#i’m very sorry to my body too

[brookheimer]

very funny that one of the main responses to the lizzo fat-shaming accusations is “but SHE’S fat!!!” as if internalized fatphobia doesn’t exist. like, you do realize that fat people have had that worldview beaten into them by literally every single person around them their entire lives, and famous fat people even more so. celebrity body positivity is so frequently performative — less about genuinely feeling positively about your body and other bodies that look like yours, more about trying to claw your way to having value in the eyes of society through any means possible. it’s out of spite and the desire to fit in. it’s not about conventional beauty not mattering, it’s about trying to expand the lens of societal atttactiveness to include you. lizzo was never trying to dismantle beauty standards as a concept, as a hierarchical way of perceiving society, as a value system. she just wanted to be valued within it — and that’s understandable, because we all want that, we all need to feel desired and worthwhile and valuable. but the best way for an outsider to become an insider is to know the hierarchy inside and out, then to enforce it yourself. if you’re able to gatekeep beauty and value from others, that implies you have access to it yourself. the only way for fat people to be valued within modern societal beauty constraints is to carve out a spot within that hierarchy and guard it with your life. i’m sorry if this is news to people, but so long as our perceptions of beauty remain the same, fat people will never be viewed as equally human — and especially fat women will never be viewed as equally woman. our beauty constraints are premised on a dehumanization of fatness. there is no way to exist as a fat person within that sphere without perpetuating those constraints yourself to prove to skinny people that you deserve to be there. this is why celebrity body positivity is so infrequently helpful long-term or big-picture — it’s not about setting all bodies equal to one another, it’s about raising your particular body equal to those at the top of the hierarchy. so of course lizzo bodyshamed her employees, her backup dancers, her assistants — that’s exactly what enabled her to become a “voice” for “body positivity.” without a position of power in that hierarchy, not only would her calls for body positivity not be heard, they likely wouldn’t exist in the first place; how are you going to feel positive about your body in our ever-competitive pyramid of beauty unless you have people below you to feel better than?

#admittedly i don’t know much about the lizzo drama but i’ve just seen so many tweets flabbergasted that she could possibly fatshame #guess those people just buy into celebrity body positivity wholeheartedly #actually i don’t know much about lizzo in general. i just know that no popstar in our current society has a worldview unaltered by female #beauty standards and that very much includes her. #if your body positivity is ‘i’m sexy too’ and not ‘why is my worth premised on my desirability’ then it’s not actual body positivity at all #like you are still maintaining that the male gaze is the determinant of worth. you are not revolutionary. you are insecure #and SO AM I! like i’m throwing bricks from a glass fucking house. i am the same exact way like i have a lot of issues w body stuff and zero #‘body positivity’ to speak of. but i am aware of my internalized preoccupation with male desire i am aware that i have a skewed perspective #rooted in misogyny i am aware and working on it. so it just drives me crazy to see women clearly as insecure & focused on male validation as #i am framing their appeals to said male validation as body positivity. like you can’t heal if you don’t see the wound #idk if any of this made sense. whatevs sorry #just rambling here #but yeah no it makes perfect sense to me that lizzo would body shame #why? because that is the only way to feel like you belong in a system that inherently excludes you #lizzo #long post

[milomortimer]

Haven’t posted any art in awhile so boom art dump woohoo (body horror warning)

Sorry if some images are disturbing there ain’t no blur function I can find lolll /neg

#art #horror #digimon #spookywash #Bob Velseb #a monster in paris #body horror #a fucking bjd person with flowers growing on him what #MY CAT #Kaiju #kaiju art #gabora #Yes I am a monster lover shut up #Too many tags lollolol #I’m very pissed off rn sorry

[angelnumber27]

Last night I made a list of all the ways drinking has been negatively effecting me, my relationships, those around me, my body and mind, and my life as a whole recently.

There are 45 separate things listed on there so far

#it’s just .. idk how to go from a pint of vodka a night to nothing #if I try to taper or ween off I’ll just keep drinking too much #I can’t sleep without it anymore either even when I take like 300mg seroquel #literally need fuckin at least 8 drinks to even sleep anymore.. #if I do get to sleep it will be like an hour before my sleep is disrupted #I’m fed up #and I don’t want to do this to myself anymore #but it’s so much easier said than done #I know if I continue on this path my body and mind will both continue to be damaged #and I know that if I don’t do something very soon I could end up drinking like this or worse for the rest of my life. #I want and deserve better than that #there is so much more to life than this #and I intend to experience as much of it as possible. without needing a substance to get through the day #ah #I don’t want to be like this anymore #but I really fear it’s too late to change or turn back #sorry lol a lot on my mind

[thespiritualsolarsystem]

-

#am I bugging or? #by observation I’m realizing that mercurials are so bodily oriented #versus martians I think mars ppl legit have body dysmorphia but their lowkey genius’ it just goes unnoticed #both are good with wordplay too #I just feel like I respect them in different way + I get along with mercurials more #maybe the conversations and unstable emotions? who gnos ha #martians are supportive and funny as hell tho #but I think I can’t relate to their soft on the inside tough on the exterior personality #+ I can’t relate to the way they express emotions but I can relate to their perfectionist qualities #I love moon women #I respect Saturn women #to an extent cause they a lil much esp UB #but those two ruled planets are usually my closest friends #us Venusian women are usually competing against each other lmfaooo subtlety #us Ketu women are unmatched and deeply misunderstood/intelligent #Rahu women I have no comment sorry but very intoxicating and trendsetters nonetheless I give yah props #lastly us Jupiter women (mind you I have a small %) are usually underestimated/looked over/ or overestimated #but very generous energetically and easily taken advantage of it’s sad #moon women also get taken advantage of with their loyalty/devotion #mahavidyas #why I forgot about sun women?? 😭

[spookykestrel]

tell me about bugs ! /lhnp

Aah ty for the ask this is so general there’s so many facts and things um (edit I didn’t mean to write a whole essay you don’t have to read the whole thing)

Recently I’ve been enjoying learning about spiders which is ever so slightly ironic considering how afraid I was of them and how I still am a bit scared to come across ones I’m not familiar with. Learning about them makes them so much less scary though. A lot of the most venomous and scariest spiders are actually relatively docile and won’t bite unless threatened or they’re a mother with babies. In the US there hasn’t been a death from a black widow bite in 40 years bc their bites are rare and able to be treated. A lot of venomous spiders can actually administer dry bites too or control the amount of venom they inject which is super cool. Since their venom is used to kill prey, when they bite a human it’s usually just in self defense so a lot of bites from deadly spiders aren’t actually that dangerous. Ofc it’s still imperative to seek treatment just in case you have a reaction or they did inject venom (although you’d be able to tell there’s some nasty symptoms). Most cases are able to be treated, too, with anti-venom and while not a pleasant experience they’re rarely deadly.

I feel like there needs to be a picture here to break up this post so uhhhhh here’s a bunch of bees on a clover ( and a Yellowjacket)

One of my other interests rn is misconceptions/misidentifications. Which ig ties into spider bites. One common myth is that daddy longlegs spiders are super venomous but their fangs are too small to bite humans. This is very wrong for several reason uhh first is that daddy longlegs is a super broad term used to refer to cellar spiders (actual spiders of the araneae order), harvestmen (arachnids in the opilione order so Not Spiders), and crane flies (these are literally flies as the name suggests. They…. They aren’t spiders they have wings they aren’t venomous. Although they do have long legs). Cellar spiders are a little venomous but their venom poses little harm to humans (just a typical insect bite yk) and they rarely bite humans. Harvestmen actually don’t have venom and don’t have fangs just hollow claws used to grip. Which can’t harm people.

anyway harvestman are the absolute silliest guys I love seeing them bounce around

(Photo credit evanaturalist on inat <3)

Another quickl thing (I promise I’ll stop soon you invoked a topic I’m incapable of being normal about and gave me no limitations or anything so I’m on a ramble there’ll be no survivors etcetc) is also about flies. A lot of people assume those itty bitty sweat bees that hover around you at the park or whatever are actually more likely to be hoverflies (instead of a real sweatbee)! They only have one set of wings (unlike a bee) and no they can’t sting. I told this all to my friend at a concert who was being very annoyed by the one following her around and after explaining them and marveling over the super cool patterning of the calligrapher flies (specific type of hoverfly) they actually came around and admitted they’re very cool and it was a lovely moment bc once you know more about something then you can accept it more yay woohoo.

^ the black and yellow is deceiving it only has the one set of wings. If you cared the one pictured is a maize calligrapher specifically . Very common in the US and Canada.

Oh and I got a millipede tatto did you see :]

#thank you for coming to my Tedtalk I apologise for it being ten trillion years long #and I’m sorry idk when to make paragraph breaks so it’s very long chunks of text #I just think talking about bugs and creepy crawlies #and generally expressing my admiration for them #helps break down people’s immediate fears and judgement of them and it’s super fun and cool to watch #hopefully you don’t mind learning about spiders I used to hateeee them #I tried to mix it up a bit too #I hope you didn’t expect just a couple of fun facts I don’t really have those #just lectures I could teach a class #one fact is that spring flies have these tails or whatever #that rest under their body and they use them to spring into the air #which is cool #sorry sorry for the ramble #you said ‘no pressure ☺️’ and I said just went off #kestrel calls #chitter chatter #ty for the ask thoigh <3 #mutuals <3 #desc in alt #bugs #spiders #this is like a unskippable cutscene except you can skip it

[plinkcat-gif]

when i voice my discomfort brought on by something related to my neurodivergency (overstimulation, headache brought on by specific thing) or my allergies i need everyone to understand that it’s either relatable or funny

#i’m so sick of one of my friends being like ‘oooh i’m so sorry man :(‘ like idk me too. but i live with it every day idc anymore #like i am very self aware. i know what’s happening to me and why and i don’t need pity for it i need to make light of it #it’s just like ok. how do i even respond to that #i think i would appreciate more like ’ouch dude. smth similar happens to me when’ or like #‘damn that sucks. that’s so fucking funny that your body does that tho lol’ #this person is also like a huge people pleaser tho lol. a lot of their behaviors irk me #like we’re still besties it won’t change that and i have voiced my frustrations with them but they’re not bad enough to impact our rship at #all lol #OK. that’s all

[llumimoon]

Reminder that sometimes you have off days and that’s okay 👍

#cal rambles #trying to change my mindset lol #yeah I’m a lil upset I ended up wasting an entire day #but u know what. i spent most of the day sleeping which my body probably needed #and I spent the rest of the day hanging out with my sibling who I don’t get to see very often bc they live in a different city #so it’s cool it’s okay that I didn’t do much #what I did do was good enough :] #there is always tomorrow and the day after that #u got this cal. YOU GOT THIS !!! #and to anyone else reading this: YOU GOT THIS AS WELL !!!! #btw sorry if I haven’t responded to stuff or talked that much #im. not doing too hot in the energy or motivation department LOL #but I love you I love you I love you #<- hoping the ppl I mean that for will read this

[seventh-district]

takes a 5 minute break in the middle of writing a scene to sob over Swan Upon Leda by Hozier

#that’s it that’s the post #Seven.txt #writing stuff #hozier #music stuff #cw assault #assault mention #i am. working on something. and realized that the song could fit well into a scene for extra ✨symbolism✨ #so of course i had to go listen to it and add it to the appropriate playlists #thing is i absolutely cannot listen to that song without breaking down in tears so. had a cathartic little cry #mid-writing session. as one does. #i’m sorry but if you expect me to be calm and normal when Hozier is out there being THE Man Ever. it’s not gonna happen #like not to be extreme but i don’t know if there’s another man on earth that i’d feel safer and more respected around #fighting for my life not to put him on a pedestal bc i Know he’s just some guy. he’s just a human like everyone else #but how can i be normal about it when he says women’s bodies have never belonged to angels #so they sure as shit have never belonged to men. #obviously he uses prettier words but. my point stands #comparing men assaulting women to an occupier upon ancient land??? *cries so hard i throw up* #Swan Upon Leda earned the honor of going on the very short list of songs that are too painful for me to listen to as Soon as i heard it #like yeah no i’ll never be able to casually listen to it but that is a Compliment. that means that it means Everything to me #okay anyways. *wipes tears* that’s all i just had to get that out of my system #crawling back into my writing cave now. i shall rejoin the world once this wip is Finished #*whispers* in related news. [N]MbD Sun may be the most insanely overprotective guy on earth but byGOD he never wants to hurt you #anyways eheheeeee back to writing my angst goodbye

[remma-demma]

Truly fucking insane to me how even some trans people have drunk the gender essentialist koolaid and think that trans men are like, inherently arms of the patriarchy and oppressors. Just like believing all cis men are each, individually responsible for patriarchy. Isn’t the point of feminism that the system and people’s unconscious upholding of the system are the thing to be criticizing?? Gender essentialism is still gender essentialism even if you do it to trans people.

I don’t know why people don’t understand that treating any group as a monolith whose experiences are all the same is like. Bad and harmful. Trans men are men but they are not cis men. Many of us have experienced girl / womanhood enforced on us by society and deeply understand the struggle. I don’t see why it’s harmful to acknowledge the fact that trans men experience misogyny!!!! Lots of trans men haven’t or won’t transition! I promise you even if we are men, see ourselves as men, the vast majority of society will not.

I really hate infighting and “calling out” whole sections of the community, and I guarantee I’m not talking about 90% of trans women who are normal but that other 10% act like trans men have betrayed women by “choosing to be men”. Isn’t that like, 1) literally gc / terf logic and 2) implying that trans people just up and choose their gender one day (not saying that some don’t but like. Being trans is a deeply personal thing that’s often not a choice.)

This is thinking that makes trans men guilty to be trans men. We’re used to hearing it from radfems but to hear it from people who are supposed to be our allies??? From people who we have something so deeply in common with? It fucking sucks!!!

#sorry I just saw three whole Twitter posts that literally were like ALL TRANS WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL AND FUNNY AND AWESOME #and all trans men are stupid and stinky and bad #trans men continue to be punching bags every three months for some fucking reason #I’m not disagreeing that trans women are put under a lot more pressure societally and that fucking sucks #but literally whenever trans men speak up we ARE dismissed. #our struggles may not be the same but they still fucking exist #this is mostly a vent but feel free to (civilly and constructively) talk to me about where my blind spots might be #I’m taking American cultural anthropology and we just learned the word intersectionality and I don’t think people truly understand that #the intersection between “being men’ and “being raised as female’ is very real #I think what that male model said was stupid in terms of like #thinking that trans women are to blame for being so visible #but what he said about the general way people are raised in gendered ways is not bullshit. #culture affects us from literally all angles and it’s wild to think that a trans man could just flip a switch one day and forget #being constantly put down and told to be kind and put others feelings above your own and be scared of being assaulted and blah blah blah #being raised as a girl shit. unless you transitioned as a child and had super supportive parents that shit is REAL #my post #trans #jfc even if you were raised in the right gender medical misogyny affects us too! our bodies are policed just like women’s are #also lol I’m not saying I just learned the term or idea intersectionality it’s just interesting to learn about it academically

[deus-ex-mona]

#haseo b i g n a t u r a l s was censored for *a h e m* obvious reasons #fun fact: i made that lousy haseo edit on the train. i’m sorry to my fellow commuters lmaooo #can you tell that minimal effort went into this lmaooo #headswap edits are fun though~~~ and very cursed too~~~~ #wait now i wanna headswap longleg onto one of the hoodie bodies b r b—

[321sluggie]

mentions of weight loss in tags

#sorry I don’t know how to do a read more on mobile but this might be a lil distressing to read idk #I haven’t bought a scale nor have I looked at one in months. but a friend had one and I used it #and I’ve lost more a those lbs #I just. look fucjing frail now #I’d suspected maybe I’d lost a bit. but not nearly as much as I have #every time I eat now I get horrible cramps. I thought I was managing it but I guess I’ve been avoiding more than I thought #I keep telling my doctors and they keep saying that unless I feel bad I’m fine #and like. I do feel bad. lol #and so they just tell me to wait until my follow up in October #I’m glad it’s not too far now but I just feel like none of these people care #I dont know why but no medical professional I’ve spoken with has been concerned about my weight loss but like. #I’m 6’ and 120lbs. this isn’t right #I think it’s just fatphobia. like these people will tell a healthy fat person to lose weight no matter what #and losing weight is always ‘good’ #the surgeon who did my top surgery just sent me a survey about body image and I don’t know if I should fill it out #I’m so glad I did top surgery. but the rest of me is just. skeleton featuring débilitating pain #I DONT FEEL VERY SEXY DOCTOR IM SORRY

[archersartcorner]

Volo: *talkin about ruins and legends and HIS FAVORITE CUSTOMER!!!! and history and the celestica and*

Val, internally: “damb volo ur bobbies”

#my art #pokemon legends arceus #volo #pokemon volo #ginkgo guild volo #hmmm maybe I should….. #pokeverse valerio #yea I’ll use that as a tag so it doesn’t get too muddled with the fo nv stuff!!! #man I still have to replace the old tags for Valerio too. GOD. oc hyperfixation tied to current media hyperfixation #anyway. Val considers volo to be a close friend!! volo in part has been rather caring and kind towards val #(he’s tried to convince himself it’s because he needs the plates but. nah. arceus clocked him. volo cares and loves val very much) #because of Val’s CFS and chronic pain sometimes it’s hard to get out of bed in the morning. or sometimes he’ll just have flare-ups- #-IN THE FIELD and his body just can’t hold himself up anymore. if volo’s around (weirdly often ;) ) he’ll carry Val to the nearest base cam #-to rest. if Val is still in jubilife and literally just can’t get out of bed volo makes him food and gives him company #Val comes to implicitly and wholly trust volo. post-game is when Val starts to realize there’s Something Else going on #but I wanna explore more of that in my art too so!! #anyway sorry for long tags yall I’m incapable of just making short ones HEVDHSSH #not described

[ectoplasmer]

Today in sociology we did an assignment where we had to read through statistics about marriage, reasons why people get married, divorce rates, views on how certain couples influence children, etc. and then we had questions at the end that had more to do with how *we* felt about marriage and what we thought about the other things brought up in the article and when I tell you it lowkey physically hurt to write out how I didn’t really care for marriage. good god

#it’s like i DO care for it but the people who i want to marry aren’t real so like ??? #i think of me having a traditional wedding with anyone else and physically retch i’m sorry #there was a straight week where i couldn’t stop thinking about getting married to my f/os or how we would set that up considering #body sharing or whatever #y’all are lucky my brain was so rotted that i never posted anything about it #btw. expensive. very expensive #marriage in general is just… woof. even elopement costs money?? did not know that #anyway uhhhhh yeah that was. an assignment. definitely #had to write it multiple times and each time it was a stab at my heart u_u #but like i want to reinstate the fact that i did not care whatsoever for marriage before my current f/os #i looked at it and just saw it as more of a hassle than anything #but now it’s just. somehow different #i’m really not good at articulating my thoughts or how exactly i feel over it but #i dunno. i care more about the idea now than i did with past f/os #current f/os are different etc etc but i love them and maybe sometimes i do think about getting married to them #putting that on hold right now of course because i have a lot of things to worry about before then but #it’s just… getting to build a home with them i guess?? a safe place for all of us?? #obviously their lives have been much harder than mine and i want to support and be there for them #and i want them there for me too. i guess that is what changed my views towards marriage #but only specifically for them apparently lol #i dunno. i’m just happy i feel this way over them :) #quartzshipping

[amberdagger]

oh my god i was having a good time with my friends!! particularly a friend i hardly every see! and my fkn flatmate shows up and makes everything weird!

#i did my utmost to be absolutely civil #and she goes and gets a ride home and does not ask if i want a ride too #so my bestie (who is also her ex) lets her know that was kind of a dick move #and she goes and says i was being weird and mean! #like ok girl you’re projecting your insecurities and making them my problem #but long story short i was having a fucking awesome night and she came and make everything fucking weird and shitty #girl keep your excuses to yourself idgaf that you thought i wanted to stay longer #you could’ve asked if i wanted a free ride instead of getting an uber #and don’t blame me for the fact that you fucked up all your friendships #anyway i’m very drunk and venting #sorry #i wish i could cry but my body isn’t letting me

[your-local-granny]

.

#Got told today my issue is that I’m too much of a human being #Christ #I will see an ENT and everything will be fine I literally just need medicine or god forbid a surgery #but my fucking god my plan for today was Not crying all day about health insureance #and now!!! Back at it on Virtual Choir like it’s 2020 #I just need homemade curry again. I think it would fix me #like. The issue is yeah. My issue is being a human being! I love other people and I love singing!! And that makes me a bad instrument #I fucking hate it all because I finally start separating my worth from what I do #and I am immediately reminded that I literally am what I do #the health of my body directly affects my worth #I’m just. So tired and cold. And I miss my mum :(( #okay sorry this got very real I am sad about music and I don’t want ppl I will see at school tmrw to freak hhh #Vent #I want a simple home cooked meal 🎶🎶