#i’m tired and really truly honestly i have not been paying attention to anything outside the actual episodes

[tar-mairons]

anyway what if will orym’s will was the actual target of the grey assassins and it was just assumed the target was keyleth bc she’s ~more important~ anyway anyway I’m just throwing spaghetti at the wall bc of big moon little moon and the fact that it STILL makes no sense that keyleth was targeted

#i’m tired and really truly honestly i have not been paying attention to anything outside the actual episodes #and even those.. just barely #cr #critical role spoilers #kind of

[seijorhi]

Bully ~ Part II

Oikawa Tooru x female reader (+ Iwaizumi Hajime)

TW dub/non-con, bullying, slight degradation, voyeurism, filming, implied abuse, one mention of slapping, nsfw

Part I

‘Honey, it’s your choice. Whatever you decide to do, we’ll respect.’

The final whistle sounds, the team gathering up in a huddle and with a sigh you dutifully close your books and begin to pack them away into your bag. They still have to pull down all the nets and tidy up, but that never takes too long and the sooner you’re all out of here the better.

The sooner you can get away from them, the better.

It’s become routine at this point for you to slowly make your way down to the edge of the court while they duck into the locker room; the other third years acknowledging you with friendly enough smiles, the underclassmen no longer staring at you in vague confusion. 

But at this point you’re truly beyond caring what any of them think of your relationship with their Captain. 

Except instead of filing out like the rest of his teammates, Oikawa’s still on the far side of the court, trapped in a conversation with Coach Irihata and Mizoguchi. For a split second, his attention shifts towards you, lingering awkwardly by the big double doors, and you think you catch a flicker of irritation in his eyes – which is unusual, considering that he’s made this game his life and he has nothing but the greatest respect for both of the men before him. 

But it doesn’t really matter, you suppose. You’ll wait for him, whether it’s five minutes or fifty and he’ll either tell you what’s pissing him off, or he won’t and he’ll end up using you to work out his frustrations anyway.

With your parents away for the rest of the week and your house otherwise empty, you can only pray to any god that’ll listen that he won’t try and spend the night. Not that there’s much you can do to stop him, but a girl can dream, right?

The others are heading off, Makki laughing off some biting comment from Kyoutani, but you pay them no mind. Despite being the people you now spend the majority of your time with, they’re not your friends. 

You resign yourself to trudging back up into the stands to wait for Oikawa to finish up when a hand gently wraps around your arm, spinning you around. You start, every muscle in your body tensing on instinct, but as you come face to face with familiar olive eyes you relax – it’s only Iwa.

He regards you silently for a moment, an unreadable expression on his face before he glances over your shoulder to where Oikawa’s still talking with the coaches. 

“C’mon, they’ll be a while, I think. Let me walk you home.”

His place is almost a fifteen minute walk from yours, but you don’t bother trying to bring that up. Instead, you just shrug, shifting the strap of the bag slung over your shoulder, “It’s fine. I don’t need an escort, you know, it’s not that late.”

Maybe it’d be nice for once, walking home without Oikawa’s looming presence over your shoulder. You’re almost positive that he’ll still come by afterwards, especially because he knows as well as you do that there’s nobody to interrupt tonight, but you’ll take the tiny wins when you can.

Besides, you only have to stick it out a little while longer. 

Still holding onto your arm, Iwa’s eyebrows draw together into a slight frown and he bites back a sigh, “Shittykawa’ll throw a hissy-fit if I let you walk home alone tonight. C’mon.”

He’s not asking, you realise belatedly as he firmly but gently starts to lead you out of the gym, not sparing his best friend another glance. And you could probably dig your heels in and kick up a fuss and he’d probably let you go – at least, you think he would. He would, right? He’d listen if you asked him to stop – but what’s the point?

Nobody here actually cares what you want anymore.

Iwa’s different, you suppose. You don’t really know why. He’s just as complicit as the others, maybe even more so – he at least knows what’s going on, even if he refuses to acknowledge it or do anything about it… but that’s not entirely true, is it?

He’s the one to step in when Oikawa starts to take things too far in public. He’s the one to scare off your would be bullies, snarling and glaring at them from his place at your side. Iwa’s the reason you haven’t lost it completely, the one keeping your head above water. He’s a friend you suppose, or at least the closest thing Oikawa’ll let you have anymore.

He’s certainly the only one Tooru trusts with you whenever he’s not around, hence you haven’t heard any indignant shouts from the gym following in your wake despite the grip he has on you.

And Iwa is nice, in his own way. He cares about you, you think – or he cares enough to pretend for Oikawa’s sake. Either way, at least you know he won’t try to pull you down an alleyway and force you to suck his cock, so compared to your other options, he’s definitely the lesser of two evils. 

It’s quiet as the two of you walk, and you find yourself thankful for it. Oikawa’s always talking, he never shuts up, his incessant chatter shattering every moment of quiet, peaceful solitude you try to steal for yourself. 

And tonight, tonight your head’s already too full to pretend to play along with some semblance of chipper friendliness. 

Maybe that’s why you like Iwaizumi; you don’t have to pretend with him. He knows exactly what Oikawa is, and he’s too intelligent to believe that you’re content spending every waking moment by the setter’s side, much less that you genuinely love him. 

It’s a nice night, at least – there’s barely any clouds in the sky. You can see the stars glittering in the inky, midnight blue, and it’s peaceful, you think, with Iwa strolling quietly along beside you. 

Even when the breeze starts to pick up, the late summer night air nipping at your exposed skin. Your jacket’s folded up and shoved somewhere towards the bottom of your bag, but you honestly can’t be bothered to stop and ferret for it. 

“You’re cold,” Iwa states after a beat. Again, not a question.

Nevertheless, you shake your head. “I’m fine,” you reply, perhaps a little tersely, but he’s already shrugging off his own jacket and draping it over your shoulders. Oikawa would do the same thing, more out of a perverse sense of enjoyment from seeing you wearing his clothes than a genuine sense of concern over your comfort.

Still, you don’t fight Iwa on it, pulling his jacket tighter over your body. It’s warm, his lingering body heat making your own cheeks burn a little, and it smells like him, too. Musky, yes, but there’s something almost comforting about the fresh, woodsy scent.

Silence resumes between the two of you, but you feel the weight of his stare as the two of you wander along the path. Iwaizumi’s always been perceptive, more so than most give him credit for, and it’s only another few minutes before he speaks again.

“You’re quiet tonight.”

You hum noncommittally, staring resolutely at the concrete sidewalk rather than meet his pointed gaze. 

He huffs. “You gonna tell me what’s bothering you or not?” he tries again, the sheer bluntness almost enough to make you flinch.

“And what makes you think there’s anything bothering me?” you reply dully, kicking at the small little pebble on the pathway in front of you.

Iwa stiffens just a fraction, but you feel it – the shift in the air between the two of you. It’s the truth you won’t speak, the one he won’t acknowledge. Of course there’s something bothering you; this whole fucked up situation between the three of you. It’s not normal, it’s not healthy, surely he sees that, how the hell can he–

“Cut the bullshit,” he snaps. “You think I haven’t noticed how you’ve been acting lately? Something’s up, and if you think I’m the only one who’s paying attention…” he trails off, and suddenly his hand’s catching at yours, pulling you to a stop.

And when finally you drag your eyes up to meet his, your heartbeat quickens at the scowl written across his face, plain as day. 

“I’m not talking about… that. Did he–” he hesitates, biting down on his lip and you honestly don’t know whether you want to laugh or cry. “Something’s up.”

You could probably tell him to mind his own business, and part of you almost wants to. He might even listen, though he wouldn’t be happy about it, but the thing is, you’re just so tired. Tired of playing girlfriend for Oikawa, tired of being dragged along against your will, manhandled and fucked at every opportunity, tired of pretending that this is in any way okay, and you just want to finally give in and admit it out loud.

You want this to be over, and it’s so close you can almost fucking taste it. 

So you breathe deep, forcing yourself to relax. “My mom got a job in Tokyo. My parents… they’re leaving at the end of next week. Moving. It’s why they haven't been around much lately.”

Iwaizumi’s eyebrows furrow into a frown as he takes a second to absorb the information. “And… you? We only have a few months left until we graduate.”

You allow him a wry smile. “I know. They gave me a choice, I’m eighteen, I can stay here in the house by myself, finish up the year and graduate at Aoba Johsai before moving down with them…”

“Or?” he prods.

“Or,” you continue, “or I can go now. There’s some really good schools down there, I could have my pick. It’ll be a struggle, I know, transferring so late in the term, but–”

Iwaizumi scoffs, cutting you off, “But you’re not actually gonna go, right? You can’t just pack up and leave so close to graduation. You’re staying here in Miyagi.” 

He almost sounds angry– the muscle in his jaw’s twitching and as you stare at him you realise that he doesn’t sound angry; he is angry. His whole body’s tensed like he’s preparing for a fight, and it takes you by surprise. 

Sure, he’s pretty much the only person outside of Oikawa that you’d consider yourself to have any kind of relationship with anymore, but you’d never really thought he’d actually–

“Iwa,” you say gently, “I was gonna go to Tokyo after graduation anyway. Sure, it’s not exactly an ideal situation, but…” 

But it’s your chance to get away from all of this, from Oikawa, and you’re gonna take it and run. Whether or not Tokyo University accepts you, whether it means you have to work three times as hard to adjust to a new school’s curriculum just so you won’t completely flunk your final exams. 

It can’t be any worse than this.

He has to understand that. 

And really, what did he think was going to happen after graduation? You know Oikawa’s plans, and you’ll be damned if you let him ruin your life anymore than he already has, dragging you halfway across the world. You belong here, in Japan. Oikawa can go chase his pipe dreams on his own. 

He swallows tightly, and while the pinched scowl on his face doesn’t falter, his grip on your wrist eases just a fraction. “You were really just gonna leave without telling anybody?” he asks, his voice uncharacteristically quiet.

“Who would I tell?”

—

Sure enough, it’s a little after midnight when your bedroom door sweeps open and Oikawa strides in like he owns the place. You watch through half lidded eyes as he starts to shed his clothes, stripping off and tossing them haphazardly onto the floor until he’s just in his boxers. 

He doesn’t say much as he lifts the covers and climbs into bed beside you, merely presses a surprisingly gentle kiss to your cheek, murmuring a quiet, ‘Just sleep, cutie,’ when you try to shift away from him.

He sounds tired, exhausted really, but you don’t care enough to comment, relieved more than anything that tonight he doesn’t seem to have the energy for more. There’d been some part of you that was worried that Iwa might have told him about the walk home – the secrets you’d unthinkingly entrusted to him – but he can’t have. There’s no possible way Oikawa would be so calm right now if he had. 

And Iwa wouldn’t do something like that in the first place. 

It might not have been the most traditional of friendships, and you know he’s still a little pissed off with your decision and the fact you had no intentions of telling him, but Iwa wouldn’t break your trust like that. 

And so with Oikawa’s arms wrapped around your middle, the warmth of his chest pressed up against your back, you allow sleep to claim you once more.

—

You hardly see him the following morning. 

There’s no sign of him when you wake up, though his side of the bed is still warm – you know he likes to run in the mornings; he probably ran home to shower before school. And if you’re grateful to Aoba Johsai for anything, it’s for putting the two of you in separate classes. You’re spared his presence and those of his mooney eyed fangirls, and you can actually focus on learning. Or try to, at least.

Iwa regards you with an unreadable expression when you take your usual seat at the desk next to his, but at least he doesn’t seem as pissed off as he was when he left you last night. You only have a week and a half left until you go, but considering he’s the closest thing you have to a friend anymore, you’re not sure how you would survive if he suddenly decided to give you the cold shoulder.

Still, he is quieter than usual as you both settle into class, and you can’t help your gaze from flickering over to him throughout the lesson, an uncomfortable pit settling into your stomach. Iwa doesn’t so much as look your way, busying himself in copying down the notes the teacher’s scrawling on the board.

You honestly didn’t expect him to be hurt, and as he brushes past you on his way out after the bell rings you begin to doubt whether you should have told him at all. It stings, more than you expect.

Yet the moment you try to follow him, calling out his name, a familiar figure steps in front of you, halting you in your tracks. 

“Hey, cutie,” Oikawa purrs, grinning down at you as he reaches out to tuck a stray lock of hair back behind your ear. “I’ve missed you today. Come on, let’s go somewhere a little quieter.”

His fingers are laced with yours, tugging you along before you can even try to voice a protest. You both know you wouldn’t anyway, not anymore. 

Just like you don’t speak up when instead of dragging you outside to the courtyard, or even to the gym, he chooses an empty classroom, kicking the door shut behind him. 

There’s a question on the tip of your tongue, but you don’t have a chance to voice it as he grabs you by the collar of your shirt and smashes his lips to yours. 

Oikawa usually likes to take his time, to drag out your humiliation and reluctant pleasure as he toys with you, but today he wastes no time in shoving you back up against one of the desk, his fingers already yanking down your necktie and prying your lilac shirt open – buttons scattering as it rips.

“Tooru–” you gasp, panic flaring, but his lips curl into a smirk as he forces you back into another kiss.

“Quiet now, cutie, let me take care of my pretty girl, hm?” he growls between panting breaths. “You don’t want somebody stumbling in and interrupting us, do you?”

And your chest tightens, squeezing around your lungs like a vice, your gaze flickering back to the door – shut but not locked.

“Tooru,” you whisper again in a panic, clutching at the lapels of his blazer as he draws back enough to level a gaze at your chest, bare save for the virginal white lace bra you’d unthinkingly chosen that morning. 

His grin widens, but there’s something cold and utterly unflinching in his eyes as they flicker up to meet yours. “Lean back,” he tells you.

You shake your head, “I d-don’t–”

His hands are on your shoulders, abruptly shoving you backwards. “I said,” he coos as you sprawl back onto the wooden desktop with a startled squeak, “lean back for me.”

It’s been months since you’ve fought him, but as he flips up your skirt, fingers grazing possessively along the cotton of your panties and he sighs contentedly, sheer panic floods your system, overwhelming your better judgement. Before you can stop yourself your knees come up as you desperately scramble to right yourself, to put an end to this–

The slap to your cheek isn’t all that forceful, at least not compared to what you know him to be capable of, but it still takes you by surprise, the sharp, burning sting only registering as the shock of the blow fades.

Oikawa’s no longer grinning, his face twisted into a terrifying glare as wide, teary eyes stare back up at him. “Baby, you’re really testing me right now. You want to act like a disobedient little bitch, kick up a fuss, bring everybody running so they can see what a needy little whore you are, spread out on the table for me?” He snatches at your panties, harshly wrenching them down your now prone legs with one hand, the other reaching for his belt buckle, “You think you have a choice here? You think I give a fuck what you want?”

Your ears are ringing, the sound of your own heartbeat drowning out almost everything else.

It’s not the first time he’s hit you, or even the hardest, but with that one slap all the fight you have left just dissipates. You don’t even flinch when he spits directly onto your pussy, his thumb harshly spreading his saliva over your cunt – you just bite down on your lip to stifle the sob that threatens to burst.

And victory shines bright in his eyes at the sight of it. 

“Good girl, you know who this pretty pussy belongs to, don’t you?” he croons with saccharine sweetness, even leaning over to press a tender, affectionate kiss to your swollen lips. 

And you’d squeeze your eyes shut and try to imagine that you’re somewhere else, anywhere else if you didn’t know how much he hates it when you do. So instead, you lie there pliant and trembling, humiliation burning hot as he spreads your legs, pressing your thighs back towards your chest as he slots himself in between them.

“You look so good like this, you know?” he muses with a soft little chuckle as he leisurely strokes his cock, letting the flushed tip brush teasingly along your folds, nudging at your clit. “Prettiest little thing, and all mine, aren’t you, cutie.”

Tears well and spill soundlessly down your cheek, but your only answering is the hiccuping breath you draw in, your fingers finding purchase on the edges of the desk as he guides it back to your entrance.

It doesn’t matter that you’re not nearly ready for him, that his spit and the pre-cum that’s beading at his slit isn’t going to help ease his passage in the slightest. He’ll fuck you how he wants to – and you’re too broken to try and stop him.

Yet instead of savagely plunging in like you expect him to, Oikawa stills, regarding you with a tilted head and a cruel smirk. 

“Fuck,” he curses quietly, the sound almost reverent as he stares down at you. He shakes his head, another soft laugh bubbling out, “I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of seeing you like this, but if you’re going to be running off on me so soon, maybe I should take a little memento, what do you think cutie?”

Your stomach drops, dread creeping down your spine as Oikawa reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone, opening up the camera and flicking it across to video. 

“I mean if this is going to be our last time together, don’t you think we should make it special?” You jerk, your breath coming out in short, harsh pants but you can’t move, can’t seem to lift a single finger as he leans in closer, bringing his lips to your ear, “That way we both have something to remember this by.”

And as his breath ghosts the tiny hairs on the shell of your ear he laughs again, pressing another quick kiss to your flushed, tear stained cheek. “Aw, don’t cry, cutie. You brought this on yourself.”

You don’t have a moment to prepare yourself, his hand slamming over your lips to muffle your shrieks as he thrusts his hips forward, sheathing himself in your tight little cunt with a choked moan.

“F-fuck, baby,” he grits out, biting down on his own lip as he relishes the vice like grip your pussy has on his throbbing cock, “Smile for the camera.”

Your back arcs up off the table, fingernails digging into the wood as he draws his hips back slowly, letting you feel every inch of his cock as it drags along your walls until it’s only the tip that remains inside of you.

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts – a sharp and throbbing pain that only grows with each passing second. 

There’s something sadistic in his grin as he angles the phone down to where your bodies meet, your lewdly spread thighs, your glistening pussy in perfect view as another glob of saliva joins the first, pooling over your sex, sliding down his cock.

“You have no idea how perfect your pussy feels, baby,” he pants, slowly filling you up once more – your own wails stifled by his hand. “You’re mine, all fucking mine, aren’t you?”

There’s no hiding from the camera as he fucks you, slowly at first, but picking up his pace as the slick starts to build, your warm, velvety walls sucking him in deeper, squelching obscenely with every thrust. And between the sounds of his balls slapping against your ass – skin hitting skin as he fucks you roughly without care – and Tooru’s own satisfied moans, your muffled whimpers and cries go unheard. 

And just when you think your humiliation is complete, he takes his hand from your mouth, his thumb returning to your clit, teasing at the sensitive nub with slow, measured circles that have you keening, shaking beneath him as he stuffs you full. Slowly but surely that searing ache gives way to pleasure, a slight shift of his hips and his cock’s hitting that sweet spot he’s all too familiar with – and another strangled moan slips out.

“You gonna cum for me, pretty girl?”

You shake your head, fingernails digging into the wood, biting down harshly to keep yourself quiet as you feel that familiar heat pooling in your core, wanton pleasure flickering through you with every swipe of his fingers, every harsh thrust.

“No? You sure about that?” he laughs at the desperate whine that slips from your lips, “I wanna hear it, baby. Cum for me.”

But you can’t, you can’t make a sound, the door’s not locked, the door’s not locked and anybody could walk in any second, but you can feel it coming, your legs shaking and toes curling as your control slips–

“Cum,” Oikawa demands, his own voice a husky, shivering growl, and this time you’re helpless but to obey.

Your orgasm crashes into you like a wave, suddenly sweeping your legs out from under you. You arc up off the table once more, white hot pleasure exploding as you shiver and quake, your pussy clamping down on his cock and gushing as he fucks you relentlessly through it, chasing his end while drawing out your own.

And you’re so lost in the bliss, the pleasurable rippling aftershocks short circuiting your system that you don’t even realise that he’s pulled himself out of your cunt, stroking his slicked up cock with harsh pants–

Not until you feel the hot spurts of his cum hitting your stomach, a choked moan resembling your name shattering the fuzzy afterglow, dragging you harshly back down to reality.

There’s a twisted, self satisfied smirk on his face as he watches the cold realisation sink in, your eyes filling with fresh tears as your gaze flickers between him and the phone in his hand, still filming.

“You’re not leaving me,” he says, still a little breathless. “You’re mine. Isn’t that right, Iwa?”

No.

Please god, no.

Blood drains from your face, the pit in your stomach plummeting as his smirk widens and he turns his head to glance over his shoulder. You don’t want to look, can’t bear to, but it’s like trying to rip your eyes away from a car crash; your body moves with a will of its own. Heart pounding, nausea churning in your gut, you follow his gaze to find Iwaizumi by the door; jaw tight, arms folded across his chest, staring impassively back at you.

And that last little piece of you breaks.

#yandere haikyuu #yandere oikawa #yandere oikawa toruu #yandere oikawa x reader #yandere oikawa tooru x reader #tw non con #tw dub con #tw bullying #tw degradation #tw voyeurism #tw non con filming #tw abuse #ok it's 3:30 i need sleep

[astaroth1357]

Hi there, congrats for the 1500 subs. How about the bros reaction to an MC who's an empath?

Brothers with an MC Who is an Empath

This should not have been as hard as it was but maaan, my brain just wasn’t working. Finally got it done though!

Intro:

An Empath is essentially someone who is highly sensitive to outside stimuli like sounds, personalities, energies, emotions, or just hectic/chaotic environments. They tend to absorb the emotions of others into themselves because of this. Though their sensitivity can grant deeper understanding for others, it comes at the price of the Empath’s own emotional and physical health if not given enough time to decompress which can lead to feeling drained, irritable, depressed, or overwhelmed.

Lucifer

Oh boy, if there was ever any demon not in tune to his own emotions…

He started out legitimately not knowing what an "empath" was and frankly he didn't care to know. His main concern was just keeping the MC alive.

Though that didn't seem to be too hard because they apparently get tired quickly… or at least they had to take extended periods away from most of his brothers.

He wasn't sure why, he first assumed it was because they found his brothers annoying but that didn't seem to be the case either...

He'd see them grinning with Mammon after a jackpot, relaxing with Satan in silence, and even crying with Levi over things so niche and pointless he couldn’t imagine that they actually cared...

It wasn’t too long until they set their sights on him. 

They always seemed to know when he was stressed or when he needed to talk to someone. He'd even be embarrassed to admit there were days when he’d just hover somewhat close to them, face more or less slathered with "I really need to talk right now" but too proud to make the first move.

After some time, he decided to look up what an empath was again and it all clicked into place. They probably knew when he was tired because they could just sense it off of him.

And who knows how exhausting that must be for them...

After that little revelation he actually started paying more attention to his own health to keep it from spilling over to them, but he would still go to them to talk from time to time. He honestly never expected a human to become his closest confidant.

Mammon

Mammon has BIG energy. He’s one of those personalities that just brightens a room he walks in but damn… if he’s not a little exhausting to be around sometimes…

Truthfully, he was kind of into their whole “I know how you feel so you don’t have to say it” vibe though it was really confusing to start with...

On the one hand, they never made fun of him for his sensitive side. Not once. And they seemed pick up on the days where he wasn't feeling his best as well, which only made him happy and want spend more time with them.

But on the other hand, he'd be lying if he said that their need to recharge away from him didn't catch him off guard a lot... Hell, for the first few weeks of getting to know the MC he thought they didn't like him at all!

It took the MC sitting him down and explaining to him that they're more sensitive to things like lights, sounds, and emotions for him to kind of get the picture. It wasn’t that they didn’t like him, they just needed to be somewhere calm.

Cue a lot of “Okay human, I’ll be calm. Promise! Ya won’t even now I’m here!” in a well meaning, but pretty loud voice and not getting much better from there, bless his heart...

Even after he eventually gets the picture and stops hanging off of their leg, it does bum him out to be separated for however long it takes for them to get better (at worst, it can be days).

But he really gets excited like a puppy whenever they finally come back again! Big grins and lots of hugs (good luck peeling him off now).

Levi

Levi is... best taken in short bursts.

Though his personality isn’t big like Mammon’s, he does have a lot of lingering negativity around him. Not exactly his fault, being Envy and all, but not great for someone who’s sensitive to emotions.

In truth, Levi genuinely loves being around the MC because they “get” him even if they don’t get what’s happening.

While his brothers may roll their eyes or struggle to understand how he can put so much emotional investment into an anime or a character, the MC would always seem to feel and respect that his emotions were genuine and let him experience them without question.

… But at the same time, that sensitivity meant that they got carried in with him through his every emotion, good, bad, or somewhat erratic depending on the situation… 

Add to that his higher than usual need for validation, investment, and feedback due to his insecurity and unfortunately he’s easily the most emotionally draining person in the House...

It took some time to explain to Levi what an empath was and that their desired space wasn’t because there was something wrong with him or anything, they just needed breaks. Thankfully, being an introvert himself meant that Levi understood this a lot quicker than Mammon.

In truth, being with Levi could be fun and rewarding for both parties. During his high points, his happiness truly does shine like no other, just… don’t overdo it.

Satan

In the beginning, Satan was honestly pretty impressed how quickly the exchange student saw through his fake smiles. They’d know that there was no actual joy behind them and thus avoided him for the most part.

This was before they formed their pact so he was perfectly fine with that. Let them hide, that’s the smart idea.

But after getting to know them and going through the body-switch, he started to see that it was deeper than just some good intuition on their part. Something about them… reflected the people around them...

They appeared to be acutely aware of the emotion in a given person or a given room and reacted like they were soaking in the atmosphere they found themselves in. Taking it into themselves…

It truly confused him.

Satan is the picture of emotional control, it’s been taught to him again and again to always keep a good handle on himself because things go flying when he doesn’t. The idea of being so open to others just didn’t make much sense to him… 

Why would anyone want to live so dependent on the emotions of others? It sounded chaotic just to hear about it...

But after he opened up to them about his own inner doubts he started to think it wasn’t such a bad thing. They appeared to be equipped to help him navigate his own emotions, especially the new ones he didn’t have the best grasp on yet.

He later did his own research into human emotions, discovered empaths, and that put it all into perspective. Like Lucifer, he did his best not to overwhelm them after that but there was little worry about that anyway. Satan is, again, emotional control at its finest.

Asmodeus

Oh, Asmo picked up on their human’s little quirk relatively quickly compared to his brothers. Being emotionally observant is just part of what makes him so good at what he does.

Honestly, he enjoyed just watching them from afar… Watching the way their eyes lit up when talking to a cheerful Simeon or how huffy and frustrated they’d get along with Mammon when things weren’t going his way. It was cute to him, like a child playing “Pretend.”

Eventually, though, he started to notice that it went a lot deeper than mere imitation...

One day, Levi came home distraught about the tragic death of some voice actor he fancied and the MC was right along with him, crying as if that loss was theirs...

On another, Satan had spent the whole day silently fuming and the MC was a complete wreck, tense and on-edge for no other reason than the feeling of aggression in the air…

And crowds… crowded rooms seemed to be the death of them. So much noise and constant input, they’d have to leave so quickly…

Asmo saw all these things himself, without having to be told, and he became a refuge for them when things became too much. He has a big personality himself, but he could tone it down for a time and offer them a place away for a while.

If school, parties, or the brothers themselves just became too much, the MC could always go to Asmo’s room to vent like they let everybody else to with them. He’d keep the place quiet and calm and just help them sort things out...

Thank their father for Asmo’s observance.

Beelzebub

Legit the calmest, sweetest, nicest person to be around. Truly the best companion for an empathic MC to have.

Beel’s personality is positive, sweet, and (most importantly) stable. He’s not too bombastic nor too withdrawn, he’s not riddled with hidden stress or self-loathing, and he’s not even manipulative in any way, he’s just… Beel.

Am I saying that Beel is the MC’s emotional support demon? Yes. Yes I am.

Being around Beel is like hooking them up to a walking battery recharging station. Something about him just exudes warmth and comfort… They could be wrapped up in his arms for days and never say a word yet still be perfectly content...

Beel doesn't really mind them coming to him when distressed either because he likes being able to help them when they’re feeling drained. It makes him feel kind of special, they don’t seem to go to anyone else in quite the same way.

Usually, one of his brothers will be in a bad mood and the human will flock to Beel like a protective barrier. They'll hug him or trail along behind him like a lost puppy, which he thinks is very cute.

If they’re feeling really out of it, he’d carry them around on his back while they rest like he does for Belphie sometimes. Any time his brothers try to get too close to them or look like they’re going to bother them, he’ll just carry them away to some place quieter.

Though, the MC did pick up the deep sadness he felt for Lilith and Belphie (while he was gone) from time to time.... Which, considering how kind and comforting he usually is, just makes that dip in mood all the more painful and distressing for them. Poor baby… 

Belphegor

Belphie is another calm personality to have around, kind of similar to Beel, but since he's more prone to sadness and irritability he doesn't make the best companion…

If Beel is comfort, then Belphie is repose. Relaxed and peaceful, but also languid and sluggish… When Beel isn't around, then he makes a decent second, but only on good days.

Belphie has a mixed opinion on their uncanny ability to pick up on his feelings… He tries his best to be “mysterious” so having someone who can read him like a book gets under his skin just a little…

But he also really likes how much it helps them get to know him and understand where he’s coming from (being the youngest, he isn’t as used to being heard by anybody other than Beel). So, he’s very conflicted…

It didn’t help at all when it came to light that the MC could legitimately tell that he felt very hostile and angry towards them while he was still in the attic. When he asked why they helped him anyway, they told him so that they could make Beel happy again, regardless of how he felt about them which... ouch...

As if he could feel any worse about that particular incident… They could feel how guilty he was about that… right?

Even if they can’t he makes sure that they know that he’s sorry and he won’t do it again. Probably the lil’shit.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios

[wistfulrat]

a 4-part rec list of my fave drarry fics - the thrillers, dramas, soft bois, and wankbanks getting me through 2020′s shitstorm

[the soft boi list is here and truly i’m not surprised this rec is going to be the longest bc if there’s one thing a bitch is going to do, it’s yearn.

as always! if you love a fic, follow the authors, leave kudos & comments, send them nice msgs bc free art is still labor xoxo]

part 3: soft bois

mood: for when I need respite, a balm to the all-consuming shittiness of life

includes: fluff, comfort, low-stakes, slow-burn fics. a wistful look, a rainy morning, an unexpected grace, a stupidly disarming joke. i could live inside these fics. the smallness of human lives removed from the site of that which hurts & irreparably changes. the story-equivalent of a deep breath after a long day. pregnant silences & pensive mundanity & shy smiles. banter with bite but without the cruelty. the color lavender. weirdly whimsical. soft fics are not necessarily conflict-averse (no drarry fic rly can be, considering the context) but, they offer the reader a generous distance from the initial harm. they’re the quiet cleaning up after a storm. sometimes healing is an exacting surgical knife and other times it’s a slow scabbing. you read these fics to be reassured that the way forward is not always ruthless. and honestly?? they deserve a semblance of peace godDAMmit.

The Way Down by @letteredlettered - 65k - T “and I thought that if someone talked to you as though you were a human being you might—maybe you could act like one” --the way i think about this line daily. the characterization of draco in this fic is one my favorites bc he’s earnest and neurotic and tired of harry’s shit. which is to say, he cares so so much. and harry doesn’t know what to do with that bc he’s got a monster in his chest and lives as a recluse. but they both humanize each other in ways no one else can. “you’re just a person” has to be some kind of drarry ethics of belonging and it makes me CRY. -

Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them by @greaseonmymouth and dustmouth - 96k - T “Maybe it’s not about deserving it? Maybe you just get to have it anyway. . .I’m allowing myself to want something and to let myself have it and to fight for it.” --harry runs a daycare and also works at a library. draco spends a lot of time in said library. they bond over sci-fi books and therapy anecdotes and quiet philosophical conversations held over cafeteria soup. and harry’s struggling to understand his asexuality. draco’s learning how to live with anxiety and depression. they both want to be deserving of love. incredible fic with beautiful art by dustmouth. - 

Open for Repairs by @drarrytrash - 35k - T “A few leaves rustle in the gutter and the muggle world pays no mind to them, to two lost boys holding on for dear life.” --all of their fics feel exactly like this. like you’ve been allowed to look at something private, tender, unexpected. draco, known abba fan, is a repairman in the muggle world & harry can’t stop breaking thrifted things in order to see him? say less, i'm thERE. also “I think I have a crush on you” goddddd  - other faves by them: Counting Down By Ten - 2k - T: draco’s stepped outside of the party for a smoke. harry follows him bc of course he does. i could read this 100 times and not get tired of it. - Clouds That Veil the Midnight Moon - 36k - E: FUCKING HILARIOUS I CACKLED THROUGH THE WHOLE THING. draco’s wolfy problem and harry helping him and harry being flustered by how much he likes draco and draco’s hot heroic moment. shutup it’s perfect. “He almost asks if Draco ever gets tired of being a miserable complaining shit all the time, but he knows that he, personally, never ever gets tired of being a miserable complaining shit.” and “It’s the traumas,” Harry says gravely” --lines that live rent free in my head -

Harry Potter and the Future He Doesn't Really Want, Thanks by seefin - 70k - E “That was the only logical thing to do here, wasn’t it? It was the next step, it was the end of hurting each other and the beginning of the exact opposite.” --harry lives with luna and neville and also he dreams about the future sometimes? and he keeps running into draco. draco thinks this is sus as hell, until he doesn’t. feat. taxi rides, museums, cinemas, rooftop conversations beneath a lunar eclipse, mid-sex innocuous banter, draco and harry discussing nicki minaj. this fic charmed my ass off. seefin writes the most effortlessly hilarious dialogues. i smiled at my phone like an idiot at least 7 times. -  other faves by them: Wild - 93k - E: “he liked feeling needed, for the things that he was needed for back at the house in Ireland. For cooking and gardening and driving. Easy things.” --this shit makes me cry it’s so good. harry lives in Ireland with these three brilliant, hilarious, wandless witches and draco’s a potions student who's come to study under one of the housemates and the boys have so much shit to work through but their love becomes so tender and honest. draco yells at harry a lot and harry lets him and they both keep each other grounded in something real and fuCK.  - Divination for Dickheads - 7k - G: “I’m terrible at having crushes. I’ve never played anything cool a day in my life.” -- oh harry, we knOW. a bus ride, a fortune teller, an aquarium birthday party. god i love this fic. -

Modern Love by @tackytigerfic​ - 61k - E “But we’ve worked so hard at this, haven’t we? Yeah, I know it’s a horror to have to talk about it, but fuck it. We’re friends now, but it took so long to get here. Have you ever had to work so hard at something before?" --the steady blossoming of their friendship in this fic is so goddamn beautiful i want to yell. it’s draco and harry learning to trust each other and the whole thing unfolds so slowly, in this whimsical mix of london streets, wizarding politics, church halls feat. a Hot vicar, and a magical antique shop owner who’s married to literal poseidon?? goD the environment of this fic. immaculate. [also there’s a tender shower scene that makes me cry every single fucking time so if you read this fic pls dm me so we can be embarrassing about it together tbh] -

Nice Things by aideomai - 22k - M “He kept waiting for the weird shock of touch to not knock him clean out of his head, leave him quiet and warm and happy.” --8th year. harry forms an unlikely friendship with draco that begins with smoking weed on a windowsill. harry is touch-starved and draco touches him like he touches all his close friends - like it’s easy. the quiet affection in this fic, the way harry burrows himself into touch bc he’s been without it for his entire life. reading this is like being held. -

Running On Air by @tinyhistory​ - 74k - T “do you remember when we were eleven?” --alexa play coldplay’s the scientist it’s sad girl hours and we’re about to fucking yearn. you’ve seen this fic rec on every drarry list under the sun and i'm here to be redundant. the hype is so goddamn real. this story is a lyrical masterpiece held together by lines that act as refrains that will rattle around your brain until you die, probably. draco’s been missing for 3yrs. harry goes to find him. it’s their odyssey of homecoming. -

Title of Their Sex Tape by @cibeewastaken - 12k - T “But Draco, Draco was everything but boring. Draco made sitting in the rain watching an empty house fun.” --auror partners pining and draco being eccentric and harry being very earnestly gay about draco’s eccentricities!! god this fic is so genuinely fun skskd feat. undercover missions, murderous faeries, a book heist, a stunning navy dress, harry’s eyelashes. -

How We Throw Our Shadows Down by @thistle-verse - 14k - T “Draco is about to say something else— to thank Potter for what he’d done, however poorly— but Harry is smiling at him again, and it’s so soft and perfect that Draco holds in any inadequate words, lest he spoil it.” --draco collects tea cozies and of course harry has the one he wants. the sad and tender gays are at it again feat. conversations in the rain at a train station, melancholy Blaise, muggle photos, wizarding e-bay, the Dursleys.  -

Helix by Saras_Girl - 92k - E “Draco sighs in his sleep and Harry clings on to consciousness, needing to hold on, to give this tiny, insignificant moment the attention it deserves” --I think maybe you can describe every soft Saras_Girl story as giving tiny, insignificant moments the attention they deserve. like, this is an 8th year fic about snails and it’s full of whimsy, grief, compassion, and easy humor. an absolute must-read author in this genre if you want languorous, episodic fics full of distinct OCs and affectionate creatures. - other faves by them: Light up the Night Sky - 98k - M “Draco, sometimes you make my head feel like soup” --the one where harry is a fireworks artist and has a pet chameleon named ken. draco is on the wizarding arts council. they both pine like hell. - Headlights in the Snow - 71k - M “they stare at each other in silence, Harry’s heart beating so loud in his chest that he thinks the biddies must be able to hear it over the sound of their card game.” --the one where draco drives the knight bus and carts around the biddy club, a group of rambunctious old ladies who knit and drink tea and gossip. harry can’t help but fall in love with the everything about this. -

Follow the Water by @xanthippe74 - 38k - T “Harry’s heavy thoughts lift at the sight, like dark clouds blown away from the sun by the wind. The tent doesn’t feel so cramped and stifling now. It feels cozy. And safe. It’s the same feeling that Harry gets when he’s at the Burrow for Sunday roasts, when a group of people who care for each other deeply are crammed into too-small a space.” --harry wanders to the lovegood house on a sunday afternoon. he’s baffled to see that luna’s taken pansy, greg, and draco under her wing. what follows is a summer of forest walks, scavenger hunts, gardening, water fights, odd cakes, faerie rings, and picnics. so many picnics. i love the pace of this fic, the innocent return to childhood things, the way luna brings out the best in all her friends. reluctantly soft slytherins are just *chefs kiss*!! -

Going Postal (A 125pg comic) by dustmouth - T what. a. beautiful. ass. comic. the wizarding fashion, the textures, the character design!! harry travels a lot for his job as a resourcer. draco works in the regulations dept. they pine like a bunch of lovesick idiots via field report notes. god i love dustmouth’s art. -

All the Earnest Young Men by @tepre​ - 29k - E “Draco is twenty-seven layers of personality wrapped up in drama and humour, and a wit so sharp it still stings when he doesn’t see it coming. But there is something below that, too. Something that makes Harry ache just looking at him.” --the way i would lay down my little life for tepre’s characterization of draco, whom invented the word earnest. he’s a magical art theory expert and portraits are disappearing all over London and harry’s the auror assigned to this case. and well. they’re both so very avoidant about how gay they are for each other and it’s like!! shutup and kiss!! which they do in fact, shutup and kiss.  -

Trenches by sara_holmes - 3k - M “Somewhere in the distant part of his mind that hasn't frozen solid, he thinks that maybe he and Draco are about to become more than auror partners, smoking buddies, wine-mates and co-inhabitants of a snow filled trench somewhere in western Scotland.” --the plot line here is literally “it’s cold and i need a fucking cigarette” but let me tell you how I never tire of the shared loaded-silences of two emotionally repressed gays. -

The Years Before Love by lomonaaeren - 13k - M “That’s one of the meanings of peace, he thinks, as Hermione hugs him...That he can do things slowly, softly, without worrying that they won’t be there tomorrow.” --andromeda taking harry under her wing and harry finding solace in teddy. narcissa and draco showing up and the tentative relationships that slowly develop in the quiet calm of andromeda’s house. found families and kisses in the snow and special xmas gifts ugh what’s not to love -

The Moon Looks Lovely Tonight by Omi_Ohmy - 35k - M “I want this to be a house where people are welcome, where they don’t have to be any one way or another” --in which harry collects lost things--owls, best friends, inept bakers, potions experimenters--and turns the mausoleum that is grimmauld place into a home. feat. your fave drarry tropes like shared-beds and reluctant waltzing partners. -

[part 1: thrillers | part 2: dramas | part 3: soft bois | part 4: wankbanks]

#drarry fic rec #drarry fic #soft drarry #OK FINE I RAMBLED BUT WHAT DID WE EXPECT #alexa play futile devices

[mdawritings]

“Arrested” [Aaron Hotchner X Female Reader]

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Rating: E

Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader

Wordcount: 8,510

Summary: 

The BAU is working a case in the DC area: an unsub killing women outside of nightclubs and bars. When you get arrested and manage to end up in the same precinct as Aaron Hotchner, the team discovers that their unit chief has been sleeping with a MUCH younger woman. Even more importantly, they discover that aside from being Hotch's fuck buddy, you have had direct contact with the unsub. Told through cute and smutty flashbacks throughout your relationship with Aaron.

AO3 Link

It had been weeks since you’d seen Aaron. The first week you didn’t see him was because of a case over the weekend in Florida. You had sent him a few scandalous pictures while he was flying home…

You rest your head against the arm of your sofa lazily. You reach for the phone and look at the simple text from Aaron. “On the way home now. I want to see you soon.” Just those words send bolts of happiness, excitement, and arousal through you. You press the top of your phone to your lips to suppress your growing smile. You text him back.

“Been imagining your hands touching me instead of my own”

Aaron picks up his phone at the chime. He reads the message from you and can’t help but start to stir a little. God, the thoughts of you home alone… touching yourself thinking about him. Yeah, that definitely does something to him. It’s not like you weren’t in his thoughts the entire time. It's difficult to focus on a case when all he really wants is to be home, buried under the covers with you, taking in your light, yet intoxicating perfume. Touching your soft, perfect skin. Hearing you scream his name… He almost lets out a moan but catches himself and looks around the jet at his sleeping coworkers.

He quickly replies to your message, “Oh yeah?”

You jump up from the couch, exhaustion rapidly dissipating from your previously sore limbs at the thought of seeing Aaron tonight. Memories of his large hands touching, groping, squeezing your body flood into your mind.

You hurry to slip on the purple lingerie set you bought. You stand in front of your bathroom mirror. You take a few minutes, capturing some, quite honestly, fucking amazing photos.

“Missing the feeling of you buried inside me” You send the photos along. You grow even happier at the thought of him getting a fucking hard-on while just a few feet away from his sleeping coworkers. You revel in the effect you manage to have over such a powerful, dominant, authoritative man. It makes you especially proud to think about his normal demeanor, stoic, hard-faced, serious, and how easy it is for you to reduce him to simpering, whimpering, moaning mess under your touch. Your phone chimes a mere seconds after sending the photos.

“You are torturing me. We HAVE to see each other when I land”

You fell asleep in your bed in that lingerie waiting for him. You didn’t see his messages until the next morning, saying the sitter for Jack fell through and he probably wouldn’t be able to see you until next weekend.

At the start of the second week, he got called away to a case in California. That one took up the whole week and by the time he got home, he was way too exhausted to spend time with you.

This kind of thing went on for two weeks. A full month without Aaron had been torture. It wasn’t like you expected him to drop everything and come running to you. You understand he has a kid to take care of and an FBI unit to run. Plus, it isn’t like you two are really dating. Do you sometimes wish you were? Hell yes. Is it reasonable or feasible? Absolutely not.

That doesn’t mean you don’t enjoy what you have going on right now. He comes over to your place, tired and frustrated from a long day at work, and he— well he fucks your brain out. You’re always working hard on your Ph.D. and Aaron’s job is just plain stressful. You both need and enjoy the amazing stress relieving benefits of casual sex. You do enjoy each other’s company without having sex sometimes. It usually happens on those weekends when you or he or both of you are way too exhausted. But really, it's the moments after sex that make you question what you truly are to one another…

Your heart rate begins to steady and you can’t help but smile up at Aaron. He looks down at you with that small Hotchner version of a smile. It’s a smile that wouldn’t seem like much to anyone else, but you know how infrequently he lets the corners of his mouth turn up in happiness. “How do you do it?”

You soon realize after letting the words out, (and from the confusion on his face), that he cannot, in fact, read your mind and understand what you mean, “How do you go from seeing all that bad out there in the world to lying in this bed with me with that adorable smile on your face?”

For a split second, you think you’ve said something wrong. The smile falls from his face and his brows tense up. You always tease him about his eyebrows, telling him the more he frowns the more wrinkles he’ll get.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to cross a line—”

“I don’t want to pull you into all this… my work. I want to protect you from it.” Your heart practically sinks into your stomach. That’s not the type of language you use with your casual sex partner. Then again, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t worry every time he leaves for a case. You worry that you’ll never see him again. You won’t even find out he’s dead because no one knows about the two of you.

“Y/N,” he pulls you out of your thoughts. His voice cuts through the silent room and you look back up into his soft eyes. They’re searching your face, scanning your behavior. You can tell he’s trying to figure out what you could possibly be thinking.

“Stop doing that,” you warn him, but your tone is light-hearted, “That whole studying my behavior thing you do.”

“Profiling,” he corrects you and runs a hand over your hair. The action is like a natural reflex for him, he’s not even consciously aware he’s pulling you closer to him.

“Right. That. Stop profiling me,” you laugh.

“Well, how am I supposed to know what’s spinning around in your head when you zone out like that.”

“I’m thinking about the fact that you listen to me rattle on and on about statistical physics but you don’t talk about your job.”

“You need to stop talking about physics after sex. It makes me feel like I’m sleeping with Reid,” he laughs and notices your confusion, “He’s a coworker of mine. You’d like him.”

You’d like him. That phrase sticks with you. Does that mean he wants you to meet his coworkers someday?

You’re not sure why you and Aaron never discuss a real relationship. Well, it’s more like Aaron never discusses a real relationship. Aaron doesn’t really discuss anything. The first time you really talked to him you thought his closed-off nature was charming, dreamy…

“Aaron Hotchner… right?” You look over the man who has just walked up to the bar next to you.

He reaches for the beers he’s just ordered, obviously for a group, but stops as you call out his name, “I’m sorry do I know you?”

“You work for the FBI… Behavioral something unit.” Your laugh sounds loud and obnoxious to you, but to him, it’s bright and cuts through the din of the chaotic bar.

“Behavioral Analysis Unit,” Aaron’s eyebrows furrow. He looks you over before turning his attention back to your face, searching it for answers.

“Oh god!” You're not really the type to strike up a conversation with a man in a bar but you’re feeling bold, not to mention empowered by the liquor, “I must seem so crazy. You gave a talk at Georgetown I attended. I’m a Ph.D. student there. It was about criminal psychology.” His face softens as he begins to realize you’re not a crazy stalker nor an obsessed fan. You stick your hand out for him to shake, “Y/N Y/L/N.”

“It’s nice to meet you, again, I guess,” He nods as he shakes your hand. You can tell he’s just trying to be polite and he glances over his shoulder at a group of people at a booth. Their eyes are all on you two. He wants to go back but something about you is drawing him in. “So you’re pursuing a Ph.D. in psychology?” He moves to sit at the bar next to you.

“Actually no.” You feel flush rushing into your face as he moves closer to you and sits down. You can’t help but look over his body. He’s much closer to your height now that he’s sitting down. He’s wearing a black quarter zip and dark jeans. His hair is neatly gelled back. He does not fit into this atmosphere. “I’m getting a Ph.D. in physics. I conduct theoretical research on the experimental implementation of quantum computing with trapped ions in— I conduct research.” Your blush deepens.

Aaron smiles widely at your ranting before jumping in, “So what were you doing in a criminal psychology lecture?”

Your face feels hot with embarrassment, “I snuck in. It sounded interesting.” You shrug slightly and reach for the drink from the bartender. “I almost didn’t show up, but then a classmate told me one of the FBI agents was very attractive.” You give a small wink before reaching for your check for your drinks from the night. “And she was right, Agent Prentiss is drop-dead gorgeous.” Your attempts to keep a poker face fail, your lips curling with delight.

Aaron laughs as he takes the check from your hands. “You don’t have to—” You protest slightly but Aaron holds up his hand to silence you.

“My treat. As a thank you, for breaking the rules to see my lecture.” He shares in your smile as he hands the bartender his card, paying for your drinks. Your ex just broke up with you a few weeks prior so you came out to cheer yourself up. Seeing Aaron Hotchner up close and personal is… definitely a pick me up.

“Do you have a business card or something?”

“Uh… yes.” Aaron is hesitant to hand it over but reaches into his wallet for one. You grab a pen and take the business card from Aaron. You scribble down your number on the back and hand it to him.

“This is my number.” You hold it out before reaching for your purse. He looks down at the number and then back up at you. For a grown, adult man, he doesn’t seem to understand. You can see confusion written all over his face, it’s quite adorable honestly. His face though it seemingly remains emotionless, in just the few minutes you’ve spent talking to him, you see hints of smiles hidden under a professional, powerful exterior.

“Call me sometime. You know, so I can pay you back for that drink.” You stand up from the bar, legs weak from the heavy drinking you’ve done, “Or if you just want some company.” He nods slightly in response and you turn to leave. You can’t help but turn for a second to watch as Aaron walks back to his table of what appear to be friends. One of the women looks back at you and smiles the most infectious, sweetest smile at you. You return it and move to leave the bar.

It wasn’t until late that night that you got a call. The drinking your sorrows away didn’t stop once you left that bar. You were curled up on your couch, a glass of wine clutched in your hands.

“Hello?” you mumble into the phone, pulling the blanket around your shoulders tighter.

“We didn’t really get to talk much at the bar, but I’m pretty sure you made some promises about paying me back for that drink,” A stern man’s voice cuts through the phone.

“Aaron?” you ask momentarily confused, “It—It’s late, are you drunk?”

Your laugh rings through the phone and it’s that laugh that has Aaron so intensely drawn to you. He can’t help himself. He needs to be near you, “Just go to the door.”

You stand up, “My door? How did you get my—oh right. FBI agent,” you muse and open your door. And there he is, standing at the door with the phone pressed to his ear. He pulls it away and hangs up. “This is incredibly creepy, I hope you know that.” You lean against the doorframe, pulling your large sweater around yourself tighter. His eyes run over you. You grin slightly, catching his wandering gaze, and at that, he shoves his hands in his pockets.

“So about that drink you owe me.” Aaron takes a few hesitant steps into your apartment. He closes the door behind him, “How about you pay me back wit—” he starts to talk but you don’t let him finish his sentence. You grip his shirt and pull him close, your lips melting against his.

It’s messy and passionate and needy. You struggle to stumble along, guiding him towards your bedroom and his hands are touching every inch of you. He hurriedly pulls your sweater off and tosses it off to the side before unzipping your dress. You let it fall to the floor and kick it off as you match his frantic pace, pulling off his shirt and pushing down his jeans. He lays you down gently and reaches around to unclasp your bra.

“Holy fuck,” Aaron groans as he takes a second to take in your naked body.

Then he’s leaving a trail of soft kisses down the expanse of your chest and breasts. He travels down further. His lips brush against your inner thighs, his stubble tickling your skin. He smirks up at you wickedly as he grips your thong in his teeth, pulling it down your legs. You already know your soaking wet pussy will give away just how bad you want him right now.

He doesn’t hesitate, he goes to work on you. Licking and stroking and rubbing your clit. Your back arches and you grip the sheets and his hair. You massage your breasts, panting heavily as two of his fingers press into you, his tongue flicking your overly sensitive bud of nerves. “Oh god, Aaron yes!”

His name rolls off your tongue and you continue to chant it like a fucking mantra as his somehow rough yet gentle touch drives you wild. You feel the knots building in your stomach. Your legs tremble with pleasure as your eyes shut harshly. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You’re panting intensely at this point and the whole room practically slips away as your orgasm hits and your body feels out of control. Every nerve ending on fire. And Aaron is merciless, he continues to lick and tease as you ride out your high.

He can’t help but grin proudly at the number he’s done on you. As he comes up to plant a few more kisses on your lips, you feel his rock hard erection pressing against your thigh. You kiss him hungrily while fumbling to stroke him through his boxers.

The groan the emerges from his lips is… holy fucking shit it’s sexy. You flip the two of you over so you’re on top of him, your chest pressed against his. You dip your hand into his boxers, pumping the entirety of his length. You feel him getting harder and his cock twitches in conjunction with a loud, throaty groan. “Y/N." His eyes flutter open and he grabs your arm to still your motions. “I need you, now.”

Within seconds he’s peeling his boxers off, you roll the condom down onto him and you slam your hips down on his. You can’t contain the loud gasps and moans as you feel your walls stretch around him. Fuck it’s been too long since you’ve had sex. You’re still for a second and Aaron bucks his hips, needing friction, needing to thrust and feel your tightness around him.

“Oh god." Your eyes are practically rolling back in your head as Aaron takes an agonizing pace, lifting your hips all the way up just to slam them all the way back down again.

He has a vice grip on your hips and you can feel the bruises forming under his fingertips. You grind your hips against his as you ride him faster. “Fuck you feel amazing,” Hotch lets out another one of those agonizingly sexy groans.

“I’m close,” you whine out. Aaron reaches to rub your clit with his thumb as he starts thrusting his hips up to meet yours chaotically. That combined with his large cock hitting your sweet spot sends you tumbling over the edge once again. It’s not long after that you feel his cock throbbing deep inside you, his hips messily thrusting and his face contorted up in pleasure. His panting becomes rapid and it's not long before he’s coming undone inside you. You flip off of him to collapse at his side on the bed.

“So when are we doing this again?” you pant heavily and hear a beautiful sound beside you. The sound of Aaron laughing.

Sometimes you worry if he’s embarrassed by you. I mean, you’re a few years shy of 20 years younger than him. You’re still in school. He was starting college by the time you were out of diapers. He runs a whole goddamn unit of the FBI and you’re still a student. You both are in entirely separate places in life, how do you reconcile that? It’s not as if he keeps you secret. Jessica knows you and you met his son Jack one time. Besides, you’re not really showing him off either. Not that you have many people to show him off to.

Like said, it’s been weeks since you’ve seen him which has just left you to sit around and overthink just about everything.

Aaron is working a case in DC. You saw the news reports the other day. Women were turning up dead in alleyways behind popular nightclubs and bars in the downtown area. Despite this horrifying news, you were happy when he told you the case was at home. It meant less travel. Less travel means Aaron is less tired. Which means more sex for you. And god, did you need sex.

It’s your friend’s 27th birthday and in an attempt to keep her from crying about getting a year older, you and a group of friends promised to go out drinking with her. You reach for your phone to check for any messages from Aaron. You would drop all your plans if he told you he was coming over tonight. There is one new message but it’s not exactly the text you were hoping for.

From: Aaron:

Please be safe for the next few days. Don’t go anywhere alone. Call me if there’s any trouble or if you need anything at all.”

You furrow your brows. It’s not news that Aaron cares about you and wants to look out for you but usually while on a case it’s radio silence from him. Yes, if you were really in danger he would want you to call immediately, but usually, he tells you he needs to focus on the job and nothing else. You dismiss the text, chalking it up to the presence of a serial killer in the city you both live in. Hell, you were pretty freaked out too. You had seen the girls on the news, 20-30, with your hair color and around your height.

You let out a long sigh, knowing you are most definitely not getting laid tonight. It’s time to get stupid drunk with your friends and enjoy your night anyway.

It does not take long for you and all your friends to reach the perfect level of sloppy drunk. Seeing as you all haven’t been out in months, what with some of you pursuing real jobs, grad school, med school, and whatnot, there hasn’t been a lot of time for screwing around as you did in college.

“So come on! You cannot still be single,” your close friend Sarah screams in your face over the music.

“It’s complicated,” you feel your words starting to string together. They’re not quite slurred but it’s getting there, “He just comes over, fucks my brains out, we spend some time together, and then it’s over.”

Your comments provoke a loud response of laughs and cheers from your friends, “So we don’t even get a name? Or a job? Or where you met him?”

“He guest lectured a course on abnormal and criminal psychology a few months ago,” You start to explain but Sarah is cutting you off before the words have left your mouth.

“Months? This has been going on for months?” You roll your eyes. The bartender places another full tray of shots in front of you guys. She nods towards a man at the edge of the bar. As you look up, he gives you a small wave and smiles. Creepy.

“No, I ran into him a few weeks after and I just gave him my number.” You down the shot, souring your face up before reaching for a lime wedge to chase it, “And then things just happened.”

“Name? Job? Age?” Another friend rattles off at you.

“Isn’t this Sarah’s birthday? Shouldn’t we be talking about her?” You try and steer the conversation away from yourself. You turn back to the bar and see that same man who sent you the shots staring at you. Even when you turn away you can feel his eyes boring into the back of your head.

“Well I want to know, so this is a birthday present,” she continues to pry and it drives you crazy. You're just not ready to share what you and Aaron have with the world.

“His name is Aaron and he works in the FBI and he’s 45,” You mumble that last part into your glass as you take a long sip.

“He’s how old?” Your friend’s jaw drops and another friend grins widely. Your face is burning hot at embarrassment and all the attention.

“Can we all just shut up and drink?” you command forcefully before downing your own.

Hotch looks down at his phone, waiting for any sign that Y/N has seen his text. He doesn’t panic though. She has a life, she’s busy. She probably has plans for the evening. Maybe she’s out… with someone. Aaron shakes his head slightly before forcing his attention to the case. But his mind wanders. Would she go out with someone? It’s not like anything between them is defined. I mean, he would never go out with anyone else. He just wants her. If she wants to go out on a date she can do whatever she wants. Yet, Hotch can’t help but feel the jealousy coursing through his body. The idea of someone else touching her… yeah, that makes him angry.

His more rational thinking takes over. Maybe she’s busy with school work. He knows how hard she’s been working on her research. He fails to hide a smile as he thinks about the way her face lights up when talking about her research. The passion she has for her work is extremely adorable...

You hear three short raps at the door, “It’s open!” you call out as you rush to get all your thoughts down on your computer. You hear the door open and the footsteps approaching.

“You leave your door unlocked? Do you realize how incredibly unsafe and unwise that is?” You can hear that Aaron probably has his stern face on, judging by the disapproval in his voice.

“I knew you were coming,” You shrug and gnaw at your bottom lip furiously as you work, “I just need one moment. I was thinking that in a controlled quantum environment...” As you start to ramble Aaron’s hands snake around your waist. He pushes your hair to the side, placing feather-light kisses along your neck.

“Mm,” He mumbles against you.

“Wait, wait,” you moan, “If you keep doing that I’m going to lose my train of thought and I will never forgive you unless you can formulate how to create thermal distrib—” He nips at your skin and gives your hips a squeeze. Your groans grow louder.

“The physics can wait,” Aaron growls against your skin, turning you around so he can passionately kiss you, “I need you now.”

The panic doesn’t ease because Aaron reaches to call you once again. You don’t pick up because well… you’re a little preoccupied drowning your liver. He thinks, if you had just given a small ok text, he would know you’re safe. But he’s panicking. He continues to panic for the next hour until something unexpected soothes that anxiety. The sound of your screaming drunken voice radiating throughout the entirety of the precinct the team is working in. But as soon as the wave of anxiety dissipates, he feels his stomach drop.

“I’m a victim here!” you screech and cement your legs in place so that the officers holding your arms are practically dragging you.

“Ma’am please!” You kick your legs violently as the officers try to seat you in a chair. They undo your handcuffs and redo them so that your hand is cuffed to the desk. “We’re understaffed and backed up so you sit here and shut up while we get you booked.”

“He was feeling me up! Under the skirt over the panties. He grabbed my ass, I’m sure I have a mark you wanna see it? He assaulted me!” you continue to screech and reach for the hem of your dress, ready to flash every cop in the precinct your ass.

“So you smashed a bottle over his head? Real ladylike,” one of the officers steps forward and holds your hand tight to keep you from lifting the dress.

“Don’t I get a phone call.” Now your words are slurred together. That last round of shots before you got arrested is hitting you hard.

“Once we book you.”

“I know a federal agent. From the FBI,” you spell out the letters obnoxiously, “Do you even know what that is?”

“Yes, I’m sure the federal government will come running to post your bail. Stay here. Don’t move,” the officer commands and you hold up your handcuffed wrist to demonstrate that you’re quite frankly incapable of going anywhere.

“Oh my god,” Prentiss lets out a small laugh from the conference room. “I can hear her through the closed doors.”

“Well, most of this room is glass and sound travels through the glass just about the same as it does air. A better insulating material would be a foam or fiberglass or even a mineral wood composite,” Reid clarifies before giving that signature tight-lipped smile.

“She is… really something,” Morgan laughs and nudges Hotch, “Hotch look.”

Hotch turns and sees what he’s dreading. He sees you, drunk out of your mind. Your skimpy dress is somehow simultaneously riding low on top and riding up on the bottom. You have a small cut lip and a little bit of blood on your dress. His brows furrow deeply. “Oh god,” he mutters under his breath.

“These cops are supposed to stay in the bars and clubs for protection. Why are they wasting time on drunk girls?” Rossi finally chimes in.

The cops finally get you settled into a chair and you kick your feet like a child. “Call the FBI! I know them.”

“Oh does she now. You guys know her?” JJ rolls her eyes and laughs, “I am so glad I never got arrested when I was in college. My parents would’ve killed me.”

“College? Girls do not look like that in college,” Morgan smirks.

“We have to focus on the case,” Hotch's jaw tightens as he sees Morgan look over your body. It’s not something new for Morgan but when he’s making those eyes at you specifically, Hotch feels that surge of jealousy again.

“Call them! Call Agent Aaron Hotchner.” You lean back and try to cross your arms, but your right hand is yanked back by the cuffs.

The team all turns to Hotch with wide eyes. “You know her?” Rossi smirks.

“Where exactly do you know her from?” Emily fights the grin growing on her lips as she looks over her stone-faced boss.

“I’m sorry what?” The cop glances down at you.

“Aaron Hotchner with the Behavioral Unit Analysis Science thing or something like that he’s in the FBI he’s unit chief. I know him.” You roll your eyes at the cop who is speechless, “Oh god. Are you that thick? A-A-R-O-N H-O-T-C-H…” you trail off the alcohol inhibiting your spelling capabilities, “N-E-R. Aaron Hotchner! Call him and he’ll tell you to let me go.”.

The cop glances at some of his coworkers before looking at the conference room. You follow his gaze and see Aaron with a large group of other well-dressed agents. “Oh fuck,” you mutter. Aaron opens the glass doors and steps out of them walking towards you.

“So how does he know this girl?” Prentiss tries her best to hide her spying on you and Aaron.

“I got money on babysitter,” Morgan nods.

“No way, she’d be with Jack right now. I’d say she met him at work." JJ leans against the desk, watching Hotch as he looks down at you, crossing his arms.

“Then we’d all have seen her before. Plus she wouldn’t be telling them she knows the FBI. She would technically be part of the FBI. Why not use that?” Rossi rubs a hand over his goatee.

“He’s sleeping with her,” Reid states simply before turning back to his geographical profile on the board.

“What?” Multiple members of the team turn in shock, not only at the statement but at the fact that Reid is the one making it.

“No way. She’s… at most 27 years old.” Morgan shakes his head, “She is not Hotch’s type.”

“Are you jealous that Hotch has more game than you?” Reid teases without turning away from his work.

“When was your last date, pretty boy? Huh?” Morgan hits him on the back of the head playfully.

“Officer.” Aaron steps in between you and the officer. Good thing, because two more minutes with that guy and you would be charged with a lot more than resisting arrest and public disturbance.

“Aaron!” you squeak, “I didn’t know you were here!”

“Well, she’s definitely not a coworker. She called him Aaron.” Rossi nods at the rest of the team still in the conference room. For a team of profilers, their attempts to hide the spying are weak at best.

“I’ll take care of her.” He doesn’t bother looking at you, but he gives the officer his best unit-chief glare.

“Sir we have a process to go through here. We’re still processing her arrest,” the officer attempts to argue with Hotch but you can see the discomfort clearly in the officer. He struggles to meet Hotch’s eyes.

“Please officer, we have much more to deal with here. I want to find this guy before another body drops. We need you out there patrolling the bars for the guys, not the drunk girls the creeps hit on.” Aaron takes on a stern voice.

“Yes agent.” The cop is visibly annoyed but isn’t willing to get into a fight with a federal agent all over your stupid drunk ass.

“Are you injured? You’re bleeding.” He grabs your chin in his calloused fingers, turning your face from side to side to assess the small cuts. You almost moan into his touch but remember the current location.

“No, no it’s someone else’s.” You turn out of his grip, trying to push his hands off.

“Someone else’s? What did you do?” Fuck. Aaron is furious with you. His arms are crossed against his chest and you can see the veins in his neck standing out. The tone he takes with you is harsh and you’re not used to him speaking with you like that… at least not used to it outside the bedroom.

“It’s not my fault okay!”

Aaron holds the bridge of his nose frustratedly, “Y/N. I have a serial killer to profile, catch, and stop from murdering innocent women. Can I just get the truth?”

“This creepy guy kept sending me and my friends drinks all night so when I went to the bar to get us another round he came over. Things got messy.” You shrug your shoulders. “Can you take off these cuffs now?” You hold out your wrists, pouting out your bottom lip. You can physically see him soften at that.

As Aaron reaches for the key and undoes the cuffs, he shakes his head at the stench of alcohol seeping out of you, “You’re gonna have to do better than things got messy.”

“I just…” You pause, knowing the details of the story are going to make him upset but he wants the truth, “I knew he was a little off. Weird and creepy and pushy, you know?” You rub your irritated wrists, “So he starts talking to me, offering me some drink. I know better than to accept a drink from a stranger so I turned him down. That's when he grabbed my arm and well… tried to cop a feel.”

“Cop a feel?” Aaron’s jaw has tightened and his hands are clenched so tightly at his sides his knuckles are pale.

“He slid his hands under my dress.” Your hand ghosts over the sore spot on your bottom where the man dug his fingers into your flesh, “He grabbed my legs and then my ass and then… and then he tried to get his hands in my underwear.” You show Aaron the red marks on your inner thigh. You’re not sure what you expect from him, but his face remains hardened. The only emotion readable on him is anger.

“The blood is from self-defense,” Aaron begins to understand.

You nod, confirming his statement, “I grabbed the first thing I could and smashed him on the head. I think I sliced his eyebrow. By the time the cops came, he was gone and I was in cuffs.”

Aaron looks back at his team in the conference room. In a poor attempt to hide their spying, they all rapidly turn their eyes to their work. He takes a few steps closer to you, his eyes looking over the red bruising on your cheek. He fights every urge to reach out and touch you, stroke your face softly and kiss your lips, “Did he hurt you? We should get a medic to check you out or–”

He doesn’t have a second to finish that thought. “Hotch, another body just dropped,” Morgan and Prentiss come rushing out of the conference room, “We’re going to the crime scene now.”

Aaron nods at his team members, “Call me if anything stands out.” The team nods and Aaron reaches for your arm, walking you towards the rest of the team, “I don’t want you alone right now. You’re going to sit here and keep quiet, understand?”

You bite your lip and look around at the team, still pretending as if they’re not listening in, “Jeez way to embarrass me, Aaron,” you mumble under your breath as you drop down into a chair with a loud sigh like a child.

JJ can’t help but come over to talk to you, “I’m Jennifer." You give her your name, "It's so nice to meet you Y/N, how do you and Hotch know each other?”

“Hotch?” you let out before quickly realizing the nickname for Aaron. You shake her hand, “Oh Agent Hotchner and I are just fuc–“

“Friends,” Aaron cuts in, “Y/N and I are friends. We have a case to get back to,” Aaron frantically changes the topic of conversation but your little comment doesn’t go unnoticed by the team members. Even Reid is smiling slightly at your comment.

You sit back in your chair and take in the sight of Agent Hotchner, Unit Chief of the BAU. The confident and commanding energy he exudes is immensely attractive. It’s not long before the agents that left for the crime scene, Morgan and Prentiss return with news for Aaron.

“Sir we found something weird at the crime scene,” Morgan steps back into the room.

“Weird?” Hotch cocks his head slightly to the side.

“There were droplets of blood over the victim’s dress but it wasn’t her own,” Morgan shakes his head.

“But you called and said she had no defensive wounds, he drugged her like the others. How could he have been injured?” Hotch turns back to the other case files.

“We’re not sure,” Emily shakes her head, “It’s possible it’s unrelated but maybe he might have been hospitalized for something recently?”

“What about any witnesses?” Hotch nods, “Any people at Churchkey bar see anything unusual? A man that was a little too forceful with women?”

You snort slightly at that, “I wouldn’t say that’s unusual for a bar.”

Hotch shoots you a hard glare that shuts you up for good, while Prentiss lets a smile shine through.

“The bar was mostly cleared out. Apparently the bar was packed earlier tonight but it cleared out after a bar fight broke out.” Morgan informs the team.

You bite your lip harshly. Aaron told you no talking but… this is more important, right? “Wait, Churchkey bar?” You finally speak up and all the agents turn their attention to you.

“What about it?”

“That’s the bar I was at tonight.” You trail off at the end of your sentence.

“You remember someone or something off?” Rossi looks over your body language.

“I think I talked to the unsub. I think... I’m the one who injured him." You unconsciously wrap your arms tightly around your body.

“You think you could walk me through the night? Tell me about him, it could really help us,” Morgan moves to sit on the edge of the desk to face you. "We could do a cognitive interview." He nods at Hotch.

"A cognitive?" You look between the two men.

"It's a memory recall exercise. We would walk you through the night and you tell us as much as you can," Morgan explains gently.

"And it could help you find him?" You ask, unsure how much you remember about him.

"You might not realize the type of details that help us form the profile." Morgan places a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

Aaron clears his throat. “She’s not sober enough for a cognitive." You can tell that the fact that his personal life is bleeding into his work is driving him crazy.

“If I can help catch this creep, I want to help. I’m fine.” You touch your finger to your nose a few times in an attempt to demonstrate your sobriety.

“Then you should drink some coffee before we start,” Aaron dismissively addresses you before turning to leave, “And I’m going to want the whole truth.” He stalks off towards the interrogation room.

Rossi runs to catch up with Aaron, pulling him off to the side. “Aaron, you cannot conduct this cognitive.”

“Excuse me?” Aaron snaps, crossing his arms against his chest.

“Take a step back, pretend she’s not someone you clearly care about,” Aaron rolls his eyes at Rossi’s comment but plays along as he continues.

“She’s a young girl… just how young is she?” Rossi raises a brow at Aaron, losing his train of thought.

“Dave.” He lets out an exasperated sigh.

Rossi holds his hands up in defense, “Fine, okay. She’s a young girl, she’s a little drunk, and she’s been sexually harassed in a bar by our unsub. Who do you send in to talk to her?”

“The least intimidating figures to her,” Aaron nods.

“So definitely not the angry boyfriend who wants to kill anyone who touches her,” Rossi clarifies.

“I’ll send in JJ and Prentiss,” Hotch sighs and turns before pausing, “And I’m not her boyfriend.”

Rossi simply smiles and pats Aaron’s back, “Ok boss.”

You sit up in your chair tiredly as Emily and JJ walk into the interrogation room.

“Hi Y/N, I’m Agent Prentiss and you’ve already met Agent Jareau,” Emily sits across from you.

“He can hear us, right?” You bite your lip and look towards the glass.

“Who can hear us?” JJ takes a seat and places a file in front of you.

“Aaron.” You search the glass, knowing that you won’t be able to see him but that he definitely can see you.

“Oh uh-” Emily pauses, unsure what to say in response.

“Do you want more privacy? I can ask the agents to leave.” JJ starts to stand.

“Hearing this would help them figure who the killer is?” You’re gnawing your lip hard enough to draw blood, a nervous habit Aaron never hesitates to point out to you.

“Yes,” JJ sits back down.

“Then it’s fine.” You look over one last time, “Just make sure Aar— Agent Hotchner,” you correct yourself, “Make sure Agent Hotchner doesn’t lose his shit.”

“No promises,” Prentiss smirks and lets out a small breath, “We’re going to walk you through the night. If it gets to be too much you let us know and we’ll take a break, okay?”

Well, now you’re really nervous. You let out a small breath, “Okay.” You close your eyes as Agent Prentiss starts.

“You’re in the bar. It’s crowded…”

“Y/N I think he really likes you,” your friend Sarah laughs. “Come on go talk to him.”

“No, I really shouldn’t.” You feel dizzy and light on your feet from the alcohol the man has been plying you and your friends with.

“Why?” Another friend chimes in, “Big strong Agent Hotchner going to punish you for talking to another guy?” Your friends taunt you playfully.

You smile widely at them, “Yes, yes he will.”

“You naughty, naughty girl!” Sarah laughs. You feel eyes on you and look back to the man at the bar. He’s hunched over in his stool. He looks nervous, but he smiles sheepishly at you and waves. It’s not long before he’s calling the bartender over again and pointing at you animatedly.

“Next round is on me,” you say softly to your friends, keeping your eyes on the man’s face, memorizing every detail you can. His face is young but worn and tired. The wrinkles on his forehead tell you he frowns a lot. They’re lines that appear on Aaron’s face too. You think about how you tease Aaron about smiling more. God, you miss Aaron right now. You wish he was here to make you feel safe. As you walk up to the bar, your presence causes the man to stand up and move closer.

“I was going to order you and your friends more drinks. I ordered you a vodka soda. It’s what you’ve been drinking all night, right?” He stutters slightly as he talks to you. He slides a glass over to you, but you know better. Strange man... drink that you didn’t see the bartender actually make... no way.

“I was actually going to order a beer,” you try to reject the glass, “You take the vodka soda though. You’ll see why they’ve been my go-to all night. He’s been making them very strong.” You look at the bartender, ordering a beer. You pray that the young bartender senses your discomfort.

“Come on it’s a harmless drink.” The strange man moves into you, pushing the glass closer. “You have the drink, we’ll get to know each other better… you’ll like it. I can make you like it.”

Thinking about his words sends chills down your spine. You have to take a moment to let out a shaky breath.

“Are you sure you want to continue listening to this?” Rossi eyes Hotch. Hotch’s face is contorted so harshly into a mixture of anger, disgust, and sadness. His neck muscles tense, his arms are tightly crossed against his body. He doesn’t even acknowledge Rossi.

“Can you keep going?” JJ eyes your face. You nod.

“No thank you, and no more drinks for my friends and I. We can get our own drinks.” You turn to grab your beer but soon the man stops you. He grabs your wrist tightly, placing his other hand behind your back. He pulls you flush against him. His rough, calloused fingertips grab and scratch up your thighs, under the dress. He grabs your ass so hard you want to scream out. He continues to trail his fingers up, hooking around your panties and—

A sickening shattering noise and cracking erupt as you swing the beer bottle at his head. The man screams. “You bitch!” He slaps your face. You stumble back, falling on the floor, cutting your hands on the broken glass from the bottle. Your skin is sticky with alcohol and you glance down at the blood on your dress. The bar grows louder. The commotion intensifies. You feel a friend’s hands wrap around your arms pulling you up off the ground.

“Wait he—!” You look around for the man but he’s nowhere to be found.

“Not long after that I was being shoved into a cop car and escorted here.” You finally open your eyes and look at the two agents.

“I can make you like it?” Emily asks you to clarify. She speaks slowly clearly enunciating her words but you can hear the disgusted tone in her voice.

“That’s exactly what he said.” You wrap your arms around yourself, “Does that all help?”

“Yes, yes it does,” JJ reaches out to touch your hand gently. Your eyes flick back to the one-way glass. You can’t see Aaron but you can tell he’s probably fuming. He probably has that signature scowl on his face.

“Am I—” You clear your throat and try to adjust your dress for more modesty, “Can I go?” Prentiss gives you a sad, pity-filled smile and nods. You stand up quickly and exit the room in a rush, colliding with Aaron’s strong chest as you do. You look up into his eyes and you see something in his face you’ve never seen in all the times you've been with him: sadness. You bury your face into his chest and his arms wrap tightly around you. “I was scared,” You choke out as his large, warm hands rub circles into your back, “I needed you.” You ball up his shirt in your fists. You’re not one to cry easily, but your body shakes as you breathe heavily.

“I know,” his voice cracks as he rests his chin on top of your head. He runs one hand over your hair softly, shushing you gently, “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

You pull away from his chest and frantically pull his lips down to yours. A strong hand goes to your back, holding you close to him. You hear the interrogation room door open behind you, the two agents stepping out, but neither you nor Aaron break the kiss. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you,” Aaron breathes against your lips, pulling you back into a tight hug. “You’re safe here with me now.”

———

You lift the heavy metal knocker and let it slam down twice, waiting for the door to open. When it does, Rossi envelops you in his arms, a wide smile spreading across his lips. He grabs your face tightly, kissing each cheek joyfully. “Bellissimo! I’m so glad you could make it.” Rossi places a gentle hand on your back and leads you inside.

You walk into the crowded kitchen and the members of the BAU all turn and smile back at you. Aaron moves towards you and quickly gives you a soft kiss on your lips. “I’m so happy you’re here." 

“I’m so glad you’re finally home.” You pull away from Aaron to make the rounds hugging the people who are like family to you at this point.

Morgan wraps a friendly arm around your shoulder and can’t help but tease Aaron, “Hotch, you couldn’t be bothered to pick up your girl?” He turns to smile at you while Aaron shakes his head.

“I had to stop by the research lab so I just had my classmate Tyler drop me off after we finished up." You shrug.

“Tyler, huh?” Rossi grins, hoping to rile up Aaron a little.

“Is he cute?” JJ chimes in with a laugh.

Aaron quickly clears his throat, hoping to change topics. He raises his brows at you, “So do you want to share the news or should I do it for you?”

“Oh my god, you’re totally preggers!” Garcia squeals and runs to hug you again. You glance at Aaron and can only laugh.

“No, no.” You smile as she pulls away and you look at the shocked faces of everyone in the kitchen, even Aaron looks a little rattled. You playfully nudge his arm, “See what you did? Always causing trouble.”

“Me? If I recall correctly you’re the one who got arrested for being drunk off your ass and trying to fight a serial killer.” His comment elicits a series of small laughs from everyone.

"Yeah and it helped you catch him, so really you all should thank me for being drunk." You playfully argue with Aaron. "Anyway, the actual news. No, I'm not pregnant." You point at Penelope as she opens her mouth to say something else. 

“You’re looking at the proud new owner of a Ph.D. in physics!” You do a small cheesy spin as the rest of the team congratulates you, “Handed in my final thesis paper today.” Aaron smiles proudly as you move back to his side.

“Yeah that’s great and all but you’re still two Ph.D.s behind me.” Spencer can’t help but tease you. In the past year, he’s become one of your closest friends, especially since Aaron can’t even seem to begin to understand your thesis research.

“All right cool it kid.” You joke with him.

“Kid? I’m older than you.” Spencer laughs. Aaron comes closer to wrap his arm around your waist. The gesture is comforting and just this touch sends waves of pleasure through your body.

“Reid might have two more Ph.D.s than you but he’s got nothing on your good looks.” Prentiss winks at you.

“She’s got that right,” Aaron smirks as he kisses your cheek gently.

“Ok, ok, enough small talk.” You feel your face flush, “I came here to learn some cooking from chef Rossi, not talk about how hot I am.” You see Aaron roll his eyes with a smile and you pull him close as Rossi starts the demonstration.

“I love you so much, you know that?” Aaron has his arms wrapped around you from behind. He speaks softly so only you can hear.

“I know,” You smile, happiness flooding through your body, “I love you too.”

#criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #hotch x you #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner fanfiction #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x y/n #smut #ao3 #read on ao3

[thefirsttree]

A personal update + my next game

OK, time to do this. I’ve been meaning to do a big DAVID WEHLE™ update for a while now and explain why I haven’t released a new game yet, but you know how life gets in the way. Especially when life is a quarantine hellscape, you have three beautiful, amazing, exhausting kids to raise, a spouse’s job you support, a viral YouTube channel that turns your brain to mush, a thousand emails waiting in your inbox since your game is free on the Epic Games Store (with an impressive number of redemptions too! … meaning lots of emails and customer support issues), etc., etc. What also contributes to my lack of updates is because… I just don’t really like posting online. Fascinating correlation, I know!

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be a venting/ranting blog post (well, maybe a bit), because my life is seriously AMAZING and INSANELY BLESSED and LUCKY. I can’t believe how many dreams keep coming true, so much so that I feel I don’t deserve it and I really pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes… but I did want to at least be honest, because I owe that to myself.

Wow, where do I even begin? Well, how about we start with the reason I’m even a full-time indie game dev now: The First Tree. This small hobby project I worked on at night morphed into this gargantuan beast (or fox) that took over my life the past 5 years. Which is great! I’m living the dream! And yet, I really didn’t expect it to do as well as it did. At its core, my game is a slow-paced, sad walking simulator (ahem, I prefer the term “exploration game,” but you know what I mean) that somehow seemed to launch at the right time to the right audience. It resonated deeply with some of you, and for that I’m eternally grateful. I still get emails almost daily how my game changed their lives in some formative way. I’m beyond honored.

However, with that spotlight came criticism and demands from the ever-present, insatiable internet. I would randomly be surfing the gamedev subreddit trying to decompress, and I would see a comment by some rando saying how much I didn’t deserve my success, and how it was all one huge lucky fluke. And I believed them!

And to add to it, some devs considered me an indie marketing “guru”, which I was uncomfortable with. I worked hard to market my game every week, and after my GDC talk, people assumed marketing was my passion; the reason I got up every morning. Just to clarify… NO, I don’t like marketing, and I hate being the center of attention. I don’t like asking people for money and wishlists. But I did what was necessary because I was passionate about telling stories, and I wanted to give my story a fighting chance to be seen on the crowded pages of Steam.

So now, you’re probably wondering “well then David, why did you make fancy YouTube videos showing off your success? Not very modest if you ask me.” This honestly could be a long blog post all on its own, because my experience of putting myself in the spotlight and becoming a “content creator” is… complicated. It was an unusual step for me, especially since I never even showed my face online (as a game developer) until my GDC talk.

First off, I always wanted to teach and start a YouTube channel. I love video editing, especially since I’ve been doing it longer than making games! It’s a huge passion of mine. And teaching people who didn’t know they could make and finish games was a huge motivator (and it’s been so rewarding already). But the second reason is, I was scared. I was self-employed, and I was riding the success of a “huge lucky fluke” that would probably not happen again. I wanted to make sure I could provide for my amazing family, and give them food and health insurance and security in these tumultuous times. I was turning my lifelong passions and hobbies into a business, and it wasn’t as simple of a mental transition as I thought.

So, I went all in on YouTube and the accompanying online course called Game Dev Unlocked. I spent years editing the scripts and videos, and polishing them to a shine. At first, no one watched my videos, no one was buying… and in the blink of an eye, the YouTube algorithm picked up my main autobiographical video (“How Making Indie Games Changed My Life”), and I started getting 5,000 subscribers a day. Right now, I’m at 150,000 subs, which is still hard for me to believe. I always had a dream of earning 100k subs on YouTube, so I was pretty happy with the whole thing. Sales were OK, but mostly people didn’t want to buy the course. Then the emails came in…

Something you should know about me: I am a textbook “people pleaser,” and if someone asks for my help, I take it very seriously. If someone is mad at me, even if I didn’t do anything wrong, it’s all I can think about, and it ruins my day. So, taking an onslaught of people begging for help and multiplying that by an impossible amount of people for my brain to truly comprehend thanks to the internet… and let’s just say it wasn’t a healthy mix.

I received thousands of emails from people who were begging me for some kind of reassurance that everything would be OK. That their dreams would come true too. And I wanted to help every single one of them. I went from a nobody working on a game for fun to becoming a spokesperson for the indie game dream. I couldn’t even get a shake from the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru without someone recognizing me and asking for game dev advice. And it didn’t stop there… I would get emails from suicidal kids asking for help, teenagers from Afghanistan asking me to get them out of their country, and on one occasion I received an email from a hopeful game developer in a war-torn country who had just experienced a bomb blowing up their neighboring village. His friends were dead, and he was hoping he could finish a game before he died too, and he needed my help. How do you say no to something like that? Didn’t I owe it to everyone because I was lucky with my hit game and I needed to “pay it forward”? (Something people constantly reminded me of)

And then to top it off, after you’ve given everything you’ve got to other people in need… you get hate mail in your inbox. You spend the whole day serving your children and strangers on the internet, then when the kids are finally asleep, you hit the bed to relax and take a look at your phone to decompress, and you randomly come across an angry gamer in your Twitter mentions telling you your game they got for free sucks, and that you took away a potentially great game from them and that your apology isn’t good enough.

Long story short, I went to a mental therapist for the first time in my life. I was broken trying to care for two toddlers and a new baby in a pandemic (which is very, very hard), taking care of my course students who gave me their hard-earned money and demanded results, and the countless people begging for help on the internet. I was this introverted, internet-lurker trying to take on the weight of the world. I was so tired and hurt that no one cared about me and my needs… only what I could do for them.

Quitting my day job and making this hobby my full-time job has stirred up… mixed emotions. This statement may disturb some of you, but I was definitely 100% happier when I had a full-time job and I was working on my game at night. I missed working with the amazing team at The VOID, working on Star Wars… back when the success of my game was this abstract thing I could only daydream about. Mostly, I was making my game for me with no outside expectations to pay the bills or satisfy the ever-demanding internet, and that brought me a lot of joy.

It’s not all doom and gloom though! I’m actually very happy now and in the best shape I’ve been since the pandemic started. I’ve had to confront my weaknesses and personality quirks, but I’m a better person for it (and I’m sure these issues would’ve come out eventually). I hired an awesome community manager for Game Dev Unlocked who is helping SO MUCH with the emails, I can’t even tell you the mental burden it alleviates. I even leased a co-working office to help separate work from my home, and that’s been a huge help too. I’ve decided to work with my old friends from The VOID on a cool, new VR experience. It will take me away from my projects a bit, but I’m ecstatic to work with a great team again (and not manage anything, whew).

These are all things I would’ve never guessed I needed, because I thought I knew myself pretty well… turns out I didn’t.

The reality is: running a business is HARD. Running it solo is even harder. You have to remember, I was burnt out on The First Tree well into the Steam release in 2017, but I kept working on it for 4 more years due to my fears of failing again and not earning enough money for my family.

So, I was wrestling with the age-old concept of commercialism and art. There was this dichotomy of doing whatever I wanted and being true to my vision (what most people assume the indie dev dream is like), and doing only what customers wanted to buy. This is something that has killed me with YouTube… in one specific instance, I was super excited to make the exact video I wanted to make. I loved every part of its creation, and I thought it had a message that would inspire everyone. I lovingly edited it over several weeks, posted it, and excitedly waited for the stats… and it was by far my worst performing video.

This is not a new problem. Even the Sistine Chapel by Michelangelo was a commission forced upon him by the very violent Pope Julius II. My wife and I regularly talk about the fine balance between artistic integrity and commercialism, a problem she is very familiar with as an artist who constantly needs to balance what she wants to make with what the customer wants to hang up in their home.

For The First Tree, I was lucky. It was pretty much what I wanted to make (I had to compromise a lot of things of course), and it turned out millions of people wanted it too. Recently, I thought the safe business decision would be to do it all over again, so I started work on a spiritual successor to The First Tree (an idea that I may revisit one day since I do love the story idea). But that isn’t happening anytime soon. Trust me when I say I am now currently burnt out on animal exploration games.

So that realization left me with a question: what do I do next?

I’ve decided I need to make a game that I want to make, for me. It will be a bit different and I’m almost certain most fans of The First Tree will not love it… but it’s an idea that gets me super excited. It’s an idea that could help me fall in love with game development again.

A few more details: this game will be story-driven, first-person, and will use the Unreal Engine. That means development is gonna be slow going, because I have to learn a whole new tool. The “smart business” decision would be to make something quickly in Unity which I’m already familiar with… but I want to do this for me, and UE5 looks like a lot of fun. I’m also shooting for an early-ish release date so I avoid burn out and I keep the game short: I want to release it in Fall 2022, but knowing game development, it will probably take longer.

With the help of my therapist, I’ve also concluded that I’ve been too accessible on the internet and that my self-worth isn’t determined by the amount of people I try to help online. Of course, I love helping people and seeing them succeed, but I need to step back and focus on my family and myself. I will delete my social media apps on my phone (I will still post big updates occasionally) and stop responding to most emails, tweets, DMs, etc. It’s not that I’m ungrateful… in fact, if I don’t say thank you or at least acknowledge the incredibly nice people who share a sweet message about my game or want to tell me how I inspire them (still hard for me to believe, lol), I feel a ton of guilt… but I need to let that go. Please know I’m extremely grateful to all the fans who follow my work, so even if I don’t thank you directly, I truly mean it: thank you.

I will still post and stream occasionally on YouTube when I want to (and I still do live Q&A’s for my GDU students). The online course sales will help support my family as I work on a potentially risky game idea (and my new job will help alleviate the risk too). I’m gonna try one more marketing experiment and sell a mini-course soon (and add an Unreal section), and after that I’m done working on it. A gigantic thank you to the people who bought my course and are part of the amazing community, it has helped me and my family tremendously, and it’s inspiring seeing the games you make!

I’m a bit worried about the whole thing since this new game idea could flop, which could definitely affect my family. But a sappy, high-school yearbook quote is coming to mind…  I think it applies here: “A ship in harbor is safe—but that is not what ships are built for.”

Thanks for reading,

David

#gamedev #indie games #the first tree

[binxyu]

He was obsessed with the beauty of colors. Even if he could not see them without you, he adored the way they showed up on his canvas. His biggest fear was losing them and, with that, you. Too bad his biggest fear came true...

>>Pairing: Park Seonghwa (dom) x fem!reader (sub) ft. Jung Wooyoung | artist!seonghwa x photographer!reader

>>Word Count: 4.8k

>>Genre: Mini Series (Pt.2) / Requested / Smut & Angst

>>Warnings/Kinks: Arguments, begging, breast play, cumplay, fingering, hair pulling, marking, photographed nudity, praise, public sex/exhibitionism, size kink, spitting, and unprotected sex

<- previous part

The museum felt so dull and empty without Seonghwa’s works in them. It had been months and you had yet to see one new work from the artist.

You knew you should’ve moved on by now, especially due to your photography career soaring.

Everything was going perfectly. Everything but your love life.

Wooyoung was now just your friend and the person you thought was your soulmate was no where to be found.

The more you thought about it, the more you realized you missed Seonghwa’s touch and the spark it brought to your skin more than the color of his eyes. You just missed him.

Now, you were realizing that maybe colors weren’t as essential as you thought.

The auction had started hours ago in that same museum, your photographs up for sale among many art pieces. You had been struggling so much after your soulmate’s disappearance that your rent was way past due and the only option was to sell your work.

And what shocked you the most was that your old photographs were selling much faster than your new ones. The old ones that were entirely in black and white.

As you looked at them, truly analyzing everything about them, you realized why. Those photographs were candid, an ethereal way of showing your pain.

While they were dull to you, they told a narrative to everyone else.

“So, can you pay your bills now?”, a smile spread across your lips when you heard the familiar voice, turning around to see Wooyoung standing there.

He looked good. A suit on to hug his curves and his soulmate clinging to his arm. They really were perfect for each other.

Basically, the story of the two was that they were tied to one another by red strings and they had found each other while you were with Seonghwa.

It made you sorrowful when you realized that meant Wooyoung had known the entire time you weren’t meant to be together, but those feelings quickly disappeared when you saw how happy he was.

“Yeah, I might even have some money leftover for groceries”, you grinned and Wooyoung shook his head, patting your’s as he stared at the final photograph you had left after the auction was over.

It was your most recent work and you knew it was probably too dispirited to catch anyone’s attention. Yet, you still brought it with you. The meaning of the photograph was too important to not bring it along with you.

In the photograph, you were there with your back to the camera surrounded by items that you believe represented how heartbreak felt. The light of the sun was shining through the window on your curled up form and it looked awfully dull the more you looked at it.

A loveless life is dull.

“Buy yourself a nice meal then. Wait, get a good meal and then travel. You’ve been in Seoul your whole life. Maybe it’s time to get out of here for a while”, you had actually given that some thought. What was even keeping you here? Was it the idea that maybe you’d get Seonghwa back?

“I’ll plan a trip to Jeju soon. I’ve always wanted to take photos of the ocean there”, Wooyoung grinned from your words, thinking you were finally moving on with your life. The trip was more of a distraction than anything else, but it wasn’t entirely a lie. You had always wanted to take photos there.

“Want help getting the most affordable tickets? I know a guy”, there was that business man you had dated before. Wooyoung traveled all the time so of course he could find the most affordable pricing.

“No, I’m going to do this on my own. Thank you though. I’ll see both of you again soon”, the woman and Wooyoung nodded, giving you a small wave as you moved to leave the museum, your photo tucked in your bag to keep it safe.

However, something caught your eye and had you rooted to the floor.

There, hidden behind some of the tarps for the auction was a new painting. One with the initials PS on it.

You quickly moved to take a look, noticing quickly the familiar beauty and chaos that was your soulmate’s art style. In the center there was a girl and you immediately knew it was you.

Holding up your photo, it was almost an exact replica. The only distinct difference was that Seonghwa’s painting had hope in it. It was just another painting to everyone else, but you realized quickly that the tiny painting painted on the wall in the art was the one you made together.

Except, it seemed glued together. Like it had been ripped to spreads only to be put back together like a puzzle.

“Oh, Seonghwa. I’m so sorry”, before you could stop yourself, your fingers were tracing the painting, memorizing every edge. It was so despairing aside from that glued painting.

You snapped out of it and forced yourself to leave, slipping your photo back into your bag as you tried to contain your tears.

The walk to your apartment wasn’t a long one. You had purposely chosen one close to that museum because you knew that was where you belonged.

You opened the door, greeted by Bruce, your tiny Pomeranian you had been given. Wooyoung’s soulmate believed he was the key to getting over your loneliness and, while you loved the black and white fluffy dog, you weren’t exactly sure if that was true.

He barked and you crouched down to pet his head, watching as he smiled and tilted his head just so you could scratch the perfect spot. A laugh fell from your lips as you moved to sit down on your bed, setting up your computer on your lap.

“Want to go to Jeju with me?”, Bruce just barked and you took that as a definite yes.

Your plane had landed a few hours ago and you had quickly found your way to the beach once all of your belongings were in the hotel you were staying in.

Bruce walked beside you as the wind blew through your hair, the sound of the waves filling your ears.

As you approached the middle of the beach, you saw a man painting along the shoreline. His brush moved in quick strokes along the canvas as he stared out at the ocean.

It made you smile seeing someone else so deeply into art here.

Then, you realized why he had chosen this spot to paint.

The sun was setting and it was right at the spot the artist was looking at. The vast array of colors was right above the ocean.

You instinctively got out your camera and took a photo of it. You looked at the shot to see that you had accidentally gotten the artist in it and, while it did add some depth, you refused to take photos of others without permission.

As your finger hovered over the delete button, you felt eyes on you. You looked up to see the artist staring at you, your world suddenly going grey.

“Seonghwa?”, the name felt paradoxical. It was filled with sadness but also happiness.

The man’s eyes found your’s and both of your worlds were colorless.

Bruce tugged on the leash, snapping you out of whatever trance you were in.

“I missed you”, his voice croaked, tears welling up in his eyes as he looked you over. While he couldn’t see the color of your skin or the rosiness of your cheeks, he could tell you were doing well. You were healthy and that was all that mattered.

“Sorry”, it was all you could get out from the emotions clouding your thoughts. You turned to walk away, gripping the leash in your hand tighter as you tried to quickly get away.

You yelped when Bruce started running back, pulling you along with him until you were standing so unbearably close to Seonghwa. Your chest was almost touching his as your dog rubbed against his leg.

“Why are you trying to run again?”, you looked down at the sand below you. Seonghwa could finally see you in all your glory as the colors came back since you weren’t looking.

The only thing he couldn’t do was look into your eyes. That’s what he wanted most.

“I’m tired of running so I get it’s cowardly, but I don’t know what else to do. I’m just so confused”, you spoke honestly and looked up, trying to be brave and finally face your problems. Especially when the main one was right in front of you.

“I think I found some answers. I’m going to assume you saw my painting”, of course he would know you did. His painting flooded your head and you were thankful you took the time to memorize all its bold features.

“I did. Our painting?”, it felt wrong to say our in reference to the painting you two made while you were in love. It wasn’t like it was in your studio.

“Do you know why I glued it back together?”, you searched his eyes for an answer other than hope but you could not find one.

“Hope?”, Seonghwa chuckled and put his hands gently on your shoulders, looking for any sign that he should remove them before he continued.

“More than that, I found answers. It was a test. A test we sadly failed at first, but maybe there’s hope to pass it now”, Seonghwa bent over and picked up Bruce to keep him calm, petting the puppy’s head as he waited for your response.

“What test?”, the artist smiled and your heart swelled at how hopeful it was. He really wanted this to work.

“It’s a rare test that some people with our connection have to go through. We have to look past the outside and into the inside. Basically, we have to keep loving without the colors”, it seemed so simple coming from the man’s mouth. He seemed so excited and, yet, you couldn’t stop thinking about the ifs.

“Will we be able to see colors again? I don’t want to take that from you”, it was true. You could make it without them because your black and white photos sold faster than your colored ones but Seonghwa needed those colors in his paintings. He needed those brilliant shades in his work.

“Some got it back and others didn’t, but I can do without them as long as you’ll look at me”, his voice dripped with aggressive honesty, no room for argument on your side. You nodded as you let the information seep into your mind.

“Let’s start with this”, he pointed at Bruce and the dog licked his cheek, making you giggle. Seonghwa grinned when he heard the noise. He may have missed that most of all.

“That’s my son Bruce. My friend gave him to me”, you pat the dog’s head and Seonghwa nodded, stroking the puppy’s back before he set him back down on the sand.

“Try painting?”, the question made your head spin as you looked over at the easel, shaking your head immediately.

“I’m definitely not a painter. That looks way too good to ruin”, Seonghwa shook his head and took your free hand in his, walking you towards the place his art supplies were. There it was, that spark that went through you when you touched.

“If I do this then I get to teach you how to take a proper photo”, you put your pinky out and his hearty laugh made your cheeks turn redder, not that he could tell.

“Deal”, his pinky wrapped around your own and that was a promise made. The first of many.

“Okay, pick up a brush and let’s start”, you looked down at the many brushes along the bottom of the easel and you just grabbed one. You have never painted before and it really showed.

“Maybe not the biggest one I have”, he chuckled and took the big brush out of your hand, getting a much smaller one and putting it into your hand.

“Okay, lets try to paint around the sun”, Seonghwa gestured first to the painted sun he made and then the real one across the ocean. He purposely looked away so you could see the colors, forcing himself to keep his eyes off of you.

You collected a little bit of the lavender-tinted paint on his palette and started to paint. Seonghwa looked over at the canvas and chuckled, watching how messy you were making it.

“Like this”, he came up behind you and his big hand encased your’s, guiding you to smooth out the paint. His chest was pressed against your back and the last time you two painted together came back, causing your hand to shake a little nervously.

“You’re doing well. Don’t be nervous”, Seonghwa smiled and you should’ve known he would’ve thought your shakiness was because of the painting. Well, it was but not this specific painting.

“Okay, do we move onto the next color now?”, the man answered with a simple “yes” and he let go of you. While he enjoyed being so close to you, he did want to see you do it yourself.

You did exactly what Seonghwa had done before but with orange this time, the color reminding you of a tangerine as your brush moved across the canvas.

“It’s simple when you get used to it”, that comment made you laugh, turning to look at the man.

“Seonghwa... this is a sunset. The shit you paint is much more complex”, you shook your head and went back to painting despite the lack of color now there. He was staring at you.

“Did we go too fast? Is that why this happened?”, your eyebrows furrowed as you thought about it. You two really did go fast. As soon as you had found out your destiny, you dropped everything and ran off with Seonghwa despite not knowing much about each other.

“Do you think it’s a trick to get us to get to know one another?”, it sounded ridiculous coming out of you, but it did make sense.

“Probably. Does that mean nothing is wrong? We can still be together?”, you grimaced at the overly complicated question.

“I don’t know. We’ll figure that out I suppose”, you tried to get around giving him a definite answer because you truly didn’t know. The whole situation was so confusing and you had to curse the universe in your head.

The rest of your painting was silent. Seonghwa played with Bruce in the sand as you focused on the art. You were slowly realizing why the man loved painting so much.

It was peaceful and away from the harsh reality around him. He could create whatever world he wanted on this little canvas and there was no limits. No limits like you had created.

“Pretty good for your first go”, Seonghwa commented as he looked over your work. It was a tad bit more messy than if he had done it but it was impressive.

“I have a good teacher”, you teased and smiled, feeling proud of doing something out of your comfort zone.

Your entire life had been a routine of activities and places you were familiar with. Now, the world felt boundless. That’s how Seonghwa made you feel.

“Well, it’s your turn to be teacher now”, the man poked your side and you would’ve did it back if Bruce wasn’t desperately pulling on the leash.

“Come with us? I can once Bruce is back in the hotel. He’s tired of the outside now”, you chuckled as the puppy barked at you as if to agree. Seonghwa nodded and walked beside you down the beach and down the path to your hotel.

Once the dog was back in your room, you followed behind Seonghwa. He had mentioned a beautiful hiking trail not too far from here. You were realizing that he had probably been here the whole time. Maybe you weren’t the only one who had run away.

“So, what is your favorite animal?”, your head turned to look at the man, the question making you laugh softly. It was true that you didn’t know that about each other. Maybe this walk would be good to actually know one another.

A scream tore through your throat when you were thrown into the lake, your clothes clinging to your wet body.

You glared when your head returned to the surface, the freezing water biting at your skin. Seonghwa just laughed, waving your camera in the air like it’s just some flimsy piece of paper.

“Be careful with that!”, you scolded him and he immediately stopped, like a puppy that was found eating the furniture.

“Sorry sorry, but look how good it turned out!”, you swam over to the rock below him, leaning up on it like a mermaid peering up at her human prince.

He crouched down and showed you the photo. It was a photo of the exact moment your body had penetrated the water, the waterfall right behind you. It was beautiful.

“Now who’s the good teacher?”, you teased and Seonghwa moved to lay on the rock, looking into your eyes.

“You are. I genuinely love photography now”, he chuckled and it felt like the world had stopped as you look into each other’s eyes.

“It’s a screenshot but for reality”, you giggled and lifted yourself up with your hands, placing a little kiss on his forehead.

“Do you have anything I can change into?”, you asked as you realized your shirt was doing very little to cover your upper body now.

“Just take this”, he helps you out of the water and respectfully turns around, taking his hoodie off and passing it to you.

You put the hoodie on and it engulfed your smaller form, going down to your knees because of how oversized it was.

“Okay, you can look now”, Seonghwa nodded and turned around to face you, trying to hide his smile when he saw how adorable you looked.

“Ready to go back? It’s probably midnight now”, Seonghwa motioned to the moon shining above the trees. You stood there staring at it for a moment before you nodded, letting the man take your hand in his as he guided you along the path.

It was your last day in Jeju, a daunting knowledge that had you awake before even the sun rose. It had already been a week but you didn’t feel like it was enough time.

Your feet sinked into the sand as you hurried to try to get a clear photo of the sunrise.

You eventually found a bolder to set up on, sitting on the cold surface once your camera was out. It was so peaceful but also eerily quiet.

Well, until a certain someone found you.

“Hey, come to see the sunrise too?”, Seonghwa came to sit by you, his arm wrapped around you as if you were going to fall off the rock.

“Yeah, I was wondering how beautiful it must be if the sunset is as gorgeous as it was”, you nodded and felt a weight on your shoulders, the need to get everything out. To figure it out.

“Last day, huh? Aren’t you leaving in the morning?”, Seonghwa watched you nod and he pouted, that cute little pout that made your heart melt.

“Yeah. Actually, why don’t you come back with me?”, you looked at him, hope in your eyes ever present.

“I would but my friend is sick here. I have to be here”, so he didn’t run off. He was running to help someone in need.

You nodded understandingly, your mind trying to come up with something but only silence filled the air.

“Hey, before you leave, I wanted to ask something. Was there anything I could’ve said back then to make you stay?”, you knew what he was referring to. After the colors left, you had run off and drove to your apartment, not even looking back.

“Honestly... no. I was so confused and scared. I just wanted you to have it all and if that meant breaking your heart then I was okay with it”, a sigh left your lips, feeling guilt fill your stomach.

“I think I would rather be completely blind then lose you again”, the confession caught you off guard and you turned your entire body to face him.

“Like I’d ever let that happen”, you shook your head and Seonghwa cupped your face in his hands, looking over every feature he could. He wanted to remember it all when you were gone.

“Like I’d let you stop me”, he was so serious that it made you gulp, your heart pounding against your chest. He leaned in and finally closed the gap between you, his lips molding with your’s perfectly. Sparks erupted through both of your bodies and it caused your body to shake as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

His hands trailed down to your waist, waiting for any protest from you before he moved them to your ass, squeezing the skin under your panties. The dress you were wearing did the bare minimal of protecting your lower body from the man’s hands. Not that you minded one bit.

Seonghwa pulled away from the kiss, looking up at you as he pulled you into his lap. His expression was filled with so much raw emotion, nothing hidden.

“Do you want this? Do you want us?”, the second question lingered in your mind. How would this work? You had no idea. Especially when he was stuck on this island, but you knew what you wanted.

“Yes, I want you, Seonghwa. But, you have to keep painting. I need to see your work in the museum”, Seonghwa chuckled and nodded, pecking your lips as he snuck his finger into your panties, moving it up and down your slit to collect your wetness.

“Here’s the catch though, you’ll have to go to other museums to see them. Get out there, princess”, you huffed in annoyance and the man smiled teasingly. After a week, the black and white world became comforting. It was simply a sign that Seonghwa was only looking at you.

Maybe the world was black and white because colors would only distract you two from what mattered. It wasn’t how brown Seonghwa’s eyes were. It was how caring he was or how he made you laugh. That’s what is important.

Seonghwa pushed two of his fingers inside of you, scissoring your cunt open as his other hand lifted your dress up to reveal your breasts. He almost wanted to scold you for wearing no bra, but your breasts looked way too perfect under the moonlight for him to care.

A whimper sounded in your throat when his fingers started to hit that spot inside of you and you felt a cold substance on your chest. In the center of your torso, Seonghwa had spit and his tongue was now trailing up it to your breasts. His lips wrapped around the bud and sucked, only furthering your pleasure as you rocked your hips against his fingers.

It felt so perfect and right. Your bodies fit together like puzzle pieces and it oddly reminded you of the painting you two had made together. Glued together like a puzzle.

“You’re so beautiful and smart. You’re just amazing, okay?”, it was definitely more of a statement than a question but you nodded, a vibrant smile on your face. With Seonghwa, every insecurity felt minuscule. Nothing mattered but how you both felt with your bodies against each other.

“And you’re just as amazing”, a soft moan mixed with the words and that only made it more impactful. Only he could have you making those sounds.

“You want more?”, the gentleness of his voice made a shiver run up your spine. Not even the openness of your actions could bother you.

“Please, give me more”, he read your meaning loud and clear, taking his fingers out of you. It felt so empty without them there but you knew something better was coming.

He unzipped his pants, letting your dress fall back down. He pulled his jeans and boxers down, letting his cock free and your mouth practically watered at the sight.

He moved your panties too the side, in too much of a hurry now that the sun was finally riding. You spread your legs and sunk down onto his dick, your head falling back blissfully as it stretched you out.

“Shit, I forgot how big you are”, you whined, moving your head into his neck and he licked the skin of your neck before he started to suck on it. Without his real canvas here, he would have to recreate the artwork you two had made on your skin.

“And i forgot how tight you are. Wait, let me make sure”, you could practically hear the teasing tone in his voice as he bottomed out in you. His hand moved to lift your dress up a little, showing off the bulge in your tummy.

“There it is. Look how good you take it”, Seonghwa sounded so proud as he stared at it, moving his hips a little just to watch the bulge move.

“I only will take your cock. Only your’s”, it was so validating to hear you say that as your hands found their way into his hair, running through the messy locks, “you can move, baby”.

He didn’t need to be told twice, his hips moving up and down as you bounced on his cock. The angle from being on top had you already moaning, joyful tears welling up in your eyes as bliss overtook your body.

“Princess, look”, neither of your paces faltered as you turned your head to look at the sunrise. You smiled once you saw all the colors surrounding the sun. Light shun upon your bodies slowly and the warmth felt amazing.

“Wait! The photo!”, you looked over at your camera which was sitting beside you and you stopped bouncing to grab it.

“No, let me”, Seonghwa smirked and took the camera, holding it out to your side. Your bodies were perfectly in view of the lens and you blushed as he took the photo, your naked bodies now in your camera roll.

“Now, whenever you look at a sunrise you’ll think of me”, he grinned and you playfully slapped his chest before you took the camera and took an appropriate picture of the sunrise.

You put the camera down and looked at the man again, his eyes meeting your’s.

“Hwa...”, your voice faltered when you saw something unfamiliar.

Orange. Purple. Red.

Right on your soulmate’s skin.

“You- you see it too?”, the sunlight shining on both of your skin was now visible even if you were looking at one another.

“Yes! Fuck, you’re so pretty”, you couldn’t help but say, tears spilling down your cheeks as you took in everything about him again. The gentle tan of his skin, his rosey lips, and even the color of his veins.

Seonghwa’s thumbs gently wiped away your tears before he tugged on your hair to bring your lips to his, his hips slowly beginning to move again. You moaned in his mouth, rolling your hips to meet his as you felt his dick rub against your walls.

“I love you”, you whispered against his lips as you felt your orgasm building up. Seonghwa smiled, a beautiful smile you had missed in all its glory.

“I love you too”, his cock twitched inside of you and he started to rub your clit, your pussy clenching around him in response to the stimulation.

“Cum together?”, you asked, resting your forehead against his as you tried to catch your breath.

“Be together? No matter the distance?”, you didn’t expect him to answer with more questions, but you knew your answer to them and you knew his answer to your question.

“Always”, you nodded before you felt your orgasm run through your body, clenching around the man as your cum coated his cock.

Seonghwa had the decency to pull out of you, releasing on your thighs and stomach. He really was going to make you his new canvas.

His fingers smeared the seed on as much skin as he could get to and you giggled, shaking your head.

“All I know is that you better answer every single one of my calls after this”, you became painfully aware of the vulnerability of being seen now. Seonghwa chuckled and gestured to the ocean.

“And you better get that cum off of your skin before the early birds get here”.

#binxyu #seonghwa #ateez #ateez seonghwa #park seonghwa oneshots #seonghwa oneshots #seonghwa smut #ateez oneshots #ateez x reader #ateez smut #ateez seonghwa smut #ateez imagines #seonghwa imagines #park seonghwa #park seonghwa smut #kpop smut #kpop imagines

[pxnk-velvet]

congrats on the milestone !! can i get kuroo x reader to the song moments by alextbh ? ❤️

𝑀𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 [NSFW!]

.・ ✧。.・゜✧・.・✧・゜・.・ ✧。.・゜✧・.

𝐾𝑢𝑟𝑜𝑜 𝑇𝑒𝑡𝑠𝑢𝑟𝑜 𝑥 𝐹𝑒𝑚!𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

✧ word count :: 1.5k

✧ summary :: After a pretty bad break up, Kuroo finally gets the chance to tell Y/n how he really feels about her. Not only leading to confession of heart and mind, but body too. 

✧ warnings :: nsfw!, mentions of a breakup (not w/ kuroo), fluff, intended for mature readers only

✧ a/n :: This is my first time writing for Kuroo so I’m sorry if it doesn’t seem like him lol 😅 and as always reblogs and feed back are always appreciated. Come stop by the party and have some fun for a while!

.・ ✧。.・゜✧・.・✧・゜・.・ ✧。.・゜✧・.

It had already been weeks since Y/n had broken up with her ex, yet she was still experiencing repercussions. It felt like the pieces of her heart were scattered in her chest, in desperate need of being put back together. 

Her friends had suggested hooking up with another guy to get her mind off of things but inevitably she simply wasn’t the type to do so. Often developing feelings quickly and getting attached at the snap of a finger. 

It had taken so much of a toll on her to the point where it had begun to affect her academics. Her grades automatically plummeted right after her heartbreak and now she was having a hard time getting them back to where they used to be. 

Hence why she was now currently seated against Kuroo’s headboard while he sat in his desk chair by the edge of the bed. Open textbooks and notes scattered across the bed sheets, her head tucked between her knees as she groaned. 

“Why do I have to do so much work?” Y/n whined, setting her notebook beside her to stretch her legs out and rest her eyes for a bit. 

As her eyes were closed Kuroo’s trailed up the length of her legs, admiring how soft they looked, appreciating the fact that she didn’t wear tights today. Sporting only the cute little skirt that was part of the girls uniform. 

“Well for starters, if you hadn’t slacked off for so long then maybe you wouldn’t have fallen so behind?” He mused, picking up an inquisitive tone towards the end of his sentence. Softening the words, hoping they wouldn’t hit a nerve considering her situation. 

Since the day he had heard about what happened, he had done everything he could to help out. Granted that they had only been friends before hand, not nearly as close as they are now. But still, he worried for his team’s manager, his friend, the girl he cared so deeply for. He rode out his feelings hoping that they would dissipate while she was dating her ex, only to discover that he had simply fallen for her even harder. Now, he figured it was the perfect time to tell her how he felt. Using every opportunity he could make to spend time with her. 

“It’s not like I chose to be broken up with Tetsu…” Y/n muttered, turning away from him, curling her legs up to her chest, which was now starting to fill with the sad sinking feeling she was trying so hard not to acknowledge anymore. 

Ever since she had started spending more time with Kuroo, she had begun to actually appreciate time with him outside of volleyball. Getting excited, a giddy feeling bubbling in her chest whenever she realized she had a tutoring session with him. She wanted to be around him so often because he made her forget it all. Like she was herself again and not some heart broken girl that moped around all day. Yet she didn’t know if she was ready to pursue another relationship so quickly, still hesitant about making any moves. Hell, she didn’t even know if he actually liked her or if it was his usual flirtatious, friendly attitude. He truly was a good friend but that is what made it so hard to decipher. 

Little did she know he was essentially thinking the same thing, he wanted so badly to make Y/n his but he didn’t want to overwhelm her so quickly. He had spent countless nights laying awake, thinking about her. The way she walked, the way she talked, wondering what her lips felt like. Thinking about waking up next to her, making her breakfast in the mornings. Just spending time with her, he wanted to treat her right. Make moments with her that would last forever. Engraved in their hearts and minds, and hopefully, eventually seal it all with a ring. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-” He tried to apologize, placing his hand on her leg to get her attention. 

“I know, it’s fine. I’m just tired.” She sighed heavily as she turned back to him, sitting up to face him properly, “Like I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I know I’m over him but I just can't get rid of all these feelings swirling around in my chest and I don’t know what to do, Tetsu.” She spoke softly in hopes he wouldn’t hear the shakiness in her words as her eyes glassed over. 

In that moment, Kuroo thought long and hard in the matter of seconds. Was this his chance? That one opportunity, that one moment where he could finally change things for the better?

“Y/n,” He began, the confident demeanor he usually dawned all of a sudden gone, “I honestly don’t know if this is the right time to say this. And I totally understand if you’re not ready and never want to talk to me again but I just need to tell you. I think it’ll be better for the both of us.” 

As he spoke, Y/n’s heart rate began to pick up, suddenly hyper aware of how loud it was beating. Echoing in her head, trying to dismiss it as Kuroo continued. Yet someone how her mind was already jumping to conclusions, a million scenarios playing out in her head all at once. 

“Um- I, uh-...I like you a lot. I have for a while now. And obviously I’m hoping you like me to but, again, no pressure especially since you just got out of a relationship not too long ago and you might not be ready-” Kuroo’s rambling was interrupted by the feeling of warm, soft lips. 

A wave of euphoria took over his senses as he was pulled by the collar of his shirt to meet Y/n’s lips in the middle. The shock that was evident on his wide eyes immediately washed away, allowing himself to fall victim to the moment. A warmth growing in his chest realizing that he finally got to fulfill it all with her, every waking moment he had spent with her was all starting to make even more sense. 

Relishing in her touch, her presence. Savoring every time their lips would part and meet again in yet another passionate kiss. Her lips plush and sweet, tasting of her strawberry chapstick. 

Eventually, the books and papers that littered the bed earlier were long forgotten and scattered on the floor. The soft, gentle kisses had grown to ones of desire and lust, clothes being shed by the minute as Y/n and Kuroo became tangled in the sheets. 

It didn’t take long until they were pressed chest to chest, hands wandering as Kuroo’s lips trailed from her lips, nipping her jaw, eventually trailing lower to her neck. Paying extra attention to the column of her throat, noting the sultry moans that fell from her lips as he did so. 

“Y/n,” Kuroo abruptly pulled away from her, towering over her smaller frame, “Are you sure you want to do this? Because like I said before I don’t want to rush-” 

“Kuroo, do you really think I’d be naked under you if I didn’t?” Her voice dripping with sarcasm, correcting herself a second later with a softer voice, “But thank you for your concern. I appreciate you being so thoughtful.” A blush crept up her cheeks as her hands trailed up his broad chest, fingers tracing the strong muscles underneath. 

“Anything for you,” The captain’s head fell into the junction between her neck and shoulder, placing a chaste kiss on the warm skin, “Let me show you how long I’ve waited. To make moments like this with you. To treat you right and learn more than there is to know about you.” 

In that moment everything felt right, like this was exactly where they were both meant to be. Limps tangled as their lips met in another kiss. Driven by the growing tension that was rising between them, lust evident in every move they made. 

Soon enough, breathing became feathery and hot as Kuroo’s hips rocked into hers. His face buried in her neck as her hands clasped his back, little moon crescent marks and scratches littered across his shoulders. With a firm grip, he sat up, eyes wandering to where he clasped her hips. Admiring the divots his fingers imprinted as they dug into the plush skin, surely to leave pretty bruises for later. 

“Kuroo, I-” Y/n whined, voice just above a whisper, eyebrows knit together, desperate for release. He could tell she was close by the way her walls fluttered around his length, only enticing him closer to his own release.

“I know, cum for me. I’ve got you.” He sang out, gently cupping her cheek with his large hand, continuing to thrust up into her. 

He watched in awe as he drove her over the edge, face morphing to the pleasure rippling throughout her body. The muscles in her lower abdomen going taunt as they spasmed with her release. Mouth hanging open, a pretty drawn out cry leaving her lips as she peaked, triggering Kuroo’s own high. 

To which his body fell forward, again chest to chest with Y/n as he brought her in for a kiss. Taking in every shake and cry she uttered, all because of him. 

With his head on her shoulder, Kuroo caught his breath, arms snaking around her waist to bring Y/n impossibly closer to him as he embraced her tightly. 

“Thank you.” He mumbled against her skin, kissing it softly after he spoke. 

A giggle rang in his ears, “For what?”

He smiled, breathing in her scent and just soaking in her presence all together, “For making every moment worth waiting for.”

.・ ✧。.・゜✧・.・✧・゜・.・ ✧。.・゜✧・.

#pxnkvelvet’s party! 🥳 #pxnkvelvet::spice:: #haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader #kuroo scenarios #kuroo x reader #kuroo smut #hq kuroo #haikyuu smut

[pi-cat000]

BNHA: Kakashi dimension hops crossover (1)

Summary: Kakashi gets dumbed into the My Hero Academia universe through random plot devise.

Characters:  Kakashi Hatake

Fandoms: My Hero Academia and Naruto

WARNINGS: Mentions of violence/injury

Inspired by Unforeseen Mayhem by Aerugonian 

Here is their tumblr (all their work is so good)

(NEXT)

...

Kakashi thinks he might have died. He remembers the flash of steel and Obito’s face or maybe it had been Madara. His memory of the events leading up to the attack are hazy after receiving one too many hits to the head. What he does remember is the slowly spinning, hypnotic red of a Sharingan, and the quick build-up then explosion of chakra.

Then there was excruciating pain in his left eye and…darkness…

…

Kakashi opens his remaining, usable eye to gaze up at tall angled structures that stretch into a grey overcast sky. He can’t feel the left side of his face, his limbs are numb and unresponsive, and there is the damp of blood soaking through his hair. The bone-deep ache of chakra exhaustion is so all-encompassing that he can barely lift his hand let alone stop the bleeding. Around him, there are several people yelling in shock and surprise. Civilians he vaguely notes as he clings to consciousness. There is no sign of Madera, Obito or any of Kakashi’s allies for that matter.

When his vision dims for a second time he thinks that this, this would be his last breath. Alone, severely injured, in a foreign location and with only civilians as help? It was a death sentence.

He is wrong in the end.

…

Kakashi wakes up in a strange hospital bed surrounded by the strangest people he has ever seen. He also wakes up covered in bandages, his more serious injures either treated or in various stages of recovery.

The air is dry with a distinct lack of chakra. It is something he would usually only see in a prison cell made to contain dangerous shinobi in which chakra draining fuinjutsu arrays were applied to the walls and floor. There are no fuinjutsu arrays here. This is not a prison cell. For one, there is a large window. Secondly, there is a constant stream of doctors, nurses and other patients moving in, out and around the building. Finally, the door to the room is not locked. It doesn’t even have a lock.

After memorising the comings and goings of the people working in the strange hospital, he takes some time to scout. Even while injured and drained of chakra, he has enough skill and experience to avoid the workers and other sickly people he shares his room with.

 The world outside his window is one of cement, concrete and brick, with tall imposing structures covered in reflective glass standing higher than any building he has seen before. The closest point of comparison he has are the buildings in the Hidden-Rain and Stone villages but even those are a loose approximation. The hospital is both similar to Konoha’s main hospital, abet a lot bigger and full of strange equipment and technology. The people, despite their lack of chakra, display odd and inconstant abilities, techniques and physical deformities. One of the doctors has a lizard tail and he catches a glimpse of a man with a wooden block for a head. He sees a woman heal a cut with a simple hand wave. Either he is in an unusually elaborate and detailed genjutsu or he is very far away from Kohoha.

Everything is so odd and strange that he is well and truly stumped, leaving him with nothing else to do but quickly return to his hospital room. At least the weird chakra-less people are non-hostiles and willing to provide much needed medical attention. Though he is, as of yet, uncertain about the purpose or motive behind said medical attention seeing as he was a complete unknown to them.

After some consideration, Kakashi decides to wait. He has no idea how he ended up in the place aside from a loose theory that involved his still healing Kamui Sharingan. Additionally, there was no use trying to get back home with stab wounds, his leg broken, his ribs cracked, his shoulder muscles torn and his chakra levels so pathetically low that he’d probably kill himself if he tried.

He takes solace in the fact that his presence, while probably missed to some extent- he likes to think so anyway- wouldn’t impact the outcome of any major conflict. With Naruto’s stubbornness and Sakura’s tenacity, home would be waiting for him, even if he took a bit of time getting there.

…

After a week of information gathering -ie pretending to be unconscious and listening to conversations- Kakashi concludes that the people operating the hospital are relatively harmless. They seem to be under the mistaken impression that Kakashi is a citizen of their village and thus automatically entitled to medical attention. This is despite his lack of identification or history with the place. Such a thing would never happen in Konoha as even civilians were carefully monitored and tracked. Without identification or relatives/friends to vouch for them, a civilian would more likely be thrown out of the village than given what was surely resource-consuming medical treatment. It is lucky for him that there are apparently so many civilians in this village that their shinobi-equivalent forces couldn’t properly keep track of them all. Another point in favour of it not being any sort of hidden-village or any place he was familiar with.

 “Oh, thank goodness!” Says the greying, middle-aged man in a white coat as he approaches Kakashi's bed, “You’re finally awake. How do you feel.”

“Ah…a bit tired,” Kakashi plasters on a confused smile, raising his undamaged hand to rub the back of his head, hunching his shoulders for good measure. The perfect image of a disoriented patient.

 “What happened? Where am I?”

There was only so much he could achieve be pretending to be unconscious and snooping around at night. It was time to get a real feel for residents of this strange place and figure out his next move. This meant integrating into the local culture.  

“No need to worry. You’re in Hosu General Hospital and you’re well on your way to recovery,” A nod and the doctor moves forward to stand beside his bed, “A little drowsiness is a normal side effect of the pain medication we have you on. Now, if I may have your name?”

“Kakashi.” If they hadn’t recognised the Sharingan when they had bandaged it up, then they most likely wouldn’t recognise his name either.

“Well, Kakashi,” The man says with no hint of acknowledgement, “My name is Wada Yasutoki and I’m here to make sure you are recovering properly. Can you tell me if you are feeling any discomfort or pain at the moment?”

“Hmmm…my arm and leg?”

“Would you be able to rate it on a scale of 1 to 10?”

Kakashi thinks for a second and shrugs, “3.” Honestly, he only notices the pain when he’s consciously paying attention.

Another nod and Doctor Wada fusses about, examining the bandages around his shoulder and then his leg, “Well, they seem to be healing as well as any broken limb, maybe even a bit faster. And the stab wound near your chest is almost completely gone.” A thoughtful hum follows the statement. “If not for your left eye I would say you had a healing or regeneration quirk…hmmm…maybe a passive healing factor linked to your quirk…?” Wada looks to him, waiting for confirmation and Kakashi shrugs. From his nightly snooping he knows that ‘quirk’ is the term for the bloodline ability things the people here had.

The Doctor doesn’t press the matter instead asking, “Is there any discomfort in the left side of your face?”

“No.” Kakashi doesn’t want the people here touching his eye any more than necessary. The fact that it is draining charka at its usual sluggish rate was a sign that it was, at least, somewhat functional and that’s good enough for him. He guesses he should be thankful for landing in a place with medicine advanced enough to save it.

“You had us concerned when you didn’t wake after we saw to all your injuries,” The Doctor continues, “Your left eye took quite a bit of damage and we were worried that there might have been some sort of brain injury. If you feel dizzy, lightheaded or confused please, do not hesitate to call a nurse.”

The man shakes his head and sighs, “Now, I understand if you want a bit of space after going through such a traumatic event but if you could provide any details concerning the predicament that ended with you so badly injured it would be a great help to the investigation.”

Kakashi gives a faked confused hum and smiles apologetically, “Sorry Doctor Wada. I'm having trouble remembering much of anything really.”

“Nothing? No details about the potential assailant at all. What they look like? Their quirk?”

“No. Where is Hosu General Hospital by the way?”

His bland expression obviously causes his doctor some concern as he is subjected to a penlight being shone in his uncovered eye.

 “It is located in Hosu City, a ward of Tokyo. Where is the last place you remember being?”

The names mean nothing to him.  Kakashi schools his features into one of complete confusion, “I don’t remember.” 

It’s not even a lie this time. 

After the admission,  Doctor Wada only grows more concerned and Kakashi is subjected to many reassurances that it is completely normal to forget a few things after a brain injury and that he shouldn’t worry himself too much. The level of comforting and reassuring is a bit much if he is being honest. Never before has he longed for the cold frowns of  Konoha’s medic-nin.

“I’ll have to schedule you in for an MRI. If you’re having trouble recalling basic facts alongside your long-term memories, then there might a serious problem.” The older man finally concludes, having run through an extensive list of questions regarding Kakashi’s history all of which he answers with vague half-truths.  Where did he grow up? Somewhere with a lot of trees. Did he have any close relatives? He thinks they might have died when he was little. What does he do for a living? Commission work. Did he have any colleagues? He doesn’t know where they are. So on and so forth.

“It’s a shame your ID and phone were missing when they found you. Stolen by the bastard who put you in this situation no doubt,” the Doctor sighs again, “We might have been able to track down your records. Oh well, we’ll do our best with what we have.”

Kakashi doesn’t speak, pretending to be deep in thought. Mentally, he pats himself on the back for an infiltration gone surprisingly well considering his lack of preparation and the flakiness of the ‘sorry I don’t remember my backstory’ excuse.

“I don’t suppose you remember anything about your quirk,” the doctor asks, “Ocular quirks can have odd effects on brain activity and ability to process information. It might give us a place to start.”

From what he had seen, ‘quirks’ tended to have a specific function but he is still trying to figure out their limits. All he knew for sure was that none of them used chakra.

“It’s called the Sharingan.” He offers to see what the doctor does with the information, “I don’t remember much else about it.”

“Hmmm, ‘copy wheel eye’…it’s a descriptive name at least. Maybe a quirk that deals with memorisation or information recall. I will see if I can find it on the Quirk Registry. Hopefully, that will be enough. ”

Kakashi nods loosely in agreement, filing away the fact that there was a Quirk Registry for later contemplation. 

(NEXT)

#bnha #bnha fanfic #mha #hatake kakashi #hero killer arc #crossover fic #dimension travel AU #culture shock #boku no academia #naruto #kakashi headcanons

[travellingarmy]

║Diluc║Found You 2

A continuation requested by someone on Wattpad.

Be warned: This could absolutely be a sh**y post.

Word count: 2.7k

---

All felt like a dream when he had taken you away from your home. It was a slip through the day like wind passing through a blocked off cave of old. So now, you were going back home-- your true home, Mondstadt, and in Dawn Winery.

"Do you need anything? Snacks, clothes, collection items-- anything?" Diluc asks, sitting beside you on the sofa as wood in the fireplace crackle under the fire that lit up part of the room. "I'm okay," you answered, smiling.

Diluc, ever since you've returned, has stayed at a good distance from you so that you would never disappear from him again. He knew that when he took you from Fontaine, it was kind of abrupt and that your father would be out to get you, most likely knowing where you are hiding. So, for the time being, you two were staying at a luxurious inn within Liyue.

It was close to Mondstadt which does sound like a horrible place to stay, being that since it is the neighbouring nation, your father would send people to Liyue. However, that is why you two stayed there. If your father does send people to Mondstadt and did not find you there, he most likely will not assume that you are in Liyue since he would think that it is a foolish idea.

"Let's just stay like this for a while," you said, leaning on his shoulder and closing your eyes.

Your thoughts wandered. If your father does find you, there was no way in Teyvat will you let him drag you back to that gloom of a home, wanting to try and fight for yours and Diluc's happiness. You know that you can't hide forever and that this was simply a mean to by time-- to take a rest until you decide to face your father.

And so, why did you leave home? The word 'gloom' has most likely stood out.

You left home after your father became that of a tyrant in the house, when your mother had fallen out of love with him, and you couldn't stand his new persona-- always shouting and even starting to slap you at the littlest of mistakes that he used to brush off. He would even have someone monitor you and report everything to that man, giving you that feel of lost freedom.

That progressed to worse treatment when he started to see you not as his child but an object. Everytime he saw you, he remembers your mother and that would get him riled up.

When he knew that you ran away, he was furious. You are to bend to his wishes as his child, no? That is what plagues his mind.

Originally, both parents were to have a split custody, but she lost even that half the authority, given how much money your father bribed to keep you as a way to make your mother regret.

"Hey, (Y/N)?" Diluc calls your name, gently putting a hand over yours. You dismissed your thoughts and hummed to his call. "What is it, Diluc?" you ask softly, eyes still closed, feeling have tired.

"I am sure you're thinking about your father, so this may sound that I am prying into your life.." At that, you understood as to what he was leading on, and you were kind of expecting it, seeing as you didn't tell him anything. "I don't want to pressure you into telling me so I'll wait until you want to.." he adds, rubbing his thumb on your hand.

"Mn.. Thank you," you said. It was a long journey to Mondstadt and with the many stops to avoid encountering any of your father's servants, it tired you out honestly.

-

It takes a couple months to travel from Fontaine to Mondstadt, but added a couple weeks hiding in Liyue. You didn't feel as if you were truly hiding though-- you and Diluc stroll around Liyue, completely out in the open, but there were many people so that you two won't stand out.

During that time, Diluc took you out to dinner and bought you anything that you wanted, even tossing in things that he thinks you might like and the stuff that you eyed for a little longer to not be considered as a glimpse.

"Diluc, there really is no need to buy me these," you hastily said, trying to reach the item in his hands which he switch to the other to make it further away from you. "It's fine. The money I earned from Dawn Winery and the tavern won't stop," he said, quickly paying it so it left you no room to dissuade him.

Life was like that for a while until a letter from the head butler of Dawn Winery sent an emergency letter through Diluc's bird, saying that there were two people loitering around Dawn Winery who look like they were from Fontaine, seeing their unique clothing.

The letter wrote that they have been watching the winery and not leaving when forced to.

"I don't think it's time to go back just yet. We'll just tire them out," Diluc said, referring to the Fontainians, as he scans through the letter.

The next day, was that of any other day, but what you didn't expect was to see your father in Liyue.

Seeing as his head was turned to somewhere else- most likely searching for you as he passes by Liyue- you took it as a chance to drag Diluc into one of the stores, hiding behind one of the shelves inside.

"(Y/N)?" He calls, but then looks at where you were staring at and knew what was happening. "You saw your father, didn't you?" he asks and you nod.

You guessed that he couldn't wait for a couple more months to hunt down for you and that is why he is personally finding you, finally standing up from his stupid chair in his office.

"He's most likely going to Dawn Winery.." Diluc states, narrowing his eyes at the people outside.

You were off in your thoughts, dwelling on decisions to be made hastily. Have you been prolonging the search that long now? As much as you didn't want to face that man, you had to someday because there really aren't much places to hide in Teyvat-- aside from the land of sinners, Khaenri'ah.

You look out the window, now seeing your father gone from the spot he once stood. Sighing, you and Diluc walked out of the store, but didn't dare put your guards down as you made your way back to the inn. Just because he wasn't in your sights doesn't mean he has fully left Liyue.

His eyes were that of a hawk and there is no way he wouldn't see you even amongst the wave of people, and he has other eyes just in case he does miss you.

You two only relaxed once back in the safe zone, deciding to not stroll around for a couple of days and only letting Diluc run errands since he most likely wasn't one to be recognized to be with you.

During those days, there have been a brief exchange of letters through Diluc's bird. The letters also included one from the Knights of Favonius' Cavalry Captain, Kaeya, saying that a nobleman from some place off was being a hassle in the city. And with the level of intellect that the knight holds, he deducted that it had something to do with Diluc's absences at the tavern.

Then, one night, when you and Diluc were sitting comfortably on a sofa, you spoke, "Diluc, I think we should go back." You intertwined your hands with his, feeling warm throughout your body.

You gulped back fear of your father and decided to face him. There was no way will you ever let yourself be dragged back to that house of his.

And so, the travel to Mondstadt took no less than a day and was soon facing Dawn Winery-- the only place you called home.

"Master Diluc, welcome back," the head maid, Adelinde, greet. Diluc's eyes darted to the maid and immediately asked for a report about what happened in Mondstadt while he was gone.

"The Knights of Favonius has been trying to please a group of foreigners for the past days," Adelinde answers. "A particular man was searching for a person named (Y/N) and has been causing trouble for the knights."

Diluc's eyes befell on you, getting your attention on him. Then, "Where is this man right now, Miss Adelinde?" you ask straightly, facing the maid.

"Ah, they are still within Mondstadt's walls," she answers.

With that, you look towards Diluc and gave a firm nod to reassure the male of your decision. You knew of Diluc's worries and fears from the past days spent together. He was afraid that you would leave again, but just didn't quite express it.

Seeing your determined look, he nods and the two of you walked to Mondstadt, soon being greeted by the Cavalry Captain. "Master Diluc, why the frown? Here I thought you had a wondrous time being away from your work for so long," Kaeya states, still able to pull a sly smile. "You know.. The knights were having quite the time as well, trying to--"

"Sir Kaeya, could you speed this up and tell me where that nobleman is right now?" Diluc cuts off, his eyes narrowing at the sight of the captain.

"Oh, so you're well-informed even when you are gone," Kaeya says. "I'm sure one of your servants filled you in about that nobleman already, so if you are looking for him, he's at the headquarters talking to the Acting Grandmaster, saying that if we ever found their child, we should send him a letter." With that, Kaeya's eyes narrowed on you, knowing full well of who you were. After all, you, too, were a foreigner to Mondstadt well before-- he just had to connect a simple series of dots.

You, however, remained silent and paid no mind to the male. "Alright, we'll be off," Diluc says, holding your hand and walking off towards the headquarters.

Just as you two set foot on the final set of stairs, you see an all too familiar man stepping out from the headquarters. However, you weren't jolted with fear anymore, gripping onto Diluc's hands tightly.

It didn't take long for your father's eyes to meet yours, a hint of anger on his face. But since you were with another person, he had to calm down as to not have a bad impression. He was still a businessman after all and seeing how well-dressed Diluc was, he knew he was someone of the same level as he was.

"(Y/N), is that you?" he played off, asking with a forced smile on his face that would make one want to punch him.

"Drop the act, I know why you're here," Diluc steps in, eyes cold for a man who wields pyro. Hearing this, your father frowns and cursed you in his head.

"Alright, since you know why I'm here, why don't you hand me my child back?" the man said.

"I'm afraid I won't let you, sir," Diluc said, which just upset the old man further. "I don't think you have the right to say this. I am their father and as their father, I have the right to take them home," your father said.

"They may be your child, but they are at the matured age to decide what they want to do with themselves. I believe that you have no power to control them anymore," Diluc asserted firmly.

"Who do you think you are!?" your father suddenly booms, anger masking his face read. "Don't you know who I am!?"

"No, I do not. But let me ask you this, do you know who I am?" Diluc asks. Your father huffs. "Why do you matter?" he shots a question back.

"I am well aware of your status in Fontaine, but none of that matters to me," Diluc said. "I'm sure you suspected as much, but I hold the most power in Mondstadt just as you hold in Fontaine."

"But you are in Mondstadt and have no backing whatsoever, making you at the bottom," he continues. "Under me, you can't take them away from here."

Your father clench his teeth at the words thrown at him. He was suppose to have control over you, right? Again, this is what's plaguing his mind, but what can he do? It was true that he was nothing but a foreigner. However, he was still planning on getting you back home so with that said, he lunges at you, ordering the people who serves him to catch you.

Diluc put an arm in front of you. He was ready to use his pyro vision, but was still wavering to use it against another human being.

Luckily for him, instead of having your father be burnt to death, ice blocked you two from your father. "Oh~ who knew that you were this man's child," Kaeya steps in, pretending to not know anything even though you were already aware. "And, Master Diluc, you must know you can't harm others with our visions. It will make a bad impression of our nation."

"Kaeya.. What are you doing here?" Diluc grumbles. "Oh, you know, just thought that the Acting Grandmaster might need me soon~" he openly tells a lie, then turning towards your father. "I'm sorry, sir. I'm sure your hands are numbing due to being locked in ice, hm?"

"Remove my hands from these!" your father shouts. "Ah, but only when I'm sure you won't harm another person. I'm a knight and as a knight, I have to protect others." Kaeya shrugs, looking quite smug with himself, earning your father to growl.

But still knowing he was furious, Kaeya released him from the ice. "I'm sorry to intrude in your family business, but I might have overheard the conversation," Kaeya said, looking from you to the vieux riche.

"What do you want? I don't think you were ever part of this business," you father spat at Kaeya. However, he remained calm-- clearly unfazed by such small talk. "I'm sorry, sir, but I don't think you have the right to take our citizens forcefully," Kaeya said.

"Citizens? They're not even from here!" he shouts angrily, showing a clenched fist at the captain. "Oh? They're not? Huh, now, I may be wrong- which I highly doubt- but I am sure they are Master Diluc's lover, yes? So to say, lovers should be in one place," Kaeya said, closing his visible eye and holds a pointing finger as he speaks.

You notice your father about to lunge at Kaeya, but before he could do that, Kaeya's eyelids open and revealed a cold gaze. "Sir, you have been quite the handful lately. I think you best be off to the safety of your nation. We Mondstadtians won't just idle by and watch, you know?" Kaeya said, his gaze making your father seem small.

With one more mean look, your father fled from Mondstadt altogether in fear of being locked in prison in Mondstadt, never to return in search of you.

"I could have handled that, you know?" Diluc states, eyes boring through Kaeya like a knife. "I know, but I wanted to step in, in fear of you burning that man alive~" Kaeya shrugs. "Well then, I'll be off now~" Kaeya turns around and walks away, hand up in the air as a mean of a wave.

Silence soon fell-- a comfortable silence, of course. You felt relieved and your heart felt lighter at the fact that your father was never going to show up in front of you again. You would have picked a fight, but Kaeya stepped in. Nevertheless, you were grateful since you might've been the one to kill your own father.

"Then, shall we be off?" Diluc spoke, hands intertwining with yours. You look away from the direction Kaeya walked off to and smiled at Diluc, nodding. "I want some rest," you said, earning Diluc to smile.

"Sure. Let's go home."

---

#diluc ragnvindr x reader #diluc x reader #diluc #diluc fluff #genshin impact #genshin impact oneshots #genshin #genshin impact x reader #oneshots #kaeya

[theoreticslut]

“Please tell me what’s wrong”

pairing: ron weasley x reader

 requested: yes (by @justmesadgirl)

word count: 3.1k

warnings: angst, a bit of fluff

A/N: Thank you for the request!! I hope it’s to your liking! I think I made it a bit more angsty and not as fluffy, but I think it’s kinda cute anyway. I’d say it has a sweet, fluffy-ish ending, but let me know what you think! I’ve got a few more requests that I’m trying to work on to get out here, but I’m not going to say that they’ll definitely be up sometime this weekend. ideally, I’d love to have them up before monday, but this week is just not very conducive for writing. I’m back to classes for another two weeks, I’m not actually home this week, and I’ll be working most of the day saturday, so hopefully I’ll be able to have these few requests up before the end of next week, but I’ll let you guys know more as I figure it out. Thank you to everyone who reads my work and who follow me! I seriously can not believe all the feedback and attention my writing has gotten, not to mention how I have just over 500 followers?! Just thank you so much! Don’t be afraid to message me any questions you may have or any requests. You can always check out my prompt list for any ideas!! Love you guys Xx

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^let me know if you’d like to be added/removed! Xx

You frown as you look down at your watch - 1:30. Ron was supposed to meet you at quarter to one outside the castle so you could both go to hogsmeade. It’s been nearly an hour now that you’ve been waiting. In the cold and snow no less.

You sigh, giving up. If he hasn’t shown up by now, or at the very least sent someone to update you on his whereabouts, you were sure he wasn’t going to show.

Trudging your way back to your common room, you have to do everything to keep from crying. You and Ron have been dating for just over 2 years now and just within the last three or four months he’s been becoming more and more distant. You try to keep your doubts at bay, but it’s proving to be more difficult than originally thought.

You’ve wondered if he’s gotten tired of you, maybe. Two years is quite a lot of time to be with someone, and you weren’t necessarily the best girlfriend. You tried your best, but sometimes your best isn’t enough.

You’ve wondered if maybe he has something going on personally, but you hadn’t noticed any other changes in his behaviour. He hasn’t been excusing himself from any situations, he hasn’t acted any differently with Harry, Hermione, or any of his siblings. He’s only been distant with you.

That’s what made you wonder if he was breaking up with you, or worse cheating. The idea terrified you and made your heart ache beyond belief, but you couldn’t help but wonder. Why else would he be distant with only you?

“Y/n? What are you doing out? You’re covered in snow.”

You look up at your boyfriend who’s looking perplexed. You frown, hurt but finding yourself getting angry with the redhead.

“Did you forget, Ron?” You ask, annoyance written all over your face.

“Forget?”

“You said we would go to hogsmeade today. I’ve been waiting outside for nearly an hour, Ronald.” you spit.

You can see him realize exactly he bad he’s screwed up, but you couldn’t care to empathize with him. He’s been forgetting his plans with you everytime you turn around. It honestly feels like he just doesn’t care to remember, like your just some acquaintance that you tell ‘yeah, well hang out’, but you don’t truly plan on it.

“Y/n....I am so sorry. Hermione was helping harry and I-“

“Just forget it, Ron. I don’t really care at the moment. I’m cold and tired.” You say, sniffling and you hope he thinks it’s just due to the cold and not the fact that you’re ready to cry.

“Let me make it up to you.” He pushes, stepping in front of you before you can walk away.

“Please. We can still go today if you’d like? And I can buy you a butterbeer or two and anything you want from Honeydukes. Yeah?”

You sigh, happy at the effort but you really don’t feel like going now.

“Thanks Ron, but I don’t really feel like it anymore.”

He sighs, trying to read your expression, but you won’t look at him. You don’t want him to see how hurt you are.

“Alright, beautiful. I really am sorry and I plan to make up for it. Let’s get you back to the common room for now, yeah? You can take a nice, warm shower and then get dressed in some warm clothes. Maybe we could watch a movie afterwards?”

“Yeah, alright. Let’s do that.” You mumble.

~.~

True to his word this time around, Ron put on a movie for you, except he had to ask Harry and Hermione to join. It’s not that you weren’t glad to hang out with them, but you really just wanted to know that you and Ron were okay. You wanted to know that he still loved you.

Right now, you really weren’t sure. You two were sat next to each other and you had started the movie cuddling, but he had long ago removed himself from you and now sat a good few inches away.

You sigh, looking down at your hands as you play with them. Your anxiety is starting to act up again and you need something to do to focus, something that won't draw you unnecessary attention.

Harry notices this and nudges your knee with his foot. You look up at him, surprised that anyone was interacting with you.

“Are you alright?” He whispers, giving you a concerned look.

You nod, you go-to answer to keep people happy and prevent having to explain all that’s running through your head.

“Honestly?” He asks, giving you a pointed look.

“Yeah, Harry. I’m fine.”

He nods, not for one second believing you, but not wanting to push you either. Not now.

You try to pay attention to the movie once more, but you’re quickly consumed by your thoughts again.

~.~

“Ron?”

“Ron?” You ask a little louder this time when he didn't answer you the first time.

“Hmm?” he hums, absentmindedly.

You sigh, mumbling a ‘never mind’ when you realize he’s not paying attention, too absorbed with whatever he’s doing. At one point he used to never be able to pay attention to anything but you. You’re not sure when exactly everything changed, but you weren’t really happy with it.

Harry and hermione watch you two, sharing a look but not daring to say anything. They’ve noticed that things have been getting rocky between the two of you, and weren’t really sure why.

~.~

You frown as you watch Ron and hermione banter back and forth. You and hermione were trying to get your homework done in the library when Ron had joined you, sitting down beside you and hanging his arm around your shoulders.

“Ron, will you go please? Y/n and I are trying to work.” Hermione huffs, rolling her eyes at the redhead.

“Fine. I see how appreciated I am.” He pouts, smiling at hermione. He looks to you and his smile falters, seeing how upset you look. He’s not sure if you’re upset that he’s here or if you’re just stressed, but his smile falters either way.

You take this as a sign that he’s guilty of something with hermione which only makes you frown more. He rarely smiled at you anymore and it upset you. What had you done to make him so distant?

“Alright. I’m going, then. I love you, beautiful. See you when you get back, yeah?” He asks, kissing you as he stands.

“Yeah, love you.” You mumble, kissing him back, but not feeling it.

He nods, looking between the two of you sadly before walking away. He’s noticed how you’re always seeming down lately and he truly has no idea what’s caused this.

“You okay, y/n?” Hermione asks, watching as you stare at your paper.

“Yeah. ‘M fine, ‘mione.”

“Are you sure? You’re always looking upset, even more so whenever Ron is around. What’s going on with you two?”

“Nothing. We’re good, ‘mione.”

“Stop lying, y/n." hermione sighs, closing her textbook so her total attention is on you. "What is on your mind?”

You sigh, gently closing the book your using, but making sure to mark the page you were on. You didn't want to have to go looking for it again and it'd make a good escape when you wanted the conversation to end.

“Has Ron said anything about us to you, 'mione? He’s always talking with you and looking so happy, a-and he doesn’t with me. Not anymore. I just, Have I done something to make him not love me anymore?” You ask, your voice breaking a bit.

"No, he hasn't said anything to me. Maybe to Harry, but not me." She states, not quite understanding where all of this is coming from, but feeling sorry nonetheless.

"And you guys haven't...done anything together?" You ask, feeling like you might be sick.

“No...? I mean I'll help him and Harry study sometimes and I'll get them out of whatever trouble they get into, but I've always done that."

"Alright, well, thanks 'mione."

"What is all of this about? You don't think he loves you anymore? And what? Are you worried he's cheating?"

You sigh, not looking up at your best friend. She had pinpointed your exact worries and you didn't want to confirm that yes, that is what you're worried about. You didn't want to come across as insecure or anything like that.

"Is he?" you ask timidly.

“Is he cheating? I certainly hope not! But no, he’s not cheating on you with me I can promise you that. I would never allow it. You’re my best friend and I don’t care if I was head over heels for him, I would never get with him if I knew you two were together.”

“You’re not lying?” You ask, letting out a breathy sob as you look up at her, tears streaking your cheeks.

“No. I would never lie to you. Why are you so worried about this, y/n? What’s happened between you and him?”

“I-I don’t know. He’s so...distant with me. Has been for months now, ‘mione. And he’s constantly forgetting plans we make and he just doesn’t pay any attention to me like he used to.” You sigh, tears falling down your cheeks as you look back down at the table.

“Y/n.” Hermione frowns, standing to come to your side of the table to pull you into a hug.

“I don’t know what’s happened and it’s killing me. He doesn’t talk to me about anything anymore. It’s like I’m his girlfriend only when it’s convenient for him, otherwise I might as well not even exist.”

Hermione frowns, listening to you as you cry on her shoulder. She can’t imagine what it feels like to be carrying all of this around. No wonder you’ve been so down lately.

“This is what you’re going to do, okay?” Hermione asks before going into detail on her plan for you to get the answers you need.

~.~

"Where is everyone?" Ron asks as he walks into the room of requirement where you were setting up for a movie night, originally planned to have Harry and Hermione here with you.

"Uhm, I don't know. 'mione said she had something to do real quick, but that'd she be here. I haven't heard anything from Harry. I'm sure they'll both be here soon."

"Okay. We can wait. What movie are we watching?"

"Haven't fully decided yet. There's a few options sitting there on the table if you'd like to look them over." You offer, your nerves starting to build up. All along your plan was to have this movie night just for the two of you so you could finally be alone to talk, but now you weren't sure if this would really work.

"Any of them sound good, love." Ron smiles, looking over at you as you continue working on getting the snacks together.

"Alright, well why don't you put one in? I doubt harry or hermione would mind if we started."

The redhead shrugs, doing as you suggested while you take a seat on the couch next to him, close enough to show that you were together, but not close enough to be touching.

You flash him a small, albeit nervous, smile as he leans back in his seat next to you while the film starts. You watch as he gives a small smile back before turning his attention to the movie.

~.~

You're nearly done with the first movie and neither of you have said a word to each other. You honestly weren't sure if you would. He seemed content sitting in silence, whereas you were going insane. You wanted to ask him what's been going on and get any kind of clarification, but you couldn't find the words to ask.

"I wonder if they forgot? It's not like them to be this late." Ron suddenly points out, looking towards the door as if his two friends would walk in any second.

"Maybe. I don't know, ron." you shrug.

He frowns, looking over to you as you stare at the screen in front of the two of you, but not seeming to be watching the movie at all. He notices how youre biting at you thumbnail, a nervous habit you do only when you're beyond anxious.

"Are you alright, love?" He asks, watching you as you nod.

"Yeah. Just tired, I guess."

"Just tired? You're biting at your nails, love. You only do that when you're beyond nervous about something." he points out.

You sigh, chewing on your bottom lip now as you debate with yourself. Is now really the best time to bring this all up? In all honesty, you might just be acting silly.

"What's got you so worried, y/n?"

"Ron, a-are you going to break up with me?" you ask, not meaning to be so blunt, but you couldn't help it. Before you could really think about it, you were speaking.

"What? Why would I be breaking up with you?"

"You tell me, Ron." you sigh. "Am I not enough anymore? Do you just not love me anymore? Have I done something?"

"Where is this coming from, love?" he asks, turning towards you with concern and confusion written all over his face.

"I-never mind." you mumble. "I'm being a bloody idiot."

He frowns, wondering what could possibly have happened to make you doubt your guys' relationship this much. To doubt him this much.

"No. Please tell me what's wrong."

You sigh, looking up at him for the first time since you started talking. His heart breaks when he sees how pained you look. You've got tears building your eyes and your bottom lip is quivering in its battle to prevent a sob from falling out of you.

without even thinking about it, he pulls you into a hug, wrapping his arms around you tight just as you begin break down. He keeps one arm wrapped around your body while the other holds your head close to him, his hand soothingly stroking your hair.

"Beautiful? What's happened? Why are you so upset and doubting us? Has someone said something?"

you shake your head as you're still held against him. You want to reply, but you need another minute or two.

Ron realizes this and stops talking, just holding you until you're calmed down. He continues stroking your hair, loving how soft it is. It's always been one of his favourite things about you. He loves how soft and wonderful smelling you get it. He loves when you style it, but he loves it even more when it just falls naturally around your face and shoulders.

"Do you want to talk about this now?" he asks gently, pulling back just enough to look at you. He frowns when he sees just how red and puffy your eyes are, not to mention how your nose is running. You look so broken and he hates it.

"Beautiful?"

"I feel like you don't love me anymore, Ron. I know it's stupid, but you have been so distant and you hardly talk to me anymore. Not to mention how you keep forgetting any plans we make just the two of us. I just, I don't know." you mumble, not wanting to go further into detail.

"I'm sorry, y/n. I never meant to make you feel unloved. Promise."

"Well, what happened then? Why have you been so distant, ron?"

"I...don't know. I'm sorry, love, but I don't. I've only fallen more in love with you since we've started dating. I guess, I don't know. I guess I might've been a little scared?"

"Scared?" you frown, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.

"Yes, scared. I am so in love with you that it terrifies me sometimes, y/n. I can't picture a life without you and I mean next year is our last year here at hogwarts. I guess, I guess I've been worrying what will happen to us afterwards." He sighs, looking at you.

"I don't ever want to lose you, but I'm worried you don't want the same. I mean, I truly cannot picture a future without you in it, y/n. Whenever I think about life five, ten years from now. Hell, even two years from now, all I see is you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. All I can see is you and I living together in our own little apartment. I can see us cuddled up on the couch every night, doing who knows what. Some nights its us watching a movie, other nights it us just laying there with each other as we each do our separate things. Move forward a few years and all I can see is us married and having kids, us chasing them around the flat as the fly around on toy broomsticks. I can picture you curled up on the couch, holding our daughter as she falls asleep again after a bad dream while I hold our son."

You smile the tiniest bit as ron tells you all this, the smiling growing as he continues on. You loved the boy more than anything you've ever known, and hearing him say he can picture the two of you living together, and getting married, even having kids together, it makes you so happy.

"Ron."

he stops, looking over at you again. He's not sure if he just ruined what you two have, but he prays to merlin he didn't and that you can see the same.

"Yes, y/n?"

"I love you."

He smiles, pulling you into a tight hug as your arms rest around his shoulders.

"I love you too, beautiful. So so much."

"That still doesn't explain why you've been forgetting so much, lately." you pout, pulling back from the hug.

He chuckles nervously, rubbing at the back of his neck.

"There's a very good reason for that, and it's simply because I'd get distracted by thoughts of you. Most of the time it's when Hermione is trying to help Harry and I with our homework. She...doesn't really like when I'm not paying attention to the work."

"So what? You'd get distracted and then lose track of time?"

"Well...yeah. I know it's sound like a really bad excuse, but i really do lose track of time whenever I think about our future."

"I seriously thought you were going to break up with me, or maybe even cheating on me. It's so silly, but I had no idea what could have gone wrong." you sigh, chuckling at your stupidity.

"I'm so sorry to have made you think any of that, love. You are my world and if I ever felt like I wanted to break up with you or cheat on you, I'd rather be dead."

You nod, questioning his choice of words but hugging him close to you again. You smile as he does the same, burying his face into your neck as you rest your head on his shoulder. If only you had had the courage to ask him about all of this when it first started. Maybe then you wouldn't have worried and tortured yourself so much.

#harry potter #harry potter imagine #harry potter angst #ron weasley #ron weasly imagine #ron weasly x reader #ron weasley angst #ron weasely fluff #hp imagine #hp angst #hp fanfic #harry potter fanfiction

[markberries]

i  l i k e  y o u┊draco malfoy

info: you like draco, but he likes pansy. it isn't until a party in the room of requirement makes you realize how much draco didn't like you.

warnings: cursing

genre: angst, fluff, hufflepuff!reader, halfblood!reader

word count: 3300+ a/n: LMAO THIS IS SO BAD AND ITS UNEDITED HAKJSDADH enjoy

"isn't he just so cute?" you giggled, staring at your crush from across the room. the air smelt of burning wood, sunlight seeping through the window panes. professor snape was carefully eyeing each of the students as they prepped their potions, yet your eyes stayed glued to the well known trouble maker who sat in the front of the class.

"y/n, are you ever going to help me with this potion? i know you're good with them and i could really use your help!" ron whined from beside you, poking at your shoulder repeatedly. "bloody hell, were you slipped a love potion? it's just malfoy."

you turned to ron, smacking his arm, and he let out a small "ow". you sighed, helping ron gather materials to make the current potion. "stop acting like my crush on draco is new."

"but y/n, listen to me, nothing good can come out with malfoy, and i'm pretty sure you're just fascinated by the idea you have of him in your head," ron explains, tossing the items into the cauldron, "i mean, have you even talked to him?"

you freeze for a moment, clearing your throat. "y-yes i have, um.. i bumped into him in the hallway and i said sorry."

ron soon realizes what you mean, pity patting you on the head like a child. sighing, he says, "he didn't say anything to you, did he?"

you shake your head, taking a whiff of the potion you and ron created in front of you. you've had a crush on draco since the beginning of this year, which was currently your fourth year at hogwarts. of course, malfoy didn't pay any attention to you.

"god," you cringe, scrunching up your face after smelling the absolutely disgusting potion, "that smells terrible. guess we've made it properly then."

"ugh, you're right," ron replies, backing away from the previously brewing cauldron. you look around, seeing that students are still attempting to complete their potions, so you had a bit of time to waste.

you hear draco's laugh from across the room, pansy parkinson by his side. your mere infatuation with malfoy wasn't enough to make you jealous (because personally, you thought it was an ugly emotion), but it did strike something in you when you watched draco and pansy giggle like idiots together.

people always thought you were crazy to like draco; he was mean, rude, and a pain in the ass, but you continued to see the good in him (or the good that you thought he had). being a hufflepuff who was infatuated with draco didn't grant you anything when it came to popularity, but you couldn't care less. you just thought draco was truly a nice guy on the inside.

"hello? earth to y/n? class is over!" ron waved a hand in your face, making you snap back into reality. you blinked a few times, before looking around to see students exiting the class to go for lunch, and you watched draco leave with pansy.

"come on then, i'm starving!" ron hurried you, pushing you out the door to go to the dining hall, literally grabbing you by the robe because you could not stop staring a malfoy.

tonight was the night of the room of requirement party, all houses invited (hosted by gryffindor, and slytherin was somehow invited as well), and you wanted to use this to your advantage. you wanted to tell draco how you felt, because you were tired of admiring him from afar, tired of awkwardly blushing when you spotted him, and tired of hiding your feelings.

but, unbeknownst to you, draco did know that you had a crush on him. only problem is, he has been trying to get with pansy. he thought you were too quiet and that you weren't really his type, so he avoided you. he always noticed your stares and the way your cheeks heated up when you two met eyes.

when people told him that you liked him, he would brush it off with a scoff and talk about how untrue the rumors were, because he didn't want you to cry to him about how he didn't like you. so, tonight at the party, his plan was to avoid you completely.

—

you twirled in the mirror, taking a look at your fourth outfit change. it was a plain black skirt, paired with a tight yellow turtleneck with a black oversized sweater on top of it, only showing the collar of the turtleneck. you sported black converse high tops, and you honestly felt proud of yourself for actually choosing an outfit on time.

exiting the dormitory, you were greeted at the front of your common room by harry, ron, and hermione, who were talking amongst each other, before looking over at you.

"so i'm guessing today is the day then, right y/n?" hermione asks you, raising a brow. you tried to awkwardly laugh it off, but you were already nervous. harry noticed your difference in mood, and patted you on the back.

"don't worry y/n," harry comforts you, "it's just malfoy. still don't get why you like him, because he truly is an arse, but i'm sure he'll think your beautiful."

you bury your face in your palms, stressing yourself out by picturing the worst case scenarios. "oh god, i really hope it works out."

"calm down, i'll sucker punch malfoy if he says anything stupid, alright?" ron comments, and you hear a snicker from hermione, which makes ron look at her and say, "is something funny?"

the four of you start heading down to the room of requirement, carefully trying to avoid any prefects who were not on board to the party, and avoiding any professors. all of you entered to see students engaging with one another, laughter erupting throughout the room and bouncing off the walls.

it smelt like vanilla and you didn't mind, you waved at some friends from hufflepuff and greeted others, but only looking for one person in particular; draco malfoy. you peaked around corners and asked around, until you saw the familiar slytherin talking up pansy by the back wall.

he saw you coming, but averted your gaze in order to stay focused on pansy. she was talking about her classes and malfoy was listening intently as you made your way towards him, but he chose to ignore you. you waited patiently, hands clad together with sweaty palms. your heart was pounding out of your chest, but you attempted to control your body language.

for the rest of the party, you pretty much followed malfoy like a lost puppy. you just wanted to tell him, but you felt like he was always too busy to talk to. he was always around pansy, and you really didn't know what to do.

"y/n, are you alright?" you hear hermione from beside you, whispering in your ear.

"yeah, i just haven't really gotten the chance to tell draco yet.."

hermione nods, before giving you a pat and leaving to talk to harry and ron.

"hey pansy," draco says, clearing his throat. pansy turns to him, tilting her head. "yes, draco?"

"could we talk outside? just for a moment," draco asks her, and she complies, following draco outside the room of requirement. when they're outside of the party, he scratches the back of his head awkwardly, his face scrunched up.

"well?" pansy asks, waiting for a word out of draco.

"well.. i just wanted to ask you if we could go out for butterbeer sometime, but not as friends, you understand what i'm saying?" draco asks, and pansy looks speechless. she searches for a reason to reject malfoy, not wanting to carry the weight of guilt among her shoulders. she remembers you, following malfoy around, and she uses that to her advantage.

"sorry malfoy, but i think somebody might've already called dibs on you," pansy states, looking at draco, searching for any negative emotion toward her on his face. malfoy frowns, staring at the door of the room of requirement.

"i'll talk to you later," pansy smiles, entering the party once again. draco wasn't mad at pansy, no, he was mad at you. too blinded by the terrible feeling of rejection, he blamed everything on you. he thought about how if you had just left him alone, pansy would've gone out with him (which was not true). draco goes back to the party a few minutes after pansy had left, and you rush over to him, tugging on his black and green robe.

"um, draco i need to-" draco cuts you off, ripping his robe away from your grip. "no, y/n!"

you flinch, startled by the volume and tone of his voice. his face has anger written all over it, and you became frightened. the golden trio hear malfoy's yelling, turning to where the sound was coming from.

"i-i just wanted to say that i like-" malfoy groans, rubbing his face in frustration. "i know you like  me, y/n! for god's sake, everyone knew! you weren't very subtle, y/l/n. stop trying so hard, halfblood. because of you, i got rejected. i don't like you, and i don't consider you a friend. i don't even consider you as an acquaintance. just stay away from me."

your face turns red, growing warmer by the second. at this point, you're staring at your shoes, too scared to look up at draco. tears are welling up in your eyes, threatening to fall as malfoy continues to talk. your throat starts hurting because you refused to cry out, and your hands were trembling.

"draco malfoy!" harry roars, rushing to come to your aid. ron puts both hands on each one of your shoulders, trying to get a glimpse of your face. he sees your glossy eyes, and pulls you into a hug.

"oh now you've done it, malfoy," ron hisses, turning his head to look at draco. draco scoffs, crossing his arms. "what are you gonna do, weasley?" draco shoots back.

"he won't do anything," hermione starts, eyes full of hatred, "but i will." hermione punches draco in the face, making draco yelp in pain. he holds his nose while crabbe and goyle run over to him.

"i-i'm sorry," you sniffle, "it's my fault."

"no no, shh, it's not your fault y/n," ron coos, stroking your hair in an attempt to calm you down. draco eyes you, hearing the shaking in your voice, and feeling a slight pang of guilt. i mean, did he have to yell at you that much? hermione backs up to check up on you, and harry is still glaring at him.

"lets go y/n," hermione smiles at you, and you nod at her and say softly, "okay."

all of you leave the party, eyes glued to your form. when you finally got out of the room, you took a deep breath and felt a slight sense of relief to finally get away from draco. you thought that  this would've gone better, you expected rejection but not in a situation like that. on the way back to the hufflepuff dormitory, all four of you stayed silent.

you felt too tired to talk, and i think the other three understood that. when you reached the common room, you thanked your friends, saying that you were alright (which was not true, but they knew you didn't want to talk about it). you waved them goodbye, heading up to bed, and feeling nervous about the following day.

—

the next day, you got ready like normal, but you were awfully quiet, and draco took note of that. he no longer heard your laughter from across the room, and you stayed focused on your studies. you didn't want to look at him, afraid that he would yell at you again, so you stayed away, just like he asked.

your friends would ask you if last night had affected your new behavior, but you just assured them that it wasn't the case, which was a lie. you were just too scared to say something wrong, or to annoy draco again.

draco watched you as you wrote in your notebook, an unreadable expression on your face. he was restless, the night before, thinking if he had said too much. he thought it was a bit harsh to yell at you in front of everybody, but he still had that fresh feeling of rejection in his mind.

draco watched as your eyes wandered, looking around the classroom and other students, before accidentally catching his eyes. your eyes widened, almost like you were in fear, and then you raised your hand, asking to go to the washroom. you leave the room, gripping at your robe.

draco decides to follow you, he's not sure why,  but he just does. he follows you down the hall, and he sees you sit down on a bench, breathing heavily. draco approaches you, standing right in front of you. your entire body freezes, staring down at his shoes.

"i'm sorry that you were rejected because of me," you say softly, fidgeting with your fingers. draco honestly doesn't know what to do, he doesn't know if he should say that it wasn't your fault, or if he was sorry for yelling at you. he does none of the above, and just decides to stay silent.

"um," you say, looking up at him, and draco swore he thought you were on the brink of tears, "i'll make sure to stay out of your way. i hope parkinson accepts your feelings."

you stand up, rushing to leave, the last person you wanted to talk to was draco. you didn't want to face him, honestly you were considering leaving to go to muggle school, but the thought of leaving your friends here had stopped you.

for the next week, things had stayed the same. you stayed quiet, flinching at any loud noise, and trying your best to ignore malfoy's attempts to reach out to you. he felt incredibly guilty, and his feelings got worse as the days passed. he didn't really understand how much he did pay attention to you before everything that happened.

he kind of did miss catching you staring at him, and how you would shyly look away. maybe it's because he missed the attention you had given him all the time, even if you two didn't speak.

"y/n," you feel a hand grab your arm, you didn't see who it was, but you knew that voice.

"draco please, i already said i'm sorry," you say quietly, not wanting to anger him. your friends were right, maybe draco was a bad person. you wished you hadn't tried to confess to him in the first place.

"no listen- it's not that, okay?" he says, dragging you to the side of the hallway, getting away from the other students who were walking to their classes. "i, i wanted to say i'm sorry."

when draco admits it, your eyes widen, draco malfoy apologizing to someone was very new, and you didn't know what to say. part of you thought it was a joke, that he was going to do something horrible because you ruined his chance, but blue eyes seemed genuine.

"i shouldn't have yelled at you that day, um.. it wasn't your fault, uh, i realize now that pansy was just using you as an excuse, and i'm sorry that it took me so long to realize it. i hope we can start over.. maybe as friends."

you felt like your ears were deceiving you, and you weren't very eager on becoming friends with draco, after what happened. but, you being you, you slowly nodded, unsure of your own answer. "okay, i guess. but i'm not going to lie to your face and say i suddenly lost feelings for you, i just need some time to.. adjust."

something hurts in draco's heart when he hears the amount of uncertainty that laced your warm voice, but he still nodded, respecting your decisions.

"you do know i have been trying to talk to you since the party, right?" draco asks you, and you shake your head. you're taken aback, but you decide to not talk.

"yeah, i really have," draco admits.

you deadpan, "oh. um, see you around draco."

—

after a month, you still have those lingering feelings for draco. him being sweeter to you than usual, really wasn't helping. he would wave at you in the hallways, ask to partner up with you in classes, and he seemed deeply interested in your preferences, likes, dislikes, and your life in general. it was odd for everyone else, too. it was almost like he was actually trying to be nice to you.

even though you had told draco that you needed time, it's like it went in one ear and out the other for him. he was actively trying to talk to you, walking you to class, and more. it felt like you were floating, or like you were dreaming. you convinced yourself that the guilt had probably been eating away at him, because that was really the only explanation.

"by the way, what's it like living in the muggle world?" draco asks you, resting his head on his own hand, curiosity getting the best of him. you two were out on the courtyard, where you had originally been by yourself, but he had decided to join you. you both sat cross legged, facing each other.

"ooh, what does your mother do for a living? i hear there's so many different kind of jobs in the muggle wor-"

"what the hell is up with you, malfoy?" you question, almost snapping at him, but you kept yourself in check. draco only looks at you weirdly, saying, "what do you mean?"

you roll your eyes, "you know what i mean, malfoy. why are you treating me like i'm fragile? like i'll break any second? i told you before and i'll say it again, i need time to adjust. you know that i have feelings for you, so are you trying to rub salt in the wound? because i'm really not sure what is going on."

draco laughs, "you really are dimwitted, aren't you?" he shakes his head.

"i'm sorry?" you squint your eyes at him, and he laughs again. god, you really loved his laugh.

"you're such an idiot, y/l/n," and with that sentence, he places a hand on your cheek and brings you in for a kiss. his lips land on yours, and you feel like a statue. you didn't know how to react, i mean, was draco really kissing you right now?

his lips are soft, and you felt a little bad because you did not move at all. when he pulls away, you're in awe, staring at him, shocked.

"what," you manage to get out, and draco giggles, cupping your cheeks in his hands.

"i fancy you, you idiot," draco says to you, and you swear you can feel your heart jumping out of your chest. you're still sitting in place, confusion written all over your face.

"the fuck," you sputter out this time. "you fancy me? since when?"

draco sighs, tapping his chin as he thinks. "pretty sure it was the day i caught you sleeping at the library. you had been studying for hours, a little drool on your arm as well. that was the day i decided that i like you."

you turn red, blinking your eyes.

"you saw that?"

"yeah, you looked nice that day."

draco leans back and rests his hands on the grass, smirking when he saw how much he affected you. "so, are you willing to go on a date with me?"

"o-oh, okay, wow. haha, didn't expect this," you're at a loss for words, and you know malfoy knows it, because he can't stop smiling at how stupid you probably sounded right now.

"great," he replies, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

"you know, ron won't be happy about this."

"oh forget the weasley, is he your boyfriend?"

"who said i had a boyfriend?

#draco #draco malfoy #harry potter #ron weasley #hermione granger #draco imagine #draco fluff #draco angst #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy angst

[lubdubsworld]

Better Man .

~~~~~~~~~~I wish I could forget, when it was magic~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taehyung x Oc 

Rated 18 +

Post Divorce, Getting Back Together, Second chances, Angst.

 Chapter 1    Chapter 2   Chapter 3 

Chapter 4

How do you know you’re ready for kids? 

Is it after you’re financially stable enough? After you’ve partied enough? Got all the wildness inside you tamed? After you’ve grown sick of the freedom that comes with youth and what it implies ?  after you’ve grown tired of empty conversations that lead nowhere? sharing ubers with people you barely like because you’re too drunk to drive? When you just crave the comfort of people you truly love instead of strangers who grind up on you ? Or perhaps   when you start preferring silence in the evenings to the thrumming bass in some dingy nightclub? 

None of these really. 

The truth is you’re never ready. 

Hoshi had been planned. Taehyung and I had done our homework, studied everything from my ovulation cycle to the entire catalogue of some expensive breast pump , new in the market . Everything had been researched and planned and perfected : the wood the crib would be made of, the color he wallpaper in the nursery would be and the kind of diapers and wipes we would use. 

But it still threw us for a loop....how unpredictable he was.

How unpredictable the pregnancy was. 

What I wanted : Home birth. Mid wife . Taehyung by my side holding my hand.

What i got : Preeclampsia, a baby born six weeks early, Taehyung frantic on the phone in the middle of the night as he took his private jet from Japan where he was shooting a commercial. The pain of being induced into a labor that lasted for 16 hours only for my body to give up half way through. 

A c section that left a scar and numbness that hadn’t faded even now , after four whole years. three weeks in the NICU....tears and terror after learning that the  baby in the incubator right next to Hoshi’s didn’t make it. Aching to hold my son but being forced to stare at him through the glass, wires and tubes wrapped around his tiny torso. 

And through it all, Taehyung. 

Stronger than I had ever seen him. Calm and collected as he watched me pump milk for our baby, barely managing a few measly drops of it after thirty minutes of trying . His arms around me, holding me up as I tried to fight the sheer agony that came from my stitches, tried to stay conscious for the baby. Watching him carefully pour the milk into a sterile bottle to take down to the NICU . 

Falling in love with him, over and over and over again throughout the day as he did  everything for me. 

Hoshi was loved and cherished , not just because he was an expression of our love for each other. 

But a reminder of Taehyung’s love for  me. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“ He’s growing out of all his clothes. I’m going to take him shopping tomorrow.”  Taehyung commented, watching Hoshi get on his tippy toes to point out the pastry he wanted from the display case, while a star struck cashier stared at Taehyung . 

Taehyung’s body guards were right near the table and while a crowd of people stood outside, none of them came too close. I was used to the attention that came with Taehyung and his celebrity status. 

“That’s a good idea. I have a couple of meetings tomorrow regarding the Christmas campaign and I may not be able to make it on the weekedn either. Is it okay if I pick him on monday evening?” I asked, cutting into the blueberry scon on my plate.

“How about I drop him off at your office. Save you the trip.” 

I hesitated, before nodding. 

“I spoke to the lawyer....she told me the papers should be processed by the end of next month. My company will make a formal announcement from both of us and we’ll say we don’t intend to answer any other media questions.”

I stared at him, watching his face carefully for something different. A sign that would explain what had changed between us because something had. I was sure of it. 

“ Why now, Taehyung?” I asked softly. 

He held my gaze for a second, eyes warm and honest. Taehyung could hide his emotions well, but his eyes always told the truth. 

“Because I’ve strung you along long enough. You deserve to be free.” He said finally.

I swallowed, looking down. 

“I ....you didn’t string me along.” I shook my head.

“I think you deserve to be loved right, without the shadow of my failures hanging over you. I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life in a limbo because of one wrong choice.”

Wrong choice. 

Whose ?

His? When he chose to drink That night?

Or mine? When I chose to walk out?

Or the both of us? For handling the fallout so badly? 

I had so many questions but I didn’t say anything. 

They were question that had no answers. 

“So we move on.” I stared at him intently.

“I will always love you. I will always be there for you.” He smiled, eyes glinting a little. 

i watched him, the familiar body. He had been my first. My best. Taehyung’s body was as familiar to me as my own and I wanted to hug him, hold him close and press kisses to his lips again. It wasn’t emotional or even sexual it was just...this urge to let him know that he was loved too. that he was adored. That he would always be loved.

“But, “ he went on, “  yes. Its been two years.... so.... we should move on. Meet other people. ” 

“Fall in love again ?” I didn’t mean to sound bitter but my tone certainly was. He gave me a very tired smile and I felt guilt bubble up inside me. 

“I’m not going to be that greedy, Mia.  I will settle for just feeling a little less alone.” He looked away and my throat closed up. 

He stood up, moving to the counter to pay for the treats that Hoshi had chosen. 

And that was it. 

I watched the small tendrils of warmth, rising up from my coffee, gossamer strips of smoke mingling in the cold air and melting into nothingness. 

Here one second gone the next.

Just like my marriage. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a little past seven when I reached my apartment, my phone ringing just as I dropped my coat and unwrapped the scarf from around my neck. I moved quickly to the bedroom, pulling my phone out of my handbag. 

I picked the call, switching it to speaker before tossing my phone on the bed. 

“Hello?”

“Jang Mi...its Jungkook. You ready?”

I swore, stripping out of my clothes quickly, fumbling with my bra and yanking my panties down.

“I’m just about to shower.  Five me ten minutes!” 

He didn’t reply and I frowned.

“Jungkook??” i called opening the closet to grab a hairband and shower cap. 

“When you say you’re just about to shower...are you actually in the shower?” His voice  sounded a little deeper than usual. Weird. 

“What?” I was completely confused.

“Like are you naked in-”

Oh Christ. 

I rolled my eyes, hanging up quickly. Sleeping with Jungkook, while extremely pleasurable had definitely been a little too much too soon. It made him take too many liberties, ones I wasn’t particularly comfortable giving him yet. 

But I liked him. 

He was, at the end of the day a nice guy. 

A nice guy who had an actual interest in me. Those were rare to come by. 

It was another fifteen minutes before I was ready, choosing a plain black jumpsuit in a flowy georgette material. It had nice flowy sleeves and i added gold jewelry at my wrists and earrings, just for a little bling. I stared at the dress at all angles. It definitely hugged my curves right but was also impossibly hard to take off. 

So even if I got swayed by his good looks and made bad choices ,  by the time Jungkook undressed me , i would be able to come to my senses and stop myself from having sex with him again. 

Groaning at myself, I grabbed the small black jeweled clutch from inside my dresser, slipping my phone in.

I steered clear of make up, choosing just a deep red lipstick. 

The knock on the door came just as i finished slipping into black pumps . 

I opened the door , only to have a dozen red roses thrust into my hands. 

“Wow.” I whispered, glancing at him. He looked extra handsome, a blood red shirt clinging to his torso, a think black tie knotted at his neck. He gave me a devilish wink, eyes flitting all over me , licking his lips. 

i tamped down the urge to back away, reminding myself that I was supposed to be moving on. Even if it wasn’t with Jungkook, he had asked me out on a date and I had agreed. I would enjoy myself tonight. 

“Gorgeous. Ready?”

“Let me just put these in water...” I smiled at him, placing the stems into the cut glass decanter on the nearest table. I emptied the small bottle of water nearby into it , bending over to fix the petals when I felt him press right up against me. 

Startling, i nearly spilled the water all over the floor, breath catching when his chest met my back . I felt myself trembling a bit because of how warm he felt, even with the inches between us and I could smell him, the subtle cologne that handsome men wear , just to drive women crazy. 

The urge to lean into his body was so strong I had to clench my fists. Apparently,  my body was  very much on board with moving on even if my heart wasn’t. Jungkook made things worse by moaning into my ear, chin resting on my shoulder as he lightly gripped my waist, before reaching over with other hand, plucking one scarlet bloom from the bunch  

I swallowed as he wrapped both arms around me in a backhug , holding the bloom up in front of my face. 

“Do you like the scent of it?” His lips brushed my ear and I grinned. I hadn’t been flirted with , like this in years. I bent my head to lightly breath in the air near the bloom, enjoying the subtle scent. “It’s lovely.” I said honestly. 

He  casually broke the stem off, a couple of inches from the where the petals began. 

“Turn around for me “ Jungkook whispered in my ear again. I turned around quickly, my lips inches from his, refusing to back away, staring right at him. He smirked, bringing the flower up to the small upknot on the side of my head. 

I stayed still as he carefully pulled a single bobby pin out, sticking the stem into my hair before casually using his teeth to pry open the pin again and slotting it into my hair, pinning the flower in place. 

Apparently, watching Jungkook pin a rose into my hair was winning brownie points for him in my brain, because my entire body went warm , my heart beating faster. 

“I’m scared to ask why you’re so good at this...” I smiled and he raised an eyebrow.

“I have a daughter remember? Its a lot of ribbons and bows and pins.” He grinned. 

The idea that Jungkook did his daughter’s hair for her, with ribbons and flowers was so ridiculously endearing I wanted to coo. 

“There. Now we match.... A little.” he smiled. 

I stared at him, the black tie on his red shirt and the red rose against my black dress. 

“Smart. “ I nodded. 

“Shall we leave?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I had fun tonight.” Jungkook hesitated . 

The night had been so much more fun than I’d anticipated. Jungkook somehow convincing me to party crash someone’s engagement party near the pool with an open bar and ridiculous ninety’s party music. But I’d danced to my heart’s content, my hair coming undone half way through and I was only a little upset that I’d lost the red rose in the middle of people.

“I had a lot of fun too Jungkook’ah..” I smiled, honest . 

“We should do this again. Since we never got to actually talk. It was just you getting progressively drunk and dancing like you wanted to pee.” He teased and I pouted. 

I reached out and pressed a palm to his face...his skin smooth under my skin and I felt myself swaying just a little, lethargic and a little aroused from the scent of him.

“Wanna get another drink?” And then because I was completely gone and had no filter, “ If you come inside....maybe I’ll let you cum inside. if you know what I mean.....” I drawled, waggling my eyebrows. 

Jungkook’s face morphed into one of absolute shock, lips parted and then he laughed so hard he choked, coughing. 

“Wow. You  are  drunk.” He shook his head, looking amused. “ How about this.... I’ll come in and tuck you into bed and if you drink a couple of glasses of water for me, I will not tease you about this tomorrow.” He offered. 

I pouted. 

“You don’t wanna come inside...?”

“Oh baby , you have no idea how bad I wanna come inside.....but not like this” He brushed the hair off my brow, kissing my forehead...” Ask me again when you’re sober and we’ll work something out. Now let’s get you into bed.” 

I groaned as he dragged me into the bedroom. 

The moment my head hit the pillow, I fell asleep. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!~

Author’s note : Not me falling in love with the second lead in my own story ugh.  He’s gonna get a separate story. I’m gonna write a whole entire fic for CFO! Jungkook , adorable single dad of cute little girl. 

I don’t have a tag list for this fic so please do let me know if you want to be tagged !!! 

#taehyung smut #taehyung fics #taehyung fanfic #bts au #bts fanfics #bts smut

[whoistheasshole]

How do I get out of this unsatisfying life I’m living?

Anonymous asks: So the thing is that I feel incredibly stuck - I have all the basics of life which I'm grateful for but also that was my BIG dream as a kid, to get tf out of my parents' house - but now I have that and idk what to do for the rest of my life. Like, if I try those "visualize your future" things I'm just like, "I'd like to sleep for a month, maybe longer" & it feels like I don't really WANT anything so I can't plan, you know? Just flailing here honestly. Pretty tired of it.

I wrote back: I got your question. To pinpoint my answer a little better, can you tell me about your current situation, like how long has it been since you moved out? Which are the things you have in order to your satisfaction? Some vague idea of your age range would also be helpful, but I can work without it too if you’d rather not share.

Anonymous answered: Ah, sorry. I was trying to fit in the character limit & also whenever I think about this my mind just goes flbbbbth. It's been about 5 years? That's about the only thing I'm truly HAPPY about, I'm not thrilled with my social/love life, career, etc & have pretty much been just coasting tbh. I'm almost 30. Thanks for entertaining this.

Alright, thanks for adding some background. I will come at this from different angles and you can pretty much pick and choose what sounds helpful and leave the rest, okay?

First, while there are people who have it all figured out, methodically planning their next career step or fully certain that there is no greater joy than raising a child, there are tons of other people who just, to quote, go „ flbbbbth“ when asked about their next steps or, god forbid, their life plan. I would say I fall in the latter camp, but I don’t mind because I think there is nothing wrong with that. I let myself be guided by the things I need to be happy (more on that later) and by current necessities – if my job becomes shit, I need to find a new job. If a friendship goes sour, I need to end it respectfully. But I couldn’t tell you specific career or personal goals, except...

... let’s talk about the „later“ now.

I’m an organizer, maybe even a worrier, and therefore I like lists. And for that reason I made a list a while ago that I still have and expect to keep for a long time. It is a list of everything that I need to be satisfied with my life. It consists of 29 entries and has three of them checked, though several others could be counted as half-checked. I wrote down everything that came to mind, paying no attention whether it was reasonable or feasible to want. That wasn’t the question.

It covers stuff like a clean flat (not checked), restful sleep (not checked), friends that I see regularly (checked) or a job with purpose (not checked). This list is my guide. Well, generally my needs are my guide, but it can be hard to be aware of your needs sometimes, so I got this list. And if I wonder what I need or want to focus on, I can turn to it and choose one of the entries and see what I can do about it. I can also look over the list every few years and see if things have developed in the right direction. Little progress is no reason to chastise myself, but helpful information to see whether I need to re-direct my focus.

Please note that I wrote „satisfied“, not „happy“. Being happy is a passing emotional state. It is completely normal and okay not to be happy all the time. But quiet satisfaction with where you are or where you are going, that is pretty achievable. It certainly is a process, but an enjoyable one.

This list is not a race and it is not really a to-do list because most of the things I wrote down aren’t easy to accomplish with a single action. They take months and years and, for some items, I can only try and hope it works out some day (see anybody who ever purposely looked for a partner).

So maybe this kind of list could be an exercise for you. Maybe it provides you with some insight, maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it’s not the right point in your life. But if you sit down and the only thing you can come up with is „cry forever“ or „sleep forever“ then, you know, that’s a sign.

Which brings me to my next point: Journaling or automatic writing. This method is especially helpful for those „I feel some kind of way and I couldn’t even tell you how“ moments – so maybe exactly where you are right now. Captain Akward has introduced me to a website called „750 words“ and I’ve used the principle of „morning pages“, though not the website, since then whenever I felt like some emotions were starting to boil over.

I sit down, ideally in the morning, and just barf it all on the (digital) page. There are only two rules: 1) Don’t edit or judge yourself, write everything as it comes to mind (that’s the automatic writing part) and 2) Don’t stop before you’ve reached 750 words. You are not looking to write anything readable or clever or lyrical, you’re looking to get all the weirdness out so you can move on. Repeat this as many days as you feel queasy or weird or confused or angry or sad. Each day, as soon as you’ve reached the 750 words, you can walk away. Heck, you could even delete/burn the document if that feels right. It’s just about giving your thoughts the room they need so you can continue with your day, hopefully feeling somewhat relieved.

While we’re at writing, I also have a question for you: Where is the pressure coming from to „do something with your life“? Is it truly coming from inside you or are there outside factors? Are people in your life asking you when you’ll have kids? Do you live in a culture where it’s expected that everybody does something of note, works certain prestigious jobs? Do you compare yourself to the people around you and feel like you’re „late“?

Maybe mull this over on a leisurely walk or write about it, using the method above. No matter where it’s coming from, the feeling of pressure won’t go away just by knowing its origin, but the knowledge can help you keep it under control. And if you find it is truly your own wish, you will have tools to shape your life according to your needs.

So, next, sleep: Maybe do that?

You wrote "I'd like to sleep for a month, maybe longer". I understand this was half a joke, but also … it was probably more than a joke.

How are your energy levels? How does life feel? Are you trying to jog through jello most of these days?

If we’ve been overachievers or had a tough home life or needed to take care of ourselves pretty early, we can become accustomed to everything being difficult. This feeling and behavior can become a way of life, even when circumstances change and we have a chance to act differently.

Do you feel rested? Do you have regular moments of quiet in your life that let you breathe? If not, this is where I would start. Forget about lists, though morning pages might be a helpful accompanying tool (if they don’t become a task to punish yourself with if you don’t find the energy).

Take some weeks or months, maybe even a year to make rest your priority. You will have to find a way that works for you. Yes there is a lot of clinically proven stuff out there, but you will not see me do yoga or meditate. Though feel free if that’s up your alley. If you love cycling or taking photos or drawing or just plain lying on your bed and staring at the wall, see where you can add more of that to your day. Whatever brings you closer to yourself and makes you feel like you can exhale and stand still for a moment, that’s the way to go. Do this as long as sleeping seems like a fine choice. And for good measure maybe a month longer. You are ready to stop when you cannot wait to do something else goddamnit I’m bored!!! (you might say)

If you are in this picture, please start here. Any kind of life plan, next steps, strategizing, solving of riddles would set you back and perpetuate your exhaustion. Rest is not time wasted, rest is how you get your life back.

If you are in this picture, you will likely find that if you really pull through, if you truly rest, as long and boring or even scary as it may be, the other questions will probably have an intuitive answer afterwards. Not like „this is my 20-year career plan“, but „I feel like doing x this week“. And that is enough. Because you won’t need to strain to hear your needs through the fog of exhaustion anymore.

Finally, some practical information and links for when you do have the energy and inclination to tackle your job and social life. I am not saying you need to change anything if that’s not what you want to focus on. These are just some tips, in case they become relevant.

For your social life, I recommend what others have recommended before me: Pick an activity that you do with other people and stick with it long enough to become a familiar face, see also here and here (yes, meeting gay people is similar to meeting other people). If you try out new stuff, go there at least 5 or 6 times before you decide it’s not for you – of course assuming nothing bad is coming up like racist or abusive people in the group. Shop around if the first group/activity doesn’t work for you until you find something that you’d like to do permanently. Maybe you’ll gain some friends, maybe you’ll find a romantic opportunity. In any case, if it’s something fun that you like to do anyway, you will have found an outlet with a social group attached. It is absolutely not as easy right now, with Covid and all, but if nothing outdoors-y comes to mind, you could also use this time to brainstorm what sounds like fun for when things are safer again.

Of course you can also look at opportunities online, like Discord servers, online interest groups etc but I do understand if that’s just not appealing right now. I am certainly over sitting in front of a screen.

To round this up, don’t sneeze at contacts that you already have. Are there acquaintances, friends of friends, colleagues, family members who you would like to get to know better? Then go do that! Suggest a time and place to meet up and see how they react. Say yes to the potential friends.

Speaking of which...

The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes might also be interesting. Sure, it’s a little pop culture positive thinking kinda stuff, but I did like the impulse it gave me to consider when I say no to opportunities out of anxiety or worry. It made me accept some social invitations from colleagues (… in the before times) that I would not have otherwise considered. I did not gain life-long friends, but I did learn another valuable info: That my FOMO wasn’t justified for these events ;)

It also lead me to the decision to do one new thing every month – visit a new place or try a new activity or cook a new food. If the concept sounds appealing, just think about what sounds interesting and achievable to you.

And finally, the advice blog recommendations that I’ll always have. For social life, love life, and general life planning turmoil: Captain Awkward. For everything job-related, including how to write a good cover letter or interview well and, of course, how to get out of the dreaded current job you have: Ask A Manager.

To sum it up:

1) Figure out if you even have the energy to tackle any of this right now.

2) Figure out your pillars for a satisfying life – nothing big and shiny, just … basic needs, wishes, social needs.

3) When you feel like it, pick what you want to tackle next and see where it leads you.

4) Stay flexible. This is your life and it’s okay to go where it takes you, even if it doesn’t look „cool“ or „impressive“ from the outside. All you need is to make it your own.

And if you want to, let me know how it goes some time. :)

#post #questions #advice #WHO IS THE ASSHOLE #life advice #rest #recovery

[shotofire]

There’s Just Something About Him

•SHOTO TODOROKI x READER

•Overview: having feelings for the icy hot boy just seemed like a lost cause

•Warnings: just some cursing, meantions of anxiety.

•Season: 3

-

You’d always found the split haired boy attractive, but nothing ever went beyond that. It seems that even if you wanted it to nerves would just be in the way. Besides, everyone’s working to become pro-hero’s, who has time for a relationship? With all the shit going on you were almost positive that Todoroki didn’t have you in mind at all. The constant sneak attacks from villains, not knowing when the next person is going to get hurt, it was all too much.

Atleast that’s what you tried to convince yourself. The sweet, quiet boy who’d caught your eye since the first day of school just couldn’t possibly like you. He couldn’t possibly let a thought like that even make it halfway into his head. You’d lost hope a couple months into school, realizing fate definitely wasn’t on your side.

The two of you never got partnered up or even in the same group. It’s as if something is telling you it’s not meant to be. Sure you’d taken your own initiative and made conversation with the boy, but it’s always short lived. He wasn’t the best at talking unless he was on an adrenaline rush during a practice scenario. You had never gotten the luck of him wanting to use your quirks together either.

It truly felt hopeless.

You tried your best not to dwell on these things. If it was meant to be it just would’ve happened by now. Right?

The thoughts left your mind as you walked with your fellow classmates. Today is an exciting day, it was time to move into the new dorms. It took way too much convincing with your family, but eventually they caved in. You knew it’d be hard, they’re just worried about you. At this point the whole world was worried about all of the UA students safety. But everyone can agree that dorms are the safest it can get with all of the new high tech security.

You all stopped, admiring the new tall building in front of you. Knowing Todoroki was going to be in the same building as you every night had your anxiety on edge. But you were also... excited? For what, you had no idea. It was just a swirl of emotions.

Oh no, he’s gonna see my puffy morning eyes.

The happy chatter was cut short when Mr. Aizawa started talking about hero licenses, something that seemed to slip everyone’s minds. He was rather intimidating, eyes stern and serious. It sent a wave of uneasiness throughout the group. He knew the whole class was aware of the plan to save Bakugou, and he wasn’t happy. You stare at him with legs beginning to tremble.

His words cut deep as he threatened the possibility of expelling the entire class. You definitely wouldn’t put it past him, he seems like the type. But, as he said, due to All Might’s retirement the need for hero’s was strong. He couldn’t just get rid of such potential.

You looked at Todoroki’s face and it was frozen, he seemed more worried than anyone else. His heterochromia eyes stayed fixed on Mr. Aizawa, and you couldn’t help but let yourself take in his features. Sure you see the boy almost everyday but it’s hard to get good long looks when you’re sitting in class, he’d easily feel your gaze. There’s already been a couple times where he’s caught you and the embarrassment was too much to handle again.

His jaw was cleanched and sharp as ever. You just loved it. You wondered if it was weird to think about running your slim fingers along the bone of his jaw, it was just so beautiful.

“(y/n), are you even listening to me? Or are you just going to stare at Todoroki?”

In that moment it felt like you were going to throw up. All eyes shot to you, including Todoroki. Mr. Aizawa was a real ass sometimes but this definitely was the worst thing hes ever done to you, and he’d made you fall on your face after taking away your quirk infront of the whole class. That was absolutely nothing compared to this.

“I- uh, I-I wasn’t, I just-“ you were totally at loss for words. You’d never been more embarrassed in your life. The heat on your face was hotter than ever, and you knew it was visible as well.

Mr. Aizawa rolled his eyes, no longer caring about the predicament, “Anyways, that’s all. Look alive, enjoy your new home.”

That statement didn’t help anyone’s nerves after his little intimidation speech, but you had it the worst. Your face was still red and you could feel your heartbeat in your ears. Today was not going the way you hoped, and you didn’t dare even peak at Todoroki. You couldn’t help but think he thought you were weird. A girl he barely talks to constantly staring at him, there’s no way he didn’t think that.

The speech about where the boys and girls were was given, including where everything else was. But you could hardly pay attention focus on anything, and you didn’t dare look up.

It was time to decorate your rooms and make it your own, and you couldn’t be more relieved. Finally away from that embarrassment, even though it was waiting for you on the other side of your closed door.

“damnit,” you cursed. No one was going to forget that and you knew it. And the girls were beyond nosey when it came to crushes, especially Ashido.

After a couple hours of getting things together there was a knock on your door. You immediately froze. It’s like you had forgotten where you were and what had happened for a little bit, but of course you were quickly brought back to reality.

“Who is it?” You asked.

“Its Uraraka, can I come in?”

Shes always the sweetest and you knew she wouldn’t bug you about anything. Especially after seeing the way you reacted. Uraraka always had her suspicions that you found Todoroki cute, your eyes practically lit up everytime he did something.

You granted her permission and continued to put your pillows neatly on the bed. She was in her pj’s but definitely seemed wide awake.

“Oh wow, your room is so cute (y/n)! Nothing compared to mine,” her smile was huge. You just adored her, she always brightened up your mood.

“Thank you so much Uraraka, you’ll have to show me your room later before that is confirmed,” you smiled back.

“Oh course! Actually, speaking of rooms, that’s what I came here for. The girls and I convinced the guys to show us their rooms and we kinda turned it into a little contest. Wanna join?”

Her request was extremely appealing. You immediately wondered what Todoroki’s room looked like, and now was your opportunity to see it. But the nerves were still there, and the embarrassment was even stronger. You just couldn’t face everyone right not, especially Todoroki’s. He probably didn’t want your creep self in there anyways.

“Thanks for asking Uraraka, but i’m very tired. I was just planning on finishing my room and crashing. But I still would like to see your room sometime tomorrow,” you said while trying to hold your smile. But she could see the said frown behind it, but she didn’t want to bother you any further. She could only imagine how she’d react and feel if Mr. Aizawa did that to her. She’d be completely horrified.

“You got it, see you tomorrow (y/n). Sleep well!”

She leaves, shutting the door behind her. Your smile quickly fades and your shoulders fall limp.

I really wish I could see his room, I bet it’s awesome.

In all honestly you figured Todoroki would be relieved you didn’t show. God, class tomorrow was going to be hell. You just knew it, there’s no way you’d be able to focus knowing the whole class knows you’re a freak who can’t keep your eyes off the icy hot boy.

You pushed your thoughts aside, ignoring them to the best of your ability. You attempted to sleep, but the constant stamper of footsteps above you and outside your door was keeping you from the world of dreams. The world where assholes like Mr. Aizawa didn’t completely humiliate you.

Just as sleep started to creep up on you, there was another knock on your door. It was soft, and you immediately knew it wasn’t Uraraka. You sat up in the darkness, reaching for your bedside lamp. It faintly lit the room with a yellow glow, and made a light buzzing noise. You were too tired to speak up and ask who it was, so you forced yourself out of bed.

Maybe it was Momo, she did say she was looking forward to seeing your room. You pushed your wild hair out of your face before opening the door. And when you saw who was standing there a sharp breath immediately got caught in your throat. You let out a light cough.

“Todoroki?” you asked confused. He was all alone, no one with him. The lights in the hallway were out, one could only assume the competition was over and everyone else had gone to bed. Yet here he is, standing before you.

“I wanted to talk to you,” he says as if it’s the most normal thing ever. You didn’t know what to say, he’d never even approached you first. But he can knock on your door late at night to talk to you?

You looked at him in disbelief. In that moment you realized how little you knew about this boy, and how odd this situation was.

“What time is it?” You asked, completely ignoring what he said. He huffed, he knew you’d be difficult. You two may not talk much but he’s good at observing. He knew you more than you’d think.

“Almost 12, not too late. Can I talk to you?” This time he asked, therefore making it harder to avoid.

“Uh, I-In here?” You asked.

You couldn’t help but think he was here to tell you to stop being a creep. He wasn’t interested in you and would really appreciate it if you could stop with the creepy stares.

“Anywhere is fine,” he answers.

At those words, you move aside. Widening the door so that he can come in. The smell of vanilla hit you in the face as he walked past, and his eyes immediately began to observe your room.

Todoroki is in my room... what the actual fuck is going on!?

His hand comes up to point at your wall, “Did you draw those?”

Your eyes dart to the colorful art pinned to your wall.

“Y-Yes.”

The constant stuttering was making you loose your mind. But when your anxiety is this high you can’t manage to think straight. Not even one word can come out without a struggle.

“I like them.”

You swallow, hard. He probably heard it. The room was so quiet without one of you talking, unbearably quiet. Without words the only sound was the faint buzzing of your lamp you’d turned on only a few minutes ago.

“Oh, uh, Thanks,” a blush began to creep onto your face. Your hand came up to cover your face as you looked down. You knew you looked odd in the moment, but it was better than him seeing how much he can effect you so easily.

Todoroki looked at you with sweet eyes, although you couldn’t see them due to your current state. He thought you looked cute right now, all bashful. That’s something he has always liked about you. Your cheeks got red so easily when you were embarrassed, nervous, flustered, even when you were tired.

He noticed these things because you interested him, you always had. You were way too cute and sweet to not catch his attention. He just truly sucked when it came to talking to girls. Especially pretty girls like you.

“I, um,” this time it was Todoroki at a loss for words. He had a plan before he came in, but now as he stood in your room it was much harder to think clearly.

You looked up at him, his hand was raking through his hair. He seemed almost... nervous.

Why the hell would he be nervous?

“I was uh wondering if you, uh, would like to,” he took a deep breath to clear his mind. He was stuttering too much and overthinking, it was just a simple question he was trying to get out.

He locked eyes with you, “Would you like to go grab some food after school tomorrow?”

Your mouth fell open, but you quickly covered it with your hand. There was no way, no damn way.

“You mean, j-just me and you?” You asked, making sure you were  interpretating this correctly.

“Yeah, Yeah,” He nervously laughs, “Like a uh, date.”

Like a what now?

There was absolutely no way this was real, you had to be dreaming.

“is this a joke?” You ask, but you meant to only think it.

His eyes widen and he quickly began waving his hands, “W-What? No, of course not! I really want to go on a date with you, I think it’d be fun. Plus you’re super sweet and pre-“ he stops himself.

C’mon man, you’re gonna scare her off by being too forward.

“Yeah, i’d really like that Todoroki,” your smile was surpressed by your teeth sinking into your bottom lip. At this point you wanted to jump for joy, but you didn’t want to scare this chance away.

“Okay cool, so after school. Tomorrow, you and me,” his nervous laugh comes back, “on a date.”

You can’t help but giggle, you’d never seen Todoroki so nervous before. Not in this way at least. It was one of the cutest things you’d ever seen.

“You got me after school Todoroki,” you giggled again, “You and me on a date.”

And with that, the two of you said your goodbyes, which were a little awkward considering the two of you kept letting nervous laughter slip.

As soon at the door shut, you let out a happy squeal. It didn’t even bother you that he might of heard it, you really didn’t care. You were so overjoyed that nothing could kill your mood.

On the other side of the door Todoroki had the geekiest smile on his face. He walked to his room completely satisfied. He did it, he finally asked the girl he liked on a date.

“Hell yeah,” he whispered to himself.

This definitely was heading in the right direction.



#todoroki shouto #shouto todoroki #bnha todoroki #imagine #fanfic #anime #love #romance #x reader #todoroki shoto imagine #todoroki x reader #tordoroki imagine #tororoki fanfic #todoroki x y/n #tordoroki shoto x reader #boku no hero fanfic #boku no hero academia #boku no hero imagines #boku no hero x reader

[goodgirldray]

Forever Missing Him

i: together

———————————

word count: 1.07k

summary: you should have seen the signs. you should have known that things would turn out as they did.

You snapped out of your daze, turning your head to look at your best friend, Daphne Greengrass, as she gave you a strange look.“Y/N, you’ve been out of it all day. What’s wrong?”

She had a right to be worried, you knew. You really had been acting strange, and knowing even you could recognize it made it even more worrisome. It wasn’t like you- you had always been a bit of a dreamer, spacing out when you should be paying attention to class, but you had never been like this.

“I’m fine, Daph.” Your blonde friend shot you a sceptic look, gathering up her notes from Charms class. Watching her, you realized you had completely forgotten to even take notes.

“I’m your best friend. You can’t lie to me.” Her eyebrows furrowed in concern, as she watched you gather your things that you barely used.

The two of you left the classroom, making your way to the next one. You could feel the uneasy tension between you two. Her, worried as all good friends would be, and you, who knew you were acting strange but didn’t even know why.

“If you don’t want to tell me, then you don’t have to. I’m just… worried.”

“I know,” you turned to look at her, giving her a soft smile. “And I’m so grateful to have you. It’s just… honestly, I don’t even know what’s wrong with me. I just have this bad feeling, that’s all.”

“Bad… feeling?”

“Everything has been so perfect lately.” You let out a small sigh, watching other students pass you by in the hall.

You were a fifth year, about half-way through the school year. What you said was true- everything had been perfect. You had an amazing boyfriend, Draco Malfoy, who you began dating the beginning of fourth year. You had amazing friends- Daphne Greengrass, her girlfriend, Pansy Parkinson, Daphne’s younger sister, Astoria, Blaise Zabini, Theodore Nott, and so many others. You made good grades, and for the most part, you liked all your teachers.

So yes, everything was perfect.

But still, there was this anxiety that kept crawling in your chest, always when you least expected it. You knew these things couldn’t last. You knew that You-Know-Who was still out there, that he would come back sooner than anyone wanted, and you knew that the paradise around you would eventually crumble.

That thought kept you awake at night. It haunted you in your classes, even when you were just trying to have fun moments with your friends.

How many more moments would you even get to have with them?

Daphne gave you a gentle smile, placing her delicate hand on your shoulder. “You don’t have anything to worry about, Y/N. I’m not going to ever leave you. Neither is Draco, or anyone else for that matter. Everything will be perfectly fine- you’ll see.”

For both of your sakes, you truly hoped she was right.

——————-

The day passed slowly, in a repetitive circle. Almost like you were riding a merry-go-round, never ending and never stopping.

After eating dinner with your friends and classmates, you made your way into the Slytherin Common Room, throwing yourself on a plush green couch.

You couldn’t recall any of your classes that day, so you knew you’d have to get Daphne’s notes at some point that night. You just hoped she wouldn’t be too upset.

You watched other students file in, as you scanned for one face in particular. He hadn’t shown up for dinner, saying he had other matters to attend to- thinking about it now, you hadn’t seen your boyfriend all day.

You finally saw the boy, his porcelain skin and snowy hair being the first thing you noticed. He immediately noticed you too, and you saw the dark bags under his eyes as he made his way to you.

“Draco?” You asked, concern showing in the lines on your face. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

He shook his head gently, sitting down and leaning his head on to your shoulder.

With a soft sigh, you reached your hand up, messaging his scalp gently. “Draco, talk to me.”

“It’s just been a long day.” Your concern further grew, knowing Draco hated the thought of people seeing him like this. He preferred these actions to happen in private, where his reputation didn’t have to be on the line.

“I haven’t seen you much today. What have you been doing?”

“… I just needed to do some individual studying for a bit. Father’s expecting me to have better grades this year.”

“I can help you study. We could do it together.”

“No, it’s alright.” The boy closed his eyes, leaning into your touch.

Suddenly, you heard somebody enter the Common Room again, turning your head to face the one and only Blaise. The boy grinned in amusement, placing a hand on his hip as he cockily grinned at the two of you.

“Tired, are we, Malfoy?”

“Shut up, Zabini, before I skin you.”

Your face relaxed as a small smile appeared- why were you even worried in the first place? Seeing the arrogent smile on Blaise’s face, the tired annoyance in Draco’s eyes… well, you knew that you had nothing to worry about. You doubted either of the two would ever change. You felt content, resting your head on top of Draco’s.

“Boys, cut it out.”

“Who are you to stop us, eh L/N?”

“You’ll see who when I shove a stick up your ass.”

Blaise let out a laugh, clearly not offended in the slightest. You smiled to yourself as you watched him make his way up to the Boy’s Dormitory, rolling your eyes with a huff as you watched him trip and almost fall.

“What a nuisance,” Draco mumbled, closing his eyes and crossing his arms against his chest.

You gently reached forward, taking one of his hands in your own. “You know he means well. He’s just a bit… eccentric.”

“Eccentric my ass.” Draco mumbled to himself softly, and the two of you slipped into comfortable silence.

You weren’t sure when either of you fell asleep.

All you knew was that night, you had the worst dream of your life. One where Draco lay dead outside of Hogwarts, the castle buried in darkness, and all of your friends with skulls tattooed on their arms.

#draco #draco one shot #draco x y/n #draco imagine #draco x reader #draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #harry potter #harry potter oneshots #fmh