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somehow-a-human · 1 month

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The ineffables fell in love, and God & Satan decided to make a bet on true love.

DO NOT ASK NEIL ABOUT FAN THEORY

Okay so, this is kind of a crack theory. But if this blog is for anything, it's for divulging my crack theories, and not feeling bad about it. My other blog is where I act like a properly sane person.

I have had a lot of nebulous thoughts that led to this theory but there was one bit of dialogue that tied it all together for me, that we will discuss at the very end. I'm going to start by laying out each of my *Clues* for you below, and we'll tie all my threads together by the end. Shall we begin?

Sanctuary Lights

Warlock, Adam, and most interestingly Maggie all have a single red light displayed on their right hand side of their "rooms". The symbolism of the right hand side implies the sacred, good, right, and stable. It's also where we find Aziraphale in reference to Crowley when they are balance and harmonious, Aziraphale is on Crowley's right.

A sanctuary light, is a light that shines before the altar of sanctuaries in many jewish and christian places of worship. A lit Sanctuary Lamp signifies the presence of God in the tabernacle that contains the Eucharist, and are traditionally red.

It's interesting that these three characters are linked via this specific visual. The assumed anti-christ, the actual anti-christ, and the local record shop owner? All of whom were somewhat under the watchful eyes of Crowley and Aziraphale at some point, but more-so Aziraphale. The right hand sidedness of the lights is initially confusing as you might expect Adam's to be on the left given he is the son of Satan, but we do know at the end of season one that he isn't good or bad, but rather, very human. What is this telling us about Maggie? I am a "Greasy Johnson is Jesus" truther but my mind wanted to go, "Oh maybe Maggie is Jesus!"

Aziraphale & Crowley's Angelic Playlist

Not Aziraphale and Crowley's Earthly Playlist, no no no, their Angelic Playlist.

These songs definitely tell a story. They are full of heartbreak, and longing, misunderstanding and disagreement, all while flowing with an undertow of deep love. And don't even get me started on The Book of Love. I have loved that song for so long and when I saw that was one of Neil's 3 picks for this playlist I did tear up a bit.

These songs no doubt illustrate the final 15 minutes. Aziraphale wants to leave, he needs to go to heaven to fix things, to protect humanity, and Crowley is hurt, he wants Aziraphale to run away with him. But, could they also mirror something else? Could they mirror Crowley and Aziraphale's disagreement before the Great War and the Fall? I mean it is their Angelic playlist afterall. It could have very easily been their any-other-adjective playlist.

In the Before the beginning scene we are shown, Angel!Crowley wants to stand up for the universe, and protect his creations, and Aziraphale wants to put his head down and hide. Angel!Crowley tried to do what he thought was right, and it resulted in a boiling pool of sulphur. He doesn't think Aziraphale can succeed at what he has already failed to do. This time, Aziraphale is the one who wants to stand up to Heaven and protect creation and humanity, and Crowley knows what that looks like, so he just wants to run and keep Aziraphale safe.

Maybe that's why the final fifteen hurts so much, even if they might not remember it well, because maybe they've been through this before, before the beginning.

Magic shop Ventriloquist Dummies

Do you see the resemblance here? I really wish we could read their name tags clearly, I feel like that would give us a ton of information, and with time, hopefully we'll get that opportunity. And we do have information that each doll is named and they apparently had enough information for each of them and their dress that it warranted a spreadsheet so it must've been detailed and important. You can read that in this tweet from Mickey Ralph's twitter:

From Mickey Ralph, Good Omens graphic designer's twitter: "I need a list of all the dummies and their names with as much information as possible for each of them. I think it would be best to have a photo of each of them and establish some kind of spreadsheet so that we can make sure the dressers put the right names on the right dummies"

It has been vaguely stated the likenesses of the dolls was not purposeful here:

But I'd like to posit a guess that maybe this answer just means they didn't create the dolls to look like A & C, but maybe found ones that looked like them.

Do the dolls mimic the hierarchy of God and heaven? Why are there two Crowley's? Why is Muriel so far up? Was she a high ranking angel before she was possibly demoted and became a 37th order scrivner?

@noneorother has a more in depth analysis of the puppets here, if you'd like to read their take.

"Enough to Make you Believe in True Love?"

This dialogue is what set off the chain reaction that led to my ultimately writing this post. Don't remember this quote? It's easy to miss and seemingly unimportant. Just after Gabriel recovers his memories and Shax accuses Beelzebub of being a traitor we get this:

Beelzebub: "I didn't collaborate with Heaven, anymore than Gabriel collaborated with Hell. I just found something that mattered more to me than choosing sides" Maggie: "That's really sweet" Nina: "Enough to make you believe in true love?"

Maggie and Nina who are still in the bookshop and watching these events unfold have been silent, but finally share these two lines. And I finally noticed, it's kind of a weird thing for Nina to say to Maggie, no? Why wouldn't Maggie believe in true love? Why does Nina think Maggie wouldn't believe in true love? We've seen Maggie pining over Nina and saying she's in love with her earlier in the season so why might a romantic who's never even talked to the woman she claims to be in love with not believe in true love, and why might her and Nina have discussed that before?

Is this little aside a conversation really being had by Nina and Maggie?

The Job Bet

That's why he's perfect for the bet! This is the final piece to my puzzle before I wrap up my ramblings and try to coherently tell you how they fit together. God and Satan make a bet, to see if Job is really truly righteous, and loves God, even if She takes away everything she's given him. They aren't above making bets about their creations, and taking everything away from them, testing them to destruction.

Conclusion

Let me weave you a web... The Starmaker, and Aziraphale meet in what we see is the first scene of season two. Maybe in the time before the fall they become close, and fall in love. Angels shouldn't have free will so that shouldn't be possible right? God and Lucifer!Satan? (maybe?) take notice and talk about it, maybe how they did with Job? Maybe they disagree about true love. Maybe God insists that in the ineffable plan, Crowley and Aziraphale will always end up together no matter what. Satan disagrees, they can be driven apart. They make a deal, a bet. The fall is inevitable, its ineffable, so they ensure Crowley and Aziraphale end up on either side of the factions, God lets Satan destroy everything they have, and then they'll see...

Fast forward to The Great War, the Starmaker doesn't really want to rebel like the other angels but gets swept up on their side of things, on the losing side, maybe with a bit of divine or demonic intervention. All he ever did was ask questions! He and Aziraphale are separated. Later, the Serpent of Eden slithers up next to the Angel of the Eastern Gate and strikes up a conversation. They don't remember each other, maybe a vague impression of familiarity, but the demon can't help but be drawn to the angel.

God and Satan we now know must chat about the goings on of Earth, making bets about Job and all that. That's at least my possible explanation for why Nina and Maggie have those weird lines during the Ineffable Bureaucracy reveal. Maybe God and Satan popped in to check on their bet and see what was happening with their stupid free wheeling creations?

Despite everything Aziraphale and Crowley are still together after all this time, and they do love each other. But they can always continue to be tested, even to destruction, or so they may believe.

Hey look, I'm not saying any of this is at all accurate but it was fun to come up with hehe.

#good omens #good omens meta #good omens 2 #crowley x aziraphale #good omens theories #crowley #michael sheen #aziraphale #david tennant #good omens clues #good omens theory #good omens clue #good omens crack theory #you dont have to take this seriously #like at all i wont be disappointed #but it was fun to write

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nightshadehoney · 4 months

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I never watched James Somerton's shitty Killing Stalking video because I was trying to be good to myself and avoid something that I knew would make me very angry. In fact, I never watched any of his stuff because the fact that he made a video like that was enough to discount any thing he ever had to say (also I heard about the Celluloid Closet plagiarism).

But man, is the James Somerton discourse bringing a lot of Killing Stalking-related feelings back up for me. Because I'm mad; I'm still so mad. There are a suprising amount of people on social media who are saying they never watched any of his stuff except for the Killing Stalking video. I'm annoyed not just to find out that the vid had that sort of reach and influence, but also because Somerton's unmasking hasn't seemed to make people reasses the validity of the kind of thing he was saying. People are just now being like "hmm I think this guy might have Issues With Women" but that doesn't warrant any reflection on what exactly the motivation is of people who complain about women enjoying a niche webcomic? Because I don't actually believe you're concerned about the influence of some obscure piece of media when you advertise its existence to your large audience many of whom had not heard of it and would never have heard of it but for your transparent outrage porn video. It's rage bait and the target was women that are perceived as straight. A big channel has publicized the fact that they excised a section that endorsed the opinions in this video from their own because they became aware of Somerton's plagiarism and dishonesty (presumably; if it was actually because they recognized his views were coming from a sexist place I would welcome a clarification). And you know, I don't think that's a good look actually. That you needed to be told he was a bad person and couldn't idependently put together that the misogynist man was saying misogynist things.

The comic ended years ago and the fandom has gone mostly quiet, but to this day people are still the peddling the"fujoshi/stupid teenage girls who don't know what's good for them are shipping these characters because they are too braindead to realize it's not a romance; it's a horror, two things I believe are mutually exclusive. I am smarter than all of these cringe degenerates" bullshit. It's in the comments of the hbomberguy video even; one comment was such a gross misrepresentation of the series that my friend needed to talk me down from getting into a pointless youtube comments argument (bless him) because these people are officially making me lose my marbles.

This narrative is full of shit, it's demonstrably not fucking true. You can go on the artist's twitter right now and its full of her retweeting shippy fanart of that pairing readers were apparently never intended to ship.

(I don't think Koogi knows or cares about James Somerton; she just reblogs the works of fans who tag her. This made me laugh though).

Now this is all speculation because he died decades before social media existed, but I think if Nabokov was alive today his twitter would not be full of Humbert Humbert x Dolores Haze fanart. And yet, I have unironically seen people compare shipping Sangwoo and Bum in Killing Stalking with the misreading of Lolita as a precocious sexual temptress more than once.

And this isn't me saying that Killing Stalking is the disgusting"pro-sexualized abuse" comic that tumblr purity police used to characterize it as either. One of these days I'm going to go truly bonkers and end up banging pots and pans on the street corner, yelling at random innocent passerbys about how stories about romantic and sexual relationships are not required to be Hallmark movies. You can make art about the negative, dark, and troubling parts of these feelings and relationships without creating a pat morality tale. You don't need to approach media analysis like your 7th grade teacher has assigned you an essay on explaining what a novel's "message" is.

Nobody, not the author and not the fans, genuinely thinks that Sangwoo and Bum have a healthy or aspirational relationship. This hypothetical person that does not understand the relationship is toxic doesn't exist. Because girls and women, even the ones having cringey fandom fun on tiktok or whatever, are not so stupid and naive that they are unware that breaking someone's legs and locking them in a muder basement is bad. The type of concern troll rhetoric Somerton employed in his video is directed near exclusively at women interested in men and there's a reason for this. Women are not responsible for abuse that men do to them; nobody is responsible for their partner abusing them. If I never saw people spit this bullshit again it would be too soon.

#this is not usually the kind of post I make here because I really try to make this tumblr a positive mental space for me but ffs #james somerton #killing stalking

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ashes-writing · 2 years

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more than a feeling | stranger things ; e. munson

A/N; I know I keep saying I'm going to do an actual OC based fic for both Eddie and Steve but first... This is just a cute little thing I wrote in the heat of the moment that's somehow got comedy, angst, mutual pining and a bit of friendly fluff in it. I could be talked into writing a few more parts to this if people wanted to see that, but for now, this is all I got babes.

(If you want more you're gonna have to tell me, otherwise this is just a one off thing) Also, fuck yes this is named after a Boston song, fiiight meee Also yes.. yes this is inspired by a scene from the movie Varsity Blues. I watched it and kind of got the idea for this entire weird thing based solely off of the scene, idk you try and figure out how my mind works cos I have yet to....

The dual OC fic is still in the works, I'm just not posting it until I'm absolutely sure I have a direction in mind. For now, have this.

Pairing ; New girl!Reader x Eddie Munson - friendship ... for the time being.

Summary ; You've never stayed in one place very long. When your mom goes to rehab (alcohol related ) and you find yourself staying with your grandmother in Hawkins, you're pretty sure you won't be there long enough to warrant getting to know anybody. Will a certain so-called freak prove the theory wrong?

Warnings ; slang terms for penis, sarcasm and swearing, the word slut is thrown around a time or two, high school bullying, mentions of a mother in rehab / alcoholism and for now, thats it.

Timeline ; season 4 -with no Upside down or death bs.

Tag List ; @rampagewriting likes Eddie so yeah... There isn't anybody else on my actual taglist, if you'd like to be either tell me or add yourself to the doc linked below.

Other Stuff ; tag list || rules - fandoms and some of the characters I write for || requests ; open - headcanons + nsfw/sfw alphabet letters for any fandom I write for excluding pro wrestling

I do not consent to having my work posted elsewhere. I also don't consent to having my work reworded/copied and reposted here. Reblogs and likes are peachy though, those make my lil heart happy.

The door to the classroom opens and you slink in, shoving your schedule onto the desk belonging to your new homeroom teacher at the front of the room.

As you stand there and wait for the teacher to note your name in her gradebook, your eyes dart around the classroom and you’re careful not to let them linger on any certain person for longer than a second or two. That is, you’re careful not to let your eyes linger until they settle on a lanky boy with long brown hair seated in the back of the classroom. As your eyes get lost in the doe eyes belonging to the boy in question, your breath catches in your throat. With your tongue sticking out at him because he’s staring right back, you abruptly tear your eyes off of him and let them settle on your favorite pair of scuffed black leather boots.

“Class, we have a new student joining us today.” the teacher glances at you but you don't offer up the fact that you've just moved to Hawkins from Brooklyn. It's not important, after all. It's not like you're gonna be here long.

And so begin the cliche introductions.. Where you stand in front of your classmates and let them gawk for an obscenely awkward amount of time. If ever you wanted a portal to open up and suck you down, this would indeed be one of those times.

Not to mention you’d be starting the day off for the next semester with Sex Ed bright and early.

The teacher gazes at you expectantly and all you feel the need to indulge your new classmates is the smallest wave. Once the old lady behind the desk finally realizes you’re not going to say anything, she takes it upon herself to introduce you to everyone.

And you think to yourself that it won’t matter because you’ll be gone sooner or later, probably sooner rather than later because you don’t see your mom sticking around her old hometown when she’s sprung from the rehab program she’s chosen to go into.

Either way, you know better than to settle in or anything.

So you let the teacher introduce you because it’s the only thing you can do in the situation. And as soon as she’s done it and everyone has said hello to you in unison, you’re assigned a seat.

Right next to the lanky boy with the killer eyes, but of course. As you settle into the seat beside his you can feel his eyes burning into you. You glance around and you make it a point to avoid his general direction and once you’re satisfied that nobody’s looking, you pop the gum into your mouth after unwrapping it. Your notebook is opened to a blank sheet of paper and you turn your attention to the teacher as she begins to read from the page in a textbook you haven’t gotten yet. She pauses about halfway in and nods to the boy beside you in the next aisle.

“Mr. Munson, be a dear and share your book with our new student. Just until I can slip down and get one for her desk?”

He grumbles, but he shuffles the desk he’s sprawled into just a little closer. The Sex Ed book is slid between the two of you and you train your eyes on the page closest to you despite the fact that the teacher is reading from the page opposite to it.

And you can still feel his eyes on you. You glance up once and you stick out your tongue after sucking back in the bubble you’d been about to blow because you’d forgotten momentarily that you weren’t allowed to chew gum.

Just the slightest hint of a grin tugs one corner of thick lips upward but as quick as the half smile is given, it’s gone. You turn your attention to the notebook paper in the notebook nestled below the half of the text sitting on your desk and out of sheer boredom, you begin to doodle idly.

The teacher is focused more on abstinence than actually giving any useful information and the realization makes you roll your eyes. You can’t help the quiet giggle that comes when her voice hesitates every single time she says the word penis or vagina and you grumble mostly to yourself and as quietly as possible that her comprehension of the act itself is probably second grade level at best.

The observation has the boy next to you snickering to himself and at hearing the quiet husky sound you hazard a glance at him out of the corner of your eyes, studying him intently. Class seems to really drag on and as you’re walking out the door when the bell finally rings, you encounter the first of probably quite a few to come. The short brunette stops you in the open door and as her hand settles on her hip, she smirks up at you.

“What?” you pop a loud bubble as you stare right back at her, hints of your own annoyed smirk playing at your lips. “Do you mind moving, defective?” you roll your eyes as you nod to the door she's blocking while tapping your foot against the floor impatiently.

“My mom said your mom was the town slut back in the day.”

Surprise, surprise. Just because your mom doesn’t do the whole buttoned up Stepford mom thing. Just because she likes to show a little too much skin or wear a little too much makeup or drink a little too much at whatever bar happens to be in whatever town you happen to be in. Just because she’s more open-minded. Just because she’s too damn honest to be bothered to put on a fake persona.

The other girls eyes flit over you, taking in your own outfit, the cropped off the shoulder Motley Crue shirt.. The jeans that fit you like a second skin. The sunglasses pushed up into your hair to hold it at bay because that’s what seems to work best. The lightning bolt earrings in your ears and the wrist full of different bracelets.

“See somethin you like, sweets?” the question leaves your mouth dripping in sarcasm as the tension settles throughout your body. You even wiggle a brow and step just a little closer because there’s nothing like making somebody uncomfortable.

She snorts in derision. “Save it for the corner. Oh wait, that’s probably your mom’s job, right?”

Your fist clenches but the look on your face doesn’t falter at all. It’s still calm. Together. Despite wishing you could legally reach out and grab hold of her throat and squeeze til she’s turning purple, you seem as if it doesn’t bother you.

But damn it, your inner antagonist. It just has to come through. You lean in closer. Close enough that your mouth is next to her ear and as the statement leaves your mouth you smirk. “How do you know that’s not my job too, sweets?”

The horrified look she gives you fuels you. Satisfied that you’ve gotten the last word you shove past her and out the classroom door. Into a crowded hallway where you stop in the middle to consult the schedule you’ve spent an entire period drawing snakes, skulls, knives and roses onto the edges of out of sheer boredom.

Until the jock smashes into you and he’s all grins, his hand on the small of your back.

That charm coming out in spades. You reach back and extract his hand while scowling. “Did I ask you to touch me, prick?”

“Well no,” Jason Carver gives you this grin that’s so fake you’re nauseous. And the way he’s taking that condescending tone with you and his voice is dripping with honey is enough to have you throw up in your mouth a little. “But I rammed into you pretty hard. Would you rather me let you hit the ground next time?”

“If it keeps your greasy mitts off, fuck yes. Please do.” you shove past him and make your way straight over to your locker, fooling around with the lock until you come to the conclusion that the lock is fucked and you can’t actually get into your locker. You raise your hand and prepare to take a swing but an arm shoots out over your shoulder. Two neat chops to the middle of the metal structure and the door swings open.

You turn and find Eddie from homeroom leaned against the locker beside the one he’s just broken open for you.

And before you can muster up at least a thank you, he’s walking away down the hall.

– ( two to three weeks later )

By now it’s become something of a routine. Your homeroom teacher never seemed to actually go and get you your own textbook so at two weeks into this undetermined stay in Hawkins, you’re still sharing a Sex. Ed book with Eddie Munson.

And you’re still actively going above and beyond to avoid him, barely speaking unless you have to. Of course, the same can be said for pretty much the rest of the student body at Hawkins High but you take extra care when it comes to him.

He’s sitting beside you and he’s only half listening to the lesson. His eyes are trained on the surface of the desk in front of him and you can see the pen digging into the surface but whatever he’s carving into it is hidden by a mass of thick brown frizz that’s fallen around him and obstructs your view.

The teacher turns to address the class after getting through roll call.

“Can anyone give me some alternate names for the male genitalia?”

Next to you, you feel the exact second Eddie Munson tenses a little, quietly snickering to himself. But he doesn’t volunteer to answer.

And you’re not in a hurry to do it either. Neither is anybody else presently sitting in your class, it seems. Of course there might be a handful of people actually bothering to pay attention to any of this because the Sex. Ed taught by Hawkins High is something of a joke notoriously.

You could raise your hand to answer, but you’ve already got a detention under your belt and you don’t trust yourself not to get creative and make a scene because you’re bored to death. And according to your Grams, the less trouble you get into, the better.

The girl who has had it in for you since your first day at Hawkins turns and gazes at you with a calm smirk. “I think ___ wants to answer, ma’am.”

“You little bitch.” you breathe the words to yourself and as the teachers eyes settle on you expectantly, you hurry to shove the old issue of Rolling Stone you’d been half reading and half admiring the cover photo out of sight. The teacher is beside you in the split second you’ve just managed to get the magazine stowed away safely beneath your side of the textbook.

“Ms. ___, perhaps you could answer? Irina seems to think you’d like to.”

The silent for once tacked onto the end of her query goes unsaid. She’s giving you a firm look.

You shrug. At first you don’t say anything because you’re half hoping the old bat will move on to a new target but then, the teacher insists.

“You’re the one who asked.” you mutter softly. “ Mr. Mushroomhead, shrimp, sausage, prick, dick, cock, joystick, woody, boner, knob, wang.” you stop to take a deep breath and glance around. The looks on the faces of your classmates is enough to keep you going but now you’re doing it strictly to see just how much more you can shock them all, “schlong, dong, one eyed snake, flesh rocket, rod, pipe, magic beanstalk, magic stick, magic wand–” the teacher is uncomfortable now, you can feel her tense beside your desk where she’s standing. She clears her throat in warning but you’re determined to make this as uncomfortable for her as she’s made it for you by calling on you in the first place, “gear shift, meat, meat stick, package, third leg, baton, cum gun, cervix smasher, dagger, sword-” you glance up at the teacher finally only to find her gaping at you. She shakes her head. “That’s enough,” she says it quick before you can rattle off even more names and you shrug as if to ask if she’s happy now. But just to stir the pot as she makes her way up the row, you call out to her, “I can do vagina too, I mean.. If you’re completely incapable, ma’am.”

“No, no. No.” the teacher shakes her head. The expression on her face is one of a person who has been to war and has seen some shit. It’s enough to make you giggle softly. “Oops. I think I broke her.” you mumble, but it’s mostly to yourself.

You can feel Eddie’s eyes fixed on you intently for the rest of the class and you don’t dare look up at him. As soon as the bell rings, you’re on your feet, you’re bolting out the door to freedom so you can get to the girls bathroom or at least down the hall to your locker just so you can finally let out the laughter you’ve been holding in.

By the time you’re at your locker you’ve doubled over and you’re gripping your sides, the backpack slung carelessly on one shoulder is on the floor at your feet and you’re practically wheezing as the laughter takes over.

“I guess we know who’s next in line to take up the mantle of town slut. How many dicks have you seen, hm?” the words are accompanied with a laugh and your head snaps up abruptly, all of your own laughter dying away as you glare at Irina with a hand caught in your hair. “I find it ironic,” you speak up and go quiet again, “You call me a slut constantly and yet… Who did I see up at Lovers Lake in Carver’s Jeep?”

The way she tensed. The way a certain sweet blonde cheerleader gazed at her in stunned silence before promptly throwing Jason’s letterman’s jacket back in his general direction in sheer disgust and hurt.

You shrugged. It did bother you to upset Chrissy, but at this point you were half assuming and hoping that she knew her so called friends were all tempestuous vipers pretending to be friends with her because they were all on the same team and it was expected.

That really bothered you. Not that she was a friend or anything, you didn’t have or have a need for those and you never stay anywhere long enough to attempt making them, but… She was a sweet kid. And you picked up on certain… Tones and remarks they made with her literally right there. How she seemed not to was baffling to you, but she didn’t.

“Yeah? Well if you saw me it means you were up there being a slut first!” Irina’s stepped up to you. You go for your earrings because you’re not a stranger to the occasional physical altercation and frankly, at two weeks into being the new girl at Hawkins, you’ve been dying to throw hands with somebody. Anybody, honestly. Because there’s only so much shit that they say about your mother, a woman who is trying to get her shit together and be a better person… You reached your limit.

They can say whatever the hell they like about you. They need to learn to leave your mother out of it because she’s dealing with some very serious problems and maybe you think if you throw hands with Irina the rest of the girls who torment and tease and taunt you daily to a point where you can hear it in your sleep will finally just stop.

However… Before you get your hand on her, you’re being lifted. Thrown across someone’s shoulder as if you weigh nothing with no regard given to the fact that your skirt is short today and when you’re heaved upward across the shoulder of Eddie Munson, the entire hallway gets one hell of a glimpse of hot red lace hidden away beneath your skirt. Or the tear on the inner thigh of your stockings and down the back of them.

You pound on his midsection and you’re kicking your feet, you’re doing anything you can so that he’ll drop you and you can go back, be a big girl and finish what you were about to start. But Eddie stands you on your own feet outside the school building.

You smirk and step towards the door but he leans against it, his arms folded over his chest. “Not a good idea, hellion.” his voice is firm. Firm enough that your stomach does a lazy flip.

“Yeah?” you huff as you take a few deep breaths and attempt swinging at the metal door you stand in front of. Eddie catches you by the wrist and kind of holds onto your hand. For seconds that stretch out way too long for your liking, all either of you are doing is staring at each other. Quiet.

You, because you don’t know what to say or even why he’s made this entire thing his business to begin with and him because he’s trying to figure out what to say that might get you calm and make you feel better. Because he knows they’ve been making your life hell and it bothers him.

It bothers him so much that at this point in time, it’s all the Hellfire Club hears about anymore. That and his not so well hidden crush on you, which none of them can figure out because to quote Mike Wheeler, everything about you screams to be left alone and that you’re not a nice person. This is up for debate with Dustin who has been encouraging Eddie to at least try with you, reminding him that a person can never have too many friends.

And there’s the whole thing from earlier in class. When you were listing off those names… the way it got him all hot and bothered somehow because there was just something about hearing you say cock in that soft little drawl of yours.

And then seeing you express some kind of actual visceral emotion for once instead of just pretending you don’t give a shit about anything or anybody which he’s noticed you do a lot. That got to him, definitely. So it’s a combination of all those things that drew him to intervene, to get you out of there and away somewhere to calm down.

Your eyes dart down to the way Eddie’s hand engulfs your wrist and you gulp. You step a little closer, brows knit in frustration as you try to figure him out.

He steps closer to you before he can stop himself, a pout quick to form when you step away just a bit, opening up a sliver of space between you. “Why was that any of your business, huh?”

Eddie shrugged. Rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

You grumble to yourself and throw up your hands because his lack of an answer frustrates you a little too much.

“It bothered me, alright?” he says it just when you go to put your hand on the handle attached to the door. You pause and turn halfway, a brow raised as you stare at him and bite your lip. “After a dozen different places man, you kinda get used to it all.” you shrug it off.

He shakes his head. “You shouldn’t, though. Doesn’t it bother you at all?”

You pull your hand away from the door handle. “Well yeah, but I mean… doesn’t bother me as much as when they bring her into it.”

You’re not even sure why you feel the need to pour out your soul to the guy. You shuffle scuffed boots against the concrete beneath your feet and stare down at the floor intently.

As he steps up to you, you can’t help but notice the way he towers over you. Or the scent of leather, weed and boy combine in a way that’s just a little too comforting for you.

The thought is the exact reason you tense up a little but Eddie thinks it’s because he -the freak of Hawkins High, has stepped just a little too close to you. He tenses up too. Folds his arms and honestly, he starts to walk away while muttering that he should’ve known better than to try and help you, not even you’d want the freak’s help.

This time it’s your turn to stop him from walking away and you do so by reaching around and closing your hand over the top of his where it rests on the door handle. “You’re not a freak, alright? It’s… It has nothing to do with you. It’s more a me thing. Look, I mean it. It has nothing to do with you and you’re not a freak.” you’re reassuring him but you’re not sure why because sooner or later, you’ll have to leave and none of this will matter. He’ll forget you and you’ll forget him, lost in the shuffle wherever you land next.

He turns to stare down at you. Brows knit together in confusion as if he never stopped to contemplate your reason for keeping him at bay wouldn’t be the same as all the others.

You shrug. “Pretty sure when my mom gets out of her program she’s going to pack us up to go God knows where because there’s just… Too much of her past here, I think... It’s just… Look, it’s easier if I don’t get to know anybody and like..” you fidget with the sleeve of your favorite oversized flannel as you stare at your boots, “Get attached. Because I used to, ya know. And it always hurt when I had to leave.”

Eddie nods. Shuffles his feet as he gazes at you intently. Drawn into your eyes but that has the unfortunate side effect of noticing the exact second your tongue drags over the outline of your lips and his eyes catch on the subtle movement.

“But that has to be lonely, though.” Eddie questions quietly. Eyes fixed on you intently. Suddenly your entire attitude makes total sense to him. And there’s a lot of context he’s picked up on in the little you have actually said. There’s enough that he feels like maybe he’s finally figuring you out. He wonders briefly if this means he’ll finally be less aware of you and somehow, he knows deep down that the answer to that particular question is a resounding no.

You have his undivided attention, even though knowing that drives him crazy because it’s not like he meant for it to happen or wanted it to.

“Well yeah, but it’s better? I mean I guess it is.” you sigh and lean against the door as you stare up at him. You manage a weak smile, mostly for show. Mostly so he’ll think you’re okay. Because you want him to feel like he helped a little.

Your heart is doing that lazy little fluttery thing it’s been doing since about halfway through your first week at Hawkins High and yet again, you find yourself trying to ignore it when it happens. This time, though… This time it’s not ignored so easily.

The bell to begin your next class starts and suddenly, you’d rather be anywhere but the building you’re standing outside of.

“C’mon.” you step away from the door and nod towards the parking lot. Eddie raises a brow. You tap your foot impatiently.

“Where?”

“I dunno..” you trail off laughing, “Somewhere not here.” you point out and he laughs.

“I got it.” he speaks up as your mom’s Impala comes into view. You stop at the passenger door to unlock it and find yourself almost body to body with him. “Yeah?” you tilt your head as you look up at him and twirl a strand of hair around your finger. “Where, hm?”

“Well, we can go to my place. I can finish working on something.”

Your brow raises and you shrug. Then you reach into the pocket at the hip of your leather jacket and take out your keys, dropping them into his hand. “You know where it is, you drive.”

He turns the keys over in his hand, his eyes fixed on a blinding pink rabbits foot keychain dangling off. “You want me to drive.”

“Well duh, how else are we getting there?”

“We can take my van.” he nods to it. “Or I could drive my van and you follow.”

And while his suggestion to follow him does make sense, you’re shocked to realize that maybe you are just a little lonely. At any rate, you’d really rather ride over together. In one vehicle.

But you shove the thought out of your head and glance at the van. “Okay, alright. I’ll follow you to your place.”

He grins and rushes over to the van and you get into your mom’s Impala, pulling it to an abrupt stop beside his idling van barely a second later as you roll down your window.

If he thought ignoring whatever feelings you triggered in him was going to be a challenge before, he knew it would now because when you rolled down the window he could hear Mr. Crowley by Ozzy Osbourne playing at an almost deafening volume. You turned it down a little with a sheepish shrug.

“Ozzy, huh?”

“Mhm. Why?” you question as you lock eyes with him again. He doesn’t say anything other than “Try to keep up.” as he smirks at you and takes off in the van.

As you spin out into the road behind him, you find yourself torn two different ways. On the one hand, maybe this isn’t a bad thing. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt, just to hang out with Eddie Munson for one afternoon. But on the other hand, you have the distinct feeling that this one afternoon just might not be enough, not at all.

And knowing this scares the living hell out of you.

Because whatever is happening is stronger. Stronger than you, possibly. And so much more than just a feeling.

#eddie munson #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x fem!reader fanfic #eddie munson oneshot #... or is it... this is up to you guys.#feedback might tempt me to add to this at some point.#maybe even add a lil spice.#until then... enjoy the rollercoaster that is.. this whatever it is.#look i had fun.#its outta my head now

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demonsfate · 5 months

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I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT JIN'S EMAIL TO HER IN TEK 4 LMAO orz I'm sorry. But yeah I agree with you. I also think he didn't tell her all the details likely for those reasons. But he told her enough to warn her and give her an idea of what kind of person Heihachi was. Which makes her attitude in Tekken 5 all the more confusing. I'm guessing Jin was so confused because he swore he had told her Heihachi was a pos, still does and yet here she is trying to go back in time lol. I think that's the game where things start to get worse with the writing. Granted Tekken has never had top writing but still. It actually makes me a bit sad because I was introduced to the games with 5 and I'm very fond of it (bc nostalgia but anyway)

A lot of shit happens in the Tekken series, and it makes it easier to forget it when the game's plagued with inconsistent writing. Hell, there are many things forgotten or straight up misconceptions within the fandom. (Many people still believe Kazuya made a deal with the devil to not die as a kid, but that only happened in the OVA) HELL, even I sometimes forget certain things, and I end up making headcanon posts that don't comply to canon just because I forgot about something. 😅

I looked it up for more info regarding the "email" Jin sent, according to some sources (such as the PAL version of the manual) Jin told her he suspected Heihachi was gonna have her assassinated...? Whiiich unsure if that's just a mistranslation from the PAL edition or not because I don't see why Heihachi would do that. He did it to Jin because Jin was no longer of use, he never cared about Jin, and Jin has the devil gene. But Xiao hasn't really done anything to warrant an assassination, unless Heihachi feared she'll uncover the truth regarding Jin's disappearance, and turn on him. But again, I'm unsure if this is true, or if the PAL version just added more because they thought "dangers" was too vague, or assumed that's what it meant when talking about the dangers. But who knows, we all also know how wonky the official translations of the series can be.

There's also a lot of issues with time travel. Such as, even if Xiao had succeeded, it'd be a possibility that Jin would've never been born. (After all, Jun only met Kaz due to his shady treatment of wildlife animals). But I won't delve too much into this just because it's just a silly story that means little. I don't even know how canon it is, considering that Xiao's ending in general isn't canon I don't think. Time travel, I'm pretty sure, is still not something that can canonically be done in the lore LOL.

Oh, Tekken 5 may be my favorite Tek game. (It's in the top three along with Tek3 and Tag 2) But I also very much enjoy Tekken 6 and we all know how I feel regarding its story. Basically, Tekken games can be very fun but not have the story that matches their quality of gameplay LOL. And I belieeeeve I wrote here very recently that 5 was the start of the atrocious writing. Although Jin was still relatively in character in 5, it did set up his villain arc with the ending. Xiao was flanderized to hell as we've discussed. Characters that didn't have joke endings before now have them (see Heihachi and Lei, probs more that I'm not thinking about rn) which set up the premise of not taking most of the cast seriously. (Tek7 DEFINITELY had an issue with most endings being pointless and comedic) So yeah, whilst Tek5 wasn't as bad as Tek6 in terms of story, it was suffering symptoms of it. Like a pre-illness or something LOL.

Tek3 was actually the first I was introduced to. My brothers CLAIMED we played Tek5 as kids because we rented it before when it was new...? But oddly I have like ZERO memories of it. I only remember playing Tek3, Tag 1, and Tek4. Which I played Tek4 very little because as a kid, I saw the limited amount of characters and thought "why would I play this when I can play Tag 1 with LOTS of characters...?" xD

#✏️ - ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏsᴛ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏsᴛ // (ooc)#✏️ - ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ? // (inbox)

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elytrafemme · 1 year

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(I'm watching MCC during this so some words might not make sense)

To be fair, regarding the AO3 tagging background characters, I just so so much dislike when people tag every single kind of interaction (which mainly happens in the DSMP fandom 💀). Like. I cannot articulate how much I dislike that. You tag the main & or / focus, alternatively all the / present, because that's usually a deal-breaker. But you don't tag a ship if they just talk once and then never again, or if they're just mentioned in passing. That's not going to get you more readers, I'll just hate you forever <- big hater fr

Like, to be fair I never filtered a fic based on what background characters it involved, until DSMP. And that's purely because DSMP's ship tagging is, as mentioned above, just absolute dogshit.

no this is super true and i think w DSMP that's especially true also fandoms susceptible to chatfics & crossovers def tend to have this issue as well

what i moreso meant when it came to tagging 'background' characters is characters that are not one of the main cast but are still important enough that you would lose aspects of plot without mentioning them. an example is like, a fic where the focus is on two characters and their pairing, but one of the character's coworkers keep getting mentioned in prose in a past tense kind of way. like these two were formerly interacted but they are not actively in the story. then i think it warrants a mentioned tag, but that kind of circumstance tbf is not super frequent so i would get the argument to just leave that character out entirely

definitely think characters who are mentioned briefly or only say one or two things don't need to be tagged because you could take those solo lines out of the narrative and very little will change. imo it's mostly just about how much of an influence that character has in the story which sometimes i think gets complicated based on how the fic is written

i hope mcc is going well and your streamer isn't too drunk thus far

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gratisdiamanten · 1 year

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lmao i want you to answer all those qs but #1,2,8,18

So honored my opinions are even readable given how much I write literal droning nonsense like a self absorbed social sciences prof. Anyway I'm sorry if these warrant unfollowing:

1. The character everyone gets wrong

I wrote like two paragraphs on Daniel, and then I deleted them bc these are actually nicher complaints; I think most people aren't that guilty of them!

I personally feel that people are often kind of off with how they write Max wrt his childhood (kind of irked by the A+ Parenting Tag as a concept, like imagine tagging someone's specific real life abuse sitch with a Witty Phrase), and I think there's a poor sense in general of the impact Jos had on him. He's not particularly prickly about his father, but has a stilted relationship. They call each other constantly. Max had a long term infatuation with him, IMO (I say infatuation bc crush has a different connotation that I'm not even going to unpack). That actually started declining around 2018-2019 which I have wild speculative opinions on. Now he's like... kind of just in an obligatory state. He wants to have a racing team with him! But I think that's because he has nothing else in common with him anymore. Blood and gasoline.

2. A compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

I don't think Max couldn't top but I don't really write him doing that. There isn't really a rationality bc I dont think necessarily your irl behavior correlates at all with your behavior in the bedroom unless you actually are trying to project that kind of thing (which some people kind of do outside of sexual situations) but it's not a personality trait.

Also I write a lot about trauma and violation and shame and having him prefer that while it's coincidence or not similar to his trauma just works narratively idk. What he actually likes IDRC.

8. Common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

When one of them is gay and one of them is bisexual, and one of them is sexually confident and one is sexually insecure, everyone makes Daniel the confident bisexual and Max as the homophobic homosexual. This is one of those things that regardless of the actual reality, the evidence doesn't support, idk. Daniel no-homos with the best of them from the 2000s and Max will easily admit to being on gay hookup apps and liking both men and women. If you have narrative reasons that's all well and good but don't act like that's how they are irl!

18. It's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

Dead dove fic in general, I think there's honestly less than in fandoms I've written for in the past. More specifically:

Jos and Max to SOME degree. Freak take I know but I see more Leclerc brother/leclerc brother fic than that. Which doesn't even like, work thematically that well to me, at least the way they do it. Idk. I don't really write porn in general, more about like, family horror a la the gothic tradition, but anyone who's been there long enough knows the pervasive incestuous themes in those. Anyway. The codependency and room sharing and Max being his mother's personality double and whatever. In Supernatural fandom they'd eat this shit up... and yet we are writing a/b/o concubine fic as our dead-dovish media of choice. Obviously it's easy to understand why people don't, I just think for locked-fic ao3 world it's an untapped market.

#SORRY for the long post #asks #anon #ask games

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escarlatafox · 2 years

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the Phantom Ace Attorney for that character bingo?

(Okay I typed this up but just quickly: Rachel if you're reading this... skip the post bud. Spoilerish for a future game? Which is funny because this technically(?) doesn't really spoil anything much but lol. Anyway there's ya spoiler warning, take it or leave it ;D)

"they are sooooo cool looking" I know they don't have a canon appearance (LOL) but the masked/obscured face pics we do have are cool. besides, i'd stan them regardless of whatever their actual appearance is aheh

If they were real, I SHOULD be afraid of them. I know that. But I am too fascinated, so fascinated by them that I just don't think I would be able to be remotely afraid at this point.

"they got done dirty by the fans" is like... do we mean ace attorney fans or phantom fans? because although the latter is a group within the former group, it's two different things. I do think they were done very dirty by like... the ace attorney fandom as a whole (recent surveys show that AA5 seems to get too much flack in the sense that most of the people who have it as their least favourite game haven't even played it? lol) but phantom fans mostly just seem cool to me. just wish there were more of 'em :')

"nothing i like about them is technically canon" is like... LOL. I didn't select this bc I like canon phantom. what we get in the games isn't a Lot (<- understatement) but I look at it and still go You. I Stan You. :) since that's "canon" without any added stuff it's like... I do like canon stuff about them which is why I didn't select that in the bingo djdfhjfdjk

The list of potential (ie. non-canon) stuff I like about 'em is huge though.

You could make the argument that there is technically no canon stuff about them because that's the point of the character and therefore to like phantom warrants selecting that option, but... idk. I still like the "canon" idea of the phantom that the game gives us, so. <3 I like the concept. It's already enough for me.

Clearly, I should have also selected "they've never done anything wrong in their life". Clearly. I didn't, but the temptation was absolutely there. I mean if you look past the everything....! (LOL)

Okay something else I'm adding After typing up the tags: it's so extremely surreal to me whenever the phantom gets acknowledged within the like. main fandom (outside like, Dual Destinies-focused circles) bcause.... not only is it super rare for the phantom to get mentioned in casual fan discussion but it's like this weird reminder that Yes They Are Canon To The Franchise. They really do Exist within ace attorney canon and every day im glad for that fact. I've spent so much time being a phantom fan at this point that them getting acknowledged by people in the main ace attorney fandom is like... "whoa they exist in the main canon... this isnt just my niche... other ppl know this character... they were Put Into The Games they are not just In My Mind" LOL

#electricshoop #I'M SO NORMAL I am a very Normal fan with VERY normal thoughts about thephantom aceattourney #My close friends can all clearly attest to this #I have never swamped any friends with piles upon piles of meta despite them never having played an ace attorney game in their life #I am a Normal Ace Attorney Fan clearly im only into miles eggworm and narumitsu #and I am definitely not overly attached to certain villains that sit on the margins when it comes to fandom attention #that come from highly contested games #blaaaaaah take me to the timeline where the phantom is as popular as like. [insert popular ace attorney character here]#Okay also AA5 and phantom getting ignored by The Franchise Itself because the bigwigs know the game/character didn't do well #Like ddfjkdfkjfdjkkjfd #All you need to know is that I'm a normal well-adjusted ace attorney fan that distributes my fandom focus in a very ordinary way!#ask #asks

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thiscrimsonsoul · 1 year

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you write wanda so well 😊 if only the mcu could give her that depth, and not only her but all characters. wanda is one of my favorites and I'm not a big fan of thor, but her trauma gets treated as serious while his is treated as a joke. this is so unfair and as a wanda fan I have no problem saying it. both characters lost everything and everyone but they get portrayed in vastly different ways. I get that thor is a himbo but himbos cry too (which is something the gotg films address really well)

{out of paprikash} Awww, thank you, but to be fair, I think I was only able to give her that depth because of 1) the scaffolding the MCU already set me up with for her, and 2) Lizzie's great portrayal. Building off of both of those things, it was easy to develop Wanda as much as I have. I've really enjoyed doing it too, because Wanda's such a complex and interesting character.

And about Wanda's trauma being treated as serious... I'm not so sure about that. I've had some really nasty encounters with MCU fans on this site who hate Wanda and say that what she's going through isn't even trauma at all. I remember one person referring to WandaVision as something like... a whiny idiot playing house with a dead family, or something similar. I don't remember the exact wording but I was like... wow. So there are a lot of fans who feel that Wanda is just whiny, or a complainer, or that she just lost some loved ones and should get over it. They don't see the underlying issues that brought about the WandaVision situation or even the DSMoM situations.

And that's OOC, but even IC, I feel like none of the characters really understand that Wanda seriously needs help. Like... characters who were dead or otherwise unavailable after Endgame aside, where were some of them when they should have been checking on Wanda or making sure that Vision's body didn't fall into the wrong hands? So I feel like even IC, she's not seen as having a problem at all, because apparently everybody thought she was fine, or at least not in enough distress to warrant any wellness checks before things got real bad real fast.

And then by the time things do get bad by the end of WandaVision, still nobody thinks to get her help or even inquire about her mental health in two years? I am by no means condoning what Wanda did in DSMoM, but I also kindof feel like... when you've left someone alone with that much pain for that long, with all indications being that they are NotOkay™, and you don't bother to try to help or check up on them, what the hell did you expect? She's not blameless for what happened in DSMoM, but neither should she be fully blamed either. It's somewhere in the middle. I think she needs help, not punishment at this point. Strange should've been all over Wanda's mental health after WandaVision, and don't tell me he didn't hear about what happened because come on, heh.

Anyway, sorry for that rant, but I had to weigh in. If anyone else has thoughts on this, feel free to comment! But yeah, Thor was done dirty too with regard to his mental health struggles. I rant in the tags slightly on this post over on my multi about that. He needed serious help during Endgame and instead it was like oh look at fat, slovenly Thor. Isn't that funny? And I'm there like um, no, he's in serious distress, this isn't funny at all. So yeah, I agree that Thor's trauma was not handled well at all. But that's why rp is so great, isn't it? Because we can take what the MCU did, and then build on it to make it better. =)

#{ out of paprikash } ᵒᵒᶜ

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une-nuit-pour-se-souvenir · 3 years

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random thoughts about aegon vi and septa lemore

Apparently, it’s Aegon’s week. i don’t think i ever paticipated in these events for any character or pairing, but @agentrouka-blog’s theory that septa Lemore is Ashara Dayne and that the baby switch was between Aegon and her rumoured child (instead of random kid) showed up on my dash today.

Lemore being Ashara Dayne and there having been baby switch like theorised would be fantastic, because she’d know a lot of stuff that is otherwise impossible to know. She knows who dishonoured her at Harrenhal (we all know Brandon, not Ned). She knows about Wylla, a wetnurse from the Dayne Household, who Eddard Stark and Edric Dayne both say is Jon’s mother (we all know Jon is Lyanna’s, so this apparent lie version being told by two different people who have nothing to do with one another seems to suggest a combined lie between Ned and the Daynes). She knows about Jon because Ned went to Starfall with him and (if baby switch theory is true), she can confirm Aegon VI is real.

There’s also the suspicious narrative choice of a “Targ” (not even, she has dark hair, not silver hair, even if she has purple eyes) getting with an impetuous Stark at Harrenhal and a secret child never really going anywhere. What’s the point of that besides shading Rhaegar plus Lyanna equals Jon? This I always thought was suspicious, but this theory would *poof* make it make sense.

TYRION III ~ ADWD

This is the chapter where Aegon VI Targaryen is first introduced. The whole chapter is like a “perigrination” to find him. I am of the opinion that Aegon VI is the real thing for a long time now and there’s evidence that might be the case in this very chapter where he’s introduced.

"How fares our lad?" asked Illyrio as the chests were being secured. Tyrion counted six, oaken chests with iron hasps. Duck shifted them easily enough, hoisting them on one shoulder.

This is shortly after the chapter starts. Not only Illyrio asks about Aegon, there’s also the imagery of six chests about. If Aegon is crowned king of Westeros, he’ll be Aegon VI Targaryen.

By imagery, Aegon is real.++

"There is a gift for the boy in one of the chests. Some candied ginger. He was always fond of it." Illyrio sounded oddly sad.

This is often used as a clue that Aegon VI is fake. Illyrio is expressing some sentimental attachment, so there are theories that he could be the father and the mother would be some Valyrian looking wife he has. it has its merits.

On the other hand, Aegon VI is on the run from the crown, hiding under a false identity and dyes his hair another colour, but most importantly in this passage, is Aegon’s fond of a specific sweet that what we would at first mistake for a father for the reasons pointed above gifts him with.

This is 1:1 what’s going on with Sansa, she’s on the run from the crown, hiding under a false identity and dyes her hair another colour, she’s fond of a specific sweet (lemoncakes) and Littlefinger, who’s pretending to be her father and is very... emotionally invested... in her, gifts her with some (well, in parternship with her cousin, but the cousin is another matter).

By parallel, Aegon is real.++

Tyrion craned his head to one side, and saw a boy standing on the roof of a low wooden building, waving a wide-brimmed straw hat. He was a lithe and well-made youth, with a lanky build and a shock of dark blue hair.

Aegon is inrroduced standing above the rest, literally high-standing.

By imagery, Aegon is real.++

An older couple with a Rhoynish cast to their features stood close beside the tiller, whilst a handsome septa in a soft white robe stepped through the cabin door and pushed a lock of dark brown hair from her eyes.

This is actually what I came for, Lemore.

Why a septa would be described as “handsome” when that should have no relevance since she’s supposed to be chaste (I know, it’s Tyrion, but still)? Ashara Dayne is described by many as being beautiful, arrestingly so. If Lemore is Ashara, “handsome” is a good way to describe her beauty still.

Lemore has dark brown hair. Ashara is described as having long dark hair tumbling about her shoulders. More importantly, Lemore's first actions is push her hair from her eyes. Like, pay attention to this woman’s eyes, even though they’re not described ever (not even their colour).

TYRION IV ~ ADWD

Tyrion had drunk himself blind his first night on the Shy Maid. The next day he awoke with dragons fighting in his skull.

So yes, the night after Tyrion meets Aegon and his party for the first time, he dreams of dragons fighting. Take note these are dragons, not a fake dragon in whatever way and a dragon.

By imagery, Aegon is real.++.

The clouds in the sky were aglow: pink and purple, maroon and gold, pearl and saffron. One looked like a dragon. Once a man has seen a dragon in flight, let him stay at home and tend his garden in content, someone had written once, for this wide world has no greater wonder. Tyrion scratched at his scar and tried to recall the author's name. Dragons had been much in his thoughts of late.

One of those clouds looks like a dragon. There’s no dragons with these colours BUT Targs have purple eyes and Viseryion, a dragon I believe is a narrative stand-in for Aegon VI, is described as cream and gold, so one colour here. Honestly, the important here is that Tyrion is associating dragons around Aegon.

By imagery, Aegon is real.++.

"Good morrow, Hugor." Septa Lemore had emerged in her white robes, cinched at the waist with a woven belt of seven colors. Her hair flowed loose about her shoulders. "How did you sleep?"

Holy shit.

“Even after all these years, Ser Barristan could still recall Ashara's smile, the sound of her laughter. He had only to close his eyes to see her, with her long dark hair tumbling about her shoulders and those haunting purple eyes.

"Fitfully, good lady. I dreamed of you again." A waking dream. He could not sleep, so he had eased a hand between his legs and imagined the septa atop him, breasts bouncing.

"A wicked dream, no doubt. You are a wicked man. Will you pray with me and ask forgiveness for your sins?"

Only if we pray in the fashion of the Summer Isles. "No, but do give the Maiden a long, sweet kiss for me."

Laughing, the septa walked to the prow of the boat. It was her custom to bathe in the river every morning.

"Plainly, this boat was not named for you," Tyrion called as she disrobed.

"The Mother and the Father made us in their image, Hugor. We should glory in our bodies, for they are the work of gods."

Yeah, it’s Tyrion, who’d sexualise a rock, but this is a septa who deserves respect. Yet, this is how the writer “paints” the reader’s first interaction with this new character. These are always the most striking moments when establishing a character and sex imagery is what the writer decided to do.

Also Lemore not only knows that Tyrion’s fantasising about having sex with her and doesn’t give a shit, she laughs instead, gets naked to bathe, and doesn’t give a shit if others look at her naked body. This doesn’t feel like a septa. I mean, I remember Mordane and the zealots at King’s Landing who screwed with Cersei. They have nothing on this.

The way she puts why she has no problems with naked bodies and the like also suggest some kind of “free spirit” which goes well with the (disgusting, but there) dornish wanton woman trope and being dishonoured by Brandon at Harrenhal.

Another thing to note, is that Tyrion also clearly says the “Shy Maid” wasn’t named after Lemore, which suggests she’s neither shy nor a maid. This is confirmed by her actions and by...

The dwarf watched Lemore slip into the water. The sight always made him hard. There was something wonderfully wicked about the thought of peeling the septa out of those chaste white robes and spreading her legs. Innocence despoiled, he thought … though Lemore was not near as innocent as she appeared. She had stretch marks on her belly that could only have come from childbirth.

Lemore was pregnant at one point!

When Lemore climbed back onto the deck, Tyrion savored the sight of water trickling between her breasts, her smooth skin glowing golden in the morning light. She was past forty, more handsome than pretty, but still easy on the eye. Being randy is the next best thing to being drunk, he decided. It made him feel as if he was still alive. "Did you see the turtle, Hugor?" the septa asked him, wringing water from her hair. "The big ridgeback?"

This disparity of behaviour between septa Lemore and any other septa in ASOIAF is VERY suspicious. Note how Lemore has two mysteries about her already, she’s characterised nothing like any septa in ASOIAF (more like the tasteless “dornish wanton woman” sterotype instead) and a mystery child. What’s the point of that, if she’s irrelevant.

Compare how he Yandry and Ysilla couple is treated, where there are no bizarre things taking place that I noticed. Also Yandry and Ysilla are specifically said to be a pair of Dornish orphans. Why is the image of Dornish people here, along with Lemore? Suspicious, suspicious.

Lemore is “past fourty”. The asoiaf wiki lists Ashara Dayne as being born between 260AC and 269AC, which means that she’d be around this age if she had lived.

The imagery of a (false, but still) maidtaking a bath while men watch is the same as Florian and Jonquil song, an event that legend says happened at Maidenpool (close to... yes, that’s right, Harrenhal, where Ashara met Brandon).

"The turtles have their charms, I will allow. Nothing delights me so much as the sight of a nice pair of shapely … shells.

"Septa Lemore laughed. Like everyone else aboard the Shy Maid, she had her secrets. She was welcome to them. I do not want to know her, I only want to fuck her. She knew it too. As she hung her septa's crystal about her neck, to nestle in the cleft between her breasts, she teased him with a smile.

That’s not the behaviour of a septa and note the narrative acknowledgement that Lemore has secrets. She’s also called Lady instead of septa at some point in the narrative.

If this is Ashara, then Brandon met his match at Harrenhal. The waste, I can’t. What a sexy couple.

This chapter also contains Targ history as well as some Dorne (mother Rhoyne and whatnot). It goes well with Aegon is the real deal. But what really cinches it is the ending...

"It was him," cried Yandry. "The Old Man of the River."And why not?

Tyrion grinned. Gods and wonders always appear, to attend the birth of kings.

The Old Man of the River is a lesser god, the son of Mother Rhoyne. These gods are all associated with Dorne.

Aegon is real.++.

Tyrion VI ~ ADWD

"Even the bravest of your forebears kept his Kingsguard close about him in times of peril." Lemore had changed out of her septa's robes into garb more befitting the wife or daughter of a prosperous merchant. Tyrion watched her closely. He had sniffed out the truth beneath the dyed blue hair of Griff and Young Griff easily enough, and Yandry and Ysilla seemed to be no more than they claimed to be, whilst Duck was somewhat less. Lemore, though … Who is she, really? Why is she here? Not for gold, I'd judge. What is this prince to her? Was she ever a true septa?

Who is she, really... indeed... Lemore’s identity clearly is important.

She turned back to Prince Aegon. "You are not the only one who must needs hide."

Why does Lemore need to hide? :)

#asoiaf speculaion #i'm not going to tag these characters because the original theory isn't mine #i'm also not going to tag these characters because this isn't enough to warrant an entry on aegon vi targaryen week

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