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#i'm fucking tired of not being good enough
lunaelemon · 2 days
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ᥫ᭡ Slut alert- Having him fuck you dumb wasn't enough, now you gotta fight your low iron levels too?
Maybe riding him wasn't the best idea when you have anemia but it was worth it~
MDNI
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"Tired already, precious?" His breathless voice reached your ringing ears as you moaned softly, biting on your lower lip to suppress it as his hips bounced you up and down on his dick. The fat, thick base of his cock stretching you out as your hips crashed with his with each bounce, every squelch and every moan.
It was all fun and games until you opened your eyes to look down at him, maybe tease him a bit about his whiny moans when you almost lurch forward from dizziness, somehow holding back by squeezing your eyes shut, black spots taking over your vision as you gasped every time the curve of his dick rubbed against that one particular spot, basically kissing your cervix while you struggled to get words out of your lips.
His cock fucking the words out of you as your mind was rendered dumb, drunk on the way his hips rolled against you, the way his voice called you filthy names, his rough hands playing with your bouncing tits as his name rolled from your tongue like a mantra.
He fucked you mean, fucked you mean enough for you to feel more stimulated by his dick than the constant blackening of your vision everytime you opened your eyes.
"Fuck fuck fuck toru...m'gonna cum....cock reaching so deep fuckkk"
His hair was sticking to his forehead as he let out a low chuckle, smirking at the way your eyes rolled back every time he abused that spot with his dick, pressing up against it, pushing you down on his cock as it squelched around his girth.
Taking in his inches so fucking good. His nasty girl.
"Look at me baby. Wanna look in your pretty eyes while you milk me, hm? Fuckin' me nasty, lemme look at your eyes, okay?"
You swallowed back as you tried opening your eyes only to see black, everything spinning around you, feeling lightheaded as he bounced you in a rhythmic motion.
His lithe fingers rubbing soft circles on your clit, squeezing out whimpers from you as your thighs trembled from exhaustion.
"Your pussy is making such pretty noises for me, such a pretty tune"
Filthy, nasty fucker
You closed your eyes again, much to his suspicions as he frowned at your reluctance to follow his requests...orders
"Can't...just...just lemme cum please" you whined out, you didn't want to stop just yet due to this shitty condition.
"Babe? What happened"
His thrusts stopped abruptly as you let out a loud whine, trying to grind against him only to have him hold you down by your waist, leaving angry red marks as you begrudgingly stopped.
"Fu-ckkkk toru..just a lil bit more...just feel a little lightheaded-"
"I told you we don't have to do cowgirl, your body isn't fit enough for it. Wait let me bring you some water."
"Why did you let me fuck you through it"
His voice was stern and authoritative as he just proved his own point as to why you didn't tell him mid fuck, rolling your eyes at his words.
He swiftly pulled out of you, leaving your aching hole empty, making you whimper as you slumped on the bed on your stomach, chest heaving from exhaustion as your legs trembled from being this close to orgasm seconds ago.
"Here you go"
As you drank from the glass, you noticed him staring at you, his eyes seemingly making a decision as they glanced all over your sweaty mess of a body.
"Only missionary for you now. I don't want you to bounce on my cock, fighting your orgasm and your low iron levels"
"Ugh come onnn, it's not that bad toru"
"Nuh uh, and I'm looking into your diet starting today."
He placed the glass on the bedside table, before continuing his next sentence. He always had so much to say -
"Now lay down on your back sweetheart, finish what you were doing before"
Well that worked out, but obviously in missionary
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ᥫ᭡ Authors note - I kinda wanted to make it a headcannon for all jkk men but I got impatient cuz this is so brainrotting, this is so filthy omg
Masterlist
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© lunaelemon. do not copy or repost any of my writing, layouts, or concepts.
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anonymousewrites · 19 hours
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Nature of the Human Soul (Book 1) Chapter Fourteen
Platonic! Hazbin Hotel x Teen! Reader
Father Figure! Alastor x Teen! Reader
Chapter Fourteen: Show Goes On
Summary: The Hotel rebuilds and moves on from the fight.
Mouse Note: Thank you for reading Nature of the Human Soul (Book 1)! I hope you all enjoyed because I loved writing this. I'm so excited for Hazbin Hotel to return because I have a lot of ideas for this series, and I'm excited to continue. But for now, thank you for everything! If you like my writing, please check out my other Father Figure series!
           “Noooo!” screamed Lute as Adam fell. She ran to Adam’s side, and (Y/N) backed off, narrowing their eyes in case she tried anything. “Sir! Stay with me, sir! Adam!” He was gone.
           “It’s over,” said Charlie, holding Vaggie to her side protectively.
           Lucifer loomed over Lute, and her eyes widened in fright. “Take your little friends and go home! Please.”
           Lute narrowed her eyes and picked up Adam’s halo. Furious at having no other choice, she glared at the demons before calling out to the exorcists. “Retreat. All exorcists fall back.”
           The angels rose into the air, fleeing back through the portal to heaven.
           Lucifer, pleased, turned to the hotel group. “So…who’s up for pancakes?”
           Everyone, bloody and tired, stared at him.
l
            “Good evening, I’m Katie Killjoy,” said the news report later that night.
            “And I’m—”
            “No one gives a shit who you are, Tom,” said Katie. “Breaking news: extermination day is canceled! Charlie Morningstar managed to fend off the angelic attack with more than just nice words. In an unseen turn of events, our demonic head honcho Lucifer stepped in to save his daughter’s ass in the last moment. We’re also hearing reports that Adam, leader of the Angelic Legions, first man, and totally fuckable bad boy, has been slain by a filthy gardening demon or some shit like that. The kid said, quote, ‘I hate cameras, and TV here sucks, go away’ before threatening our crew! What an asshole! Anyway, congrats to Charlie and her crew for not being totally fucking useless for once.”
l
            Charlie held Keekee as she looked over the rubble that used to be the Hazbin Hotel. They’d lost so much, so many people. “Oh, there, there, it’s…” She sighed. “It’s okay.” She tried to believe it herself, but it was difficult.
            Angel smiled at her as he held Fat Nuggets. Charlie managed to smile back and took a step towards him. She found herself in front of the “Happy First Week!” sign she’d made for Pentious. Her heart ached at his loss. Vaggie put her hands on Charlie’s shoulders comfortingly.
(Charlie) “He did it for us, The ultimate sacrifice. He gave me his trust, And look how we pay the prince.”
            Tears gathered in her eyes. She had failed her friends. Because she hadn’t been strong enough, they had gotten hurt, killed.
(Charlie) “This bloodshed could have been avoided, If I convinced heaven to work together. I took a hotel, and I destroyed it, I know I could have done better, better, Instead of letting you down.”
            Lucifer put a hand on his daughter’s shoulder and smiled at her.
(Lucifer) “Come on little lady, why the frown? In the last ten thousand years, you’re the first one to change this town, You can do this, Now I know it, For your story has just begun, You can’t quit now, Hell, you owe it, There’s still damage to be undone, You’ve changed my mind, You’ve touched their hearts.”
            Charlie looked around as her friends approached with a smile.
(Lucifer) “Found the good in souls gone bad, The stage is wrecked, the crowd is gone, But by God Charlie, The show it must go on!”
            Her friends gathered around Charlie.
(Vaggie, Cherri, (Y/N), Angel, Husk, Niffty) “We can do this, We can build it! Best hotel that you’ve ever seen! Twice the bedrooms, We can fill it!” (Lucifer) “With more sinners than you can dream!” (Lucifer and Vaggie) “It starts with you!” (Vaggie, Cherri, (Y/N), Lucifer, Angel, Husk, Niffty) “You know it’s true, Fulfill your destiny!”
            They reached out their hands. Wiping her tears and smiling, Charlie stood and took her father’s hand as the group came together for a hug.
(Charlie) “So long as I’ve got all of you with me!”
            And so, the cleanup and work began. It was tough going, but everyone pitched in, and the hotel began to come together better than before.
(Niffty) “To build a hotel, I think we need some brick and lumber!” (Lucifer) “Good thing we’re in Hell, check out this little magic number.”
            He snapped his fingers, and the supplies appeared.
(Angel) “Start with foundation.” (Lucifer) “A remedial creation for me.”
            The foundation came together in a single spell.
(Niffty, Angel, Lucifer) “It’s as easy as can be!”
            Soon, the hotel was getting decorated, rooms ready to be stayed in.
(Charlie) “No time for cryin’, We got a lot of work to do and, We gotta try and make the best of what’s in ruins.” (Vaggie) “New coat of paint!” (Husk) “New lights across the marquee!” ((Y/N)) “With a little sorcery!”
            They waved a hand, and plants grew up around the hotel, decorating it with nature amongst the barren city that Pride usually was.
            Finally, the hotel was put back together, with a statue of Dazzle outside. Charlie smiled at the painting of Pentious and the Egg Bois going up in the foyer to honor his memory. The memories of who they lost would never be forgotten as a new era of the Hazbin Hotel approached.
(All) “We can do this!” (Charlie) “We can do this!” (All) “We’ll be better!” (Charlie) “We’ll be better!” (All) “Though redemption may take a while.” (Charlie) “Though it may take a while.” (All) “Wayward sinners, clear their ledger!”
            They came together for a hug, and a familiar face popped out of the shadows.
(Alastor) “And we’re doing it with a smile!”
            (Y/N) grinned. He was healed and back with them. He had survived, too.
(Charlie) “We’ll make a difference, wait and see.” (Charlie and Vaggie) “We’re gonna do this, you and me.” (All) “And then tomorrow it will be, A fuckin’ happy day in Hell!”
            The Hazbin Hotel was open for business.
l
            (Y/N) walked through the hotel to the new wing dedicated to Alastor’s broadcasts. Obviously, it was placed on the opposite side from Lucifer’s apple-themed wing. They paused at the door of the radio and knocked.
            “Alastor?” they called out.
            The door was opened by a shadow, and (Y/N) stepped inside. Alastor was standing over the controls of the new radio, examining everything.
            “Do you like it?” asked (Y/N), slightly nervous.
           Yes, they had faced Adam, but this was…different. It was a different type of encounter. With a fight, (Y/N) knew what it felt like to suffer, to go through pain, so they could handle that. With friendship, (Y/N) had very little experience, so they weren’t sure how to deal with it.
           Alastor turned to face them. “It seems Charlie did a good job ensuring this was up to my standards. My broadcasts will be quality, as usual.”
           “Charlie didn’t make it. Well, she helped, but I, uh, I did it,” said (Y/N).
           Alastor paused, and his grin, unbidden, widened. “You did?”
           (Y/N) nodded. “I saw your tower was affected when Adam hurt you, so when we rebuilt the hotel, I made sure there was something for you to come back to.”
   ��       “I hadn’t expected to have a broadcast tower at the hotel,” said Alastor.
           “Do you like it?” asked (Y/N).
           “I do,” said Alastor honestly.
           (Y/N) brightened. “I’m glad! And I’m glad you’re alright. Adam did a lot of damage to the hotel, killed Pentious, and hurt you pretty badly.”
           “It will take more than that to kill the Radio Demon,” said Alastor, but the unfortunate truth was that he had nearly died.
           “I faced him,” said (Y/N) suddenly.
           Alastor paused. “Oh?”
           “Yeah, I fought Adam. It didn’t go that well for me, either.” They grinned at him. “But I killed him. In the end, I killed him.” They stood proud in their strength and determination. Yes, (Y/N) had nearly fallen to Adam and Lucifer had really defeated him, but dealing the killing blow had given (Y/N) so much satisfaction.
           Alastor looked at (Y/N), and he cursed every part of him that still had some humanity since he felt something as they smiled at him. It wasn’t what he felt when Rosie laughed alongside him and teased him, but it held a familiar warmth. Although he had begun by seeing something in (Y/N) that reminded him of himself from oh-so long ago, Alastor couldn’t help but look at (Y/N) and just see them, now. It wasn’t them being like him, even if it still began there, but it was more.
           “I wouldn’t expect anything less of my protégé,” said Alastor, unable to keep the fondness completely out of his voice.
           Alastor was falling victim to all of the weaknesses he wanted to eliminate within himself.
           And (Y/N)? Well, the Nature Demon stood tall. They were growing into all the strength they had ever wished for.
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vssail · 1 day
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aventurine x fem! reader
warnings: boss x secretary, VERY out of character, reader is tired of avens gambling addiction
this is my first post here and also my first time trying to write something in english that isn't for school, so sorry if there are mistakes. hope someone likes it!
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Many times you regretted picking up this job.
It was the 10th missing call you left to Aventurine. As always, he didn't picked the phone.
Sighing, you got up from your confy bed. You didn't even bother to change to proper clothes, judging by the time, almost 3 am, everyone at the casino would be too drunk to notice some girl walking in there in sleeping clothes. Your priority right now was to take Aventurine out of there and go back to your confy bed.
After a short ride in your car, you got in that demonic place. The bright lights were blinding you. You really hated casinos.
You didn't have to search too much to find the man you were looking for. A fight in the poker table was the only necessary hint you needed to find your boss. When you reached the scene, it was the same as always: some looser that doesn't accept his bad luck.
"There's no way you won five rounds in a row!" a guy shouted while holding the little peacock of your boss by the shirt collar.
This always happened, and you always appeared to save him from a beating. But this night you were tired, tired of all the paperwork he gave you last minute, tires of staying up because he didn't want to pick his fucking phone, tired for having to take the car at 3 am and tired of seeing the same scene every freaking night.
He saw you behind the guy, and a proud smile appeared on his face, thinking that you were going to save him like always. You could see his face change when he saw the guy holding him and you not moving to stop him. In your mind, this would be a good lesson for him to stop his bad habits.
Then, the first punch came, making his glasses to fly away of his face. That was the fact that changed your decision of not doing anything. With his eyes exposed to the angry looser, what you expected that was going to be some punches was going to turn into another thing beyond a game.
"A damn Avgin, I knew you were a liar!" he said. You could see your boss looking for you while trying to recover from the punch.
"I'm gonna beat you so hard that you-" he stopped talking to scream in pain from your sudden grip on his arm.
"He what, little fucker?" You encouradged him to continue. Aventurine was suddenly at your side, with that horrible proud smile again in his face.
After giving the guy a little warning to never mess up with your boss, you let him go.
"For a moment I though you were going to let me on my own" he joked.
"I was" you simply said, getting out of that damn place. You knew he would follow you.
"What?!" he shouted, stopping you in the hall of the casino "Why would you let that man beat me up? You know that if I'm dead, you won't be paid, right?"
Before speaking, you took a long, long breath, so you wouldn't scream at him.
"In my contract there's nothing about saving my boss at 3 am in casinos" you breathed again ", there's nothing about risking my own life to save him from fights." you didn't breathe this time "Do you know how much I sleep beetwin finishing the work that you give me in the last minute and searching for you?! For the love of the Aeons, I'm a secretary! I shouldn't be beating people up for you!"
You didn't notice, but you started crying in the first sentence. And you wouldn't notice if he didn't wipe the tears at your cheeks. You were too angry to let him touch you, and tried to push him away, but he got close again and hugged you. This time, you just accepted the hug, but didn't hug him back.
"I didn't know I was causing you so much stress and trouble," he whispered in your ear "I'm sorry for everything"
"Being sorry isn't enough"
"I know, just as you know that I can't promise you to stop gambling" he separated from you to see your face, and took off his jacket to put it over you (you didn't realise you were trembling) "but I can promise you that I'll try to control myself"
You didn't reply, just buried your face on his neck and hug him.
"When I started working with you and saw you risking your life like it is nothing, I wonder if you knew what self-love is" you asked, holding him tighter
"Why would I care about risking my life when no one cares?"
"I'm gonna kill you" you broke the hug and prepared to beat him.
"Wait wait wait, it's not the same as what I mean" he got away from you "you only care because I'm your boss"
"You little..." you breathed to calm yourself down "If i only cared about you professionaly, I wouldn't go to casinos in the middle of the night in sleeping clothes only to look for you and make sure that you're okay. You don't pay me enough to do all that shit"
He seemed to think about what you said.
"Do you mean that you do that because you care about me?"
He looked at you like he just had discovered a whole new galaxy.
"Yes"
"In a loving way?"
"Maybe, can we go now?" you started to get embarassed of all this sudden confession.
"Wait" he holded you, one hand in your arm and other on your cheek "That means that I can kiss you?"
You easily got away from his hold.
"Yes, but not tonight" you started to go to your car, taking your keys to open it "You won't get a kiss until you return every missing call that I left you this week"
"Oh, common!" he run after you, unable to hold back the genuine smile that appeared in his face.
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I really went out of character but hope that someone likes this.
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wishfuldivine · 21 hours
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Gaz waiting for Ghost after a mission?
His heart was beating wildly within his chest. It had been six months, SIX months since he last saw Ghost. It was pure torture, not knowing where his whereabouts were. That was part of being in the Task Force.
There was no guarantee of ever coming back in one piece, which left him with pure dread when he was not assigned for it. But, he had full faith in his partner.
"Glad to have your man back, Garrick?" Laswell asked. She was standing right next to him, waiting for the team to arrive.
The said man chuckled with a smile, eyes on the incoming helo in the distance. His heart soared happily, knowing that Ghost was okay and would touch down soon.
"You have no idea. Six months is far too long for me, Laswell. I need him like my life depended." Gaz replied, his eyes never leaving the aircraft that was now nearer.
Laswell turned to look at Gaz and smiled. It was such a very shocking outcome when it came to the lieutenant and sergeant. She couldn't quite comprehend how was it that they ended up together. But she could SEE the happiness when in each other's presence. Even if there were times when they had to remain serious and focus on the tasks at hand, they always had an understanding. It made her happy to an extent.
"You don't have to worry about that now, Garrick. He's back and will receive the longest break that is well deserved."
Gaz only smiled warmly. He will have Ghost around much longer than before. They had plenty of time to do a lot of things. Travel, visit family, and vacation. Nothing as long as they're doing it together.
The helo touched down, their clothes moving swiftly to the wind created by the blades. Then, the sliding door opened, and a couple of Ghost's team stepped down. Gaz greeted them with a smile and a nod, glad to see everyone safe.
His eyes then landed on Ghost. The masked man looked menacing as ever, but his eyes expressed exhaustion. It made him want to hug the lieutenant tightly in comfort.
The taller man walked towards them and stopped right in front of Laswell, he offered the classified intel.
"Everything is there. It will be of great help now with all this information."
Laswell nodded and grabbed the documents from Ghost, then turned around to walk away to share the findings.
Gaz noticed how Ghost cleared his throat and stared at him. It was a little awkward, like not knowing how what to say or do. Then, suddenly, he was in his arms.
"I fucking missed you so much, love." Ghost's deep and tired voice spoke in his ear.
Gaz hugged him back, and a small sigh of relief escaped his lips. His mind was at ease completely.
"I missed you too. So fucking much, Si. I'm so proud of you for coming back in one piece. And taking such good care of your team. You did well." He said, feeling absolutely proud of him. His love growing even more.
"I promised you. I will always come back. For you. To you." Ghost replied, moving his head to press a soft kiss on the temple through the mask.
"I can't thank you enough. I love you, Si." Gaz said with so much love and devotion. He truly, madly, and deeply loved his man.
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groguspicklejar · 2 days
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tldr: due to my clinical depression and crippling anxiety, i got triggered by an optimist who didn't validate me in my moment of vulnerability.
don't read unless you want to see the ugly side of me.
i swear to god, optimistic people either scare me or annoy the fuck out of me.
and this is not coming from a place of like "oh, let me dampen this person's mood with my negative thoughts, opinions and feelings just for kicks" or "i genuinely hate this person's energy and i hope they die in a ditch" no. none of that. lemme explain.
mostly, it's coming from a place of "all of these atrocities happening around you and either choose blissful ignorance or you see them and your first thought is 'eh, it'll all work out in the end for us' is either slightly or extremely toxic in the sense of you become tone deaf to other people's negative thoughts, feelings and experiences, to the point where you might even completely disregard and invalidate them despite them being vulnerable and telling you very detailed and personal things about themselves" and i fucking hate you for it.
i think my mother is the same way but i can't exactly be sure because she's gaslighted me about certain things so many times into feeling like things weren't as bad as i made them seem when they really might have been three times as bad.
but this one guy, who's a friend of mine, really showed me that he has that exact mentality and i'm starting to hate him for it.
because how do you hear a friend of yours explain to you that their college experience wasn't as good as yours because it wasn't what they signed up for, they weren't physically, mentally, emotionally and financially prepared for it, so they had to drop out of college because they simply could not keep up with the standard required so now they don't miss any of that shit that they went through.
and your first response is "oh, give it a couple of months, you'll start to miss it😃" like—
bitch, shut up. SHUT THE FUCK UP. stop fucking talking right now before i go over there just to throw a cinderblock on your fucking face. repeatedly. until you stop fucking breathing. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.
i've never been more angry or just fucking done because i've been made to feel like shit every time i have to disclose the fact that i had to drop out of college because even though i explain from a to z of how it even got to that point, nobody seems to want to fucking hear me.
this guy finished college just recently, he was a year above me so he didn't go through the absurd changes in curriculum as i did so he doesn't even fucking know what i had to deal with. and i get that everyone is entitled to an opinion and you're allowed to disagree but to say "oh, you'll miss it" after i spent how many minutes of my life explaining how i got fucked over into wasting 3½ years of my life on a by a college system that wasn't completely transparent from the fucking beginning and chose to change things for the worst as time went on🚮
like at that point, just shut up. please. for the love of god. i've been bullied enough over this. i don't need to be gaslit into thinking i'll miss anything or anyone anymore. i'm so tired.
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finleyforevermore · 3 days
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Hey guys! How've we been since I've been away? Hm? Not good? Yeah, I thought so.
I was AFK (which means Away From Keyboard for those who weren't aware, or didn't think to Google it /nm) because my mom had taken away my phone for a bit but I could still use it to help with my math homework.
I did lurk around Tumblr a bit, and I did "officially" come back online for a bit, but I mostly lurked.
And how delightful it was to see (can not clarify enough how sarcastic this is) that someone I follow but am not moots with decided that March 20th was the day they were doing to commit suicide. They did not succeed. But they sure as hell scared the fuck out of me. Same story I've seen before with my other friends, abusive parental figure, and possibly SA'd like some of my other friends. Lovely.
And then ANOTHER friend as it turns out has an extremely abusive mother and got fucking strangled by aforementioned mother, then said in the posts of a vent post, "something something maybe she should've killed me".
Being technically AFK I had to go on anon for a bit and try my damndest to prove to my friend that their mother is beyond saving, and there's no use seeing her in a positive light, and they by no means deserve what happened to them. I don't know if it worked. If you see this, I'm sorry if I came off as rude. But that really was the straw that broke the camel's back.
I'd been trying to keep together fairly well but I had been thinking of Liam, Nex's death was ruled a suicide (and now his murderers will not be charged), all of my other friends are traumatized and now I've discovered another friend has an abusive parent, and someone tried to fucking kill themselves.
And so, we have this. This song has been my coping mechanism for the past several weeks and what I can best describe as my theme song. Whenever I see something tragic with either my friends or someone else my first thought is the words of this song. Largely because of the themes of getting salvation for the unjust wrongs done upon Sweeney or in this case my friends.
I really don't know why I was blessed to know such wonderful incredible beautiful people only for them to suffer relentlessly and have gallons upon gallons of trauma.
Do bad things happen? Sure. But with my friends it's non-stop. One traumatic event after another after another after another and I'm. Just so done. I'm so sick. And I'm so tired. Of everything. Of all the pain and suffering. Of the fact I can't do anything. Of the fact I feel too much. This probably shouldn't be impacting me so much but for some reason it is.
I would've been apprehensive posting this because I'm kind of self-conscious about my voice but some of my friends are suffering 24/7 so I think my voice is the last thing I should be worrying about.
Enjoy if you want. Or don't. That's ok too. Love you guys.
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k00sblogger · 7 hours
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ANYTHING FOR HIM (2)
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" have you no idea that you're in deep? "
Synopsis: 𝘈 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘫𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘬𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 from beginning to end 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘦𝘺es, and 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘢 𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘯 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘴𝘵.
Warnings: drug usage, cursing, sexual dream, fingering, abuse?, light gaslighting .
Pairing: Rockstar!jk x Fem!reader
Disclaimer: 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘥𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘴, 𝘪'𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘯𝘨𝘬𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘢 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦&𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭.
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My frail hands grip the sheets as i'm fucked harder and harder into the mattress, my face being pushed into it by the man behind me.
His muscular body leans over mine, his hips still rocking into me as i breathe heavily into the thick air. "Tell me you're mine, cmon y/n." he rasps out. It's like my ability to speak has been snatched from me as i try to stutter out some type of sentence.
"O-Oh fuck- i'm yours!" My palms began to hurt from how hard i was pulling on the clean white sheets. I look at the ceiling in front of me, my vision blurring as he countinues to pound into me- aiming to get both of us off at the same time.
"My good girl.. mine." the sounds of my ass continuously hitting against his bare thighs rings throughout the room, the sounds of my moans just slightly louder.
His hand comes up snug around my neck, pulling my back to his chest so he can be closer to me. I smell his scent immediately, the expensive cologne covering up the strong smell of sex.
I feel his breath tickle my ear as his thrusts grow slower, my walls hugging tight around his cock as i get closer and closer to my release. "Kiss me.." he utters, his voice right next to my ear.
As i turn my head to lean in for a kiss, i'm shocked at the face i see.
"Jungkook?"
...........
My eyes flutter open as i hear the agonizing beeping of my alarm. I groan as i turn over in my bed, aggressively hitting the tiny stop button on the pink clock. The time reading 11am.
Rubbing at my eyes, the memories of my dream come flooding into my mind. I shoot upwards, my eyes now wide open. The thought knocks the sleepiness right out of my tired body.
I dreamt. About. Jungkook.- holy fuck.
I couldn't lie, i was quite upset at myself. Obviously, i can't control my dreams but he hadn't texted or called me at all like he said he would- so why was i dreaming about him? The situation was disappointing to say the least.
Plus- I'd been keeping the events of the other weekend to myself. I refused to tell viv, she'd absolutely freak if i even told her i'd had a simple conversation with the guy. So, i forced myself to shut up about it.
Trying my best to brush off the dream, I get up and head into the bathroom, hoping a hot shower would clear my head.
The knob creaks when i turn it, the water beginning to pour from the shower head.
When my bathroom finally fills with steam, i decide it should be hot enough. Throwing my clothes off, i step in- the burning hot water coming in contact with my back. I fucking needed this.
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12 HOURS LATER... JK'S POV:
"How much for 3 ounces?" i ask, the cold wind blowing against my face as seojun digs through the duffel bag. Yes, he is my friend- but he's also my dealer.
Buying from him was like a routine. The exact day that i was running low- was when i'd see him again. Regardless of my want for the drugs he provided, i wasn't a addict. I could quit anytime i wanted, i didn't need it.
Yoongis low voice interrupts my thoughts as he stands to his feet, the tiny bags in the palm of his hand as he looks around as if he was skeptical of who could be watching. "You're good bro, i owe you." he mutters.
I nod as he discreetly passes the little bags to me, stuffing it into my pocket instantly. I'd lent him a pretty large amount of money last week, so now that i think about it- this would be just enough to cover it all.
We exchange a few more words before i toss my black hood back over my head and pull up my mask- walking back over to my car undetected.
When i get settled into the car i hear my phone ding, pulling it out to see it's just a random twitter notification. I think for a minute before unlocking my phone, clicking onto my messages and typing up the same number i'd contemplated calling multiple times this week.
Y/n.
She was a interesting girl, and i truly did mean to get back to her- i'd just gotten lost in a few recording sessions this week so i supposed i'd never really gotten to it.
The thought of her makes me think back to what happened backstage the past weekend. I close my eyes as i imagine her pretty body sitting on the couch again, all dressed up to come see me.
My dick hardens in my grey sweats, and i graze my palm over it as i open my eyes again. For a split second I think about jerking myself off in the car, but i change my mind when i realize how stupid the idea was.
I didn't know what it was, but something about her drew me in.
I'd had enough, i rub my index finger over my upper lip out of habit. Spending a insane amount of time thinking about what to text her before I finally type it out.
"You up?"
________________________________________
Y/N'S POV:
I peel my eyes away from the bright tv as I hear my phone ding. I roll my eyes in annoyance when i realize i left the device in my bathroom, and set my empty ice cream bowl to the side to head into the bathroom.
Oh fuck. As soon as I see the message i begin frantically typing a reply. Obviously i said yes, i mean.. who wouldn't?
As soon as the text sends, I throw my phone down and rush into my closet. What was cute, but also made it seem as if i wasn't trying super hard? I think for a moment before deciding on a pink mini skirt and lacey blouse.
It definitely was a major contrast to what he'd seen me in at his concert, but it'll do the job. That outfit didn't fit me well anyway.
I'd spent the next thirty minutes doing everything i could to look absolutely perfect. Shaving every single hair on my body, quickly applying makeup, and putting my clothes on- deciding that my hair was fine as it was.
I grow more nervous as time passes, waiting for a knock at my door. I even struggle not to bite my fingernails out of pure anxiousness.
As soon as my nerves begin to calm down, i hear it. Three knocks at my door, no doubt that it was him. I quickly stand to my feet, smoothing my hands down over my outfit to fix some of the small wrinkles before i head to my front door.
My hand sits on the door knob for a minute as i contemplate wether i should've done this or not. Either way, it was too late now- he was here.
Thinking no more, i swing the door open. My eyes meet his as he stands there, hood over his head and duffel bag in hand. "What's your bag for?" i manage to stutter out, and he glances at it as he lets out a quiet chortle.
"You gonna let me in before you question me sugar?" oh god, that nickname again. I don't stand in his way any longer and move aside to let him step inside.
I shut the door behind him when he's fully inside, watching as he quietly observes the apartment. I may have forgotten to mention how much time i put into cleaning my apartment before he got here as well. Clearly it pays off at least slightly, because i hear him whisper- "clean in here.. fits you."
After he takes a look around, we sit on the couch together. I watch as he pulls the duffel bag to his side, and i again wonder what he has inside of it.
"Did you miss me?" he asks, looking at me as he pulls his hood off of his head. I'm immediately taken back to the night we met, remembering how his hair fell perfectly right over his eyes.
"Umm.. i guess." my voice is awkward and timid as usual.
To my surprise, conversation flows smoothly after that. He'd had a way of making me comfortable with the way he spoke to me, and the things he'd asked me about. I'd almost forgotten we'd just met the other weekend.
Time flew by quick, and a hour later we found ourselves watching a movie together. My eyes find themself diverting back over to the duffel bag beside him, noticing how his arm is laying on it.
He obviously notices I'm staring, because he moves the bag between us. "Can i trust you sugar?" he removes his hoodie as he speaks, revealing the black tee under it. I take the time to look at his tattoos, my eyes trained on the letters engraved on his knuckles, and the images splayed over his entire arm.
"Can i?" he pulls me back to reality, and i look away from the bag and back into his eyes again. I nod my head, and he wastes no time in bringing his hand to the zipper- slowly unzipping the bag.
My eyes widen as he tilts the bag towards me so I can see the contents. It's filled to the brim with all sorts of drugs, some that i didn't even know the name of.
I immediately spot a bag filled of marijuana, tiny bags filled with an unknown powder, and random bottles filled with pills. As i look back up at him, his eyes scan mine- waiting for a reply.
"W-What's this for?" my stutter returns- I couldn't deny the fact that this was scary. Was jungkook not who I thought he was? Idiot me for trusting someone so easily, and letting him into my home at that. I wondered if the outcome would be the same if he wasn't famous, & he was just a normal guy. Would i still let him in so easily?
"I want you to try something." he utters, reaching his veiny hand into the bag and digging around. I don't know what the fuck i'd gotten myself into.
After a second of searching, he pulls out one of the smaller bags filled with powder.
"You want.. me to try that?" i let out a awkward laugh, but he doesn't laugh with me. In fact his expression is blank as he poors the powder onto the small wooden table in front of the couch.
"It's just cocaine." is all he says, beginning to use his card to sweep the powder into two fine lines
I begin to reminisce when i was a child, and told myself i'd never do drugs no matter what. What a fucking joke.
He tosses the card to the side when the lines are close to perfect, rubbing a comforting hand on my thigh. "Watch me okay?" nervousness boils in the pit of my stomach as i nod my head, i couldn't believe myself.
I watch attentively as he covers the left side of his nose and leans down to the table. He takes one big inhale and the powder is gone just like that. I'm not sure how to react, but i for sure didn't know if i wanted to do this.
He licks his lips as he slightly rubs at his nose- other than that he doesn't seem effected in the slightest. "Turn on some music."
I bite my lip as i grab the remote, clicking onto spotify. I press the first song i see, sex drugs etc by beach weather. How fucking ironic.
I set the remote back down after i do so and he sits up. "Your turn sugar." he gestures to the second line on the table, staring at me.
don't be a pussy, don't be a pussy, don't be a pussy.
I nervously scoot up, my ass on the edge of the couch. He places his cold hand on the back of my neck, slowly lowering my head down to the table.
I copy his movement and press my index finger to the left side of my nose. I snort the powder quickly, leaning up as my nose scrunches up. My eyes clamp shut at the slight burning sensation in my nose, but it disappears soon after.
He laughs at my reaction scooting closer to me as he moves my hair behind my ear. "Took it like a champ." he says, and i smile at the praise.
He kisses me without warning, his soft lips pressing against mine in a haste. He slips his tounge into my mouth the same way he did the first time we kissed. I relish in the way his hand sits on the back of my head, holding me there.
The tattooed hand caresses my thigh, not yet going past my skirt. I feel him smile into the kiss just before he pulls away, pushing me back to rest on the couch.
"Feelin' anything?" it's funny, because as soon as he asks me it hits me. It's hard to explain what i felt, the best way to describe it is simply disorienting. I'd never done such hard drugs, matter of fact- i'd never done drugs at all.
"I feel weird.." i mutter, helpless to be specific. The air in the room grew hot, and i keep my eyes on jungkook as he leans his head back to rest against the couch as well.
"You'll be alright sugar." his voice sounded loud and quiet at the same time. I stare up at the ceiling in a haze, my vision getting blurry as my eyes flutter closed.
Shit, was it wrong to say i kind of liked how the drug made me feel? I didn't know what it was about it, but i felt good. This was better than people made it seem, no wonder he had so much of it.
He presses my body closer to his, my head now lazily resting on his shoulder as i quietly breathe in and out. I didn't need to hear him say it to know he was enjoying the moment just as much as i was. I could simply feel it.
I listen to his heartbeat and smile, i didn't really care how long we'd known each other at this point- i was just happy he was here with me. His hand caresses my head, massaging my scalp as we lay together in silence. A sweet, comfortable silence.
Needless to say, the night was great. We layed together, ate together, had a pillow fight together, stayed up damn near all night.
In fact, we enjoyed it so much that we kept doing it. We never really put a label on what we were. I guess we were friends- but friends don't kiss do they? And friends don't touch each other the way jungkook touched me everytime he saw me.
This went on for at least a month. He'd come over, we'd snort whatever he had, and spend the rest of the night together. It was fun, but i knew what we're doing was bad- for the both of us.
That was why he was sitting at the edge of my bed now, weeks after the first time we'd done drugs together. Clearly clueless about what i was about to ask him.
"Why'd you call me here y/n?" he lights the cigarette in his hand and takes a long drag from it. I'd gotten used to him smoking in my house at this point, and i didn't really mind the smell as long as he sprayed air freshener around the room afterwards- which he promised to always do after smoking.
"Well.." i itch at my arm, i definitely was a little scared about asking him this. I mean- asking someone to quit a hard drug like cocaine was a big deal.
"I think we should stop doing coke-" i blurt out, if i waited any longer i wouldn't have the courage to ask any more. His head immediately pops up, pulling the cigarette away from his lips as he lets out a scoff.
I feel his sweet demeanor change as he turns to me, his tounge poking at the inside of his cheek. "We?" his voice is tense. Was he actually mad just because i asked?
"Well, yeah.." my voice trails off as i sit next to him on the bed. There's a awkward silence as he raises the cigarette up to his lips again, his eyebrows furrowed.
"Y/n-" he starts, "You can do whatever the fuck you want, i'm not gonna stop just because you want to." his voice is blunt. it kind of hurt in all honesty, but maybe i was just being sensitive.
"I know- i just.. i care for you and doing that isn't good for you, or me." i wasn't gonna give up, i refused to allow him to hurt himself using drugs any longer. I didn't wanna hurt myself using it anymore either.
He doesn't say anything to that, continuing to smoke his cigarette without a word. "Cmon, say something." still, he doesn't speak- smoking as if i wasn't even sitting right next to him.
"Just talk to me! You don't have to be a dick-" as soon as the vulgar word escape my mouth his hand shoves me forcefully. I cry out as my tailbone hits the solid floor of my bedroom. "The fuck is wrong with you- talking to me like that?"
His voice is harsh, he was being serious. If he was looking to shut me up that definitely did it. I don't say anything else as i lie on the floor, looking up at him with tears in my eyes.
When he notices a tear roll down my cheek, his face softens and he quickly pushes the cigarette into the ashtray. He comes to my side and caresses my cheek, wiping my tears away with his thumb.
"I..I'm sorry sugar, i didn't mean to hurt you..." his voice trails off as he looks at me, attempting to help me up. I still don't say anything, i'm not really quite sure how to react.
He helps me stand and immediately takes me into a hug, placing a protective hand on my head. I feel so stupid for feeling safe with him now that he's comforting me. But i know jungkook, he didn't mean to do that.
He moves me back a little to take a good look at my face, placing a soft kiss on my cheek. "Let me help you okay? It's okay." i nod and let him lead me into my bathroom, standing to the side as he flicks the light on.
I watch as he digs into my cabinet, grabbing the first aid kit. I make note of the fact that he knew where it was. It was crazy to me that he'd been to my apartment so much in such little time.
He gently bends me over the counter, grabbing the waistband of my white sweatpants and slightly lowering it. I hiss when the cloth goes over the bruise, and he mumbles a quiet "sorry."
The mark must've been bad, because he hisses when he sees it. He guides me to sit up without another word, not even bothering to try and bandage it. "Lets get you into the shower sugar."
I nod and let him take off my clothes, starting with my shirt as he slowly pulls it over my head. I was kind of nervous about him seeing my body naked for the first time, but my tailbone was hurting so badly i didn't even give it a second thought.
The rest of my clothes pile up on the floor in no time, and he walks me over to step under the shower head. I sigh in content as the warm water falls over my back, running down all the way to the bruise on my tailbone. It stings at first, but after a couple minutes it fades away.
He begins to wash my body with a soft towel, applying gentle pressure as he scrubs my skin. I'm silent as his hand trails down to my private area. I was embarrassed to say the least- but he just scrubs over it just as he did the rest of my body.
Soon enough he places the towel down, looking me up and down. "Can i make it up to you sugar?" oh fuck. I liked jungkook, don't get me wrong- but there was a reason we hadn't did anything too sexual yet.
I denied everytime it got close to the point. Of course i wanted to- i was just scared.
-But, i don't think i could hold off on it any longer, so i find myself telling him yes.
As soon as he gets some form of consent, he pull his clothes off and throws them into the same pile as mine. I try my best to avoid looking at the length of him when he steps into the shower. I don't avoid look at his toned abs though, finding myself staring at the small tattoo across his chest.
I don't have enough time to read it as he gently pushes my back to the shower wall, his long hand falling down to my clit. He's straight to the point as he begins rubbing over the swollen bud, drawing out a needy moan from me.
His eyes never leave mine, it was like he insisted on making me feel nervous. He presses a gentle kiss to my lips as he slips a finger in. When he pulls away he licks his lips, pushing his finger in and out of my sopping cunt.
"Need you to say you forgive me sugar'" his voice was soft, much different than the tone he used with me earlier. I couldn't find the words to speak, my mouth hanging open as his finger ruts in and out of me.
It hadn't even been two minutes, and i felt my orgasm creeping upon me. I hadn't had someone touch me like this in so long, the feeling was almost foreign.
"Say it." he says, his finger now covered in my slick. He kisses my bare chest, water from my skin now on his lips. "F-Fuck i forgive you!" i let out a whine as my orgasm washes over me.
I grab wrap my arms up around his neck as he finger fucks me through it, struggling to stay standing.
"Came so quick." he chuckles, and my face grows flushed. It was embarrassing as fuck.
After i visibly calm down, he pulls his finger out- dragging it up to his lips as he sucks my release off of his slender finger.
His thumb rubs at my cheek, looking at me with a sad look. "You know i wouldn't have pushed you if you didn't provoke me right?" my gaze turns down toward the drain as his other hand softly rubs at the bruise on my tailbone.
"Yeah- m' sorry." a part of me feels like he's kind of gaslighting me. All i did was ask him a question, and that provoked him to push me?
I brush the feeling off as his arms come around my wet body, standing still as he hugs me. I close my eyes to savor the moment, feeling somewhat happy that we made up.
"Cmon- lets get you into bed."
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dumplingsjinson · 2 days
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an update on cat guy because it's been a hot minute since i've done one, i think. i don't remember if i've talked about him lately so here goes.
i had a date with cat guy on monday night; met his extended family again for his cousin's birthdy party (which i was informed about ON MONDAY MORNING SO I WAS LIKE HUH), was somehow roped into being in some of the pictures as well so i'm like- oh. they remember me, but i don't remember their names lmfao weflnewklnf
i ended up staying over (like i've been doing literally every date now lmfao).
ANYYWAAYYY, we've been having this thing where tickle fights (started by my menace self) would turn into his face being so close to mine, and i'd have to resist the temptation to kiss him just because i love playfighting with him (because i know once i give in, he'd kiss me hard and wouldn't let me go for a damn while) even though it ends up with me losing EVERY TIME.
and i also just love hearing him laughing. like, sometimes he'd try to kiss me and i'd pretend to give in and then be like HAHA no- we STILL HAVE MORE OF THIS TO GO!
whenever i actually give up because i lowkey tired myself out with all the resisting, he'd move in closer and... well, yeah.
FORGIVE A GIRL FOR GIVING INTO THE TEMPTATION OF RELIEVING THAT SEXUAL TENSION OKAY.
(TMI below the line, if you don't want to see me share the details then spare yourself lmfao)
now that's out of the way.
things would get pretty hot and heavy (my question to him last night, verbatim, after we calmed down a little: "how do we always end up like this?" and mfer goes "is there a problem with that?" in his usual teasing tone while holding me even closer to him EVERY GOD DAMN TIME.
and no, i'm not complaining, because i have needs and wants and i am not someone who's afraid to admit that and usually i want that to happen which is why i start the tickle fights HAHAH
so that night, let's just say i was being a very needy lil shit (his thigh was involved) and i was like blabbering and being all like "this is so embarrassing" in a soft whine, and this man goes:
"it's so hot," in that husky voice of his.
FUCKING EXCUSE-
he also called me his good girl once again AND IT NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME FEEL SO SHY LKWENFWEKN
anyways.
after that first session (yes we had another one afterwards, stfu-), i was telling him how i wanna make him feel good too (he's always the one making me feel good and i felt so selfish for receiving so much and giving so little).
he proceeds to tell me, "you make me happy. i like making you feel good and as long as you feel good and you're happy, then i feel good, too."
and me, while stroking his hair and feeling guilty with the knowledge that he's usually the one giving, "but are you happy?" (and when i asked that, even though he already said i make him happy, i meant like... is he really happy?? considering how, in my head, he was giving so much and i wasn't returning much. not because i don't want to but because he never asks for much even when i straight up ask him what he wants me to do with him. i'm just someone who very easily doubts things).
and motherfucker on a truck (the sweetheart that he fucking is onrgklfnw), goes: "yeah. i'm happy when you're happy, because i love you so much" and lays his head on my chest and i'm likeee HELLLPPPPPP ofnewklnfw 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
after like a moment or two because my brain is a piece of laggy shit, i mutter a soft "i love you, too" and hold him closer to me bECAUSE I'M BAD AT EXPRESSING MY AFFECTIONS WITH WORDS AND SAYING I LOVE YOU IS NOT SOMETHING THAT NATURALLY COMES TO ME EVEN WHEN IT'S SAID TO ME FIRST OKAY, LEAVE ME ALONEEEEE
i've asked him plenty of times prior to this time what he wants me to do with him and it all boils down to this: he's someone who likes to please, rather than to be pleased.
which is fair enough, but i did tell him if he ever wants me to do anything, he can tell me.
but yeah. all this happened.
and i can't wait to see him again for his friend's birthday party, which he invited me to wlknfe
it's so funny bc i feel like i'm slowly entering his world and i'm part of his comfort zone now.
he's also an insufferable piece of shite and a right old prat at times, but i love him either way <3
he also did suggest something he's wanted to try but never got around to doing so after that talk of ours, which lead into the second session SAURRR
:))) i love him-
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backpackingspace · 11 months
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thinking about how for like the first two years of obi wans apprenticeship qui gon did not give a fuck what obi wan did (or even really what happened to him) before snapping out of it and realizing he was actually very much responsible for this child and course corrected into being a helicopter parent and how obi wan always read this as mistrust instead of concern and guilt.
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xxlovelynovaxx · 5 months
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[Img ID: post reading "it doesnt matter if we're feminine or masculine or androgynous. they'll want us dead anyway. THIS POST IS ABOUT TRANS MEN AND TRANSMASCULINE PEOPLE. DO NOT DERAIL. MAKE YOUR OWN POST." /end ID]
I think actually we've reached terminal selfishness and self-centeredness when "look basic transphobia. THIS IS ONLY ABOUT SOME TRANS PEOPLE. MAKE YOUR OWN POST" is considered acceptable behavior, like
1 this is the reblogging posts site. if you don't want it "derailed", turn off reblogs
2 it's not "derailing" to talk about experiencing the exact same type of oppression for the exact same reasons. like, this is tagged transandrophobia. y'know, the word coined to talk about oppression UNIQUE TO or MORE TYPICALLY EXPERIENCED by trans men and mascs? Like I know we're all super sensitive to "it's just transphobia" because bad faith actors use it to shut us up about our own oppression, but even if transandrophobia is ANY transphobia experienced by transmascs, this one is SO not unique and SO universal that calling other trans people "derailing" for daring to acknowledge they experience it is honestly transphobic itself
3. Are you being transmisogynistic or exorsexist it both? Do you find it offensive that a group even more erased than transmascs (trans people who are neither transfem nor transmasc) might "take the spotlight" by experiencing the same pain as you? Are you just mad that transfems suffer from hypervisibility (a key factor in transmisogyny, no less) that you're wrongly viewing as some sort of privilege?
Like this is the logical end conclusion of exclusion, separatism, and the idea that it's immoral or even just dickish to talk about SHARED experiences of oppression. Even those who aren't convinced that there's no overlap and oppression fits into neat little boxes based on your actual identity (and that people with multiple identities experience each oppression as discrete separate forms of violence OR a new unique form of oppression that no one else ever does) are like "I have the right to shut people out of a discussion of their own pain and trauma just because *I* experienced it for THIS reason
Like, I draw the line at someone saying anything more exclusionary than "oh I didn't name all groups that experience this because this was a more personal vent post, but please share your experiences because this isn't exclusive to us".
Idk I can't even articulate what's so gross and off-putting about this. But whatever, this intersex transneufemmasc is making their own post so they aren't (implied) transandrophobic by, idk, being transmasc but also other things and experiencing this same thing based on those other identities, or acknowledging that those other identities share these experiences in the absence of transmasculinity.
Also, nontransmasculine/non-trans-men experience transandrophobia, you fucking asshole. Transneutral, abinary/atrinary, neutrois, maverique, and other trans people that are seen as transmasc by bigots experience no material differences in the oppression they face. Their experiences are almost identical to yours - except they have to either be misgendered to be acknowledged or get erased. What functional difference do you think there is between an afab person pursuing what you forcibly label a "masculine" transition facing this exact shit, and you, other than that they respect your gender and you don't return the favor. Or you do, only to shut them out of a conversation that they have less of a voice in than you do.
That's just fucking transphobia. Fuck off.
If you're being so defensive over past trauma you bite people BEFORE you know they're unsafe, maybe you need to get a fucking grip.
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beecampbell · 2 months
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ok i'm not a bridgerton person so to say but i also totally am a bridgerton person and you know what i think is funny. how people reacted when it was first announced this would be Penelope's season. saying she wasn't leading lady material and they couldn't see a whole season about her and Colin. it's so fucking clear why someone would think that that it's not even satisfying to smack it back in their faces. why isn't she leading lady material? she's fucking lady whistledown, she's a barbie. if Nicola can't be a leading lady bc she's thicc with nice tits, what hope is there for us pasty bitches who are thicc and have nice tits I dare ask. if anything it makes her more likely to slay it in my eyes.
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theladysherlock · 9 months
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"Welcome to Lockwood & Co."
ID Under the Cut!
ID: A picture of Lucy Carlyle and Anthony Lockwood shaking hands in the living room of 35 Portland Row. Lucy has shoulder-length light brown hair and is wearing a black and blue bomber jacket, dark denim jeans, and black sneakers. Lockwood has short, dark brown hair and is wearing a black suit, a white button-up shirt, black dress shoes, and a black tie.
To the left of the two of them is a cluttered bookshelf filled with books of varying colors and sizes, some are lined up neatly and some are stacked up on top of each other. To the right of the bookshelf is a wooden mantle over an empty fireplace, with a large mirror above it. On either side of the mirror are two small sconces. To the right of the fireplace is a hutch, with tall upper cabinets and a small desk portion. The wallpaper is a decorative circular pattern with a beige and gold color palette.
End ID
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bionicbore · 1 year
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Y’know I kinda wanna elaborate on the HC I mentioned, where I said that if Donald hadn’t found out what Douglas was doing and intervened, Douglas would’ve eventually cracked and fessed up
Mostly I wanna elaborate that he wouldn’t have fessed up because of ethical guilt (though I do think he may have something somewhere inside him that would give a damn about ethics. He did seem pretty excited to do good things after all) but more because he’s got the emotional strength of a wet tissue and would feel personal guilt after getting so attached
I’m gonna put most of it under a cut ‘cause it turned into a full on Douglas study I guess
Like... obviously I’m prefacing this with it being my own interpretation of the guy, but Douglas was a pretty emotional dude in the show. His entire redemption was rooted in his emotional attachment to his family. His morals never 100% improved, and the growth we did see was almost entirely motivated by “My family won’t like me if I’m a bad guy :(”
And while he’s not a particularly GOOD dad, he is a dad. Literally every kid Douglas gets more than 2 minutes of screen time with, he goes into some kind of Dad Mode
So, the way I see it, I don’t think Douglas would’ve lasted if he got to keep the Rats for longer than he did. It’s never actually said how old the kids were when Donald found out, but they couldn’t have been older than like... 3? Tops? Possibly even younger, technically. If Douglas actually got to watch those kids grow up in whatever messed up environment he had them in to keep them hidden (Which, I’ll be honest- based on comparing the brothers’ lab quality, was probably a worse environment than Donald’s lab) I don’t think he would’ve been able to commit. Not with the original trio, anyway
ALSO. I wanna bring up Donald, ‘cause he’s also a factor in of himself
Yeah, the brothers fight a lot, and did fight a lot. But I think it’s worth remembering that despite that, these two founded a company together. They invented things together. They work together seamlessly when they get in the zone. Douglas, despite all the animosity, was ecstatic at the prospect of getting to work alongside his brother again, and was genuinely sad when Donald didn’t feel the same, but chose not to fight Donald’s decision
Douglas cares what Donald thinks of him, and I bet he cared a lot more before Donald discovered what was happening and made his own judgement call. The two of them had to have been incredibly close, and that probably would’ve weighed on Douglas, too
But Donald found out on his own, and he didn’t waste time. He saw the children, he saw the conditions, the plans, the schematics. There was absolutely no way to rationalize what was happening here, Donald had to get these kids out and away. His little brother was using their assets to make deals with terrorists regarding the creation of bioweapons in the form of children
And Douglas was left ghosted by the most consistent presence in his life for the past 20+ years, locked out of the company he helped build from nothing, and separated from these kids who have also been a consistent presence in his life for entirely different reasons
And Douglas is notorious for deflecting and pushing back when someone else decides that he’s in the wrong. All that potential turmoil means the time between Donald finding out and Douglas “dying” was probably like. Intense. To put it mildly
All this to say: Douglas is still a DICK lmao and the point of this post is NOT to be like “Douglas deserved better” or even “Donald is to blame.” It’s more about how Douglas is a notably emotion-driven character and how it affects his dynamics and actions, both positive and negative
It’s also my favorite kind of angst- where technically, things could have turned out okay, or at least better than they did, if everyone involved hadn’t been such a mess
#Lab Rats#Douglas Davenport#I'm only tagging Douglas 'cause he's the focal point but Donald does get a fair bit here#Anyway Douglas fascinates me 'cause like. I definitely don't want him or his actions to be underplayed#Like it really doesn't matter if he wouldn't have gone through with it. Especially not at the time everything happened#The fact that he got as far as he did is damning enough#But also he is SO pitiful and his emotional reliance on others is interesting#Especially in contrast to how nonchalant he tends to act#He's perfect for exploring how consequences effect someone#Which is why I draw him with such tired eyes and like to write him being Fucking Miserable#And I'll say it. Dude was a SOFTIE in the actual show#Seriously- in no particular order:#He made Chase some good soup. He went above and beyond to save Leo's arm. He gave every Rat a new ability for various reasons#He stood up for various kids on numerous occasions. He cried when Leo became an instructor#He saved a stray dog. He put a kid up for adoption to keep him safe.#He encouraged his robot son's passion for drama club. He actively helped Donald with the indestructible car#Look me in the eye. Make direct eye contact with me and tell me#That this man could raise 3 flesh and blood children from infancy#And simply pawn them off as disposable weaponry#You cannot convince me. Douglas Davenport is too pathetic to commit to that bit#He's willing to kill a kid but that goes out the fucking window if he spends more than 1 non-hostile hour with said kid#He acts like he hates his brother's guts but will literally drop it the minute Donald's nice to him in any capacity#... See now I went and wrote TWO essays#Kill me
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habsjost · 3 months
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I'm lucky to be alive.
This is the third time this year something dangerous happens to my car. Broken ball joints that could have derailed the car at any given moment. Mechanics left the battery completely loose, which could have caused an explosion had it touched anything. Went in for the winter tire change and they left one of the tires loose, which I could have lost this morning.
Three times this year I could have died just driving my car. Different mechanics each time and they all failed to do their job properly. Considering I take the highway every day and the awful winter conditions we get in Quebec, I don't even want to imagine the horrors that could have happened.
It's a privilege that I often take for granted to make it to work and back home safely. I'm grateful for the forces keeping me alive.
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feral-radfem · 1 year
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Hey if you're a non-radfem and you want to make a complaint that radical feminist critique keeps getting applied to you because you hang around radical feminist spaces here is my advice: leave.
Honestly, I'm so tired of seeing this shit. Go find some other places to hang out. I don't care that you came here because everyone else kicked you out for being a "transphobe". That does not make it our responsibility to soften our movement and our criticisms so that you feel comfortable in a movement you have no intention of of committing to. You are welcome here on the basis of being a woman, however, if you can't handle the feminist action that goes on in these spaces, then you need to leave. That is a you problem, not ours. I'm tired of hearing y'all whine that we don't coddle you enough and then adding anecdotal evidence of feminist harm or strawmen arguments for why you're justified in doing patriarchal actions were other women are not. There is not a single identifier or life experience you can tell me that is going to make me think that you deserve to be exempt from the same criticisms I would level at any other woman. If you're an adult, you should be mature enough to hear them. If you are not mature enough to hear feminist critique, you need to leave feminist spaces.
if you want to be self-serving, it is completely your right to do so. I've heard a number of you in passing claim that you "don't want to be feminist, you want to be people". Which, while that's an insulting sentiment as a feminist, just demonstrates that the only person y'all care about is yourself. You see being a person as inherently being self-serving and self-centered. First and foremost, it's all about you. That level of selfishness is pathetic and frowned upon in collective spaces. Feminism being one of them.
Just save us all the headache and go away. Y'all are one of the only groups of people on the internet who are able to piss me off in seconds, istg.
#lily responds#literally any of you who do not have a vested interest in the liberation of women refuse to do feminist action and#then still feel entitled to control how these space is function#f*** off. we have enough trouble holding spaces where we can have these discussions because we are feminist in the first place#we don't need a bunch of non-feminist women coming in and telling us that we are hurting their feelings and they#want us to do something about it. we're not doing s*** about it.#if you can't handle the fact that the things you're doing harm other women then stop f****** doing them#don't get mad at us because we're pointing out the damage you're doing and the damage in the messages you're helping perpetuate#you can log off and go experience all the spaces in the world that aren't made specifically for radical feminism#y'all hear that we're here to serve women in the effort to liberate all women and think that means we're here to serve you personally#I may be responding directly to a person regarding this soon but I'm so irritated I can't edit my post at the moment#I will make it clear here that I don't think every woman of the groups I just listed is doing this at all#I think it's a minority however I'm tired of these minority group of women using these identifiers to justify being a shit feminist#or justify why they don't have to be a feminist but should still have all the entitlement to the feminist spaces we create to talk about#our movement. these are feminist spaces first women's spaces secondary#I don't even know how to tag this because the specific people I want to reach is you fucking entitled ass orbiters#you who take advantage of the fact that we are welcoming to any woman to be divisive in our movement when you don't wish to be an activist#in the first place. or you want to claim the title alone and do good action but get us to stop criticizing ur anti-feminist actions#there's clearly enough of you that y'all can create your own gender critical non-feminist spaces. just leave us the f***#alone.#also when you use being gay as a justification for why you shouldn't have to be a feminist you make all us lesbian feminist look bad#there are plenty of feminists who recognized that we are women and therefore benefit from women's liberation#y'all are so f****** annoying#some of my tags may not make sense because I just listed just about every group of women there is realized I listed every group of women#and then erased it because I realized that was a lot of words for no reason so those are the identifiers I'm talking about in my tags
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the-elias-bias · 5 months
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this semester is going to be the death of me
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