#i'm honestly just making myself feel apathetic about it and i'm gonna move on | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

erebosblue · 1 year

Text

welcome to: I never post but I kinda want to sum up how I feel about (616) Peter Parker.

so, like. I've tried to do this many times and always end up coming short of fully explaining myself because I have ✨𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝒻𝑒𝑒𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈.✨

note: I have done an ass ton of research over my couple years of loving Spidey, but that does not mean I know everything. if something sounds wrong, it might be! I'm just a 17 year old idiot who got attached to an absolute mess of human being.

note #2: I am trying not to make this all about how much I dislike MCU Peter, but it will come up from time to time so just be aware of that.

first and foremost, I want to talk about comics as a whole. a lot of choices around characters have less to do with what a character would actually do and more what a writer wants or general comic/societal culture at the time. every character will be different depending on the writer and you're gonna make your own interpretation of a character from what you like. that doesn't mean certain things can't be out of character, just that a comic character can vary quite a bit depending on the person. that's part of the fun of comics tbh.

what I'm trying to say is that if my character analysis doesn't feel like it's what you read, it very well might not be and that's okay. Peter is a character that's been around since the 60's. he's developed over time and will continue to as time goes on. like, for instance, how he's changed from a high school kid trying to get by to a mid-to late twenties mentor for Miles (1610) and Gwen (65).

alright onto more interesting points. and actually a kinda heavily debated topic. whether Peter is a naturally good person or not. mainly this is just about his origin and how he really just straight did not care. honestly, part of the reason I really like how the comics did his origin is that he's not an self-absorbed prick. (even though it would be reasonable if he was considering he was 15.) he's more,,, jaded.

Peter was a social outcast his whole life. he didn't make any sort of friend until Freshman year. he's also super traumatized. his parents' death is kinda over-looked a lot, but it was shown that it really set in action his fear about everyone around him dying that has only gotten worse from, well, just that happening. he's shown in younger years to help people, and even in Freshman year he puts his safety on the line to make sure his bullies don't get stabbed by his friend, but he also kinda just,,, doesn't care.

personally, I really like characters that are inherently good people, but are limited by trauma making them apathetic. (ahem me with a male P3 protag icon.) not all trauma responses are loud or easy to fix. it's totally reasonable for Peter to close himself off from a world that has only been cruel to him, but the fact that moves past this? yes, it took a tragedy, but sometimes you need something big happening to realize.

Peter is inherently a good person, but he's also,,, short-sighted at times. he can royally fuck up because he was trying to do the right thing and just really missed the mark. but I honestly thinks this makes him more likable. intent doesn't change the affect, but if you're a vigilante, you're gonna fuck up from time to time. he's always been a hero grounded in reality and I don't think that makes him any less of a good person.

speaking of trauma, the fact that he hated working with other heroes for the longest time is mwah chef's kiss. mans did not make a real friend until college so, like, of course he's gonna have problems trusting other heroes. (especially since most heroes have tried to kill him but that's neither here nor there.)

this is one of the times I will be ragging on MCU Peter so skip to the next paragraph if you don't want that. there are many reasons not to like MCU Peter wanting to be an Avenger so goddamn bad, but one of the ones that irk me so much is the fact that it just gets rid of so much character development. 616 Peter had to learn how to trust heroes, to trust people, with something as serious as his life after being tormented by basically everyone that wasn't his caretakers. he now works with heroes just fine but like??? it's been a long ass time you can't just skip all that.

anyway, moving on. another thing I just fucking love about 616 Peter is how he is just a ball of fucking rage. this is basically never explored outside of 616 but it is genuinely one of my favorite parts of the comics. this man has been put through so many things and he is just so. done. like the canonical reason why him having Venom is a bad idea is because Venom specifically will go feral when their host is pissed and Peter is, to state again, a ball of rage.

like, yes, sometimes he doesn't kill because ✨moral compass✨ but more recently a lot of the times he hasn't is because The Giant Web That Holds The Entire Multiverse Together Said No.™️ I could make a whole post about how much I adore Spider-Totem stuff, and I just might, but my point is Peter is just done with shit and life in general and I love it.

this is so rambly and not gonna go over everything I want it to, but I'm gonna get powering on until I have to go to bed.

I also genuinely love how even though they will never come out and say Peter is any sort of queer of way, he is so queer-coded. his relationship with many of his male friends is fruity as FUCK and Peter straight wore a crop top with the word animal across it and booty shorts. (if you've never seen it, let me treat you.)

this hasn't even covered half of what I know I want to cover so let me speedrun some points before I literally pass out.

Peter "I'm partial to clones" Parker and his relationship with Kaine and Ben is my favorite relationship dynamic (/p) in all of 616. the fact that they are just absolute bastards to each other but only they are allowed to be. no one else can touch the others.

Peter's closest hero friendships being Daredevil, Wolverine, Johnny Storm (I can't remember his hero name right now I think I'm officially losing it,) and Deadpool is so fucking good. he just loves someone that he can argue with and that is also my ideal friendship. just absolutely besties and fuck with each other but will absolutely kill for each other.

I love Peter being a teacher and/or mentor SO MUCH. please I need more of it, no one appreciates how good of a teacher he is and it's mean. :(

his guilt. man as someone with an awful guilt complex I just,, adore his so much. the way that every other character is like "woah dude chill" is just so fucking funny to me as he mentally just shuts down because oh god how dare he not be perfect.

unrelated but the fact that Miles can tell the difference between how Peter and Ben talk is literally one of my favorite facts. like that says two things.

Miles knows Peter so well that he knows the way he talks and

Peter and Ben have become such different people that they talk with different speech patterns and/or in different tones of voice.

personally, I headcanon that Ben rambles more and talks in a higher register but kyldktdoy this is off topic- (I should make a Ben post too.)

okay, I'm delirious, the point is: Peter is a really interesting and good character and I love him so much. I personally resonate a lot with how he handles trauma and I think it's well done. but stldykd that's just me.

I'll add on later because I know I have more to say.

#marvel #marvel comics #spiderman #peter parker #616 peter parker #marvel 616 #miles molares #ben reilly #I mentioned those two enough I think #I think I'm gonna start posting my ramblings here #Peter is my little meow meow I love him #anti mcu #not like fully but-#I have *a lot* of gripes

28 notes · View notes

orbiting-star · 4 years

Text

Well cute girl officially doesn’t like me back so i’m gonna take the L with this one and just move on lol

#she's a good friend i'll leave it at that #it doesn't need to be more #i really liked her #but why would i ever believe that anyone could like me back when i look the way i do lol #i liked her so much i temporarily forgot i'm actually ugly and annoying as fuck #like why would i get false hope lol??#anyway! sounds like i'm spiralling!#i'm honestly just making myself feel apathetic about it and i'm gonna move on #i've done it before and i'll do it again lmao it's what i do best #just stop giving a shit until it sticks #i'm 99% sure she doesn't #i'm ace anyway she'd be happier with someone else #water fight m #random #for now i'm just gonna try my best to make her smile

1 note · View note

imagine-your-love-story · 2 years

Note

Random but I saw a post about self inserts. To bottle it down "why???? (/gen) self-inserting doesn't adds to the narrative???" - which wasn't malicious but damn it rubbed me the wrong way and I annoyed D: 1) Bold assumption I am not a foil to my f/o, thematically relevant to themes and/or overall my addition isn't crucial to what I am making (adding me literally change the whole genre of the source material into slice-of-life-comedy, in a way original cast couldn't be used bc I am methaphorically a clown unlished into a serious buisness meeting and that's why it works DFDFG) 2) Bold assumption narrative concerns me at all in the first place- In my case the goal is romantic feelings, affection and comfort. I cannot use any canon x canon to sumplement this bc I am highly apathetic with low empathy (my autism thing). Not like I feel myself ever represented by canon characters in *anything* anyway :| ALSO I've been also involuntarily socialy isolated from ppl for over 10 years (not going to end anytime soon either), the only ppl I have around is my neglectful mom and cat. And that's it. I live in a forest in the middle of nowhere. Not even neighbours. Our car broken down some time ago. Only mail gets here. One might only imagine how isolation and routine so extreme can fuck up a human, an extremely social being with social needs. I'm literally trying to keep myself sane here, narrative be damned- X'D 3) Also bold assumption that I like the rest of the cast of [source material], I want them to begone actually DFGF 4) Also I simply prefer to interact that way with media. It's fun to me. The same way I have a friend who hates anything self-inserty and always has to have a full-made protag (= not a fan of RPGs). And that should be all the explanation needed really :v

But sure, (gonna be salty 4 a sec) what a self-insert brings to *THE* narrative- since narrative must be upheld so highly and is (paraphrazing) "already complete with the original cast" :/ Honestly the assumption of ppl's s/is irrelevance here is somehow the most annoying. I've been through some bs alright. And I have some valuable things to say about it. I just don't want to do it by proxy of canon chara :/ And other ppl have complicated, deep inner lives (it feels insulting to imply otherwise ngl) so I assume same goes for others. And some ppl don't care at all bc they're just powerful and vibin' like that B) DFDF

(a me: @nekociapek / @ladynyat)

WHAT THE -

WHY would someone say that???? That’s ridiculous!! -_- I don’t understand why people post sh!t like that. Even if it’s not really malicious, it’s still kinda negative and they can just...not say anything! There’s PLENTY of stuff in fandom(s) that I don’t understand and/or like, but I don’t waste my time on it. I move on and focus on what I enjoy instead!

Anyway - mini rant over

....ACTUALLY I’M NOT DONE 😡

1. There is literally NO requirement that our interaction with media of any kind MUST add to the narrative! That’s like saying, “A hobby is a waste of time unless you’re making money at it.” (BIG NO) That makes it sound like if we have any interaction with media, it’s our DUTY to add to the narrative.

Heck no it’s not!

2. The ENTIRE point of storytelling is to make us think. To find a piece of ourselves in the narrative. So OF COURSE self-shipping DOES add to the narrative in some way! We’re literally inserting ourselves into the narrative and interacting with it, just like EVERY person does when they listen to/watch/read a story! As soon as we consume the story and expose ourselves to it, we’re interacting with it!

3. It doesn’t matter if it adds to the narrative or not. It doesn’t HAVE to add to the narrative. Self-shipping is literally not for anyone else except yourself. No, we’re not out here writing 100k AUs for some rando to read free (and then sh!t all over because “it’s not true to canon” or whatever 😒 ) Self-shipping is FOR YOU. Not anyone else. So it automatically adds to YOUR interpretation of the narrative!

4. Like you mentioned, canon often misses entire demographics. People aren’t seeing themselves represented in fiction so it’s THAT MUCH MORE IMPORTANT for EVERYONE to explore stories with a vision of themselves in mind in order to spread awareness and educate people.

I can’t tell your story. I haven’t lived your life. Likewise, you can’t tell my story because I’m the only one who has lived it. I know all the details of my story and you know all the details of your story.

Canon isn’t sacred ground that must remained untouched. At one time, it was just an idea, like the myriad of ideas rolling around in your head. Yes, the canon material managed to make it to a larger platform, i.e. Netflix, Hollywood, etc. But that really doesn’t make it any better than anyone else’s ideas. Mainstream media has had a LONG run of spreading narratives that are harmful - i.e. racism, fat shaming, etc. So it’s a damn good thing to NOT add to the narrative in some cases! :P

You have so many excellent points, lovely, and I’m so glad you shared your ask with me!! ♥♥♥ Fiction has provided understanding, acceptance, and some form of escape for centuries. Just one look at the oldest cave paintings in the world and you’ll see early artists painted hunters, LIKE THEMSELVES, into powerful stories of hunting bison and deer.

Fiction provides us sanctuary. It gives us a voice in this big world to say (and hear!) “You are not alone.”

Whether someone wants to interact with stories through self-inserts, original characters, RPGs, you name it - it’s all a celebration of storytelling! ♥

#asks #anonymous #nekociapek #ladynyat

15 notes · View notes

xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Seventy-Nine

Words: 4.1k

Warning(s): explicit language, violence, explicit sexual situations, substance abuse, mentions of assault

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @edwardtriggerhandzz @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @xpoisonousrosesx @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @liith-ium @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels @ytwahsog @scarecrowmax @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @cruecifymesixx @meetthesixxter @sublimeprincesswasteland @arianareirg @girlnight-terror

@fancywasmyname1 @teller258316 @ggorehorror @blowinmeupwithherlove @xrosegoldwolfx @mylifeisjustafeverdream @redlipscrystalskies14 @str4nge-haze @reigns420 @sixxseconds2love @leatherandheels @dogmom2014 @allyouneedislove-mp3 @n0-self-c0ntro1 @viinceneil

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

I hum along to the Christmas music softly playing over the speakers of the grocery store as I walk down the aisles, pushing my buggy, looking at the different types of cereal.

Nikki doesn't like sweet cereals aside from Captain Crunch, so I just grab a box of it before heading to grab toilet paper and paper towels, along with some eggs, and head to the checkout line, my attention stalling on a tabloid on display.

"Nikki Sixx & Vanity: Their 'Friendship' Timeline," it reads, a picture of Vanity and Nikki plastered on the front...I exhale sharply.

I can't believe it's been four months since Vanity aired out their dirty laundry on TV.

That means Duff and I have been together for three and a half months...

I'm quickly backing up and walking to the sexual health section, examining the many brands of pregnancy tests.

I grab the cheapest and go back to the line.

"I told them not to put those out," my cashier states to me when it's my turn, as she sees me give another glance to the magazine with my husband and his mistress on the front.

When she gets to the pregnancy test, she clears her throat.

"Celebratory or...?" She asks, swiping the test.

I pretend I don't hear her.

I shut my trunk, my arms wrapped around grocery bags as I step to the front door, of the house, the sun setting through the neighborhood, and I sigh heavily as I grab my key.

I haven't been home in a couple days, avoiding Nikki as much as I can, but I know we need groceries in the house and I know he hasn't left to get any, and even though I'm done with him, I don't want him to starve or something.

Opening the front door, the house is a wreck just from a glance, and I quietly shut the door in case he's asleep, and head to the kitchen.

I quickly stop in my tracks when I see through the dim light, coming from the single lamp in the foyer, figures moving in the living room, a light littering of giggles flittering through the air…

I turn the lights on, nearly dropping the groceries to see eight girls in lingerie, girls at least in their late teens, piled on Nikki—and Steven—lips swollen from making out with each other and euphoric glows casting over all of them.

I'm at a loss for words.

Nikki and Steven just look at me, Steven looking like a guilty kid.

"Is that your wife?" One of the girls straddling Nikki asks, looking at me, wide eyed.

"Ex-wife." I correct her.

This is where the story tends to get misconstrued. If you ask Nikki or Steven what happened, they'll tell you it went down like this…

"Vivian put the fuckin' gun down!" Nikki yells at me as I hold his shotgun, the girls screaming and scattering like roaches while he and Steven run to the backyard as I pump a bullet into the chamber and fire off, missing them by a couple inches as our wall by the back door is blown to hell, chasing after them and emptying the gun in our backyard whilst trying to shoot them.

What actually happened…

"Get out of my house." I tell the girls harshly and they look at me, pissy.

"If I want them here, they can be here." Nikki argues.

"They're babies, Nikki!" I shout, and the girls all defensively simultaneously let out their ages, ranging between 18 to 20, but I honestly don't see how some of them are over 17. "Then let me see your ID." I tell them.

"We came to hook up, we didn't come to get interrogated." One of them states.

"Okay, well, you've had your fifteen minutes with Nikki Sixx so you can get out of my house." I repeat.

"Fuck off!" She exclaims to me and I raise my brows.

Fuck it.

I go to our bedroom and grab what I need, and I don't give anybody a warning before firing off shotgun shrapnel into our glass ceiling, shards of mirror raining down as I hear the girls holler and cry out in fear, scampering to the door in their heels, and once the gun is unloaded, I look in the living room and see fluffy black and blonde hair peek up from behind the couch, their eyes bugging, pupils taking up most of their eye.

When the cops showed up, I said I accidentally fired into the ceiling while trying to clean the gun. They were fans of Nikki so they didn't give us a fine for public disturbance, and they didn't ask why eight girls were in our lawn in lingerie, either.

"I cannot believe you." I grit through my teeth when Steven blocks my entrance into their rehearsal studio, his heavy panting clouding the words trying to come from his mouth. "Did you run here?!" I exclaim and he nods, still trying to catch his breath, still trying to get his apology out that I can't even hear because he's talking but not saying a word due to his breathing. "Moron." I hiss, shoving him out of my way to get inside.

"Viv, wait!" He musters out, following me.

"Fuck you!" I shout.

"Vivian, please, let me—" he gasps for breath some more.

"—I hope you're having an asthma attack or something, I really do, dumbass, I really do." I march away from him and he grabs my wrist, a pathetic look on his face.

"Look—"

"—No, you 'look,' I refuse to be the little bitch that just lays on her back and let's everybody fuck her to hell with their bullshit. It's gross and it's disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself for even being apart of it, Steven, because I thought you wouldn't do that shit to me. Just 'haha it's so hot to do stupid shit that'll hurt Vivian,'" I mock his voice, and he tries to talk again, "No, just shut up and go suck on Nikki's balls some more because I don't think those teenage girls did it enough!" I turn on my heel go to find the guys.

"You're not mad about their age, you're mad Nikki didn't give a fuck." He gets out, taking deep breaths and I stop and turn to look at him, rolling my jaw. "You're jealous, and you know you are, and it's okay and normal to be, Viv, I know you still—"

"—Know I still what, Steven? Hmm? Love him?" I furrow my brows, stepping to him, my heels clicking on the floor when I get face to face to him, our nose nearly touching, my voice shaking with anger as I say, "He could die tomorrow and I wouldn't give a single fuck because he's been dead to me for months. And as of right now, you are to. So don't come at with me trying to strike up some empathy for a person I feel absolutely apathetic about." I sneer quietly, turning. "And stay away from teenagers. I don't care if they're eighteen or nineteen, they're still fucking kids."

I grind my teeth together as I leave him standing in the hallway before I try to go into the girls bathroom, only for it to be locked.

"Damn it." I mumble, holding back tears, glancing at the door of the boys bathroom.

Without shit given, I open the door and walk in, seeing Izzy standing over the toilet, cigarette in his mouth, peeing.

He glances over his shoulder and looks at me.

"Viv." He says the best he can, smoke puffing past his lips.

"Izzy." I reply, sitting my purse on the sink, digging through it. "Sorry, the girls bathroom was taken." I mumble.

"No problem." He replies. "Not like you haven't seen it before." He adds and I roll my eyes.

"Unfortunately." I sigh out, grabbing the box with the pregnancy test in it. "Hurry up, please."

He looks at me to say something smart back, but looks at the box and his face falls.

"Jesus fuck, Viv, what do you have that for?" He asks me.

"Okay, I know you went to high school in Indiana and their version of Sex Education was just ways to stick your dick in a pickup truck's tail pipe without getting carbon monoxide poisoning, but when a man and woman have sex, they have a risk of procreation." I tell him.

"With Duff? " He asks me with a confused face.

"No, I got Bret Michaels and Willie Nelson to cum in a cup and I mixed it together and went from there." I sarcastically hiss.

"Fuck you, smart ass, I was asking a legitimate question." He zips his pants back up and steps aside for me.

"Yes, with Duff. I haven't had sex with Nikki in months." I tell him.

"Sorry, I didn't know if you were doing them both or what." He shrugs and I glare at him.

"No. I'm not." I inform him, pulling my dress up and my panties down.

"Okay, that's my cue." He says, turning away from me, in reference to my naked bottom half.

"Not like you haven't seen it before." I repeat what he said earlier and he chuckles, going to open the door. "You're leaving?" I ask him, quickly, and he looks at me.

"Yeah?"

"I need support." I tell him, honestly sounding scared and he leans his head back and rubs his eyes.

"Vivian, babe, I can just go get Duff—"

"—No, no, he doesn't need to know I even think I'm pregnant." I state, panicked. "Look, it'll take a few minutes but I can't wait for the result by myself, it'll drive me up the wall." I plead with him.

"Well, what if you are pregnant, are you gonna tell him, then?"

"I-I don't know." I admit. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there just, please, stay in here with me."

He lets out a heavy breath before nodding, rubbing his forehead.

"Alright, alright. Just piss on the stick because I'm missing rehearsal for this."

It was an agonizing wait, but once Izzy glanced at his watch and said, "alright, it's been long enough," I felt like it had only been a few seconds.

"Maybe we should a wait a little bit more." I suggest.

"Viv, it's been ten minutes. You already put it off once before, come on, now. Cowgirl up." He tells me.

"Okay." I breathe out, anxious, rubbing my lips together and shakily reaching for the test before quickly snatching away. "I can't do it." I say to him, shaking my head. "You look at it and tell me."

"Vivian—"

"—Please?" I beg, giving him my best puppy dog eyes and he lets out a breath and reaches for the test, looking at it, nodding a little.

"Well, Stripey, we're at the bridge, how're you gonna cross it?" He asks me, handing me the test, and I see a perfectly shaped "+" on it.

I started to panic, and think irrationally, as I do when I'm backed into a corner. So in my panicked state, the best thing I saw for me to do, was...

"You are fucking insane." He tells me sharply, leaning against the sink. "Like evil insane."

"Izzy, I don't know what else to do aside from just get rid of it or hope and pray I miscarry, and that's kinda fucked." I explain, holding back tears.

"You want to fuck Nikki and just play it off as his—that's more fucked up than praying the damn thing away!" He whipser yells. "And what about Duff? What the hell happens to him when you pull that shit?"

"I don't know, Izzy, alright? But he doesn't need a kid to worry about when he's just starting to get a taste of what he's wanted for years, now, and I don't want to—"

"—He's going to be fucked up with the idea of you still screwing Nikki when he's under the impression that you two are gonna be this magical little fairytale of unicorns and sparkles and love and shit, Vivian!"

"I know, but I don't know what else to do!" I reply in the same tone.

"Oh, my God." Izzy exhales smoke from his fresh cigarette. "You can't tell me this shit. You shouldn't have even let me know about this because now I'm a fucking accomplice to your batshit crazy scheme." He scolds me.

"Izzy—"

"—You are the fucking devil, Vivian. Axl was right. You are the actual devil."

"Well, you tell me what to do, Izzy, because that's the only thing I can come up with!"

"Why does it matter if the child is Nikki's or not, you two are getting divorced anyway, so why does it matter if it's somebody else's?" He questions, and I stay quiet. "You are filing for divorce, right?"

More silence.

"Oh. My. God."

"Izz—"

"—Will you quit incriminating me with you when you do stupid shit?!" He lets out, slightly panicking. "Now im gonna be fucked sideways if they find out I knew and never said anythi--why the fuck were you even screwing Duff if you weren't a thousand percent sure you were gonna leave Nikki?!"

"Because I thought I was but no—"

"—Izz, you alright?!"

"Duff." Izzy mouths to me. "Shhhit."

"Answer him." I mouth back.

"Yeah, man, I'm good...just really, um, fucked on that pizza from earlier!" He lies as I shove the pregnancy test box back in my purse along with the test, and zip it up.

"Okay, dude, just making sure!" Duff replies, the sound of him walking away letting us know the coast is clear.

Just to make sure Izzy sticks his head out of the door, and glances at me.

"Go," he motions and I do. "Last door on the left of that hall." He adds and I go in that direction, opening the door and seeing Axl, Duff, Slash and even Steven has joined them.

"Hey," Duff's face lights up when he sees me, and be puts his bass down as I walk to him.

He wraps an arm around my waist and leans in, pressing a chaste kiss to my lips.

"Hi," I smile when he pulls away, looking into his eyes, while I can see Izzy staring at me from the corner of my eye, taking a drink from his cup with this look on his face like I've just killed his best friend.

I honestly might if I'm not careful.

Once their rehearsal is over, it's around 5:00pm, and my stomach is killing me.

"Can we get food?" I ask him, my hand in his as we step to the parkinglot.

"No, I'm just gonna let you starve." He sarcastically lets out and I cut my eyes up at him. "Where do you wanna eat?" He asks next, letting my hand go so he can grab his pack of Marlboros and settle one between his lips, lighting it, before grabbing my hand again.

"I don't know." I shrug.

"I thought you said you're hungry." He says next.

"I am—that doesn't mean I know what I want to eat." I add and he just looks at me.

"Do you want a burger?" He suggests and I wrinkle my nose. "Okay...chicken?" Again, I don't look pleased. "Dennys?"

"That's fine with me." I nod.

"Thank God." He sighs. "My car or yours?" He asks next.

"Doesn't matter." I tell him.

"Alright, we'll take mine." He says, stepping to the passenger side, opening the door for me without a second thought.

"Aww," Slash says as he comes out of the building, teasing Duff from behind his shades and his own cigarette.

Duff just smiles and flips him off, walking to the driver's side.

"I'll see you later tonight, man!" Slash calls.

"Alright!" Duff says back, shutting the door, fumbling for his keys to put them into the ignition.

"You guys are going out tonight?" I ask him as he cranks the car.

"Yeah, you can come." He offers and I shake my head a little.

"Um, I was actually gonna go visit with Sharise and Skylar for a few hours, tonight." I tell him.

(Pt. 79 CONT.)

#gateway drug #nikki sixx #mötley crüe #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction

28 notes · View notes

haikyuu-matches · 4 years

Note

🦚 3/3.) Um so I believe in soulmate. I'd like to have someone who can understand me and love me as a whole. Someone that will treasured me, spoiled me, basically just showered me with their love. Honest- loyal- funny- kind, those are the thing that I'm looking for in a partner. I'm a touch-starved person so I always want their full attention, I won't ask for it first tho- I'm just gonna wait and sulk 😅 Wheew thats it, hope you don't mind with long desc, thank youuu ❤ p.s : I can't anon this:(

🦚2/3). Move on to my personality, I'm an enfp, taurus and gryffindor. I love to talk, and yes I am loud (I can be sarcastic sometimes) 😅 Despite being a happy go around type of girl, I actually have a lot of insecurity. I hate myself and got depressed easily, but I'm good at hiding it behind my clownery haha. I love singing, playing games, sleeping and tarot reading. I'm shy to people that I found attractive and I'm a hopeless romantic. So to sum it up I am pretty childish wheeee 🤸🏻‍♀️

#🦚 1/3 ). Hey hey! can I ask for a romantic match up ? 🥺 I'm an 159cm omnisex asian girl. I'm chubby so I look smol. long black wavy hair and I always let it down. People say I look rude and cold so they are afraid to befriend me first (some even hates me for no reason), istg its only my resting bih face (but yes I can fight, verbally and physically.) I don't care about style or brand, I only wear comfortable clothes that looks good on me. I love perfume, so yes I smelled good.

˚✶⋆｡˚☆ﾟ✦

hey, you lovely bean ! just wanna say that i’m so grateful for your patience & i truly hope you like your match !! (´｡• ▽ •｡`)

˚✶⋆｡˚☆ﾟ✦

i match you up with . . . 𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐎 𝐓𝐄𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐔 !!

firstly, i just want to say that i really think you’d fit kuroo’s type -- with your long wavy hair & your smol stature. right off the bat, he’d think you’re adorable.

the fact you smell good all the time?? like, not to be creepy but he legit can tell when you’re around because he notices the exact perfume you’re sporting (he’s observant like that) & honestly the scent becomes comforting to him--

i headcanon that once you guys become that cute couple, he will for sure initiate that back hug, which consists of him pulling you, from behind, so very close to him & the next thing you know, he’s resting his chin on your shoulder, nuzzling you & slightly breathing in your scent at the same time??

you smell irresistible okay, how could he not-

on a different note, kuroo is the type to look beyond any preconceptions surrounding anyone, including you; he has high interpersonal intelligence (surprise surprise jk), so he’ll disregard any badmouthing & see for himself who you truly are. like, people hating others before they even know them? yeah, that’s lame.

to sum it up, kuroo doesn’t regret meeting you. he’s still a little taken aback by the fact that people are hating you & saying you look rude ‘n cold?? just . . . how is that possible? last he checked, you seemed shy. . . at least to him, but overall, a total happy-go-lucky sort of girl!

in all reality, maybe you do have a resting bih face, but the thing is he’s kind of immune to that? kuroo doesn’t really take it as you look irritated; he’s used to kenma’s apathetic-looking face & he knows that sometimes people can’t help but look the way they do? he concludes that even if you did have a rbf, it’s unintentional & doesn’t represent you as a whole by any means.

he’s not one to judge appearances anyway-- he gets a lot of shade thrown his way for his “rooster head” & the belief he’s a “sly and scheming captain.” he can relate to the fact of being kinder or just overall different than what the exterior image seems to show. with that said, however, he will be mildly surprised by the fact you can fight?? in his book, that’s pretty neat & he’ll probably try to flirt by saying he can fight, too. fight for you that is-

back to the topic of appearances, even if you do see yourself as “chubby”, kuroo would shower you with love regardless.

kuroo doesn’t discriminate & he’d treat you like a queen that you are. you’re looking for someone who will treasure you? spoil you? understand you? just love you for all that you are worth?? look no further, kuroo is your guy !!

kuroo really checks off all your boxes for what you’re looking for in a partner because he’ll definitely make you feel whole. also taurus x scorpio is cute. as mentioned before, he’s observant & while he’s not, by any means, perfect, he’ll strive to put you first & put a smile on your face.

he’s still kuroo, so i mean, at times it’ll be a trial and error kind of thing (perhaps his provoking nature being the perpetrator in fights), but he’s more intuitive than he may appear?? so, he’ll reconcile & apologize when it’s needed; he’s not that kind of prideful to refuse to talk things out.

kuroo will also take note of your insecurity & how you use your clownery as a mechanism to hide this aspect of yourself. you best believe he will be that supportive boyfriend. especially when it’s just the two of you, he won’t hesitate in speaking his truths whether it be saying how you’re amazing and you’re beautiful and he’s so lucky to have you or just gushing about your overall being, from your endearing personality to your cool hobbies (like the fact you sing?? so darn impressive--)

he’s actually more sweet than people give him credit for--

in any case, he simps hard when you’re smiling or just laughing or just have that joyful look on your face-- he wants you to always be in happy spirits. . . at the very least when you’re around him, but for now, he’ll lightheartedly tease you & basically relish in you fighting back with your own words & sarcastic comments.

it’s his funny way of showing that he cares about you.

you two never shut up by the way. like, the art of conversation? you guys take it to the next level. you probably engage in the most randomest of conversations, and yet you two just don’t tire of speaking to one another?? like the flow of conversation just works with you two & you’ll find yourselves talking for hours but it feels like not a minute has past!

this is probably due to kuroo being like a lowkey nerd with big-brain tendencies & you being so gifted at talking (because you love doing so).

side note, kuroo will even be open to talking about tarot cards with you despite his initial suspicion- it just goes to show he’s not that well-versed in the subject, but he’d be eager to learn since you’re into that.

since you won’t outwardly ask for affection or attention, he’ll end up picking up on those small cues over time. if you seem at all restless or have that sulking expression, he’d have that smirk of his grace his features because you look so flipping cute. but not to fear, he’ll then be quick to draw you in for a cuddle sesh if you’re hanging at home or if you’re out in public, he doesn’t mind initiating that kind of pda where he just embraces you, wrapping his arms around you tightly because it’s a way for him to showcase how much he truly loves you.

do it back to him & he melts-- he’ll basically combust if you surprise him like that because he doesn’t realize how much he loves you showing your affection toward him, with his heart beating irregularly and such.

i feel like kuroo can be kind of doting?? even if you’re pretty childish, he honestly wouldn’t mind because you just give him a sense of purpose. like, he can naturally fulfill the role of protecting you & giving you the love you deserve. it’s not to say he’ll baby you per say, but he harbors a sense of protectiveness when it comes to you, which he may not even realize at first.

basically, under the veneer of his teasing personality lies his caring & warm nature. the kind that you are looking for!

he’s totally soft for you & he’ll admit that he would probably do anything for you if you’d say the word.

you probably won’t (at least at first), but that’s okay because he’ll figure it out.

honestly your relationship with kuroo would just consist of you two hanging out, enjoying each other’s company, and just doing those cute couple things. you two probably learn new things about each other every day... but anyway, you two could honestly just be out and about & people will be out here jealous of that because you two look like soulmates adjksdljgl. it’d be so cute !

possible runner-ups:

daichi sawamura

osamu miya

˚✶⋆｡˚☆ﾟ✦

— lily ! ♡

#hq matchup #haikyuu matchups #hq matchups #haikyuu matchup #ask box #matchup #hq #haikyuu #request #kuroo tetsuro #osamu miya #daichi sawamura

20 notes · View notes

growingupautie · 4 years

Text

StoryTime: All That and a Bag of...

At my previous job, I and a coworker or two would often grab lunch at a local restaurant. Usually, it was just me and one other guy thought. Sometimes we'd go to the pizza place. Sometimes the Chinese place down the street. There were a few good spots but we went to them all the time so they got pretty boring. Isn't it funny how when you finally have access to almost any food, you end up feeling like nothing sounds good and taking it for granted?

One day, most of my coworkers were busy, and my go-to guy told me he had errands to run. I drove by the Chinese place we usually go to and parked my car. But as I got out, I saw the Subway next to it and decided that since nobody ever wanted to go there, I would do that instead. I closed my car door and felt someone watching behind me. It felt like they were ready to make their move and ambush me with something but there was a distinct lack of a feeling of ill-intent.

I started to rush off toward the entrance as I hear from the watcher behind me "HEY! Hey man! Can you uh...I don't get paid for two weeks and I just started a new job...Can you buy me lunch and I'll pay you back?" I look back and see an older man in his late 30's sitting in his beat-up work truck wearing a neon work vest frantically awaiting my answer. "Uh..." I said, not really wanting to interact with anyone that day but feeling like I was long overdue for a good deed. "Sure, man...Come on."

He said "Are you serious?! Thank you. Oh, God. Thank you. God Bless you." and he leaped out of his truck, and threw the door shut running toward me. He held the door open for me and said "I'll pay you back. I promise." When I do things like this for people, I don't really want to be paid back and as I told him, it "wouldn't be much of a good deed if I did." He thanked me with an oddly frantic nature and seemed to almost get teary-eyed.

I thought to myself about how rare kindness must be to him if that small amount elicited that response. Then I realized that it most certainly was to me, and that's about the same amount of kindness it would take to move me as well. "I haven't eaten in a few days..." he told me. "I just started this new job, and I'm in a bad way until I get paid." He added. As his words hit me I said with a somewhat heavier heart. "Well, you're eating today, man. Get whatever you want.

The person in line ahead of us turned around and mean mugged him, and looked at me as if to say I was being scammed. That the guy was just in it for a free meal. Honestly, He could've been right in that moment for all I knew. But the truth is, I didn't care. I'd rather it be a free food scam than any other type because it's still a good deed done in the name of goodness.

But at the same time, I felt like this guy was either legitimate or extremely exaggerating his actions to seem that way. Either way, I didn't care. And because of that, the joke would be on him if he was lying. He ordered a 6-inch sandwich, and I told him to make it a foot long if he hadn't eaten in so long. He almost broke down again but snapped out of it, and changed his order.

He added chips and a drink to it, but only after I insisted. Further taking away the idea that this was all a scam to get free food. He picked his sandwich and drink up and looked like he was ready to walk out. "Do you mind if I eat with you?" he asked me. I was taken aback. Most of the time when I had bought someone lunch over the years they either doubled their order, left as soon as it was ready, or both. "Uh...Yeah, man. Sure." I told him.

We went and sat down and he thanked me again frantically for the food. Then he pulled the sandwich out and started literally scarfing it down in front of me. And I mean scarfing. And for a brief moment, I thought to myself "Who eats like that?" until it clicked in my head that only someone who hadn't eaten a meal in a long time would... I immediately felt horrible. "How long has it been?" I asked. "Um...Been a few days. Maybe Saturday?" It was Tuesday.

"I'm sorry, my brother. I didn't realize how bad it was." I told him as tears burned in my eyes burning my nostrils as I was overcome with emotion. He told me he understood, and I did more than anyone else did for him. I explained my stance on doing the good for the good and he told me again he would pay me back. "No, my brother. I never expected you to. That's the whole point. His eyes welled up more than they had before as he kept eating.

"My wife left us..." he said. "us?" I asked seeing what I was assuming was his wedding ring on his necklace and worrying about his answer. "Yeah, me and my little boy. She left us, and went to Louisiana." (I believe) he told me. "She took almost everything with her leaving me broke, and without any way to provide for my son." He took another bite and continued. "I just started this job, and it pays good. But I ain't gonna see a dime until next Thursday."

I asked him when the last time his son ate was, and he told me he had been going without so he could feed his son. I believe he said he could only afford ramen and hot dog weiners and was making his son that. I had always wanted to be a dad and I didn't really have the best examples growing up. At that time I was questioning ability to be a father.

Kandace and I were either planning to or trying to conceive, at the time and all I could think was being in a situation where I couldn't afford to take care of my son and what that must be doing to him. Much less foregoing food for himself to do what little he could. Thinking about it now as a father makes the emotion so much worse but at that moment it nearly broke my heart.

He didn't ask me for money. He told me he was going to find a way to get some groceries. That he didn't have anything to sell, but he would find a way. He nearly finished his entire sandwich by that time, and I asked why he was eating so quickly. He told me he had spent 30 minutes of his 60-minute lunch break asking people outside to buy him lunch so he didn't black out at work with no food.

In that moment...I had had enough. I wasn't going to put up with a situation like that that I had the power to change. I packed the rest of my sandwich up to take to work and said. "My brother. I know you don't have much time left but can you follow me to the Grocery store real quick?" He said "uh..sure" unsure of why I would ask him that. He followed me over to the ATM directly inside and upon realizing where we were said "I...No, my brother. You've already helped me enough."

"My brother..." I told him. "I don't trust these humans out here to help you, and I'm not going to let a hard-working single father and his son starve. It's just not going to happen." He started actually crying at that point and I did all I could not to do the same. I pulled out what I could afford to give him.

The number is not important, and I can't remember anyway, but it's not as much as I wanted to give him. I told him that I hoped what I gave him would get him through to payday and he hugged me (After asking.) I told him they would be ok and that we was an amazing father to sacrifice for his son like he had. The kind of father many kids unfortunately never had. I knew he needed to hear that and I'm glad I said it.

He kept trying to tell me he wanted to pay me back. And in the end, I finally told him how he could. "When you are on your feet and can afford to. Find someone who needs help like you did, and help them." I said. "That's what I'm doing now, and that's why I'm doing it. I continued.

As an Autistic adult, I came from a place where nobody would hire me, and no matter what I tried to make money, I fell flat on my face. I have been plagued with bad luck most of my life and have often felt cursed, so when I finally get on my feet and out of the bad times and see someone struggling to do the same just like I did, my first thought isn't to judge them or tell them to pull themselves up. It's to help them up.

He was a single dad with a new job trying to do right by his son. He was pulling himself up. But he needed help. Sometimes when people help themselves up, they still need a hand. And in a world of apathetic "not my problem" attitudes. Be that hand. Be that hand in spite of the judgmental onlookers, and naysayers. Yes. Guard yourself against being used, and abused but do what you can afford to do to help make their world, and by extension the rest of the world a better place.

And wherever you are, my brother, if you are by some random happenstance reading this. I hope you and yours are as well as me and mine. Thank you for being a shining example of fatherhood in a time where I was questioning my ability to be one.

-Nathan Alan McConnell

---

Hell me make more content more often at PAYPAL.ME/GROWINGUPASPIE and PATREON.COM/IRISHWOLFPRODUCTIONS

#autistic #neurodivergent #storytime #father #fatherhood #fathersonlove #autism #actuallyautistic #actually autistic

63 notes · View notes