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#i'll finish this animation some day
theletterwsartflap · 9 months
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basically what I thought of when seeing that text post
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b4kuch1n · 1 year
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fuck it sk8 sketches from da sketchbook. get sk8ed idiot
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yamzanimatics · 4 months
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They're a notorious couple of cats!
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mar64ds · 8 months
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By any chance, do you intend on getting voice actors on board for your game?
that'd be cool but right now this project is not even meant to be an actual game, because i have no idea how to code, it's just an idea of a sam and max game that i think it would be cool if it existed, i work on this project from time to time for fun and maybe one day i'll be able to post multiple scenes that give you a better idea of how the story goes
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dutchie-dd · 8 months
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I wanna make an animation meme... I don't think I have the time, but I *really* wanna make one... Maybe the soldier poet king one? Maybe a different one? TBD and probably something that won't be done for a LONG while.
Also hey hi howdy, it's been a bit 👋🏻 Work life be busy, art life be screaming for help 😂 If you have any animation meme suggestions, please feel free to comment here or drop it in the ask box. I can't guarentee answers due to my busy work life, but I will see it at least. <3
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astrxealis · 1 year
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really want to read more and more literature (esp classics!) aghhhh yesterday iirc i was on a walk with my mom and twin and an old guy (not a weirdo dw) who was jogging or walking too actually asked what book i was carrying and it's a little funny bcs uhm he just went "oh a classic!" you see. i was carrying dante's inferno. which i still haven't properly started to read but anyways he might... if my mom is right... be the local parish guy so oopsies !! LMAO anyways yeah really interested in lovecraft for a while now! horror scares me and gives me paranoia but i also enjoy the writing of it? and i remember once that something/someone said my writing is kinda similar to his. hm.
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i never talk about literature here but hi i grew up reading books and i really love literature. both fiction and non-fiction! admittedly i#less prefer modern books because i prefer classics and all that? and i kinda fucking hate people who only like boring and/or famous#literature lmfao fuck you but anyways putting my bitterness aside! arthur conan doyle with 'sherlock' of course & 'a dream within a dream'#dazai with 'no longer human' is something i think i'll really enjoy reading one day as well and hmm#i never properly read 'lord of the rings' despite my relative having the books and i borrowed it once? but didn't make the time to actually#read it unfortunately :(( 'the great gatsby' is something i also have yet to read and then jane austen's works!#and then. louisa may alcott ... i asked my mom right now about her books that we have/had and i did not fucking know we had#'little women' all this time holy shit. i remember reading 'a modern cinderella' but also i am unsure now... but yeah. that/those too!#shakespeare's works are of course a must-read hehe we do have 'the tempest' and i've read a couple of his works but only a little bit#either based off the knowledge i just. know. or for school back then! but yeah. you probably know his works already lmao <3#and then uhmm 'phantom of the opera' we have now as well! bought it alongside yk. 'the tempest' 'inferno' 'paradise lost & regained'#a few months ago but tbh i haven't made it very far in reading any of them yet but i really want to sometime! and learn more guitar!#and get back to playing piano and also finish and play more games but anyways. yes.#george orwell's books! we have a few if i'm not mistaken (love my family fr) i really want to read them. my dad keeps recommending#his works for us to read. especially 'animal farm' but i've heard '1984' is really good. i also really want to read more of narnia!#only ever read the first book and wow it meant a lot to me tbh? with. growing up and all. and then i read a bit of another book hmm.#'to kill a mockingbird' was something i have wanted to read since i read 'the hunger games' as a kid because i for some reason connected#the two in a way because of the word mockingbird. and then uh other books that i don't think are as... classics. idk what are classics tbh.#BUT okay yeah i still haven't read 'a monster calls' but i know it made my twin and mom cry! and then 'the fault in our stars' we have but#i also haven't read it... haven't read the witcher books either and then george r. r. martin's stuff. tbf i'm not an adult yet so lmfao.#'the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy' i know my dad really wants to read and i know my tita has it but i'm not completely sure if we have#it ourselves too now? but yeah. really interested in that book as well. and then i have yet to read 'frankenstein' and then i'd love to#reread books from my childhood from authors like roald dahl !! and then man i should read more from#neil gaiman ... i've read his short stories? and a book. or few. i can't really remember.#anyways. okay. running out of tags but i really love literature ..... <3#also want to read more of modern literature tbh! the ones that are actually good tho <33
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orcelito · 11 months
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Curry chicken for BREAKFAST
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hedgehog-moss · 7 months
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Pampérigouste escaped today and I almost didn't make a post about it because it's just more of the same isn't it? do people who read this blog really want to hear about yet another Pampe escape? Then I thought, that's like asking if people who read detective novels really want to hear about yet another mysterious murder. Probably yes. Also Pampe would have been offended to have such a successful escape go unreported.
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I would like to say that my new fence is still fully Pampe-proof. She has not escaped a single time through breaking or outsmarting the fence, so now she does it by outsmarting me. Which doesn't happen all that often, because we are intellectual equals. But I let my guard down this morning—I'd just peeled some greenhouse carrots to make purée and I went into the pasture to distribute the peelings even though it was raining (see how I got punished for my selflessness?), and I left the gate open because I was right in front of it, obstructing it with my body.
Pampe dropped her carrot peelings and acted like she couldn't find them even though they were right under her feet, so I took pity on her and crouched down to gather them and offer them to her again (see how I'm getting punished for my compassion??) and she took advantage of this diversion. In the span of 0.2 seconds she slithered around me and she was out. It was a little bit beautiful. I don't know if you remember this photo of Pampe & Pyrgus, but it's a perfect illustration of what happened:
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I sighed and ignored her and finished distributing the peelings to the other animals, and then went to the barn to get muesli to lure my nuisance back to her pasture. After escaping she initially ran towards the woods, but since I ignored her the whole time, she emerged from the woods when I returned, like, wait, did you notice I escaped? Behind your back, just earlier? Did you notice how I won and you lost?
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It shouldn't have been difficult to get her back into the pasture with the help of her favourite snack; unfortunately Pampoldine is still a big baby who was distraught that her mum had left her behind yet again (she should be used to it, honestly, it's been like this since she was an infant), she started making these little panicky noises that Pampe has never paid any attention to—
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—so when I propped the gate open with a branch to get Pampe back inside, Poldine hurried out instead. I wasn't expecting this, I thought it was clear that I had the situation under control and her mum would be back in 5 seconds. You could have just waited 5 seconds, Poldine.
Pampelune had no interest in escaping, but she's the matriarch and where her herd goes, she goes, so once the other two were out she barrelled past me as well. I opened the gate to bring 1 llama in and instead 2 llamas went out. Pirlouit besides me was like
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For some reason the llamas galloped towards the road, instead of just hanging out in the woods where there's stuff to eat. Maybe because Pampe hadn't gone out in a long time and she wanted to be admired for her feat. Her wish was granted—2 cars stopped to say hi as I was miserably trotting after my llamas on the road in the rain. One of them was the post office lady who once herded my animals out of a pasture with her car, and she was like hop in, it'll be like old times!!!
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The two people who stopped their car were enchanted with the encounter and they both told me that they missed the days when Pampe Sightings on this road were a regular thing. No one sides with my fence in the Pampe v. Fence conflict. I love the post office lady though, she had a Niagara song playing in her car when I got in and a minute later I muttered "I'll sell her to the butcher" and she started singing "Pampe ♪ Je vais devoir te vendre au boucher ♫" to the tune of that song. It fit the tune really well, too.
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After we managed to get the llamas off the main road and back in the woods, she was like, godspeed, I wish I could continue chasing them with you but I have to go make lunch for my kids. I told her that now that the llamas were no longer on the road I'd just let them roam, they'll come home before night, no way I'm going to chase after them in the woods in this dog weather. So I went home and grumpily resumed peeling carrots and potatoes for my mash.
I sat in front of the window to do it so I could keep an eye on Pirlouit, who was wandering around the pasture like a cursed soul, drenched with rain, lonely and llamaforsaken. Sometimes he brayed to try and guide his friends back home, wherever they were, but he never brayed while I was filming. His braying is a poignant display of emotion and is not for public consumption.
I figured, if the llamas come back Pirou will spot them and perk up his immense ears, and I'll know to go out and open the gate. Instead at some point I looked up from my potatoes and saw my donkey finally at peace, grazing rather than pacing restlessly, and I went to look outside and his friends were back! And so was his appetite.
I had new peelings + some muesli to offer, but of course Pampe could tell this offering was a crude and blatant trap and refused to fall for it. Meanwhile her innocent daughter was like yay, snacks :) and followed me in the pasture, a llama entirely devoid of wiles.
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After I got Poldine back inside I went like WELL since NOBODY else wants that delicious MUESLI I guess these deserving chickens can have it—and Pampe was here in the blink of an eye to shoo the hens away from her muesli.
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She was grudgingly smiling about it, too. Like, point for you.
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I love this pic where my chicken looks like she's herding the animals back in their pasture all by herself.
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Everyone is home! Pampe and Pandolf are walking away in search of new adventures, Poldine follows her mum because of her abandonment issues, and Pirlouit is also following everyone very closely, like, I'm not getting left behind again.
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I finally managed to cook my mashed carrots & potatoes (+ herbs from the greenhouse) and it's so nice to make food with nothing but ingredients you grew yourself! (To be completely honest I only managed to grow 3 carrots in the past few months but that's because I neglected them in pursuit of more flashy summer vegetables)
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I also had an apple-plum compote for dessert made with my own fruit <3 Okay, the cheese course in between was store-bought. One of my friends really wants me to get goats and be self-sufficient in cheese and when I told her I would be constantly chasing my goats over hill and dale because they have a reputation to be insufferable escape artists she was like, what difference will it make to your life...
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finally jumping on this trend lol. deadline for giving this notes: MAY 10, 2024. (my birthday!)
100 NOTES: i'll finish my current read (The Great Gatsby)
200 NOTES: i'll work on my current writing WIPs every day and i might start doing WIP wednesday?
300 NOTES: i'll actually learn to draw anatomy...
400 NOTES: i'll make an art blog/give my current art blog a makeover & actually post on it
500 NOTES: I'LL DRAW JULIUS CAESAR BIG NATURALS!
and finally, however many notes this ends up with, i'll write that many more words of one of my WIPS (i'll have y'all vote when this is done.) (edit: here's the poll.)
i don't expect this to get that many notes lol but yeah :) (if this doesn't get that many notes, i'll lower the numbers.)
@real-sephora what have i done
EDIT: this got wayyy more notes than i could've imagined. i'm changing the deadline to April 17, 2024 & adding some new goals for y'all.
700 NOTES: i'll start practicing korean everyday! (i'm korean american but i never learned the language nor did i get in the habit of practicing. so. i need this.)
750 NOTES: i'll make a poll of random references i should add to the winning WIP! (the winner from the linked poll above.)
800 NOTES: i'll learn how to do animation!
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writersdrug · 7 days
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Simon Riley x Dog Sitter! Reader pt. 2
<- Previous - Next ->
Warnings: light cursing, light nsfw, Simon being the tiniest bit of a creep
A/N: so originally this was just a fluffy thought I had a few weeks ago... it's slowly turning into a longer, multi-chapter series, and Simon is a bit darker than I had intended him to be... but the story is still going to stay relatively normal (there will be full NSFW further down the line, lol)!
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Sure enough, Simon had emailed you by Tuesday afternoon. You noticed how... unprofessional it was. Not that he had been rude or obscene, but it was obviously written by someone who never had to write many emails for his career.
here is riley's routine. she likes walks, usually 3 or 4 a day. she eats one scoop in the morning and one at night. she doesn't finish her food all at once, but she'll come back to it. if you're gonna give her more cookies, just two per day. fill water every morning. around the house, if you could just dust and clean up any dog hair, that would be great. let me know if meeting me tomorrow at 0900 for the key works. I ship out thursday. thanks.
Simon.
You chewed your thumb nail, reclining on your couch with a confused expression. Was he irritated with you for some reason? He didn't show it at the interview if he did have any hostile feelings... you reminded yourself that he was a rather gruff man, and maybe that just bled into his written words, too. You rolled your shoulders and started working out your reply.
Hello Simon! Tomorrow works perfect for me, I'll be there by 9 am!
Does Riley have any favorite places she likes to go? Any particular spots or trails she enjoys? Also, are there any rules you have for her, like being on the couch? Is she ok going to the dog park? Lastly, does she take any medications I should be aware of?
See you soon!
You sent the message, sighing and dropping your head back against the arm of the sofa. You were honestly thankful that you'd gotten the job, even if Simon was a rather stiff client. You finally quit your shitty job, and while you did still have babysitting your niece and nephew, you never charged for that - the only time you were "paid" for it was when you took them out somewhere fun, and your sister forced you to accept money for the admission fee.
So this gig fell into your lap at the perfect time. And the fact that you had beat every other person Simon had interviewed made your ego soar. It wouldn't be a bad idea to make a career out of this, you thought.
Your phone dinged - you held it above your face, and saw that Simon had already responded. You sat upright and opened the email.
she only takes aspirin when her leg flares up. no more than twice a day. no favorite trails, we just go around the block a few times. she can sit on the couch, my bed too, but she'll need help getting up. no human food is the only other rule. never took her to a dog park, but if you really want to, that's fine. she's good with other dogs.
Simon.
You frowned. Walking the same block every day, multiple times each day, sounded awful. It wasn't even close to animal neglect, but you couldn't imagine walking the same route every single time. If it didn't drive Riley insane, it certainly would for you.
You read back over the email, your eyes lingering on "if her legs flare up." Simon had never discussed Riley having arthritis with you - and you sincerely hoped that was the reason she had leg pain, and nothing else. You made a mental note to ask him about it tomorrow as you began to write your reply.
Understood. Thanks again!
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"Here's the basement." Simon said, leading you down the stairs and into a dullish room. It had a cheaply-manufactured desk, what appeared to be a dining chair (not matching the dining set upstairs), a stuffed bookshelf, and some cardboard boxes filled with paper. A fan stood in the far corner, and next to it was the washing room. Much like what he had shown you of the rest of the house, it was bland and drab.
You looked around, letting out a polite noise of approval. Truth be told, Simon's life seemed awfully boring to you. Your mother had always told you that military men were always overly practical, in more than just home decor. They never cared much for the environment around them, as long as there was no mold, or anything similar. But you had never expected it to be so brutally true.
You knew he had a life outside of his home - from the way he described it, he was usually deployed more often than he was in his own home country. But you wondered - what did he do for fun, besides watch the telly? Did he have friends, and were they all like him? Any hobbies?
"If for whatever reason y' need to clean up a stain, you can find solution in there." He said, pointing to the washer room. "Other than that, nothin' much to see down 'ere."
You followed him as he trudged back up the stairs. Riley was sat upright on the floor, watching you and Simon move about the house with an observant expression.
"The only other things I'll ask you to do is hoover n' dust when it looks like it needs it." He said, leaning against the kitchen counter. "There really isn't much else t' do; of course, if you do see anything that needs fixin' you can always text me." He rolled his head from side to side, wincing as he worked out a crick in his neck. "Might not answer immediately, but I'll see it."
You nodded, standing in the walkway of the kitchen. Even with him leaning against the counter, muscles hidden under his sweatshirt, he was huge. For a brief moment, you imagined what he looked like on the field, dressed in his uniform and holding a gun - but you quickly shooed the thought from your mind before it had the chance to latch on and fester. "Gotcha. And just so I know, do you let Riley sleep with you?"
Simon paused in confusion before he responded. "Come again?"
"Like- you know, if I crash on the couch, is she allowed up with me?" You said, shifting your weight. You couldn't quite tell if Simon was irked by your question, or if he was genuinely confused.
He paused again. "Uh, yea, that's fine. If y' don't mind waking up covered in 'er slobber."
You laughed. "Nah, I'm used to it. A little drool never bothered me. Although, if I do need to wash up, am I alright to use the shower? Or would you rather I use my own back at my flat?"
Suddenly, it clicked in Simon's head. You were planning on sleeping at his house.
He had assumed you would just stop by for walks and meals - he didn't expect you to actually live here while he was gone, and he wasn't sure how it made him feel. He'd never had anyone else spend the night. Hell, no one ever visited, besides the rare occasions of the rest of the 141 stopping by. Even then, they never stayed for longer than a conversation or two.
But, once he took a second to think about it, he realized it might be better if you did stay - at least, while he was on missions. Riley would be bored out of her mind if she was alone that long, especially after spending the past several weeks with Simon constantly there. It would be good for someone to be there when he wasn't, and you seemed like you would be the best person for that, of course.
"Sure, 's fine." He said, rubbing the back of his head. "Just don't touch my shit in there."
"Don't worry about that..." You said quietly, "catch me dead and cold before I touch a 3-in-1 anything."
He chuckled and rolled his eyes. It was refreshing that you could handle his gruffness - most people treated him like a landmine, never wanting to say the wrong thing and set him off. You seemed to have taken life by the horns, like you weren't afraid to bite back at someone. He wondered if that was all for show, or if you really would snap back if he was to test you...
He pushed himself off the counter and reached into the drawer behind him, pulling out a spare key. He walked over to you and held it out. You were just about to take it, when he suddenly yanked it back.
You faltered. "Sorry...?"
"You lose this key..." Simon began lowly, "n' I'll frame you for murder. Understood?"
You gaped, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water. He didn't really mean that... did he? You waited for him to laugh and say he was just joking... but he never did. His eyes bored into yours so intensely, making you shiver, as he waited for you to answer.
"Y-yes, sir. Understood." You said, voice wavering a bit.
He grunted in satisfaction, then handed you the key. You let out the breath you had been holding, then cautiously took the key, before immediately attaching it to your lanyard. You didn't want to take any chances at losing it - not after Simon's threat. You took a deep breath and smiled at him, trying to dust the exchange off of your shoulders.
"You can come 'round tomorrow after o' nine hundred, I'll be out by then." He said, turning sideways to moce past you and heading towards the door. You followed behind and rubbed Riley's head when you passed her; she let out a contented sound.
"Feel free t' use the kitchen if you'll be stayin' overnight." He opened the door for you and leaned against it.
"Will do, thank you!" You chirped, hovering on the landing outside of his house, right were you were two days ago. "Thank you for showing me around - good luck on your- mission- deployment, thingamajig!"
He huffed. "Promise I will, luv."
Your spine tingled in response to his comment. Get it together, don't get your knickers in a twist over a client. You thought. You straightened your posture and cleared your throat.
"Well, see you around!" You said with a smile, then hopped down the steps to your car.
Simon waved, taking a moment to watch you pull out of his driveway. He shut the door and leaned back against it, exhaling slowly through his nostrils.
He was an observant man - he had to be, with his occupation. Your reaction to being called "luv" didn't fly over his head. And it's not like Simon didn't know the effect he had on women... he knew how he looked, how he presented himself, and he saw the reactions it got him.
But with you, something felt different. He saw your reaction, and a part of him wanted to chase after it. To see what you would do if he continued to apply pressure to your weak spots. Would you blush? Would you call him out? Would you drop the gig altogether?
He thought about how easily the word "sir" had rolled off of your tongue. He thought about how you would look, all tuckered out on his couch, donned in whatever pajamas you decided to wear, your face peaceful and expression soft as you slept - he imagined you in his shower, the room filled with warm steam and the scent of your shampoo, water hitting your skin as you-
Riley barked, making Simon jolt where he stood. She stared at him, ears turned to the side as she whined. She could always tell when he began to dissociate, and knew just as much as he did that it wasn't a good sign.
Simon sighed, running a hand down his face. "Get it together, fuckin' creep." He muttered to himself. "I need a bloody hobby, f' Christ's sake..."
He blamed it on the upcoming mission. He would typically stress about it beforehand, and if there was anything else that could occupy his mind, he would fixate on it. Right now, unfortunately, you were the victim. But he buried it deep down into his subconscious - it wasn't fair to you.
He pushed himself off of the door and headed towards the washroom, adjusting his crotch as he went. He figured he should at least tidy it up a bit, since you would be using it. The only other people who had been in there were Johnny and Captain Price, and of course, they never cared if there were trimmers on the counter, or if the mirror had splotches from toothpaste residue.
Hopefully, he'd forget all about you - at least, while he was on the mission.
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bumblequinn · 6 months
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hi @sourpatchsquids! thank you for your question.
as an artist with ADHD, i know this struggle very well. unfortunately offering advice on this kind of thing can be tricky, because what works for me may not work for you (and vice versa!). nonetheless, i can try; take whatever works for you, forget the rest, or reshape any part of it as you see fit. :)
but before i offer any actual tools, i have one caveat. i want you to take a moment to reflect and consider if you should be:
changing expectations
the timing of this question seems fated, because just the other day i had a therapy session wherein i expressed my grief and frustration over struggling to work lately due to my seasonal depression. it's not fair that i'm struggling just because it got a little darker outside! i just want the spark i had in the summer! i was so much more consistent!
my therapist's response: nothing about human beings is consistent. we get sick, we get tired, we get hungry and thirsty (and thirsty) and sad and lonely and restless and stressed and overwhelmed. this all gets amplified for folks who are atypical in some way or another.
when my therapist compared our seasonal cycles to those of plants and other animals, who wilt and slow down and hibernate, i protested aloud that i wanted to be a perennial instead. at this she said: even perennials change with the seasons. rose bushes have to be pruned, sometimes down to half their height! it was a dose of perspective i didn't particularly want, but really needed.
so when you're struggling to work through executive dysfunction, burnout, or brain fog, it can help to first check in with yourself about a few things. what do you have the capacity for right now? do you need any accommodation? and if so, what changes you might make to accommodate yourself?
with practice and self reflection, i've learned a handful of specific routines that help me when i'm struggling with creative work, which i'll detail next. note that while your question is specifically about music and i am specifically a musician, i believe that all of these suggestions can apply to most any form of digital creative work.
with that in mind:
#1: work slower
when i'm at the top of my game, i can get a LOT done in a day. but when i'm depressed, fatigued, or distracted, i just can't go full steam. sometimes i'll try to convince myself that i can if i just push harder, but what actually ends up happening is that i'm just fiddling with settings and going in circles rather than moving forward.
instead of that, when i want to work a lot but can't, i try to work slow. how slow? however slow i need to. take four hours to figure out the melody for a single verse. take all day to figure out that drum groove. yeah, i take a lot of breaks in between. who says i have to be my Absolute Most Productive Every Day Or Else? that's the puritan work ethic talking. kill it. be kind to yourself.
i'm reminded of advice i once read about some super successful and prolific author (gaiman? king? pratchett?) who said they wrote only four hundred words every weekday. that's already less than the word count of this post, and i'm only—[travels into the future to check my final word count]... 22.8% of the way through writing it!
now, i don't think i could function that way, because ADHD means some days i'm hyperfocused like crazy, and other days i just have no steam at all (more on that in #4-6). but it seems to me that if even someone highly respected in their profession can achieve what they have with only a little bit of work on a regular basis, maybe i don't have to punish myself for not pumping out a finished work every single week.
doing less work per day means you're much less likely to burn out, which does a lot for working more consistently. if that consistency still doesn't look like a five-day work week, that's okay! as long as it helps you work even a little more often when you want to, it's something worth doing.
however, if you're still feeling truly stuck, all hope isn't lost. you can still try:
#2: switch projects
sometimes the reason i'm moving slow is because of a bad brain day, but sometimes the reason is that i just cannot muster the motivation to do the specific task i'm trying to do right now. ADHD is fueled by novelty and interest, and if i'm not interested in what i'm doing, or it's feeling stale, that's a sign that i need to switch gears.
this is why first it's helpful for me to have more than one project going at a time. this might mean completely unrelated works, or it might just mean related tracks as with the music for a game like SLARPG or susan taxpayer.
the idea here is not to start a dozen different projects and bounce around them like i'm playing whac-a-mole—though i have done that. (i don't recommend it.) the idea here is to have a manageable number of different projects i can be working on so that if i get bored or stuck on something, i have fallback options.
what that number of projects is depends entirely on the week. maybe right now it's two, maybe another time it's three. i would probably be getting carried away if i tried more than that, but that's just my own limit. maybe yours is different. that's something for you to think about.
but it doesn't have to stop there.
#3: switch focus
maybe there is this one project that i just HAVE to work on, but the task i'm trying to do at this stage just isn't coming to me. okay, well, why don't i try working on a different task?
let's say i can't figure out what i want to do with the melody in one part of the song:
what if i try jumping ahead to a different part of the melody? ...no, i'm stumped on melodies today. okay, how about working on the drums instead? ...hmm no, i think i'm just completely tapped out on writing parts right now. alright, what if i organized my tracks, making sure they're all grouped and named in a way that i can work with easily? what if i did a rough volume balance for the mix?
and so on. if that's not enough to shake the off stuckness, i might consider: what can i do to make this project more interesting to me?
what happens if i try using an instrument or effect that i almost never reach for? what if i try sampling something obscure? what if i bang out the drums using my midi keyboard instead of drawing it in on the piano roll?
any approach that breaks me out of my usual habits is bound to get that feeling of novelty and fun back when i need it.
or maybe i can't do any of that right now, and so i take the time to answer a question from a fellow musician instead. i consider that part of my work, too, in a broader sense. check in with yourself and figure out what you can do right now. the rest will still be there later.
but okay, let's say you try switching gears, and switching again, and again, and nothing is moving. you try new approaches, but that wall of awful is insurmountable in this moment. it happens! the next thing you might try is:
#4: learn something new
when you aren't able to make progress on your projects, you can still make progress on your knowledge and craft. i often find this stokes a flame of inspiration in me where there wasn't one before. and even when it doesn't, it still gets my brain out of that feeling of stuckness and dread and into one of thought and action. learning also benefits in the long term because it adds to the well of knowledge from which you draw for all your future works.
for all the awfulness that exists on the internet, it remains an absolute treasure trove of teaching. there's an endless ocean of videos, blog posts, and articles from which you might learn something about your craft. (and if you sail the seven seas, plenty of book PDFs as well. 🦜🏴‍☠️)
it's true that the quality and depth of information out there can vary wildly, but in my experience most resources get at least some things right. and the more you research, practice, and figure out what works for you, the better you will learn to differentiate between the advice worth keeping, and the advice to forget. (that goes for all of what i'm saying here, too!)
that said, since our shared focus is music, a few resources i would highly recommend are:
music theory and composition music matters, 12tone, charles cornell, music with myles, 8-bit music theory, and this introduction by andrew huang
mixing and production dan worrall (especially this series for fabfilter), kush after hours, red means recording, andrew huang, alice yalcin efe, in the mix
general inspiration nahre sol, ben levin, david hilowitz, game score fanfare, posy, jerobeam fenderson, open reel ensemble, and ELECTRONICOS FANTASTICOS!
(if any readers have their own helpful resources for creating music or any other media, feel free to share in the replies & reblogs! 💓)
of course, on an especially bad day, it might be a challenge to seek out information, let alone retain it. that can feel pretty bad, but remember: be kind to yourself. the next thing you might consider trying is:
#5: consume art you love
not just music. books. shows. movies. games. illustration. animation. whatever moves and inspires you.
but do it intentionally. don't just pull up some random thing the algorithm suggested! check in with yourself about what you want (or are able) to engage with right now. choose accordingly. if you get a little way into it and realize it's not scratching that itch, hit the bricks. check in with yourself again. wash, rinse, repeat, until you find whatever it is that speaks to you right now.
and do it actively, if you can. don't just let it go in one eye and out the other! really pay attention to the work. what do you like about it? what are its themes and motifs? what makes it work so well? what are its flaws, and how much do they matter? what might you do differently? you can write notes as you do this if it helps, but even simply noticing and thinking goes a long way.
what you don't want to do is come at this with a lens of shame or envy. you're not here just to say to yourself, "ugh, if only i could do THAT." it's okay if it happens. use that thought as a springboard for curiosity: "well okay, how DID they do that? do i have the resources for it? if so, how could i apply that to my own work? if not, how can i adapt it, or what do i need to learn?" keep your mind open and approach the work with a sense of wonder.
as a creative person, it's very easy to think, "i should be making something right now, not watching a movie!" but that thought forgets something vital: your art is a response in a conversation. of course the "language" you use is your own, and maybe if you're lucky you'll invent a new word. but most of the words you use have been around long before you were born. you're just one voice in a dialogue that spans continents and generations, and that's okay. it's even the whole point.
none of us is an island. we are profoundly social animals. just as we can't live without eating, we can't make without learning. so half of making art is consuming it. consider this part of the process as well.
and finally,
#6: rest, and live your life
let's say you're in really dire straits. you've tried working slower. you tried changing focus, you tried changing projects. you want to take in new information or actively engage with your favorite art, but you're not in the headspace for it. what now?
take a nap. take a walk. take a shower. eat a nice meal, or an okay one. talk to a friend. maybe even do that chore you've been putting off (you know the one).
it's human to always crave making, but you're not a machine—and even if you were, machines need regular maintenance, too! you wouldn't drive a car that's completely out of gas, and you won't do yourself any favors treating your body that way either.
i know that when you take a break it feels as though you're not accomplishing anything, but you are: you're taking care of your animal self. and while you do that, your creative brain doesn't stop working! much like windows, it has countless background processes running at any given moment, with inscrutable names like "cbdhsvc_692da" or "Microsoft Edge Update Service." it's true, i checked.
when you're stuck on a project and you step away to rest, your brain is still chipping away at your ideas unconsciously. i like to tell people, "it's percolating." much like waiting for a pot of water to boil, that idea is still heating up, even when you take a step away. just be sure to check in on it once in a while. the time will pass, and it'll be boiling again before long. :)
before i go, i'll leave you with one last thing to keep in mind as you try all of these strategies:
be kind to yourself.
being human is just about one of the hardest things you can do. let alone being a human trying to survive capitalism while living with disabilities! the last thing you need on top of that is to overwork yourself, talk to yourself negatively, or treat yourself harshly. there are plenty of other people in the world who do that to you—don't be one of them.
i'm not saying that you shouldn't try to challenge yourself, to test your limits and go above and beyond your ambitions, if that's what you want to do. just remember that hard work and self compassion are not mutually exclusive. so be careful not to bully yourself. take pride in the progress you make, even when it seems small. encourage yourself like you would a friend who's going through a hard time. and when you challenge yourself, be your own cheerleader.
i hope you find this advice helpful! remember, this is just what helps me, so don't feel like you have to follow any of it exactly. maybe taking time to learn new information helps break you out of your rut more than working slowly, so you reach for that tool first. maybe having multiple projects going at once is too distracting for you, so you prefer to stick to one at a time. whatever your needs are, feel free to alter and adapt these ideas to fit you.
thank you for reading, and i wish you the best of luck in your creating.
with care, bee 🐦
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xqueen-of-disasterx · 3 months
Note
How about intersex Natasha x fem reader where Natasha is basically on her hands and knees begging to fuck fem reader. Saying things like, "I'll make you feel so good." or "I only need 10 minutes."
High and dry
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Paring: fem!reader x Natasha Romanoff
Warnings: SMUT, begging, pet names, nipple play, switch!reader, switch!Nat, P in V, breeding kink, soft sex
!Disclaimer English is not my first language so please excuse any grammar or spelling errors. This story is completely fictional!
Masterlist-
"Please" I heard Natasha beg "Like I said Tasha I need to finish my mission report first" She signed loudly. She woke up from a perfect dream; she had been thrusting in and out your tight heat and then just as she was about to cum- her alarm went of leaving her high and dry. She awoke with you already up and taking a shower, because of both of your latest mission you had opted for a few days of home office together. You only came home yesterday evening as the both of you decided on cuddles instead of a steamy love making session.  
Now you where standing under the hot stream of the shower head, letting the hot droplets of water run over the soft skin of your delicate body. Only with a towel on you reentered the shared bedroom and Natasha felt like she just got even harder.
"I’ll go write the mission report now alright baby?" You leaned down to kiss her. Of course she noticed the big bulge in her pants with a little wet patch from her pre cum. "I hoped for some morning stretches first bunny?" She pulled you on top of her pelvis, you mewled at feeling the the bulge against your own crotch. 
"Natasha not now" It took an incurable amount of will power not to devour your delicious girlfriend, but finishing the mission report would be much smarter. After all a quickie rarely failed to become hours long of passionate love making between the sheets. She groaned rubbing her temples, you had rarely seen her so needy. 
A few hours later Natasha sneaked around the house like an animal searching for prey. "Natasha what’s the matter?" You already knew the answer to the question, but you wanted to hear her say it. "I need to fuck you, bunny, please" she mewled appearing behind your office chair to kiss your neck. "Natasha soon" you pushed her face away "I need to focus" 
"I’ll make you feel so good" She pushed her face into your neck to inhale your sweet smell. She was getting at you it was hard to say no to her anymore "I’ll only need 10 minutes" she cooed against your skin. You closed your laptop before catching her lips with yours. "Fuck Tasha, do it quick" She couldn’t hide her excitement she wanted to kiss every centimetre of your soft skin. She spun your office chair around to lift you up, your wrapped your legs around your waist as she carried you to to the bedroom. 
"Fuck sweetheart, ‘m gonna fuck this tight pussy so good." She threw you on the bed her hands going to the hem of your shirt pushing it up. She groaned in responds of seeing your stiff nipples. Her mouth latched onto your nipple teasing the hardened nub with her exerted tongue. You mewl at the sensation all the thought of the paper work long having left your clouded mind. 
"Fuck Nat I need you inside" You moaned out pushing her head further down your stomach. "let me ride you sweetheart" Nat nodded before laying down on her back. You helped her undress before pushing her boxers to her mid thigh her large penis standing against her stomach. You grabbed her semi hard lengthen before moving your fist up and down her hardening dick. 
You straddled her pelvis your hole hovering above her hardened dick. Her hands went to your hips guiding you down on her shaft. You let out an almost pornographic moan at her delicious stretch. You stilled for a moment to adjust to her length making Nat lose her mind. Your tight velvet walls hugging her shaft so good. Slowly you started to move you hips up and down and Natasha trusts up her into her tight heat groaning at he feeling.
You grab on the shoulders of your girlfriend before your lips meet hers. Her tongue went inside your mouth fighting your dominance, which after a fair fight she woman. Natasha needed more, more of your tight heat. Before you could say anything she had switched your positions pistoling inside your heat like an animal. 
Her hand went to your puffy clit playing with the bundle of nerves making the pleasure almost unbearable. Your wall pulsate around her cock, she knew how close you were and she felt the same. "Fuck baby can I cum inside please" She whined above you and the idea of her sed in your womb turned you on. "Fuck Natty fill me up" She brought you to your peak before having her peak yourself. You felt her hot cum shooting inside your womb as you cream her dick. 
“Fuck I needed that” Natasha laughed before pulling you into a tight embrace. “I’m sure you got time for another round”
:)
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giamee · 1 year
Text
𝐎𝐇 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄 𝐒𝐎 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐄!
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୨♡୧ pairings :: roommate!welt x reader ; roommate!blade x reader ; roommate!gepard x reader
୨♡୧ contains :: modern!au, nothing crazy maybe some suggestive stuff and talking about lack of shirts, alcohol consumption but like rlly mild like I'm talking a few glasses of wine
୨♡୧ gia's notes :: screaming sobbing crying i got welt AND sampo on the same 10 pull :> anyways first exam in five days lets fucking gooooo. something short and sweet in the meanwhile
୨♡୧ request :: @sentieence 𖦹 (hope that this is enough blade content for you, i threw in a couple extra hee hee har)
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𓆩♡𓆪 WELT
for an animator who mostly works from home, your roommate is surprisingly elusive
of course, you know what he looks like because you met him when you first moved in
he's smart, poised, handsome, and kind - as made apparent by his insistence on helping you move all of your boxes of belongings into the place
he was always polite, never overstepped boundaries, bid you a good morning or night whenever your paths crossed
and, well, that was about it
you knew that welt worked in his room, but if it weren't for his occasional appearances, it was almost like you were living entirely on your own
which wasn't exactly awful, per se, but you did want to get to know your roommate better
however, life's plans always manage to throw a wrench into the mix
your regular routine of work and returning home was interrupted with the unforeseen circumstance of having to stay later to finish a project in time- leaving you exhausted before you even left the building and began your journey back home
your stomach began growling as you climbed the stairs to your apartment, and you found yourself wondering what takeout you would rely on this evening to carry you through to the next day
those thoughts were interrupted by the enticing aroma of food cooking entering your nostrils as soon as you swung your front door open
you paused in confusion, taking a second to shed your shoes and coat before wandering into your kitchen, met with the surprising sight of your roommate with his back to you, humming quietly as he cooked himself a meal
you were almost hesitant to interrupt him, yet your stomach had other plans as it growled embarrassingly loud, causing welt to glance behind him and shoot you a quick smile before turning his attention back to the stove
"come sit, i'm making enough for two"
you grinned at his words, setting the table before settling down and watching welt cook with a practised grace
even in his own home, he dressed so formally, with his crisp button-down's sleeves rolled up to his reveal his forearms, the tendons rippling in such a way as he stirred the contents of the pan that you wondered just how an animator could have that physique-
you coughed to rid yourself of those thoughts, instead focusing on your drink as welt plated up the steaming food, placing one in front of you before taking a seat across from you
it all felt very intimate, and you tried not to get flustered as you made eye contact with your roommate from across the table
despite the easy expression he wore, his eyes met your gaze with an intensity that demanded you to match it, making you almost shrink back into your chair as welt nonchalantly took a bite, humming to himself in satisfaction
you followed his lead, feeling the tension in your shoulders as you sat back in your chair and appreciated welt's cooking
"you should cook more often" you sighed
welt let out a chuckle
"is that so?"
you hummed in affirmation, eagerly finishing your plate, the hot meal leaving you feeling fully satiated
you accidentally made eye contact with welt as you took your last bite, a certain look of endearment adorned by him that had you stuttering, teeth scraping unpleasantly around your fork
"i'll cook as much as you want to as long as you join me for the meal"
you almost choked on your food, feeling very self conscious all over again as welt's gaze remained fixed on you, chin propped up by his arm as that same accursed look on his face appraised you
"that would be nice"
𓆩♡𓆪 BLADE
on all counts, your roommate was an asshole
he was irritable, didn't clean up after himself unless you nagged him, and had woken you from your sleep more times than you can count because of whatever stupid shit he's up to that requires him to thump his way around the flat
it was infuriating, but hey, rent was cheap and the place you're in isn't half bad
all you have to do now is endure the circumstances for the remainder of your lease
you did your best to avoid the aptly named blade and his sharp mouth
mornings were particularly risky, with his half-asleep state invoking even more snide comments than usual as he makes himself a cup of coffee, black with no sugar
and then he proceeds to leave the unwashed mug in the sink
it pisses you off when you come back home at the end of your day and see it later alongside a stack of other dishes, dark ring of residual coffee staining the perfectly good piece of ceramic, and there's some string inside you that snaps and has you huffing and puffing your way over to your flatmate's room and knocking on it persistently
once, twice, three times
you hear an exaggerated sigh before the sound of his muffled footsteps, and then the door is being swung open and you're ready to chew him out for what feels like the millionth time
and then your eyes register the fact that youre stood face to face with his bare chest and the words die on your lips
the baggy clothes he wore really didn't serve him justice, and it's an active effort to peel your eyes away from his toned chest to meet his eyes, only to see a flash of amusement as he watches you make a fool of yourself
"something wrong?"
the bastard's enjoying this
"wash your dishes" you squeak out, before hightailing it back to your own room and trying to forget the image of your hot asshole roommate without a shirt on that was now branded onto the back of your eyelids
and it seemed that blade hadn't forgotten your encounter either
the next morning you were pleasantly surprised to see the dishes were done and set to dry, and you even picked out the same mug blade had used yesterday for your own coffee
the sound of the kettle must have masked his footsteps, because you almost jumped out of your skin when you heard blade grunt out a morning before reaching for the just-boiled water and the mug you placed on the counter
you turn around to tell him to get his own, though you're surprised to be greeted with the wide expanse of his bare back, all muscle that coils and stretches as he added milk and sugar to the drink and stirred it with a spoon and turning to face you yet again, smirk adorning his face as he took a long sip from your own cup
you bite the inside of your cheek, focusing your gaze onto his smug face as he leaned back against the counter, taking an exaggerated stretch back that let his muscles flex
"i thought you didn't like milk and sugar"
"i don't, but you do"
blade slid the mug across the counter back towards you, making his way out of the kitchen leisurely as if he hadn't just inadvertedly confessed that he memorised how you make your coffee
you take a sip and your suspicions are confirmed as it tastes the exact same as you make it, and you smile down at your drink despite yourself
having blade as a roommate might just work out after all
𓆩♡𓆪 GEPARD
gepard my beloved
honestly good luck living with this man and not having a massive crush on him
you feel guilty, but the thought of just how good of a boyfriend gepard would be has crossed your mind multiple times
the domestic setting of already living together doesn't exactly help these thoughts, either
over the late nights you've spent staying up talking, and the manoeuvring around each other in your cramped cosy apartment that has led to more brushes and lingering touches than you could count, this great image of intimacy has been constructed over the past months
the fact that he's single and painfully attractive is something that you're acutely aware of as well
even when alone, your mind often wandered back to that glaring fact, and on the rare occasion you let yourself indulge in the what ifs and maybes surrounding gepard
and with a couple glasses of wine in you right now, those thoughts were running rampant
it was a friday night and you were finally home from work, dressed in your comfiest clothes and just unwinding in the living room watching a trashy romcom with some takeout
and speak of the devil, you heard the familiar sound of your door being unlocked as gepard let himself in with a mumbled greeting, the door soon slamming shut behind him
you didn't turn your head, instead listening to him curse as he tripped over something in the hall, and his muted footsteps as he made his way to where you were sat
"long day, huh?" you teased, turning your head just in time to watch him loosen his tie with one hand, the pale column of his throat suddenly leaving your throat dry and reaching for your glass again
"something like that"
gepard shuffled over, intercepting it before you could place it back down on the table and took a sip from the same spot you did, making you feel flushed for reasons other than the alcohol working its way through your system
you placed your feet on the floor, about to shuffle up on the couch in anticipation of him taking a seat next to you, though the man surprised you as he crouched down, opting to sit in between your legs, his broad shoulders nestling comfortably against your knees
well, that was new
you zeroed in on his hair, reaching out your hand before thinking and combing through his tousled locks
you didn't expect the content sigh he let out at your simple action, watching the way his shoulders softened and he leaned back into you, his head now resting comfortably against your thigh
the ends of his hair tickled your bare skin, and you tried not to squirm at the feeling of his eyelashes fluttering closed as he hummed gently at your ministrations, basking in your presence
the thought of gepard having the exact mannerisms of a cat crossed your mind, and the giggle that escaped your lips was not lost on him, as he craned his head back to look you at you, brows furrowed at your mirth
"what?"
"nothing," you hummed, continuing to card your fingers through his silky hair, absentmindedly twisting a lock of it around your finger, watching the man sigh and sink back against you from his place on the floor
the weight of him resting against your legs just felt so right, and you felt yourself begin to relax into the position as well, your attention turning back to the movie as you continued your tipsy affection on your roommate
that seemed to be a sobering thought as you remembered that fact, and you were half tempted to pull away if it weren't for gepard looping his hands around your thighs, thumbs tracing absentminded patterns of his own into your skin, eyes fixed straight ahead
well, if he's not complaining, you didn't exactly see a reason why you should be either
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୨♡୧ honkai star rail masterlist
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etheries1015 · 6 months
Note
Hello! I love the way you write! Would I be able to request the reactions of some of the twst boys to MC telling them they snore (whether it's true or not)? I think Malleus, Riddle, and Azul would have fun reactions, but anyone you feel like writing would be great! Thank you!
Thank you for the compliment heuheu... much appreciated <3
When they snore
Featuring: Malleus, Riddle, Azul, Rook, Vil
General warnings: Gender neutral reader
Malleus
The moment you told him he snores, he was concerned. Was he troubling you with his sleeping habits? Were you unhappy sleeping with the fae because of this, to the point where it was noticeable? The moment the words left your mouth, he began to word vomit.
"Is that an issue? Is my snoring preventing you from getting a night of good rest? I...Suppose I could sleep elsewhere if it will grant you a full night of sleep.." Que him going down a rabbit hole of solutions, you couldn't get a single word in. Eventually, it came time for classes to begin, to which you hadn't the chance to explain your statement to the panicked fae.
When night fell and it was time for bed, his tail swayed sadly as he stood in the doorway. "I suppose I shall sleep out here, my love," He said, as lightning of vibrant green flashed outside your window.
As he turned his back and began to sulk away, you quickly ran up behind him with a bear hug.
"Malleus, would you stop and listen to me for a second?" You laughed, "When I said you snore, I was going to tell you it was cute. Like an animal snoring lightly. You seem so at peace curled up in bed with your light snoring..."
The lightning went away as fast at it had came, and you felt his tail wrap around your waist as he turned to face you, arms pulling you close.
"Ah...ahem. I apologize for my unbecoming behavior before, then. I...was rather saddened at the thought I caused my beloved to lose well-needed sleep."
He's never been called cute before, but he's also never slept in the same bed with another person. So I suppose there's a first for everything <3
Riddle
Snores like a cat. The first time you had slept in the same room, the first thing you noticed was his high-pitched yet soft snores that were short and far between.
The morning you woke up, the first thing you said was; "Did you know you snore?" Riddle blinks at you a couple times before hitting you with his annoyed face (you know the one.)
"Snoring is perfectly normal," He told you, "It's caused by the rattling and vibration of tissues-"
You got a lecture on the scientific reasoning behind snoring. When he finished defending the nature of his sleeping habits, you finally hit him with the "You snore like a little cat! It's cute!"
His face turns as red as his hair, as always when he becomes flustered.
"W-w-wha- a cat?! How dare you compare me to a cat! I..I am not a cat..."
"I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything.." You seemed pretty guilty about upsetting him, he muttered "I suppose I'll let it go..." and moved on.
All in all, as long as you aren't losing sleep because of him, he will forgive you for your previous teasing statements. However, from that day forward, you have noticed his ears take a rosy hue with shy glances your way before he heads to bed...
Azul
"Did you know you snore? Pretty loud, too. Is that like...a merman thing?"
His face turns red IMMEDIATELY. He was so embarrassed. The first time he allows someone to be near him in such a vulnerable state, and he blows it by being a snorer. A loud one, at that.
"Snoring is not common for merfolk! Being under the sea, most don't struggle with such a thing...but I would say being above water, the air that goes through my soft palate-"
Great. Another scientific review on snoring. Only Azul, on the other hand, cannot seem to keep eye contact with you.
"Please don't tell anyone. You must sign on it!"
You spent an hour comforting poor Azul, telling him it's nothing to be ashamed of, and giving him lots of hugs and cuddles. But he still continues to insist you sign a NDA to the information you had uncovered.
He was incredibly shy about having you sleep with him again, yet you managed to convince him. Azul is much more insecure than you may think about his image, however, you always seem to break his walls down.
Although, you did notice he began to wear nose strips at night, with books on sleeping habits and potions to help with snoring...old habits truly die hard.
Give him extra cuddles for the existential crisis you had instilled in your poor octo boyfriend <3
Rook
Oh boy. You had no choice but to tell him. He snores like your average forty-year-old dad. You genuinely lose sleep over it, even waking him up
"Rook, Rook. Honey. Please. I can't sleep. Your snoring is just too much, I'm sorry."
He actually finds it kind of amusing? For some reason? He asks you excitedly to tell him more about the things he does when he's sleeping.
He didn't really take you too seriously until he noticed the physical wear and tear. The bags under your eyes...
"Mon Cheri! Your eyes...have you not been sleeping well?"
"Rook. Your snoring. It's horrendous. Please."
He spends an hour doing EVERYTHING under the sun to help his snoring, for your sake! Moving around how his bed is set up, mouth exercises, the way he sleeps...He refuses to use strips, he doesn't like how they feel, and says it prevents his senses from being at their 100%.
He finds a way to help alleviate it, and you end up investing in some sleep time headphones. You make it work, because dealing with his sleeping habits is better than sleeping without him~
Vil
"Did you know you snore?"
He stares at you with his jaw open and his eyes wide. What...what do you mean he snores when he sleeps? Does he sleep with his mouth open? Does he look utterly ridiculous when he sleeps? All of these questions he bombards you with.
"Vil! Vil. I was kidding. I'm sorry. You sleep so quietly that I have to check if you're still alive sometimes. You're like a sleeping statue of perfection."
He was not amused. He almost had a heart attack and invested in the world's most expensive treatments.
Tackles you to the bed and ruffles up your hair, laughter ensuing at your silly little prank.
"Well, it's YOU who snores, potato. You're lucky I let you sleep here and not outside like a dog," He chuckles. He says this, yet you knew he loved you too much to go a single night without you by his side.
A link to my masterlist
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yoditopascal · 1 month
Text
After Hours
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“I'm fallin' in too deep. Without you, don't wanna sleep. 'Cause my heart belongs to you. I'll risk it all for you. I want you next to me.”
warnings: fluff, established relationships, suggested smut
Jason pushed the windows open as he came in the room with a yawn.
Taking off his Red Hood helmet he tossed it to the side as he shuffled outta his costume.
“C’mon, seriously,” he muttered as he stood in the doorway, pants at his ankles in nothing but his Wonder Woman boxers “it’s like 5am what are you still doing up?”
“Couldn’t sleep, too much to do.”
“Like what?” He asked resting a hand on his hip
“I got a shit ton of math work due soon plus I need to finish my essay annnnd I work tomorrow.” You shrugged taking a sip of your cold coffee
“You know you can’t survive purely on caffeine, right?” He sighs
“Like you’re any better.” You replied
“At least I eat.” He argued back
“Barely!”
“Come on. Take a break.” He said sitting next to you on the bed while resting a hand on your back.
“I can’t,” you said, lifting your head to face him. You had so much to do. So much to study and so little time for it all.
“Come on,” he said again, grabbing your hand and tugging you to him. “Just for the day. You’ll feel better after. I promise.”
It was Jason’s idea to take you out to the small park around the block from your shared apartment in the Hill, after a short nap and some breakfast at your favorite diner. It was a sunny day and it was well deserved after finishing a grueling week of college classes, trying to earn your bachelor’s degree.
His smart cookie Jason liked to call you.
As you walked, wandering around the park pointing out different animals, feeding birds and just talking to each other, Jason tries to place his hand in your back pocket but when he realizes you’re wearing joggers, his favorite ones he might add, the ones that hug the curves of your ass just right, he rests his hand right over your ass.
“Really?” You chuckle as you lean into his side savoring his warmth
“What? I can’t help myself, that thing is like a magnet.” He shrugged bringing his hand to rest on your hip as you walked.
You stayed at the park for what felt like hours just enjoying each other’s company till the sky started to turn orange and your bellies started to rumble with hunger.
“Let’s head back.” Jason said as he stood from his spot on the park bench you two had stopped to rest at, pulling you with him by the hand as he led you back to the apartment.
Back at the apartment, Jason had you wait in the living room while he cleaned up the room a bit. When you were finally allowed to enter the room you aww’ed at how sweet he was being.
Jason had a whole set up for you. He changed the sheets and comforter and had the tv set up to your favorite show. Candles were lit on the end tables and a few small snacks were set out too.
“What do you say babe wanna Netflix and chill for a bit?”
Chilling was definitely the word you would use for what y’all did. Both of you had stripped down and threw on your pajamas, yours being a pair of shorts and one of Jason’s shirts, and his being a old t-shirt and his favorite pair of green joggers, and jumped right into bed.
You ended up watching almost a whole season of your favorite show while Jason just laid at your side and read his book.
A few hours later and the sky was dark, stars were starting to shine brightly in the sky. Jason stepped out to go and grab some food from y’all’s favorite local diner again. When he got back the room was dark, the tv was off and you were nowhere in sight.
Panic gripped his chest for a split second before he realized the window to the fire escape was open, climbing up it he was met with the sight of you sitting on the rooftop peacefully watching the sky as you hummed to yourself.
“Whatchu doing out here?” Jason asked as he plopped down next to you on the rooftop. He had the burgers he had gone to pick up in one hard and your drinks in the other.
“Nothing. Just clearing my head.” You leaned forward to rest your cheek on your knees, while staring at him a small smile creeping up on your face.
“What’s with the look?”
“You have no idea how much I appreciate you Jay.” You smiled up at him
“Stop before I puke” he said turning away from you to hide the small pink tint to his cheeks. Compliments weren’t really his thing but you always liked to shower him with them
“I’m serious!”
“Yeah whatever eat your food.” he said handing you your burger and drink. The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes as you ate you leaning into him every so often as you hummed in satisfaction, him rolling his eyes at you but smiling behind his burger as you did so.
The two of you sat and enjoyed the quiet, simply watching the stars and just enjoying each other’s company. Jason kept glancing back at you now and again, whether it was to make sure you were still there or just to appreciate your face you weren’t sure but you accepted the attention nonetheless.
“I’m surprised you took the night off.” You said as you leaned back into his side.
“Roy’s got it covered.” He said stretching out and placing a blanket around you both
“How is Roy?” You asked
“Roy’s…Roy.” He shrugged
You snuggle a bit closer trying to steal his body heat which made him chuckle
“You heat vulture.”
“What? It’s chilly!” You shrug
You’re practically in his lap, legs draped over his, when you start to play with his hair, fingers running through his scalp massaging it as he leaning into your touch
“Whatcha doin there, princess?”
Your fingers move down to play with the hair at the back of his neck. “Just enjoying your company is all.”
“Mhm. Are you hoping to continue to enjoy my company?” He hums in response as he cocks his brow at you suggestively.
You chuckle and he gives you a look
“Well, I guess I can invite you in for a few minutes, Mr. Red Hood.”
He smirks as his fingers dancing across your neck and collarbone before coming to rest on your jaw “How thoughtful of you.”
He caught your mouth with his own the kiss starting off gentle but quickly evolving
Pulling away from the now bruising kiss Jason kissed and nipped along your jaw to neck mouthing at the spot he knew never failed to make you weak in the knees.
You let out a breathless moan as he worked at your neck leaving dark love marks in his wake before finding his way back up to your lips with a smile, a shiver runs down your spine.
He pulls you closer, running his hands across your body, lingering on your thighs and ass. The blanket falls from around you two pooling around your heated bodies.
Jason licked at your mouth asking for entrance which you were all too happy to oblige. He ran his tongue along yours, deepening the kiss once more as you tilted your head to give him better access to your mouth.
He lifted you up without breaking the kiss putting you in his lap quickly picking up in intensity as he kissed you again and again. Your legs encircled his hips as he groped and dragged you into him slowly but heatedly grinding himself to your core.
Just as his hands found your waistband and started wandering a little further south you pulled away from his lips with a wet pop.
“We’re on the roof Jay.”
“Right.” he said, sounding a little embarrassed that he had gotten so carried away out in the open like that. He buries his face in your neck and inhales, trying to calm himself down. You smell good he realizes but he pushes the thought back down.
You peck his lips on last time before pushing off of him. You stood and stretched before grabbing his hand and leading him back down the fire escape to your cozy little apartment.
Pushing him down onto the mattress Jason smirked up at you before looking at you in confusion.
“Wait where are you going?” he said watching you grab a towel.
“I have to shower,” You said dryly, taking off your clothes, turning to face him, you cocked an eyebrow at him.
“Care to join me?”
Jumping up from the bed Jason scooped you up into his arms carrying you into the bathroom with him
“I think I’ll take you up on that offer.”
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Text
A Study of Silence
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Summary: Your life of married bliss is failing. A moment of heated arguing finally reveals the reason Natasha is pulling away from you, so you offer her the choice: stay or leave?
Word Count: 862
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader
Warning: Angst
A/N: I wrote this at 1am when my flatmates set the fire alarm off, so forgive any mistakes lol. It's loosely based on 'Fluorescent Adolescent' by the Arctic Monkeys.
»»————- ★ ————-««
Silence. Then the occasional turning of a page. In your mind, there are three types of silences: a comfortable silence, a suspenseful silence, and an awkward silence.
This fell firmly into the third category, but you made no move to change it - wondering instead how and when such an activity – sitting silently in your wife's presence – had turned from comfortable to awkward.
It hadn't happened just in this session: that was doomed to awkwardness from its start - but a month ago? a year ago? It was hard to recall a single moment of comfortable bliss outside of the early days of your relationship.
Everything had seemed so bright: an Avenger falling for a simple mechanic, a match made only in your dreams… though sometimes you wondered if it should ever have gone beyond that. She'd promised to quit her job for you, retire herself to deskwork upon marriage. "I want to do it," she had promised, "my love for you overshadows any job I do, and if this means I'm not spending months away from you and you're not spending months worrying, then it's an easy decision."
You swore your life to her then, showed her your love and your devotion. That love never faded. But where did it go wrong?
"My love?" you said. The redhead didn't look up from her book; you tried to see what it was, but she maintained her senses enough to shield that from your sights. With a sigh, you continued into the silence, "I was thinking maybe we could cook together tonight?"
She looked up now, fingers sightlessly marking the page. "Again? Didn't we do that..." she trailed off, searching for a memory, a recent excuse.
You finish her sentence for her: "last month? Yeah. I thought we could maybe do some bonding this month too, but nevermind."
"Y/N, we can-"
"You're clearly not interested, Nat, I'm not going to force you, so go hang out with your old Avengers buddies again and I'll make dinner alone."
There was a bite to your words that you knew you'd later regret, but in the moment you couldn't bring yourself to care. Fighting had become the only sure fire way to end the stagnant silences, and these days, neither you nor Natasha were afraid to use the method.
"You always do this," Natasha seethed, "they're my friends. I used to spend my every moment with them, living together, working together, everything! And I gave that up for you! You want me to give up even seeing them too? Would that finally be enough?!"
The silence fell again. A fourth type: one of contemplating, one of heated feelings and unwitting confessions and, finally, understanding. You understood. In her anger, Natasha had revealed the secret to it all, where it had all gone wrong.
You softened your voice, speaking quietly as if your wife were an injured animal, easy to startle. "I didn't make you give that up. I don't want you to give up more and I don't want you to blame me for your choices."
She stayed silent, though her jaw tightened and her eyes focused on a point behind you. You didn't have to turn to remember which picture lies there.
"I love you, Natasha," you confessed again, knowing it could be a last confession. "I love you and I want only the best for you. And if you miss the superhero days, the risk, the team, everything... if leaving that and marrying me is the mistake that's making you miserable, then I'm giving you the chance to undo that mistake. I don't want to be the reason you live your life in nostalgia and regret."
You didn't wait for her to respond, what was the point? Her gaze was still fixed on the picture behind you: the team in its heyday, when they were still young and wild and disorganised. She clang to until she got sentimental, forgetting that you had been the one to take the photo, right before Natasha became the first of the group to settle down.
Her response would come soon enough, you knew, so you went to your room and waited. You hoped for the eventual knock on the door, the long awaited conversation, then either the forgiveness or the conclusion. You hoped all through the evening, even as you cooked by yourself, ate by yourself, and slept by yourself.
A night with the Avengers might have been what she needed to make her decision.
Natasha Romanoff came into your life with a burning passion and a humanity to her that few people could ever achieve. You expected it to last forever, but come morning you realised the truth: Natasha Romanoff was a spy born and raised, and no amount of humanity can ever erase that from her.
Her ring was on your bedside table in the morning, the house left in a state of suspended silence. Natasha herself was nowhere to be found, disappearing like a spy, with no words spoken on the matter.
She had made her choice, just as you had made yours.
You loved Natasha too much to keep her; she loved you too little to stay.
»»————- ★ ————-««
taglist: @canvascoloredin
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