#i’m just so frustrated
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Categorically, I’m one of the lucky ones. Both my parents are employed, and I have an employment opportunity coming up quite soon. We own our house, I’ve never had to go hungry, and we always have heat, electricity, and Wi-Fi.
and yet. AND YET.
We are barely above the poverty line. Some years I had to go without school lunches because we couldn’t afford the fees. We save money wherever and whenever we can. Going out to eat at a burger joint is a special treat for special occasions because we can’t afford it often. Some of my favorite foods and snacks- pomegranates, veggie straws, chips, hell, even lemonade -are luxuries because we just don’t have the money to spare for it. The attitude has rubbed off on me so much that I go out of my way to avoid spending money and I feel guilty when others spend money on me, even for things like gifts or fucking therapy.
If any of our phones were to break, it would probably ruin us. If any of our cars broke down it would be even worse. One of the reasons I got into achievement hunting and building and exploring in video games is because buying new games is almost always a luxury we can’t afford. I use achievement hunting and making complex builds and finding all the Easter eggs as a way to squeeze out every last bit of enjoyment I can from a game so I can last until we can afford to get new ones. All of our clothes are thrifted or second hand. Same for most of our furniture. We stay in our house all day not only because we don’t like going out often and there isn’t a lot to do, but because WE CANT AFFORD TO DO FUN THINGS MORE THAN A FEW TIMES A YEAR.
I worry constantly about how my basic needs affect my family’s wealth. And we’re the lucky ones, because I’ve never had to worry about being homeless. I don’t consider myself very lucky, actually. My family worries constantly about money. They hate their jobs. They can’t afford to get new jobs because going without a paycheck is too risky. And how would they get new jobs? Neither of them went to college, and we don’t have the money for any of us to go. I’m basically unemployable in my current mental state, and that’s not liable to change. We’re lucky. Most of my friends have it way worse than I do. And yet I don’t feel very fucking lucky.
Everyone talks about poverty in the context of not being able to eat or receive reliable healthcare. Obviously those are huge fucking issues that need to be immediately addressed, and I don’t mean to minimize them. But I hardly see anyone talking about the kind of poverty that gives you just enough to get by a little comfortably- but no more than that. You have the money for your home, your food, your car. But you don’t have money for games. You don’t have money to go out and eat something nice. You don’t have money to buy toys for your kids. You don’t have money to see a movie, or buy that new phone that would be such an improvement over the secondhand one you have now. You don’t have money for anything that would put you at ease. And yet, you’re made to feel lucky, that you should be grateful. You’re not poor, poor people can’t put food on the table. Stop complaining. Be grateful. You could have it so much worse.
No one even addresses that yes it could be worse. But it sure as hell could be a lot fucking better, too. And that kills me.
#Poverty#Lower class#Classism#minimum wage#Vent#anarchism#anti capitalism#Eat the rich#I’m just so frustrated#I just want to have something nice every once in a while#Luxury#Middle class#Lower middle class#Money#Struggles#financial struggles#Homelessness#Poor#Class struggle#class war#I want to kill every Billionaire in the world. I want to make them suffer.#I want to tear their eyes out and make them eat them. I want to make them suffer like I have#I wanna rip their throats out with my teeth and burn them alive.#wealth redistribution
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#personal#today was a good one#but after all of the celebrating and everything i feel like now i have all these feelings crashing back down on me#i need to find a job#i was discharged from my therapy and now i’m back on a waiting list for months#my hearing has been declining#my OCD has been so bad lately#endo flare up#anaemic because of excessive endo bleeding#i just feel like today has been so good but i can’t just accept that my brain just needs to focus on all of the negatives#i’m just so frustrated#and so anxious
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Anyway it’s pride month now and im just so sad that my family will simply refuse to engage in my being queer.
It just hurts! I wish they just hated me outright!
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i don’t know how many of you have ever stood in the batter’s box before, but being in there when the umpire is calling things so erratically makes it so difficult to feel like you’re in control at all. a lot of the times i’m watching ball games and there’s these guys swinging at a ball way in the dirt or way in the other box, and the thought is just “why the hell would he swing at that?” but within that at bat, and with what you’ve seen happen before you step up, it’s so hard to know what you shouldn’t be swinging at. i know that the true strike zone and the umpire’s established/estimated zone will almost never line up. it’s near impossible for that to happen. you’ll make a mistake and that’s fine. but mistakes aren’t what make at bats so difficult. the inconsistency is what does that. an estimated zone is fine. an established zone is fine. all of that is fine and is something that you adjust to in-game, as a hitter. it’s when there is nothing - no consistency between at bats, between teams, between innings - that it feels impossible. you can take your pitches when you know they’re out of the zone and risk a called strike. you can swing at everything even if you know it’s out of the zone because you’re worried about the call, and end up swinging out. it’s just frustrating to watch because these guys up to bat know what they’re doing, they’re just being made to seem like they don’t. it’s frustrating. it’s such a fixable issue in baseball but it won’t get done. makes it hard to watch. makes it harder to play.
#mlb#umpire rant idk#toronto blue jays#i’m just so frustrated#and i’m sure these guys are too#ridiculous#major league baseball#watching this game is just insane because what is he doing#and then you add it to every other game these past couple weeks and it’s the same thing#do your job or get out of the way for someone who can#cease is running through these guys because there’s no establishing the zone#they’re swinging and they’re not swinging and it’s out both ways
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I’m so so tired of this sciatica pain. I might have to use more sick days this week. Or maybe they’ll let me work from home for the rest of the week.
They let me know how missed I am and how busy it is. But I just feel so guilty using my sick days. And it just makes me paranoid they might get tired of it and not want me to come back.
I just find it really hard to prioritize what I need and I feel so guilty about not being helpful. At work and home.
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I’ll add it in my pinned post when I’m back from vacation, but tbh I never thought it should be said aloud, just please please please don’t tag my posts and commission I ordered with your personal ship tag.
I do appreciate reblogs and tags, I do appreciate the fact you like some of my ideas this much and have no problems if they suit your ship as well, but I’m creating all of my pics having one specific version of V in mind with all her quirks and personal shit, and it is personal shit, ugh, I even don’t know how to explain it, even if you don’t see her in the frame it is about her, I don’t make default!V or insert your V content.
So please, just don’t do it.
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Mis, my son is maybe alive. but also, what if the heart doesn't work and we are back to square one and deku has to intervene with the 2nds quirk. But also, my son is maybe alive 🥂🥂
I made a shit post about this, but yes I think this is what’s going to happen. Otherwise Bakugo died just to kill a minor character, which is very weird.
But yes, the boy is coming back!!! Hori would never be dumb enough to keep him dead!
#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#bnha 364#mutual destruction#sorry I’m grumpy tonight#I’m just so frustrated#Bakugo’s coming back!
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this is a vent you can scroll
i just don’t understand why I’m not better. I go to therapy, I’m medicated, and I don’t fucking isolate and I keep my room clean. I’m doing everything right so why am I still so unbearably sad. i took off a whole semester to figure this out and fix myself and be better but I just stayed the exact same, maybe worse. I’ve lost more than I’ve gained and maybe I’m just seeing the negatives but I just feel like shit and I just want to be happy. I want to hang out with my friends and not want to burst into tears bc of how empty I still feel. I want to feel fulfilled from the things I do in life and yet I just do things like I’m a sim doing tasks just waiting until I can go back to bed. I don’t even want to eat anything. I just want somebody to reach into my brain and rearrange everything so I don’t feel like a hot dumpster fire every second I’m awake
okay babes vent is over
#I’ll probably delete this when I wake up#i’m just so frustrated#and tired of this#deep down I know why but I refuse to admit it’s still affecting me
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Slowly realizing I’m not gonna be prepared after my orientation because people are obsessed with wasting time here. It’s gonna be sink or swim
#they keep sending me off to do things that have nothing to do with my job#today I have to go to an all day class and I don’t know what it’s about#Thursday I have a class#I’m missing rounds which are very important#I’m just so frustrated#I still don’t fully understand how to order things or do patient referrals#idk man#I dunno what to think
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I feel like i’m stuck. I have been for years. I feel incapable of self improvement. I just make the same mistakes over and over and over again. I don’t know how to change. I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to fix myself.
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Swiftie Fact of the Day!
This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things was actually written about ticketmaster
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“Blue is a good color on you, my lady,” Jaime observed. “It goes well with your eyes.” She does have astonishing eyes.
#brienne of tarth#asoiaf#valyrianscrolls#my art#this has been in my sketches since early dec I’m glad to have finally finished it <3#sometimes I get frustrated by the inconsistencies in clothing I draw but then I just go look at some of the official art#and go well it’s not so bad after all
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I wanna post a writing snippet I wrote but I might get paranoid and wanna delete it um should I post it on an alt?
#having horrible terrible paranoia actually sucks when you wanna share your work with ppl and make friends in fandom#I just idk what to do about it anymore sighhhh#I think honestly creating a new acc that I tell no one about would solve all my problems but like I’m incapable of that#I want my friends to see what I create…#even if it stresses me out beyond words#I’m just so frustrated
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#tried to digitize and color a sketch of Ocean and it’s going so badly#I’m so frustrated#the sketch literally looks fine but as soon as I try to ink it it looks awful#not even trying to make it a likeness at this point but I really want to#I’m just so frustrated#was gonna try and pump it out for Sunday but it’s gonna be another weeks long thing Huh#Glindy’s Posts#tonight was Not Good™️#been having just major anxiety for like 6 hours since I got home#cried three times during that#hurt my hand#and I have nothing to show for it
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I fucking hate working at this job. It’s rlly starting to become unbearable.
#too many unreliable people at work#don’t say you’ll do something then back out of it#I swear there’s always something#I have so much pent up rage building up due to work#i’m just so frustrated#at everyone at my job
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how are working adults supposed to get treatment?
they want me to go in Mon-Fri 8am-230pm for the partial hospitalization treatment program.
meaning i’ll have to change my schedule from 930-1800 to 1500-2300 at least. (more likely 1530-0000)
so basically i’m supposed to work the night shift while also being in therapy every morning. how am i supposed to handle that physically?? i need sleep to function yk bc i’m a person.
and the only other option is cut work hours and not be able to afford bills??? this is so bogus how are you advertised as an adult treatment center but only offer morning programs???
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