#i’m basically friend-less

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.

We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.

@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)

If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.

(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)

We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.

Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.

By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.

But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)

One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)

With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.

To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)

At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.

TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.

I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.

#thisisctrying and taylortruther sorry for tagging you two! #can remove if needed! #but you guys made me think a lot #this was inspired by a conversation i had with a friend the other day #where she relayed an argument she had with her partner #who basically felt slighted that he wasn’t getting acknowledgement for all the housework he does — which is. just. the dishes #and she was like ‘wow congrats you’ve done the dishes — i do every other fucking thing to keep this household afloat in ways you see #and don’t see and i never ask for praise because it’s just stuff that needs to get done because that’s how you support your family’ #and it just reminded me that some partners (and a certain kind of man in particular) just… think their struggles take precedence #when their partners drown in them everyday but keep things afloat out of necessity and are never recognized or supported for it #(my friends have shitty husbands/boyfriends can you tell lol) #long post #again the way i just feel like i know the vibes of ttpd in my bones are 😵‍💫 #i feel like i have a lot more thoughts but I’m trying to be more gracious and less parasocial so #also just want to again defend the introverts of the world by reiterating that being introverted does not mean unsupportive #being a shitty partner does though! #writing letters addressed to the fire #it’s also just like… i feel like if Taylor had had even a modicum of the support in private and even public she needed #she’d probably still be with you know who and wouldn’t have considered leaving let alone doing it #because it would have felt like enough and like it was what was needed for both of them #whereas we’re seeing a completely new side of her open up now because this is the first time she’s ever had that support from a partner #in her adult life at least #and it’s like it’s opening up things she didn’t know she needed or wanted

[designernishiki]

y3 has made me feel many things but one of the things that lingers with me the most about it is how majima takes every possible opportunity and makes every possible gesture to say “please don’t leave me alone again, please take me with you when you leave, I WANT to be right next to you when you need me, I’ll literally do anything for you, just don’t leave me alone again” always indirectly but in strong enough ways that i think it’d be obvious to anyone paying attention EXCEPT Kazuma Kiryu, The Densest Man On Earth, who he’s pleading to in the first place. it’s. frustrating to watch. someone needs to grab kiryu by the shoulders and tell him. for the love of god. this man loves you so much and you keep leaving him when all he wants to do is help you and be with you please just take him to okinawa oh my god

#kazumaji #it’s FRUSTRATING #specifically thinking about the scene in the bar after the pink truck debacle #where majima finally says like. if you’re going to Okinawa to deal with this whole assassination thing or whatever comes up I’m coming #with you. you don’t have a ton of support down there and me and you together are basically unstoppable #pretty much completely outright #and kiryu. the dense stubborn motherfucker he is. is like. i don’t have No One down there I have a few friends (missing the point). I’ll be #fine. I don’t need your help there. you should stay here #I’ll give him some credit because then saying ‘someone has to stay here and keep the Tojo clan from total collapse’ is a good point and it #does mean something that he trusts majima to be that person (especially given I don’t think anyone else on earth would trust him with that) #(despite him being totally capable- you know mad dog persona and all that blah blah blah) #like that’s a good point idk who else would be a good choice to do that considering daigo’s out of commission and who’s even left after that #obviously mine is Sketchy. kashiwagi is (supposedly) dead. everyone else kiryu trusts in the yakuza is dead or injured more or less. #not gonna leave fuckin DATE in charge or something #so. fair enough point. but nonetheless it doesn’t erase the fact that kiryu overlooks what majima means in the grander scheme of things #and still believes first and foremost that he doesn’t need/want his help when he does and he should #he’s just. allergic to making life easier for himself #among other issues #sigh #yakuza 3 #y3 #goro majima #kazuma kiryu #kiryu #majima #rambling

[bimiio]

<3

#y’alllll last night was WILD😭 #ok so literally partied for 8hrs straight #let’s start there #11pm-7am #originally was just goin 2 a queer party but NO ONE showed up so it was rlly lame n no one was dancing #which is wut i went 4 #so me n my friend went 2 dis after hours club #there’s no pics/vids allowed n they don’t sell alcohol #there’s also an entrance fee n they only take cash 4 everything #it’s basically just a club 2 dance at but none of da music has words or anything it’s all just untz untz untz music yknow?? #anyways it was super fun danced a lot n w so many ppl #even tho it was like ALL straight ppl😭 #i was less nervous 2 just dance n rlly get into it cuz none of da straight men there were dancing well anyway so there was no pressure #SO many guys were dancing up on me😭 #n it was fine i danced w them like i literally came 2 dance #but sum of them kept tryna overstep🙄 #lucky 4 me i’m intimidating n men act like dogs when they’re attracted 2 me so it was pretty easy 2 keep em in check #also told ALL of them i’m a lesbian but dat was not a deterrent clearly #i got offered SO MANY drugs 😭 #every single guy i danced with n even guys i didn’t dance with #got offered molly n coke n weed #one guy didn’t even have da weed ON him but i told him i only smoked weed not cigs so he offered 2 literally leave n come back w da weed.. #not even 2 smoke WITH him cuz when he asked if i smoked weed after i said no 2 cigs i was like #‘yeah i do i don’t wanna smoke w u tho’ #same dude bought me da hella overpriced water they had there <3 #$6 for a bottle of water is CRIMINAL #men r so easy tho i just squeezed his arm when i was following him across da dance floor n asked if he worked out #then he was at my beck n call 4 everything #so silly #0ut

[falled-over]

#photos of my guitar my dad posted to his blog years back when he bought it #it’s the most beautiful guitar in the world. it feels warm and alive to play #as you can see in the first two pics it used to have a newer pickup installed on the bottom. luckily he found an era appropriate online #it’s from 82 if you were curious #it says squire on the headstock but it was made on the fender line. they bought squire out and swapped in the name soon after this #but he got it a little cheaper than it was worth at the time because people aren’t as autistic as him and don’t know about production lines #basically it wasn’t brand name #basswood body and dark rosewood on the neck 😋✌️ #it’s actually a replication of a ‘62 model! which was 20 years old at the time. mines now twice that. isn’t that incredible #i actually saw a modern fender replication of this exact model in an op shop yesterday #for more or less exactly how much this was bought for #dad finished his blog post by saying he thinks this is better made than the original. and despite not knowing the og i’m inclined to agree #people in the comments of his post are saying that this era was supposed to be something special. hehe. they’re right #i’ve played many guitars. i own this one because my dad collects them and he let me try them all out #and i have a lot of friends who play guitar and ive hung out with them to do so #and i’ve never felt one like mine before or since. it’s so obviously beautiful #when i picked it out i hadn’t played much but i knew right away how good it was. i prefer strat bodies because i can hug my torso around #them without getting poked like a tele and the necks are thinner than acoustics (small hands. bad) #unless we’re talking parlour #love a wee parlour. pa has a little one he got for 30 bucks that’s one of my favourites of his #he’s insanely good at finding deals #he fixes them all up #anyway. the body feels #how would you even describe it #heavy. and alive. warm and wet and still full of sap #i feel like it’s breathing #it’s sort of the only thing that motivates me to be better. i could cry just thinking about it. i want to be good enough to play it

[sbc-moved]

Mom said she’s bringing pizza home for dinner and I can’t stop laughing cuz it reminded me of this thing I rbed on main earlier 😭

#she works at a pizza place so we get pizza basically every other night #hey real talk can I ramble for a second? #I am very comfortable living like this #I feel like. idk. a lot of people see my life as like????? lazy and less than? #because I’m almost 20 n I still live with my mom but like #she said as long as I work. I can stay. so what’s the big deal? why do you care if I move out or not #idk I’ve been getting some flack from friends about how uneventful and dull my life is. and how I’m too comfortable with my. mediocrity #but I like my job. and I live living with my mom and I’m not really interested in going anywhere else #I am happy living the way I do. what’s the big deal #anyway sorry I just. needed to get that out of my system #no hate to anybody who is fully independent btw you guys are doing great <4 #**<3 #♡.txt

[trashpremiium]

i wish i knew how to keep friends :( making friends is… hard, but doable. if i have a reason to be near someone and they’re amenable to my Autism Beam of infodumping, i can usually make them tolerate being around me for as long as that activity lasts.

but semesters end. mutual interests fade. activities wrap up. and then those people leave. not to say i’m not thankful for however long their friendship lasted, i just wish people were more likely to want to be friends because they liked me, not because i was a body near them to spend time with.

#sometimes they stay. it’s not often but it happens #and then i’m scared for the rest of the friendship that anything could make them leave #thinking of all the friends that just… stopped replying to me the second they weren’t forced to spend time with me #i lost basically every friend i had when school went online in 2020 #with the exception of my dnd party. i’m scared that if we stop playing dnd i’ll lose them too #my call of cthulhu campaign ends… tomorrow. technically #the two other players i met through this campaign #and i really like talking to them. i have. not a ton in common with them #but i’m so scared that once we don’t have the connection of the campaign i’ll lose their friendship #i didn’t keep any friends from my dorm hall this year #i was always on the periphery #the only person i still talk to from any of my classes is my partner #i don’t think she really… gets. how lonely i am #because she has *so* many friends. #and for good reason. they’re a wonderful person that i could talk for days about #and idk what i did to even deserve her friendship much less whatever we got going on now #i just wish i could keep more connections #that i wasn’t always doomed to have to start from scratch every time something ends #but i guess it’s sort of my fault too #im too scared to overstep some unseen boundary that i don’t reach out to make a connection in the first place #anyone who stays has to be pretty stubborn lmao #zephyr talks

[whumpy-wyrms]

Has Aspen watched Wolfwalkers before? I think he would absolutely love that movie :)

YESSSS YES YES ASPEN FUCKING LOVESSSSSS THAT MOVIEEE

AND SO DO I!!!!!!! like i’ve never seen that movie before but i’ve wanted to watch it for a long time and this ask FINALLY made me watch it and oh my god HOLY SHIT IT’S ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES NOW. i literally JUST finished it and i don’t even know what to say besides this

i need everyone to watch this clip in particular because holy shit i cried during it /pos. like i can’t even describe how much i love this movie and how much it means to me just wow WOW it’s absolutely fucking amazing and i definitely recommend it to everyone. the animation is stunning i love the main characters and everything is just so EXPRESSIVE and the COLORS ANR AHHHH THE WOLVESSSS

Aspen loves it. it’s one of his favorite movies now too (maybe his favorite idk i’ll have to think of what other movies he likes) but guys i don’t even know what to sayyyy that movie is sooo good

thank you so much for sending this ask because wow i don’t know what it is with me and wolves now but wolves are COOL and i LOVE this movie i’m so happy i finally watched it!!! :D

#i was screaming at the tv during the super intense parts like wow WOW this movie was amazing #imagining Aspen running through the woods as a wolf being so so so happy #i’m so happy i got the idea to turn him into a werewolf later on in the story so he can finally truly live #like Aspen turning into a werewolf marks the end of Silas feeding on him i think. it’s a brand new beginning. he’s truly alive and free now #and i love that so much #i’m so happy #i’ve gotta write down everything i’ve been coming up with for silas and aspen because it’s a lot and some people might be outta the loop #but basically after a very long time of being Silas’s bloodbag Aspen befriends a werewolf and gets turned #Silas was pissed because werewolf blood is kinda gross and Aspen now smells like wet dog and he’s overall less appealing #and Aspen is over the moon when he gets turned because he’s a wolf therian (otherkin) and he basically just got everything he’s ever wanted #and by then he already got closure for some stuff in his past (relating to how he originally died and one of his friends and ghosts) #so like he’s Happy. he’s so fucking happy. he’s the happiest person you’ve ever met by then #and also that is past the point where Silas eventually warms up to him (because aspen is literally a delight to be around #even to people as cold and heartless as silas) he still kills aspen for fun though. aspen is used to it and honestly doesn’t mind anymore #their dynamic is just sooo fun. #and i love werewolf aspen so much and need to talk about him because he’s all i’ve been thinking about and drawing #like Aspen is a bloodthristy werewolf who doesn’t know anything about his powers and Silas begrudgingly helps him because he’s Involved now #lots more happens in the story after this. it’s gonna take forever to actually get there tho like im a slow writer and haven’t even finishe #the first chapter. but yeah i love werewolf aspen and the werewolf who turned him is very cool too. don’t know anything abt them yet but im #working on it. anyway i love wolfwalkers u all should watch it because it’s amazing #ask #aspen oc #silas oc #brc ask #blood runs cold

[revanchistsuperstar]

Oh lol I just realized something that I just never explicitly mentioned here after taking a hiatus from tumblr and then just coming back like nothing happened:

When I was running this blog back in the day and it was an SPN blog (yeah I know) that slowly shifted into a Star Wars blog, and I was vaguely popular cosplayer, I was pretty well known for the fact that identified as genderqueer and bisexual.

Yeah I went back on my adhd medication and actually was able to focus on the triggers for my dysphoria and what I was feeling for the first time in 10 years and realized I’m a gay man whoops

#concerta done transed my gender #but honestly seriously I came out to my Facebook friends yesterday but it’s something I’ve been feeling for a while now #there’s a whole essay I could write about how I came to this conclusion #that basically I was dating people who were attracted to women and who treated me like a woman sexually #and I get really bad dysphoria from being treated sexually as a woman when I’m presenting more masculine #so basically I’ve been cosplaying as a hot femme AFAB enby for the last 12 years #and not medically transitioning because I was subconsciously afraid of it making me unattractive as a femme #but I have finally come to the conclusion of fuck that I’m a man #who cares if going on t makes me less hot as a girl I’m not a girl I just do drag #starting HRT in December and I’m so excited #I do eventually want top surgery but I honestly don’t have much dysphoria around my chest so I’m fine with waiting till the fat redistributa #redistributes whoops #and I gain some muscle from working out and whatnot #my dysphoria is much more around my hips and my height #also yeah I do still vaguely identify with bisexuality I do sometimes find women hot #but yeah I’ve always been more into men and I’ve always been open about that #ya boy is 29 years old and I’m finally figuring this shit out #lol also love that for the longest time I’m was like ‘I can’t be a man! I’m so feminine! #……..like y’all it never crossed my mind I just might be a fucking faggot 🤣🤣🤣 #but hi yeah I’m Jensen and I’m a fruit. he/they please! #concerta transed my gender #adding that tag for my blog sorting transition tracking purposes

[starboundsingularities]

the reason it takes me so long to make the aa text post posts is because i just don’t look at text posts that often and some of the magic is lost when i go out specifically searching for character-coded posts. that said i NEED to find the “you should be able to disappear for a few months without anyone freaking out” post because i think i lost it and it’s SO edgeworth. but i don’t look at every text post and go how can i make this characters….. i have to find it naturally and go “omg they would totally say this” and even then half of them don’t make it in just due to either self doubt or i can’t fit the sprite onto the post screenshot. like there’s this post about someone pranking their dad by leaving open windex or something next to a cup of orange juice and then acting evasive about it then going april fools as soon as he took the teeniest tiniest sip and then when he’s about to tell her how dangerous that is just drinking the whole glass to reveal it’s just regular orange juice. and to me and i can’t explain it. trucy would do that. but that one will never happen because i can’t fit her sprite onto the screenshot. so anyways yeah it takes months because i don’t see text posts that often

#if i went around trying to make every post fit a character #it would be way less fun as well #like it’s fun because i’m basically talking my habit of seeing a post #and sending it to my friends with the only commentary being a character’s name #and just… expanding it to include you guys #to me this is just me sending you guys a post and going ‘‘trucy wrote this btw’’ #it would be less fun if i pressured myself into it #that said. if you want it to go faster you’re always free to send posts with which characters they remind you of /lh #but i do only post about ones i know #at least if they’re a major part of the post #like you’ve never seen athena in these yet because i haven’t played dual destinies yet

[theb0nesofmymind]

Do you need itto be two dicks, or would dildoes count?

Mmmm dildos would count!!

#I could care less about my partners friends in said fantasies #they are basically human dildos but slightly hotter cuz they desire me #idk I’m weird

[starlooove]

A lot of y’all see Miles as “one of the good ones” and it shows

#wait till he gets a lil ghetto #maybe have him blow up at Gwen next movie and not forgive her quickly #matter of fact let him say he doesn’t care about her dad or smth #the switch up is gonna be crazy #like i couldn’t put my finger on why the racism just…missed miles this movie #like y’all are racist about miles and hobie obviously #but miles as a character isn’t getting the reception he got before #and i had hope that maybe ppl were just less racist #but no a lot of y’all ignore miles and his character #or see him as the nice yet sassy black guy who’s exotic enough to be cool but not so much that it’s unrelatable #the little parts of his culture are excused as quirks to you do you can relate even when it doesn’t apply #like y’all did with Bruno throwing the salt in encanto #but yeah i still think there’s an element I’m missing to it but that’s like. the bare bones so far #I’m basically tryna figure out why y’all are treating miles so differently this movie #like genuinely it feels like every racist thought and trope y’all have been putting on miles #was just. dispersed onto other characters #he’s not aggresive u can call hobie and Miguel aggresive #he’s not a thief u can call miles 42 the thief #he’s not the black best friend u can call Pav the manic pixie dream boy #so when all of that is gone all u see Miles as is something u can project onto #and that’s why y’all ignore miles unless ur talking about him in reference to other characters #it’s getting weird #itsv #atsv #fandom racism #miles morales

[designernishiki]

well. finished yakuza 5.

#not gonna go into all my thoughts right now because it’s A LOT but #the ending was pretty good overall like I got my little complaints here and there but overall I was pretty satisfied #the choice of final boss (for kiryu) was narratively pretty half assed but. I’ll let it slide because that fight was fun #i feel like shinada deserved more closure in the baseball realm of things #and I feel like majima should’ve had at least ONE conversation with katsuya at the end #I would’ve liked to see kiryu reunite with him as well but. you know #majima and saejima’s conclusion was also pretty open ended and not clear but yeah. idk just a lot of threads #that don’t feel like theyre tied yet #but despite how it sounds the story of 5 i overall liked quite a bit #it’s interesting that my friend really doesn’t like that there isn’t a singular Big Bad Villain that’s known from the start more or less #like in most games but I kinda feel the exact opposite in that I like the mystery and finding out who’s pulling the strings and all that #a lot of the characters in this game in general are very strong despite some being totally newly introduced #like I liked katsuya and watase and madarame and I’m forgetting his name but shinada’s loan shark #I liked aizawa alot up until the end where they pulled what they pulled and now I’m conflicted cause that was. weird. but yeah #OH and baba of course #idk alot of supporting characters felt really 3 dimensional to me #shinada’s great and very lovable and I’m very sad he doesn’t come back in 6 or anything m #I liked haruka’s ending generally too because she basically did exactly what I was hoping for #which is realizing her own dream and all that and not just doing the whole idol thing just to live out mirei’s ideal life #haruka finally getting to make her OWN choice that kiryu or mirei or anyone can’t interfere with #that was good that was very good #rambling #y5

[firegiftlouis]

I haven’t been paying attention to DC comics in years but apparently Batman isn’t a bajillionaire anymore? (Bruce Wayne is still rich I think in fairness but he can’t use any of that money for Batman shit anymore so….) And a new Batman ship just dropped? (I say Just dropped but he’s existed since 2020 apparently but again this is all news. To me.) And the ship is giving childhood friends to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers????

Damn maybe I need to start paying attention to Batman again? 👀

#I do remember briefly hearing about the Joker War #but my joker fatigue was so high by then I didn’t fucking care lol #but all of this is basically the aftermath now and I find it very interesting #Batman being ‘broke’ now is a pretty interesting idea. honestly I really like it #his ridiculous wealth has annoyed me for a few years now since it started to feel like the militarization of the police force #and less as an explanation for why Batman can exist (as it should be) #so who knows I might try to check out a decent starting place for this story? we’ll see lol #also that ghostbat ship looks fun lol #was always more of a superbat person myself but again #I can’t deny my love of childhood friends to lovers to enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers 💕 #sorry I’m sure most of y’all don’t care about this 😂

[pinkkittysaw]

PROMPTIS IS SO BOYFRIEND CODED!!!!! 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

#angel’s altar 💒 #ffxv.posting #square enix in the studio deciding to make two characters that are so bisexual #just got the motel scene and 🥺 #noct really is kinda closed off n emotionally stunted 😭 but the way he’s able to show that vulnerability to his friends when they need it #HEEEEEEEEEEEE #like yes noct can be a lil brat who won’t eat vegetables #but he’s also incredibly kind #telling prompto to “think what he will. i think you’re good enough for me” #that it didn’t matter what he looked like in elementary school. he would’ve been friends with him regardless #that even if prompto isn’t royalty he isn’t any less deserving #THIS ALL SOUNDS LIKE BASIC BITCH STUFF BUT I PROMISE THE MOMENT IN THE GAME IS MORE HEARTFELT #also in episode prompto when noct is like “i’m gonna change the world and make it a better place. you with me?” #and prommy is like “ever at your side” #“I TOLD MYSELF I COULDN’T DIE. NOT UNTIL I COULD SEE YOU” #HELPPPPPPPPPPP #“every moment i’m desperate to earn my place. to prove that i’m good enough” #“think what you will. i think you’re good enough for me” #also their banter when in battle 😭 #“so this is how it feels to be rescued by a prince” #“go back to sleeping. beauty” #ANYWAY! i’m done

[embraceyourdestiny]

Bro. I’m such a boy. Strong gender realizations and feelings right now I’m a fucking guy I cut my hair and I’m like holy shit that’s ME gender affirmation on 9000 RN

#og #I’ve never ever shown my face on tumblr should I try >.< #I only like Twitter bc there’s more of a sense of privacy however on tumblr I feel like there’s more of a sense of respect so it’s less #scary than what someone on Twitter could do but I’m still nervous >.< #sometimes I’m very uwu on tonble what the hell j wonder what the ppl who read my posts and esp my notes tbink from the post tone whiplash #sometimes. I really develop an inner voice for all my social media friends so mine must be CRAZY for ppl who follow my original posts very #closely hi y’all I love y’all tell me if u do that cuz I love u I think it’s cute when you seek out a social media friends daily posts i #should do that again it’s fun #I basically stopped using social media as ‘social’ and purely for media so I should get back into it #not too invested tho no repeats XD #who noticed me suddenly using XD one time lolol that’s from my friend lily I love talking w her she’s fun #chemicallover #remember checking your own tag on tumblr back in the day and seeing the posts ppl made for or of you if your blog was semi popular #that was fun I shojod do that for my oomfs #gender affirmation #gender euphoria #hee glad to use that one~ <3 #transgender #transgender joy #<3

[jeezypetes]

Ahhhh the job I thought i didn’t get bc they never got back to me after my interview (which I thought went really well) just reached out to me bc apparently the person they tried to hire backed out.,.. and now its gonna be like another month of wondering if I’m gonna have to decide if I want to move to another state where I don’t know anyone. And i was kind of relieved when i never heard back bc I’m really happy here with my family and gf and friends but the fact is my job here is a contract with very slim hopes of developing into a real job with benefits and i live with my parents bc i love them and our house and our town but i know i have to seriously consider this opportunity bc it would be a good career move and i want to live a rich and interesting life. But I don’t want to talk about it with anyone irl because my dad has covid which has been my number 1 fear since the start of the pandemic (he’s 71 and immunocompromised but he’s doing well and not needed the hospital) and I just want to be able to only worry about that I can’t even talk about the job thing which i drove myself and everyone around me crazy with already back in October. Which is why I’m just posting it vjfdhk I’m being tormented by forces beyond my control i feel like this is the sort of thing it would be really helpful to believe in God about

#like people who say He has a plan which i guess is comforting but his plans are so inscrutable they may as well be random. but some people #think he wants the best for us??? which seems so unlikely to me I can’t even try to believe it #anyways i think my dad willbe fine but I’m worried about long term health issues which would make it really really hard to move away bc my #mom is already basically disabled. and i want the house I want it so bad but I can’t afford to buy it from them bc our neighborhood has #gotten sooo much more expensive then it was when they moved here in the 80s and i know they’re planning on selling it to fund their #retirement. but i love it here so much I want to live here forever and die here but its not realistic and maybe it would be easier if i #moved away and put down roots somewhere else and then it will be less painful when they sell the house and less painful when they die #i just want things ro stay likethis forever I’ve #spent so much time these past few years walking around this neighborhood its like the veins in my arms i can live other places i have for #years but they never get this deep im so scared for the futuy #future but there’s absolutely nothing i can do to stop it. except kill myself i guess but it’s #not nearly at that point yet ckgdf it would make a lot of people very upset. it is sort of comforting to remember though i have that option. #god i hope they don’t offer me the job I’m a wreck just thinking about it #i really haven’t made any special efforts to reach out to them or anything. obv I wasn’t their first choice i have no idea if I’m their #second. i think they really liked me but I’m guessing im younger and less experienced than other candidates #hi if ur reading this btw its me a stranger on the internet and you know something my closest friends and family don’t know. congrats #I’ll talk to someone in a few days when my dad is feeling better. really hope my mom doesn’t get sick too she’s been coughing a bit but #testing negative. idc if i get covid i actually hope i get it bc that will prove I didn’t give it to my dad asymptotically #that’s not a secret i toldmy mom she was like jesus Christ don’t think like that