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#i'm about to end this little thing soon i think
pomefioredove · 3 days
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now I'm actually invested in this idea. maybe I'll write a full length fic someday idk... for now I have short hcs
summary: crowley decides to "give away" yuu to the highest "donation" for financial reasons type of post: headcanons characters: all nrc students additional info: can be read as platonic or romantic, except malleus is pretty romantic, second person pov, yuu is gender neutral, maybe a little ooc I wrote this as soon as I got up
crowley has had his fair share of "what the fuck" moments from you but this was really taking the cake
he acts so... casual about it?
swaggers into ramshackle one morning and says times are tough and your personal expenses are straining the budget so he's decided to "put you in someone else's care"
"The screening process will be vigorous to make sure you end up in good hands!" like you're a cat or something "Your expenses will be covered and you'll have somewhere to go during break!"
okay great. pretty obvious you have no say in this, so you don't even argue. what's the worst that could happen?
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Ace, Deuce, Jack, and Epel find you the next day to say they're pooling their money to buy you
"To what?"
Epel shrugs. "Oh, well Crowley said we need to offer a donation to prove we're capable of supporting you..."
(you think that if not for the laws of this land you would have slaughtered that old fart)
Jack goes on a really long tirade about how shady and underhanded this is, making sure to reaffirm that he believes you should be free to make your own choices
"So you'll let me go once you get me?"
"Uhhh..."
Ace thinks once they buy you you'll have no choice but to do all of his homework for him
Deuce says that's not really how it works- and even if he tried, Riddle would kill him
(they've already gone over this twice before finding you)
Epel happily volunteers to take you home with him over breaks, probably the only positive in this mess
even if he thinks the whole thing is kind of funny
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
incapable of keeping his mouth shut, Ace accidentally spills the plan to Riddle, who is understandably aghast
you can't just give away a person under your care like a toy!
of all the irresponsible things...
of course, he'll have to put up his offer, too
purely for your sake! with a nicer room and a brand new copy of the dorm rules, maybe you'll stop getting yourself into trouble
he's got some family money (doctors, naturally) and considers this a worthwhile purchase, for his sanity and yours
of course, Trey and Cater overhear and may or may not be pooling their own cash for a chance, too
going behind Riddle's back on this is a risky venture, but hey, someone's gotta be on your side, here, right?
I mean, between a bunch of sixteen year old boys, the housewarden, and them, who would you choose?
actually don't answer that
...not that it's much of a secret, anyway. Cater's already got their gofundme equivalent link in bio
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Leona initially plans to have you become a live-in lackey like Ruggie
but then he really starts thinking- and, hey, the possibilities are endless, right?
for one, you'd make a really good pillow
he might have to kick Grim out for your full attention, but you could learn to live with that
and malleus would hate it
...that's reason enough for him
plus, he's got money to burn, so why not?
either way, he sets his bid at a reasonable (maybe too confident) price and sits back to watch the chaos unfold as everyone scrambles for a piece of the pie
news travels fast around school, after all
then Ruggie finds out that you could dethrone him as Leona's #2 and is understandably a little annoyed
that's his cushy post-grad job gig, thank you! he's worked hard for that!
besides, why should Leona get to hoard you? the guy can barely take care of himself!
so, Ruggie ends up outsourcing to a few dozen classmates for the necessary funds at a steep I-owe-you price
he's gonna be eating nothing but dandelions for a while...
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
now, Azul is annoyed
once the news goes school-wide, it's all anyone can talk about
talk about good marketing...
why didn't he think of such a brilliant scam? he could have negotiated with Crowley to have a café brand deal tie-in!
of course, he's already set his bid, with Jade and Floyd offering to pitch in as necessary
it's a risky investment, sure, but a worthwhile one
Azul tells everyone that with the prefect's "obvious" popularity, having them at the café a few nights a week would drive sales through the roof
though that's really just what he says to shirk suspicion
a likely excuse coming from him, though, really, it would just be nice having you around
and if not for his own affections, Floyd's incessant begging and Jade's subtly manipulative comments about "how nice" it would be having a new face around would be enough for him to cave eventually
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
"Kalim, no," is the first thing that Jamil says
"I strongly advise against this. It's another one of Crowley's silly scams and you could end up a target bec- are you even listening?"
hint: he is not
the second Kalim found out that he could get to take in his favorite magicless student like one of his treasures, he was all over it
(AKA infinite sleepovers)
and for what? a little optional donation to prove he's got the funds? he's got cash to spare!
he's already got your new room in Scarabia set up before he even puts his bid in
right next to his of course :)
and despite what Jamil insists, he himself might be working behind the curtain just a little to ensure he's the one who ends up with you
after all, why should Kalim get everything? this might be a valuable learning opportunity for him
You don't always get what you want
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
as much as Epel tries to keep the rest of his dorm from finding out, it's inevitable
he's actually a little surprised that the news didn't get to Vil sooner
with Rook around campus, surely he must have said something...
when Vil does find out, though, he just sighs
oh, of course. what next, will everyone meet each other in the arena and fight to the death over the prefect?
of all the silly, immature things...
oh? what's that? he's bidding anyway? of course he is, silly potato. he can't have some unwashed miscreant making you sleep on polyester bedding
(really, he's the only person on campus worthy of your time)
Rook has also been mysteriously absent from the dorm lately, though his initials on a poem and a strangely large sum of money end up in the donation pile
but really, that could be anyone... Rook would never dare betray Vil again, right?
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Ortho finds out directly from the other first years and sends Idia the details immediately
with a little note of encouragement, of course: "could be excellent for improving your social skills!"
Idia understandably freaks out
"WTF!!!! nooo way! this is a person, not a chatbot we're talking about here! I can barely keep virtual pets alive!!!!"
(liar)
(...but this is still different)
the conversation ends there, but semi-anonymous bid from someone named "gloomurai" gets cashapp'd directly to crowley
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
everyone in the room immediately turns to Malleus
"For the record, I think it's wrong to be bargaining over a human being," Silver says first. "But if anyone could handle it with grace, it's you."
Lilia laughs. "Oh, you're just saying that because you like the prefect so much!"
"Father, you're the one who likes the prefect so much,"
"Oh, right! carry on then. After all, I'm sure we could share,"
Sebek is the only one relatively against the idea, though Lilia luckily manages to get him to lower his voice after his third speech about how you aren't good enough for his liege
Malleus is rather quiet through the whole evening, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with any of the points made
he disappears for a short while, and when he comes back he seems a little more confident
though, of course, he goes to you first
seeing him at Ramshackle in the middle of the night is a familiar and welcoming sight after all of the chaos of your week
and he's in a great mood!
"Child of man! I've come with news," he says. "I have heard of your predicament and have come up with a solution!"
you immediately sulk. "Oh, no. You know I think this whole thing is terrible, right?"
"Yes, Silver mentioned you might not like the idea of being bought and sold like a trinket. But worry not, I do not plan on paying for you in money,"
you pause, at a loss for words, and then tentatively continue. "You're not...?"
"Of course not. What a primitive idea, I was baffled to hear it myself. My proposal will be more traditional: a modest sum of treasure, and a generous amount of livestock and the finest crop Briar Valley can offer,"
certainly he's not this naive, you think
"You really think Crowley is going to accept that over money? I'm pretty sure Kalim just bid away an entire country's worth,"
he laughs. "You speak as if this is some kind of business deal! I'm quite confident that my dowry will be best,"
huh. that was a strange way of putting it
but then again, you still didn't really understand how things work here, so you go along with it
and you allow yourself to relax. he seems confident in his offer, and he doesn't even see you as some kind of prize to win!
"Oh, well, alright. Thanks! I'm glad you're on it,"
he smiles. "Rest assured, child of man, you're in good hands. My dowry will far outshine the others, and the wedding will be even better,"
"I was honestly getting a little nervous for a momen- wait- wedding!?"
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bruisedleftknee · 2 days
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I need to talk about what it's like when you and Noah live together. You're both open to trying new stuff, right?? You have some friends over for a movie night, and you're watching a horror movie that is kind of erotic??? Oh, you know that is going to lead to *things* and I'm gonna tell you all about it.
Tags & Warnings: Fingering?, Oral Sex (Both Receiving), P in V, Slight power play, After care.
Word count: 2.6K
(I don't think it's anything crazy, but if it needs more tags and warnings, please let me know.)
✦✦✦
It's a typical Saturday night at your place, you and Noah have friends over, and you're watching some old horror movie together.
It's late. The coffee table is covered with empty pizza boxes and paper cups. Everyone's watching the movie, and the house is quiet.
You're sure you've seen this movie before, the woman is handcuffed to the bed and the man dies of a heart attack or something, but you're tired and a little too sleepy to remember any other details.
You're thinking about the ending of the movie, trying to remember how exactly it happens, so you tilt your head to Noah to ask him if he remembers it or not, but you see that he's looking at you. He has his hands up, his fingers locked together, and he looks like he's been staring at you in the same position for a few minutes now. He's resting his head on his shoulder, and you can see he's sleepy too.
You smile at him. "Wanna go to bed?" you ask him. "Yeah, I think I'm getting old for these late nights," he answers as he gets up from the couch. He reaches for your hand to help you get up, says good night to everyone, and you both start walking to your bedroom upstairs.
"Guys, you know where the pillows and blankets are." You tell your friends, and you're walking behind Noah, holding his hand. "Yeah, g-night" your friend Jolly says as he scrolls his phone.
***
You're upstairs. Noah's already in bed, looking at some cat videos on his phone, wearing only his black boxers, with the blanket only covering one of his legs.
You finish your skincare routine, change into your comfy pajamas, and crawl under the heavy blanket.
When you get in bed, Noah puts away his phone and opens his arms for you, He always does this because he loves falling asleep spooning you.
You get comfy in his arms and leave a soft kiss on his bicep. He kisses the back of your head and wraps his other hand around you.
"We've watched that movie before, haven't we?" You ask him. "Yeah, we have," he answers in his low, sleepy voice.
"I don't remember the ending,"
"She gets herself out of the handcuffs and finally faces her fears."
"Oh, you're right; I remember now." You say, "Don't you dare die if you ever handcuff me to the bed.".
He stays silent for a few seconds. "Can I handcuff you to the bed?" He asks in a playful and curious tone, moving his hand and placing it gently on your breast.
"Wait, were you thinking about this when we were watching the movie??" You ask, surprised.
"Hmmm, maybe." He answers, "So, can I?"
"Hmmm, maybe," you say, mocking him, but you're wondering if you want that or not.
"Can I do it now?" Noah asks; his voice doesn't sound sleepy anymore.
"What? Like right now?" You're even more surprised now.
"Why not? I promise not to die," he says, laughing at his own joke.
"You have handcuffs?" You ask curiously.
"No, but we can use other stuff." He kisses your neck and plays with your nipple that is now hard from thinking about the things the two of you can do if you say yes.
"Baby, it's okay if you don't want to; you know that, right?" He assures you between kisses. "Actually, I think I'd like to try." You answer with a little doubt in your tone, you're not sure if you'll like it or not.
"Are you sure?" Noah asks you again, "Yeah," you say, this time with less doubt in your voice.
Noah starts kissing you, and soon you lose count of the number of times he's pressed his lips on your skin.
Noah is lying on his left side; his left arm is under your head. You're lying on your back, your right leg is on his thighs, and your legs are wide open. He has his right hand in your panties, gently playing with your clit.
Between the kisses he leaves on your neck, you hold his face with one hand so you can kiss him.
You try to keep quiet; you know your friends are still up cause the TV is on, but you also know if you make too much noise, they can hear you.
It's quiet in your bedroom; the only noises you can hear are the sound of you and Noah's breaths and the noises your wet pussy makes when Noah slowly fingers you.
All this time, you've been thinking, When is he going to tie your hand? What is he gonna use to do it? Is he gonna tie both of your hands to the bed frame or just one? What is he gonna do after that?
"Do it," you say to Noah after moments of making out in silence.
"What?" he asks.
"Tie me up," you say between kisses. "Don't keep me waiting."
He smiles, kisses your forehead, and goes to the bathroom. A few minutes later, he's back with his Jujitsu belt in his hand.
"You're going to use that?" You ask, you never thought he might use that to tie your hands some day.
"We don't have to if you don't like it," he assures you. But you do like it, you didn't know if you would, but now every fiber in your body tingles to feel the things he's gonna do to you sooner.
"No, I do," you say as you start undressing and lay closer to the bed frame. Noah comes to the bed, holds your hands, and starts leaving kisses on each one of your fingers, then starts tying your hands with the belt.
Now your wrists are pressed together slightly above your head.
"Tell me if it's too tight, baby," he asks you.
"It's good." Your heart is starting to beat faster every second.
You're lying in the center of the bed, and your hands are tied to the bed frame above your head.
Noah sits in front of you on the bed, opens your legs, and caresses your inner thighs with his soft hands.
You don't know why your legs are shaking; you're not afraid, you're curious and excited.
He leans in and starts kissing a line from your glistening core to your lips, inch by inch, he leaves kisses on your skin.
He goes to your nipples and starts licking them. With every lick, you close your legs a little; it's involuntarily.
"Keep them open for me," he tells you, and you try to do exactly that.
He touches your core with four fingers, and you stop yourself before a moan comes out of you, but when he spreads your arousal on your folds and sticks two fingers inside you, your moan isn't something you can control anymore.
"Better keep it down," he tells you, but you're still moaning; you'd cover your mouth with your hands if they were free, but they're not.
When your moans get more frequent, he puts his big hand on your mouth; his hand covers almost all of your face.
When you're finally quiet, he moves his face towards your navel, kisses it a few times, and then goes where his fingers are—your hole.
How long can you really last if he's playing with every sensitive part of your body? Your hole is stuffed with his fingers, his tongue is on your clit and he's moved his hand to your breast and is playing with it like it's his toy. And this has been going on for minutes now, so how long will you last?
You try to pull your hands out of the knot to do something, to control the pace, to grab his head and tell him to stop cause he's making you crazy and you need a pause to breathe, but you realize that there's no escaping this, and it's so exciting.
You shut your eyes, and your mouth opens as he circles your clit fast. Your back arches, and you feel so close to orgasm. "M'gonna.." you tell him, and immediately he pulls out his fingers and lets go of you.
"Not yet, baby." He's not touching you anymore, you open your eyes to see him sitting between your open legs looking at you.
"Whyyy did youuu stop?" You whine and try to stop the vibration that you're feeling inside you by closing your legs and pressing them against each other, but he stops you from doing that.
You turn your face to your side and try to bury it in the space between your shoulder and neck. He holds your face with one hand, says, "Eyes on me, baby, we're just starting," and puts his thumb in your mouth.
He takes off his boxers and sits on top of you; his thighs are on both sides of your shoulders; he strokes his dick, and you can see a drop of precum hanging from its tip.
"Open," he tells you, and brings his cock closer to your mouth, and you listen. "You know that's not enough; open more for me." He waits, and when your mouth is wide open and you have your tongue out, he puts the tip on your tongue. You taste his precum and try to lick it, but he stops you by taking away his cock. "You want it, don't you?"
You bring your head close to him so you can reach his cock, but he pulls away. "Tell me what you want, Y/N."
"You. Please, I want you." You say looking up at his tall figure.
You open your mouth again, and he pushes his hard cock into your mouth. Its tip hits the back of your throat, and you gag a little. Your head is pinned against the mattress, and you can't control the movements; the harder he fucks your mouth, the more you drool. Your saliva is all over your chin, and with every harder thrust in your mouth, more tears run down your cheeks.
"You take me so well, baby. A little more.." He says in between his breaths in a low voice.
He holds the bed frame and fucks your face harder and faster. Your face is covered with your tears and saliva. You feel like you can't breathe right, and he's going faster and faster, then suddenly he stops. His dick pulses and twitches inside your mouth. His eyes are closed, and he's breathing heavily.
He slowly pulls out his cock and comes down to kiss your mouth, His tongue brushes on your lips, and he licks the saliva off you lips.
"You're wonderful, you know that?" He tells you as he wipes your tears with his fingers and smiles at you.
You smile back. "Do you want me to continue?" he asks. "Yes," you tell him.
His dick is covered in your saliva. You can taste his precum on your tongue.
He strokes his dick and sits where he was sitting before; this time he comes closer, close enough that your butt cheeks touche his thighs, he rests your legs on his shoulders. His touch makes you legs legs shake, he kisses them, "Relax baby," he tells you as he slides the tip of his cock between your folds. He doesn't give you all of it, you whine and moan, you want all of him.
"Dies this feel good?" He asks you with a smirk on his face.
"Noa.. h.. I need more," Your tears are running down your face again.
"I asked you a question." He goes a little more in.
"Yes, yes, it's so good."
"Is this all you can take?"
"No please.. Give me all of it, baby, please." You beg him; your voice is a little louder than it should be.
"Shhhhh.." he says as he presses himself into you.
You have him now, all of him. You feel your walls adjusting to him with every thrust. His hands are on your knees, keeping you closer to him.
He starts to circle your clit with his thumb. Your tears haven't stopped, so you have closed your eyes to stop them.
"Open your eyes, baby, look at me," Noah tells you. "Look at me; I want to see how you take my cock."
When you look at him, his head is tilted backwards, and he's hissing in pleasure, trying to keep quiet.
Looking at him, watching his cock and how he thrusts into you and how he's enjoying it brings you close to your orgasm; you feel it in your stomach, and if your friends weren't home, you would scream so loudly, but you don't say anything. If you tell Noah that you're close, he will stop, so you don't say anything, and when he pinches your clit your mouth opens wide and your eyes roll back. He's pounding his cock inside you and playing with your clit. You're seeing stars and trying your best to keep your body still, and seconds later, without saying a word, you come.
"I.. I came," you say quietly between his thrusts.
He looks at you surprised and confused, "No baby you didn't," and slams himself into you harder.
"Noah, p- please" Your pussy feels even wetter than before, your release is all over your cheeks and his thighs and you feel like you don't have the energy to go on another second.
"You're gonna cum for me." He presses his finger on your clit, grabs your neck and slightly presses his fingers on the sides and fucks you harder. "Come on baby, show me you can do it."
As he goes harder, you feel your second orgasm building, your legs are shaking and your back arches, "I'm gonn-" your toes curl, and when you let out a silent scream as you feel the release.
He stops and pulls out quickly. "You did great, baby. Can you give me a little more?" He kisses your belly.
"Mhmm" You nod cause you're too fucked out to talk.
Noah grabs you by the waist and helps you turn your back to him. Your hands are still tied to the bed frame, but you have a little room to change your position.
You get on your knees, rest your head on the mattress, and he puts a pillow under your head.
You haven't said a word since you came for the second time cause you're still swimming in pleasure, but Noah has been praising you for how good you were.
When he's inside you again, he has both hands on your back. You close your eyes and try to focus on the pleasure you feel when he moves inside you.
He's been going for a long time now, and before you know it, his rhythm gets messy, he reasts his head on your shoulders and puts both hands on your sides, and he fucks into you faster. He hisses in pleasure when he comes, empties himself inside you and stays there for while.
He kisses your shoulders and your back and slowly pulls out. His cum drips out of your hole, and you gasp at the sight you're seeing from between your legs.
Noah gently helps you sit on your knees. He opens your hands and kisses the red marks around your waists, then he kisses you and sits you on the bed.
He rushes to the bathroom and comes back with towels and a glass of water.
He hands you the water and kisses your head. "Was that fun?" He asks and starts to clean you with a warm damp towel.
"Yes," you sip your water, "more than I thought, actually. Was it fun for you?"
"Of course, baby. It was amazing. Thank you."
Noah sits on the bed beside you, kisses your head again, and you hug each other.
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leclerc-s · 3 days
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espresso with a side of depresso
series masterlist
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maejonesverstappen just wanted to put out a little song before coachella 🤎 espresso 4/11
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rhysjones i fear for my mental sanity every time you drop a new song.
estebanocon please no more songs with inuendos
↳ maejonesverstappen 🤭
↳ lancestroll we are so fucked.
user82 i too am also praying no more songs about max jones-verstappen's dick.
↳ user45 she has us all traumatized
isabellaperez what's the point in dropping music if i'm no longer around to terrorize jos?
↳ maejonesverstappen now whose choice was it to leave?
↳ isabellaperez THAT FACT IS IRRELEVANT!
alex_albon ma'am we are begging please stop singing about max's dick or your sex life.
user51 okay but she looks so hot? can max verstappen fight?
↳ maxjonesverstappen1 *max jones-verstappen does not condone hitting women but point me to the nearest track in your area and we'll settle this on the track like real men.
↳ user51 i'm a woman?
↳ maxjonesverstappen wasn't aware gender mattered on the track? but fine *we'll settle this on the track like real people.
danieljonesricciardo as long as it's not another nonsense or nonsense christmas we'll be fine guys. so fine.
↳ user30 this is the embodiment of the dog in a room on fire saying 'this is fine'
georgerussell63 no doubt she's getting ready to further traumatize us. twice just wasn't enough.
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lewis hamilton my blood pressure has suddenly skyrocketed. anyone want to tell me why?
alex albon why do you always have to assume it's our fault? lewis hamilton it's always you people
isabella perez mae's dropping a new song.
lewis hamilton that explains so much. please tell me there's no references to max's dick.
mae jones-verstappen i can't promise that.
george russell WHEN WILL THE TORTURE END??
daniel jones-ricciardo probably when they have children to embarrass.
charles leclerc if max keeps winning everything, that'll probably be soon.
rhys jones woah! gross! child here!!
lando norris that's the circle of life baby jones! well, maybe not soon.
logan sargeant i think she enjoys torturing us with mentions of max's dick in songs.
max jones-verstappen can we stop talking about my dick please?
zoya torres TELL YOUR WIFE TO STOP WRITING SONGS ABOUT IT!
mae jones-verstappen 🤭🤭
daphne jones-ricciardo oh she is so proud of herself.
rowan todd of course she is. it's like pierre making a tripod joke.
fernando alonso sebastian i am begging you, please come back. put these animals under control.
sebastian vettel aren't you the one extending his contract to become the oldest driver in f1 histroy?
lewis hamilton hey, i'm still here!!
sebastian vettel he's older!
isabella perez i'm still going to torture jos. he's not get away from me simply because i no longer work for red bull.
rhys jones THE TORTURE JOS VERSTAPPEN CLUB HAS OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCED A NEW MEETING!!
max jones-verstappen stop torturing my father!
dulce perez but you two make it so easy for them
daphne jones-ricciardo children. all of you.
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maejonesverstappen triple shot...espresso out now ☕️
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user63 how the fuck did max verstappen end up with her?
isabellaperez oh wow. ditch the husband and marry me please!
↳ maejonesverstappen we can run away, ditch the husband and the boyfriend!
↳ isabellaperez say less baby girl
↳ oscarpiastri no, please say more.
↳ maxjonesverstappen i agree say more.
user09 oh she's so hot. please marry me.
user56 good thing your daddy made you get a boating license when you were 15.
nataliaruiz woah, how did verstappen ever end up with you??
↳ maejonesverstappen his insane yapping rizz somehow woo'd me.
user79 you're so pretty. i love you.
rhysjones how did you release a summer bop but daph is releasing the world's most depressing album?
↳ maejonesverstappen it's called versatility baby brother. you play a war criminal, daphne is depressed, and i sing about things i shouldn't.
↳ isabellaperez like max's dick!
baileywinters you gorgeous, gorgeous girl.
↳ maejonesverstappen 👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏻
user61 it will always surprise me that daphne and mae are related. it's no surprise that mae's related to rhys but witch daphne's it's a shock.
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maejonesverstappen espresso btsoo ☕️
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maxjonesverstappen1 woah. marry me??
↳ maejonesverstappen maxie, we're already married.
↳ maxjonesverstappen i am one lucky man.
maxjonesverstappen1 that smile 🥰
maxjonesverstappen1 i love you
↳ user42 max jones-verstappen, certified simp for his wife.
↳ user28 he's never beating the trophy husband allegation. this is why he and daniel get along so well, they were made to be trophy husbands.
user56 good thing your daddy made you get a boating license when you were 15.
coreyfogelmanis how did that man end up with you??
↳ maxjonesverstappen1 stop bullying me!!
↳ coreyfogelmanis oh as her best friend it is my job to bully you
user10 i have never been more in love with women than i am now.
dulceperez that's one pretty girl. marry me?
↳ maejonesverstappen i would rather not be chased down by a rabid leclerc
↳ arthur_leclerc i am not rabid mae!
↳ louis_graham you chased me through the streets of monaco with a rolling pin because you thought i had a crush on dulce.
↳ arthur_leclerc that's not true!!
freya vettel me? you? beautiful blonde babies?
↳ maejonesverstappen i'm sure we could find a way
↳ maxjonesverstappen1 okay, mickschumacher come get your girlfriend before i block her.
↳ mickschumacher oh but this is so funny.
user06 SUMMER BOP RIGHT HERE!!
user17 oh mae jones-verstappen sure knows how to write a summer bop.
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sebastian vettel why did you have to speak of honeybees that way?
mae jones-verstappen seb, please.
mick schumacher you might actually make him cry.
freya vettel he's definitely going to cry.
sebastian vettel i don't understand why we had to speak of honeybees that way?
rhys jones WHAT ABOUT THE NINTENDO? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO RUIN THAT FOR US TOO??
alex albon she ruined christmas now she's ruined honeybees and nintendos
mae jones-verstappen okay, now you two are being dramatic. i didn't ruin anything.
daphne jones-ricciardo how to you look sophie in the face? because it took me months to look grace in the face after i released dress.
penelope trevino it's a talent!
lando norris okay mayores, calm down
rowan todd and this is why i'm glad i never wrote a horny song about a french man.
bailey winters or me about a british man
pierre gasly wow imagine what it would be like if my girlfriend loved me.
rhys jones maybe she'd love you more if you stayed at red bull considering she's a red bull fan.
pierre gasly daniel, i swear to god, keep that kid away from me or i'll strangle him.
daniel jones-ricciardo okay, rhys, maybe we shouldn't attack the driver.
rhys jones he drives an alpine. i'll be safe.
logan sargeant lmao!
lance stroll who pissed off the pipsqueak?
arthur leclerc my guess is pierre.
pierre gasly all i said was percy jackson would get beat up by harry potter and now he's all pissy.
rhys jones BECAUSE YOU'RE LIKE YOU CROISSANT! PERCY GREW UP IN NEW YORK!! HARRY GREW UP IN FUCKING ENGLAND!
isabella perez yeah, i agree with rhys. there's no way harry beats percy.
charles leclerc but harry has a wand?
dulce perez and 9 times out of 10 he only uses expelliarmus.
logan sargeant have none of you read the percy jackson books? percy controls water, he 100% beats harry.
lewis hamilton this is just another way for you people to do the whole uk vs usa argument.
isabella perez WHAT'S A STICK GOING TO DO AGAINST A GLOCK?
fernando alonso i beg, please god give me strength to deal with these idiots
esteban ocon why are we having this argument?
rhys jones because i'm right and pierre is wrong. he just won't admit it.
mick schumacher i fear our brains need to be studied for science.
carlos sainz i think katniss beats them both.
rhys jones STOP CARLOS OR I WILL NOT HOLD BACK!!
daphne jones-ricciardo he's very passionate about this carlos. please don't make him attack you.
carlos sainz i retract my statement
rhys jones I'M RIGHT AND EVERYONE WHO DISAGREED WITH ME IS WRONG SO SHUT UP!
natalia ruiz never a dull moment with you people. never.
sebastian vettel i seriously question my life whenever someone sends a text that starts an argument in this group chat.
isabella perez YO NICO ROSBERG'S GOING TO BE IN CHINA!!
george russell BROCEDES REUNION INCOMING!!
rhys jones more like nico yapping about lewis
charles leclerc you can sit i my garage for the race weekend?
rhys jones LET'S GO!!!! A WIN IS A WIN BITCHES!!
max jones-verstappen traitor
daniel jones-ricciardo traitor
rhys jones I AM A TIFOSI FIRST AND BROTHER-IN-LAW SECOND!!
fernando alonso i don't have the strength to deal with this.
isabella perez remember to stream espresso!!
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taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @applopie @sunflower-golden-vol6 @lorarri @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @mypage-myfandoms @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @six-call @justtprachisblog @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @cool-ultra-nerd @kami10471633 @1nt3rnetgf @fernandoswarcrimes @arieltwvdtohamflash @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @georgeparisole @dan3avocado @nikfigueiredo @bella-1 @namgification @jensonsonlybutton @weekendlusting @trouble-sistar @lesliiieeeee @leclercsluv @33-81 @theseus-jpg @sarah-thatstings-ann @minmira95 @casperlikej @formulaonebuff @hopenshaw @ijustgomessitupx @hwalllllllelujah @doodlehunz @prongsvault
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¡leclerc-s speaks! i'm not going to lie, i've been watching grey's anatomy for the first time and that's why i haven't been posting much. but today's the day guys!! i also don't know how or why this devolved into what it did towards the end.
¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!
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whateversawesome · 2 days
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Spy x Family Code: White Analysis
I finally saw the Spy x family movie Code: White!!
It was fantastic. I loved it 💖
Here's what I think (spoilers below the picture 😉):
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Twilight
It's super evident Twilight cares A LOT about his family. As soon as Handler tells him someone else will take over Operation Strix, he's worried and, during the movie, he goes around like a crazy man doing all sorts of crazy things to keep his family. Nevertheless, the biggest giveaway about this happens when:
Twilight puts Anya before his mission!! Yes, you read right: Agent Twilight receives a direct order from WISE telling him that recovering the microfilm had priority over rescuing Anya and Mr. Spy puts his daughter's safety first and goes to her rescue (which eventually led to getting the microfilm back, but still).
Yor
Yor is a total mom here. She protects her baby and plays with her too 😌 She acts like a mom too because she's always trying to keep the family together; she's the one who reminds that to Loid when he's all frantic working. Here, Yor displays one of her best quality: emotional intelligence. And of course, during the movie at the big fight scene she looks like a total badass.
Now about the big Twiyor moment...
Like I mentioned before here, there's a fake and a real Twiyor moment in the movie. The fake Twiyor moment happens when Yor gets drunk and asks Loid to tell her how he really feels about her (!!!)...before passing out 🫤 You've probably seen plenty of images about that:
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The real Twiyor moment happens later, thanks to the captain of the Twiyor ship 🫡 Anya Forger, who pushes her parents to ride the Ferris wheel alone so they can flirt. Here, Yor tells him (crying) that she saw him with his "girlfriend" and Loid clarifies it was just a random stranger (it was Nightfall) asking for directions. This is when the real Twiyor moment happens:
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Listen, we could argue that Twilight here was being a liar and trying to fix the situation between them "for the mission", but I choose to believe something different. In my opinion, Twilight was being sincere and he wanted not only to reassure Yor but to pour his heart out and reassure himself. Come on, the man repeated their wedding vows! He was getting carried away (it was too much for our shy Yor) and if it wasn't for Yor punching him out of the Ferris wheel, I think this would have ended in the Twiyor kiss we've all been waiting 😆 (maybe one day!).
Something worth mentioning is that when Twilight and Yor get off the Ferris wheel, Anya reads their minds, but we don't get to know what her parents are thinking 😏 she just smiles and that's how she knows everything is okay between her parents. Little sus, right? I am sure Anya knows what's really going on between those two (read about that here).
This happens again, when Twilight rescues Anya from the kidnappers. We all know Mr. Spy is bad at expressing his emotions, so when he's finally reunited with his daughter, he doesn't show much of anything. Anya hugs him, picks her head up and reads his mind. Just like the last time, we don't get to know what Anya reads inside her papa's mind, but she smiles. Funny how this only happens twice in the movie, in both occasions related to his wife and daughter 🤔
So now, the big question: Is this movie canon?
In this case, every person who sees the movie can form their own opinion about that. In my opinion, since there was no identity reveal nor anything that would change the plot in the manga, I think it's okay to consider it canon. So, until the author says it's not canon, I'm going to consider it part of it.
Overall, it was a fantastic movie, very funny, with plenty of Forger family moments and that something that makes Spy x family so special 💖
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heyidkyay · 14 hours
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And I'm petrified of being alone, now |
Part Twenty-Three
Matty Healy x reader
Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.
What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 
Authors Note: Another update this week?? I'm as shocked as anyone else, but hopefully this one will make up a little for the last! It's longer and a little less, um, idk, I can't say emotional?? because that would be a lie:/ Still, there are some developments! Also, it'll make sense a lot later but the 2nd image and the use of a Ride song are used in this one!
Hope you enjoy! Also thank you for all the love on this current series, it means a whole lot and keeps me writing xx
Warnings: similar to that of the last post! so pls look back there if you'd like to know!:)
> Last update: look back here if you'd like!
Masterlist
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“I said no.”
Stressed was a feeling beyond words at this point. The past couple of days all I’d had was press hounding at me, calling and texting, emailing at all hours of the fucking day. They wouldn’t let up, even after I’d stayed silent. Adi reckoned it was mostly down to Teddy’s involvement in the whole thing. I didn’t want to think much more about it, although I knew she wasn’t wrong.
“Give me a reason at least?"
I shot a scathing glare over my shoulder before turning back to the filing system I’d taken to reorganising. It was my first morning back at the studio since... yeah, well Finn had Teddy- another factor to my current load of stress- whilst Adi was off doing something or other. I hadn’t asked, fearful of putting more of a strain on her current friendship- relationship??- with Ross, so instead I’d just chosen to tidy and rearrange the entire setup we had going on here. Because that was perfectly normal. And not a fucking way to evade talking or thinking about the mess that was my life. Okay?
“I don’t need a fucking reason, I just don’t want to.” I retorted, hissing slightly when I suddenly cut my thumb on the edge of a document. I withdrew my hand quickly and raised it towards my mouth, letting my eyes slip close for a moment when I heard a footfall step closer.
“Let me see.” Jamie sighed, probably thinking I’d done something worse to my hand than just a papercut. To be fair, the cabinet was old. One of them filing types from the ninety’s that we’d gotten for a score down at some boot sale, so I wouldn't be surprised if one of us did eventually end up losing an arm.
I shook my head and pushed the cabinet drawer closed, “It’s fine, just a papercut.”
Jamie huffed an amused chuckle before settling down on the edge of the desk nearby. It was Adi’s, you could tell from the sheer amount of shit she had accumulating it.
“One thing after another with you.”
My head tilted towards him with a deadened expression, “Ha ha.”
The older man raised his hands up in a mocking surrender, showing he hadn’t meant any real harm. “Too soon?”
I kicked at the toe of the leather boots he wore in retort as I moved towards the kitchenette, aware that he was just trying to lighten my horrendous mood but not really in the right mind for it. 
“You want a brew?” I asked, not bothering to give him an honest reply to that question of his. Too soon? Yes, that was all too fucking true.
“Have a coffee if there’s one going.”
I dipped my head in a slight nod, filling the kettle and setting it to boil before snagging the coffee often reserved for guests on the show from a shelf nearby.
Jamie moved to better face me on Adi’s desk as I did so, wearing that same expression he’d turned up in, all concerned and weary. It bothered me a bit, seeing as though it was all I had garnered since the press had had their field day with my life, but I could also understand why. They all just seemed to feel for the idiot stupid enough to fall into another of Matty Healy’s traps.
“Stop.”
“Stop what?” He wondered around a light chortle at my demand, hands falling to rest between his thighs.
I gestured towards his face whilst I poured a splash of milk into my mug, “Looking at me like that, like I’m gonna break or something.”
With a sigh, he pressed his lips together. “You know it’s not like that.” I rolled my eyes in return but he just bounded on, “You know it’s not, I just care is all.”
I forced out a breathless chuckle, “That why you’re here trying to get me to hear him out then?”
To be fair to him, Jamie had come right out with it when he’d first popped by, having messaged me asking after my whereabouts earlier this morning. I’d told him, having spoken to him quite a bit over the last couple days, and then found him on the doorstep. 
Jamie had been good with everything. He’d let me vent, rally against one of his friends and clients, question his own motives- and hadn’t even complained one bit. But now he was here asking me to give Matty a chance, a lot like he’d done that first time around in that small cafe all those months ago.
“I know you’re angry, you have every right to be.”
“Of course I’m fucking angry!” I immediately shot back at him, the rattle of the teaspoon ringing out as I dropped it into a mug, “I wouldn’t care if it had just been me he’d gone and fucked over! But he brought Teddy into this shit, Jamie. My son! So tell me, how am I supposed to hear him out after he’s done something like that and then lied about it? For weeks, mind you.”
Jamie looked back at me, wearing that ‘this meant business’ mug of his. I slumped at the sight, pressing my knee against one of the lower cabinets to continue stirring the drinks. I didn’t care, I didn’t care, I didn’t care.
“There’s a lot you don’t know, Mouse.”
My eyes slipped closed at his words and I took a second to just breathe. Because I wasn’t angry, not really. I was hurt and humiliated, and just so fucking sad. Fed up with it all, if I was being honest. Enough so that I knew that Jamie was being truthful here- and not just because it was a fact that I hadn’t spoken to Matty since things had fallen apart, but also because I hadn’t had the heart to ask Teddy about things yet. Or if ever.
The kid was four. Four, and asking after a man every night before he fell asleep and then as soon as he opened his eyes the next morning.
He knew something was up, he was smart like that. But what was I meant to do- to say? When I was just as confused as he was.
I’d ended up leaving him with Finn today, having had no other choice in the situation because the nursery was closed for an inset day, or some shite like that, and it seemed I had no other friends than the few around me. 
Could quite literally count the lot of them on one hand. 
But still, Finn and I’s relationship had still been rather rocky after that whole incident with him and Matty, and hadn’t improved since. In fact, he’d been a little unbearable about everything, always one to toot his own horn whenever he was right about something. But it was always slyly and I couldn’t help but feel as though it was a constant dig, like even when he wasn’t commenting on it he was still thinking it whenever he looked at me.
Which felt so horrible to think, let alone say out loud. He was my best friend. So I’d kept my mouth shut and just dealt with it, like I did everything else in life.
“He’s messed up about it.” Jamie then spoke, his voice having startled me a tad, breaking me out of my musings. He was watching me again, only when he did it, it didn’t feel as condescending as everyone else's. Like he understood my position. And I guessed that he probably sort of did.
“I bet.” I scoffed quietly, an airy titter escaping through my nose, and then I turned to toss my teabag away.
“It’s true.” Jamie shrugged, then nodded in thanks when I pushed a coffee his way. “He’s been ‘round Ross’s ever since shit hit the fan, hasn’t left the flat. Driving the lot of us mad, but he’s torn up, Mouse.”
Tongue in cheek, I wrapped my hands around my cup and propped my hip up against the counter, staring into the still swirling liquid. “Serves him right, I guess.” I replied with a soft shrug of my own, though we both knew I didn’t quite mean it.
Jamie looked over towards one of the windows to the right, most of them were either way too long or too tiny for the space, an odd build, but this particular one gave way to the skyline lying over the remainder of the city. I often wondered what the lower levels might look out at, thinking it was probably the majority of the surrounding buildings, and couldn’t help but feel a little thankful that we’d managed to snag this unit.
When he glanced back over at me, I took a sip and let him speak.
“A lot went on, that much I know, and it’s your choice how you deal with it. But, I saw the two of you. I saw him change. Which is stupid to say, I know, but it doesn’t stop it from being true. He was different with you, he actually tried in other aspects of his life and not just with the band and the music. He looked genuinely happy.” He smiled softly at the eye roll I gave, but it didn’t appear to deter him. “Don’t get me wrong, I know you didn’t fucking cure him. Don’t work like that, does it? But you helped. You and Teddy both.”
I looked away then, back towards the window, unable to really help it, and instead allowed my eyes to trail over the clouds which powdered the dusty blue sky. 
“It was different. Things were different, and I know that there was love there. There couldn’t not have been. The way he looked at you…” Jamie shook his head ever so slightly as he breathed out, unaware of just how deeply his words had cut. But then he peered over at me and I found myself already looking back, air caught somewhere in the swell of my lungs. 
“Don’t.” I choked out, the grip on my mug having tightened tenfold. “Just,” I shook my head.
Jamie put his coffee down on the desk and moved to stand, hands raised to convey he wasn't a threat. “I’m not saying this to hurt you more, love. Just telling you how I saw it.”
I licked at my lower lip, casting my eyes downwards. Our silence stretched and all could be heard was the odd car horn and chirp from beyond the walls of the studio, until-
“Anyone here?”
I blinked back the tears which had started to well in my eyes and sniffed, head shooting up just in time to spot a familiar giant ducking their head under the beam of the doorway, limbs following right after.
George entered but then stopped short when he spotted his manager stood by me, and I laughed to myself at the way the pair of them seemed to eye one another, before stepping in, “Didn’t hear you ring the buzzer.”
Kind eyes darted over to find my soft smile then, welcoming him in, and so George finally moved in closer, laying the jacket he wore to rest over one of the armchairs.
“Yeah, someone was just leaving and let me in.” He answered my unasked question, shrugging as he added, “Dunno whether they recognised me or if they just let anyone up.”
“Probably the second,” Jamie piped up, seemingly having broken himself from his previous bout of surprise, “This lot ‘round here don’t give much of a shit about crap like that.”
I rolled my eyes, but was glad to have a reason to smile slightly. “Or they spotted the BFG making his way over and wanted to avoid pissing him off.”
Jamie cackled whilst George just shot me a narrow-eyed look, “Hilarious. That pot just boiled?” He asked me as he wandered over. I nodded in turn and moved to grab him a cup, only faltering when he lowered my hand with his own and shook his head. “I got it.”
I dipped my head slightly, blinking before taking a step back to let him work. He made a quick go of it, rummaging around the cupboards briefly to find what he needed and only asking for the spoon I still held for some odd reason when he was near done. 
Jamie appeared to have been watching him too, a calculating glaze to his eyes, and he chose that next moment to speak up, “How you been anyway, George? Not seen much of you lately.”
Something unspoken passed between them when George glanced over at him, but I couldn’t tell what.
“Good, busy.” Was what the taller decided on, throwing Jamie a quick smile when he crossed to toss his own teabag in the bin before settling on the counter to the left of me. “You?”
It almost sounded sarcastic, not how he said it but simply because he’d asked it at all, knowing everything that had recently occurred. It must have been a right nightmare for Jamie these last few days, what with him being the band’s main man.
Jamie just laughed though, goodnaturedly, though it was apparent that he was still trying to suss out what was going on, what with George’s sudden appearance. Seeing as I’d never once mentioned him to Jamie.
See, things with George had all started after that studio session Teddy had attended, followed by my wishing him a happy birthday just before Matty had gone and done what he did best. Wrecked it all.
Teddy had become all too smitten with the drummer since he’d first been introduced to the band and their many songs and music videos. He enjoyed the guitar he’d been gifted an awful lot, often playing with it and practising, but each time any sort of song played on the tele or the radio, or even in the car, it wasn’t hard to note the way Teddy instantly mimicked George’s swift movements, pretending to drum along to whatever beat heard. 
George had messaged me on Instagram later that same day, seeing as how apparently Teddy’s appearance at the studio had stuck with him, and asked after him a little. It seemed strange worded like that, but George reckoned that Teds had a real streak of a musicality about him, even as young as he was, and wanted to see if Teddy would be up for learning some more. 
Which had been a Godsend, honestly, what with how the next couple of days had gone down. I’d given him my number via dm just before the storm had started and then the afternoon that had followed the plethora of articles he’d called.
He’d asked how I was at first, almost consoling me in that easy way of his, so full of little words, which had been all too refreshing in truth.
I’d had texts and calls off of practically everyone I knew, even Ronan, the utter prick. And none had managed to soothe me quite like George’s had, seeing as the man had been there too. Not quite in my position, sure, but near enough. He’d even let a little of it slip when he’d popped on over that same day, bringing a bag of takeaway and a roll up drum mat as a gift for Teddy, who had been cooped up with me on the sofa for most of the afternoon. 
The two of them had bonded over it rather quickly, Teddy having been caught off guard by George’s sincerity almost as much as I had been. But then I'd found myself getting to know the drummer too and very much appreciating the unnecessary gesture he’d made for me, even with the pair of us not knowing one another as well as we could have.
I had no idea what was going on between him and Matty, I hadn’t had the balls to ask, but he’d mentioned he hadn’t heard much of anything from him since the night of his party, as well as the fact that his girlfriend, Charli, had been just as annoyed with everything that had gone down.
I knew he’d be stopping by at some point today, we’d made plans to get lunch once he’d heard I was back at the studio on my own, but not recording. I reckoned he was concerned and this was his way of showing it, but it was hard to tell with him most of the time seeing as he’d made it out as though I was doing him a favour here. An effort I came to find I much appreciated. 
“Work, you know how it is.” Jamie replied after a long pause. He was still standing in the same position he’d been in since George arrived, but seemed to move then, picking up what was left of his coffee and pouring what remained down the sink. “But I’d best be going, got a couple calls to make. You gonna be at the studio tomorrow?”
George hummed around his next sip, pulling away with only a dip of his chin. “Should be.”
Jamie smiled, nodding, “Good, I’ll let the rest of them know then.”
I caught George’s slight wince at that, though he didn’t protest his manager's comment. It made me wonder.
Jamie turned to me then, shucking on his jacket. I perked up, not having realised that he really was rushing to leave now. “Remember what I said, alright?”
I blinked, but then nodded. How could I forget? I wanted to ask, but instead said, “You don’t have to head out so quick.”
He sent me a reassuring grin as he flipped over the collar of his coat. “You won’t miss me much,” He then teased before roping me into a hug, “Weren’t lying when I said I had a couple calls though, so it’s best I get out of your hair whilst I still can.” 
I smiled softly at the sound of his lighthearted chuckle and nodded before following him over to the door, “Stay safe.”
Jamie rolled his eyes, all too used to my typical parting now, though amused by it all the same. “Can’t promise anything.” He retorted with a smirk, shuffling over the threshold whilst his eyes flickered back to where George still stood once more. “So, about before?”
I inhaled shakily, though Jamie didn’t seem to notice, fingering the pockets of his jacket in search of his mobile. “I’ll think about it.” I told him.
He flashed me a grin at that, pleased, then let his heel trail over to meet the top step of the metal grating. “Talk to you later then.”
I nodded and watched for a second as he descended the staircase, head bobbing down the first set before he turned and disappeared from view. Sliding back inside, I shut the door quietly behind me, taking a second to steel my nerves before facing the room again.
During that time, George had seemingly gone and made himself comfy on the settee, his mug settled on a coffee table coaster. I moved to join him after putting both mine and Jamie’s cups under the tap to rinse before just leaving them to soak.
George was fiddling with something when I sat down beside him but shuffled over a tad to allow me to get more comfortable, “So what was that about?” I questioned.
“With Jamie?” He asked and I nodded, even though I reckoned he already knew what I was on about. 
He shrugged slightly and I noted the way his finger trailed over a slip of folded paper, it was creased as though it had been played or fiddled with a dozen times too many. My brow seemed to furrow at the sight of it. 
“He tried phoning a few times but I’ve not been too keen on answering, learnt that I’ll just get dragged into the drama if I do.” George finally answered, and for some reason I felt a wad of guilt pool in my stomach upon hearing it, even though I hadn’t been the one to cause this mess.
Or maybe I was just kidding myself.
“Sorry.”
George huffed as he turned to peer over at me, elbows resting on the tops of his knees. “Nothing to be sorry for.” He told me and then gifted me a sweet smile, “None of this is on you. Just thought we were in the clear, you know?” He looked away at that and his smile dimmed into something smaller, almost sadder. “Figured I wouldn’t have to go dodging my mates calls anymore, or be roped into cleaning up everyone else’s messes.”
He reached a hand out to settle on my knee then, probably having noticed the way I was chewing on the insides of my cheek, or maybe the fact that my lip was now trembling. I’d never felt so shitty. So at fault for something I hadn’t really seen coming, nor could I prevent.
“Not your fault, remember?” He reiterated to me, squeezing my joint softly before pulling away. I sniffed before looking up at him with a tiny smile. 
“Promise I don’t usually cry this much. Just been a shitty week is all.” I told him, laughing pitifully as I toyed with the hem of the jumper I’d put on earlier that morning when I’d purposefully avoided the hoodie that had been left on my desk chair, as well as the cupboard full of clothes that didn’t belong to me.
I felt the settee dip slightly before I found him sitting right beside me, lifting an arm to wrap me up in a hug. His cheek came to rest on the side of my head and I felt my heart break that little bit more, because it reminded me that in a second, or two, I wouldn’t have that sense of protection he now offered, shielding me from the rest of the world.
“You’ve been put through the wringer.” George murmured and I had to laugh just a little bit, he laughed too, the sound of it reverberating through his chest to where my head rested. “Fucking cry if you want to, alright? No judgement here."
I spluttered a little on my next chuckle, smiling as I wiped at my eyes. George’s arm just tightened its hold by a fraction, as though he knew it would make things that little bit easier. We both sat there like that for a while, and I appreciated the fact that he was okay with a bit of quiet. That he didn’t run scared from it or try to start up an awkward conversation simply to fill it.
Silence was something I’d come to realise that George often favoured. Because sometimes that was all you really needed.
I don’t know how long we continued like that before he shuffled and pulled that same piece of paper from earlier back into view, holding the corner of it between his forefinger and thumb. I pulled away slightly, looking down at it and then back up at him with a small frown.
“What?”
George merely blinked, staring down at the paper with an odd look before he finally placed it in the hand I had resting on my thigh. My frown only deepened.
“What is it?” I asked him, finger trailing over an edge just as he had done when I’d first spotted it. When I went to unfold it from the opposing corner, he stopped me. 
Confused, I turned to raise a brow at him, only to find him already looking back at me. He bit into his lower lip and then flattened his mouth into a stern line, “I found that when I was last in the studio.”
My chest tightened for some reason, but I was still so baffled. “Okay?”
We were sitting up better now, George’s arm having slipped from my shoulders to come to rest in his lap, fingers trailing over his left hand’s rigid set of knuckles.
“I figured you should see it.” He added in his usual drawl, though his eyes flickered up from the paper to catch mine then and I realised it must've been important. He seemed wary enough to warrant it.
I went to unfold it once again, but then his hand really reached out to stop my own, “I don’t know if I should be here when you do.”
That alone made me even more curious, although there was an edge of caution that now warred at me. “Why?”
George gifted me a gentle smile, the hand that still laid over top of my own squeezing kindly. “I’ll go grab us some food, alright? If you want to open it then do, if not. I won’t mention it again.”
He moved to stand then but my hand shot out to grab at the sleeve of his arm, “George.” But I didn’t know what else to say, I knew I was fearful though.
His fingers moved to meet mine, resting there for a short moment, “It’s your choice. Just, I couldn’t keep it from you.”
I swallowed thickly as he pushed to his feet, the scuff off his heavy boots bouncing off the hardwood floors. Slowly he moved to grab his jacket, giving me time to say no, to deny his offer. But I couldn’t, I couldn’t do much of anything really.
The door shut behind him with a soft click a minute later and the quiet of the studio suddenly consumed me. When I glanced back down at the paper I held once more I saw the slight tremble of my hands. I forced myself to exhale, but even that was shaky.
I was careful as I unfolded it, listening to the rustle it made before scrawled lines that had bled through to the other side caught my attention. Pausing, I took a moment to just look at them and then thoughtlessly hurried to reveal the rest of it, taking in its full form. My throat tightened at the sight of familiar scribbles.
You had me from the start  Pulling all the stops out  On the down low, secretly  But I think you knew your psychology  Was working on me  Infatuated  And doing this all wrong  You've got  My number and my name  And you've got me going  Yeah, you've got me going  Can I see you every day?  Do you love me  Like I love you?  Ah, you've got me going  Yeah, you've got me going
(Song: Ride - Future Love)
It was as if something in me had shifted and then turned, sparking itself its very own flame on a bone too sharp and growing and growing until its singed edges burnt and blackened every part of me. 
I must've sat there staring down at it for ages. Crying silently and alone in an empty room, something I’d been avoiding doing since this had all started. Though I supposed it had been inevitable.
His words. His thoughts. Bared to me on a single page. Him none the wiser to any of it. Probably having not even realised it was gone, or missing. And George had read it. He’d seen it and still, after everything, had given them to me.
A tear dropped from my chin then, blotting the page and I could only watch on as the dark ink appeared to cling to it, seeping further and further into the paper. Smudging the ‘Do you love me’ enough so that my breath stuttered and I was suddenly moving all too quickly for my mind to catch up with my thoughtless actions.
Not even a second later my phone was in my hand. 
Messages now To: Jamie O (glasses!) When can he meet me? 
Matty had always had a thing for Sundays. 
There was just something about them. Not all that Godly shite that people preached about it being holy and the first day of the week, ‘cause to him Monday would always hold that title- and Monday’s fucking sucked dick. 
No, it was because there was just something peaceful that settled on Sundays, it took him back to simpler times, of days when he’d just been a kid and roast dinners were spent ‘round his nana’s house. Or when Newcastle would play on afternoons and his dad would finally be home to watch with him. 
There was just something about them, you know. He didn’t much believe in luck, typically only the bad sort. But if someone held a gun to his head and told him he had to claim a day which would forever work in his favour, it would just have to be Sunday.
Still, he was unsure on where he currently stood with that sentiment as of late. Seeing as how he was currently in the backseat of a cab, jittery hands clinging onto shaking knees whilst rows of houses, broken up by hues of green and blue, rolled on past him.
It hadn’t been a last minute thing, but it felt much like it. The anticipation was getting to him, he knew that much, sweat licking at the back of his neck whilst his shoulders worked their way up to the lobes of his ears.
Jamie had somehow managed it.
Called him up late last night just before Ross had headed off to bed to tell him that she would finally see him. Jamie’d asked if he’d be alright going alone or if they’d prefer a buffer there, but Matty had immediately declined. So he was doing it alone. Though he couldn’t help but wonder if that had been a misstep on his part, if it would have made things easier on her having someone there, or maybe just given him some semblance of relief as the car slowly drove its way over to her house. The very place he hadn’t stepped foot in since the night of George’s birthday party.
But he hadn’t earnt that reassurance. Felt wrong to bring somebody else along either way. So he was stuck, toying with his phone, hoping or praying that a text wouldn’t come through saying that she’d gone and changed her mind.
It had been just under a week since he’d last seen her. But it felt as though time had dragged out slowly, mocking him or maybe even torturing him for all of his many wrongdoings. 
He fretted over what she might say when she caught sight of him, he himself having only spotted the state he’d worked himself into when he’d been getting ready that morning.
There were heavy bags set beneath his eyes from where he hadn’t really slept and his cheeks were hollowed in that way that they used to revert to when he’d have a particularly hard weekend way back when. If the papers caught wind of him he already knew what the first articles would say, what they would so obviously claim. But he knew the truth, just hoped that she would know it too.
He was startled from his mind at the jerk of the car pulling up onto the nearest curb. His eyes widened in sudden alarm when he realised just what that meant and then caught the look of dismay that crossed the driver’s face when the bloke looked back to announce that they’d arrived. If the man didn’t already think he was on something, then now he definitely did.
Matty swallowed stupidly and then tried for a smile, struggling to undo his seatbelt with the kickstart of shaking that overtook his hands. The driver took pity on him though, turning away to fiddle with something up front that probably didn’t need fiddling with, and finally Matty’s thumb managed to catch the button.
Releasing himself from the confines of the car, he paused just before the door could slam close behind him, handing the man a couple notes in tip, if only to apologise for his edgy behaviour or buy himself a little more time if the driver had somehow managed to suss him out even with his hat, hood and scarf. “Cheers.” He said.
The man blinked at the onslaught of cash and then nodded repeatedly, “Yes, thank you.”
Matty exhaled shakily and then dipped his chin in another goodbye, stepping back onto the curb and watching the cab pull away before he found himself alone once more.
This was it, he supposed.
The street hadn’t changed much in a matter of days but his mind made it seem as though it had. As though suddenly he didn’t belong. The odd man out.
He shoved his hands into the confines of his pockets, pivoting on his heel to face what he’d come here to do. But nothing had prepared him for the way his stomach suddenly bottomed out at the sight of her front door.
The sound of a car horn a way away spooked him, causing him to jump, but did eventually force him forward off the curb and onto the cracked pavement. He stared down at all the dips and curves they had to offer him the entire way up the path until finally, he reached her front steps.
If anyone asked, Matty would tell them it was as though he’d been working on autopilot when he pried the silver knocker up from the wood and let it rap twice. Though that would be an utter lie. His head screamed at him the whole while and his fingers blurred before him when he’d raised them up to grasp at the chilled metal. 
He’d never felt so sick, just standing there, the seconds slowly trickling into minutes, or perhaps even hours. It honestly felt as the day was slowly growing colder the longer that he stood there, staring at a coat of familiar paint, before finally hinges creaked and the door opened, revealing a sight that would’ve surely cured sore eyes, if only it hadn’t gone and broken his heart first.
It wasn’t immediate, the effect the past couple days had had on her. It was more in the way she held herself, the sadness which clung to her every fibre, the way she wouldn’t quite look him in the eye.
She stared, caught in a standstill, and for a long moment did nothing before silently and slowly she withdrew enough to allow him through.
Matty didn’t dare utter a word, let alone breathe. Careful to avoid brushing against her or stepping on her toes as he slowly crossed over the threshold to get in, though the hands he’d hidden in his coat pockets curled into fists to keep himself steady.
The first thing he noted upon first entering was the significant state of the flat, it wasn’t messy or untidy by any means, but looked nothing at all like a house typically inhabited by a child should, or at least a monster as chaotic as he knew Teddy to be. It was almost as though Mouse had been expecting a letting agent to pass through with a couple dozen couples, what with how clean it was. He almost reckoned that if he were to crouch down right there he’d probably be able to make out the seam of his jeans in the reflection of the floors.
“You can just hang your-”
“I know.” Matty whispered, not intentionally meaning to cut her off but unable to help himself anyway. 
It hurt, feeling as though he was just a guest in a place he had practically considered home not too long ago. He coughed lightly and shrugged off his coat to do so anyway, hanging it up where he usually did, something which made him pause for a split second, wondering whether this could possibly be the last time he’d have the privilege of doing so.
“Right.” Mouse murmured somewhere behind him, snapping Matty out of his thoughts. She stepped on by him just after, eyes trained on the end of the hallway until they reached the living room, “Erm, I’m just starting on a brew. You can wait here if you want.”
He wanted to follow after her, to fall down onto his knees and fucking sob there at her feet, but he was scared he’d dirty her floors or more than likely end up looking like a total knob. He would. Fucking felt like one just from thinking it. So he did as instructed, moving towards the sofa, taking note of everything and anything the room had to offer him. 
Matty’s eyes flickered over to the kitchen doorway when he realised she’d stopped there, fiddling with her nails before she caught him looking and dropped her hands. “Just realised I didn’t ask if you wanted anything.”
God, it was so fucking strained.
He took a short breath in and attempted to smile, “Tea sounds good.” Was all that he said, and watched on as her brow wrinkled, head tilting with it.
“Uh, I still have that coffee you like. The one you brought over, if you’d prefer.” She told him and he recognised her confusion for what it was, or maybe it was just her weariness over letting him know that his stuff was still where he’d left it. Or, maybe, just fucking maybe he was reading way too much into everything.
“Tea’s good.” Matty murmured, feeling a little less tense now that he knew that she was sort of sitting in the same boat. “But thanks.”
Her chest rose and fell with her next breath and he watched her nod with difficulty at him, still not meeting his eye. “Right, just be a sec then.”
She disappeared past the door with that, whilst he simply stood and listened to the run of the tap and then the flick of the kettle, feeling stupid for having missed something he hadn’t even realised he’d taken note of before. 
But that was just typical, wasn’t it? To miss something so mundane now that it was no longer expected.
Once he heard the clink of mugs Matty allowed his gaze to roam, trailing over the bundle of neatly folded throws settled on the wicker basket by the sofa, ones he knew that if Teddy was here would still be scattered all over the floor before the tv. 
There were a couple of coasters laid out on the coffee table, though the fruit bowl had since been removed, something he knew Mouse did whenever there were only a few pieces left or none at all. There would probably be grapes or something of the sort in the fridge though.
She had a couple of receipts left out on the shelf below the mirror she’d hung up on the wall when she’d first moved in, and the picture frames beside them were still the same. Only one was missing, and he knew which. 
He noticed that the candles over by the lamp were new though, expensive if he remembered rightly because he was sure that he’d spotted them round someone else’s place recently. He wondered briefly over who could’ve gifted them to her, knowing that she much preferred her usual scents, only ever splurging on the larger Yankee Candle jars they had to offer in the local Debenhams.
He found himself smiling at the thought.
It was then that she shuffled back into the room though, stalling his observations. She carried two mugs in her hand and a small plate loaded with biscuits on her forearm. Immediately Matty moved to help her, taking the plate from her even with knowing that she had it handled.
“I could’ve managed.” She murmured, though not unkindly, and then thanked him quietly once she’d gone and placed the mugs down. 
Matty followed her lead, settling the biscuits near the edge of the coffee table, between the two coasters, before fumbling for a second over where to sit. Squeaks seemed to take to one end of the settee so Matty perched on the other, though closer to the middle crease than the arm.
“You got hobnobs?” Matty finally asked, breaking the silence again, eyes flicking over to the plate he’d just held before shooting back over to find her.
She blushed faintly at his comment, then shrugged. “You like them, don’t you?”
Matty scoffed lightly, a soft smile limning his lips, “Yeah, but you hate them. Once claimed that they were like digestives only after being shat out.”
She wrinkled her nose at that, though Matty was quite sure he could spot the mirth that flickered across her face. “Want them or not?”
Rolling his eyes in fond exasperation and knowing not to push it, he picked one up and settled in a little more comfortably into the sofa cushions.
The silence would’ve been almost unbearable if she hadn’t had the foresight to have turned the tv on low before he’d arrived. So whilst a documentary played on one of the many BBC channels, Matty struggled with himself to find the best thing to say. Though he needn’t have bothered, she was always one step ahead.
“So, I think I should start by saying that I um, I know I held a lot of expectations.” 
Almost simultaneously, Matty frowned.
She just wrung her hands together once before thinking better of it and laying them flat in her lap. Matty merely wished to reach out and take them in his own. “And I get that it must’ve been a struggle for you, to basically go from like one end of a scale and then jump right off the other side. But, I-”
“What are you on about?” Matty interrupted, unable to help himself in truth, so beyond baffled by the sudden speech she’d started. She stopped and blinked over at him, finally looking him in the eye. At last.
“What do you mean?” She retorted with a pinch between her brows, “Listen, I planned this all out, alright? So can I just get out what I want to say?”
Matty stared, then forced out a breath of air. “Squeaks,” She shuttered at the name, closing off slightly, enough so that Matty took quick note and wished he hadn’t said a thing, but yet, he still carried on. Desperate to save any blundered attempt he’d make. “Look, this weren’t on you. None of it was, okay?”
Her eyes trailed back over towards him at that, though her expression was almost unreadable. Matty struggled with that bit the most, he’d always been able to read her for the most part.
“So, this crap about expectations and me struggling with whatever idea you’ve made up in your mind is stupid.” Her eyes narrowed then and he watched her work her jaw, obviously none too happy about his retort. He withheld a heavy sigh, “I’m not- Look, I’m not trying to be difficult I’m just saying that- What I’m trying to say is, that every relationship has goals or expectations, that’s normal. But nothing you ever did forced me do what I did. That shit? It was all on me. It was me being insecure and scared, yeah? So, don’t go trying to excuse it. Because I’ve had people do that for me for far too fucking long now and hearing it come from you...” 
He sort of felt himself slump at that, a little bitter and resentful over the fact that she’d since come to think of it that way. As though his mistakes were all just down to her and her inability to do right by him. He realised though, belatedly, that if anyone else had done exactly that, or even attempted to, in any other scenario he just might have taken up the offer and ran with it. But this was her, this was Squeaks. 
She was quiet for a time, then she picked up her mug, eyes trained on the movement of it before, “What then?” 
“What?” Matty frowned once more, shuffling forward in his seat in an attempt to catch her eye again.
“Why did you do it then? Why’d you lie, why didn’t you tell me about Teddy?”
That knot he’d been feeling for weeks now. The one at the very end of his tongue, all tied and tangled in the back of his throat, suddenly shrivelled up and slackened, leaving a bitter aftertaste and a plethora of guilt behind.
Matty’s gaze wandered over to the window, to where Teddy’s guitar sat in its stand just before a heavy set of grey curtains. He withheld the urge to pick at his nails as he searched for the right words to give her, wanting so honestly to tell her the truth, to give her a play by play of what had happened in detail, as well as every thought that had gone through his mind. 
“It wasn’t what it looked like for a start.”
Mouse scoffed a little at that, and Matty couldn’t be mad at it. If he was sat on the other end of this he’d been doing more than just that, he’d be up in arms, tossing shit about and raving to all who would listen.
Still, his eyes trailed down to where his hands now laid in his lap and he pressed his thumb to his palm. “We were on the highstreet, on the way back here.” He started, voice quiet as his stare tracked the faint lines of his hand, “The guy you saw in the pictures came out of nowhere really. Me and Teds had just been at that ice cream shop a way down, I didn’t even spot him until he was there, in my face.”
Matty wet his lower lip, mouth suddenly going dry. Mouse just waited.
“Teddy was quick to hide behind me, you know? The loudmouth didn’t even really notice him until the last minute. But you have to know, all I wanted was to get him out of there. To avoid staying too long and attracting the wrong sort of attention. Okay? So I’d said I had to get going as soon as he'd spoken, told him I didn’t have time to stay and chat.” 
He took a quick breath with that, eyes still centred on the deepest groove of his palm. “But then he, then he brought up Luke. Said something about the funeral he didn't go to and wanting to celebrate his life.” Out of the corner of his eye he saw Squeaks’s hands still from their previous bout of fidgeting. “But I told him I was clean. He didn’t believe me at first, which,” Matty huffed out a self-deprecating laugh, “Well, I can’t blame him for that, what with my track record.”
He heard her inhale then and looked up, it seemed as though she was going to say something but thought better. So Matty bit down on the insides of his cheeks to keep from asking before he exhaled slowly, digging a nail into that groove.
“He got a bit aggy, started calling me a toff and whatnot, because I 'spose I was just a rich boy who bought him a couple grams of coke every now and then.” He clucked his tongue thinking about it, but eventually shrugged. “Then I don’t know, he must’ve looked down or something ‘cause that’s when he,” Matty paused and his gaze shot over to her, then away again, “That’s when he spotted Teddy.”
Mouse wrinkled her mouth, then tried to nod, obviously wanting him to continue. Though she kept her eyes trained on the rim of her mug.
“That’s when he said some shit and I reacted.”
“Said what?”
Matty startled a little at the sound of her question but was hasty in his attempt to answer. “Just, he reckoned that Teddy was mine and that I had to have knocked someone up. So now they were just using me for the money.”
Her eyes slipped closed and her fingers tightened their grip on her cup.
Swallowing thickly, Matty went to continue, “I shoved him and told him to do one- that’s what they caught in those photos. I didn't take anything he offered, I didn't even look back after. Just walked away, thinking of Teddy, trying to get him out of there. The bloke, he kept on shouting, saying some crap about this and that. But I carried on walking.”
Matty was proud of that fact, even with everything that had happened since. Not too long ago, a different version of him would have handled it all too severely. It was a step, a tiny one, sure, but it was progress.
“Then what?” Mouse voiced, prompting him along with just a look.
“Then we walked home.” Matty replied, feeling that familiar cloud of shame dawn over him. “We didn’t really speak, I- I was a bit of a mess, trying to figure out what to do next, what to tell Teddy, to say to make it right again. But Teds, he,” Matty hauled in his next breath, all too fucking close to bawling, that he could admit. “He called for me and I looked down at him. All I could say was sorry, Mouse.”
She nodded tightly, the knuckles she had wrapped around her tea cup had whitened.
“He,” Matty felt the corners of his mouth lift as he remembered the bittersweet memory of Teddy trying to soothe him, “He told me it was alright, that we were okay, but I just kept on saying sorry. He said that the bloke was just a bad man, and I assured him of that. Wanting him to know that we were okay, that the guy was long gone. But then he-”
Matty stopped altogether then, a picture of Teddy's little face coming to the forefront of his mind, and Squeaks immediately took note.
“Then what?”
Her eyes were so full of emotion, but which ones he wasn’t too sure. Still, the sight tightened every muscle in his chest as he forced himself to finish what he’d started. “He said we couldn’t tell you.”
Matty knew he couldn’t have imagined the sharp inhale that sounded from her then, as though she'd just received a blow to the chest. And he so desperately wanted to reach out, to wrap her up and just fucking hold her. But he couldn't. It wasn't his place.
He watched on as she licked at her top lip though, blinking back the wetness that shone in her eyes, “Why?” Her voice cracked on the question but she did not cry.
It was a simple answer. “He didn’t want to hurt you.”
Mouse stood then, placing the cup down with some force before she hastily made her way over to the front window. Matty stayed seated, unsure if he’d be welcome near her.
“It fucking broke me, Squeaks.” He admitted after a moment, his lips now tingled with the sheer amount of effort it took for him to not let his emotions get the better of him. “I didn’t know what to do.”
“You should have told me.” Was her reply, sharp and cutting, enough that it fucking wounded. Because Matty knew that she was right.
“I know.” He answered.
“You should have fucking told me, Matty!” She repeated, turning then to face him. He saw the tremble of her shoulders, the curve of her mouth and how it quaked. He stared, couldn't bring himself to look away.
“I know.”
He swallowed, throat almost aching as much as the hole that made up the majority of his chest. 
"Why didn't you tell me?"
“I don't know.” He murmured, mostly to himself.
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genolover · 2 days
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So I read @aughtpunk 's cotl forgiveness au in like 2 days and now I'm hyperfocusing on it. I just keep thinking of cute little things. Particularly between Shaun and kallamar. Aughtpunk probably shouldn't read this.
Like they have regular are-we-still-engaged chess matches. The first time kallamar wins, they regretfully tell the others the engagement is off. Most everyone is like, you were engaged?? How?? Since when?????? The next day they're engaged again. It great and not at all confusing. Pretty soon no one is sure if the engagement is even real or not. Don't ask kallamar, he's not 100% sure either. Like they play games to see who's responsible for the flowers or menu decisions but is it real? Half the group is sure it isn't until it's the night before the wedding and Holy shit this is actually happening wtf and Shaun is just so disappointed in them. Kallamar is too, right my love? Kallamar is like, yeah, I can't believe they doubted the seriousness of this situation. Internally he's screaming. Shaun also didn't think it was that serious but over time he got sick of people shit talking kallamar to his face so he was like, now I gotta marry him in the biggest most amazing wedding ever. I just gotta.
I also just like the idea that they would use games to settle most disagreements. They watch eachothers strategies and moods to figure out how serious they need to be. If it's a lighthearted thing then they joke the whole time and whoever wins, wins. Gg. If it's something more important to one than the other then they give a good game but let that person win since clearly this is a significant matter. If it's an important matter to both, they use the game as something of a distraction. I can't kill you for not understanding exactly where I'm coming from by magically reading my mind if I'm too busy trying to figure out if the move you just made is even legal. By the end of the match, whomever wins, it comes out as more of a compromise.
They do have this problem where if they don't have a clear goal for a game, it can escalate into terrible ends. Like Shaun makes a flirty double entendre about calamari, kallamar says something gross about cannibalism, suddenly its 3 am, they're in the kitchen with heket who is waaaay too happy about cooking some of her brother's flesh with the intention of giving it to his ex-fiancee to eat (shaun being grossed out by cannibalism made him lose), and questioning all of their life choices.
Oh and after wedding thought. Shaun asks narinder for a life flower (that what I've been calling them in my head). Narinder is grossed out but Shaun gives this whole speech about how they aren't gonna use it now, he just wants to show kallamar that he did notice that he wasnt sure how serious he was about the wedding but he is very serious about wanting to have this life together with him and growing their family together. Narinder does reluctantly give him a flower. Little while later kallamar asks for the same thing. His explanation is a little more based in logic. They've talked about children before and he's probably gonna be the one carrying them so it just makes sense for him to have the flower. Everyone is like aww they're gonna present these flowers to eachother and it's gonna be cute or something. Meanwhile kallamar is confirming that he and his husband aren't needed for anything else tonight and maybe the flower might work if brewed into a tea but eh it's better to not chance it and just. Fucking. Eats it. Right there. Infront of God (poor jake) and everybody. Did his husband see that? No, of course not. That would prevent any miscommunication drama. It's like, dude, did you guys plan on that or...? And kallamar is like, we've had some of the most important discussions about this already, I fail to see why we can't start trying now. And then he leaves to go spend his wedding with Shaun in private and now the whole family has no idea what to do with themselves. They did not need this information.
I also have thoughts for their kids. First set is twins. They are cute. They look like normal lambs just tinted blue. At first. They actually have tendrils they hide amongst their wool. They're also good at team hunting. If you see the both of them, it's safe. If you only see one, it's a distraction, turn around, you are being ambushed.
These are just fun little thoughts I had. Feel free to ignore me.
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wosoluver · 8 hours
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To undo a mistake
Part 17/17 - previous.
Lena x Bayern Player!reader
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You hated the way you had ended the conversation. You knew this time you were in the wrong. And being irrational about the situation.
Above all you knew your true feelings, and the fear of giving yourself away.
The last three days were a bliss. You were enjoying your own little world. You hadn't been hit yet by reality or facts.
You hadn't faced the outside bubble, where real consequences existed.
Where people could look at you and make their remarks. Where you had to remember the reason you were so scared of opening up to her once again.
Right now you were under the hot shower, trying to feel a little less frustrated. Trying to think of what to say and where to go from here.
Be honest to yourself, but let it go? Or be honest to yourself and accept the possibilities ahead?
You got out of the shower, and as soon as you were done putting on your clothes, you heard the door bell ring.
Knowing exactly who it was. She had a hard expression on your face. Trying her hardest to not let her feelings through.
"I'll help you take everything to the car."
"I don't need your help."
But she clearly did. Looking over to what she had left there, it seemed to multiply the more time they were left there.
So, ignoring her words you grabbed a few things to carry down.
The elevator down felt like you were about to arrive at doomsday. Like you were about to reach an end, that was abruptly put in front of you, when you finally felt close to paradise again.
Mustering up the courage you still had in you, to look up at her.
A single tear made it's way down her face.
That one hurt, like a thousand knives had pierced through you.
Like you, Lena felt like this could be the last time. Despite all her love, and all the changes you both had gone through, it still wasn't enough to fix what was broken.
Or was it?
Rain was pouring down as you made the way to Lea's car.
You didn't remember seeing any dark clouds earlier that day. Much like your relationship, the day started sunny, but ended up in a bad weather.
You put the stuff on the trunk and made the way up once again, to retrieve the last of her things.
You made a mess everywhere you walked by. Water dripping from your clothes, your hair fully wet.
And you got in the elevator together, for the last ride.
Or was it?
As you both started to make your way on the side walked you simply stopped dead in your tracks. That caught her attention, as she had let you walk in front of her.
"Stop." - you said in a whisper barely audible. If she wasn't facing you, and seeing your lips move she wouldn't even be able to notice.
"What?" - she said loudly, so she could be heard over the sound of rain hitting the ground and shaking up the trees.
"I'm not doing this again."
She looked at you questioning, but didn't dare to say a word.
"I'm not letting you go again, Lena." - this time setting what ever it was you were holding, down. - "I love you Schatz." - walking into her arms. Your own tears now mixing with the rain droplets.
"I love you, Liebling." - she said pulling you in for a kiss.
But this time it wasn't a painful kiss, like you used to share when one of you was leaving. Or a desperate kiss you give her every time you got to see her again, because you couldn't hold back after being apart, even if it was only for a couple days.
"Please let's go inside. We'll get everything from the car later."
"Lea is going to kill me for leaving her without a car."
But she followed you in nonetheless.
"We need to get out of these clothes before we catch a cold."
"Yes ma'am."
And once more just like the weather you were able to pass through the rain, and use your love as a sun, to warm each up and make a rainbow shine through at the end of it all.
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I can't believe we're closing this story. My first multi part fic ���� I was really excited in the beginning, in the middle I thought I had lost it, but I really enjoyed these last couple of chapters. Thank you for the anon who requested this and guided me, ily forever. And thank you to everyone who gave me support! 🩷
what is our next multi part story? 🫣
let me know!
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Wish: the power of the Stars - Part 1 - The backstory
(Or otherwise known as some ideas in chronological order that I thought of for a Wish rewrite. I don't intend to write it, I'll just play it and give crumbs of inspiration to anyone who wants to eat it).
This post will be I doubt it in two parts: the first for the backstory and the second for what would be the main story of the film, this way it is shorter and easier to explain.
However, I'm still writing the second part, so things I said here about the characters will remain unanswered as they will be in part two. This first part was just to give context.
Note: there are still errors and nonsense. I explained what I could explain, but it's an unfinished idea, it's all messed up, but I think it deserves to come into the world. Feel free to try to explain the holes in this story, in fact, I invite you to do so!! Have fun!
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✨| In this version, the Village of Rosas would be destroyed for some reason. I imagine Mag studying about wish magic, trying to use his own wish to do so, but then failing miserably which would cause the explosion that would destroy a large part of Rosas. Amaya would be helping him with his potions and that's why she would also be to blame for the explosion, I even think she wanted the experiment to be done with her wish, but her beloved husband didn't let her.
✨| They would have children, who unfortunately would die in the explosion, as did Asha's family and Earendel's father.
(who is Earendel??? Starboy, but we'll talk about that in a moment)
✨| Earendel's father was an astrologer who, because he was very close to the stars, managed to communicate with one of them that day and The star told him that he needed to stop Mag. That's what he was going to try to do and that's why he distracted Mag and he failed the spell, causing the explosion.
✨| Magnus and Amaya ended up finding Asha and she was adopted by them. She had just lost her parents. They just lost their children. Makes sense right? They had an instant pain connection! As for Earendel and her mother, they were forced to flee. Mag and Amaya took charge of rebuilding the small village and, to escape blame, they placed all responsibility for the accident on the Astrologer's family, taking advantage of the fact that no one knew they performed magic, but everyone knew that the "Astrologer was a madman who talked to the sky".
✨| Under the command of Amaya and Mag, the village was rebuilt, becoming a city and later a Prosperous Kingdom, with Mag and Amaya being crowned. They were so loved by the people that they received nicknames from "King Magnifico and Queen Adorable" .
(reads "Adorable" with a Spanish accent Lmao!
@annymation , Thanks for the inspiration!!)
✨| Asha, being their daughter, became a princess, but has not yet received an affectionate name for reasons of formality. Some just called her "The Little Princess"
✨| Magnifico I was afraid that another accident might happen, so he banned magic and looked for ways to remove people's deepest desires and hide them forever. In this search, he found his staff — the staff capable of doing just what he wanted, understanding the powers of the people within.
(I forgot to mention that he already had the spellbook. That's his magic study artifact.)
✨| And so the spell ritual was born: When each citizen of Rosas turned 18 (the age at which their inner desires were supposedly already mature within their soul) they must deliver them Wish for the king who would "realize" them.
✨| The truth is that the King never granted a wish out of fear. He would take a look at the person's wish as soon as he collected it and attached it to the staff. Just. So, he told Amaya what people wanted and she used to do spells with potions to hypnotize people and make them feel like their wish had been granted and feel good about it. Obviously she used this hypnosis to give people "talents" , assigning each person who gained this talent a role that was interesting and useful to the king and queen, not because it was what people really wanted. The potion flew to its recipient at night in a bubble and burst in the person's face while they were sleeping. That's why everyone thought wishes were balls.
✨| The desire was trapped in the staff. It was a ceremonial staff. Mag was afraid of desires and their power. He couldn't lose anyone else, so he just performed the ceremony and kept it safe until the next ceremony.
✨| At that time, Earendel and his mother were hiding in the forest, protected by the stars that guided them to safe places where they could build a house, grow food and live. That house becomes the first from a village of "marginals" (people who hired the king and queen and were persecuted for that). In this village there is the wishing tree, as in the original concepts, just saying your wish out loud can attract Mag and Amaya.
(The explosion happened when Asha and Earendel were 4 years old. 14 years have passed and now we move on to the main story)
BUT THAT ONLY IN THE NEXT POST!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS FAR
I appreciate any polite comments and any story ideas!
I sincerely hope that everything was clear and understandable in grammatical terms! English is not my native language Lmao -w-
Kisses of light and stars!
Good bye!
~Emy
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kamig4mes · 12 hours
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heyy, could you please write headcanons for how shigaraki would react/feel with a gn s/o who gives him small things that remind them of him? like, they see a red rock and give it to him bc its the color of his eyes, that kind of stuff
hey hey honey, of course! It's the first request from mha that I make here, although I must admit that I didn't expect it to be from shigaraki! ksdjdjsj 🤭 anywaay, I came up w/ a couple of things for this boy, I hope you enjoy it
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#pov: Shigaraki would react/feel with a gn s/o who gives him small things that remind them of him.
★ warnings: realistic hc, fluff, established relationship, affection, couple love, league of villains
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—shigaraki!
Realistically, you don't even know how you managed to get this guy to end up being your boyfriend. I mean, your mental dictionary is so broad and far-fetched but the words "love" "consideration" "passion" seem not to be included in it but here they are both! Celebrating even the smallest things you do for him.
Sometimes the gifts with the most emotional meaning are found when you least expect it.
They were walking hand in hand through some deep neighborhood of the city with a path to the forest when something suddenly made you brake sharply and scream.
"Oh my- STOP!!"
"WHAT?!"
Shigaraki flinched when he heard you, alerting all his senses. You got rid of his grip to step back on the way to take something in your hands.
When you came back to his side he looked at you surprised, almost angry.
"Here, take it honey" your arms outstretched towards him with that smile adorning your face, he was looking at you like you were crazy "it's for you"
"If it's a fcking spider I swear to yo-"
"Who do you take me for? C'mon, just hold out your hands" he reluctantly does as you ask, rolling his eyes when you smiled in victory.
At first Shigaraki stiffened when he felt the light weight on his bare palms, moments later he relaxes when he sees that it was a small stone. But not a current.
"A red stone?"
"Yea', a little weird, isn't it? But.. It reminds me of the color of your eyes.." you confessed, feeling your cheeks (and his) burn red hot.
Shigaraki froze instead. The poor man didn't expect to hear you say that, and he never expects it! He's not at all familiar with this type of treatment and sensations that you generate for him, and despite having been dating for a couple of months, this type of affection is still unexpected for him.
Deep down, his heart warmed up like a torch, sending his brain the signal to shout out all the tenderness that you generated in him with that simple gesture. But he couldn't, he felt blocked and too shy to answer correctly.
Since your boyfriend was silent for what seemed like a whole minute, you rushed to bring his attention back.
"We must get back soon before dark, don't you think? We don't want to get lost" you laughed, awkward kissing his cheek quickly. You didn't need him to respond to your acts of love, you understood his heart perfectly. But, sometimes, you wished he would express his emotions more with you.
"And I'm so sorry for yelling earlier"
"Uh-mh, it's okay.." Shigaraki sighed, before linking his hands again and kissing the top of your head "let's go back home"
You learned to identify your eccentric boyfriend's tastes and understand his peculiar manias, but you suspected that you still had a lot to discover about his twisted inner world.
It was just another day of the year when, while cleaning inside the drawers of Shigaraki's bedside table, you came across a somewhat small and neglected notebook with his name engraved on the lid.
You decided to take a look at it, surprising yourself with the amount of sketches that were embodied inside. And you couldn't help but melt with tenderness when you saw that a large part of the drawings that filled that notebook were you portrayed. You rushed to leave it where you found it and get on with the cleaning. It seemed strange to you that that book was out of place but thanks to that cluelessness, you discovered that Shigaraki liked to draw.
From that moment on, every instrument/drawing material you saw reminded you of him. And without realizing it, you ended up buying an impeccable set of graphite pencils for him.
When Shigaraki returned home in the afternoon, a box with a note greeted him in the living room. He looked everywhere in your search, in vain. The white-hair then approached the table to inspect the gift.
"This reminds me of you, and I think it may serve you. All yours"
As he guessed, the calligraphy was yours. Upon unveiling its contents, the thousands of drawings inside his notebook whipped his mind, clearly remembering every moment he made them, especially those where you were: sitting in the living room, in bed asleep, with your back on the balcony, etc. Just thinking about it, his corners rose in a smile that, if you were looking at him, you would be disarmed of love.
"God.. So adorable..."
He may never ask you how you found out about his hobby, but that didn't interest him. Because the best piece of art he can have is you. It will always be you.
Luckily, you have in mind his love for sweet foods. It became essential for you to buy breakfast cereal, specifically the sweetest flavor that existed on the market because it seemed to be the only one that met the necessary sugar levels for him. It's the first thing you look for when you come back from shopping.
"Tomura, honey, I'm home!" you screamed once you entered his warm abode. Soon you heard how a few footsteps crawled down the stairs to receive you next to a kiss.
"You're back soon" Shigaraki took the bags from you and carried them to the kitchen, poring over their contents. When he didn't see it anywhere, he questioned you, "Did you buy it?"
"Of course, it was already running out"
Shigaraki examined your facial features to make sure you weren't lying.
"The one with the double honey-? "
"The one with the double honey and sprinkles, baby, here it is" and you waved the long-awaited colorful box.
Shigaraki blinked with a hidden surprise when you finished his sentence. He loved that you remembered the details about him, he loved feeling special and listened to. Especially if it was you.
The white-hair nodded before turning around to leave the kitchen and go back to his business, hiding from you that goofy smile that was starting to outline on his face.
Whenever you pass by a video game store, the impulse to buy a game from their range of tastes ends up taking over you in some way or another.
"What are you getting me now, puppy?" he mumbled a barely audible giggle as he took the rectangular gift and tore the wrapper "Is this another one of your jok- Oh.."
His eyes widened as he observed the package in his hands. That limited edition Mario Kart game that came out a couple of weeks ago had him so surprised.
"Damn, y/n.."
With his role as a villain, he had moved away from his gamer side quite a lot. But he made sure that no one touched his glorious shelf full of his best and favorite video games. And you were there to stock that dusty shelf, to remind him that that side of him isn't quite dead.
"Do you like it? Although it's not such an important thing"
"Isn't it such an important thing?!" Shigaraki raised his voice offended.
You shrugged your shoulder, feigning indifference even though his beautiful surprised little eyes had you internally screaming "I thought it was missing from your collection"
Shigaraki looked again the video game, his heart turning completely upside down, not believing that you could give him something so difficult to get in the first weeks of release, but you would do anything for him.
He subtracted the space between you, catching you by surprise when he pulled you by hugging you tightly.
"Thanks u, babe.."
As long as it comes from you no matter what you gave him, even if he doesn't show it to you verbally, he appreciates all your gestures.
You smile softly, stroking her hair "don't thank me, honey"
That's the way he was, shy, inexperienced, spontaneous and shy just like a little boy. But little by little that child was growing up, opening up to the affection that you offer him and experiencing the rules of love with you by his side because thanks to you the words "love" "consideration" "passion" were added to his mental dictionary with a clear and real definition, thus finding ways to show you all that love that he also has to give you.
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©2024 / ENJOY ♡ — I was as realistic as possible, I like hc's to be like that. If you liked it, don't forget to repost it so that it reaches more little people. Thank y, I love them!
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finnbbl · 2 days
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Hyunjin × M! Reader - Dancer AU I SMAU | Chapter 13
Ch. 13 - Entitled I Previous Chapter | Next Chapter I
I Story Masterlist I
Written: Yes
Smau: Yes
Warnings: Swearing, mention of death
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A smile slowly made its way to your face as you finished your conversation with Hyunjin. "Y/N!" Your head darted up as you heard your name being called rather harshly. "Get up off your phone, it's like you're addicted to that thing." Your dad scolded. Rolling your eyes, you placed the device into the chair you were sitting in as you made your way over in front of the camera once again. "You know we could've been done a while ago if you had just cooperated properly."
"Such a pain.." Was a thought that constantly ran through your mind any time you had to have any interaction with your father. Things hadn't always been like this between the two of you. Having used to have the most healthy relationship. But ever since your mother died and he inherited most of her belongings, things took a turn. You thought about how you got to this point as you subconsciously posed and listened to the photographer.
The flashes of lights and the sounds of camera shutters became somewhat comforting to the memories that ran through your head. Your father had inherited enough money to get his clothing brand going, hence his now stuck up personality. After his business took off when you were 16, he barely had any time for you. Always gone and left you to fend for yourself. The man had no idea that you had started your career as a backup dancer. Not until he came home after a month long trip and you were nowhere to be found. The rage that filled his voice that night he called you was unforgettable.
An hour or two more went by before you guys were finally finished. "That's a wrap, thank you so much for your time today Y/N!" The nice gentleman praised and shook your hand out of gratitude. Something your dad would never do, and it definitely didn't seem as if he liked it. A smile grew up on your lips as he did so. It was always nice to have a normal interaction with someone. Of course that wouldn’t last for long. "Ah he's already got a big enough ego, no need for all that." He laughed it off as a joke. All you could do was muster up an awkward smile as the photographer awkwardly changed the subject. "Yeah I'm the one with the ego.." You thought as you rolled your eyes as he turned his head. The two older men conversing about the shoot, when photos would be out, etc.
Upon their conversation, you had remembered to go grab your things from the chair. Walking rather quickly over there, you threw your bag over your shoulder and grabbed your phone. Checking your phone for any possible new messages from Hyunjin. It wasn’t too long before a quiet ding came from your phone, signaling you had gotten a message. It read, “Still need me to pick you up?” The remembrance of the soon to be release from this hell hole with your father lightened you up a bit. As you began to text back, their conversation had come to a close.
“Who are you texting?” Your dad’s rather nosy behavior caught you slightly off guard. Even with how shitty he could be, he was never invasive. The man couldn’t care less what goes on in your life. You looked up at him slowly and rather confused, “Uhm I was just texting one of my friends, he invited me over to a sleep over tonight.” Not thinking much of it, you assumed the conversation would end at that. At least that’s what usually would happen.
“I don’t think so, I didn’t say you could go out tonight.” You finished up the message and sent it to Hyunjin before looking up at him again. A stern look on his face as his arms rested crossed with each other. “I’ve never had to ask before, why do you care so much now?”
“Because ever since that little tour stunt you pulled, leaving the house for months, you’ve clearly had too much freedom.” Your eyebrows furrowed, “I’m an adult dad you can’t control where I go and who I’m with.” The words fell out of your mouth so easily. Perhaps that was a mistake, you realized this as you saw how angry your dad was now getting. The way his lips pursed as he stared daggers into your eyes, it was enough to send chills up your spine. “That’s my job, I gave you a heads up when it happened I don’t know why you’re so angry. Regardless, I’m going out tonight so don’t expect me back until morning.”
“No sir you are not, I don’t know what made you think you can be this entitled towards me but it’s unacceptable.” Your grip tightened around your phone. The two of you argued back and forth for several minutes before your phone lit up with another message. You already knew it was Hyunjin without having to read it, so you finally decided to shut this conversation down. “Again, I’m leaving and you’re not stopping me.” Stating firmly as you made your way to the other side of the building, where Hyunjin would most likely be parked. Harsh calls for your name were heard as you walked away, refusing to turn back and continue this argument. Arguing with him was like arguing with a brick wall. Pointless.
You let out a heavy breath as you rounded the corner, eyes glancing around for a parked vehicle. However, all you saw was a parked motorcycle, the driver still on it. Their hands tapping away aimlessly at the handles You tilted your head in slight confusion. He wouldn’t drive a motorcycle, would he? Your question was answered as the driver suddenly glanced up and around, spotting you and waving. This confirmed it as you smiled slyly and didn’t waste any time going over there. Upon arriving, he lifted up his visor. “I didn’t know you drove a motorcycle.” Lips curving into a smile as you examined the bike, it was rather nice. Definitely expensive. “You didn’t ask.” Hyunjin retorted back as he handed you a fancy helmet. You slowly reached out for it, sort of hesitant. “I’ve never really ridden on one before..” When Hyunjin noticed you weren’t taking the helmet, he lightly pushed it into your hands as he spoke, “It’s easy. Besides, you’re not the one driving it.” He laughed as you put on the helmet, hesitantly climbing on.
Hyunjin noticed your arms weren’t moving. You found it hard to bring yourself to wrap your arms around him, despite knowing that’s the only way to safely ride as a passenger. “Do you want to fall off?” He turned his head to the side, unable to see that he was giving you a massive side eye. “I just don’t wanna overstep boundaries-“
“Oh whatever, just hold on.” Finally, your hands found their way around his stomach. They rest there timidly. Although his visor was in the way, you could tell he was rolling his eyes at you before sighing and pulling your arms tighter. “See? Like that. Easy.” You didn’t respond, a loud roar from the bike emitted as he started it up. Taking off not long after. During the drive to his house, you started to grow more comfortable. Even going as far as to rest your head on his shoulder, so you could see the road in front.
A new feeling started to bloom inside. One of comfort, safety, relaxation. Was it the bike, was it the new experience? Or was it Hyunjin.. You honestly couldn’t tell. All you knew is right now you felt the best you had in weeks, ever since the tour ended. You didn’t want this feeling to end.
Taglist: @silverstarburst @virluna148 @galaxycatdrawz @onementally-unstabel-kid @uso-dakedo @lampcults @chaer4life
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pascaloverx · 2 days
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Rewrite The Stars
Chapter Eleven
Summary: One photo changes your whole life, when you accidentally bump into a celebrity and the world starts to believe that you are a couple.
chapter ten
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The ride home was peaceful. I mean, your mom was shocked that you and Pedro slept together. But after a breakfast together, she was already enchanted by him. The two of you left as soon as you finished your coffee. Instead of everyone returning in their respective car, you two went in his.
"Now we're both alone, can you answer a question honestly?" You ask seeing that you are getting close to your apartment. You and Pedro are taking advantage of the long car ride to get to know each other better. No phones, media, mothers or internet to get in the way.
"I'll try to be as honest as possible. But depending on the question, I may have a contract that prevents me from answering." Pedro responds while driving concentrated. You look at him, feeling a desire to kiss him. You don't even understand the reason.
"Answer me, Mr. Pascal, why a false relationship instead of a real one?" You ask awkwardly and as soon as the words leave your mouth, it will seem like you are asking the reason you guys don't really date.
"You want a real relationship with me, is that it?" He laughs, and you lightly hit his arm. It's great to see this silly side of Pedro.
"I want to. But seriously. Why don't you actually date instead of investing your time in a fake relationship?" You ask, getting back to the topic. Pedro seems to think deeply about what to answer until he responds.
"Real relationships have real problems. They involve real feelings. When I started to become successful, I thought all my attention should go to acting. Taking care of my family and loving my fans, that was my purpose. When you appeared and this fake relationship story came up, I thought it would be a good strategy. A relationship all planned out. No bad feelings and things like that." Pedro opens his heart to you and you understand what he might mean.
'"I also avoided relationships after breaking up with Enzo. I think I felt guilty about abandoning my relationship with him. He was a very good man, too good. I think you're going to be the last boyfriend I'll have for a while." You say casually and then take a sip of the coffee you and Pedro bought on the way. 
"Since we'll be each other's last relationship for a while, we should enjoy our relationship more. How about a date tonight?" He speaks so naturally that you are surprised and end up spilling some coffee on your clothes. Pedro laughs amused but you look at him disapproving of his reaction. The good thing is that the coffee is iced.
"You mean a real date, no cameras or pretense? Just you and me?" You ask, hardly believing what he's proposing.
"Yes, you and me. No pretenses. Just two people wanting to start a relationship... or something like that. I don't want to rush what could be a good thing. The thing is, I like you. You're spontaneous, realistic, and kind. And pretending to date you has been my personal amusement. So I want to know, if you want to go out with me; to date me and all the romantic stuff that two people can want." Pedro basically declares himself. You feel flattered and even a little enchanted by the idea of ​​dating him. Like really dating.
"I would love to go out with Pedro Pascal. In fact, I would love to go out with you." You reply, caressing Pedro's face as he turns to look at you for a moment and gives your hand a gentle kiss. And as your phone rings, seeing that it's your best friend calling, you answer the call immediately while watching Pascal drive.
"Y/F/N, I just found out on social media. I'm really sorry you're going through this, but you know, I'm sure you'll bounce back. I mean, it's going to be hard to get over dating Pedro Pascal, but you've been through tough breakups before." Your friend tries to console you, but you don't understand.
"What do you mean breakup? Who said Pedro and I broke up?" You ask, confused, watching Pedro, who seems as surprised by the news as you are.
"It's all over the internet. About two hours ago. It seems the press confirmed that you two ended things amicably. There's a story about conflicting schedules and you both deciding to end the relationship. They even said this trip was about you trying to reconnect but it didn't work out." Your friend speaks, and you feel strange. How could your relationship end without anyone talking to you about it? Especially when Pedro just invited you on a real date?
"Y/F/N, I'm still a bit confused about the breakup and everything. Can I get back to you later?" You speak, trying to compose yourself. On the other end of the line, your friend says she understands and promises to call later to check on you.
"I can explain..." Pedro begins to speak. You then realize he already has an explanation. Which means he already knew about this crap somehow.
"You know, I almost believed that you and I would have some chance. Too much naivety, I know. But I don't want an explanation. In fact, I want you to park the car, take my suitcase out of your trunk, and don't try to talk to me for the next few moments." You say, trying not to cry because your pride would be too hurt if, on top of having a breakup without your consent, you cried in front of your fake ex.
"I can take you home. I swear I had no idea they were actually going to end our relationship. It was just an idea, a stupid idea. I can deny everything." Pedro says, and you feel like you could hit him. But you just look at him angrily and unbuckle your seatbelt.
"Don't bother. This fake relationship will end exactly as it started, with internet gossip. I just thought we'd have more time... but whatever. Stop this car and leave me here. I'll call a ride-share to take me back to my old place. And if you insist on bothering me further, I'll make a scene, so..." You try to hold back the tears, but they're already streaming down your face. Maybe Pedro is a little afraid of you, or perhaps he just wants to respect your wish not to talk about it. But minutes later, he pulls over the car and takes your suitcase out of his car.
"You don't have to do this. I can take you." Pedro says, holding your suitcase as you call for a ride-sharing service. You look at him sternly and take the suitcase from his hands.
"It was a pleasure, Mr. Pascal. But I don't want anything more from you, including a ride home. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going home. I suggest you get out of my way." You say, irritated, hoping he'll leave soon. The car that will take you home arrives shortly after, and you basically try to forget the fact that your fake relationship just ended and what could have been a real relationship with Pedro Pascal turned into a complete disaster. And the worst part is, your mother will definitely brag about having said that this relationship with Pascal wouldn't work out.
tag: @wanniiieeee , @hungrhay and @leilanixx
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hey-august · 11 hours
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@soupsprout, you wanted the sad ending to this angst and here it is! I'm gonna go curl up and feel both accomplished and bad for a while. 🥲
Also, @rorywritesjunk, I put the answer to the riddle in this ending, if you're still curious. 👀
➜ First part here WC: ~600 Warnings: buggy x GN!reader, mentions of death (off-screen reader and others), mentions of blood, just overall sad and angsty, no comfort
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
Things were bad and then they got worse. It took too long to find help, not that it would have mattered. Mohji tried to tell Buggy, but he wasn’t sure if the captain really heard him. 
Buggy was sitting on the ground next to you, holding your limp hand in his, and staring at nothing. Your body was slumped against his, as if you were resting. Your face was covered in red - smeared handprints from someone trying to wake you up, and face paint from someone apologizing and begging for something to change.
“Captain, what should we do? We can’t just stay here.”
No response.
“Captain? We have to do somethin-”
Buggy grabbed Mohji by the neck. The anger that flashed on his face was briefly preceded by a more painful and haunting expression.
“Go after them. Chase those fuckers down, anyone who got away,” Buggy said through gritted teeth.
Mohji nodded and coughed when Buggy let go. “And…” The next question trailed off as the lion tamer struggled not to see you, but a body that needed to be disposed of.
“That’s all. Those are the orders. Go!”
Buggy knew exactly what Mohji was going to ask, but he wasn’t ready yet. Besides seeking vengeance, he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to feel. He was full of anger and blame, which fueled the wrath that he used to lash out indiscriminately.
Of course he blamed the raiders who ambushed his ship, and Buggy made sure they felt regret until their last breath. The sounds of screaming and begging for mercy went on far longer than anyone Buggy’s crew expected. 
Unfortunately, Buggy’s anger turned on them next. They shouldn’t have let this happen. Rather than exploding with violence, Buggy began to withdraw. Part of him knew it wasn’t their fault, the crew always had each other’s backs, but he had trouble looking at anyone that was in the same room as you.
For a brief moment, Buggy also blamed you. It was your fault. You shouldn’t have gotten hurt. You should have known better. As soon as that thought formed, all the guilt fell onto Buggy’s shoulders. How could he think that of you? How could he have let this happen? He put you in danger. He didn’t protect you. He didn’t save you. He just let you die.
Buggy couldn’t bring himself to give you a burial at sea. He was afraid of sending you somewhere he couldn’t follow. You said it didn’t matter during one of those late night talks that knitted you two closer together. He remembered how bright the stars were then.
Instead of giving your body to the sea, Buggy chose a small island. One where you could always see the stars, even if they don’t shine as bright anymore.
Eventually, Buggy started eating with the crew again. Laughing with them. Drinking with them. But some days, he would withdraw. He’d sit down on the bloodstained floor, after forbidding anyone from cleaning or replacing the boards, and spend time with you.
At first he would just sit there in silence, full of pain and heartache. Then he started talking. Buggy would tell you about life on the ship, what happened that day, any little story that popped into his mind.
Sometimes, Buggy would tell you jokes and riddles. He always made sure to tell you the punchline as soon as possible, pushed by remorse and fear of leaving you without the answer again. He’d indulge in the humor until his laugh turned into sobs that he couldn’t hold in any longer.
Wiping away his tears with the back of his hands, he'd sit there with a single stinging thought. After losing you, Buggy felt like a lion at the South Pole. He felt lost.
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can I get a frostiem boys with a super shy ™️ mc!?!? I really enjoy your hcs btw ^^!!
Thank you so much! Thank you all for reading them! I'm gonna take these hcs in more of a romantic context just be aware!
JIN KAMURAI
Jin is used to people, typically girls, acting all shy around him. He never expected his partner to be shy as well.
He himself isn't really a shy guy. He keeps to himself sure, but he's got too much cash money and charisma to be shy.
He doesn't mind doing the talking for his partner as well if they need it, but there are times when his patience is a little shorter than other days, so watch out.
He doesn't really like PDA so don't expect any gossip about that, he's more affectionate behind closed doors when its just him and them. What can I say, man likes his privacy.
TOHMA ISHIBASHI
Tohma finds his partners shyness quite cute actually. It brings out a protectiveness in him.
Seeing as he does most things for Jin, he doesn't mind adding his partners wishes onto that playe but please, give this mans a break every now and then.
He will 100% tease them and make them turn tomato red for the hell of it, let's be fair.
Here's another one that isn't necessarily into PDA but he's fine with hand holding while they both walk somewhere or carrying things for his partner.
KAITO FUJI
This is one that clashes a little bit. We all know Kaito is a loud mouth so as soon as he found himself a partner, we all know he's screaming it from the rooftops. If his partner asked him to knock it off however....let's just say he'd do his best.
Kaito thinks he wants like a Disney Channel movie type of romance. Big gestures, matching outfits, pet names, etc. So I think a shy partner would be a bit of a challenge.
There would need to be a LOT of communication for him to finally tone it down to suit his partners pace. He will however listen to their criticism, doing his best not to take it to heart, and actually take their concerns seriously.
He may be a goof, but I'm sure his granny made sure he knew how to respect someone's boundaries. But when his partner isn't there, he will sing their praises, no matter what.
LUCAS ERRANT "LUCA"
I think Luca would be one of the easier ones to adjust to having a shy partner. He's not really an attention seeker. He's more focused on his brother than anything else.
If anything, i think he'd be even more protective of his partner than normal. Making sure that they're okay and that they'll be okay of he's not there.
He always has his phone ringer on in case their partner needs something, even if it's small. If his partner needs help then he's gonna help damnit! Even of it's just ordering food at the cafeteria!
As for PDA, he's too proper, and I'm sure that DA has some kind of rule against PDA, so he wouldn't want to risk it. He will however hold their hand with a smile. At the end of the day he'd do anything if it meant the safety and happiness of his partner.
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my1oves · 2 days
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PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU, CAN YOU DO CHILCHUCK HEADCANONS INSPIRED BY THE SONG "too sweet"?????? 😭PLEASKEJD
Jokes aside, I saw your post on this same topic and I need it, like, really bad
The funny thing is that I had already thought about how much this song suited Chilchuck before, like, bros gonna suffer as soon he falls in love with someone sweet and young, remembering how it went love for him before, and how now he's so sour and... So him...
I can perfectly imagine him having so many internal struggles because, she is so cute and innocent (plus if she's also blonde), so youngful.... But he stops himself so much because he doesn't want to corrupt her.
But a part of him wants to wait until they've matured more... But he feels that's wrong too, Even so, it's almost impossible to hold back on how bad he wants and loves her (Is suprising how he has retained himself for sheer will)
I can also imagine him being mortified because... Come on, he've probably had a lot of dirty thoughts about her even before being "something"
too sweet
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꒰ includes ꒱ ⸻ chilchuck tims.
꒰ warnings ꒱ ⸻ gn! reader, angst & smut (handjob), inspired by 'too sweet' by hozier.
꒰ mimi's note ꒱ ⸻ great minds think alike- the song fits chilchuck well! i hope that i did the idea justice! thank you for the request!
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chilchuck can't help but feel a little guilty whenever you take care of him after a job well done
one can usually find him in a tavern, chasing after the end of a bottle- and by the time he's two or three bottles in, that's when you appear
ready to help him back home, take care of him so gently, scold him for not taking care of himself
he really doesn't know why you stay with him, you two are complete opposites but...
"You know, you don't gotta help him every time," The barmaid said, shaking her head. "Just leave him out on the sidewalk, he'll learn his lesson then." You wave your hand dismissively, helping Chilchuck off of a stool. He leans against you, slurring murmurs of the barmaid to mind her own business.
"I don't mind," You say, earnestly. Chilchuck glances up at you, a fuzzy feeling in his stomach. The barmaid tsks and shakes her head, but doesn't say anything else as you help Chilchuck out the door and to his home. "Did the job go well, then?" You ask, and Chilchuck gives you a prideful grin.
"Of course! They had me, after all." You roll your eyes, laughing quietly at his pride. When you reach his home, you watch in amusement as he tries to pick his own lock, before taking the keys you took off of him earlier and opening the door. "Wow, yer a natural." He scratches his head in genuine shock.
"I learned it from the best," You tease, guiding him through the door. You help him take off his shoes before leading him to the kitchen table. He watches from there as you fill up a glass of water and rummage through is medicine cabinet.
He gives a very sudden solemn sigh. "You deserve better." You throw him a concerned glance over your shoulder. What prompted him to say that? You walk back carefully with glass and medicine in tow.
"Don't I get a say in it?"
"I'm rotten work." He takes the medicine and glass and gulps it all down in one go. "I'll ruin you- you really don't deserve that." He stands up with a slight wobble.
"Chil..." You hesitantly reach out for him, but he shoots you a look that renders you unmoving.
"It's best if ya leave now, let's not risk heartbreak for either of us, yeah?" With that, he stumbles himself to his room, almost tripping over the junk he has lying around his home.
Chilchuck is honestly always so surprised whenever you stay around, especially when he says things he knows probably hurt you.
It only further hurts his guilty conscious- you're too sweet, too pristine. Your vigor for life contrasts his so much he nearly gets whiplash when being near you
He wishes you weren't so... full of life, perhaps then he wouldn't feel bad for imagining being with you, but he'll only corrupt you with his cynicism.
Sometimes he'll ask, if you've ever considered living a lifestyle like his, but he usually backpedals quickly after
"You've never even thought of stayin' up past midnight?" He barks a laugh, and you try hard to hide your embarrassment. You mutter that you have, once, stayed up past midnight but you got super cranky. Chilchuck took a minute to try and imagine that, laughing at how ridiculous the image was.
"Whatever," You pout, and Chilchuck coos.
"Aw, don't be a baby." He teases, pinching your warm cheeks. "I'll help you become bitter and cranky." You turn to look at him, "I'll teach you the ins-and-outs of being a good-for-nothin'-" he cuts himself out very suddenly. "Nevermind."
"Aw boo, I was excited to learn all about it." Chilchuck shakes his head, flicking you in the forehead. "Ow!"
"Don't say that. Keep bein' good, 'kay?" A heavy silence fills the air now, and Chilchuck avoids your gaze. He thinks about it, hard. What if he did teach you how to be like him? Staying up drinking all night, not waking until well past noon, using sarcasm and snark like it's your first language.
If you were more like that, then perhaps he wouldn't mind indulging in his thoughts of being with you. There wouldn't be parts of him that he'd fear for you to see, parts of him that he keeps carefully wrapped up so you don't run away. He clears his throat, straightening his posture. "Well, should probably get goin', right?"
Yeah, it's best not to dwell on such thoughts for long.
though those thoughts are the worst... (NSFW BELOW, mdni)
no, to chilchuck, he feels most guilty about the sinful thoughts he gets when it's late at night, and he needs something to help keep him up
you always fill his mind, the idea of taking your innocent nature and molding it to fit him is addicting
but it's always something he'll wake up regretting the next day
and it's hard for him to look you in the eyes for the next few days- yet he always continues to do it again and again.
Like a shadow, you form appears in the corner of his mind. Biting back grunts of pleasure as he jerks himself off, he can only chuckle at the thought of you walking in on him doing such an indecent act.
"C- Chilchuck!" You'd gasp, face hot as you cover your eyes. "I- I'm sorry! I didn't mean to walk in- I- well- You-" You'd nearly run into the wall trying to get out with your eyes closed, but Chilchuck would just stare hungrily at your form.
"You can look," He'd breath, and you would peak from behind your fingers to watch as his flushed face broke out into a grin. His hand moving up and down his slick cock, strangled moans caught in his throat.
Apprehensively, you take a step forward, in awe. "You wanna help me out?" Chilchuck can imagine the eager nod so clearly. "Always so helpful~"
He would guide you, teach you how to please him. He'd use you so selfishly. "Like this, 'kay?" Biting your lip, you'd try your hardest to keep up, to do well, to please him. His head nearly hitting the wall. It's everything he wanted and more, your soft hands around his cock, giving languid pumps.
Chilchuck's hips would meet your hands, stuttering upwards with need. Biting into his fist to try and hold back his whiney sounds, you would take a surprising course of action, leaning forward to press your lips against his with need, rubbing your thighs together.
Sloppy, wet sounds echo off the walls of the room, and Chilchuck only pulls away to see the dazed expression. Fuck, it's too much. He wants more, he wants you.
But even in his daydreams, he has limits. He won't fuck you just yet, he'll teach you, slowly, all things you need to know.
"Shit!" He cums with a string of curses, the thought of finally fucking you into his mattress after prepping you for weeks (teaching you things like how to suck him off, how to give a proper handjob, etc. and him going down on you, touching you, etc.- all little fantasies of his, of course, he can barely hold your hand to guide you through the marketplace in real life) helping get him off.
And now Chilchuck lays there, panting and covered in his own cum. "Damn it," He curses, running his other hand through his hair and groaning loudly. More curses leave his lips as he knows he won't be able to meet your eyes later that day. He wishes he could stop craving you, stop imagining you in his moments of need, yet he never feels as good as he does when it comes to thinking of you.
In the end, Chilchuck is a weak man- he's never claimed to be otherwise
he'll either give in to his desires, allowing you to care for him even though he knows in the end he'll only hurt you- yet another ruined relationship under his belt
or he'll run away in hopes of forgetting you, drinking away his sorrows as he knows he'll never see you again- it's probably better this way, he'll try to convince himself. you were too sweet for him.
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꒰ ❀ ꒱ thank you for reading. have a wonderful day, darling!
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starry-bi-sky · 8 months
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Childhood Friends Au: Jason
there's something burning in the empty room inside my head fill it up with doubt let it in, let it spread
When Jason gets Tim's text in the groupchat, he ignores it. And then a short series of buzzes distract him from a drug bust. It hasn't even been that long since he reconciled with the family, with Bruce. He thinks that perhaps he should have left it sooner.
He glances at it momentarily when the buzzing stops and he doesn't need to knock out more guys. He sees Tim's question dedicated towards him, and his response is instant, his thumbs flying over in response.
He doesn't care, he's trying to patrol.
(He does not have Danny's number in this phone, it's new. A model from this year rather than one from four years ago. He wants that old phone back. He hasn't even looked at their old letters yet.)
(Jason bets that they've been packed away in storage with the rest of his things. He doesn't want to visit the manor, but maybe he should. Just to find those letters again. He's not sure if he's allowed to.)
And then Tim says its Danny, and Jason flies up to the past texts to find the photo before he can think. And then there is Danny staring right at him again, with the same old smile on his face that he always aimed at people. Lopsided, Danny's favorite kind of smile.
Something old, something new. He's got piercings, and his eyes are as blue as they've ever been. He has an undercut, it looks self-done. It looks good. He looks tired.
Danny's good at hiding things from people, it comes with the purchase of being a street kid. But Jason can't have someone else's back without knowing the ins and outs of the person in question. Jason knows when Danny is tired, and Danny knows when he is too.
Before his death, whenever Danny came over he never missed a beat in telling Jason that he looked like shit. Were Bruce's fancy rich-people, cloud-made mattresses too soft for him? He can find him a moth-eaten street mat for him if he needs it. It'd be like the good old days.
(Jason wishes he could have told him he was Robin, but it wouldn't be safe.)
Jason had to see him with his own eyes, had to confirm with his own eyes just how much Danny had changed. It's just his luck -- if he has any left -- that he arrives to Bruce's dumb gala just as Danny steps out onto their once-shared, west-end balcony.
He drops down, something heavy in his throat, before he can properly think it through. Danny looks up before his feet even touch the ground, like he knew he was there. Jason wonders if he did. There is a cigarette in Danny's mouth. Something old. And something flashes in his eyes that Jason cannot place. Danny looks tense.
Jason feels like he's made a mistake.
In the end, watching Danny walk away feels a lot like Jason is losing something -- or is he missing something? Is it both? He wants to reach out, grab Danny's arm, but his feet are glued to the balcony floor. There are so many things he wants to say, but his tongue has glued itself to the roof of his mouth. Something has crawled into his mouth and died.
So much has been said with so little words. He wants to spin Danny around and ask him so many questions.
What do you mean you spoke to my ghost?
What do you mean I told you the Joker killed me?
What else have I told you?
The Fentons were right?
What happened while I was gone?
Why are you scarred? Where did those come from?
(He is not blind. He saw those silver lightning scars etched into his best friend's skin, saw that it disappeared under his sleeves. Danny did not have those the last time Jason saw him, the last time he was alive.)
(The sight of it makes him alight with murderous intent. He wants to take his best friend by the front of his shirt and shake him -- who did this to you? Who did it? Tell him, he will fix it.)
(But he can't. He doesn't. Doing that means revealing who he is. It means telling his best friend that he has been alive for the last five years and he did not tell him. It would mean telling his best friend that he did not want him to know.)
You're going to kill the Joker for me?
What have I missed?
What do I not know?
You look so tired.
But before he can even get his mouth to move, Danny is gone back inside. The door swinging open, music once muffled now blaring out for only a few seconds before Danny is slipped back inside.
And Jason is left on the balcony, alone, with more questions than he thought he would have. He stares at the broken cigarette on the ground, it feels like a metaphor for something. Jason can't figure out for his second life what it is.
Maybe it's not a metaphor at all, maybe the curtains are sometimes just blue. Maybe sometimes your best friend just tells a vigilante that he is going to murder someone; that he is going to avenge his best friend with his bare hands and feel no remorse for it.
It is what Jason wants Bruce to do, wants someone who loves him to do. But he's not sure if its something he wants Danny to do. Not when he has been living a normal life -- or as normal as it could be -- without hide nor tail knowledge of what Jason used to do, or what he does now.
What have I missed?
Danny. He's missed Danny. He didn't look into Amity Park out of fear of what he'll find; of what he might do. But now Jason thinks he might have to.
Danny has talked to his ghost. Danny is going to kill for him. He has that look in his eyes that Jason knows so familiar; the one where he needs Jason to play distractor while he stole something from the corner store. The one where he looks a kid five years his senior in the eyes and kicks him in the dick because he cornered him and Jason, itching for a fight.
There's a look so familiar in his eyes; the one of a boy that's set his mind to something and he is going to do it. He can't call it the eyes of a cornered animal, because Danny has never been cornered, not when he's been with Jason. He calls it the eyes of a boy about to do something he will never regret.
He watches him leave with the Vlad Masters guy. He hides atop the roof and eavesdrops. The paparazzi have since left now that it was much later in the night; they are not the bigger fish, even if they sometimes parade it to be.
"I thought I told you to make nice." Vlad Masters scowls as he walks to the other side of the sleek black limousine. "To not embarrass me."
Jason frowns at the way he talks. His fingers itch, and something old lurches in his chest: the same old protectiveness that he used to feel whenever he and Danny were about to get into a fight. And then, later, when they would stand inside Bruce's galas with people who couldn't care less if they breathed or died.
Danny scowls right back at him, all venom and bite, and leans against the side of the car. "I did make nice -- as nice as I could when you dragged me here."
Vlad Master rolls his eyes, huffing. Jason's frown only deepens. It's not easy to make Danny do anything he doesn't want to. His sister has tried, so have his parents, as well as his teachers. But Danny is wild and so is Jason. Rebellion and disobedience -- no, independence -- cut into them from the streets like its broken glass.
Jason doesn't remember Danny ever mentioning knowing a Vlad Masters. They must have met after Jason died, then. He doesn't like him. He's the same as all the other socialites in that party. There is a greed in his eyes that Jason knows rots down to the core of him.
"I thought you would enjoy being here, little badger." Masters tries, and his tone makes Jason ruffle. As does the nickname. Danny's scowl only ever deepens, his fingers curling to dig nails into his palms. He looks at Masters like he wants him to burst into flames. "You are friends of the Waynes, I thought you would like the little reunion."
"Whether I did or didn't is none of your business." Danny says. The door clicks open on Masters' side, as if they remembered that they were on the street rather than in the car. Masters climbs into the back, and Danny opens the door. He only reaches in though, and pulls out a old hoodie.
Danny pulls it over his head, and his vest and button-down are hidden underneath it. "Don't wait up you old fruitloop, there's someone here I need to see." And he slams the door shut with more force than necessary.
(Jason makes a mental note to look into Vlad Masters. Who is he to Danny. How did they meet? There is an old animosity between each other that Jason has never seen before. Not even when they were on the streets. Not to this extent.)
Jason's heart seizes up. Danny's reminder early surges to the front of his mind. Right. That's right. He's going to go see him. Jason. He is going to lay flowers on his grave. He remembers that Jason likes zinnias. There are no florists open this late at night, Jason thinks.
He follows Danny from the rooftops. Danny sticks close to the buildings, slipping in and out of shadows. Jason wants to know where he learned how to do that. Where did he learn how to move without a sound?
Five years is a long time to be away from someone, Jason thinks. Something that fills him with dread. Five years is a long, long time. He's afraid that it's been too long. Will he still know Danny like he used to, if he asks? And if he doesn't?
More, more, more. More questions than answers. More things that Jason doesn't know about someone he used know to like the back of his hand. It scares him, and he hates it.
(There is scarring on Danny's hand that Jason has never seen before. Maybe that's the metaphor he was missing before. Maybe there are still more.)
Danny moves like a ghost down Gotham's streets, his hands shoved into his pockets without a care in the world. It is confusing. It is concerning. It is proof that more things have changed than Jason likes.
Danny somehow finds a florist open at this time of night, and buys a bouquet. And like he told the Red Hood, he buys zinnias. Reds and yellows. For a moment, Jason thinks that Danny knows. He wonders if he does.
What would he have told him, if he was a ghost? He told him that the Joker killed him. Maybe that means he told Danny he was Robin too, like he always wanted to. But couldn't, because it wasn't safe, and it wasn't just his secret to tell?
Why has nothing changed, now that he was alive again?
"Did you know," Danny starts, when he sits down at Jason's grave with flowers slipping gently from his fingers, before the tombstone below. Jason is as close as he can without being seen, hiding like a ghost. "That red zinnias mean stead beating of a heart?" He smiles sardonically, "You picked quite the flower, Jay."
(There is an echoing in his ears, Danny's voice faint in the back of his mind. Ghosts can hear you when you speak to their grave, did you know? Jason can hear him better than he should.)
Jason knows the irony. Perhaps it's got double the meaning now, now that he's alive again. Danny doesn't know that though, sitting before his grave with flowers that symbolize a beating heart. Between the two of them, Jason thinks that the only heart here is Danny.
(Between the two of them, the only heart here is one that's made between the two of them.)
"Yellow zinnias," Danny continues, resting his chin in his hand, "mean daily remembrance." His smile tilts on the axis of his mouth, a wrinkle between his brows. He looks pained. Hurt. There is no comment made. Like it doesn't need to be said.
Jason thinks he can hear it anyways, and his heart twists like someone took it and twisted it like a rag, trying to drain the dirty water out of the cloth. He hurts.
I miss you. Is what he hears. Is what Danny doesn't say. Is what Jason knows he's thinking anyways.
I am right here. Is what Jason wants to say, but doesn't. He is right here. But his feet are grave-bound to the floor, and a part of him feels like he's clawing out his own grave again. But the dirt falling is endless and merciless. He can't get free.
He bites his tongue, a lump in his throat. Shame wells in his heart and Jason wants to shrink away from this. His feet are grave-bound to the floor.
"I'm sorry for not visiting sooner." Danny says, hand dropping out of his chin to pick at the ends of his sleeves. His smile fades into a frown. His voice wobbles. "I'm sorry, I don't have an excuse. I should have."
Please don't be. Jason thinks. He doesn't think he can be upset about it, not when Danny is laying yellow flowers on his grave that mean remembrance. i think of you daily. Not when Danny was going to kill the Joker for him.
Jason still doesn't know what to think of that. He still isn't sure if it's real or not.
"I went to one of Bruce's galas today." Danny says, and Jason knows. He saw him there. Danny smiles weakly. "I know, right? First time in five years. Vlad dragged me along, you remember him right?"
No, I don't. Jason thinks, and he feels a flutter of anxiety. A sense of impending doom. A choking dread. What else have I missed? He thinks again. Why doesn't he remember? Danny told him about Vlad, but it can only be from when he was a ghost. How long was he a ghost before he was revived? How often did he and Danny speak?
Jason doesn't like not knowing things, he doesn't like not knowing things about himself.
It would be so easy, a little voice whispers, to reveal himself now. To step forward and take his helmet off. To tell Danny that he was alive. To demand answers that only Danny could know.
But then what? When Danny inevitably asks his own questions? About how long Jason's been alive? Why he was dressed the way he was? Why he didn't say anything earlier, on the balcony?
(But he did say it earlier, when he offered Danny the cigarette and silently asked him for his thoughts.)
Jason is afraid of what Danny might think of him, if he tells him what he's done. About the blood on his hands and the bridges he's burned. What if telling him is just more gasoline on another bridge, with Danny holding the match? He stays silent. Fear is a powerful motivator. It's a powerful deterrent, too.
"The asshole blackmailed me into coming." Danny says, drawing his knees up to his chest. He looks disinterested. Annoyed, actually. Like what he is saying isn't sending alarm bells through Jason's mind. Like what he's saying doesn't concern him. "It's really dumb, actually."
He sighs, long and tired. There is grief etched into every line and pore in his face. "I could have handled it without even needing to come to the gala, I've done it before." He mutters when his eyes open. His fingers brush against the petals of the bouquet.
(And that only sends more alarm bells ringing in Jason's mind. Red lights blaring. Distress fills the cavity of his lungs. What has he missed?)
"I only agreed because I missed you," Danny says, "and Bruce. He invited me to come over sometime soon, to catch up. I agreed and I'm not sure why I did."
Jason didn't know that.
Danny continues talking. Jason listens in dutifully. He feels like a stranger imposing on his own grave. It's ridiculous. It makes sense. He feels like he should slink away and let Danny talk to his grave in peace. He cannot bring himself to move.
If he closes his eyes, he can pretend that he's sitting in front of him, like it's the good old days and they're back in Jason's room in the manor. Staying up late and trading stories back and forth. Sneaking out to the balcony and climbing onto rooftops they’re not supposed to go on. 
Jazz is getting her psychology degree. Him and Sam had a big fight a few years ago, but they’re better now. Tucker wants to start his own tech business. 
And on and on Danny goes, rambling about every little thing he can think of in the last five years since they last talked. He jumps back and forth between topics, when he remembers something he cuts to it. And then jumps back off to the next thought passing through his mind.
"I don't know what I want to do." Danny says, finally, after he exhausts every other topic to talk about. "I wanted to be an astronaut, but now I'm not so sure." His knees draw up to his chin, and he looks so sad. He looks nineteen. Small despite his size.
Were they really just nineteen, verging on twenty? Jason feels older among his years. Fourteen feels so far away.
Danny breathes in slowly, it's a sound that trembles. From where he stands, Jason sees Danny's eyes film over with tears. He makes a choked out sound that sounds like a terrible mix of a laugh and a sob.
"Where did you go?" He whispers. He tries to smile, and it is this pained, awful thing that drops within a second. Fingers clutch at his legs, diggings wrinkles into the fabric. "I know you're still here. Where did you go?"
There is no answer. Guilt is an animal with claws, and it burrows into Jason's heart to make itself home between the tendons. Tears slide from Danny's eyes down his cheeks. He still cries for him, five years later. Five years after. Jason feels worse.
"I haven't stopped looking for you." Danny continues, his voice cracks, and the words run over Jason's ears like water sliding off a duck's back. He doesn't hear it at first -- no, he doesn't understand it at first. And then when he does, he plunges his hands into the waters of his mind to drudge it back up.
You're looking for me? Do you know I'm alive?
It's another question to Jason's never-ending list.
"You might as well tell me where you are now." He smiles again; tries to. It wobbles, lips pulling back to show teeth as more tears spill over and carve red marks down Danny's face. "Or I'll find Cujo and sick him on you. He's gettin' real good at tracking things you know."
Jason doesn't know who Cujo is. But it sounds like a dog. He knows Danny's always wanted one, but their apartments would never allow it. It's not like his parents could afford one either.
There is a silence that hangs over them, with only the sound of the city around them. Danny seems to tremble more and more as each second passes, until finally a bubble pops. His smile drops, and so do his knees that were pressed into his chest.
He doesn't say a thing, not with words anyways. He hunches over and hugs himself with nails that dig into his elbows, failing to stifle a years' old grief. Jason wants to flee, lest he breaks his word to himself and steps out to console and dry Danny's falling tears. It feels like a betrayal unto himself to only stand there and watch him drown in his grief.
Guilt is a thing with claws, and Jason leaves the cemetery with hatred eating his tongue. Danny deserves the privacy that a ghost cannot give him. Jason may no longer be a ghost, but he is still the next best thing. either way I'm left holding onto the shovel and rope digging in the dirt finding bones, finding ghosts
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lit-in-thy-heart · 9 months
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been trying out a new writing technique recently and it's called chilling tf out and reminding myself that fic is written for fun.
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