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#i'll add it to the warnings etc
sleepsucks · 2 months
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soapyblubbles · 7 months
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⋆。˙ runaway pets ˙。⋆
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pairings: dark regulus + dark poly marauders
warnings: NON-CON, DUB-CON, implied kidnapping, threesome, implied fivesome, voyeurism, overstimulation, (light) slapping, choking, stockholm syndrome, smoking, shotgunning, pet names, etc.
a/n: please enjoy the much more comprehensive version of one of my very first works. there were a lot of inconsistencies and issues with the first version. I added a lot more detail to this and it honestly feels more like a one-shot than a drabble now. i'll add the unedited version at the bottom just incase anyone wants to take a peak. anyways, happy reading <3
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“I told you it’d be worse if you went to get help.” Regulus sits on one end of the bed, a small indulgent smile flitting across his lips. As if nothing was wrong. 
As if you weren’t being fucked within an inch of your life.
You turn your head to him, breathless pants leaving your mouth as Remus continues to rock into you. His hips slap into your own at a steady pace. How long had he been sitting there?
The air is stifling, sweat beading along your forehead and the small of your back. The arm around your waist only adds to the oppressive feeling, Remus’ strong grip keeping you upright and in place.
Your arms shake from exertion, and you have to force your hands to unclench from where they’re fisting the damp sheets.
With a whimper, you reach for Regulus, trying to find the comfort you once found in him before it all. Before he had selfishly stole you away. Before you knew of the darkness lingering just beneath the surface.
You weakly try to pry off the arm wrapped around you, but it doesn’t budge. It only tightens, pulling you up until your back hits Remus’ firm chest.
“Want sir now. Please- Remmy-” The lanky brunette ignores you, muttering something unintelligible into your neck as his thrusts speed up. Your attention was stolen from him. He doesn’t like that- not one bit.
Your face crumples at the silent dismissal, the tears you’d been holding in falling just as you reach another trembling high.
“Please, m’sorry sir- c-can we please go home now?” You gasp out. Your limbs burn, they have been for a while you suppose, but still you try to ignore it, concentrating on just Regulus for now.
But he only hums noncommittally, standing as he makes his way to the makeshift bar in the corner of the room. Regulus rubs his jaw in mock thought, scrutinizing the scene before him while he pours himself a glass of firewhiskey. The smell of cinnamon saturates the air, adding to the heavy atmosphere.
“Thought you wanted to come here-“ He gestures around the room, lazily draping himself on the nearby armchair. “For help.” The last word is said with a sneer and laced with so much venom that you balk.
Even though you can tell he’s done arguing about it, you still sob out: “I’ll be good- promise.”
You hear Sirius let out a scoff. He’s leaning against the headboard, his shirt unbuttoned and a lit cigarette in hand, doing nothing but watching as his friends ruin you.
He’d been the one to call Regulus when you came running to their house, barefoot and in nothing but a frail, white nightgown. “You’re already being good here, pup- s’no use in leaving.” He makes his way towards you, squishing your cheeks together, your lips forming an o-shape.
He blows smoke into your mouth, smirking when you cough at the burn. “Y’already gonna be punished anyway, might as well do that here- ain’t that right Reggie?”
Regulus rolls his eyes, breaking his normally composed demeanor. “Don’t call me-”
“Hush, I can’t focus when you lot keep talkin.” James' speech is slurred as he speaks up, moving his head slightly from between your legs. He pays no mind to the way Remus pumps in and out of you. His mouth is so close to where the two of you meet that you can feel his cool breath against your clit as he talks.
“S’annoying.”  
You clench around Remus at the feeling, and the man in question groans, giving you a particularly rough thrust.
James goes back to work at that, humming softly as he drinks in yours and Remus’ juices. You let out a another strangled moan, instinctively trying to tilt your hips away.
Instantly Sirius’ face darkens with anger, “Uh-uh, I don’t think so puppy.” A hand shoots out to grab the base of your neck as James’ hands grip the front of your thighs tightly.
“Don’t fuckin’ run away from him- you understand?” 
You nod shakily, chest rising and falling quickly as you watch him with unseeing eyes.
“Just take it like a good girl, princess.” James cooes, lightly nibbling on the inside of your thigh. You let out a startled yelp.
“What d’you say bunny?” Remus asks from behind you, hips slowing as he tries to find that spot. Trying to coax the words out of you. You whine, unable to answer until Sirius gingerly slaps your cheek, raising a sharp brow at you.
“M’sorry- m’so sorry Jamie.” Your head is spinning, an ache growing until it becomes practically mind numbing.
At this point it’s all you can focus on.
“Thought I taught you better than that pet.” Regulus chides, clicking his tongue in disappointment. He looks only slightly more disheveled than before. His hair is not neatly combed back like it was earlier, and his tie considerably loosened. His fingers dig into the cushioned arms of the chair, the veins in his forearms flexing in a way that makes your mouth water.
You lick your lips. “Sir-”
Remus shushes you. “S’ okay bunny- y’just have to make it up to him.” You cry out as he brushes against your g-spot, finally finding what he’s been looking for this whole time.
Each hit of his hips is aimed perfectly, giving you no room to breathe until you’re a gasping mess.
James’ mouth certainly doesn’t help. His warm tongue suckles at your clit, unrelenting as he brings you to that exhilarating peak over and over again.
Eventually he breaks away, wiping the wetness around his mouth with the back of his hand. A feral grin forms as he pushes the hair away from your face, cupping your teary cheeks. “That wasn’t so bad now was it? You can take a little more, right?”
Sirius answers before you can even think to open your mouth, a mocking frown on his face. “I don’t know about that Prongs- she seems a right mess already, huh? Don’t think she can go on.” He slaps between your legs, and a panicked moan startles its way out of you. 
You quickly come undone, so worked up from before, but the torment doesn’t end there.
“I think you're right, Pads.” James murmurs, as he slips his fingers through the mess of your cunt, the tips of his fingers grazing the base of Remus’ cock.
It’s enough to startle a groan out of him.
Sirius grabs onto your hips, reaching around James to take control of the even pace Remus set. “C’mon pup, make a mess on Moony’s cock- be a good little cockslut for us.”
He bounces you viscously atop Remus, everyone watching intently as you become a drooling mess.
Your set your lidded gaze on Regulus, whose self-control looks like it’s seconds away from snapping. 
Yet he makes no move to stop the situation.
“Come on princess- fuckin’ come for us. Make a fucking mess.” James growls into your ear, pinching your clit roughly. Tears well in your eyes, body tensing as you are, yet again, pushed off the edge.
“Fuck- such a good bunny.” Remus curses. 
Sirius and James mock your high pitched cries, taking a sadistic pleasure in watching you sob at the overstimulation.
Your limbs go slack, Remus panting heavily as he fucks you through it all, his breath fanning against your neck. He kisses your temple softly and you whine, barely able to move, even as the aftershocks flow through you. 
The three continue to overstimulate you, and Remus lets out a breathy chuckle when Sirius lets go of your hips, letting you fall face first into James’ chest.
“S’your turn princess. We’re not doing all the work for you- besides you still have three more cocks to go.”
☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾
UNEDITED VERSION
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saintobio · 23 hours
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sincerely yours. (10)
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↳ gojou satoru/reader
when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after. 
genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+ 
tags/warnings. depression, intoxication, trauma, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationships,
notes. important announcement ! as you all know, this series has always had an extensive approach into detailing the events in its side stories (ie. sera x sukuna x naoya, yuuji x megumi, maki x yuuta x miwa, etc), but while writing the chapters, the word count and the plot building had become too exhausting for me to produce consistently, esp with the amount of scenes and side stories i was introducing to the story, so i've decided it's best for me to stick to the main characters, reader & gojo, and will only add side stories as necessary. this really hurts me knowing that i can't achieve the level of comprehensive writing and world building that i did for sincerely not, but i really want to finish sy as soon as possible and removing a chunk of side stories would be some of the things that'd help me achieve that 😭 i hope you guys understand. hopefully i'll figure out a way to write those side stories instead of completely abandoning them mid-way in this series. but as always, thanks for ur continued support <3
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series masterlist -> episode eleven
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“It’s a little weird.”
What was supposed to be her bed time had turned into a moment of reflection for Sera who, instead of being fast asleep at this time of the night, had unconsciously brought herself inside Sukuna’s home office to join the up-and-coming tech mogul in his late-night programming. 
She wore her silk pajamas, pacing back and forth in her boyfriend’s office as her mind flew back to the recent encounter she had with her ex-boyfriend. Who knew that Satoru’s kid would look just like a carbon copy of him? No, actually, the question should be: who knew it would be a different woman by his side acting as the mother of his child? Sera had to laugh at herself, shaking her head as she realized how truly and undeniably ridiculous her ex was. It was clear that day that he wasn’t really as loyal of a partner as he claimed himself to be. 
Did he really just go through all those crazy things with you, only to look like a whore-hopping fool now? 
If he was bound to end up with someone else other than you, then why did he have to make Sera’s life miserable in the first place? 
She may have done terrible things before as a selfish and materialistic lover of his, but that wouldn’t change the fact that Satoru also contributed to her role as the side-piece in his marital relationship. He allowed her to cling to him like a mistress. Being his side-piece wasn’t even something that she had forced upon him. It was his promise, an idea that he planted on Sera’s head, saying that she would need to stay by his side and that he would marry her guaranteed that he had already secured the merger and divorced you. He swore like a fool that he would divorce you. But guess what? The jerk ended up falling in love with his wife and suddenly had no use of Sera. Suddenly, he was such a good husband who couldn’t be more loyal. Suddenly, he was a lovestruck man who had always been in love with his childhood friend. If he had downright dumped Sera the moment his engagement was announced, if he had not been prideful and ambitious since the beginning of his marriage, he probably would have had better luck at having that healthy relationship he yearned from you. 
But how come the blame of being the third-party was all on Sera when her only mistake then was loving the person who promised her all the good things in life? 
Now, you see, this was all just bitterness brewing at the back of her head. She knew what she did was still wrong and that she wasn’t innocent. Sera swore to herself that she would never look back on those awful days ever again, but seeing how Satoru was running around freely with a different woman just reminded Sera of his days as a spiteful, two-timing man. Somehow, it felt like he had changed and yet didn’t at all. 
Ha ha ha. How ridiculous was that? 
“What’s funny?” asked Sukuna, her present boyfriend and thankfully so. He was Sera’s blessing, because she never would have thought that a man like him could still exist in a world full of Satoru’s and Naoya’s. “You look cute smiling to yourself, though.”
“I know,” she responded to the compliment, shifting to settle herself on his lap, though his attention remained fixed on his laptop screen. “It's just strange to me,” she continued, her voice thoughtful, “how Gojou appears his usual self, yet there's something off about him.”
The question clouded Sukuna’s eyes in confusion, tilting his head to the side as he tried to comprehend her description. “You mean dude got uglier?”
I wish, Sera thought. “No, he’s… he’s different. The vibes are different. For a second, he even looked like he was dissociating the whole time he was with that girl,” she said, referring to Satoru’s new girl as though she was your cheap alternative, “But then again, why is he with her in the first place if he looks absent-minded the whole time, you know what I mean?” 
“Was he like that with you before?” 
“At times, but it’s not like the way he’s acting right now… I don’t know, I can’t explain it. The energy is off. That’s just not how he acts when he’s really, really into someone.”
To be honest, Sukuna didn’t give a damn about Satoru Gojou’s life and any normal boyfriend wouldn’t really like hearing their girlfriend talking about another man, especially her ex at that, but he knew Sera found joy in old money gossip and he was aware of the demoralizing past she has had by associating herself with them. Sukuna was acting all engaged in their conversation because he wanted to make her feel heard and that he shared her simple joys in life. Besides, it was through her that he learned so many inside scoops about the people that ran the country’s biggest conglomerates. It was like watching one heck of a messy episode of Dynasty. 
“Didn’t he get into a car accident?” he recalled, remembering the headlines on the news that day, “Then, we saw him at the expo and he couldn’t really remember you. The guy’s probably got his head all messed up.” 
Sera was bitter at the time thinking that Satoru was toying with her when he asked who she was, when the truth was, he was actually diagnosed with amnesia. It was such a shock to her, truthfully, because having amnesia felt like something you would only see on a movie’s screen. Well, in that case, she could also say karma’s a bitch. The director might be onto something here.
“He’s probably not mentally fine, but still…” she thought carefully and played the scene in her head again. What was it about the Gojou that she saw the other day that was different? “He just has a different vibe to him that it feels uncomfortable. It’s like he’s rude, but not so rude? He doesn’t have much of a personality anymore. Like a complete stranger.”
“Maybe it’s the new girl rubbing off on him.” Sukuna was back to typing on his laptop as he said that. Frankly, he was just saying anything at this point. 
Sera shook her head in response. “Well, I don’t know about that girl he’s seeing and I don’t really care, but it’s common knowledge to the filthy rich that she’s Y/N’s best friend. That’s why I recognized her right away, and that’s why it disgusted me,” she pressed on, “Tell me, would you—and be honest about this—would you fuck your best friend’s ex?” 
The humor on her boyfriend’s face came right as she asked that. “Babe, you fucked a married man. It’s worse than fucking somebody’s ex.” 
“Shut up.” Rolling her eyes, she got up from his lap and sighed, but Sukuna wasted no time in pulling her back onto his lap. His chuckle was mingling with the gentle kiss he had planted on her cheek, unaware that his actions made Sera’s heart flutter. “Forget it. I shouldn’t even be talking about Satoru with you.”
The man stretched his arms and finally closed his laptop, patting Sera’s thigh afterwards. “On that note, I do have another ‘dude from your past’ that I gotta meet tomorrow.” 
Her reaction alone was a response for him. “Naoya?” she protested, face contorting with disgust. “What for? I told you not to take on that project.”
“Yeah, I considered it, and you know, the partnership could really benefit CleaveTech,” Sukuna reasoned, leaning back as he outlined the situation to her from a business standpoint. Given her own background working for the Gojou Group before, he expected her to grasp the significance of this partnership and set aside any personal grievances or emotional attachments. “The Zen'in Group is a major client. It’s all pros and no cons here.”
“The contra is the guy you’re gonna work with,” she highlighted with a hint of annoyance rising from her throat, “Naoya is nothing but an opportunistic motherfucker. Mind you, he’s a stupid elitist, too.” 
He held back a laugh, not even threatened by a man who had a terrible history with his girlfriend. “Nah, I’ll deal with him. Just trust me on this.” 
As much as Sera wanted to object, she knew Sukuna had a point and that she really shouldn’t hinder his company from being partnered with such a large conglomerate. She just didn’t like the thought of her boyfriend being around a man who manipulated and humiliated her to the point where she had been blacklisted by multiple companies, leaving her to resort to being somewhat of a prostitute just to make ends meet. 
The world was harsh for the not-so-rich, and all Sera wanted was to give those upper class people a taste of their own medicine. But seeing as her desire for revenge would clash with her boyfriend’s chance at company growth, she had to set aside her personal grudge and support him on this one.  
Still, there was nothing wrong with being curious. “Is there any other reason you agreed to this partnership?”
Sukuna smirked as if he expected that question from her. “Blame it on my little brother, he’s been bugging me ‘bout it.”
“Yuuji?” Sera asked, clearly confused. 
To which her boyfriend quickly answered, “Yeah. He said it’ll give him an opportunity to work with his best friend. You know that kid, Fushiguro, right?” 
Ahh. Toji’s kid aka the heir to the Zen’in business empire. Sera had met Megumi before, and while that other brat Mai used to be unreasonably rude to her, the younger boy was always civil and respectful at least. He never even once treated Sera like dirt when she was spending time with Naoya at their mansion. Perhaps their upbringing really differed because he was raised by Toji and the other Zen’ins were raised by demons. 
Nevertheless, with a connection now established between Sukuna and Naoya through Yuuji and Megumi, Sera couldn’t help but feel that her peaceful days as a nouveau riche were about to become far more intriguing. Depending on the cards she would choose to play, they could even turn into a living nightmare. 
— —
You weren’t exactly abandoning your company; you were merely taking a break, a necessary pause given your current mental state after the whole break-up with Toji and the Osaka thing. Your mind was just too overwhelmingly occupied to even properly function. Each day, mustering the energy to show up at Hearte's head office became increasingly challenging, especially when faced with individuals who relied on you for major decisions and creative direction. 
To make matters worse, Akemi’s sudden resignation hit hard.
You received her decision by a simple letter, a mere piece of paper, without even having the guts and decency to meet with you in person. Was she scared? Or was this her way of rubbing salt on the wound, shoving it in your face that she was now taking things to the next level with your ex-husband? 
She did cite in her resignation letter that her reason for resigning from the role was due to conflict of interest. You wanted to laugh when you read that part. No, you wanted to choke in your fit of laughter after reading through her asinine reasons. She could have been upfront and mentioned that the so-called ‘conflict’ was the very man her best friend had previously married. 
Obviously, everyone in the office felt sad knowing that a core member of the company left without at least a 30-day notice, but they were all also aware that her resignation was due to personal albeit controversial reasons. Did Akemi not care about her image at all? The same colleagues she had trained, managed, and collaborated with would now likely gossip about her behind her back. She would become a hot topic of disrespect among the people that once heavily respected her. Did she also not care about the company you two created together anymore? This was the same company you two had passionately dreamed of during your late-night conversations on a New York rooftop. She was the one who wanted to build a fashion house together with you.
Yet, it seemed she was willing to throw it all away for a man already entangled in complicated familial dynamics. Her immediate resignation and refusal to speak to you in person just further confirmed it to you that Akemi was willing to forsake your friendship by choosing a man who already had a child with someone else. 
Since she chose that path, you couldn’t help but interpret Akemi’s actions as a deliberate slight against your friendship. It seemed clear that she no longer viewed you as a friend and was essentially cutting ties with you. Otherwise, why would she take such a step? Akemi wasn’t the type to be vindictive; she likely believed she was sparing you further pain by severing your connection. However, regardless of her intentions, her actions felt deeply disrespectful and hurtful.
If this was what she wanted, then kudos to her and her unbelievable confidence to choose a man like Satoru Gojou. Besides, it didn’t even take you a week to find another replacement. Your family connections were powerful after all. You readily had a pool of potential candidates for the role of the Head of Sales, Retail, and Merchandising—all from prestigious backgrounds and unparalleled expertise. While the competition was tough, you selected the person you deemed was the most qualified to be your second-in-command. This was someone you had esteemed since college, a person who excelled in both business acumen and creative vision.
Yuki Tsukumo. She was influential in every sense, and you trusted that she would be able to manage the high pressure environment of a start-up fashion house and transform it into an iconic brand, a household name that would one day rival Chanel and Miu Miu. 
You may have succeeded in replacing Akemi. You may have shown her that her position in the workforce was easily replaceable, but her role as your friend still left a lingering, repugnant mark that proved far more difficult to erase. This underlying sentiment could explain the unreasonable anger festering in your heart—a visceral reaction born from feelings of backstabbing betrayal. 
It was hard enough for you to travel all the way to Osaka with a broken heart, but it became much more agonizing to watch your own son run up to Akemi like she was his mother. It was a goddamn slap to your face, indeed, to see that your ex-husband had already chosen a woman to have his happy, little family with. That he wanted to be a good man and be everything you wished for in a husband for her. 
As they say, nothing hurts more than building a man for another woman. 
And honestly? You cried so much on the way home that you became numb. Now, you were just trying to get over it. You were trying to bury the searing pain in order to forget the betrayal you felt. It was all too much for a person to handle and it wasn’t like you hadn’t gone through the same old shit before. Wasn’t it worse before with Satoru actually cheating and all? He technically wasn’t crossing any lines here, so it shouldn’t hurt you. It shouldn’t. You had been here before. If you had managed to get through such an awful time as his previous wife, his relationship with Akemi shouldn’t be too hard to accept. No, you weren’t trying to lowball your pain, but it was better to be an optimist in this situation than be a suicidal, self-destructive person. You had a business to run and a child to raise. You had to be strong. 
Or at least, that was what you told yourself. That was what you had been telling yourself over and over, each time you got up from bed forcing yourself to have a false positive mindset. In fact, that was also why you had to take this extended break because you had to have your peace of mind. You had to have some form of release to remember why you needed to stay alive and keep yourself going.
Not just for Sachiro’s sake, but also for your own. 
Your safe haven for now was at the horse ranch, where the tranquility of riding and the beauty of nature provided the perfect ambiance for reflection. How long has it been since your last visit to Willow? Your father had been joking that you shouldn’t be leaving a beautiful, white Friesian horse unattended for years, especially not for the expensive price he paid her for. True enough, because the moment you saw the mare again, you almost forgot how majestic she was for her breed. Willow was a completely docile and graceful horse, so alike to you in many ways. However, one thing that was unlike you, was that she lived in peace, existing solely for herself and not for anyone else.
If only you could be like her. 
As you reached out to stroke your rare-breed horse, a new and unfamiliar stallion in the stable caught your eye. To think of it, your family shared this equestrian estate with the Gojou family. This realization meant that the strikingly elegant and tall gray horse in the adjacent stall belonged to none other than Satoru.
“It’s a Thoroughbred,” the equine caretaker informed while guiding your horse out of the stable, “Mr. Satoru got him recently and named him Six.” 
A gray Thoroughbred, renowned as the most expensive horse breeds out there. It could fetch a price as high as $70 million, and of course, Satoru was the perfect owner for such a prestigious horse. The stallion embodied his essence completely—its color, its build, its rarity. On the other hand, you couldn’t help but find his naming convention by number a bit odd. His previous black stallion was named Eight. This time around, it was Six. Couldn’t he be more imaginative?
“He’s beautiful,” you mumbled, nonetheless, in awe with the regality of the horse. 
“He’s a good boy, too,” added the enthusiastic horsekeeper in a thick country accent, “Mr. Satoru was here yesterday and played polo while riding him. They were perfectly in sync even if it was his first time riding him.”
Of course, he would play polo. That was one of his favorite recreational sports. The burning question at hand was, who was with him during his visit? Because if the caretaker mentioned Akemi, you would certainly lose it. This was your private space with him. This estate was a place that none of his other women had access to, not even Sera. This was a location filled with memories from your childhood. For him to bring another woman here would be crossing the damn line. 
“Did he bring anyone with him?” you asked, trying to sound casual as you dusted off your boots. 
The caretaker denied. “No, he was alone. He just came to play polo and check the horses he recently bought.” 
Oh… “He bought more than one?” 
Did he seriously get Akemi her own horse? Your heart was racing at the thought, but the caretaker led you to the stable near the exit to show you the other horse than your ex-husband had purchased. It was a brown Shetland pony. 
“He got a fully trained Shetland for your son,” the horsekeeper proudly declared, showcasing the pony as if he had been instructed to do so in anticipation of your visit. It was obvious that Gojou had already briefed him on introducing Sachiro’s new pony to you because he knew you would be asking about it. “His name is Elmo. He is kid-safe and very friendly.”
Frankly, you wanted to sigh in relief, but at the same time, it warmed your heart to know that Satoru got his son his own horse at such a young age. You could already sense him planning to make Sachiro take equestrian classes when he gets older, and probably join him on his horseback riding sessions, too. You could imagine just how perfect it would be to see the father and son bonding here, racing together, playing polo together… yet it would not be you who would be watching them on the side.  
This future he was setting up with his son would be an experience he would share with Akemi. 
There was no you in that vision anymore. 
The caretaker likely questioned your sanity when he noticed the bitter smile on your face as you mounted your mare. He might have even doubted whether you were sane enough to ride alone, without a guide, particularly through the woods since Willow had not been ridden for some time now. However, you had done it countless times before and were quite familiar with the trail, and so you dismissed his offer to lead you and assured him confidently that you knew your way back.
You needed this solitude. You craved this moment of peace, alone with your thoughts and surrounded by nature, to reflect on the ceaseless torture of your life. It was just never-ending, squeezing every drop of happiness out of your system to make sure that you would only live to suffer. You really thought you had your happy ending with someone else? You actually believed you had found the perfect man to be your actual husband? 
Well, unfortunately for you, Toji was not the one. 
At first, your mind flew to Toji as you went on to the trail, allowing the mare to continue trotting as you held the reins to control her. You remembered Toji’s text that morning, asking you for the hundredth time if he could meet with you. He likely wanted to apologize in person, but you doubted he would change his mind and take back the things he said. Because they were true. He could never fill the void left by his deceased wife by being with another empty soul. It was painfully, unmistakably true. You were better off dead if that was the case, because even if you did end up marrying him, you would never be regarded as the person he loved the most. After all, your role in this world seemed to always be the second option. You were never the first in other people’s books. Not with your ex-husband. Not even with your family, especially with Gen around. You were meant to be a bystander, watching others live their perfect lives while you were forced to be in your misery. Someone like Toji would not have a guaranteed blissful marriage with you and you had to spare him from that. You had to draw the line and step back from this charade that you were playing with him, knowing that you were never the right person to be with him, so at some point, you had to accept his drunken words. They came from a place of truth, and that truth would set the both of you free. 
Even it hurt. Even if it fucking hurt to hear his words. You couldn’t deny them. 
You could easily forgive him, but his words might take a while for you to forget because even thinking about it now was bringing a wave of pain into your chest. You didn’t even notice that you were losing control on Willow’s reins by the time you entered further into the woods, bouncing on the saddle as you galloped along the challenging path. With the speed you were riding right now, inexperienced riders would certainly find it unsafe and scary. But for you? It was just what you needed. The breeze of fresh air, the thrill of riding alone, the peaceful sound of nature—you could die there and be at your happiest. 
Maybe that was where you had to be; to disappear and leave them all behind. Wouldn’t that be best for everyone? If you were to vanish, they could finally be free. Your presence, even from the beginning, was a burden for everyone—for your dad, Gen, Satoru, Toji, and even Akemi. The people you trusted the most would be the same people who would secretly celebrate your demise. So, what else was hindering you from taking matters into your own hands and ending it all yourself?
“Giddy up!” 
Was it Sachiro? Definitely. But now he had his father, and he was likely starting to see Akemi as a mother figure as well. Your role as his beloved mama could be easily replaced if you were to leave him now. It wouldn’t hurt him as much that way. Three years with Sachiro seemed sufficient enough, and he was at an age where he could grow up alongside his father. In this short span, he would have lasting memories with you, yet not enough to deeply grieve your absence. He was a young child, surrounded by people who would offer the whole world to him. At least, for that, you were eternally grateful. It brought you comfort knowing that your son would have support after you were gone, and that he would find a mother figure in Akemi. Given the brief time he spent with you and the rest of his life with her as his stepmother, Sachiro would likely come to love and accept Akemi as his own mother. This was the best outcome you could hope for.
My child, my son, my baby… please don’t get mad at mommy. 
Tears were gushing out of your eyes and you hadn’t even realized it until they started blurring your vision. You were far too lost in your own thoughts, unaware that you were now in an unfamiliar and seemingly dangerous part of the trail. The path was getting a little bit too steep and poor Willow was clearly stressed at your inconsiderate handling. There were multiple obstacles on your rocky terrain and you weren’t as steady and controlled as you wanted to be because the horse wasn’t comfortable navigating such a difficult path with the pace you were forcing her to.  
“Ah!” 
Your attempt to balance was interrupted by Willow’s loud neigh, signaling her distress before she bolted into a full rampage. She was sprinting at an estimated speed of 20 miles per hour. Not even a skilled rider like Satoru himself would be cantering that fast on unfamiliar terrain and an unfit horse. But you, you clearly had a death wish, because instead of fearing for your own life, you were far more concerned at the thought of how dreamy Satoru and Akemi’s wedding would look like after your demise. They would definitely make Sachiro their ringbearer. Suguru would be the best man. Shoko, the maid of honor. People on the internet would praise them for being an attractive couple. They would anticipate their beautiful kids together, living in the same mansion he bought as a gift to you. He would kiss her good night, tell her loves her, and offer the whole world to her. They would exchange vows and promise themselves a lifelong commitment to be by each other’s side through sickness and in health, and only in death would they part. 
“Willow!” 
You let out a shriek as the reins slipped from your grasp, causing you to tumble off the saddle and crash onto the ground. The impact was first felt in your elbow, and a sharp, searing pain then radiated through your body. There you lay, sprawled on the dirt, helplessly watching Willow galloping out of control up the mountain, and then tragically plummeting off a cliff.
“Nooo! Willow, no!”
Utter hysteria overtook you. You sobbed uncontrollably, unable to determine which pain was more agonizing—the clearly broken elbow, the loss of the horse you had inadvertently led to its death, or the heart-wrenching reality of Satoru starting a family with someone else.
You were pathetic. You were such a pathetic excuse of a human being and this was why you deserve hell. 
“Willow!” 
Toji couldn’t love you. Your own son didn’t want to be around you. Satoru had gotten over you. And now, you drove a poor innocent horse to its demise because of your recklessness! 
You were crying hysterically as you held your pained elbow, crawling by the cliff’s edge as you screamed for your horse’s name, but in the end, there was nothing you could do. You could only apologize to poor Willow for having such an irresponsible owner, and now she was dead because of you. 16 years of her life, she was able to live in peace until you came and ruined it all for her. It should have been you. You were the one who should have jumped off a cliff. You should atone for your sins and follow her, but you were too weak, far to overcome by the excruciating pain on your hip and your broken elbow to move or do anything at all. 
That was, until your mind had completely shut down, leaving you as a mere body to be discarded alone in the darkness of the woods. You hoped that no one else would find you soon. 
— —
“A-Angina?” Satoru’s eyes went wide. His whole world stopped before him.
“Yes. She was diagnosed with stable angina,” Dr. Mori confirmed, much to your husband’s horror. “But there is another factor that requires her to have more rest. You need to take good care of your wife, Mr. Gojou. Her body needs a lot of nutrients so she can carry safely.”
He could barely process the whole thing in his head because the news kept coming one after another, leaving him in a befuddled state with a flood of unanswered questions running through his mind. “What do you mean…?”
“Your wife is seven weeks pregnant.”
“Y/N?”
“Y/N!”
“Are you out of your mind?!” 
You could barely pry your eyes open, but when you finally managed to, you were met with the concerned expression on Gen’s face. The harsh glare of fluorescent lights and the antiseptic scent confirmed to you that you were in the ER, likely an hour or two after the incident in the woods. The memory of the trail quickly flooded your thoughts, and a pang of sorrow gripped your heart as you recalled Willow's final moments before she fell off the cliff. The poor horse had lost her life, while the one responsible for her tragic death remained alive, save for the bandage wrapped around your arm.
“Why did you ride into the woods alone?” Gen persisted with her barrage of questions, standing by your bed as you attempted to sit up. “Are you suicidal or what? Riding your horse in a dangerous trail like that—”
“You know what, maybe I should have just died back there!” you snapped, wincing from the pain in your elbow. Her choice of words struck a nerve in you. “Maybe I’d prefer that over sitting here, listening to your sanctimonious lecture like you're so perfect yourself! How obnoxious.”
“Then, maybe you shouldn’t be riding so recklessly and causing alarm to everyone else!” 
“Did I literally ask you to come save me?!” 
The atmosphere around you two just became even more uninviting, with discomfiting silence seeping through as you and Gen were engaged in a sharp glaring contest. Your father stood behind her, clearing his throat to cut the tension. 
“That’s enough, Gen.” Your dad placed a hand on her shoulder, and although she wanted to protest, she knew better not to keep stirring the pot after receiving his strict gaze. “Let’s just be thankful your sister is safe. There’s no need to be so overwhelming.” 
You rolled your eyes, drawing in a deep breath before you looked away from them. None of them would ever understand your pain unless they were in your position. They didn’t carry the same baggage as you, so they would never fully comprehend the weight of your suffering. You had already dealt with similar pain on your own before and that was why you didn’t need any of them to come to your aid, meddling with your life like they knew exactly what you were going through. “Just leave me alone, you guys. I wanna rest.”
Since when did your relationship with your sister start to get rough? It wasn’t really like this before, but ever since she started to become too overprotective over you and your choices in life, particularly choices linked to Satoru, Gen had started to become insufferable in your eyes. She was acting too much like a mother; controlling your decisions, lecturing you about your personal relationships, being too involved with your private life. There, ever since that, you started to distance yourself from her, and she didn’t like that. Her stubbornness wouldn’t allow her to cease acting like this mature, picture perfect big sister to you. 
With that said, Gen would have normally gotten annoyed when you asked them to leave you alone, but this time around, she seemed to have reflected on her insensitivity a lot better with your father around. “I’m sorry, okay?” she said, her tone still tinged with stubbornness, “I just got worried. I don’t know what’s gotten into you to put yourself in danger like that, but… please, Y/N. If you’re going through something, you can always speak to us. Dad and I, we’re here for you.” 
To be fair, if you had to put yourself in their shoes, it really would have been alarming to know that your sister almost died. This wasn’t the first time you were at death’s door either, so they were probably scared shitless when they were informed of your situation. Your absolutely reckless situation. You didn’t mean to cause a scene, neither did you intend to bother them on their already busy schedules. You just had so many things in your mind while you were horseback riding, too engulfed by your own sorrow that you didn’t realize the repercussions after the incident had already taken place. 
“I’m sorry, too.” Your voice softened with humility. “I didn’t mean to worry you guys. It was just really an accident.” 
Of course, Gen suspected it was more than just an accident. Your dad did, too. It was obvious on their forlorn faces that they were worried for your mental and emotional well-being, but none of them dared address the elephant in the room. It seemed they didn’t need to, anyway, since one of the many reasons that contributed to your earlier breakdown took a peek from behind the curtains, clearing his throat and sending you a look of sympathy. 
“Y/N?” Toji looked at your father and your sister for approval before stepping further inside your space in the ER. “Can I talk to you?” 
There was no escaping Toji’s presence anymore. No more hiding, no more avoiding. You knew you had to have this talk with him no matter how many times you ignored his flood of texts and calls. While this may have struck as an opportune moment for him to speak to you in person, facing the painful truth of your situation weighed heavily on you. Besides, hadn’t the irony presented itself right there? If Satoru were the one trying to speak to you, even if he was the father of your child, Gen would have been quick to lash out at him. Yet with Toji, even with the general knowledge of what had transpired between you two, your sister still showed no hostility towards him, allowing him to approach you freely and without interference.
But then again, Toji was far from being a cheating, manipulative scumbag who not only caused you suffering but also sought to selfishly acquire your family’s company. Therefore, he wasn’t considered a threat. 
Alright, then. Since Toji genuinely wasn’t a threat to your current emotional state, you agreed to talk with him. It was the first time you had seen the not-so-confident side of Toji Zen’in. He was typically a man of virtue, often holding his chin high, offering the best advice, and having insightful perspectives on life. However, it seemed you had shattered that confidence in him. You could sense his cautiousness around you as he stood by your side in the ER, assisting you with your needs, and eventually agreeing to your request to walk you to the rooftop garden.
“I don’t really think there’s anything else we should talk about.” It was you who first broke the silence, staring at the cityscape while sitting on a wheelchair. The calm breeze allowed your mind to seize the moment with a peaceful mind. “I already heard what you had to say.” 
Toji found it better to kneel down in front of you to meet your eyes as he spoke to you in a sincere and earnest voice. “Y/N, I was drunk when I said all that shit back there. I didn’t mean them. I didn’t mean to hurt you with my callous words, and I feel awful that you had to hear them from me. You trusted me. You sought comfort from me. I wasn’t thinking like a normal person when those things came out of my mouth.” 
“That doesn’t mean they weren’t true,” you replied with quiet resignation. It was the acceptance in your face that seemed to have caused Toji’s heartbroken gaze. “It’s okay, Toji. I think, when you said all those things, it actually made me realize some aspects of our relationship that had to be addressed. It made me more self-aware and it opened my eyes on the bigger picture.” You touched his hand, giving it a comforting squeeze as you mustered the courage to speak your next words. “It’s for the best that we part ways. It’s not fair to me to become a placeholder for your wife the same way it isn’t fair to you to have to deal with my ex-husband always being present in my life. Our unresolved feelings won’t really be resolved by being together.”
“Y/N…” Toji’s voice hinted at his vulnerable emotions, though he restrained himself from showing it fully. And you didn’t miss the apologetic look he had presented to you. “Despite all that, I hope you know that I’d been true to you. I do love you and will always love you. I’ll always be someone you can rely on, someone you can seek comfort from, someone you can turn to when you need help…” 
Damn it. Why did he have to make it sound like an actual break up? Now, it tugged at your heartstrings and hit you in a place it shouldn’t have. You weren’t good at these things and it certainly was your first time dealing with such a mature and mutual separation, but wasn’t that a good thing? No further drama was to happen, leaving a stark comparison to your separation with Satoru. While this one didn’t hurt as much, it still brought a hollow feeling in your chest. 
“Same for me,” you agreed, displaying a weak smile. “You’ll always have a spot in my heart, Toji. I’ll always be grateful that I met you.” 
Sometimes, two people didn’t need to be together to love each other. Friendships could still thrive between ex-lovers, and that was why closure was so important. It not only closed a certain chapter of your life in a healthy way, but also allowed you to heal and open yourselves to a new beginning without any bitterness left behind. 
It shouldn’t be considered bad to remain friends with an ex. It also shouldn’t be bad to give a parting kiss from said ex, right? 
You weren’t the one who initiated it, after all. It was Toji’s hand that gently stroked your cheek. It was him, who leaned forward and pressed his lips onto yours. It wasn’t forceful, but neither was it passionate. It was simply a tender kiss of goodbye, feeling the warmth of each other’s lips for one last time before you two would transition from being lovers to friends. What you didn’t understand from this supposedly bittersweet moment was the faint tears that somehow managed to escape your eyes, perhaps because you knew that once Toji left, you would be alone again. 
You had no one by your side to love you, cherish you, choose you, and offer their entire world for you. You were meant to live this cruel world all by yourself. 
As he pulled away, he pressed his forehead against yours. “Please learn to love yourself before anyone else, Y/N. It’s what you need and what you deserve.” 
That night, while you were getting your MRI, your mind kept flying to the possibilities of a future without having anyone by your side. Any normal person would tell you to focus on loving yourself first, as Toji did recently, focusing on what matters most, and ridding yourself of the toxic things that hinder you from moving forward with your life. Things weren’t as easy as they sounded. Besides, it was different being on the receiving end of the said advice. How could you do those things when the primary cause of your pain was someone whose life would always be linked to yours forever? 
Based on the result of your MRI scans, your doctor recommended that you undergo elbow arthroscopy. It was just a minimally invasive procedure compared to open surgeries, but considering how much of an overthinker your dad was when it came to your health, he insisted on your confinement at the hospital until you had been completely cleared of any other issues. He really placed a big deal on your condition and emphasized to the doctors that they make sure nothing was missed. It could have been worse; you could have had a broken hip or a fractured leg, but at least you only had a dislocated elbow. Nothing that couldn’t be easily corrected by surgery and physical therapy. 
The decision was for you to stay there for two days, and on your first night, a crying Sachiro ran inside your private room because his ‘mama has a boo boo’. Gen said he was picked up from daycare and dropped off at the hospital because the poor kid was looking for you. She didn’t mention who dropped your son off to you, but you could tell it was Satoru. You could sense it by the glances she exchanged with Ian after you asked how Sachiro came to the hospital. 
So, in that case, Satoru must have found out about your little incident and didn’t care enough to see you. Did he not even have an ounce of care anymore? Or was it Gen who stopped him from seeing you? 
“Did you ask him to leave?” you confronted Gen in a mellow voice, rubbing Sachiro’s back as he snuggled into you on the hospital bed. 
Your sister knew exactly which man you were referring to, and she denied having done such. “No, I didn’t even talk to him. He took Sachi here and left.” 
You didn’t know why you looked at Ian to confirm the truth of his wife’s words, but hurt yourself upon seeing his bowed head. It was an apologetic expression that did signify your ex-husband’s blatant act of ignoring you. To hear about your near-death experience and simply leave without even checking on you should be your wake-up call. He didn’t care anymore. No, why should he care? He had Akemi. His only responsibility with you was to be a supportive father to your son. 
Why did the pain in your heart feel far more agonizing than the discomfort on your dislocated elbow?
If anything, you wanted to ask for the strongest anesthetic they could offer to numb your pain. You were desperate to have anything even if they had to put you into an eternal sleep. That would have been much easier to deal with than feeling disregarded by a person you supposedly had moved on from. Satoru did nothing wrong here. It was you who had that expectation, only to disappoint yourself when things didn’t happen as you imagined. 
And just when you thought things would get better as long as you ignore your torturous thoughts, it didn’t help that being in the hospital kept giving you flashbacks of the time you were in this exact room, hearing Satoru crying helplessly from outside and begging for you not to terminate his child. What comes around certainly goes back around. Or worse. 
Such depressive thoughts had you occupied throughout your stay there, and your unusual placidness alarmed the nurses instead of being assured that you were doing well. You heard your doctors telling your father and sister to always keep a close eye on you as the incident may not seem serious, but the trauma would undoubtedly be present somewhere and somehow. Were they aware? Of your intrusive thoughts of wanting to hurt yourself? 
The elbow arthroscopy was successful and by the second day, you were free to go home. You were placed on certain medications to help with the swelling and the pain, and while you were walking around the hospital with a listless mind, you happened to pass by the Obstetrics and Gynecology Department. What a deja vu it was, remembering the time you had seen Satoru there waiting outside for Sera. Back then, it was one of the climactic events in your life that led to a domino effect on the downfall of your marriage. Not that you were reminiscing, but it did remind you that Shoko was probably there in her consultation room and it would be nice to talk to a friend who had witnessed the wild history of your marriage. 
You asked Gen to wait for you in the car while you headed to Ieiri’s consultation room, assuring your visibly worried sister that everything was fine and that you wouldn’t take too long. You had to give Gen some slack, because despite the strains in your relationship as sisters, she was still always there for you. At the end of the day, she was family. 
Shoko, on the other hand, was the next closest thing you had for a sister. She welcomed you inside her room in a very worried embrace, telling you that if she had known about the incident, she would have gone straight to your hospital room on your first day, but you told her not to worry about it and understood that being in the medical field already had her schedule tight. 
“Well, I guess it’s perfect that you’re here, too.” Shoko smiled warmly, sitting behind her desk. She had exciting news to offer, it seemed. “I just wanna say that… of course, I’ll still be sending you a formal invitation and everything. I actually have a few gifts along with it.” 
You shared her enthusiasm. “Hmm… is it what I think it is?” 
The wedding. The most eventful day of her life would be arriving soon and you were the first one to hear it. 
“Yes!” she answered, with the utmost joy coruscating from her eyes. “I want you to be my maid-of-honor, Y/N. I’d be extremely happy if you could make it. I know you just got into an accident, but it won’t be until two months, so—”
“Hey, it’s okay.” You eased her worries by chuckling. “I’m completely fine, of course I’ll be there. I can’t miss it.” 
Shoko was grateful to hear your answer, relieved even, because by asking you to be her maid-of-honor, you should already understand who Suguru’s best man would be. That was a touchy subject for you and she was keenly aware of it, but you didn’t want her to worry. You didn’t want your relationship with your ex-husband to have a negative impact on the relationship of all the other people surrounding the both of you. It was already bad enough that Shoko and Suguru almost called off their engagement after they fought over their morals as you and Satoru’s friends, and you were glad that they somehow made things work. They somehow set aside their disagreements and ultimately chose their love over anything else. 
Their love was beautiful, and while that wasn’t something you could easily have, it was something you deeply admired. 
“Where are you guys planning to hold your wedding?” you asked, steering the conversation away from any mention of your ex-husband. “Here or overseas?” 
She delighted you with her answer, sounding as if this was the perfect wedding she had always dreamed of. “It’s an intimate wedding on the lakeside. Suguru chose the location, actually, since he wanted our wedding to have the view of Mount Fuji.” 
“That’s perfect,” you said with wide eyes. “Lake Kawaguchiko?” 
“Yep. That’s exactly where it’d be.” She smiled with her eyes. “You know this resort… Hoshinoya Fuji? We already booked the place, and we have a luxury cabin for friends and families to stay at.” 
You had been there before, but you were too young to remember. All you knew was that it was a high-end resort that had the best panoramic views of Lake Kawaguchiko and Mount Fuji. The hotel owner was also a close friend of the Gojou family, so that was probably why they were able to rent the entire place for the wedding, especially at a peak season for tourists. 
Since the fall season was arriving, you could only imagine the stunning views of the autumn foliage there. It offered the perfect weather, too. It wouldn’t be as hot as summer, nor as freezing as winter. Surely, it would be nice to do some nature walks and stargazing, maybe ride a boat or bathe in a hot spring. You looked forward to it, except for the fact that your ex-husband would also be there. 
And just what a perfect timing it was, because as Shoko sorted through her patients' medical records above her desk, a file slipped from the pile, revealing the name of your very friend, Akemi. 
“Oh,” Shoko murmured apologetically as she retrieved the record, not wanting to ruin the mood of your conversation. “She, uh, came by a few days ago... with Gojou.”
You didn’t need to ask. You didn’t need to hear any further detail. Akemi’s visit likely revolved around her desire to conceive, as she wouldn’t have visited Shoko otherwise. Why? If it were simply to monitor her polycystic ovary, why did she choose Shoko instead of her own gynecologist? Thinking of how your ex-husband and best friend were attempting to start a family together left your heart shattered in unimaginable pieces, stirring up painful memories of your pathetic marriage with Satoru and reopening old wounds you thought had already healed from. Wasn’t it ironic that a couple of years ago, you were crying over the same situation with Sera? 
You couldn’t stand this feeling anymore. You thought you had already freed yourself from the pain of loving him, yet here you were suffering from the same heartbreak over and over and over again. Tears threatened to spill, but you held them back, the ache in your chest too raw to confront just yet. 
“It’s funny.” Although you displayed an outward smile, the sadness in your voice reflected your otherwise inward thoughts. You didn’t know why you said that. You were just too… too emotional. Almost like you couldn’t breathe. “He was never this passionate with me. They seem so in love.” 
Ieiri’s eyes carried sisterly concern in them. “Y/N, it’s not really what you think.” 
Was it? You weren’t sure what to feel anymore. You certainly weren't there to hear it anymore, either. Satoru chose her, just like what you wanted for him to do. Just like what you asked him to do. He had moved on, he had found someone who would love him for who he was, he had chosen the woman he would share the rest of his future with. Call yourself ridiculous for even feeling hurt about it, because you had no right to be and you definitely chose this. Either you own up to it, or you cry about it for the rest of your life. 
Both choices had no happy endings. 
— —
When Satoru learned about your incident in the woods, he thought he was going to lose his mind. 
Was it out of love that he swiftly left the office in the middle of a meeting just to get to where you were? 
He still had to pick up Sachiro from daycare, and he felt bad telling his son on the way to the hospital that his mother was hurt. It actually gave Satoru a hard time explaining to the 3-year old that they had to go to the hospital because his mommy was there and that she had an unfortunate encounter while riding a horse. 
“Dada, is… is mama okay?” Sachiro pouted with wide, tearful eyes as he clung to his father’s hand. “Sachi wants to go to mama!” 
“She’ll be okay, Sachi.” Gojou carried his son and soothed him as they went inside the hospital, searching for you. “Mommy’s strong, remember?” 
Was it out of love that he wanted to be the person that brought your son to you when you most needed him? 
According to the nurse, your room was on the seventh floor, but when he got there, your room was empty. It was Ian who told him that you went up the rooftop garden to get some fresh air, insisting that if Satoru wanted to go and talk to you, that it was best to leave Sachiro with them. 
And so he did. He ran hastily, almost out of breath, until he reached the rooftop, scanning every face within the vicinity until his tired blue eyes finally landed on you. 
Satoru laughed in disbelief. He scoffed bitterly, with each breath full of disgust. The tips of his fingers felt cold, while his breathing grew thin and ragged. He could feel his stomach clenching at the humiliation of seeing you engaged in an intimate make-out session with Toji Zen’in. 
How sickeningly sweet. 
At that point, he was laughing at his own expense, ignoring the elderly lady who looked at him like he was a crazy person. He stood there frozen for a few minutes, watching you kiss another man before it finally woke him up from reality. 
It was out of love that he let you go. 
You see? This was where his attachment to you would lead him. It was pure and unreasonable selfishness, but he would gain nothing at all from even seeing you. He didn’t need to care for you at all, no. You had Toji. You seemed to be goddamn happy with your life with Toji. And what a romantic fucking moment that was, too. 
Satoru couldn’t think straight when he hurriedly left the hospital and got inside his car. He desperately wanted to forget the painful image of you locking lips with somebody else. How? How would he? Fuck! He was mad, mad at himself for choosing to come to your aid like he still had any role in your life. He was disgusted at himself for ignoring Akemi’s calls after promising her a movie date after work. He couldn’t believe he had her waiting all by herself in that cinema, waiting for him to come while he was stupidly running around the hospital to see his ex-wife. 
You chose Toji, then you better be happy. Satoru hoped you were happy, and that wish came from a place of genuineness. He genuinely hoped the best for you. Because for him, it was time to fully let go and stop himself from trying to be the superhero whenever you were in danger. You weren’t his wife anymore. 
So, was it out of love that he headed straight to Akemi’s apartment that night with a bouquet of red roses? 
She didn’t know what happened nor was she given the full detail as to why he unintentionally stood her up on their date night. He had just briefly explained that he had to drop Sachiro off to you at a hospital because you got into a small accident. Akemi, being your friend, got immediately worried upon hearing the situation and asked if Satoru was able to check on you. 
He said no. He said Toji was there. He said he left as soon as dropped Sachiro off. 
And in an effort to apologize for not paying attention to the current woman in his life, Satoru pulled Akemi in a tight embrace. He held her in her arms, drunk from the sweet and citrusy notes of her perfume, before pulling away to kiss her. He kissed her with the same passion as you did with Toji. Perhaps even more, even better. He completely devoured her lips, with a hand on her cheek and the other on her waist. The taste of her tongue was sweet like strawberries, while her lips were red like cherries. 
This woman was all he needed. 
But was this love? He didn’t know. It was too soon to tell, too early to answer, too hasty to even consider. 
— —
The current situation you were in reminded you of your younger self after your mother had died. It was the same before; you never left the house, often locking yourself in your room, shutting yourself off from the world, and drowning yourself with the pain and loneliness of losing somebody important. 
Sure, no one really died for you to be acting this way right now, but the feeling was still the same. Was this really a comeuppance to all of your wrongdoings before? But just how terrible were you of a person to be hit by this unbelievable truckload of sorrow? You might as well spur on the physical pains of your angina again if this torment continued. Otherwise, how else do you avoid it? 
You were being a terrible mother, too. You were too engrossed by your own misery that you couldn’t even properly take care of Sachiro. He didn’t deserve to have an incompetent and irresponsible mother like you. He deserves someone better, someone like Akemi, who not only has all the motherly traits a woman should have, but also the physical and mental capacity of being a true, strong woman. 
Sachiro was bound to have that, anyway. Now that his father was planning his lifelong journey with another woman, and now that he was trying to build a happy family with her, you were no longer needed in the picture. There was no need for you. 
How many more times would you tell that you have accepted it? 
Because, god be damned, you knew you couldn’t. You knew you were lying to yourself when you said everything was fine, lying to Satoru when you told him you didn’t need him in your life anymore, lying to Toji for telling him that you wanted to marry him, lying to Akemi that you didn’t care if she was seeing your ex-husband, and lying to Sachiro when you promised to him that you would never leave his side. You were a liar. A terrible liar. A pitiful, terrible liar. 
How would you tell the universe that you couldn’t take it anymore? That, for once, you wanted to be showered by happiness and all the good things in life? 
Sera was right. Not everyone could have it all. There were people of lesser fortune who weren’t blessed to live a lavish life like you, yet still work hard to achieve what they want. Why couldn't you achieve your own happiness without blaming it on the universe? If this was simply a lesson, then weren’t you the top student at this rate? 
God. God, help me. You really didn’t know how to deal with this life anymore. You weren’t sure how to proceed. You couldn’t rely on anything other than the bottle of alcohol on your hand—what was once full was now half empty after you took another swig. This was your second bottle already, wasn’t it? Or third? 
You got up from the floor and failed to walk in a straight line as you made your way towards the balcony. Your steps were unsteady, wavering like a leaf caught in a gentle breeze. With each attempt to move forward, your body swayed from side to side, struggling to maintain balance. You almost lost grip of the bottle you were holding. No, it did, in fact, slip from your hand and ended up crashing into the floor. Shards of glass lay across the ground, ready to pierce the soles of your feet to mirror the same physical pain your heart was experiencing. 
“Stop,” you muttered under your breath, begging for your chest to stop hurting. But it only worsened, and your antidote to that was to wash it down with even more liquor. No matter how expensive it was, you didn’t even like the taste of alcohol. You hated the sting on your throat whenever you drank it. You despised the bitterness it left on your tongue. However, it did great at numbing your emotions. 
It just felt wrong in many ways that you were seeing Satoru’s face whenever you closed your eyes. You could see his smile, his loving eyes, his beautiful lips. You missed his embrace, his kiss, his touch. You missed hearing his I love you’s. Him. You missed him. You yearned for him. Three goddamn years, and you were still undeniably in love with him. 
“Satoru…” you cried, sitting on the floor. Each breath made it harder and harder for you to catch as tears continued to stream down your face. You were tired of pretending, denying that you no longer had feelings for him when you knew deep down that you would always choose him. “S-Satoru… come back to me, please.”
Was it him coming inside your room? Or was it your vision making a fool out of you? 
“Baby, what are you doing?” Satoru’s expression was engulfed in immense worry as he knelt down and reached out to you, touching your cheek and looking at your eyes somberly. “Don’t do this yourself, Y/N.” 
Your head hung low, your gaze unfocused and glazed, as you fought to keep your eyes on the path ahead. You had to reach him. You wanted to touch him, hug him. And despite your best efforts, your movements were disjointed and erratic, betraying the effects of the alcohol coursing through your veins.
“Y/N, that’s enough.” Gen had to use force just to be able to snatch the bottle away from you, forcing you to wake up to the reality where Satoru no longer existed to be there for you. It was her who came rushing inside your room in the middle of the night. The bottle of liquor was now spilled all over the floor. The same could be described with your emotions. “Get it together. You haven’t been acting like yourself lately!”
You couldn’t, even if you wanted to. You were in delirium after having dealt with all the terrible things the world had thrown at you. If you couldn’t drown yourself in alcohol, how else would you have been able to numb the pain? How else would you have been able to… forget? 
As much as your sister tried to hide the obvious sympathy in her voice, even your drunken mind could recognize it. “We all know you’re going down the depression lane again, but never to this extent.” Her voice cracked in the middle of her sentence, cradling you into her arms as a tear fell down her face. The Gen who would usually lecture you, was now holding you in her arms as her only baby sister. “Stop this, Y/N, please. Don’t ruin your life the second time. I-It’s hurting me. It’s hurting Dad. Do you… do you realize what Sachiro’s gonna think of you when he sees you like this?” 
“Gen…” Muffled sobs unwillingly came out of you, leaving you with such excruciating pain in the chest, so much so that it didn’t even feel like you had done surgery to fix your (quite literally) broken heart.  “I w-want him back,” you continued to cry, “I want my husband back. I want to be with h-him, Gen.” 
“Y/N.”
“Where’s S-Satoru…? D-Did he leave? Please take me to him—”
“Y/N, listen to me.” She gently cupped your cheeks, forcing you to look at her pained eyes. “You’re intoxicated. He was never here, and he’d never come for you. You have to let it go.” 
“But—”
“He’s not good for you. He never will be.”
— —
It had been two weeks since Satoru last heard about you. Miwa was the one who updated him that you had already returned to your family’s mansion, letting him know that you were okay and that you were recovering well. Frankly, Satoru was starting to get annoyed at the fact that his secretary was still giving him updates about you. What did he care? He wasn’t your husband anymore. 
Besides, Toji was probably visiting you every day, so why did he have to worry about you? If there was anyone he should be worried about, it was Akemi. She had been experiencing terrible pelvic cramps lately, which needed to be given serious attention, but you would never see her being dramatic about it. The only thing she needed was for Gojou to accompany her visits to the OB-GYN, and even then, she never showered herself in self-pity. She carried herself like an independent woman, and that was exactly what Satoru needed in his life right now. 
He had a son to raise. He had a company to run. It wasn’t the perfect time to commit himself to someone lawfully. Heck, he didn’t even believe in marriage anymore. He realized that two people could still love each other without getting married. As long as Akemi didn’t pressure him about such things, he was fine with having her around. She didn’t ask for anything much, anyway. 
As for you, well… 
“What are you planning with that mansion you gifted Y/N?” asked Nanami, seated on the couch inside Satoru’s office, casually reading a newspaper. “Do you even remember that?” 
He certainly did. “What about it?” he questioned, idly toying with a pen on his desk. “It’s her property now. She can sell it if she wants.”
Better yet, you should let Sachiro inherit the property someday. His son was already set for a life of privilege having wealthy parents on both sides, but wouldn’t the mansion be a substantial addition to his assets in the future? Satoru couldn’t help but envision the kind of man his son would grow up into. He hoped Sachiro would not inherit his father's immaturity and pettiness but would embody the kindness and altruism of his mother. From a business perspective, however, Satoru planned to groom his son to be a leader, as he was the sole heir to the Gojou Group. Additionally, he would also inherit half of Creston and the entirety of Hearte. No wonder Sachiro was recently listed as the wealthiest kid by Forbes Japan. He even beat Megumi Zen’in from the list even though the teenager was the heir of the Zen’in business empire. 
These were the thoughts that should consume Satoru—the future, not the past. His kid, not you. And he was right about doing so, because when he came home to his penthouse, he was told that he had a visitor. 
A visitor on a Wednesday afternoon? 
Your brother-in-law, the esteemed prosecutor who sent his evil stepmother to jail, appeared on his front door, carrying Sachiro in his arms. It was hard to tell what type of emotions were visible on the man’s face, but he definitely didn’t bring any good news. 
“Ian?” Satoru promptly made way for the man to come in, ushering him into the penthouse and allowing him to set Sachiro down. The young boy was quick to dart off to his playroom, leaving the two men in an uncomfortable silence. “What’s going on? Weekends are usually my schedule with Sachi.” 
Ian cleared his throat, a hand on his pocket. “Do you mind looking after Sachiro for the time being?” 
By saying ‘for the time being’, it seemed like Ian wanted to actually say ‘until further notice.’ But that confused Satoru even more, because what was happening for the man to come here and ask him to let Sachiro stay beyond the agreed schedule with his father? He couldn’t read through Ian’s expression and it was making him uneasy. 
“I can, but… why so suddenly?” Gojou asked, glancing at his oblivious son. 
“It’s Y/N’s idea, Gen doesn’t know about it.” Ian released an awkward chuckle. “You know how my wife is.” 
Gen would absolutely hate it, Satoru was aware for sure. Though the questions lingered in his mind. “Why would Y/N want Sachi to stay with me? Where’s she?” 
Was it him or was Ian having a hard time explaining the situation? It felt like he was walking on eggshells, deciding between what had to be said and what shouldn’t. He was careful with his words when he spoke again, “Y/N flew to Monaco this morning and will be back when she’s ready. She says Sachiro should spend all of his time with you while she’s gone.” 
Monaco? Why would you be there?
Confusion bathed Satoru’s eyes. “Is it for a fashion event or something?” 
“No, she’s just…” Ian struggled heavily. “Well, to sum it up, she has to go there to sort some things out. It’s a personal thing, but she really needs this time for herself and we think it’s the best for her right now. I don’t know how long she’s gonna stay there or when she’ll be back, but I hope you understand what I’m trying to say here.”
No, he didn’t. Satoru found it difficult to fathom his ex-brother-in-law’s words, seeing as he had no general idea of what was truly going on. But if you were flying to Monaco, surely Toji wouldn’t allow you to go there all by yourself? 
Ahh. It made sense now. I see what’s happening here. 
Satoru’s lips curled into sarcasm. You would be vacationing with the love of your life. Is that what it was? Planning your halted wedding? Choosing wedding gowns? Looking for venues? There was no way you would be flying to Monaco alone, especially without Sachiro around when you two had been inseparable since his birth. 
“What kinda mother is she?” Satoru muttered in disgust, unaware that Ian had overheard him. But Ian had heard loud and clear. How could you leave your son behind like this? Couldn’t you face your ex-husband to discuss it, instead of just dropping Sachiro off as if he were some unwanted toy?
“Hold it right there,” Ian interjected, becoming defensive at the accusation. “You have no idea what she’s going through.”
How would he know? No one was telling him shit. No one was giving him details, so did they expect him to understand things and accept them as they were? Did they do the same thing to Satoru when he was at the verge of losing his sanity asking everyone for forgiveness over and over? 
“I've never taken sides between you two, Satoru, you know that,” Ian continued, trying to maintain a calm demeanor and speak with clear judgment, “But one thing I’m not gonna let you do is call Y/N a bad mother.”
Satoru’s chest tightened at Ian's words, a mixture of guilt and frustration bubbling up inside him. He knew he shouldn’t have spoken out of turn, but the pain and resentment were too raw to contain. It felt like you were abandoning him and your child, like you were off to a new chapter in your life again, and leaving everything behind. Perhaps this was his trauma from the New York thing crawling back at him, but it definitely reminded him of the day you had abandoned him. For three fucking years. How long would it take you to return now? 
Why do you keep doing this? He was sick of it. You kept running away instead of talking to him. He gets it, people change, circumstances change, but couldn’t you at least have the decency to talk to him about it? Was it wrong for him to wish you’d handled this differently? To wish that you’d talked to him, involved him in the decision-making process, instead of just making this unilateral decision and leaving him to pick up the pieces? 
Satoru took a moment, collecting his thoughts before continuing. “It’s fine, I’ll take care of Sachi,” he reassured, “I’ll take some time off work and have ‘Kemi help me out.” 
He looked back at Ian, his eyes pleading for further details, for answers, for some semblance of clarity in the midst of this emotional turmoil.
Yet none of it was given. 
And so, would it still be wrong to assume that he could now completely forget about you? That this opportunity to be with Sachiro would allow him a chance to share it with someone else? If you spent three years of your life playing house in New York with Toji, would it still be unfair for Satoru to do the same with Akemi? 
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genderqueerdykes · 2 months
Note
is there anything that has happened since starting T that you didn't expect to happen? or that you feel you were not adequately informed about (by doctors, peers, etc), and that really should be more common knowledge?
that's such a great question, thank you for asking! that's a huge yes from me! here's what i experienced that i was definitely caught off guard by and not warned about that presented some challenges:
I was not told that because my body is changing, growing, and adjusting to a new balance in my endocrine system that i would be very exhausted for quite a while. i already have chronic fatigue but i basically struggled to get out of bed for about 2 weeks after starting T- i wasn't depressed, i was just exhausted. this is due to the fact that my muscles were becoming denser and rearranging themselves, my facial and body structure were changing, i was growing more hair, etc. that takes a lot of energy!
Similarly to the point above, no one told me that it would make you hungry as hell, and require you to eat a lot more. if you feel like you're "over eating" after just starting testosterone, you're probably not- your base caloric intake needs to increase because you are literally growing and changing, and also, high testosterone bodies tend to need more calories anyways
Body hair growth is ITCHY!!!! and sometimes even painful! growing hair in sensitive areas like your armpits, crotch and ass can be extremely uncomfortable if not painful at times. I've heard from even cis men who have told me that growing their ass hair was extremely painful and uncomfortable due to how that area is configured- if you find that hair growth is uncomfortable this is pretty normal, but always seek help if it becomes unbearable or you feel there are ingrown hairs. Also nose hair and ear hair become more of a thing, now
Testosterone will thicken your vocal cords and drop your voice, but you also have to teach yourself how to speak from your chest, or how to drop your voice to sit in a lower range naturally or else you will still sound pretty similar to your pre-transition voice, unless that is your goal. The effects are very strong, but many transmascs*, trans folk* etc. don't see as much change as they would if they also trained their voice at the same time while it's dropping
Your boobs will become flatter and sometimes smaller and a lot saggier. This is normal!
Whenever i re-start testosterone and when i started it for the first time, i had some pretty heavy menstrual periods for a while; sometimes your body reacts in the opposite way at first before totally stopping your periods altogether. it's almost like "rebound" symptom, if you know what that mean
Restless energy will very much become a thing, if you notice you're starting to get pissed off and can't place a finger on why you feel agitated and like you're going to explode, you might just need to do some physical activity for a while
that's all i could think of for now, but if i think of anything else, i'll be sure to add it to this post! thanks for asking, i hope this was informational! good luck out there in your journey!
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puckbunnyera · 2 months
Text
Just Friends | Luke Hughes
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• ──────────────♡────────────── •
genre: fluff
word count: 2.3k
warnings: none
notes: it's been less than 24 hours since i posted my first fic and i've already received a few asks for a part 2 so here it is. i'll link the first part here. thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read it, like it, reblog it, etc. i'm always really nervous to post my own writing so any type of interaction with it feels good to see.
also, i know the timelines of the games played in both fics don't align with the actual events in real time but we are just going to ignore that for the sake of the plot.
• ──────────────♡────────────── •
I sigh as I stand in front of my bedroom mirror, doing one last fit check before Luke arrives. I'm nervous. I come to this realization as I smooth out the nonexistent wrinkles in my shirt. Why? I couldn't tell you. It's been almost two months since the night I met Luke, and we've talked and texted almost every day since. We've even hung out multiple times since then, but I always seem to get all nervous and jittery anytime he presents the offer. My thoughts start to consume me to the point that I'm almost tempted to text him and ask for a rain check, but before I can fall too deeply into them, my attention is stolen by the two girls lying on my bed behind me.
"I still can't believe you're dating The Luke Hughes." One of my friends says causing me to turn my back towards the mirror to look at her.
"We aren't dating." I scoff. "We're-"
"Right, you're 'just friends'." My other friend interrupts, rolling her eyes and using her fingers to make air quotes as she says the words.
"We are." I shrug, moving to sit in my vanity chair so I can put on my shoes.
"You don't have to believe us if you don't want to, but he totally has the hots for you."
"It's so obvious. Any time he has the chance to get away from his job, he's calling, texting, or coming to see you. Even if it's only for a short amount of time. Those aren't typical behaviors of a guy who wants to be 'just friends'."
They continue to go on and on as if they're trying to convince a jury that they're innocent of a crime. The sound of my phone dinging from beside me on the table finally brings their rambling to an end. I pick up to find a text from Luke.
From Luke🏒: i'm here
To Luke🏒: omw
"I would love to stay and continue this conversation," I smile sarcastically as I stand up, "But my friend is waiting for me downstairs." I make sure to add extra emphasis on the word friend.
They both giggle and bid their goodbyes as I walk out of the room. When I make it downstairs to the lobby of my apartment building, Luke, in all of his handsome glory, is waiting patiently by the door.
"Ready to go?" He questions once I'm standing in front of him. I nod in confirmation and he opens the door for us, placing a gentle hand on my back to lead me out.
"What's the plan for today?" I ask once we're settled into the car.
"I need to drop off a couple of things at the dry cleaners since my brother forgot to do it," He gestures to the items in his backseat. "But then I figured we could go to dinner, catch a movie, and then maybe grab some dessert before I take you home."
"Sounds good!" I reply with a smile, with which he returns one of his own before putting the car in drive and pulling away from my apartment building.
Things are going well today. Really well. We're having fun and Luke is being as sweet as always. However, that's the only problem. Despite the stance I took in the argument with my friends, I can't help but let their words get to me. The whole evening, I've been reading too deeply into every little thing he does. Every door he holds open for me, every chair he pulls out for me, every accidental brush of our hands when we walk side-by-side. I'm trying not to let it show, but when Luke's voice rattles my thoughts and pulls me back down to Earth, I know I'm failing.
"Are you okay?" He asks as we sit in the car, waiting for the red light to turn green. "You've been pretty quiet today."
"Really?" I ask, genuinely confused because I hadn't noticed that change in my behavior. When he responds with a solemn nod, guilt rises in my chest. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was. It has nothing to do with you." Yet it has everything to do with him.
"Did something happen?" He pushes further.
"No, just have a lot on my mind with work and all, but I'm okay. Promise." I give him a soft smile in hopes that it will give him enough reassurance to drop the conversation. Thankfully he does, but the look in his eyes shows clearly that he doesn't believe me. "So my friends were telling me that you have a home game coming up in a couple of days against your oldest brother's team. Are you excited?" I change the subject quickly.
"Yeah," He nods, a smile gracing his features. "My parents are gonna be in town to watch us face off against each other. All three Hughes brothers on the same ice. I'm hoping it will be as exciting as everyone and the media are making it seem." He chuckles. "I'm also just really excited to see Quinn. We haven't gotten to see each other much since I moved out to Jersey and the season started. I think it'll be nice to have us all back together again, even if it's just for a couple of days."
"I bet it will be."
"I'm glad you brought this up because I've been meaning to ask you something."
"What is it?"
"Would you maybe want to come to the game?"
"Do you want me to come?" I'm praying the hopeful look in my eyes isn't obvious.
"Yeah," He nods. "I really do."
"Then I'll be there." I assure him. "The girls were talking about purchasing tickets anyways, so I'll tell them to make it three tickets instead of just the two."
"Don't worry about it. I got it covered."
"Luke, you don't have to do that." I shake my head, readying myself to argue.
"I know I don't have to, but I want to." The look he gives me makes me forget any rebuttal I had previously prepared. "Plus, I already got the tickets and the seating arrangements set up."
"And you just knew I was gonna say yes?" I reply, crossing my arms.
"No, but I was hoping you would."
"I guess some dreams really do come true." I joke.
"I guess so."
We continue to talk and joke around for the remainder of the drive. It goes by a little too quickly though, because before I know it, he's putting the car in park in front of my building. Being the gentleman that he is, he walks me all the way up to my apartment door. It's not until I have unlocked and opened the door that he finally says goodnight, placing a soft peck on my cheek before walking away. Once he has disappeared into the elevator and I'm sure he's gone, I close and lock the door.
As I'm getting ready for bed, I become aware of the slight ache in my cheeks from smiling so much. As soon as my head hits my pillow, the realization dawns on me. I am in love with Luke Hughes.
• ───────────────────────────── •
I'm still in shock at the fact that he really went all out with the tickets. My friends seem to be as well considering that they still haven't managed to pick their jaws up off the floor yet. Never in my life would I have ever expected to be seated in one of the arena's luxury suites. I feel a little bad the more I dwell on it. There are more deserving fans that could be sitting here, yet some girl who knew nothing about the sport two months ago had them handed to her at no cost.
"Hi, you must be Y/N." An unfamiliar woman's voice pulls me from my pity-party.
"Oh, hi." I greet her as I turn in her direction.
"I'm Luke's mom, Ellen." She smiles and pulls me into a quick but gentle embrace. "And this is my husband, Jim." She gestures to the man beside her.
"Nice to meet you, Y/N." He offers a hand for me to shake.
"You as well." I accept it before introducing them to my two friends, who are not-so-discreetly eavesdropping on the conversation.
We all find a seat and fall into casual conversation. Just getting to know each other and talking about this, that, and the other. Once the teams begin to make their way onto the ice, our attentions shift away from each other and onto the players.
Having admitted to my lack of knowledge of the sport before the game started, Jim and Ellen kindly explained the game to me so I would know what is going on. By the end of the first period, I'm clued in enough that I don't need it anymore and eventually, I become just as immersed in the game as the rest of them are.
It's in the second period that Luke scores a goal and we all stand up, cheering loudly with the crowd. The excitement is so high that I don't even shy away when Ellen happily pulls me into a tight hug before pulling away and continuing to cheer for her youngest son. Third period seems to go by in a flash and then the game is ending with a 6-5 win for the Devils, both Jack and Luke having contributed to the score with goals of their own.
Once the final buzzer goes off, my friends bid their farewells before heading out to go home. However, I hang back with Ellen and Jim upon the request of Luke. I follow the two down from the suite until we make it to where the locker rooms are located, waiting in the hall for the three brothers to emerge. We stand around conversing for about ten or so minutes before the men finally make their appearances.
They all embrace and greet each other as I stand back and watch with a smile. They really are a beautiful family. Once they all break away, Luke turns his attention towards me. He steps forward and reaches for me, pulling me into his arms.
"Congratulations." I speak softly as I wrap my arms around his broad shoulders, his wrapped around my waist.
"Thank you." I can hear the smile in his voice.
Time escapes me as I stand in his arms. I'm not even sure how long we've been holding onto each other. It's his brother's voice that finally has us separating.
"You must be the infamous Y/N." Quinn steps up, a smug grin on his face. "I've heard so much about you."
"I've heard a lot about you as well," I respond politely, despite the blush I'm sure I'm sporting due to his teasing tone. "It's nice to finally meet you."
"Will you be joining us for dinner?" Ellen asks from where she stands, now next to Quinn.
"Oh, um," I look to Luke for an answer. He nods, a pleading look in his eyes. "Yes, I would love to." I finally reply.
With that being said, we all begin to exit the arena and head to the parking lot. We're almost to the vehicles when Luke gently grabs my hand and pulls me to a stop. Once his family is out of earshot, he begins to speak.
"This might seem random and sudden, but I've been thinking about it for a while." He starts, looking away nervously and lifting a hand to scratch the back of his neck. "And feel free to say no because I don't want you to feel like you have to say yes just because I'm asking. Or if you feel like you need time to think it over, feel free to take all of the time you need. Actually, maybe I-"
"Luke," I say his name softly, placing my hands on his reddening cheeks and forcing his gaze back to mine. His rambling comes to a halt. "Breathe."
"Sorry." He inhales deeply before releasing his breath. "I was wondering, would you be my girlfriend?"
It's my turn to take a deep breath. Out of all the things he could have said, I was not expecting this. I take a moment to gather my thoughts as a smile begins to pull at my lips.
"I would love to." I nod, my smile growing larger resulting in his own.
"Well," He takes a step closer to me. "Since you're my girlfriend now, does that mean I can kiss you?" His question flusters me but I try hard not to show it.
"Do you want to kiss me?"
"Really fucking badly."
"Then kiss me, Luke."
And so he does. His lips crash into mine in a soft but passionate kiss. As if he has waited a lifetime to do it. It's gentle yet desperate. As we finally part, he pecks my lips a few more times before pulling away completely. He opens his mouth to say something but is stopped by Jack shouting from where his family is waiting by the cars, surely having seen the whole display.
"If you two lovebirds are done sucking faces in the middle of the parking lot, I would like to leave now. I'm fucking starving." He teases.
We both turn our gazes in time to see Quinn smack the middle brother in the back of the head and both parents shaking their heads at their son's antics. Luke chuckles at the scene as he intertwines his hand with mine and begins to walk to the car. My heart flutters as I finally admit the obvious to myself. Maybe we weren't ever just friends. I mentally roll my eyes as I climb into the back seat, already picturing the two squealing girls in my head and the endless amounts of I told you so's that I'm sure to hear when I fill them in. However, when Luke slides into the car next to me and interlocks our hands once again, I can't bring myself to care. I think I like this little life.
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hihimissamericanbi · 2 months
Text
FAVE HP SMUT CREATORS
Ever since I got that lovely anon asking for the best smut I've ever read, it got me thinking about some of my favorite smut creators in general.
So here is a very non-exhaustive list of fan-fucking-tastic smut writers and artists I've come across in the HP fandom that weren't mentioned (shamefully) in my last batch. Feel free to add to the list! We must keep the people fed.
xoxo go take a sip of cold water girl
WRITERS
@spookymoonie
Lord Espooky came into this fandom guns a-blazing with their kink headcanon a day for Wolfstar and it has spiraled from there. They GET IT. He has a super well-organized masterlist pinned to his tumblr ft tons of different kinks, fic lengths, scenes, etc. Go. Now.
@fiveht
The definition of IYKYK. Daddy kink isn't super my thing, but Five makes me enjoy it. If you vibe with age gap daddy Remus and pretty boy Sirius, their Adore series is a must-read. They also have a stellar A/B/O Wolfstar fic plus podfic and write some Marvel too!
@greenvlvetcouch
An absolute legend in this fandom. Wolfstar, Jeggy, Rosekiller. Gritty, chewy, embodied sex.
@emeryhall
Emery writes sex the way some people breathe. Like it's just part of the narrative. It's SO punchy. And also she is the queen of Crack Smut.
@kaaaaaaarf
Patron saint of Wolfstar hatefucks. mic drop.
@cancerravenclaw
We snagged MK over to Wolfstar from the clutches of Dramione. Her series "mk's kink exposé" could also be called "celine's kink exposé." I'll just leave that there.
@wolfpants
Everything they create is magic, but they are especially known for rare pairs and Dronarry.
WRITERS AND ARTISTS
@aspiring-artist-em
The queen of Lesbian Wolfstar. Both art and fic. Also queen of humiliation and pain kink and Walburga psychological trauma. ye be warned.
@upthehillnsfw / @upthehillart
I am afraid no one is ready for this art. Truly. Tons of different ships, positions, acts. I gasp every time. And their Pansmione fic is epic (which I have talked about before).
ARTISTS
@industrations
I highly recommend getting on Indi's Patreon so you can enjoy their NSFW drawings, mostly Wolfstar and Jegulus, occasional Rosekiller. Too many iconic moments to count.
@waxingrunes
The officially-sponsored artist of Five's Adore series. Look, their work is nothing short of indulgent. Shhhh don't worry about the physics just let it happen. And by It I mean Remus' big dick hands.
@basiatlu
By beloved. The one. The only. Bosh's drawings are so ALIVE. They leap off the screen. Her Drarry is nothing less than iconic. She also dabbles in other characters/ships like Wolfstar and Blackcest. Siriusly, you can't go wrong.
DRARRY SMUT
OKAY, Drarry people. There are so so many excellent Drarry smut writers it is impossible to name them all. Here are but a tiny handful I have pulled from my bookmarks. I'm happy to rec specific fics if asked :)
@cavendishbutterfly, @bixgirl1, @l0vegl0wsinthedark, @shiftylinguini, @kbrick, @fluxweeed, @academicdisasterfic
MORE
I'm tagging those other creators from older asks because I can't put this list out there without them on it <3
@crushofdoves @we-are-swearwolves @tenthousandyearsx @theresthesnitch @lqtraintracks Quietlemonhush @cuddlebugsirius
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carolmunson · 1 year
Text
it's your party and i'll cry if i want to (sadist!daddydom!eddie x f!masochist!reader)
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warnings: smut, 18+, minors dni. sadism/masochism. established relationship. intense spanking with hands and implements. angst. hurt/comfort. daddy kink, some major daddy dom energy from eddie in this one. lots of fluff at the end. some yearning. mild threats. accidental bratting/all around bad attitude from reader. eddie calls reader a 'bitch' outside of a scene. mentions of being on period. name calling: 'stupid' 'bad girl', pet names 'baby, angel, honey, etc'. mild exhibitionism (continuing a scene when someone walks in), YES there is aftercare/communication. anything i might've forgot, i'll add later. i'm sorry!
---
Eddie checked his watch for the third time with an annoyed grunt, elongated and growing in volume as he saw the time. 10:45.
And that would be fine -- that is, if he hadn't asked you to be at his trailer by 10:00 AM.
And being this late would have also been fine if you had called him to let him know you were running late -- like you were supposed to. It was one of the rules he gave you that was the most important to him. Not that he needed to know where you were at all times, he was just always quick to jump to the worst case scenario. 'Oh, she's late? She died. She definitely died. She's bleeding out somewhere alone.'
It didn't help that Eddie's van was in the shop getting fixed up. Sure he could've done it himself but the guys wanted to do something nice for him after all the extra shifts he'd been taking. So lately, he'd been relying on you to get anywhere that wasn't his job.
He hates how you drive, it's the only thing he doesn't like about you.
A few more minutes pass and he hears the familiar crunch of tires over dried leaves, the sharp blaring of your car horn beeping to let him know you were there.
You never do that. You always get out and knock to say good morning, to give him a kiss, to tell him how cute he looks in his outfit. Eddie frowns and opens the screen door, patting his pockets to check for his wallet and keys before closing the main door behind him. He sees you in the driver's seat and can tell you're in a mood so he swallows whatever venom he had collecting on his tongue.
"Morning, sweet thing," he says softly, opening the passenger's side door, "You okay?"
You take the keys out of the ignition and toss them on the seat toward him, "I know you're gonna ask to drive so, here."
You huff when you unclick your seatbelt and get out of the car, grumbling something under your breath that Eddie can't quite make out. He has half a mind to catch you by the chin and ask you to speak up but he shakes out the thought -- he punished you last week, he didn't need to punish you again. At least not yet.
Eddie gets in the driver's seat while you ease into the passengers seat, putting your seatbelt on before he can ask you to. Even though he never wears a seatbelt, so you don't understand his incessant need to make sure you're wearing one.
After he pulls out of the park and onto the road, Eddie settles into the seat catching glances at you when he can.
"Why didn't you call?" he asked, he tried to keep it as light as possible.
"Woke up late, slipped my mind," you shrugged, looking out the window at the orange and bright red leaves.
"I know it might've been a rough morning but you're supposed to call, baby," he turns his head to you, putting a hand on your knee, "I don't appreciate being left in the dark, you know that."
"It's really not a big deal," you mumble, moving your knee out of his hand and keeping your gaze on the Indiana foliage.
"Okay..." he says to himself, putting the spare hand back on the wheel to meet the other.
The first stop on your day of errands before movie night at Eddie's trailer was to the shop so he could check out the van. He didn't mean to be such a stickler about it, but that really was his baby. You stayed in the car while he went in, watching him look back at you with a little wave before he got in the shop.
When he got back, your mood hadn't subsided. He took a deep breath when he opened the door and you greeted him with a "What did you take the whole thing apart and put it back together? That took forever."
"Sorry, babe, they just had a lot to run down with me," he explained apologetically, "Didn't mean to take so long."
"It's really gonna be so nice when it's done though, they redid the carpeting in the back and everything," he tittered, knee bouncing with excitement -- only to have his smile fall when you mumbled a quiet 'yeah whatever' to the window.
Next was the grocery store for snacks and food for the party. You both stepped through the automatic doors in tandem, the scent of cinnamon hitting your noses hard as they had already switched over the Halloween displays for Christmas displays.
"It's October 24th," Eddie laughed, "Are they kidding?"
You just look at the display and then at the aisles ahead of you, walking towards the candy and cookies aisle where you know he'd be headed first anyway.
Eddie shakes it off, something had to be wrong. Maybe you just weren't ready to talk about it yet. You do like having your space, afterall. He catches up next to you, offering his hand for you to hold it and then dropping it to his thigh when you shove your hands into your pockets of your jacket.
He swallows a lump building in his throat. Was it something I said? he thinks to himself.
You get to the junk food aisle, scanning the shelves together and he speaks again, "Thinking about going for a red theme -- I'm thinking vampire movies, stuff that gives off bloody and disgusting. Y'know? Stuff like that."
"Get whatever you want Ed, I literally don't care," you say breathily, defeat and annoyance dripping over the words. His whole body turns to you, less offended and angry, more hurt than anything else. You never just dismiss him like that.
"Hey, hey," he says, soft but surprised. He presses you into the bags of chips puffing past the shelving unit, taking your face gently in his hands, "What's goin' on with you, hm? Did I do something? Are you mad at me?"
"No, Ed," you try to pull your face out of his hands and move but he replaces them on your cheeks swiftly. Your cheeks are hot to the touch -- maybe you're sick?
"Are you tired? Hungry?" Ed pleaded, eyes searching for a glimmer of a happier you in your eyes. You were acting a little hangry, you always were so huffy when you didn't eat enough. He guessed maybe you didn't eat breakfast since you woke up so late -- that had to be it.
"Want me to grab you something here? Or I can grab you something at a drive-thru. Is that what you want?" he's practically begging for you to smile, desperate to see you nod and say sorry -- you're just hungry, you're just tired, you just need a kiss. God, he hadn't even gotten to kiss you yet today.
"Oh my god, Ed, stop -- I'm fine. You're being annoying," you half-whine while pushing past him, "Just get what you need to get so we can go, please."
Ed heaves a big sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose before closing his hand into a fist and leaning his forehead on it. You're in public, don't react the way you want to react right now. You just punished her a few days ago, keep your cool.
He opens his eyes and reaches for your keys attatched to his chain, deatching them and tossing them to you.
"Why don't you go wait for me in the car, okay? I won't be long in here," he offers. Maybe you just didn't feel like running errands, maybe you didn't want to go to the grocery store. You had told him once that the lights gave you a headache.
The late October air bites your cheeks when you step outside, savoring the heat in the car when you start it. Some time later, Eddie comes out, gocery bags in his hands that make him look like a Libra scale.
He knocks on the window, "Hey angel, can I get those keys for the trunk?"
You roll down the window just a crack and pass them through, satisfied by the exhausted sigh he lets out when you do it. His patience was starting to wear a little thin. Even more so when you kept changing the radio station so often that he just told you to shut it off and keep it off.
The next and most obvious stop was to Family Video to pick up the tapes for tonight. Eddie stopped for a second to talk to Steve at the counter, keeping his eye on you while you walked through the aisles and shelves of tapes. Robin came out of the back, so pleased to see you — Eddie watched your whole demeanor change. Smiley, happy, reaching out to hug her — toying with her new bracelet, giggling. His jaw clenched.
“You okay?” Steve asks, tapping his arm, “You look like you’re gonna kick Rob's ass.”
Eddie shakes his head to wash the attitude out of his face, “She’s just — she’s been in a mood all day. And all of a sudden Robin makes her happy? I mean, come on.”
“Ladies, am I right?” Steve rolls his eyes and looks over his shoulder at you and Robin. You’re reaching up to grab a case for Misery to read the back, your pinafore riding up and up while you reach. Eddie knows your body, the curve of your ass just hidden by the hem clinging to the fat just under it.
“Let me get it,” Eddie calls over before you put on a show for Family Video. His voice is sharp, making you freeze in place at first. Sinking slowly back onto your feet, you toss him a scowl while crossing your arms.
“I don’t want it anymore, it’s fine,” you mutter, disappearing behind another shelf. Eddie rolls his eyes with a huff, gesturing to you to Steve silently saying ‘See what I mean.’
"Someone's moody," Steve teases loud enough for you to hear.
"Oh my God," they hear you groan, hidden in the aisles.
"Guys, leave her alone," Robin chides, grabbing a box of rewound tapes off the counter, "Everyone's allowed a bad day, y'know?"
"I'm literally here," you snap, stomping out of the aisles, "Can you guys stop talking about me like I'm not here? For fuck's sake. "
"Hey," Eddie warns, his hand falling down on the counter. You close your eyes and let your breath out through your nose.
"Sorry, Rob," you frown, shoulders sulking. Robin shakes her head, making a face to imply that you didn't need to apologize, pulling you into a hug. You know what you're doing by not apologizing to Eddie or Steve, but you can't find yourself to care about the consequences.
Ed takes you by the hand to grab the movies for tonight, shielded by the sterile aisles and the smell of plastic. You hear Robin and Steve talk amongst themselves, the jingle of the bell as customers file in and out.
"Ah, the horror section," you mumble, completely deadpanned, "Never been here before."
Eddie stiffens, he doesn't feel bad anymore. Now he's angry. Now he thinks you're doing it on purpose.
"You wanna get whupped when we get home?" he asks sternly, "Keep it up."
He hopes the threat doesn't fall on deaf ears, but you aren't listening. You just cross your arms and burn holes into the back of his curly head while he picks two movies and tucks them under his leather clad arm.
He smiles at you when he turns around, squishing your cheeks between his finger and thumb, "Y'know, sucks that you have to be so mean 'cause you are awfully cute when you're in a little mood." He can play your game, too.
Ugh, fuck him. You roll your eyes and pull your chin out of his hand, you're like a woman posessed. This bad mood swarming through your body like sludge in your blood stream. You want to be happy, you want to be excited for movie night -- but you're just not. You wanna rip your skin off and scream in the aisles of Family Video. You wanna cause a scene.
At check out, the door opens and a hard gust of cold wind blows through the entry way. It wraps around your bare thighs and knee high socked calves -- you catch a little chill, a small shiver running through your shoulders.
"It's startin'a get too cold to wear these little dresses, baby," Eddie chastises while Steve scans the tapes and enters his employee number into the computer, "You're gonna get the flu."
"The flu's a virus, you can't get it from being cold," you huff, drumming your fingers on the counter. Eddie bites his tongue in his mouth, exchanging a look with Steve while he passes the money for the rentals over to him.
"Learn something new every day, don't we Harrington?" he asks, trying to keep you from bubbling over in front of your friends.
"That's basic high school biology Ed," you snap, venom stinging on your tongue, "No wonder it took you three fucking years to graduate."
"Woah, woah!" Steve's brow furrows, shaking his head, "Yellow flag. Not cool." Of course, a sports reference.
"It's fine," Eddie says quietly, his eyes cast downward, "We'll see you guys later."
He grabs the tapes with one hand and your sweatered bicep in the other, wrenching you out of the store to the car. He tosses the tapes in the back seat, peeling out of the parking lot with a screech.
You're silent on the road, not even the radio on to soften the tension, both fuming -- buzzing with anger. Eddie reaches for the cigarette tucked in his ear, hiding behind his long messy curls. It sits between his full lips, dangling while he searches for his lighter. You hear the flick and wait for him to take the first inhale, your teeth grind together so hard you swear he can hear it. Time, and time, and time again you had told him -- "Jesus Christ. Not in my fucking car, Ed."
You pluck the cigarette out of his mouth and toss it out the crack in your window.
Eddie slams on the breaks and you both jostle forward at the impact, the squeal of the tires echoing through the empty road. He turns to you with wild eyes, incredulous, "Are you on the fucking rag or something?!"
You don't respond, instead you cross your arms tighter around your chest and look out the window. You avoid his angry look, your heart pounding, knowing his is too.
"We're going home," he mutters, pulling a u-turn and heading toward the backroads that lead to the trailer park.
"No, no, you still wanted to stop at Melvald's for paper plates, and decorations," you offer quietly.
"Well maybe if you'd been such a bitch, I would've gotten to run all my errands," he explains, frustration bubbling in his chest. He swallows the lump building in his throat again. He didn't mean to call you a bitch, he's never called you that outside of play. But fuck did you have to bring up how hard it was for him to graduate?
"We can still," your voice lilts, going up an octave, "It doesn't have to be ruined."
"We are going home," he says with finality, eyes glued to the road. You can beg with your soft voice all you want, he's had enough today.
The both of you continue the ride back to Eddie's trailer in silence, just his and your shuddering breaths breaking through every now and again. You knew what you were in for when you got in the door, and part of you knew you deserved it -- but another part thought maybe, if you were sweet enough, he'd change his mind.
He pulls in with a quick turn, tires skidding in the dead grass wet with frost. You roll up your window and open the door, watching as Eddie reaches back to get the tapes out of the back. You step lightly to the trunk, waiting for him to come around with the key so you can bring in the groceries.
"Oh, you wanna be helpful now?" his voice is bitter, "You're a brat all day and now that you're in trouble you wanna be nice?"
You pout, just a little. Watching his hands as he unlocks the trunk and it eases open. As you reach for the grocery bags he swats them away, "I got it."
"Fine," you sneer, marching toward the door, "You got it."
"Oh-ho-ho, you just wait darlin'," he smiles while he slams the trunk closed, but it's the smile he does when he can't contain himself. When his hands are vibrating. When he wants to yell but can only laugh. Bar fights at The Hideout, blow out arguments with Wayne, when the gas station clerk calls him a freak.
Now it was you.
He walks past you, groceries and tapes in hand, fishing out his keys to open the door -- the door squeaking open. The sound of it mocks you because you know what's to come when it clicks closed.
Eddie puts the bags down on the table in the kitchenette, shrugging off his jacket and tossing it on one of the chairs. You stand by the closed door, the leather of the belt hanging next to the door frame taunting you.
Eddie takes his time to put the groceries away, leaving out the chips and other snacks he picked up. He'd put them in bowls later for the set up. Fuck. He does have bowls or paper plates -- you didn't go to the store.
You watch him go to the phone on the wall in the kitchen, dialing without looking -- you can hear Steve's cheery voice on the other end. "What's up, Ed?"
"How did you know it was me?"
"You're the only person who calls me on my car phone."
"Okay, whatever. Sorry to ask this, but we didn't get a chance to go to Melvald's. Would you be able to pick some stuff up for me?" he asks while keeping eye contact with you. Now you feel bad. Eddie liked hosting movie night, he liked putting up decorations and making it feel like a party. It was something he looked forward to every month when it was his turn and his were always so fun that everyone ended up sleeping over. Now it felt ruined because you just couldn't stop. You couldn't let him have his day.
Eddie says his thank you's when he's done asking for Steve's help and hangs up the phone. He motions you over when he takes the few steps into the living room, sitting on the couch with a groan. You follow solemnly, standing across the room from him.
"Didn't I just have to punish you last week?" he asks while inching forward on the cushions, legs spread wide in front of him, "I mean, jesus baby girl, you're really just askin' to get whupped these days."
Daddy's home. Eddie always ended up adopting a mix of his co-worker's Hoosier accent and Wayne's slight southern drawl when he stepped into that role. Always coming out when maybe you needed to really learn a lesson. Whenever the brat came out to play without him asking for it.
It was your least favorite game -- not because you didn't like it necessarily, but Eddie relied heavily on making sure you were embarrassed. He wasn't mean. He was mocking. He liked how it made you feel, he liked how you turned red when he called you his baby. How your stomach turned when he put you over his lap. So rudimentary, but deeply effective. Somehow, getting spanked by his hand like this hurt more than anything else.
"C'mere," he says, waving you forward, "Come to daddy."
Your heart sinks and flutters simultaneously -- suddenly it's unbearibly hot in his trailer despite the light frost on the ground outside and your bare knees under your corduroy pinafore.
"Ed...c'mon, people are coming over," you say quietly, toying with the hem of your dress, "Can't you punish me later?"
"After you ran that mouth all day? After you showed up here late this mornin' and didn't even call? You broke all my rules," he scolded, "Get over my lap, sweet thing, gotta teach you."
"Please," you whisper, your glassy eyes meeting his, "I'll be good the rest of the night, I promise."
"That gives you way too much leeway. You'll start thinkin' you can get away with everything. You know what they say: spare the rod, spoil the child," he shrugs, "And you're so spoiled as it is. Aren’t you, baby?"
You nod, shifting your weight on your feet. Your skin crawls at the lilt in his voice; you can feel him getting impatient with you.
"So why doesn’t my spoiled little thing come over here and take her punishment, hm?"
You know if you don’t go over there, he’ll make you. His demeanor is so different when he’s like this, so sweet — cooing at you, gentleness even when he’s talking down to you. A soothing balm to help make you feel small, stupid, and needy. Like you can’t do anything without his guidance. He plucks at your emotional set backs as nimbly and expertly as he does his guitar.
“No, I think that’s too hard for you, baby. I'll figure it out.”
“Was that too difficult for you to understand? Why don't we try again.”
“I think you need a break, why don't you let Daddy take care of everything?"
"Let daddy do it for you. You need to learn when to ask for help when you need it."
"We can talk about it when you're not acting like such a little brat, okay?"
You inch over and slide over his lap and even though you know it’ll hurt, it’s so comfortable to let go for him. To let him teach you a lesson. To let it out on the couch cushions in the form of fat tears and whines and screams. Kicking your legs and squirming.
“There’s my good girl,” he murmurs while you get situation on top of him. eddie let’s a warm hand slide over your thigh before pushing your dress up over your hips to your waist, "Knew she was still in there."
Ed takes a moment to admire the softened bruises on your ass when he gathers your panties at the base of it, finally in their last stage of healing from last week's play time. Maybe he could afford to go harder than he expected. Excellent news for him, awful news for you.
“You don’t have to count out loud to me today, angel. Don't think you can count that high,” he teases, calloused hand smoothing over your ass before coming down hard over it with a loud smack ringing in the living room of the trailer.
“Ah-ow!” you yelp, his over the knee spankings just hurt a little bit more than anything else. Maybe it was the embarrassment of the position, the way he played with your mind a little before hand. Something about the crack of his palm against you when you felt dizzy like this was a different type of pain.
What a shame that you loved it so much.
“You know you deserve this, baby,” he says softly, “I don’t like to punish you, but I gotta keep you in line. You really embarrassed me today.”
“M'sorry, daddy,” you frown into the couch, hips jumping at the next strike. A warm little buzz forming on your backside while he continues.
"Are you?" he asks, his hand smacking especially hard against the swell of your ass. The first choke of a sob escapes your chest and he hums with satisfaction, "You don't sound sorry."
"I think daddy's gonna make you very sorry, though," he threats. Eddie takes his time switches his rings over to the hand he's using to spank you, knowing it just adds injury to even more injury. He smiles to himself when you squirm at the feeling of the metal skating across your warm skin.
"Don't like that?" he asks. You shake your head no and he 'tsks' above you, letting his fingers slide between your legs, "You sure?"
"Mmm," is all you can reply, feeling hazy and spacey under his touch. Your stomach tightens at his finger tips grazing your folds, presing slightly to get between them, a pool of slick welcoming them immediately.
"I think you do like that," he whispers headily. Eddie takes his fingers away, eliciting a wanting whimper from you, his chuckle was daunting.
His hand smacks upward and downward on one cheek, then the other, in a consistent rhythm. One, two, three, four, one, two, three four. Hard, sweeping spanks making a bloom of color spread over your skin more and more as he went. He does this for who knows how many minutes, as many as it takes for your legs to start kicking. For the color in your skin to fall to an angry crimson.
"Here we go with the dramatics," Eddie tutts, catching your ankles with his free hand, "What might happen if you don't stay still?"
You rack your brain and he isn't patient, raining down smacks in quick succession on your left butt cheek and then your right. The skin burning underneath his hand.
It comes to you hazily, what he says over and over again when you move around too much -- too many spots that could cause damage if he hits them instead, "I could get hurt," you whine out.
"Good girl," he coos, "Look at you, trying your best to remember -- my stupid little thing."
You can't help but pout at the dig, pouting more when his hand starts up their symphony again.
"Daddy, please," you cry, your hand reaching out to cover your ass, "Please no more."
"Excuse me," he hisses, spare hand now coming up to press your wrist against your back, "You earned this. Be a big girl and take it."
Your face burns when he admonishes you, embarrassment washing over your body. You can't help but struggle against him but he pulls you tight in place, steadying you before he starts again, "Behave."
You can feel Eddie's erection building against your hip, your mouth filling with spit at the thought of it. Maybe he'll fuck you if you just let him get through this part, he usually does. You're still playing afterall, this is just punishment -- you earned this.
Eddie continues, grunting with each stinging hit, as much force as he can into it. His tongue swells in his mouth when it watches the fat of your hips and ass bounce back at his assault. This was a show exclusively for him, the best part about impact play. You know, outside of the crying, and whimpering, and your shining wet pussy between your legs. And the power, fuck. Don't even get him started on the high of all that power and control.
Tears are streaming down your face, mixing with the strings of snot oozing from your nose. You look a mess, just like he wanted and just like he knew you would.
His smacks slow down to one every few seconds, like the end of a popcorn bag in the microwave, before smoothing his hand over your vibrating flesh.
"That was a good warm up, huh?" he asks. Your face pales.
"Wh-what?" you sob out, looking back at him. He smiles, his wolfish 'Master' smile, devilish.
"That was a good warm up, wasn't it angel?" he coos, nails softly grazing your thighs, making you hiss.
"Warm up?" you ask, eyes shining and round. He maneuvers you off his lap, steadying you while your jellied legs find some footing.
"You thought you were gettin' off that easy?" he asks, in that same soft voice, "That's cute."
You pout but it doesn't help, he pushes back on the couch and crosses his legs. Eddie's looking up at you but it still feels like he's looking down.
"Go get the paddle, baby," he instructs, "You know which one."
You swallow hard, shoulders shaking, "But why?"
"Because I said so," he says it like you're stupid. You feel stupid. You feel small.
You trudge to the bedroom and back to the livingroom with the paddle in hand: wooden and carved with holes. Beyond pain on it's own, extra painful with a warm up.
You reluctantly pass it to him and feel sick at how fucking hot it looks in his hand. With a sniffle and bite of your lower lip, you lay back down across his lap, bending at the waist, your toes meeting the floor in your socked feet.
He adjusts your underwear, pulling them back up to cover you, the elastic scratching uncomfortably on you, "How about we keep these on for this part? Does that sound good?"
"Yes," you shudder out, even though it doesn't make a difference. The cotton is so thin.
"What do you say?" he asks, sliding the paddle across your thighs.
"Thank you, daddy," you mumble into the cushion.
"What was that?" he asks, "Gotta speak up."
You know he heard you, he just wants to hear you say it again.
"Thank you, daddy," you say more clearly.
"Still can't hear you," it comes out like a song and the paddle comes sound with a loud SMACK across your thighs.
"THANK YOU, DADDY," you cry out, tears springing from your eyes. The air gets trapped in your throat, sputtering while you try to steady your breath. He gives you a moment to collect yourself, extra careful to check if you're too far gone to know how to tell him to stop.
"We're gonna do twenty, okay?" he asks, "Think you can do that?"
"Yes, sir," you sniffle out, head hanging.
"Twenty's good right?" he asks, you nod, "How come?"
"S'what I d-deserve," you say to him without thinking, fully obedient now.
"Smart girl," he coos, placing the paddle next to him so he can slide a finger into your panties, "Very smart girl."
"P-please," you whisper into the couch cushion, you pray he doesn't hear it but you also wish he would. You hear his pleased hum when his finger tip meets your soaked opening again, pushing further into you. He pumps it into you lazily, enough to watch your hips writhe in time against him -- but it's just not enough.
You know better than to ask for more, not letting more than a disappointed whimper out of your mouth when he takes it away.
“Maybe later, yeah?” he asks, voice mocking your wanton whines, “If you’re a good girl?”
You simply nod, bracing yourself when you hear him pick up the paddle again. Down it comes without warning, knocking the wind out of you once again. The pain shoots down your legs and up your back in in a shivering sting. You cry loudly, blubbering inconsolably into your forearms resting on the couch. This is what he wanted to hear. Thank god the windows were closed.
"Want you to think about this --" He grunts when he brings the paddle down again, "-- when you think about running that mouth to me."
He waits for the pain to almost stop reverberating in your body to bring down the next blow. Eddie never let you take a full breath between blows when you needed to learn something.
"When your in one of these moods you--" the next strike of the paddle elicits a near scream out of you, racked with tears, "-- talk to me about it before you start gettin' mean. You hear me?"
"Y-yes-s-s-s," you sob.
"Are you sorry?" he asks, the next strike is over your thighs.
"I'm sorry!" you yelp before falling back into shuddering cries, "So so sorry, I'm sorry."
He continues on without reprieve: 6, 9, 12, 14 -- or was it 13? -- you're not even counting -- you're not sure if you can count at this point. Your eyes have gone glassy, you're crying so hard that you're drooling.
The sound of a knock at the door takes you out of your haze for a moment but you don't feel Eddie's body tense, he just calls out, "It's open!"
You hear the door open and immediately reach for the hem of your dress to push it down, but Eddie's mean laugh and swat of his hand puts you back in place.
"Hey, they didn't have pumpkin paper plates but they had ghosts and I thought maybe that would be f-- oh," Steve stops with the plates in his hand, looking you both over, eyes lingering briefly on your reddened ass and thighs.
"Sorry to interrupt."
"You're fine," Eddie rolls his eyes, "You can put it all on the counter. Thanks so much, man. Let me know what I owe you."
Steve shakes his head with a little laugh, leaving the bags on the counter full of plates, napkins, and decorations. Listening to you whimper in the other room. Steve had been plenty privy to whatever you and Ed were getting up to. All of the older group was. The first time you showed up to a group hang with bruises was when you both had to come clean immediately -- there were hardly any secrets between the five of you anyway.
Plus, Steve liked learning new things.
Eddie doesn't mind the audience, bringing the paddle down again with new vigor. You try desperate to hold in the cry in your chest but it breaks when he speaks to you.
"What baby, you embarrassed?" Eddie coos, "You didn't have a problem embarrassing me in front of Steve earlier. Just returning the favor."
"You wanna tell him why you're gettin' punished?" he asks, one hand smoothing over your back while the other brings the paddle down again. You shake your head no, embarrassment washing over you in heavy waves knowing Steve is watching you get punished like a school girl.
"I think you should," Eddie continues, "Think it'll help the lesson sink in."
You know you don't have a choice, so you lift your head up mumbling weakly, "Because I was a bad girl."
"Little louder so Steve can hear," he encourages.
"Because I was a bad girl," you repeat. Your face was fuming with a deep blush.
"There we go," Eddie soothes to you quietly, "I think you had enough, sweet thing. Why don't you go wait for me in our room?"
You swallow, ignoring the shooting pain in your backside while you scramble off his lap and down into the hall to the bedroom.
Eddie turns towards Steve while you scurry away, "At least she's self aware."
"At least." Steve agrees, cheeks reddening, "Look I gotta go pick up Elaine, her sister took the car so she can't get over here. I'll probably be around when everyone else shows up though."
"So she's finally her real name and not just 'some girl'?" Ed asks, surprised.
Steve blushes, "Yeah I think she's gonna stick around for a while. She's been um -- really receptive to some new stuff we've been tryin' out."
"Well you're learning from the best, so," Eddie cockily meets his cheek to his shoulder.
"Pfft, okay," Steve rolls his eyes while he walks toward the door, swinging his keys on his fingers, "See you in a little."
Eddie watches him leave, stretching on the couch before getting up and walking slowly over to the bedroom. He slowly opens the door, listening for anything beyond your regular cry or whimper.
"Baby?" he asks, his voice back to normal. There you are on his bed, already in a pair of his sweat pants and a t-shirt. Your pinafore and sweater and socks folded neatly on the end of the mattress. Your makeup stianed face wiped clean with the cold cream and clean face cloths you kept on his dresser.
"Oh, baby," he frowned, "You look so sad."
"I'm sorry," you said, your shoulders curving inward in a sulk, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to take everything out on you today."
"I know," Eddie shuts the door behind him, just in case anyone showed up earlier than expected. He walked over to the bed, barely getting onto it all the way before you found your way onto his lap. Your tear stained face in his neck.
"Do you feel better?" he asked, rubbing circles onto your back and pressing a kiss onto your shoulder. You nod against him.
"I'm sorry," you repeat.
"It's okay," he coos, "I'm sorry, too."
You lean back to look at him and he looks at you with a smile, his big doe eyes warm and crinkling at the ends.
“I love you,” his voice is cozy. Medicine for you bad mood.
“I love you, too,” you respond, leaning in slow while you rest a hand in his cheek. Your lips find home against his and you hear him sigh with relief into it. He deeply reciprocates, mouth desperately meeting yours, hands resting softly in your hair.
“Haven’t gotten to kiss you all day,” he whispers. His next kiss is feverish and needy, pulling you close to him, pressed against his chest.
“I know, I’m sorry. I wanted to, I just…I don’t know,” you explained between breaths.
“S’okay,” he says, leaning back a bit to look in your eyes, “Can we talk about that?”
“Yeah,” you nod, sitting further back on his thighs.
“When we play, or when you make me upset, or if I’m feeling sad or angry - I don’t ignore you, right? I don’t deny you what you want or need unless it’s part of a scene? And even then you can always ask to stop?” he looks hurt when he asks, his hand finding your thigh, giving it a little squeeze.
“No, you always listen. You always communicate,” you say.
“So you have to offer me the same kindness, baby,” he strokes your cheek, “You really hurt my feelings today."
Your eyes water, chest aching, "I know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up high school or -- or act like I didn't care about t-tonight, or your c-car. I do care."
"Shh, shh, shh, I know. I know," he soothes, "But when something's bothering you, even if you don't know what it is -- I need you to communicate that to me. So I can try to help."
This isn't the first time you've had to have this conversation and he can see the defeat in your face.
"We're both learning," he says, pressing a peck to your lips and then your forehead, "We'll do it together."
You nod, resting into his soft hands that have now found your cheeks again.
"And I'm sorry I called you a bitch in the car," Eddie says and you know he means it, "I'll never call you that again."
"I mean, you will," you giggle softly. He melts at the sound.
"I will, but in a different context," he giggles with you, another kiss to your lips, "In the way that you like."
You match his posture, putting your hands on his face, pulling him close to you. Another kiss, slow and sensual, pillowy lips capturing eachother's with anticipation for whatever might come later. Clicks of spit exchanging and tongues dancing floating through the room like music -- their own language.
"I love you," he whispers, his forehead pressed against yours.
"I love you, I love you, I love you," he repeats. He needs you to know after scenes like that, where you're more vulnerable than normal. A real punishment that might make you forget.
At the same right, he needs you to say it back -- and when you do, he sees stars.
"Let me get you patched up, yeah?" he asks. You nod, laying down on the mattress to let him comfort you after such an assault. Feeling much better now that you had a sore ass and a good talk.
After the normal routine of aloe gel and a massage, you let Eddie get the trailer together for movie night while you took a break in the bedroom. Sometimes you needed a little time alone after a scene before you had to go be around people. Plus, he liked decorating by himself.
You can hear people start trickling in: Steve and his lady, Dustin, Robin, Mike, Nancy, their voices tittering their hellos while the screen door swings. You make your way out, padding down the hall in your socks.
"Hi," you croak out, your voice still scratcy from earlier. Eddie comes over to re-welcome you to the real world, leaving a kiss on your cheek.
Dustin looks at you quizically, "Are you okay? You look sad for movie night."
You shrug, about to speak when Eddie butts in, "She'll be alright, Henderson. She just got in a nasty fight with her dad."
You hear Steve snort in the kitchen and roll your eyes before you smile back at Dustin, "I'm okay, thank you for asking."
Eddie fixes you a plate of snacks while you fix him one. Somehow you still haven't realized that you should just get them for yourselves, but there's something sweet about the neutral need to always be caring for each other.
"More sour straws, you're lacking here Munson," you say at the exchange of plates.
"So true," he agrees, turning back around. The rest of the crew walks in, Lucas making a joke that Steve laughs at -- another snort coming out of his nose.
"You sound like a pig Steve," his flavor of the month Elaine laughs. You watch him smile at her, his eyes a little hard, and subtly reach for her chin. He leans in like he's about to kiss her, but before he does he offers a stern, "Watch your mouth."
Her face blooms with heat when their lips meet and you nudge Eddie in the arm, "What're you teaching him, Ed? He's a nice boy."
Eddie tosses you a sly smirk, "He's not as nice as he looks. I promise."
You take your plate from him, sour straws at the right amount, and take your place on the couch. He plops down next to you while everyone gathers in the living room around the TV.
"Day of the Dead, y'all. Let's get into it," Eddie says. He lifts the remote and presses play, turning out the lights at the switch behind your head. His hand falls to your opposite shoulder, rubbing it absentmindedly while the movie begins.
Your eyes meet breifly in the glow of the TV. He offers you a wink before spreading his lips into his regular award winning smile.
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Text
sleeping w/ the mercs [IT IS LIKE THAT]
these are so badddddd bro literally ignore this i just need practice and the mercs are my victims pinky promise i'll get better
yeah the title is the exact same as the tf2 headcanons from my main SO WHAT
if ur under 16 please don't interact 👍🏻
afab reader i’m sorry guys :( gender is totally neutral though
obviously this is under a cut
warnings/includes: MENTIONS OF SYRINGES/NEEDLES, SCALPELS, AND MEDICAL STUFF IN MEDIC'S SECTION!!!!!! AND KNIVES AND BLOOD IN SNIPER'S!!!! these are so bad, pyro is insane, medic is also insane, sniper is depraved, actually everybody's depraved, i'm depraved and also so so sorry
mostly what they're into/how they behave, nothing super reader specific in these ones
Scout:
-he’s got enough experience but he isn’t as good as he says he is, he’s got the spirit though and that’s what matters
-really good with his fingers but he can't find the clit half the time so help him out a bit
-absolutely an ass man but isn’t into anal
-scout usually likes positions where he can easily see/touch your ass (doggy, reverse cowgirl, etc)
-definitely says cringe shit in the bedroom, 100% refers to himself as daddy (which is canon i think?? i remember him having a voice line where he does that, could be wrong tho)
-has tried (and failed) to call you kitten on the regular but reverted back to the usual (still cringy) nicknames he calls you after demo made fun of him
-he never shuts up so the dirty talk is CRAZYYYY
-calls you stuff like doll, baby, babe, and uses pretty girl/boy/baby and babygirl/boy/doll when he's close
-even though he’s a little clumsy with it, he really does like giving oral, just give him a little direction; BUT likes receiving oral even more, sorry abt ur knees babe 💔
-definitely into semi-public sex, he won’t do anything in front of people but you bet your ass he’s finding some alleyway or storage closet to get freaky in
-does get jealous pretty easy and even though he’s usually not too rough with you he is not above manhandling when he sees fit
-the dog tags stay on, do with that what you will
Soldier:
-good GAWD
-literally so mean but mean in a hot way so that makes it okay
-absolutely nickname crazy; most of them aren't very cute or sexy (i.e. cadet, maggot, etc) but cupcake always makes an appearance
-very much into verbal degradation because of course he is, is also very into manhandling and just kinda tossing you around but he doesn't wanna hurt you too bad
-rarely ever fucks on an actual bed, usually it's the nearest wall/table/chair/couch, any surface you could lay/sit on really
-no the helmet is not coming off but that adds to it
-the honey IS going on though, maybe not his full body but it will make an appearance (he’s def into foodplay)
-tiny bit of a size kink, i think soldier is one of the taller, bulkier mercs so there's a very good chance he's much bigger than you in one way or another
-would absolutely be interested in a threesome with demo let's get real here
-very attracted to body hair bc i say so
-likes positions where he's very obviously the one in control/with the power; very into restraint either with some device (handcuffs, rope, etc) or with his own hands
-VERY loud, so good luck with that lmao
Pyro:
-man,,,,
-obviously into temperature and wax play
-the mask and suit do not come off, but pyro has a plethora of toys to use on you instead 😊
-gets off on the idea that he's some faceless person you can't really understand that has complete control over you and your body
-does occasionally lift the mask up just above his nostrils to kiss you, though, scarred lips be damned
-does babble a lot, even though it's all muffled; the nicknames he uses are surprisingly cute, he'll call you stuff like sugarplum, marshmallow, firefly, sugar cube, and other sickly-sweet names
-doesn't like showing you his bare skin/body because of their burn scars, but pyro does enjoy grinding if you wanna help him out that bad
-derives most of his pleasure from making you feel good, though, so he isn't really looking for any type of physical release on his end
-pyro's are kinda short i just can't think of any more rn i apologize 💔
Demo:
-WHAT A MAN 😍😍😍
-#1 lover out of all the mercs get fucked spy
-i think his build is very similar to soldiers, maybe an inch or two taller, so he definitely has the same lowkey size kink
-is also open to a threesome with soldier
-absolutely a service dom but he teases so much
-FAKE SYMPATHY!!!! FAKE SYMPATHY!!!!!!!
-likes when you call him by his name more than any of the cheesy titles dudes usually want their significant other to call them but he is always referring to you by any nickname he can think of; the most popular ones are lamb, sweetheart, lass/lad, my girl/boy/baby and "poor, sweet thing"
-loves talking to you and making you talk back to him even when you're literally on a different planet; makes you tell him what you want him to do even though he knows exactly what you're gonna say
-also slightly into dumbification (not to the extent medic or engineer are, though, he just thinks it's hot)
-very much into face and thigh riding
-foreplay alone could last as long as an hour if he's feeling "mean" at that particular time
-THIGH MAN!!!!!! LET'S GO!!!!!!!!!!
-makes you hold eye contact with him, sometimes the eyepatch comes off 🥴
-likes giving a whole lot more than receiving but he isn't about to turn down a blowjob if you offer
-waking you up with oral, it's his version of breakfast in bed
Heavy:
-and you thought demo was a service dom 🙄
-literally will do whatever you ask him to he does not care, as long as you feel good he's content
-very obvious size kink and it's very easy to exploit, but heavy doesn't take too kindly to teasing (he isn't about to stop you, though)
-speaks mostly in russian so unless you're fluent you can't really understand him but you get the gist of what he's saying by the tone in his voice
-outside of whatever russian bullshit he's spouting out, he calls you his "leetle bunny"
-tries to be gentle with you because of how big he is, but if he's provoked he can and will get wild
-as stated above, he can and will get wild, which includes his dirty talk; russian praise will turn into demeaning english muttered in your ear
-BREEDING KINK !!!!!!!!!!
-doesn't tease you on purpose, but he goes slow enough to where you think he's fucking with you (no pun intended)
-begging is never necessary but it is a guilty pleasure of his
-doesn't ask to receive oral often but watching you struggle with it does kinda turn him on even more
-face sitting extraordinaire, yes he does make the stupid eating sounds like in the game and yes he does it on purpose to try to make you laugh
-LET HEAVY FUCK NASTY GOD DAMN IT!!!
Engineer:
-WHAT A MIGHTY GOOD MAN 😍😍😍
-much stronger than you'd think he is and he does use that to his advantage
-slight temperature play when the gunslinger is involved, it's just a little colder than room temperature but it's a very stark contrast
-loves conflicting his speech with his actions; he'll sweet talk and praise you while he's railing you into next week
-speaking of, he'll call you anything but your name. honeybee, honey, darlin', sweet girl/boy/baby, baby girl/boy/doll, any nickname that sounds hot in a southern accent he's callin you
-he absolutely has a daddy kink but won't tell you unless you have one too and approach him first, chances are you're younger than he is and he doesn't wanna make you think he's a weirdo
-all in all, the dirty talk is INSANEEEEEEEE
-absolutely into dumbification, he knows he's smart and he gets off on the power imbalance when you're babbling about nothing and he's still perfectly present
-also slightly into dacryphilia? it's not attractive when you're crying from pain, sadness, frustration, etc but he likes making you feel so good you're overwhelmed and all you can do is cry for him
-might forget to take the helmet and goggles off, but if you want him to keep them on then by all means he will
-would absolutely abide by the cowboy hat rule (if you don't know what that is, basically if a cowboy puts his hat on your head y'all are fuckin' later on)
-very much into bigger people, the extra chub around the thighs, chest, cheek, and stomach areas are a weakness of his
MEDIC!
-the moment we've all been waiting for
-kinda like soldier in the fact that he's mean in a hot way, but it's less bully-mean and more absolutely deranged mean
-of course he's into degradation and medical play, definitely dacryphilia and dumbification (for similar reasons engineer is), another merc with a slight size kink cause medic is big as hell
-likes to get you on the operation table and trace a syringe or scalpel (or both if he's feeling patient [haha get it]) along your body purely for the fear it evokes from you
-wants to get you scared/vulnerable and that's how he starts his foreplay; totally into the whole predator/prey thing but not in the same way sniper is, medic is more into metaphorical or psychological hunting rather than the actual thing
-FAKE SYMPATHY!!!!!! FAKE SYMPATHY!!!!! FAKE SYMPATHY!!!
-teases, edges, and overstimulates you to the point of tears and gets this stupid smug look on his face while cooing at you
-calls you demeaning names, like pet, but he's got some cute ones he uses too; täubchen, maus, schatz, and liebling (dove, mouse, sweetheart, and darling) are very prevalent in and outside of the bedroom
-if you're okay with it, medic does like to use you as a bit of stress relief when everybody else is getting on his nerves
-is 100% down for a doctor/nurse or doctor/patient roleplay let's get real here
-also into semi-public sex, sometimes he'll leave the medbay door unlocked and slightly ajar purpose just to mess with you
-though he is very rough with you most of the time, he likes to save his more tender moments for when the two of you are in an actual bedroom and not his workspace
Sniper:
-wild. like genuinely doesn't know what to do with himself when he's horny he just goes fucking crazy.
-even though he gets crazy insane, he doesn’t really know what all to do and it frustrates him; he doesn't have much experience when it comes to sexual acts with another person involved so please give him some pointers
-absolutely into knife play come on
-if you have a period, he'd also be down for period sex he does not care about blood in the slightest
-isn't all that nickname-heavy like some of the other mercs here, but he does sprinkle them into his dirty talk. it's usually the same things he calls you outside of the bedroom, like 'roo, darl', and love
-into body worship, giving or receiving. he likes making you feel beautiful and he likes feeling good about himself too
-would definitely want you to suck him off while he does target practice and i know this is such a popular headcanon but come on guys
-another popular headcanon is sniper being into predator/prey dynamics which like,,,come on. it's literally perfect. you're telling me this nutcase dude wouldn't be into scaring the shit out of you by physically hunting you down. it's basically canon idc
-likes biting and leaving marks on your neck/shoulders in very visible areas because he's kind of a possessive guy ngl
-as much as he likes people seeing the aftermath of what he does to you, sniper is a very private person so he really wouldn't be all that into sneaky sex. the closest you'll get is his sniper nest while he does target practice on cease-fire days
Spy:
-despite being an asshole on the regular, he's a very attentive lover
-into body worship but only giving, he already knows he's fine and he wants to make sure you're never insecure about yourself
-bilingual babe 😍 speaks in french so much you can't really understand what he's talking about but he's more than happy to give you a translation
-also has a daddy kink let's get real here
-KNIFE PLAY!!!!!!!!!!
-heavily into power play as well, similar to pyro because he'll keep his clothes (including the mask and gloves) on while you're completely bare to him
-likes buying you lingerie
-likes getting and giving head the same amount, he has no real preference cause it's gonna end in sex every time anyway 🤷‍♀️
-french nicknames ONLY!!!! mon cher (my dear), ma chérie/mon chéri (my darling), amour/mon amour (love/my love), gentille fille/garçon/bébé (sweet girl/boy/baby), mon ange (my angel) [currently using my basic understanding of the french language for evil]
-semi-public and public sex spy does not give a fuck he has a cloaking device for a reason 🙄🙄
-if you don't already have one he will give you an accent kink
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itspyon · 4 months
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how to adapt into dtblr culture for twitter refugees
so you've decided to move here from twitter. welcome and congratulations. this post is basically a big warning that goes THIS ISN'T TWITTER, DON'T BEHAVE LIKE IT IS, LEAVE THAT AT THE DOOR
i'll be teaching you two things, how the site works, and how to adapt your behavior to tumblr ( and really, normal human being ) culture. believe me, it's not that hard and it will actually feel very productive
let's start with the basics and frequent questions
your username can be anything, don't stress about it
your picture can be anything. a lot of us don't even have dteam related stuff up on our profile
your display name doesn't have to be your name. nobody is going to see it when you post, only usernames are visible
check your settings. do it. get familiar with them. turning on and off asks, turning anon off, turning submissions off. click on your blog, go to blog settings, check things there, go to account, your muted things will be there, go to dashboard and customize that. use your settings !!!
yes, pinned posts are fairly important and they tend to be pretty extensive. name age what you post about ( a lot of people here are multifandom !), just don't overshare ( no locations no trigger lists i beg you ). they also usually have a breakdown of your tags at the end
tags
it's a whole thing. some are actually useful. some are just passive commentary
the tags you put on posts ( both when you made the post and when you're reblogging something ) are both global and hosted on your profile. it's why you'll see things like "nameofperson art" rather than just "art". using just "art" will put you in the promoted tag, in this case
you can use spaces on your tags
usually you will tag what type of post you're making ( art, text post, ask post ), and then the contents keep in mind this is how people often mute things, some people tag the current situation, people use and mute ship tags. but this is also how people find things, like the specific asks from one person to another, so "username ask" is commonly used, "irl person ( dream, dnf, etc )" is also seen a lot just watch how others tag things and copy them. nobody will get offended you took their tag formatting, most of us will appreciate properly tagged posts
you do tag when you reblog people. you use tags to comment on things. don't really use replies unless you're, saying thank you to someone or pointing out a spell mistake or asking to add an option to a poll, etc. we don't do replies, just rb your reply
quick reblog and like deets
post popularity is measured in "notes" which is the sum of replies, reblogs and likes. we don't really care much about numbers here and if you start getting crazy about it people will not like it. this is more of a talking and showing site
you can reblog without tags, feel free to
you can hide your likes. you can and should like as many things as you want. they don't alter any algorithm, since there's none. a like is a "i saw this post" notification to the poster
actually posting
people talk a lot. a fucking lot, and it's something you will have to get used to, because it's very different from twitter
there are no qrts. callouts are looked down upon. breathe. if you don't like something MUTE IT DON'T POST ABOUT IT, because no one is going to listen to any callouts. you will have to learn to live with the fact people like things you don't. this will, with time, make you feel very free
the bulk of posting here is asks, as you might notice soon. asks are fun and encouraged. just don't name drop if you're talking about drama please ?
don't be scared to send asks off anon, this is how people will find you and get to know you really. people are also more likely to reply to you
block bait anons. yes you can block anons. yes it will block every blog they make
culture time
i've said this. tumblr is unserious. drama here is approached very differently and with several less layers of panic. you will see death threats. you will see slurs ( said in non derogatory ways ). you will see jokes about serious topics. you will see people say "i didn't like this" and nobody will care
tumblr is a community of individualism. you will like your own things within the thing we share we like. you might not like dream's music, you might not find irl streams entertaining, as long as you're fucking normal about it ? nobody will care and you're free to express your opinions. people will even come ask you about it and just have a chat. we're here for the same content to some degree
tumblr is also a bunch of people who understand they like another bunch of people. that none of the streamers have stopped being human. so you might see people defend things that, maybe, you'd not have thought to defend before. maybe you're even uncomfortable seeing them defending it. this is something you will experience a lot, and you'll learn to properly deal with it as time passes
because again. no one does callouts here unless it is extremely bad. no one cares if you don't really like them. and they also accept people might and will not like them. and that is fine. and that doesn't make either person horrible. you're just different people. and you don't even have to interact
you want to make friends ? ask people things, compliment people's work, genuinely attempt to make conversation. this is not an impersonal website the way twitter is. people don't care about your opinions because they care about you, and you are more than what you don't like
the more positive and jokey and interactive you are the more people will talk to you. there's no "hitting the algorithm", there's no "engagement", it's just people talking to people. so don't be a neg posting bot, and be a person
you will learn to be less miserable. you learn to stop giving a shit and just do what makes you happy. they cannot get you here. there's no qrts. the few antis you'll find can be blocked and you'll never have to directly interact with one. don't be mean to the people in your own community, even if you disagree
again, you are more than what you don't like. learn to be what you like instead. and leave the dooming at the door
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get0sfav · 4 months
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MEANIE! | ryomen s.
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↳ ryomen sukuna x f!reader
assigned to be the resident bad boy's lab partner who also happens to be your friend's twin brother? so cliche! loosing your virginity to him? even more cliche! ugh!
18+ Minors DNI!
warnings; university au, mean!sukuna, virgin!shy!reader, sukuna is yuji's twin brother, superr cliche, ooc sukuna, cussing, teasing, dub-con/ish, pet names (good girl, brat, doll, etc.), name-calling (slut, whore, fucktoy), degradation, fingering, ass spanking, biting, nipple play, slight groping, mentions of f!masturbation, size difference, doggy style, vaginal penetration, unprotected sex (sukuna convinces reader to let him hit raw😔🤚🏼), multiple orgasms (2), choking, creampie, breeding kink, yuji catches the two of you🤓, not proofread.
wc; 2.7k
a/n; writing this made me realise how I was not built for this shit p.s this is so horrible but I had to post it because it was supposed to be up yesterday but eh, anyways, I promise the next fic would be a lot better thank you for reading. also lmk if anyone wants to be tagged in these fics !
tags(?); @satocidal <3
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A familiar set of pink hair caught your sight, and if you didn't know better, you'd assume it was Yuji. But it wasn't, because you weren't in the cafeteria, waiting for him on a bench, but rather in a class he didn't take. No, It was his brother- Ryomen Sukuna. They looked identical for the most part, except, they often didn't. Where Yuji had a soft face, adored with the biggest smile ever, his brother had a sharp, ink clad face with an ever present scowl on it.
Luck of course wasn't on your side when you got assigned as his partner. Yuji wasn't happy either, because no way in hell would he want you, one of his best friends to be anywhere near his brother. Not like you had a say in any of this, but this project was worth about 40 percent of your grade, and you needed to get an A+ on this one. Your last project went horribly because of your last partner, and you weren't about to let another lazy, or rather intimidating partner let you drag your grades down once again.
Sukuna was sat beside you, occupying nearly 2 whole seats with the way he was spreading his legs. He seemed the least bothered about what the professor was saying, didn't bother to make notes or anything. That automatically meant that you were going to take notes for the both of you.
Great.
Chewing at your pen while the lecture hall filled with low chatter of people talking to their partners, discussing whatever topic they were assigned, on contrary to you and your partner, who was still the least bothered about anything.
Building up the courage to finally talk to him, you turn around to face him, but your attempt to speak up was cut off by his intimidating glare, "You're gonna do all the work, I'll pay you- or whatever. I don't got no time for this shit." He scowled, looking back towards his phone. "I- but-" The words died down in your throat with another look from him.
The class was dismissed soon enough, as he threw his bag over his shoulder, giving you a look that you couldn't quite understand, "Well?" He raised a brow, the way he stared down at you from his height was quite intimidating. And when he put one foot forward, his gaze only became more imposing.
"C'mon, speak up."
"Well-" You took a deep breath, trying to sound a little brave while speaking "Well, what I meant to say is that I can't complete the project by myself- it's way too big, and it's worth like 40 percent of our grade."
"Then I guess you'll fail" He chuckled, bringing his phone out and ignoring whatever else you had to add onto the matter. He did not want to be bothered. He turned to face you, the most threatening thing you could think of was now looking at you, and he had no intentions of moving. It was quite the sight.
You simply backed down, almost shriveling into the little bubble you came out from. Well that was a shit show. No wonder his brother didn't like him. Hell, moments like these made you wonder how the hell him and Yuji are related, moreover, twin brothers.
"What do you expect me to do? Babysit you? You know how to write, how to research, I'm sure you can figure it out." Sukuna grumbled, before returning his eyes to the screen of his phone. He clearly didn't want to be bothered, but he also didn't want to give the dean another reason to get on his ass, so he'd maintain the conversation. For now, atleast.
"I wouldn't have bothered you if I could do it alone-" You stated, chewing on your fingernails "It requires two people, and I don't think I count as two so." The words simply spurted out of your mouth, and you had no idea where you got the confidence to even speak like that in the first place. Maybe it was because you had already decided that it was A+ or nothing, and there was absolutely no way anyone was going to stand between you and your grade.
"Oh? And why can't you do it alone?" Sukuna asked, finally turning his gaze from his phone up to you.
His gaze was almost threatening, as if he was sizing you up. Which he was. After a moment of silence, and a slight shake of his head, "Fine." He said, turning on his heel and walking away. He did not, however, wait for you to follow, even though the way he ended the conversation implied that he wanted you to follow him.
"Oh-" Was it really that easy? Or was there a catch to his agreement. Whatever it was, you were sure you could handle it, but as for now, you quickly stuffed your things in your bag, rushing after him.
"And one more thing" He called over his shoulder, still continuing to walk. His voice sounded stern, unamused. It didn't have the same warmth and softness to it that Yuji had. Sukuna sounded cold, threatening and had a slight edge to it.
"We're not partners. Don't talk to me more than you need to."
"Okay" It wasn't as if you wanted to talk to him either, but it wasn't a big deal to affirm what he had said. "Well? Should we go to the library or somewhere else?" You asked awkwardly, fiddling with the hem of your sweatshirt.
"I do whatever I want, and you're coming with. We're going to study at my place." Sukuna did not go to the library to study- hell, he didn't even study, and definitely not in a pair. He didn't even acknowledge you until you spoke, but you would have to follow anyway. He turned to walk, expecting you to fall in line.
"Alright..." You spoke under your breath, following him back to his house. You had been there a couple of times when you hung out with Yuji, Megumi and Nobara, but you had never seen Sukuna around at that time, and you had a slight hint that most of the times he was out partying, or getting wasted one way or the other.
Atleast that's what Yuji had told you.
His and Yuji's apartment was close to the campus, and that's where you two went. He crept inside the house, removing his shoes at the door and you did the same. The same cold voice spoke once again, and you were left with no choice but to follow him to his room.
The lights were off, and the place was lit by a window that let the sun shine inside.
"You can sit on the bed." Not bothering to say anything else, he threw his bag on the floor, choosing to sit on his desk and working on his PC. Surprisingly, he actually knew what the topic was, and had already collected some material regarding it.
"kay" You nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed as you placed down your bag beside you, taking out your own laptop to work.
The two of you worked in silence, the only sound echoing in the room was the typing sounds of keys, or the occasional sigh that escaped his lips.
He continued, rolling his neck to ease up some tension, he seemed to work in silence, only calling your name when he needed something from you.
After a couple of hours, Sukuna pushed his chair back, stretching his arms out. He had finally finished and it was, rather impressive. Sukuna's writing skills were, to say the least, superb.
"Are you nearly done yet?" He stood up from his chair, walking to stand beside you, leaning down a little to see what you were doing on your screen.
"Yeah, I'm almost done. Could you just mail me everything you've written? I'll compile it and print it out and maybe tomorrow we can work on actually doing the project practically, since we're almost done with the theoretical part?" You spoke in a soft tone, looking at him, waiting for his response.
*He stared back down at you, for about a whole minute, his gaze was almost intimidating. "Check your email." He sighed, standing back straight to stretch his arms once more. You nodded, checking your email just as he asked, only to find the work you needed already there in your inbox. Wasn't he efficient.
"Oh, well, thanks. I think we're done for the day, right? I guess we'll meet tomorrow then?" You acknowledged, before packing up your stuff in your bag, giving him a curt nod, a way of saying 'thank you.' He simply gave you a quick look, probably his way of telling that he heard you. With that, you darted out of his room and towards the font door, without sparing another glance towards him.
As you exited his apartment, you realised that you may or may not have left your phone on his bed. Dreading to face his gaze once more, you needed your phone to get home, so, with sweaty palms, you knock on his door once, waiting for him to open it. The door flew open, with Sukuna's annoyed expression, eyebrows crossed in annoyance, "What the hell do you want now brat?"
"I- I think I left my phone inside." You gulped, and he simply lets out a grunt of annoyance, opening the door just enough for you to slip in, which you do quickly, rushing to his room where you previously sat to find your phone. Luckily, it was easily spotted, kept on the nightstand. You quickly pick it up and pocket it, turning around to find him leaning on the door frame with the same cruel eyes of his.
Refusing to make eye contact with him, you try to swiftly exit the room, but fate had other plans for you. Tripping on whatever invisible obstacle that was placed in your path, you fall. On Sukuna.
A yelp escapes your mouth, thankfully, his reflexes were quick, but not quick enough, causing the two of you to fall on the floor, him taking the most of the collison. You're way to afraid to even open your eyes, because you knew you'd be met with the most deathly glare from the man beneath you. What makes things even worse, you were basically stradling his lap, hands on his chest, and let's not forget- his hands, on your ass. Your cheeks turn crimson at the realisation, as you squeezed you eyes shut, hoping that maybe, somehow a strike of thunder would evaporate you from the world.
You're frozen in place, not being able to do anything as you await the meanest string of cusses ever heard, probably even a shove too, but no. What you hear is much, much scarier. A chuckle. A chuckle from the Ryomen Sukuna. "What's got you blushing like a 'fuckin virgin eh?" His chuckle resonated in the silent room, making heat creep up your entire body. You weren't sure whether it was from embarassment or something entirely different.
"Aw, you like my hands on your ass brat?" He teased further, slightly squeezing your ass in between his hands, eliciting a gasp from your lips, your eyes flowing open, only to see a smug smirl on his face. You were sure at this point, your entire face was red, and maybe, just maybe he was right. You just might like his hands on your ass.
Seeing your reaction, he pushes you so you were properly stradling his lap now, squeezing your ass once more, this time a little harder. "Let me guess- y're a virgin?" He concluded, from the looks you were giving. Was it really that obvious? Well, there's no point in lying anyway. You nod slowly, as he barks out a laugh, causing you to flinch a little, "Fuckin hell," He shook his head, the smirk still on his face, "Your cunt must be fucking tight, hm?"
His words made you shudder, and god you'd be lying if you said his words didn't give you the tingling feeling in your lower stomach. "Hah. Tell me this then, what would happen if i did," He gripped your ass tightly, and without putting in any effort, he lifted you up along with himself, causing you to mewl. Your legs were now hanging beside him, his hands still on your ass as he walked and thre you on his bed, quite a bit violently for your liking.
"W-What are you trying to do?" Your voice came out meekly, but he simply chuckled once more. "let's say; if i were to do, this," He moved closer to you, his hands gripping at your waist, pulling you closer to him, slowly snaking his hands under your shirt, his cold hands feeling electrical on your bare skin as you bit back a hiss, "And then, this," His hands were moving up and down your waist, inching closer and closer to the hem of your bra, "Do you like this?" He smirked, now enveloping his finger around your waist, pulling you in a way that you were laying on you back, with him on top of you.
Fuck him and his annoying, good looking, smug face. You never found him to be even remotely attractive before, so why were you dripping in your panties then? Was it your touch-deprived brain feel so turned on from finally being touched by someone else other than your own fingers? Probably.
Almost like he could read your mind, his skilled fingers traveled to the hem of your pants, raising his eyebrows, his way of asking if you wanted it. Not a single word came out of your mouth, breath hitching in your throat. You weren't sure yourself, whether you wanted this or not, but he took your silence as approval, pulling down your pants in an instant, followed by the removal of your shirt as well. It all happened so quickly that there was no time to process it, before his tongue was inside your mouth, while his hands roamed around your underwear clad body. You moaned softly in the kiss, his experienced lips guiding your own, his tongue exploring your mouth. Messy, sloppy and rough. He didn't stop kissing you, wanting to go on forever.
He breaks the kiss, a string of saliva connecting both of your lips and the sight makes the sensation in your lower stomach even stronger, feeling yourself growing wetter and wetter every moment.
You want to say something, anything at all, but you trail off, your throat feeling dry when his fingers tease along the line of your jaw, down to your chin. Tipping it up, he leans in and leaves a warm kiss on your throat, trailing lower, lower and lower until he reaches the valley of your breasts, fingers travelling to your back to unclasp the hook of the bra, throwing it away somewhere along the rest of your clothes. He bites down on the sensitive skin just about your left nipple, before lapping it with his tongue. His free hand plays with your other nipple pinching and pulling at it.
Each and every action he does causes a new sound to erupt from deep within you, the way you responded made him go wild. There was just something about virgins that made him lose his mind. The way they responded from just the slightest touch- or how wet their cunts get from just kissing. But he'd have to admit, you were his favorite by far. It wasn't just you that responded to him, it was your whole body, wanting more and more from him. He loved it.
His fingers brush over your clothed folds before he cups your mound. Grinding the heel of his palm against you gently, you roll your hips up into his touch, rubbing against his hand, "God.. Do you feel that doll, feel how soaked you are? getting my hand wet by just rubbing it over your pantie, tch, I bet you'd stain my sheets from just how wet this little pussy is." Closing your eyes shut at his words, you feel yourself leaning more and more into his touch, wanting nothing more than for him to touch you, directly.
Eager pants leave you when his fingers teasingly dip between your folds through the thin material of your panties. The fabric is damp already and as he teases you with touches that are entirely too gentle for your rising desperation, you find yourself whining under his cruel touch. He simply chuckles, "tch, now, now, it's not nice to get all eager, you should be thankful to me." His actions get more cruel, as he does nothing but play with your folds from over the fabric.
Satisfied with how you’re whining underneath him, he slides his fingers to the hem of your panties, pulling them down with a snap against your skin, retreating to keep them in the drawer of his bedside stand. The air hits your wet cunt, causing you to shiver, as you push yourself on your elbows, watching him look at your cunt with greedy eyes. Spreading your legs further apart, two of his fingers dip into your hole and he is pleased to find it welcoming him into your tight heat. A loud moan slips past your lips, as you feel his fingers dip inside you.
This was way better than any time when you had touched yourself on your own, his two fingers stretching you out better than anything. The length of his fingers caused you to jerk, feeling the slightest bit of pain from how long and thick they were, small tears forming in the corner of your eyes "Shitttt look at you" He grunts, and you look up at him, only to see him palming the tent in his pants, "You're nearly crying from my fingers, how are you gonna take my cock doll?" He chuckles cruelly, picking up the pace of his fingers inside you.
Your walls pulse around him and you arch your body into him when he curls the digits up and rubs exploratively within your pussy, trying to find the spot that makes you see stars.
He's too rough, adding a third finger and pushes all three of them into you down to the knuckle. This tears a gasp from your throat and you buck your hips up into his touch, over and over again, as you feel the strength leave your legs. You were seeing stars now, eyes closed shut, gasps and moans leaving your mouth. He loved the sight, continuing his pace, the knot in your stomach getting tighter and tighter.
"Su-Sukuna, 'm gonna cum-!" Your fingers grip the sheets beside you, your entire body shaking from the intensity and quickness of his fingers, moaning his name over and over again, "Good girl, good fucking girl, cum for me" He smirks, adding his thumb to rub circles on your clit, a yelp flies from your mouth as you're a sweaty mess under his touch. With a few more pumps from his fingers, you're yelling out his name, knuckles white from how hard you had been gripping the sheets as he guides you through your high, the intense wave of pleasure hitting hard, head hitting the plush mattress as your arms give out, and everything seemed a little dizzy around you.
He retreats his fingers, causing your cunt to clench around nothing. You hear him zipping down his pants, chuckling dryly. "Cmon slut, I ain't done with you yet." His hands grab at your waist, flipping you over so that your head was pressed against the mattress, and your ass was facing him. Huffing, you turn around to see him, eyes widening when you're met with the sight of his cock instead.
It was long, not too long but longer than the average one you saw in porn. He was girthy too, multiple veins running down to the tip of dick. The tip was flushed red, leaking with pre-cum, his hand grabbing the base of it. What caught your eye was that the tattoos that decorated his entire body ended just where his dick started.
"Aren't you going to use a- a condom?" You objected, slightly biting your lip. He simply scoffs, "Trust me, you don't want to use a condom for your first time doll, it's just more painful." He shrugs, his finger collecting the pre cum from his tip before pumping his hand up and down on his entire length. He looks at you with his eyebrows raised and a slight pout, "If you're that worried I'll buy you morning after pills alright?" He sighs, before aligning the tip of his cock with your already sensitive cunt, causing you to shiver.
One of his hands holds your waist, while the other grips your ass, slapping it twice and kneading the soft flesh, before he starts pushing more and more of his dick inside you, grunting every time your walls pulse around him.
You're holding back tears from how painful it was feeling, biting down on your lip hard enough to draw some blood. He notices how tense you are, massaging the small of your back, "Relax, it's going to be worse if you're tensed up, brat." His grip tightened against your hip, and just when he was almost inside you, he bottomed out, pulling your hips to meet his torso, eliciting a loud cry from you, and a drawled out grunt from him.
*"Fuck you're so tight" He moans, throwing his head back, giving you a moment to adjust to his length, tears spilling from your eyes. Carefully, he starts moving. You lean your head back, your jaw dropping open and a moan leaving your throat. The way his cock stretches your walls out, pain and pleasure are mixed together, "'s to big sukuna!" He ignores your cries, gripping tightly against your hit as he starts to pick up his pace, the pain slowly turning into a pleasurable feeling.
He pulls back totally, leaving only the tip inside your cunt before ramming inside. You cry out with pleasure, clenching your walls around his cock as he thrusts in and out of your pussy with no mercy. His hand which was previously gripping your waist grabs your left tit, groping and pawing at it, pinching the nipple over and over again. The bed shakes underneath you and sounds of skin slapping against each other resonate in the room. The scene was so lewd, your pussy making squelching sounds every time he thrusts a little harder, hitting the sweet spot within you.
Every so often the squelching nosies of your pussy can be heard as Sukuna thrusts his cock inside of you. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, mouth gaping open as loud moans and whimpers leave your throat. He was too rough, too rough to be your first time, but there was this thrill you got every time he bullied past your walls, hitting deep inside you.
He grunts, his fingers trailing up your back and to the nape of your neck, before he grips it hard, pulling you back so that your back was against his chest. His hand now held your throat from the front, and the new angle made you feel that he was inside your stomach, thrusting harder and harder.
Sukuna watches as his cock slides in and out of you, filling you up with pleasure. Sinful whimpers and cries leave your throat, strained from the hand wrapped around your throat. He could get used to the scene, watching how your tits bounced up and down with every mean thrust of his, how your hands desperately tried to find something to grab a hold of. Oh how he loved this.
You moan, feeling your mind shut from the pleasure, and how strongly the feeling of pleasure was creeping up. You were going to come again, "Sukuna ah- ah shit! I'm- I'm gonna come!"
"Not yet" He grunts, breath fanning over your ear as his thrusts become sloppier, "Not yet" his words are drawled out, "Gonna fill you up, yeah, take it like the good whore you are mhm?" He whispers, licking your ear and nearly sending you over the edge, "Sukuna pl-please! I-I need to-" "Shit- fuck, cum on my dick then" You felt hot, sticky ropes of his cum filling you up, as he thrusts once more, feeling everything empty out in you.
It's a lot, oozing out from your sore, abused cunt. The two of you pant heavily, His fingertips give your throat a light squeeze as he starts to roll his hips back, and you drop to the mattress, feeling more than euphoric, stars, moons, the entire universe clouding your thoughts. You were on cloud 9, even though your core was still shaking, even if he had fucked his cum deep inside you. It didn't matter, it was all too ecstatic, the daze you felt better than any high anyone could have ever experienced. You heard him chuckle, feeling his hands press on your worn out and shaky thighs, almost as if massaging the sore muscles.
It's bad to set expectations from him though, because all he did was use his thumb to collect his cum that leaked out of your hole to your thighs, pushing it all back inside. Giving your ass one last slap he stood up, and got dressed in just his sweatpants, and just then, you heard your name being called.
Your eyes widen as you realise who it was, turning around to see Yuji standing in the doorway, his eyes wide and an expression of disgust on his face.
"Get out you measly brat" Sukuna groaned, pushing his hair back before slamming the door in poor Yuji's face.
This just got a lot awkward, didn't it?
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fleurriee · 10 months
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pairing ; neteyam x fem!reader
summary ; you and neteyam had been mates for a little while now, and you'd decided to take your relationship slow, not wanting to rush into things, wanting to bask in one another for a while longer. but, they say the great mother always has a plan for each of her children, and yours happens to take you down a path you hadn't seen coming, one where you and your mate have to take the journey together, as you slowly start to add new, little additions to your ever-growing family.
word count ; 11.1k so far
themes ; fluff, angst, smut, pregnant!reader, mother!reader, father!neteyam, established relationship (mates)
warnings ; mentions of sickness, worrying thoughts of not being good enough, mentions of experiencing abdominal pains, overbearing neteyam (??), descriptions of giving birth, feelings of guilt, etc. explicit content: more detail in specific chapters. will be adding on as chapters come out.
author’s note ; originally, these were only supposed to be short drabbles... and then i got invested & i already have like 10 or so chapters with their general ideas. so, i've decided to just compile them altogether like this bc im so excited to explore everything deeper. i'll always be posting little drabbles & what not about this little family every now and again, so if anyone has any ideas, let me know!!
main masterlist request a fic! dad!neteyam tag
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main chapters:
➸ 001. change in plans
➸ 002. protection duty
➸ 003. wanted desires
➸ 004. his girls
➸ 005. sleepless nights and full days
➸ 006. daddy-daughter time
➸ 007. accidental scares
➸ 008. a day just for me and you
➸ 009. one more little nub
➸ 010. untilted
➸ 011. the new generation
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extra content:
➸ neteyam hunting for your family
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feelbokkie · 5 months
Text
[8:39 PM]
☀️Feelbokkie M.list☀️
genre: fluff drabble
pov: 2nd person
description: You decided to ask your boyfriend an innocent question. You didn't expect him to answer so honestly.
pairing: bf!Seungmin x gn!reader (reader wears makeup)
warnings: swearing (just one!)
word count: 476
©feelbokkie (2023) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.
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"Seungmin, when do you think I'm prettiest?"
"I'm not falling for that trick." He answers without wasting a second.
Both of you got home for the day around the same time and have been relaxing on the couch together in silence. You were scrolling through tiktok, showing Seungmin ones you thought were funny, while he hummed quietly and read. You only stopped scrolling because you saw a new trend where people would ask their partners when they thought they were the most attractive, pretties, handsome, etc. It made you curious to see what Seungmin's answer would be.
"There's no trick. I'll even tell you what my answer would be for you. But only after you answer. Please? I wanna know." You get up from his side and face him. He presses his lips together and stares at you. You're not sure if he's considering answering or trying to think of an answer. Maybe he just thinks you're stupid for asking the question in the first place.
"I think you're prettiest the second you take off your makeup." He says after a moment of silence.
"What?" You're taken aback by his answer. You want to laugh but you're not sure if he's actually joking or not. You know that if he's being serious and you laugh it'll hurt his feelings and he'll immediately retract his statement saying something along the lines of, 'I don't find you pretty at all. You're really ugly.'
"You're really pretty when you put your makeup. You do it really well and it suits you the way you do it," He closes his book and turns to face you more directly, "But I think you look best bare faced. It's my favorite version of you. I don't know, it's just my preference maybe. And I like watching you take off your makeup. It's almost like opening up a present on Christmas. Watching you go from one beautiful version of yourself to the most beautiful version makes me really happy-- Hey, why are you crying?"
"B-because, that is the sweetest thing you've ever said to me!" You blubber. You can't help but crying at Seungmin's answer. He had such a soft voice and bright smile while he was talking, it made you realize how much he really loves you. And how much you love him back.
"I'm sure I've said sweeter things," Seungmin brings his left hand to your face and wipes away your tears with his right hand.
"I don't care. This is number one now. I was going to say you look prettiest when you smile but that sounds lame in comparison." You sniffle.
"If you said it, it wouldn't be lame."
"I will cry again,"
"You also look pretty when you cry." He adds, smiling.
"I'm about to become so fucking beautiful in a second if you don't stop being sweet."
Buy me a coffee?
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velvetm00light · 5 months
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Taken
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gif: pinterest dividers: @benkeibear, @mariariley, @haerinism
Chapter Two of Save Me
Previous Chapters: one
Word Count: 3.7k
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader
Summary: You and your team at the BAU come to the disturbing realization that you're the final target of a brutal serial killer. Without any leads, your team determines you need to be the one to draw him out. As you sit alone in your apartment for hours, on edge, you can't help but want your coworker, Spencer, to be there with you. But, is your little crush enough to get you through the upcoming torture?
Warnings: Mentions guns, sexual assault, murder, serial killer, torture, stalking, physical harm, kidnapping, fear. In future parts, will mention vivid torture, PinV, oral, domxsub situations, grief, bondage, physical harm, etc.
A/N: I'm actually enjoying writing this soo much. I hope you all are enjoying reading it! I'm going to write the next chapter in both (y/n) POV and Spencer's POV, so I'll probably post both at the same time!
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YOU CAN'T HELP BUT fidget in your seat at the round table as the rest of the team takes their seats and waits for Hotch's word to begin. You couldn't bring yourself to be in the same room as them as they discussed different ways for you to lure him out, unable to listen and play out those possible scenarios out in your head. Spencer at first fought against your wishes for him to discuss with the team, but all you could do was look into his sad eyes with yours and tell him, "I need someone who is going to fight for me. I trust that you will know when enough is enough." He stopped fighting then and did as you requested.
He was the first to arrive back at the round table, immediately taking the seat next to yours, not even hesitating to give you his hand. You took it greedily, needing any kind of human contact to keep your mind grounded, bonus points because it was him.
"Let's get started." Hotch announced, and you noticed that no one would meet your gaze directly as your eyes wandered to your friends around the table. Your heart sank into your stomach and you had a feeling the discussion they had was a hard one. You can't imagine it being easy for your friends to discuss the best way to capture a brutal serial killer by using your life without actually endangering it.
"(Y/), tonight you're going to go home as normal. We have to assume he watches your every move so he cannot know that we're aware of you being his final target. We obviously will not leave you unguarded, Rossi and I will sit down the street from your apartment, Morgan and Reid will sit in the back of the parking lot so they can see anyone who exits and enters. If he's not bold enough to do anything tonight, we will simulate a day of errands for you, each of us posted where you go."
A chill runs down your spine. It's hard to believe you're about to be sent home and expected to act completely normal. To sit in your apartment alone, just waiting for him to try to break down your door or draw you out.
"You'll let me know every hour how you're doing and call Morgan or Reid if you notice anything since they'll be closest. If it makes you feel more comfortable, we can send someone ahead of you to replace your apartment security guard so someone with a little more training is there."
"Yes, please. I think that'll help." You almost whine. The more you sit here, the less you want this conversation to end because you want to avoid going home at absolutely all costs right now. You know you can't push it off forever or else you risk other women's lives. Before the meeting ends, JJ meets your eyes. "I promise you, we will find him."
"We're going to get this sick son of a bitch," Morgan adds. The rest of the team chimes in and you feel grateful to being going through this with a support system by your side. It makes the tight knot in your stomach loosen a little, realizing that you know you're safe with them. You know your entire team would stay up for days on end to catch this guy, and wouldn't allow themselves a moment of relaxation knowing you're unable to sleep or feel safe in your own home.
Hotch sends an agent to your apartment before you to simulate security guards changing shifts. You hope this will be enough, but something deep in your stomach twists anyway.
Before Reid leaves with Morgan to get to your apartment before you, he pulls you into the kitchen - a public place, but with enough cover to make your body heat. The thought of getting caught doing something scandalous sends a shiver up your spine but you quickly chastise yourself. Your life is in danger, now is not the time for fantasies.
"Can I ask you to do something for me?" He asks softly, his face looks battered from stress and you're sure you look the same. "Of course."
"Can you text me too? To let me know you're safe."
"Of course I will." You try to give him your best smile, but it falls flat. His care is warming, but it's hard to feel anything other than absolute fear at the moment.
"You're going to be okay," he promises. He abruptly pulls you into an embrace and you waste no time relaxing into his chest. He smells of almond and lavender. You take a deep breath, trying to memorize the smell of him. Your embrace ends too quickly and he leaves you standing alone in the kitchen.
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After a torturous drive home, you pull into the parking lot of your apartment. You quickly scan your surroundings, making sure to wait an extra moment before exiting the car to see if another car pulls in. You spot the car Reid described to you sitting in the corner in the back of the parking lot and you let out a relieved sigh. This whole situation is terrifying and ridiculous all at once. You remember Hotch's words and get out of your car, trying your best to act as if you aren't completely afraid for your life and you're not about to spend the entire night rechecking your door and window locks, making sure all your hidden guns are reachable and in place.
You pass the agent posed as a security guard and trying not to draw attention to yourself as you head down the left hall towards the elevator to your apartment. You would be out of your complete mind to take the stairs in this situation, but you're unsure if an elevator might actually be worse if he were to randomly enter it.
The elevator stops with a jolt and opens on your floor. You take a cautious peak out and check down the hallway left and right before exiting. You quickly make it to your apartment door, looking back to make sure there's no one in the hallway. If you're lucky, he might not know what exact apartment you live in, but then you realize with despair that if he's been watching you for however long, he could have easily seen you enter and exit your apartment multiple times.
You fumble with your keys as you try not to act panicked and open your door. You swiftly enter and lock it immediately behind you, making sure to lock the deadbolt and put the chain on as well. You loose a deep sigh and your eyes widen at the fact that you still might not be safe yet. You didn't even think about the fact that you'd have to check your apartment when you got here to make sure he wasn't already waiting for you.
You quietly pull the gun from the holster on your side and slowly work through your apartment, turning on every light and lamp possible, locking every single window you walk past, checking inside your bedroom closet, the kitchen pantry, the small storage closet just outside your bedroom, and even behind the shower curtain. Once you've decided that there's no possible place for him to hide, you finally feel your muscles relax. You place your gun back in your holster, unable to feel safe without it by your side.
You grab yourself a glass of water and some snacks and decide to stay in the living room. You're able to keep an eye on the door and balcony simultaneously. You don't risk turning the TV on or listening to music to relax you. You need to be at complete high alert until your team catches this son of a bitch.
Time goes by agonizingly slow as you try to keep yourself awake and entertained. A full pot of coffee sits on the counter for you to refill as the night goes on, although you're unsure if you'll even need it. The fear is enough to keep your blood pumping hard through you. You try to play card games with yourself and practice some card tricks Spencer taught you when you first joined the Bureau.
You aren't able to keep your attention on one task for too long, your fear pulling your eyes to scan every inch of the room. You decide to risk sneaking a peak through your balcony curtains. You look out from the side, just barely moving the fabric over so no one would notice a disturbance in the curtains from the outside. After deciding the coast is clear, you recheck the balcony door lock and do a walk through of your apartment once again, checking locks, hiding spots, your gun always close by.
The first hour passes and when your phone buzzes it just about makes you jump completely out of your skin. You reach into your pocket to pull it out and quickly read a text from Hotch, asking for an update. You reply to let him know that everything's normal so far, all possible access points are locked and you've gone through your entire apartment in intense detail.
You remember the promise you made Spencer and text him as well, basically explaining the same thing you told Hotch.
Me: im scared spence
Spencer: I know, that's okay. You're brave, remember?
Me: im trying really hard to be. i can't even turn on the TV or focus on anything long enough without getting worried im going to miss something and he's going to catch me off guard.
Spencer: You're the strongest person I know, don't let him control you. These offenders love control and making you feel helpless.
Me: he is controlling me though. i cant even imagine sleeping, im jumping at every car door being shut, every car horn from the street, every bug at my window. even if we catch him, will the fear ever go away?
The text bubble appears and disappears a few times. You start to wonder if maybe something happened, if they caught someone trying to get into your building when your phone buzzes in your hands.
Spencer: I think we both know the statistics. But, I promise that I will do everything I can do ease the fear and be there for you when it's too much.
You begin to get teary eyed at his promise. Never in your life have you felt cared for or protected. It was always kill or be killed and you fought for your life since you were a child, just trying to survive in a world destined to chew you up and swallow you.
Me: thank you spence. that means more to me than i think you'll ever understand. you mean more to me than you'll ever understand.
You set your phone down on the table next to you, feeling jittery after sending that text. You deleted it and rewrote it about 5 times, but if your life is in danger, why hold back? You also think about how he might try to profile you and believe you're forming an attachment to him due to trauma bonding or transference.
You let out an aggravated sigh and rub your face with your hands. This has complicated your life in just about every way possible and you promise yourself that if you ever get your hands on the man that feels like he can make you cower away, locked in your apartment, you'll make him regret it.
I pick my phone back up and when I see Spencer hasn't replied, I text again.
Me: have you guys seen or learned anything?
Spencer: Not yet. Few people have walked into the building but we're not legally allowed to deny people the right into their homes. You live on the third floor so hopefully that should deter him from your apartment.
Me: hope so. im not sure i could ever come back here and live my life without fear if he chooses here.
Spencer: That's understandable. I don't think he's prepared for his endgame just yet. But I'm also not sure he is disorganized enough to attempt to attack you in broad daylight in a public place like the grocery store.
Me: he abducted those other women in broad daylight in high traffic areas though and no one saw a thing.
Spencer: (Y/n), you're a federal agent. If he has an IQ that's at least half of mine, he would need extra planning. A damn good rouse to lure you away and that's only if he's confident we have no idea you're his target. Don't worry, okay? We will stay here all night for you.
Me: thank you..it helps to know you are here. i don't feel alone in this.
Spencer: You're never alone. Never again, (y/n).
Spencer: As much as I want to keep talking to you to make sure you're safe, I think it's best you focus on your surroundings. Deep breathing exercises actually trick your brain into thinking that you're relaxed and takes your body out of flight or fight.
Me: are those drs orders?
Spencer: Yes, now be a good girl and relax.
Your breath catches in your throat with his last text. It takes you aback at the pure brashness of it, something you weren't sure he was even capable of doing.
You do as commanded and you allow yourself to pull your legs up onto the couch, despite the impracticality of it in the sick chance he breaks into your apartment. You try your hardest to do breathing exercises you found on Google.
You are slightly surprised when your body begins to relax a bit and you feel less at edge. You don't allow yourself to completely let down your guard, but you welcome the slight relaxation of your muscles at least.
Minutes turn to hours and if you didn't have your phone to check the time, you would have thought days were passing by. All you've been able to do is stare at the ceiling when you're not making your routine patrols around your apartment. You feel as if you're starting to get a bit stir crazy.
You check in hourly with Hotch and Spencer, not allowing yourself too much of a distraction. But, as the hours tick by, your eyelids get heavier and heavier. You begin to lower your vigilant wall the tiniest bit. If he wanted to attack here wouldn't he have done so by now?
Me: im so tired.
Spencer: It's okay to sleep. It's highly recommended by every doctor, including me.
Me: alright smart ass. do you think he would've already tried something by now? the suns about to come up and it's been almost 12 hours.
Spencer: Go to bed. None of us are going to sleep so you're safe. You've been through a lot, you deserve some rest, even if it's just an hour.
Me: i guess youre right. ive got all my locks in place anyway and i guess i would probably hear if any glass broke but i dont know how anyone would expect to take an entire grown woman down 3 levels without risking being seen by using the stairs.
Spencer: You don't need to justify sleeping to me. You deserve the rest, no matter what. No justification needed.
Me: Thank you, Spence. ♡
Spencer: ♡
Still a bit weary, you decide to check the balcony and do your patrol once more before you allow yourself to relax. After determining the coast is clear, you decide to finally retire to your bedroom. You unhook your gun holster and lay it on your nightstand, making sure to keep it in reach in case.
You don't even bother changing out of your clothes as you finally climb into bed. You let out a small moan of relief and sleep consumes you almost instantly.
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You're taken out of your sleep by a loud thud, confusion overtaking you for a few moments as you blink rapidly around the room, attempting to adjust your eyes to the daylight. You're frozen in fear as your vision clears and there's a gun pointed right to your face.
The man holding the gun is in a regular hoodie and jeans, seemingly normal. You reel your terror back as you hold your hands up in surrender, attempting to make him believe you're willing to do as he pleases in hopes he makes a mistake.
You eye the time on the clock on your nightstand, if you can only distract him for a little bit longer, Hotch will call you when he realizes you aren't replying to his hourly check in and they'll come up here and save your ass.
All your able to do is stare at your attacker and stay completely still. You rack your brain for the best possible thing to say to get him to deescalate or at least lower the gun. "What's your name?"
"My name?" He questions, tilting his head to the side. You thought he might be put back by the question, instead he seems to have gained a confidence your profile suggested he was close to growing into. You suppose he must have had some new found confidence to be able to sneak past multiple undercover agents, and into a room on third floor with all doors and windows locked. He makes no move to lower the gun and no attempt to answer your question.
"How did you get in?" You ask as calmly as possible, hoping he made a mistake that way at least. Maybe your team was already outside, discussing how to play it to where he surrenders. You realize your luck as probably fallen short at the way a wicked smile spreads across his face.
"Do you not want to talk?" You try again. The blog posts he made about you play over in your head. You're hoping he takes the bait.
"Don't you think it's a little late to talk?" The gun stays unwavering in your face.
"What do you mean?"
The smile falls from his face and if you were in a cartoon, you can almost bet smoke would come out of his ears.
"What do I mean? You know what I mean!" He roars, shaking the gun angrily around. You decide to take this as your opportunity now that the gun isn't pointing towards you.
You release your leg from under the covers and kick as hard as you can muster into his abdomen. He reels back and you stumble out of bed and attempt to retrieve the gun on your nightstand when you realize it's no longer there. You spin around in time for his fist to connect with your jaw, knocking you off your feet, your knees barking as they connect with the hardwood.
You sweep out his legs from under him, sending him to the floor along with you. You spot his gun laying on your bedroom floor, right next your dresser, which unfortunately, he is right in front of. Before you can think to hesitate, you're up on your feet and lunging for the gun.
Before you're able to reach it, he grabs you by the collar of your shirt and swings you around and slams you into the wall. The breath clears your lungs and all you can do is fall to the ground on once more.
Blood from somewhere, you assume your face, drips onto the polished floor below you. You attempt to play the defeated victim, hoping it draws him close enough for you to catch him by surprise.
His heavy feet slam against your floorboards until he is right in front of you, gun completely abandoned on the floor. He grips your neck with a strong hand and lifts you to your feet. When he brings your face to his, you spit blood into his eye, causing him to drop you.
You use the few moments you gave yourself to at least make it out of your bedroom, grab a knife or one of your hidden guns, anything to give you the upper hand against a man twice your size and strength.
"Bitch!" He roars, wiping furiously at his eyes as you scramble with the door to your bedroom. You swing it open and lunge towards the closet gun you can think of when you see the open compartment, your gun missing from it.
"You think I don't know every single detail about your life, (y/n)?" He laughs from behind you as you're frozen in the middle of your living room. "I've been waiting for a long time, (y/n). Do you like the presents I left you? I figured I'd show you what I would do to you."
"You have an odd perception of the word present." You deadpan. You scramble to come up with a solution. All your guns are gone, if you run to the kitchen you better hope to hell he doesn't shoot you first or get there before you. "What do you want?"
"You." He smiles, and before you can react he's on you again. As you fight tooth and nail against his raging grasp, you hear your phone begin to ring. You allow hope to bubble in your chest, just a few more minutes, you say to yourself. They'll save me.
When you finally think you have the upper hand on him, he lands a fist to your temple that throws you to the carpet. Your vision spins as you attempt to crawl anywhere but where he is. You feel his laugh in your bones and you can tell he is taking his time taking in his win and the power it gives him. Your sight becomes blurry and you fight as hard as you can against it. But, all you seem to have the strength for is to watch blood spill from your mouth and the wounds on your face, onto the carpet of your living room. You gather enough strength to at least look your attacker in the face and deny him as much of the power he craves as you can. "I'm not afraid of you," you whisper. Your throat feels tight, and it's almost impossible to swallow. You spit blood onto your carpet as you try to relieve the pressure in your throat.
"You should be," is the last thing you hear before you see his boot come down towards your head and the world turns black.
496 notes · View notes
propertyoftoru · 1 year
Text
Smother Me | L.MH
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wc: 2.5k
pairing: Lee Minho X Fem!Reader
warnings: smut MDNI, rimming (m rec), teasing, established relationship, praise (both rec), overstim, kind of switch!Minho?? like hes a dom in this but theres parts that are kinda subby idk, petnames (bunny, bub, baby,etc..), degradation and kind of dumbification, cum eating, handjob, hair pulling and a little face grabbing but nothing too mean, Minho has a filthy mouth, lmk if i missed anything!!
A/N: This has been sitting in my drafts for weeks and i could not bring myself to post it because i kept wanting to add or change things but... listen i just cant get this out of my head and yeah... i need to suffocate between this mans thighs asap.
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You could not be blamed for the thoughts swimming around in your head nor for your failure to participate in any of the conversations taking place around you. Your boyfriend knew exactly what he was doing to you and if anything he was reveling in your frustrations. A conversation that took place only a few days ago comes to your mind as you trace your eyes across your current infatuation. 
“Lee Minho, do you know just how well you wear those pants?” His ears instantly turned bright red at your comment, only then realizing the intense stare you had lingering on his lower half. Your greedy eyes were savoring every inch of his muscular calves, bulging thighs, and cute little ass wrapped tightly in his faux leather pants. He coughed slightly, partially because his throat was suddenly feeling very dry, and partially because he wasn't used to you being so forward. 
Throughout your relationship Minho has always been the initiator, him being the one to ask you out on a date, asking you to officially be his girlfriend, and every minor or major step you took together. 
One thing he has always found endearing about you was how easily flustered you become each time he compliments you or offers you light teasing touches. More often than not, when he was fucking you into oblivion and whispering filthy things to you, you couldn't even respond in full sentences.
So hearing you make such a bold statement with a borderline predatory look in your eyes sent a chill up his spine.
“Quit looking at me like I’m a piece of meat..” he rolled his eyes as yours stayed zeroed in on his legs. “My eyes are up here bub.” His fingers lightly gripped your jaw, forcing you to readjust your focus.
You found your mind running wild with ideas and images that you would be embarrassed to admit to. Yet the smirk on your boyfriend's lips told you that the attention you were giving him wasn't unwanted - despite his comments. 
“Guess I'll have to start wearing these more often.” 
Leading you to where you are now, a mutual friends birthday party, surrounded by acquaintances chatting about who knows what while your horrible tease of a boyfriend practically eye fucks you from across the room. You would be a liar and a hypocrite if you didn’t admit to also eye fucking him, but with the way he looked tonight you couldn’t be held responsible. He was wearing a silky navy blue button up leaving the top few buttons left undone, along with a thick black choker wrapped deliciously around his throat. In addition to those ridiculously tight leather pants, his messy long hair was only adding to how insanely hot he looked.
You always found him attractive, whether that be when he first wakes up early in the morning, after getting his hair and makeup done for a shoot, even after a week long of exhausting schedules when he was on the brink of collapsing. You adored every side of him, the good, the bad, and the ugly (although you would argue that he doesn’t have an ugly side). But something about the way the material wrapped around his thigh muscles made him feel like a present you were just dying to unwrap.
He had been kind enough to tease you thoroughly before leaving your shared apartment, leaving you needy and slightly cranky from not getting what you wanted. 
For the past hour you had been texting him, begging for him to take you home and ruin you. Each of your pleas were ignored, the words read almost taunting you as he made casual talk with his friends. 
doris mom🐱💛: min please
doris mom🐱💛: i want to go home  
doris mom🐱💛: you have no idea how bad i need you right now
doris mom🐱💛: i’ll do anything please min 
doris mom🐱💛: ur being such a meanie
You felt your heart beat faster as you saw three dots pop up to tell you he was typing. 
cat butler🐱💙: oh? 
cat butler🐱💙: how am i being a “meanie” ??
You wanted to scream at that being the message he decided to respond to but you had his attention and you were not going to lose it. 
doris mom🐱💛: ur being a meanie for not letting me suffocate between your thighs and choke on your cock.
Your head snapped up at the sound of your boyfriend violently coughing - evidently he had taken a sip of his drink right before you had pressed send. You immediately ran to him, despite his coughing already beginning to cease, and offered a gentle hand on his back. Rubbing soothing circles between his shoulders as you gave him the most innocent look you could. 
“Min what happened? You should be more careful, I don't want you to choke!” 
He shot you a quick glare before covering it up with a sickly sweet smile and wrapping an arm around your waist. 
He lifted his drink to his lips again to take another sip before the plastic cup tumbled out of his grasp and spilt all over your front. You gasped loudly as the room temperature liquid seeped through your dress, your eyes immediately looking to see if it was being stained. 
“oops” You could almost hear the smirk that your boyfriend was fighting to keep off of his face. “baby! I'm so sorry it just slipped out of my hand!” 
While you knew that he intentionally spilt his drink all over you, you were unsure if it was as payback for making him choke or if it was an excuse to leave. He quickly rattled off something about needing to get you home to change and said his goodbyes before dragging you out of the party and to his car. You had half a mind to be upset with him for ruining your dress but the idea of finally getting Minho alone took priority in your mind. 
As your boyfriend drove you couldn’t help but continue to stare at the way the flesh of his thighs pooled as he sat in the driver's seat. Without hesitation you reached across the center console to place a hand on his thigh, much like he would normally do to you, even offering it a gentle squeeze. He flinched initially at the contact before releasing a shaky chuckle. “I guess delayed gratification makes you bold.”
“I was serious about wanting to suffocate between your thighs.” You began to gently knead his upper thigh feeling the muscle tighten and relax each time you moved higher. “It’s only fair after I let you spend hours between mine last night.” 
There it was again, the boldness and confidence that Minho wasn’t quite used to seeing out of you. Part of him loved it, happy to see you feeling so comfortable with him, and yet his more dominant side was telling him to put you in your place. He couldn't lie to himself and say that he wasn't enjoying how obsessive you were being. He loved the idea of you craving him so badly that you were willing to bypass your usual shyness to get what you wanted. 
“Careful bunny… you might get more than you bargain for if you keep running that pretty mouth of yours.” 
You watch his knuckles turn white as he grips the steering wheel harshly, attempting to suppress the gasp that slips from his mouth as you bring your hand over his bulge. The heel of your palm grinds into him just enough to make him squirm but not enough to relieve any real pressure and you watch as his adams apple jumps when he swallows harshly. He quickly reaches down to snatch your wrist and pull your hand away, seemingly suddenly remembering that he was supposed to be the one in charge. 
“Behave until we get home and I might consider fulfilling your requests.”
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If you thought he looked good eye fucking you from across the room earlier tonight, you just might have to come up with a new word to describe how he looks right now. He was currently manspreading in front of you, something he does often much to your delight, with his lustful gaze staring down at you. You were currently kneeling between his open legs while he was perched comfortably on your living room sofa. Minho lifted his hand to gently pat your head, smoothing your hair down where he had messed it up during the heated makeout session that took place when you entered your apartment. Despite the obvious lust pooling in his eyes you could also spot the adoration that seemed to be present every time he looked at you and that made your heart thump so aggressively you were sure he could hear it.
Because you had spent the entire day teasing each other you knew that the events that were about to take place were more than likely going to be rough and messy, something that was quite common for you and Minho. So you savored every soft look and gentle touch you were currently getting, certain that you wouldn’t be seeing much more of it until the time for aftercare came around. You nuzzled against his thigh while he continued to pet you, turning your head slightly to press soft kisses against the smooth faux leather. A surprised yelp was ripped out of you when he suddenly gripped your hair and pulled you away from him, forcing your line of sight up to his eyes once again. 
“Greedy little bunny… I give you pets after you've done nothing but act like a desperate slut all day and you just can't help yourself.”
“M’sorry Min just wanted to-”
Minho is quick to tighten his grip on your hair while simultaneously grabbing your cheeks and squishing them together, effectively stopping you from speaking.
“I don’t remember asking you to speak?”
The mindless look you give him as you blink slowly at him, your lips smooshed together and your eyebrows furrowed together has his cock twitching against his thigh. 
“You said you wanted to suffocate between my thighs?” You nodded dumbly up at him, the prospect of what he was saying making you salivate. “Go on then bunny… If you can manage to make me cum I’ll consider touching your sloppy little pussy after.”
As soon as you were released from his harsh grip you made quick work of undoing his belt and unbuttoning his pants, thankfully he assisted you in tugging them off along with his boxers considering how tightly they hugged him. The instant he was exposed to you, you lurched forward and began pressing kisses and suckling softly on his tanned skin, looking up as he undid the buttons of his shirt. You ran one of your hands up his abdomen feeling his muscles tense beneath your touch while your other hand kneaded the flesh of the thigh you weren't sucking bruises into. His hips shifted forward slightly as he threw his head back, a breathy sigh followed by an appreciative hum told you that he wanted this just as much as you did. You took the opportunity of his hips being so close to the edge of the couch to wrap your arms around him similarly to the way he usually did when he ate your pussy for hours.
 The feeling of your wet tongue dragging up his length distracted him from the way you were holding him spread open for you. Despite desperately wanting to fuck your throat Minho couldn't quite bring himself to put a stop to your teasing, especially when you began to swirl your tongue around his leaking tip. You continued teasing him like this for a while, only offering flicks of your tongue against his slit and lazy drags up and down his throbbing cock. A strangled whine came from Minho as you raked your fingernails across his thigh and simultaneously suctioned your lips around his angry red tip. When you heard the delicious sound you had been waiting for you pulled back to do what you had been imagining since the first time you saw him in those pants. Just as he lifted his head to scold you for your endless teasing, the breath was practically knocked out of his lungs as he felt your tongue press against his hole.
“F-Fuck bunny what are you do- holy shit” 
The hand that you weren’t using to keep his leg open reached up to wrap around his throbbing length, mostly focusing on twisting around the weeping head of his cock. His eyes could barely stay open as they practically crossed trying to process all of the pleasure you were offering him. You switched between gently fucking your tongue into him and occasionally circling it around his rim. Minho could swear he had never moaned so loudly in his life but it was like his brain had shut off and he couldn’t even begin to care how pornographic he probably sounded.
“Such a dirty little slut for me aren't you baby? Fuuuck… keep going just like that bunny you’re making me feel so good.” 
The sounds of his moans and whines combined with the wet squelching sounds and your own satisfied hums that filled the room had you pathetically rubbing your thighs together as you worked. You could feel his heavy cock pulsing in your palm as his hole began to clench and unclench at the prospect of his nearing orgasm. Taking a deep breath you sunk your tongue just a little deeper, until your nose was pressed against him and your access to oxygen was restricted. Adding to the overwhelming pleasure you were giving him you wrapped your hand just a little tighter around his cock, quickening your strokes just enough to have the rope tightening in his stomach. When you began wiggling your tongue deep inside of him he clenched his eyes shut tightly as he felt the rope begin to snap. His moans abruptly stopped as his fingers tangled in your hair, holding you in place as his orgasm violently washed over him. His thighs shook around your head as he came all over his stomach and chest, his hips desperately fucking up into your hand greedily attempting to chase more pleasure.
Only when he felt his eyes begin to water from overstimulation did he nudge your hand away and release the grip he had on your head.
Both of your heavy breaths filled the room as he basked in his post high bliss, enjoying the soft brush of your fingertips against his skin. He flinched slightly as he felt your tongue begin to kitten lick his release off of him, cleaning him up just as he had taught you to.  Once you finished he pulled you up onto his lap, immediately attaching his lips to yours, while whispering praises to you in between each kiss. 
“I think my bunny deserves a reward for her good behavior.” 
1K notes · View notes
skz317cb97 · 1 year
Text
Beach Bum
Felix x Thick female reader
Word count: 7.6K
Synopsis: You tag along on spring break to visit your best friend's brother in Australia. A wardrobe issue forces you out of your comfort zone and into your worst nightmare
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A/N: 18+ ONLY! This one is a little tamer than my last fee but I hope you all enjoy it! If you do give it a reblog, like, comment, hit my ask box I'm always up for some feedback! As always warnings and smut below the cut!
Warnings: 18+ ONLY MDNI! Cursing/strong language, mild violence (a punch), fat shaming (not Felix), oral (m&f receiving), cum shot, cum eating (only a little), protected piv sex, praise, body worship, pet names (angel, beautiful etc), guided masterbation (kinda), marking. I think that's everything. This one is tamer than the last few. If I missed something please let me know and I'll add it asap!
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When your best friend Rosa found out you had made no plans for spring break, she insisted on you tagging along on her trip to Australia instead of you barricading yourself in your room for seven days. She was going to visit her brother Felix who you had met loads of times. Whenever he was in town he’d mention getting a room and Rosa would argue, telling him that he just needed to crash with you all instead of wasting money on a hotel, understandably so. Naturally when you both were going for a visit back home he insisted upon the same thing. 
“Don’t you dare get a hotel when you get here. There’s plenty of room in my apartment.”  
“Are you sure? y/n is with me, it’s not too much?” Felix laughed sweetly  
“Of course not! I love y/n! She’s more than welcome to stay at mine as well.” Rosa was on the phone with Felix as you drove to the airport. You started blushing when you happened to hear him over the phone. You were possibly the biggest cliche walking on earth, a crush on your best friend’s brother.  
One of the times he was crashing with you and Rosa you’d ran into him coming from the shower, towel wrapped around his waist, wet hair, skin flushed, beads of water rolling down his thin but muscular frame. You quickly apologized and fled, putting your shoes on and leaving the apartment entirely to get a hold of yourself. Felix thought it was so cute how you dashed away. It just wasn’t fair. He was sweet and funny and looked like that. Freckled face, perfect smile, big brown eyes and then his voice! Felix was the whole package and entirely out of your league. What you didn’t know was that Felix was just as big of a cliché as you. He was entirely smitten by you. You were funny and smart and pretty, you checked all the boxes for Felix but he didn’t want to be that guy, hitting on his sister’s best friend. You heard Rosa groan at her brother. 
“Gahhokay okay Lix we’re crashing with you no need threaten me with mom. We’re at the airport now I’ll call you when wheels are down. Love you too. Bye.” Your friend hung up with her brother as you pulled into the long term parking lot. You took a big nervous sigh. You weren’t good with planes, you weren’t good with trips, and you had a flock of butterflies in your stomach thinking about spending the whole week at Felix’s place. Your friend could easily pick up on your nerves. 
“You’re more likely to get in a car wreck than a plane crash.” She tried to reassure you. You scoffed. 
“Lot of good that helps, I’ve never been in a wreck.” Rosa opened her door getting out and bending down looking into the car at you. 
“Excuse but I remember your last ex... if that wasn’t a wreck...” 
“YAH! Bitch! That’s it I’m not going! Have fun byyyye...” She laughed. 
“Get out of the car and get your ass in that airport.” Rosa shut her door as you got out laughing and grabbed your bag. 
“Ooo love it when you go all dom on me like that.” You blew her a kiss and winked and you both laughed harder, heading towards the airport with your bags in tow, ready for your break from school. Checking your bags and getting through security were as easy as expected, which was not at all, but you managed to make your flight still. To say that you were a nervous flyer would be an understatement. Typically you would drug yourself fall asleep and wake up at your destination but your flight to Australia wouldn’t take long so there was no knocking yourself out.  
As promised as soon as the wheels hit the ground in Sydney, Rosa texted Felix telling him you had arrived. He replied back saying that he was already at the airport waiting to pick you both up. You had done an amazing job pretending like you weren’t having the worst panic attack of your life on the plane. Once you were on the ground and got done unboarding it all started to catch up with you. You and Rosa got your bags and she started scanning the crowd for her big brother. You were starting to feel clammy and then Rosa spotted Felix. 
“Ooo there he is!” She started waving at him as you both walked towards him. Just as you got up to him you could feel the blood leaving your face. 
“Whoa, y/n are you okay you look a litt-” Before Felix could finish his sentence your vision went blurry and then you were out. 
“y/n!” Rosa called out worried. 
“Oh shit!” Felix lunged and helped you to the ground softly instead of falling like a sack of potatoes. Felix told Rosa to run and get you some water while he tried to get you to come back around. 
“y/n-ie? Come on... can you hear me? Wake up sweetie.” You let out a soft groan as the lights came back on one by one. 
“There you go. There you go.” You opened your eyes and found Felix’s beautiful face staring down at you. You jumped and scrambled to sit up out of his lap and he shushed you and eased you back. 
“Whoa whoa whoa slow down, just lay back. You fainted, Rosa’s grabbing some water just... take it easy. I’ve got you.” Your face started to burn, he smiled, and you relaxed. Rosa was back with a bottle of water quickly. 
“Here babe drink this.” She handed you the bottle. Felix helped you sit up, you opened the water and took a sip. 
“Are you okay?” You nodded taking another sip of the water. 
“Yea yea I’m fine.” She looked at you unconvinced. You shook your head as you went to stand up, Felix holding your hand and arm helping. 
“Really Rosie I’m okay, I promise.” She accepted your promise with the use of the nickname and you both grabbed your luggage. Felix quickly reached to grab yours. 
“I’ve got this.” You shook your head. 
“Oh Lix you don’t have to I can carry it.” He gave you that warm sunny smile. 
“It’s no trouble really.” You allowed him to take the bag and he then led you both to his car. Your friend Rosa was very type A so the whole trip was planned and had an itinerary. Museums, shows, spa, and of course the beach. The day you arrived you just relaxed after the flight, too tired to do anything other than vegging out on the couch with Felix. As soon as the sun was high in the sky the next day, Rosa started whining to Felix about taking you all to the beach. 
“PPppleeeaaaasssseee. It’s so pretty today its perfect for the beach!” He was trying to talk her out of it. It was mid-day, on a Saturday, during spring break, the beach would be crazy. When you heard her pleading you ran into the kitchen to assist. 
“It really is Lixie come on pleaaaase?!” You leaned over the counter across from him begging and Felix could see down your shirt. He tried not to but your breasts were so big and looked so soft and you weren’t wearing a bra-. 
“Lix?” He snapped out of it and looked at you hoping you couldn’t tell he was blushing. 
“Will you?” He raised his eyebrows. 
“Hmm?”  
“Take us to the beach?” That’s right his brain was catching up again. 
“OH! Uh... yea sure of course.” You and Rosa both squealed with excitement. You gave Felix a hug and he tried to think pure thoughts when your soft body hugged his, your breasts covered only by a shirt pressed against his chest. 
“We’ll go get ready!” Rosa said dashing off quickly. You ran off quickly behind her. You drug out your suitcase and started going through it. You had packed two bathing suits for the trip, a modest one piece with a ruffled skirt attached for the beach and a bikini that you only planned on wearing under a robe at the spa you and Rosa had booked. You shuffled through your luggage looking for the one piece, not finding it anywhere. 
“No. No. Nonononono FUCK! It has to be in here!” You dumped the whole suitcase and tossed articles of clothing everywhere. Felix was walking by and heard cussing, he ducked his head into your room and clothes flew by. 
“Uhh... y/n? Everything okay?” You jumped and squeaked as you turned and saw Felix standing in your doorway.  
“Sorry didn’t mean to startle you. Everything alright? I heard swearing and...” You nodded quickly. 
“Oh yea Felix everything’s good I was just looking for my bathing suit.” He took a step in. 
“Oh! Do you need help?” You stopped him stammering. 
“Uh no! No I found it! All good!” He smiled and back out again. 
“Okay good! We’ll leave for the beach in ten, okay?” You smiled, nodding. When Felix closed the door you started rifling through the clothes again. There was the bikini now where was that god damn one piece. Then you remembered. You switched bags. You had made sure to pack the one-piece in the first suitcase but then you switched the night before to a slightly bigger one in case you bought souvenirs in Australia. You had set the one piece aside and you told yourself not to forget it, but you needed to get to bed and you were in a hurry and clearly you had forgotten it. What the hell were you going to do you thought to yourself. You couldn’t bail, you and Rosa had just begged Felix to take you, you both had just been going on about how excited you were to go.  You sighed heavily looking at the bikini. 
“Fuck!” You threw the two pieces of lycra on and looked in the mirror. You couldn’t be more screwed. This was meant to be worn under a robe for no one’s eyes to see. Not at a beach full of people, not in front of Felix. Two thin straps tied at the neck and around the back of the top, the small triangular pieces of fabric attempted to cover your large breasts and did so poorly. While the top was skimpy it was the bottoms you were really concerned about. You turned looking at your ass. Two more little strings tied each side of the bottoms around your wide hips and led back to a thong, the tiniest piece of fabric that your juicy ass cheeks ate entirely. Definitely screwed. You grabbed a big hoodie and some shorts and put them on over what little bathing suit you had on, grabbed your towel then headed out with Rosa and Felix to the beach. You were just pulling up when Felix hit a bump and the slushy Rosa had to get at the convenient store got spilled on your lap. 
“Shit!” Rosa apologized. 
“Oh babe I’m so sorry! Leave your shorts in the car and I’ll wash them as soon as we get back to Lix’s.” You started to flush. 
“You mean take them off?” Rosa giggled a little as she and Felix started getting out of the car. 
“Well you’re not staying in the car with them so that would be the best option.” You got out of the car, stood behind your door then quickly dropped your shorts and wrapped your big beach towel around you. 
“Race you to the sand!” Rosa took off and Felix started to but then noticed you were just walking behind. He slowed down to let you catch up.  
“It’s so warm today, aren’t you burning up in that hoodie?” You absolutely were but there was no way you were taking it off. 
“No I’m fine.” Felix nodded and didn’t push the subject; he knew you were a little self-conscious about your body even though he thought it was perfect. You all got to the sand and tossed your stuff down.  Felix spread out the beach blanket and set up the umbrellas. You sat down under one and pulled out a book. Rosa looked at you incredulously. 
“Really?” You scrunched your face at her. 
“You know very well I'm a ‘read at the beach’ person not a ‘frolic in the water’ beach person. Go on you and Lix go be water babies and frolic. I’ll be fine here.” Your friend leaned down and kissed your forehead. 
“Love you mooooom!” She shouted as she ran off towards the water. You shook your head as you and Felix laughed. 
“You sure you don’t want to come?” His cheeks were already turning pink from the sun and his freckles became more prominent. You shook your head. 
“Maybe later Lix, thanks.” He smiled and it was brighter than the sun, then he ran off to attack his sister in the water. You laid back and relaxed reading your book. After a while even in the shade of the umbrella you started to get hot. The umbrellas gave you a good deal of coverage. You took the hoodie off and wrapped your towel around your chest and relaxed back again. You closed your eyes, not to sleep just to rest them you told yourself as you dozed off. Cool drops of water were what woke you. They felt soothing on your warm skin. 
“Are the kids having fun?” You asked assuming it was Rosa standing close enough to drip on you. 
“Yes angel” You jumped and Felix giggled a little. You opened your eyes to see that he was standing over you drinking some water.  
“Sorry I didn’t mean to disturb your beach nap.” You shook your head sitting up and when you did your towel came undone from around the top of you and suddenly everything from the waist up was on display. Felix choked on his water and almost spit it out. You were some type of goddess he was convinced. Suddenly you heard a wolf whistle and saw Rosa walking up to get a drink as well. 
“Hot momma!” She called out. 
“Can you stop calling me mom, I’m starting to think you have a kink.” Felix laughed and Rosa feigned laughing along. 
“Oh hahaha, give me a bottle of water while you’re sitting there giving away Victoria’s secret.” You rolled your eyes and tossed her a bottle while you half assed covered back up. At that point what did the top matter. As long as you didn’t have to ditch the towel on the bottom you were fine you could handle it. 
“Come on mo-othman...”  
“Good save Rosa...” Felix nudged his sister. 
“Shut up! Let's get in the water again, you too biatch!” She grabbed your hand playfully pulling as you shook your head no. 
“No Rosa I... I can’t it’s okay go without me.” Her eyes narrowed and she pursed her lips. 
“You know you’re stubborn as hell right?” You smiled nodding. 
“You always say it’s a good thing and that you love me.” Rosa shook her head.  
“No sweetie I always tell you that you’re stubborn as hell and it’s a good thing that I love you.” She kissed your forehead again and ran off to the water. Felix was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes. 
“Oh sush.” You told him. His laughter died down and he knelt down sitting on his knees by you. 
“Why won’t you come in the water, are you scared of sharks? Cause they have spotters and it’s been years sin-”  
“It’s not sharks that I’m scared of Lixie.” He looked at you sweetly and waited for you to elaborate. You took a deep breath you could hardly stand the way his soft eyes were fixated on you. 
“I... this isn’t my usual bathing suit and the bottoms well... there’s not much bottoms...” Felix attempted to keep his brain from short circuiting with that information. 
“I’m scared someone will stare or say something... because... you know... I’m... big.” Felix’s voice came out softly. 
“Ohhh, y/n... no. You... I mean... well... I think you look amazing in your swimsuit. It looks really good on you.” You started blushing.  
“If you want we can walk out to the water together, once you’re in the water no one will see anything. It feels really good and you can’t go to the beach and not get in the water.” Felix made it sound so easy and saying that he thought you looked good in your bikini made you feel a little more confident. If Felix thought you looked good it couldn’t be that bad. You stood up and let the towel fall down. You were still pretty much blocked from the strangers on the beach but Felix could see everything and loved it. Every roll and curve of your full body made his heart race. He prayed to god he didn’t get a boner because there would be no hiding it in his trunks. You stood there a little unsure still. 
“Are you sure this looks okay Lix?” He stammered and caught himself. 
“Y-y-yeah! Absolutely you look great!” A shy smile crept onto your face. Felix thread his fingers through yours and you both started towards the water. As soon as Rosa saw you both walking out she started walking up on the sand towards you to meet you halfway. 
“Hey! What the fuck! How did you get her to act like a real hum-” 
“Moooooooo!” You heard it. Felix heard it. Rosa heard it. Everyone in a mile radius heard it. You all turned and standing not too far from you was a frat bro, obviously drunk, and a few of his buddies. When you looked at him he repeated. 
“Moooooo!” The one thing you had hoped wouldn’t happen, the reason you never dressed that way, your worst nightmare was coming true on a beach in front of Felix. The frat jerk laughed and continued on. 
“Oink oink!” You choked out a sob and ran for the beach blanket grabbing your things quickly. The drunk asshole taunting you as you ran away. 
“Oink oink oi-” The drunk dick head was silenced when Rosa stormed up and punched his lights out. He hit the deck and of course, with it being spring break, beach patrol was right there to see it. They started to escort Rosa away for detainment while the frat bros friends tried to help him walk up right but ended up dragging him away more or less. As Rosa was walking off with beach patrol she hollered back to Felix.  
“Lix! Go find y/n! Make sure she’s okay!” He threw his hands up. 
“What about you?!” She waved him off. 
“I’ll be fine get y/n!” Beach patrol cuffed Rosa and braced her head as they put her in the back of a cruiser and took off. Felix quickly grabbed the blanket and umbrellas then ran off to find you. He was relieved to find you sitting by the car, having nowhere else to really go.  Your hoodie was back on, towel around you. You had your knees pulled up and your face was buried in your arms as you cried absolutely humiliated. 
“y/n...” You sniffled and looked up at Felix then started crying again. Felix crouched down and hugged you. After a minute you calmed down and Felix unlocked the car tossing the stuff inside quickly then helping you up and into the car, still sniffing and wiping your face with your towel. Felix started the car and took off quietly giving you some time. He could only imagine how hurt you were, the hurt he felt for you was unbearable and he felt so guilty. He had reassured you that you looked amazing, you did. That asshole didn’t deserve to lick the sand off your toes, you were an absolute angel, a goddess of beauty. After a moment of silence in the car you realized there were two instead of three people in the vehicle. 
“Where’s Rosa?” You asked in a small voice. Felix glanced between you and the road quickly. 
“Oh... uh... well... she got arrested.” Suddenly your problem seemed trivial. 
“W-WHAT?! HOW!?”  
“Well she sort of decked that asshole, knocked him out cold actually, then beach patrol drug her off. It’s spring break, they’re used to fights. They’ll keep her overnight in the drunk tank and let her go in the morning with a ticket. It’s not the first time she’s visited that drunk tank for fighting on the beach so don’t worry about her okay?” You nodded, a little half smile on your face at the idea of Rosa punching that dick head. Felix made a turn in the opposite direction of his place and you were confused. 
“Isn’t your apartment back that way?” He smiled nodding, eyes on the road. 
“It is. We’re not going to my apartment though.”  
“Uh... w-where are we going?” He made another turn. 
“I told you that you can’t go to the beach and not get into the water...” You started shaking your head no. You could not have a repeat of what just happened. 
“No Lix let’s jus-” 
“It’s okay, it’s my secret spot. My own personal beach. I’ve gone there for years and never seen someone else there. Trust me okay?” Your heart was racing with anxiety but you nodded agreeing. Felix pulled off onto the shoulder into some gravel, parked and turned off the car. 
“We’re here.” It didn’t look like a beach was anywhere near there. Felix got out and opened your door helping you out then grabbing the beach blanket and heading for the tree line. 
“Uh Lixie... where’s the beach?” He laughed deeply. 
“Follow me.” He started to make his way through some brush and you quickly followed before you were left behind. When you made your way through the brush line you found Felix waiting on a path. 
“Come on it’s just a little further this way.” You could hear the ocean now, you were surprised how much the tree line blocked it out. You followed Felix up the path and then you came out on a beautiful little beach. White sand, clear water, and not another singles soul in sight. 
“Oh my god Felix! This place is beautiful!” He smiled ear to ear then ran onto the beach and spread out the blanket falling back and landing on his ass. You walked over and knelt down on the blanket too still in your hoodie, wrapped in your towel. 
“It’s okay y/n. You can relax.” You sat down, stretching your legs out and resting back on your hands. Felix shook his head. 
“I mean it’s okay for you to ditch the hoodie and towel.” You sat up again.  
“Oh! Well... I...” Felix’s hand came up and rubbed your back. 
“I think you look amazing in your bathing suit and it’s only me and you. Trust me?” You looked at him and nodded. You took the hoodie off first tossing it away on the blanket then removing the towel that you had wrapped around your waist. Felix’s eyes ran up and down your body. 
“Lixie?” His lustful gaze turned soft when he realized he’d been staring. 
“Uh... yea... okay! Now let’s get in that water!” Felix jumped up and ran for the ocean. You stood, laughing and made your way down to the shoreline stopping before actually getting in. Felix was already out to his waist in the water, he slapped a big splash of water at you and you were sprayed with cool drops. 
“Get in already!” He called after you. You rolled your eyes but you were laughing. He was happy to see you smiling. 
“I’m convinced every time you get into the ocean you regress to a twelve-year-old.” He laughed and splashed you again. 
“Get! In!” Slash, splash, splash. 
“Okay okay I’m coming stop drowning me!” Felix relented and you waded out into the ocean until you were also waist deep. He was standing in front of you with his smile brighter than the sun reflecting off the water. 
“See? Nice isn’t it?” You hummed nodding running your hands gently through the water. Looking down and seeing all the little fish swimming around the two of you. Felix was staring again this time at your beautiful face while you watched in amazement. The two of you waded out a little further and it seemed like the deeper you got the closer Felix was to you. You jumped when his hand found your waist thinking a fish brushed against you, then you realized it was Felix’s hand, then his arm was around you, then both, your soft wet body squishing against his firm bare chest. Both of you warm and sun kissed. You let out a shudder of a breath. 
“You cold?” He asked in that deep voice, pressing your bodies together closer. You shook your head no. 
“N-no...” He was looking deep into your eyes shaking his head no along with you. His face was leaning in closer and closer. Suddenly a big wave came and crashed into the two of you knocking you under water, sending you spinning. When you resurfaced you spotted Felix frantically looking around for you. When he spun and saw you his hand went to his heart and he let out a sigh of relief. You both made your way out of the water and to the blanket to catch your breath and lay out to dry. Whatever moment had been happening before, the wave ruined and was forgotten. After laying there for a minute you opened your eyes and looked over at Felix. He was laying on his back, eyes closed, little content smile on his face. The apples of his cheeks were starting to turn a little red from the sun and you could count each individual freckle on his face. His blonde hair getting fluffier as it dried. 
“Thanks Felix.” He scrunched his eyes and turned his head to look over at you. His eyes met with yours and he sat up on his elbow so he could look down at you better. 
“For what?” You looked up at him and he didn’t think you could be more beautiful. Sunkissed, sea salt soaked hair starting to dry, just beautiful. 
“For bringing me here... for telling me you think I’m pretty...” Felix shook his head and leaned over you, propped up by his arms, one on each side of your head caging you in under him. You were caught off guard, you looked at the two arms boxing you in then back into Felix’s eyes. 
“I don’t think your pretty y/n.... I know you are.” He leaned down and pressed his lips softly against yours then pulled back, looking down at you, gauging your reaction. You touched your lips smiling. 
“Lixi-” He leaned down again and captured your lips between his, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. Your hands slid up Felix’s shoulders and neck, your fingers threading through the long hair at his nape. Your lips parted and Felix took the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth. You made out like that for a while Felix getting bold and squeezing your breasts over your bikini top, making you moan into his kiss. His lips peppered down your neck and chest. 
“Lix...” He hummed acknowledging you. 
“Hmm...” More kisses, teeth gently scraping. 
“Lix...” He nodded. 
“MMhm...” You giggled pushing at his chest a little in vain. He was nibbling your neck his ear right by your lips. 
“Lixie... w-we... we can’t do this h-here.” You whispered your voice breathy. Felix stopped and pulled away quickly. 
“W-we... we can’t do what?” You looked at him sheepishly biting your kiss swollen lips worried you’d assumed too much. 
“Well... you know. We can’t... I can’t...” You looked down at the painfully obvious erection Felix was sporting in his trunks.  
“I can’t... take care of you.” You said sweetly. 
“Y-you want to?” He asked surprised. You pulled him down on you again and kissed him, then pulled away nodding, your teeth gently tugging at your bottom lip. 
“Yes.” You said quietly. Felix brushed a little sand off your face and nodded. He got off you and stood up then helped you and rolled up the blanket again. He led you down the trail and through the brush again. When the two of you got into the car the sexual tension was thick. The whole way back to Felix’s apartment his hand was on your leg, fingers gently tracing, sliding higher then squeezing and tracing back down. You had been completely dried off from the ocean but your bathing suit bottoms were most definitely wet. When you got to Felix’s place, he unlocked the door and let you in first. You tried to just... act natural. 
“So did yo-” When you turned to speak to Felix cupped your face and kissed you. You felt like you were still standing on the beach you were so warm all over. He pulled back smiling.  
“We should probably shower the beach off.” You nodded, speechless. Felix thread his fingers through yours again like he had at the beach and started to lead you towards the bathroom. 
“Will you shower with me?” He asked, giving your hand a gentle squeeze when you didn’t respond. You couldn’t help it. You were half in shock. You never thought you would have found yourself in a senario where Felix and you even kissed let alone have sex. 
“y/n? You okay?” You snapped out of it.  
“Yea! Yes I’m fine.” He stopped just outside the bathroom and leaned in to kiss you again. 
“Will you?” You chewed at your bottom lip again and nodded. 
“Yes.” Felix walked into the bathroom and held the door open. You walked in and stood there nervously as he shut the door and turned back to you. You were never good at hiding your nerves and Felix could tell. 
“y/n?” You looked at him a little wide eyed. 
“I-if you don’t wan-” 
“I DO! I do Felix I'm just... nervous. He walked over to you and wrapped his arms around you. 
“What are you nervous about angel? Maybe I can help.” You hesitated, unsure of how to put into words what you were feeling. 
“You... seeing me.” Felix was looking at you with that soft expression again. 
“Angel... I’ve always seen you. I’m crazy about you y/n. Always have been.” Your jaw dropped.  
“What?!” He nodded and pecked your lips. 
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?!”  
“Because you’re GORGEOUS and I didn’t know for sure if you had any feelings for me and I didn’t want to make things weird, you’re my sister’s best friend.” He was looking down and not in your eyes now. 
“I do.” You said quietly. He looked at you again. 
“You do what?” He knew he just needed to hear you say it. 
“I... I’m in love with you Felix.” You said with a shaky voice. Felix kissed you breathless, holding your soft body against him. He pulled away panting. 
“I love you y/n I love you so much.” You pulled him into another passionate kiss. Felix’s hands traveled up your back and pulled at the first string of your top, untying, and loosening it. He kissed down your neck as he tugged at the other string, pulling it slowly until your top fell to the ground. Instinctively you went to cover up but Felix stopped you. 
“Please, don’t.” You put your arms back down around Felix and he started to pull at both strings of your bottoms. He kissed you and completely untied them at the same time. His tongue softly intruding into your mouth and the fabric hit the floor. Felix’s hands never stayed in one place very long, he wanted to feel everything. When he finally pulled his lips away so that you could both shower and breathe he raised his brow a little, a mischievous smile you usually only saw when he was up to something.  
“Do you want to take mine off me?” You flushed but knelt down grabbing the waist band of his swim trunks and pulling down until his cock was free right in front of your face. It was hard a bead of precum on the tip. You resisted the urge to grab it and stood back up as Felix stepped out of his shorts and turned on the shower. He opened the shower curtain. 
“After you.” You laughed and got in, Felix right behind you. He lathered up some bodywash in his hands. 
“Can I wash you?” You nodded. 
“Yes Lixie.” He bit his lip. 
“I really love it when you call me that.” You smiled. Felix spun his finger around for you to turn your back to him. You turned and Felix started to run his hands along your shoulders and back not only washing you but squeezing and rubbing your shoulders and neck. Between the hot water and Felix’s hands you were so relaxed so you jumped when his arms wrapped around you and he started to rub soap on your breasts. When you jumped you pressed into Felix more and you could feel his erection poking you. He acted as if nothing was happening between your bodies and continued to rub his soapy hands all over you.  
He turned you and pulled your hips close his hard cock still prodding you and Felix gripping your ass then rubbing it. He looked you right in the eyes and Felix’s had something in them you’d never seen. Pure lust. His hands ran down your thighs and he started to kneel in front of you, face to face with your cunt. He continued rubbing the soap over your thighs and down your legs, saving the best part for last. He finally ran his hand over your pussy washing you and you throbbed when his hands moved away. Felix pulled your hips forward and water ran down your body washing the suds away. Suddenly Felix’s face was between your legs and he was finally tasting your sweet cunt. You jumped and he put his arms around your legs and held you close as he continued to savor you, slow long licks of his tongue through your slit. 
“F-Felix...” He spread your pussy open and started sucking on your clit, he hummed.” 
“Hmhm” Was all you heard but what you felt when he hummed against your throbbing clit like that it was divine. 
“F-F-Felix!” He sucked and hummed is disapproval again sending more vibrations rumbling through your cunt and then you realized. 
“Lixie!” He was an absolute starved man. He loved when you called him that. He ate your pussy like it was his job. As far as he was concerned it was. You soared into your orgasm, coming on Felix’s tongue, holding yourself up as your knees went weak. He stood up wiping your juices with the back of his hand then kissed you. His hands roaming your full figure again. You pulled away and stopped him with one finger up. 
“It’s time to clean Lixie too.” Felix’s cock twitched. 
“Okay angel...” He ran his fingers down your cheek. 
“Will you wash me?” You nodded eagerly and grabbed the body wash. You gave Felix the same treatment he’d just given you, massaging his shoulders, soaping his chest and kneeling down to do his legs, his hard leaking cock right in front of you. You took both your soapy hands and grabbed it slowly jerking him off. Felix whimpered, he’d been hard for so long and the feeling of your soapy hands sliding up and down his cock was almost more than he could take. One hand traveled down and fondled his balls as you continued to stroke his cock with the other. He thought he was about to cum but then you removed your hands giving him a little taste of his own medicine. He looked down pouting. You put your hands on his hips and moved him under the stream of water, washing the suds of soap from his body. When Felix was clean you grabbed his dick and started sucking on the tip. 
“F-fuck oh y/n god.” He wasn’t expecting it but he wasn’t complaining either. Your mouth felt amazing wrapped around his aching cock. You took more of him and hummed. 
“Hmhm.” You started sliding up and down his shaft. 
“Y/N! Fuck!” You took a bit more of him and hummed again and then he realized what you wanted. 
“Angel! Your mouth feels so good!” You started deep throating him gagging, Felix gently held your head as you suck the life from him. 
“I’m gonna cum angel fuck, you’re gonna make me cum.” You pulled off and stroked his cock. 
“Where Lixie? Hmm?” A hundred ways and places to cum on you ran through his mind he didn’t know what to pick. He looked down as you stroked his cock fast and saw your huge breasts bouncing with every stroke and he moaned. 
“Tits wanna cum on your tits please!” You stroked him and kitten licked the tip of his cock pressing the base of his tip against your puckered lips and rubbed it against them as you continued jacking him off. He let out a soft moan and you aimed his dick at your tits just as the first streak of cum shot across them. You stroked him as his cum covered your tits and started to drip down your body. 
“F-fuck...” Felix was panting. 
“F-feels so g-good angel... keep stroking get it all.” You did as he asked and wiped the last drop of cum off on your chest. Felix looked down at you, he was red and out of breath. You had big doe eyes and wore his cum all over your breasts. He helped you up, cupped your face and kissed you, then washed your chest off one more time before you both got out of the shower. You dried off and you went to go into the room that you were using for the trip. Felix grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards his room. 
“Absolutely not.” You giggled as you followed the towel clad man to his room. He led you in and towards his bed. 
“There. That’s where you belong angel. In my bed.” You laughed and finished drying your hair tossing the towel in a near by hamper. Felix closed the space between you. He ran his hands down your arms and grabbed your hands. He squeezed them and leaned in kissing you. He let go to hold you by your wide hips and your arms wrapped around his shoulders your fingers threading through his hair. You pulled away to get air, your foreheads pressed together, both of you blushing, breathing heavy. One of Felix’s hands came up and two fingers slid into the tie of your towel loosening it and allowing it to fall to the floor, leaving you soft and naked in front of him. He squeezed his cock over his towel already so hard again then pulled his towel off tossing it aside. He cupped your face with both hands and pressed his lips softly against yours and then whispered. 
“Can I have you?” Your heart was racing a million miles a minute. You looked into his eyes, bit your lip and nodded. 
“Tell me angel. Tell me you want me.” You kissed him gently, once, twice, three times. 
“Felix, take me, I’m yours.” He kissed you and leaned you back onto the bed, climbing between your legs. He leaned over to his nightstand drawer and pulled out a condom. He ripped it open and rolled it down his length. You spread your thick thighs wider for him. 
“Lixie...” You said in a sweet voice. He lined up his cock with your wet hole. 
“I’ve got you angel don’t worry.” He slowly pushed in and you both relished every inch of him sliding into you. Felix had the sexiest moans and when he bottomed out he let out a grunt and a big breath. 
“God! You’re so tight, so soft. Feel so good, I always knew you would you’re a fucking goddess, this body... fuck do you know what you do to me?!” Feeling you squeeze him was unreal. He started to set a rhythm pumping into you, your breasts bouncing with each thrust. Felix leaned down and started sucking on one of your nipples still rolling his hips into your plump cunt. 
“Oh my god Lixie MMMmm tell me! Tell me what I do to you!” You ran your fingers through his hair and held on as he sucked a mark on the side of your breast and pulled off.  
“Angel I’ll tell you, goddess, fucking beautiful being, every inch of your body is worth tasting and sipping on your sweet pussy is like tasting nectar from the gods. I can not believe I get to have you, fuck you.” Hips started thrusting into yours harder. 
“Yes Lix right there oh my god!” Felix gave it to you right there, over and over pushing you towards your second orgasm. 
“Is it right there angel hmmm? Is that where you want it?” You nodded. 
“Y-y-yes Lixie mmm harder.” He held your hips and fucked you harder until your cunt turned into a vice grip squeezing him, quivering and twitching as you came on his cock. 
“FUCK! HOLY Sh- that... mmmm.” He started to fuck you faster chasing his high and prolonging yours. He held your tits with both hands as he rolled his hips and thrusted into you fast and hard. 
“Can I cum on your tummy angel, god I wanna blow all over your cute belly. Please?” Words were not easy as Felix fucked you into oblivion. 
“Y-yes Lixie c-cum... cum...” You were softly rubbing your clit still riding the buzz of your climax. When Felix looked down and saw you pleasuring yourself he loved it he thought you made the prettiest face when you came. 
“That’s it baby work yourself up, cum with me. Play with it.” You started fingering yourself faster pressing two fingers firmly against your clit. 
“Yes rub it faster... FUCK I’m gonna cum so hard... you gonna cum with me angel right?” You bit your lip and rubbed your clit faster nodding. 
“Gonna... gonna cum Lix...mmmm yes!” He hummed his satisfaction. 
“Hmmm fast and hard baby I’m gonna cum!” You rubbed your clit as fast as you could and started to cum moaning out Felix’s name. 
“FELIX FUCK!” He pulled out took off the condom and started stroking his cock and moaning. 
“Uhhhfuck!” Cum shot across your tummy streaking again and again Felix stroking fast as he unloaded all over your belly. He moved your hand and rubbed the tip of his cock against your sensitive clit causing you both to twitch and jump from overstimulation. You laid there a little fucked out, Felix crawled up next to you and ran his finger through his cum on your belly. 
“Wanna taste?” You sighed content and nodded. Felix stuck his finger in your mouth and you sucked the cum from it. 
“Mmmmm... Lixie...” Felix’s cock twitched. 
“Hmm we’ll take five, get my cum off you, and then I’m gonna bend you over and really fuck you angel again and again baby I’m fucking you all night.” Your pussy clenched and you pressed your legs together for a little friction. 
“Promise?”  Felix crawled between your legs, head hovering over your swollen cunt. He licked a fat stripe through your slit collecting your cum on his tongue and smiling when you jumped. 
“Oh I promise. To hell with five minutes. Lick that cum off while I eat you good angel. You’re gonna get this cock again.” And he did. Felix fucked you all night long. You lost count of the number of orgasms the man gave you. It made him so hard seeing you clench and ooze for him, he went wild making you cum. Finally when your bodies gave out on you, the both of you fell asleep tangled up in Felix’s bed. 
“WELL I’LL BE GOD DAMNED! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!” You and Felix both jolted awake and upright gripping for blankets, sheets, anything to cover up with. There in Felix’s bedroom doorway, a tad more than shocked, was Rosa. You were so worried that she was pissed at you for sleeping with her brother, you felt so guilty. Felix started to explain. 
“Rosa look w-” 
“To think! I was rotting away in prison and you’re here boning my bestie?” When you heard the lilt to her voice you knew she wasn’t mad. You and Felix may have never told her but the girl is not dumb, she knows when she see two idiots in love. Felix rubbed the sleep out of his eyes more. You groaned and slumped back in bed still exhausted from the marathon of love making you and Felix had the night before. 
“One it was the drunk tank, two I called they wouldn’t let me bail you out. Also no one told you to go Mike Tyson on the guy.” Rosa scoffed as if she’d heard the most ridiculous thing. 
“You think I wasn’t knocking teeth for my bestie?! Do you even know me? Also keep it in mind cause it’s what I’ll do to you if you hurt her.” He threw up his hands. 
“What the fuck, I'm your brother!” She shook her head. 
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“Don’t remind me. Now both of you get some god damned pants on we have an itinerary to keep!” 
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hellsslibrary · 5 months
Text
⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚NSFW Alphabet with Azul Ashengrotto˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆
DNI : minors.
!!Warnings : switch!top!male!reader, switch!bottom!Azul, size difference kink, oral, toys, cock warming, praise/humiliation kink, power dynamic, ink(I'm not sorry).
#a.n. : While everyone is writing kinktobers, I'm still trying to finish this. But wait after the alphabets, there will be kinktober... In November, to make it more convenient (and maybe earlier, if I try). Also, no pictures today because I want to redo the decor, and I'm writing this part of Azul for two beautiful ladies, so...(I'll add them later)
A = Aftercare (What are they like after sex?)
He is embarrassed about this (just a little), but he will help put things in order in what he and his partner have done. Prefers to rest a bit before cleaning, but if his partner starts, he will certainly help too. Especially if he was in a dominant position.
B = Body Part (Their favorite body part as well as their partners)
Well, in your body it would... Certain parts. He definitely has a kink for the size difference (you can't argue with me, I want to pin him against the wall). And he will love anything if it is bigger than his body parts? Palms, muscles, if any, tongue, di—. Yes.
Honestly, he really likes his chest, and not just the nipples specifically, he likes it when his partner touches him anywhere on the chest in general. I just have a headcanon that he has very petite chest, even for a guy and well... Sorry.
C = Cum (basically anything related to sperm)
So... His sperm has the most ordinary consistency. It is released quite a bit during orgasm, but it tastes quite salty. There is his ink in the sperm (fanfiction with the overblot form of Azul is always in my head, maybe I’ll write them too someday)
Mmm, I think he likes it when people cum in his mouth. Fish sperm, according to internet experts, is simply disgusting. So he likes this taste, definitely.
D = Dirty Secret (Self-explanatory, their dirty secret)
He is the power bottom almost always, simply because he is flattered by the idea of control. But damn, he has moments where he just wants you to take it all into your own hands and take it as you please, mostly without considering his opinion (but still having his consent to it, of course).
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they are doing?)
... No. Simply no. He's definitely a virgin. I doubt he even knows much about sex in theory. Well, dick, hole there, sperm, orgasm. That's all, okay?
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Doggy style~. Don't lie to me that you didn't want to bend him over his table in the VIP room, I won't believe you (it's not exactly doggy style, but who cares). He mostly refuses to look you in the face when you're dominant, so why not.
If he is dominant... Missionary position? I just like the idea of a dominant bottom underneath a service top and well... Azul would be a good fit. He likes to be snuggled anyway.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious at the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)
Extremely serious, but with a hint of playfulness, if that makes sense. For example, if he has sex with a partner, it means that they literally mean the world to him and he is exposing a part of himself that is really vulnerable, so he likes it if both parties take it very seriously, but he also likes to have an opportunity to tease you and pull your strings just to see how you react.
H = Hair (How well groomed is it? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
I wouldn't say he's shaved, but his hair is definitely short, so there's no real need for that. The color is absolutely identical and they are also slightly curly, just like this hairstyle...
I = Intimacy (How are they feeling at the moment? Romantic aspect.)
He is very romantic in general. As I said earlier, he exposes a part of himself that is truly vulnerable, so when his partner takes it seriously, he feels very loved, generally respected and accepted, so he becomes much more romantic both sexually and in general .
J = Jack off (Main canon of masturbation)
He has a lot of stress in his life, you know? So, fuck... I think he would like to do this more often, but he doesn't do it often anyway. He still prefers your hands.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
He probably likes to be humiliated and praised at the same time, and I can't explain it for the world, but I know it. Also likes power dynamics, likes to be bossed around and have less power than the other person, but still respected. But when it comes to dominating you—... For now. He also loves getting your cock warm (sorry). Well... I like to attribute this kink to all busy characters, except for Vil, what will you do to me.
L = Location (Favorite places to do things)
Very personal to him, so the only place he could really do this is either his room, his partners room, or some motel if he's really desperate. Specifically and for the most part, this is his room because he knows where everything is and he has certain toys that he can just pull out whenever he wants. Although... With a lot of persuasion or no choice (if one of you was EXTREMELY horny), he would agree to have sex in a less secluded place
M = Motivation (what turns them on, turns them on)
When he and his partner have a truly romantic relationship (that is, serious) or when you start whispering all sorts of dirty things in his ear and touching his thighs, for example.
N = No (Something they wouldn't do is disabled)
Hmm, I should at least list with someone no (with Vil there will be a direct list, lol), but Azula will also receive this honor. Rape, he also really doesn't like threesomes because he feels it's more about getting laid than actually caring about each other and wants to dedicate all his love to one person in particular. And also his real form until a very distant moment in the relationship.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Receiving. You can't tell me otherwise because this man looks like he was made to be flexed, especially with his skinny waist like...(sorry, I got carried away) and he probably doesn't mind either sit on your face (if that’s what you’re into, of course). The ratio would be something like this: 60% for you, 40% for you.
He's not particularly good at giving blowjobs, but it's all made better by his enthusiasm to bring you to orgasm as quickly as possible... As long as he's not teasing or denying your orgasm, of course.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
He is slow and sensual as he loves to enjoy every moment he can spend with his partner in this way. Also wants to make sure that the other person knows that he loves them for real, and not just for sex.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickie games, how often, etc.)
Doesn't like quick games, but if he's really busy and his partner wants to do it, he'll agree to one. Well... Actually, they happen quite often, if I may confess.
R = Risk (are they playing with experiments? Are they taking risks? etc.)
Willing to take risks, but very quickly draws a line under what he doesn't like to do (he absolutely doesn't want many things until he becomes comfortable with his boyfriend/he has more trust in him). He wants to spend time with his partner as fully as possible.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they last? How long will they last?)
He becomes very weak in this position, so can usually only last about 7-10 rounds at most (still a reminder that this is a magical world, kittens). He actually only tries three or so, but if his partner wants to try a few more, he's more than welcome. True, only a few.
T = Toys (Do they have toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He probably has a dildo that he pleasures himself with from time to time, but he only really uses one. He takes good care of it and always makes sure it's properly cleaned so he doesn't get an infection or get sick or anything like that. Not a big fan of toys in general, but if that's what you want, he's okay with it.
U = Unfair (How much they love to tease)
He really likes both sides of the coin. He enjoys both teasing his partner and receiving teasing from him. Loves it when he squirms under his partner and he starts making comments about it, although he always complains about it, he likes it. And I also like the completely mirrored version.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Very loud because he often forgets to be quiet, the only thing he can really think about is his partner at that moment so nothing else matters. Although, if you persuade him to have sex outside of your rooms with him... He will hardly utter a sound, he is too ashamed.
W = Wild Card (random character headcanon)
He... Loves... Jerk... You... With...His... Tentacles. Okay, listen to me. When in the end, you gain his trust completely, he will agree to many things in his form. And damn... The tentacles are clearly faster and more skillful than his arms (even if they are quite chubby).
X = X-ray (Let's see what's going on under those clothes)
12 cm/just under 5 inches. He has a mole on his balls. His balls are surprisingly quite large and plump.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
Like I said, his sex drive is quite high considering his stress level, but on average... He's fine with about 2-3 times a week. Although, what if you want more? He's all yours.
Z - Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep later)
Doesn't fall asleep right away, he likes to compliment his partner or talk a little before he falls asleep. If his partner is asleep, he can simply lie there for 10-20 minutes and come to the realization of what he just did before falling back to sleep.
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