#i’m drunk...

[dogrotpdf]

that one nat geo documentary about the lioness who lost her cub and then, thru her grief, adopted a gazelle but she didn’t know how to care for them and she kept trying to feed them meat. there’s something there but i can’t reach it.

#I’m drunk ignore me #a mothers love not being enough etc etc

[pangur-and-grim]

I fell on a flight of stairs, and some 5’1 woman helped me even though I’m 6’1. it was a spiritual experience. also I am very injured

#got too drunk in a bar oops #now I’m in a wheelchair waiting for emergency treatment

[notherpuppet]

Some irl moments repped by the hazbin cast

#nothing like drunk and messy doodles #pls drink responsibly #especially this weekend since I can’t #have fun in my name #in the doctor bit I was Angel #in the bday party bit I was alastor and it was my roomie’s (Toby) bday #in the bagel incident I was tragically Lucifer and I’m still not over it because it was 2am and Ralph’s was closed and I couldn’t buy lox #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #shitpost #my doods #cw: alcohol #tw: alcohol

[batman-soup]

what if in his early robin days when Alfred insisted he come up to the manor Tim got lost exploring and wandered into the library. what if while Tim was just browsing he turns the corner and runs into bruce towering over him. what if bruce absolutely lost it at Tim and told him to get out and stay OUT of the library (the library was Jason’s favorite room). what if even after jason comes back tim avoids the library like a plague. what if jason found out bruce basically banned Tim from reading(drama queen) and gets PISSED. What if he tore into bruce about it who didn’t even remember the whole encounter until now. what if what if what if

#can u tell I’m wine drunk #tim drake #bruce wayne #batdad #batfamily #tim drake angst #Jason Todd is a reader #Jason Todd is a good older brother #and he is PISSED #anyways #tehehe

[houseswife]

#I’m drunk right now and couldn’t possibly articulate how this makes me feel #just. the fact that they’re so codependent that you can see it from mars #+ adding the fact that taub turned in his letter of resignation to foreman in this same episode because he was sure that house would #at the very least ‘implode’ (or straight up meet his demise) after losing wilson… #he’s so real for that #I’m UNWELL #house md #greg house #gregory house #hilson #james wilson #house/wilson #hatecrimes md #chris taub

[kait-bait8]

I will never stop thinking about the fact that the Hunger Games was canonically a drunk hypothetical. It wasn’t some great government scheme.

So many bad dystopian novels that have some crazy world building premise make it seem like some great creation from powerful minds. Some great construction. Think of City of Ember with its box or Divergent with its weird scientists(??) or The Selection with its bachelor premise, they are always “grandly designed.” Even in Catching Fire with the Quarter Quells the Games give off an air of grand planning.

But the hunger games were a HYPOTHETICAL. A crazy, extreme, what if. They were never supposed to exist. They were never supposed to be real.

Who wouldn’t drink themselves to death knowing they thought of the idea in the first place?

#it’s just SO good in ways I can’t articulate #I’m tired and words are hard #BUT IT WAS A DUMB DRUNK CONVERSATION #probably just angry ranting #but then real children killed and were killed by other real children #ugh it’s too much #the hunger games #thg #tbosas

[nothingtoseeherebyeexx]

james potter’s OG Hoes™️ (some of them ain’t loyal)

close ups and the sketch bc i like it a lot:

#peter was 100% drunk #he’s the type of guy that becomes another person when alcohol gets in his system #drunk peter is like sober sirius on a good day (chaos-wise) #remus was watching them like #look at these idiots…i love them #twin bitches twin bitches twin bitches hopping off a jet skiiiii #istg if the quality is shit i’m hitting tumblr w a stick #marauders era #marauders #james potter #james fleamont potter #sirius black #sirius orion black #peter pettigrew #prongs #padfoot #wormtail #fanart

[its-shells]

“So,” Grian says, “this is awkward.”

Scar says nothing. Scar had said nothing for quite a while, honestly, sitting cross-legged in the void and playing with the hem of his cloak. Or with the flower stems woven through the hem of his cloak, as it were. Lilacs and poppies. Grian had thought it painfully ironic the first time he saw them. Scar hadn’t. Not until now.

“So,” Grian says, again, “I can explain? I think?”

He can hear stifled giggles behind him, Scott and Pearl discussing the last moments of the fight. He feels Martyn’s heated glare between his shoulder blades too, knows that he’ll be getting an earful about taking his final life whenever the fourth winner can get his hands on him, but at least Martyn’s been kind enough to leave him at the mercy of the fifth for now. Or not kind enough, as it were. Whether or not Scar has any mercy for him is an open question.

“Explain what,” Scar says. It’s not a question, which is just as well, since Grian doesn’t really have an answer.

Can he explain?

“Well,” he says, “there’s these death games.”

The death games he technically started, and then technically couldn’t stop. The death games that weren’t meant to be blood sacrifices, but probably count as happening on somebody’s altar. The death games that no one ever wins, but technically–

“Technically, the people who win them get to keep their memories.” He scrunches up his nose. “Or, uh, recover their memories of the previous ones, I suppose. Which is what’s happening to you. And Martyn, and Pearl, and Scott, and I was the first, so–”

“One heck of a headache, right?” Pearl yells behind them. “Was even for me, and you’ve got four whole timelines to deal with!” She flops backwards onto the floor, which is the void, pressing the back of the palm to her forehead theatrically even as she peers up at Scar through parted fingers. Scott rolls his eyes and grabs her hand.

“Give them a moment, Pearl,” Grian hears him whisper. “I know you weren’t there for Third Life, but I’ve explained it to you a dozen times, so–“

“So,” Scar says. “Third Life was real.”

It’s a strange way of putting it for someone who hadn’t remembered it at all until now.

“That’s a strange way of putting it for someone who hadn’t remembered it at all until now,” Grian says, because he’s always loose-tongued after dying. Scar stares at him, unblinking.

“That’s a strange way of thinking for someone who declared the first ever game a double victory,” he says. His head is tilted to the side.

Grian stares back.

“That didn’t count.”

“It didn’t not.”

“You didn’t remember until now.”

“I didn’t not.”

“That makes no sense.”

“Doesn’t it?” Scar shrugs. He plucks a flower from between the dark threads. It’s a poppy. “No less than the rest of it. No less sense than me waking up with sand between my toes, or burns on my arms, or bamboo in my pockets. No less than the dreams. Those didn’t make sense either.”

“It’s not like you ever asked me to explain.”

“Would you have?”

“Not the point.”

“Isn’t it?”

Pearl is still giggling. Martyn is still staring. Scott is quiet.

“Maybe it is,” Grian admits, quietly. It’s not an apology. It never will be.

Nor is it forgiveness, when Scar leans forward to tuck the poppy behind his ear. Nor will it ever be.

Sure feels like it sometimes though.

#OMG IM FINALLY SHOWING UP IN THE TAGS SO YOU GET THIS #is this good? idk i’m too drunk to tell. but i sure am obsessed about secret life ending. #secret life smp #secret life #secret life spoilers #grian #goodtimeswithscar #gtws #scarian #desert duo #desertduo #slsmp #slsmp spoilers #shells writes

[ao3-crack]

(x)

#archive of our own #ao3 quotes #ao3 stuff #archive of our own quotes #fanfic #fanfic quotes #funny #ao3 #ao3 tags #i wrote it drunk after having real life gay sex #so everyone cheer for me #i think this is the funniest shit ive ever read bro #I’m still laughing as I post this #bro im lightheaded #from laughing so fucking much

[martyfive]

don’t talk to me or my puppet son ever again

#lies of p #lies of p fanart #sketch #art #i’m drunk and have no regrets #i’m so bad at these games but i’m trying sooo hard #will probably finish it in a couple years or something

[carissime]

Literally no thoughts just Gojo after your wedding carrying you over the threshold of your hotel room. You’re not leaving for your honeymoon until the morning but he nearly trips on the doorframe in his haste.

“You really don’t need to carry me—”

“But it’s tradition, we need to consummate the marriage!” he insists. Within seconds his lips are against yours and he’s fumbling with the light switch, and you finally swat his hand away and just beg him to take you to the bed.

He works the zipper of your dress down, part of him sad that he’s not going to see you in this gorgeous gown again, but then it reveals your white lace lingerie and the groan he lets out is broken and guttural and desperate.

This is far from the first time he’s seen you like this, but there’s something about this moment here and now that makes it so much more intense, so much more intimate and he just never wants to let you go.

“Satoru,” you whisper, and his breath hitches.

He leans down to capture your lips in a kiss. “Shh, I know. Just lemme take care of you, like I promised.”

And when he sees the gold band on his fourth finger pressing into the skin of your hips as he sheaths himself inside of you, he nearly loses himself, sending up a prayer to whatever gods are listening that he can keep his promise to keep you safe and happy forever.

#I’m so drunk rn I’m sorry if this is incoherent #I just came home from a wedding and am feeling so sappy #also I have to be up tomorrow at 6am for work #can’t wait to be hungover 🫶🏼 #anyway marrying Gojo would be amazing #I love him and I just wanna kiss him and hold him and let him know how special he is #oh god I’m gonna be so embarrassed and might delete this when I wake up #so revel in it now I guess? #idk it’s probably not good lol #gojo x reader #Gojo Satoru x reader #gojo x reader fluff #Gojo x reader smut #Gojo Satoru x reader smut #jjk smut #gojo smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen #Gojo Satoru #jujutsu kaisen x reader

[milf0bsessi0n]

can we talk about clingy possessive doms 🥺 them needing to hear your voice, calling you whenever or messaging you throughout the day, telling you about every minute about their day bc they want you to know, how much they need to touch you, needing to kiss you everywhere, grabbing your face to kiss you or just kissing you everywhere; neck, chest, forehead, temple; nose, cheeks, lips. Holding you close in their arms and/or lap; needing to hear your voice. needing you there to do whatever they want to your body, Helping you with whatever they think you need help with bc you’re either too little or they just want to do it as their love language to take care of you. Making sure you know you are theirs, marking you all over your body and especially the areas they know will be shown to the wold, but just marking you as their could be enough for them. kissing you or touching you or holding you in a possessive way to let you or anyone know that you are theirs!!! and then being protective and caring .. ugh, i’m weak to my knees. them making sure you got home safe, or are are in general. making sure you have eaten or drink your water. taking care of you!!! helping you dress or helping you get ready, pick an outfit; a hairstyle, etc. you just being in their head 24/7, obsessed with you and only you. and vice versa. fuck i need, so bad. clingy doms are the fucking cutest and deserve the world. i would get on my knees in less am a fucking second for them.

#i’m drunk so if it doesn’t make sense #blame it on drunk same #lesbian #wlw post #sapphic #wlw #lesbian nsft #sapphic nsft #wlw ns/fw #wlw nsft #nsft wlw #lesbian ns/fw #men and minors dni #𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑜?: #wlw smut #md/lg #md/lg little #md/lg mommy #wlw mommy #queer nsft #lesbian blog #nsft lesbian #𝑑𝑖𝑎𝑟𝑦 𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑦 ✎ᝰ

[goodomens-girlie]

best duo that never was:

#good omens #good omens s2 #good omens show #crowley #good omens fandom #aziraphale #neil gaiman #crowley x arizaphale #aziraphale x crowley #good omens edit #i’m gonna cry #crowley shut up #crowley cosplay #drunk crowley #good omens crowley #crowleu #crowley x aziraphale #crowley good omens #aziraphale and crowley #six of crows #crowly x aziraphale #crowly good omens #crowley fashion #good omens bts #david tennant imagine #good omens season 2 spoilers #good omens season 3 baby #good omens s2 finale #good omens s2 ep6 #good omens s2 ep5

[s0ft-karina]

🦋🦋🦋

#me #gemini #princess #reblog #<333 #sorry i’m drunk HAHA

[dumbnotstupidfuck]

angel going ‘hey babe, watch this’ and doing a death drop and husk spends at least five seconds thinking angel just snapped his leg and died right in front of him

#maybe husk is super drunk and more easily tricked #I’m not kidding I laughed for a solid minute thinking of this I can’t breathe #huskerdust #husk #angel dust #casinohearts #hazbin hotel

[romansmartini]

the aziraphale and crowley should have gay sex fandom is dying. share like and reblog if you think aziraphale and crowley should have gay sex

#good omens #not even true. just drunk rn and i’m thinking about them 😭