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#i'd seen that phrase—you can't love anyone until you love yourself—and internalised it. not just with love‚ but with everything else.
morallyambiguous
·
2 years
Text
how lucky we are that, even crushed under the weight of sadness & grief, we are capable of giving love and joy to other people, and they are often more than happy to give some back.
#i think abt this alot but when i realised you don't have to be happy to bring other people joy‚ it made life so much more bearable.
#for the longest time i thought happiness was something you could only spark in others if you experienced it‚ too.
#i'd seen that phrase—you can't love anyone until you love yourself—and internalised it. not just with love‚ but with everything else.
#i didn't feel much joy‚ love was rotted over with childhood anger & hopelessness‚ home was the body i couldn't escape from.
#i didn't understand what it meant to be cared for until i was 16 & things finally started getting better.
#but better just meant i didn't have an excuse anymore to be miserable‚ nothing distracting me from how i felt.
#it's so easy to see people in groups‚ people laughing‚ people telling jokes & see that as your goal‚ your expected‚ your norm.
#the trap 'happy people want to surround themselves w/ other happy people. they want radiant people. people for whom jokes come easy.
#they don’t want someone who is always sad‚ who brings the mood down.' is an easy one to fall into. it is not true.
#you can be sad‚ you can feel hopeless‚ you can feel unlovable‚ but it doesn't change the fact that you are necessary & wanted.
#you do not have to be happy to spread happiness to others‚ you don't need to have to feel hopeful to inspire hope in others.
#you can exist as you are & people will still love you because you are not your feelings or your perception of yourself.
#i'm still learning not to see my sadness as something unforgivable i have to repent for.
#but it's nice to know regardless of what im feeling i have the ability to make someone feel good‚ and what's a better feeling than that?
#thank u world for making humanity so wonderful & giving. kisses
#text.
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