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#i’m a drama queen sometimes but this happens way too often….it just makes me feel so down
foreheadkiss3s · 3 months
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tate langdon x gn! reader.
trigger warnings : really sad thoughts going through the readers mind. i let my drama queen take over and everything came out too dramatic.
angst/ fluff at the end if you squint your eyes really hard.
this is so messy, really, it’s just a drabble i wanted to put out but i think i’ll probs end up deleting it since i feel like it’s cringey. also, english is not my first language so whatever (and wherever) mistake you might find, please bear with me.
I know it might be confusing, or even worse, not make sense at all. but i just let my messy thoughts flow and that’s the result.
just to get things a bit more clear, tate is still alive and dealing with his situation back home while reader is the only friend he managed to make in high school. the reader was at the house, not the murder house ( let’s just assume the reader’s house it’s near that ) and tate just presented himself there after the reader became distant with him.
« I’m sorry. »
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You know about those days, when you wake up and your eyes reflexively land on the window? And then they wander up, and get to notice the soft hue of the blue sky, lightened up by the sun? And it’s almost as if you could feel the warmth of the sun rays seeping through your window?
Perhaps it’s the warmth of the covers, the cozy feeling that you get every time when you just wake up and that later on makes you whine because you know you’ll have to leave that warm place soon to get up and get ready for school. But it’s almost as if you had a restart.
For five minutes— sometimes even less, it depends on how much it takes your brain to process the world outside of your mind again— you get to feel like you’ve just been reborn, and that everything would be alright.
But then it all comes crumbling down.
Your brain registers where you are, the reality you live, and the obnoxious routine you have to do everyday. Get up. Brush your teeth and hair. Skip breakfast because you’re always late. Get dressed. Go to school. Wish to get home during and in between classes. Get finally home, but then you get frustrated because it’s always the same damn thing.
You don’t know what it is that frustrates you, that angers you so much and sometimes even makes you cry. That drains you, leaving you so exhausted that you end up falling asleep only to wake up the next morning and experience the same thing again.
Perhaps, you think, that you’re crazy. Maybe you’re spiralling out of reality. Maybe you’re just being an ungrateful teenager. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
Maybe you just want to sleep forever.
But, when you think you can’t take it no more, here comes Tate.
Sometimes you think he’s weird. Not in a bad way, you think he’s just.. weird. He’s one of the most pessimistic people you know, always looking down on the human specie and labelling it as some sort of stupid being. Yet, when it comes to the state you’re slowly falling in, he seems to suck it out of you.
You don’t know how to explain it properly— you don’t even understand it yourself, but it’s almost as if he is a sponge. Just by staying near you, he sucks all the darkness away. He’s like a black hole, but instead of absorbing everything he just absorbs your darkness. Or perhaps he’s just a little hypocrite that doesn’t allow you to be pessimistic just like he is.
Even though you know.. you know that referring to Tate as pessimistic is the least you could call him.
You hate it when he gets clingy, and that happens very often. Who are you kidding? it always happens, hence why you always resort to unkind ways to get him to leave you. You just want to be alone sometimes.
Tate might argue with you and say that it’s more than sometimes, it’s always.
You’re not a good person, you know that. You’re selfish and you don’t care who you’re hurting when it comes to you and the decisions you make.
You didn’t care when you started hanging out with a boy and spent less and less time with Tate. Why did you do it though? You still question yourself.
Yeah, he might be clingy, attached to your hip, dependant on you and the list could go on just like that. But he was the only one that showed you how much you mean, or perhaps, how much you could mean to somebody.
You never thought it possible that a being could be so much for another being.
Tate is your only friend. Even though you’re not sure of that anymore since all you did for the past few weeks—maybe month, was avoiding and ignoring him.
At the beginning it was just to get a little time alone. But then it started becoming more of an avoidance, and now? You thought you were avoiding him out of shame.
But he was your only friend, and you pushed him away for what? To test if you could feel something different than the void you were currently drowning in? How could you have been that selfish?
His eyes seem to be asking you the same questions as he stares deep down inside your soul. His kaleidoscope honeyed eyes.
« I’ll.. » a sob breaks his voice, and his attempt to hold back his tears fails, making the tears break through and fall down his cheeks like diamonds, «.. I’ll leave never bother you again if that’s what you want »
For the first time in weeks you feel something so authentically powerful that it almost knocks the breath out of your lungs.
You’re sat there, on your messy, still unmade, bed as you’re looking into his eyes. And he stares back at you almost as if he has already been there, in that position— unwanted and thrown to the side, times and times before. But still it causes him pain.
It’s a subtle but yet stinging feeling. Like a cut being slit open again by a sharp dagger with its blade covered in salt. It’s a swift movement, a methodical cut, because it always seems to be hurting in the same spot.
You don’t say anything.
« You’re just like her. » Constance. Tears stream down his face like pouring rain. His voice taking the resemblance of a wave as sometimes it gets higher and other times it comes crashing down, stopping abruptly to let his tears fall down silently.
Just like rain in the ocean.
Silence fills the room yet again.
« Please.. p-please.. » How come that he’s the one begging you and not the other way around? What is he pleading for?
You frown looking at him, still staring into his eyes like a stone cold bitch. And you might’ve even been one to someone else’s eyes. But not to his.
You were just as hurt and lost as he was.
He got down on his knees, sliding on them on the carpeted floor until he was by your legs, as you were still sitting down on your bed. He sobbed and sniffled as he got in between your legs and let his head slowly come down to rest on your lap. «..d-don’t leave me.
you’re the only thing I have left.. y-you don’t have to do anything just.. p-please.. please I need you. You’re everything to me.. I-I’m.. I.. »
How could you have let everything spin out of control?
You were sorry.
You were so sorry.
Your vision became so blurry, almost as if a plastic wall was swiftly building itself up on your eyes, until it broke down and you felt warm droplets of water strike your cheeks. You were sorry as you could see the hurting boy sobbing on your lap because of your selfish behaviour.
You didn’t know what had happened to you to get you to this point, to hurt mindlessly like that the only person that cared about you. But you knew you were sorry and you wanted to wipe everything you did away.
Your hand, slowly, made its way on his head covered by the soft honeyed hair. You let your fingers slip and comb through the strands of his hair while you finally felt something.
« I’m sorry. » a broken whisper left your mouth.
just wanted to apologize again as i’m sure it came out more cringy than anything, but if you have some advice to give me please feel free to leave a comment ( or just straight up tell me to stop writing and never do it again 🤪 ).
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nonclassyparty · 2 years
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Starring Role- ACT I (C.S; S.MG)
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title; you don’t love me, big fuckin’ deal
summary:
We’ve all read about the infamous player who falls in love with the good girl that manages to make him change his ways…but what happens to the other girl? The pretty, popular one that has warmed his bed before the good girl came along and took him away.
Well, no one cares about her. After all, she’s just a side character.
It almost feels like a joke to play a part, when you are not the starring role in someone else’s heart.
pairing: choi san x reader, song mingi x reader
wc: almost 9k
warnings: smut, angst, fluff (if you squint), cursing
a/n: y/n has a really active imagination so there are some parts that might seem weird or make you confused lmao
taglist: @joonsthethicc @marievllr-abg @cookiechristie @purenjuniverse  @hwaist @littleparkseonghwa @hwasong @hwadump @hongshines @kitty4hwa @knisterlicht @flamingi @revehosh @gayliljoong @naiify     @btshook @atzcoke  @circusjanreblogs @baguette-atiny​ 
the intro / masterlist / act ii
“Because what’s worse than knowing you want something, besides knowing you can never have it?” - James Patterson, The Angel Experiment
You stared at the ceiling of your bedroom, tracing patterns with your eyes that strangely reminded you of planet Earth getting blown to tiny bits and pieces across your ceiling, the oceans dripping down your walls and the lava from it's center splattering across your furniture and burning holes through the expensive cushions your mother placed on your window seat.
You vaguely felt like the world was coming to an end today.
Okay, so that might've been a tad bit dramatic but you wouldn't be you, if you lacked your knack to blow things out of proportion. Your brother often called you a drama queen and if you were still on good terms with him, you may have agreed but ever since your last little spat in the kitchen- Seonghwa could argue that the grass is green and you would be calling it blue just to spite him despite knowing he's obviously in the right.
But back to the end of the world.
There should be an introduction of some sort for the biggest cause of all your current ordeals. And that cause goes by the simple name of Choi San.
You met him at your first ever college party in your freshman year and, for reasons you don't wish to discuss right now, you both ended at an empty balcony of a frat house sharing a cigarette.
You were too frazzled by previous events at first to even notice how handsome Choi San is.
It's when you've successfully calmed down, half of the cigarette gone, that you notice his magnetic eyes that pulled you in and dimples that decorated his cheeks when he smiled.
"I study electrical engineering." He responds to your question of what he majored in. "I'm a third year."
Two years older than you. You were always into older guys.
"You?" San asks with a soft smile, eyes attentively glazing over you. The air is surprising chilly for an August night.
"I'm an art major." You respond, hands stopping their shaking finally as you finally relax.
"Cool. First year?" He asks, taking the cigarette from your hand and taking a drag himself. You watch his lips part as he breathes out the smoke.
"Yeah."
"Do you paint or?" San asks, head cocking to the side as he flicks the ashes off the cigarette.
"I mostly focus on painting, yeah, but I do other stuff as well."
"Hm, that's interesting. I'd like to see some of your art sometime, if you'd allow that." He comments confidently and your cheeks pathetically flush.
You watch him for a second longer and it's then that you realize that you want this guy to be yours.  You don't know anything about him but you want to. You want to know him inside out. You want him. Just like that.
He was handsome. He was sweet. He was intelligent. And he had to be yours. It was all it took for you to get your act together and stop being so squirmy and shaken up.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" San chokes out a laugh at the sudden question and you smile as well, knowing how forward that was even for you.
"No." He shakes his head with another pretty laugh. It's such a light and soft sound that makes your insides flutter. He's single. "Why do you ask, Y/N?"
"Just curious." You shrug with a faint smirk but you both know it's more than that. You confirm it by asking the next question. "Are you looking for a girlfriend then?"
San's smile widens and it makes his dimples pop and eyes crinkle and holy fuck, he has freckles on his neck and he's looking at you so playfully that it makes excitement pulse through your veins.
"Are you volunteering?" He counters your question with an eyebrow raised and smile still intact. You bite your lip, looking away for a moment to stop the smile from appearing on your face.
"Maybe I'm just asking for a friend." You say, feigning disinterest that makes him chuckle. You smile sheepishly, a giggle bubbling out of you.
San hands you back the cigarette, watching you take a drag and then skimming you up and down. His tongue swipes over his lower lip as his eyes stay on your short mini skirt barely covering your thighs for a second too long.
"Well, maybe you should give me your number. You know, so I can text you when I start looking for a girlfriend and you can let your friend know."
And that you do. You give him your phone number with a flirty smile and the smile he gives you back stays in your mind for the rest of the night.
It started innocently, you'd see him around campus after that party and he would throw you that irresistible smirk that makes his dimples pop with a "hey, Y/N" uttered in his mellow voice. His fingers brushing your waist enough so it would seem accidental but drag the point across that he was trying to get your attention as he passed you by. They were simple incidents, sneaky gestures that you couldn't even call flirting properly but it's how he was slowly pulling you into his web. Soon enough, you were seeking him out on your own, waiting and wondering if today would be the day that something would actually happen.
In the end, as always, you had to take matters into your own hands.
A month passed since you met him and San still hadn't made a proper move on you by then- you were impatient, horny and extremely curious about him.
And you're not the type to sit around and wait, if Choi San wasn't planning on coming to you- then you would go to him.
He worked at a mechanic repair shop near campus and no, that wasn't information you stalked out of him. San mentioned it at the party during your brief conversation. 'It's hard work, but I learn a lot and the pay is good', he had said with a charming smile.
The shop is easy to find, true to what San said, it's just a ten minute drive off campus. There's a boy with bright red hair sitting in front of the shop when you park your car and get out, your heeled boots clicking against the pavement making his attention turn to you.
He looks young with big eyes and round cheeks, oddly reminding you of a teddy bear.
The boy has a cigarette stuck mid-air in his hand as he watches you with his jaw slightly agape, carefully following the swish of your short skirt. You glance at him with a dazzling smile.
"Hi." You greet him simply, passing by and he simply stares with round eyes and parted lips after you, mind too bamboozled to come up with anything to say. You enter the darker, stuffy space that smelled like oil and whatever else they used in these macho, no-women allowed places. You wouldn't know.
There are posters and calendars of naked women on the walls and music is playing from the old radio. Shelves with random tools are littering the walls and a small door with 'office' on it is smacked in the middle of the main space.
Locating San is easier than you thought because it seemed like only him and the red haired guy were here today. You find him under the hood of some car, arms flexing as he uses his little tools to fix whatever needed to be fixed, you presume.
"Hey." You greet softly, lips pulling into a small smile as you walk further into the space and near him.
San's head whips towards you with furrowed brows. He looks utterly confused by your appearance but nonetheless, a smile pulls on his plush lips as he straightens out his tall frame to look at you properly, gaze roaming over your cropped sweater, short plaid skirt and down your legs that sported leather boots which reached your knees.
"Y/N." He responds, licking his lips as he stares at you for a second longer. "Hey."
You clear your throat, his gaze making you feel hot all over as you turn your attention to something else.
"That's a nice...car." You have no idea what kind of car it is. To you, it's just a car. A red car, at that. You were never interested in them, if you were honest. It was only important that the car was able to take you from one place to the other, the brand or year or whatever didn't matter at all to you.
San's chuckle rings through the dimmed space and you circle around him, trying to seem unbothered when you were in fact, a little bit embarrassed to not knowing anything about cars.
"Do you have a car that would require any of my services, princess?" He asks, going back to his work below the hood of the car as you stand by the side, careful not to lean on the wall or brush up against anything that would leave a stain on your outfit.
"No." You answer simply. "I just came here to talk to you."
"Talk to me?" He asks but by the teasing tone of his voice and the smirk on his face, you know what he's playing at. San didn't want to seem desperate for anyone, it always had to be the other way around. "About what?"
"Just, you know...stuff." Shrugging, you pursue your lips slightly in thought before deciding to bite the bullet. "Like, when you're taking me on a date."
You take pride in knowing that you caught him by surprise because his head whips to you for the second time, his eyes wide, brows raised and lips parted. It all falls into the water fairly quickly though, once he lets a laugh leave him.
"A date, huh?" And he's back to his fucking work, screwing something in under the hood. His arms have oil stains on them and you shouldn't find it as attractive as you do.
"Yes." You say with the most confidence you could possibly muster, not letting your eyes falter for even a second from him.
"I don't date, princess." And San says it so softly, almost as if he's trying to spare you the humiliation. But you never wanted to be spared.
"So what? You just fuck around then?" You ask boldly, although you have to admit, your chest deflated a bit after his statement. So, he wasn't ever even looking for a girlfriend.
"Pretty much, yeah." San nods quietly, before his sharp eyes meet your own. "If you're interested in that, we'll gladly work something out."
"You mean, like,..." You slowly walk closer to him, sitting down on the side of the car and being extremely aware of his gaze on you. "Friends with benefits?"
So he was that type of guy. Interesting. You were in so much fucking trouble, you knew then and there.
"Yeah, something like that." He nods simply, lips quirking up and showing off his dimples. His eyes roam over your frame, sitting at not even an arms length away from him. "You'll get dirty sitting there."
Your eyes meet his and a new fire sets ablaze inside of you as lick your lips, thinking over how this could go.
"I don't mind getting dirty."
Something flashes across his eyes and he let's out a breathless chuckle at your words, gaze unmoving from your from your face. You gulp down the nervousness because everything with him feels like getting thrown into the deep end without knowing if you can make it back.
He straightens out again, no longer hunched over the hood of the car and he grabs a rag to clean his hands with best effort. "Is that so?"
In your head, this is where you're a gazelle, prancing around the prairie and he's the sharp lion, circling around you in the tall grass, waiting for the perfect opportunity to pounce. He expects you to jump up and run when you hear the rustle of the leaves.
But you won't fight. You won't run. You'll sit on the soft green and wait for him, a meal set on a silver platter.
San drags his nose up the column of your neck and you cock your head to the side to give him more access as you grip the side of the car to steady you. His calloused hands grip your thighs and spread them apart easily with your permission as he steps between them.
"You wanna have some fun, princess?" He asks in a hushed tone, hooded eyes staring down at you and making warmth pool on the bottom of your stomach.
"Yes." You whisper against him. He's so close, his lips a couple of inches away from your own.
"Then you came to the right guy." And if anyone else used that line, you would've rolled your eyes but it was San. You couldn't even mind if he was a little corny.
Instead, your hand reaches up to the back of his neck so you can finally kiss him- your patience running thin. Just as your lips are about to touch his, he dodges them and they brush against your cheek instead.
"No kissing on the mouth." He says against your cheek, squeezing your thighs a little bit.
"Why?" You're not even ashamed that you ask it through a pathetic whine. You want to kiss him.
San takes his time with his answer, placing hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck that makes you sigh out loud as his hands travel up your mini skirt and fingers curl around the elastic band at your hips as he steps back so you can close your legs. He tugs the stretchy collar of your sweater down with his teeth, revealing your bra before looking up at you and releasing the material from his mouth. Your legs quiver a bit.
"We can have fun without that."
And he pulls the panties down your thighs, stopping them at your knees and his fingers flutteringly glide over the bare skin at the back of your knees as he stands up straight, gripping your legs a bit firmer, now.
"Y/N, do you want that?" San asks seriously and you swallow down the saliva that gathered in your mouth before licking your lips, "If you don't, there's no problem. We'll just act like it never happened."
"I do." You nod deciding that if you're choosing doom then at least it's with Choi San. A gazelle sitting pretty on a silver platter.
San nods his head slowly, a gorgeous grin stretching across his lips that makes your heart (and pussy) flutter as he continues where he left off and starts dragging your panties down your calves. Once the thin, flimsy material is off of you- San tucks it in his back pocket.
"You're not getting these back." He whispers to you teasingly before dropping to his knees on the dirty floor.
You notice his hands aren't completely clean of the oil because of the stains they leave on your thighs, it serves as a reminder to where you exactly are.
"Wait," You say and he looks up at you. You turn to face the door before returning your attention to San. "I don't want anyone walking in-"
"Princess," San stops you, spreading your legs wide apart that has you gasping, "Jongho knows not to let anyone in here when I have company."
He presses kisses up your thighs, eyes watching as you finally allow yourself to relax.
And then his mouth is between your legs and he's suckling and licking and twirling his tongue around in just the right way that you can't even be bothered to question what he just said.
Jongho knows not to let anyone in here when I have company. Which would mean he does stuff like this often. With other girls.
"Oh-" You choke out a gasp, hand ending up twisted in San's midnight hair as you throw your head back and grind down against his face. All thoughts of how many girls he had like this before you are completely gone out of your head because it's you that's feeling that good now.
"San-ah..." You, at least, try to be quiet but San is probably the most experienced guy you've been with so far. Which fair enough, there weren't a lot, you only had two boyfriends before this. But he picks up on where to touch and lick fairly easily, his hands never leaving his grip on your thighs as you moan and groan in wanton while he devours your pussy like he'll never have it again.
"Oh, fuck, I'm gonna-" You whine, back arching off of the side of the car where you were perched up at and your orgasm washed up and down your body as San's name in moans and sighs leaves your lips.
He licks up your release and you twitch and whine at the sensitivity before he stands up and levels you with another smirk.
"Is that how its going to be?" San questions, cocking his head to the side as he observes you with hooded eyes and arms caging you against the car on each side. Your confused face gets him to elaborate on his question. "Are you going to come in less than 2 minutes every time I go down on you?"
You blush ferociously at that, looking away to the side as a small whine escapes you which makes San laugh. The sound of it is smooth and melodic, it makes your heart flutter.
"S-sorry, I-"
"No, don't apologize for that." San interrupts you with another chuckle, brows furrowed almost as if he found you ridiculous. Did he find you ridiculous? "We can work on that now that we'll be seeing each other often."
That sentence causes you to gulp as you look up at him again. You're reminded of the 'work something out' part he mentioned earlier and it strangely felt like you're about to sell a piece of your soul to the devil. And maybe you will, only this devil didn't have a three piece and horns but a beautiful smile and fucking dimples.
You're about to reach out for the button on his jeans, as a means of returning the favor after the mind blowing orgasm you just experienced but he's quick to gently push your hand away.
"Not today." San says, his voice sounds deeper and raspier than usual. "Look at this as payment for having to drive all the way to here."
You wordlessly nod because you're not sure what to say. Is that what sex is to him? A transaction?
"Do we have an agreement though? On the having fun together part?" He asks, cocking his head to the side as his dark eyes bore into yours. He was too fucking handsome. A dream guy.
"Yeah." You respond after clearing out your dry throat.
"Great, I'm happy to hear that, princess." That makes butterflies erupt in your stomach because you don't know that he's always 'happy to hear that'. You think you're special. "I'm going to need your phone number."
Your heart drops at that as your lips pull into a small smile at the corner of your mouth while your eyes drop to the floor.
"You already have it. I gave it to you at the party, remember?" If he's surprised or embarrassed he doesn't show it, only nods with the same grin meaning he doesn't give a fuck that he got caught not remembering.
"Right, well, you should go now." San says, placing a small kiss to your forehead. "I have to finish this before my boss shows up in an hour."
"Okay." And you're turning on your heal and walking away. Until San calls you after a couple of steps.
You turn around to find him watching you with those dark, hooded eyes.
"Pull your skirt down." He says, as if he has any right to order you around.
With a scoff, you pull on the waist of your skirt and hike it up even further up your body, revealing more of your thighs which now had grey oil stans on them before you're turning around and walking away after giving him a small smirk.
His laugh rings through the stuffy and darkly lit space.
Jongho, as you learn his name is, doesn't look at you in the eye when you walk out but you can see him jump a little when you open the front door to find him not moved from his seat. His cheeks are flushed red and he clears his throat. You find him adorable.
"See you around!" You sing to him with another dazzling smile, completely unashamed that he probably heard you have an orgasm not even five minutes ago.
"B-bye." Jongho stutters out, and you know his eyes are trained on your long legs with oil stains on your thighs as you walk to your car.
San texts you three days after that, he doesn't even beat around the bush a little and instead, simply asks if you want to hang out in his dorm around nine. You say yes, of course.
San's frat had an entire apartment building for themselves so it was three guys on one apartment and it was a pretty neat living situation for a college student (not that you would know, you lived at home still). He quickly gave you a tour of the apartment and then took you to his room.
And then, he fucked you. Really, it was that easy.
You didn't know if it was some sort of special treatment he gives to girls when he has sex with them for the first time but it was the best sex you will ever have with him.
He made you come four times that night. Once on his tongue, once on his fingers, once on his tongue and fingers and then, on his dick.
You remember leaving his place at around three in the morning, worn out and sore but so fucking satisfied and happy because you had him. You had Choi San.
Except you didn't.
Or maybe you did in a way. Yeah, you did have Choi San but so did a dozen of others. You didn't care to remember their names except for one. Seo Yeojin.
She was his favorite one. Or at least, that's what your friend Minjung told you. Now, Minjung was usually a backstabber and someone you could absolutely never rely on- but she knew her gossip.
It was a first to hear about this Seo Yeojin, though. Never met her, never heard of her. But you did allow a shot of satisfaction to run through your system at the fact that she knew about you and she didn't like you.
Usually, you didn't care what people thought of you. You grew up surrounded by the upper class so if you let everyone's opinion affect you, you would be six feet underground a long time ago but knowing that Seo Yeojin disliked you without ever even meeting you could mean only one thing- she was threatened.
Something about that made you feel giddy, if you were honest.
The first time you come face to face with her is at a party a week after you hook up with San for the first time.
You're in the spacious bathroom of some college house, fixing your lip gloss when a girl walks in the room. You make eye contact with her through the mirror and can see her stare you up and down but you don't do anything about, typically used to people sizing you up.
It's when she steps towards the sink and fishes out a cheap drug store lipstick which she begins applying to her lips, that  you get a hunch on who is next to you.
"You're Y/N?" Her voice is higher than you expect and you turn to her, to look at her properly.
"Who's asking?" You ask simply, turning your attention back to your reflection in the mirror.
"San's girlfriend." Her response makes you let out a loud laugh and you can tell it pisses her off with the way she flushes and her hands clench into fists. Terrible manicure, you notice.
"San's girlfriend?" You counter with a tiny smirk, eyes crinkled at the corners. Playing indifferent and being obnoxious is something you have mastered by now and yes, you put it to good use most of the time.
"Yeah. I'm the one in his bed almost every night, so you could say that I'm his girlfriend." She says flicking her damaged hair over her shoulder and you have to stop your eye from twitching at her admission. This was Seo Yeojin. You refuse to let her know that she has any sort of effect on you. It would be humiliating.
"Well, shit. I guess I'm San's girlfriend, too." Is what you say, leaning against the sink by your hip and crossing your arms over your chest, a smirk still playing on your lips.
"Don't piss me off, kid-"
"Is there a reason why you're talking to me right now?" You interrupt, fuse running short the moment she uttered the word 'kid' as if the fact that you're younger than her, gives her the upper hand somehow.
"Yeah." She nods, crossing her own arms over her chest. "Don't let him giving you attention get to your head, you're not anyone special to him. You're just a little freshman who still doesn't know what she just got herself into."
"It seems like you're not anyone special to him either, if he's fucking me. A little freshman who doesn't know what she got herself into." You draw out, smirk dropping for once as you glare at her.
It's fucking embarrassing, arguing with another girl in a bathroom at a party over a guy who doesn't give a shit about either of you. But you have too much pride to be the bigger guy and walk away from an argument, especially an argument with a bitch who thinks she has any claim over the guy you were currently infatuated with.
"You have some balls, I'll give you that." She chuckles almost in disbelief as she glares at you equally hard. Before her face softens and an annoyingly pretty smile grows on her lips. "But I'm his favorite one. Always was and always will be."
"Not for long." You mutter before you could stop yourself and if you cared that she heard you, you might've been a little bit nervous.
She takes a step towards you, arms falling to her sides.
"I'd take the attitude down a notch or two, freshie." She whispers with a knowing smirk that causes your jaw to clench in annoyance, the indifferent facade easily cracking. "You'll be interesting to him for a week and then you'll get put on the back-burner while he returns to someone who actually knows what they're doing."
She's a year older than San which means she's three years older than you and you should respect her, she's a senior after all. But the catty part of you just doesn't allow it, her words filling up a new type of rage because; is this the type of girl that was San's first choice?
She was pretty but not that pretty and definitely not prettier than you. Her face was regular, there were a dozen of girls that looked like her at this exact party. Boring, cheap clothes and with the way she articulates herself and moves, she's not particularly smart or classy either. What was there to favour so much?
"Maybe you're used to being placed on the back-burner Yeojin," You utter, jutting your chin out in confidence that looks very real to everyone but yourself. Her smile falters when she realizes that you know her name. With a snarky smile, you take a step forward. "but not me. I'm not forgotten so easily."
Yeojin lets out a disbelieving chuckle, her eyes narrowing as she stares you down with her jaw slightly dropped.
"We'll see about that, freshie." And she's walking away, leaving you to stare at your own reflection in the mirror. The hinges are so close to coming off and for the first time, you think that you bit off more than you could chew with Choi San but....But.
You were never a quitter. Ever since you were little, you were taught that if you wanted something you should stop at nothing to make it yours and you fucking wanted Choi San.
But seeing and hearing all of this about him. About his reputation. It caused something heavy to sit down at the bottom of your stomach. Days passed and you saw the other girls, heard the other stories and got enough warnings- all very helpful in building an image in your head of who Choi San really was.
Heck, even he himself told you he doesn’t fucking date.
You realized very early on that you could never be the only one in his book and sometimes even you had to settle with the next best thing . So in this matter, if you couldn't be the only one- the next best thing was to be the favorite one. To take Seo Yeojin's place.
And maybe, from there, you could meticulously work and plan on how to become the only one.
So you slowly started going up the list of his girls. It was such a disgusting label. San's girl. But that's what all of you were. A pretty girl that he fucked around with and the one that sometimes got the privilege to be let into his small, elite circle of friends. You fucked him the way he liked, left when he said to leave and pretended like you were completely okay with everything being San's way. It's what the favorite one did, wasn't it?
And being the favorite one meant being one step ahead of the competition at all times which, and you don't say it to be mean, wasn't hard at all.
The girls San usually slept with were so...basic. If you lined them up next to each other, you would think that they were all variations of the same person. The same very basic fashion style that they probably saw their favorite Instagram influencer wear bought off of Shein, the same eyebrows, same lip liners, same cookie-cutter mold that made none of them stand out in the mass of girls he had flocking around him.
They all looked like each other. Which wasn't a bad thing, they were pretty (he wouldn't fuck them if they weren't pretty). But you were simply better.
For starters, you never wore the same outfit twice and your jewelry didn't leave blue prints on your skin because it wasn't fake. You looked pretty with or without makeup and a bottle of your perfume costed almost as much as their three monthly rents. You didn't look like you got picked off of someone's Instagram feed and you actually knew how to apply your bronzer and trim your eyebrows to suit your face. In looks, you easily triumphed over the rest.
They were superficial reasons, you were very aware and San didn't care for any of that. A pretty girl was a pretty girl to him, he didn't give a fuck about her outfit unless when he was planning on taking it off of her. The real reason why you were the favorite one was because in San's book you were listed under 'The Rich, Spoilt Brat That Not Everyone Could Have', and he had you.
Men always liked knowing that they were special enough to attain something which was otherwise considered untouchable and San was no fucking different. Knowing that he had the rich girl who didn't fuck around with just anyone under his thumb got him going.
You could tell he liked it when you walked into the room and everyone's attention went to you but you were looking at him. He enjoyed knowing that he was the only one taking you to bed and you often wondered if you didn't have the old-money name to back you up; would you be on the same pile as the rest of the girls you surpassed?
Thinking about what made you special to Choi San was a dangerous game. Was it the sex, the high-fives he gets from his friends for fucking the granddaughter of one of Korea's richest CEOs or could it ever be just you?
Still, you enjoyed it. He didn't love you but at least he knew you were better than the rest.
And boy, did that feel good as you stared back into Yeojin's eyes with a smirk pulling on your glossy lips as you placed a soft hand on San's arm which was draped over your shoulder in the smoky, crowded room almost two months after your first meeting in that bathroom. He was conversing with Yunho, not paying an inkling of attention to you but at least, he wasn't paying attention to anyone else either.
Especially not Yeojin.
'I win.' You mouth to her, and you know there's a mean look in your eyes but you knew that if Yeojin was in your place, she'd be gloating just as much (if not more) to your face.
So you don't feel all that bad about it.
You were the new favorite now.
And you remain the favorite one all through your freshman year and the summer after it.
There are other girls, of course, but they're all one-night stands and flings that come and go. You're the only one he keeps by his side, no matter how many times he's fucked you. It's a burden as much as it is a relief because while San wants you around, you're constantly looking over your shoulder to check if someone else caught his attention for the night. It's pathetic and demeaning.
It's even more demeaning when you're in the presence of his friends when he decides to hook up with someone else for the night. His friends, Yunho and Yeosang, hate you.
Yunho is two-faced and at least pretends to be nice to you when you're in their presence at a party or share a lunch table at the cafeteria, even though you know he bad-mouths you the moment you turn your back.
Yeosang on the other hand, well... he is just nasty to you to your face. If he didn't outright despise you, you might've liked him a little bit. You might've even tried to be his friend because you always had a thing with people for no filter.
Also Yeosang gives off the vibe that he's maybe killed a man, but if you were to ask him directly about it, any answer would feel like he's lying. Which makes him even more interesting.
But San's friends weren't the only problem. Your own friends weren't any better because they were trying to fuck San.
Now, everyone must be thinking; Y/N, with what kind of people do you surround yourself with? And the answer is pretty simple- terrible people.
You didn't really care how honest or trustworthy anyone was because almost every single one of your friendships was for the sake of connections and climbing up the social ladder. Also at the time, you had Seonghwa. He was your best friend.
But your friends were actively trying to fuck the guy you had some serious feelings for and the worst part is that one of them succeeded. Jennie fucked San almost half a year after you started hooking up with him and she rubs it in your face to this day.
You were hurt obviously but not so much by Jennie because you didn't give a fuck about her. You were hurt by San. Why would he sleep with your friend? Even if you two weren't together, surely there must be some sort of rule in the friends-with-benefits rulebook that says you can't fuck each other's other friends.
And you could get back at him, you know you could go and fuck someone else but why would you? San wouldn't care in the slightest and you'd only give yourself away to someone to try and spite someone else.
If nobody concluded by now, your life was kind of a mess but San was the hurricane in the center.
When you thought about him, you imagined the two of you in a whirlwind of tangled hands, twirling in the middle of a steep hill. Your hair is whipping you in the face from the speed of your movements, white dress clinging to your body as you stare at him from across from you.
Big, beautiful smile with dimples popping and eyes crinkled. Black, soft hair falling dancing with the wind and revealing his handsome face. White button-down shirt getting swayed by his each movement.
He's yelling; "Let go, Y/N! Let go of my hands!" with a big smile on his face, "Let go of me, Y/N!" But you never do, instead you stubbornly hold on as both of your feet pick up pace and you twirl even faster.
But you handled it well. The unrequited love, the traitors you call friends, the snarky remarks from his friends. You took it like a champ because you were the favorite one and no-one could take that from you.
Until Son Boyoung walks into the picture, or rather bumps into it.
Like every plot-shifting, drama- starting event in Gossip Girl, it all starts with a party. The first party of your second year of college to be precise.
A party you didn't even want to go to if you were honest, you might've just preferred to fuck San in his dorm and then leave because that's how the night will end anyway. This entire tradition of getting ready for two hours to be surrounded by horny college boys trying to get with you while San partied around got old a long time ago.
"Wanna go?" San's breath coasts over your ear and it makes you shiver lightly as you nod in response. His breath smells like beer but he's not drunk, you can tell because his eyes are still crystal clear and he wasn't tripping over his tongue yet.
You let him lead the way, his pointer finger wrapped around your own loosely so he doesn't lose you in the crowd as you both make your way through the dimmed room.
You both don't make it three steps forward before someone is bumping into San and causing you to bump into his back when he stops in his tracks suddenly.
You're more focused on the fact that there's beer spilled all over his shirt now rather than who spilled it on him as you gasp lightly.
"Watch where you're going." San says darkly to the smaller figure in front of him and for the first time you turn your attention to the girl who was hold an, now, empty cup in her hands and looking absolutely mortified. You kick yourself to this day for feeling bad for her.
"You're the one that bumped into me." Your brows raise in surprise at the sudden bravery in her voice. She still looks small and slightly nervous, but she's stubbornly holding her own and you can't help but respect her a little for it. "You watch where you're going."
And she's pushing past both you and San with him only left staring at her back with his jaw slightly dropped and gaze pissed off. His jaw clenches, eyes on the unknown girl for a second longer before he's nodding for both of you to head to the entrance.
As always, you both walk side by side to his dorm which is just a three minute walk from the place where the party is held. Usually, this is your favorite part because it's when San is the sweetest to you.
His attempt to woo you out of pure courtesy because you both know he doesn't have to since you would sleep with him with or without the sweet words but he still does, maybe he knows how much you like them.
Tonight, he's agitated by something and it doesn't even cross your mind that it might have something to do with the girl from earlier.
"What's up with you?" You ask lightly, tugging on the sleeve of his shirt teasingly. It seems to snap him out of the staring contest with the pavement because his head snaps to you.
"Nothing important." He replies with a crooked smile. His finger gets hooked around the belt hoop of your mini skirt and he pulls you closer to his side as you both walk down the empty street. You let out a loud laugh at that, attempting to push him off but only ending up with his arm draped across your shoulder.
"You want something to drink?" San asks as you enter his unit. You push off the high-heeled boots off of your feet, leaving them by the door and immediately going to his room.
"Water!" You shout back, knowing that you're alone in his apartment because you've seen both Yeosang and Yunho at the party tonight.
You tune out San's shuffling in the kitchen as you take your jacket off and throw it across the chair next to his desk. You turn on the desk lamp, not bothering with the ceiling light and look over his cozy bedroom. It's messy but in a very organized way and you always find some new detail in it to nitpick over, all in hopes to learn something new about him.
Tonight, it's his small collection of records which sits in a neat row at the bottom of his small bookshelf. It's a mix of old school bands and RnB records with an occasional indie artist that you're not familiar with. You wonder if he plays them while studying or does he use them to impress girls?
Two hands hooking below your elbow catch you by surprise and with a small squeak you're lifted to your feet, back coming in contact with a firm chest.
"You're always snooping around my room." San comments in a hushed voice against your ear and you know he's smiling. His hands lightly skim over your hips before they rest on your stomach. You huff.
"I'm not snooping!" You defend yourself with a pout, watching over the little knick-knacks scattered over his desk. "Just...observing."
He chuckles against you before you feel him reach for something behind you.
"Your water, princess." A bottle of water comes to your view and you take it with a 'thank you' before opening it and taking a couple of gulps. "And if you're done with your 'observing'..."
San's hands return to your front only this time, they don't rest on your stomach but starts fiddling with the button of your skirt until it's undone and he's tugging on it until it slides down your legs and hits the floor.
"I was observing. Don't get a big head." You giggle with a small whine, worried that you'll spill water over the floor because of his wandering hands and kisses pressed to your neck.
It doesn't take long for you to get in the mood with San simply because you always want him. Something about him is so irresistible and so magnetic that something as easy as a pretty smile can turn you to mush.
You place the water bottle down on his desk and relax in his hold, relishing in his touches and kisses pressed to your skin. With his hands wrapped around your middle, he walks you both backwards to his bed and pulls you into his lap.
The kisses to your neck turn hotter and slower as one hand dips between your thighs, fingers running up and down your clothed heat while the other feels hot and heavy on your waist. A sigh leaves you, head lulling back onto his shoulder and giving him more access to your neck as you start grinding down on his lap while his fingers continue to tease you.
"God," San sighs lowly into your ear, lips at your temple as you grind down harder on him.
"San, do something." You whine against him.
Suddenly, you're picked up and placed on the bed with him hovering above you. He tugs your panties down and throws them over his shoulder before quickly spitting on his hand and spreading the essence over your cunt, slicking you up with parted lips and watchful gaze.
"Fuckin' pretty." He mutters and you whimper a little as his fingers start carefully rubbing your clit, the motion making your hips jolt.
His fingers dip inside of you, stretching you out and making you moan softly as your back arches off of the bed.
"San, please." You whisper through a moan, looking up at him and letting out a loud groan when his thumb brushes your clit. "J-just fuck me. Please."
"Whatever you want, princess." And his fingers slide out of you.
You watch him remove the black shirt he had on, admiring his broad shoulders and toned stomach. A silver necklace decorates his chest, hair swept to the side and lips flushed and you can't stop the staring. He's beautiful.
When he catches your eyes on him, San laughs lightly and grazes your hip with his fingers before rummaging through his bedside table to find a condom  and it makes you smile sheepishly as you adjust yourself on the bed.
Soon enough, the rest of his clothes are discarded and you remember you still have your top on which you quickly slide off of yourself and throw to the floor.
San pulls you towards him by your ankle and you squeak in surprise before it turns into a laugh when his fingers dig into your waist, tickling you. He puts the condom on swiftly before nestling himself between your legs.
You mewl when he slides inside of you, the delicious stretch overwhelming you accompanied by the torturous kisses to your neck and collarbones that turn into soft bites when he starts thrusting into you.
"Always feel so good." He mutters, hips snapping into yours as you grip his shoulders. Soft whines and whimpers leave you as the familiar feeling in your stomach starts building and your nails dig into the skin of his back.
"Fuck, San..." You sigh when his lips wrap around your nipple, tongue rolling over the sensitive bud. He pulls away with a groan, lips trailing upwards before his face is buried in your neck, breath coasting over your sensitive skin and making goosebumps rise.
"Say my name, again." He whispers against your neck, hips bucking into yours which causes you to moan loudly.
"San..." You whisper, hand getting tangled in his dark hair. His name continues to leave your lips like a prayer with each thrust and his lips trace your skin.
And that's how both of you lose yourselves in the moans and shared breaths, skin on skin, profanities and lewd noises filling his room until the coil in your stomach is snapping and you're coming undone underneath him so hard that you see white in front of your eyes. San finishes not long after you, filling up the condom with a low groan against your skin and all that's left are heavy breaths that fill up the silence and cold air meeting, now, sweaty skin.
You often think how if this was some other guy, you would probably be kissing him while he fingers you, while he's balls deep inside of you, after he makes you come and you've come down from the high and in a daze. But not with San. He doesn't kiss.
You found it peculiar and wondered why because if he's willing to eat you out, why was he so against something as innocent as kissing? And after days of pondering over it, you finally understood.
Kissing is way too intimate for him.
Sex was something incredibly normal and daily for San. Well, sex is normal in general. Everyone fucks. But to San, it was just an action that he did with the means of getting off and it didn't represent anything special to him.
Kissing, on the other hand, didn't always lead to sex. Sometimes you just kissed people because you wanted to kiss them. Wanted to have them close like that, wanted to feel that tender moment of when your lips disconnect and you look into each other's eyes, wanted to express how you feel towards them through tongues.
San never kissed you. He only ever had sex with you.
And sex didn't mean anything to San so it subsequently followed that you didn't mean anything to him either.
The end of the world that you were currently mulling over though, happens on the first Monday after that night.
It was the first day of classes of your second year of college and after four hours of classes, you find yourself in the campus cafeteria. Coincidentally, San has lunch at the same time as you. Well, Yunho and Yeosang are with him as well but who gives a fuck about them.
"Hi guys!" You greet cheerily, sitting down at an empty seat and placing your lunch box in front of you. San gives you an amused eyebrow raise while Yunho nods at you in greeting, neither saying much. Thank God Kang Yeosang is there though.
"Oh, Jesus." He mutters and you sigh, suppressing an eye roll as you open your lunch box and take out your chopsticks. "Don't you have a Twice video to stream or something? Why are you here?"
"I did that last night while I was doing my nails, Yeosang." You reply simply, taking a bite out of your salad. "I'm having lunch just like you."
"Well, can you take your plated grass somewhere else?" He asks with a sarcastic smile as he eyes your salad with distaste and you clench your fists, holding yourself back from lashing out at him the way you want to. They way you always want to but don't, for the sake of staying in San's good graces.
Instead, you fix yourself up in a polite smile.
"There's plenty of space here."
You only get an eye roll in response and he turns to Yunho, starting a conversation about some topic you don't really care about.
You open your mouth to ask San how his first day of classes was but when you turn your head to him, you're completely gagged by the expression on his face and it quickly makes you clamp your mouth shut.
San looks determined and intrigued, which wouldn't be anything out of the usual, if his attention wasn't directed to something over your shoulder. Or rather someone.
You follow the direction of his gaze, eyes scanning the almost empty area and wondering who he was looking at so intently and so wistfully. The red head? The tall girl with a wolf cut...she might be his type. The girl that's rumored to model for Calvin Klein?
It's when she catches your attention. Sitting behind an empty table, in a sweatshirt that swallows half of her body, hair braided and falling over one shoulder and earphones plugged in as she writes something down in her notebook, is the girl from the party. The girl who spilled her beer all over San.
She's sitting alone, a little bit to the side and she's got a pretty face but in the sea of pretty girls surrounding her, she is completely unnoticeable and plain. You turn to face San again, his eyes would fly behind your shoulder too often for your liking.
Surely, he couldn't be...?
"I'd be worried if I was in your place, princess." Kang Yeosang whispers in your ear and you jump a little, surprised by the sudden closeness. "It seems like you're about to get replaced by a nerd."
Your eyes connect with his and your stomach twists at the annoyingly pretty but vicious smirk on his lips, eyes dancing with mirth.
You want to laugh in his face. You want to tell him that a girl so mediocre could never be even up to your knees. Even the fact that you’re comparing yourself to her is ridiculous. You were you and that Plain Jane could never be a threat.
But words fail you because this doesn't feel like all the other times a pretty girl would catch San's attention. The fact that she doesn't fit San's type of pretty girls makes you clutch the chopsticks firmly and you can't find yourself to respond as you turn to San once again and your heart drops.
That's how the world explodes on the ceiling of your bedroom later on, this afternoon as you replay what happened at lunch over and over again while laying on your bed. From San's intrigued gaze to Yeosang's words to the way even you felt something shift during that lunch because...
While you were looking at San, San was looking at her.
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nanowatzophina · 1 year
Note
Pspspspsing you to tell us abt your wardens!!!!! Would luv to hear abt any other da ocs as well
GASP!! SURE!! You wanna hear about my wardens??? Yay!!!
This will give me a good excuse to redraw/make ref for em too!
Dragon Age Shit under the cut!!
((Holy crap. It deleted all my progress but here we go again. I hope I can remember all the details))
— Also for reference I’m only gonna talk about the pt’s I’ve actually finished. Which is only four of em.
First up we’ve got Rosal Surana!!
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((Still proud of how this one turned out so she doesn’t get an update))
Circle Mage lady who just wants to learn as much as she can!! She’s my first COMPLETED pt. So I made the fact that I was always asking all the questions in each interaction part of her character.
She’s curious, a bit overly so.
She made her own outfit. This was like— designed before I got better at copying clothes fashion but I do like the idea of Rosal just… making this for herself. Not looking like she’s from any particular nation. Just herself.
She romances Zevran, whom I love dearly. She is best friends with Alistair and Morrigan. She never got as close with Leliana but they still friends.
Rosal was a Chantrified name for her. Instead of the traditional Dalish name that her mom named her. (I honestly can’t recall what it was originally. I was dumb and didnt right it down) She was born in the Denerim alienage and taken away at 8 when she accidentally used her powers against a human boy in the street who was picking on her.
I had like. This whole idea for a fanfic with her that takes place after Awakening where she goes on a search for her mother who was sold to Tevinter. Full of intrigue and drama.
Secondly! Alana Cousland!!
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Grew up refusing to act like a lady, much to her mothers disappointment. Not doing her hair, running out to learn how to fight with daggers rather than manners, scaring off suitors with her blunt way of speaking and teasing. Just a real Princess Merida situation.
She grew up wanting to be like the great heroes she learned about growing up. Slaying dragons and fighting armies!
But then… her family was taken so suddenly from her. Everyone she knew and loved and grew up with, dead. She got her dream of being a heroic Grey Warden but… the cost always makes her feel guilty… like she brought this upon their family due to simply… wishing for adventure. She had a LOT of survivor’s guilt and became kind of a rude, blunt person. Cold and hardened.
But… then she met an idiot named Alistair. Who somehow managed to make her laugh despite terrible circumstances. And would listen to her and talk with her. He helped her to open up.
Despite being… herself. She managed to befriend all the companions pretty closely. Especially Sten and Leliana. Sten approves of her while Leliana is much like Alana’s mom, nagging her into brushing her hair and maybe… taking care of herself a bit more…
In the end Alana marries Alistair and became Queen. She finds it incredibly ironic that she was running from this type of life all of her youth and yet… walked right into being Queen. Because she saw it as… finally accepting her duty is important. And wanting to take that step with Alistair. She still struggles with public appearance sometimes. And would often rather be off fighting dark spawn. But she is also happy to be able to… rest. After everything…
((Tho the convincing Alistair to sleep w/ Morrigan to save their lives for the sake of the kingdom was… a little awkward. Especially since Alana is friends with Morrigan just… uncomfortable all around))
Next up we’ve got Solan Aeducan!
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Solan Aeducan was on her way to being a great dwarven warrior. Which sucks. Leaving Ostagar was one of the hardest things to happen. Seeing the sky was a horrible reminder of what she had lost.
She was always a quick to anger, hot-headed woman. But after leaving Ostagar she became untrusting and just... more angry...
But then... she met Leliana. Who helped her to see the beauty of the stars... and then they fell in love. I love them so much.
Solan got Leli a nug in Ostagar. And listens to her stories, loving just how... smart Leliana is.
However... she is... the ONLY playthrough that I’ve done that she refused the ritual... and so she dies... and Leliana is left alone... So I’m a terrible person.
And Lastly! Fen’nas!
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Fen’nas is a glorious himbo. He is bold and flirty though has a BIT of a short-temper. He likes doing nice things for people. Which... makes him and Morrigan a bit of a... unique situation.
He totally fell for her the second he saw her. Which is a surprise for all of us considering how Morrigan swooped in the way she did.
But he loves Morrigan and wants her to be happy. Even though she runs away after they make a baby. But he runs after her like the rom-com man he is.
And he goes through the mirror with her. And raises their kid together. And he is a great stay-at-home husband. Though... they never got actually married. But they are in love. I love them.
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bellevvalencia · 4 months
Text
Sick
October 16, 2023
My left ear was ringing with pain the other night when I told God that I’d take any other pain rather than physical pain at that moment. It was nowhere near the level of pain of my leg injury from three months ago, but I had to get up in five hours, my room was cold, my brain was fried, and my body was limp from the gym. It was already a limit that I was facing everyday, so having a sudden additional burden was slightly an overkill. I wouldn’t have minded, but I was at a really tight spot that week.
I whined a little. Took the deepest breaths I could and thought back to all of my previous greater pains to invalidate it and strip it of its power. I’m nothing if not a drama queen. I just had to sleep, I repeated to myself over and over again, because then the feeling would go away.
It was very similar to when I cried myself to my parents because I had no idea where the pain in my leg was coming from or going to.
It was similar to when my retainers were fucking me up so bad I stopped wearing them in my sleep.
It was similar to when I got a bruise from jokingly egging a punch from a boy and I couldn’t react because I let it happen.
And it was similar to me saying “No, it’s okay, I’m used to body pain” when he apologized about it the morning after.
It was similar to when I ignored my conscious working brain for weeks and trusted the words of another boy who left as soon as he got me.
It was similar to when, after swearing off caffeine for two years, I started taking it again just so I could show up and pretend that everything was absolutely amazing.
There’s always some kind of premium when your tolerance to pain is high—obviously to yourself, because who the hell wouldn’t want to stay unscathed—but also to the way that people perceive you: Oh, she’ll be fine. She’s been through more and she can do better.
It’s always fine because you can fix yourself on your own, you need no apologies, and in your head you’re thinking that you probably deserved it anyway.
After how I acted and after what I said and after where I went?
After the way I felt?
I probably deserved that.
When my ear hurt, I knew that I would feel a lot better the next day, but it was very hard to believe. At that level, I doubted that I could ever forget the pain. I called a doctor after a few hours. He gave me meds and said I should feel relief in three days.
It was too long. But whatever it is and why, I probably did it to myself. I could do three days.
I can do three more. Maybe.
When my body doesn’t align with my mind, it should be easier to accept that it was something that I did. It’s true most of the time. I got a cold because I partied too hard. I got a fever because I stayed out too late. I got a sprain because I pulled too fast. I got a chest pain because I expected too much. I got a headache because I wasn’t stopping and I wouldn’t stop, because I had to go out and do something before it all eventually breaks me. It should all be logical.
Isn’t it so fucking funny how it’s not?
Sometimes you deal with the wrong people and you go to the wrong places and you let your heart take you even though you’re aware that none of it makes sense. And sometimes you’re wrong and you’re making mistakes. And sometimes you don’t want what’s good for you. And sometimes you want what’s bad for you.
Sometimes you let your heart take the lead...and then, more often than not, you just sit back and watch it fuck you up like a little fool.
It’s always only the greatest story of all time.
I have a very low tolerance to pain. I’d like to believe so, at least, because it doesn’t really get better. My body is sore every single day. I tire it out and I have all these outlets but when it hurts, it doesn’t get any better. It just becomes the norm that has to be endured. And when the norm is endured, you grow bigger and bigger around it, until it feels smaller and smaller and it doesn’t feel different than before anymore.
But that’s the big, ideal, birds-eye-view picture. At the end of every single day, while walking home from the gym at 10 PM, for example, it only fucking sucks ass. The pain eases for a while and for a bit but in my lone idle moments, I want to either kill myself or run to a door to pound my fists and ask why. I want to shut down and numb the constant ache in my chest down, because I blame myself and I shouldn’t, but it’s the only way I can get out of it alive. It’s the only way I can forgive—knowing that I’ll find my way through eventually.
So when I was on the verge of trading my life for a sense of relief, when my ear hurt, my brain just insisted that it could be so much worse. At least that one’s always true.
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ellana-ravenwood · 3 years
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The art of taking care of the woman you love - Bruce Wayne x Fem!Reader
Synopsis : You’ve always had really bad period pains. You learned to live with it, and to take care of yourself during those times...Up until a certain Bruce Wayne came into your life, and made it his mission to be there for you. 
For @meghan-maria​, who gotta be the sweetest out there :), and for anyone who ever had really bad period pains. I hope you will like it : 
TW : periods. It’s obvious given the theme, but I guess we never know and better safe than sorry. 
My master list : @ella-ravenwood-archives​
_________________________________________________
The First time it happened
It’s the fact you cancelled your planned date with him without an explanation that makes him worry. 
“Sorry, can’t make it tonight. Will see you tomorrow !” 
You never did that before, and you two were so busy neither of you would miss a date really. Not unless something bad or important happened. But then in that case, you would’ve told him, no ?
It made him so anxious. And he was starting to clearly overthink things. 
Were you maybe...having second thoughts ? 
You and Bruce made your relationship official not long ago, was the media’s pressure becoming too much ? You told him you’d be fine, but after a few months experiencing the plague that were paparazzi and invasive questions, did you change your mind ? 
Or maybe it was because of the whole Batman thing ? You discovered that a while ago, even before making your relationship official so...why would you change your mind about it now ? 
Maybe he came home with too many cuts and bruises. Maybe you were freaking out ? He would understand if you did. 
Or...There was a last option that came to his mind : he upset you somehow. 
It was entirely possible, sometimes he could get stuck in his own mind, and be a jerk without even truly realizing it. He knew that fact very well about himself. It was often the reason of how he ruined multiple relationships, friends or more. 
The way he sometimes just got too focused on his vigilante work. Too obsessed. And could be stuck in a “dark mode” like you’d say...
But, he also knew that you never took any of his shit. You would’ve told him if something was really the matter, right ? 
Right ?!
Should he ask Alfred if he noticed anything ? His butler, and surrogate father, always saw things that escaped him. Especially when it came to feelings. 
This was a less known trait about Bruce, but ever since he was a child, he’s always been anxious. He was usually really good at hiding it, and his “Brucie Wayne” persona made everyone think it wasn’t possible for him to be anything else but confident and cocky but...it wasn’t true. 
Especially when it came to those he cared about. Especially when it came to you. 
You loved him despite his flaws, accepted him fully, without any conditions. It was the first time it ever happened, that he LET it happen...So, with this simple plan cancellation that was quite unlike you, he freaked out a bit.
In the middle of the day, he finally decided to call you. One. Two. Three tones before you picked up, and oh. Oh he felt so relieved to hear your little “hello ?” 
At the same time, his worry peaked. Was it just him, or did you sound really weak ?
“Hey honey, just wanted to check if you were alright ? Your text was a little short, and I know you don’t owe me any explanations of course, but I just wanted to check on you. You know. I-um...” 
Clumsy Brooshy. 
It made you smile, the way he could be a little flustered and lose his words, when with you. And it made you smile even wider that he chose to call you to make sure everything was ok. 
Sweet Broosh.
If you really didn’t want to talk to him, you wouldn’t have answered. And he wasn’t the kind of man to “insist”. He would’ve left a voice message, and leave you alone until you felt like calling him back. Bruce was most definitely not invasive...but at the same time, you’d never leave him worrying for no reasons, knowing how anxious he could be.
The truth was, your text was short because...You didn’t know how to tell him the reasons you needed to cancel your date. You didn’t want to embarrass him. Men didn’t really like to talk about what you currently were suffering from. 
You also were a little embarrassed yourself, because the entire society surrounding you made you feel wrong for having periods. 
Periods. 
One week a month. Every single months. That was a lot. 
Especially for you because...you always had complicated and difficult periods. Painful. Making you feel like you couldn’t move. The pain making it impossible for you to even get out of bed for long. 
You and Bruce had been dating for a while but...weren’t periods sort of a taboo subject ? You didn’t really know how to tell him. Especially since most men really seemed uncomfortable with the all thing. 
Of course, you should’ve know Bruce wasn’t “most men”. 
“Baby, are you there ?” 
“Um yes yes, sorry I was lost in thoughts.” 
“Are you ok ? You don’t sound right.” 
The most observant man in the World was obviously going to realize your voice sounded weaker than usually. The truth was, you were trying really hard to keep it steady as pain filled your being. 
“Yes yes, I’m ok, just feeling a bit...under the weather ?” 
“Is there anything I can do ? Is it a cold or something ? If so, I can bring you buy some chicken noodle soup, and pick up any meds you might need.” 
You almost cried at his words. 
Super busy bee Bruce Wayne was telling you he’d go out of his way to bring you what you needed...It made you crack a little. 
He was too damn nice. And your hormones were in shambles. It was very easy right now for you to cry. 
This. How willing he was to help you, how he immediately asked if he could...Was what made you say the truth without thinking twice : 
“I’m-I’m on my periods. They’re usually- They’re usually bad.” 
“Oh.” 
His response scared you a little bit. Were you right, was this maybe too much, too soon ? You were about to add something when he said : 
“I’ll be there in about an hour, if it’s ok with you ? If you prefer to be alone I can send-” 
“No ! No, I would love for you to come. I just-I wasn’t sure-I-”
“It’s ok. I understand. See you in a bit, love you.” 
“Love you, too.” 
On that note, Bruce hung up and leaves you with a wild beating heart. 
************
Exactly an hour later, your doorbell rings. 
With difficulties, you stand up, and go open the door. Surely enough, it’s your boyfriend. 
“Hi.” 
“Hi.” 
He has a bag in his hand, and you melt a little at the soft look and smile he gives you (even if there’s clear concerns behind it). You let him in, and go sit on the couch, even if just sitting up is already too much. 
“Do you want to lie down ?” 
“No. No I’m fine. You came all the way here, I can’t just stay in bed haha.” 
“Of course you can.” 
There’s a small silence for a little bit. Not awkward, you’re just not quite sure what to do. Should you go back to bed ? You really want to. And clearly, he understands. He always does. 
“Ok.” 
You stand, and wince because moving really makes everything worst. He approaches you, worried, but doesn’t dare to touch you and just follows you into your room. You get back in your comfy bed, under your comfy comforter. 
Another silence. Until he breaks it, taking something out of the bag he was carrying and saying : 
“So. I wasn’t sure you had a hot water bottle, I don’t ever recall seeing one in your apartment. So I bought one on the way just in case. Sorry if you don’t like the color, I can pick another one up later. It’s just, the woman on YouTube said that heat pads and hot water bottles were great.”
“The...woman on YouTube ?” 
“Yes, I watched a video on menstruations on the way here.” 
For a few seconds, you just stare at him, stunned. Never EVER in your entire life did you think you would hear THE Bruce Wayne say those words one day.
“A video on menstruations ?”
“Well, yes. Obviously, I don’t have periods. So I have no idea what it feels like. So I watched a video, to understand the process. And also so that you wouldn’t have to explain anything to me. You know what periods are, you don’t have to educate me on it. It’s not your job. And I definitely don’t want to sound patronizing about it. So I watched a video, and read a few articles. I won’t say I know how it feels, but I understand it more. Tell me if I ever step my bounds at any moment..” 
You can’t help but smile, even as your lower belly is on fire. Ah. Of course he would search things about it. Bruce was the kind of man to be thorough in his researches before tackling a problem. As Batman, he always tried to know everything there is to know about a situation before finding any solutions. But he was like that in real life too. 
And it particularly touched you that he did it so you wouldn’t have to explain...You had an ex, once, who sat down with you to talk about menstruations and it sort of drove you crazy. He thought it was nice, but your hormones were wreaking HAVOC and he was trying to explain to you how periods work and what it felt like ??? Give you advice about it and that it would be fine if you did what he said ?? Excuse me ??? As if you didn’t try everything already to feel less pain. And as if, as a woman, you didn’t know what it felt like or what it was exactly...
And there came Bruce. Reading up on it. And knowing he would never quite know how it feels. But educating himself so he won’t say something that could trigger you in any way. 
Sweet sweet man...If only people knew. 
He caressed your cheek softly, before whispering : 
“Then I-I watched something on endometriosis, because I read in a previous article it felt horrible. And you said your periods were bad, when we were on the phone. It sounds awful. Do you-...Have endometriosis ?” 
You shake your head weakly. Endometriosis was one of the reason why your periods were so painful and dreaded. And the worst ? It was a sickness many people said didn’t even exist. 
A woman being in pain during her periods ? Drama queen. Right ? It didn’t hurt that baaaaad. See, some women didn’t feel anything, just bled for a bit and moved on with their months. So obviously every women felt the same. Some were just being too sensitive...
Endometriosis was still, even to this day, a rather unknown illness and one that was rarely taken seriously. Some people just couldn’t even fathom you being in pain because of your periods, so much so that you couldn’t move. 
That you occasionally fainted, that you couldn’t eat much because it made you vomit, that you had awful migraines, stomach ache and back pain. That you couldn’t focus or sleep because of it. No. 
No those were just “made up symptoms” because you were “weak”...What awful things to say, right ? It was even worst to hear. Someone telling you this, as you felt like you were dying because of the pain, made you feel GUILTY to have painful periods. 
But it wasn’t your fault ? IT WASN’T YOUR FAULT ?! Nor were the moodswings, the cravings, the fatigue...
You hated going to the doctors when you were younger, because you knew he wouldn’t believe you when you said your periods hurt...
Anyway. Even without endometriosis, women who had bad periods pain were rarely taken seriously. Unless they met another woman who felt the same. Then they’d feel like they weren’t alone, or crazy. Like there were others who felt bad too. 
Every woman was different. And you unfortunately never met someone else with the same problems than you...
You felt very alone, for so long, and it was enhanced by your hormones going crazy and the pain being unbearable at times. 
And then, in come Bruce. 
Your Broosh. 
“Ok. Well. I brought you some of your favorite food. And um, I picked up some snacks if you want to do a movie marathon ? I brought all The Lord of the Rings extended editions. I got heat pads and a hot water bottle like I said. We can also just cuddle and relax if you prefer, I read that physical comfort was good ? Or, I can leave everything here, settle you in properly, and leave you alone. Just, tell me what you need my love ?” 
What did...you need ? 
Nobody ever asked you that. Nobody. Not even your parents. 
What did you need ? 
The answer came quickly. 
Him. You need him. His warmth. His large and soothing hands. His comforting presence. His calming voice. 
You knew you were in love with him since a while now. You exchanged “I love yous” already. But never did you feel as much love for him as right now, seeing him sitting in front of you, asking you what you needed...
A simple action. Simple words. And yet, it meant everything. 
“What do you need, honey ?” 
The concern in his eyes, and how he was very obviously ready to do whatever you wanted him to. 
It already made you feel better. The physical pain didn’t go down, that’s not how it worked unfortunately. But the emotional anguish ? Gone. 
Because he was there. 
Without even realizing it, you started crying. This was too much for your heart, too overwhelming. It meant the World, in that moment. 
It meant the world, to you and your overworked hormones. And so you cried. You cried hard. 
Without thinking twice, Bruce moved towards you. Taking his coat off and leaving it on the floor (Alfred would scold him about this for sure), he climbs in your bed and engulfs you in his arms. And it’s so warm and comforting, comfortable, too. 
“Just tell me what you need..”
He whispered to you, in his deep calming voice, his fingers running soothingly through your hair. 
“Could you just...keep holding me ?” 
He smiles softly, and says : 
“Of course.” 
He never, and never would, shy away from comforting you in any way. If you needed to have a good cry in his arms, so be it. And if you just needed him to be there, he would be there. 
You cuddled for a bit, the soothing circles he rubbed on your back doing wonders to make you feel relax. He brought some essential oils, that he massaged on your belly before filling the hot water bottle and laying it there...It relieved the pain a little bit, as you started a marathon of your favorite movies.
He took great care of you all day long, answering your every need even as you didn’t dare to ask...as if he could read your mind. You almost suspected he really could. You never felt so in phase with anyone before like you did with him.  
You had been together for less than a year. Although your anniversary was right around the corner. But him coming over as soon as he knew you weren’t feeling well. Him educating himself on what was it that hurt you...
If you weren’t sure yet that he was the one...You knew now. 
It sucks to be a woman, sometimes 
Bruce never knew periods could be that bad. Well, of course, he was a guy. And “periods” was never really a subject he talked about with anyone. He never really paid attention to it, like many men really. 
Until he saw you while on it. 
He knew you. He knew you were a tough lady. Once, you broke your leg while on a date with him. A silly accident really. Involving an ice rink, and an overzealous you chasing a hockey puck...Long story short, you ended up with a bad break. And you barely said a word about it. 
Bruce had his bones broken many times, he knew the pain of it. It was one of the pain he hated the most, along with burns. One he dreaded the most. And you took it like a champ. 
The break was bad enough you even needed surgery, yet you kept smiling at him (he might’ve feel bad that he let his over-competitive mind take over, “pushing” you to really want that puck...but of course, it was not his fault, after all, you too were very competitive, it was a pure accident). Saying you were fine, and that it’d be ok. 
He always hated seeing you hurt, it hurt him too. Inside. And scared the Hell out of him, to even think about you being harmed. So that day, he was rather frantic. You staying calm helped him, which made him feel a little guilty that even as you were the hurt one, you reassured him. 
But then you reminded him the roles were often reversed when he came back hurt from a rough vigilante night...You always had the right words to ease his mind. 
Anyway. That one time, after badly breaking your leg, you stayed rather calm and collected. But when you had your periods ? 
He never knew it could hurt so much. You couldn’t hide your pain, or pretend everything was alright. 
It was clearly a really bad moment to go through. 
He knew about the terrible migraines, being unable to sleep which made everything worst, feeling like your lower belly was being twisted from the inside, being sore all over for no reasons, not being able to move... 
Seeing you, was enough for him to know that periods sucked. 
“Being a woman is the worst, sometimes!” 
You’d often say during those moments, and he’d just soothe you, wishing he was in your place...
He hated when you were hurting. It hurt him too. Inside. 
And never. NEVER would he doubt that you were in real pain. Because unlike the doctors who kept telling you it was in your head, he knew you. He saw you get injured before. He knew you were tough. So for you to not be able to pretend everything was fine... 
You were hurting. Badly. And it was awful. But he believed you. He believed you and that’s all that mattered to you. 
Space
He also knew how to give you space when you needed it, though. 
He would be here if you needed him, bring you any food you craved, giving you relaxing massages, rubbing essential oils on your belly, filling up your hot water bottle etc etc. 
To be honest, his reaction to you being on your period is what made you sure he would be a great father one day...And you were right. 
Not a perfect father. 
But oh. Oh he cared. And wanted so much to do good...
And he knew. 
He knew exactly when he had to be there, and when he had to give you space. 
His hoodie
Bruce couldn’t always be with you when you had your periods, of course. 
He often took time off to be. But it was unrealistic to think he could be 24/7 with you the entire week. 
And sometimes, when he was away, you really suddenly craved his presence...So you came up with a trick. 
You stole his clothes. 
Particularly, hoodies he often wore when hanging out casually in the Manor. 
First of, they were very comfortable. And second, and most importantly : they smelled like him. 
They were warm, had his scent, and you could fall asleep feeling like he was almost there. 
Bruce couldn’t count the number of hoodies he lost to you....Then again, after a while, you’d ruthlessly abandon one because it stopped smelling like him, and would steal another one. 
Of course, he never minded. In fact, beyond the fact hoodies were nice and comfortable, he started to wear them a lot while in the house or during times he didn’t need to wear a suit (in every sense of the term), specifically because he knew you’d steal them when you felt lonely. 
It was cute. And it made his heart beat faster just thinking about it. 
Nobody. 
Nobody ever needed him that much before. Nobody ever loved him so much that sometimes him not being around was distressing. 
Of course, he felt the same. And the knowledge that you too, would sometimes feel lovesick when you were separated for too long...Filled his heart to the brim with the best feelings. 
For so long, he thought someone being dependable of him, and him being dependable of someone was bad...Oh, how he was wrong. 
It’s not because you open your heart to someone that you’ll get hurt, or that they’ll use it against you. You just have to find the right person... 
So. Yes. He will always cancel plans just to be with you. 
To bring you hot water bottles whenever you need. To cook your favorite food and snacks. To be there during all your mood swings, and endure even if you’re not the nicest to him (it’s not your fault). To watch your favorite movies. To let you sleep in and run your errands...
Periods sucked. 
He didn’t need to be a woman to know that. 
So he was there. Right there. For you. Taking care of you. And he would forever be there for that. 
But when he wasn’t ? 
Then he’d strategically leave one of his hoodie near the bed, so you could steal it, and comfort yourself with his smell...
Mood Swings 
“Brooooooooooosssssh...” 
You’re crying. You’re crying ! 
And it makes Bruce panic. You cry very rarely, so when you do it means something really bad must’ve happened or..or...
Bruce makes a quick calculation in his head and...Yup. 
It’s that time of the month again. 
Already ? Poor you.. 
This means that tomorrow, you’ll be a mess as everything will hurt too much, and today, the eve right before, you’re overly emotional. 
Hence you clinging to him right now, sobbing while repeating “I love you so much Bruce, I love you soooo much”. 
Hormones could really turn your head around. Right at the start of your period, before the pain, you had a rush of many emotions. 
You could either get very irritated for no reason (like “WHY IS THIS FLOOR ON THE FLOOR ?!”) or cry at everything. Right now, you were crying because you realized you loved your Broosh to death and you just had to tell him and you didn’t want him to go that night and...ah...
“It’s alright, it’s alright my love. You’re ok. We’re ok.” 
He lets you cry in his arms, of course. And already made the decision to not go out tonight, and stay with you. Kate could take over. He couldn’t leave knowing your emotions were doing quite a trick on you...
************
Your mood swings during your periods were particularly bad. 
You guessed it went in pairs with all the pain. Of course, not just one thing had to be exacerbated. Oh no. EVERYTHING bad about periods had to be turned to the max for you. Otherwise, were was the fun, right ? Sarcasm. 
You’d get irritated for no reasons. Then feel bad and cry for hours. To then feel ridiculously giddy once again for seemingly no reason...and then suddenly a burst of anxiety would attack you. 
It was a circus in your mind, and in your body. 
You couldn’t focus on anything. You couldn’t sleep properly. You felt awful all the time. Everything hurt. God...
And there he was. Bruce. Taking the brunt of your bad moods without saying a word. He knew it wasn’t your fault. That you didn’t mean it. That your hormones dictated your behavior against your own will. 
He knew. 
And he was there. 
He was there. 
“Every little moment is important, Son” - Thomas Wayne, to Bruce during the Flashpoint events.
“Bruce ? What are you doing here ? Thought you had important meetings ?”
“They weren’t that important.” 
“Really ? Lucious said-”
“Lucious is overdramatic. Anyway, Tim is taking care of it.” 
“...You’re letting our sixteen years old son taking care of the future of your company ?” 
“To be honest, he’s probably more competent about it than me.” 
“...That’s actually pretty accurate. But, why did you cancel things ?” 
“Because it’s this unpleasant time of the month, right ?”
“Oh. You don’t have to-” 
“I absolutely do.” 
Disappearing for a few seconds, your husbands comes back, wearing one of his favorite silk pajamas (and by “his” favorite, he really means : he knows you love them and think they look good on him, but won’t ever admit it because they’re “damn pajamas, it’s silly”...but he likes to please you). He then climbs in bed with you, and settles comfortable against you. 
“So, what’s the program today ?” 
This wasn’t unusual, for him to do this when you were on your periods. 
In fact, it was almost a ritual. Delegating his works to others, so he could take care of you. 
Ever since that first time, all those years ago, things didn’t change much. He would ask you what you need, you’d tell him, and he would do it happily. 
He knew it was a tough moment for you, physically, hormonally, mentally...Having your periods sucked. So he was there. Right there. 
The words his father...Well, not really his father. The “Thomas Wayne” of another dimension. What his father would’ve become if he died that fateful night, instead of his parents. Regardless, to him, it was his father. 
The father that never saw him grow up and became the man he was now...Yet who had important words for him. 
“Take advantage of every little moments, you never know when it’ll end.” 
Those words stuck with him. Because it was true. It only took a few seconds in an alleyway for his whole world to turn upside down...Why would it take any less for it to completely change now too ? 
What if something happened to you ? And he didn’t spend enough time by your side ? Or to his kids ? 
There was a time, being Batman was everything to Bruce. Because he was angry, lost, and devastated. 
But over the years...Over the years this role stayed important. But he expended his vision. He included others in it. 
So. Yes. He would treasure those small moments with you. And if it meant taking a day and night off to take care of you during a rough time, then he’d do it. If it meant missing work (both his works) because one of his children was sick, so be it. 
He was Batman. But he was also a husband. A father. 
And now...Now he knew his priorities. 
He’d never stop being Batman. Never. 
But he knew now. He knew there was more to life than this dark world he thought he’d get stuck in till the end of his life. 
“I was about to watch a movie.” 
“A movie it is. If you want me here, of course.” 
“Do you even have to ask ?” 
“To make sure you’re ok ? Always.” 
“-sigh- Yes. Yes Bruce, I want you here. I want nothing else, in fact.” 
“Ah, not even pop-corn ?”
“...Once we’ll have pop-corn, I’ll want nothing else.” 
“Um, why is there tampons in your drawer ??” 
One day, one of Bruce’s associate, Carlton, needed some paperworks to finish a deal, and came into his office. Bruce was on the phone, and gestured to him to just pick the papers up in one of his desk’s drawer. 
Only the man misunderstood and opened the wrong drawer and...
“What the-Why is there tampons and pads in your drawers ?”
He asked, half-bewildered half-amused. Bruce finished his phone call, and answered : 
“Why wouldn’t there be ?” 
“Um, are you a woman ?” 
“No, but my wife, who often come to this office, is.” 
“Jeez Louise Bruce, never pegged you to be such a simp haha ! Oh man, they’re even “organic”, how far can you go for one woman right ? Haha joking of course, or maybe..haha !” 
There was something in the tone Carlton took that brushed Bruce the wrong way. Something disrespectful and irritating. Not disrespectful to him, as if he cared to be called a “simp” (by a grown ass man by the way, which made it even more ridiculous). No. He didn’t care. But..This was his wife, they were talking about, in the end. 
“A...”simp” ? Because I have items who can be useful to my wife in my desk drawer ? A place in which she often comes, as I already said ?” 
His voice was cold, and Carlton definitely noticed. He always thought Bruce was an affable man, but sometimes...Sometimes he had something almost scary in his eyes. 
Ah, but Carlton wasn’t the kind of man to really take this things seriously. And he added : 
“Come on Bruce, don’t you think it’s a little ridiculous ?”
“No.” 
“I just think it’s funny you have a drawer full of those things.” 
“As I said, my wife comes by often, and might need it sometimes. I keep them here for her. It often came in handy you know.” 
“Don’t say that, that’s so gross.” 
“Why ?” 
“Just thinking about it.” 
“Just thinking about something my wife, but also yours by the way, have no control over ?” 
“My wife doesn’t- We just don’t talk about it.” 
“Well I guess yes. Or you wouldn’t react that way. Do you not take care of her when she has her periods ?” 
At the word “periods”, the man opened his eyes wide, which made your husband roll his. It truly TRULY baffled him that this dude was being grossed by OBJECTS and most likely didn’t take care of his wife ? How could you love someone and not want to comfort them ?! 
“Well, I don’t think she- I- She doesn’t - I ...It’s embarrassing, no ?”
“No.” 
“Well, maybe it’s not with your wife but with mine it has been. She asked me a few times to buy pads for her.” 
“Why would it be embarrassing ? I can assure you, nobody is going to think it’s for you.” 
Carlton’s face was steadily going red. He said : 
“It’s just something we don’t talk about.”
“Why not ?” 
“It’s just...gross and...” 
“Why is it gross though ? Why do you think that way ?” 
“I mean, you know what periods are right ?” 
“Of course I do. It’s something happening to a very large chunk of our population, and that is a natural phase in their life. Do you think your wife wants to have periods ? Most likely not. Mine definitely doesn’t. But she does. So I do keep pads and tampons here in case of an emergency, in case she has nothing else on her.” 
“Nothing else ?” 
“Do you think only pads and tampons exist for women’s periods ?” 
“I-”
“It’s not hard to read up on it a bit. Especially when someone as close as your own wife is a “victim” of it."
Awkard silence. Clearly, the man was uncomfortable. Bruce sighed, and said : 
“Just go take care of those papers.” 
Evidently relieved, his associate almost ran out of the room. 
Bruce kept thinking about how funny Carlton thought it was to have pads in his drawers. How he was about to mock him further before he got called out. “Simp”. If taking care of the woman he loved meant being a simp, then whatever. 
Bruce couldn’t stop thinking about his associate’s words. And it gave him an idea...
The next day, every newspapers and local news channel talked about how the (Y/N) Wayne Foundation gave millions of dollars to every school and public places in the country to provide free tampons and pads to women. And how Bruce Wayne became a huge advocate of the “period positivity” movement his wife started. 
“Periods shouldn’t be taboo.”, he said in his speech for the grand-opening of thousands and thousands of free pads distributors. 
When the kids are around. 
Dick 
Dick was little when he first witnessed what your periods did to you, and he downright panicked when you fainted in front of him while you two were shopping for Bruce’s birthday present ! 
That morning when you woke up, you knew you were going to have your periods. You always felt it in your bones, a little bit before it truly started...But you also promised little Dickie you’d help him chose a gift for your husband. 
You hated breaking your promises. Especially the one you made to your kid. He was just nine, and already experienced so many heartache...You couldn’t just break a promise you made to him, no matter what. 
So you went anyway, knowing there was a high chance you’d feel ill during the day. You were hoping, in fact, your periods wouldn’t truly start up until the evening, and so you could spend the day with your son. 
Alas...
“Mom ? Mom !? Someone help !!” 
Your fainting during your period never lasted long. Just a sudden drop of energy, feeling dizzy, and falling...you woke up fast. Opening your eyes to see your baby boy with tears in his eyes. You knew what happened, and reassured him immediately. 
You refused to call an ambulance, and instead called Alfred to ask if he could come pick you two up (you would NOT risk driving while in this state). 
And there you were, sitting on a bench with your son while waiting for Alfred who would be there as soon as it takes to get from Wayne Manor to Gotham’s City Center. 
“Are you sure you’re ok ?” 
“Yes, don’t worry, this is normal.”
“Fainting is not normal !” 
Dick looked so distressed...Should you tell him what was going on ? But he was such a young child. 
Ah. But you were amongst the people who thought that kids weren’t as stupid as many people thought. And that they could handle the truth, especially this kind of things. 
Understand what was happening to you would surely easy his mind. And make him understand, and act accordingly in the future. Wether with you, or a possible girlfriend ? 
So you do just that. 
You explain to him what is going on. You don’t give too many scientific details, but you explain as best you can so he understands. 
“And every women has it ?” 
“Every women have periods yes. But not everyone’s hurt.” 
“Why do yours hurt ?” 
“We don’t really know. I guess I wasn’t lucky ?”
“Scientists don’t know ?” 
“Well, research on it are rather recents to be honest.” 
“Why ? Women had it long ago too no ?” 
“Yes, but it was a little taboo.” 
“Why ?”
“Patriarchy.” 
“Oh, damn patriarchy.” 
You laugh. You knows he didn’t understand your answer, said as a joke to yourself. But it’s absolutely adorable how he immediately sides with you anyway. 
“When I grow up, I’ll be a scientist. So I can help.” 
“Ah, I thought you wanted to be an adventurer like Indiana Jones ? Or “whatever dad is doing I want to do it too” ?” 
“Well. I can do more than once things at the same time, right ?” 
“Sure you can. You can do anything.” 
He smiles at you, and get closer for a little cuddle. And that’s how Alfred finds you two, your son hugging you, and you hugging him back, on a bench in the streets... 
************
After the initial panic, Dick made it his mission to take care of you. He got really scared when he saw you faint, and would actually be a little...overbearing. 
When he knew you were on your periods, he’d literally forbid you to walk around, and would make sure you had everything you needed. 
His attentions, plus Bruce’s, made you feel like periods weren’t so bad in the end ? 
Even as a grown up, Dick would often come by the manor with your favorite cake, for example, when he knew you didn’t feel well. And he would still get strict with you if he saw you roaming around and getting too busy while he knew you were in pain. 
He’d do whatever you had to, for you. Wether it was cleaning things up, picking groceries...Running any errands for you, so you could rest. 
You were definitely grateful. Even if sometimes, you wish you could just tell him to ease up a bit...Ah. But how could you really ? 
The trauma Dick felt when loosing his parents made him overprotective and rather intransigeant. This was just how he was. And you always loved all your children unconditionally. You could take him being a bit too overprotective sometimes, because oh, oh he brought so much in your life...  
Jason 
You having really bad periods is the reason why when Jason, as a child or an adult, heard anyone say to a girl : “Jeez, why you so moody are you on your periods ?!”, would get mad. 
It was cute to see his little ten years old self lecture grown adults about it : “Periods are really tough on a girl ! It’s not their fault is they don’t feel well or have mood swings, be more empathetic !”. 
And it was still cute to see him as an adult glare at those who’d say this and give them a sermon about why it was wrong, and they better not say it again “or else” (and when a man like your son said the words “or else”, literally no one wanted to find out what he meant by it). 
Once, someone told him, sarcastically : 
“Wow, you drunk a lot of “respect women juice” huh ?” 
“What is that even suppose to mean ? I’m being a decent human being. You should try it sometimes. If respecting women is so foreign to you, that hearing me say what I said is funny and ridiculous, reassess your life mate.”
It’s really not like anyone really wanted to argue with your son. Besides the fact he was very tall, and as a vigilante definitely worked out a lot...he had a “dangerous” air about him. It was his eyes maybe, daring anyone to argue and making them understand he wouldn’t back down without a fight ? 
Ah. But if only people tried to look beyond that. If they only tried to know your son. 
They’d realize he’s the sweetest little buddy around.  
It surprised people that you still called him “little buddy” even as he was fast approaching his mid-twenties. But for you... 
For you he was still that little, sweet Jay he was before he died. The one that you could still see sometimes, behind all his anger, trauma and hurt. 
Ever since he was a child, Jason always felt everything more than anyone around him. He was an “hypersensitive” child. When he was angry, he was enraged. When he was happy, he was the happiest boy on Earth. When he was sad, it was hard to console him. 
When he grew up, and all those bad things happened to him...This trait of his got even more enhanced. It was sometimes hard to reach him under all those negative emotions...Yet. Yet you managed to do it. 
Bruce too...But that was another story. 
For now, you just always felt extremely proud that your son was actually not as harsh as some people thought (the same mistakes they all kept making about your husband...you hated this kind of assumptions). 
He always stood up for the underdogs. And was always respectful, and would voice his opinions. 
Like how he hated when people told women : “ugh are you on your periods ?!” if they were being just a tiny bit difficult (sometimes, not even). 
As a kid, Jason would worry a lot about you when you were on your periods. He hounded Bruce to know if you were ok, which your husband didn’t mind, of course. But he never quite dared to “bother you”. 
Of course, he would never bother you. But Jason was a complicated kid who always worried too much. He didn’t want to get in your way, or annoy you. 
So he had little quiet actions for you. 
Like getting your slippers warm when you’d wake up, by placing them near the radiators all night and putting them right beside your bed before you’d wake up. Or bringing you hot beverages. Baking your favorite treats, and leaving them in strategic places so you’d see it. Or scolding his dad when he thought he wasn’t taking care of you enough haha. 
Jason was a good kid. Nobody would ever change your mind on that. He was a good kid, to whom bad things happened. Yet he never strayed from his principles...No matter how people could see his recent actions. 
Jason was a good kid. 
He was your kid. 
As a child, he hated this week during which you had your periods. He dreaded them as much as you did. Just like Bruce, he had a hard time standing you being hurt...
As an adult. It was the same. And he still had little silent actions to make you feel better. To make your day easier. 
That was Jason for you. 
Such, such a good kid... 
Tim 
Tim, very much like his father, was a boy who needed to always have a plan, and to know everything before finding solutions. 
When you were on your periods, he’d always know. Because he kept a calendar about it. 
Some people might find it weird, but...Why ? He kept count of the days to know when you’d have your periods, so he could act accordingly. So he wouldn’t be caught off guard by one of your mood swings. And so he could take care of you ?? 
It was an act of care, to keep track of your periods. Sometimes, he even knew before you when you were going to have it. 
People who thought it was weird to kept such a calendar, were the same people who thought periods were gross and a taboo subject. 
Sure, it was definitely not very glamorous. But it was part of half of the World’s population life ?? Why keep it taboo and refusing to talk about it ? 
Tim immediately, just like his dad, did a lot of research on women’s menstruations...Which got you to be called in his principal’s office once. 
The man was worried, and unhappy that your son was reading a magazine “for woman” about “menstruations”, he thought the topic was vulgar and inappropriate. 
Your son was 13. Which was also the age many of his girl friends were experiencing their first periods. And that principal was out there, scolding him because he talked about it, making an entire generation of little girls thinking they were wrong for having periods ? 
Needless to say, you got rather mad. And the principle never called you ever again (if he had to call, he was always making sure to get your husband on the line, and not you).
And so Tim kept learning everything possible about it, in the hope also to find the perfect remedies to ease your pain. He tried a lot, to help you out. Gave tricks to Bruce, too. 
And so, kept a calendar. 
This allowed him to know if something was wrong, as well. 
He was the first one to guess you were pregnant with Thomas, because of his calendar. And one time, you had hormonal problems and he’s the one that told you you should check an endocrinologist because you’d been too irregular with your periods time ! 
Yes. Just like his dad, Tim needed to know a situation fully before acting. And seeing him trying to know as much as he could in order to help you was...why, it was the most adorable thing in the world. 
Cass
Cass’ periods were not painful, and you were so glad for her. 
To her, it was a mild annoyance, there was no pain, it was just irritating. And yes, she had mood swings and could easily get mad, but it was nothing major. 
She never even knew other women could have it so bad...The education about periods was really lacking ! They never talked about it anywhere ! 
Cass was a woman of few words...but she knew how to pass her emotions through her body language. Oh, how she knew. 
“Momma.” 
Just like your other kids, she’d come check on you when Bruce couldn’t take care of you. You wanted space sometimes, which they all understood. But honestly, during your periods, when you were so sensitive about everything ? You also wanted them around almost all the time. 
A paradox. Very fitting of those damn periods time. 
Cass would just sit with you, and make sure you were comfortable. She wouldn’t say a word. Lay her head on your shoulder, and hold your hand. Watch movies with you. Hold you close. 
She was delicate with you, as if afraid to break you. 
Just like your husband, her presence had a soothing effect ? As if nothing bad could ever happen to you as long as she was there (and that probably was right, Cassandra would never let anyone touch her “momma”).
She didn’t need to talk. She didn’t need to do anything more than stay with you when you didn’t want to be alone. 
She never experienced the pain you had, but if even to her, who had painless periods, it was annoying and a damn plague ? Then to you... 
She didn’t need to do much. 
Just her being there already meant a lot. 
Her holding onto you, even as she stayed afraid of anyone’s touch for so long. 
“Momma.” 
Cassandra was your only daughter. And oh you were glad her periods weren’t as bad as yours. That’s all that really mattered to you. 
“Momma.” 
You often fell asleep with the warmth of your kiddo right there. Next to you. Knowing she wasn’t going to leave unless you wanted to. Knowing she wish she could take your pain on. 
Ah. But no. No even if it was possible you’d never allow that. You were the mom. YOU were supposed to take their pains on. 
And knowing that Cass never suffered on her periods as bad as you did, was enough. After all, your baby suffered enough in the past...She could get a little lucky, right ? 
“Momma.” 
That word was music to your hear. Cass’ first word to you. 
She didn’t need to talk anyway. Being here was enough...
It was more than enough. 
Damian 
Everyone who saw Damian around you would notice that he wasn’t quite the same boy than "normally”. 
He was calmer, nicer, and sweeter. 
You’d argue that it was his real self. That this was his “normal”. That he was just never allowed to show his true heart before, and wasn’t used to trust others and open up. And you were definitely more than happy that he finally managed to do that after arriving into your home. 
That none of you ever gave up on him. 
You especially had a calming effect on him. After all, he never had a “conventional” mom, who could take care of him when he was sick, kiss him good night and make sure he always had everything he needed. 
Some would say you coddled him too much...And you didn’t care. Because that boy lived 10 years being the opposite of coddled. So what, if you’d cut the crust off of his sandwiches, or read him bed time stories every single night ? 
Damian loved it. As he often said, being a momma’s boy was “hardly something he was ashamed of”. He never felt loved and safe before, you bet he’d take every chance he got to be cared for. 
He never got to act like an actual kid. You allowed him to do just that, AND you made him feel like he belonged. Finally. Like he had an actual family. 
So...The day he heard about your absolutely awful periods, what did he do ? 
Every single day of your life with him, you had at least one nice intention to him. Wether it was baking his favorite cookies, or telling him how proud you were of him, you always had nothing but kindness for him, often going out of your way for your son. 
It was normal for you. Of course. And you did it with all your children...but you had to admit maybe Damian had just a little more of it, because he really never had anything like that to him. 
And to him, it only felt normal then, when you felt at your worst, that he’d be there for you exactly like you were there for him. 
During any mood swings, he’d have comforting words for you. He had little attentions for you that just made life easier. 
Again, it would greatly surprise anyone but his family, but when you had your periods, he did a lot of overly sappy little things. 
Like for example : every month, he wrote seven things he found extraordinary about you and would put them in a jar. Seven. The number of day in a week. And usually the number of day, give or take, your periods would last. 
The jar would be sitting right on your bedside table on the first day, with the indications you had to read one paper every morning, or every time you felt down (it was supposed to be one paper a day). Sometimes, you’d go through his seven messages in less than a day...and magically, the next day, the jar would be filled again. 
Damian made sure of it. 
This was just a small example. But it showed exactly what kind of boy your son really was. 
If he was heartless, a killer, someone destined to destroy the World...would he really put that much effort into making you feel love ? Into making you feel better any way he could ? 
You didn’t think so. The only way your son could ever “turn bad”, was if you (and Bruce) stopped caring for him. Left him alone (A/N : this is a CLEAR jab at current comics canon, if you know what I mean :I ). Only if he felt abandoned, unloved, and rejected. 
You knew your boy had, just like you, “rejection dysphoria”. It was hard for him to accept any kind of rejection, and it made him act out and hurt. But that was another story... 
Right now, all that mattered to you, is that you knew your son was always going to be there for you, just like you’d always be there for him. 
That he finally learned how to love, and care. That he would never unlearn it, as long as you lived. 
Your periods sucked. 
So bad. 
But Damian was a ray of light in the darkness of those seven dreaded days...
Duke 
Duke’s mom also had endometriosis. 
Over the years, he perfected a “special remedy” he always made her when she had her periods. 
He hesitated to make it for you. After all, it was something that made him bond greatly with his own mom...was making it for you, now, acceptable ? Did it mean he forgot about his mother ? 
No. No of course not. 
Duke scolded himself for even thinking that. You too, became his mom. He learned over the years that it was ok, to have two mom. That when they’ll find a cure for his parents, it wouldn’t take away the years you filled in for the mother role, and took care of Duke as if he was your own. 
So here we go. 
Some ginger. Some lemon. A dash of his little secret ingredients. Your favorite blend of tea. And it was done. 
He brought it to you, saying it always soothed his mom...
And just that. 
Just those words. It meant so much. 
“It always used to soothe my mom. Used to do it all the time, ever since I was five !” 
He said with a smile. 
It was something he used to do for his mom, and now he did it for you. Just this. Just that fact, it was enough to make you feel better. 
It didn’t take away the pain, but mentally ? It felt amazing. 
You drunk his concoction and...Oh god. 
Oh god it was disgusting. And...Ah. Yes. His mom probably pretended she liked it. “Ever since I was five !”. Ha. So cute. But also, it really was gross. 
At the same time, you felt a pleasant warmth spread through your body as the terrible aftertaste slowly faded. Duke smiled to you, and with a little mischief in his voice said : 
“It’s really gross, isn’t it ? But it does the trick haha” 
There was a few seconds of silence. During which you blinked at him, not quite registering what he just said. Until... 
You burst out laughing. The little mischievous smile, and the way he said “it’s really gross, isn’t it ?” was just too funny. 
Your communicative laugh spread to Duke, and as he laughs it makes you laugh even louder too and...You forget. 
For a moment you forget about your periods. The pain. The anguish. The emotional labor. This damn week of hell. 
You forget.
And you just laugh. 
You laugh alongside your son. 
Thomas (if you wonder who the H is Thomas, you can check my “Batmom” masterlists, he appears from the story “the great mall adventure” ^^)
Thomas must’ve been about four, when he first saw you having your periods. 
Your littlest baby was also one of the most sensitive out of them all (right along with Jason, the two of them cried their eyes out when they watched “Inside Out” and Bing Bong disappeared). Bruce always said he took that after you. And honestly, you couldn’t disagree. It’s true you could be very sensitive. 
So one morning, when he woke up and went to breakfast and heard you weren’t feeling right, he immediately went to you and...
Bruce found him an hour later, crying in his room. 
“Oh wow hey hey, what is it buddy ?” 
He asked, trying to hide the panic in his voice. Thomas might’ve been sensitive, but he rarely cried. He was just a very empathetic boy. But also a cheerful one, and he had a knack to see the good even in the worst situations. 
So seeing him sob like that, made Bruce’s heart drop. 
“Is mommy going to die ?!” 
It took Bruce a few seconds to get a hold of his racing heart. His son crying. And asking if you were going to die. It shortcircuited his brain for a few seconds. Until he realized what Thomas was talking about...
“Oh, oh no champ, no, mommy isn’t going to die.” 
Your kids were used to see you strong and fierce. Of course the first time your little one would see you on your period, he’d think something big was wrong.
He had just recently learned what death really mean (you can read about this here : The day he understand what Death means), and since then was so scared it’d happen to his parents. Or his siblings. Or anyone he knew, really... 
Picking up his son and slowly and softly tapping his back in soothing circles, he walked around the room and rocked him until the boy calmed down a bit, before trying to explain as best he could why mommy felt bad, without going in in too many details. 
Once Thomas understood this was just like when he got a fever that time, that it would pass, he felt much better. But also worst. Because his mommy wasn’t feeling well ! And it happened often ! 
Bruce reassured him that there were ways they could help you...And soooo : 
Thomas brought you hot water bottles, with the help of his dad (the bottles were almost as big as him), and ended up falling asleep  on one as it laid on your belly (he heard that humans’ body heat was very strong and wanted to “help the hot water bottle”). 
The water in the bottle became cold, and you removed it..Your son didn’t woke up, so you laid him back down on your belly. And he was warm and so tiny, and you loved him so much...It made you feel like the luckiest woman in the world, to be surrounded by people like this little one. 
And all your kids. Alfred. Your friends. Broosh...You fell asleep with sweet dreams made of warmth and cuddles. 
Not long after, Bruce came by to check on you, finding both you and Tommy deeply asleep and...An overwhelming feeling of happiness took him over. 
You weren’t the only one feeling lucky. Except for Bruce...For Bruce it was even stronger, because after his parents died, he never thought he would be happy ever again. 
This was why he’d always be there for you. You gave him another family... 
His schedule was freed, and he had a busy day. A nap sounded perfect. Especially while nestled against you, with his little one right there. 
Dick came by in the afternoon, and found all of you like this. Bruce holding both you and his son, Thomas taking way more space than such a small body would make you thing he’d take. 
Dick snapped a picture, and send it to the group chat he had with his siblings and some other close friends and such (like Clark, Wally, Conner, Diana etc etc they used the group chat to gossip about Bruce, mainly). With the caption : “Big bad bat tamed by a four year old”. 
Cass send multiple hearteyes emojis. Jason said it was adorable and send a crying emoji, and didn’t care one bit what anyone would think of him saying such things. Damian yelled at Dick that he should’ve put the comforter back up on his baby brother and mom because it wasn’t properly put on !! Duke send a : “I’m downloading that picture for the next time he gets mad at us and we need to soften him up”. Tim replied with a gif of Maes Hughes from Full Metal Alchemist saying : “dis dad”. Clark said “they look so peaceful, you wouldn’t believe he threatened me just yesterday to punch me because I made a joke” to which Diana answered : “that joke was so bad I wanted to punch you to. Cute pic btw, give kisses to Tommy for me, you should come see me more, I just stocked my freezer with nothing but ice creams”..Everyone send a little comment about it. 
Because even superheroes, could have normal conversations about those they love. 
Suffering alone is a thing of the past
It’s funny. You couldn’t even remember, now, what it felt like “before”. 
Before. 
Before you met Bruce.
Before that first time he showed up to your apartment to take care of you. 
How were your periods before that ? The worst. 
Definitely. 
Actual Hell.
Not that they were feeling better now. Oh no. There were time your overdramatic self exclaimed : “uuuugh just kill me alreadyyyy” when the pain was too grand...But you weren’t alone anymore. 
That’s what made it a bearable moment of the month. 
It still felt as bad as it used to when you were younger. 
But it wasn’t just you agonizing in your bedroom all alone anymore. 
It wasn’t you wishing you’d have someone to take care of you, and to try and ease the pain. Not anymore. 
It wasn’t you crying with nobody to dry your tears anymore...
No. You had an entire army of people right there just for you. 
Alfred, your children, and most of all...Bruce. 
Your Broosh. 
Ah. If only some people could see this side of him you and your family knew. The caring and loving one. In a way though, it was rather comforting and made you feel special, that only you and your kiddos knew the real Bruce ? 
Of course  nowadays, some of his closest friends like Clark and Diana weren’t fooled anymore either. But they’d never see him the way you did, when you were in unbearable pain, and he was right there, drawing soothing circle on your back, keeping you warm and safe... 
This was only privy to you. 
Your Broosh. 
Yes. 
Your periods were still as painful as they used to. But now...
Now you weren’t alone anymore. 
The end. 
________________________________________________
Hey guys ! I hope you liked this :). As usual, feedbacks and reblogs are always welcomed ! (Especially lately, the reblog ratio seems at its worst haha). And again, I really hope you liked this. I was finally able to sit down and write after weeks of  being stuck in a depressed mood, so I’m quite excited about sharing this. But as usual, always a bit nervous that you’ll be disappointed blahblahblah low self-esteem and all that haha... :). I just hope this is to your liking. Thank you.  
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HEY Ari-chan !!👋💛 I am very happy to find your account☺. I always read your scenario manager and I really like it. If its not bothering u I want to request Inarizaki and Shiratorizawa manager, where she is very careless and often falls. So I wanted to know how the team would react if their manager suddenly appeared with her hand with gips or some other wound. I hope you are always happy🥰❣. can we be friends 🥺and I become your 🐰anon? thank youuu
OMG HELLO BUNNY ANON!! 🐰 You're so cute, I'd love to be friends, and I'd be even more honoured if you were my anon!! Looking forward to receiving asks from you, my love 💖💖💖🐰
Thank you for your kind words and compliments, I'd be honoured to fulfill your request. Stay happy!!
Clumsy but adorable manager-chan!!
Characters: Shiratorizawa, Inarizaki
Warnings: none.
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Shiratorizawa
Our sweet eagle babies!! They're always very concerned and protective of you, since you're very prone to getting hurt during practice.
Once, Goshiki accidentally spiked the ball too hard and it hit your elbow, the team was absolutely frenzied! they stopped their practice at once to tend to you, and immediately resolve to making sure you're safe during their practices.
Goshiki: I'M SO SORRY Y/N-CHAN, PLEASE FORGIVE ME
Y/N: Goshiki, sweetheart, it's okay!
Goshiki: *tears up*
That's why they only practice when you are well and far away from the court, in fear of accidentally hurting you.
They're all very fond of you, your sweet smile, and gentle words, and treat you like a darling imouto.
Tendō: imouto-chan!
Y/n: Tendō, I'm your manager—
Tendō: anyways 💁
Goshiki feels so soft when it comes to you, since you're very special to him. Not only did you assure him you were fine when he accidentally hurt you, but you were constantly kind and genuine to him.
He follows you everywhere, and constantly carries a small box of precautionary items, such as band-aids and ointment if you accidentally trip or hurt yourself.
Shirabu is an absolute tsun tsun when it comes to you, and although he seems rough on the outside, internally he's just planning 50 different ways he can get you to hold his hand 😳🤚
Please hold his hand, he's been staring at you for so long 😭
Semi just wants you all for himself. He's constantly acting jealous and pulling you to his lap because he wants your eyes to be on him, and only him.
If you look away or don't give him attention, he'll be a total drama queen, and won't stop until you give him cuddles, or a kiss.
Semi: love me.
Y/n: n o
Semi: *tips her chin to face him, with the most adoring expression on his face* y/n-channn, just love me already 🥺🥺
Y/n: *gently kisses his cheek*
The rest of Shiratorizawa: -_- just date already.
So one day, you enter the gym and you have a really really bad wound on your knee, the boys almost faint when they see it, but since they've had a lot of experience with you getting injured they (kinda) know what to do.
Ushijima just gently picks you up (like you weigh nothing?? He has the strongest arms for a reason istg) and lays you on the bench.
Tendō cleans your wound with water, whilst Shirabu and Goshiki gently bandage it.
Semi is just gently stroking your hair and telling you everything will be okay as you wince in pain.
They make sure you're okay after that, and all use your wound as a reason to spoil you, even after it's healed.
Y/n: I'm telling you guys, I feel great now! It's all healed.
Shiratorizawa: no ❤️
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Inarizaki
MY FAVOURITE TEAM. I'm sure they're all huge softies when it comes to you, because you're like an adorable clumsy fox cub that just needs a lot of love.
Aran is just constantly holding your hand whenever the two of you are together, because he wants to "protect you from falling" (yea right Ojiro, you're pretty smooth)
Atsumu: is that really necessary?
Aran: *holds manager-chan's hand tighter* yes.
You sometimes fall when your shoelaces come untied, so Kita makes it a habit to tie your laces up for you whenever he sees them untied.
Our responsible captain doesn't want your falling, and he loves kneeling down and tying your laces with such care.
Akagi is the last person you should be with tbh. Since he's such a chaotic and energetic person, he makes you want to skip and forget all about your surroundings.
Which often causes you to fall, or hit things near you.😭😭
Atsumu has this sense of protectiveness every single time he looks at you, and he just needs?? to carry you??
Constantly scooping you up into his arms and holding you tight so that you can't move away.
Atsumu: y/n I love carrying you
Y/n, being carried by Atsumu: gee, really? -_-
But you secretly love it. It makes you feel safe, when you're in his arms, and you know you can't fall or hurt yourself.
One day, whilst you and the team are walking home after practice, you completely disregard a stone in the ground, and end up tripping on it.
The boys are just 😭😭😭😭😭 they can't believe it happened in front of them, and they could do nothing to help you.
Osamu gently kneels down and pours water on your scrapes. Your eyes are pooling with tears, so he leans over and kisses your forehead, in attempts of calming you down.
Suna piggy-back rides you home (since you live very close), and makes sure you're comfortable on his back.
Constantly asking you if you feel okay, with the warmest blush, because his tiny fox cub is with him, and he loves her so much 😭 how cute djdhsksk
Brings you home and makes sure you're alright, before pressing a kiss on your bandage where it hurts "because kisses help you heal" and leaves.
Tag-team: @raychii @dai-tsukki-desu @k-sakusa-old @pocket-of-anxiety ❤️ (DM to be added!)
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tickly-trashcan · 3 years
Text
Hashira Headcanons
ahhh I’ve been wanting to do this for a while now!! finally getting around to it hehe so I hope everyone enjoys these! I had a lot of fun with them~ They’re also pretty long so they’re under the cut! I’m still working through headcanon requests I’ve just been really into demon slayer lately and wanted to get something quick out~
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Giyuu Tomioka
he’s surprisingly ticklish?? like not screaming at a poke ticklish but more ticklish than one would expect
He’s also good at hiding it so not many people find out
That is, not many people knew until Shinobu found out and decided to point it out in front of all the other Hashira
When he was still training, he got tickled by Urokodaki a lot when he was training, and then by Sabito and Makomo when they were resting
He would always tickle Makomo and Sabito back (even though he ended up losing the eventual tickle fight anyway) but now he doesn’t really tickle people
He’s seen a lot and doesn’t laugh much, let alone smile
That said, some of the other Hashira tickle him sometimes, though it’s mostly Shinobu and Uzui, occassionally a poke from Mitsuri
It’s normally not enough to get him laughing, just enough to embarrass him though
Shinobu has gotten him to chuckle once and she’s never let him live it down
His most ticklish spots are probably his knees, sides, and his ribs
He almost never tickles other people, like he’s tickled Tanjiro once and it was very brief and accidental
I think he needs to laugh more though so like,,, get him Shinobu >:)
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Shinobu Kochou
She’s really ticklish omfg 
She also has the prettiest laugh? it’s so elegant waaaa
Her tickle spots are her tummy, sides and waist!
Not many people know she’s ticklish, aside from Mitsuri and a few people at the Butterfly Estate
When Kanao found out she was ticklish she flipped her coin and it was tails, so she decided to tickle Shinobu a little bit and she just let it happen because she knew that Kanao didn’t have any ill intent with it
Giyuu tickled her once because she was tickling him and she wasn’t expecting it and squeaked it was pretty funny
She has the MEANEST teases omggg
“Surely this doesn’t tickle, hmm? It does? Oh my... but you’re a demon slayer right? What if a tickle demon came after you~?”
She’s just,,, ruthless man
She also love love lovesss those gentle tickles when she’s dishing out on people
She can find peoples bad spots easily and just go after them with her NAILS
She and Mitsuri get into tickle fights on occassion, but Shinobu normally wins because she can fluster Mitsuri easily and combined with the gentle nail tickles, Mitsuri’s a goner
She has lost sometimes though because Mitsuri’s really damn strong and when she gets on Shinobu’s sides her chances of winning go down dramatically
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Kyojuro Rengoku
Rengoku, my beloved
He’s really not that ticklish, like he can get laughing or chuckling but it’s not easy
He only has a few spots, and I feel like one of them would definitely be his underarms
Like some of the other Hashira like Mitsuri or Shinobu have come up behind him and tried to tickle him and he’s like “Oh? A tickle fight? Cool!” and just pounces on them lmao
He’s definitely more of a ler than a lee, and he’s a really nice ler!
He compliments his lee, teasing on rare occassion and is just overall really fun and gentle too
Sometimes he can get a little rough but he always knows when to tone it back a little
He’s tickled the trio a little bit, especially Tanjiro who’s basically like his apprentice since he uses a similar breathing technique
He also tickles the other Hashira sometimes, mostly accidentally but other times just because he wants to
When he tickles people it’s mostly Mitsuri (which he gets glares from Obanai because of) and Shinobu, Obanai on occassion because of said glaring and just generally wanting to hear him laugh
He’s super playful in general but he’ll stop when asked to because he respects peoples limits
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Tengen Uzui
Okay another one that’s not very ticklish unless you get really specific spots lol
He’s ruthless as a ler, and he’s seldom the lee so he doesn’t understand peoples limits and stuff
He has the LOUDEST laugh once you get him going though, part of it is just him being overdramatic though
His tickle spots are his hips and his ears, two spots that are harder to get oof
Similar to Rengoku he’s pretty playful, but most of that is because he’s just generally flamboyant
He doesn’t tickle people too often, but he has definitely put a target on people like Giyuu and Sanemi lol rip them
He’ll tickle people until they’re hiccuping or in silent hysterics, he’s one of the people that doesn’t really register the word “stop”
That said he’s nicer with people he likes, such as Mitsuri or Rengoku because of their upbeat nature
He likes people he deems flamboyant enough, and since those two meet the requirements he’s nicer to them when it comes to tickling
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Muichiro Tokito
SWEET BABY BOY
okay so he’s actually really ticklish?? it’s so cute pls
He deserves gentle, sweet, and loving tickles, not the evil rough ones from Uzui lmao
Lighter tickles get him better than rough tickles anyway and he prefers when people are more gentle with him because he’s not a huge fan of being touched unless he really trusts the person
He’s ticklish pretty much everywhere, but some of his worse spots are his ribs, underarms and his neck
Teases don’t work on him, he’s completely oblivious to them lmao
He has the sweetest little giggle awww the other Hashira love to tickle him every so often just because he’s so cute and his face gets a little red too
He doesn’t really like being tickled unless it’s his friends or the other Hashira because he has respect for people closer to him
Mitsuri and Rengoku tickle him the most often, sometimes even together just to make him at least smile
He doesn’t tickle people very often because he knows if he initiates it with any of the other Hashira he’ll end up getting wrecked lol
He’s tried it before with Rengoku, never again
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Mitsuri Kanroji
MITSURI KANROJI MY BELOVED
Super ticklish, absolute baby, deserves it just for being so cute
Her tickle spots are her tummy, hips, and her ribs!
She’s generally very ticklish and just loves tickling, both dishing it and taking
She likes to tickle Obanai and Muichiro especially, but she’s tickled pretty much every pillar or at least tried to
She has the CUTEST laugh it’s like,, a bit squeaky and snorty but in the most endearing and adorable way? idk maybe i’m biased because I love her but she’s definitely got a cute laugh
She’s really teasy and she doesn’t even mean to be, she just loves to laugh along with her lee and watch their face go red
She’s very squirmy and giggly when people tickle her and she’s the type to start laughing when people just wiggle their fingers at her
her favorite person to tickle is probably Obanai because she just thinks his reactions are really cute and she loves his laugh, but Muichiro and Shinobu are also people she likes to tickle hehe
If she has access and is close enough with the person she’s definitely the type to give people raspberries
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Obanai Iguro
grrr this is gonna be so biased i love him too much
He’s very ticklish but he’s really good at controlling his reactions as long as he’s not caught off-guard 
His most ticklish spots are his hips, thighs, and his knees ouuGH
He has a really raspy laugh if anyone manages to get him to that point, for the most part he just gasps and chuckles occasionally
He’s not tickled very often and not even all the Hashira know he’s ticklish, only Mitsuri, Rengoku, and Gyomei really know that he’s ticklish and even then only Mitsuri and Rengoku actively tickle him when they’re not around the other Hashira
He’s really embarrassed with how ticklish he is so he doesn’t like people knowing, and the three that know respect that and don’t tell others
He doesn’t like being tickled either but he doesn’t seem to mind when Mitsuri does it but you definitely didn’t hear that from me hehe
Kaburamaru doesn’t mean to but sometimes he will like slither on Obanai’s neck and DAMN that tickles more than it should but he’s gotten a little bit more used to it as time has gone on
that said he still jumps a little bit if Kaburamaru does it really suddenly or quickly, or flicks his tongue near his ear or neck
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Gyomei Himejima
He’s not very ticklish and doesn’t tickle people very often, so he’s left out most of the time when it comes to tickle stuff :(
There was one rare occassion, it was probably because Muichiro had been tired from a mission but Gyomei picked him up to help him to bed and accidentally tickled the poor boy 
Of course, that led to a few gentle tickles as well, not enough to make him hysterical but just enough to make him giggle a little bit before falling asleep
Gyomei’s probably ticklish on his feet and his knees, spots that others normally don’t tickle and he probably doesn’t even know he’s ticklish
Mitsuri and Rengoku, even Uzui have tried tickling him before but they don’t get much of a reaction so they’ve kinda given up on tickling him
Of course they invite him to help tickle someone else, like if they’re ganging up on Giyuu or Sanemi, and every now and then he’ll join in
He’s very gentle, he’s almost over concious of whether or not he’s hurting someone so his touches are very soft and people hardly ever feel them sometimes
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Sanemi Shinazugawa
Not ticklish. at all
Even after he’s been tickled to tears by multiple people, he’ll never admit it
He hates it, he’s never liked it and definitely doesn’t like it now
He never initiates it and doesn’t tickle other people very often, but he’s like a toddler when he gets tickled he just turns into putty
He kicks and flails and throws threats out left and right, but he never acts on them because he’s too tired afterwards from kicking and screaming and laughing to actually enact any of his threats
His spots are under his arms and his ribs, specifically his upper ribs
He falls into hysterics pretty quickly just because he’s a drama queen but we still love him lol
He’s a bit,,, vengeful, but he doesn’t like to tickle other people that much
That said, the demon slayer code says that you can’t attack another demon slayer so he kinda has to tickle to get back
He’s a really hard tickler, he’s not good at it and it kinda hurts sometimes and he’s picky and choosy with who he actually gets revenge with
sometimes he’s really mean and gets revenge on someone who was walking by and is like “This is what you get for not helping me!” and its like what did they do?? literally nothing chill out Sanemi pls
He does target Giyuu sometimes though just because he’s an asshole lmao and he has like a vendetta against Giyuu for, again, literally no reason
That’s all I have for now, thanks for reading! 
pspsp if you wanna request any other demon slayer headcanons my requests for headcanons are open heheh~
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kiribaku-queen · 3 years
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The Blood King and his Queen [6]
Pairing: Bakugou x reader
Romance, Angst, Drama
Word count: 2.2K
Summary:  From being a mere servant girl to marrying the scariest prince in existence, your world changed right before your eyes. Exchanging places with the princess, you knew, wasn’t going to be easy. But could you have found love on the way? Or was it never meant to be?
A/N: I really need to stop writing so late at night... I finish writing sometimes at 2 or 3 in the morning but I have to wake up at 5:30!! God, why do I do that to myself?! But its all worth it because I love reading your comments and seeing your likes and shares <3
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[previous]                                                                                               [next]
You waved your arms in the air, signaling to his men where you were. How worried and concerned they looked couldn’t be explained with words. It was like they didn’t even look at him as their prince. They viewed him more as a close family member than their future king.
Everyone crowded around Bakugou wanting to be the one to help him up. But ultimately, it was Kirishima and Sero who supported him, one on each side as they helped sling his arms over their shoulders. Bakugou growled in pain every time he moved or took a step. Your eyebrows furrowed in concern and you couldn’t take your eyes off him. You deeply wanted to help him, but what more could you do? Sure, you helped stop the bleeding a little bit but surely there was something else you could do. You wanted to be the one he leaned on. You didn’t want to feel useless. And it was frustrating because you knew you could be of more help. You didn’t want to look like a princess who didn’t know how to do anything.
Mina happened to glance over at you while you mentally criticized yourself. Your hands were balled up in fists in front of you, your pouty lips were quivering, and you couldn’t take your eyes off the wounded prince. Mina’s eyes softened. She came up to you, took your hands in hers, and gave you a reassuring smile.
“Don’t worry about that drama queen. He’s going to be fine. He can handle a small cut like that. He’s not called the infamous Blood Prince for nothing,” Mina assured you, making you feel a little bit better but no doubt, still worried.
You all stopped to rest about that ambush. No one else was hurt and nothing had been taken, just a few broken carriages but that’s all. One soldier was setting up a fire to heat up some drinks, two of them were looking at a map and depicting which route was safest to cross, and another was tending to Bakugou’s wounds. Thankfully, there was a whole cart of medicine. They applied medicine skillfully to his cut. This must happen a lot that they know exactly what to do without a doctor. You could only watch as you sit next to him, your eyes never leaving his cut. As his soldier was about to cover his wound back up, you held your hand out to stop him.
“May I?” you offered. The soldier was taken aback at the request, not expecting you to offer your assistance but gladly let you after seeing your determined face.
“As you wish, princess,” he backed off to leave the rest to you. You took hold of the bandages and began to wrap them around his torso.
“You let me know if it starts to hurt again,” you demanded as you finished wrapping him up.
“I’ll be fine,” he grumbled. You didn’t like his answer so you tightened your knot a little too tight for his liking and he winced in pain.
“I’m serious,” you pouted. Bakugou could laugh at your reaction but decided against it.
“Is her highness upset with me?” he questioned and you couldn’t hold back your thoughts.
“How could you get hurt like that?” you exploded. “You had me so worried. What if you had gotten killed? What would I have done then? You shouldn’t let yourself get distracted, especially not because of me.” You were scolding him but Bakugou’s lips turned into a deep frown. He grabbed you by the wrists, making you face him.
“Surely her highness isn’t saying that she is not of importance?” his deep voice whispered, raising one eyebrow in curiosity. Having his face so close to yours made you flustered.
“Well…” you tried to say but couldn’t finish.
“To me, you are the most important person here. I would battle a hundred swordmen and lose all my limbs if it means that you are safe,” he said, seriously. Your lips parted in surprise by his sudden confession. When Bakugou snapped back to his senses, he was the one to become flustered this time.
“B-Because you are the future queen… o-of course,” he tried brushing off, looking away like it was nothing. Any feeling of happiness that you had slowly turned into disappointment. Of course, he was only protecting you because he thinks you are the princess, his future bride. If it was you, you were sure he wouldn’t be saying these things. But you tried to not let it get to you.
“Bakugou, princess!” you heard Sero’s voice behind you. You both turned to see Sero running towards you with two cups in his hands, careful not to spill its contents. “Freshly made. Drink it before it gets too cold.” He squatted, carefully giving you both a cup.
“Thank you,” you gave Sero a smile.
“Ah, also,” Sero stopped to pull out a map from his back pocket. “Kirishima was looking at the map again and if we go through this route, we can probably avoid any more bandits.” He said while showing Bakugou the new route.
“Can we still make it there in two days time?” Bakugou asked.
“Yes sir,” Sero said confidently.
“Good man. We’ll leave in 10,” Bakugou gave Sero a nod of approval. When he left, Bakugou attempted to get up from his position. He held onto the tree for support and grunted in pain as he started to stand.
“What are you doing?” you questioned, puzzled on what he was doing. Instinctively, you grabbed hold onto his arm to help support him.
“Leaving. I have to make sure everything is intact,” he said and still tried to stand tall. You pushed him back down and shoved the cup back in his hands.
“At least finish this. I’ll go do it for you,” you say. Before Bakugou had the chance to refuse your offer, you were already on your feet, running to the group of soldiers. Bakugou watched while you were frantically making sure that you had all the supplies and checking everything like he would. Although, being a rookie, you were bad at your job. The soldiers laughed, making you feel embarrassed yet welcomed by them. They told you everything you needed to check so that next time, you could do it yourself. With a smirk, Bakugou watched in amusement.
You traveled on the new route Kirishima had set for you all. But because it wasn’t the normal road they took, it was a bumpy ride with the ground being uneven. You thought you would be fine continuing on, but you became a little jumpy due to the recent events that just happened. Every snap of a twig or rustle of the bushes, you turned your head to make sure that no other bandits were sneaking up on you.
“Scared, princess?” Bakugou whispered in your ear. You huffed and crossed your arms.
“No,” you denied.
“Like I said, I’ll protect you no matter the cost,” he reminded you. He was loud enough for his other soldiers to hear. Mina gushed over his comment while the others had their mouths wide open. Bakugou? The Blood Prince? Saying these romantic remarks to a woman? Now this was a new sight to see. Kirishima, on the other hand, was smiling softly at the new couple. He couldn’t wait to see your relationship bloom into something beautiful.
Being that the road you were on was so uneven, you had to hold on tight so that you didn’t fall off the horse. At one point, the horse became scared, lifting on his hind legs. You gasped out loud and closed your eyes to brace yourself for a fall. But Bakugou had swooped his arm around your waist and stabilized both of you to stay on the horse.
“See, gotcha,” the prince teased. You covered your face so he couldn’t see how flushed your face was. Bakugou chuckled because he knew. He could tell you were flustered and that’s the exact reaction he wanted to get out of you.
As promised, in two days time, you made it to your next destination. What you saw wasn’t a lively town, filled with vibrant colors and a chorus of people. There were no food stands that sold a variety of foods and desserts. No whiff of saliva-inducing smells. No entertainment on the street for you to enjoy.
You saw a poor village; with run-down houses and starving people all over the streets. The atmosphere turned sad, like a gray cloud was constantly over this place. The life out of this town was completely sucked out. The image was so heartbreaking that you could break down in tears this very instant.
“Bakugou,” your voice cracked.
“I know,” he said, just as sad and disappointed you were, probably even more. “This is the other side of the kingdom that no one gets to see. Most of this kingdom is living in poverty. Everyone knows of the more lavish side, but in reality, what you are currently seeing is most of my kingdom. There are two completely different worlds here but no one, not my brothers not the kind, is doing anything about it. I don’t even know how to fix it.” He explained. You reached a certain, open area and Bakugou got off, so did every soldier. They began unloading all their supplies. You could see a line starting to form not far from you guys.
“And this is the only way I can think of to help,” he said, offering his hand to you. You took it, hoping off the horse.
“How often do you do this?” you ask, still in shock with what you were seeing.
“Every month or so? I try as often as I can,” he replied as he also started unpacking the crates from the cart. Food, medicine, spare clothes, they had it all. The realization hit you. So that’s why they packed so many things in the beginning. It was for his people. His men were almost done setting up, getting ready to pass out rations to his people. But you were standing to the side awkwardly.
No. There was no doubt in your mind that you wanted to help him. You moved to stand next to Bakugou, proactively helping to pass out food rations.
“You don’t have to do this, you know. Aren’t you embarrassed as a princess?” Bakugou asked without sparing you a glance.
“Never. I want to help,” you said as confidently as you could, giving him eyes of determination. Bakugou finally looked at you, his heart skipping a beat again. He coughed, beating on his chest a few times.
You smiled at everyone who came in line, welcoming them without a single judgment. You looked down the line and all his soldiers were doing the same thing. They do this so often that the people recognize them and are laughing and having a good time. For living in such poor conditions, their spirits weren’t down.
After every single person had gotten their rations, you thought the work was over. Oh, how you were wrong. Once that was over with, his men started carrying out more things from the crates. This time, it was wood. They were going to help repair some homes. You were going to find Bakugou but immediately turned around when he took his cape and you saw him completely shirtless.
“You can sit this one out princess. This’ll get a little messy,” he advised. But you shook your head, still facing away from him.
“No, I want to help!” you were still determined. He chuckled at you.
“If you want to help, you’re gonna have to face the other way,” he pointed out. You took a deep breath and had the courage to face him. But only, your stare was straight down at the floor instead of him. How could you? With him being shirtless and all. Was that even necessary?
Bakugou took an axe and started chopping some wood. Your job was to bring the chopped wood to his soldiers who were the ones building the houses.
You eventually got tired bringing the wood back and forth, so you took a seat next to Bakugou who was nonstop chopping wood. The sweat was glistening his body in a godly matter. You couldn’t take your eyes away from his chest, that was heaving up and down. And then add some sweat? Phew, it made you feel hot.
“How long as this been going on?” you started a conversation.
“Ha?” he turned to you, not expecting you say anything so he was a tad out of it. “Ah, all my life.” He said. He decided that he’ll take a break too. He put down the axe and sat down next to you.
“If my father didn’t lie, these people probably wouldn’t be living like this,” he commented.
“Your father lied?” you asked curiously. Bakugou couldn’t believe that he was actually saying this, but he felt comfortable enough with you that he did.
“When he became King, he promised that he would protect every life in his kingdom. But look at all these people. They are suffering and dying because they are not getting the help that they need. And my father is neglecting them! He is a liar who couldn’t commit to a promise!” Bakugou started getting heated up. “That’s why I hate liars. I’ll ruin anyone who lies to me.”
And when he said that, your heart physically dropped.
A/N: Can I just say, you're gonna LOVE the next chapter. I literally just know it because I LOVE IT!
Also, does anyone else just read these chapters and think of it as an anime? No? Just me? Honestly, if I'm the only one that does this I'm gonna feel like such an idiot.
If you want to be added to the taglist, please comment or DM me and I'll gladly add you!!!
Tagged: @superblyspeedydragon @melasnchz-things @animexholic @bkgwrites @sam-i-am-1025 @apexqueenie @katsukibabe @germfart3 @tspice283 @angie-1306 @bakugous-trauma @bakugousmrs @random-fandom-girl-24 @monetfatalia @triviajeongin @readingslumpfanfic @softredrobin
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emma-d-klutz · 3 years
Text
IF I were to write a Maribat fic
It would be mostly a played for comedy and drama take on “Marinette picked up this whole Bat thing way too quickly.”
Like, post Miracle Queen, Marinette is just overtaken with so much guilt about Master Fu and is also desperate for a new mentor to be a replacement and a distraction from the blame she puts on herself and the burden of being the new Guardian. She is absolutely sure she is not ready to be in charge.
She calls Damian and asks for an audience with Batman. Damian is like, “Oh, isn’t this the girl who kicked me out of Paris? What was it you said? ‘No Gothamites in my city.’ Isn’t that what you said? Didn’t you say you can’t have our “type” of vigilante in Paris, because we’re too, what was it, overemotional? Is this that girl who is on my com right now? The one who rejected joining the Teen Titans? That’s you? You want me to TALK to my FATHER? I would barely ask him a favor for someone I actually LIKE.” Except then she kind of blows up at him and tells him the situation, and Damian gets real quiet and listens, and he feels a little sick because he’s remembering the Ric Grayson situation and also Alfred’s most recent death, which he ALSO blames himself for, so like... they got shit in common. He says he’ll talk to Batman about a video call.
Cut to three months later, Marinette has just THROWN HERSELF into being Batman’s disciple. She calls him Master. She practices fighting day and night out of the suit, and IN the suit she uses her powers for training and is often seen sprinting for miles or scaling the Eiffel Tower with only her upper body strength. She comes to school covered in bruises and with the darkest circles under her eyes, and her friends are WORRIED, they really are, but she’s like 80% less bubbly then usual, so no one is really confronting her and are just silently wondering what the heck happened. Most people assume that this has something to do with her taking Adrien and Kagami being an official couple really hard. 
For fashion design, well. Marinette has gotten really into armor lately.... huh.  (It’s because the Batfam encourages her to not rely on a magic suit that can turn off at the worse time, and she is convinced she must be prepared to be Ladybug at any and all times. If anything, she’s lamenting that she doesn’t know how to make weapons.) (She got a grappling hook styled like a yo yo as a present from Master Bat.) 
She texts Kagami out of the blue one day like,  >>Hey. Come over. I am in the process of making my masterwork >>Oh and bring a sword >>A sharpened one, not a training sword And Kagami comes over to see a twitchy (”ok that’s pretty normal”) super serious (”well that’s not. she’s usually so flighty and indecisive”) Marinette. And in the place where there was once an Adrian shrine and stalking schedule is now what seems to be a Hawkmoth shrine and stalking schedule. Marinette brings out what looks sort of like shiny silk with jewels woven in, and Kagami’s assumption is corrected. No. It’s a polymerized titanium she synthesized herself with light elemental defense crystals woven in by hand. Marinette is very proud. It’s a prototype. She plans on making a material that can be beautiful formalwear and as stab-proof as any kevlar. But it’s still a prototype so Kagami can you pretty please do some slashing and stabbing on it pretty please? See she wants it to be really good before giving it to her other Sword Friend, because Dami is a really harsh judge, and her motivation just won’t be able to take it if she gets notes from him this early on in the process. Kagami is actually really on board and helpful in this venture. 
She does like indirectly ask Marinette if she’s heartbroken of if she’s with Luka or what have you, and Marinette just gets really harsh and says she has other priorities. She also makes some grandiose proclamation that neither of them are good enough for Adrien, because Adrien is pure goodness, he’s kindness and forgiveness personified, and it’s just... it’s just... it would be really clear to anyone who has ever heard Batman wax poetic about Superman where she is getting this highkey cringe behavior.
She’s on video calls with Batman all the time. They definitely have a conversation that goes something like this:
“I am certain the mean girl from my school is working for my main supervillain.” “Good. You can find him through her.” “Yess! I have been looking forward to the chance. I am going to interrogate her.” “Ladybug, no.” “I am going to tie her up with my yoyo and dangle her over the highest skyscraper in Paris and tell her I’ll drop her if she doesn’t tell me the identity and location of Hawkmoth.” “Befriend her at school and track her movements.” “Ok but wouldn’t it be quicker to dangle her off a building?” “You’re letting your emotions about someone from your civilian life interfere with your judgement and letting yourself act hastily and with negligence, which is exactly how you lost your first mentor.” “Ah....... you’re right. I’m sorry, Master. I won’t be reckless.” “Good. Tap her cell phone.”
As for Chat Noir, he is FREAKED OUT by her change and all the secrets she’s keeping now. And her behavior towards him has REALLY changed. Well not too much, but it’s noticeable in a way that unnerves him sometimes. Like she’s become a super serious workaholic, but she’s also insanely protective of him, to the point where he feels a bit resentful that he’s not being treated as a competent partner. He’s really trying to get Ladybug to talk out what she’s going through, and he’s anxious all the time that she’s on the cusp of becoming akumatized. Honestly, he’s not wrong on that part. He knows that this is all because she blames herself for Master Fu, and he is also aware that she is spending much more time in contact with that Robin from Gotham who they met once or twice, and he knows she’s keeping some secrets, but NO he is not aware for at least half of the story that she is being remotely trained by Batman. She’s telling him to shut up a lot more and bossing him around more and seems to know way more about Hawkmoth’s movements than him and it feels like he’s out of the loop, but she’s also, like, often spewing out how important he is to her as her partner and keeps giving him handmade pastries and saying, “An army crawls on its stomache,” so like honestly wtf mixed signals much
Batman agreed to mentor her temporarily and has been trying to find someone else from JL to take over, preferably Wonder Woman or Flash, because he agrees with Ladybug’s assessment that to be a hero in Paris it is necessary to have weaponized optimism, or Zatanna or Shazaam, because they could train Ladybug in her magic hopefully. He is told several times that it would be easier to get her mentorship if she agreed to join Teen Titans or Young Justice, which of course they all know, so thanks, but Ladybug would def refuse to leave Paris and her partner, so her joining YJ isn’t really up for discussion. 
Flash said that she’s great but that, “She’s SUCH a Bat,” and that clearly she’s so attached to him that she should just stay one of his. Batman asserts that she is only being like this because she is desperate for a mentor, and if someone else took her on, she’d probably/hopefully change again just as fast. Flash says he isn’t so sure, and that at this delicate point in time, being handed off to someone else might, like, retraumatize her or smth. 
Ladybug literally started breaking fingers interrogating someone.
It is on camera.
The LadyBlog is in SHOCK.
No one knows what to do.
Even Hawkmoth sees the video footage and is like, “Jeez, am I... Mayura, are we in over our heads here? Did we break the teen hero? Is this our fault?”
Anyway, those are all my favorite ideas of the ones I’ve daydreamed so far. There is also stuff about how she interacts with the other members of the Batfam and that she uses the Horse Miraculous to travel to Gotham to be trained in hand-to-hand and also to just sob for hours and scream at things because she CAN’T let her emotions out like that in Paris and the bafflement of the Batkids like “you... came to GOTHAM... to NOT repress your emotions. um, k.” And Cass loves her and thinks she is Baby Sister and if someone is mean to baby sister in front of her she will stare into your soul until you are quiet ect ect many ideas. 
The reason this is an IF and not a WHEN:
dudes I have no plot
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rosyfingereddawnn · 3 years
Text
That’s The Way (Chapter 4)
Pairing: Jimmy Page x Reader
Word count: 5.7k
Warning(s): Jimmy and Y/N falling in love at first sight🥺, nsfw insinuations in the beginning but nothing bad, language
Author’s notes: It’s Jimmy time, mates! I’m so sorry for making you wait so long! Slow burns can suck like that sometimes. I hope you’re enjoying the plot so far, and that it wasn’t what you expected! There’s so much more drama to come, though, so I hope you’re excited for that😂 As usual, please enjoy, happy reading, and send us messages if you have theories, comments, music recommendations for the playlist, or if you want to be added to the tag list :)
Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3
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Y/N’s train ride home from The Yardbirds’ hotel was a constant swirl of what the fucks booming in her mind: what the fuck just happened, what the fuck does this mean, what the fuck am I doing, what the fuck is Jim doing, what the fuck will this become?  
Out of all the things on God’s good, green earth he could have wanted, he wanted her to kiss him. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Y/N thought when she initially heard the request. Then, when she questioned it, he escalated it to a blowjob since she thought a kiss was “too tame.” Y/N eventually did kiss Jim, as he wished. She was pretty sure that he still wanted her to kiss him after his little upgrade, and boy, was she right. ‘He called me a princess’, she remembered...what the hell was that supposed to mean?
As contradictory as it was, her mind was racing with so many thoughts, yet, at the same time, none at all. She was in overdrive, unable to think straight. Y/N forced herself to come to her senses as the train neared her stop, since her parents could not see the sheer bewilderment in her eyes and facial expression as she walked into her home. They would ask question after question, interrogating her as if she had committed a crime they had to get to the bottom of. She had to admit, reluctantly, that this was exciting. The star-studded aspect of it, the secrecy… It was a rollercoaster ride, yet Y/N wasn’t sure she wanted to get off anytime soon. In the back of her mind, though, she knew this little dalliance wasn’t going to lead to anything serious.
Jim, however, currently sitting at the foot of his bed in an empty hotel room, was in a complete daze. He couldn’t comprehend that this was reality. The most beautiful girl in the whole world had just sucked him off, and then kissed him! She was completely obedient yet willing, and adorably shy, blushing every two seconds. But the kiss. It was dizzyingly soft, sweet, and passionate on her part. To Jim, this meeting of lips was perfect. Addictive. Devastatingly addictive, like a drug. He wanted more. Her lips were something else to taste and feel. He wondered if she would ever come back to him with intimate intentions. Perhaps even to spend the night, or something even more serious. By the way she so often smiled in a bright and enthusiastic way, Jim thought she just might. He had come to the conclusion, after continuously replaying what had happened just minutes ago in his head, that he was falling hopelessly in love with this girl. His Y/N.
Jim had never felt like this before.
And he didn’t know what to do about it.
~~~~~~~~
A few weeks later...
Y/N’s mum had sent her and her brother Charlie by train into London to go grocery shopping, and perhaps to visit Carnaby Street, Portobello Market, and the Oxfam charity shops to get some new clothes for themselves. Pushing the cart around the supermarket, Y/N and Charlie looked intently at the handwritten list their mum had given them.
“Alright, what do we need next?” Y/N asked, her head tilted to see the small piece of paper.
“Uh, we still have to get oatmeal, eggs, and some fruits and vegetables,” Charlie replied, mirroring Y/N’s position as he gazed down at the list in his hands, which was slowly being painted with black ink. They were making good time, all things considered.
“Let’s go to the produce section then, so we can get everything all in one go,” Y/N decided, starting to push the cart in that direction.
“Yeah, that makes sense.” Charlie’s nod served as confirmation, and the two walked on, gazes captured every-so-often by the gaggle of people passing by.
Once the two siblings reached their desired destination, Y/N began inspecting the clear clamshell containers of assorted berries as Charlie went to fetch a bag of broccoli florets and a variety of potatoes. As Y/N began placing the fruit in the cart, she heard a familiar voice calling her name.
She turned around to see a very domestic-looking Jeff Beck, pushing around a grocery cart, just like she was. It was odd to see him going about his life as though he was just an ordinary working-class man, especially being the revered guitar god he was. Y/N laughed at the sight as he came over towards her.
“Hi Jeff,” Y/N greeted, walking over to give him a hug.
“Hello darling,” he responded, tilting the girl back and forth in the hug, long arms cradling her against his chest. “How are you doing?”
Y/N looked at him with a small grin after pulling away. An exhale passes through pursed lips as she replies. “As well as I can be, I guess. How ‘bout you?”
“Can’t complain,” he smiled, which then turned a little more solemn. He reached out a hand to place on her upper arm in solace. “I’m still really sorry about Sam, love. I wish I could’ve told you, but he swore me to secrecy… and I don’t want to lose my job just yet.”
“Don’t worry about it, I completely understand. It’s not your fault.” Y/N’s chuckle chimed through the air, much like the birdsongs that seemed to fill the space around them, and she paused, “I’ve done quite a bit of soul-searching recently, and I don’t think I truly loved him...the situation was all so new and exciting, that it made me believe I did. But now, I realize I didn’t.”
“I’m glad you found the light at the end of the tunnel, kid. But that’s life, Y/N. You win some and you lose some.”
“Thank you, Jeff. Really. For being so supportive,” Y/N said in gratitude, as Jeff flashed her a toothy smile.
“Ah, don’t mention it...actually, it’s funny I ran into you because I was actually going to call you, but I… may have lost your number.” A sheepish hand ran through the short hair at the nape of his neck, and Y/N giggles at the man’s hesitancy.
“That’s okay. Here, I’ll write it down for you,” Y/N grinned as she took out a spare piece of paper and a pen from her bag, “what did you need to call me for?”
Jeff watched Y/N’s hands as she scribbled down her number. Her handwriting was neat, soft spirals decorating the ends of her letters. Playful, yet full of grace. Just like her, Jeff thought. “There’s a May Ball at Queen’s College in Oxford on the 18th, and I was wondering if you’d like to come. It’s outdoors, and it should be a nice day.”
As Y/N handed Jeff the piece of paper, he continued. “More importantly, a good friend of mine is attending, and I thought you would like to meet him. You two are pretty similar, so I think you’ll hit it off really well.”
“Do you mean that this meeting is supposed to be a sort of… romantic proposition?” Y/N tilted her head in playful confusion.
Jeff smirked. “Not necessarily. He’s friends with the rest of the guys, so it’s only fair that you meet him, since we consider you a part of our inner circle.”
Y/N grinned at his statement, shaking her head, a chuckle tumbling past her lips. “Well, for the record, Jeff, I’m retired from dating for a while,” she admitted, “the whole thing with Paul shook me up a bit, and I need time to trust again, y’know?”
“Yeah, I understand. But my friend is a nice bloke, so I don’t think you’ll have to worry too much, or put up a front. If you’re uncomfortable, of course we can—”
Charlie came running up to Y/N’s cart and placed the bags of broccoli and potatoes inside. He then stood next to Y/N to see this stranger that she was talking to. Jeff noticed the little boy who suddenly appeared next to Y/N, and smiled warmly. Pointing to the boy, and changing his voice to be a bit gentler than usual, he asked, “Who’s this, Y/N?”
“This is my little brother Charlie,” Y/N said, softly putting her hand on her brother’s back, bringing him to the forefront. Charlie widely smiled at Jeff, baring his childish grin that was missing a couple teeth. Charlie couldn't wait until they grew in, because it would “finally make him look like a real man”, as he exclaimed so often at home.
Jeff crouched down to Charlie’s level and stuck out his hand to shake Charlie’s. “Nice to meet ya, mate. I’m Jeff, a friend of your sister’s.”
Charlie’s eyes widened as he recognized who this man was. “Jeff Beck?” Charlie asked hopefully, “as in the guitar god, Jeff Beck?”
Jeff chuckled as he looked up at Y/N. “Is this the shit you’ve been feeding him?” Y/N nodded and laughed.
“There’s an ounce of truth in that statement, isn't there, Beck?”
“Yes, I’m Jeff Beck, but I’m just the lead guitarist for The Yardbirds. The guitar god title goes to Hendrix, or Scotty Moore,” Jeff explained. What a humble change of pace for Jeff, Y/N thought.
Jeff stood back up and walked with Y/N and her brother throughout the store, pushing their carts in sync and grabbing food as they went. He asked her about what she was up to musically, and she talked about how she was polishing up some Debussy and Rachmaninoff pieces, as well as fiddling around with some old Fats Domino and Everly Brothers records. Charlie and Jeff bonded over their love of cars, which made Y/N very happy.
~~~~~~~~
18th June 1966
The day of the May Ball came. Y/N was excited for the show, but she didn’t want a sour encounter with Paul to ruin her good time. Jeff had called her earlier in the week to give her instructions on what to do upon arrival, and how to access the backstage area safely.
The backstage area was a white tent with the sides covered. Inside, there were multiple long tables of different distinguished people, such as Mama Cass and Graham Nash. Alcohol and little finger foods littered the tables, served in such abundance that it seemed no one was going to see tomorrow.
Y/N walked over to where she saw her friends, and upon spotting the girl, they all waved and said their cheerful hellos. Y/N walked over to sit with them, and ended up taking a seat between Chris and Jeff, crossing her legs and folding her hands in a sophisticated manner, always the lady she was taught to be. She chose her seat at the table very carefully, sitting very far away from Paul Samwell-Smith.
As everyone chatted away, she noticed there was a tall, thin young man with short, dark wavy hair who sat down in a seat between Jeff and Keith, delicately holding a flute of champagne. He was looped back into the conversation immediately, as if he had known the band his whole life. When Y/N saw him, her heart stopped.
This new boy was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. He looked like an English James Dean; with the kind of attractiveness that anyone, male or female, completely swooned over with a single glance. This stranger could get anything he wanted at the drop of a hat, with his gorgeous looks and his graceful countenance. He had a sullen, mysterious edge to him, but he also looked gentle and sweet at the same time. He had eyes as green as a forest full of lush deciduous trees, flawlessly framed by dark, bushy eyebrows and accented by long, thick eyelashes. His nose was adorable, petite as it was, and his lips were full and pouty. His smile and laugh made Y/N melt on the inside, his perfectly straight teeth illuminating his porcelain face.
For a moment, Y/N thought she was in love. She was pulled back from her daydream quickly, though, because Jeff realized that now was the perfect opportunity to introduce his two friends.
“Y/N, this is my friend Jimmy, who I was telling you about,” Jeff said, getting Y/N’s attention. Y/N grinned as she refocused on the situation.
Jimmy turned towards Jeff when he heard his name, and that’s when he saw the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, sitting right next to Jeff. Lucky bastard.
His breath hitched in his throat upon sight of this girl. She was perfect; she looked like an actual angel. The way her hair, soft-looking and slightly wispy in the light summer wind, cascaded down her shoulders; her doe-eyes seemed to twinkle in the dimming light of day, pulling him in like the strongest of currents. Her  pillowy, supple lips encased a perfect smile, slightly crooked. It was, like the rest of her, completely endearing.
It was then, looking at this beautiful woman, (Y/N… Jeff had said her name, hadn't he?) that Jimmy remembers he was taken. His girlfriend, Jackie DeShannon, was waiting for him at home, but he only had eyes for the girl in front of him, and it would stay that way, it seemed.. He had to get to know her.
Jimmy snapped out of his hypnosis in the nick of time. He softly smiled at Y/N, a smile that made Y/N’s insides lurch, holding out his hand for her to shake as he turned on the charm. “Jimmy Page,” he initiated, his voice being softer and more calming than Y/N expected.
Y/N shyly smiled at him, a dark pink flush gracing her natural complexion, as she reached out to grasp his hand. “Y/N Y/L/N. It’s so nice to finally meet you. Jeff has told me about you.”
“All good things, I hope,” Jimmy chuckled.
“Yeah, I’d say so,” Y/N beamed, a feigned contemplative look on her face.
“How do you know Jeff?” Jimmy asked, turning his body towards her, now fully invested in getting to know Y/N.
“I met him...a year ago I wanna say? Is that right, Jeff? At a Yardbirds gig at the Marquee,” Y/N asked for clarification. The last thing she wanted to do is lie about Jeff to Jimmy, even if it was something as insignificant as this. In addition, she wanted to use Jeff as a temporary crutch in the conversation. Jimmy’s beauty was making her feel shyer than she already was; she felt as if she was curling into herself.
“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Jeff intervened, “but she didn’t just meet me, she met the whole band.”
Jeff immediately noticed that the band was leaving the table to get ready to go on stage. Jimmy and Y/N didn’t even notice the table’s departure because they were so wrapped up in each other’s presence and words. Jimmy even moved a seat over to get closer to Y/N, although he said it was an attempt to “hear her better since the room was so loud of drunken buffoons”. Y/N had giggled at that, and it had sounded like music to the man’s ears. Jimmy was completely taken with her, as easy as it was to see.
“Wait, so how do you know Jeff?” Y/N asked curiously.
“I've known him since I was… gosh… thirteen or fourteen? We bonded over the guitar and blues. Indian music, too,” Jimmy grinned, taking a sip of his warming champagne.
“You play the guitar too?” Y/N gasped. Jimmy nodded his head enthusiastically.
“Oh jeez, I should’ve known! No wonder you’re tight with the Yardbirds,” she giggled.
Jimmy’s eyes twinkled at her now-flustered demeanor. “You’re okay, Y/N,” he chuckled, placing a hand gently on her forearm. Y/N felt her entire body break out into chills.
“I’m a session musician, actually,” he began, his hand lingering on the girl’s arm, for what seemed like a millennium to Y/N. “I’d hate to simplistically explain what a session musician is to someone like you if you already know what it is.” It sounded like he was holding back a bout of embarrassed laughter. “You must be quite intelligent, especially in matters of music, if Jeff has stuck by you for all this time.”
Y/N smiled bashfully. He’s so sensitive, she thought dreamily. “Yes, I know what a session musician is,” she giggled, “I’ve been a piano player all my life, so I know a thing or two about what you blokes are talking about when it comes to music.”
Jimmy’s heart began to thump a little faster as his smile widened. “Wow! That’s brilliant. Are you classically trained then?”
“Yes, but I do know quite a bit of blues numbers.”
“Oh, so you really know what you’re talking about! I have to admit, although I am a session musician, I’m not particularly good at reading music. Maybe you could teach me a few things about sight reading and we can jam some time?”
Y/N blushed as her lips pursed together in a grin. “I would love that. We’d have so much fun!” The way that Y/N’s full lips twisted together in a smile looked so damn kissable to Jimmy.
“My girlfriend was actually supposed to teach me music theory, but we never got around to it, unfortunately,” Jimmy continued.
“Ah, okay. Well, if you give me a time, date, and place, we can definitely make it work,” Y/N beamed.
“Wonderful!” An awkward, pregnant pause filled the space, and Y/N cleared her throat, unconsciously sliding closer to Jimmy. There was almost a magnetic pull to him, and Y/N was caught up in it.
“So, what’s it like being a session musician? I’m sure you get asked that all the time,” Y/N laughed.
Jimmy smiled. “It’s quite grueling, brutal at times, but I find it fulfilling. One mistake, and you’re fired, so it’s a lot of pressure.”
“Oh wow! That must be horrible to deal with.”
“Yeah, sometimes the pressure can really settle into you, but for me it dissipates once I’m in the booth. There’s three sessions a day, five days a week, so I don’t have much time for leisure. It’s been getting really dry lately since all I’m playing is rhythm guitar. I love experimentation and stretching out on lead guitar, so constant rhythm is getting quite annoying.”
“I understand where you’re coming from then, from a creative standpoint. How long have you been a session player?”
“Four years, roughly.”
“You must be quite dedicated then!” Y/N exclaimed, “who have you played with?”
“Oh gosh,” Jimmy exhaled deeply, calloused fingers raising to land on his chin. Slight stubble shadows it, and the sharp scent of aftershave wafted towards the girl. Lost in the scent, Y/N nearly missed his reply. “The Rolling Stones, The Kinks, Donovan, The Who, Petula Clark, Jackie DeShannon, Carter Lewis and the Southerners, Neil Christian and the Crusaders, Herman’s Hermits, Marianne Faithfull… just to name a few.”
“Wow! What a resumé!” she gushed, “That’s incredible. You should be so proud, Jimmy.”
“Thank you very much, love, I appreciate it.”
Suddenly, an announcer’s booming voice cut through Jimmy and Y/N’s conversation as he introduced the Yardbirds to the stage. As the five men walked on, Jimmy stood up from his chair.
“Come with me to the wings so we can see and hear them better,” he smiled, holding out his arm for Y/N to take. Y/N agreed, standing up and linking her arm with Jimmy’s as they walked in sync to the side of the stage.
The first few numbers were played perfectly, and it was clear that the audience (and even the road crew) were enchanted by the spectacle. Y/N knew from past shows that the next song would be “Train Kept A-Rollin’,” and she knew that they always knocked that one out of the park. It was always stimulating and explosive.
Jeff and Chris began the opening riff, the low E, G, and A notes thundering out of the monitors melodically. Just as Keith sang “got a train” on his cue, he fell straight backward and hit his head off Jim’s bass drum. Jimmy and Y/N’s jaws dropped in shock as a loud gasp echoed through the air from the audience. The music abruptly stopped as the rest of the band crowded around Keith’s fallen figure to see if he was alright. Murmurings of “fucking hells” were all that were spoken from the road crew as they tried to redeem the concert.
“He was drunk,” Jimmy whispered to Y/N giddily, “he was completely out to lunch and wobbling as he walked onstage.”
“I didn’t even notice,” Y/N replied quietly with a grin, “that definitely explains all the empty bottles and glasses on the table.”
Momentarily, Keith got back up and motioned for the band to restart “Train Kept A-Rollin’” and they finished the song without another mishap. The rest of the set was completed smoothly, and everything sounded sonically incredible. Jimmy and Y/N stood close together the entire time, Jimmy sneaking glances at Y/N from time to time. He lost his breath with the way her eyes were almost aglow in the fading light, and her soft-looking lips parted in childlike wonder as she watched the live music.
The Yardbirds came off the stage, begrudgingly making their way into the backstage tent, where Jimmy and Y/N had situated themselves. No one looked happy, especially Paul. Jeff had his usual stoic look, but he was rushing around for any alcoholic beverage he could find to ease his nerves after what could have been the worst possible scenario.
Everyone took a seat at the table where they were before the show. Jimmy and Y/N sat next to each other as they took in the distressed expressions of the five other men. Jeff was slumped in his chair, next to Jimmy, taking swigs of a beer he’d found. Jim and Chris just stared at the ground, drink in hand. Paul just looked royally pissed off, to the point that it almost scared Y/N. Keith, however, was still totally out of it in his drunken stupor.
“Hey, Jim,” Jeff said quietly to Jimmy, “look, you know, I’m really sorry about the gig. I’m sure you aren’t interested in joining the band now…”
“Oh no,” Jimmy chuckled, “that was amazing! Absolutely brilliant! I loved it.”
Y/N’s interest piqued as she heard their whispers of new information. “Wait! Jimmy’s joining the band? I thought there were only supposed to be five live Yardbirds,” she whispered.
Jeff leaned over Jimmy to whisper back to Y/N. “Oh yeah! I can’t believe I didn’t tell you this already. Paul is probably going to leave the group...and I think it might be sooner than we thought, especially after the whole Keith fiasco...Jimmy is going to take his place on bass, and hopefully he’ll take on dual lead guitar at some point. Then Chris will do bass,” Jeff’s eyes diverted to Paul, who was sitting with his arms crossed and face angry, staring off into space. Jimmy and Y/N followed Jeff’s line of sight mischievously.
“Oooh! Great plan,” Y/N smiled.
A little smirk creeped across Jeff’s face as he quietly counted down, “3...2...1…”
At the very prompt “1,” Paul abruptly stood up from his chair very loudly, capturing everyone’s attention.
“You know what? I’m done,” Paul exclaimed, stepping away from the chair as he pushed it in under the table.
“Woah, woah, woah!” Jim began, standing up from his own chair, “what do you mean ‘you’re done’? What the hell does that mean?”
Paul sneered at Jim. “What do you think I mean? I mean I’m done with this bullshit. I’ve had enough of the horrid travelling, not being noticed, and this drunk-off-his-ass bastard,” he exclaimed angrily, pointing at Keith.
“You need to relax, Sam,” Chris said gently, “look at everything we’ve accomplished over the last three years. You want to give that up? You’re losing your shit over one bad performance.”
“It’s been on my mind for a long time now, Chris. I fucking hate it,” Paul continued, anxiously running his hands through his hair, “and you know what? Y/N hanging around all the time has made it worse. She’s just here to be our fucking groupie. She’s only eating off our clout to be friends with famous people.” The entire table went silent, looking around nervously.
Y/N’s eyes widened at Paul’s awful accusation. “Are you serious?” she shot back coldly, “I knew you were an asshole, but I didn’t know it was this bad.”
“Oh what, you think I don’t recognize that that’s your motive?” Paul said condescendingly.
“If you think that being absolutely obsessed with you all is my sole hobby, my motive, whatever that means... you are sadly mistaken,” Y/N responded, her eyes closing to slits and her lips pressed together in disgust.
“You’re probably sleeping with Jim or Chris now for all I know!” he shouted, arms flailing in the air.
Y/N was fuming now, standing up from her own chair facing Paul. “How dare you make me seem like I’m a whore for the Yardbirds! Even if I was sleeping with Jim or Chris, that would be none of your business because you pursued me when you were fucking married, you dipshit.”
Paul’s maddening countenance grew. “You’re just an insecure little girl who needs famous musicians around her to validate her and make feel better about herself. You’re a fucking nuisance, like a gnat that just won’t fly away even when you swat at it again and again.”
Y/N gasped, the sound drowned out by the screech of metal against tile, as Jimmy stood up from his chair. He was distraught, upset at the antics between the two bitter exes, and stepped in front of Y/N to protect her from the horrible verbal blows served by Paul Samwell-Smith. Jeff beat him by a second, as he started to berate Sam for his little episode.
“You listen up, you wanker,” Jeff started, wagging his index finger in front of Sam’s face, “you’re just being a butthurt little bitch because Y/N found out that you were married. If anyone’s the whore here, it’s you. Y/N is our friend, even Jimmy’s now, and she takes care of us and makes us happy. She’s not just some whimsy, disposable groupie like the way you used her; she’s an intelligent, sweet, pretty girl who has our best interest at heart. And we have hers. You have to be a fucking idiot not to see that.”
Paul was taken aback. “I write, produce, and play bass for this group. All you do is play lead guitar. Trust me, Beck, I’m not the idiot here.”
“Well, your goddamn head isn’t screwed on straight, then,” Jimmy added, “I’ll be taking your place, thank you very much. And you will never mistreat Y/N on my watch. Ever. I’ve known her for about an hour, and she’s already absolutely magnificent.”
Y/N’s throat felt clenched, but some of the tension was relieved when she realized how protective Jimmy was being over her. As mad as she was, butterflies filled her stomach at his warm ways.
“I’m out of here! You all suck anyway. Have a nice trip to hell, all of you,” Paul said as he walked away to the road crew to get his belongings, flipping the people at the table off.
Y/N sat back down in her chair once Paul was out of sight, slouching and holding her cheeks with her hands as she blankly stared at the edge of the table. Jimmy and the four Yardbirds dragged their chairs closer to a saddened Y/N, who was determined to fight off the tears that threatened to roll down her fury-flush cheeks.
Jeff frowned at the state of his friend, starting to softly rub her cardigan-clothed back to console her. “I’m so sorry about Sam, Y/N. His behaviour was absolutely horrendous, and I can assure you, none of the things he said about you were even close to being true.”
Keith, still a bit drunk, stood up and walked over to Y/N, planting a peck on her cheek. “We’re so glad you’re here, dear. Truly. That belligerent little asshole can suck a fat one.”
A close-lipped smile found its way on Y/N’s lips. “Thanks Keith,” she chuckled.
“I’m going to go get you a cup of water, alright love?” Chris said as he stood up to walk over towards the bar.
“Thank you so much Chris,” she called after him. Chris flashed her a kind smile as he walked away.
I guess Mum and Dad were wrong...they really do care about me, Y/N thought happily, they really, truly do.
~~~~~~~~
After the May Ball was over, and the sky was growing darker with the coming evening, Jimmy and Y/N walked around the grounds of the venue together, talking about anything and everything and sharing laughs.
The lighthearted mood took a drastic shift at one of Jimmy’s followup questions.
“So, Y/N, if you don’t mind me asking, what was the whole row between you and Sam about?”
Y/N flashed a sad smile, but it quickly faded as she took a deep exhale. “Well—”
Panicked, Jimmy took this as a cue that she didn’t want to talk about it. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, I get it because of how heated it was. I’m just worried about you, is all,” he interrupted.
“No, it’s okay. Really. I trust you,” she replied with a pursed lip-smile. Jimmy returned the sentiment, internally relieved that Y/N had already seemed to take a liking to him.
“Alright, so about a year or so ago, I went to a Yardbirds gig at the Crawdaddy Club, a few months after I met the band for the first time. Paul asked me out after that show, and nobody told me he was married, so naturally, I accepted.”
“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry, love. What a shitty thing to do, especially to someone as wonderful as you,” Jimmy replied with a little flush, giving the girl a little rub on the small of her back.
Heat rippled throughout Y/N’s body at his touch. Regaining her composure, she sighed. “Thank you Jimmy. That means a lot. More than you know, actually.”
After a short silence, Y/N continued. “We went out for about eight months...and in retrospect, it now makes sense why I could never go over to his place. But anyway, I found out about it before the band played on Ready, Steady, Go in February. Keith, Jeff, Jim, and I were all talking at the front of the stage before rehearsals and it slipped.”
“Who ended up telling you?”
“Jim, but it was purely an accident.” Suddenly, all of the events that had happened between her and Jim guiltily flooded her mind. Now with Jimmy beginning to infiltrate her mind and cloud her vision, how was she supposed to genuinely enjoy the secrecy? Ah shit, she thought, here we go again.
“After the show, I confronted him about it,” Y/N continued, “and he was blaming me for our time together, a-and for ‘tempting’ him into asking me out just by being… me?”
“He seems like a right wanker, I can tell you that for sure,” Jimmy muttered, sliding his hand from its resting place on her back, to her shoulder, squeezing it lightly in solidarity. Y/N met his eyes then, tears filling her gaze, and Jimmy frowns. No one as lovely as her should be feeling this way. He smiles at her, and to Y/N, it is filled with comfort and appreciation. Some emotion… something akin to love, perhaps, lit a fire in her chest, and she looks away. The evening ambience does nothing to hide the traitorous blush that painted her cheeks.
“It’s getting quite dark out, love. How did you get here?” Jimmy asked, stealing another glance at a girl as she looked down at her ballet flats once more.
“I took the train, actually,” Y/N replied.
“Oh, so did I! Here, I’ll walk with you over to the station then.”
Y/N grinned at him. “That’s so kind of you, Jimmy. Thank you.”
“No problem, love. What’s your stop?” Jimmy asked as they began to make their way over to the station.
“St. Alban’s. How about you?”
“Epsom. I still live with my parents, I’m afraid,” he chuckled sheepishly.
“Oh, it’s okay!” she laughed with him, “so do I. It’s nice though, to still live with your parents… home-cooked meals and laundry and all. Plus sleeping in your own bed, and using your own bathroom, of course.”
“Those are very good points,” Jimmy agreed with a chuckle.
The two boarded the train once they got to the station, only waiting on the platform for a few minutes. They continued to talk all the way to St. Albans, where Y/N got off to walk home.
“Say you’ll see me again sometime soon, Y/N,” Jimmy half-asked, half-declared as she stood up to get off the train.
Y/N grinned at him. “I definitely will, Jimmy. It was so nice meeting you tonight...I loved getting to know you.”
“The feeling is mutual, love. Please stay safe and take care of yourself, okay?” he reached out his hand to grab Y/N’s, shaking it a little and smiling at her. Y/N nearly swooned at the gesture.
“I’ll try my best. You do the same as well. Have a good night!”
“Thank you, you too!” Jimmy waved as Y/N walked out the train’s doors. Her scent, a delicious mixture of vanilla with a hint of laundry detergent, lingered in the air as she passed by, weakening him both physically and his rational judgment.
He had a lot of thinking to do on the ride home.
————
Taglist: @blood-on-blood @reincarnated70sbaby
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lovee-infected · 3 years
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hi hi!!! i love your vil analysis post!! just wondering though...why does vil force epel to do traditionally “cute, feminine” things. i get that it’s, like, to counter neige for the vdc, but it kind of goes against vil’s ideology? like, how i see it, vil advocates for people to express themselves how they want without being bound by gender roles. i feel like if epel tried forcing his manliness ideology onto other people, he’d be justified in his “forcing epel to do cute things” plan, but i don’t think epel has ever shamed feminine guys? he just wants to be manly himself. could this be an allusion to how the evil queen turned ugly just to fulfill her goals? vil going against his core ideals and becoming “ugly” just to win?
Glad you enjoyed it dear! As for your question, I believe that'll be better if I go into details because I've seen many asking similar questions regarding chapter 5, and I guess that's causing some misunderstandings towards both Vil and Epel. Well, we're soon getting the rest of the Pomefiore Chapter, so I guess it's the best time for an analysis on Epel and Vil's relationship and how Chapter 5 has been going so far
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First off, let me state something really really important about the Pomefiore chapter, this arc has got pretty wild spirits that are quite new compared to the previous chapters. We've got Neige, the first RSA character to appear as a real rival of a NRC student, Vil and Epel's rough relationship, Ace and Deuce joining MC on the new adventure once again and finally, the VDC: an event with is potentially important to not only the whole NRC but also Twisted Wonderland!
While all fans are surely excited to see what we'll be going through next, there are quite a few of misunderstandings and wrong interpretations that are considerably important regarding the Pomefiore chapter. In order to avoid possible dramas and more misinterpretions between the fans, let's try to take a better look at this Chapter and important Pomefiore hints that we've got so far:
(1)Epel's feelings; the most important element of chapter 5
One of the quite brilliant facts about Chapter 5, is the unique presence of characters and their roles in the story. This might seem quite unrecognizable, but right now Epel's appearance is effecting the audience way more than Vil's! This arc is mainly focusing on making the audience feel his pain and hard time, and I can say that they're doing it pretty well! We'll talk about how his feelings are being presented in part (6). Now, you may wonder why his feelings are so important in the Pomefiore arc? Isn't it supposed to be mostly about Vil? Well of course, the story is most likely leading us to Vil's overblot so he's the heart of this chapter, but the important thing is too see how crucial Epel's role is here. Watching how Epel is in pain, silenty crying and forced into doing something that he doesn't want to by Vil is savagely effecting this fandom's interpretation of Vil, some are commenting on how he's the worst or how horrible he is or hundreds of not really friendly critiques which is awfully frustrating... We'd continue to talk about this point in part (5)!
(2) Epel's relationship with Vil
Let's review what we've got through the side stories. To begin with, Epel obviously doesn't really like Vil, (I'm trying to cooperate and not say that he hates him) he didn't appreciate having him as the dorm leader from the very beginning. But he's got some strong reasons to dislike Vil so we can't really blame him:
1)Vil slapped him all of a sudden just because of his poor posture at the dinner table 2)Vil almost crashed Epels head between his hands while teaching him some manners 3)Vil's idealistic are just the opposite of Epel's 4)Vil is trying to change Epel, especially during chaptet 5. It sometimes feels like Vil is treating Epel like his puppet and Epel doesn't appreciate this all.
At the end of his SR lab story Epel stated how he's going to study his hardest in magic and potions, so maybe at some point he'd beat Vil, which goes to prove that he considers Vil a rival.
"Why is it so though? Isn't this pretty risky for Epel to challenge Vil, especially as Vil is a dorm leader and Epel's just a first year who's still an amateur at magic?"
Farewell, let me mention something about Epel, he's got a really strong will to the point of not giving up until proving everyone wrong. He's often looked down on, is called to be useless and dumb, and is sometimes insulted for being innocent and naïve. True, he still has a lot he needs to learn and he's aware, but he won't take being underestimated easily.
Just look at him! He's been raised in a farm and he still found his way to this school filled with stunning students coming from noble families while Epel is a simple country boy! He proved the point to us once again in his lab coat story where Crewel gave him an impossible task just to push him into giving up and coming to apologize afterwards. When Epel realized that he was just tricked by Crewel, he felt quite frustrated and started to cry, yet he didn't give up and used his personal experiments and what he'd learned back in his farm life and paved his road to success and impressing everyone including Crewel!
This is why he isn't backing up now, he doesn't want and isn't going to lose to Vil. Another important reason might be how Vil seems to have control over Epel, his manners, his attitude, the way he looks and basically, the person Epel is. Epel has indirectly said that Vil may be currently bounding his actions and life, but someday this will change. He mentioned similar lines several times and you can see he really has a strong will to prove everyone, especially Vil, that he's not a cute apple boy to sit still and look pretty. And if he's been waiting for the right time to stand against Vil, chapter 5 has got it. In part (7) you'll see why.
(3)What is happening in chapter 5?
Okay before we continue, let's just focus on what we've got in Pomefiore chapter: This year's vocal and dance championship has an unbelievable amount of media focused on it , because two of the world-famous influencers,Vil Schoenheit & Neige Leblanche, are joining. Both are great influencers and talented designers, but recently Neige has been getting really popular through the social media and TV, thus Vil realizes that the time to face his well-known rival, Neige, has come.
The VDC is no joke to him because hundreds of people are coming to watch this competition between two Celebrities, and his career is surely at risk. If the VDC doesn't go as well as he's planned, that'll be an end to his fame and clout, possibly his whole career! Therefore he has to make sure that nothing is going to ruin his plans for the big day, and that's why he is going to use his ultimate weapon, the red poisoned apple. Note that this isn't just about Vil, it's about protecting NRC's clout against RSA as well, so losing the VDC would seriously effect NRC's picture throughout the whole twisted wonderland. So a really important part of NRC's future is relying on Vil's hands right now.
Look, unlike the previous chapters, Vil's story is about nothing fictional or exaggerated; it's something that's pretty normal to see in real life! Two famous fashion designers joining a competition, both are giving in their best, aren't planning to lose, are going to be awfully strict towards training their models and making sure that nothing would be messed up, and are SERIOUS about winning because losing it to the other side would end in losing their clout and having the reports of their unfortunate fall-down spread worldwide.
Unlike the previous overblots, Vil's strictness and seriousness has NOTHING to do with being evil or crazy, he's just doing what he's supposed to be doing, working his hardest to defend his career. Anyone else who were in Vil's shoes would've done the same, and nothing about it chaotic, heartless or mad. His being pretty strict towards Epel because he's his main hope, Epel is the perfect beauty material and is definitely capable of achieving all the best through the VDC, that's why Vil's counting on him. Just as a fashion designer is strict with training their model, Vil is all serious with his way of couching Epel. And it's just about being professional, not being evil!
(4) It's not about Vil, it's about Epel
This is more of a continuation to part (3), but let's talk seriously about how wrong chapter 5 is being interpreted. "Vil is the worst! Can't he see that Epel doesn't want this?" or "Ew gross! People like Vil who use others for their very own benefits are just horrible" are some of the aggressive comments I've recently heard about how Vil is doing in Chapter 5, which is mainly because of Epel. I mentioned that Epel's feelings are most important element of chapter 5 and this is why!! Vil isn't doing anything that savage or mean but his actions seem to be a lot more appealing to fans due to how Epel's frustration and pain is being focused on. It's not because of Vil, it's because of Epel. Vil had been just the same with Leona back in the fairy gala event and most of the fans considered the story to be much of a comedy, but when Vil's treating Epel just the same way it sounds mean, cruel, harsh and heartless. See what I meant? Epel's presence was crucial to give Vil an evil perspective and make him seem just as bad as Azul or Leona.
I'm not defending his action since Epel as well is surely under a serious pressure. He doesn't even want to be joining the VDC, let alone having to follow all these strict rules that Vil's been teaching him so far. But since Epel forcedly made the deal with Vil and promised to help him for the VDC, there's no turning back now. Vil is counting on him as his very last hope and is putting his hardest of work and effort into training Epel, just like any professional fashion designer would've done.
(5)Vil is NOT the Evil Queen!
As for Vil's biggest difference with the Evil Queen, I must say that Vil does really work his hardest for what he desires. Evil Queen simply wanted Snow White dead while we've got Vil, working his ass off preparing everything for the VDC. He isn't just going to get mad and envies of Neige because his becoming popular, he doesn't want Neige dead either. All Vil has been doing so far was working and working and working and getting to be called cruel and heartless in return, I mean can't you just feel the amount of effort and nerve he's giving into work?
See, a considerable majority of the fandom is exaggerating the story of chapter 5 while Vil hasn't even shown a simple sign of having any ill intentions or evil plans in mind! We don't know what is going to happen i the next episodes but let's say that he hasn't done a single evil thing so far.
Just take a look at previous chapters! Leona was openly planning to unfairly harm and injure other students and Azul fooled nearly 200 students, took away their magic and forced them to work for him in Mostrolounge until they graduate from the very beginning. Heartslabyul and Scarabia weren't as severe as these two but they still did have some sort of a visibly unhealthy aura. Vil's current impression as the villain of chapter 5 is high-kay normal and chill compared to the previous chapters as he literally has done nothing evil so far, NOTHING. Most of the fandom is currently giving him the malicious aura that he doesn't have, or at least he doesn't yet have. Look, Vil's just doing his job. This doesn't even have anything to do with the Evil Queen! Also, Vil's rival ship with Neige has nothing to do with beauty, it's about fame, net-worth and popularity.
We don't know if he'd come up with any ill plans or serious intentions to harm Neige or anyone else in the new episodes, but his current impression in nothing more than going hard on Epel as his coach which is just being overly exaggerated by the fandom. A real life fashion designer would've done JUST the same thing! I know that this story is most likely going to end in Vil's overblot and him revealing his inner villain but come on, he hasn't done anything horrible so far!
(6)How Epel is being presented through Chapter 5
This point is the cause of many misunderstandings and confusions regarding Chapter 5, many find the context of Epel being forced to do what he doesn't like so cruel, some on the other hand are confused becaused Vil has clearly stated that his terms of beauty are gender neutral, so why would he force Epel to do these in the first place? As I said before, it's because of Epel, not Vil.
When it comes to perspectives on beauty, Epel's idealistics are just the opposite of Vil's. Look, Epel hates being mistaken with a girl or being considered soft and cute, this is something that has been bothering him for quite a long time. Being misgendered because of his appearance all over his life has had some negative effects on his perspective toward anything cute or feminine, as it just reminds him as how he often gets misunderstood because of his unwanted appearance and cuteness. Epel is awfully similar to Deuce and wants nothing more than getting to reveal the manliness he's holding within, through not only tastes but also abilities.
This is why he's been feeling quite uncomfortable in chapter 5 because Vil's basically pushing him into doing what he hates the most, looking cute and, well, something that Epel would consider feminine. The thing is, Vil does not consider stuff like 'Being able to sing beautifully, performing eye-catching movements voice, wearing stunning clothes and applying makeup' feminine at all, to Vil these are gender neutral terms of beauty and he doesn't get why Epel might consider them girlish or feminine either. Epel's comment on not wanting to do girlish things sounded naïve and low key rude to Vil because beauty isn't bound to being male or female, and he doesn't appreciate the idea of these works being called girlish at all.
This is neither Epel nor Vil's fault, it's just the difference in idealistics.
(7) Vil's on thin ice right now
Let me tell you a secret, 'choosing Epel to become the red poisoned apple wasn't an accidental act AT ALL'. Vil has been watching over Epel ever since he entered NRC and this is why he was so strict about changing this "Mudded potato" into a well-behaved Pomefiore student. Vil knew Epel's name and had discussed his case with Rook right at Epel's first day, and this is why he treated Epel so harshly at the dinner table because his plan to turn Epel into his red poisoned apple had already begun. He was preparing Epel from the very beginning and was just expecting the big day to arrive, the day he'd need Epel to defeat his rival, Neige.
Remember that I said how Epel's been waiting for a chance to stand against Vil and how Chapter 5 would be his BEST opportunity to do this? Before we explain this point, let's have a review on how Vil has been effecting and changing him so far. During his first days in NRC, Epel was more comfortable with shouting, fighting and opposing to other students including Vil. He used to disagree until Vil slapped him but now in Chapter 5, he doesn't even say a word when Vil tells him to do something, he just silently obeys as tears fall from his eyes. He no longer fights back as much as he used to.
But right now, Vil's career, status and future is bound to Epel. Vil has been working harder than ever trying to turn him into the Red poisoned Apple he's been expecting him to become, and if Epel backs up or decides to ruin the show and stop letting Vil have control over him, that'll seriously make Vil explode. And if you think that Vil deserves to be hurt like this, I gotta say that he doesn't, he seriously doesn't deserve this after all he's been going through. Just imagine being on Gil's shoes, how would you feel about having the result of all that hard work and effort you've given into work for YEARS ruined like this? Look, we need to judge this situation nonetheless, even is you don't really like Vil it's important to realize the unfairness of this possible future to the story.
Epel now has the opportunity to BREAK Vil like no one has ever done, after all Vil has been going through to coach Epel, teach him manners, change his nature and prepare him for the VDC this would certainly be the worst thing that may happen to him and it'll make him mad, like really really mad. The Vil we've seen through the story so far was nothing more than Vil's normal calm self so we can't even imagine how it might be to see him mad. At this point he won't be bound to any manners or consderations, and keep this in mind: "We won't like it when Vil is evil, and we can't imagine how evil he can be,"
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I'm honestly so excited and terrified at the same time to see what we'll get to see in the rest of the Pomefiore chapter, the atmosphere is so nerve-wrecking right now and I can't help but to pray that the rest of this story doesn't traumatize us as much as it can- “Yana please, have mercy on us”
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purrincess-chat · 3 years
Text
Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s Spite Playlist: Remix CH19
People weren’t happy with how things went down with Alya in the original MDCSP, so I hope this version suffices. ;)
Previous     First      Next     AO3
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Chapter 19: Miss Missing You
Alya chewed her nails, pivoting back and forth in her desk chair as Lila settled on her bed. Her thoughts raced too fast for Alya to make sense of them, and Lila’s grave expression did little to calm her nerves. When Alya told her about Adrien and Chloe, she insisted on meeting up. Maybe this way they could both talk to Ladybug, but something was off about Lila. Her jaw was a little too tense, and those green eyes swirled with an intensity Alya couldn’t place. What was going on?
“Is Ladybug on her way too? We have to let her know what they’re plotting,” Alya said, but when Lila remained quiet, she asked, “What?”
“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” Lila said. “This is going to be hard for me, but I trust you over anyone else.”
“What’s wrong?” Alya asked, and Lila shifted her weight, tucking a strand of long hair behind her ear.
“Well, Ladybug and I…we kind of had a falling out.” Lila lowered her gaze to her lap.
“What?”
“Remember when Chloe tried to impersonate her to make everyone hate me? Well, I told Ladybug about it, and that she shouldn’t trust Chloe anymore, but then last night she gave her back her Miraculous without consulting me.” Lila recounted. “I tried to talk to her and understand why she’d trust Chloe again after what she did to me, but Ladybug freaked out on me and told me not to question her judgment.”
“For real?” Alya gasped. “That’s not like her.”
“I know,” Lila said, “and after what you told me on the phone, I definitely think something weird is going on with her.”
“You don’t think Chloe is manipulating her, do you?” she asked.
Lila pressed her lips together and shook her head. “Not Chloe. I think that…well, I’m sorry, but I think Marinette is behind all of this.”
“Marinette?” Alya shot a glance at the Ladyblog pulled up on her computer, a sinking feeling in her gut.
She hadn’t posted about Queen Bee’s return—couldn’t bring herself to. Something was definitely off with Ladybug, but was it really all Marinette’s doing? Marinette wasn’t one for petty revenge, but maybe she had changed since she left. Or maybe Alya just never knew her like she thought she did.
Alya thought back to the night she was akumatized, the distant look in her bff’s eyes. She’d seemed tired, like all the fight had been drained from her. She didn’t even argue when Alya suggested they stop being friends, a fact that had haunted Alya ever since. Why had Marinette abandoned her so easily? Surely if her stories were to be believed, she would have fought harder, right? Wasn’t the truth worth fighting for?
“You said so yourself, Chloe and Adrien said they were going to get Ladybug to talk about me for Marinette. I think she’s manipulating all of them to get back at me because she can’t let go even after she’s been gone for a month now,” Lila said.
“But that doesn’t make any sense. Why would Marinette do that? When I last spoke to her, she didn’t want anything to do with you or anyone here really,” Alya said. “Well, except Adrien, I guess, but she’s always been head-over-heels for him.”
“She’s obsessed! She’s never liked me, and I never understood why. The only thing I’ve been able to figure out is that she didn’t like me talking to Adrien, so now she’s lured him over to her side and fed him all kinds of lies about me. I don’t even like him that way, but she’s just so insecure and jealous that she thought Adrien would fall in love with me because of all of my accomplishments.” Lila hugged a pillow to her chest. “Now she’s taken one of my best friends away from me too!”
Alya crossed the room to sit beside her on the bed, draping an arm over her shoulders. “I’m sorry, girl. Maybe we can talk to Ladybug and convince her not to do that interview tomorrow.”
“I don’t think we can,” Lila whimpered. “She hasn’t responded to any of my calls ever since the Queen Bee thing. She’s on their side now.”
“Are you sure? I’ve met Ladybug a bunch of times, and she would totally pick up on it if something fishy was going on,” Alya said.
“Watch the interview tomorrow. If Ladybug says anything about me that sounds like them, then you’ll know I’m telling the truth,” Lila said.
Alya pursed her lips but didn’t argue. Lila’s story was just as probable as theirs at this point, and she was right. All they could do was watch the interview and see what happened. For their sake, she hoped that Chloe and Adrien’s plan failed, and Ladybug never mentioned Lila. But a heavy pit was already forming in Alya’s stomach, filling her with dread for the coming day. How had she gotten herself into the middle of all this drama? And how long would it be before the truth was finally revealed?
♪♫♪ Don’t Blame Me ♪♫♪
“How long before we give up?” Adrien asked the next afternoon. He leaned against the railing while Chloe manned the spotlight beside him.
“It’s hasn’t even been 20 minutes, Adrikins. I’ve sat up here for entire akuma battles before.” Chloe chided.
“Sorry, I guess I’m just nervous,” he said, letting a breath pass his lips.
Chloe spun on him with a scowl, jabbing her finger into his chest. “Oh no, you are not backing out this time. We’re doing this, so just think about Dupain-Cheng’s awful split-ends or whatever it is you need to keep you motivated.”
Adrien pursed his lips as Chloe turned back to her bee signal. She was right. No backing out this time. Lila was going down once and for all, then Marinette could finally be free. Marinette…
His heart fluttered, warming his cheeks. It would be obvious after today that he was helping Chloe take down Lila. Being intentionally cruel wasn’t in his nature, but he’d do anything to protect the people he loved. To protect the girl he loved.
It had taken him longer than it should have to realize his feelings for her, but now they burned so brightly, he had to wonder how he’d ever missed them. Marinette was a wonderful girl and a dear friend. If ever there was a person to fight for, it was her. She’d understand why he did all of this. It was all for her—always for her.
His heart ached with longing. Now that Marinette went to a different school, he couldn’t see her as often as he used to. Sometimes they went several days without seeing each other, and his heart grew heavier the longer they stayed apart. At least when he loved Ladybug, he got to see her every day when they fought akumas or patrolled the city, but even that wasn’t enough.
Adrien had spent too much of his life alone. Couldn’t the universe give him just one person to cure his loneliness? Missing Marinette was torture. What was she doing right now? Was she thinking about him?
He pulled out his phone and typed a simple message: what’s up?
Ugh, no, that was lame.
Hey cutie ;) what are you up to?
No, too forward.
I was just thinking about you
Too clingy. He backspaced over his message again, eyebrows knitting together in concentration. Why was flirting so much harder as Adrien? If he were Chat Noir, he’d just drop a few cat puns and tell her how pretty she was, but that might be a little abrasive coming from Adrien. The last thing he wanted was to scare her off. After all, she almost kissed him in the garden too. That meant she loved him back, right?
Pressing his lips into a determined line, he typed another message and hit send without overthinking it.
Hey, how’s your day been?
A minute passed before his phone buzzed with a reply: busy. I’m finalizing my designs for Clara. I present to her next week and im super nervous!
Aww don’t be clara is gonna love them.
I hope so! she replied. So what are you up to today?
Uhh im working on a school project with chloe. He lied. We have to interview someone we look up to, and shes demanding we interview ladybug so weve been standing on the roof with her bee signal for like 30 minutes.
Wow ladybug huh? I hope she shows up for you guys. Anyway these designs aren’t going to finish themselves so ill talk to you later! Bye!
good luck!
He smiled down at her messages. Marinette was always running a million miles an hour working on some project or another. She was so driven and passionate—something Adrien deeply admired. Clara would love her designs, and he and Chloe would definitely take down Lila this time. Then he and Marinette could be together without having to worry about anything. They could move to the suburbs and buy a cozy home for their three kids, a dog, and a hamster named-
“Looking for me?” Adrien and Chloe spun around, and Ladybug cocked a hip. “What’s the emergency?”
“Uhh,” Adrien stammered.
Chloe rolled her eyes. “We have to interview one of our personal heroes for a school project, so we picked you. Isn’t that right, Adrikins?” She nudged him with her elbow.
Think about Marinette. Everything was for Marinette. The tears she’d spilled, the pain she’d suffered… Adrien was going to take it all away. Lila would never hurt her again.
“Yeah. Do you have time?” Adrien asked.
Ladybug glanced between them and smiled. “I have a few minutes. Make it quick.”
“Excellent.” Chloe clapped her hands together and paced toward the stairs. “Everything is set up in my suite.”
Adrien took a deep breath as Ladybug fell into step beside him. A month ago being so close to her would have sent his heart into overdrive, but now his heart was pounding for a different reason. Ladybug hated liars. Deceiving her was a direct betrayal of her trust. Even if his feelings for her had changed, he was still her partner, and manipulating her like this didn’t feel right.
“Wait.” He stopped abruptly and caught Ladybug’s wrist. Chloe was already through the doorway to the stairs, and he sent her a silent apology just in case his next words ruined everything. “Chloe and I lied to you. This isn’t for a school project.”
“Then what’s all this about?” Ladybug asked.
“It’s…” Adrien took a deep breath and continued. “You remember Lila, right? She lied about you saving her and how you two are bffs?”
Ladybug sobered. “Yeah?”
“Well, her lies have gotten out of hand, and she hurt someone important to me. Chloe and I planned to trick you into admitting you two were never friends, so that everyone can finally see the truth about her. The interview was just a coverup,” Adrien explained, hanging his head low. “We shouldn’t have lied to you. I’m sorry.”
Ladybug eyed him with pursed lips, those blue eyes working out a solution like he were one of her lucky charms. She seemed to come to a conclusion, her face softening. “Thank you for being honest with me.”
“If you don’t want to help us, I won’t blame you. I know it’s wrong to seek revenge,” Adrien said.
A knowing smile spread across her lips. “That friend of yours must be really special to you.”
“What?”
“For you to resort to something like this, you must care about your friend—the one Lila hurt—a lot,” she said, then with a sigh added, “I don’t normally condone revenge, but I know how dangerous Lila can be. I’ve almost lost my Miraculous because of her several times, so I think you’re right. It’s time everyone learned the truth about Lila Rossi.”
Adrien blinked. “So, wait… You’re going to help us?”
“I made a promise to keep Paris safe, and if we continue to let Lila go unchecked, she’s only going to put more people in danger,” Ladybug said. “It’s time someone put her in her place.”
“Hurry up, you two! I have a hair appointment this evening, and I do not want to be late!” Chloe shouted from the doorway.
Adrien held Ladybug’s gaze, and she gave him an encouraging nod. “Uh, coming!” he called.
He gestured Ladybug ahead, following close behind her, cheeks hot. This was really happening. Ladybug was going to help them stop Lila. After today, everyone would know the truth, and Marinette would be free. They all would.
“Ladybug, you sit on this side.” Chloe directed. “Adrikins and I will sit on this side.”
“Okay,” Ladybug said, sliding onto the couch smoothly.
Adrien took the seat across from her, wiping his palms on his jeans while Chloe barked orders at her butler. Satisfied with the camera angle, Chloe sat beside him and fixed her hair in her compact before calling “action.”
Chloe’s butler—Adrien couldn’t remember his name—started the Instagram live, broadcasting to all of Chloe’s followers. There was no turning back now.
“Hello out there, my little worker bees. Your queen is here with some very special guests today,” Chloe cooed in her token attention-seeking voice. “My favorite people in the whole world besides myself, obviously—Adrien and Ladybug!”
“Hi.”
“Hey.” Adrien waved.
“As you all know, I helped Ladybug defeat another akuma last weekend. Being Queen Bee again was such an honor, and I admit, even I have people I look up to,” she said, flipping her ponytail. “So, Ladybug, thank you for allowing me to become a superheroine. Queen Bee is truly an inspiration.”
“Uh, sure.” Ladybug rolled her eyes. “Chat Noir and I always appreciate help from our allies.”
“You heard it here, everyone! Ladybug values my help,” Chloe said, and Adrien cleared his throat. “Now, onto the topic of today’s livestream. People everywhere are inspired by superheroes like me and Ladybug, so today we are going to give you all the inside scoop on what it takes to be a hero.”
“That’s right, Chloe,” Adrien piped up. “I don’t have superpowers, so I have to ask: what’s it like being a superhero, Ladybug?”
“Well, everyone thinks that having superpowers is all fun and games, but in reality, Chat Noir and I have a huge responsibility. Defending Paris every day requires sacrifice, and we know the whole city is counting on us to succeed. It’s a lot of pressure,” Ladybug said.
“Of course, I know what it’s like being a superhero myself, but can you tell everyone how overwhelming it is to save the day all the time?” Chloe prompted.
“Yeah, totally. It’s a lot of work fighting akumas. Sometimes Hawkmoth makes supervillains at the worst times, and I have to drop everything to go save the city. Leading a double life is challenging, and sometimes it even impacts my day-to-day life. School, friends, family—I’m always rushing all over the place juggling two lives.” Ladybug admitted, rubbing the back of her neck. “But I’m happy to do it. Paris is my home, and it’s an honor to defend it. Besides, when the going gets tough, I know I can count on my partners to have my back.”
“So, when you pick a new partner, what qualities do you look for in a person that makes them a good fit to work with you?” Adrien asked.
“I look for people with courage and good intentions. Often times, the people I pick are ones who have stepped up to do the right thing, even if it’s hard. They’re people I know I can trust,” Ladybug said.
“Would you say you consider your allies close personal friends?” Chloe beamed, flashing the camera a wink.
“Well, I don’t know all of them in real life like you, Chloe,” Ladybug said with a cautious glance at the camera. “Sometimes they are people I meet during a battle that impress me, and who prove themselves to be trustworthy.”
“And how do you know if you can trust someone?” Adrien asked. “Do you consult anyone for recommendations, or do you operate on the fly?”
“Most of the time when I give someone a Miraculous, it’s because they’ve demonstrated their character to me. Every person I give a Miraculous to has earned their right to wear it either by helping me or showing that they’re willing to sacrifice to save others. The decision about who gets to wear one and who doesn’t is deeply personal to me,” Ladybug answered. “Not even Chat Noir knows the identities of our allies. It’s something I don’t share with anyone.” She shot Chloe a stern look. “Under normal circumstances.”
“So, you pick the allies by yourself?” Adrien followed up.
“Yes. In the middle of a battle, I wouldn’t even have time to consult anyone if I wanted to.”
“In other words, if anyone were to—I don’t know—claim that they help you choose your partners, they’d be a liar, right?” Chloe added.
“Yeah, I don’t talk to anyone about who I pick.” Ladybug shook her head.
“Ya know, Ladybug, there are some people out there that claim to be your best friend. How do you feel about people lying about knowing you to make themselves more popular?” Chloe asked.
Ladybug locked eyes with Adrien, the weight of their mission heavy on both of their shoulders. She clasped her hands together in her lap and said, “As I’m sure both of you are aware, there will always be people who use your name for their own selfish gain, but I want everyone out there to know that I take my job very seriously. Protecting all of you is my number one priority.”
She took a deep breath. “Being a superhero is dangerous, and that’s why, with the exception of Chat Noir and my trusted allies, Ladybug doesn’t have friends.”
“So, anyone who says they’re your friend is a liar, right?” Adrien asked.
“Yes, and they’re putting themselves in danger. Hawkmoth will stop at nothing to get my Miraculous, so please, if you’re out there… Do the right thing, and tell the truth.” Ladybug pleaded to the camera.
“It’s utterly pathetic when people lie about who they know just to get attention,” Chloe sighed in disgust. “You heard it here, my little bees! Chat Noir and I are Ladybug’s only friends.”
“Well, I’d consider you more of an ally than a frie-”
“And as one of Ladybug’s bffs, I want all of the losers out there to buzz off! Ladybug has much more important things to do, like spending time with me,” Chloe said.
“Right.” Ladybug’s yoyo beeped, and she glanced down at it briefly. “I should really get going. A hero’s work is never done.”
“Of course. Thank you for your time, Ladybug,” Adrien said, shaking her hand.
“No problem. It’s important to me that everyone in Paris knows I’m doing everything I can to keep you all safe, and the people I choose to fight beside me are people I truly trust. We’ll all keep fighting hard to protect this city,” she said, waving two fingers. “Bug out!”
“Well, that does it for this livestream, little bees. Your queen will see you all again next time. Bye-bye!”
♪♫♪ Impossible Year ♪♫♪
“So, anyone who says they’re your friend is a liar, right?”
“Yes.”
Lila was right. They really had gotten to Ladybug. Alya had done her best not to think about Marinette since their falling out. Remembering her old bff was too painful and confusing. Everything Alya thought she knew changed the moment Lila came to their school. The person she trusted became a stranger overnight. Alya wanted to believe that Marinette would never align herself with Chloe or orchestrate a hostile takedown just because she was jealous, but Alya had seen her do crazier things to win Adrien.
“I’m doing everything I can to keep you all safe, and the people I choose to fight beside me are people I truly trust.”
How was Chloe more trustworthy than Alya? All that was necessary for the triumph of evil was that good people do nothing. She’d known from day one that Chloe was evil, so why couldn’t Ladybug see it?  Why would Ladybug align herself with the queen of all evil over someone who dedicated herself to doing the right thing? Was this really all Marinette’s doing? And why?
Was Marinette really that desperate to win Adrien? Did she hate Lila so much that she’d willingly team up with her worst enemy to get back at her for stealing attention away from the boy she liked? From where Alya was sitting, it looked like Marinette already had him, and Lila had always been clear that she wasn’t interested in him that way. Why go through all that trouble to get Ladybug to denounce Lila just to win a boy? But if Marinette was involved with Ladybug…
It all made sense now. The reason Ladybug had picked someone else to wield her Miraculous. How long had they been plotting all of this? And how could Ladybug trust Marinette’s word over Alya’s without even trying to hear her side of the story? Or Lila’s? How could Ladybug not see that she was being manipulated? She was a hero, and one of the best Alya had ever seen. So why was she fighting for the wrong side?
Her head spun, and she gripped the side of her desk for support. Someone needed to tell Ladybug the truth.
“You want to save Ladybug from those you deem evil. Let me help you, Ladyblogger.”
Alya jumped at the sinister voice in her head. She smoothed her thumb over her phone screen, now glowing with dark energy. A cold feeling washed over her, all of her pain and confusion bubbling to the surface. In the center of it all stood her determined resolve, driving her to give in.
Someone needed to tell Ladybug the truth. Someone like her.
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angelkurenai · 3 years
Text
Imagine doing the WIRED autocomplete interview with your husband, Robert, and getting asked very often about your relationship with co-star and friend, Bradley Cooper. Only for your husband to get jealous.
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“And the last one, I feel like no matter how prepared I say I am for some of these, I always end up surprised, so-” you cleared your throat and looked down at the board “Is Robert Downey Jr-” you read on the image that was the google search for your husband before pealing the sticker “The little spoon or the big spoon? This, wow!”
You both immediately burst into laughter, your husband clapping his hands and muttering “Amazing. It's amazing!”
“This contains the most popular searches right?” you spoke, looking at the crew around you and behind the cameras “I wonder who ever googled this. Who, like, woke up and said 'Hey, you know what I wanna find out today? If Robert Downey Jr is the little spoon, man! I bet that would be interesting!' why would you ever-” you shook your head with a laugh.
“Alright, first of all-” Robert spoke, a good few seconds of trying to recover from his laughing fit “Let's make something clear, shall we? We are not making fun of little spoons. Absolutely no fun. There is no shame in it, and I as a proud cuddler, cannot and will not judge big or little spoons in any way. Cuddling is fun and it makes you warm and happy, you should be proud of yourself if you are a good cuddler. However, that being said-” he put on a serious face and looked at the camera “I'm a knife.”
You looked at your husband then at the camera with a blank expression before shaking your head with a small roll of your eyes and added only three seconds after him “He's the little spoon.”
Robert couldn't help but snicker, the serious expression melting away before he nodded his head “Yes I'm the little spoon. What can you do eh?”he couldn't help his laughter “Seriously this is too embarrassing but I've stopped caring long ago.”
“I mean hey-”you laughed as you handed the cardboard in exchange for another one which you hand over to him “It could be worse, so let's not push our luck, shall we? Remember what you told me you feared to see in those questions most? Yeah, we haven't come across that yet.”
“Oh yes, how could I ever-” he said playfully, letting a small laugh before turning more serious, face completely honest – and words even more than anyone, besides you, could know – as he said to the camera “I prefer it when she tops, yes, to answer any google searches that haven't made it here yet. For reasons I can't understand but-”
You were your yelp could be described to a chimp's more than a human's but you didn't care, when you felt the heat rise up on your cheeks and your eyes widen a little in horror and more in shock and embarrassment as you exclaimed “Robert!”
“What?” all he did was laughing – or more specifically join in on the laughing of the rest of the crew around you and your probably dying from laughter and on the floor manager of yours.
“I shouldn't have- Oh I walked right into it, I shouldn't have brought that up.” you cleared your throat, shaking your head.
“Honestly, I don't understand- Why are you laughing? It's more relaxing, isn't it? I always found it better to-” he couldn't control his own laughter no matter how much he tried “Don't the gentlemen here agree?” he asked, earning more laughter but a couple nods as well “Ah there, a few brave souls, see? Better already!” he grinned at you, kissing your temple.
“Oh my- Just get on with the game, please!”
“See? She's so bossy sometimes that how can I help it if I ask to be sp-”
“Robert!” you squeaked, trying to get him back on track “I swear to you if you dare complete that sentence.” you gave him a look “Seriously, not what we're here for. Focus.”
“Alright, alright-” he cleared his throat “Back to business I suppose. Let's see what we got here-” he looked at the cardboard in his hands “Is (Y/n) (Y/l/n)... part of the MCU?” he read as he pealed the sticker.
“Well, that's a good one because you can't get a yes or no answer right away. Though we have filmed a movie, so theoretically I am part of the MCU, the movie is not out yet for my character to be really a part of the MCU. So-” you shrugged “Depending on how you see it.”
“Way I see it is the next big bad should be scared cause the strongest character of the MCU is about to join in! Plus the most cool one, would easily make even Tony fall for her!”
“He speaks as if he was even paying to me when I was saying my lines. You could see it in his eyes, the moment he saw me in my suit, he just lost all focus or grasp of reality.” you pointed out and he shrugged not innocently in the least bit.
“Eh guilty, but nobody can blame me. So-” he looked back at the cardboard “Is (Y/n) (Y/l/n)... in the movie 'The Judge'? Why, yes, actually she is. As well as the incredible mind behind the script of some of the scenes.”
“As well as the one to keep this guy on track on set, is the most important thing you're forgetting Downey.”
“That too.” he chuckled “Alright, next: Is (Y/n) (Y/l/n)... in the movie 'A Star Is Born'? Yes, yes she was. And she was incredible as always. Though I might be a bit biased seeing as I'm her number one fan. Maybe, just maybe. I don't know, I'm just sayin'.” he said with a small scoff that made you grin because he was always supportive of you without making a big deal out of it when it wasn't necessary, always caring that you knew it better than anyone that he admired you.
“Along with a wonderful cast, tough. Really it was one of the best movies I've been in, made so many friends too.”
“All in all a must watch. Ok, next one: Is (Y/n) (Y/l/n)... friends with Bradley Cooper?” he couldn't help but repress a heavy sigh that he made sure – and you knew took extra pleasure in – to be extra dramatic “More like, is (Y/n) (Y/l/n) attached to the hip with Bradley Cooper? That's the question people should be asking!”
You rolled your eyes, scoffing at your husband but it sounded more like a small laugh “You make it sound like I never spend time away from the guy!”
“Oh, I'm sorry, you actually do? I have never been witness to such a rare phenomenon. Maybe next time it happens, next time you actually spend like an hour away from him without having to text or call each other, I would very much like to be present so that I can believe it.” he said, voice full of sarcasm to the point you couldn't help but shake your head at him.
“Robert, for real-”
“No, I really mean it! I'm not being sarcastic or anything-” he looked at the cameras and people behind them “People think that Avengers Endgame is going to be the event of the decade, but I tell you if she takes a break from her friend, that will be it!”
“Alright, then, so what am I supposed to do on my free time if not spend it with my friends?” you asked in disbelief, eyes wide but a laugh leaving from your lips.
“Oh I don't know.” he shrugged innocently “Maybe, just maybe, spend some time with your husband too? Who knows how neglected he might feel after all.”
“Oh you little-” you stopped, only to narrow your eyes at him “Jealous you mean then?”
“Touche. But no.” he tsked and shrugged “Mildly neglected, slightly in need of spooning and probably a tad annoyed. But never jealous, honey, you know I don't do that. I don't really have the need to do that. I'm way above that.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, dear.” you sighed before looking back at the camera “Yes we are really good friends, if you didn't get it by now. Best buddies, I think that's what people call us; it's like every single person that knows us knows it and never questions it. And as for Robert-” you glanced at your husband with a shake of your head “He's a drama queen don't mind hi-”
“Me? I'm the drama queen? I was on IKEA with Evans last week and we saw this double king sized bed and you know what? I really started considering asking for it in case your buddy decided to join us for sleep other than breakfast, brunch, lunch, tea, supper, dinner and midnight snack!” he gave you a look that underneath all the playfulness you could read all too well. The small narrow of the eyes, the lips pursing in a tight smile and then following the click of the tongue before he spoke carefully-chosen words again “How does that sound to you, honey?”
“Unnecessary, darling.” you shrugged, a smirk lifting at the corners of your lips “You could just leave the bed and there, problem solved, plenty of space!” and a small laugh did escape your lips when the smile vanished entirely from his face “Anyhow, I think what's more important here than me spending the entire day with my friend, which by the way happens only once in a while stop overreacting-” you gave him a look at which he rolled his eyes “That's important is, what the hell where you and Chris Evans doing at IKEA?”
“Hopefully, if it all went well, making history!” he was soon back to grinning before looking down at the board “Let's see this one and hope it's not- Is (Y/n) (Y/l/n)... really kissing Bradley Cooper? Really? I-”
You were quick to clasp a hand over Robert's mouth before he got to say a thing and spoke yourself “I don't know what the person searching this had in mind. As in, is that really happening? Yes, yes it was. Hard as it was for me to believe. Even before our scene I was panicking on the inside, I'm surprised I looked so cool, because let's be honest it's Bradley freaking Cooper but-”
You paused when Robert took hold of your wrist, removing your hand to speak “And your husband is Robert freaking Downey Jr!” before putting it back where it was.
“Well, yeah, but honey you've been my husband for years and he-” you stopped only for a second, noticing the way he narrowed his eyes at you dangerously but in a way that only made everyone laugh “Well, it's still Bradley Cooper. So in the essence that it happened, yes. But in the essence that it was real, obviously, no... Insert wishful sigh. It was only acting.” you tried to pretend to be sad about it, but it soon fell apart when you laughed.
Granted, it didn't help that your husband was murmuring words that were muffled and made no sense behind your hand.
“You have something to add there honey?” you giggled, pulling your hand away from him this time.
“Plenty, none of which is suitable for the net. So, I'd much rather change the topic altogether. Is (Y/n) (Y/l/n)... married to Bradley Cooper? Are you for real now?” his entire face fell as he looked at the cameras in disbelief, a perfect contrast to your laughing reaction.
“Really not a good follow up search. Who put these in order? It's too fun right now.” you giggled more when you saw Robert shake his head and throw the entire board on the back with a flick of his hand.
“Someone that needs to get fired, that's who.” Robert grumbled, arms crossing over his chest “But then probably rehired and forced to learn everything about our love story and make an epic documentary about it or something.”
“Come to think of it, these are things many people have actually searched you know?” you mumbled deep in thought.
His head snapped in your direction so fast, eyes impossibly wide, as he stared at you in disbelief and in a way that you could hardly not laugh at “Are you kidding me now? I really didn't need to be reminded you know! I mean-” he scoffed, looking around “Why does everyone seem to forget we've been married? It's been years now!”
“See, maybe, it's possible that plenty of ladies and gentlemen out there don't know if they have any chances with you and want to find out if you really are out on the market or not?” you shrugged “Wouldn't surprise me. First thing I googled a week after I met was your dating status and let me tell you I was more than glad to fill that empty space!”
“See, she knows she is smooth and that it's very distracting.”
“Thing is, is it working?” you asked with a smirk.
He chuckled but his smile fell very shortly afterward “Definitely not this time. Mr Cooper and I will need to have a word.”
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lumosandnoxwriting · 3 years
Text
Enough - George Weasley
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Title: Enough Pairing: George x Fem!Reader, Adrian Pucey x Fem!Reader Summary: Losing the girl of his dreams was never in George’s plan, and watching her marry someone else certainly wasn’t either. He can only hope that it’s not too late to make things right. Warning: mentions of vomiting, alcohol abuse and comments that can be references to child abuse, but nothing is specifically mentioned.  A/N: I combined two different requests for this one because they were pretty similar! So this is for the anons who wanted George crashing the wedding off the woman he loves! Feedback is always welcome!! Tags: @feltondarling​ @pandaxnienke​ @raerae27​ @thefifthweasley 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
“There’s my girl,” George greets happily as Y/N skips towards him out of the Arithmancy classroom. He’s still slightly out of breath from running there from Herbology, but it doesn’t stop him from wrapping his arms around Y/N’s waist and lifting her up slightly.
“George!” Y/N giggles, wrapping her arms around his neck when he finally puts her back on the ground. “You can’t have missed me that much,” she teases, before pulling him down into a brief kiss. “You could have just waited for me in Transfiguration.”
George kisses Y/N again briefly before he grabs her hand, intertwining their fingers. They head towards McGonagall’s classroom slowly as the hall starts to fill with students heading towards the last lesson of the day. “I could have waited for you. But I wanted to walk you to class. I’m a gentleman after all, Y/N.”
“Mhm, sure you are,” Y/N teases, a pink flush on her cheeks.
George truly is her prince charming come to life. Despite the fact that they’ve been together for over three years, George is still finding ways to surprise Y/N and make her feel special. Every evening before a big test there’s a red rose and a bar of her favorite chocolate on her pillow, whenever she gets ready to leave school for a holiday break one of George’s jumpers ends up folded neatly in her trunk and most days George runs across the castle to make sure he can walk Y/N to class, even if it makes him late for his own.
“You break my heart, Y/N,” he jokes, using his grip on her hand to twirl her in a circle. He watches as a smile spreads across her cheeks, his heart pounding in his chest.
From the moment he first talked to Y/N his heart has beat for her and only her. George often feels like he gets lost in a sea of Weasleys, like he’s the one everyone glazes over. To George it seems like all of his siblings stand out in some way, Bill is the oldest, Charlie has his cool job with the dragons, Percy is the smart one, Fred is the loud charming one, Ron is the goofball who’s friends with Harry Potter and of course Ginny is the strong willed younger sister, while he’s just kind of there. He’s always felt like an extension of Fred, he’s George of Fred and George. And he loves being half of the dynamic duo that they are, he loves causing mischief and chaos with his brother. But sometimes he wants to be just George.
Y/N was the first person to just see him. He remembers the day it happened like it was yesterday. It was dinner time, and most of the people at the Gryffindor table were watching Fred recount their great escape from Filch after they charmed his broom to fly away every time he tried to grab it. Everyone seemed to be entranced by him, except for Y/N. She was sitting on George’s other side, completely oblivious to Fred’s antics. She had nudged him and asked what he thought of the transfiguration quiz they’d had the day before. Despite the fact that they were in the same year, George had never spoken to Y/N. She was pretty quiet and kept to herself, far away from the chaos George and Fred created.
But that night she had sought George out, and it made butterflies erupt in his stomach. It was an unfamiliar feeling, but he enjoyed it all the same. They had sat there and talked about which transfiguration spells they found most useful until dinner was over, and they had to head back to the common room. From then on just the sight of Y/N increased George’s heart rate and made butterflies appear in his stomach. Every time he felt himself getting lost in Fred’s shadow Y/N was there, usually with some kind of thought provoking question that would distract him.
When he finally got the courage to ask her on a date they had sat in the Three Broomsticks for hours, sharing shy glances and talking about anything that came to mind. George had asked Y/N how she knew transfiguration was his favorite class, and she revealed that she often watched him in the common room, and it was the only book he ever seemed to open. George had kissed her right there in the middle of the pub, his heart feeling like it was about to pound out of his chest. Y/N had seen him. Just him. And it made George feel like the most special person in the world. From that day on George didn’t care that most people only saw him as that Weasley boy. Or that he was only known to the masses as George of Fred and George. Because Y/N saw him as just George, and that was enough for him.
They reach the Transfiguration classroom then, and George pulls Y/N in for another brief kiss. “You’re my everything,” he breathes, holding her face in his hands.
“Everything okay, George?” Y/N asks, turning her head to press a kiss to his palm. While it’s normal for George to be affectionate, he usually saves such sentiments for when they’re alone and away from prying ears. Mostly Fred’s ears, but it’s unlike him to say something so meaningful while there’s students swirling around them.
Before George has a chance to answer McGonagall is sticking her head out of the classroom door and ushering them inside so class can begin.
-
“Next week? What do you mean we’re leaving next week?” George asks Fred incredulously.
Fred shushes George and looks to make sure no one heard before leaning in closer to his brother. “Yes, next week. I’m tired of dealing with mega bitch Umbridge and everything else is ready to go. The sooner we get into the space in Diagon Alley the sooner we can open up business and start taking over the world.”
George sighs and rubs his hands over his face. “I thought we would have more time. Leave closer to the end of the school year.”
“You’re not chickening out on me, are you, Georgie?” Fred jokes. When George doesn’t say anything Fred’s face drops. “Are you?” he asks again, his tone more serious.
“I wouldn’t say chickening out,” George mumbles.  
Fred slams his fist down on the table, causing George to jump. “We’ve talked about this, George. We’ve dreamed about this, for years. I can’t do it without you, you know that. How can you just abandon me?”
“Oh, stop being such a drama queen,” George responds with an eyeroll. “I’m all in, of course I am.” He bites his lip. “It’s Y/N that I’m worried about.”
“You’re such a fucking sap George, honestly,” Fred teases, ruffling George’s hair. “So, you’re dipping out of school a few months early? What’s the big deal? She’ll graduate, you guys will get married and make a fuck ton of ginger babies. You think she’s going to stop loving you because you don’t finish school or something?”
The thought of his future with Y/N spikes George’s heart rate, and he has to take a few deep breaths to calm himself down. “I don’t know. Something like that. What if she doesn’t think I’m good enough for her anymore? Or she forgets about me or something?”
“Now you’re being an idiot. Y/N is crazy in love with you, George. Like you’re the center of her universe sort of love. Mum and Dad kind of love.” Fred watches George for a moment, frowning when his brother refuses to meet his gaze. “Invite her to come with us if you’re so torn up about it, Georgie,” he suggests softly.
“What?” George asks, unable to believe what he’s hearing. Fred usually loves to tease George about how Y/N has him wrapped around her finger, and usually his remarks are accompanied by him pretending to crack a whip. George knows that it’s his way of showing his approval of their relationship, so it doesn’t bother him too much. But it doesn’t make it any less weird to hear Fred be so blatantly supportive of George and Y/N.
“Invite her along. Having an extra set of hands while we start everything up wouldn’t hurt, and Y/N is the perfect candidate. She’s way smarter than the two of us combined and she’s the perfect balance to all of our chaos. She’ll keep us grounded.” Fred rolls his eyes when George still doesn’t seem satisfied. “Okay, spill it. You clearly have been worrying about this for a while. What’s going on in that big ‘ol head of yours?”
George leans back in his chair, running a hand through his hair. His and Fred’s grand exit from school and how Y/N fits in to all of it has been weighing on his mind for weeks. The thought of bringing Y/N along crossed his mind ages ago, and as much as he wishes it was a viable option it’s not. For one, Y/N has always dreamed of being an Arithmancer. Arithmancy fascinates her to no end, and George has spent endless hours admiring her as she pours over different books, always making sure to listen to everything she tells him. He doesn’t want to take that away from her. She’ll need her NEWTS in order to work in the field, and if she comes to work at the joke shop now she’ll never be able to.
But mostly, he’s completely and utterly terrified of the joke shop failing. He and Fred have found success with their products within Hogwarts walls, but taking them out to the world at large is a huge risk. They’ve put every ounce of energy and what little money they have into it, and if it fails they’ll have nothing to fall back on. And George can’t subject Y/N to that. She deserves to have the world handed to her on a platter and even though George’s love for her reaches the end of the universe, that’s not enough to give her the life she deserves. They’ve talked about what they hope their future holds, and George wants to give Y/N everything her heart desires. But he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to do that, and his worst nightmare is letting her down.
“There’s a lot going on,” he admits honestly, choosing to ignore Fred’s tease. “I think I know what I have to do about Y/N and I’ve just been trying to deny it. But it’s the only option.”
“What’s that, George?” Fred asks, but he fears he might already know the answer.
George looks at Fred, a sullen look on his face. “I have to break up with her.”
-
“Tell me what’s wrong, Georgie. Please,” Y/N asks quietly, looking up at George.
It’s Saturday afternoon, and they’re laying together on George’s bed. It’s a Hogsmeade day, so they’re completely alone, just enjoying being together. George is laying on his back with Y/N cuddled on top of him, one of his hands is under her shirt, pressed against the small of her back while the other is holding one of her hands in his. He and Fred are leaving Monday afternoon, and George is trying to enjoy his last fleeting moments with Y/N.
“It’s nothing, baby. Just thinking about stuff,” he responds, his eyes refusing to leave the ceiling and meet hers.
Y/N presses a kiss to George’s bare chest before nuzzling the soft skin. “Thought we didn’t keep secrets from each other?” Ever since the day George walked with her to Transfiguration Y/N has been able to tell that something is off with him. Usually she can read him like an open book, and the fact that she can’t tell what’s going on in his head scares her.
George digs his fingers into the skin of Y/N’s back. He can feel her heartbeat against his chest, and he’s sure she can hear how loudly his heart is pounding in his. “Baby,” George coos, finally looking down at her. “Look at me, please.” When Y/N finally looks up at him George can see tears pooling in her eyes and it breaks his heart. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything in this world. You know that, right?”
“George,” Y/N breathes, squeezing his hand tightly. Normally George confessing his love for Y/N makes her feel dizzy, and makes her heart beat out of her chest. But this feels different to her. Like it’s the last time he’s ever going to say those things to her. “Don’t do this, George. Please.”
George swallow thickly. “I can’t be with you anymore, Y/N. I’m not. I’m not good enough for you. I don’t deserve you and I never have. You deserve the universe and try as I might I’m not the person who can give that to you. I’ve been telling myself I am, but I’m just not, Y/N.”
Tears stream down both of their faces and when Y/N surges forward to kiss George she can feel his tears mixing with hers on her cheeks. She kisses him hard, desperately trying to get him to return it. “Georgie please. I love you. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything before.”
“I know you do,” George says sadly. “But I don’t deserve your love. I’m sorry, Y/N. But it’s over between us.” George watches as Y/N scrambles out of his bed before turning on his side so he doesn’t have to see the woman he loves walk out of his life for good. The sound of the door slamming shut behind Y/N punches a crater in George’s chest, and he finally lets himself sob into his pillow.
-
“Turn that frown upside down,” Y/N’s mother tuts as she enters Y/N’s bedroom. “Today is supposed to be a day to celebrate. You should be happy.”
Y/N is sitting in front of the vanity in her bedroom, and she locks eyes with her mother in the mirror. Today is her graduation party, a day Y/N had been looking forward to since her parents started planning it at the beginning of the school year. But then George Weasley shattered her heart to pieces two months ago and she’s failed to find the joy in anything since. Y/N is surprised that she even managed to make it through the rest of the school year. The last thing she wants to do is pretend to be hopeful about her future in front of a room full of people when the future she’s spent the last 3 years dreaming about no longer has any possibility of becoming a reality.
“I don’t want to be happy,” Y/N responds lamely. “And I don’t want to pretend to be happy either.”
Y/N’s mother’s expression turns cold. “Your father and I have put up with your dramatics long enough, Y/N and we will not tolerate you embarrassing us today. So get yourself together, get dressed and put a damn smile on your face. This party is happening whether you want it or not.”
“Ugh!” Y/N huffs once her mother is gone, knocking her brush off of her vanity. Of course, today isn’t about her. It’s about her parents showing her off to all of their pureblood friends. Not only had George been the love of Y/N’s life, but he’d been her salvation, her savior from the horrid life her parents had been grooming her for. Y/N’s parents had raised her traditionally, and from a young age it was clear to her that she was going to marry a pureblood boy whether she loved him or not. And even though the Weasley family doesn’t prescribe to many of the pureblood traditions Y/N’s family does, their blood is as pure as can be and her parents reluctantly approved of their relationship.
Y/N and George had talked about what their future would look like, and they both easily came to the conclusion that it would include getting as far away from Y/N’s family as possible. Y/N sparred George from the more intimate details of her childhood but told him enough to make it clear she didn’t want anything to do with her parents once she was an adult. They decided on a large house on a hill in the country, near where George grew up. So their kids could run around barefoot and free, causing all the chaos they want. As graduation had neared, Y/N figured along with it would come a ring on her finger. George had promised to whisk her away from her family as soon as he could, he promised that he would be her new family and it was all they would need. But George had also promised to love Y/N forever. And now all she has left of him are his broken promises to match her broken heart.
Of course, Y/N’s parents had been thrilled when she returned home from Hogwarts with the news that she and George had broken up. All they’ve ever wanted was for Y/N to marry a pureblood boy that would take care of her and give them perfect pureblood grandchildren to spoil. Y/N is their only child, and therefore the only hope of their family legacy continuing on. They had been okay with Y/N marrying George not because they wanted her to be happy, but because they thought giving her what she wanted would give them the opportunity to instill their values in her children, so their traditions could carry on. But now that Y/N and George are no longer together, her possible mates are endless, and they’ve spent much of the past week discussing which son of their friends is best suited to marry her.
Not wanting to face her mother’s wrath, Y/N complies with her wishes. She fixes her hair just right, and puts on enough makeup to accentuate her features, before she changes out of her pajamas and into the expensive silk ballgown her mother had custom made. Y/N is sure it costs more than what most wizards make in a month, and the feeling of the smooth fabric against her skin makes Y/N want to throw up.
“There’s my princess,” Y/N’s father greets as she comes down the stairs.
Every click of her heels against the marble floor makes her stomach lurch, and Y/N can see her hand shake as she reaches out to take the arm her father has offered her. Guests have started to arrive, so she plasters her best fake smile onto her face. “Hi Daddy,” she greets, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
Y/N lets her father guide her around the room, shaking the hand of every person they meet and pretending to be interested in what they have to say to her. Y/N is great at pretending, she’s spent her whole life watching her parents pretend to love each other. They had been paired together in an arranged marriage and while they love to put on a show as the perfect couple for their friends, Y/N knows that they sleep in separate bedrooms and her father has had a string of mistress’ her whole life. Everything they do is for the sake of appearances. They don’t care about genuine happiness or pure love, as long as they give off the illusion that they hold those things. George had made Y/N feel both of those things, and now she’s not sure if she’ll ever get to experience them again.
After taking Y/N around the room to greet everyone, her father gets distracted in a conversation with Lucius Malfoy and Y/N takes the opportunity to get away. Her mother has strategically placed a few of their house elves near the staircase so Y/N can’t sneak back up to her room. Instead she finds an empty table as far away from everyone as possible and sulks over to it, sinking down in one of the chairs.
“Why the long face?” a familiar voice asks as they approach Y/N.
Y/N looks up, mustering up the best fake smile she can. “Oh, Adrian! How nice to see you!”
Adrian rolls his eyes as he takes a seat next to Y/N. “You don’t have to pull that crap with me. You know that, Y/N.”
Y/N sighs in relief, and lets her sullen expression take over again. Adrian grew up in the estate next door to Y/N, so Y/N spent a lot of time with him growing up. She spent time with the children of her parent’s other friends as well, but Adrian is the only one she truly considered a friend. He found many of the things his parents taught him utterly ridiculous as well, and it allowed them to grow closer. Their friendship had ultimately faded when they arrived at Hogwarts and Adrian was sorted into Slytherin and Y/N was sorted into Gryffindor, but Y/N still considers him a friend.
“Thanks. I think if I have to pretend to smile one more time my face will actually freeze that way,” she jokes.
“Yeah, I heard about that. About George. I’m sorry.” Adrian reaches out to give Y/N a sympathetic pat on the shoulder.
Y/N rolls her eyes. “Pretty sure the whole fucking world has heard about it at this point. You should have seen how happy my parents were when they found out. Pretty sure it was the only time either of them has felt genuine joy.”
“Yeah, I heard your dad talking about it with mine the night after we got back from school,” Adrian says. “I see he went out and bought you that diamond bracelet,” he comments, gesturing towards the piece of jewelry on her wrist.
Y/N snorts in laughter. “Graduation present my fucking ass. Only my parents would give me a present to celebrate my heart getting stomped on. Fucking pricks.”
Adrian reaches out and puts his hand on top of Y/N’s, giving it a sympathetic squeeze. “I really am sorry, you know. I could tell how much you loved him.”
“He was my everything,” Y/N admits sadly. As weird as it sounds, it feels good to be talking about this with Adrian. Her parents clearly think one week is a sufficient amount of time to get over a three-year long relationship and she’s been dying to talk about her feelings with someone. “We had plans, you know? Turns out he had plans of his own.”
Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes has been the front-page story of the Daily Prophet since it’s opening last month. The store has been breaking records left and right and people can’t seem to get enough of it. The store was packed with people when Y/N went to Diagon Alley with her mother for a dress fitting earlier in the week and the sight of the store alone made her want to cry.
“You didn’t know? About the store?”
Y/N shakes her head. “I knew he and Fred wanted to start one. He had talked about it loads, it always made him so excited. I just didn’t know how close they were to making it a reality. Though I suppose that was on purpose, since he dumped me right before opening. I guess the future we talked about starting wasn’t good enough for him.”
“He’s a dick, Y/N. You’re amazing. He should have been on his knees praising you everywhere you went. Any guy would be tripping over themselves to give you anything and everything you could ever want,” Adrian comforts, squeezing her hand again.
Y/N smiles her first genuine smile in months, completely unaware that her mother is watching her intensely, a plan forming in her head.
-
Y/N wakes up the next morning to a soft knock at her door. She lets out a yawn and stretches before muttering a soft ‘come in.’ She figures it’s one of the house elves, so when Y/N’s mother enters her room with her father trailing behind her stomach lurches and she sits up. “What’s going on? Did Nan die?”
“Oh of course not, it’s nothing like that Y/N,” her mother assures with a laugh, sitting down on the edge of her bed.
“We just have something to talk to you about,” her father says from his spot in the doorway.
Y/N sighs a breath of relief. Ever since her grandfather passed away Y/N’s Nan has become much more vocal about her distaste for some pureblood traditions and she’s the only family member Y/N can even remotely tolerate. “Thank God. What do we need to talk about then?”
“Your father and I have been talking a lot since your graduation about the next steps in your life,” her mother starts. “Marriage, children, things like that.”
“And we know that you thought that Weasley boy was going to marry you but it’s time to be realistic about things,” her father says firmly.
Y/N rolls her eyes to keep from crying. “Do we really need to talk about this right now? I just woke up.”
“Yes, we do. Because I saw the way you were talking with Adrian Pucey yesterday, and told your father all about it so he could have a conversation with his father.”
Y/N’s stomach drops, and her chest starts to tighten. “No. No you didn’t. Tell me you didn’t.” The tears she’d tried to avoid a moment ago start to form in her eyes.
“I did,” her father confirms. “He agrees that you and Adrian would be a perfect match. Adrian already has a job in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement at the Ministry making good money, and his father has agreed to pay for your estate if your mother and I pay for the wedding.”
“No,” Y/N cries softly, hot tears rolling down her cheeks. Adrian isn’t a bad person, but Y/N always hoped she’d marry for love, not for connections.
“Oh quit the dramatics, Y/N. Adrian comes from a good family, you should be happy,” Y/N’s mother squeezes her leg a little too tightly to be comforting as she stands up. “Now get out of bed and get yourself ready. Adrian will be by with his family this afternoon to formally propose so that the announcement can be printed in tomorrow’s Daily Prophet.”
Once her parents have disappeared Y/N collapses back into bed and sobs.
-
“Will you at least act like you’ve touched a woman before, Adrian!” Adrian’s mother scolds from somewhere behind the camera.
Adrian sighs and gives Y/N an apologetic look before placing his hand on the small of her back. They’ve been trying to get the perfect photo to include with their engagement announcement for the past 20 minutes, and Y/N feels like a doll being played with. Her and Adrian are standing facing each other, and per her mother’s demands Y/N has her left hand on his bicep to show off the fat diamond sitting on her finger while her right hand rests on Adrian’s shoulder. One of Adrian’s hands is cupping her cheek, while the other rests on the small of her back. At least now it does, Adrian has spent the last five photos with it just hovering over her body.
“Okay, now look at each other like you’re in love,” Y/N’s mother demands. Y/N looks into Adrian’s eyes and plasters her best fake smile onto her face and she can hear her mother make a satisfied noise. “Now as the picture is taken Adrian I want you to lean in and kiss Y/N’s forehead.”
Adrian opens his mouth to protest, but Y/N gives him a look. “Just do it,” she murmurs between gritted teeth as she continues to smile. “I just wanna get this shit over with.”
When the photographer tells them to move they do, and the flash of the camera nearly blinds Y/N as Adrian kisses her on the forehead to complete the photo. Thankfully the photo seems to satisfy both their mothers, and Adrian and Y/N can finally break apart as they head into the other room with the photographer to write the announcement.
“I’m really sorry about all of this,” Adrian apologizes.
Y/N collapses onto the couch with a sigh. “It’s not your fault our parents are the way they are.”
“I know,” Adrian responds, sitting down next to her. “But you’re very obviously still in love with George. This can’t be easy.”
“It really fucking sucks,” Y/N admits with a sad laugh. “I always thought we’d skip all of this bullshit stuff and just get married in his parent’s backyard or something. I don’t care about all of this traditional crap. I mean who even reads those stupid engagement announcements? Why do people care who’s getting married?”
Adrian laughs. “I’m sure no one we know does. It’s just for them to show off to all of their friends. Your mum can show the picture off and brag about how big that stupid diamond is, and my dad can show it off and brag about how hot of a wife he found me.”
“Ew,” Y/N grimaces, a shiver running down her spine. “I really hope no one we know sees it. Not because you’re a bad person or anything, but just because of how embarrassing that photo is gonna be.” In reality, Y/N hopes that no one in George’s family ever sees that picture.
-
“Nice of you to finally join the living,” Fred comments as he watches George shuffle out of his bedroom. It’s Saturday, so the shop opens a bit later than usual and George has decided to take full advantage and sleep in. Fred puts the Daily Prophet down and pours his brother a cup of coffee as George sits across from him.
“Very funny,” he groans, grabbing the cup and taking a large gulp.
George should feel like he’s on top of the world. Their shop is a huge success, he and Fred are living on their own and they’re finally making some real money. But in reality he feels like shit. He hasn’t felt the same since he broke up with Y/N. His chest feels empty and hollow without her in his life, and he spends all day at the store pretending to be his usual jovial self only to lock himself in his room with a bottle of firewhiskey every night. He knows drinking is not the way to solve his problems, but the firewhiskey burns his throat as it goes down, and it’s the only time of day where he truly feels alive.
“You reek, George. How much did you drink last night?” Fred asks, his voice full of concern. Over the past two months Fred has watched George slowly become a shell of the person he once was. He fakes it quite well for everyone else, but Fred can see through all the bullshit. He feels absolutely helpless as he watches George destroy himself, and Fred’s starting to get desperate.
George shrugs, taking another sip. “I don’t know. Half a bottle, maybe more. Who cares?”
“I do,” Fred insists. “You can’t keep living like this George. I’m worried about you.” Fred pauses. “I know you still care about Y/N-“
“Don’t,“ George says harshly, cutting Fred off. “Don’t talk about her, don’t even say her name. She’s all I can fucking think about and it hurts too much to hear you say it.”
“Okay,” Fred says softly, picking the paper back up. He starts to flick through the pages mindlessly, just trying to seem occupied to give George some space. Fred wants to help him, but he also doesn’t want to push him deeper into his depression. He’s just turned the page to the engagement announcements when George clears his throat.
“You get to the engagement announcements yet?” George asks. When Fred looks up at him confused George rolls his eyes. “Lee and I have a bet going, to see how long it takes for someone from our class to show up in them. You know how those traditionalists are, they pair their kids off before the ink on their diplomas starts to dry.”
Fred laughs, and let’s his eyes scan the page for a moment. He’s about to hand the paper to George when his eye catches a rather large photo. He gasps and immediately crushes the paper up. “Nope. No one from our class yet.”
“You’re full of shit,” George chides, narrowing his eyes. “Come on, give it here. If there’s an announcement in there I win 10 galleons.”
Fred holds the paper just out of George’s reach. “I told you there’s nothing in there. No Galleons for you. Now drink your coffee and get ready so we can head down into the shop.”
George gets up as if he’s going to head towards the bathroom, but he ends up charging at Fred and grabbing the paper from him. “I don’t know what your problem is, did Lee promise you part of his winnings or something?” George opens the paper, letting his eyes scan the announcements. He’s not really paying attention to the photos, just trying to find a name that sounds familiar. “Ha! There it is! Adrian Pucey, who would have thought.” But as George continues to read the announcement bile comes up his throat and he throws the paper down so he can run to the bathroom and heave into the toilet.
-
Y/N strolls through Diagon Alley slowly, basking in the freedom. Ever since the engagement announcement appeared in the Daily Prophet her house has become wedding central. Gifts and cards from distant family members and acquaintances arrive in droves every day, and Y/N’s mother is driving her crazy with the plans. Every day from the moment she wakes up until the moment she goes to bed is filled with wedding decisions that she truly doesn’t give a shit about. She doesn’t care about the seating chart or the color scheme. The only thing she cares about is that she’s not marrying George Weasley, and no matter how many plans they make that fact will never change.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Y/N apologizes. She’d been so lost in thought she ran right into someone. She looks up at the man she bumped into and her heart stops beating when she looks into a pair of familiar brown eyes and spots a shock of fiery red hair. But a moment later she realizes it’s not who she thinks it is. “Oh. Fred.”
“That’s all you have to say?” Fred sneers, suddenly filling with rage. He knows what happened between Y/N and George is not her fault, but his resentment towards her has started to grow since the engagement announcement. George has stopped leaving his room at all, and the sound of his drunken sobs keep Fred up at night. It kills Fred to see his brother hurting, and he can’t help but blame Y/N for all of it.
“You saw it then?” Y/N asks, hanging her head in shame.
“Even if I didn’t that god-awful gaudy diamond on your hand is a dead giveaway.” Fred clears his throat. “George did too.”
Y/N’s head snaps up and she can feel tears forming in her eyes. “No, no, no. He wasn’t supposed to see that. Is he okay? How’s he doing?” Y/N watches as Fred’s jaw clenches. “Please, Fred. I need to know.”
“Why do you care?” he practically shouts. “So you can go and laugh about it with Adrian? I can’t believe you, Y/N. George gave you his all. You were his entire world. You were apart what? Two months? And now you’re about to get married to some other fuck head. Why? Because he has money? Because his family has a better status?”
Y/N wipes away some of the tears that have started to fall down her cheeks. “Fuck you, Fred. I don’t care about any of that, you know that. And do I need to remind you that George is the one who broke up with me? I trusted him with my heart, and he crushed it. All I ever wanted was George, all I still want is George.”
Fred takes a deep breath, needing to calm himself down. “Then why the hell are you marrying Adrian? George is beside himself. He doesn’t even come out of his room anymore.”
“You think I have a choice?” Y/N asks, her voice cracking under the weight of the emotions she’s feeling. “I’m not marrying Adrian because I love him, I’m marrying Adrian because my parents arranged it to be that way. My parents are vile, Fred. They don’t see me as their daughter, I’m a pawn for them to play with. It’s either submit or be punished and I’m not going to stand here and let you make me feel even worse than I already do.”
Fred grabs Y/N’s wrist as she turns to walk away, and he pulls her into a tight hug. “Y/N, I had no idea. George said your parents were traditionalists, but he never mentioned anything like that.”
“Because I never told him,” Y/N admits as she pulls away from Fred. She wipes away a few of the lingering tears as she looks up at him. “George is too innocent, too pure to know about the shit they put me through growing up. George is the only person who ever truly made me feel loved and without him I feel like I’m in a horrible nightmare that I can never wake up from.”
“You can’t marry Adrian, Y/N. You and George, you guys are soulmates,” Fred says quietly. “You have to be together.”
Y/N scoffs. “Tell your brother that, he’s the one who dumped me out of nowhere. Clearly he doesn’t feel the same away about me as I do him.”
“You can’t seriously believe that, Y/N. George is going crazy without you. He barely eats, he barely sleeps.” Fred swallows thickly. “He’s been drinking. A lot. Way more than anyone should. It’s scary. Every time I try and talk to him he shuts me out. He’s lost without you.”
The ache Y/N has felt in her chest since the day George ended things intensifies with Fred’s every word. It kills her to know that George is hurting just as much as she is. “I still love him, Fred. With every fiber of my being. But I don’t know if that’s enough anymore. Everything’s gotten so complicated.”
“Just promise me one thing. Promise me that you won’t walk down that aisle and marry Adrian until you talk to George.” Y/N opens her mouth to say something, but Fred puts his hand up to stop her. “I’ll take care of George. I’ll Stupefy him and drag him to you if I have to. Just promise me you won’t marry him until you see George.”
“I promise, Fred. The wedding is next week on Friday. I’ll wait for George until the moment I have to walk down the aisle. But if he doesn’t make it.” Y/N shakes her head. “It’ll be too late.”
-
When Fred gets back to their flat after his conversation with Y/N he’s filled with determination. George is the person he cares most about in the world and he’ll be damned if he lets him ruin is life. He goes straight to George’s bedroom door, using his wand to unlock it. He throws it open, flipping on the light switch.
“What do you want you fucking prick?” George groans, rolling over in his bed.
Fred carefully moves around the firewhiskey bottles strewn about on the floor and heads over to the window. He throws the curtains open, letting the sunlight shine on George for the first time in weeks. “Get your ass out of bed. You’re done wallowing in self-pity.”
“Fuck you,” George grumbles, opening his eyes to glare at Fred. “What’s the point in doing anything anymore? I ruined my chance with the only girl I’ve ever wanted. She’s supposed to marry me, Fred. Not that fucking moron Adrian. He doesn’t love her like I do, and he never will. But she doesn’t deserve me. Not anymore anyway.”
Fred sighs and sits down on the edge of George’s bed. “You’re right, he doesn’t love her like you do. And she doesn’t love him either.”
“Nice try, Fred. But I’m not getting out of this bed no matter how many lies you tell me,” George sighs, before turning over in bed.
“Her parents are making her marry Adrian, George,” Fred says firmly.
George turns back to face Fred and sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “I’m sorry what did you say?”
“I ran into Y/N, when I was down in Diagon Alley. I really let her have it, Georgie. I told her off for getting with Adrian so soon after you ended it with her, and she just broke down crying.” Fred reaches out and puts a comforting hand on George’s knee. “She’s in love with you, George. Not him. Her parents arranged their marriage, she doesn’t have a choice.”
George puts his head in his hands, letting Fred’s words sink in. Of course, it all makes sense to him now. Y/N had once briefly mentioned that her parents never loved each other, George had brushed it off at the time, but it’s all becoming clear. Arranged marriages between pureblood families is pretty commonplace, and he feels like an idiot for not realizing it sooner.
“I’m such a fucking idiot, Freddie,” George groans, looking up at his brother. “I never should have even dumped her in the first place. What the fuck was I thinking? I was scared of disappointing her when in reality I was being a big fat idiot.”
“Big fat idiot is right,” Fred teases, trying to get George to smile. “But the important part is that it’s not too late. I made her promise not to marry him until she talks to you again.”
“Why didn’t you start with that?” George asks, finally cracking a smile. “So what’s the plan then?”
Fred grins at George, his eyes alight with mischief. “We’ve got a wedding to crash.”
-
Y/N fidgets as she stands in the middle of her room, unable to keep herself from glancing at the clock. She’s standing there in her wedding dress, thirty minutes away from walking down the aisle and she’s yet to see George or hear from Fred. The possibility that George doesn’t want to see her ever again makes her want to throw up, but she has to hold out hope that he’s going to show up. She knows now more than ever that George is the person she’s supposed to end up with, and she prays that Fred made him realize that too.
“There’s my girl.”
At the sound of George’s voice Y/N turns around a smile spreading on her face. “George,” she greets. In the blink of an eye George is across the room and wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling Y/N into his chest. Y/N wraps her arms around George’s neck and presses their lips together in a desperate kiss.
“I love you,” George murmurs as they pull apart. “I have always loved you Y/N. Breaking up with you was the worst decision I made in my entire life.”
Y/N can feel the tears falling down her face, and she presses their foreheads together. “Why did you do it, George? You mean everything to me. I would walk to the ends of the earth to be with you. You have to know that.”
“I do baby, I do,” George whispers, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I was scared of letting you down. You are a Goddess, Y/N. You deserve to have the world handed to you on a silver platter and I wasn’t sure if I would ever be able to give that to you. You deserve the future we dreamed of having, and it killed me to think you’d never get that with me.”
“I don’t care about having any of that. All I care about is having you,” Y/N admits, kissing George briefly. “You made me feel safe, and happy and loved, and that’s all I need, George.”
George kisses Y/N again, needing to feel her lips on his. “I know that now. And I really hope it’s not too late to give that all to you, Y/N. You are the only person who has ever made me feel special, the only person who’s ever bothered to look at me. And if you let me I’m going to spend the rest of my life making you feel special too.”
“I love you, George. It’s always been you. It will always be you.” Y/N breathes in deeply as George kisses her again, finally feeling like she’s home.
“I love you so much and as much as I would love to stand here and kiss you forever we gotta go. Fred should be almost done setting things up by now. Get changed and grab some stuff, okay?”
Y/N nods and gets undressed, throwing on whatever clothes her hands reach first. She throws a few of her favorite things into her school trunk, which is still packed with her things from the end of the school year. “Good riddance,” Y/N mumbles as she yanks off her engagement ring and throws it onto her dresser.
“Ready to go?” George asks, grabbing Y/N’s trunk.
Just as her hand closes around her wand explosions start to go off and people downstairs start screaming. “What the hell is that?” she asks, hooking an arm around George’s.
George grins down at her, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “A new line of whizbangs we’re testing out. A little goodbye present for your parents and Adrian.”
-
“Well would you look at that,” George chuckles as he reads the paper.
Y/N presses a kiss to the side of his head as she sets his coffee down on the table, letting George pull her into his lap. “What’s that, love?”
George puts the paper down so he can rest one of his hands on Y/N’s ever-growing baby bump and the other can cup her cheek and pull their lips together. No matter how many years they’ve been together, kissing Y/N makes him just as giddy as the first time. “Adrian’s getting married.”
Y/N laughs and rests her hand on top of the one George has on her belly, intertwining their fingers. “Think we’ll get invited?”
“Considering the way we ruined his first wedding? Not a chance in hell.” George teases with a smile, pulling Y/N in for another kiss.
They might not have as much money as Adrian, or a big rolling estate to show off. But Y/N and George have each other and their growing family – and that’s enough for them.
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TDA Characters on TikTok
Julian: doesn’t post very often because he is a father but when he does it is always him painting or drawing something with lofi music or him sharing a tidbit about one of the children or other family members (Kieran, Cristina, Diana, Emma and Aline included and always with their explicit permission). 
- He’s very popular without even trying and most assume he is a young single father (which isn’t wrong).
-  Mostly finds himself on cottagecore or parent side of tiktok. 
- doesn’t understand all the thirsty comments he gets because “I don’t even show my face, Emma, why would they think I’m attractive?” but always shares them with Emma because they make her laugh.
Emma: Does it for the girls and the gays, that’s it. Posts nearly every day and page is generally a mixture of self defense videos, vintage makeup/dress tutorials, and videos slamming the patriarchy but also always does the latest dancing videos and other trends.
- always tries to get others to join in on her trend videos, mostly joined by Mark and Cristina when she can rope her in.
- Nearly broke tiktok when she got Julian to do the “You could have been nicer to me” trend because NO ONE KNEW THEY WERE DATING  AND EVEN THOUGH THEY COULDN’T SEE HIS FACE EVERYONE RECOGNIZED HIS VOICE AND HE WAS SO SWEET WHEN HE OFFERED TO TAKE HER TO HER FAVORITE THRIFT STORE AND BUY HER SOME DRESSES AFTER HE PUT THE “BABY” DOWN FOR HIS NAP. 
- - everyone knows the “baby” is actually at least seven but no one ever said his name because he’s too young so everyone collectively knows him as “the baby”
- solidly on gay tiktok even though she’s straight. 
Mark: Daily blogs. Everyone thinks he’s shit posting because it’s all wild things like standing in a middle of a circle of flowers and talking about “this pixie named Aelia lives here and she’s a BITCH”. Often shows videos of him cooking or baking wild concoctions that range from “Okay, I’d try that” to “this is why God has abandoned us”. 
- Does dancing videos with Emma all the time and often acts as the “creeper” in her self defense videos. 
- Caused a meltdown on tiktok when he casually mentioned his “partners” and started creating videos to raise awareness for polyamory. 
- Revealed Julian was his brother when he posted a video of Julian yelling at him for a solid minute because “the baby is covered in honey, why is the baby covered in honey, Mark? We don’t let the baby bathe in honey even if he really wants to Mark -” 
- solidly on cooking and gay tiktok, often takes a sharp left into “crackhead” tiktok
Kieran: Posts videos of cats he finds and rates them. The lowest ever was a 9.5/10 because “she bit me fairly hard but I scared her and I deserved it for trying to pet her without permission”. 
- does not do any trends or reveal much personal information. 
- Was always considered wholesome until he (on a dare from Dru) posted a video joking about choking a bossy sub that rounded up on kinktok. 
-- everyone went through a brief freak out trying to figure out if he had a partner but it was never solved. 
--- No one noticed that Mark posted a video joking about how “one of his partners was absolutely in the doghouse” accompanied by someone sitting in a cardboard ‘doghouse’ around the exact same time. 
- solidly on animal tiktok but occasionally veers into kinktok with more (less explicit) dom/sub humor. 
Cristina: Does not have her own tiktok but often appears in videos with Emma and occasionally shows up in Mark’s. 
- Absolute sweetheart always, even when she is demonstrating a self defense move with Emma, and is always commended for trying Mark’s foods. 
-- especially commended when trying the foods while, offscreen, their other partner yells about “Hell food” 
- is flattered with all the comments begging her to start her own tiktok but doesn’t feel like she has the time to fully commit to one properly. 
Livvy: (She’s alive, don’t @ me) Does absolutely all the new trends and also does various acting POVs 
- her soulmate POVs are most popular but she also is known for dueting act-along POVS with other popular creators
- also occasionally posts videos rating the best male actors/superheroes and once got into a long drawn out back to back war with someone on whether or not Captain America really had “America’s ass” 
- had a very popular multiple-part series about being a girl in the MCU dating the various Avengers but ended it abruptly after Endgame because “Natasha Romanoff deserved better and it hurts too much”
-she used to post occasional videos where she laments on being the “only single person in the family” but she started getting some very creepy duets and comments from actual adults so she told Julian and they both agreed it would be better for her to stop them
-- Julian did take the time to duet the people being inappropriate and explained very clearly that their actions were wrong and directed towards a LITERAL CHILD and shamed multiple accounts into flat out deleting
Ty: Posts literally whatever interests him. Has two animal series - one where he shares facts about his favorite kinds of animals and one where he showcases various animals he’s found in the tidepools or around the house. 
- has done several video series of rescuing animals and has at least one where Julian could be heard lecturing him on trying to raise wild animals in his bedroom again 
-- tiktok freaked out because this happened right around the same time as Julian calling out all the creeps on Livvy’s tiktok and no one knew that the twins he talked about were them  
- also does videos about his favorite literary works - notably Sherlock Holmes - and true crime/mystery videos 
-- he always makes sure to carefully put in warnings for anything remotely violent or triggering and has never had a single video taken down for violating the rules even when he did a multiple part series on the Black Dahlia and how her crime was ‘absolutely solved but because the man who did it was rich and white, he got away with it and probably also killed at least two other women, one of whom was killed in the Philippines” 
-  sometimes does twin videos with Livvy because she likes them and it makes her happy. 
Dru: Queen of witch/horror/true crime tiktok. 
- got in trouble with Julian for showing actual runes in videos but everyone just thought they were for the aesthetic so it was fine
- most popular videos is a series where she rates horror movies on how they do on the bechdel test 
- sometimes duets Ty’s or Livvy’s videos just to drag them (with love) 
- Has a very popular series on “women who snapped” and is known for almost rarely during part 2s (and therefore having to speak very very fast) 
- also complains constantly because her videos will get taken down even if they aren’t that violent and includes clips from far worse videos from male creators to point out the double standard
- occasionally dives into tiktok drama just to dabble and then sits on the sidelines and watches it happen
-- 100% built a balloon arch to flex on That Balloon Girl 
- solidly on witchtok and horrortok
Kit: King of petty/messy tiktok who also posts random videos about crime and occasional blogs
- switches from either sharing no information to borderline oversharing childhood trauma
- shares videos on borderline illegal ways to get back at exfriends/expartners/exfamily members/general enemies 
-- putting fish in people’s vents, subscribing them to magazines under various similar names, sending them glitter in the mail, opening their oreos and taking out the middle of all of them, putting baby locks on their cabinets and in the outlets they can’t see (like under the bed so they can’t get plug in their cellphone charger at night), etc. 
- is always eating some sort of snack, no matter what he is doing
- also posts videos about personal safety like what locks will actually keep people out and what ones are easy to break into
--caused several minor freakouts when he casually mentioned his father taught him how to do it
- occasionally posts videos with an adorable toddler and a young couple who he refers to as “mom and dad” even though they look at MOST five years older than him and he often makes parental abandonment jokes/comments
- no idea where he lives because he speaks in an American accent and talks constantly about American/California life but everything around him looks very British 
- absolutely dives head first into every tiktok drama and will go for the throat for anyone who makes ableist/sexist/racist/homophobic comments without hesitation
-- his drags are legendarily savage and he has caused numerous problematic accounts to just straight up disappear
- duets videos from Livvy, Dru, Mark, Emma and Julian ( with lots of savage drags) but no one knows how he knows them because he is absolutely somewhere in the UK and all of them are based in California/US
-- he also notably NEVER duets Ty
--- the mystery is finally solved when Kit does a livestream and reveals that he met all of them because he was briefly living with them before getting placed with his family, the young couple who actually are his mom and dad 
---- he is very vague about the living situation but everyone assumes he was a foster child 
- he once caused a mass freakout on Tiktok (that actually spilled over to twitter and buzzfeed) when he announced he was going back to the US to visit friends and then posted a video with the caption “when you see your boyfriend in person for the first time in MONTHS but he’s too distracted by some wet 🐱” 
-- the video panned out from Kit’s unamused face to Ty gently rubbing a tiny wet kitten  with a soft cotton towel 
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katierosefun · 2 years
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i originally had a september wrap-up post queued but then tumblr fucking ate it, which made me very angry because i didn’t want to re-type the whole thing, but i’m procrastinating, so here i am, re-typing the whole thing of all the things i watched/consumed over the month of september, even if it’s a little late: (it’s fine, i didn’t watch a whole ton of stuff except...a lot of kdramas lmao. oh, and visions.) 
k-dramas: 
beyond evil 
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okay, so i think this has been on my rec list for literally forever now, but...besties, i’m on my fifth watch of this goddamn show in the span of maybe two months, so if that doesn’t tell you how much this show has been a comfort/eating my brain lately, idk what will. 
i literally never shut up about this show, but if you’ve somehow been missing from my blog for a little bit, a quick summary: lee dong sik (played by the ever-wonderful shin ha kyun) was accused of murder + kidnapping a few young women, including his own twin sister 20 years ago. he’s lived a pretty quiet life on his own, and now 20 years later, his whole world is turned upside down again when hotshot new inspector han joo won (played by the talented yeo jin goo) comes into this little town. when the murders start up again, these two are thrown into a hellishly complex mystery. will throw you in for a hellish loop. i think my thoughts best summarize this show as come for the murder mystery, stay for whatever the hell joo won and dong sik have. 
okay, but all joking aside about how much i love joo won and dong sik (because...i truly do love them), this show was incredibly healing. once again: this show has quickly become a comfort show, basically to the point where i just watch it whenever i feel down (which happens to be a lot these days). idk man. humans aren’t meant to carry burdens on their own and all that stuff. sometimes u just need to remind yourself that. 
the crowned clown 
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so, after watching beyond evil the fourth time, i realized that maybe i wanted to watch some of the actors’ other works. that was how i found myself watching the crowned clown, which...is an excellent kdrama now available on netflix (also on viki for free, just as beyond evil is). honestly, it’s been a hot second since i’ve watched historical dramas (saeguks), so i was a little unsure what to expect, but this show. bro. this show reminded me just how much i love historical dramas, because the court politics? the costumes? the music? the acting? fantastic. 
basically, this show is about the young clown (ie. performer) ha seon (played by yeo jin goo) who now has to replace the king, who might be like...two seconds away from snapping (if he hasn’t already). the reason they’re able to do this is because they look exactly identical despite not being related. 
this story is honestly wonderful. i loved it, and it’s an interesting way to look at the story behind the actual king (because. apparently this king was a real person, and i think his story has inspired quite a few other korean movies/shows). i thought yeo jin goo was brilliant in this show, and it’s really no surprise he became the youngest person ever nominated for a baeksang award because of this series. i was truly blown away by just how versatile he proved to be of an actor, and his dynamics with the other characters (the queen, the secretary being my fave, as well as the old eunuch jo), i just...bro. i’ll admit i wasn’t the biggest fan of the romance (don’t get me wrong! it was sweet!), but i think that might have been because this was so court politics heavy, and i adored it for that. if you’ve never watched a historical drama but want to and just don’t know where to start, i highly recommend this. 
d.p. 
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bro....this show was dark. i watched it all in 2 days (pretty easy to do, considering it’s 6 episodes and maybe 40-50 minutes long per episode), and i needed to lie down. this is just one of those shows that i feel is...very important to watch, even if the content matter isn’t very bright. 
basically, dp is about two deserter pursuit officers: ahn jun ho (played by jung hae in) and han ho yul (played by koo kyo hwan). deserter pursuit officers are basically people who chase after people who deserted their military post--and for those who don’t know, being in the military is mandatory for men in south korea. this is the result of the armistice between the north and the south--basically, since north korea never agreed to an actual peace treaty, south korea is constantly under threat of war, which is why men need to serve at least a few years. (this is why a lot of actors + kpop band members often take breaks from their careers--to fulfill their military service time. because yup, even celebrities aren’t exempt from service!) 
anyways, this show really doesn’t pull back their punches. major trigger warnings for things like intense harrassment, suicide, domestic violence...it really does capture just how dark life can be, and also how toxic the military can be for men. because of that, i felt this show was incredibly well-crafted, incredibly nuanced, and in the end, i just felt sad. that said though, there was a hopeful ending, and i’m glad that this show was renewed for a second season, as i think this show is just...really important. 
squid game 
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okay, so i don’t want to be that person, but your girl was watching squid game right after it came out, so i was here before the hype train--but okay, okay, i digress. (i am glad that this show is getting hype. i feel it’s very important that people watch this show.) 
if you haven’t noticed how squid game’s climbed to #1 on netflix worldwide (i think, anyways), well, then...buddy. squid game is about a bunch of people who have the chance to earn lots of money by playing what seems like innocent children’s games. (spoilers: they are far from innocent.) 
this show scarred me, to be honest. i needed to watch something lighthearted after this, just because it was so intense. lots of trigger warnings for blood and gore, as well as just. losing faith in humanity. but also, like dp, i felt this show was necessary. it was incredibly well-constructed in that it showed just what desperate people will do in order to survive, as well as exactly what a terrible capitalistic society will do to the working class. it’s depressing and sad, but also incredibly chilling because like. you can’t help but watch the characters and think, but would i do the same thing? i just want to pay off my own debt and take care of my family. wouldn’t i do the same thing? 
i won’t say more of this show for fear of spoilers, but. let me just say. that i really am glad this show exists. i hope people actually notice what the fuck it’s saying about our current system too, because hm, maybe i just want to suck the fun out of things, but there’s something very disturbing about how people are already cute-ifying this show (ie. “this is what i would wear to the squid games! :D” and “look at these squid-game inspired cookies! :D”, as if this show didn’t just deliver a heart-crushing message about capitalism + how the wealthy fuck over anyone who isn’t the 1% BUT ANYWAYS) 
tv 
star wars: visions 
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lately i’ve been feeling weird about star wars for lots of different reasons which i don’t particularly feel like addressing today, but. visions really reminded me why i fell in love with star wars in the first place. i think for starters, well. it’s no surprise when i say that i felt an intense amount of joy of seeing east asian cultures so beautifully incorporated and respected in this show (no surprise seeing that this show was literally crafted by japanese anime studios), but like. it really was. a beautiful thing. i cried at least once per episode, either because i was so in awe of the animation and the themes or because i was just in awe that this thing exists. 
i think my favorite episode had to be the village bride--there was something so incredibly powerful about seeing someone who looked a bit like me say i am a jedi. what an iconic line. what an iconic story about a sad traumatized gal deciding to step up and fight, actually. peak star wars. 
but besides all that...i really did feel like...this show captured the beauty and essence of what makes star wars actually good. the themes of good versus evil, a lot of stuff between siblings (bro....the twins and lop and ocho FUCKED ME UP), choosing to have brighter and better days ahead (the village bride, the ninth jedi, the duel, tatooine rhapsody)...like, i really loved how each episode really took everything that was good about star wars and just turned it into something even more beautiful. this series will stay with me for a long time, i think--and i am very grateful for the people involved in this project for reminding me why i fell in love with this universe in the first place. :”)
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