#i'd rather not break my own devices

[bellshazes]

dreaming up a syllabus for an imaginary course on metanarratives about gameplay, which i think would go something like:

unit 1: who do you think you are i am - auto-documentary & games

Vlogs and the Hyperreal, Folding Ideas

The Slow Death of Let's Play Videos, Meraki (to ~10:00)

World Record Progression: Mike Tyson, Summoning Salt

ROBLOX_OOF.mp3, hbomberguy

Life as a Bokoblin: A Zelda Nature Documentary, Monster Maze

optional: Braindump on the History of Let's Plays, slowbeef

unit 2: what like it's hard? - intro to challenge narratives

Chapter 26: Games as Narrative Play: Two Structures for Narrative Play, Rules of Play

A different kind of challenge run: Minimalist 100% (BOTW), Wolf Link

Surviving 100 Days on Just Dirt, Mogswamp

Can You Beat DARK SOULS III with Only Firebombs, the Backlogs

Is it Possible to Beat Super Mario 3D World while permanently crouching?, Ceave Gaming

The Pacifist Challenge - Beating Hollow Knight Without Collecting Soul [CHALLENGE] - Sample

optional: How to 100% Snowpeak Ruins in under 15 minutes, bewildebeest

unit 3: nelly you don't understand, i AM the narrative - form and function

The Future of Writing about Games, Jacob Geller

Can You Beat GRIME Without Weapons?, the Backlogs

Mushroom Kingdom Championships, Ceave Gaming

My Life as a Barber in Hitman 2, MinMax (Leo Vader)

MyHouse.WAD - Inside Doom's Most Terrifying Mod, PowerPak

optional: Mega Microvideos, Matthewmatosis

the theme and structure is mostly intended to introduce at least one critical or historically contextual work followed by examples of the type of narrative in question.

in unit 1, this is the idea of "How do people talk about their own experiences in the context of YouTube and playing video games?" across three rather different kinds of documentaries. unit 2 is intended to take that lens of who is telling what tale and dial in on challenge running, where i first noticed the way some videos turn the story of overcoming a challenge into its own narrative that is distinct from but related to the narrative events of the game itself. unit 3 circles back to the bigger picture with a variety of examples that, to me, are maximally metanarrative, the emergent story of the player-narrator now functionally replacing the game's embedded narrative.

bonus unit: broken narratives

Glitch & the Grotesque at the MLA, Sylvia Korman

Watching time loop movies to escape my time loop, Leo Vader

The Stanley Parable, Dark Souls, and Intended Play, Folding Ideas

Breaking Madden, Jon Bois

The TRUTH about the Pizzaplex in FNAF: Security Breach, AstralSpiff

this one is highly underdeveloped, but i'd love to work out something more robust building on randomizer challenges that produce intentionally bizarre, semi-ironic "lore," and bois-esque endeavors to break games so hard the story itself crumbles. but that's really out of scope so i'm just including the links to things i couldn't bear to get rid of. more rambling abt the challenge runs I chose under the cut.

Challenge runs represent one of the most obvious places to start, due to being extremely plentiful and having a hook that makes a "here's how I did X thing in Y video game" format almost unavoidable. Minimalist 100% is an underrated and sweet straightforward example that I mostly include as a baseline for reporting-out style narrative; here are the facts, here's what happened, this is the thing that it is. Mogswamp's 100 Days on Just Dirt is similar in style, but the physical measuring of days is a delightful and, more importantly, external narrative device.

Now oriented, we get a taste of Ceave Gaming's narrative approach to Mario challenges with the no-crouching run, and while we still aren't at the degree of player-characters being constructed for the narrative's sake, the spirited belief in crouching sets the stage for other rhetoric in more extreme cases we'll see later.

The Backlogs' entire body of work qualifies here, but GRIME is the strongest inspiration for putting this list together. I include the DS3 firebombs run because what was initially a factual description of how his wife's use of firebombs inspired him to play differently in the original DS1 firebombs run has developed into full-blown multi-game narrative arc with the Firebomb Goddess (his wife, who also voices the character) compelling his in-game character to achieve his destined quest. Grime takes that even further,

In-Game Documentaries

I include Life as a Bokoblin mostly as a contrast to My Life as a Barber - there is a level of fictionalization and roleplay involved in the Zelda in-game documentary that highlights exactly what I want to single out when I am talking about metanarrative, the story about a story.

#peter posts #mc meta #<- close enough #also i will add some context for the rest of the docus too since the summoning salt is on here for a VERY SPECIFIC REASON

[ao3cassandraic]

Kayfabe: A Good Omens meta

"Kayfabe," in wrestling, is the performance (including outside the wrestling ring) of whatever storyline is being woven around the wrestlers. Breaking kayfabe is Serious Business for a wrestler; the illusion is part of the event. If you ever wondered how John Cena could anchor an entire HBO miniseries brilliantly, kayfabe is a big part of the answer.

Because of their histories and how their respective Head Offices treat them, Crowley and Aziraphale approach their version of kayfabe -- their whole "I am an angel! You are a demon! We're hereditary enemies!" schtick, also their "we are good bad proper little footsoldiers, honest, Boss" schtick to their respective Head Offices -- very, very differently.

I promise there's a point to this. I PROMISE. But let me walk through it first.

Both of them know that one awkward question to Upstairs at the wrong moment and its Fallsville. Crowley, however, knows a couple of things that Aziraphale doesn't have to:

Punishment isn't just once; in some ways, the Fall is never over. Beelzebub or Hastur can throw you in the Dung Pits whenever, after all, or feed you to a Hellhound, or zap you like an Eric. Crowley's lot do not send rude notes. (s2: we do not know what happened to Crowley after Hell dragged him back at the end of the Resurrectionists 'sode, but I think it safe to say it was not great for Crowley. Litotes: your key to quality meta.)

Downstairs can and does check in -- or drag Crowley Downstairs for a chat and possibly a bit of idle torture -- whenever they feel like it. Downstairs seems pretty disorganized, especially its leadership, so I'd expect ad-hoc surprise inspections from them. Downstairs can invade Crowley's flat's TV, his Bentley's radio, and his very mind to perform those inspections. Crowley is never, ever safe from this. He can't relax. Ever.

Heaven, on the other hand, has 37 levels of scriveners and zero interest in Earth. Talk of "reprimands" and "miracle budgets" and Michael being a stickler and whatnot suggests a formal review process happening on a schedule, governed largely by the dreaded (but quite possibly fake-able or spinnable) "paperwork" rather than direct observation by Aziraphale's peers or superiors. Otherwise, Aziraphale is usually left to his own devices. Remember how startled he is when Gabriel shows up at the sushi restaurant in s1? This is unusual!

(We also know from Muriel that Heaven's records office doesn't seem to get consulted a whole lot. It's possible this just means that first-through-thirty-sixth-level scriveners handle everything, but in my experience of large bureaucracies, it's the folks at the bottom of the hierarchy who invariably get run off their feet first. Don't see why Heaven would be any different.)

Moreover, Heaven's punishments seem pretty light, on the whole? Our angel is so anxious and so sensitive to slights that I'm sure the reprimands aren't fun, and nobody likes a reduced miracle budget... but Heavenly "needs improvement" reviews don't seem to be a patch on the Dung Pits. The real threat is Falling, which is more than horrible enough to serve as deterrent; Heaven doesn't need to add torments.

Moreover moreover, Aziraphale is mostly aligned with his Head Office in a way that Crowley really, really isn't. I'm sure Aziraphale does a lot of his Heaven assignments with a song in his heart and a skip in his step -- it's mostly not smiting or the like. Crowley... probably spends a lot of his work time figuring out how to obey the letter of Hellish law while defying its spirit. Crowley's in far more danger of angering his bosses.

So Aziraphale doesn't have to keep up kayfabe a lot of the time, not even while interacting with Crowley. He can and does save it for the rare occasions Heaven takes a personal interest. Crowley, however, must keep up kayfabe always, whether Aziraphale's there or not. The courage it must have taken that snake to slither up the wall of Eden!

The way Crowley navigates his permanent need for kayfabe is twofold. First, his all but instinctive refusal to accept any positive word or compliment about himself or his actions from anyone ever -- "I'M NOT NICE!" If Hell were ever to hear someone characterizing Crowley that way... That's also why Crowley is a bit less exercised when Jimbriel calls him nice: "nobody'll ever believe you."

Second, a species of Orwellian doublethink: maintaining a running commentary in his head of how he's going to justify any unHellish actions to Hell, since he can never know exactly when he'll have to or what exactly they'll have a bug up their butt (sorry, Beez) about. Even high as a kite on laudanum in the Edinburgh cemetery, Crowley can explain his current justification (in a curiously sober voice -- is Crowley ever really high in that scene? or is it all kayfabe? I lean toward kayfabe) to Aziraphale, "Not kind! Off my head on laudanum, not responsible for my actions."

We can see the kayfabe mismatch play out a few times, and it does appear that Aziraphale gets more concerned for Crowley's safety and more aware of Crowley's need for kayfabe post-Arrangement. That doesn't mean he always remembers, of course -- he wouldn't, he just doesn't have that same desperate need. And, of course, the ineffable walnuts do not communicate, as s2 went to some lengths to point out. I do think kayfabe is part of that -- it's hard for Crowley to be sincere when he's constantly doublethinking, and Aziraphale's off-and-on involvement with kayfabe (and all his other tendencies toward lying) disincline him to achieve or even learn about honest communication.

One s1 scene I went back and rewatched while thinking about this was the Globe scene, which contains Aziraphale's Saint-Peter-esque three-time denial of Crowley. I find it easy now to read that as Aziraphale going "oh crap do I need to drop back into kayfabe now? I didn't break kayfabe, did I?" and Crowley grinning, at least partly as reassurance. (Partly, of course, because Aziraphale is cute and funny even when kayfabing -- and partly because Aziraphale's sudden drop into kayfabe is Aziraphale trying to protect Crowley, of course Crowley's pleased by that.)

The wall pin, now that I think about it, also gains a little nuance from this. Crowley's fear-laced ire is genuine, but how many times must Aziraphale have heard Crowley snarl at him not to break kayfabe in this way? No surprise he's a little unimpressed. (With Crowley's demand. He's clearly very impressed by Crowley.)

In the s2 Job minisode, Aziraphale hilariously drops kayfabe (and that epic whole-body halo, loved that, great job FX folks) almost immediately. Crowley allows it, because Crowley is on firm ground -- Hell will be just fine with Crowley wrapping the angel in a Chuck-Jones-cartoon amount of scroll parchment and flipping him off.

When angel and demon collude on the con later, of course, they observe kayfabe, improv-style -- Crowley helps Aziraphale deal with the Job's-children situation without giving either of them away to the watching angel posse. Interestingly, it's Aziraphale who de-gecko-izes the kids. That gives Crowley an out, sort of: "look, the mansion collapse missed them because they were in the cellar, I turned them into geckos, totally Hellish thing to do, they'd never survive in the wild, but then this bloody interfering angel went and changed them back!"

And how does Crowley console a distraught angel who thinks he's about to be dragged to Hell? Crowley explains kayfabe in the fewest and clearest words possible. "Well, yeah, you did, but... I'm not going to tell anybody. Are you?"

So yeah. That's kayfabe for the Ineffable Walnuts.

But I promised there was a point to this, didn't I? Yes, I have a point.

My point is...

my POINT is...

my point IS...

(not dolphins, not this time)

My point is, how much of s2's Final Fifteen Minutes is kayfabe?

That's my point.

#good omens season 2 spoilers #gos2spoilers #gos2 spoilers #ineffable husbands #ineffable walnuts #kayfabe #good omens meta #the point is not dolphins

[highladyluck]

For the fan theories ask, can you go down the list of Nakomi theories on the wiki? (Or, if that’s too much, just Nakomi is the Creator (or an agent of the Creator))

Ok, before we get into detail on this, if any of you tell me who Brandon Sanderson says Nakomi is, I will be genuinely annoyed. I don't want to know and I hope to go to my grave blissfully unaware of the actual truth. I engage in this for the pure love of unhinged speculation and bitchy judgement. I'm including the 7 theories that @anyboli tells me are on the wiki, and then 3 bonus ones.

1) Aes Sedai From Age of Legends - this is just silly, and frankly after [specific chapter in AMOL when a long-debated fandom question was finally answered] the fandom as a whole should have stopped making theories like this. THERE IS NO PURPLE AJAH!!! I debated shoving it further into 'worst idea' territory but unfortunately it is an undeniably fun premise, and we do canonically have Aes Sedai from the Age of Legends hanging about (they're just evil) which is why everyone keeps trying to make it happen. The placement just into worst idea territory is a compromise.

2) Agent of the Creator/Pattern - this is deeply unlikely- the Pattern doesn't care and the Creator's only agent is Rand- but I like it a little better than the previous option. I also think this is the Bela option, which also nudges it slightly more into 'extremely compelling'.

3) Bubble of Good - I don't think this is the author intent, but on the other hand, it's a random positive encounter that moves the action along, and a Bubble of Evil is a random negative encounter that moves the action along. Functionally, Nakomi ACTS like a Bubble of Good, so I think this sits squarely on the border between likely author intent and definitely not author intent. I enjoy the lampshading of Nakomi as Plot Device so this is somewhat compelling to me.

4) A Hero of the Horn, or Amaresu - Ok, this actually strikes me as somewhat likely and I think if it were an RJ thing this is almost the likeliest option. As a Sanderson thing it seems a little less likely but still pretty plausible. I enjoy the specificity of it and the Heroes do seem to break their own rules about meddling a lot. Maybe Amaresu is vibing with Aviendha because Avi's going to give birth to her reincarnation or something; that's not particularly plausible but I like the emotional implications.

5) A Jenn Aiel - This seems like the most likely of the wiki options. I think the Jenn Aiel still exist, canonically, and probably they'd be in the area and have opinions. It's not the most interesting theory to me because I don't get the mystery aspect at all in this case. I'd rather just know up front that Nakomi was Jenn, then I could get a reaction from Aviendha, which would have been super interesting. It's still pretty neat but the execution could have been improved if this is really the answer. (I actually think this would be AWESOME as part of #10, but without either the use of a specific known character or a reason for the obfuscation, this is not peak cool to me.)

6) Verin - No. I don't even get why people are saying this and I don't care to be informed, either. Verin's great but we don't have to make everything about her.

7) A Wise One - Sure, maybe? But this premise is so deeply uninteresting without specifics. This is the Wheel of Time. I need any random character that shows up once and has a speaking part to have a backstory three pages deep. It doesn't all have to be on the page, but you better convince me that it exists.

8) any Cosmere character - This is my worst fear because it seems so horribly plausible. I know it has been officially denied, but like Taimaindred, it makes too much sense and you can't convince me this wasn't the original intent.

9) Lanfear - This is my personal theory and it sparks joy. Nakomi is a moon-related name like Lanfear's "Selene" moniker, Lanfear constantly goes around in disguise helping protagonists even though it makes no fucking sense, AND Lanfear is apparently still at large even after she appeared to have died? At this point, Lanfear could be doing anything for any reason, we just can't know. The only way we can truly know Lanfear is her vibes--that's why her punishment from the Dark One was to be put into a body that was perfectly good but not her aesthetic--and this whole business has Lanfear Vibes so strong they can be seen from the Age of Legends moonbase.

10) Tigraine - This is @asha-mage's theory and it's the best one I've ever heard. The only reason it's not higher on author intent is because I'm going by Sanderson intent and I don't think this was on his radar, but it absolutely seems like something RJ would have done, so I split the difference. It fits the hints I vaguely remember- someone we haven't met directly in the books but not a totally unknown character either- and it's just so cool, the idea of Tigraine surviving after all, maybe throwing in with the Jenn, and giving advice to her son's lover/a future leader of her adopted people. I want to write a series of 3 vignettes about Tigraine and the concept of legacy: Tigraine at the Tower, dealing with being the legacy kid with no magical skills. Tigraine abandoning Galad and contributing to his complex about his family legacy. Tigraine (as Nakomi) after talking to Aviendha about the legacy of the Aiel as complicated by her son. It would be so satisfying!!! This should be the answer!!!

Again, DO NOT SPOIL THIS FOR ME. I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THE CANONICAL ANSWER.

#wheel of time #wot book spoilers #fan theory ask game #anyboli #nakomi

[yanderelmk]

Question for redson, nezha, azure, wukong and peng and macaque if youd like

1. If we wanted to have children, how would you react?

2. How would you help your darling with period stuff?

3 . If I asked you to make me immortal so we could love each other forever would you?

🏮💜❤️‍🩹

🔥RED SON🔥: Red Son's face went red and his jaw dropped open. "Ch-children?? You want children?! Do you know how difficult those are to raise? But..." He fidgets, pressing the tips of his index fingers together. "Just how many would you wish to have?" "As for the menstrual predicament, I do not fear the monthly blood ritual. It is just simple biology, only smooth-brained peasants fear the shedding of the uterus." "I have already begun thinking of ways to gift it to you. I presume our marriage would not be enough on its own, though it would grant you demonic nobility status...either I will have to break into Heaven or I will have to find one of the ancient Sages to force the secret from them." 🪷NEZHA🪷:

"I would love children, but I would not be able to care for them as much as I would be able to. I am the protective deity of all children, I would rather not run the risk of favoritism towards my own. But...I do admit the idea appeals to me of having children with the one I love."

"Ah, yes, the process in which a mortal reaches developmental maturity. Fear not, I am experienced in dealing with this sort of thing. In advance I prepared many snacks, especially chocolates, and heating devices. All you need to do is rest up." "Immortality is only gained by Heaven's permission. To do otherwise...well...those who become immortal without Heaven's consent face miserable lives as punishment. Chang'e is the kindest example of what happens when greed for immortality overtakes reason. I will do my best to beg for your appointment as an immortal by my side, but it might take some time. I only ask for your patience." ☀️WUKONG☀️:

"Kids? Like...more than one? Look, I'm gonna be honest with you, I take care of my Flower-Fruit Mountain children okay, but I don't know how good I'd do with a one-on-one infant. I'm willing to try, but I think we should prooobably wait until I've taken some parenting classes first." "Oh! Periods! That's the monthly feminine thing, right? Uhh..." Wukong digs around a bit and tosses a blanket on you. "There you go!" Wukong sighs. "Look, I know I might have become immortal a good few times over, but it's really not that easy. Heaven's not gonna let you become an immortal that easily. I'll do what I can, all you have to do is eat the food of Heaven to become immortal, but it's going to be a really rough process. I'll only do it if you're absolutely certain." 🦅PENG🦅:

"I would be overjoyed to raise fledglings with you! How many are you thinking? I believe six is an appropriate number." "Ah, the matters of the femmes. I remember when I had to deal with that...tell you what, you sit here, I will go and procure the necessary supplies. Then I'll snuggle up with you until you fall asleep." "Immortality? That is easily done! Once we achieve our ambition to overtake Heaven, I will make you my Immortal Consort. No weapon, Celestial, Infernal, or Mortal, will be able to strike you down."

🌑MACAQUE🌑:

"Why would you want kids? Don't those make a lot of noise and stuff? I'll compromise: How about we get a puppy or something, start off small?"

"Periods? Um...I don't really know how those...work. What do you need for that, a bandage? I got plenty of those." He sighs. "Look Y/N, I'll be honest with you, immortality's not all it's cracked up to be. Forever is a long time. If you're adamant and absolutely 100% certain, I'll try to do what I can, but you're gonna have to accept that being immortal means living for a really long time. You'll lose your friends and family, everything will change while you never do. It can be a painful existence."

#lmk #lmk yandere #yandere lmk #lmk ask the yanderes #lmk yandere red son #lmk yandere wukong #lmk yandere monkey king #lmk yandere nezha #lmk yandere peng #lmk yandere golden winged peng #lmk peng #lmk red son #lmk nezha #lmk wukong #lmk monkey king #lmk macaque #lmk yandere macaque #lmk golden winged eagle #lmk golden winged peng #lmk yandere peng x reader #lmk yandere wukong x reader #lmk yandere monkey king x reader #lmk yandere nezha x reader #lmk yandere macaque x reader

[justatalkingface]

what's your opinion on the big 3? When I was hyperfoxed on this series they were the thing I care Abt the most (I enjoyed season 4, obv I'd change some stuff now but I still remember it being atleast ok)

I hate how dirty they did my girl nejire, as far as I'm aware they didn't even do anything with her after the whole pagent thing she just got a small backstory about how she was sad (don't know all of it I haven't been keeping up that well w the manga)

mirios not having a quirky and having to save eri (a girl who I can't imagine would be that skilled at the age she is and has been training on lizards to give his quirk back all together, I'd imagine it taking a few more months but bnhas time is shit so) and coming back in the war arc to punch one person and then basically do noting iicr

The only decently written one was amajiki, I wish they had more going on I think they have a fun dynamic (w them helping taking care of eri and me rlly liking idk what it's called but I love the fluff it brings) :(

Lots of mixed feelings, in all honesty. Lots of mixed feelings.

I'll admit, a big part of my mixed feelings about them is they showed up as the latest, 'Stomp on Izuku's everything' at the point in the story where it was becoming obvious that there was always something stomping on Izuku, and that gave me a bad first impression on them I've never been able to shake... which isn't helped by how they're connected to the clusterfuck of Nighteye, of all people, which is kind of my whole thing with Mirio (warning; I am biased):

As a person, he's obviously nice, but as a character, basiclly his entire reason for existing was, 'give Izuku an existential crisis' and I don't think I've ever forgiven him for that, really. His entire character is just bigger, stronger, older, happier, more capable, more confident, more successful, more loved Izuku, who had a Quirk his whole life and only had to dig deep to find out how strong it, and he, was all along.

Unironically. It's....

It's a really bad look, to be blunt; he feels kind of like a bad fanfiction character written by a bad writer who wanted to put their super special OC in the story, except he's canon.

Since we've never seen him even think something unheroic, there's really nothing that distinguishes him from that impression factual statement, which, again, makes it hard for me to give a shit about him, or even remember him... which is a problem Hori seems to share, lol. It doesn't help that I loathe Sir Nighteye and that most of his development time is spent admiring him, to boot, and that his parts of the story are either empty or focused on a living plot device I can't quite like no matter how hard I try because of how blatant the emotional manipulation is about the biggest story breaking, SOD shattering plot device until Stars and Stripes showed up.

If he ever got any kind of development to flesh him out a human being rather than being either Izuku and/or a heroic archetype, it'd help, but beyond all of that his biggest personality trait is liking jokes, and that barely even comes up. Or, rather, considering both the Final Arc and his response to Bakugou's name, along with Nighteye's own tendencies, 'jokes', maybe.

He doesn't deserve it, I admit it, it's not his fault, but I just can't get past that. He also doesn't deserve to just be forgotten until his big moment of a butt joke, but... MHA, everyone. In all honesty, I'd just like him better if his entire story arc didn't exist in and as some of the worst parts of the Overhaul arc, but he's tainted by that fact.

I freely admit that I am unfairly biased against him, so take all of that with a mountain of salt.

As a side note though, god, the story doesn't seem to realize how badly Nighteye is using the poor kid; Mirio thinks Nighteye is training him because he's worthy, while Nighteye mainly seems to be doing it because he's the closest thing to an All Might clone he can get, bar him actually cloning All Might, even if he grew to like him for who he is. I'm not sure Nighteye ever thought of Mirio with just his Quirk as anything more than a temporary situation; even at the start of canon, when on his own merits he's rising to fame with how successful he is, Nighteye's overall focus is still about getting AFO into the kid.

I almost wish I could see Nighteye explaining how all of his training came down to getting All Might's Quirk, just to see MIrio react and tear Nighteye down a peg about it, except Hori's history of handling these kinds of things means he'd never be allowed to be properly offended on his own behalf, the poor bastard.

Moving on, Tamaki. Out of all of them, he's had the biggest of an on-screen story arc, and in a intellectual way his Quirk is easily the most interesting. Unfortunately, while he has a personality, it feels so bland at times that he's far easier to remember for his Quirk than who he is.

I liked his story, really, but at the time it was overshadowed by Mirio and his everything, and by the time he showed back up it was clear how irrelevant it and he was, so it was more about how (admittedly, very) cool he get his Quirk to be than it was about him, and with some brutal honesty, it's probably because his Quirk is so interesting that he even got that much focus beyond that initial arc by Hori.

And... Nejirie.

In a combat sense she's easily the best of them, really; Mirio is almost purely defensive, which limits him (especially if he's not surprising someone with it) while Tamaki's Quirk, while flexible, is so conditional in ways that can easily hold him back (we only ever see him fight with full preparation; if he's not gearing for a fight he'd be easy to ambush), and like a lot of things in the Final Arc, his big laser canon thing is.... questionable.

Nejirie, though, is just simply powerful. In a setting where everyone has one power and one main application of that power, where you either fly or blast things, but not both, she's the closest I've seen to a 'traditional' super hero, like you'd see in Marvel or DC.

At the same time, though, out of the three of them she least has a story, for obvious reasons, and it's a disgrace, really. If Hori had just spent some time on her, on the her backstory that apparently exists (yeah, I'm not sure where that is either), she could have been so interesting... but really, all she is is the Girl Teammate. Her personality traits are The Girl Teammate's personality traits. She's just The Girl Teammate stamped over all of the interesting stuff, and it's such a waste, it really is.

And finally, as a unit? The Big Three is a shiny toy that Hori forgot in the corner somewhere as soon as he got bored with it. He spent a few minutes oohing and aahing over them, focusing really hard on developing interesting powers, how they could be used, and how strong they were, only to start to lose interest as soon as those powers were established, and he was writing the three of them off before their introductory arc was even over.

#ask #bnha critical #mha critical #nighteye critical #izuku deserves better #my deeply conflicted feelings on Mirio's everything #he doesn't deserve it but still #he's the true victim of the Overhaul arc #i hate nighteye ever so much #hori's chronic hatred of women #the big three is big wasted potential

[corpsegirl-sephie]

Alright folks as you've all most definitely noticed by now, I have a bit of a thing with @utterlyunoriginaluser (read we desperately wanna get married and we're willing to move countries to do it) (lesbians move so fucking fast don't we?) and I've been writing a bunch of extremely cheesy (take this as a warning) but very sincere stuff about my love for her. She wants me to post one of them here and I did also say I'd show them to people cause I wanna show people how much I love her so here we are. It's rather long and I'm also not gonna deny being a little insecure (understatement of the century right there) so I'll give y'all a read more.

I want to remind you again of just how much more beautiful everything is because of your presence in my life. You've brought so much love into my life and it has changed the way I see everything. I'm willingly learning French and I'm happy to do it, because I'm doing it for you and anything I do for you makes me so happy. I get why people get married now. Before I met you, marriage just seemed like the dumbest thing. "Why would you tie yourself down like that?" I asked myself, "Why would you invest so much money, time, and energy on such a stupid tradition?" Why make it so much harder to separate from one another? What if one day you want to leave? Why would you make that process so much harder for yourself?" I wondered like a fool. I know now why you do all those things, and how wrong I was in the way I was looking at it. You don't do it cause you want to make things harder for yourself. You do it cause the love you feel is so great you can't just leave it in your own heart. Cause you need to show that love in a beautiful, grandiose way that just can't be ignored. Cause you want to prove that you love her, and that you would never even consider leaving her. That you're entirely devoted to her and your love for her. That no matter what, you'll stay by her side until the bitter end. That the only thing that could ever break you two apart is death itself. And you do it cause there's nothing more beautiful than to be hers. No honor greater than being hers. But more importantly than all that, you've shown me that life is beautiful. That there's more to life than suffering. You've shown me that it is possible to feel love and joy. You've shown me I'm worth something. Not as what I might be. Not as an idea that they built up in their head before I was even born. Not as a device for vicarious wish fulfillment. As the person I am, here and now. You've shown me that life is worth living. Thank you so much Evelyn. I love you, more than anything.

Well that's it thank you for reading, forgive the fact this is so ridiculously corny cause I did genuinely write it from my own heart I'm just not very interesting or unique and I'm having a lot of feelings for the first time so I can't process it in ways that are interesting and not surely overdone, also forgive my low self-esteem ramblings, have fun with your scrolling

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again halloween problems (10/31/2023)

not quite an "oops all friends" edition but this edition heavily advised by viewers like you. thank you!

listening

mcr's blood, for seasonal reasons. spotify

Father Finlee by Spence Hood and Justin Ray Stringer is my new favorite song, a spooky prison? folk ballad? elements of the work song and dirge about it. rounds are underutilized in modern music imo.

Finlee played that guard like a fiddle Turned his own fears into a honing missile “Father can you save my soul…” “Well, first you gotta bring me a little C4...”

usually when a song intrigues me like this i try to find interviews or breakdowns of samples or something, but i am coming up flat empty. @dying-suffering-french-stalkers tasting notes: "Volga Boatmen, maybe, but by way of like...1950s/60s Disney choruses? Like Grim Grinning Ghosts?" spotify

-

reading

somewhat horrifying but unsurprising article about how companies who want (or want to keep) governments contracts can buy out entire DC Metro stations' adspaces. via @andmaybegayer i think?

The Pentagon station, a prime target for reaching DOD staffers, was one of a kind. The Pentagon is the most expensive station to “dominate” according to Outfront Media data which I obtained, even though it has substantially fewer riders than some of the others. Advertising to the 665,786 commuters estimated to visit the Pentagon station in a four week period costs $198,000 (about 30 cents per commuter), before fees. Yet in Gallery Place-Chinatown, a station in downtown DC farther away from government buildings, it costs only $120,000 to reach more than three times as many people (5 cents per commuter).

it is difficult to stress how uncooperative miss mackintosh was during this book's photoshoot. this is genuinely the best one.

i did not enjoy and did not finish Roshani Chokshi's 2018 queer magical intrigue and heist caper in belle epoque france, first in a trilogy. i think there is a mismatch between concept and execution here. i originally had a rather long paragraph about how i'd be interested in a non-new-adult book from her, but after checking her website and seeing that she mostly writes midde-grade and YA, and classifies this book as YA (which doesn't really make sense to me, i think everyone in the core crew can legally drink and i think what i read from this book fits better in New Adult) and has a forthcoming adult book i am not interested in, i think she is simply not an author for me. i reevauated this book with YA in mind, but i think teens deserve books with sophisticated writing and good execution too!

this had a really killer hook but the worldbuilding comes very in thick and fast during the first quarter of the book i read, and felt a little dorling kindersley (here is an eye of horus! on a chinese compass! with a sumerian cipher!). the magical system chokshi uses is novel in its heavy reliance on physical objects and like, countermeasures and counterspells? we get little hints of it as a global system, and it feels very analogous to The Power Of The Computer. a lot of it is based on creation of various physical objects, some of it is mind-based, there are the equivalent of magical stone faraday cages. the macguffin is like. what if a major internet exchange was an object you could carry around.

this magic system is so interesting it makes it disappointing and difficult to break down the distinction between "i don't think the soft-skill worldbuilding through connections and loyalties of characters is that well executed in these first hundred pages" and "hate this specific literary device". we are dropped into a heist at a magical auction where the many magical representatives are attending and rapidly rush through a lineup. this would be a really fun movie or other visual setpiece with intricate costuming choices, but it's hard to show and not tell a complex system of combined familial/cultural/nation-state houses of magic with backstabbing politics when you are rushing through a very time-limited heist. i know that it's the first in a trilogy, but the sheer number of factions and names is very large for a ~400 page trilogy entry. if this were a fucking doorstopper of a series i would have more faith that all will be eventually explained and i will eventually be able to distinguish them all, but i truly don't think she has the pages to do that.

the book's most frequent reviewer praise is that most of the core (but still! very wide! there are so many goddamn names!) cast are colonized or otherwise oppressed people, and i must give this book props for including a bisexual man in the ragtag crew. i read up to the first hundred pages to the first twist, and when the person who joins them at the twist has a voice that is not distinct from the existing gang’s, who are already not distinct from each other, i put the book down. a brief excerpt that does not serve this point very well but serves the following paragraph's point

this book felt like someone describing their dnd campaign to me. people on goodreads do love this book so i'm sure it does eventually deliver on the heist and found family aspects, but it's simply not for me.

bought this here in houston over the summer ( i think) not sure where

-

watching

House on Haunted Hill (1959, Castle). this was so charming!!!

"it’s a pity you didn’t know when you started playing murder…that i was playing too." vincent price truly is that bitch. his scenes with his fourth wife in the film, carol ohmart, are electric. they hate each other so much. they've tried to kill each other so many times. she laughs when he reminds her how she poisoned him with arsenic. the sex has got to be insane.

this is a public domain movie that's embedded in its own wikipedia page, lol, but there are various restorations of varying quality floating around.

the exterior shots of the "old, ugly, moldering house" are the frank lloyd wright ennis house in LA, which made me shriek bc it is a famously light/airy/sundrenched building. (exterior wikipedia, interiors here).

thank u @americanwwhore for logging it on letterboxd recently and making me go "oh hey i should watch that too"

-

playing

not technically fallow but i don't have an interesting story to tell about how i'm trying to get a specific set of genshin impact achievements

-

making

hey remember this baby blanket? i also forgot about it but now we’re up to 7/10 repeats. i may actually get this out before the child turns one

every time i make these sheet pan chicken thighs i arrange them like the isle of man coat of arms bc it amuses me. had to really mangle them to get a good temp reading but i have not yet given myself food poisoning here (fingers remain crossed).

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

[moustacheshe]

Yandere! Otto Octavius (tssm) x Reader

Warnings: kidnapping, drugging, yandere-themes

This one shot is a little bit longer than my other stories <3 I hope I didn't make to many mistakes and that Otto is not to out of character ^^' Anyways enjoy reading :D

You put the last packing case down in your new apartment and wipe the sweat from your forehead. Moving all these cardboard boxes solely by your own was not your brightest idea. Of course several people asked you if you needed help... But you decided: 'No, I'd rather break my back before I let anyone do something for me.'. Yes you are stubborn and YES stubbornness hurts. You stretch your sore muscles and your back makes an unhealthy cracking sound. After hearing the crunching of your bones you decide it is indeed time to call it a day. Unpacking needs to wait until tomorrow.

The next day you slowly start to unbox your stuff and clean up a little bit. At least you have some days left of your leave until you need to go back to work.

Suddenly your door bell rings. You jump a little at the sudden sound and wonder who it might be. You're expecting no one. As you look through the peephole you see the postman standing outside your door. He holds a package in his hands. 'Weird...I didn't order something.' You open the door. "Hello?" "Ah, good afternoon ma'am! I'm so sorry to bother you but I have a delivery for your neighbour. Nobody is home and I need to give it to someone living in this house." You look at the small package and back to him. "O-Oh, I just moved here and I don't know the neighbours yet..." He just smiles at you, looking a little desperate. "I left a note for your neighbor, that the package is at your place. Please, my time schedule is already cut short." You sigh and give him a little nod. "Alright I'll take it." The postman seems relieved with your answer and hands you a device to put your signature on. You sign it and take the package. The man thanks you and hurrys back down the stairs.

You close the door behind you and look down at the package. 'Dr. Otto Octavius? Welp, it's always good to have a doctor in the house.' You think while putting the package on the wardrobe in your hallway. After that you continue with unpacking your stuff, trying to get some form of system in the chaos you've made.

It is late in the evening and you are exhausted. You're all sweaty and you look like a mess. You sigh and stretch. "Time for a shower." You say to yourself. Then your doorbell rings again. "Oh!" You go to your door and again look through the peephole. In front of your door is a rather adorable looking man. He has big nerdy looking glasses and a cute little bow tie. Underneath his big brown coat he wears a green sweater with a yellow shirt under it. Carefully you open the door only as far as a gap. "Yes?" "Oh, g-good evening. I-I'm so sorry to bother you this late but I saw the note on my door. It says that you may have a package for me." He seems nervous as he speaks, looking at you through his thick glasses. Now you open the door completely, looking at him in realisation. 'This must be Dr. Octavius...my neighbour...' He's a little taller than you...if not even the same height as you. The man looks a little taken aback upon seeing you now fully in your messy state. "O-Oh, you must be Dr. Octavius. I just moved in yesterday and-" You pause.' He probably just wants his package...and I start rambling about me moving in... Great...' "I-I'm sorry...I'll get your package." He couldn't respond as fast as you vanish into your apartment getting his package. You hand him the small box and laugh nervously. "I-I still have a lot to unpack so..." He just smiles at you and rubs the back of his neck. "I completely understand. Thank you for taking my package in. Have a good evening." "Y-You're welcome! And you too..." With that you quickly close the door. 'Welp, that was awkward...'

'Great job Otto...You could've started a nice conversation with them but no... Gosh, they were cute...' He sighs quietly and goes into his apartment right opposite from yours. Otto puts the package down and looks outside the window. He can't get the image of you out of his head. A little blush forms on his face. "Stop it, Otto. You've just met them." He whispers to himself.

The next day you've spent unpacking the rest of your stuff, calling your apartment now officially finished. You sigh at the thought of going back to work in a few days. But for now you have some time to relax a little bit. It is then your doorbell rings again. You stand up and go for your door. 'It is around noon, who could this be?' As you look through the peephole it is your neighbor from yesterday. He's holding something in his hands. You open the door and greet him. "Hello Dr. Octavius." You smile at him. "Oh, p-please call me Otto. I don't really care about formalities." He smiles back at you. "Okay then...Otto. I'm (y/n) and... I'm sorry about yesterday. It wasn't really a great start." You chuckle nervously. "Oh no, there is nothing to be worried about. I didn't quite made the best first impression myself." He answers getting a little flustered. "But I'll make it up to you. Since you just moved here and you were so kind to take my package in. I made you a little something." He holds out the thing in his hands and it turns out to be a cookie jar. "Oh, that's...that's so nice of you. To be honest nobody ever made cookies for me...at least not in a looooong time, hehe... Thank you very much, Otto." You take the jar and look at the cookies inside. "They look absolutely fantastic." A big smile spreads across your face. "Thank you, I baked them just this morning. It's nice having such a kind new neighbor. The last one was a little..." He frowns. "...unpleasant." Then his face lights up again. Seeing you smile so sweetly at the the cookies HE has made...it just makes him feel all warm inside. "I'm... I'm really sorry to hear that."

There is a moment of awkward silence between you two before Otto speaks up again. "Oh, I completely forgot the time! I need to go to work." He puts his hand onto his head in shock. "I-I'm sorry, I need to leave. Enjoy the cookies and I'll see you around." You look surprised at his sudden reaction. "O-Oh, okay. Have a nice day!" You answer and give him a little wave. With your goodbye he's already hurrying down the stairs. You look after him a little confused but then decide to shrug it off. As you close the door behind you a little smile forms on your lips. He's very kind and adorable.

"Dr. Octavius!" Otto snaps out of his daydream. He looks at his boss Norman Osborn. "You seem quite distracted. Whatever might cause this, it has to wait until later." The tall man gives him a strict glance. "Yes Sir, I'm sorry..." He quickly turns back to his work, typing the data into the computer. His four mechanical arms start working on the generator again. "I want to run the test tomorrow. The subject is already waiting to-" His phone interrupts his lecture. "Get this done until tomorrow!" Then he picks up his phone walking away. Otto sighs and rubs his eyes underneath his glasses. He can't stop thinking about you. His focus is drifting off no matter how hard he tries. "Get it together Otto!" He mumbles to himself.

It has been a few days since you've last seen your neighbor. You started working again. Dealing with rude costumers and trying to get work done while serving some people in between. It's pretty busy lately and one worker after another calls in sick or goes on vacation.

It's one of those days where you leave work and feel like a zombie. You don't want to talk to anyone anymore and your head feels empty. As you look for the keys in your bag you hear a door open up behind you. "Good evening (y/n)!" You turn around slightly and give Dr. Octavius a sleepy smile. "Good evening." His smile falls a little the moment he notices your tired state. "You look exhausted, dear." He frowns. You choose to ignore the nickname and keep this conversation short. "Yeah, it was a rough day. I actually just want to go to bed and get some good sleep." Otto wanted to stop you. He wants you to spend the evening with him. Maybe get to know each other a little better. Well, at least he wants to know everything about you. "O-Oh, that's okay...I-I just... It doesn't matter." He looks a little sad as his eyes dodge yours. You now feel bad for not wanting to talk to him. "Is everything alright?" Otto still doesn't look at you, his eyes fixed on the ground. "I-I actually... I wanted to invite you over for a cup of tea." He looks up into your eyes. "It'll help you relax after your hard day of work." Not that this offer comes surprising to you but...you really didn't think that he would invite you. At least not now. You really want to say no and just go to bed but he looks at you with this cute little blush on his face. With a sigh you smile at him. "Okay, what bad is it going to do." His eyes start to light up and he feels his heart skip a beat.

You look around in the room you're seated in. It's a open eat-in kitchen. It is very simple but overall pretty cosy. There are a few pictures with him shaking the hand of another person on them. He seems to have numerous 'awards' for new scientific inventions. 'Soooo not a DOCTOR doctor but a doctor of science...alright.' You think while looking at a picture with him and what appears to be 4 mechanical arms. It looks kinda cool but at the same time a little creepy. You can't help but to be amazed at how fast technology evolves. "These actuators help me with my work." You jump a little as Otto suddenly speaks up, standing right next to you. "Oh I'm sorry, I...didn't mean to startle you." He gives you an apologetic smile and puts down a cup of tea on the table in front of you. You mumble a small 'Thank you' and look at the cup in front of you. The tea smells wonderful. "This tea always helps me when I have a rough day at work." He sits down on the chair opposite of you on the table and places his cup down.

You carefully nip at the tea and much to your surprise it is not burning hot. In fact it is the perfect drinking temperature. Now you take a big sip and it tastes as amazing as it smells. "Wow this tea is really good. What kind of tea is this?" Dr. Octavius smiles at your praise. "Well it is indeed a recipe I created myself. My experiments are not limited to the laboratory. I like to try new things in my free time too." He blushes a little. 'This is adorable.' You giggle a little at his behavior. "Your wife must be very lucky." He pauses for a moment before looking down at his cup. "I-I don't have anyone... I mean I don't have a wife. I'm...not exactly the social kind of guy." Otto chuckles nervously, still not looking at you. "Oh...don't worry I'm not that big in social activities myself. I'm...mostly at work over the day. And the weekends...are not much of an adventure either." You smile at him so sweetly he could melt down on the spot. "Speaking of work, what do you do for a living?" He changes the topic, leaning forward on the table and resting his elbows on it.

You two talk for what felt like hours. Well Otto asks questions and you answer them. Every time you ask something about him he replies with one or two short sentences before returning to sounding you out. Nevertheless it is a really enjoyable evening. You feel like talking to a friend, relieving all your stress and easing out your worries. The tea really did its job... Otto makes a mental list of the things you told him, things you like, things you hate and the worries you have.

As you look at the time, you are startled.

"Oh no, I completely forgot about the time. I need to get up early tomorrow!" You notice and quickly finish the rest of your tea. Otto checks the time too. "Oh yes, it's getting quite late. I'll accompany you to the door." You two stand up and make your way to the entrance. "It was quite the enjoyable evening. We should do this regularly." Otto suggests while handing you your jacket. "Thank you. We'll...um...why not." You answer while putting on your shoes. "I also enjoyed the evening but can we put this on a weekend, maybe? I don't think I'll survive the week if we do this regularly during the week." Otto smiles and opens the door for you. "Well of course, my dear. I don't want you to over do yourself. We'll do this on a weekend and then we both have more time to spend." You smile and give him a thumbs up. "Cool beans." Otto could just die here and now of how cute you are. "Well then have a good night and I hope you're not to tired in the morning." "You too and don't worry I'll survive it." You chuckle and leave his apartment. "Good bye." You give him a little wave as you enter your apartment. He waves back and waits until you close the door behind you.

Then he shuts his door and sighs. As he closes his eyes a big smile forms on his lips. The image of you smiling at him so sweetly imprinted itself in his mind. He walks over to the table and takes your empty cup. There's still a little wet spot on the rim where your lips were. Your lips look so soft. Otto takes the two cups to the kitchen, putting them into the sink.

It is when he lays in bed his thoughts start to get...less innocent. He hugs his pillow, imagining it is you he is holding. Your soft skin, your smell and your warmth, everything just for him. Otto lets out a soft moan as his thoughts turn sinful.

"Finally!" You sigh as you let yourself fall down onto the couch. It is weekend and you are more than happy to get some rest. This week made the circles underneath your eyes seem even darker. You're so tired and nothing seems to go right...at least not at work. Suddenly you remember something you wanted to do after you get home. You get up again and take your spare key from the key hook. Leaving your apartment you make the few steps over to Dr. Octavius's door. You ring the doorbell and wait. Then you hear soft footsteps coming closer from the inside. The door unlocks and opens. "Ah, (y/n) dear. I'm so glad to see you, do you want to come in?" Otto asks smiling softly. He's wearing a sleeveless white shirt with a pair of dark green pants. "Oh no, I'm sorry. I just wanted to ask you something." You open your hand and show him the key. "Since we are neighbours and you are the only one I know here in this house, would you be willing to take my spare key? I mean, if I'm on vacation and/or there is an emergency. Y-You don't have to if you-" "Of course, I'll take it!" He interrupts you, maybe a little bit to enthusiastic. You pause and blink a few times before smiling at him. "That's very nice of you. In the house I lived in before moving I gave the key to one of my neighbours too." You hand him the key. "Oh that's not a problem at all. You just need to tell me when you're away for a longer period of time and I'll look after your apartment." He puts the key in his pocket. "Thank you very much. Um...have a good day then." You say a little bit awkward and turn to leave.

"Wait!" Otto calls grabbing your hand out of reflex. You turn around looking at him a little surprised. "O-Oh." He lets go of your hand, shocked by his own reaction. "I-I'm so sorry." Otto nervously apologies and lowers his head. You start to chuckle. "Don't worry, I was just a little surprised. What did you want to say?" Dr. Octavius looks up at you again, his heart starts to race. You're not mad about him grabbing your hand? "Oh um...I-I just wanted to ask..." He rubs the back of his neck. "Since it's weekend, would you like to come over for dinner? You look pretty tired and I thought you would like it if you didn't have to make dinner yourself." You again look at him a little surprised. For a moment, you think about it. You don't see the problem with having dinner with Dr. Octavius. No matter how...odd this may seem. It's not like this is something extraordinary, right? Is his behavior strange? Or is it normal and you are just being paranoid... "Are you alright?" Otto's voice interrupts your thoughts. "O-Oh yeah, sorry. I was just...lost in my own thoughts. Yes, I would like to come over for dinner." You answer and smile at him.

A few hours later you stand in front of your neighbors door again. He said that you don't need to dress nicely, just put on something you feel comfortable in. So you did. You ring his doorbell and he opens right away. Like he was waiting for you to finally arrive. "Hello again, please come in!" Otto steps aside and you enter with a small 'thank you'. He leads you to the open kitchen area you already know. It smells really good and the table is already set. "Please sit down, dear." You do as you're told and watch him go into the kitchen. "Should I help you with something?" You ask while observing his doings at the kitchen counter. The scientist turns around and looks at you with a strict glance. "Oh, absolutely not! You are my guest, I don't want you to lift a single finger." He almost sounds offended. "Alright, alright." You say raising your hands in defense. Otto smiles, satisfied with your answer and turns back to preparing the food.

He places the dish on the table. It looks fantastic and the smell...your stomach starts to growl. "This looks absolutely amazing." "Thank you very much." He blushes at your compliment. "W-What would you like to drink?" For a moment you think about what goes best with this dish but then you decide to keep it simple. "Well I really liked your tea last time, could you make it again for me? O-Of course only if it's not to much work for you." Otto's heart aches, seeing you so tired and still you ask if it's okay for him to make a tea for you. He'll do anything to make this evening as pleasant as possible for you. "My dear, of course I'll make a tea for you. Don't worry about anything okay?" You nod and whisper a little 'thank you'. How did you deserve to have such a kind neighbour?

You two eat together, the dish he made tasted as amazing as it looked. Otto asked you about your work and if you've already settled in your new apartment. The answer to your apartment situation was easy, though the part about your work...

"It's not...bad but..." You start but then fight for an answer. Otto puts the tableware into the sink while listening to you. You on the other hand start to feel like crying. The stress on your job and at home really start to get to you. You swallow hard. You can't cry in front of someone you barely know. He has probably enough own problems, he doesn't need to worry about yours too. You feel your eyes water and your vision starts to blurr. You try to blink the tears away. "Is everything alright, dear?" Otto asks now turning away from the sink. You don't respond right away, you're to afraid that he might notice something. Although you didn't know he already did. "Yes, yes I'm alright. I just get worked up over nothing sometimes. I-It's getting late I should probably-" You didn't notice Otto walking up beside you. "No, you're not fine. I'll not let you leave in this condition. Come on, let's sit on the couch and you tell me what's wrong." You're not all about discussing right now so you just do as he says. Now the tears start running down your cheeks while Otto lays an arm around you, guiding you to the couch.

"I-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to..." He places you down onto the soft couch and hands you a handkerchief. "Now, now there's nothing to be sorry about." Dr. Octavius even gets you a blanket and puts it around your shoulders. He wants to just grab you and pull you into a tight embrace, never wanting to let go. Just lock you away from all the bad things that cause you to feel like this. He sits down next to you and takes your hand in his bigger ones. They feel soft and warm, it's a weird feeling, a person you barely know holding your hand, but you accept it. "Now tell me what's going on, dear." You sniffle not wanting to look him in the face. "It's just...work is really stressing me out lately. I can't sleep properly and...it's just to much for me at the moment. I-I'm sorry, I know this is nothing to be crying about..." Otto squeezes your hand, watching you cry your heart out hurts him. He inches a little closer to you, careful not to scare you away. "I know how you feel...sometimes everything seems to go over ones head. But I'll be here for you. You can cry all you want and talk about everything that's bothering you." You now look up at him and smile while more tears stream down your face. "T-Thank you, that's really nice of you." Otto smiles and one of his hands strokes your back in a soothing manner. "Oh, don't thank me I-"

His heart almost stops as you suddenly throw your arms around him and hug him. You don't know why you decided to hug him but you just needed this right now. At first Otto is taken aback but then quickly puts his arms around you. The moment you notice him returning your hug you relax in his arms. Otto could die a happy man right now. You find comfort in his warm embrace, he smells sweet, something like cinnamon sugar. The moment of comfort doesn't last long (not long enough in Otto's opinion) before you pull away from him. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... But nevertheless thank you for not pushing me away." You whipe the rest of your tears away but your eyes are still puffy and reddened. "Now why would I push you away? You can have as many hugs as you want." The scientist pulls the blanket back up around your shoulders, which you lost while embracing him. You chuckle a little followed by a yawn. "Oh, I think I'll go to bed...I'm pretty tired." Otto stares at you for a moment, deciding rather he can let you go home like this. What if you can't sleep after this? What if you feel not good enough to be on your own? "Stay just a little longer. I'll get you another tea, you must stay hydrated and it'll help you sleep better. Plus watching a little TV might distract you from everything that's on your mind right now." On one hand you really don't want to exhaust your visit. On the other hand Otto has been so patient and sweet with you, why not stay a little longer. "Okay but not for to long." You answer and lean back into the couch. "Wonderful." Dr. Octavius is delighted by your answer. He turns on the TV and hands you the remote control. "Just put on whatever you like." You nod and Otto goes into the kitchen.

As he prepares your tea he fights against his conscience. He's about to do something he's not very proud of. But he does this for you, for your own good. He'll make sure you'll rest well and like this he can 'monitor' you a little longer. As he puts the drug into your tea he mutters, ''I'm sorry (y/n)''. Otto knows this is wrong but he can't help himself, seeing you break down like this...he just has to do something. At least that's what he tells himself.

Meanwhile you look through the different channels. There's nothing that's really interesting you. Not until you put on the news. The news reporter talks about a incident with another 'villain' who fought against Spider-Man. Pictures show a fight scene between Spider-Man and a guy they call 'The Green Goblin'. This guy crashed some charity event, the police doesn't really know his true intentions. "The man stole and used Oscorp technology, which was confirmed by several eye witnesses at the scene. ..." Otto hands you the tea. "Isn't Oscorp the company you work for? Did you see this guy?" You ask pointing at the TV. The scientist follows your gesture looking at the picture of Spider-Man and the Green Goblin. He swallows hard. "Y-yes I... I even had an encounter with him. It was..." Otto stops for a moment. You take a sip from your tea. "...scary." He sighs but then turns to you and smiles. "But let's not talk about work." Dr. Octavius sits down beside you. "Oh man, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." You quickly change the channel. "Don't worry, I'm fine." He gives you a reassuring smile.

After looking through many other channels you end up watching some action movie. At the beginning you two talk a lot about the movie and how bad some of the actors and special effects are. But after a while you get quiter and it gets more and more difficult keeping your eyes open. "Man...this movie sure is...boring." You say trailing off at the end. "It sure seems like it." Otto agrees, watching your head drop to the side before it bounces up again. "I...should really...go...home..." The last word is only a whisper as your head falls back into the backrest and your eyes close. The man beside you waits for a moment, until he hears your steady breathing, telling him that you're now fast asleep.

He sighs, "I'm sorry (y/n) but this is for your own good...and maybe for my own egoistic self." Otto carefully lays you down, resting your head in his lap. He covers your body with the blanket he gave you. Once everything is settled he admires your peaceful sleeping face. "You're so beautiful." He whispers while running his fingers through your hair. Otto imagined your hair feeling soft. Now that he's really touching it, it feels like velvet to his fingers. He continues to stroke your hair while watching the rest of the movie. Otto trys to imagine that you've fallen asleep on his lap on your own.

After a while he slowly grows tired too. He hasn't felt that comfortable and happy in a long time. Otto leans back into the couch and closes his eyes. One of his hands rests on your sleeping form. "Good night, dear. I love you." He whispers before he falls asleep with a smile.

You wake up with a small whine. It is warm and comfortable. Slowly you open your eyes, blinking away the sleep. Looking around you notice that you are not at home. You gasp and quickly sit up. "Oh shit, I fell asleep!" You curse yourself. Suddenly you hear a door open and you turn to see Otto coming from another room. "Ah, good morning dear. How did-" "I'm so sorry, Otto! I-I must've been so tired... Oh man, I should've gone home. I'm so sorry!" You quickly stand up. "It's okay (y/n), I didn't mind at all. I wanted to let you rest, you looked so tired." Otto smiles at you, playing innocent. "NO, this is not okay. I can't just fall asleep at other peoples places. I'm so sorry, this is embarrassing." You walk past Otto, quickly grabbing your stuff and putting on your shoes. He follows you wanting to stop you. "(Y/n) I said it is okay, don't blame yourself. If I wanted to have you out, I would have woken you up. I actually wanted to ask you if you want to eat breakfast together?" He blushes a little bit. "I-I'm sorry, I've already outstayed my visit for to long. Thank you for the nice evening and for the meal, I really enjoyed it." You give him an apologizing smile. "But I need to go now, I'm sorry...G-Goodbye." The moment you've finished your sentence, you've already vanished through the door of his apartment and closed it.

Otto stays behind, not knowing what to do. He wanted you to stay so badly...and now he made you feel bad. He didn't want this. It's all his fault. He just wanted to make you feel better or make himself feel better? No! He does this for you and not for himself. Otto slowly backs up from the door and goes into the kitchen area. He sits down on the table, thinking about where it went wrong. It's obviously not about the way he treated you. Maybe you're just a little confused? It isn't far-fetched that your mind is clouded by the stress you're enduring. "My poor dear..." He whispers looking down at his hands. "I need to protect them..." An idea pops up in his mind but then he shakes his head. He can't do this to you...

You didn't talk to your neighbour for over a week. Because of the fact that you fell asleep on his couch AND because you made such a big deal out of it right in front of him...

You stand in front of his door not sure about what to say or to do. You're embarrassed and you'd rather not knock, but you feel like you own him an apology. Before you can overthink for any longer the door opens in front of you. You freeze and stare at Dr. Octavius who looks surprised at you standing in front of his door. "Oh (y/n)! What a pleasant surprise. I didn't see you in a while." He smiles and it doesn't look upset nor bitter. "H-Hello, I-I actually just wanted to..." You sigh and look at the ground. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for acting so stupid and childish... And that I ignored you for over a week." "Don't blame yourself, dear. You're young and you still need to learn that sometimes things happen that one can't control. Like our feelings..." You look at him and for a moment he's lost in your eyes. Then he slightly shakes his head. "But I start rambling again. I need to go to work, how about you come over later?" Something about how he's acting seems a little odd. Or is it just you? Still you're relieved that he's not mad at you. "I-I'd really like to come over but I'll be working until night today... Maybe another time."

Otto is shocked that you're working THIS late today. "Don't you normally work until afternoon?" He asks not showing that he's angry about you working so late. "Well yeah, but there're so many workers absent lately, we're understaffed. I can't choose my work time at the moment..." You sigh and rub your arm. "I see..." Otto can't watch you suffer any longer, something needs to be done quickly.

At work Otto's thoughts are with you again. Not that any other day would be different. It is until Mr. Osborn enters the room and starts lecturing him. He is used to his boss bullying him but today really pushes him to his limit. He just wants to see Norman Osborn suffer. This ungrateful bastar-

"Otto are you listening?" He snaps out of his thoughts. "Y-yes, of course." That's how it always is... He wants to speak up but then...he just can't. At least he is looking forward for tonight. He's going to wait for you to return back home and then he's going to surprise you.

After Norman was finished insulting him Otto was left alone in the room. He sighs and goes back to his work on the generator. While he's working someone reinserts the safety key into the control panel. Otto watches in horror as the generator starts building up electricity. He trys everything to get out of the room. Otto shouts and pounds against the door trapping him. There's no way out... He sinks down to the ground onto his knees. "(Y/n)... I love you..." Dr. Octavius whispers before a sharp pain goes through his body and he loses consciousness.

Upon waking up the only thing he feels is pain. His harness melted into his spine. The voices in his head...no they're not voices...they're his own thoughts. The voice of Norman Osborn ecos in his head. That's when the pain turns into hate. He starts to attack Spider-Man and Norman Osborn, who actually just wanted to help him. He's going to show everyone what he's capable of. Weak? No. Dr. Octopus isn't weak. He's the genius that is going to take over the whole world...

During the fight with Spider-Man the accumulator for his arms signals him that his power is running low. He remembers there is a spare battery for his harness at his apartment. Otto grabs the nearest heavy object with one of his mechanical arms and throws it at Spider-Man. This gives him enough time to flee from the scene.

The wall to his apartment bursts open and he enters the building. "I can not believe I used to live in this anemic hovle." He says to himself as he looks around for the spare battery. After a moment he spots the accumulator and grabs it. "Hm, I need a more permanent solution." Then he suddenly stops in his motion. Right there on the table underneath the spare battery lays a key. He carefully picks it up. "(Y/n)..." There it is again, this warm feeling in his body upon thinking about you, just...much more stronger. "I still have plenty of time until I run out of energy. There is something I need to take care of first." An evil smile forms on his lips and his actuators start to chirp in excitement.

You almost fell asleep on your way home and now as you enter your apartment you let out a loud sigh. Your body aches, especially your back. "Ouch, my back is killing me..." You hiss and put your bag onto the floor. As you enter your living room you turn on the light. You yawn and rub your eyes. "Oh man...what a day..." "What a day indeed.~" The sudden voice behind you makes you jump and quickly turn around. You freeze and your heart starts hammering against your chest. "W-Wha... O-Otto?" He's wearing these weird mechanical tentacles, strange looking glasses and a outlandish outfit. This is not the Otto you know, he looks...evil. You take a few steps back. "Do not be afraid, dear. I have no intentions of harming you." "W-What are y-you doing in my apartment? W-What happened to you?!" He smirks. "The only thing that happened to me is that I have improved...expanded my mind. As for the reason I am here..." Otto takes a few steps towards you. "St-Stop don't come any closer!" You reach into the pocket of your coat and grab a hold of your pepper spray. When you're walking home alone at night you always carry it with you. Otto frowns. "You might want to think about what you do next. I know you always carry a pepper spray with you... Just let me explain." You take another step back. "Please just leave Dr. Octavius, you're really scarring me." Tears start to rise in your eyes. "(Y/n) dear, you really do not need to to be scared. I am not here to harm you. In fact I am here because I-I am actually...in love with you." Your eyes widen and you swallow hard." Y-You w-what..." Otto smiles softly at your reaction.

"Oh sweetheart, you are so cute. That is the reason I fell in love with you the moment I first saw you. You were so kind to me and understanding. I saw how exhausted you were and still you could not bring yourself to say no to my invitations. I wanted to make you happy... I have to admit I could have done more for you. " He crosses his arms and looks to the side, seemingly thinking about something. You are still starring at him, speechless about what he's just said. 'Was this the reason for his strange behavior?' Then his head turns back to you and a smirk forms on his lips. "That is why I am here, I can not stand seeing you work until night and almost fall asleep while standing. You are exhausted and your muscles are hurting. I can change that and I will change that." You can feel your heart beating even faster and a cold shiver going down your spine. "I-I... I can't... T-This isn't right. You need to let me go!" Otto tsks at you shaking his head. "I am afraid I can not let that happen, dear. I do not expect you to understand my reasons...at least not at the moment. You just need to know that I am perfectly capable of taking care of you and that I will cherish you like the beautiful gem you are." He slowly closes in on you.

You don't think for to long before spraying the pepper spray in his direction. He growls and his mechanical arms come into the way and block his face from the spray. You use this opportunity to make a run for the door, dodging the actuators on your way. "Do not make this difficult (y/n)!" Otto growls turning around. "HELP! SOMEBODY! CALL THE POLICE! I- AH!" Before you can reach the door something wraps around your waist, pulling you back. "PLEASE, ANYBODY! I'M GETTING- hmpf!" Otto pulls you into his arms and covers your mouth with his hand. You trash around in his arms as he tries to calm you down. "Shhhh, (y/n) it will okay. We do not need any unwanted attention." His actuators come into your view, they seem to stare at you. Your pleas stay unheard as tears now stream down your cheeks. The mechanical tentacles grab a hold of your arms. Otto gets a cloth from the pocket of his coat. "You will stay here for a little while, dear. I need to get some things settled." He presses the cloth over your nose and mouth. You try to hold your breath, you know if you fall asleep your life is over. "You can not hold your breath forever, sweetheart." He's right and you know it. After a few seconds you can't take it any longer. "There you go." Otto whispers as you slowly begin to lose consciousness. Your strength fades away and your eyelids get heavy.

Otto sighs as you finally stop moving and lay in his arms fast asleep. He holds you tight and nuzzles his face into your hair, smelling your sweet sent. Somewhere deep in his heart he knows that this is wrong. But someone needs to watch over you sweet little delicate creature.

Upon waking up you notice that you're laying in a bed. 'Was it just a bad dream?' You open your eyes and blink a few times. The room you are in looks unfamiliar it's very small and it is sparingly furnished. But the worse thing is that it has no window and only one door. The only light source comes from a writing table with a desk lamp in one corner of the room. It looks like someone left it just a moment ago. 'I need to get out of here!' You think while throwing the blanket back, getting quickly out of the bed. It is until you stand on your feet that you notice how weakened you still are. You sink down to the ground as your legs give in. "Damn it!" In this moment the door suddenly opens and Otto enters the room, humming a little tune until he sees you on the ground. He's wearing his sleeveless white shirt and his normal glasses again but those nasty tentacle-like arms are still attached to his back. "Oh, (y/n) dear! Did you hurt yourself? You should not have stood up in this condition." One of his actuators gently picks you up and brings you closer to him. You glare at him trying to wiggle out of the grip of the mechanical arm. "Let me go! What is this place? Where have you taken me? I want to go home!" You ask him feeling a little bit dizzy. Otto takes your face in his hands and strokes your cheeks with his thumbs. "Shhhh, it is okay. This place is just temporary, until I find something else for us to settle down. I know this may be to much for you to take in at the moment, but please try to be good. I do not want you to get in any trouble..." You stare at him in disbelief. How are you supposed to react to his 'request'? Does he really think that you are just going to stay here with him? That you won't fight back?

You shake your head which causes Otto to let go of your face. "N-No! I'll not stay here with you! I have friends and family who are probably already looking for me. W-Why do you do this? Why me?" The scientist sights and places you back onto the bed. "I do not expect you to understand my methods, but what I need you to understand is that I love and care for you. In order to protect you I needed to do this. You were in pain and so exhausted... I know that this seems selfish but I will do anything to make you happy. I will not force myself onto you...but maybe after a little while you will understand..." While talking Otto fiddles with his hands.

For just a moment he looks like your kind neighbour again...

#the spectacular spider man #tssm otto octavius #otto octavius #yandere #art #drawing #artist #dr. otto octavius #dr. octopus #one shot #x Reader #spider man

[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.201 thoughts

[I'd Rather Play Bloody Seven]

(Contents: matchup analysis - Nico+Ichico vs. Language, speculation)

I am so sure that Tozuka is a Medaka Box fan. A shonen battle manga that focuses primarily on the romance between its two leads, a power system based on a combination of disadvantage and personal growth, and a tendency to replace traditional battles with games...that's Medaka Box, man!!! If Tozuka comes forth one day and just outright says Medaka Box was a major influence on him, y'all know who said it first!

Anyway, this chapter was super fun for me. Not only did it take me right back to my Medaka Box days (RIP Cipher Academy), it established pretty much immediately the versatility of all of the involved combatants

Language, of course, has access to all of the world's words, so she can theoretically do anything, but in order to make that happen she needs to set up specific rules that facilitate those words into context. Shiritori, then, is the perfect game for that, as in conjunction with Japanese's own versatility for loan words and compatibility with other writing and pronunciation systems, it precludes the need for the player to conjure something from nothing by giving them a jumping-off point. It's kind of like Scribblenauts Showdown with an extra layer of consideration

Nico, in similar fashion, turns that versatility on its head by quickly finding a way to reach his specific niche, transitioning from Aegi[s] to [S]cience. If Lan's familiarity with words allows her to do just about anything, then Nico can do the same with his familiarity with science. He'll still need to come up with words to keep the Shiritori chain going, but he can compensate for any words that don't inherently win a clash by utilizing that word's scientific principles OR the scientific devices he summoned on his previous turn. By summoning his Psycho Pods specifically, he's guaranteed that his usual kit is always available no matter what Lan throws at him, even if he needs to come up with a throwaway word in the meantime

The Psycho Pods have the added benefit of being usable by Ichico even in her soul state; while Nico may not believe in souls enough to actually be able to interact with Ichico, he knows that she's there and presumably believes that her mental capacity is present as well. Because of this, her thought patterns and brainwaves are able to be transmitted to the Psycho Pods via her soul without the need of her literal brain or nervous system, a concept that was once touched upon in this very lab during the Ghost fight. Because Ichico is just as adept at using science as Nico is, she can effectively serve as backup in this game by utilizing the Psycho Pods while Nico focuses on his word choice

How this will develop as the fight goes, I'm not sure, but we've definitely laid the groundwork for Nico learning to see Ichico's soul now that he has some undeniably empirical evidence of its existence (her ability to directly manipulate the Psycho Pods). If I had to guess, the final straw won't be that he believes in souls specifically, but that he believes in Ichico's abilities; technically he won't see "Ichico's soul," he'll see "Ichico," because he believes in her. I'm also willing to bet that keeping her alive in his heart, knowing that her soul is by his side, will be what triggers the awakening of Unforgettable - the drive to remember what he wants rather than being haunted by unpleasant memories

I know I always say I don't like to make predictions, but it's so hard not to when the potential character development is so juicy! Like we're definitely going to get some callbacks to the Ghost fight, how can I not get excited about that and keep my imagination from running wild???

I'm also wondering if the game is going to end with Nico tricking Lan into using a word that ends in N or if he's going to actually hit her with something that'll kill her. It's kind of hard to envision what can kill her, but making her break the rules would definitely do it. Going by her relatively clean state in L100, I'd say that's more or less what he did before

...Wait, wait wait wait...I'm having an epiphany...I'm probably wrong about this, but...what if Nico forcefully gives himself Unforgettable? Like Lan ends a word with the letter U or the A syllable and Nico uses that to create Unforgettable/Anfoogettaburu? Nico's Aegis was based on how he envisioned Fuuko's description of it, so if he imagines it to be a method of recalling lost memories, he might use it to figure out how he beat Lan in L100; he might even immediately awaken to his soul memories too since he'll be looking back at his previous self, giving the opportunity for the previous Unforgettables to chime in

Maybe that's too much of a stretch, but if I were writing this, that's definitely the route I'd take. Hopefully we find out this week, but if not, probably the next

Until then, let's enjoy life!

#undead unluck #fouryearsandananime #4y1a reviews

[weenwrites]

Hello!!! So glad to see ur asks open, but first, how are you?? Hope you've been doing alright 💖💖

Okay, now for my request: what do you think would happen if TFP Ratchet (in a Soulmarks AU) found his soulmate in a human because he accidentally reveals himself during some recon?? The soulmarks could be anything: first words, the soulmate's name, or whatever you make up, and now Ratchet and Soulmate are on thin ice with Agent Fowler, who didn't even realize humans and cybertronians could BE soulmates!!

For an added twist, maybe this human is like, totally NOT what anyone would expect the universe to match him with. They might be super against having an alien soulmate, maybe they think they're dteaming, maybe they hated school and dropped out, maybe they're just a total loser 😶😶 please, show me your interpretation of this!!! your writing and ideas are always super cool and entertaining, so I'd be jazzed if u give this one a go ✨✨

TFP Ratchet W/ A Human Soulmate He Initially Dislikes

Pairing - Romantic Category - Headcanons Trigger Warnings - None

First Words/Soulmate's Name: Initially Ratchet questioned what the strange scribbling on the underside of his arm was, and only when he arrived on Earth and learn of the planet's many dialects did he realize that his soulmate might just be human. Of course he isn't happy about this, and actually tries to avoid going out to populated areas and sticks to places that are as far from any human settlement as possible. While he understands that he might not be able to avoid this because it's apparently "destined" to happen, it won't keep him from trying to prevent it from happening.

A beautiful Flourish of Color/Something Else: He's left as clueless as you are, so does he really try doing anything to avoid meeting his soulmate? No, not at all. If anything, he prioritizes the war and his duties as a medic over finding his future soulmate. He hardly thinks about his soulmark and his soulmate is the least of his concerns.

Now onto the actual SOULMATE thing... It's pretty easy to imagine how he feels upon finally meeting you for the first time. He's upset that yet another human comes to learn about his existence—and especially if you left a bad first impression on him, he'll be even more upset that you of all people are now his responsibility (since Optimus would most likely assign him to be your guardian) and that you're also his soulmate. So initially the first few times you talk with one another are unpleasant and awkward, but then again that depends on whether you even try to talk to him or not, and how you act around him.

Whenever he has to pick you up and take you to base, he hardly says a thing to you, and it's clear he isn't fond of you. The atmosphere's may be tense, or it may be awkward, or it may be a mix of both. He keeps his attention to the road and to getting you to base as quickly as he can so he can just get this over with. He prefers to have the other bots pick you up rather than doing it himself, but if no one else can, he'll do it reluctantly.

If you're against having him as your guardian, then that's one thing the two of you can relate over. He doesn't want this any more than you do, and most likely hates this more than you do (or perhaps to the same degree). The kids may tell him that the two of you might as well get along, but he sure as heck won't do that. He prefers to leave you to your own devices so long as you leave him to his.

If you happen to bother him a lot when you're around, that's another thing he'll complain about. However he doesn't snap at you immediately. For example, if you're playing loud music of course he'll think it's initially annoying and just try to continue on with his work regardless, but if it happens to be extremely loud or unpleasant he'll snap and ask you to turn it down or go somewhere else. And depending on if you reply with something that gets on his nerves, the two of you would most likely break out in a tense argument that would only end if one of you stormed off or stopped, or if someone else intervened.

Over time, if you eventually show a better side of yourself to him, or do something that changes his view on you, he'll start treating you a bit nicer. He won't seem that reluctant or upset when it comes to picking you up and bringing you to base, but he'll still most likely be as harsh when it comes to asking you to stop disturbing him (if the two of you happen to get into an argument again). He'd treat you like Jack. He doesn't have any negative opinion of you, but nor does he really have any positive one, he'd feel mostly neutral about you, perhaps still leaning a bit toward negative.

It'll take some time and some effort, but the two of you would eventually get together. Perhaps the two of you occasionally bicker like an old married couple every now and then, but the arguments don't get as heated as they would before. And at times he'd reflect back on before the two of you became partners, and mull over how you weren't as bad as he originally thought. Sure, you can still be difficult at times in his opinion, but still, you aren't that bad.

#tfp imagines #tfp headcanons #tfp x reader #tfp ratchet #ratchet x reader #[ by the time you see this a couple weeks have passed since i wrote this ] #[ but past me was well! sure i had a rough start to the week but i'm doing better now ] #[ hope you enjoy this! ] #x reader #self insert #reader insert #weenwrites

[lupismaris]

It's the final day of my 20s and I found myself answering, as expected, the question "how's it feel?" rather a lot, asked most by my older colleagues, especially when they realized this is technically a big milestone birthday

The trouble is it's not a milestone birthday for me in the same sense.

24 was a milestone, it was supposed to be a diagnosis, an omen, the tidings of the end.

25 was a milestone, the final bell, last call, the closing of the doors. I can remember standing in a freezing Times Square at midnight while bf ordered our pizza waiting for an act of god, hoping it would sound as loving as a bartender calling out the last round of the night or a mother switching on the porch light for wandering kids to come home.

26-29 weren't milestones so much as baffling confusing years left to my own devices waiting for the cosmic powers that be to realize they'd miscounted and the hunt would snatch me up at some point or another to set the scales right. Somewhere along the way I stopped thinking that and started thinking instead that I might as well make use of whatever time I'd manage to steal before someone notices. Then it shifted to "how does one build a life out of borrowed time, especially when life after 25 never existed as a possibility?"

Now 30 comes, and I'm being asked on the last day of my 20s, how I'm feeling, by people who were terrified of aging, terrified of losing that chapter of their lives, and I told them honestly, as un-depressingly as possible, that 30 feels a bit like coming up for air. I never thought I'd see it, but here it is and I'm waiting to breathe deep.

I swim a lot, whenever I can, the colder the water the better, and there's a moment when you've pushed too hard and held on too long and you see the surface above you with the light cresting and shimmering in the dark as your muscles seize and your lungs shudder under your ribs and you push for those last few inches until you break through for air, gasping, wrenching breathes without grace or dignity, reborn each time, raw and desperate and violently alive- only to do it again a few minutes later, joyfully.

That's what this feels like.

There's no running away this year, no fleeing as far from this makeshift home as possible. There's no self deprecation or deprivation or spreading ourselves too thin. Hell, I have a shrink appointment in twenty minutes, I'm asking for med refills and sleeping meds finally after fighting it for years. I have an ultrasound a week after Christmas. Nothing changes really. But I'm surrounded by people who showed up when I offered a place to come and be together, offered a meal and a bit of love. I have you all here in the void. I have enough to keep the cats fed and medication in the cabinet and food on the table. I have partners who love me even with the distance. Despite it all I'm happy, I think for the first time I am happy, debt, illness and all.

Here's to 30.

Here's to you, to me, to coming up for air.

And here's to the queers who can't envision life past 16, 18, 21, 25- we build our own lives. Sometimes it's entirely out of scraps. It will never look quite like you picture it. But there will hopefully come a moment, be it soft and subtle or a jazz band chorus, when you realize you are loved and the world lies at your feet. The smallest step makes it possible, even just waking up tomorrow counts.

I love you all so very much. Thank you for sticking with me the last decade 💕

Here's to 30 🥂

All my love xxoo

James Maren

#it's Jamie! #death tw #just in case #its been a strange day ngl #im anxiously awaiting that act of god again but like- more in a Christmas carol sense #its like im gonna turn a corner and see ghosts waiting to have dinner and ring in 30 with me like old friends

[hekateinhell]

The seven deadly sins! Please assign one to Lestat, Louis, Armand, Daniel 🤓

These are not concrete by any means, I just went with my first superficial thought but I'm pretty sure every sin could be applied to each of them in different contexts.

Lestat — Pride

A large part of what keeps him from being vulnerable with those he loves is his pride.

Lestat, on the distance he feels from Gabrielle after they left France:

She must have known what was happening, that we were growing ever farther apart, that my heart was breaking and I had too much pride to say it to her. (TVL)

Lestat, on never being able to listen to other people:

Why didn't I learn from any of them-Gabrielle, Armand, Marius? But then, I never have listened to anyone, really. Somehow or other, I never can. (TVL)

Lestat, on love:

[...] the sheer excitement was excruciating, and the love I felt for him [Louis] was positively humiliating. (TVL)

Lestat, on expressing his love out loud:

And I wanted to call to him [Armand], to tell him that it was a lie I'd spoken to him, that I did love him. I did. But it was my time to be at peace with all things. (TVL)

I took a deep breath and looked away from him [Louis], wishing I could say what I really wanted to say. That I loved him. But I couldn't do that. The feeling was too strong. (TVL)

I wanted to say we all love one another. We all have to love one another. If you [Armand] and I and Louis don’t love one another after all we’ve been through, well, then all our powers mean nothing, and our dreams mean nothing, and so we have to love one another. And maybe I did say this silently and he heard it, but I doubted it. (RoA)

That's enough of Lestat, I'm getting cranky. He could've also been Lust.

Louis — Sloth

Just thinking about him makes me lazy so I'm not going to dig up quotes to justify this. But I don't think Louis has accepted a lot of agency in his life and he doesn't seem to take accountability for his part in the things that happen to him. It has always been Lestat, Claudia, and Armand who have called the shots, more or less. Left his own devices, he sits in a rotting shack with disintegrating clothes.

Sloth.

And also mood, honestly.

Armand — Lust

I feel like Lust is too easy for Armand but the other sins of desire like Gluttony and Greed don't fit as well to me. I'm not necessarily thinking of lust in the carnal sense though it does apply to mortal Amadeo, Armand's relationship with a human Daniel, and the way he drinks from Lestat in TVA.

But rather an intense and covetous longing for love, passion, and connection that takes on many forms (some of them possessive and violent) and stops at nothing.

Lestat did famously call him "the embodiment of thirst itself" (derogatory) in TVL. But because Armand is blorbo, I also have to point out that Lestat later said in PL, "Armand's not without compassion, not without a heart."

Daniel — Lust

Like Armand, he could've also been another sin of desire, I was tempted to give him Greed for variation here but Greed is more for material possessions.

Just thinking about how desperately he wanted to be a vampire, that lust for eternal life before he ever met Armand that was then amplified tenfold and combined with a desire for Armand and his blood.

No, he had never been revolted by Armand, he [Daniel] had to admit it. What he had always felt was ravening and hopeless desire. (QotD)

#listen i started and finished this ask in three entirely different moods i hope it's coherent #you ask and hekate answers #vc #quotes

[devilscreekballad]

Have the first 1078 words of Mrs Meadows' POV in ch7:

---

You wake up feeling as if you had been thrown under a carriage. Which is to say slightly worse than what has become your regular morning ever since Nate's death.

This morning's additional misery, you reckon, stems partially from the past day's stress and irritating nature, and partially from spending the night in the armchair by the window, as you have left the room's beds to Miss Beauchêne and Finley. It's approximately a 30-70 split.

You stretch, slowly and deliberately, evaluating which muscles, joints or ligaments will give you the most struggle. Everything is shaping up to become another long day ahead, and if your instincts do not fool you, said day has just started.

"Are you always up this early?" someone - Miss Beauchêne you recognize after a longer moment than is reasonable- asks.

"Good morning," you respond with a trace of sourness directed rather at the pain between your shoulder blades than at the younger woman. "Yes, I am."

You push the heavy curtains aside to peer out and nod curtly. It's not long past sunrise, the town is in the process of waking up, so your instinctual assessment of the current hour has been correct.

"Granted, under normal circumstances I'd be up and about at a much earlier hour," you add, getting up and pulling hair pins from the now unruly birds nest your hair has become. On the bed Miss Beauchêne comments on the sentiment of getting up that early with a short noise of distaste and disapproval.

"Have you slept well?" you ask, as you sit down in front of the vanity mirror, ignoring that sentiment.

"I guess," Miss Beauchêne responds, sitting up from the reclining position she had been in. "It's hard to sleep after all what has happened."

You just hum in agreement, brushing out your hair. Although you recognize that Miss Beauchêne might be in the best position to understand what is commonly robbing you of a healthy sleep, you see no reason to unnecessarily involve her in your problems.

"You really didn't need to let me have the bed," Miss Beauchêne notes, as she moves to see to her own morning routine.

"Yes, I did. You needed it much more urgently, and I'm used to unorthodox sleeping places."

Miss Beauchêne gives you a quite suspicious and scrutinizing look, a trace of misplaced concern on her face.

"Fall asleep on your desk often?" she ventures, making small talk, you figure.

"More often than I would like," you humor her.

"I don't reckon overworking oneself is a healthy habit." She draws a heavy breath that gives away her next words, before a single syllable has even left her lips "Believe me, I know." "I had no intention to doubt you. But I prefer people staying out of my business."

Again Miss Beauchêne casts you a measured and measuring glance, before turning back to seeing about herself.

So do you.

It isn't until Miss Beauchêne produces a little container from her belongings that your attention is on anything but yourself.

First you only pay little attention to the object. It is reminiscent of a thumb-sized bullet cartridge and its use eludes you, until Miss Beauchêne twists the contraption's bottom, producing what looks to be a stick of beeswax out of the device, bringing it to her lips.

"That is quite an interesting thing to see," you note. Miss Beauchêne looks at you rather surprised.

"I would have thought you would know what lipstick is," she says, and you search her face for evidence of mockery. You find none.

"I do, but I was talking about the device you house it in. It is quite ingenious."

At this Miss Beauchêne's lights up into a delighted beam.

"That is too kind, ma'am. I made it myself."

"Oh?"

"Yes." There is an odd joy to be found in seeing the young woman's eyes sparkle as she breaks into an excited explanation. "I had a look into what a lipstick, or a stick of lip balm as it is in this case, could be put into to make it, well, more of a practical device. I got frustrated with the tins and jars and wax papers, it all proved to be quite impractical, a little unhygienic if one looked at it closer, and I have rather dry lips much to my dismay, so I am often in need of some sort of ointment."

"It does look a little like a bullet cartridge," you point out, and Miss Beauchêne nods.

"That's what it is. Well, originally was. What I took the inspiration from I mean. Frankford Arsenal's .45 Colt cartridges, alongside some modified glass tubes. It was quite a bit of fiddling to get the twisting mechanism to work, and since then I refined it to make it more reliable. The result is what you see here."

You arch your brows in an impressed and inquisitive arc.

"Impressive, I must say, really impressive. Patent pending, I presume."

At this Miss Beauchêne — done with applying lipbalm — closes the devise and purses her lips in dismay.

"Mrs. Meadows, with all due respect, but I believe you can guess how just [i]trying[/i] to file for a proper patent would go for people like us. For someone who happens to be a woman, and not a white one on top of that. If I'd file a patent, it's all too likely that nothing will come of it, until I am old and grey and not in any position to defend my rights, when, poof, a white man will miraculously invent the exact same device."

You roll your eyes. Not in annoyance at Miss Beauchêne, but in annoyance at a world in which these words carry far too much truth for their own good.

"And then he'd get celebrated by the press for making the lifes of those poor, feeble women so much easier with this revolutionary device," you agree, dryly and bitterly. "All while still condemning said women for using lipstick in the first place."

You both exhale tiredly and in unison.

In a strained silence the two of you finish your morning routines, and you duck behind the wooden screen nearby to change into clothes that have not been slept in.

"But, well," Miss Beauchêne picks up the hanging thread of discussion, "I still hope to live long enough to see a change for the better."

"Becoming immortal is quite an ambitious endeavour," you observe, pinning your hair up proper.

#baodc meadows #baodc spoilers

[twentyfive-takefive]

How I'm Entering 2024: Tips + Tricks I'm Implementing Next Semester and the New Year

From graduating high school to finishing my first semester of college, I'd say that a lot happened in 2023. I closed one academic chapter and started a new one, learned anything and everything I could get my grubby little hands on, and took in so many new experiences just being a student. I wouldn't trade 2023 for the wold.

At the same time, this shift left me frazzled once I was able to take a break from the hustle and grind of college. I mean, I went from a set schedule and needing to ask my parents for permission to do things from being left to my own devices in a new town for school where everything was on me to get to tomorrow. (I literally got a job on campus? And my family didn't know until I told them a month after I got it? Crazy, right?) I almost lost my sense of time when I was in school, and possibly my sanity if I'm being honest.

With 2024 being the first year with two semesters exclusively in college, let's take a list to see what I'm bringing into 2024 to bring me back to reality. From tips and tricks to mindset shifts, let's end 2023 with a bang and start 2024 on the right foot.

Having Consistent Rituals

2023 brought a lot of instability with the anxiety of college admissions, fears of graduation and the unknown that came with it, and how my life got uprooted when college came around. Let's just say, I didn't have a lot of things happen twice. I couldn't even predict what would happen next!

What brought me solace last semester were my morning and nighttime rituals. It was the consistency and accountability that I had to hold myself to within these rituals that brought me relief and calm. These signaled in my head that it was the start of my day, or to get ready for bed. I knew that was what I needed to maintain in other aspects of my life.

Now, notice how I specified that these were "rituals" and not "routines". Yes, these physical actions came out of a routine, but the routine came from the mindset that these were rituals honoring myself. These rituals honored my health, beauty, and well-being. In 2023, the only ritual I had was my skincare routines. The cleansing of my face washed off my worries of the day, and the moisturizing of my face protected me from the impurities of my environment.

Skincare was the only ritual that I had in 2023. It was my rock, knowing that me, my products, and the mirror were the only things in the world when I had them. In 2024, I'm expanding that mindset to journaling and fitness. They say your body is a temple, why not honor it when you can?

Time-Blocking

Time-blocking is the act of dividing your day into specific blocks of time. Rather than having a to-do list that expands throughout the day, each time block is designated for the tasks you set up for yourself the day before. This leaves you with time to actually do the tasks you've planned before instead of thinking of what to do on the fly and suddenly remember what you need to do.

The trick to time-blocking is figuring out the priorities of certain tasks. For a student like me, these tasks can be homework for my classes, figuring out topics for club meetings, organizing playlists and talksets for my radio show, coming up with drafts for this blog, et cetera, et cetera. With homework, there's also how to prioritize all my classes as all my classes are equally important. Should the homework that I can knock out in less than 10 or so minutes go first or last? Are there any classes that I'm not doing too well in? These are a lot of questions that need to be asked.

In 2023, I had a to-do list that forever expanded and never ended. I couldn't see myself ever finishing all my tasks, even if I did because there's always something else to do. In 2024, I'm making sure I can do what I can do to stay efficient and spare time for myself.

Romanticizing Studying

Thanks to Molly from @berry-notes for this, but romanticizing studying will be IN for 2024. I know that I personally could never romanticize studying because I knew that I'd stay distracted and find something else to do while I'm supposed to be studying. There's so many ways to romanticize studying, especially when you read her quick tips. The tips that stuck out to me were mini-vlogs, study drinks, and finding a study place.

These tips tie back into the consistent rituals that are coming with me in 2024. A study space is the physical shrine where I honor my academic talents. Study drinks are sacrifices to fuel my sessions. And mini-vlogs? Well, they're just darn fun. I love a good content session. After all, I run a studying blog for Christ's sake. In 2023, I barely studied. In fact, I don't think I did any deep work for over an hour each week. That's a bit concerning.

(Molly, if you're reading this, good luck with NYU! I hope you get in!)

2023 was a year that I think many of us would like to forget, mostly because of the defining events that came out over the years. If you ask me, 2023 is a year I'll never want to forget. I graduated high school and started college! This year brought so many adventures that I'll cherish forever. I can't wait for what's in store for 2024.

That's all I have for today. If you like what you see, follow me here, on Instagram, and X/Twitter. More blogs are on the way!

#twenty five take five #study o'clark #studyblr #studyinspo #student #university #new year's #2024 tips

[firstaidspray]

OC Interview!!

Tagged by @adelaidedrubman to do an interview for Reverie. Well, for an oc, but I chose Reverie so this is what you get.

...

"An interview? Like, for a new job?" Reverie tilts her head. "I like my job in surgery, thanks. Don't want a job on your team, much as I like hanging around your office."

House scoffs. "Hire you for my team? A nurse? Please. No, this is an interview for a campaign for Princeton-Plainsboro, something about "good publicity." Don't think you're special, I had to do one too."

Rolling her eyes, Reverie takes a seat at the table. "Yeah, 'cause you're the picture perfect example of good publicity, House. 'Kay, so where do I start?"

"Just talk to the camera like a person," Cuddy interjects, popping out from behind said device. "Don't be shy. God knows he wasn't."

Reverie inhales sharply and stares at the camera with those eerily dark, almost-black brown eyes. "Fine. Fire away."

Name: Reverie. No, I don't have a last name. So don't ask again.

Nickname: Rev, Angel, some stuff House calls me that I'd rather not repeat.

Gender: Angel. (House: not a gender!) *sighs* Fine, I'm a girl.

Star Sign: Pisces. Birthday's coming up, you know. The 25th. Just a tip.

Personality Type: The first day of nursing school, they made us do these ridiculous tests, and apparently I'm an INFP. I don't really know what any of that shit means.

Height: 5’1. 5'4 with the halo. Which Cuddy doesn't let me wear to work anymore...

Orientation: Bisexual. And before you ask me for the fiftieth time, House, I've never had a threesome. (House: you're no fun!)

Nationality/Ethnicity: Aussie born and raised, now I'm in New Jersey.

Fave Fruit: Citrus, give me anything citrus. I'll take the limes out your Corona and suck 'em. House, keep your mouth shut on that.

Fave Season: I'm assuming you mean Northern Hemisphere, since I'm living in the great state of New Jersey now. Summer. Chase takes me surfing in the summer, we go to the beach a lot. It's warm. Whatever.

Fave Flower: Everyone around me is convinced this is a subtle psychological influence from playing Metal Gear Solid 3, but star of Bethlehem. House, keep your mouth shut. You can say you're not a video game dork but the fact that you attribute my love for a damn flower to a game is kind of contradictory, no?

Fave Scent: There's this Tyler Candle scent, Diva. I wash all my clothes and sheets in it, light candles of it. I made it Chase's favorite scent, too.

Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate: FUCK HOT DRINKS.

Average Hours of Sleep: I'm a surgical assistant RN on call constantly. Answering this is like playing roulette.

Dog or Cat Person: I love all animals, so I like to say equal. I'm honestly more of a fish person, though. I keep begging Chase for a fish tank. When we get a bigger place, he says...

Dream Trip: Chase and I will return to Australia, and he'll take me diving in the Great Barrier Reef. We'll surf and comb the beach and explore parts of the country I never got to see growing up. Together.

Favorite Fictional/Real Character: Babydoll from Sucker Punch. I'd like to dress as her one day.

Number of Blankets You Sleep With: One, but Chase and I each have our own because if we try to share one I always steal it.

Random Fact: House and I race our motorcycles to work sometimes. I always beat him.

House peeks into the frame. "Okay, you may lie to the camera with cute stories about the beach and your little boyfriend, but that is one lie I will not let your smooth-talking, con artist self get away with. I have beaten you at least five times."

"They weren't lies, House. Some people are happy. And..hmm...to be fair, there was a tie once."

"A tie? A t-- no it wasn't!"

The two are about to break into an argument when Cuddy shuts off the camera and says, "Okay! That's enough! Reverie, why don't you take five and go find Chase?"

#my ocs #reverie #tag game #revchase #<- mentioned!!!!

[dungeonofthedragon]

Ttrpg Recs: my bookshelf!

I don't have that many games in physical form. But inspired by the lovely Dael Kingsmill's recent video, I want to do a little post about the ones I do own.

Animal Adventures by Steamforged Games

Animal Adventures is a third party setting for 5th edition Dungeons and Dragons. I picked up Secrets of Gullet Cove on clearance, and it's full of fun adventure hooks for a younger audience than usual for 5E. However, a member of my dnd group wants to run this at some stage, so it has a wider appeal among fans of cute critter rpgs too.

It's fairly easy to incorporate ideas from this book into your home games. A guest in my Strixhaven campaign wanted to play a character who had been transformed into a cat. The cat stats from this book fit right in with the other characters, who were all created using official 5E materials.

Fate Accelerated by Evil Hat

The first rpg I ever purchased! It's simple, streamlined, and flexible enough to run in any setting you can imagine. We'd planned to play 'card games in space' at one stage (after watching too much yu-gi-oh), and the system works as well for that as it does for urban fantasy, pirates, or magic schools. You can access the rules of this game for free at the link in the heading.

The main issue I ran into with Fate is that it uses a specialised set of dice called Fudge dice- but as long as you have a device that can download a dice app, you're good to go!

Girl By Moonlight by Evil Hat

I backed this one on Kickstarter. It's not the easiest book to navigate but, gosh, it's just so beautiful and the game is a great time once you get the hang of it! I ended up ordering five copies, because a bunch of my friends wanted the game too and Expensive International Shipping is more manageable if you split it. Tragic magical girls from the creators of Thirsty Sword Lesbians? It is just as excellent as I'd hoped.

Just the other week we played At the Brink of the Abyss using the core book and relevant one-session playkit. Transcendence is a great mechanic- players get to describe their character's unique transformation and feel powerful with the addition of new abilities! Our Midnight Quill was running around invisible for half the game. Raven's mother was knocked out with a well-flung shoe. It was very fun and very silly.

Girl By Moonlight is a Forged in the Dark game. If you're familiar with Blades in the Dark, Brinkwood, Court of Blades, or my own simplified fitd game Voidwalkers, the system is easily picked up.

Lex Arcana by Quality Games

Lex Arcana is an interesting one. It has a fascinating premise: a Roman empire that never fell, in a low-magic setting. I had a lot of fun running this as a short adventure for my classics-buff brother's birthday last year. However, the group agreed that it would be difficult to play this one long term.

This has nothing to do with the rules system, which has an enjoyable amount of crunch for those who like their games that way, but enough abstraction that running it was not a complete nightmare for a more narratively inclined GM such as myself. Rather, it was difficult for us to get past the fact that so many of its adventure modules involve you preventing indigenous populations from breaking away from the empire, often casting their spiritual views in a negative light.

I had an idea for a campaign called 'Enemies of the Empire', which involves the party having to go up against it, but we'll see if it ever comes to fruition.

Tales of Xadia by Fandom Tabletop

I love the Cortex system. I love systems that use dice pools, and my first experience with that was the Tales of Xadia playtest. I couldn't afford the full version when it released, and so I was very excited when I received it for my birthday last year in glorious hardcover!

Tales of Xadia is set in the world of the Dragon Prince (even if you're not into ttrpgs, the book is excellent for additional lore nuggets. For a year or more it was our best resource for what earthblood elves might look like.) It's a world of high magic, mages and assassins and bold warriors, imperious dragons and reclusive elves. And it's totally classless- score one for the fans of classless systems!

#tales of xadia #cortex rpg #girl by moonlight #forged in the dark #animal adventures #dungeons and dragons #lex arcana #fate rpg #fate accelerated