#i'm actually glad i went through with the adoption already because otherwise this would be a LOT of pressure

[pan-fangirl-345]

Promise Me You Won't Fall In Love

Summary: You and Tsukishima have been friends since you were kids, and you made a promise not to fall in love with each other. But of course, everything's fine and great until someone (both of you) fucked up and caught feelings.

TW: swearing, mutual pining, unrequited love (it is requited later), minor harassment (not a lot), and there is some derogatory talk from an extra that doesn't even have a name (Kei puts him in his place, I promise).

A/N: So this wasn't requested, but I've been thinking about this one a lot recently and I wanted to do something with it, hence this.

Note: Anything in italics is a memory! Well, not all of it, but the longer sections. Most of the time the one or two word-er things are simply emphasized, that kind of thing.

"Tsukishima, your girlfriend's here to see you!" Sugawara told the middle blocker, and he turned to see you leaning against the wall near Yachi and Kiyoko, laughing at something they were saying to you.

"She's not my girlfriend," Kei muttered, walking over.

"Kei! I knew you'd be here," you said, digging through your bag. "One of the girls in my class wanted me to give this to you."

You handed him a bright pink envelope with black sparkly writing on the front, his name scrawled in almost perfect handwriting.

"Another love letter?" he asked, taking it.

"Probably, I've stopped asking. It makes them think that we're together," you told him, crossing your arms.

Kei sighed, opening the letter with little fanfare.

He scanned through it quickly, rolling his eyes.

One thing he had noticed was that the letters he had been getting were really sucky poetry and fancy words. They knew nothing about him worthwhile and he was pretty sure they just wanted to check off the 'I have a boyfriend' box on their high school checklists.

Kei made a noise of disgust and walked over to the nearest trash can, dumping the letter in.

"I'm assuming that's another no?" you asked, smirking at him, already knowing the answer.

He nodded, ignoring the smirk on your face.

You, Tadashi, and Kei had all been friends since middle school. Kei had known you longer, since you lived in the same neighborhood, but you had kind of adopted Tadashi when you had heard about him being bullied, hence why Kei and you were actual friends now. Tadashi was the link between the two of you that had stuck. Being forced to make conversation as some of the only kids in the neighborhood had simply made you acquaintances.

"If you knew I was going to say no then why would you give me the letter?" Kei asked.

"Because I'm hoping you'll broaden your horizons," you offered, waving your hand dismissively. "Besides, it sends the wrong message if I just throw them away without giving them to you. Not to mention, a lot of the girls don't like me to begin with because I'm one of the few people you can tolerate for more than a few minutes at the time. You've never had a girlfriend, Kei, even if they aren't girlfriend material, couldn't you at least make a few more friends?"

"I can barely deal with you and Tadashi, I don't need anymore friends," Kei told you, and you laughed.

"Keep telling yourself that Kei. I'll see you guys later, alright?"

Tadashi and Kei nodded, watching you leave before they rejoined practice.

"Are you sure she isn't your girlfriend, Tsukishima?" Sugawara asked, watching the blocker with mild interest.

Despite being second years now, their former upperclassmen were showing up more as tournament season drew closer. Though Kei also suspected that they were being nostalgic and that they missed their underclassmen's chaos.

"I'm sure," he assured the former setter. "Why?"

"Nothing, just a hunch," he murmured.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Guys, do you ever wonder how many people see you on the side of the street and think, 'Wow, they are the most beautiful person I have ever seen'?" you asked, as you hung upside down on the monkey bars.

"I think the blood is going to your head, (Y/F/N)," Tadashi teased.

"No, I'm serious," you said, turning to look at him. "I was thinking, earlier, about how Kei keeps getting all these love letters, and it made me wonder how many people see me as attractive, but never say anything. I don't think it's very many," you admitted, "but I wonder if they are out there."

Tadashi sighed, putting his hands on his forehead in an exasperated manner.

"(Y/F/N)," he said, sounding almost breathless, "just because Kei is getting letters doesn't mean that people don't find you attractive."

"I'm not saying people don't find me attractive," you said, swinging yourself up onto the bars again. "I know someone in the world must have standards that low, but just because they find me attractive doesn't mean they would date me."

"Why are we talking about this?" Kei asked, annoyance riddling his tone.

"Technically Tadashi and I were talking about it," you told him. "You were simply listening to the conversation."

"That doesn't tell me why this is the topic of conversation," he countered.

"I'm just saying! Kei keeps getting all these letters, and it makes me wonder if these girls actually think that they're in love with him. Attraction is really just a release of chemicals in the brain from when we were simply a species trying to survive. But that's not love," you said.

"So what's love to you?" Tadashi asked, curious.

"I think real, true love is when you see something that reminds you of them and you smile, even without realizing it. I think it's when it hurts to see them hurt, but you stay by them instead of seeking revenge, knowing they need you in the moment. I think it's the little inside jokes that mean nothing to people around you, but it's everything to you. I think it's knowing that there are plenty of people that are better than you out there, but wanting to stick around to be better for that person, to prove that you're worth it.

"I think it's seeing all the broken pieces, and loving them all anyway. It's remembering the little things. It's being able to sit in complete silence and know what the other is saying just because of the way their eyes crinkle. It's knowing that they have the power to break off new pieces, and trusting that they won't. It's when . . . instead of breaking pieces of yourself so that they can handle you, you stay whole. If they choke, you know it's not love, not really.

"It's knowing that you can stand on your own two feet, but leaning on them anyway. It's knowing that you are your own person, but wanting to share it with someone anyway. It's feeling free and wild, but content to stay still, because you trust them. For me, I feel like love is knowing that someone would read with me on a window seat, watching it rain, but they would also drive just a little too fast down older roads with the windows down so we can pretend, just for a moment, that we're in a shitty music video."

You smiled as you turned yourself upside down on the monkey bars again.

"I think it's kind of like what we have, but more romantic."

"You've been reading too much fanfiction," Kei muttered.

"Maybe," you admitted. "But maybe that's because I want to be able to spew romantic bullshit like that when I finally find a guy that likes me for me. I realize that, realistically, I'll probably never feel like that. Or at least, I won't feel it enough to put it into words like that. Fantasy never lives up to reality after all. But it's a nice thought."

"So, you don't think you'll ever find something like that?" Tadashi asked.

"I think that I'll either end up married to a man that was good enough, or on my own with no social life except you and Kei. I'll rely on work to keep me entertained."

Kei snorted.

"What's so funny you overly salted French fry?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.

"If I ever think you're marrying a man that's just 'good enough', I'll say 'I object!' at the wedding," he told you.

"Oh yeah?" you asked, smiling. "And why's that?"

"Because you deserve more than that," he said, looking you in the eye. "(Y/F/N), you are not the kind of girl that should end up with 'good enough'. You're too . . . free for that. Although, maybe independent is a better word. You would wither with just 'good enough', and that's not something I'm willing to let happen."

"Aw, so you do care about me," you cooed, swinging yourself upright onto the bars. "And don't worry Kei, we both know that Tadashi and I will never let you settle with 'good enough' either."

"What about me?" Tadashi squawked, and you laughed.

"Come 'Dashi," you chided, "we all know that you won't end up with 'good enough' even if you try."

His cheeks went pink and you laughed again.

Kei, as much as he pretended otherwise, really loved seeing you and Tadashi laugh like this. It reminded him that there were people who didn't see just the bastard act that he threw up to protect himself.

He loved the way your dimple appeared when you gave Tadashi that real smile, not the smirk or the grin you gave people. He loved seeing Tadashi carefree and not hiding behind his hand when he laughed or smiled.

He loved being able to sit and watch the two of you interact, but know that he could pop into the conversation whenever.

"Kei, that look on your face is kind of creepy," you teased, sliding to the ground to ruffle his hair, a small way of telling him you didn't mean it. "What's it for?"

"Nothing," he muttered, hoping to the heavens that his ears weren't turning pink, though they probably were.

"Come on Tsukki," Tadashi said, giving him a look, "we've all been friends for years. We know you better than that."

"I'm just glad is all," he murmured.

"Glad for what?" you asked, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, leaning over them to look at his face.

"You. Tadashi. You know, my friends," he confessed.

Damn it! His ears were definitely pink.

But he didn't shove you off.

Most people assumed that Kei was a jerk all the time, and while that might have been true for anyone else, you and Tadashi were the exceptions to his rule.

You and Tadashi had been friends with him for almost your whole lives, and both of you had been there during the brother debacle.

You and Kei had lived in the same neighborhood for years, and had been a part of more than a few conversations that had been forced by social convention, and your mother had been good friends with his in high school, though they had lost touch after that.

You had noticed Tadashi being bullied in class and had stepped in, defending him and deciding that he was more worth your time than the other kids.

Which led you to Kei, when you found out that he had helped Tadashi on the playground, even if that had never been his original intention.

The three of you had become a trio of sorts in your later years, though your reputations weren't the most . . . innocent.

Kei had always had a sharp tongue and a quicker wit, and his irritation seemed to have no limits.

You were on level with him, though you were much harder to set off than he was.

Tadashi never really provoked, but he watched as the two of you eviscerated anyone that insulted him.

Kei was ruthless with people who made comments on you and/or Tadashi, never giving them a chance to get another word in, though they had often tried, simply making themselves seem more like idiots.

On the other hand, you tended to let people hang themselves with their own tongues, before using that quick wit and sharp tongue to gut them like the pigs that they were.

Tadashi had little confidence on his own, and he tended to be more affected by words than you or Kei, so most of the time he let you and Kei handle people, but every once in a while, he would be set off.

Nothing was scarier than Tadashi getting pissed. He was rarely ever confrontational, but when something set him off, it was terrifying. He got really quiet, and he never raised his voice. There was a quiet kind of fury that radiated from him when he got like that, and if you and Kei used your words to eviscerate, Tadashi used his to give someone hypothermia. He would make them get colder and colder before their brains tricked them into thinking they were too hot, and then ended them.

All three of you were terrifying in your own ways, but that didn't mean you were like that all the time.

Kei wasn't an asshole all the time, and he enjoyed receiving hugs and other types of physical affection, he was just shit at reciprocating it and letting others see that more 'vulnerable side of him', as he put it. He was better at fixing problems logically. He helped you and Tadashi study, or sometimes bought gifts to make you both feel better, little things that still made your days.

Tadashi was someone who might not be confrontational, but he was very good about getting you and Kei out of your heads when something did hit a chink in your respective armors. He knew that both you and Kei were more affected by what people said than most people were led to believe. He was also a very good listener.

You were the giver of physical affection when the boys needed it. Kei tended to need it more than Tadashi, since Tadashi had his moms who were more than willing to give hugs. Kei didn't like his mother thinking anything was wrong, and he didn't completely trust his brother anymore, so physical contact was kept to a minimum.

Tadashi was okay with giving Kei affection, but most of the time, when it came to Kei, you were the one he went to.

You had asked him once, why he always came to you.

"I sometimes think Tadashi puts me up on a pedestal," he had admitted. "He knows me, and he's my friend, but sometimes it feels like I can't disappoint him. I don't feel that way with you. Besides, your short enough that hugging you feels better. Plus, Tadashi is all bones."

"We're glad for you too Kei," you told him, leaning your chin on his shoulder.

Tadashi nodded, taking a seat beside Kei.

Kei's heart clenched, like it often did when he was reminded that he really did have great friends, and his ears got hotter.

"Alright, enough of the mushy stuff," he muttered, trying to wave you and Tadashi away.

"Come on Kei," you whined softly, gently bumping your head with his, "we all know that you have a heart! Don't be that way, it's just us."

Kei made a small noise, and you laughed, releasing him so that you could sit on his other side, peering up into his face with your adorable fucking doe eyes.

"You know you don't have to pretend with us," you murmured, leaning on his shoulder, taking his hand.

"Yeah, we've all been friends for long enough Tsukki," Tadashi agreed, leaning his head on Kei's other shoulder.

"I hate you both," he muttered, trying to hide his face in his hands.

"Nuh uh," you said, pulling away to pull his hands from his face, sounding like a child. "No hiding from us."

You took his hand again, and for a while, all three of you just sat there, enjoying each other's company.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Tsukishima! You're girlfriend is here again," Suga said, gesturing to where you were walking through the doors of the gym, laughing with Yachi.

"Again, she's not my girlfriend," Kei muttered.

He remembered, suddenly, about the promise you had both made when you were middle school and boys were starting to notice girls and vice versa.

"Kei and (Y/F/N) would make such a cute couple when they're older," your mother had told his, smiling as you both chatted at a neighborhood barbeque, being two of the only children there that could hold an intelligent conversation.

At that point, you and Kei were more than acquaintances, but you weren't exactly friends yet either.

Neither mother had realized that you and Kei had overheard, and when Kei had glanced at you, your nose was wrinkled like it did when you were grossed out by something, your expression mirroring his.

"Promise me something Kei," you had said, turning your attention back to him. "Promise me that you won't ever fall in love with me."

"Why not? I mean, I won't, but I want a reason," he had said, arms crossed as he looked at you.

"Because we're friends," you had said, like it had been the simplest thing in the world. "And because if we ended up falling in love and dating that means Tadashi would feel left out all the time and I won't let that happen. So promise me."

"I promise not to fall in love with you if you promise not to fall in love with me," he had offered.

"Deal," you had told him, offering him your hand to shake on it.

"Ah, Kei, there you are!" you said, smiling at him. "There's another letter. Based on the amount of hearts on it, another confession."

"Keep it," he muttered, pushing your hand away when you went to hand him the letter.

"Kei, I don't want to carry around another one of your love letters," you said, wrinkling your nose. "These aren't for me, and they make me sick, so please, for the sake of our friendship, take the damn thing off my hands so I can wash them."

He sighed, a pained sound that had you laughing, and took the letter, slipping it into his bag, wondering if the girls at school would ever take a hint that he wasn't interested.

"Why is Tsukishima so popular with the girls?" Hinata wondered out loud. "His personality is so crappy."

"And I don't think I've ever heard him say a nice thing to anyone," Kageyama added.

"That's because you guys are irritating to Kei," you interrupted, turning to them, arms crossed and hip cocked out to the side. "Most of the time, he's helpful and respectful. You two just aren't the kind of people he would voluntarily hang out with."

"Rude," Hinata cried, then pouted, "but true."

"The only people Kei really rips into are people he doesn't like, doesn't respect, people who disrespect Tadashi or me, or people who betray his trust. You two are options one and two."

"He just seems like an unfeeling asshole, even after three years of knowing him."

"I think it's the opposite actually," you told them.

Kei could feel your eyes on the back of his head, either unaware that he could hear you or uncaring that he was listening.

"I think he feels all of it, at one hundred and twenty percent. He just acts like that to avoid getting hurt in most cases. In your case though, he really does just not like you. Or, more accurately, he doesn't like that you two are so clearly passionate about something when he gets scared of something hurting him if he cares too much. Like Tadashi told you once, Hinata, if Kei didn't at least like volleyball, he wouldn't be here. Just think about it," you told them.

"(Y/F/N)!" Tadashi called. "We're still studying at your place right?"

"Yeah, just like always," you assured him. "Kei, you still have the spare key, just let yourselves in."

He nodded, spinning the ball in his hands as he watched you walk away.

"Tsukishima, are you one hundred percent sure that she isn't your girlfriend?" Suga asked, eyebrows raised at him.

"Three hundred percent sure," Tsukishima grunted as he served the ball.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Why do you never accept any of the confessions, Kei?" you asked, looking at him from over the top of your textbook.

Your head was hanging off the side of your bed and your socked feet were crossed at the ankles, resting on your wall.

Kei's neck hurt just looking at you, but he didn't say anything to you about moving.

"Because they aren't my type," Kei muttered, checking his notes before writing down an answer on his paper.

"What is your type?" you inquired, rolling onto your stomach, setting you book to the side. "Because I don't think I've ever seen you take an interest in a girl." You frowned, then added, "Romantic interest I mean."

Kei wondered what other interest you had thought he might get out of that, but he decided not to question it. Despite knowing you for years, and being as close to you as he was, you still managed to be somewhat of a mystery to him.

"Does it matter?" he asked.

"Yes, because I want to be able to set you up when you decide you're ready for a relationship!" you said. "Tadashi and I would make great wingmen. Well, wingman and wingwoman, but you know what I mean."

Kei actually turned to look at you at that one.

"You're serious," he muttered, noting the look on your face.

"Yes! Unless you don't think you're going to want a romantic relationship, which is completely okay too. I just want you to be happy is all."

"You know what makes me happy?" Kei asked, pausing to let you answer, but instead you stayed quiet, watching him with those damn doe eyes. "Getting my homework done and not having to deal with confessions from girls that don't know the first thing about me."

Kei heard your small chuckle, and as he went back to his homework, he found himself smiling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kei had always known that, objectively, you were very pretty (he had heard enough from his classmates over the years to have it verified), but sometimes you did something, and he would realize all over again.

Today you had laughed a little harder as he ripped into someone, and you had given him one of those dimpled smiles that he adored so much, and he had stood there blinking for a moment before he cooled his expression again.

Kei didn't really understand why he got so mad when someone flirted with you in the hallways, or when you came to cheer the team on during games.

He had always assumed that it was merely because you were such good friends, but then he had realized that no one else got that mad, they didn't feel the same painful burning in the pit of their stomachs at seeing you with another guy.

Asking Suga had done absolutely nothing, the setter had merely suggested that Kei was jealous, which was absolute bullshit, and he wasn't desperate enough to contact Bokuto or Kuroo yet, though he might be at the point of asking Akaashi.

He would know if he liked you the way that the older setter was implying. He would know if he was in love with you.

Right?

Kei could worry about that later, right now he was more interested in getting that guy's hand off your shoulder and away from your neck.

"(Y/F/N)," Kei called, striding over, back straight. "The game's about to start, we've got to go."

"Kei!" you chirped, smiling at him, moving to his side immediately, giving the guy that had been bugging you a sugar sweet (and utterly fake) smile over your shoulder. "See you around never, hopefully!"

Kei pressed his lips together to hide his smile, letting you wrap your hand around his.

"Was that guy bothering you?"

"A little, but you got there just in time," you told him, your hand tightening it's grip for a moment before you let him go. "Thanks for always having the most amazing timing Kei!"

"Yeah, whatever," he told you, bumping your shoulder with his.

"Seriously, what is it with the girls that hang around with us and wandering off?" Daichi asked when you walked into the gym with Kei.

"Sorry guys! I just wanted to buy a key chain," you said, holding it up, grinning. "It's not my fault that athletes can't take no for an answer! Sometimes I think your on-court determination bleeds over into everyday life."

There were some nods, and Kei watched as the guy that had been bothering you stepped onto the other side of the court.

He followed the guy's eyes to you, where you were laughing at something Kageyama said.

Did- Did that moron just lick his lips at you?

Kei felt that burning sensation in his stomach again.

Kei didn't realize that he had been glaring until he heard your voice right next to him.

"Anyway, good luck guys!" you told them, affectionately ruffling Tadashi's hair, hip-checking Kei on your way into the stands, flashing him that damned dimpled grin over your shoulder.

"Hey, Blondie!" the guy called. "You, Glasses! I'm talkin' to you!"

Kei turned to see the guy from earlier smirking at him.

"Dude, your girl is so hot!" he said.

Kei felt the entirety of Karasuno tense behind him as they realized what was going on.

"Yeah, she is," Kei agreed.

"Think you'd be willin' to share her with me? I promise I'd take good care of her."

"Oh shit," someone muttered, and Kei saw red for a moment before he got himself under control.

"Is your ass jealous about the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?" Kei asked, putting his hand on his hip.

Using insults like that was never really his thing, but he was really pissed right now.

"Hey, Tsukki," Tadashi said quietly, "you might not want to-"

"What did you just say to me?" the guy asked.

"Hey, Kei!" you called from the stands, waving at him to catch his attention. "Leave the smack talk for when you actually win! Block his spike down his throat for me, alright?"

He nodded, giving you a grin that had you giving him one right back.

"God forbid if she was a guy and they were on the same team," Suga muttered, and the others nodded.

"Alright, time for the game to start," Daichi said.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kei did as you asked: he blocked every single spike that the guy tried to send over the net, and Kei could already tell that the guy was pissed at the end of the first set.

He was spiking more and more aggressively, which was screwing up aim to the point where Kei didn't even really need to block.

"Go Karasuno!" you cheered, smiling at the team from the stands.

Kei, every time he felt his anger getting out of control, looked to you in the stands to calm down.

Finally, the scumbag was so out of control that he was switched out with another wing spiker.

From there, the game was easy.

By the end of it, Kei hadn't even needed to look for you in the stands. Not only had he memorized where you were, but no one else on that team pissed him off as much as that scumbag did.

As soon as the ball landed on the other side of the court, and it was called, you were running down from the stands, running for him.

"Kei! You were so great!" you cheered, wrapping your arms around his neck, jumping at him.

He wrapped his arms around your waist to keep the both of you from falling over, and he buried his face in your neck as he set you down.

"Oh my gosh, Kei that was so amazing! I think that's the best you've played all season! Seriously! Some of those blocked looked like they would've ripped my arms off, that was so cool!" you gushed, holding onto his forearms.

Kei nodded, giving Tadashi a look over your shoulder for a moment, letting him know that it was okay for him to go on ahead.

"Thanks for blocking the slime ball for me Kei!" you said, smiling up at him. "And what did he say to you that got you so pissed off? I haven't seen you that mad in forever!"

"It was nothing," he told you, "it was stupid."

"Are you sure?" you inquired, looking up at him.

"Yeah, I'm sure the team will tell you about it later."

"Alright, I just wanted to make sure that you were okay," you told him, "'cause you looked really pissed. I haven't seen you that pissed off since that one guy tried to make Tadashi cry."

"I don't like it when people make you uncomfortable like that," Kei said. "It really pisses me off."

"Is that why you kept looking at me during the game?" you asked, and Kei wondered if any other girl would've been so honest with him about something like this, or if it as just the fact that you had both spent so much time together growing up. "I noticed that you always looked at me whenever you had the chance."

Kei nodded, gesturing with his head towards the doors, so that he could catch up with the team and talk with you at the same time.

"Yeah, that was one of the reasons. It kept me focused on the scumbag's spikes, and it calmed me down enough so that I didn't punch him whenever we were across the net from each other."

"I kinda wish that you had, but I also know that it would've gotten you ejected from the game, which is not something I want to happen. Anyway, thanks Kei," you told him, smiling up at him.

"Yeah, always," he said, putting his hand on your head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was when you were over at his house Sunday morning when he realized that he might need to call Kuroo and Bokuto.

You, Kei, and Tadashi had had a sleepover, but Tadashi had left early to spend some time with his moms, so Kei had woken up to you with a hand on his chest and his arm numb from where it was pillowing your head.

The three of you had been sitting on Kei's bed watching a movie, but Tadashi had tipped over sometime near the halfway marker, and Kei had fallen asleep not long after that, so he could only assume that you had fallen asleep sometime after Tadashi had left this morning.

Kei turned on his side slowly, not wanting to wake you up, wrapping an arm around your waist softly.

He toyed with your hair, twisting it in his fingers gently, brushing it behind your ear, threading his fingers through it.

He wasn't ready to get up for the day yet, so he laid there with you, wondering how it would be ten years in the future.

Would your hair be longer? Would you cut it shorter? Would you dye it? Would you have kids by then?

That last one had made him pause.

He had always known that short of you dying or some huge falling out, Kei was in no way going to be able to get rid of you or Tadashi, but he had never even considered dating you, let alone anything beyond that.

So why was he wondering what your kids would look like? Why was he wondering how many you would want, if any? Why was he questioning how many stray animals you might bring home after work?

He sounded like every lovesick fool that got his heart broken in those weird movies that Tadashi liked to watch.

Kei glanced down at your face, and he suddenly found himself unable to think of a reality where he didn't wake up like this for the rest of his life.

When had he stopped seeing you as his little sister, or the annoying female friend that all of his classmates admired? When had he started seeing you as someone he could fall in love with, if he hadn't already?

But even with this new revelation, he couldn't bring himself to pull away from you.

Kei loved it when you both bickered like you hated each other, and he loved when you were able to throw back any insulting thing he said to you. He loved being able to have real conversations with you, but he also liked just sitting quietly with you.

This though, this was by far his favorite thing, seeing all the stress gone from your body, seeing your face without any kind of mask on, he adore seeing the calm serenity that came with sleep.

"Mm, Kei?" you asked sleepily, glancing at him. "What time is it?"

"Still early," he murmured, tucking you into his chest again. "Go back to sleep."

"M'kay," you said, nuzzling in close.

Kei waited for a minute before he grabbed his phone and his glasses from the side table, texting Kuroo.

Normally, he would've talked to Tadashi, but Kei didn't want to drag him into anything until he knew for sure, just in case he was wrong.

Kei: I have a question for you

Kuroo: What's up Tsukki-poo?

Kei: First, don't call me that

Kei: Secondly, and this is completely hypothetical, but how do you know when you love someone?

Kuroo: Aww, is my little kouhai in love with someone? How cute!

Kei made a face, taking a deep breath and glancing at you quickly before he turned his attention back to his phone.

Kei: Just answer the question

Kuroo: We're talking hypothetically?

Kei: Yeah

Kuroo: Can't you use the internet for this stuff? Why ask me? Why not ask Freckles? Or the pretty setter on your team?

Kei: The internet would tell me I have cancer, not that I might be in love with someone

Kei: Secondly, as for the setter comment, I'm assuming you mean Suga

Kei: Thirdly, he would go tell Tadashi, and then the possible love interest, and I don't want to deal with any of those things

Kei: So, please, for the sake of my sanity, just answer the question

Kuroo: Alright, alright. Jeesh. Hypothetically, if you were in love with someone you might start noticing their presence more

Kuroo: It would feel almost like you have a compass where the needle points to them, and you can't turn it off. You notice the little things more than normal, and you know them. I mean, really know them. They feel almost like a part of you

Kuroo: Seeing them hurt hurts you. You constantly feel the need to make sure that they're okay. Even the little things that kind of annoy you are a huge part of what you love about them

Kuroo: You find yourself smiling at them, even when they're doing something completely mundane, and you could recognize their voice in a crowd. Suddenly, they went from just another person, to someone that you could find in a crowd, even if they blend in enough that they normally fade into the background

Kuroo: Hypothetically speaking, of course

Kei was surprised by how much his mentor was able to type out in such a short amount of time, but in the end, he was most surprised by how much it lined up with what you had told him earlier. The basics were the same, and Kei sighed, realizing what this meant for him.

Kei: How to I make it stop?

Kei: Hypothetically

Kuroo: When I figure that out, I'll let you know

Kei blinked at that, then sighed again.

Kei: Thanks, Kuroo-san.

Kuroo: Sure thing Skinny, let me know how it goes

Kuroo: Hypothetically, of course

Kei couldn't help but chuckle softly, and he set his phone aside, wondering whether this was going to change anything, and how long he had been in love with you.

He had always noticed the little things about you, it was just a part of him being perceptive, and he had grown up with you, so he automatically knew you better than 80 percent of the people you went to school with.

But he was more in tune with your presence than even Tadashi was. And he had always managed to pick your voice out in a crowd.

He glanced down at you, and suddenly, instead of being worried about if he was in love you, he was more worried about whether you loved him back or not.

Kei debated texting Tadashi, but he decided that it could wait, and he wanted to enjoy this time with you unhindered.

Kei knew that he was never going to say anything unless he was sure you felt the same way about him.

For one thing, you were nice enough that it was entirely possible that you would date him just because you were too nice to say no. For another thing, he wasn't the kind of guy to make a move if he thought it wouldn't lead to a win. Not to mention, that if you he did ask you out and you said no, that might make things awkward in the friend group, and Kei didn't want that to happen.

He had gone this long, right? What was a few more weeks?

But, of course, things didn't go the way that Kei wanted them to.

As the end of a semester approached, as well as the end of the year, projects piled on, as did speeches and tests.

Kei had always done well academically, and he wasn't as stressed as some of the other people he knew, like Hinata and Kageyama.

You seemed to be feeling the pressure too, even though Kei knew that you were going to be getting some of the higher grades in class, just like always.

You were freaking out more than usual, and Kei realized that he needed to do something if he didn't want you to overwork yourself.

He found you on the swings at the park by your house.

He had gone over to make sure that you had eaten something, but your mother had told him that you had gone out earlier, and that she didn't know where you were.

"Hey," he said, announcing his presence as he settled beside you.

"Hey Kei," you replied, staring at the ground in front of you like it held the key to the universe.

"Are you okay?"

"No," you admitted. "I'm so nervous and freaked out that I can't eat anything. I have that weird mineral deficiency so drinking water just makes me really dizzy and I almost passed out when I stood up at the end of the day and there's nothing I can do about it! Not to mention that, once again, I got stuck with the morons that aren't going to do anything to help me with the project so I'm stuck doing everything by myself. For some of my classes, that's okay, I can just tell the teacher that they didn't help, but for some of them they're going to give me that bullshit lecture about working together. I have no idea what to do my speech about for that one class, and I have so many back to back tests that I think I might forget everything!"

Kei let you ramble, watching the way your hands moved around, trying to communicate the stress and anger and nerves that you were experiencing all at once.

He watched the way yours eyes widened and squeezed shut to add extra emphasis. He watched the way you glanced over at him to make sure that he was still paying attention, to make sure that you weren't annoying him, the way you smiled a little bit whenever you noticed that he was watching you and that you weren't annoying him by talking.

Somehow, you started talking about the constant love letters that he was getting.

"I mean, I get that some girls feel the need to have a boyfriend," you said, rolling your eyes, "but I have bigger things to worry about than their attraction to you, you know? One girl gave me a letter the other day, and I was so tired that I didn't realize what it was, and I started to read it and I was caught between wanting to laugh, cry, and hurl all at the same time."

Kei perked up at that.

"It made me kinda sad too," you admitted, your voice quieting. "I mean, it must really suck for you, getting all these letters claiming that they love you when they don't even know that first thing about who you are. I mean, it was hilarious that she even thought that you were interested in getting a girlfriend, and it was sickening how many times she used the words 'hot', 'sexy', and 'unadulteratedly handsome' to describe you."

Kei knew he made a face at that, with the way you laughed, before you continued, your voice even quieter than it had been, "But it made me sad to think that you keep having to read these things. They claim that they love you, that they want to be with you, and they don't even know who you are. Not in a way that matters at least. I don't know, it was just kind of depressing I guess."

You glanced at him, turning to face him.

"I hope you don't mind, but I started throwing them away. I'm getting sick and tired of being their carrier pigeon, and I really hate thinking about you having to deal with them all the time. If they want to confess they can find another way to do it."

"I don't mind, at all," he assured you, and you smiled at him.

But then your smiled faded into something similar to a frown.

"Hey, Kei?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you remember that promise we made when we were kids?"

"How could I forget? You never shut up about it during middle school," he teased.

"I broke that promise," you whispered. "That was one of the reasons that those letters made me so upset. As someone who has loved you, really loved you, for longer than they've known about you, it made me sick to read some of the things they said. I know that that makes me sound like some kind of possessive bitch, but it's true."

Kei stared at you, wondering if he had just heard that right.

You were in love with him? And had been for more than three years?

Kei felt like the breath had been knocked out of him.

"What's with the face Kei?" you asked. "I thought you knew already."

Kei didn't think that his eyes could get any wider than they were at that moment.

"Y-You . . . I-I what?"

"Come on Kei, you had to have noticed by now," you said, looking more concerned by the second. "I mean, it's not like I act the same way around everyone else that I do around you."

Kei let his brain process the things that you were telling him before he managed to squeak out, "You mean, like a friend thing right?"

You bit your lip, checking his face for something, fiddling with your fingers in your lap.

"No, Kei," you said finally. "I mean like, I want to be your girlfriend kind of love."

You weren't looking at him now, and he was worried you were taking this the wrong way. He didn't want this to end in a misunderstanding so he sighed dramatically.

"So, you're telling me that I could have confessed months ago and avoided the entire overthinking part of my recent internal panic?" he asked, watching the way your brows furrowed with confusion, the way your head whipped up when you finally realized what he was saying to you.

"A-Are you saying that the feeling is mutual?" you asked, eyes wide as you both looked at each other.

"Yes, you dumbass," he teased, smiling softly at you. "I broke that promise too, so it's okay, since we both broke it."

Now you were the one staring at him in disbelief.

Then you were off your swing and pacing in front of them, waving your hands around like a madwoman.

"Holy shit, you love me back," you muttered, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye every few seconds, like you were worried he would disappear. "I-I don't know what to do from here. I never thought that I would get this far. Is . . . is this where we talk about whether we want this to be a serious thing?" you asked. "Is this where we agree that we love each other but we pretend like nothing's changed? What am I supposed to do in this situation?"

"For one thing," Kei said, standing so that he could wrap his hands around your wrists, gently making you look at him. "You could calm down and let me get a word or two in before you make yourself black out."

You nodded, taking a deep breath.

"For another," he continued, "you and I should go back to your house. Your mom is worried sick about you, and you need to eat something before you pass out. We can have a serious talk about what this means once you aren't in danger of passing out from exhaustion or malnutrition."

"Okay, but only because I know that you're going to make me do it anyway," you told him, making him laugh.

You both walked in silence for a while before you asked, "When did you realize?"

"A few months ago," he admitted. "I think I've always known, but that guy- the slimeball that I blocked- got on my nerves enough that I knew it wasn't some platonic 'protect a friend' thing. I started seeing it more and more after that. I talked to Kuroo-san about it when I was nearly 100 percent sure, and that solidified it for me I guess, that night you and Tadashi stayed over and we watched that horrid slasher film. I woke up and you were right there by my side, and suddenly I couldn't imagine waking up any other way."

"That really was a horrible movie," you muttered. "I didn't think you were going to be the cheesy one today, but then again, you are always surprising me. And you didn't think to tell me?"

"I was worried it would make things awkward, and I didn't want to say something and be wrong, you know? Besides, you can't say anything. How long have you known?"

"Do you remember the summer before our third year in middle school and we all stayed at my grandparents' camp for three weeks?"

"That long? We were- what?- twelve?"

"Yeah. I remember that there was a thunderstorm the first night we were there, and I got up in the middle of the night because I couldn't sleep, so I stood on the deck, in a tank top and shorts because I wanted to. I don't even remember how long I had been out there when you wandered out. I remember calling you a dumbass because 'What if I was a murderer?' and you just called me short.

"We both stood there for a few minutes, and when I shivered, you wrapped your arms around my waist from behind me, pressing your chest to my back and calling me an idiot for wearing something so light in the middle of a thunderstorm. Instead of doing the sensible thing and getting a blanket or a jacket, you just hugged me and stood there with me until I couldn't stand it and we went inside."

Kei remembered that. He had seen you standing out on the deck when the lightning had flashed, and he had been worried when you weren't in your room, so he had gone out to check on you.

You had looked so happy, standing there in the rain, listening to the thunder crash in the distance.

He had wanted to stay with you, so he had.

It was one of the first times he had decided that he didn't care what it looked like, he cared for you, and he was going to show it somehow.

Kei slipped his hand into yours, interlacing your fingers together.

You glanced at him, but you didn't say anything, just squeezed his hand and walked with him.

When you both got back to your house, you grabbed a plate of food and plopped down at your desk in your room.

Kei lounged on your bed while you ate, watching you flip through a textbook and scribble notes in between bites of food.

When you pushed the plate to the side, your turned to face him.

"So."

"So."

You both locked eyes and chuckled.

"I already told you what I wanted out of this," you told him, shrugging. "I'm fine with whatever we decide, but that's my best case scenario ending for this."

"You make this sound like a business meeting," he teased, watching you stand up to move next to him on your bed.

"What do you want from this, Kei?" you asked, glancing down at your lap.

"I want you to be my girlfriend," he admitted. "I want to glare at guys that think they even have a chance with you. I want to kiss you for good luck before a game, all that sappy shit that everyone says that I wouldn't be into."

You smiled, laughing a little breathlessly for a moment before you comprehended everything he said.

"All of it?" you asked, turning those damned doe eyes on him again.

"All of it," he confirmed.

You chuckled softly, taking his hand again.

"Good. Me too."

"Good," he replied, pressing a quick kiss to your temple.

You giggled, something that made Kei stop for a moment, because you weren't the type of girl to giggle, at anything.

He smiled softly at you, and he wondered how much shit he was going to get from his team with you around, but he realized that it wasn't anything he needed to worry about yet.

Then he remembered something else.

"Hey, do you want to cause a little chaos?" Kei asked you.

"How so?"

"Remember how I said I talked to Kuroo-san?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, he wanted me to let him know how it went," Kei admitted. "I have him, Bokuto, Akaashi, Lev, and Hinata in a discord group chat. I want to try something, if you're okay with it."

"What do you have in mind?" you asked, arching an eyebrow, a smirk on your lips that said you were up for almost anything.

Skinny: img.jpg

Skinny: Thanks Kuroo-san

five people are typing...

Kei laughed, leaning over to show you the chaos that had ensued when he had sent the group chat the photo of you kissing his cheek.

You giggled at the many exclamation points and question marks, snickering at Kuroo's reply.

"I love you," you told him, kissing his cheek again.

"I love you too," he said, ignoring the calls that were coming through on his phone as he leaned over to cup your face in his hands.

#kei x reader #tsukishima x reader #kei tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #haikyuu x reader #love #requited love #unrequited love #mutual pining #friends to lovers #this wasn't supposed to be this long #holy fuck #i'm actually really proud of this? #tsukishima #kei #tsukishima kei #kei tsukishima #kuroo tetsuro #tadashi yamaguchi #haikyuu!! #hq #hq fluff #hq x reader #haikyuu!! x reader

[brokemultidotexe]

Life in the Fastlane

Pairing: Racer!Yoongi x Reader

Summary: Street racing wasn't something you wanted to experience until your roommate dragged you to one. You end up realizing that it's nothing like the movies and that the bad boys can be the ones with the biggest hearts

Word Count: 5.5k

Warning: None

Genre: Action(?)

Part: ONESHOT

You glanced at yourself in the mirror. Jimin had managed to push you out of your comfort zone for tonight. You had promised Jimin last month that you would finally go watch him race. The fact that it was illegal didn't sit well with you but you eventually gave up that argument after watching Jimin’s face light up when he would talk about it. Since the cheating boyfriend fiasco, you hadn't been smiling much and that's how you ended up here in black skinny jeans that were just a little too low and a little too tight. The shirt was too low for your liking and hugged your curves and while this wasn’t something you would normally wear it was hard not to admit that you looked hot.

"Y/N get your sexy ass out here, it's time to go." You looked at the clock, it was already eleven o'clock. You took one more look at yourself in the mirror.

"It's only one night." you told yourself, "we're doing this for Jimin."

"Y/N!"

You jumped at the sudden yelling. You grabbed your phone and license; you didn't want to carry a purse. You walked out of your bedroom and could see Jimin standing by the door with his arms crossed. Of course, Jimin was just dressed in a fitted t-shirt that showed off just how nice his body was and some ripped jeans. It took a lot of arguing for you to agree to wear this after Jimin claimed you would stick out like a sore thumb and everyone would stare at you. You weren’t one to welcome attention so you decided to follow your best friend's advice.

It took all of thirty minutes to get there. You hated Jimin's bucket seats in his car and it felt odd having the back seat completely gutted. Jimin pulled up and parked into a line with a bunch of other cars. It honestly looked like an independent film version of Fast and the Furious that was close to reaching the end of their budget. She snorted at her own thoughts and Jimin raised an eyebrow at her before getting out of the car and walking around to the front of his car. You soon followed and walked up to Jimin and you leaned your hip against the front of Jimin's car.

"So, what now?" You looked around and there were about thirty to forty people mingling, some were drinking others weren't.

"Well, I have to find Yoongi and give him my share." You watched Jimin pull out a wad of money. You learned awhile back to not ask where he got that kind of money. "Will you be okay by yourself for a few minutes?"

"Yeah." Truthfully, you didn't want to be left alone but you also didn't want to look like a lost puppy following Jimin around. You watched as Jimin left and you folded your arms across your chest and looked out over all the people. You felt so out of place but you found this group of people oddly interesting. It was like watching a family reunion or something. Your eyes roamed your surroundings and fell on the building behind everyone. You saw the letters sprawled across it Kim and Sons Auto Shop.

"Well, I haven't seen you around here." You looked to your left and saw a guy with a hoodie and noticed his eyes looked at your body from top to bottom. "You must be my divine intervention for the night." His voice made you roll your eyes.

"I doubt it," you said dryly. You weren’t in the mood to deal with anyone; you were here for one reason and one reason only. To support Jimin and then get home and binge watch Netflix until you passed out.

The guy raised his eyebrow and took a step closer, "I could get us out of here, take you to my place nearby and give you a night you won't ever forget." He ran his hand down the curve of your side resting on her hip.

You scoffed, "You've got a hand, which I can promise you will be the only action you'll be getting tonight."

"You've got a mouth on you, I bet-"

"Jeon!" You watched as the guy turned around. Your eyes went to the guy walking over to them. The guy was in ripped jeans, combat boots, a white shirt with a button-up shirt opened over it. You were jealous of the guy's boots. If only you could afford a pair that nice. The guy pulled the guy's shirt causing the guy to stumble away from them. "The girl is out of your league Jungkook, you want a level playing field go grab one of the whores congregated around hyung."

"Screw you Hoseok, the girl can make her own-" You watched as the guy grabbed Jungkook by the collarbone and roughly pulled him towards him to get him off balance and then turning and kicked his back causing him to stumble away from him. Jungkook glared and cursed at Hoseok but he was unphased by it. Your eyes were wide watching the exchange between them.

"Why don't you get one of the whores to go nurse that injury?" Hoseok said as Jungkook walked away with his hand rubbing his back. Hoseok turned and held his hand out to you, "I'm Hoseok."

You shook his hand, "Y/N." You peeked over Hoseok's shoulder to see Jungkook heading back over to the group of people you saw before.

"Ignore Jungkook, the punk thinks he's God's gift to women when he’s on something. From what I've heard though is that God shortchanged him in a vital area." You found yourself laughing, "So are you here by yourself?"

Just as you were about to answer Jimin walked up, "Okay, we're good now. I wanted to take you to meet-"

"Yo Park!" Jimin turned around and smiled. You watched as they fist bumped and Hoseok swung his arm over Jimin's shoulders.

"Y/N, meet Hoseok." Jimin looked between his two friends with a look of hope.

"You can call me Hobi." Hobi smiled, "But we've met, Jungkook tried to lure your girl home."

Jimin laughed out loud, "I would have loved to see him try." he looked at Hobi, "Are you racing tonight?"

Hobi rolled his eyes, "It's my turn for flags."

Jimin laughed and Y/N was confused and apparently, it showed, "flags are the flag or makeshift flag that you bring down at the line for the race to start. Unfortunately, Hobi here picked the short straw." you laughed as Hobi grumbled.

"Actually, since I'm not racing tonight I was wondering if you could take a peek under my hood. I don't want Yoongi sniffing around, he'd probably change out a part to help him win."

"Why would some random guy come sniffing around your car?" you asked and the looks you got made you embarrassed by your question.

"Yoongi is Hobi's brother, he runs the races." you made an o shape with your mouth and nodded.

“Adopted brother, but he’s still my hyung.” You could see the underlying affection he had for his older brother despite the normal sibling annoyance.

You turned at the sound of a deep voice carrying over the crowd, "Alright, we've got four racing tonight. Taehyung and Jin just radioed back and the roads are blocked and ready to go. Get your shit and let's roll!" The small crowd cheered and you looked back to see both guys looking excited.

"That's my cue." Jimin gave Hobi a fist bump and turned to give you a hug, "See you at the finish line" he winked and you watched him walk away.

"You ready to see how we live?" Hobi smirked.

"Let's do this." Hobi cheered and you laughed to yourself but followed Hobi as he led the way into the sea of people. You walked through and you saw all the different types of people. You could see why Jimin fit in here.

"Tae! Jin!" Hobi grabbed your hand and dragged you over to two guys.

"Yo!" They both smiled at the guy, "Jimin tells me you drew the short straw tonight."

Hobi gave them both the finger before turning to you, "Y/N this is Tae and Jin, they work here at the garage with my brother."

The guy that looked like he should be on the cover of Vogue shook your hand, "Ravi de vous rencontrer" you gave him a small smile before you dropped his hand. You could see Hobi rolling his eyes.

"We need to go; otherwise Yoongi will start bitching at me." Hobi started walking towards the cars and you followed. Once Hobi broke through the crowd you saw four cars lined up behind a spray-painted line. “I bet he rigged the straw pull so I would have to sit out for this race.” You glanced over at Hobi and laughed.

"Someone say my name?" You looked towards the voice. Your eyes raked over his body. From his stark white hair to the plain gray t-shirt. You could admit to yourself that he was hot.

"Yoongi this is Y/N, Jimin's friend that he’s been talking about." Hobi smiled at his brother.

"Ah, the infamous hermit." You felt your face heat up. "Glad you could join us rebels tonight." Yoongi winked at you and you just raised an eyebrow.

"So, are we ready?" Hobi asked.

"Nah, Jeon showed up bitching about his back.” He glanced at Hobi before continuing, “but serves him right with the way he goes for girls who are spoken for while their guy is here." Yoongi shrugged. "He went inside the shop to lay down." you could see Hobi looking smug, obviously proud of himself.

"Hobi you said you wanted me to look under your hood right?" Jimin was walking towards what you assumed was Hobi's car.

"Wait, why is Jimin checking under your hood? You're here every day. I mean fuck you work here. I could have done it yesterday." Yoongi had his arms crossed.

"Because I'm so close to leaving your ass in the dust, and who knows what you'd pull," Hobi called over his shoulder leaving you alone with Yoongi.

"Nice best friend you have."

"Nice brother you have." you challenged which caused him to raise an eyebrow at you.

"Well aren't you a spitfire."  You rolled your eyes, "So what did Park have to do to drag you out here? Steal your books? Hold your laptop hostage?" you didn't say a word, all you had to say you could express with your middle finger. Yoongi smirked, "Is that an offer?"

You felt your face grow hot and you looked over at Hobi and Jimin, who was already under the hood. "So, when did all of this start?" you found yourself asking.

"What do you mean?" You just twirled your finger around motioning to all the people and cars, "Oh, it’s pretty much been the same group of people for a long time. Park is probably the newest member. Your boy has skills, I'll give him that."

"So, are you racing too?" Yoongi nodded. "So how much is riding on this race anyway?"

Yoongi shrugged, "Not a lot, about three grand."

"Three thousand? As in dollars?" It felt like your eyes had actually bulged out of your head.

"What else would it be in? Monopoly money?" his chuckle irritated you.

"How is that not a lot of money?"

"Races can easily get up to at least eight grand on a good night. I guess I don't really think about it being an obscene amount anymore." you were speechless. Was he out of touch with reality? Because you could never imagine eight thousand dollars not being a lot of money and you came from a very well to do family.

"Alright let's get this over with" a voice behind you made you jump and she saw Jungkook make his way towards his car not even sparing a glance at you, but you could see him limp just a little bit.

Yoongi laughed out loud "You look like shit Jeon."

"Fuck you!" Jungkook got in his car and Yoongi called out to Hobi to round up everyone. You just stood there as everyone started moving towards the lineup.

"Hey stay here, if you have any problems just yell for Tae or Jin" You nodded hearing Hobi yell over at you and you watched Hobi give you a wink from across a few cars as he walked out in front of the cars. He waited until everyone was in their respective cars. It looked like it was going to be Jimin, Jungkook, and Yoongi. You didn't know what to expect but you jumped hearing all the cars start up. Hobi pointed to each car and each revved its engine. You assumed this meant that they were ready.

"Hobi, use your shirts!" You turned and saw that Jin was the one yelling as he stood up in his truck bed. Hobi gave him the finger but took off the button up shirt and held it up. You chewed on your bottom lip, your stomach was doing somersaults. You were nervous and excited all at the same time, you had no idea what to expect. You watched as Hobi raised his shirt over his head using it as a flag. He held it there for a few seconds before bringing it down. He crouched and turned to watch all three cars shoot off the line and down the road. It didn't take long before all three cars were out of sight. Hobi stood up and walked towards you your hair windblown but donning a huge smile on your face.

"Awesome isn't it?" You couldn't help but smile with him. The guy’s energy was contagious.

"So how long does the race normally last?"

Hobi shrugged, "Depends who's driving, but with hyung it's normally about four or five minutes."

Y/N didn't know if that was slow or fast, but it sounded really fast. Your eyes stayed on the street as Hobi explained that the track would loop all the way back around to here so they didn't have to go anywhere. They just had to sit and wait. After a few minutes, Hobi bit his lip and bounced on his feet.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, it's just that normally we start picking up the cones now from the roads so the cops are less likely to get called. Tae asked me to go with him because Jin went to get food because he had the munchies."

"Go ahead, you can go. I'll be fine." You waved him off.

"You sure?" you watched Hobi chew on his bottom lip.

"Yeah. Go." You watched as Hobi gave you a smile and told you that he'd be right back. You just stood there watching for the cars, it felt like forever but you were sure it was just your eagerness to see the end of the race. You watched Jin’s truck pull out onto the road with Hobi sitting on the side.

You were bouncing on your toes the anticipation was killing you. "COPS!" You spun around looking and everyone was splitting up and jumping in cars. You could hear the sirens off in the distant. You didn't have a car, Jimin was your ride and you had absolutely no idea what to do. People were pulling out and you didn't know a single person. Everyone you knew was either racing or gone.

You saw a black car screech to a stop in front of you. The door flew open, "Get in!" before you had time to even make a decision your body was in the car and pulled away fast enough to throw you back against the seat.

You looked over at Yoongi. His face was hard with concentration. Your heart was still pounding in your chest. You never expected cops to show up, yet the adrenaline had you on a high that you had never felt before. You found yourself smiling and eventually found yourself laughing.

Yoongi turned his head to look at you, "You think this is funny?"

You couldn't catch your breath but you were waving your hands and shaking your head no. But your body was betraying you. You couldn't stop the tears from forming in your eyes from laughing. "I'm sorry." you tried to get a grip of your giggles, "I've just never been through anything like that." You were trying to take deep breaths between each attempt talk. "I honestly don't know why I'm laughing."

Yoongi smirked, "It seems the hermit experienced her first adrenaline rush."

Your eyes widen seeing a cop car pulling towards the center of an intersection, "Yoongi!" your hand went to his arm and Yoongi's attention shot back to driving and your breath hitched in your throat as Yoongi whipped his car to the right. The back of his car barely missing the cop car as he shifted and pushed the car even faster straightening them out.

"Y/N you can let go now," Yoongi said through a clenched jaw. You looked at her hand and immediately removed it. He had nail marks on his arm where you were gripping him so tightly.

"I'm so sorry!"

Yoongi laughed, "Its fine. Normally when I get to feel nails digging into me, it's on my back while I'm fucking someone."

You scrunched up your nose at his narcissism, but couldn't ignore the skip in your heartbeat. You leaned back watching Yoongi navigate the streets with ease, but you could still hear the sirens which kept you from getting pulled in at watching Yoongi drive.

"Does this happen every time you guys race?" Yoongi shook his head.

"Nah, I mean it happens every once in a while, but we try to keep it as low profile as we can. Tae and Jin set up traffic cones at some intersections that cross into the route we take. But sometimes the cops come looking, that's why we have radios." He motioned to the one sitting in his cup holder, "If anyone sees the cops coming everyone knows to get out fast. Everyone has their own place they go so they don't follow one another and end up with all of us if they manage to follow us."

You bit your lip, "Has anyone ever been caught?"

Yoongi's mouth thinned. "Namjoon, he um" He cleared his throat, "He flipped his car taking a turn while running. He was okay luckily, but they ended up taking him in. They gave him a deal, he could tell them what he knew about our club and he'd only get six months. He ended up telling them to go fuck themselves which ended with him serving a year." Yoongi was concentrating on the road but you could tell he could probably navigate these roads with his eyes closed. "He gets out in three months."

It made you worry about Jimin racing. You didn't know what you would do if your best friend ended up in jail. Yoongi looked over at you. He didn't say anything but after a moment put his attention back on the road, "If you're worried about Park don't. He's a great racer, probably better than most of the people that have been racing with me for years. He'd be able to ditch them easily. While his car doesn't have as much power as mine it can turn a corner on a pinpoint. It's actually pretty impressive." This made you beam with pride.

"So where exactly are we going?" You had already gotten lost after about the ninth turn.

Yoongi smirked, "We're almost there."

You looked out the window. You had been driving around for about a half hour and managed to get far enough to where they no longer heard sirens about fifteen minutes ago. You weren’t sure just how far the location he chose was. Your ears perked up once you heard the crunch of gravel under the tires. "Seriously where are-" your question was cut off when you saw his headlights shining over a lake. "This is where you go?" you looked over at him and you watched him shrug as he came to a stop and turned the car off. He unbuckled the seatbelt and got out of the car. You followed and had your hands wrapped around you as you walked towards the water. The moon was reflecting on the water. You really wanted to take a picture of it with your camera because the scenery was absolutely beautiful.

"You know I've come out here quite a few times and I've never met a single soul. I like to think this means that no one knows about it." You watched as Yoongi walked over to an old picnic table and sat on the table propping his feet on the bench. He waved you over, "Come on we've got some time to kill before we meet back up."

You walked over and sat on the table. You barely knew this guy and here you were in the middle of the night by a lake. Like that wasn't weird or anything, but you didn't feel any uneasiness. You actually felt very comfortable around Yoongi. "So, what got you into racing?" you looked over at him. His elbows were resting on his knees as he looked away.

"Sorry, you don't have to answer that." Your cheeks flushed in embarrassment of possibly crossing the line with someone you just met.

Yoongi was shaking his head, "No it's alright." He cleared his throat and sat up resting back on his hands. "So, I've known Namjoon all my life, he lived right down the street from me and Hobi. It wasn't exactly the best neighborhood and after a few fights, Namjoon’s dad started inviting me over. He would have both me and Namjoon working on cars with him until it got dark. It kept us out of trouble and me and Hoseok didn't exactly have a father figure. Eventually, he started tagging along once my mom picked up her second job. So, all three of us would be over there and he would teach us everything he knew about cars." Yoongi smiled, "He always loved the fact that Hobi constantly kept the mood happy and bright. But the three of us never outgrew our love for cars, even after Namjoon’s dad taught us everything he knew. We all took auto shop in high school and it was a joke because we had already learned everything they were trying to teach us. When it came time to start thinking about college's we knew our mom couldn't afford to send us. A cousin had told Namjoon about racing and how his brother made decent money. So Namjoon and I started building a car together while we worked full time that summer, I gave my mom what I could to help but the rest went to parts. We built that car from the ground up and by the end of the summer we were finally able to race."

You were completely engrossed in his story, "So I'm assuming you won your first race."

Yoongi laughed, "Oh hell no, the engine stalled after the fourth turn. We had to roll the car home." He looked over at you, "But we learned what worked and what didn't. Eventually, we started winning and each time we won Namjoon would refuse his share, he told me to put it towards Hoseok’s college fund. My mom never found out, she thought we both got great scholarships." You couldn't help but smile with him. "I managed to get a semester out from graduating before I dropped out."

"Why?" You weren’t expecting that.

"Namjoon’s dad got really sick and Namjoon was still in college and was on an actual scholarship. His dad needed help in the shop and I knew he wouldn't ask any of us. So, I told him I graduated early and that I'd help him in the shop until I found a job. This man single-handedly made sure that both Hoseok and I stayed out of trouble and brought us into his family, and you don't walk away from family. So, I started working there full time. The pay wasn't an issue, I made enough racing that it covered whatever his dad couldn't afford. Eventually, he got too sick to come in, so I took over until Namjoon graduated." Yoongi shrugged, "I never really thought twice about my decisions. Eventually, his dad passed and Namjoon got the shop, I guess even though things changed I didn't. I never left and went back to school. I stayed and helped Namjoon run the shop and once Namjoon got arrested he asked me to take over until he got out."

"So does Hobi work at the shop?"

Yoongi nodded, "Yeah, he works there when he's on breaks and sometimes during the week."

You smiled, “I guess a family that races together stays together."

"Eh, kinda. I never wanted Hoseok to start racing, I did everything I could to make sure he never had to."

"Are you still helping pay for his schooling?"

Yoongi shook his head chuckling, "No, he pays for it all on his own. We fought for the longest time about him racing. He'd come with me so I guess part of it is my fault; I mean I introduced him to all of it. He has an actual scholarship now; he races because he wants to. We fought for months about it; I wanted him to concentrate on school. Eventually, he told me he was going to race and it could either be with our group or he'd go find another. I knew he'd be safer with me than anywhere else, so he races and I get to deal with his smug smile every time he wins." Yoongi leaned up and brushed his hands off on his jeans, "What about you? You're practically the exact opposite of Jimin from everything I hear. How did you two end up roommates?"

You laughed, "That's actually a funny story."

"Go on." He motioned her with his hand.

You rolled your eyes, "So I applied out here in my senior year of high school because I wanted to get as far away from my mother as possible. So, freshmen year I get assigned my dorm room and I get Jimin's cousin as my roommate. We hated each other, I wanted to concentrate on my studies and she wanted to do every possible thing she could to drive me insane. Anyways, we both start dating around the same time; things get easier because we're never there at the same time." You glanced over to see if he was still listening. He seemed genuinely interested in your story, so you continued. "This goes on for almost our whole freshmen year until eventually his cousin is kicking him out of his room and he’s forced to bunk with me because he had nowhere to go. As time went on we ended up getting along closer and getting more personal with our talks. We're two months out from summer break and come to find out me and his cousin have been dating the same guy who happened to be Jimin’s roommate. I had never been to my boyfriend’s dorm so I never knew who his roommate was and when we did talk he always referred to Jimin as his roommate."

Yoongi started laughing, "You and Park didn’t realize this from the beginning? Wow, now I get why you two are so close."

You stuck your tongue out at him, "Jimin basically ended up being my roommate because I guess his cousin didn’t care about the cheating and refused to give Jimin his dorm back. He helped me heal my broken heart and practically disowned his cousin for being a dumbass and being a bitch about the whole thing. I almost told the guy I was pregnant just to make him suffer a bit.”

Yoongi groans, "oh my god." His face goes into his hands, "I know the guy is an asshole but damn, that's brutal." But you could tell he was having a hard time not laughing.

"Well, I didn’t do it!."

He shook his head, "Girls are crazy, like batshit fucking crazy."

"Careful, you're out here with a crazy girl in the middle of the night with no one in sight with a lake to toss a body in." You raised an eyebrow at him.

He leaned closer, "I'd love to see you try."

You continued to talk until Yoongi checked his phone. You could see his mouth frown in the glow of his phone screen. "I think we're good to head back now, I'll drop you off at your house."

"Okay." Yoongi helped you off the table and you got into the passenger seat while Yoongi held the door for you. He came around and got in starting the car.

"I think Park is going to kill me." You were about to ask why when your eyes fell on the time glowing from his dashboard. You had been out there for almost three hours.

"I think you're right." You ran your hands over your pockets, "Shit. I don't have my phone."

"I know." Yoongi looked at you and you groaned.

"I'm so sorry! I promise I'll shield your body if he comes out waving a knife." Yoongi laughed and you shot him a glare.

"I'm sorry but I just can't imagine you taking on Park." you raised an eyebrow, "What? I've seen Jimin lay out a guy double his size because he leaned on his car." You couldn't help but laugh.

It took about ten minutes until he pulled up to the small house you and Jimin shared. You heard Yoongi groan, "What?" He pointed to the car parked on the street.

"That's my brother’s car and I don't feel like facing the Spanish Inquisition. So, I think I'm going to do the most un-gentlemanly thing I've ever done and tell you goodnight from the safety of my own car."

"Oh, that's fair; send me in there all by myself."

"Exactly."

You rolled your eyes but you opened the door and got out. You almost closed the door but stopped and bent your head down so you could see him, "Thanks for saving me tonight, I actually enjoyed myself."

Yoongi leaned over into the passenger seat and looked up at you, "So does that mean we'll see you again?"

You bit your lip and smiled, "Possibly." Yoongi raised an eyebrow but smirked at you which caused you to roll your eyes, "Goodnight Yoongi."

"Goodnight Y/N." You closed the door and walked up the rest of the driveway and turned the doorknob and walked in. You saw two flashes of black hair and a pair of eyes glaring at you and Jimin was up and rushing at you before you could move.

"Where the hell have you been!? I called you a million times! I thought something happened to you!" Jimin was swatting at you over and over again as he talked.

"Ow ow ow! Calm down! I didn't have my phone!" You were rubbing her arms; you forgot how hard Jimin could hit.

"Yes, I noticed once I heard the buzzing on my floorboard!"

"I'm sorry okay! Yoongi stopped and picked me up." You really did feel bad about making your best friend worry. Jimin hadn't even popped into your mind once the car had stopped which didn't make you feel any better.

"That doesn't take three hours Y/N!" You could see that Jimin was slowly losing steam which was a small victory.

"In my defense, it took like a half hour to get to the lake."

"No, it doesn't." You looked at Hobi sitting at the table with his foot propped up on the chair, "It takes like ten minutes to get to the lake from the shop."

Jimin spun around to look at Hobi "You knew he was there?" he yelled.

Hobi shook his head, "No, I knew he had her. But we don't tell each other where we go. We don't want the other one to come in trying to be the hero" he shrugged.

"Then why did it take thirty minutes?" You were so confused.

Hobi smirked as he took a drink from his glass, "It seems to me he wanted an excuse to spend time with you."

AN: This has been sitting around for a while and I felt like finishing it up quickly because who doesn’t like the thought of a racer!Yoongi. Hopefully, you enjoy this as much as I did writing it. It hasn’t been looked over to look for mistakes because my fingers are tired and I still have to write tags lol.

#yoonkooknetwork #taegikooknet #btsguild #bangtanarmynet #thekpopnetwork #kpopwonderlandtag #prettyboysnetwork #ultkpop #bts #bts fanfic #bts smut #bangtan sonyeondan #bts x reader #yoonkook #jungkook #jimin #v #jin #jhope #rm #suga #min yoongi #bts yoongi #bts suga #yoongi fanfic #yoongi x reader #yoongi smut #suga smut #suga fanfic #suga x reader

[skys813]

Discovery

Chapter 5 (Arc Finale)

Me: Before we start, is there anything you'd like to say, Anxiety?

Anxiety: *gives me a hard look and then looks away* No.

Me: I see. Let's begin, then. Over the past couple of weeks we've been struggling to deal with a new possibility. I'm aware that in every happy reality Research conjured for us we were in a romantic relationship with implied sexual undertones. The new possibility suggests that we don't find a romantic or sexual partner in the future. Up until now it's only been a vague suggestion, however, after further examination, I thought it would be best to bring it to the council's attention as a legitimate possible plan for the future.

Anxiety: I don't see why this is relevant given that Sexuality is obviously a lesbian. Haven't we been over this already?

Me: Actually, we haven't. That was a suggestion you made, not a fact of life. Which brings us to our first issue; determining Sexuality's true orientation. I'd like to bring some memories to the front if you don't mind. Let's start with a few questions I asked after I first learned what sex was. "Do I have to? Can I be married without doing it? Can I have kids without doing it?" Our first reaction was aversion. Of course, that's normal at the beginning, but those feelings never went away. Instead, it changed to reluctant acceptance that this is what would happen to us. The truth is that we never felt sexual attraction towards anyone, regardless of their gender. We knew instinctively we wouldn't like sex in any form, but we pushed the feeling down and convinced ourselves that it'd be fine and we'd just have to do this for love.

Love: Is that not true? The only lifelong bond that allows us to be as invested and dedicated as we wish to be is a romantic one. Friendship can be strong, but it's not the same, Sky. We would not be prioritized the same way, you can't expect that of someone. If they have a romantic relationship with someone else, they have to prioritize that person above you, regardless of how close you get. Only a romantic bond guarantees you that level of trust and faith in each other. The exclusivity.

Me: I understand and accept that we wouldn't always be prioritized above the person's romantic relationship, but the rest is simply not true. It's possible. Research, if you'd be a dear, and pull up the definitions of a Queerplatonic Relationship and a Zucchini.

Research: A Queerplatonic relationship is defined as "a committed relationship that is neither romantic nor sexual in nature but is based on an emotional bond beyond friendship, often between aromantic and/or asexual people" (AVEN, General FAQ, Definitions). "A zucchini is a partner in a queerplatonic relationship. The commitment level between partners is often considered to be similar to that of a romantic relationship, but with platonic love. Zucchinis may be of any romantic or sexual orientation" (AVENwiki).

Me: Thank you, darling. As you can see, it's entirely possible. In fact, it's so possible and has been felt and established by enough people that there are terms to describe the relationship we want. That's what we were looking for all these years, not some romantic relationship, much less a sexual one.

Anxiety: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you've only proven sexuality is ace. Romance has been on board waiting for Prince to show up since day one. And we already agreed that Sexuality's orientation would be irrelevant to us in such a scenario as we would want him to be fully satisfied in the relationship.

Me: Romance hasn't actually been very vocal about her desires, she's been going along with whatever you and Research determined would be the best scenario. Again, let's pull up some memory files. First, there was her "crush," which she picked out for us much like one would pick out fruit at a stand, and is also a shared experience among other aromantics. We were never jealous of his relationship with our best friend or hurt by it, but instead helped them with arguments and were happy for them when they were happy. She shies away from any possible romantic partners under the guise of obeying our parents and religion when we all know full well we're stubborn and reckless enough that if we had ever desired such a relationship we would've acted on it by now. But we haven't.

Anxiety: Because no one has been worth the risk! We just haven't had the chance to meet the right person and it was never the right time before. We were too young.

Me: No one? When was the last time you saw Romance actually consider anyone as a potential partner?

Anxiety: That's because we're waiting for Prince, no one else is worth considering.

Me: That makes no sense and you know it. We can't find him if we never look. And Romance isn't interested enough to look in the first place. The fact of the matter is that she hasn't been active since we finally settled comfortably in our relationship. We might not use fancy terminology, but that's the nature of the bond we established with our best friend. The meaning we agreed upon for the relationship is the same as the one listed for queerplatonic relationships.

Anxiety: It's just too risky, it's irresponsible to put all your eggs in one basket like that. Friendships are fragile and fleeting-

Me: So is every other relationship. Friendships are not less than other bonds, they're equal and valid and they are what you make them. I believe in this one.

Anxiety: Fine. Don't listen to reason, whatever. But you might want to consider Love's needs and that certain aspects of our dreams would be off the table right off the bat if we went along with this madness, such as children and the home life we were so desperate to create one day. That's a dream you can't deny. You can't adopt children in a platonic relationship, so unless you plan on being a hypocrite and going out to have sex, praying not to catch an STD, and hoping to get pregnant that way, children would be completely off the table for us.

Me: First of all, it wouldn't be hypocritical, asexual people can have sex. But I do agree that that option is extremely unappealing all around. However, it wouldn't be as big a deal as you're making it out to be. Our motherly instincts can still be fulfilled if we add the found family element; we'd build a group of friends and mother them just like we used to. Love, how do you feel about that?

Love: I want children. We've always wanted children, I can't let go of that dream overnight. Mothering some friends isn't the same, I don't know if it'll be enough. I can agree to build new visions and scrap the old ones and incorporate Sexuality and Romance's identities, but you can't ever expect me to stop wanting children. I'm sorry.

Me: Don't be, it's who you are. Thank you for being so understanding. Research, what do you think?

Research: To be absolutely frank with you, I'm glad this is who we are. No husband to tie us down, fewer responsibilities, financial independence. It spells out a lot of opportunities to explore the world that we might not have had otherwise. And, no offense, Love, but children are expensive as hell. Our horizons just quadrupled without that financial and emotional burden. I vote yes.

*an awkward pause where Anxiety fumes on the side and refuses to say anything*

Me: .......Anxiety?

Anxiety: I'm the one who played the dreams. Are you happy now? You were right all along, and I was wrong. We're aro ace.

Me: I know.

Anxiety: *head snaps up* What?! You knew? How? And how long have you known? Why didn't you say anything?

Me: I think the meeting's done now, let's continue this privately. Love, Research, please act according to the council's decision and inform everyone of the verdict. Thank you. Anxiety, walk with me, darling.

Then.....

Sexuality blinks sleepy eyes open and looks around. Someone is by her bedside that she's only ever seen from afar. She tentatively lifts her hand and runs her fingers through Libido's hair. Her birthmate. What was she doing here? Libido stirs and murmurs something incoherent in her sleep before slowly opening her eyes to look back at Sexuality. Libido smiles softly.

Libido: You're finally awake. *jerks up frantically* Oh shit, you're awake! Oh my God, how're you feeling? Are you okay? Does anything hurt? Who do you want me to get for you? Do you want some water? Of course you want some water, what am I thinking-

Sexuality grabs Libido's sleeve as she makes to get up. Libido looks back, concerned and on the verge of panic. Sexuality shakes her head and tugs Libido back to her side.

Libido: Are you sure you don't want me to get you some food and water? You've been out of it for a while.

Sexuality shakes her head again and tugs Libido back down into her chair.

Libido: Okay, then. Um. Let's see, how do you usually communicate with Romance?

Sexuality: *gestures in sign language*

Libido: Oh, yeah, that makes sense. I don't know any signs though. Do you want me to get Research? They might be able to translate. Actually, they'll know what to do about all of this and what you need and-

Sexuality grabs and squeezes Libido's hand and she falls silent. Sexuality smiles briefly and shuts her eyes.

Libido: Oh. You're tired, yeah, that makes sense, too. Sorry about all that. Go back to sleep, sweetie. I'll notify the others when you're ready.

It was a while later before Libido realized that Sexuality had been fully aware and responsive during those few minutes without throwing up. On top of that, she'd made contact with Libido without any noticeable harm befalling her. Sexuality was, at long last, fully recovered.

Meanwhile.....

I walk with Anxiety down to his room. It resembles a library, but instead of books, there are notebooks, each and every one of them filled to the brim with scribbles and half-finished thoughts.

Anxiety: Welcome to my lair, oh annoying one. Have a seat.

Me: I think we need to discuss why you're so against us being aro ace.

Anxiety: I already made it very clear-

Me: The real reason, Anxiety.

Anxiety glowers at me for a few minutes. I don't look away and he finally backs down grudgingly.

Anxiety: *sigh* Do you remember what we were like when we were a kid? What we thought of ourself?

Me: How can I forget? I was the brattiest, most arrogant child I've ever had the displeasure of having to think about.

Anxiety: *shakes his head* I mean before Prince, specifically. We were in a low place and we had accepted that we would die old, bitter, and alone. I just don't want us to go back to that again. It was devastating enough the first time around for all of us. At least like this, it would've only hurt Sexuality and Romance.

Me: Anxiety, listen to me. We are not who we were five years ago. That vision of the future was built on self-hatred and hopelessness, that's why it looked like a doomsday vision. This time we're rebuilding to take care of ourself and every aspect of who we are. We don't have to sacrifice Sexuality and Romance to be happy. We can just build a future that makes all of us happy by accommodating them too. We would've never been happy if we'd tried to suppress them.

Anxiety: *shakes his head stubbornly* We can revert right back to where we were, not enough has changed, not nearly enough. I've just collected more reasons to hate ourself since then, there's no guarantee it won't happen.

Me: *eyes sharp, trying to casually scan the notebooks* There is one thing we could always do..... If you'd allow us, I mean.

Anxiety: *torn between hope and trepidation* Like what exactly?

Me: Burn them.

Anxiety: *stands up and positions himself between me and the nearest shelf* Get out. Get out right now!

Me: *stays seated calmly with my eyes fixed on his* Only the notebooks where you write all our faults. The memories would all stay intact. All your other notebooks would stay exactly where they are. I'm only suggesting we let go of the guilt. Those notebooks are as old as I am, cataloging every tiny mistake we've ever made, every embarrassing thing we've ever done, every regret. You're absolutely right, we can't move forward until we've let go of all of that. We have to move forward, Anxiety. The council has come to a decision. Something has to give or we really might revert back to what we were before.

Anxiety: Then we would've learned nothing! Do you want to repeat all the mistakes we've made?

Me: A gentle reminder that you're the reason we made some of the more serious mistakes.

Anxiety: Don't you think I know that? That's why I refuse to let go of them. If we never forget, if we never stop regretting them and feeling guilty for them, then we'll make up for it and we'll never do those things again.

Me: Darling, that's ridiculous. You do realize that you've written down things as small as chopping the wrong vegetable by accident at our job, right? And the serious errors in judgment are almost all from our childhood, from years ago. We've grown, we've changed, and we're past that now. We can't stay this way forever, hating ourselves for every tiny inconvenience we've ever caused anyone. Please, Anxiety, we have to burn those notebooks.

Anxiety: No. You don't understand. We can't! No! *clutches at his head and his breathing becomes shallow and rapid* I can't. You can't. I can't.

Me: Anxiety? *gets up slowly* Are you okay?

Anxiety: No! We can't! We'll never be good enough. We'll never be happy. You can't erase the past. We're horrible, can't you see that? So horrible. Horrible. Horrible!

I notice a smoky shape formed behind Anxiety, whispering in his ear and grinning at me. The time for conversation is over. I carefully sidestep Anxiety who is too wrapped up in his sobbing to notice my movement and try to punch at the shadow. My hand goes right through it. Right, then. Those notebooks need to burn. Now. I step behind them slowly. The creature turns to watch me but continues whispering to Anxiety. I reach for a random notebook to test out the waters. No reaction besides a widening smirk. Good. I quickly scan through the notebooks until I find the section I need before looking up again. The shadow is still, watching me with a contemplative frown while Anxiety drops to hug his knees and hide his face as he cries. I collect the notebooks loosely in my arms, carefully noting how tense the shadow is getting. It stands between me and the door. I had a feeling it would find a way to stop me if it wanted to, smoke or not. I edge my way back to the table and set the notebooks down. The creature relaxes. I sit down and pretended to start reading one. After a few moments, it loses interest in me and goes back to tormenting Anxiety. It starts to whisper faster, progressively more aggressive. When it looks to be distracted enough, I grab the notebooks and run. I hear a shriek of anger not long after but it doesn't follow me. I run and run until I reach the common room and dump the notebooks on the floor.

Me: Research, get over here! I need lighter fuel! Love, if you could grab a lighter for me, that'd be great! Now!

They get up from the couch without a word and go about getting the requested items as I start tearing the notebooks apart. By the time they get back, I've torn haphazardly through the notebooks and stacked them in a hollow pyramid shape. Research douses them all and I give Love a handful of paper to light before I carefully place them under the rest and watch the fire spread. Anxiety rushes into the room with a much-faded version of the shadow I'd seen behind him, but by then even the topmost of the pyramid had caught fire. The creature shrieks and Anxiety faints into Research's arms.

Research: *sighs* I should've known something like this would happen. I'll take him to the infirmary.

Love: What just happened? Who's Research taking to the infirmary and what did we just set on fire?

Me: Don't worry, Love, everything's going to be okay now. C'mon, let's sit down and I'll tell you everything.

Then.....

Romance jerks awake gasping and clutching at her neck and chest and starts coughing. Sensuality rushes into her room and gives her a crushing hug.

Sensuality: You're alive! You're awake! Oh thank God, I won't be left with just Aesthetic for company!

Aesthetic: Hey! I can hear you, you know. And good grief, get off her before you really kill her. Welcome back, Romance. How're you feeling?

Romance: *gestures for water*

Sensuality: I got you, just a second. *runs out of the room*

Aesthetic: *hands Romance her board and marker* Figured you'd have a lot to say after being out of it for so long. Wanna elaborate on the whole "help Anxiety" message you left? Cause it really didn't help, for the record. What'd you want us to do, tie you and Sexuality up and dump you in the basement for him?

Romance rolls her eyes as Sensuality comes back in and accepts a glass of water with a quick nod of thanks. She downs the whole glass in three giant gulps and sets it down before relaxing back against her pillows a bit. She starts writing.

You're both idiots, for the record. I bet you didn't even try to figure out what I meant, just sat around worrying as usual. It's alright, someone must've figured it out since I'm awake now. We'll all hear the story in detail, I'm sure. Right now, though, I'd much rather discuss Sexuality. Is she okay?

Sensuality: Well......I mean, she's definitely safe now, we made sure of it, right Aesthetic?

Aesthetic: *nods her head with a smile* Don't worry, Romance, we took care of our little sister. She's safe.

Romance: *relaxes a bit more*

Good. At least you did something right. Who's guarding her? Libido, right?

Sensuality: *shocked* Yeah, actually, how'd you know? I thought you'd be upset.

Romance: *smiles* *writes*

They were never meant to be apart. They're different, but they're still birthmates. You know how strong that bond is. They'll figure it out. They just need time. We all do.