#i’m tired from the bottom of my heart i am so tried and so done

[vintageshanny]

Officer Presley and the Librarian - Part 6 - Mark Me Up

Content: Big Daddy Elvis, a little angst, lots of fluff, lots of smut, 18+

Thank you to everyone who has let me know they love this story, it encourages me so much to keep going. ❤️ Link to series is at the bottom.

You stared into space as you stood behind the circulation desk, leaning forward to rest your elbows on the desk so you could relieve some of the strain on your back from standing for hours.  Your break time must be coming up soon.  Thirty more minutes, you thought as you looked at the clock.  Hardly anyone had come into the library today, and the time was dragging.  Knowing Elvis was supposed to get home from his tour today was making the seconds crawl even slower.  You still couldn’t believe how quickly he’d taken your heart and claimed it as his own.  After spending every second together those last few days before his tour, two weeks apart had left you feeling so empty.  It was like you had finally found this missing puzzle piece only for someone to rip it away and leave a gaping hole.  It was unsettling, how much you missed him.  Unfortunately, his phone calls had been a bit of an emotional roller coaster and did little to soothe you.  You tried to focus on how you’d get to see him in a few hours, but pieces of the conversations started replaying in your mind.

Night One

“Hello?” you answered the phone breathlessly on the first ring, despite having told yourself you should play it cool.  “Hey, baby, ya miss me yet?” Elvis’ deep voice boomed through the receiver, warming your soul.  “You have no idea how much, Elvis,” you whispered.  So much for playing it cool.  “Oh honey, that’s sweet of ya, I miss my widdle baby, too. I’m callin’ ya jus’ like I promised.”  You smiled at how he sounded proud of himself for remembering.  “Thank you, baby.  It means a lot to me.  I know you must be busy and tired,” you said.  “I am, honey, but I needed ta hear your sweet voice.”

Night Four

“Hello?” you mumbled groggily, looking at the clock.  It was one o’clock in the morning.  “Hi, honey, sorry ta wake ya up, but I wanted ta keep my promise.”  “I think we’re past that, you haven’t called in three days,” you blurted out before you could stop yourself.  “Honey, don’t be like that,” Elvis said warningly, and you could sense a hint of irritation in his voice, even in your half-asleep state.  “These shows get done late and I’m exhausted and I’ve been doin’ my best,” he added.  You could hear talking and laughing in the background.  “Too exhausted for a party?” you questioned.  “C’mon now, is this how it’s gonna be?  You naggin’ at me for doin’ my job?”  You reminded yourself that there were VIPs who came to these shows and expected to visit with Elvis afterward.  “No, sorry Elvis, I’m just tired,” you swallowed, trying not to let any tears fall.  Elvis sighed.  “S’okay, baby, I know, me too.  Jus’ get some sleep and I-I-I’ll call ya soon.”  

Night Nine

“Sweetheart, it’s me,” Elvis announced as if you might not recognize his voice.  “I know, silly,” you said quietly.  “Is everything okay?” he asked, seemingly forgetting all about your little argument the other night. You thought about how you’d cried yourself to sleep every night that he didn’t call.  “I guess so,” you whispered.  “Nah, honey, we’ve been through this, you ain’t a good liar,” he said.  “Tell daddy what’s wrong.”  “I’m just worried,” you started off.  “Worried about what dear?” Elvis asked, sounding concerned.  “Worried that you’re forgetting about me.  That you’re getting what you need from other people,” you said anxiously, nervous to hear his response.  “Whadda ya mean, what I need?” he questioned.  You weren’t sure if he was playing dumb or trying to protect you from the truth or just actually confused.  “Are there girls at these parties?  I mean, you told me before that it's hard for you to be alone, and I just keep thinking…” your voice trailed off, unable to say out loud what you keep thinking.  “Yeah, there’s always some girls around and fans wantin’ hugs and kisses, but I’ve said before they ain’t you.  I ain’t thinkin’ ‘bout nobody else but you, sweetheart.”  You sighed a little bit at the way he could be so sweet and comforting but also vague at the same time.  “But-” you started, and Elvis cut you off right away, as if he could sense what you were about to say.  “Honey, lemme make it clear to ya.  The things we do together, that’s jus’ for me and you.  I ain’t doin’ that with nobody else.  Ya need to stop lettin’ that mind wander off where it shouldn’t be goin.” Tears welled in your eyes at the relief of hearing that.  “I’ll try, baby,” you said.  “It’s just really hard.  I wish I could be there with you.  I wish I could see you perform,” you added.  “I wish you could too, baby.  I don’ like hearin’ ya all sad like this. Next time you’re comin’ with me, job or no job,” he said firmly.  “And I’ll be singin’ all the songs jus for you.  Especially the one about my little horn dog.  I mean hound dog,” he joked.  You giggled at that, feeling a bit better that he wanted you with him so much.

Night Thirteen

“Oooh, baby, I’m glad ta hear your voice,” Elvis said.  “I’m so exhausted, and I can’t wait ta see ya day after tomorruh.”  “I can’t wait either,” you said.  “So are ya feelin’ better from our conversation last night?” he asked.  You didn’t dare mention that it had been several days since that conversation, not wanting to ruin the mood again.  “I am feeling a little better, but I just miss you.  Sooo much.  Every part of you,” you lowered your voice seductively.  Elvis perked up at hearing that.  “Mmm tell me what ya miss about me, lil’ girl,” he drawled.  “I miss you touching me with those big strong hands,” you whispered.  “Yeah?”  Elvis breathed out.  “What else ya miss?”  “I miss you kissing me, putting your tongue on me and um, in me,” you said, starting to feel a little shy at saying these things out loud.  “Ohh, goddamn baby,” Elvis groaned.  “I miss that too.  What about Little Elvis?  Ya miss him?”  “Of course,” you responded.  “I alway miss him, I want him to fill me up, I feel empty without him,” you moaned a little, feeling your pussy throbbing at the thought of him.  “He misses you too.  He’s here with me right now, and he says my calloused hand just don’t feel as good as your warm wet mouth around him.”  

You were startled out of your thoughts by the realization that someone was leaning onto the counter across from you.  “‘Scuse me, miss, but can you help me find some books?” he said with a big grin.  “Elvis!  You’re back early!” you exclaimed excitedly, looking him up and down, taking in how handsome he looked in his dark suit with a red and gold design on the shoulders.  “I was just thinking about you,” you said, leaning in to give him a big kiss.  “I know what you were thinkin’ ‘bout, my naughty girl, I can see it all over your face,” he whispered in your ear.  You blushed at the way he could read you so easily.  “Now ya gonna get over here and give me a proper welcome after I rushed right here ta see my baby?” he asked with a smirk.  You poked your head in the back office and said, “Peggy, I’m going on my break, can you cover the desk?”  Then you made your way around the counter and gave Elvis a tight hug, inhaling his scent and savoring the way his soft belly pressed against you.

“Mmm, baby, ya tryin’ to suffocate me?” Elvis asked with a laugh.  “No, I just never want to let go of you,” you whispered, feeling a well of emotion build up as you grabbed Elvis’ hand and pulled him into the break room with you.  “I don’t want ya to either, honey, I missed ya so much.”  Elvis looked into your face and saw the tears starting to brim in your eyes.  “Baby, what’s wrong?  I thought you’d be glad ta see me,” he said, brushing away the tear that started to roll down your cheek.  “I am glad, Elvis, I just missed you,” you whispered.  “And you’ve been worryin’ about us again, haven’t ya?” he asked.  You nodded, wondering how he always knew what you were thinking.  “I didn’t know it would be this hard without you,” you admitted, brushing away a couple more tears. He pulled you into a hug and rubbed your back soothingly.  “Shh, s’okay honey, I’m home now.  You need to stop all this worryin’ and understand what a hold you’ve got on me.  I ain’t goin’ nowhere,” he reassured you, giving you a kiss on the forehead.  

You pulled back a little and wiped your eyes.  “I did write you something while you were gone,” you said.  Elvis’ face lit up.  “You wrote something?  For me?  What is it?” he asked eagerly.  “It’s just silly, a poem about how much I missed you,” you blushed.  “That’s not silly, lemme hear it!” he said excitedly.  “I don’t know, it’s not very good,” you said, suddenly feeling very nervous.  “Please, please, lemme hear it!” he said, tickling your sides as you started giggling. “Okay, but don’t laugh,” you warned.  Elvis chuckled as you reached into your bra and pulled out a folded up piece of paper.  “I don’t have any pockets,” you explained as you unfolded the paper and cleared your throat, your hands shaking a little bit.

“Whenever I start to ache and throb,

I wish Little Elvis was here to do his job.

I like to taste his soft sweet skin,

Before I bury him deep within.

I love it when he goes so deep,

I dream about him in my sleep.”

You glanced up from your poem to see Elvis’ mouth hanging open a little bit.  A big smile started to spread across his face, and you could tell he was trying to hold back his laughter.  “You said you wouldn’t laugh!” you exclaimed, your cheeks flushing bright red.  Elvis couldn’t contain himself any longer.  “I-I-I didn’t know this was g-g-gonna be an o-o-ode to my cock, baby!” he said, barely able to get the words out through his hiccupping laughter.  His laughing made you start to giggle too, and he pulled you in close.  “Baby, I really love it,” he said.  “Ya just took me by surprise.  I might have ta hire ya to write some dirty songs for me,” he chuckled.  “Very funny,” you tried to pout but couldn’t wipe the silly grin off your face.  “M-m-maybe somethin’ like ‘Funny How My Fingers Slip Away Up Into You,’” he said, his voice dropping a little bit as he pushed you up against the door of the breakroom and lifted your skirt up.  “Elvis, not here, what if someone, ohhhh,” you moaned as his fingers slid into the side of your panties and right inside of you.  “Well, hello there,” Elvis sang as he pumped his long fingers in and out of you.  “My, it’s been a long, long time.”  “It’s been too long,” you whispered.  “I needed you.”  You pulled him in for a kiss and slipped your tongue into his mouth as he rubbed your clit with his finger tip.  “Mmm,” you moaned softly into his mouth.  “Shh baby, gotta stay quiet, I don’t wanna get ya in trouble,” he said with a mischievous raise of his eyebrow.  He reached his other hand down the front of your blouse and fondled your breast as he continued stimulating you down below.  “Ohh,” you moaned as quietly as possible as you grabbed tightly at his oversized collar.  You could feel yourself about to explode.  “Mmm, that’s it baby, cum for daddy,” he gently talked you through your orgasm as your thighs quivered around his hand.  You let out a soft sigh as he pulled his hand out of your panties and licked his fingers.  “Even sweeter than I remember,” he grinned at you as you swatted him playfully.  “That’s no fair, I want to taste you, too,” you said, reaching for his package that you could tell was semi-hard.  “Mm-mm, not yet, baby.  I need to make sure he’s ready for what I have planned later,” he said with a wink.  “B’sides, we need ta get back ta work.”  “We?” you asked, confused, as you straightened your skirt and followed him out of the break room, wondering what he had planned.

As the two of you approached the circulation desk, Peggy’s jaw just about hit the floor.  “You’re, you’re…” she stumbled around, trying to find the right words.  Elvis took pity on her and extended his hand, the one that he had licked your juices off of not two minutes ago.  You could feel your face burning up.  “I’m Elvis Presley,” he announced to her.  Lucky for her, she was still too stunned to reach out and shake his hand.  He smiled and continued on.  “We’re done with our break, so we can take over again here.”  Peggy turned to you and hissed, “You didn’t tell me the new guy you were all gaga over was Elvis Presley!”  Elvis smirked as he pretended not to hear this.  You noticed Peggy’s eyes had lowered to your blouse and you glanced down to see that one of your buttons had come undone while Elvis had his hand in there.  You blushed and quickly fastened the button, shooting Peggy a look that said you’d explain all this later. You led Elvis back behind the desk as Peggy stumbled back to her office, still in a state of shock.  

“You gonna show me what to do back here, baby?”  Elvis asked, leaning in close to you.  “Well, when someone brings up a book to check out, we write their name here, and then we stamp the card inside the book with this date stamp.”  You showed him the ink pad and stamp, and his face lit up like a little boy, his mouth curving into his trademark crooked grin.  “How do I change the date?” he asked excitedly.  “We don’t need to change the date, it’s already set right,” you explained.  You saw the little pout on his face and showed him how the dials on the stamp moved.  He turned away from you a little bit as he fiddled with the stamp.  After he was satisfied, he pressed it onto the pad and then stamped you right on your arm as you jumped back in surprise.  “Now ya belong to me, I put my birthdate right on ya,” he said with a smile.  “I thought I already belonged to you,” you said with a wink that made him blush a little bit.  You loved seeing his little moments of vulnerability.  You changed one of the stamps to your birthday and pressed it right on his forehead.  “Hey!” he laughed.  “You’re gonna make me look crazy.”  “I had to make sure you belong to me too,” you smiled.  

As the two of you were joking around like a couple of teenagers, a lady who was probably in her 60s came up to the counter with a stack of books.  “Hello, ma’am,” Elvis said with a big grin.  “How can we help ya today?”  You rolled your eyes a little at his eagerness to help.  “Aren’t you a nice young man!” she smiled broadly at him, and you could see in his expression that he was delighted to be called a young man.  “I just need to check these books out.  Y’know, you look familiar,” she said as Elvis started stamping the books.  “Oh, I get that all the time,” he said.  “Just one of those faces, I guess.”  “Hmm,” she said, looking like she was still trying to place him.  “Well, have a nice day, sonny,” she said as she headed out, completely ignoring you.  “I think I might have some competition,” you said as she walked away with her books.  “Baby, I’ve told ya, ain’t no one could compete with ya.”  Elvis gave your butt a little squeeze as he wrapped you in a hug.  You were grateful the library was so empty today so no one could see you acting like a lovestruck fool at work.  

After a nice dinner with some of the guys and their wives at Graceland, where they regaled you with stories from the tour, Elvis led you up to the bedroom.  He seemed to have something serious on his mind.  “Honey, I-I-I w-wanted to talk to ya ‘bout somethin’,” Elvis said lowly, his stutter betraying his nerves about the conversation.  “What is it, Elvis?”  You could feel it coming.  You’d been having so much fun that you let your guard down and really fell hard.  Here’s where he would pull the rug out from under you and tell you that you weren’t good enough or special enough for him.  He could have any woman in the world, why would he want you? Those nagging thoughts came back into your head.  Elvis could see the worry etched all over your face.  “Hold on now, baby,” he pulled you in close.  “I can see I need to stop those wheels in your head from turnin’.  It’s nothin’ bad, it’s nothin’ bad, I promise,” he soothed you, pulling you in close to his chest.  You let out the breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding in and nodded.  “What is it then?”  “Well, see, I-I know you said you don’t wanna get pregnant, but I-I-I wanna really make love to ya right.  I wanna take care of ya, finish inside of ya, make ya feel so good,” he murmured, letting his long fingers run through your hair.  You looked up in surprise.  “But what if I, I mean what if we, um…” you stumbled your way through the sentence.  “We can figure that out if it happens, honey.  I mean, I wouldn’t really mind, I always wanted more kids, but maybe you don’t wanna have a baby with me?”  he asked quietly.  You could feel his breath hitch as he waited for your response.  “Oh, Elvis, it’s not that I don’t want a baby with you.  This is just all so fast.  Are you sure that’s what you would want?  I don’t want you to feel trapped with me.”  “Trapped?  Baby, I-I-I can’t even get enough of ya.  I want ya with me all the time.”  He stared into your eyes, begging you to understand what he was saying.  “I’m gettin’ old, honey.  I didn’t think I’d find love like this again that would make me wanna settle down and try at a family all over again.”  “You’re not old, Elvis,” you interjected, rubbing your hand against his warm chest.  Elvis chuckled, “You’re always so sweet ta me baby.  What I’m sayin’ is that I don’t wanna wait any longer to be happy.  You make me happy.  I love ya and I wanna be with ya always.”  You froze in place as his words hit you.  “You-you love me?” you whispered.  “Of course I do, sweetheart, can’t ya tell?”  “I love you too, Elvis,” you took his face in your hands and leaned up to kiss his soft sweet lips.  

“So can I do it baby?  Can I make love to ya how I want to?  Mark you as mine?” he whispered into your lips.  “Didn’t you already do that with the stamps today?” you teased holding up your arm.  Elvis chuckled, “That was jus’ the start honey.  I need to mark every part of you as mine.  He slid his hand up your skirt and stroked the inside of your thigh.  I want to mark you up like my favorite books.  You’ve seen what I do to those, baby.  I need to leave my notes in your margins,” his fingers slipped inside of your panties and gently brushed over your clit, causing a soft moan to escape your lips.  His long index finger slid inside of you, bending a little bit to find that sweet spot.  “I need to mark you up so that anyone who looks at ya knows for sure that you belong to me, that you were made for me,” his finger hit that spot that drove you wild.  “Oh, Elvis, baby, mark me up,” you moaned.  Elvis leaned in and bit down softly on your bottom lip as your pussy clenched around his finger, aching for more of him.  

“C’mere baby,” he whispered, leaning into you and pushing you gently back against the pillows.  He slowly unbuttoned your striped blouse as you laid your head back and stared up at his beautiful face, taking in the slope of his nose, the curve of his cheekbones, the way his eyelashes fluttered as he looked at you in awe.  He pushed your blouse off of your shoulders and reached around you to unhook your lacy bra.  Elvis smiled down at you as he noticed the way your nipples perked up the second the cool air of his room hit them.  He gave one a gentle tug between his fingers and leaned in to give it a lick with his warm tongue before lifting your hips a little bit so he could slide your skirt off, leaving you in just your panties, which were already soaked from how turned on you felt.  He stood up and started removing his own clothes as you watched with your heart racing in your chest.  You couldn’t help but smile as he tossed his shirt to the floor and unzipped his pants, letting them drop down to his ankles, exposing Little Elvis to you, who was starting to rise to the occasion.  

He smiled a little bashfully as he asked, “What’chu thinkin’ ‘bout right now, mama?”  “You really wanna know?” you said with a smile.  “I really wanna know, baby.  I always wanna know every part of you.”  “Well,” you started, “I’m thinking how lucky I am to have you.  How special you are, how sweet you are to me, how whenever I see you I don’t want to take my eyes off of you for a second, for fear that you’ll disappear like a dream.  Because you are a dream come true to me, baby,” you finished in a whisper, pulling him in close to you as he climbed back up onto the bed.  “Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea how good that makes me feel.  But I ain’t gonna disappear.  This is real,” he stroked your cheek gently with his thumb before leaning back and slowly pulling your panties down your legs.  He tossed them aside and spread your legs open with his large, strong hands.  “Goddamn honey you are so perfect, so perfect for me,” he swiped his fingers through your wet folds.  “I need to be inside ya, need to make love to ya so badly.”  “Mmm, daddy, I want that too,” you cooed to him as he hovered over you, lining his cock up with your entrance.  He thrusted up into you and you immediately moaned out his name as your body stretched to accommodate his thickness and length.  You wrapped your legs around him as his hips snapped slowly and rhythmically, thrusting into you repeatedly.  He was taking his time with you, and the pleasure was almost unbearable.  You reached up and brushed his sweaty dark locks off of his forehead as he stared directly into your eyes, into your very soul.  You’d never felt so connected to someone before.  He really was claiming every part of you as his own.  Elvis leaned his face down closer to yours and pressed his lips against your own, prodding into your mouth with his tongue, moaning into you with each thrust.  “I l-love ya so much, sweetheart,” Elvis’ words filled you with joy while he was filling you with the full length of his manhood.  You felt so overwhelmed physically and emotionally, a single tear rolled down your cheek as he continued his slow rhythmic attack on your pussy.  “Y-y-you okay, honey?” he whispered, kissing the tear off of your face.  “Yes, daddy, you just feel so good on top of me, inside of me, all over me,” you ran your fingers lightly over his back as you pulled him in even deeper.  “Mmm, honey, I’m not gonna last too much longer.  I-I’m gonna bring ya over the edge with me.”  Elvis reached down where your bodies were connected as one and rubbed his thumb over your clit.  Your legs started shaking uncontrollably as you heard yourself moaning his name out over and over again.  This level of pleasure was something you’d never experienced before.  As your orgasm burst through you in intense waves, you could feel Little Elvis pulsing inside of you.  Your pussy clenched around him, his seed filling you to the brim, spilling out of you.  “Oh, baby, goddamn, that feels so good,” Elvis moaned out in pleasure.  After the two of you had stilled your movements, you just lay there basking in the afterglow of such intense intimacy.  Elvis did not pull out of you but just laid his body down gently on top of yours, the weight of him like a security blanket protecting you.  You could feel him softening now inside of you as he gave you a gentle kiss and rested his head in the crook of your neck, his breath warm against your skin.  “Baby, I’m so happy you’re mine,” he whispered to you.  “In all ways, you’re mine forever.”

Tag List: @eliseinmemphis @18lkpeters @doll-elvis @elvispresleygf @artlover8992 @richardslady121 @thatbanditqueen @missmaywemeetagain @whositmcwhatsit @ellie-24 @be-my-ally @from-memphis-with-love @powerofelvis

#Elvis #big daddy elvis #elvis smut #elvis x reader #officer presley and the librarian #officer presley #i love this man

[dre6ming]

Living for the hope of it all

“I stayed there” series ~ part VIII

𓆩Masterlist𓆪

𓆩part VII𓆪

𓆩Part IX 𓆪

To be added to the tag list click here

Pairing: Austin Butler x fem reader

Warnings: smut 18+ <minors dni>, oral ( f receiving), fingering, cursing, strong language, body insecurities, alcohol, anxiety, angst, fluff…. Hope I got it all

Plot: how can you handle the paparazzi when you are just a regular girl? How can you let Austin fully in, when you think you aren’t worthy of him?

Word count: ~6500

Disclaimer: the article at the beginning is made up by me and I don’t believe any of what I said it there, but you get it, fiction . Also this is not proof read so please ignore any mistakes, I’m too tired to check for them now.

Is he still playing Elvis?

"The ‘Elvis’ actor , Austin Butler, is quick to jump from one girl to the next, similar to the king of rock and roll, the 30 year old actor seems to go through lovers so fast that the lines between each relationship blend.

Just the other day, Butler, was photographed in L.A. sharing steamy kisses with a mysterious girl. The two of them had a brief make out session in the stars car and then drove away together. These pictures come out at a time when the actor is still believed to be in a relationship with 20 years old, model Kaia Gerber.

Could Austin have gone too far in his role as Elvis? As we know Presley was a womanizer back in the day and was accused of many infidelities.

No official response has yet to come from Austin or Kaia and the mystery girl remains unidentified, but with how crazy the fans are over the whole ordeal we are sure that won't stay like this for long"

I feel the phone slipping from my hand, but the intercom in the airport announcing the flights, wakes me up and I clench my fingers around the device. This can't me real, but it sure as fuck is. Pictures of me and Austin kissing in his car, right before we drove out. My face is pretty much covered by my hair and Austin's hands, but as the article said, fans usually figure these things out, quite fast. My heart feels like it weights about 300 pounds in my chest. If my mom sees this, I'm done for. If they find out who I am, I'll have this all over me, paparazzi, crazy fans upset I took their chance. My whole career could be ruined. And what if the article speaks the truth, what if he lied? About him and Kaia? Oh god I'm so stupid. Fuck me!

I want to smash the phone on the pavement, jump on it and light it on fire. This article just destroyed everything and it reminded me I'm not enough. If I were a celebrity like him, this would've been water under the bridge, but I'm a commoner, I'm a nobody. I have to keep calm for today, this is Emma's and Betty's day, I have to be ok for them. I can fall apart after they leave for their trip to Bahli, tomorrow. I close the article and wonder if he's seen. Probably not yet, since it's 6am and he's probably sleeping.

Putting my phone on 'do not disturb' I put it at the bottom of my bag and scan the airport for Emma's black hair. Sure enough she's found me before I did her. Walking towards me with a huge smile, I try to fake my bast one for her, ignoring the sting in my eyes. "Emma, it's so good to see you!" I say hugging her tight. "I missed you to flower" as we pull apart and help her with the bags, I laugh at the nickname she gave me years ago. "So when is it going to happen, I can't wait" she squeals, clapping her hands. I stop in my tracks, face shocked. "What- what do you mean?" I ask.

Emma giggles shaking her head. "Come on, flower, you know Betty, she can't keep a secret if her life depended on it. She texted me a picture of the ring a moth ago, she thinks she grabbed my phone and deleted it before I saw, but the message popped up on my computer as well." Letting out a shaky laugh, putting a hand over my heart, I keep on walking towards the car. "I should have known" we laugh as we load her bags in my car. "Yeah, she tried really hard, so don't tell her I know" Emma begs, buckling herself in the passenger seat. "I won't" and as realization hits me, I look at her smiling. "Does this mean, you'll say yes?" Tears of joy gather in my eyes as she nods her head, whipping away some tears as well. We hug tightly and cry together. At some point I don't know it I'm crying happy tears for them or bitter tears for me, but when we bring ourselves back together, I feel so much lighter.

Turning on the car and backing out of the parking lot, I turn the radio on. "So we kinda have to stay away from Betty and the apartment for the whole day" my fingers drum against the steering wheel with the beat of the music. "And our first thing in the list is breakfast." Emma giggles in her seat. "Can I pick where we eat?" She asks and I nod approvingly. "Anywhere that has mimosas, I was told to bring you in slightly buzzed." Throwing her head back laughing, she puts the directions in my gps.

The place she chose is sweet and small, it has those L.A. vibes of nature, fairytale cafe. We order and enjoy a good breakfast, over some juicy gossip about some of her colleagues as well as some of mine. She tells me about the job at the D.A.'s office, Emma is excited to finally score a secure job since finishing law school over a year ago. I tell her about my new cat and she begs me to take her over to the apartment real quick so she can meet the fur ball. I of course decline and tell her she and Betty will have the place all to themselves tonight and she can enjoy meeting Boots later.

After breakfast we drive to the mall, she insists on buying new outfits for the both of us. "We need to look fabulous in my engagement photos, no way are we going to wear something old." Her wish is my command today, so I bite my tongue accepting my fate. If you know Emma, you know, fashion is her favorite thing in the world, so it takes us no less then 4 hours to find something to wear. A blush pink short dress for me, with a decent amount of cleavage showing, but still modest and a champagne gold sequence strappy dress for her. Both are beautiful and suit us perfectly, they are elegant, yet not to over the top, but still not sure if they worth 4 hours of dressing and undressing.

For lunch we decide to eat at the mall and share a pizza. "So what about you, do you have a thing?" Emma asks and I lift a single brow at her. "I don't" as soon as the words leave my mouth, they stab me in the gut. Just a few hours ago me and Austin advanced to the status of boyfriend and girlfriend, but now that I wonder if I'm just a side kick, a curiosity, I can't think of us like that. "Why does it sound like there's more to that?" I try to hide my discomfort with a giggle, drinking some water. "Because you're a lawyer and you are used to reading into everything?" I try to reason with her, but I know she said that, because I'm an open book when it comes to feelings. "Plus today is about you!" I say hoping that she would drop it. Closing her eyes and putting her arms up in defense she gives up on the topic.

We decide best way to kill some more hours is to just go and watch a movie. I have to clench my fists and bite back my fight as she suggests that we go watch Elvis, since the movie is still in cinema and she hasn't seen it. Emma doesn't know about Austin, I mean she knows about Austin my ex, that broke my heart, but she doesn't know it's the same Austin, that's stareing me down form the Elvis movie poster. He's barely recognizable, jet black hair and sideburns, chin up, looking confidently at the camera. Sometimes I really wish that I could hate him, Ive tried but that's just something I couldn't do, my heart knows what the truth is.

Shaking my head I look away from the poster as Emma comes up with the tickets in hand, giggling like a little kid. "Ok child, let's go, I'll buy you a lollipop" I say patting her back. After the lollipop is bought, we walk inside the cinema and take our spots. Anxiety I bubbling in the pit of my stomach, as the intro starts, knowing I'll be watching two and a half hours of Austin dressed as Elvis.

When the movie ends I find myself once again crying, because I know that the Austin who made this masterpiece is not the fit for me, he needs more, he always needed more. It hurts that I let him back in my life, it hurts that I wanted him back and I can't have him. I try to collect myself and walk out of the cinema, listening to Emma babbling about the movie and how much she loved it. I'm walking and I'm talking, but it feels like I'm not there. I've only felt like this once in my life, after...well by now we all know, after what.

Me and Emma quickly change outfits in the mall's bathroom and she does a little makeup number on both of us. She takes a couple of mirror selfies and we are on our way. The drive to the dinner where the engagement will take place, is filled with laughter and singing. When we get there we are both in hysterics, laughing so hard you can probably hear us for miles away. "Come on lets turn you into a mrs" I say and grab Emma by the hand, walking her in.

After a beautiful speech and some more crying, everyone is enjoying some champagne, before the cake. Betty approaches me, her smile is huge and contagious. "So I don't want to rain on your parade, but as I was getting the apartment ready for my night with Emma, thanks by the way for letting us use it." I wave her off. "Just wash the sheets after" she laughs blushing, getting a bit lost in thought, probably about their unholy activities that are to come. "Sure, sure, but as I was saying, I was busy getting the apartment ready, when a certain blonde dude knocked on the door. He looked like he had been crying and to be honest I think he was still in his pajamas. Anyway he asked for you, said you aren't answering any of his texts or calls." My hand start to sweat and I have to grab the champagne glass a little harder for it not to slip out of my grasp. "Ok, and what did you say?" I ask clearing my throat, hoping to rid of the lump there, but it doesn't work. "I told him, you were out busy the whole day. He then asked when he could come back to talk to you and I said you're spending the night over at your parents. He didn't say anything more and than left thanking me." I nod, brushing some hair behind my ear. "Ok" Betty looks concerned at me. "What happened? I was asleep last night when you came back, but you seemed happy this morning." I shake my head, tonight , is her night, not mine, we can drop me for now. She gets that without having me say it and drops the subject for now.

Hugging her and Emma I say my congratulations and walk out to my car. I'm tired as it is and I have a two hour drive ahead of me, from the dinner to my parents house. I try not to think about anything else other than driving safe. When I get home, using my spare key I get in. All the lights are out, which means that my parents are sleeping, so as quietly as I can, I make my way to my bedroom. Taking a quick shower kinda helps me, but still there's a undeniable ache in me. Coming back to my room dressed in a towel I open the balcony door to let some fresh air in and then quickly changing into my pajamas.

Slipping into bed and turning off the bedside lamp, I try to sleep, but I can't. As preoccupied as I am with my own thoughts, the sound of footsteps outside my window, makes the hairs stand up on my arms. Leaving o the ground floor it's easy to climb in and out of my bedroom, over the balcony. Grabbing whatever I find on my nightstand to use as a weapon, I make my way out in the balcony. I almost let out a scream, before the figure climbing the balcony, lunched forward and covers my mouth with their hand. I try to hit the person with what I took from my nightstand, but they are faster and catch my arm, before I can even touch them. A chuckle escapes the person and I recognize it immediately, but my body is still on alert mode. "Oh fuck, no, (y/n), it's me, it's Austin, don't cry! I'm sorry."

Slowly the hand holding my arm, from hitting him, comes down to my waist and the hand covering my mouth, cups my cheek. I let out a shaky breath and try to relax a bit in his arms. "Shh, all this time and you still haven't gotten any better at self defense, baby!" He chuckles and I look at my hand to see that I'm holding a hairbrush, not a very effective weapon. I get out of his arms, suddenly annoyed at his presence. Walking back in my room I sit on the bed and put the hairbrush down. "Can we talk?" He asks whispering. "You need to go, if my mom-"

"No, we need to talk, you've been dodging my calls and text, I know you must of read that piece of shit" he says brushing his hands through his hair. "Was it?" I ask and he looks confused. "Was it what?" Austin asks, I like that he's keeping the distance between us, it's easier to think if I don't have his arms around me. "A piece of shit? Because I don't know-"

"Know what?" He interrupts me, his voice raising a bit. "Keep your voice down!" I scold him. "I can't have that Austin, I'm a regular person, I will work a regular job, where I'll have to help people. I can't have paparazzi chasing me and fans trying to tag me down." I say and I can see that every word hurts him, but I don't know if it's because he knows I'm right or because he disagrees. "I know, I should've been more careful, I'm sorry." He tries to come closer but I don't let him, putting a hand up to stop him. He falls to his knees a few steps in front of me. "It's not your fault, I'm just not what you need. Maybe you can fix this, you know, call the model back, try and make it work with her, she'd be-" he grabs my small hands in his, clutching them to his chest, blue eyes pleading with me in the dark. "No, don't, please, she's not you. I beg you (y/n), don't do this to me, not over a gossip page headline." I close my eyes. I can't look at him like this, it hurts too much.

"You were right to break up with me, I would've only hold you back-" my voice breaks as a sob makes it's way through my mouth. "Not true, if you were there, I wouldn't have spend the past 7 months since I've been done with the movie, in therapy, constantly trying to reach back to who I was. When I'm with you I'm the best version of myself." I try to take my hands out of his, but he's so much stronger and he pulls me off the bed onto his lap. Wiggling around to get away from him, I give up when his strength overwhelms me. "Austin I can't love you again, I'm afraid I'm not enough!" I say trying to keep quiet. My mom walking in on this is the last thing I need right now. "You are so much more than enough, it's my fault for not making it clear enough, but I don't want a girl who knows how to deal with the media, I want my girl, my girl who always makes me laugh. My girl who always teaches me new things. My girl who can't cook to save her life, but is the biggest culinary critic I've ever met. My girl who can talk you into loving the same things as her, because she has such a way of making everything sound 10 times better than it is. My girl who can recite the whole Taylor Swift discography in one breath. My girl who's touch I crave all the time, who's lips taste like oranges and who's hair smells like propolis and burnt pear. All I've ever wanted is my girl and that girl is you!"

I look into his eyes, his face is tilted up and tears are slowly rolling down each side. My mouth opens and closes, I can't speak, I think I've lost that ability. No one's ever spoken like that about my. I bring my head down and kiss his tears away, taking care of each cheek, making sure they're equally loved. Then I make my way to his lips. I hover there a moment, keeping our lips close, but not close enough to touch. Austin is frozen in place, his hands holding mine close to his chest, eyes closed and lips slightly open. I touch my lips to his, both of us sighing into the kiss. Neither of us moves and we just stay like that, lips touching moving over one another. It's slow, full of emotions, my heart is pounding in my ears, my stomach hurts and all of my muscles feel petrified. But then his hands let go of mine and hug my back, bringing my chest flush with his. I tangle my fingers in the soft locks of hair on his head. The kiss becomes fluid, hands are everywhere, touching everything, pulling at clothes and giving goosebumps everywhere they touch skin.

I put my arms around his neck and hug him tightly, hiding my face in his neck. Austin's breath is coming in short gasps as he holds onto me. "I want you!" I say breathless. I wait for him to respond, but he doesn't. Struggling, I concentrate on his still shallow breath to keep me sane. "Are you sure?" Austin speaks so low I have to make an effort to hear. "Yes!" I'm sure, I need him. I want him. I'm done of holding back, I'm done questioning everything. "I believe you Austin and as much as I try to fight it, I know that I can't ever leave you." His lips crash against mine, kissing me hungrily and there was raw emotion in the way his fingers curled around my waist, pulling me closer if that was possible. Heat rose up to my chest and all my senses unfurled as the taste of him nearly silenced all my thoughts. Nearly, because the sudden thought that we're still in my childhood bedroom with my mom sleeping down the hall, washes over me like cold water.

"Wait!" I push against his chest and he looks at me panting, pupils blown with lust and lisp red from all the kissing. "What's wrong?!" Austin is panicked, scared of what made me stop. I smile viciously and I see him relaxing a bit. "My mom is sleeping down the hall, we can't, not here at least" there's a glimmer in his eyes as the last few words leave my lips. He chuckles and pushes some of his hair back. "Wanna run away?" I laugh and cover my mouth to make sure I keep quiet. But as I look at him I see that his serious, not an ounce of joke on his features. "You're serious?" I ask and the breath gets caught in my chest when he grinds me over his hips. "Serious as I'll ever be. If this is what you want?" One of his hands stroked my hair as he starts to kiss my skin, leaving a warm feeling everywhere his lips touched. I tremor at his actions and I move my hips against his, moaning before I can stop myself. "Yes, please!" I say out of breath, like I just ran a marathon. I feel him smile against my skin and when he giggles his hot breath fans over my exposed skin. "Ok, come one!"

Austin gets up and pulls me with him. He starts walking to the balcony and I follow him, but then I remember I need my things. "Wait, I need my things." I say as I move frantically around the room, trying to rid it of any evidence that I was here. With my arms full, I drop half of what I'm carrying in his arms. "Ok, you ready?" He asks smirking at me. Nodding, I wait for him to jump over and then he helps me do the same. As stealthy as possible we sneak to his car, but before I get in, I remembered my own car. "I need to drive my own car, they can't know I was here!" I whispered. His brows draw together in confusion. "Didn't they see you when you came?" I shake my head. "They were asleep, I only got here like an hour ago." I explain and he just nods. "Ok, just drive close behind me, all right?" I nod and go to my car, getting in with shaky limbs. I take a minute to breathe and then I hear Austin's car start, so I do the same with mine to make sure I can keep up, even though I know where he lives, right now I need to be as close to him as possible. I can't believe this is really happening, but there's no one else I could've seen myself doing this with.

Thankfully he doesn't live too far away from my parents house and it's just a 15 minute drive. I can't park my car faster and I almost scream at my stupid seatbelt, for not unbuckling fast enough. I get out of the car at the same time as him and I walk up to him, making an effort to stop myself from running to him. Austin's hands catch my face and I hug his waist. It's a mess of lips meeting teeth and tongue. My knees go weak and my skin feels like it's on fire, despite the chilly air outside. His hands travel down my body and reach the back of my thighs. "Jump!" He takes his lips away from mine for long enough to say that and then his back, calming my mouth again hungry and intense. I do as told and jump up , wrapping my leg around his waist. I'm so caught up in the feeling of his arms wrapped around my frame, that I don't feel is move until my back meets a wall and the cold seeps through my thin tank top making me shiver. "Fuck, I have to unlock the door" I laugh at how angry it makes him, that he as to stop what we're doing to do something as simple as unlocking the door.

I start to get off of him, but his hands hold my legs in place and he shakes his head. "Stay!" He says. I feel one of his hands move to the front of his pants. Austin grunts in frustration when the key doesn't seem to want to fit in the hole. "Fucking shit!" He curses under his breath and I giggle at him. Putting my hand over his shaking one, I help him put the key in the hole and in a second the door is unlocked and slammed open. "What would I do without you?" He asks smiling up at me. "Fuck on the front porch?" I say shrugging my shoulders. "Someday, sure, you just wait!" I'd laugh if he didn't look so serious right about now. I feel his chest shake with laughter as he wraps his arms around my waist to hold me close as he walks inside, closing the door behind him. "I wouldn't laugh if I were you Butler, I might take you out on that" I whispered in his ear and his whole body gets tense. "Such a tease, who would've thought." He says clicking his tongue. I giggle pressing my lips to the shell of his ear.

When we get to his bedroom he slowly crawls on the bed, with me tightly wrapped around him. Then my back hits the fluffy bed and it all feels so real. He must of felt that I was worrying, because he turns my face to look at him. "We go as far as you want, ok? You have the lead here, baby. I'm all yours!" He says kissing the top of my nose, making my heart skip a beat. I nod and bring him in for a kiss, his body resting over mine, bringing in a new kind of warmth. I feel safe and hungry, but not hungry for food, hungry for his touch, for him to melt into me. Before I become aware of my fingers, they had already slipped under his shirt, feeling his skin, soft and radiating heat.

I gasp at the feeling of his hips slowing moving against mine. "Ah, Austin, please!" I say moving his shirt up so I can finally bare his chest. His lips trail kisses from the corner of my mouth, over my jaw, down my neck, stopping there a little longer to suck and lick, making me move under him, trying to get my hips to meet his. I can feel him through his sweatpants and when his crotch grinds over mine, is hypnotic, the feeling building in my lower belly. When his calloused hands move under my top, raising it up, my breath picks up, his mouth is busy leaving open-mouthed, soft-lipped kisses over the tender flesh of my shoulder. Before the material goes up, over my breasts his stops. "Can I?" He ask and I somehow manage to moan a breathy 'yes'.

When Austin throws the garment somewhere in the room and I'm bare in front of him, I try to cover myself, but he stops me. "You are you beautiful, please never hide from me, (y/n)." He goes back to planting wet kisses all over my shoulder and then he slowly moves down. My hands fly up to his hair, as he sucks one of my nipples in his mouth. It's feels so good, I throw my head back and moan, pulling on his hair. He growls against me and I feel the vibrations rummage in my chest. One of his hands is holding my hips in place, while the other massages the breast that's not in his mouth, twisting the nipple in between the rough pads of his fingers. "Austin, baby, feels so good!" I hum, drunk on the pleasure. His mouth switches places with his hand, showing both of my breasts the same kind of love. "You make such pretty noises." He moans against my nipple and I fight his grip, to grind my hips up into him. "Please!" I'm begging for his to do more, to touch me more. I can feel him smile and I tug his hair.

Austin leaves open-mouthed kisses all over my stomach and when he reaches my shorts, hooking two fingers in the waist band, he looks up at me. His eyes are so full of lust, there's barely any blue left. "I'm going to take these off, can I?" I nod frantically, brushing the hair out of my face. "Yes, please!" I pant. He takes them off slowly, along with my panties. Getting off of the bed, he takes off my shoes, which I still had on and then starts to undress himself. I look away, feeling my cheeks burn. "Don't look away, look at me." I look at him, but I keep my eyes fixed on his. That is of course until he moves down to take his own shoes off and discard the pants and boxers, that pooled at his feet. Wow, he's beautiful, all of him. Sure I've seen men naked before, I'm going to be a doctor, so anatomically the human body is no mystery. But I've never felt like this like I want to touch and memorize every inch of him, like I want to know the way every patch of skin feels under my lips.

He climbs on top of me, hands holding my waist, and lips hungrily engulfing mine. I can feel him hard against my belly and I move under him, causing my skin to touch his penis. He moans into the kiss. "I want to kiss you here." He says, one of his big hands cupping my pussy. I shudder at the new sensation, bucking against his hand. "Yes, please, Austin" licking his lips he moves down my body, hooking my legs over his shoulders, grabbing my thighs to keep them open. The position suddenly makes me feel nervous and shy, so I try to close my legs but he won't allow it. Feeling me move his eyes snap up at me. "You ok? Do you want me to stop?" I shake my head, trying to find the right words to say. "No, just, I'm not pretty Austin, it's just, you looking at me like this, what if, I mean, I'm not-" I can't make sense of what I'm saying but he understands. "You are the most beautiful girl, (y/n), I love every bit of you. I love you belly" he goes over to kiss my belly, grazing the skin with his teeth and making me giggle at the ticklish feeling. "I love you thighs" he says and moves to kissing over my hip all the way to my inner thighs. Making me squirm underneath his touch. Austin is kissing, biting and licking everywhere, everywhere, but where he promised. "Austin please!" I whine, buckling my hips up.

First I feel his hot breath and then I feel his soft, warm lips, kissing and sucking. Then his hot tongue licks at me. I whimper, pulling at his hair with one hand, the other one, grabbing the sheets. "So sweet, keep making those pretty noises baby, you sound heavenly." He praises me, going back to continue his ministrations on me. His tongue flicks and twirls around my clit, driving me crazy, turning me into a moaning mess. I feel one of his sleek fingers play at my hole and then he pushes it slowly. I move against him, trying to feel more. Austin catches onto my frustration and easing a second finger in, he gives me a moment to adjust to the stretch. "So tight and sweet, such a lovely pussy, all mine." I grunt as he curls his fingers up, moving them in and out of me, sucking and licking at my clit. It's all too much, it's so good and intoxicating. My hips buckle to meet his moves. The knot forming in my lower belly, feels like it's closer to snapping, I get tense, this is all new for me. "Relax baby, you're going to cum, come on, don't hold back" Austin says as the hand that was preoccupied with holding my hips in place, moves up to my boobs, pinching my nipples. That's when I feel it, the knot snapping and everything around me going blurry. I bite the back of my hand to stop myself from screaming. As I pull in his hair he moans against me as he's still playing with my clit, slowly moving his fingers to help me ride my high.

Pulling his fingers out of me, the empty feeling makes me whine, as I clench around nothing. Austin licks his fingers clean as he moves over to the nightstand to get a condom out of the drawer. Coming back over me, he sits on his knees in between my legs. "Want to help me?" He ask, and I snap my eyes, that were previously looked on his hard cock, up at his face. He's smiling at me and that somehow eases my nerves. I nod and he takes my hand by the wrist, guiding it to his length. "Just, wrap your hand around it" I do as he says and look at the muscles in his abdomen move. Guiding my hand up and down, he moans, throwing his head back and cursing. My heart flutters knowing I can make him feel like this. His hand leaves mine and I move on my own as he opens the condom. Putting the condom on his tip he speaks. "Pinch the tip of the condom and roll it down slowly, it's ok if you get it wrong, I have more." He laughs as he finishes the sentence. With all the concentration I can muster I do as he says. "Perfect!" His hand grabs my chin and tilts it up so I look at him.

Austin kisses me slowly, pushing me against the bed, caging me. One of his hands is holding him up so that he's not crushing me under his weight and the other moves between us to bring himself up to my entrance. I can fell the tip resting there and he puts his hand on my hip to stop me from thrusting into him. "Are you sure you want this? We can stop, if-" I kiss him to stop the unnecessary babbling. "I love you, I'm sure." He tenses up and brings his face up to look at me. "You what?" He ask unsure that what he heard was real. I stroke his face gently. "I love you! I don't think I've ever stopped" he blinks quickly and even I the dark I can see the tears welling up in his eyes, but then I feel the hot liquid touch my face and roll off of my skin. His lips ghost over mine, I can taste the salt in his tears and the sweetness of him. He pulls away quickly, too quick. "Say it again." He demands and I smile. "I love you" he kisses me shortly and starts pushing in. "Again” he grunts. I moan feeling him slowly stretch me, it's definitely a lot more than his fingers and it stings a lot, but somehow there's pleasure in the pain. "I love you" kiss "I love you!" Kiss.

We go like this until his all the way in and his pelvis hits mine. It's hurts a lot and I try to breathe through it. Austin kisses my face, my lips, my eyes, my nose, everything. "I love you too, you're doing so good for me, baby" I squeeze him and his hips flutter against mine. Feeling him move  brings a new kind of good to the mixture. "Move please." He pulls back slowly and then pushes back in, I feel so full and my walls hug him in. "God, so warm and perfect, made for me (y/n)" he huffs as he starts a steady pace. We move in sink, hips meeting halfway way and hands grabbing all that they can. "I love you, fuck this is so good!" I moan kissing him, walking my tongue over his lips. He gasps into my mouth and our tongues start to dance, battling for dominance. The knot from earlier comes back and I feel like I need more. "Aus, I'm close, more, please, shit!" He starts to move faster, covering my mouth with his, to swallow all my cries. Austin brings one hand between us and draws circles over my clit. "Cum for me, (y/n), come on baby!" He whispers in my ear and biting down on his shoulder, my orgasm wishes over me harder then before. His hips start to lose rhythm and his moves get sloppier, as he soon stills. Austin grunts and kisses over my shoulder as I feel him twitch inside me, while my walls still flutter around him, squeezing him, from my previous orgasm.

I feel so good, so warm and tired and when he moves over, to go into the bathroom, I shiver at the absence of his body on mine. He comes back with a towel in hand and he wipes it over my thighs, making me tremble, since I'm still sensitive there. When he’s done, Austin throws the towel somewhere in the room and moving me up on the bed he brings the coves over me. He joins me under the warm duvet and I hug his side. The feeling of his skin on mine must be the best thing I've ever experienced. "I love you!" I say sleepy as he strokes my hair with one hand, his other one moving up and down my upper arm. "I love you too!" He kisses the top of my head. "So does this mean I can still take you out tomorrow?" He mumbles against my hair.

I shake my head and as serious as I can I say "No, I just wanted you for the sex." His chest moves with laughter and the sound fills me up with joy. "Flattered to be at your service, ma'm!" Austin says making me giggle and bury my face in his shoulder. "Ok I may allow, one date, if you make me your famous breakfast tomorrow" his hands move me to lay on top of him, with my legs straddling his waist. I sit my head in the palms of my hands on top of his chest and look at him smiling. "Just one date?" Austin asks coming in for a kiss, but I pull my head back so he can't reach my lips. "Maybe, if the breakfast is extremely good, there will be more, than one!" One of his hands goes to the back of my head and as we both laugh we meet halfway in a quick kiss.

I remain like this on top of him, as his hands rest on my back. I play with his hair and rest my head on his chest, over his heart, listening to the beautiful sounds it makes. Our breaths calm down and soon sleep catches both of us. And we fall asleep like this, skin on skin, my ear over his heart, my hands his hair and his lips kissing my head. It's perfect, it's how it should've always been, just us.

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[littleperilstories]

The Prince of Thieves: I Think I Need a Sunrise, I'm Tired of the Sunset

Mood Boards | Chapter Titles | Also on A03! | Playlist | Story Intro

Warnings: Angst, self-doubt

If you want even MORE angst for this chapter, consider playing Playlist Roulette for some emo vibes:

[possible spoilers] Song 1 / Song 2 / Song 3 / Song 4 / Song 5

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Word count: 1739 || Approx reading time: 7 mins

I Think I Need a Sunrise, I'm Tired of the Sunset

Teaser: Out there, leaking through those gaps in the curtain, is the sun, the world, the life I thought I might never get to see. A life I’m only just lucky enough to be facing now. I want to be thrilled, I want to feel safe, I want to be grateful. One thought, however, beats me black and blue from the inside.

Bree

When Spider—no, her name is Colette, what a beautiful name—disappears, I leave Jamie to talk with Allan, who is skittish now about a million different things. About making the musket wound worse; about the constables coming after him, too; about the fact that he inadvertently joined a gang in his act of betrayal against Bulwell, Hatchett, Michaelson, and the rest; and probably about more stealthy intruders sneaking in through his window to threaten him with a knife.

I suppose I can’t blame him.

Silently, I leave them to argue about whether Jamie should take whatever tincture Allan gave him earlier, something to dull his senses and ease his pain. Jamie is staunchly trying to refuse it, insisting he doesn’t want to be unconscious or out of it when he and Will are reunited. So far, he is winning that dispute, but Allan seems confident he will prevail in the end—once Jamie actually tries to move and fully understands what it feels like to pull on the musket wound. I hope Allan does get his way, because every time I look at Jamie, I cringe, remembering what I said and wondering why I decided to say it, and every time he looks at me, I can’t imagine his thoughts are very charitable.

Trying to forget for a just a few moments how exhausted—and embarrassed—I am, I curl up by the front window, relishing the sliver of light that peeks through Allan’s drawn curtains. The rain, it seems, has stopped now, and some tenacious streak of sunlight has managed to break through the earlier clouds. The gentle light is comforting, but not enough to calm me. To caln the frantic fluttering of my heart and the churning of my stomach and the boiling in my chest at the thought of what comes next.

Reunited. Altogether. Off to Colette’s family home, to the others, to Will.

The curtains are old, tattered at the bottom and moth-eaten throughout. The longer I sit there, trying to even my breath, I find more ragged holes letting in the fading light. I count them—One. Two. Three. On and on.

Out there, leaking through those gaps in the curtain, is the sun, the world, the life I thought I might never get to see. A life I’m only just lucky enough to be facing now. I want to be thrilled, I want to feel safe, I want to be grateful. One thought, however, beats me black and blue from the inside.

I don’t belong here.

It’s true, isn’t it? When Jamie, Colette, Geoff, and I were united with the common goal of getting Will out of prison, our alliance made perfect sense. Their family was torn apart, and I was able—I wanted—to help in reuniting them.

Now, in a few short hours—if that—their family will be stitched back together; perhaps the threads are a little frayed, perhaps some repairing needs to be done, but they’ll be whole again.

They don’t need me anymore, and more than that, why would they want me? I am the one who just tried to pick a fight with a wounded man, hours after he almost died, over something that didn’t even have to do with me. I am the one who brought Hatchett right to that cabin in the woods and nearly ruined things for everyone. I am the one who gave Hatchett the bit of information he needed to see through Will’s lies.

Jamie needed me to get Will, then Will needed me to get Jamie, and now Colette will bring them together, and perhaps it’s best for everyone that my presence is no longer needed at all.

Of course, I heard what she said—that Allan and I should both go as well. Never mind that it was an afterthought, something blurted out after she barely even looked at me. It’s more than that. Something about the very idea threatens to splinter me into pieces.

Throwing myself upon the mercy of these strangers—the thought makes my skin crawl. For so long I just had myself; I didn’t need to rely on the charity of others. If I go with Colette, though, I will owe her for her kindness, when I’ve only just repaid Will and Jamie for saving me. I’m not sure I want another debt hanging over my head.

It’s mostly that single prickling thought, though: there’s no real reason for me to stay. Whether I’m here or not, their lives will heal. Go back to the way they were before Will was caught. For them, each new day will dawn kinder and gentler and happier than the one before, until the darkness of our time in prison is nothing more than a tragic memory.

To know that I was only ever a side character in the story of these brothers, to accept that Baden Hatchett’s words are once again true—You aren’t important to them, either—threatens to leave a hole in my heart.

—

Not long after my father died, a few days at most, when he was cold and buried and finally, finally, out of my life, a man named Baden returned to keep his word—a promise that had been made long ago, when things were different. When my family still had money. When I was still a respectable girl. He looked at me with distaste, but at the time, at least, he was willing to hold himself to the agreement he’d made.

“We’ll wed next week,” he said. “You will come with me.”

Next week? I had just escaped from under Father’s thumb; now here was Baden Hatchett, ready to crush me beneath his.

“I’d rather wait,” I said. “It’s too fast. Too early. I…”

He scoffed. “That isn’t for you to decide.”

“What do you mean, it’s not for me to decide? How—”

Even now, I can still hear some of what he said in answer. How dare you argue with me? Don’t you know your place? You think you have any say in this? You know I’m doing you a favour, right? You understand that? You’re the one who needs me. I don’t need you.

Only once did he touch me after my father’s death—just a hand wrapped around my arm as he ordered me out of the shabby apartment where Father had died and into his home. That grip, the first shackle he ever locked me into—it was a message, a reminder that I was his and would remain so until I was dead. Later, upon my skin, I found bruises in the shape of fingerprints, purple and throbbing.

It was nothing less than hatred that fuelled every step that night when I crept from the house, never to return. I slid along the floor in stocking feet, terrified of every floorboard and how it creaked, the bolt and how it scraped, my breath and how it gasped loud enough to fill the air, my heart and how it pounded in my chest, threatening to shake his home to rubble.

Perhaps it was luck, perhaps fate, perhaps a goddamn miracle. He heard nothing. He slept through my escape, and I made it outside. It was out of spite as much as precaution that I left the front door wide open, an invitation for moths and spiders and rats, for some other unfortunate creature to invade his house and take my place as some spineless, obedient thing that he could squash beneath his boot.

Today, however…

It isn’t hate, I think, that fuels this escape. In fact, it is perhaps something quite the opposite.

James Wardrew falls asleep while he waits, senses dulled and pain softened in the wake of the doctor’s victory, and Allan Armstrong Dale busies himself with choosing which possessions he wishes to bring into his new life as an outlaw—as he now wryly calls himself. While they are both distracted, I pinch a pen and some paper from Allan’s desk. He’s got an odd assortment of things strewn across its disorderly surface: coins and sheets of music and buttons and other bits, too, that might be of some value, at least. Surely things he will not miss.

My cruel, wicked imagination whispers things to ink onto the page. I should free these sentiments today, it murmurs, so I can live my life without the stinging regret of things unsaid. If I immortalize my thoughts on this page, if I say what’s in my heart, Will Wardrew might look back at them and remember me without disgust or hurt or betrayal. At the very least, maybe he will remember me with a sense of peace.

Maybe he will remember me as I will remember him.

It whispers to me that I should tell him he was the only thing that made my prison cell bearable. Tell him, it murmurs, how you fear Hatchett will never give up. Tell him that you don’t want another constable to lay hands on him ever again.

Tell him, it hisses. That I don’t want him to have to look at my face and remember every moment of suffering he went through with me. Because of me.

That I wish him health and happiness.

Tell him how you get a peculiar feeling at the thought of never seeing him again. Tell him that it makes leaving so much harder. Tell him that strange feeling is why you must leave. Tell him this is for the best.

In the end, I write very little.

In the end, it is mostly an empty page.

Goodbye, I think, but I cannot say the word out loud. Jamie still sleeps. Allan is fussing with his medicines. Will…

Will, I can only hope, is all right.

Goodbye, and thank you, and I’m sorry.

The wind is bitter when I slip out the door. I will have to find a few more clothes from somewhere if I am to survive the cold. No matter. I’ve done this before. I can do it again.

Into the wintry dusk. Into streets full of constables, of strangers who would turn me in, perhaps go running straight to Hatchett if they knew. Into a new life, a new town, a new name. Into a second chance.

I’m on my own, but that is nothing to fear. It means that this life—this new life—is mine. And mine alone.

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Here's the full list of songs, whose lyrics range from "vaguely match the vibe" to "nauseatingly on the nose." Enjoy!

Boston / I Will Remember You / Dare You to Move / On My Own / Bleed / Tongue Tied / Gotta Go My Own Way

Tagging: @starlit-hopes-and-dreams, @gala1981, @kixngiggles, @whither-wander-whump 💕

#can you spot the lie? #lps the prince of thieves #whump #dungeon whump #whump writing #whump story #whump fiction #original fiction #original writing #original story #original content #whumpblr #whump community #writeblr #lps-writes #oc Bree Cooper #oc Will Wardrew #oc Baden Hatchett #oc Jamie Wardrew #oc Colette Haris #oc whump #angst #self-doubt

[regardingregulusblack]

When is a monster not a monster?

“I read something, the other day,”

“Hm?”

“Poetry.”

“Obviously.” Regulus shoved his brother at that.

“Remember when you used to sing me to sleep?”

“Well, I don’t know about singing, but…” Sirius says with a chuckle.

“No, you did. I’m not teasing you about it.”

“Uh, okay, yeah, I remember. What about it?”

Regulus is lost in thought, looking at the puddle growing at the bottom step of the set of stairs both brothers are perched on.

“Most nights I don’t sleep. I can’t, it’s like my eyes refuse to stay closed, and my mind can’t find one thing to stay focused on. It’s either blank, or overcrowded,” Regulus admits, fingers fiddling with the lace of his right shoe. Sirius is waiting patiently, silent as the night sky, in fear of stopping this trail of thought.

Regulus continues after a few seconds, “Sometimes I remember how easily I used to fall asleep with you humming next to me.”

And Sirius turns his head from his brother, hand reaching up to scrub the tears from his eyes. The ever-present lump he’s had living in his throat since he’s been sat with his little brother feels like it doubles in size, and he’s never ached to wrap anyone up this tightly before. To sing him to sleep.

“But the poem I found the other day asked, ‘when is a monster not a monster?’.”

“Reg, you’re not-“

“When you used to sing it to sleep.” Regulus finished. And it was a few seconds after, seconds filled with Sirius fighting that lump away again, that Sirius finished his previous words.

“You’re not a monster, Reg.”

“But that’s exactly my point: you wouldn’t say I’m a monster. You wouldn’t say it, don’t believe it, because when I was that age, the age where you could still sing me to sleep, I wasn’t a monster. How could I be? I was a child. So were you. But now… Now I’m an adult, and everything I’ve done has had intentions behind it.”

“You’re hardly an adult, Regulus. You’re sixteen, for Merlin’s sake.”

Regulus just shrugged, “Still.”

“All right, so you’re a monster. You’re a monster, because- because of what, Reg? Because you’re sixteen and don’t have your shit together yet? What fucking teenager does?”

“It’s not just-“ Regulus’ words fell short.

“Pandora was flipping through one of those muggle magazines the other day, and they had a section on celebrities describing themselves in one word. And the only word that came to mind when I thought about how I felt about myself, was awful. Because I am. And I know I am, because the only person I have left is my blood brother who most spends most of his days trying to disassociate himself from his biological family… And that includes me, so.”

Sirius knows no matter how often he tries to remind the younger of the two that his leaving had nothing to do with Regulus was a futile attempt at consoling him. Because he doesn’t believe it, has never believed it, and probably won’t ever, either. So instead of being on the defence against his own life choices, he’d try and defend his brother’s.

“You’ve fallen out with Pandora before. You’ve made up with her before, also.”

“Not like this, Siri.” And Regulus’ defeated look is like a pin to the heart.

“Your friends, they’re not going to… understand the way you are, not fully. Not when they didn’t grow up in the same house we did- not when they’re still in the same house you are.”

“I can’t just use that as an excuse-“

“It’s not an excuse, it’s part of an explanation. Do you know how long it took Remus to understand why I do half the shit I do? And he’s one of the smartest people I know.”

Regulus seemed tired, his answers no longer in defence of his own beliefs and just staying silent.

Sirius didn’t know if that was good or bad.

“You need to talk to people, Reg. You can’t just expect them to understand, especially when they don’t know the whole story. And you need to apologise, even if it burns your pride and goes against everything Maman and Papa told you.”

“You’re not a monster, Reg. You’re my little brother.”

#this quote lives in my head rent free #so I decided to make it into black brothers angst #but it's more like comfort #you're all welcome #black brothers #angst #regulus black #Sirius Black #marauders #harry potter #fanfic #writing #poem #when is a monster not a monster #brothers #hurt/comfort

[focsle]

One more bit of Mr. Haviland for the night. Some excerpts that really get to the heart of how unrelenting the work is. In which he addresses his journal entries to his mother about how sore his arms are, how dirty his clothes are, and also has a near death experience.

Tues 23rd  I never felt so sore + stiff as I did this morning my arms are so I cannot raise them up to my head. It is my business when cutting in a whale to attend the falls + yesterday they were so wet + greasy that they would take me up to the windlass by the run. The Old Man tried to assist me but their was no use around would go the fall + down go the blanket piece nearly hauling our arms off. Built a fire under the works this morning at 6am now busy trying out and cutting the bone from the head +c. You cannot imagine my Dear Mother how highly we prize a few hours rest + sleep at such times as these. Fri 26th  I could not be any more stiff + sore than I am + that is the general complaint with all hands. All done trying out + have stowed down all the oil the whale stowed down 170 bbls. All hands on deck again today no sleep for our watch since 2 o clock last night only about 10 hours rest out of 48 Sat 27th I feel much better to day I have given myself a good wash + a clean shave + got in all clean clothes. You would not have known your own son if you could have seen him yesterday. I was nearly black with smoke + dirt. (with shame) I say it was the accumulation of 2 months dirt + 4 months beard. Everything looks as clean + bright as it did before we took the whale tho Old Man says 6 more like this and straight for New Bedford we steer. July 3rd This morning the sun rose bright and cheerful and bid fair for a beautiful day. Saw right whales all around us. Lowered away the boats about 3 in the morning but could not get near enough + came on board again just after breakfast went down again there was 7 Large whales in a gam our boat went on. Old Blackhawk darted his Harpoons, the whale kicked + knocked all the bottom out of our boat. It made the crew fly in every direction almost instantly the boat filled with water + went down leaving us poor fellows floundering around in the cold water with 7 larger whales lashing the ocean with their fins + flukes all around. It was a frightful moment for us. I thought my time had come certain when the line that was fast to the whale got entangled around my body. I tried to extricate myself but without success. I sung out that I was foul in the line whenupon John Darling cut it so that if the whale commenced swiming he could not take me with him. The boat about this time came up on top of the water bottom side up + Mr. Stivers assisted me in getting in the keel of the boat in safety + then I got cleared from the whale line. The third mate (Mr. Marshall) came along as fast as possible + took us poor shivering wretches in his boat + pulled for the ship. She was coming to us as fast as she could with all sail set they took us on board + we went below but could not get our frozen clothes off from us without assistance. This is the first time we have ever been so badly stove + the first time we ever had to swim and + I sincerely hope it may be the last. We picked up the pieces + Old Man had them hoisted on board. Old Chips is busy mending up the boat again. As soon as we got warm + dry clothes on we took the starboard boat + started for the whales again but could not fasten + came aboard. Lowered again just after dinner without any better success. Went down again about 3pm. Mr Pendleton went on a large cow whale + Bill his boatsteerer put 2 harpoons in him. Our boat soon got fast. We held on to him until 10 o clock + then cut the lines + let him go. He ran so fast we could not get near enough to lance him. This is five times we have lowered + we have had hard + long pulls. No sleep since 2 this morning. Now I will turn in for I am very tired + sleepy. And I’m never forgetting to thank Providence for my fortunate escape from a truly fearful Death.

#lad haviland #awhalin #long post // #ooghhh whale lines oof whale lines….urhg…

[tinysillylemonman]

Aka the times that hunter has told flapjack that he loves him and the time flapjack said it first. (aka aka, i try to cope with the ending of thanks to them at 1 am)

————-

“i love you” he didn’t expect those words to come out of his mouth that night, but they did. There was no reply from the bird nesting on his pillow at first, but then he heard a sleepy chirp in response. hunter couldn’t stop himself from grinning. He’d never gotten to tell anyone he loved them before, he had tried with his uncle once when he was young but was treated with a cold silence. it had only been a few days after eclipse lake, but he knew that what he had just said was true, from the bottom of his heart.

“i looovvveee youuuu” he sing-songed to the bird nestled in his cape. “but you need to let me have my cape flapjack. i’m expected to report to belos any minute now.” the bird playfully pecked at his fingers (which were thankfully gloved) “stay. sleep silly boy. love you, love you love you.” hunter smiled and cupped his hands under the bird, scooping him up and onto the boy’s bed. he sighed and pulled the white cape around his shoulders. “i’ll seen you soon, flapjack. remember to stay hidden. i love you” he closed the door and briskly walked through the castle halls.

“i love you” hunter smiled as he took the perfect and totally not at all blurry picture of his palisman. “love boy, love you. sleepy boy. go to sleep. love, love, love you” hunter sent the picture and then closed his scroll. he was tired, maybe he’d just take a short nap and then get started on studying. he couldn’t help the grin spread across his face. maybe he’d get to play flyer derby again sometime soon, flapjack seemed to really like it too.

“i love you, over and out” he hurriedly whispered, turning off the walkie-talkie after hearing the coos come from the other side. he pretended to not be able to see luz’s- the human’s grin. he also pretended that a small smile wasn’t trying to make its way onto his own face as well. hunter was so ready to get this over and done with so he could see his palisman again.

“i- i love you so much” he sobbed, trying to make noise beyond the copious amounts of tears plaguing him. he had long since stopped hyperventilating, after nearly blacking out and scaring flapjack out of his mind. “love you. love boy. love, love, love you. find shelter. friends help!” his bird chirped, wiggling his way into hunter’s arms. hunter wiped his face of tears and snot and tried to give the cardinal a smile, though it ended up looking more like a small grimace. “i don’t wanna bother them. but i think i do know a place that would be safe.” flapjack would follow his boy to the ends of the earth, and he let his boy take him to a new shelter.

“i love you” he whispered to his best friend. he didn’t whisper out of fear of being heard and punished. but rather for the sake of the exhausted boy sleeping on the bed next to him. gus and mr porter were so kind to let him stay over at their home. hunter didn’t wait for a reply from his bird, he nodded off with his palisman curled close to his body. “love you too. love happy boy.”

“love you, flap.” hunter whispered, in a situation that felt familiar but so, so different at the same time. gus was there again, but on a couch. they were both in the basement of a home in the human realm. “love you. love you silly boy.” his closest companion twittered from the bird cage ms. noceda had given him. hunter frowned a bit and carefully got up and padded over to the cage. he unlocked the door and scooped the bird into his hands, placing him onto the boy’s pillow. hunter had gone from having two to one thing to love in these past few weeks. but at least he still had flapjack. “never leaving. sleep, sleep, sleep.”

“i love you” the bird twitters weakly, laying on his boy’s chest one last time. he isn’t going to last long, he knows this as much as his boy does. flapjack wishes he could have done more, said more. but he does the last thing he can think of, he tries to bring some good out of his death. as his wood fades away, flapjack’s life essence didn’t, instead going into his hurt, hurt boy. he knows that his boy will be hurt for a long time, but he believes in hunter, his silly sweet boy. he knows that his boy’s friends will keep him safe for the bird. “love you, love you, love you my silly sweet boy.” and then there is nothing.

hunter’s eyes are hazel when they open.

#hi i woke up and then couldn’t go back to sleep again after remembering the ending of thanks to them #toh #the owl house #fanfiction #fanfic #toh spoilers #the owl house spoilers #thanks to them #toh hunter #toh flapjack

[theowritesstuff]

Fooled Around and Fell in Love: Chapter 8

*gif credit to @lodeddiperrodrick

Adrian Chase x afab!gn!reader

Previous Chapter

Spoilers for Ep 8 of Peacemaker

Summary: You fight with the team to kill the cow.

Warnings: violence, guns, knives, unaliving

Taglist: @caramelkatsukis-bitch @myguiltypleasures21 @thedamchii @flower-slut00 @leverage-ot3 @fanofverymanythings @tubble-wubble @themartiansdaughter

The drive to the ranch was pretty tense. You were sat next to Adrian, his arm looped through yours, and his head resting on your shoulder. You could tell he was tired. If you survived this you were going to make sure the poor boy got some rest.

Chris and Adebayo sat across from you. They attempted to sit as far away from one another as possible.

“I know I’m the last person that you wanna hear from right now Chris, and I-”

Chris cut her off by blowing a raspberry at her, mimicking the sound of a fart.

Adrian picked his head up off your shoulder, and watched the interaction.

“I can’t apologize enough for-”

Once again, she was interrupted with farting noises. Adrian let out a laugh.

“I know that you’re mad, but from the bottom of my heart-”

This time, Adrian joined in with the fart noises. You gave Adebayo a sympathetic look.

“I’m sorry, I can’t control him.” You shrugged.

Adebayo sighed, and attempted to apologize again. “I really am sorry, I’m just trying to-”

You honestly didn’t know why she kept trying.

“I am just trying to apologize!” She shouted.

“And I thought you were my fucking friend! You set me up to take the fall and then you try to send me to prison and you think I’m sorry is gonna cut it?”

“Guys, now is really not the time-” You tried to reason with them.

“Cut it!” Adrian cut you off with more fart noises.

“Dude, we’re off it!” Chris snapped at Adrian.

“We are?” He asked, his eyes wide, a frown on his face.

“I’m getting so many moral judgements from people who regularly kill people.” Adebayo said, staring off.

“Hey, what did I do?” You asked, a frown now taking over your face.

“I don’t kill people for nothing, all right? When my brother died, I made a vow-”

“Right, the vow.”

This was going to go on for a while. You leaned on Adrian’s shoulder, and closed your eyes. Might as well try to get some rest, right?

“Are you guys serious right now?” Adrian asked. “We just had a really sick time murdering Peacemaker’s dad, then all these hilarious fart jokes, just like, an all-time classic run, with my best friend, my second best friend, Eagly, my fifth best friend Adebayo, and now you guys are ruining it.”

You lifted your head, and turned to him, looking at him questioningly. “Where am I on that best friend list?” You asked him, your eyebrows raised.

“Oh, you’re not on the best friend list babe, you’re your own separate thing.” He said as if it was obvious.

You smiled, and pulled him into a kiss.

“Gross!” Chris shouted.

You spent the rest of the ride cuddled up with Adrian. His armor made it difficult, of course, but you guys made it work.

When you finally pulled up to the ranch, you all got out of the truck, and started unpacking weapons.

Adebayo decided to call her mom for some help. “Mom, there are way more butterflies than we thought, and the whole team is injured. So, I was thinking, like, maybe you could call in the Justice League?”

You laughed. Amanda Waller wanted things done quietly. Getting help from the Justice League would not make for a quiet mission.

“Can you believe Amanda Waller’s her fucking mother?” John asked you.

You continued to hand him bags from the truck.

“Yes.” Peacemaker said, walking past you.

“My mom says you’re in charge, and Economos and I should stay back in case anything goes wrong.” Adebayo told Harcourt.

What could possibly go wrong?

You all hiked through the forest, attempting to get a little closer to the barn, without being seen by the butterflies.

“If Waller’s your mom why is your last name Adebayo?” It seemed John had a plethora of ques for Adebayo.

“I took my wife’s name.”

“Hey Y/n, when we get married, will you take my name?” Adrian asked, rushing up to keep in step with you.

“When?” Harcourt asked.

Adrian knew you were it for him, so he hadn’t really thought about “if”.

“Well, seeing as I don’t have a last name, yeah, I’d take yours.”

Adrian tried to shrug and look nonchalant when he spoke, “Well, you can have it now, if you want, just to make it easier to sign government papers and stuff, you know.”

You smiled. “Y/n Chase. I like it.”

Adrian was glad he was wearing his mask then, because his face immediately felt hot.

Adebayo started unpacking all of the extra Peacemaker helmets, while Harcourt started scouting the area.

“Here.”

Adrian was holding out his shoulder strap with his sword.

“You need to keep that for yourself Adrian.”

“But all you have are knives, how’re those supposed to hold up in a fight?” He argued with you.

You held up one of the bags you were carrying. “I’ll still have guns. I'll be okay.” You shrugged.

Adrian looked unconvinced.

Chris explained what each of his different helmets was built to do. Adrian seemed excited about the human torpedo one.

“Sweet!” He said, staring down at the helmet.

You could practically see the gears in his head turning.

“Absolutely not.” You told him.

He turned back to you with a sigh, his lips forming a pout.

Adebayo explained her plan about getting the sonic boom helmet to the top of the barn, and using it remotely to blow up the building. It was actually a pretty good plan.

“Uh, guys?” Adrian called out. “Guys!”

You all turned to see the helmet floating away, into the sky.

“Fuck!” You exclaimed.

“Did you say activate anti-gravity?” If looks could kill, Adebayo would be buried six feet below.

“No. Maybe. I don’t know.”

“You can’t fucking say that shit!” He shouted at her.

“I didn’t know it was that voice sensitive!”

“Fuck it, no big deal. I didn’t just kill the only man who knows how to make it.”

“You did just kill the only man who knows how to make it.” Adrian pointed out.

“I know bro! I was being sarcastic!”

“Don’t yell at him!” You shouted at Chris, taking a step in front of Adrian.

“If you’re gonna be sarcastic you should really warn people so there’s no confusion.”

“Okay, so how do we get the sonic boom helmet over to the barn?” Harcourt asked.

“I could take it.” You suggested. You were trained to be unseen, it seemed like that was the best option.

“No.” Adrian’s response was immediate. He didn’t like it when you went into the factory alone, he sure as hell wasn’t going to let you go to the barn alone.

“Well we can shoot a fishing line over to the barn from one of these trees here, and just let the helmet slide down.” Chris suggested next.

“That won’t work, we don’t have any bows.” Harcourt sighed.

“But we do have a team member capable of flight.”

“Get the fuck out.” Harcourt replied.

The next few minutes were spent with Chris explaining to Eagly that he needed to take the helmet, fly to the barn, and drop it on the roof.

“Chris, are you sure he knows what you’re saying?” You asked, an eyebrow raised.

“Eagly’s no ordinary eagle.” He smiled at the bird, then placed the helmet down i front of him.

Eagly immediately started pecking at the helmet with his beak. Chris repeated his instructions over and over. Adrian leaned over Chris’ shoulder, and tried to help, but it seemed he was only annoying him.

Eagly grabbed the helmet in his talons, then started to fly away. Chris let out praises for him. You all watched as Eagly flew toward the barn.

“Oh my god.” You mumbled in shock.

Eagly then decided to fly past the barn, over more forest, and drop it there.

“I knew there was no way he knew what you were talking about!” Harcourt was getting frustrated.

“Peacemaker is a great guy in almost every way, but his biggest flaw is that he commonly overestimates Eagly’s abilities.” Adrian stated.

“Let’s go find that helmet, then we can think of something to do.” You said.

You started walking in the direction the helmet was dropped.

Harcourt and Adebayo went together, and Adrian was put with John, Chris said something about “fucking in the woods” if you and Adrian were paired. So you went with Chris.

Just before you separated from the group, Adrian slipped his hand in yours. It was evident that the thought of splitting up made him anxious. You pressed a kiss to his cheek, and squeezed his hand.

“I’ll see you in a few minutes, okay?” You gave him a reassuring look.

He nodded his head in response, before turning to walk with John.

You Chris had found a sort of clearing in the forest.

“I’ll look over there, you look over here?” You asked him.

“Whatever.”

You knew he was mad about everything that had happened recently, but he really seemed to be taking his frustrations out on the team. You rolled your eyes and walked away.

You didn’t see the helmet anywhere, mostly just branches and leaves that had fallen from the trees.

“Hey Chris, I can’t find it, do you see anything?” You called out.

No response. What was he doing? You headed back in his direction to see him frozen, staring at a tree. You saw him grab his blow gun, and hit the tree with a dart.

“How do you like that, huh?” He asked no one, his voice wavering. “Thanks for coming back ghost, so I could kill you all over again.”

“Chris?” You said softly, trying your hardest not to startle him.

He turned back to you, his eyes wide with fear.

“Are you good?” You asked.

“Fine. I’m fine.”

You looked over at the tree, and saw something shiny on the ground. You ran over, and found the helmet, buried under a pile of leaves.

“Look!” You exclaimed, showing him the helmet. At that moment, if you had lived in a cartoon world, a light bulb would’ve appeared over your head. “I have an idea…”

You watched from the forest as Chris snuck up behind a butterfly sitting on the fence. He quickly stuck a dart into his neck, causing him to fall unconscious.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” John asked as Chris tossed him the butterfly’s uniform. “What the fuck Y/n?”

“I’m sorry, but we need someone to get the helmet to the barn. The three of us can’t go because Goff knows what we look like. Harcourt and Adebayo are too injured to go in.” You explained to him.

“I don’t even wanna be here. And why are these wet?” He asked, annoyed.

“I washed them in the creek.” Chris said.

“Why?”

“One of the things us warriors seldom talk about is how often people shit themselves when they die. It’s a touch of gray in the white cloud of kicking ass.”

John turned to you and gave you a look that read something along the lines of “you’ve got to be kidding”.

“So now you want me to risk my life while wearing diarrhea pants?”

“Hey, nobody said anything about diarrhea. I said it was shit.” Chris defended.

“Was it diarrhea?”

“Yes, it was.”

“Guys, come on. We need to get this done. This is, frankly, the only option we have right now.” You said.

John sighed. “Fuck, fine.” He gathered up the clothes in his arms, then looked at you all expectantly. “Can you look away?”

Soon enough, John was wearing the butterfly’s uniform, and walking towards the barn. He was wearing an earpiece so that he would be able to communicate with all of you.

“God, he’s so stiff. They’re gonna know somethings wrong.” You sighed.

He looked back into the forest; Harcourt quickly responded.

“Don’t look back!”

He started complaining about how bad of an idea this was.

“Remain calm. Head towards the barn like you know what you’re doing. Relax your face.”

“Shut up. I know.” John quipped back.

He continued walking toward the barn, but stopped once he was in front of it.

“Why the hell is he stopping?” You asked yourself. As someone who’s job it was to specifically sneak around, it was painful watching John do this.

“Hey.” Another voice spoke in the speaker. “Where are you going?” They asked.

“I’m going inside.”

“Why?”

“Because of this bag.” John lifted up the bag that held the helmet.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Chris asked.

“Okay. Just wanted to make sure.” The other voice answered.

You let out a relived breath.

“How the fuck did that work?” Chris almost laughed to himself.

John quickly made his way inside the barn, disappearing from view.

“I can’t do this. I can’t do this.” He was starting to panic.

“John, you’re already inside. You’re doing great. Please. What’s there?” Harcourt tried to calm him down.

“Uh, stairs. And an elevator.” He said.

“Take the stairs. The elevator’s gonna draw too much attention.” You told him.

“Yeah, of course. You take fucking stairs.” He sighed, then you heard him moving around.

You looked over to Adrian. He was sitting against a tree. He was silent, which of course was unusual for him. His leg was shaking anxiously. You moved so that you were sitting next to him. You bumped his knee with yours.

“You okay?” You asked, quietly.

He shook his head silently.

“C’mon, don’t tell me the Vigilante is nervous.” You teased.

He turned to you, his eyes wide with fear. “I am nervous. I’m nervous that something might happen to you. That you might die, and I won’t be there to save you.” His words vomited out of his mouth.

“Now you know how I felt when you used that bomb.”

“I’m sorry.” He apologized.

“Hey.” You looped an arm through his. “I’ll be okay. Just like you’re gonna be okay.” You told him.

“Promise?” He asked.

“I promise.”

You sealed your promise by placing a soft kiss on his lips. You went to pull away, but he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, keeping you planted there. You could feel all of his emotions in that kiss. His fear of losing you, the feelings he had for you. It was all there. You pulled away, and kissed his nose.

“We’re gonna be okay.”

“Uh-uh. Fuck it. No more kaijus. No more kaijus. Fuck this.” You hear John over the radio.

“John, do you copy?” Harcourt tried to get him to answer her.

“Jesus fucking Christ. What the fuck is that? Cow my ass. It’s a motherfucking caterpillar the size of the Empire State Building. We need to get the fuck out of here!”

“Hey!” The voice from earlier shouted.

“Fuck!” Harcourt exclaimed.

“The man you’ve taken over, why did he do that to his beard?” He asked.

“Do what?” John asked him.

“Why did he color his beard all strange like that?”

Okay, as much as you didn’t want John to be stopped while leaving, at least it wasn’t because anyone was suspicious of him.

John then went on to explain that he’d dyed his beard because he thought it made him look younger and more handsome. He thought that dying hi beard would help him get a girlfriend. But he didn’t have enough time to keep up with it and his job. He’d never thought anybody noticed, until recently.

“Humans can be really pathetic.” The voice said.

“Yeah.” John replied. He turned to continue walking back towards the forest.

“Hey! That guy just put this down here!” Another man shouted. In his hand, he held the silver helmet.

“Fuck! Do it now! Do it!” Chris shouted at Adebayo.

“Activate sonic-” The radio dropped from her hands into the leaves.

“What the fuck?” Chris shouted at her.

The butterflies all ran to John, screeching. He tried to outrun them, but was quickly stopped.

“How’d that even happen?!”

“My hands are sweaty!” Adebayo replied, frantically searching for the radio.

Adebayo managed to find the radio, just as John was pulled to the ground. They were delivering punch after punch on him.

“Activate sonic boom.”

The front of the barn exploded; pieces of wood flew in every direction. The butterflies pulled their attention away from John to look back at the barn. They all got up, and ran back to it. John scrambled to get up, and ran back to the forest.

Adebayo waited until most of the butterflies were in the barn, before giving the second command.

“Activate sonic boom.”

The butterflies were shot back in different directions.

“Activate sonic boom.”

The barn looked like it was almost completely destroyed, but there was no telling what the underground layer looked like.

You, Adrian, Chris, and Harcourt all gathered your weapons. You and Harcourt had bulletproof vests to wear, however neither of the boys did. You couldn’t lie, that made you nervous.

“Activate sonic boom.”

“Yep, that’s it for the charges.” Chris said.

Adrian pulled his mask back on, then checked his guns. You grabbed yours, making sure you had enough bullets to last at least a little while.

“Look, I can help.” Adebayo told you all.

“We need you to stay here Ads. If something happens to us, you’re the only hope.” Harcourt told her.

John peeked out from behind a tree, an offended look on his face. “The fuck am I?”

“What’s the plan man?” Adrian asked, cocking his gun.

“Let’s go kill a cow.” Chris said.

The four of you walked out of the forest, into the clearing. The butterflies caught sight of you quickly, screeching. You all fired shot after shot at them. Pushing them further back was easy enough, before your first gun ran out of bullets. Your second was useless not too soon after.

You pulled your knives out, and started slashing at anyone who tried to come near you. You looked over to see Adrian take down three butterflies with his sword.

“Bet you’re glad you kept it, right?” You shouted out to him.

You couldn’t wait and listen for a response because more butterflies approached you. You swung your knives left and right. You tackled some of them to the ground, before slamming your knives down into their heads.

“Chris! Go kill the cow! We’ll hold them off here!” You heard Harcourt shout to Chris.

You were fighting with all your energy, when you suddenly felt yourself get pushed back by something. You felt your airway get tighter; it was harder to breathe. You could feel something trying to crawl down your throat. A butterfly must’ve gotten to you. You raised your hands to your throat, gasping for air.

Adrian appeared above you. He grabbed the tail end of the butterfly, and pulled it out of you, throwing it to the ground. He raised his gun, and shot it, yelling “Don’t fuck with my person!”

You were his person? That was really sweet. You made a mental note to talk to him about that later.

You honestly thought that everything would be okay. You’d taken out most of the butterflies. You a little glimmer of hope in you. You turned to see Adrian, taking down one last butterfly, then you heard a shot.

Your eyes widened as you realized what happened. You dashed over to him, catching him before he fell.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay.” Were you telling him, or convincing yourself? Then you felt something sharp in your side.

A butterfly had used Adrian’s sword to pierce through your side. You felt drowsy almost immediately. Adrian’s body fell to the ground, as you didn’t have the strength to hold him anymore. Your vision became blurry, then all you saw was darkness. Your body collapsed, almost on top of Adrian’s.

If someone were looking at these events like a story, they might think of it as romantic. A Romeo and Juliet scenario, where we all knew our two lovers were fated to have short lives, dying in each other’s arms.

Harcourt looked over at the two of you, a look of horror on her face. She was the only one left. She tried shooting the remaining butterflies, but there were more of them then there were of her.

She was taken down quickly, blood leaving her mouth, her skin paling.

*time skip*

Adrian woke up with a pressure on his left arm. He sat up, then turned to see you. You were laying there, unconscious, your skin void of any warmth. That’s when he spotted the puddle of blood next to you.

“No no no no no.” He said to himself. He tried to think of a way he could stop the bleeding. You were supposed to put pressure on wounds, but his armor made it difficult to tear any fabric away.

“Hey guys! I need some help!” He called out, hoping anyone would hear him.

Adebayo ran to him, and when she saw you, she had to take a step back, hand over her mouth in shock.

“Adrian…”

“Give me your jacket, I’m gonna use it to stop the bleeding.” He didn’t take his eyes off of you. He held his hand out, waiting for Adebayo to give him her coat.

She gulped. “Adrian, they’ve lost a lot of blood…”

“No!” Adrian shouted. His breathing started to quicken. “No. They’re fine. They just need help. I can help them.” He said. Because Adrian needed you to be okay. He needed you to wake up, and smile at him again. He refused to lose you so soon.

Adebayo handed him her jacket, he took it, and wrapped it around you, tying it tight. He struggled to stand up on his own. He picked you up in his arms, but stumbled a bit. Oh yeah, he was shot. He was so worried about you that he forgot.

“Economos!” Adebayo shouted.

John walked over the group, a dark look on his face. Had they lost not one, not two, but three team members on this mission?

He held his arms out, waiting for Adrian to hand you to him. There was no way Adrian was going to be able to carry you all the way back to the van.

Adrian was hesitant in giving you to John. He didn’t want to let go of you. When John finally convinced him to hand you over, Adebayo stepped forward.

She held Adrian’s sword in her hands. The blade was covered in sticky, red blood. Adrian felt sick to his stomach. Someone had used his sword on you.

He couldn’t take the weapon. Just looking at it made him want to throw up.

“Leave it.” He grunted out, then followed John back to the van.

Back in the van, John placed you next to Adrian. Your head rested on his shoulder. He could hear little breaths escape your mouth, telling him you were still alive.

Once at the hospital, John carried you, while Chris carried Harcourt inside. The nurses quickly took the two of you away to the doctors.

Adrian sighed as he watched them take you away.

“Dude, you’re shot. You gotta be admitted.” Chris told him.

“I’m fine, seriously. All I need is a good nap.” He said, a hand pressed to his side.

“Think of how pissed Y/n’s gonna be when they wake up and find out you let yourself bleed out.” Adebayo told him.

He sighed. “Fine.” The nurses took him back as well.

You woke up not too long after the doctors had taken you in. They stitched you up, and gave you the blood you needed.

You looked around your room, and saw Adrian sitting in the chair next to your bed. He was also in a hospital gown. A thin tube was attached to his arm, the other end to pouches of blood. He’d lost some too after being shot.

He was snoring softly. His head was leaned against the edge of your bed. His glasses were on the tip of his nose. His curls stuck out every which way.

You nudged him a little. “Adrian?” You sounded hoarse.

His eyes fluttered open. He looked at you, and a large grin broke out on his face. He immediately went to hug you. You hissed at the pain on your side, causing him to pull away quickly.

“I’m so sorry!” He said, holding his hands up.

“Come here, you just need to be careful.” You scooted over, giving him room to lay on the hospital bed next to you.

He laid down, and wrapped his arms around you.

“Are you okay?” You asked him.

He looked at you like you were crazy. “Am I okay? I’m fine! Are you okay?” He eyes searched yours.

“I’m fine.” You told him.

Again, he looked unconvinced. “I thought you were dead.” He told you.

You moved so that you were facing him now.

“Yeah, I thought you were gone. And right after everything was okay between us. I thought it was the world playing some sick, cruel joke on me.” He snorted.

You could tell he was hiding his emotions. His eyes were red, and he refused to make eye contact with you.

“I’m gonna kill the fucker that did this to you.”

“Well, I hope we were successful in killing the cow, and if we were that means that they should die soon anyways.”

He confirmed that the cow was in fact dead.

“So, what’s happened since I’ve been out?” You asked him. You took his hand and played with his fingers.

“Well everyone’s pretty okay. Harcourt woke up. Oh, we thought she was dead too. Adebayo went to the news to talk about Project Butterfly and her mom.”

“Oh. Wow.” You sighed.

“What?”

“It’s just, if Waller is exposed, what am I supposed to do? Don’t get me wrong, what she did was awful, but now… Now where do I go?” You asked yourself.

“Well, you could hang around Evergreen. Stay to make sure Harcourt is okay at least. Keep me and Peacemaker out of trouble? And if you need somewhere to stay, you could always stay with me.” He suggested, a blush on his cheeks.

You’d never had a family before Task Force X, and you’d never had a home before Adrian. Maybe things were starting to look up for you.

#adrian chase #adrian chase x reader #vigilante x reader #vigilante #peacemaker vigilante

[finelinevogue]

Can you do something where Y/N is sick and Harry has to take care of her please?

i actually had written something similar to this before so i present you a lengthy blurb;

You were pretty sure if you got invited in to hell it would feel something like this.

Hot. Sticky. But chilled.

You had come down with a concerningly high temperature. Along with the added luxuries of a deafening headache, cold sweats and an upset tummy. Your body was burning all over, as if it had just been freshly cooked in the oven but you felt colder than ice. It was a confusing juxtaposition, but there it was.

You'd called Harry, since he was in the studio recording his new music and asked him to come home early. You didn't even get to the reasoning of why he should come home before he hung up, telling you he was already vacating the premises. You hated to be that needy girlfriend who had to call about nearly everything, but Harry loved it more than anything. He loved the fact that you needed him. It gave him purpose, apparently .

You couldn't work out whether you regretted asking him to come home, or whether it was a blessing. It was a very fine line.

It was a blessing because, he looked after you like a mother would her child and made sure he stood by your side any time you found yourself lurched over a toilet. He made you chicken soup from scratch and even tested it to make sure it wasn't too hot, or salty - despite being a vegetarian himself. He even made you honey and lemon tea, which he had to run to the store for the honey. When you say run, you mean run. He didn't want to leave you alone at all, so he put on his running shoes and sprinted to the shop and back. However, it was a slight regret because of how fussy he was over you. He loved it to bits - nursing to your every need.

You truly believed you didn't deserve Harry. He was just too kind and pure for his own good. You were unarguably lucky. Laying on what felt like your death bed, didn't feel so lucky though.

It was now 10 pm and you could hear Harry turning on the alarm for downstairs, the loud beeping noise preventing you from sleep. That's all you'd done all day. Sleep. You thought it'd be more magical than it was. It was just uncomfortable though, because of how cold and hot you were.

Your much better looking other half trudged through the bedroom door within a minute of the alarm going off. He was only wearing checkered pyjama bottoms and a white t-shirt and yet he made it look like Gucci Runway 2021.

The jingling of keys signalled Charlie was also present. Charlie was your 2 year old Golden Retriever. He was beautiful. When you and Harry has moved in together 2 years ago you'd managed to persuade him to get a dog. Within a few weeks of moving in you had a 5 month old puppy running around your house. He was your best friend, no doubt about it. He was also ridiculously photogenic.

"Hey Chaz!" You cooed as Charlie walked over to your side of the bed, where you were snuggling down under the sheets. You reached out your hand to give him some loving and attention. You could tell by the small smile and sparkling eyes that he was one happy boy.

"Alright, buddy. Let's leave mum alone." Harry came behind Charlie to manoeuvre him into his bed, which was in the corner of the room. It was more like a big cushion. He started to whine after being forced to leave you - having not seeing you all day. Harry was strict in keeping him downstairs so not to disturb you whilst you were sleeping.

"H it's alright, let him on the bed. He can curl up on my feet." You sympathised with Charlie, as you always did, hating to hear or see him upset. Harry was like the 'bad-cop' when it came to parenting Charlie, because you were too sweet to say no to him.

"You're one spoilt boy, aren’t you?" Harry messed around with Charlie, before telling him he could get up on the bed to see you. Charlie leapt on the bed and wandered over to give you all the kisses he could, before Harry came to calm him down - as you really didn't have the strength.

"I missed you too, Chaz." You quietly laughed, not wanting to set your headache off even more.

"You gonna let me kiss mum now?" Harry rhetorically asked, but as he came over to you Charlie laid down on you so your face was buried underneath his body. You could feel him panting with his adorable tongue out above you, as he hid you from Harry.

"Someone's jealous."

"Feeling like a bloody third wheel over here." Harry tutted and you laughed until you got hot with the movement.

"Harry? Can you move him please?" You whined as you tried to shuffle around.

"Okay Chaz. Let's let mum get some sleep, alright?" Charlie is slowly removed from you and ends up curled on top of your feet, keeping them warm for you.

Harry slipped into the covers and shuffled his way over to you, putting the back of his hand over your forehead and hissing quietly at the simple touch.

"Baby you're so hot." Harry complained.

"I know." You teased with a wink at him, taking his worry out of context and turning it into a flirting compliment.

"Oh piss off!" He chuckled and wrapped an arm around your waist to bring you closer. "What am I going to do with you, baby?" Harry then planted only a few delicate kisses to your lips - not wanting to overwork you and your tired body.

••••

You woke up with drowsy eyes to find you're in bed alone.

Your throat was incredibly dry and your whole body was sticky from sweat. Your pyjamas were damp and your face looked like it'd just been drowned in a rainstorm. It was disgusting. Still, you brought the duvet up to cover yourself more, as you let out a dramatic shiver. Why was it so cold?

Mixed into the background noise you could hear the cheering of crowds and it really confused you, until you looked at the wall and noticed the football was playing on re-run on the TV. Manchester United Vs Manchester City. You hated that you knew that just from their football uniforms, but that's what you get for living with a football-crazed boyfriend.

You noticed Harry emerge from the bathroom, a washing up bowl in his arms. He came and sat down in bed, the bucket of water to his side. "What are you doing?" You quietly asked, peering up at him through tired eyes.

"Oi, you're meant to be sleep y’minx." Harry told you off.

"I can't. I'm too uncomfortable. I'm hot, but i'm cold. I also find it hard to sleep without you next to me." You huffed out in annoyance.

"My poorly baby." He leant down to kiss your forehead, "c’mere, baby." He urged.

He helped you move, seeing as your body was really weak, so you could lay down against Harry’s body. He was sat up against the headboard as you nestled down between his legs, your back to his front. It was a lot more comfortable than before - probably because Harry was closer to you. Charlie noticed the disturbance and waited for you to stop moving around, before maintaining the job of guarding your feet.

Once he was happy in his position he fell asleep again, making you jealous of his ability to do that. Especially now.

"Why's the football on?" You asked, motioning towards the TV.

"Had to keep myself awake somehow." He explained, but it only made you more confused.

"Why?"

"So I can take care of you, y’muppet." His words actually melted your heart - more than chocolate could melt on your forehead right now.

After you'd settled, Harry reached into the bucket and drained out a cloth. He made sure all the excess water was cleared before moving it away from the bucket. You hummed in appreciation when he placed it against your forehead, rotating it to the back of your neck also in order to relax and cool you. It made you realise just how hot you were.

"I think i'm dying, Harry." You groaned as the nausea came over you again. Harry kept a firm hold of the cloth on your forehead, dabbing gently and careful to not let any water drip down into your eyes.

"No you're not, baby." Harry gave you a light-hearted laugh.

"Well, living shouldn't feel as shitty as this H." You grumbled, not appreciating his lack of understanding.

“Then just let me take you to the chuffing hospital!" He exclaimed, making Charlie stir slightly.

Harry had been demanding you go to the hospital all day and all evening, but you were too stubborn to go. That, and you were terrified of hospitals - more terrified of needles and blood than anything else. However, you were starting to reach the point where you were giving in to his request, though. It was becoming unbearable to sleep and harder to breathe. You were worried for yourself.

"I don't like it." You pouted like a child, as Harry wrung the cloth through the fresh water again.

"I don't care whether you like it or not, Y/N, I really think we should go. More like need." Harry insisted and you could tell he wasn’t giving up without a fight. You didn’t want that either.

You hated how he was right.

It was only going to get worse from here, and you didn't really want to be alive when that was going you happen, so going to the hospital to get checked over and drugged up seemed like the best option to go for. The more sensible option.

"Fine." You finally accepted, Harry slinking his arms tight around your waist after discarding the cloth in to the bucket. He nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck and planted an abundance of kisses there, your skin burning just to the touch.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." He repeated in-between kisses.

•••••

It took 20 minutes to get in to the car. 20 minutes.

All because Charlie was reluctant to letting you get up and go. So Harry had to dress you into a more appropriate attire, with a dog sat on your lower body. It was then half an hour later that you were in the hospital.

The hospital was quiet at this time of night and for that you were grateful. It was obviously a night where little numbers of people were doing silly things to get themselves hurt. There was the odd patient for a minor cut injury and there were a couple of people in for burns. There was even a woman in because she accidentally superglued her hand to a bottle of superglue - ironic, but painful.

You sat patiently on Harrys lap, waiting for someone to escort you to a cubicle. You were freezing cold, to the point where your teeth were chattering - your outside body was giving off the opposite temperature. You tried to get as close to Harry's warmth as possible, pushing your body against his.

"You're alright baby." Harry shushed you, as you let out a small tremble.

"If I do die—"

"Which you won't." Harry chuckled.

"I know, but if I did I want you to know that I love you." You told him. Even though he's heard you say it a million times before, it still made his heart flutter as you spoke each word.

"I love you, baby." He kissed the side of your head. "But you're going to be just fine, so no more talking about you dying okay?"

"Why? It's only a natural thing." You pointed out.

"Sure, but I don't want to think of a world without my girl living in it. So zip it before I make you."

You never thought of dying as a world without Harry before now and it wasn't the time to start thinking about it either. It was a horrible thought and you understood why Harry didn't want you speak about it. That world would be so dark and empty and you hated thinking about it.

Harry was called to the front desk to fill in some forms for you, since your hands were too cold and shaky to do it for yourself. He accidentally wrote 'Styles' as your second name, before realising his mistake and scribbling it out.

“Shit.” Harry went red in the face and chuckled over his silly mistake. His hand was shaky and you smiled at how he got so flustered over something so simple. You rested your hand on top of his, bringing his attention to you.

“One day.” You told him and he leaned to give you a kiss on the lips. You couldn’t help but feel like his lips were a future promise to make sure he wouldn’t have to scribble out his second name the next time it was written next to yours.

The doctor saw you shortly afterwards and you thanked your lucky stars that there was no injections or removal of any blood involved, Harry sticking with you the whole time. Turns out you were suffering from a moderate fever, but the doctor said with good rest it should pass. The doctor had given Harry permission to make a big fuss over you - explaining how he was going to love it and you were going to hate it - and to make sure to come back with even the slightest worsen of the fever. You got given a prescription list of various medications that you'd need to take over the next week or so. After collecting the drugs, you were back in the car on the way home.

"Told you you weren't going to die." Harry smiled, happy to have you still by his side, whilst holding your hand over the gear console.

"Unfortunate for you, I guess."

"Will you shut you, y’bloody nuisance. You know I can't do life without you, Y/N." He spoke softly, squeezing your hand tighter to assure you that he's going nowhere.

"Same here." You smile at him and he smirks back at you with his dimple-loving smile.

"You’ll always be it for me, baby." Harry speaks, before you drift back off to sleep.

Happily.

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fanfiction #finelinevogue #finelinevogue harry styles #harry blurb #harry oneshot #harry styles concept #ask finelinevogue #ask harry styles #finelinevogue blurbs #finelinevogue masterlist #harry styles fluff #harry styles end of the day #harry styles x ill reader #harry styles x sick reader #harry styles x you

[emmyhem]

everything you’re missing (c.t.h)

a/n: hi everybody, i’m back with another post. this is my first calum piece and i’m so excited to finally get it up. this is once again unedited, i’m way too tired rn. it’s also the second smut i’ve posted so that’s pretty exciting as well. yeah i don’t really have much to say right now because i’m literally exhausted, my classes are really kicking my ass. anyway i hope you all enjoy this bff!calum piece. feedback and comments are always appreciated. hope you all are doing well and are being safe. thank you - emmy <33

pairing: bff!calum hood x fem!reader

summary: a drunken text meant for your ex shows up on calum’s phone and leaves him questioning everything he’s missing out on with his best friend.

warning(s): talk of a previous bad relationship, y/n’s ex body shamed her, mentions of alcohol, insecurity, smut, cursing

word count: 4.7k

You’ve decided that 3 glasses of wine is your happy medium, but even a sip into the 4th and there’s no telling what you’ll do. 

So, naturally you were finishing up your 5th glass on Friday night while angrily scrolling through your exes instagram when you got what seemed to be an incredible idea. It was simply too tempting not to, your mind was feeling hazy which made your confidence skyrocket, and you truly did just look good. 

A day of pampering had left you in a black floor length silk robe with nothing but your favorite deep cherry red lingerie set underneath. Your face was bare and glowing after a refreshing and illuminating face mask, and your lips were left glossy and plump from a new scrub. 

You had posed in front of the floor length mirror in your living room, giggling between snaps until you had taken the perfect shot. It was classy but provocative, the dressing gown slipping from your shoulders exposing the lace of your bra and a tasteful amount of cleavage. You had also left the bottom open, allowing a clear shot of your thighs and the curve of your ass from where you sat on your knees. 

With a mischievous glint in your eyes you selected the picture into a message, typing a cheeky, “take a good look at everything you’re missing”  and sending it off to your ex (or so you thought). 

But you really couldn’t be blamed for your mistake, Cam and Cal were far too similar for your drunk brain to decipher the difference. You also couldn’t be blamed for the fact that you dozed off on the couch immediately after sending it, before you even had a chance to recognize your humiliating mistake. 

You were awoken by the ringing of your phone at around 9:00 am, way too early for your liking. Before even registering who it was, you brought the phone to your ear and groaned a sleepy, “hello,” 

“At your door.” a voice you recognized as your best friend responded. 

“M’coming” you said, scooting off the couch. On your way to the door you registered that you were still scantily covered, the robe falling off of you as you walked. You clutched it around you as you swung the door open to a wide eyed, Calum Hood. 

“G’morning.” he smirked, looking you up and down. 

“Shh” you hushed, pulling him in by the arm. “Why in the world are you here so early?”

He lightly laughed while taking a seat at the kitchen table, eyes following you while you moped over to the fridge and pulled out two water bottles. 

“Well,” he sighed as you handed him one. “I got a very interesting text last night and I figured I just had to come over and see, y’know everything I was missing.” he spoke in a teasing tone as he gestured a hand down your body.

You tugged your eyebrows together in confusion. There was something familiar about what he was saying, but not familiar enough for you to put the pieces together. 

“What are you talking about?” you questioned bringing the water bottle to your lips. 

Calum shrugged his shoulders, a smirk still glued to his face as he took out his phone and began looking for something. After a few seconds he extended his arm to hand you his phone. You accepted it and glanced down absentmindedly as your body slumped against the counter.  

The second your eyes hit the screen it all came back to you, your mouth fell open and you straightened out, suddenly very awake, not to mention very mortified. 

Calum on the other hand was buzzing. Actually, he had been ever since his phone dinged last night awakening him from his sleep. Well, buzzing and extremely, extremely sexually frustrated. 

When he first opened your message and saw the picture that would now be making a regular appearance in his wet dreams, he had nearly choked on his own breath. He knew that it was most likely a drunken mistake, and while that slightly saddened him it didn’t stop his dick from plumping up at the sight, straining uncomfortably against his boxers. He seriously debated wanking to the tempting image but decided against it, thinking it would be a gross violation of your privacy since it wasn’t even meant for him. Oh how he wished it was. Unfortunately that meant he had been sporting an exceptionally sensitive halfie since then. 

“Oh my god.” you groaned, sitting the phone down on the counter and covering your eyes in humiliation. “Cal I’m soooo sorry, I was drunk, and overly confident, and I meant to send this to Cam and now I’m just, I’m sorry.” you reiterated. 

‘Hey, don’t apologize on my account.” he countered. “Plus, you should be thrilled you sent it to me and not that asshole, doesn’t deserve ya.” 

“I know, you’re right. Doesn’t change the fact that I’m mortified though. S’bit ridiculous, get a little alcohol in my system and I have a god complex all of a sudden” you rambled, running your hands through your hair nervously. 

Calum stood and pulled you into his arms, resting his chin on the top of your head. 

“You think too much, y’know that?” he quipped. 

You turned your head, pressing a cheek against his sweater clad chest and mumbled, “Yea I’ve been known for that.” 

Calum softly chuckled at your words before pressing a chaste kiss to the top of your head and pulling apart. 

“S’really no big deal, y/n.” a teasing grin plastered on his face. “Besides I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it.”

“Calum!” you scolded, swatting a hand at his arm. 

He dodged your hit just in time and held his hands up in surrender before taking his seat again. 

“Why'd you let that dick bother you anyway? Y’know you’re way out of his league.” 

Your jaw clenched at the question, your mind wandering to every time you had come to Calum crying after your ex had done something to hurt you. Everytime he commented on your “stomach pudge” as he liked to call it, when you wore a tight dress to go out. Or when he would ask if you were really “that” hungry, even if you hadn’t eaten much at all. And each time you would feel absolutely wretched and end up sobbing in Calum’s arms, but refusing to tell him why you were so, so sad. 

“He texted me the other day y’know?” you muttered under your breath, while fiddling with the coffee machine. 

“Really? What’d he say?” Calum responded, watching your back with narrowed eyes. 

“Uh, he saw me the other night, when we were at that bar with the guys.” you said, shaky fingers pulling out a mug. 

“And?” he spoke flatly. 

“It’s stupid really,” you sniffled, willing your voice not to break. “He said I put on a few pounds, that he was glad he got out when he did.” your bottom lip traitorously jutted out as you turned to face him. 

“Fucking dick.” he hissed. 

Calum wasn’t necessarily proud of the violent images that flashed through his mind at the thought of that asshole finding yet another way to hurt you but, the sad little quiver of your lip allowed him to reason without a doubt that they were fair. 

Before you could even blink he was holding you again, arms impossibly tight around you. . 

“He’s wrong, y/n. Fuck, I don’t know how to even...he’s just so wrong.” he said softly, his hand rubbing your back reassuringly. 

“I know.” you whimpered, holding tears back. 

He pulled back enough to look you in the eyes, arms still firm around your waist. 

“No you don’t. It’s...It really fucking pisses me off that he makes you feel like this. It’s like-fuck you’re just like-” he moved his hands to cup your cheeks. “You really are gorgeous.” 

Your heart fluttered at his words, and your whole body felt warm as you stared at his big brown eyes. His words felt sincere, everything about him felt so sincere. 

“Thank you, Cal.” 

He pulled you back into his chest, “Really wish I could just, like hug away all his bullshit.” 

“M’used to it.” you mumbled. 

“You don’t deserve any of it.” 

“Yea, well what can you do.” you sighed, moving out of his embrace. 

Calum’s eyes were still glued to you as you stirred a spoonful of sugar in your coffee. 

“I hope you don’t let anything he says get to you.” 

You let out a breath of exhaustion. 

Confidence wasn’t something that you used to struggle with. I mean sure, there were spouts of insecurity here and there but you knew your worth, and you considered yourself pretty, hot even. That had all changed a few months into your latest relationship. First it was the backhanded compliments which quickly turned into passive comments, and then outright cruel insults. People really underestimate the toll their words take on others, especially when the person that’s making you feel so ugly and worthless, is one that you adore and who’s supposed to adore you right back, no matter what. 

“I try but, he can’t just be making it all up.” you were ashamed. When did you become the girl that lets a guy affect how she sees herself? That just wasn’t you. 

“He is. He’s insecure and a douche. He was probably trying to destroy your confidence to the point that you felt like you couldn’t leave him.” Calum assured. “But you’re way too strong for him, dumped his sorry ass anyway.” 

You smiled gratefully at his words, taking a seat next to him. 

“Yea, so strong I tried to send him half naked pictures for reassurance.” 

Calum shook his head, “I wish you could see how hot you are.” 

Your eyes widened at the compliment, your head dropping to avoid his stare as blood rushed to your cheeks. 

“I’d be happy to reassure you whenever you want.” he continued, bumping his knee against yours under the table. 

“Doesn’t count.” you dismissed, before sipping your coffee. “You're my best friend, you’re obligated to tell me I’m pretty.” 

“Doesn’t mean I don’t mean it.” he muttered back quietly, his expression dropping slightly. He hated when you deflected his compliments. All he ever wanted to do was make you feel good, and you made it very difficult for him when you blocked every swing he took at the wall of insecurity that Cam had built around you. He would kill Cam if he could. 

You let out an apologetic sigh, wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face in his shoulder. 

“M’sorry, you’re right. I love you for that, the only thing keeping me sane.” 

Your heart squeezed as he hugged you back. 

Calum was perfect, he was sweet, and funny, and quite literally your favorite person on earth. Not to mention you had been hopelessly in love with him since practically the beginning of your friendship. But as his best friend you had heard over and over just how uninterested he was in a relationship. Everytime you would ask about his love life he would just respond, 

“I’m just not the boyfriend type, m’not cut out for it.” shrugging nonchalantly. 

Which you thought was laughable because anyone would be lucky to have him as a boyfriend, in fact sometimes you would let yourself pretend he was yours. 

Like,in a busy club with his hands on your hips, guiding you through the crowds. So close behind, you could feel each exhale on the back of your neck, as his eyes darted around the room to ensure there weren’t any potential threats to your safety, in the form of drunk overzealous flirts. Or after a night out when he got cuddly and clingy, and would find his way from the couch into your bed. You’d wake up with his cheek pressed against your chest and his arms snaked around your torso as he released soft breaths that caused goosebumps to rise on your exposed skin. You’d let yourself imagine that you had this every morning and that he would wake up any minute to smother your face in kisses and tell you he loved you. And of course, here he was again this morning being so thoughtful and kind and everything you wanted in a boyfriend. And here you were again swimming in his praises and physically having to restrain yourself from kissing him. 

Begrudgingly, you pulled away and stood up. 

“Gonna get changed.” you spoke. 

“I’m making us breakfast.” Calum called as you walked away. You hummed in response and slipped into your room. 

Once in the privacy of your own room you quickly pulled on a pair of leggings and a hoodie before scurrying to the bathroom sink and splashing cold water on your face in hopes of ridding yourself of any romantic thoughts towards your best friend.

Although you weren’t aware, Calum was doing the very same thing just a few feet away. Internally reminding himself repeatedly that it was never gonna happen with you. He wasn’t good enough to be anyone’s boyfriend, let alone yours. You didn’t want him that way and he could almost trick himself into believing that he was okay with that.

You hastily finished brushing your teeth before returning to the kitchen. You were greeted with the sight of Calum’s back, he stood over the toaster cutting an avocado and humming a song you didn’t recognize quietly to himself.  He looked over his shoulder as your footsteps approached. 

“Hungry?” he questioned. 

“You have no idea.” you affirmed, as he fixed a plate for you both. 

“Good. I was thinking we could watch something while we eat,” 

“Fine with me.” you responded, hoping he wouldn’t notice the distraction laced in your voice. Your focus had easily been stolen from the conversation to how easy it was to see his back muscles flex through the thin material of his jumper. 

But of course he did, it was Calum after all. 

“Y’alright?” he said, handing you a plate. 

“Uh, yep.” you rushed out. 

“Not still thinking about Cam, are you?” 

“No, not at all.” you answered honestly, walking to the couch, Calum trailing closely behind you. 

“Then what’s got you all flustered?” 

“You” you thought, taking a seat in the furthest corner. 

“I’m not flustered.” 

“Bullshit” he countered, sitting practically on top of you. 

You let out a huff, and motioned to the other  completely empty side of the couch. 

“Is there a reason we aren’t practicing personal space right now?” 

He laughed softly at your question and nuzzled closer into your side. 

“Yea, you’re all pouty, looks like you need a cuddle.” 

 “I’m really fine Cal.” you shoved him lightly but saw no results, he just scooched in even closer and bit into his toast. 

The two of you sat in silence while some newly released action movie played on your TV. Calum’s arm was wrapped around your shoulders keeping you tight to his side, and although you could’ve sworn that you had been in this exact same position hundreds of times, you felt as if this were the very first time. Every single one of your nerves were on fire and the warmth that had flooded your body was making you antsy. 

Feeling overwhelmed by your senses, you allowed your eyes to flutter close with a deep inhale. 

“You okay?” Calum whispered, dipping his head down slightly to reach your ear.

You opened your mouth to respond but didn’t trust your voice to protrude through your shaky exhales, settling for a subdued nod instead. 

“You sure?” his words were long and drawled out, despite your eyes being closed you knew his proximity from the feeling of his breath just behind your ear. 

Before you could speak up his hand secured itself just above your knee, and your muscles flexed involuntarily at the contact. 

“Relax, y/n” he continued, his thumb beginning to run repeatedly over a spot on your inner knee. 

Everything in your brain was screaming at you to excuse yourself, maybe even kick him out, anything to gain some space and hopefully some clarity from the cloud of sexual tension that was looming over the two of you and blurring boundaries at lightning speed. But you were essentially frozen in place, petrified that any movement would alert Calum to the way he was affecting you. 

Your head lolled back to rest on his forearm which was lying behind you on the couch and finally peeled your eyes open, staring up at the ceiling. 

He watched you from the corner of his eye, taking note of every rise and fall of your chest, every thick swallow of your throat. 

If there was one thing Calum was well versed in, it was his ability to read you, he liked to think he knew you better than anyone else in the world. He could tell exactly how you were feeling just by watching you, your face, your breathing and he was more than shocked when he started getting the feeling you were no longer upset but something far more appealing. 

Were you turned on? Right here in his presence? The thought made blood rush to his dick, which twitched in his pants when another breathy sigh passed your lips. 

“What’re you thinking about, love?” 

Everything in you urged you to answer honestly, just tell him the truth. “You, I’m thinking about you. I’m always thinking about you.” But you couldn’t do that, so instead you deflected. 

“What’re you thinking about?” you countered, meeting his eyes. 

Calum questioned his next words very carefully, debating whether or not he could recover if he was wrong about what you were feeling and you shut him down. It was pointless though, he knew he would never recover from your rejection. He also knew that spontaneous combustion wouldn’t look very good on his tombstone and that’s exactly what would happen if he spent one more minute not kissing you. 

Fuck it. 

“That pretty little set you had on last night.” he confessed. 

That you weren’t expecting. 

A quiet whine rang from your throat and you were far too affected to feel embarrassed. 

And that did it, Calum was now impossibly hard in his pants, no doubt leaking precum onto his boxer briefs. He needed to get his hands on you, now. 

His hand started to slowly travel up your thigh, goosebumps rising on every centimeter they passed. 

“So gorgeous in red, aren’t ya y/n?”

“Cal,” you hissed when his thumb brushed the sensitivity of your inner thigh. 

“Mm.” he hummed. “It’d be pretty hard fo’me to stop right now, but I will if that’s what you want. Is that what you want, love?” 

He was sure he’d cry if he had to let go of you now, but he needed to hear you say it. 

“No, don’t wanna stop.” you whined, turning your body flush to his.

“Whaddya want then, baby? Hm?” You could feel his every word on the flushed skin of your neck as he leaned into the crook.

“Want you.” 

He could’ve came then and there. 

“Then I’m all yours.” he admitted before crashing his lips on yours. 

Your heart was in your stomach as his tongue entered your mouth, explorative and eager. He was too busy memorizing your taste to notice your fingers tugging at his sweater. You attempted to push it up desperate to feel his skin under your hands. You were able to pull the fabric up about halfway before they were blocked by his arms that were holding you close against him.

Calum laughed when you pulled apart from the kiss, giving him a disappointed look. 

“Want it off?” he teased. 

You couldn’t bother to be embarrassed when you nodded eagerly in response. He didn’t waste any time peeling the fabric off of his skin, and you were quick to lightly run a finger across the ink feather just below his collarbone. 

Now it was his turn to tug on your clothes, “Level the playing field?” 

You nodded, lifting your arms and allowing him to lift the sweatshirt over your head leaving your chest completely bare. Calum groaned at the sight of your tits, his hands quickly finding your waist and tugging you down to lay on your back in one swift motion. 

Once you were laid out in front of him he took the opportunity to explore the new skin. His hands left a lingering warmth as they dragged across your stomach and despite the kind words and endearing demeanor that he always upheld with you, you found yourself shying under his gaze, wanting to curl away from him. As your hands began to wrap around your stomach in an attempt to cover yourself up he quickly pushed them away, locking them in place on either side of you. 

“Wanna see everything baby, all of you.” he cooed in your ear before nipping at the lobe. 

His kisses began to travel down your neck, sucking a few marks to your collar bones and the surrounding areas. When his fingers grazed over a fresh bruise in the dip just between your neck and shoulders you hissed lightly. 

“You look so pretty marked up for me. All mine, aren’t you baby? Not Cam’s, mine. Say it.” 

“Yours, Cal.” you admitted, feeling your body sink further into the couch. You had never felt drunk off of someone’s words before and the experience was leaving you sputtering, completely compliant to your best friend. 

He hummed contently at your confession, his large hands gripping at your hips, before slowly peeling your leggings off.

“Y’feel so good in my hands, like you were made for me.” his thumbs poking at the soft skin, just beneath your panties. 

The feeling of his hands so close to where you needed them, but not quite there was driving you crazy. 

“Cal, please.” you begged. 

He groaned before tugging at the cotton covering you. “Cam’s a fucking idiot, y’know that? He had the prettiest girl in the world and treated her like shit. I’d never do that, wanna worship you baby.” 

It was ridiculous how overwhelmed his words were leaving you, all desperate and squirming. As his fingers met the soaked expanse of your cunt you couldn’t hold back the throaty moan it elicited. 

A pornographic sigh followed close behind, one that made Calum want to pinch himself to ensure he wasn’t in the midst of a haunting dream. 

“Soaked f’me darling.” he mused, running his fingers up and down your folds to completely coat you in your arousal. You whimpered at the feeling, bucking your hips up desperate for friction. 

Tutting while shaking his head, he used one hand on your lower stomach to press you back down to the couch. 

“Stay still for me won’t you, love?” he cooed, continuing to run his fingers over your core lightly. 

When you bobbed your head up and down in agreement he lifted your leg to his mouth, pressing a kiss to your calf. 

“Hm, good girl.” he praised, softly laying your leg back down. 

Calum hovered above you, dipping his head down every so often to peck at your chest, his fingers still unrelenting. The knot in your lower stomach tightened every second that passed and you felt like you could scream at any second, yearning to be full. 

Calum felt like he could burst any minute himself but was determined to make this experience the best of your life. He wanted to give you something to remember, a reason to want more. 

Your soft moans and frustrated grunts alerted him to your neediness and he was just about ready to give in for the both of you. 

“What do you need from me, baby?” he said against your shoulder before peppering kisses across your collar bones. 

You could only respond with an airy moan when his fingers found your clit. 

“Hm? My fingers?” You shook your head aggressively. He knew exactly what you wanted, the tease. 

“No? Want my mouth?” he teased further, leaving an opened mouth kiss in between your tits. 

“Cal,” you sighed. “Fuck me, please.”

He groaned at your words, nipping lightly at the skin before ridding himself of his pants. 

“You’re a fucking dream, y’know that?” he praised, desperately searching for a condom in his pants. When he finally located one he held it up to you as if it were a prized possession, smiling proudly at his own preparedness. 

He hastily freed himself from the constraints of his boxers and rolled the condom on, never once taking his eyes off of the blissful expression on your face. 

“Ready?” he questioned, his tip lightly pressing at your entrance. You nodded and sucked in a breath, bracing yourself for the stretch, your eyes falling closed in the process. 

When a few seconds went by and nothing happened you opened your eyes to find Calum staring down at you in awe. 

“Cal,” you whined. “what’re you doing?” 

Your words seemed to break him from his trance, he shook his head and muttered an apology to you. 

“Sorry, fuck you’re pretty. You’ve got no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this.” 

“Then stop waiti-” your words were cut off by a sharp hiss that couldn’t have been prevented as his length finally pressed into you. 

“Fuck.” Calum groaned his head falling back. You felt too good around him, seriously he was fucked, completely ruined for you. 

You felt the exact same as your silky moans filled the room. You had never been filled this good and you questioned how you had gone so long without this. 

“M-move” you sighed, clenching around him. 

You could hear his breath catch at the feeling and he grunted out a strained, “Need a minute.” 

He held himself in place for a few more seconds until his breaths began to even out once again before pulling nearly all the way out and slamming back in. 

You yelped, pulling your lip between your teeth in hopes to drown the sound. 

He continued slamming into you at an unrelenting pace, taking notice of each time your eyes would roll back when he brushed against your g-spot. He could write a book about how good you looked all fucked for him. 

As his thrusts grew closer together you could feel your release creeping up on you.  

“Cal, need’ta cum.” you stuttered out. 

His hands tightened around your hips, pulling you even closer to him as his head poked at that spot again. 

“Go on baby, let go.” he encouraged, willing himself to hold out a little longer as your walls fluttered around him. 

Once you had came it only took him about three more thrusts before he was painting the condom with his release, groaning your name as his hand searched for yours to intertwine them as he came down from his own high. 

  His body flopped next to yours on the couch, both of you struggling to fit next to each other in such a small space, not that either of you minded the close quarters. 

Your fingers remained laced together as you caught your breath, Calum peppering kisses to your shoulder and mumbling praises into your skin. 

“You’re an angel. God, I just- I love you.” he said, causing your head to snap in his direction. 

He looked like a deer in headlights when you asked for him to repeat himself. 

“I love you?” he obliged.

“Is it a question?” 

“No, I’m just not used to saying it.” he admitted, vulnerability clear in his eyes. 

You wanted to kiss away the worried crease in his forehead but instead pressed your lips to his, pulling apart a fraction of an inch to speak after a few seconds.

“I love you too.” you ensured. 

Calum eyes widened, not expecting you to say it back, at least not so soon. He had so much he wanted to say to you but figured all of it could be summed up by another kiss to your soft lips. So he closed the distance once again, using a bit more force this time in hopes it would convey the strength of his feelings for you.

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[daryl-dixon-daydreams]

Words: 6,188 Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Era: Alexandria, pre-Negan + flashbacks in other eras Warnings: language, fear and anxiety, mention of fear of heights Summary: Y/N and Daryl head out on the run for the requested medical supplies. Things are tense, but possibly about to get worse... This part is written in Daryl's POV!

Your name: submit What is this?

* * *

“I ain’t waitin’. I got a whiff of him and I gotta go before it disappears.”

“Daryl, are you sure about this?” Carol pressed him, creases from worry between her eyebrows. “Are you sure you’ve really thought this through?”

“What is there to think through? If he finds her again, he’ll kill her. And I ain’t waitin’ around for that to happen.” The archer was a blur of activity, gathering his gear and shoving it into his pack.

“I think you need to talk to her about this,” Carol insisted, relinquishing her hold on his poncho somewhat unwillingly as Daryl pulled it from her hands.

He shook his head. “Nah. Ya know she’ll want to be there and I can’t risk that…” he trailed off. “I can’t risk—can’t risk that.”

A thick silence stretched for a moment and Carol wrung her hands. “Well, what are you going to tell her?”

He paused, his hands on the clasp of his pack. “I ain’t tellin’ her anythin’. I’ll leave before its light tomorrow. By the time everyone is up, I’ll be gone.”

“What am I supposed to tell her then? When she inevitably asks?” Carol pressed him. “You want me to lie to her too?”

“I ain’t lyin’,” Daryl snapped. “‘M just not—not tellin’ her everythin’. ‘M ending this so she can move on.”

Carol’s jaw tensed. “It feels like a lie.”

“Just tell her I went north. To see what I could see. Lookin’ for supplies,” he drawled, setting his pack and crossbow on the ground beside his bed. “I don’t know.”

Carol sighed heavily and shook her head as he straightened up. “I don’t think this is—”

“Look, tell her whatever ya want. Just wait until ‘m gone. This is happenin’. It’ll be done. S’gonna be over with. For good.”

She shook her head and gave him a long look before crossing his cell and gently clasping his shoulder. “Be careful. I mean it,” she said, surrendering to the fact that there would be no changing his mind. He nodded, pulling his bottom lip in between his teeth for a moment.

“I will.”

Carol gave him one last look full of anxiety and left him.

* * *

I hardly slept. Maybe caught 20 minutes here and 15 minutes there. Anxiety about the run—that’s all it was. At least, that’s what I kept tellin’ myself. Wanderin’ into a hospital was about the dumbest shit we could do. They always promised to be loaded with unexpected bullshit and floods of undead assholes. But lyin’ flat on my back in the dark, I knew deep down it had a helluva lot more to do with her than it had to do with the run. I was tryin’ to remember the last time I’d spent more than ten minutes alone with her and it left me with a feelin’ like somebody had dropped a damn lead weight onto my chest. I turned over in bed in an attempt to throw it off, but it still sat there on my lungs. I knew exactly when we’d last been alone for longer than a few minutes. Of course I fuckin’ knew. It was burned into my goddamn memory.

But it wasn’t doin’ me a lick of good to think on it so I pushed it away and waited for the clock beside me to read 5:15 before I climbed out of bed. My gear was all waitin’ ready, except for pickin’ up a gun on the way out. I half-expected to run into her in the armory, but it was dark and empty when I grabbed a handgun and some ammo. It felt like a lonely walk to Aaron’s, up the empty street, dew heavy on the grass, and my bootsteps echoing loudly off the dark rows’a houses. I never feel right in here… with the square little lawns and lights on by the front doors. It just felt fake, like somebody had built paper houses and was plannin’ to light ‘em up to burn any minute. I couldn’t feel settled. I just felt… lost. Outta place. Like I didn’t belong.

I’d gotten rid of that feelin’ once… My mind drifted back to her like it always did. It was like I didn’t have no damn control over my own mind. She’d been the one who’d made me feel like I belonged. But now? Fuck. I’m doin’ it again. Focus, dumbass.

She wasn’t waitin’ by my bike either, so I rode up to the gate. As the lookout platform came into view, I caught sight of her climbing down, followed by Gabriel. Her pack was slung on her back, a shotgun hanging at her side and her favorite pistol in a holster on her thigh. I found myself chewing the inside of my cheek. Nerves. Anxiety. This was gonna be a long fuckin’ day.

“I’ve got the gate,” Gabriel said, heading for the latch. She wandered over and I felt a jolt when she met my eyes. I nudged my nose up in a nod, but she just looked back at me with that same stony expression. Unreadable. It always seemed like I never saw her smile anymore. Maybe she did, just not around me. I got that blank look or a glare that I probably deserved…

“Were ya on watch?” I asked, curious why she wouldn’ta gotten rid of her shift in favor of sleep, knowing we’d be heading out on a run early.

“No,” she said simply. No extra info. Typical. Why waste more on me when one word would do? She didn’t owe me nothin’. And she knew it. I swallowed my other questions and leaned forward on my bike so she could climb on. I felt her settle in behind me and glanced over my shoulder at her. She caught my eyes for a brief moment before looking away, down toward the ground. That was typical too. It was like she just couldn’t look at me. Felt like somebody twisted a blade in my chest every time she dodged me like that. And yet I couldn’t get enough of her, even if she was purposely a giant pain in the ass most of the damn time… I still felt like she was a mirage in a desert. A mouthful of cool water in a drought. Food for a starvin’ man.

Gabriel was waiting with the gate open, so I revved the bike to life again. Her arms wrapped around my waist to hold on and for a second I thought I felt her cheek press against the back of my shoulder, but I knew I must have imagined it. My heart was racing as we pulled out. I was more anxious than I had been all night. The thoughts rushing through my head moved so fast I couldn’t even focus on any of them.

Gabriel yelled at us to be safe as we moved through, kickin’ dust up that left a glowing red cloud behind from the reflection of the taillights. The ride to the city was smooth. We made good time, luckily only passing lone walkers or small herds that were easy to avoid. Around the curves, for a brief moment, she’d hold tighter to me and lean into the turns like I’d taught her in what felt like another fuckin’ lifetime. Each corner I could feel every individual fingertip pressing into my waist or stomach. It was always followed by a sudden wash of heat like somebody had shoved me in a shower with the temperature all the way up. I couldn’t control it. Didn’t matter how hard I tried to ignore the feelin’ of being so damn close against each other…

I slowed down as we neared the hospital. Cars sat rusting in gridlocked traffic, tires long gone, frozen in time—same place they were when everythin’ shut the fuck down. I slowed my bike to roll over some debris and hit a chunk of concrete a little harder than I meant to. Her arms tightened around me reflexively at the jolt before loosening again the next second. My heart jolted at the same time. That feeling… of her clinging onto me for safety—but fuck. Let’s not make it out to be more than it is, dumbass. I turned toward my left shoulder. “Sorry,” I murmured. She didn’t say anything back, just shifted in her place behind me, puttin’ an inch more space back between us. The hospital came into view ahead, tall over everything else on the block.

She tapped my arm and I turned so I could hear her over the engine. “We should park. Sound of the bike,” she said. I knew what she was thinkin’. Any walkers or people anywhere around would hear us. I turned down a side street and parked in a loading dock bay. She climbed off about as damn fast as she could. Kicking the kickstand out and swinging my leg over, she was already walking back toward the corner of the building to look down the street.

“Hold up,” I called after her. I still had to get my gear off the back. She either didn’t hear me or didn’t give a shit and I found myself gritting my teeth. But when I rushed around the corner, I nearly collided with her. She did wait. She was leaned up against the brick, her shotgun in her hands, staring ahead at the looming building.

She straightened up as I stopped beside her and we started windin’ our way down the last couple blocks, keepin’ to the shadows of the buildings, stayin’ in cover as best we could. Even so, I couldn’t help glancin’ up at the endless windows, too many high points. All it would take is one asshole with a rifle and a scope... My hands started to sweat as I gripped my crossbow. I glanced at her, but she was as stony-faced as ever. “C’mon,” I said, quickening my stride. “I wanna get the hell off this street.”

I heard her let out a small scoff behind me. “Yeah, you’re the only one worried about being out here,” she murmured. My teeth clenched again but I did my best to ignore it. There was no point gettin’ riled up this early in the day. We still had a lot of fuckin’ work to do. We reached a set of double doors on the side of the hospital, but one glance inside showed they were well barricaded. I stood there rubbing a hand over the stubble on my face. “S’try the south door,” I drawled. To my surprise, she didn’t argue. But that side was a fuckin’ bust too. “Shit,” I spat out. There was a tall cabinet blocking the entrance.

“Good call,” she said sarcastically.

I shot her a glare. And this time when I bit my cheek, I tasted blood. “Ya got a better fuckin’ idea? Huh?” I challenged her.

She rolled her eyes, studying the door for a moment. There was a large glass pane above it that was broken out and I saw her eyes lock in on it. “Boost me up there,” she said, inclining her chin to indicate the window.

Did she want to go in alone? Well, that sure as shit wasn’t fuckin’ happenin’. “Like hell,” I growled back. She rolled her eyes again.

“Just boost me through and I’ll get the door open. I’ll let you in.”

Now it was my turn to scoff. “Ya gonna move that cabinet? By yerself?” I asked skeptically. The muscle in her jaw tensed.

“I don’t have to move it far. Just enough to let you squeeze in. And you can help from the outside.”

I pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth. I didn’t like the idea. I paced a tight circle, thinkin’, as she shifted impatiently beside me. “What if ya get in there and there are walkers? Huh? We can’t see shit down the hall.”

“I’ll be quiet. Come on. We haven’t got all fucking day and we’re sitting ducks out here. Unless you’ve come up with something better—”

I didn’t like it, but she was right. Shit. “Fine,” I interrupted. She leaned her shotgun up against the wall as I set my back against the door, fingers locked together and hands low at my bent knee. “C’mon. Gimme yer foot.”

She seemed to hesitate and I wondered if she was having second thoughts, but the next moment she stepped close in front of me and her hands came to my shoulders. “Ready?” I asked. Her face was maybe six inches from mine, her hands light. I started to feel warm again, a flush of heat across the back of my neck that started spillin’ into my chest. I could see every fleck of color in her eyes, the upturned curve of her eyelashes, that little scar on her chin... Fuck. Focus.

“Ready.” She planted her boot in my hands and I boosted her up so she could grab the window edge. The tinkling of glass dropping in was all I could hear for a moment, and then her weight disappeared from my hands. Spinning around, I watched her pull herself through onto the top of the cabinet. She stayed perched there for a moment, glancin’ behind her, scoutin’ the hallway, before she dropped to her feet lightly. She made it look easy. Graceful.

I couldn’t stand still, constantly shifting my weight. I watched her face tighten as she wedged her shoulder into the cabinet, using all her weight, and it started to move at an angle away from the door. I pushed in with my shoulder from the outside and we finally had enough space for me to slip through. I passed her shotgun through first before turnin’ sideways and slidin’ in. It was dark and completely silent except for the sound of our own breathin’. It felt stuffy inside, and I could vaguely smell somethin’ sharp like animal piss and a sickeningly sweet smell. Death. Decay. I paused to draw the string on my crossbow back, cocking it ready to fire, a bolt nestled in the flight groove.

She pulled her flashlight out from the side pocket of her pack and clicked it on, shining it partially up the hallway ahead. “Jesus…” Her boots crunched over broken glass. She adjusted the shoulder strap of her shotgun, her eyes fixed down the hall, following the moving beam of her light. “This place is a fucking wreck,” she whispered. In her distraction, her tone lacked the usual hostility or sarcasm.

“Somethin’ went down since we were last here,” I agreed. There was a lot more debris and furniture toppled over and strewn about. A lot of obstacles to a clean getaway if we had to make one. “Let’s just get this done and get the hell out.”

“What a unique idea…” she remarked over her shoulder. There it was. Damn sarcasm was back.

I couldn’t help rolling my eyes and movin’ past her so I was in the lead. I knew it would annoy her, but I secretly wanted to be the one in the line of fire if somethin’ was crooked. I headed for the stairwell, pullin’ my own flashlight out and shinin’ it inside before I tried the door. It looked clear. “Upper floors are more likely to have shit left. Let’s go.”

We moved in silence. I could feel her ghosting behind me the whole way, almost mimicking my movements. This was the first time the two of us had been alone on a run since… since I dun even know when. But despite it being so goddamn long, we weren’t out of step. Once we started movin’ it was like no damn time had passed. We fell right back into our old rhythm. I knew her and she knew me. We worked well together when she put aside her need to argue with everythin’ I said. It still felt like we each knew what the other was thinkin’. Not that I expected this run would magically make working together bearable again for good, or solve anything, but at least we could if we had to. I also now was realizin’ this whole thing was probably orchestrated by Rick. Did Denise really need the supplies? Sure. But did it have to be Y/N and I gettin’ ‘em? Alone? Fuck no. I dunno exactly what he was hopin’ for but I’m pretty sure he’ll be disappointed…

Moving steadily upwards, we had most of the supplies on the list, plus plenty of extra finds, but I was growing more and more uneasy as we went on. We hadn’t run into a single fucking walker yet, and to me that meant they were probably herded up in a massive hoard somewhere. It felt like a matter of time before we found them or they found us. I could sense Y/N’s tension risin’ again too. She was more fidgety, more careful about each step she took. I found myself frequently sweeping my eyes back behind us to make sure nothin’ was lurking just outta the flashlight beams. There were the usual signs of walkers nearby; smears of blood on the floor and walls, that fuckin’ smell ya could never get outta yer nose, even chunks of flesh from the rottin’ fuckers. But we still hadn’t seen one, and I was fuckin’ worried.

“Almost got everything,” Y/N whispered to me, shoving a couple more bottles into her pack. “We just need to find the CPAP machine,” she murmured, staring down at the list. “I don’t have a fucking clue what the hell that looks like.” She glanced over at me, one of her eyebrows quirked in a question and I realized she was waitin’ for some kinda response.

“What? Yer lookin’ at me? I ain’t got a goddamn clue what the hell that even is,” I said gruffly. Shit. I saw it. Just for a second, but one corner of her lips twitched up in a smile and I swear there was a spark in her eyes—like the ones I used to see in her all the time. My heart jumped and I tried my best to ignore it. She seemed to turn away, hidin’ her face right as I was puzzlin’ over it.

“Right… well, let’s try down the hall. There’s probably another supply closet at the other end,” she said, nudging her head toward the darkness ahead.

We made our way cautiously. I pushed into the lead again and was surprised when she didn’t argue. I tried every door handle but most of ‘em just led to empty or trashed patient rooms. I caught her frozen in the doorway of one that had a massive bloodstain on the floor and spatter partially up the walls. Her eyes were wide and vacant, and I wondered what she was reliving. “Hey,” I said, just over her shoulder. She seemed to pull out of it abruptly and she turned away, moving on like nothin’ had happened. I let her go ahead, mainly so I could keep an eye on her for a minute and make sure she still had her head in the game, but I didn’t need to worry. Not about that anyway. She’d always been tough. She wasn’t shaken by shit easily. I knew that. And yet I still had this drive to want to protect her, even though she didn’t need it from me. And she definitely didn’t want it from me.

“Here,” she said suddenly, slinging her gun back on her shoulder and more fully opening the door to a small supply closet. There was hardly enough room for her to stand inside, so I posted up just behind her and strained my eyes and ears for anythin’. “It’s all electronic stuff,” she whispered, entirely focused at the task at hand. Her hands floated from one device to the next, illuminated by her flashlight. She was looking for some label or model number or somethin’ to tell her what they were. She bent down and grabbed some scattered papers from among the boxes on the floor. Swearing under her breath she held one up to the flashlight. “Of course the cover and all the useful shit in the front is torn off,” she muttered. She was bending down to grab another handful when there was some sudden, deep noise on the floor above us.

My heart seemed to stall out for a moment and she straightened up and froze, her eyes lifted toward the ceiling, lips partially parted. The sound seemed to reverberate through the building. I could feel it beneath my feet. It resonated through the walls. After a moment, I was looking at her and she glanced over and met my eyes, her eyebrows a little furrowed with worry.

“What the fuck was that?” she asked in a harsh whisper. I only shook my head. She gulped and refocused, shakin’ it off, focusing back on the papers. She was flipping page after page, scanning them as fast as she could.

I started to hear some more noises above us and then eventually spilling toward the other end of the hall. My grip on my crossbow tightened. “We need to move,” I said, keeping my voice low.

She was still intensely focused on the manual in her hands. “Just gimme a minute…” she said vaguely.

I shifted, turning more toward the far end of the hallway, straining my hearing. There was more clattering above us. “We might not have another damn minute.”

“Just—hold on—”

Fuck. I stood frozen for a moment as a herd of walkers started to spill out from the stairwell at the other end of the hallway and start toward us. “We ain’t got a minute, Y/N!” I urged in a harsh whisper. She didn’t seem to hear me.

There were more walkers than I could count. They hadn’t spotted us yet but I had to move fast, so I did the only damn thing I could think of and pushed her forward into the closet, pressing in after her and shutting the door as quietly as I could. I instinctively clicked my flashlight off and hurried to grab hers and do the same, plunging the two of us into darkness in that small space.

“Daryl, what the hell?!” she snapped at me. She’d been so focused she was completely oblivious to the mass of dead wandering our way. The goddamn closet was so small I had no choice but to be pressed into her… My heart started to pound and I think it had more to do with her against me than the undead assholes outside. I was sure she’d be able to feel it and prayed she’d just think it was adrenaline or somethin’. “What the fuck are you doing?!”

I shoved my hand over her mouth, all my patience gone. Did she really think I’d shoved her in a closet for the hell of it? “For once in yer goddamn life just shut up!” I growled in a low voice. She seemed to tense against me but in the quiet the sounds of the walkers outside the door were now easily heard above our ragged breathin’ and they were growing louder every second. I still had one hand over her mouth and the other clenching my crossbow at my side. She shifted against me and pulled my hand away. I could hear and feel her breathin’ pick up pace. I planted my palm on the wall behind her, next to her head, very aware of the growin’ heat pooling between the two of us where we were pressed together. The air felt suffocatin’. I started to worry the walkers outside the door would be able to hear my breathin’ I was so nervous. I wanted to shift, move away from her like I’m sure she wanted… I wanted to change positions and get my bow up, but it was impossible.

She didn’t seem to know where to put her arms within the tight, dark space. I couldn’t blame her. I was leaned in against her, sorta over her even. I felt her hand accidentally brush my arm and my body jolted a little at the contact, like some reflex I didn’t know I had. My teeth ground together. After that she seemed to settle away from me, into the wall behind her.

We had to just stay there, fuckin’ frozen, hardly room to breathe while the hoard passed by. Every once and a while, a body would thump hard against the door and I’d feel her flinch. I could feel sweat dripping down my neck and beading up on my face, my hair sticking to it. We were so close I could feel her breath against my skin when she faced toward me. I felt the rhythm of her breathin’. And I couldn’t ignore the fact that in that tiny ass closet, the only thing I could smell was the faint scent of her shampoo. I tried hard not to notice, but I’d be lyin’ if I said I didn’t try to put some name to the smell. Lavender? Not quite. Maybe more like rose? I dunno. And despite the possible death lurking just outside, I found it hard to focus on anythin' other than the feeling of her against me.

It felt like it took hours for the hoard to pass, but it was probably only ten minutes. But after the sounds drifted away we were still left with a big fuckin’ problem. They had to go somewhere, and my best guess was that they were travelin’ down.

It was so dark in there I couldn’t even tell if my fuckin’ eyes were open or closed, and it seemed to be makin’ it hard to think… Or maybe the angle of her one hip pressed into me was—fuck. Get it together, man… I fumbled for and clicked on my flashlight, findin' the two of us both wincin' at the sudden glare, noses almost touchin'. She was lookin’ up at me, her lips softly parted, her expression only full of concern for once, that little worry line she always gets near her eyebrow.

We both stayed like for a second. I guess just struck by actually seein’ how close we were in the sudden light, until finally she tore her eyes away and turned her head.

I tried to clear my throat, worried my voice was gonna come out soundin' strained or somethin’. “Uhh… sounded like they were goin’—”

“—down. Yeah,” she finished.

My eyes traced the angle of her jawline as she kept her face turned away from me. I heard the paper manual crinkle in her hand and groped for the doorknob behind me. “Yeah,” I agreed quietly. “So, we got a problem about gettin’ out.” My hand finally landed on the doorknob and I turned it and slowly opened the door on the hall, checking both directions carefully but also feelin’ like if I didn’t put some damn space between the two of us again I was about to explode. It looked clear and I stepped out. Glancin’ back, she still seemed frozen, up against the wall, her face turned away toward her shoulder so I couldn’t really get a read on her. “Hey. What is it?” I prompted her.

“Hmm?” She seemed to snap back to herself. “N—nothing…” She went back to searching the manual in her hand, like nothin’ had fuckin’ happened. Just one goddamn time I’d like to know what the fuck is goin’ on inside her head… But I ain’t got no right to that. She’s made that pretty fuckin’ clear.

It wasn’t the right manual or the right machine. But she went through two more until she found it. “Got it,” she announced, waving the paper at me before shoving it into her already full duffel bag. She seized a small machine from the shelf and started trying to rearrange items to make it fit in her pack.

“I got room,” I said, still nervously checkin’ over my shoulder. I thought I could hear the hoard moving below us, maybe two floors down.

“It’s fine. I can make it fit,” she said, jostling more stuff in her bag.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed the damn thing from her, slinging my crossbow strap over my shoulder. “Ya’d really rather split yer pack at the seams than take any fuckin’ help from me,” I murmured. I didn’t wait for an answer. I didn’t need one…

She stepped out of the closet and I caught her wiping her forearm across her forehead. It left a smear of dirt near her hairline. I had to pull myself back to the present. “So, how are we getting out of here?” she asked, adjusting her pack and the duffel bag strap on her shoulder.

I glanced at her, knowing she wasn’t gonna like my idea.

She rolled her eyes. “Well, you’ve obviously got something. Just get on with it.”

“Fire escape,” I said.

I watched the muscle in her jaw twitch as he jaw clenched. “Fuckin’ great…”

“Unless ya got somethin’ else—”

“You know I don’t,” she snapped back at me. She wiped a hand across her forehead again, swiping away fresh drops of sweat. “It’s—” She cut herself off. “Let’s just go,” she sighed, defeated.

I looked at her for a second more, trying to gauge just how freaked out she was, but it didn’t seem to matter. We didn’t have any other options.

“Let’s go,” she snapped again. “Before I change my mind about being able to handle this.”

“It ain’t—”

She squeezed her eyes shut and I watched her body tense. “I swear to god, Dixon, if you say ‘It ain’t that bad’ or ‘It ain’t that high’ right now, I will lose my shit and attract every fucking walker in this goddamn building. I don’t even give a fuck.” Her jaw muscle twitched.

I couldn’t help letting out a sigh that was more of a growl than anything but then I turned and headed for the window a couple doors down that I’d noticed was busted out. Leaning through, I scanned the outside of the building for a fire escape. Nothing on that side.

“It’s probably around the other side. Let’s try the end of the hall,” she suggested. Her boots stayed rooted to the floor and I glanced at her again. She caught my eyes and must have read the concern on my face.

“I’m fine. You’re the last person I need worrying about me,” she growled.

Fuck. She could be infuriating… I found my hand clenching and unclenching a few times before I followed her back out of the room.

She was right. There was a fire escape down that side. I grabbed a piece of metal off the floor and straightened up. “Ya ready?” I asked one more time. “They might hear this glass break so we gotta fuckin’ move.” I thought her hands were a bit shaky.

“Just do it,” she said. And this time, I could hear the quiver in her voice.

I smashed the window and knocked out the glass before pullin' myself through. The metal grates rattled under my boots and she looked suddenly sick as she approached the window sill. I hesitated a second before reaching a hand out to help her through.

“I’m fine,” she said. She didn’t look fine, but she gripped the ledge and climbed out. “Oh, fuck. Fuck…” she muttered as her feet landed on the platform. She was keeping her eyes fixed straight out. Even just the metal grates at th prison used to freak her out, and that was one floor.

I wanted to comfort her but… I wasn’t dumb enough to think it’d help or that she wanted me to, so instead I just started down the stairs at a good pace. She followed stiffly behind me, gripping onto the railing with white knuckles and falling behind.

Every once and a while I’d glance back and she looked like she was about to be sick, but she was still following. We hit a snag as we reached the third-floor platform. A large part of it had rusted and fallen away, leaving a gaping hole we would have to edge around to reach the next set of stairs.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” I heard her behind me and when I looked back her eyes were wide and round and she was clutching onto the railing like it was a lifeline.

“S’fine. I’ll cross first. Just keep over—”

“Oh, really, Daryl? I should keep over to the side? You mean I should stay away from the huge fucking hole in the goddamn floor?” It kept drawing her eyes and I’d see her rip them back up and away, reeling.

I knew that was mostly coming from the fact that she was fuckin’ terrified, but every harsh word from her still stung. “Fine. Clearly, yer good,” I spat back. “Ya don’t need me and ya don’t give a shit and yer fine. I fuckin’ got it.” So much for trying to calm her down. I edged past the hole in the metal grating and went down the next set of stairs. Finally, I just had to push down the ladder, climb down, and we’d be on solid ground again. But when I looked back up, she was still frozen where she had been, on the far side of the platform. I watched her for another minute, waiting to see if she’d move. I knew she wasn’t gonna ask for help, not from me, but she obviously needed it and tough shit, I’m the only damn person here. I rubbed a hand across the back of my neck, anxious to even try again, and climbed back up. I edged past the rusted-out hole and stopped next to her. “Just gimme yer hand.” She didn’t loosen her grip on the railing, and her eyes landed on my face. “S’fine. Just for two seconds, lemme fuckin’ help ya.”

Her chest was heaving with fearful breaths and I guess the idea of tryin’ to cross along that edge alone was worse than puttin’ her hand in mine. Part of me still thought she’d take the heights over me, but she didn’t… She pried her hand off the railing and placed it into mine. I—I can’t say my heart didn’t jump when my fingers closed around it. The motorcycle. The fuckin’ closet. Now this. We’d hardly been within six feet of each other for years and now all this in one day… I felt dizzy. It ain’t like Rick could have predicted these things would happen. He sure as shit couldn’t command a hoard to force us into each other in a tiny closet… but he must have been hopin’ for somethin’ by sendin’ us out here. Was it gonna work on her? I fuckin’ doubt it.

As we stepped along the edge of the edge of the platform, she held her breath. She always seemed like nothing in this fucked up world scared her anymore, nothing phased her. Half the time it almost seemed like she didn’t give a shit if she died. But this? Heights? This still scared her on some level she couldn't reason away.

But we made it across just fine. She was gripping onto me so tightly I thought she might have bruised the bones in my damn hand. And as we climbed down the next set of stairs, long past the danger, she was still holding onto me. But just as quickly as I realized it, she slipped her hand out and stiffened next to me again, fixing her eyes away toward the railing, which she grabbed onto again desperately.

We made it down the ladder, dropping onto the concrete and making a run back to my bike, slippin' from cover to cover, packs heavy and weighing us down. I was thinking how batshit crazy it was that we’d just done a hospital run and hadn’t had to kill a single walker AND managed to get all the damn supplies... when we rounded the last corner and a string of curses left her mouth.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. What the fuck?!” She knelt down next to my bike and as I looked, my stomach dropped.

“Son of a fuckin' bitch.” Both tires on my motorcycle were slashed. Ruined. Fuck.

We were stranded in the city without a runnin’ vehicle and somebody knew we were here.

#daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon twd #the walking dead #twd fanfics #daryl dixon drabbles #daryl imagines #daryl x y/n #fanfics #writers of tumblr #twd drabbles

[rezzyromance]

Could I request Heisenberg with a female s/o who's negatively pent up from anxiety and depression and feeling like they're not good enough for Karl but they always put on a brave face to not look weak? They just want to make him happy and proud maybe maybe when they're either fucking or just working, maybe he says an offhand comment that hits home, idk being called useless is a good one to feel like being stabbed. They love him but they've been hiding all their mental struggles and bottling it up be a use they always focused on him first? Mental health feels neglected rn and could use the hurt/comfort if you're okay with this! Up to you if you want to add smut or not, with or without is great

Of course, baby. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the story. (CW: Hurt/Comfort, mentions of anxiety and depression. Sexual scenarios: Fingering, face riding, praising, general NSFW)

Living with Karl is a task that can be mentally taxing on anyone. For you, this wasn't an exception. There was no doubt in your mind that you loved him, but that dragged along a few issues with it. You loved him so much, that you constantly felt an unbearable pressure that pushed you to attempt to impress him out of fear that he may view you as inferior to him. Karl is without a doubt strong, insanely intelligent, passionate, and all around tremendously powerful. Often times you wondered why he even keeps you around.

You had grown very close with him over time. He never put a real title on your relationship, but you both knew that he loved you. He loved you enough to let you help out on his work. He assigned little tasks for you to do such as organizing his blueprints, creating blueprints, and organizing his tools. Each time you did something, he would reward you with praise. Sometimes the praise would be heart to heart while other times it may be skin to skin. While the praise he provided felt rewarding, you began to worry what may happen if your work wasn't good enough. What if you weren't good enough? What if he stopped finding you useful or attractive? These troubling thoughts had been torturing you recently. But, you kept it all bottled up, worried that he may view you as weak if he knew you were so afraid of failure. Whenever you would work on something, you would sit there for hours on end. Nothing could stop you until you were finished. You did this as a way to imitate Karl and his tireless work. Though, Karl does have powers that help keep his body from shutting down the way yours does. That didn't stop you from constantly pushing yourself overboard, though.

A knot grew larger and larger in your throat as you attempted to sketch out a new blueprint, slouching while sitting on your bed. He had asked you to work on it that morning and it was nearly midnight now. The lines were uneven, your hand writing was messy, and it was easy to see where you had erased and redrawn a lot of little details all over the paper. A single tear fell from your eye and onto the paper, causing a wet spot where the ink began to smear. You ignore your body and minds cry for help by quickly wiping your eyes and acting as if it didn't happen. Your hands were shaking as you applied more details, not being close to finish. Your eyes were twitching, fed up with staring down so harshly at the paper for so long. Suddenly, the door to the room opens.

You jump and face the door, realizing how cramped your neck was from your poor posture. Karl entered the room, obviously tired from a long days work. His eyes looked heavy and he was running his hands through his hair. "Still working on that blueprint, buttercup?", he asks as he walks towards you. You look back at the paper and realize how low quality it was, along with unfinished. You quickly hold the paper to your chest, attempting to block it from him. 'Um it's almost finished I swear! I just n-need to add a few more little details.", you assure him. He holds his hand out. "Let me see.", he raises an eyebrow and begins to wiggle his fingers. You attempt to swallow the knot in your throat as you shakily hand it over.

Your hands clutch each other tightly, digging what's left of your bitten nails into your skin. His eyes scan each inch of the paper and his eyebrows begin to furrow. "What.. is this?", he looks over to you. "What?", you're voice is shaky and cracking, but you attempt to cover it up by clearing your throat. "(Y/N)... you've been in here all day and THIS is all you could do? What have you been doing all day?", his voice began to grow into a semi-shout. It felt like thunder as it shook your body. You take a deep breath, attempting to toughen up to his words. "I really did try! I did exactly what you told me an-" he cuts you off before you can finish. "Really? You did exactly as I told you?! You said you could have this done by tonight and i trusted your judgement. But (Y/N) this shit is useless!"

He continues to fuss, but it was all silent to you. All you could hear was the echo of his voice saying that word. "Useless." The one thing you feared of becoming. The one thing you feared of creating. Your balled fists begin to shake. Your lip begins to quiver and your eyes grow cloudy.

"I'M SORRY!", you cry out before looking down at the floor, failing to control your tears as they fell to the floor. Suddenly, your eyes began to flood. Your stomach and heart felt like they were twisting and turning with guilt. He froze, unsure of how to handle this sudden outburst. "Was I too harsh?", he thought. "I'VE TRIED SO HARD TO BE GOOD ENOUGH. GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! I'VE TRIED TO PERFECT YOUR WORK. I'VE TRIED TO LOOK MY BEST EVERY DAY! FOR YOU! I'VE DONE EVERYTHING YOU'VE TOLD ME TO!", your whole body shakes as you break down. "I never told you that you had to do any of that! What the hell have you been pushing yourself so hard for?", his tone was still stern, but he wasn't angry. He was very concerned, but had no idea how to express it. "I WANTED TO MAKE YOU PROUD!", you continue to cry.

The room was silent other than your quiet sobbing. He didn't know what to say. He had no clue that you had put so much pressure on yourself to impress him. He had no idea on why it mattered so much to you. And in that moment, something in him began to ache. He remembered being like that once. So dead set on making others proud of him no matter what it took. He had no clue what to say due to no one ever being there for him in his time of struggle, so instead he goes for a more physical approach.

He grabs you by the arm and pulls you to his body, holding you close. You bury your face in his chest to try and muffle your cries. He runs his hand through your hair, still confused as to why you pushed yourself so hard for him. "I just..", you sniffle. "I just wanted to be good enough.. for you...", you say as you try to stop crying. He lifted you up, carrying you bridal style to the bed. He crawled up and sat his back against a pillow, continuing to hold you close as you buried your face in his neck.

"Look at me.", he held your chin in between his thumb and pointer finger and waited for you to face him. You sniffle and pull your head up to meet him eye to eye. There was a new look in his eyes. Something unfamiliar to the both of you. Tenderness. "You are good enough. And I am so proud of you. Everyday you make me proud. Every time I look at you I'm proud.", he begins to wipe the tears from your face, struggling to find the right words to say. "Look. You don't need to overwork yourself. The fact that you stick around with me to begin with is enough for me." A small smile begins to grow on your face. The sight warms him and helps reassure him that he didn't say anything dumb.

Once you've seemed to calm down, he pulls you in for a kiss. It was warmer than usual. Softer than usual. And Karl isn't a man known for being soft or gentle. But this kiss was far from rough, but just as passionate. It was reassuring and safe. He pulls away and smiles at the sight of your now blushing face. "There's my pretty girl. Now, if you feel like it... since we're already on the bed.. I think I know a thing or two you can do if you still wanna feel useful.", he offers with a sly grin. You giggle and begin to straddle his lap. "Sounds good to me." you say as his hands start to wander around your hips.

"But, we're gonna be doing something different.", he says as his eyes scan every inch of your body. "What's that?", you go to unbuckle his belt but he grabs your wrist before you can continue. "Tonight's all about you. I wanna make you feel good.", he says. During every sexual situation you've had, you had focused on pleasing him first, not thinking about yourself and your own wants and desires. You don't object, so he moves his hands back to your hips and pulls you off of his body, effortlessly tossing you onto your back on the bed.

He then pins himself above you, towering over you. Your heart races at the new experience and your face glows more and more pink. His eyes meet yours and the sight alone is enough to start making your panties grow wet. He lowers his face down to your neck where he begins to place little kisses. Chills run through your body like ocean waves and you let out a quiet gasp as a kiss turns into a nibble. A hickey begins to form and he lets go, moving his mouth to your ear. "I want you to tell me what you want, buttercup." he whispers in your ear as one of his hands begins to wander across your body. It starts up near your breast where he fondles it gently, earning a lip bite from you. Then, he goes lower to your stomach where he scratches lightly at your skin. You squirm beneath his hand. He smiles and begins to kiss you once more before going even further, slipping his hands into your pants and cupping your vagina through your soaking panties. You gasp while your lips are still connected and he gently tugs on your bottom lip with his teeth, pleased at the reaction he's gotten from you.

"Is this what you want?", he slips two of his fingers into your panties and finds your clit, rubbing it slowly. "Mhm", you whine and press yourself into him. "Goodgirl.", he moves from where he was and makes his way down to your pants. He unbottons them and begins to pull them off. He throws the pants across the room and crawls back towards you on the bed. He removes your shirt and your bra underneath, throwing them in the same direction of the pants. He lowers his head down to one of your hard nipples and wraps his mouth around it, caressing it with his tongue. This causes you to moan quietly and grip the sheets beneath you. Your nipple was already so tender, so the feeling of his tongue was powerful enough to make you squirm. He lowers his hand back into your panties, rubbing your clit with his thumb. Your knees bend inward, trapping his hand between your legs. He chuckles with your nipple gently between his teeth. "Looks like you like this, huh?" You moan in response.

It didn't take long for you to feel a climax building inside you, coming closer and closer to exploding with each touch he inflicted onto your throbbing clit. Moans of all volumes filled the room as you got closer and closer. Then, right when you were about to cum, he stops. You groan in disappointment and look over at him. "I was just warming you up.", he smirks and lays on his back. "Come here.", he commands and pats on his chest, signaling for you to sit there. You do as he says and sit upon his chest. The second you sit down, His strong hands grip onto your hips and he begins to pull your body towards his face. He places you on top of his mouth. The next thing you know, your soaked pussy is being attacked by his tongue. You can't help but let a moan slip out between your lips as he closes is eyes, fully focused on bringing you maximum pleasure. He places each hand on each thigh, gripping them slightly all while his tongue swirls around your clit. You use one hand to grip the headboard of the bed and the other one to grip his hair, tangling your fingers in the grey strands. You grip harder as he sucks on your clit, causing you to throw your head back in pleasure. He let loose a few muffled moans and groans, causing vibrations on your pulsing clit. "Oh fuck Karl!", you feel your body weight sink lower and lower as you melt into the pleasure of his tongue. You begin to grind your hips back and forth, riding out your orgasm. He doesn't mind at all and begins to work harder to finally push you to your limit. With a loud moan, you cum into his mouth.

As you catch your breath and shake on top of him, he grabs you once again and pushes you over onto the bed. His beard was shiny around his lips due to a mixture of your sweat and cum. He looks down at your flustered and flushed face, pleased with what he'd done. You noticed a large bulge protruding from his pants. "I want you.", you pant as you reach over, massaging the hard lump. He responds by stripping, too breathless to verbally respond. Once he's fully naked, he makes his way onto the bed. You take him by the shoulder and pull his face into yours, initiating a passionate make out session. Your tongues caressing one another as you both toss and turn, ending up with you straddling him.

You rub his already throbbing dick, preparing for its entry. It was quite large and veiny. The hair that led from his lower stomach to his pubic area glistened with precum. You position yourself and begin to sit on his dick, letting it slowly fit inside you. Your extra wetness helped lube it. Once it was completely in, Karl groaned, grabbing your ass in his calloused hands. "Fuck.. you're so good.", he encourages. You begin to slowly rise and fall, letting your pussy stretch to comfortably fit his girth. You both moaned quietly. Once you feel comfortable, you wrap your arms around his neck and begin to bounce on it, feeling each thick vein add texture. 'What a good girl..." Every time you made your way back down, you could feel the tip of his dick reach your special spot, making your knees feel weak. As overwhelming as it felt, you couldn't stop. You continued to bounce up and down on his dick as his fingers grip your ass for dear life. "You're doing so good.", he praises you and you thank him by clashing your lips together, sharing sloppy kisses as you both moan with each up and down motion. "Such a good girl.", he begins to squeeze your breast, causing you to squeal and pick up the pace. It felt amazing, but your legs grew weaker and weaker with each motion, and he could tell. You were panting as you fucked yourself senseless on his dick.

"Wait a sec.", he gently pats your ass to get you to stop. You stop and rest your sweaty forehead to his, legs shaking beneath you. You didn't want to stop, but you weren't sure how much longer you could continue. Your legs felt like they were on fire. 'Let me help you.", his hands glide up to your waist where he clutches your sides and begins to bounce you up and down, continuing the motion you could no longer do yourself. You kiss him and whine into his lips as he slams your body up and down, grunting harder each time. "Such a pretty girl.." he pants. "Riding my cock so good..", he begins to slam his hips into you, reaching a point inside you that he's never reached before. You throw your head back and moan, tears of pleasure and bliss begin to form in your eyes. You're both exhausted and so close to finishing. You're whole body felt like it was numb and on fire at the same time as your climax creeped closer and closer.

And with a few more strong pumps into you, you both cum. He lets loose of your sides and wraps his arms around your back, drenching in sweat. You collapse on top of him, unable to move any of your body. Karl places a few more sloppy kisses across your face, his facial hair tickling your skin. "Don't you ever.. ever believe you're not good enough. Got it?", he pressures. You're too exhausted to form words, so you simply nod your head, laying down on his chest. His heart beat was rapid but soothing. Soon enough, it lulled you to sleep. He soon followed, keeping his arms wrapped tight around you the entire time.

#re8 #resident evil 8 #karl heisenberg x you #karl heisenberg headcanon #karl heisenberg headcanons #karl heisenberg #karl heisenberg x reader #karl heisenburg x reader #karl heisenberg angst #karl heisenberg fanfic #karl heisenburg #karl heisenberg smut

[winter-soldier-vibes]

Hey darling ❤️ love your writing 3000 :) can u do one with Bucky x reader (they’re together) where he overhears the reader on the phone with her parents that are emotionally & verbally abusive towards her (they always have been) and the reader has to explain it all to him afterwards even tho she’s having a panic attack (bc she’s afraid bucky will leave her since she has no one else to go to ??) and bucky comforts her and reassures her that he’s gonna be there for her and like comfort fluff? I live in an emotionally abusive and manipulative household rn and I tell you your fics are like an escape for me. Even if u don’t do this thank you from the bottom of my heart :)

Hey there, I love you 3000 ❤ I am so so sorry to hear about your situation, and while I'm glad to hear that my writing is an escape for you, I want you to know that I'm here for you. No one should have to go through what you described. I hope that this can bring you some comfort but please, I encourage you to reach out to someone who can help you. My DM's are open as well, you shouldn't face this alone. I'm here for you!!!

You owe them nothing

Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 3200 (ish)

Warnings: emotional abuse/gaslighting, manipulation, parent issues, tears, angst, breakdown, fluff.

---------

You really tried to keep it hidden. It wasn’t something that everyone needed to know about.

Your parents loved you, at least that’s what they had said. But it was one of those things where you felt like it was for show - the kindness that they showed when you were around others faded away once you were alone with them.

You remember once they had said “of course I love you, I’m your parent!”

But that made you wonder how they would treat you if you weren’t theirs.

They were horrible to you for as long as you could remember. Gaslighting you and making you feel like you owed them something even though they were the ones who should have taken care of you.

They were around but never…there. They would be there for family dinners but they were always riddled with criticisms of grades and who you were talking to and how you dressed. All of your hobbies were seen as a waste of time, something you should only do when you had nothing else to do. School came first, naturally, but there was always something they told you you had to do before you could do anything for yourself.

Yet when you would complain about being depressed, they told you to get a hobby because you never do anything.

Tired meant lazy, energetic and passionate meant loud and annoying. When you were quiet they thought you had nothing to say, yet when you expressed your opinions you were told to shut up.

You couldn’t win.

You could never make them happy, there was always something you were doing wrong.

They thought it was their right to monitor who you talked to and saw, what you did outside of school, what sports you could join. When you would say no to the school dances or parties you would make up an excuse about not wanting to go or having work to do. Your friends would call you a buzz kill. Little did they know you would give anything to go.

Whenever you would do something wrong (or anything, period,), your parents would yell at you. They would curse you out, make you cry, only to yell at you for crying like a little bitch.

The older you got, the worse it was.

You thought when you moved out it would be better. But you had all these years of being told you were worthless and having them be your providers. When you got your own place you didn’t really have any friends, nor did you really know how to make friends. You had a job to help you get by, you could support yourself. That wasn’t the issue. You could support yourself, you always had to.

It was that you were so lonely.

You wanted friends but you were so afraid of the criticism you would get. You were afraid to make yourself known, because you were always taught that being told what to do and taught what to think was much more appealing than having your opinion.

But this was an opinionated world.

You were good at what you did, so good that you had gotten a job at S.H.I.E.L.D. You thought that would make you happy, more importantly that it would make your parents happy, but no such luck.

“I got a really great job, guys.”

“Fantastic. I guess you’re just doing so great without us,” they had snapped.

“What? I mean… this is what you wanted right? For me to get a good job?” you had said, confused.

You heard a loud sigh on the other end of the line. “Of course we do, what are you crazy about? Of course we wanted you to get a good job but you just deserted us like we were trash. Have we done nothing for you?”

You felt your heart sink in your stomach. ‘Of course you guys have, I love -”

“Don’t say what you don’t mean. If you really cared about us you’d be helping us out. You got a great job and probably have a huge paycheck that you hoard and you left us here to struggle to make ends meet.”

You took the phone away from your face temporarily to take a shaky breath. Of course they would go there with the salary, why wouldn’t they? All of your paychecks had gone to them, since it was their house and they were feeding you, leaving you with barely enough money for your car and gas and phone bills, only for them to suggest longer hours when you complained.

“I can help you guys out if you need,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

You heard an exasperated sigh on the other line again. “You really should be more grateful, you know? We raised you your entire life and then you leave us alone? You never even call us? You’re so fucking selfish.”

Then the line went dead.

You shook your head and felt tears in your eyes as you spoke to yourself. “Well maybe I would call you if it didn’t always yell at me.”

Of course, you would never say that.

See, it wasn’t so bad. You never said anything because they were only ever mean to you, which would make you uncomfortable. There were people out there that would get hit or who would have to raise themselves from a young age. Once you grew thick skin it wasn’t so bad, you were just being dramatic.

Right?

Your new job was fairly successful, you were fantastic at what you did. You did a lot of behind the scenes work, weapon repair and plans of action with missions. Not that they needed much help with that. Still, they took you in as their friends.

Well, as close as you would let them get to as friends.

It took a while before you warmed up to them. Everyone tended to keep to themselves, but not as much as you. You kept the parts of you hidden away - you were there for a job, you did it, and you did it well. You knew how to do your job but interacting with the team, making friends - you didn’t want to get emotionally attached.

Not like you knew how to make friends to begin with.

Naturally you were drawn to the quieter side of the team, once you were able to open up. They were all nice but sometimes the parties and the jokes were a bit much. You just didn’t want to say or do the wrong thing that would make you the punchline.

No one needed to know about you, or how you would spend your free time being yelled at through a phone with you trying to make it better. That wasn’t part of the job, so you shouldn’t bring it up.

It wasn’t like anyone would want to help. You were just a nuisance to everyone around you.

Right?

No one talked about their life before the team much. Not many people on the team had a great life before the Avengers first came together. Natasha or Wanda had once spoken about how this team was a family. And as much as you wanted to believe it, you helped the team. You weren’t a part of the team. So even if that were true, it didn’t include you.

At least, that was your point of view.

The team viewed you as a part of the team as much as any of them. You didn’t fight with them but you made sure everything would go as smoothly. You were kind and great at what you did, but they wished you would open up more. Of course, being a team of people who had trouble opening up, they understood.

Bucky was one of the ones who took a liking to you, mostly because he saw a lot of himself in you. He could tell there was something that you were trying to get past but weren’t quite able to yet. That there was something bothering but you wouldn’t dare say it for fear of bothering someone. You threw yourself into projects and distractions and from the way you carried yourself, he guessed you were avoiding something that you weren’t ready to work through. At least, not yet.

He knew that feeling too well.

The ex-assassin was one of the easiest for you to open up to because he didn’t expect much from interactions. Both of you were quiet and kept to yourselves that there wasn’t much pressure to share anything or say anything. You knew his past but would never bring it up unless he wanted to. Which eventually, he did. You could tell he felt pressure to be who he was before HYDRA took him, and while Steve was surprised he opened up to you first, you weren’t. Steve knew Bucky before everything, and you didn’t have that bias. He was whoever he was today regardless of who he was yesterday.

And Bucky found comfort in that.

You think you would’ve too, if you thought you deserved it enough to do the same.

See, you were worried that you were making everything worse than it really was. You worried that maybe you were being too sensitive or that what you had grown up with was normal. With everything that everyone on the team went through, a few insults from your parents was hardly anything. You were being dramatic.

There was nothing to be sad or angry about. You just had to get over yourself.

Right?

You were getting by until one night when your parents called, as they did on occasion. You were in the middle of working, so you ignored it. The phone went to voicemail before it started ringing again, and you ignored it, again. The third time you sighed and picked up your phone, turning away from your work.

You took a deep breath before you answered. “Hello?”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

You closed your eyes and brought a hand to rub your head. “Well I’m doing fine, thank you, how are you?”

“Don’t give me that attitude. What the fuck are you doing? You’ve been ignoring our calls.”

You stood up to pace the floor slightly, dreading the conversation that was coming. Is it the ‘family is most important’ or the ‘where’s my money?’ speech today? “I’ve been working.”

“What, so work is more important than family now? Is that what this is? You don’t care about us?”

Family speech it is.

“Dad -”

“What if one of us was dying? Huh? Would that be important?”

“Stop it. No one is dying, and I was working. And I have more work to do, so I really have to go.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, I’m your father.”

Gaining confidence you gritted your teeth and snapped, “You know what? I’m an adult now so you can’t tell me what to do.”

There was silence on the other end of the line and you could practically hear the steam coming out of your father’s ears.

At some point Bucky had come down to your working space to check on you, seeing as it was nearly morning. He stopped in the doorway, and seeing you were busy on the phone he thought he would stop by later to give you some privacy. But he stopped when he heard you snap.

You never snap.

“Who do you think you’re talking to you ungrateful little bitch?”

“I’m talking to the people who treated me like shit my entire life and ask me for money when you wouldn’t give me the time of day for 18 fucking years.”

Even you couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth. But god did it feel good to say them.

“Are you fucking serious right now? We did nothing for you? What do you think we’ve been doing your whole life? We’ve done everything we did to help you be the best person you could be. You have that job now because of us and you have no right to speak to me that way.”

You chuckled darkly as you looked up at the ceiling, unaware of Bucky’s presence behind you. “My entire life all I’ve ever wanted to do was make you guys proud of me. But you know what? I’m fucking done. You hated me, gaslighted me, and made me hate myself almost as much if not more than you seemed to hate me.”

“I did no such thing you ungrateful -”

“You were supposed to love me and care for me, and all you did was take advantage of me. I’m not your child, I’m a paycheck. I don’t owe you anything because you gave me nothing. So you know what? FUCK. YOU.”

You hung up the phone and tossed it across the room, adrenaline taking over your body as you tried to stop shaking. Because a small part of you felt bad.

But fuck did that feel amazing.

You heard a throat clear behind you and you turned around to see Bucky, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“You okay?”

You nodded nervously, rubbing the sides of your arms. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you said, unconvincingly. “How much, uh...how much did you -

“Enough,” he said, pushing himself off of the door frame as he crossed over to you. “Who was that?”

“Bucky, don’t, it’s really fine. I just got a little worked up.”

“Y/n,” he started, looking at you with concern. “Who were you talking to?”

“No one.”

“You don’t get upset like that at no one,” he took your hands in his. “Y/n, you're shaking.”

It was then that you realized your hands were still shaking, trying to keep the anxiety of what happened at bay.

It’s going to be so much worse now.

I can never talk to them again.

Is that a good thing? Didn’t I want that?

Bucky could sense you getting lost in your head. “Sweetheart, tell me what happened, please. I want to help you.”

You pulled your hands away from his and crossed your arms. “You can’t help me because there’s nothing wrong, okay? I handled it, it’s over. Done. nothing to worry about.”

“Y/n -”

“No really, there’s nothing you can do, okay?”

“Will you at least let me try?”

You looked at him, adrenaline starting to drain from your system. This was Bucky, your Bucky, who had never done anything but love and support you. He had never done anything to hurt you.

But what if he left you too?

You took in a sharp breath and curled in on yourself, a scared look on your face. Bucky crossed back over to you, seeing a scared look on your face.

“Hey, hey, y/n? Can you look at me?”

You brought your eyes up to meet his, feeling your chest constricting as you tried to keep your breathing even. It wasn’t working.

“I - I’m sorry, you shouldn’t… I’m fine really I’m sorry, I’m so sorry”

“Hey, it’s alright, it’s okay, you have nothing to apologize for,” he pulled you in for a hug and kissed the top of your head. “Let’s go sit down, okay?’

He led you over to your bed and you leaned forward, hands on your knees and head in your hands. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s happening, this - I’m sorry, it’s so stupid, I’m so stupid.”

Bucky rubbed a hand up and down your back, hushing you. “It’s not stupid. If it’s bothering you, it’s not stupid.” Bucky took a small breath. “Do you remember all of those times after nightmares and all those panic attacks you would walk me through? How I thought I was being stupid?”

“You weren’t being stupid”

“And neither are you.”

You took some more shaky breaths as tears kept falling down your face. “You’re okay. It’s alright, I’m right here.”

Bucky let you calm down, knowing you would talk about it if you wanted to. He wanted you to talk about it so he could help you (and hurt whoever upset you) but he wouldn’t force you into telling him anything you didn’t want to.

The two of you sat in the silence, Bucky looking at you with soft eyes as you kept your face hidden.

“I haven’t told you a goddamn thing about me. You ever wonder why?”

You looked over at Bucky, eyebrows creased with slight confusion.

“They said blood was supposed to be thicker than water. That family comes first, right? I spent my whole life listening to them and following them and being the perfect kid. I made myself into everything they wanted me to be. And it still wasn’t enough for them.”

Bucky tilted his head slightly. He hadn’t known his parents much before they died but he had always wanted to have more time. But he wasn’t oblivious to the fact that not everyone had good parents.

“You know, I remember thinking that once I made it they would be happy. That if I worked hard enough or went onto do great things that they would be proud of me. That’s all I ever wanted, you know?” you said, voice wavering as you let out a bitter laugh. “But it’s not, you know? Never is, never was, never will be. All they do is take and take and no matter how good I am they’re always gonna hate me because I can’t be perfect.”

“No one’s perfect, y/n.”

“Well that’s what they want me to be. I know I can’t be perfect so I know they’ll never be happy. That they’ll call me ungrateful and selfish for succeeding and for leaving them when they never wanted me to be there to begin with.” You felt tears spill over as you wiped them away. “And I’m ust so fucking done with being a disappointment to them and to everyone else.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“I don’t know,” you said softly, not really wanting to be more vulnerable.

Bucky, sensing this was a time he could push you, challenged you. “I think you do.”

You shook your head. “I didn’t want anyone to see me the way they did. I thought what they said wasn’t true but...I just thought that maybe I was overreacting. Other people have it worse you know - some people have no parents or some have it so much worse. Mine just yell at me you know? Tell me everything’s my fault and that they wish they’d never had me. That I’m ungrateful for not being with them and that I owe them. I just...I heard that for the first 18 years of my life. I didn’t need any more of it.”

“y/n, that’s…” he swallowed, trying to contain his anger. “That’s not normal. No one should have to go through that. You can’t possibly think you're a bad person.”

Your shrug was enough to tell him that you did.

“Y/n, I don’t know who your parents think they are but you don’t owe them a damn thing. You may be related to them but you have no obligation to love your parents if they treat you like that. You have every right to be angry or to hate them. It doesn’t make you a bad person to be angry with someone who hurt you.”

“But they’re my family.”

“Well they didn’t treat you like it. You have us now, you don’t need them anymore. We’re your family. And we’re not gonna leave you.”

“They didn’t leave me Bucky, I left them.”

“You can’t leave someone who was never there for you.”

----------

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[hotwings0203]

Bully!Dabi pt. 3

Tags: @shikamaruscumrag @pinkiy13l @an-ambivalent @luno614 @sukunasleftkneecap

Tw:dubcon, noncon, bullying, manipulation, Russian roulette

“Doll? Come on out and I won’t hurt you too bad.”

You wait with bated breath as he walks right past your hiding place behind some crates, blue fire licking up the sides of his body and held in the palms of his scarred hands.

He’s mad, you know he is. He’s teasing you, of course he is, why else wouldn’t he just turn on the lights and pounce?

No, this is another punishment of sorts. A punishment for escaping your previous punishment from being locked in your room.

Another lash of burning cobalt strikes against a wall about 10 feet away from you, and you curse yourself internally. If only you had just stayed in bed a couple days more, if only you hadn’t snuck out when he left, if only, if only…

“Baaaabbyyyyy”

It sounds so wrong and uncharacteristic coming out from his gravely voice.

You huddle your limbs even closer to yourself, paying no mind to the cramping in your knees from being squished for so long.

It’s been about 25 minutes or so from what you can remember. It’s hard to remember anything that happened this bland morning anyways when the climax of your life was seemingly taking place here, after you entered the wrong room.

You had honestly just wanted a peek outside of Dabi’s room and maybe a drink of water, nothing more.

Or so you tell yourself.

But can you really be blamed? Who else wouldn’t have run out the moment they got a chance after spending almost two weeks in the same shitty room, being used as fuckmeat and only given bread scraps and salty cum as meals.

It didn’t matter how close he held you at night, how his strokes seemed to brush up against all the right places, how he tried catching your eye every time he wanted to talk about anything (which you would never really indulge in, only giving him a soft grunt or a nod). He was a monster, a demon in disguise that was keeping you against your will in his clutches.

A loud crash closer than before hits your ears, and you stifle an impending whimper. You can tell he’s roamed closer than before, finding nothing from his earlier place in the front of the storage room.

“I’m getting pretty fucking tired of repeating myself doll. You must be even more of a masochist than I thought since it’s like you want me to fuck you up even worse than I did before.”

His words are quiet but they do enough to cause a loud beating in your already-pacing heart, so loud in fact that you fear he can hear it racing a mile a minute.

You wonder if anyone is nearby, if they even remember you’ve been missing for a while now.

“Y/N”

“Come out, pretty girl. You know I miss you”

But you don’t miss him.

What you do miss, however, is not being chased into an empty storage room and hounded like a fucking dog. You miss joking with Twice, painting your nails with Toga, making Shigaraki chuckle.

All of a sudden, the crate next to you is covered with hellfire. The flames that are thrust from Dabi’s hands are so wild that they seat through your shirt and prick your skin.

You scream and scrabble backwards, the light of his fire illuminating his face leering up above you in the dark like a ghoul from a children’s book.

You clap your hands over your mouth, ignoring your bubbling skin as fear overrides premonition, but the damage has already been done.

It’s eerily quiet for a minute. Then, he whispers,

“Found you”

Even in the pitch black room you can practically see him lunging towards you, and you scuttle backwards on your hands and feet in terror. His hands miss your bare feet by a few inches, and he snarls before making another swipe.

“Fucking bitch, this is the thanks I get for taking care of you, bathing you, feeding and fucking you?”

You yelp as he lights up the floor on both sides of your trembling body, and you see his figure once more as the blue fire shows the sick grin twisted up on his face.

“Leave me alone,” you sob, clambering up on your feet and running backwards as he advances on you. The smoke from his quirk is filling the room, and you erupt in hoarse coughs as it’s filtered through your aching lungs.

Everything about him is toxic.

“Nah. That’s not how this works sweetheart. You see, I take care of you, and in return, you do whatever the fuck I say when I say it.”

He raises his palms to you and you flinch, covering your head and colliding with the wall behind you. You’re too scared and tired to evade him again as you feel his body cover you and brush against yours as you shake in place, your arms still above your face.

He cooes at you. “There there, my stupid little bitch. You were scared daddy was gonna hurt you, right?”

His stitched palm caresses your bitten bottom lip and trails up to your tear-stained cheek.

After a moment of you saying nothing, he slaps the side of your face, hard, and you gasp in pain. Now it wasn’t just your stomach that felt on fire.

“I asked you a question, you brain dead whore. Are you scared daddy’s gonna burn you? ‘You scared he’s gonna beat you black you blue? ‘Scared he’s gonna cut a gaping hole in your burnt tummy and fuck the gash?” He leans in and lets his raspy words settle over your ears as he tenderly brushes your hair away from it. He softly kisses the shell of you ear, and when you sob quietly he wraps his arms around your middle and hugs you close, paying no heed to how you uncomfortably squirm when your raw torso burns from the contact.

You squeeze your eyes shut and try not to inhale too much, lest the smoke embedded all over his body gets too close for comfort in your system.

“Y-yes daddy. Please don’t hurt me, I was…a bad girl.” You cringe when the words are wobbled out, but you know it’s what he wants.

To humiliate you, to hurt you. Who was he kidding when he said he loved you?

Dabi, however, feels butterflies in his own stomach.

See, this is what you need. To answer to Daddy, to submit to him so that he can take care of you. That’s why you stayed so long in his room, right? It’s cause you knew it would make him happy if you listened to him. You let him make love to you, and treat you like his little girl because deep down, you know this is where you belong.

So why are you fighting him? You never raised a complaint for a week and a half, you only stayed quiet and kept your eyes shut when he asked if you were okay. That means you liked it, right? No real opposition, after all.

Except for now.

Dani is honestly disappointed in you right now, you were doing so well…so why’d you have to go and ruin it?

He might’ve softened from the way your body shakes and your sobs are muffled by his smoke-scorched jacket as you press against him for comfort, but the image of you turning around and running away when you saw him earlier hurts him too much.

It angers him.

Why the fuck were you so scared? Hasnt he shown you enough that he loved you? What, does he need to fucking spell it out for you?

Why were your eyes filled with such terror when he caught you? Did you turn away from him and run because you thought he was going to make you look like him, all burnt up and hideous?

Honestly, he would never, but if you’re so hellbent on making him the bad guy, then fine, he’ll play the bad guy.

Anything for his precious little girl.

And so he tightens his arms around you and chuckles cruelly when you whine at the lack of air.

“Well, you were right. I am pretty pissed, I mean I told you to come out and you didn’t listen right?”

“S-sorry,” you weakly choke out.

He laughs even more crazed now, crushing your ribs so tight he could actually hear your breath wheezing out of you, could feel your weak little punches against his back.

“Sorry isn’t going to cut it. No no, I want you to beg for your fucking life now.”

Your eyes widen as his arms begin to warm up and become unbearably hot.

“Dabi, no, no please!”

You writhe in pain as he cackles above you, savoring the choked breaths that emit from your wetted lips.

As soon as you begin to see spots, he releases you, and flings you against the corner of the room.

You go flying and bang your head against the concrete wall, his voice muted and swimming around in your ears as you fight for consciousness.

He saunters towards you in all his flaming glory, hands in his pockets as if he were walking out for some fresh air. He crouches in front of you and lifts your head with the pads of his fingers.

“Awww, my poor little girl. That had to have hurt, huh? You’re bleeding,” he cooes and blows a strand of hair away from your eyes.

He’s not lying, you can feel hot blood trickle down the side of your head as your vision sways.

“Stop this,” you pant. “I get it, I’m sorry- you were right and I was wrong, I shouldn’t have ran. I’ll listen to you from now on-“

“-But you said that last time, didn’t you?” He cocks his head and with the light of his turquoise fire against the shadows of the room, he looks like a being from hell itself.

“Remember? When you sucked me off like the dirty whore you are? Remember that you stupid cunt?” His grin becomes more reminiscent of a wolf baring its fangs, and you’re rendered silent in complete terror.

He takes your silence as an encouraging factor to continue his fun.

“You ever played Russian Roulette, Y/N?”

You have enough sense to quickly shake your head, a sinking feeling in your stomach forming at his implication.

“Me neither. But I kinda wanna try it right now. So, back against the wall. Stand up straight and spread your legs.”

You look at him incredulously. “You can’t be serious Dabi.”

He raises an eyebrow and a fire grows in the palm of his hand. “Wanna find out? Oh wait, you already are- now do what I said otherwise you’ll have one less leg.”

You don’t need more motivation to act on his orders.

Taking a deep breath, you hesitantly spread your legs and place your palms flat against the wall.

“Spread ‘em more. That shouldn’t be anything new to you.”

You wince at his dig but continue to widen the stance between your legs.

He smiles at your compliance.

“Good. This should be fairly easy, I mean the room is already dark enough to count as having a blindfold. Whatever you do, just don’t move.”

You wouldn’t know it, but he’s sincerely saying it for your sake. He’s glad for the safety of the dark, because he doesn’t want you to see the way he hastily wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans as he prepares himself for his next move.

The room goes dark, his fire has been put out.

You inhale softly, blood pounding in your heart as your hands shake in anticipation.

Then all of a sudden, a fireball comes barreling right towards you, in between your parted legs.

You shriek and jerk, but luckily you’re saved from being singed.

“I told you not to move, babe.” He clicks his tongue and rubs his erection absentmindedly.

A second, then third bolt of fire comes at the side of your head, singing your hair and then dangerously close to your already burnt stomach.

At each one you sob and do your best not to move, not to take in Dabi’s utterly emotionless face as you wail for mercy.

The last one comes so powerful that as it strikes the wall next to you, flecks of ash sting your cheeks and lips.

Your knees are jelly, your mouth is aching from begging for your life as he wanted.

But you know he’s done when he lets out a loud yawn and groan as he stretches his arm and flexes his fingers.

“A-are we done?” You sniffle.

He says nothing at first. You just hear him ask a couple steps towards you, his boots echoing in the room. You assume he stops in front of you because you can feel his body in front of your kneeling figure.

His hand descends and feels around until he reaches the top of your head. Stroking softly, he twirls locks through his fingers and gently shushes you until your hiccups subside, and you lean your forehead against his thigh.

“‘You happy it’s done? You did so well for me, sweetheart.”

“Yes Dabi. Thank you,” you utter softly, knowing it’s what he wants to hear.

“Yeah? How thankful are you?”

You still at that.

He starts to unbuckle his belt.

You pull your head back, and he pulls his pants down.

“Dabi-“

“Shhh, don’t ruin this. Just keep your mouth shut and let your body do the talking. Show me how grateful you are that I spared your fucking life.”

The gentle way he handled you clashed with his harsh words, and you have a moment of whiplash.

He kneels down in front of you and lets his hands wander in the dark until he meets your torso.

You hiss at the sensitive flesh, but he doesn’t stop. He just moves his hand under your shirt and higher, pushing your bra up until your tits spill from the bottom of it.

He bites his lip as you whimper from his touch, his thumbs swirling around your nipples and prodding the squishy flesh.

Dabi gets more eager when you throw your head back at one particularly rough squeeze and shuffles even closer, his pants and underwear at his knees, member bouncing out in the open air.

“Take your panties off,” he rasps, furiously stroking his cock.

You surrender and slowly pull your sweats off, and then your panties as you hear him lightly panting in eagerness.

The second he hears them drop to the floor he lunges for your feet and yanks your forward, catching you in his lap as you yelp.

It’s pitch black, but he can feel you clear as day.

The tickle of your hair hanging in his face, your sweet smell clouding his rationale, the melodious sounds of fear and pleasure mixed with pain make his prick stand painfully at attention, weeping at the slit for your pussy.

He doesn’t even bother taking your shirt off in impatience, he simply barks at you to hold the hem up so he can feel your breasts bouncing against his face when he motorboats them.

You, however, shakily hold his hand at your waist when he pulls you forward until your bare hole presses against his length, coating it with light juices.

“Oh fuck, doll, your pussy’s practically begging me to fuck it. ‘You like having your life in danger? No wonder you keep fucking up,” he groans as he moved beneath you, letting his hips rock back and forth to gain friction from under you.

“Wait, go slowly-“

“No the fuck I won’t,” he interrupts. You have enough sense to bite back any retorts from the subtle growl in his words.

He lifts you up from underneath your ass, and you raise your hips in compliance as he grabs his dick, circling it around your swollen nub and then pressing it against your entrance.

You breath shakily and run your hands through his hair, not so much in a loving gesture but tightly in futile hopes to deter him in any possible way.

He takes it either way as you wanting him equally, and without further ado he slams your hips down on his whole length.

You howl in pain as he begins bouncing you, pressing down on your shoulders and forcing your poor cunt to envelope him fully at each stroke.

The room is filled with the lewd sounds of your ass clapping on his dick, the mixed fluids from both of your bodies and the harmonies of his low grunts and your high pitched whines.

You can feel his dick twitch violently inside of you as he nears his climax. He flips you over on your back and starts pounding into you, laughing cruelly in your face as you cry out from the intensity of his strokes.

“D-Dabi! Pull out, I’m not on birth control!”

“Good.”

You open your eyes to stare at him in horror, barely making out the marred features of his face.

“I’m gonna fill you up with my babies. You’re gonna be plugged with my cum from now on, ‘s the only way you’ll stop running.”

“Get the fuck off me, this isn’t funny-!”

He grabs your rising fists and pins them back against the floor, crushing your wrists in the process.

“Who said I’m laughing?” And he isn’t laughing anymore, no, on the contrary he looks the most serious that he’s ever been, and that terrifies you the most.

The upper half of his body is suspended in midair above you as his pelvis smashes against your clit in a steady rhythm.

“‘Bet you’d like that, bet you’d like having all your holes stuffed with my kids. They’re gonna grow up and know how slutty their mommy was, they’re gonna watch and learn how Daddy earned his name. You think they’ll cry when they hear you scream for me?”

You want to rip out your ears from the filth pouring from his mouth, but unfortunately your hands are trapped under his grasp.

All you can do is chant “no, no, no,” under your breath as he’s pushed over the edge.

“Or maybe I’ll tie your legs against the barstools outside and let every man out there have his way with you. You missed them, right? I’m sure they missed you too, I’m sure they missed the way you’d fuck them the second they made you laugh,” bitterness seeps into his voice as ropes of cum shoot out.

He moans loudly in your ear and collapses against your body, sweat intermingling in the cervices of your entangled limbs.

It takes around three minutes for you both to catch your breaths, and for him to shakily raise himself on his elbows to peer down into your ruddy face.

“Clean yourself up. You’re going back to my room. And this time, if you try to run we’ll repeat this entire process again, but I’ll actually let everyone have their way with you. It’ll be like an orgy version of Russian Roulette, well all place bets on whose kid it is.”

You don’t miss the rest of the League, anymore

#tw:noncon #tw:misogyny #tw: bullying #Dabi smut #mha dabi #yandere dabi x reader #yandere Dabi #Dabi mha #dabi oneshot #dabi imagine #bnha dabi #bnha yandere #bnha smut

[chewiedon]

hello! could i maybe request a sort-of follow up to ur toxic traits genshin post? maybe something where g/n reader breaks up with them and they’re (genshin) miserable over it? would love to see!

aaaa ofc ofc !! i worked on this longer than i probably needed to lol. i couldn’t make all of them, so i just put the top three :D

DILUC

You had told him right after Angel’s Share had closed and the tavern was empty besides you two.

His first thought when you told him you wanted to end it was that it was a joke.

After a long conversation with him about it, the only emotion coursing through his veins was hot and burning rage.

You, breaking up with HIM? It’s the biggest insult to him and his ego and pride had taken a swan dive off of the summit.

He tried his best to be reasonable and not get violent, but as soon as you had raised your voice he backhanded you right across the cheek.

After the breakup he had assumed you’d come crawling back. But you didn’t.

Regrettably, he had threatened to blackmail you. Threatening to leak all your precious little secrets, however none of them were directly illegal. Just embarrassing, nothing that’ll get you into much trouble.

Somehow he went from threats to straight up obsession, taking whatever remnants he could find of you. If you drank out of a certain cup at his tavern, he’d drink from it too. Diluc’s obsessed with the idea of ‘indirectly kissing’ ever since the breakup.

_____

“You’re being delusional, (Y/N). You don’t want to leave, you just feel pressured to.” Diluc’s voice was low.

You huffed, in awe almost, “Delusional? No. You don’t know when to get off your high horse and I’m sick of it. I thought you might have a change in heart but you’re too stubborn to see mistakes, especially in yourself.”

You had tried your best to keep your voice level to a minimum, not wanting to yell at him. Diluc set his hands on to the counter, and after a brief moment of silence he slammed his fists on to the wooden surface making you jolt. You could hear the glass bottles around you almost begin to shatter at the sudden shake.

“You’re being unreasonable!” Diluc started, “I’ve done so much for you just to leave me high and dry… Am I just some wallet to you (Y/N)?”

Your heart rate began to race, hoping to the bottom of your heart he wouldn’t hurt you. Quickly, you stood up and walked towards the exit.

“No, I loved you. For a long time, but not enough to deal with your bullshit.”

KAEYA

Plays it cool, thinking it’s some kind of prank or something like that.

After a while, he starts to realize you’re being serious and something inside him snaps.

“I was just kidding, princess! You know that right? I’d never do anything to deliberately hurt you, I’m not like that!”

He refuses to let you go, even after you’ve ended the relationship he still tells people you two are still dating.

“(Y/N)’s just throwing a little tantrum, nothing serious.”

_____

You stormed into Kaeya’s office, slamming the door behind you. Kaeya was sitting on his desk, his left leg over his right skimming through a book that rested on his lap. His attention gliding over from the text to you, slowly.

“You’re a real fucking riot you know that? I told you I was sick of your shit and now you’re clinging on to me like a piece of gum on to the bottom of my shoe,” you hissed, malice laced in your tone, “Stop playing like I’m the bad guy, grow a pair and move on.”

Kaeya’s cocky tone sounded like nails on a chalkboard to you, “Baby, you know you can’t get rid of me just like that, right?” he demonstrated with a snap of his fingers. “It’s cute watching you try though-”

“Keep this shit up and I’m quitting, the knights have opened up more than enough opportunities for me. I stayed here because a part of me wanted to hang on to you, even though our relationship has ended.” You emphasized the last part.

A quick click of his tongue and his smirk faded.

“You know what I’m tired of? The miscommunication, I don’t think you understood when I said you were mine.”

A moment of silence before the clicking of his office door filled the walls.

“I’m not some toy you can choose when, and when you can't play with.”

Another loud slam from you as you had shut the door on the way out, with hopes you’d never have to step into that horrid room ever again.

ALBEDO

His work was precious to him, and you respected that as much as you could.

You only had so much patience, and each of his projects were running it thinner by the day.

Not to mention how much time he spent with Sucrose alone, and whenever you brought it up to him or Sucrose herself the both of them seemed speechless.

When he came back to Mondstadt briefly to go over some plans with Sucrose, and you had got Jean to squeeze in some time to have a small conversation with Albedo himself.

“Darling,” he said as he embraced you, his limbs seemingly tired, “I missed you so much, why are you here?”

After a careful explanation his face seemed unreadable, disbelief was all over his features. His eyes fell onto the floor while his throat swelled up.

You had to leave with a very heavy heart and an even heavier burden of guilt.

Albedo comes to your formerly shared home almost nightly, to grovel at your feet begging you to take him back. Spewing inaudible apologies.

_____

“I’m so sorry,” you shifted your body away, about to exit the knights’ headquarters.

“Wait!” Albedo’s voice echoed through the halls, stopping you in your tracks.

“Please don’t go, I’ll do anything but please don’t go… I can’t do any of this without you. I’ll work less, I’ll do anything for you, I promise-!” he tripped over his own feet, Sucrose rushing to his side.

“No! Don’t leave me! You’re all I have left-!” His cries were silenced at the quiet slam of the door closing.

Your figure disappearing from his view.

#diluc genshin impact #kaeya genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact angst #diluc x reader #yandere diluc x reader #kaeya x reader #albedo x reader #albedo genshin impact #reader insert #anime x reader #genshin impact

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Draw your swords, pt. 13

Summary: Terrified of losing Y/N, the Darkling lets his defenses fall.

Warnings: angst, slight fluff, sexual content

Part one // Part two // Part three // Part four // Part five // Part six // Part seven // Part eight // Part nine // Part ten // Part eleven // Part twelve  

=================================

“Stay with me”, the Darkling trembled as he rushed back to the camp. He held her body close to his chest, her head slumped right where his heart beats thunderstorms in her name.

She’s slipping away, he can feel it. The injuries she suffered and the power she used weakened her irreversibly.

He should be angry with her, enraged, but he had no strength to spare for violent emotions. His heart couldn’t bare much more than the pain he found himself drowning in. It wasn’t the pain of his own wounds, rather the pain of her parted lips and ragged breaths that came like final gushes of air her lungs released.

“HEALER!” He shouted, hoping, praying to the Saints he never believed in before.

“HEALER!” There was something in his screams for help, an unimaginable pain behind it.

Y/N’s fingers twitched, her chest rising in a strange manner; what should expand with an inhale suddenly draws in, a paradox he had seen in dying soldiers.

“HEALER!” It was the kind of scream that went straight for the heart.

Everyone tensed, following the Darkling – a man who never showed genuine emotion other than rage. His call for healers felt like a cry from the heart and soul that stretched across the foundations of who he is. The anguish tore through him as he saw a healer run toward him.

Letting out a shuddered breath in relief, he collapsed to his knees. “Not me!” He growled as the healer tried placing her hands on him, “Help her! Save my wife!”

Nodding, the healer looked down at Y/N with wide eyes. Another healer arrived too, then another, and another.

The Darkling refused to let her out of his embrace as two of the healers tried to take her away. “No!”

“We have to take her”, the first healer insisted. “She doesn’t have long and we have to act fast and that’s not going to happen while you’re clinging to her!” Eyes wide, she covers her mouth as it dawns on her who she’s speaking to. “Respectfully, General.”

Staring at her with raw suffering, Aleksander licked his trembling lips. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her. Leaning in, he pressed a kiss to her temple instead of her forehead – forehead kisses in this moment would feel as if he’s kissing her corpse before her final rest. 

He couldn’t stomach that thought.

“If you die, I’ll never forgive you”, he whispers. 

This isn’t how it’s meant to be, how it’s supposed to be. He could never believe anyone ever loved anyone the way he loves her.

Nothing ever made him so frightened as the thought of losing her.

“Take her”, Mal tells them. Looking down at Kirigan who seemed incapable of standing back up on his own, he realized he had to take over.. “And send someone for your General. Send everyone for the wounded in the field.”

Aleksander looked up, jaw clenched and eyes swimming in tears he has yet to shed.

“I’m not leaving”, Mal quipped. “She’s my General.”

Y/N wasn’t able to scream, despite the pain darkening her mind. She tried to focus on her breathing, on staying alive. The only awareness she had was of Aleksander’s arms around her – she felt his scent. When he touched her face, when he tried to gain her attention, she couldn’t open her eyes. Her ears kept ringing, mixing with a rumbling inside his chest. She managed to blink her eyes open once, just one more time to see him, but all she managed to get was a glimpse of his chin and beard.

She wondered how he’d look without it, if it would make him seem boyish, softer. Maybe it would have erased the burden on his shoulders - they may be wide, but they shouldn’t have to carry all that weight alone.

Suddenly, his scent was gone. She tried to reach for him, but her arms could not move, hanging freely instead. Cold seeped in, clinging to her insides, wrapping itself around her heart.

Slowly, her agony had faded. The pain gradually lifted, dissipating like fog. For a moment, she wondered if this is what death feels like – no more pain? No more suffering? Being alone and cold?

Despite everything, if she had a choice, she’d embrace the pain. If pain means she would return to him, to his warm arms, she’d gladly suffer.

Dizzy, confused, she felt herself being pulled up into reality. The disjointed haze receded enough for her to make sense of the world around her. Her eyelids feel heavy as she opens her eyes, the edges of her vision flickering. Blinking fast, her eyebrows knitted as her vision blurred.

‘Aleksander’, she wanted to call, but couldn’t say a word. 

How odd it is that he’s the last one she thought about when she thought she’d die and he’s still the first one to come to mind when she wakes? 

She no longer felt cold. He always had the ability to keep the cold away.

Sniffling, she jerked her hands away as she became aware of another’s touch. Sitting up on a table she was laid upon, she pulled herself aside before looking to the one who touched her earlier.

“It’s just me”, he raised his hands in mock surrender. “I needed to see you.” His voice is soft, sweet like honey.

Scoffing, she narrows her eyes at him and the cup of water he held out for her to take. Her mouth is dry, her throat like sandpaper. She may be angry with him, but the water he held out felt more important than their fight.

“Are you in any pain?” He asks, watching her drink all of the water in one go. “I could have them come and take it away.”

Letting out a loud sigh, she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. Raising an eyebrow, she licked her dry lips.

“Can they take you away?”

Snorting, he suppresses a smile. As long as she’s capable of annoying him, she’s going to be fine.

“What were you thinking?” Threading his fingers through his hair, Aleksander frowned. “You could have died.”

“Would have saved you a lot of trouble in the future”, she quips. Standing, she stumbles.

Feeling his hands on her waist, Y/N felt her heart skip a beat. Even now, when she’d like nothing more than to walk away, her body reacts to him. Looking up at him, she inhales sharply as she sees the tears in his eyes.

“I’m scared”, he admitted and she blinked.

“Of what?” She frowned, “Me?” Does her power frighten him? Because it frightens her.

He shook his head, “Of me”, he looked at her. His hands trembled as they touched her skin, “I’m scared of hurting you.”

“I’m scared of you hurting me, too.”

Dropping his hand, he takes a step back. “I don’t think I’m capable of ever hurting you.”

“Tell that to my neck”, she remarks. Her hand brushes over where his hand had tightened its grip just the night before, fixing his gaze on him. He seemed to regret it.

‘Good’, she thought. ‘I hope it haunts him, because it will haunt me.’

“I apologize”, Aleksander swallows thickly. He can’t remember the last time he apologized to someone. A part of him questioned if he ever apologized for anything he’s done in his unusually long life. “I had no right to act the way I did.”

“You once told me I could choose the way to punish you if you ever hurt me”, she takes his hand, intertwining their fingers.

Aleksander nods, “I’m a man of my word.”

“What’s your name”, she asks. “Real name.”

His eyes locked on hers like magnets of different polarities. Isn’t that exactly what they are? She’s his polar opposite in every way, fated to attract.

“Aleksander Morozova.” He uttered a name long forgotten; a name he wanted to forget. 

Aleksander was a weak boy who failed everyone that cared for him. He was soft, young, naïve and a damned fool for ever believing Grisha would ever be free. Even now as he elevated their status, Grisha had to serve a human – the Tsar.

Her eyes held barely contained anger. As her hands clasped, a few stray flickers of light appeared on her fingertips. Unclasping her hands immediately, she raised her chin up. “I want to know everything. Tell me your story.”

“And when will I hear yours?” Darkling demanded, swiping his thumb under his lower lip.

“You seem to mistake this for negotiations”, she maintained eye contact defiantly. “Last night you told me to either go back to the Palace or to cross the fold and return to my father. It’s a choice that would easily mean I can choose to stay with you or leave and never look back.”

Placing a hand on his chest, Y/N smirked. “You can either tell me the whole truth or watch me leave.” She spoke through gritted teeth, “Don’t push me unless you’re willing to lose.” 

Cupping his left cheek, she allowed a luminescent glow cast a light on his handsome features. She was angry, so angry and tired and her own power often terrified her. For once, she wanted to use it for her own benefit rather than hide it.

“What good will it do?” Aleksander’s bottom lip quivers as her light illuminates tears collecting in his dark eyes. “You’ll hate me as they all do. Even my mother saw me as a monster.”

“I’ve seen what you really are. And I never turned away…what makes you think I will now?”

She felt his jaw clench under the palm of her hand as he swallowed thickly, “You would if you could see my heart, all of it.”

Exhaling through her nose, she shook her head. Her eyes soften, her lips parting. How could she ever be indifferent to his suffering? She wished she could be colder, to leave him in tears and not look back. Hearing his words, his belief that he’s unlovable tugged at her heartstrings. 

"Have you no faith in me?"

In a fight, they’re lethal, but around each other their armor is gone.

“I’ve waited for you for centuries. I dreamed about you for hundreds of years before I ever saw your face. I longed for you, missed you, died and lived for you.” Taking her face in his hands, Aleksander bends. His forehead meets hers as his nose brushes against the tip of hers.

“Ever since I laid eyes on you, my dreams have been clearer, focused on you. And in my dreams I am kissing your mouth and you’re whispering ‘where have you been’”, his eyes overflow with tears as he continues with a fractured smile. “I say, ‘I’ve been lost, but I’m here now’.” 

Swallowing thickly, he felt as if his heart was breaking. “You’re the only person who has ever been able to find the real me. You saw me underneath all the darkness.” Reaching for her hand, his fingers tremble. “I was waiting for you without knowing it. I’ll make up for all the mistakes, for all the years I was supposed to be kissing you.”

“So why is it so hard for you to be honest with me?” She whispers, her hands trembling as they hold onto his shoulders.

His frown deepens, “Why weren’t you honest with me?”

“You once joked and said I’m no Inferni”, she shrugged. “You were right about that. My mother was. Father never knew about either of us. Your turn.”

“I was honest”, he sighs. Stepping back, he frowns. “I told you my name, I answered your questions about the black heretic.”

Reaching for him, she felt her heartache intensify once his tears began to flow freely across his cheeks.

“Don’t”, he recoiled from her touch. She wrapped her arms around her own waist, hurt by the rejection. 

“It’s not easy for me to talk about my past. It’s as if I’m cutting myself open, letting the ugliness spill out. It’s not painless.” Swallowing thickly, Darkling’s eyes widen as he tries to hold back more tears from escaping him. “It would have been simpler to close myself off and find an unremarkable lover who’d never dare defy me, but I keep taking the risk because I want to be with you and I hope that one day you will feel the same way about me.”

“I want”, she stopped, tucking her hair behind her ears. 

His voice was quieter, “What do you want? I’ll give you everything.”

“I don’t know”, she replied honestly. “I’m hurt, Aleks. You hurt me after you promised to protect me.”

Running a hand across his face, wiping his tears away. He averts his gaze. Watching her break because of him deepens the cracks in his poorly stapled, bleeding heart.

“What do you want”, she looked to him with a weight in her chest. How can loving someone hurt so badly even when the love is reciprocated?

“Never mind what I want”, he turned away. Facing her now would have chipped away at his fragile sanity, so he did what a coward would – he hid.

“You asked what I want”, she placed her hands on her hips. “I want to know what you want.”

Shaking his head, he let out a breathless chuckle. “You”, he smiled. “I’ll always want you.”

Closing the distance between them, she closed her arms around his neck. Before she could reach for him, he gripped her by her thighs and lifted her effortlessly. Wrapping her legs around his waist on instinct, she got lost in the rush of blood to her head when he pinned her against the table behind her. He paused, searching her eyes. 

Whatever he was looking for, she hoped he found it.

“I don’t own you”, his eyes flicker to her lips as she sinks her front teeth into the soft flesh of her bottom lip. “I never did. Human or Grisha, you always owned me. I was just too blind to see it.”

Brushing his lips against hers, Aleksander smiled in resignation. His eyes are so different in moments like these, softer than she ever imagined eyes could be.

“Your silver tongue won’t get you far”, she struggled to keep her eyes open with his lips a whisper away. “But you’re free to try.”

She felt his burning gaze, finding it hard to concentrate on much besides breathing. He observed her, capturing her soft, naturally charming and appealing nature. She’s genuine and sweet, the reason why everyone’s head turns when she walks into the room.

How did he not realize it before?

She’s the sun.

She always was. 

He always did squint angrily at her like he does with the fireball in the sky.

Y/N’s hands ran up and down his chest as her lips claimed his - passionately, roughly, determinedly. Without a word, she started to unbutton his kefta, her cold fingertips brushing his warm skin - until she lost patience and ripped the bottom part wide open, pressing her palm against his chest as he broke the kiss.

“Are you sure?” He raised his eyebrows in concern.

“I’ll be mad at you tomorrow. Kiss me”, she ordered, drawing a smile on his lips as she pulled him closer, her lips reattaching to his, her teeth sinking into his lower one.

Pushing him onto the floor, she didn’t waste time. Her bottoms were down so quickly he hardly had time to take a proper breath before she unfastened his pants too.

Heaving, Aleksander could hardly get enough of the view on top of him - her beautiful mouth opening in pleasure every time she sunk down on him, her eyes rolling back into her head, her hands placed over his chest to keep herself steady. She speeds up, prompting his loud, uninhibited moans that drew an honest smile upon her lips. He trusted up and into her as his high hit fully, taking her by surprise. She gasped, his thrust giving her an unexpected release as she clenched around him.

Gasping for breath, she laid on top of him. Y/N was very aware of his arm around her as it pulled her close, his hand on her hip, giving it a light squeeze. He leaned into her, his lips pressing a tender kiss to her temple, making her tingle with anticipation of something more - something she shouldn’t think about after their argument.

How can she trust his change of heart has nothing to do with the fact she’s the Sun Summoner? How can she ever trust him at all?

Clearing her throat, she pulled herself off Aleksander. “Put something on, someone might come in”, she told him as she secured her pants back on. She could hardly look at him, afraid he’d weaken her resolve. She couldn’t forgive him so easily, even if her heart ached for him.

“Let me in”, a voice from outside the tent made Y/N look to the entrance with a frown.

She crossed the distance swiftly, her hands ready in case she had to use her sword. She goes to place her hand on the hilt only to find her sword is not on her.

It’s a good thing that’s not her only weapon.

“Hey!” She shouts at the Grisha as they pulled someone away. “Stop!”

“General?!” Mal laughs as he manages to look back at her, fighting against the Grisha.

“Mal?” She chuckles, glad to see he’s still alive. 

“Leave him alone!” She orders, feeling a presence behind her. She didn’t need to look to know it’s Aleksander. Unfortunately for him, she wasn’t in the mood for anymore talking.

“You’re alive?!” Mal goes in for the hug, but his eyes catch a glimpse of Kirigan’s glare and he slowly backs away. “We need to regroup.”

“How many have we lost?” She frowns.

“You’re Grisha now”, Aleksander speaks up. “You don’t have to fight for the humans.”

Glancing over her shoulder, she scoffs at him. How could he even think she’d give up on her people now? 

“That’s not something I’d like. I enjoy my humanity.”

She was the flame who lit his life on fire and while he was burning, he wanted to thank her for it and ask her to stay a while longer. Darkling nearly chuckled at the thought of calling her fire, but she is and he craves the burn.

The Darkling wanted Y/N to be the one addicted to him, in equal measure as he was addicted to her. He wanted to give her a reason to stay with him, if not for love, then for lust. He’d find a way to her heart in the meantime and knowing they’ll have a forever comforts him, but he needed to have her in every other way until then.

He knew he could make her truly happy if she’d let him and he wasn’t about to let her go.

Not without a fight.

Watching her walk away with the soldier, he clicked his tongue. Mal, whoever he is, poses a threat he needs to handle.

Swiftly.

=============================

A/N - I struggled so much writing this chapter, hope you guys like it. I’m probably gonna pass out now, I’m exhausted. xx

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PART 14

#the darkling x reader #the darkling #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova #general kirigan x reader #kirigan x reader #general kirigan #shadown and bone