 months leading up to the initial release, I am creating one thing based on each of the books.

January — Nevermoor

April — Wundersmith

July — Hollowpox

#nevermoor #nevermoor fanart #nevermoor fanfic #silverborn #silverborn countdown challenge #thank you theo for reminding me to post abt this on here. I am stealing the “mini” moniker (?) in return. lol. #this was in my drafts and I forgot to post it. happens a lot lol. #anyways if you’re reading this happy new years ! #nine masterpost ver 1.0 dropping tomorrow evening prob bc I have had a headache all day and that’s the next time I’m free #now time to sleep. zzzzzz. perhaps I’ll have a prophetic silverborn dream. who knows. #I love giving myself set times to draw nevermoor things or just think about the series bc otherwise I go insane #literally thinking abt this stuff 24/7 it’s all I want to draw. But then I have to hold myself back + then end up never drawing anything lol #I have three big things planned for this like big pieces to work on over awhile and get myself out of my comfort zone #but idk what to draw for this first one. aahhhhh. excited for wundersmith and hollowpox though. #also I want to do a little animation for nevermoorian new years. which is on a leap day this year! how fun!! #I have an eternal nevermoor to-draw list that only gets bigger #sorry to the person that requested some Christmas stuff last year. I missed out and was gonna do it this year. then no time. so next year? 😅 #also 🏆 to anyone that ever reads my ramblings in my tags. I am so insane about nevermoor especially. <333

[starteas]

do what you want forever actually. just because more people have eyes on you doesn't make you less human. I think you should be kinder on yourself and remember that you aren't just here to make content: you're a complex individual with a lot of thoughts on things and you shouldn't be afraid to share them out of fear of backlash. and if you ever feel like "maybe I shouldn't say something?", take a step back, deep breath, and ask yourself why. Please take your time and remember that you are loved and appreciated, and that those are the people who should matter most to you. not meaningless hate from people who don't even totally understand what they're defending. now go have a spectacular day, I was possessed to write this

Thank you so much. That means a lot. 🥲

#I’m gonna be totally honest sometimes I forget I’m a person #because my following has grown so much over the years it’s hard for me to see myself as anything but thre creator of Lumi #like it’s a title I love and I’m very happy to hold #but it’s also just… difficult in a way #seeing people see me as a huge inspiration is cool and really sweet #but it’s also very scary #i feel like I have to be a huge example for other folks out there #and if I mess up or write something regarding an opinion it has a bigger impact than I’d realize it to be #as someone who’s trying to break into the animation industry it’s. a lot. for sure #i constantly worry about messing up and not doing things properly #but seeing this was a great reminder that I am after all just a person. I’m complex and flawed and no less human #so thank you for this genuinely #it means more than you could ever know #Evan bleats #anonymous

[dol-dee]

Hm I would love to continue Dee's dol journey and play it more but I feel like I’m starting to run out of stuff

#atm I’m mostly thinking about it and not really playing it much anymore #i know there’s still a lot I haven’t done but I hadn’t expected that the content for the LIs would run out so quickly #now tbf I still have Kylar to explore but I’m just not that I to them so their whole.. thing (gestures vaguely) will happen when it happens #actually I’m being unfair I only mean Sydney when I say that #..and Avery #cause I know you can basically romance everyone without consequences but: #i ​wont ever romance Robin bc I’d like to uphold that personal moral for Dee #Kylar will happen when it happens but I unfortunately didn’t click with them as much as I had hoped #Eden didn’t do much for me < also unfortunately and unexpectedly #im kinda working on Alex but imma be honest the whole farm/wren thing is really tedious #although I’m slowly working on it #and then Whitney…. I’m tempted but also my petty ass doesn’t want to let them win #plus i feel like it would be somewhat ooc for Dee #yeh she doesn’t hate him as much anymore bc there’s bigger fish to deal with now but he hasn’t really changed his behavior at all #again I would be on Whitney if I could retaliate and not let myself be dragged around like a chew toy #dol rambles #ah i forgor the woods and the hawk. so I’ve tried the wolves in one run it was okay but the ongoing 10+ wolf sex encounters tire me out #<not like that

[thefleshyougoveggie]

no bc the struggle of balancing getting a lot of study done and getting enough rest and stuff is so real

#i have a huge test in like one and a half week #and i’m studying soo much #but i don’t wanna overwork myself either #but i HAVE to study #and uni applications are due like two days after #i mean i don’t have to do a lot just choose which programmes i wanna apply for and i’ve already put in a few #but the lists gotta get bigger and i’m like aaaaaaaah #it’s stressful #but oh well #after that it’ll be… a bit less stressful #atlas the thinker #personal

[justanotherfanartist]

nothing more freeing than being attracted to midsize and fat men. sigh

#I’ve gone from little cis girl obsessed with fake muscle skinny guys #because that was all I really saw in media deemed ’attractive’ #and I didn’t know any better about myself to realize I wasn’t actually super into that and I just went with it #to now being wholeheartedly happy with experiencing attraction to someone’s character and themselves as a person #and also realizing holy shit so many bodies are attractive it’s kinda insane #like legit idk what it is about ‘realistic average’ or midsize wtv guys but like yeah okay get it yknow #visible tummy through shirt I’m obsessed. bigger arms bigger thighs awooga amirght boys #this is entirely because I’ve been watching Smosh and Game Changer clips for like three hours straight #if you want a better idea of the body type I’m describing think Damian Haas / Shane Topp / Brennan Lee Mulligan

[tohokuu]

my girl advice is so nicki minaj coded and these bitches don’t like it 😒

BASICALLY- i said this

tw : suicide mention

AND THEY GOT MAD

“money isn’t everything” yes it is 😟 i know that bc look at the way i run to these gojo/toji sugar daddy fics 💀💀💀

idc if he’s toxic as fuck as long as i get the key to the benz and a birkin. why? bc i’m toxic too 💀

“baby i’ll kill myself if you leave.” “okay then do it” WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW ???

boohoo, baby. gimme the keys.

and the whole argument about “if he has a good character and no money, i’d stay with him rather than a rich asshole.” i want the rich asshole. how the fuck are you gonna survive ????

“i don’t need expensive trips and expensive restaurants.” huh- well i do 🤣

OH AND- if he’s giving you that BLUE BOX THAT SAY TIFFANY but he’s toxic as fuck, i know id be running back 😭😭 i am willing to get stuck in that cycle of this shitty man who spoils me so good. like yeah baby, i’ll leave unless you buy me that purse.

i’ve had my experience with a broke nice guy and lemme tell you- it’s NOT it. i tried to go for personality and kept telling myself that him being broke wasn’t that bad BUT IT IS 😃 i wasted 5 months of my life like that.

smd if you disagree bro 😭 mmm i’m probably much less compassionate but i know i don’t deserve any less 😹 and if you come in my inbox abt this suck my fat brown balls bitch

#BROKE PPL SHOULD NEVER LAUGH ‼️‼️‼️ #also someone told me i’m a great friend #but a horrible girlfriend 😭😭 #i had this conversation w my bestfriend a few days ago and she was like #bro you’re a horrible person and you should not be dating until you’re actively attending therapy #and i was like 🧍🏽‍♀️ and she said that i end up damaging the other person and myself and then ignore the damage i did to myself and pretend #didn’t happen LMDOAKE but then someone else told me that i’m actually a very comforting friend #like as a friend i’m a great person bc i five the best advice on how to value #yourself and not fall for a man’s bullshit #LIKE IVE DATED ENOUGH TOXIC MEN TO BE HANDING OUT ADVICE NOW and if you don’t like my advice DONT COME CRYING TO ME BC ILL SLAP YOU #but like i’ll help you out after i slap you 🙄 #like im just that bitch I WILL NEVER PUT A MAN ABOVE A WOMAN #friends are so so much more important than stupid boyfriends and i think that’s why im a better friend than a girlfriend #trust me- i used to be a great girlfriend until i got my heart put thru a #meat grinder and then i didn’t find it in myself to put my heart out like that again #i actively bitch men out and i don’t fucking feel bad #i hardly even date nice guys before you get on me abt that 💀 #all the bozos i go for are dickheads and i’m a bigger dickhead #this turned into a rant

[genderqueer-karma]

i need his “woe is me” shit cut right now i can’t do this. like……… sorry your life sucked or whatever but you still did all that evil ass stuff man (with intention, mind you). idk what to tell ya 🤷‍♀️

#yo it's d :) #thats right im mdzs posting at 1 am #also guys did you know this website doesnt allow videos to be added in rbs #wild shit to find out. anyway: #like i’m not even a ‘be the bigger person’ kinda guy myself #but if you really think about it #getting revenge on your brother for shit y’all’s collective bum ass daddy did won’t solve anything #if you’re so smart why not use your brain. damn.

[jagermancoded]

#i’m actually not okay #HER VOICE BREAKING #the bigger person shouldn’t have to be the kid #NOOO ELENA #throwing myself off a cliff #odaat #one day at a time #elena alvarez

[sapphos-tooth]

of course my mom is trying to guilt me into staying, by using her tears 😑

#.txt #i don’t care anymore #this has been my whole life #she cries and i have to take the abuse because i have to be the bigger person #i’m done doing that #i refuse to sacrifice my mental health and sanity for others #i am no longer being the ‘bigger person’ #i am not keeping the peace to please others and make them comfortable #this is just a big middle finger to me and my healing path #i WANT to heal and she won’t let with keeping me in this house #and not letting me break this cycle of toxicity #i want to finally be free #i wanna stop being in survival mode #i want to be able to feel safe in my OWN space #i want to be able to love myself #i want to heal and possibly be a mother #i don’t want my child to suffer like me #no child deserves that #i didn’t deserve it #this should’ve never been okay #why was i not protected when i was supposed to be #i deserve a healthy and safe environment/life

[fakeoutbf]

.

#food tw #body image tw #hi i feel like this whole week has been a lot and it’s culminated today in me having an anxiety attack over my body #so i thought i’d just let some feelings out please feel free to just skip over this #logically i know that my body and what it looks like isn’t representative of my value as a person #i completely get that and i know that the thought is insane #but growing up with the specific model of being skinny and pretty so ppl find you attractive / appealing is so hard to unlearn some days #this is the heaviest weight i’ve been in my life probably and it isn’t even that much but it just means my body looks different #which makes it fit and look differently in clothes i used to take comfort in #and sure i’ve gotten bigger sizes and it’s no big deal but my brain chose today to hyperfixate on the fact that my love handles are bigger #and create this dip in my hips that didn’t use to be there and now i’m panicking over eating so much bread and carbs and not working out and #winter season coming up and all the carb rich food endorsed during that time and my mom craving more sweets and offering me as well #and IT SHOULDN’T FUCKING MATTER but for YEARS one of the only things i had ‘control’ over was my weight #and now that everything else has gone to shit i can’t get myself to have control over this thing and it’s making me feel even worse #and then i think of eating better but it just seems so hard when i have no motivation to actually make myself healthier meals and i just #i’m stuck in a standstill of wanting to get better but my brain shutting down and being exhausted after work and idk what to do #i know i need to be kinder on myself but also i want to change but idk where or how to start #i know i have to do it alone but fuck everything is so much scarier alone

[badolmen]

What was I complaining about I love academic writing :3 <- is transcribing methods in an autistic way

#ra speaks #personal #methodology is fun bc autism brain can explicitly and clearly explain in detail how To Do The Thing it’s very nice #it does help that I wrote a physical methods Bible for myself as I experimented/did field work/etc. so I’m basically just copying that into #my proposal document but in bigger more professional sentences without my shorthand or notes.