Tumgik
#i'm just gonna die with a bunch of past lovers or almost lovers in me and they'll never know
n3mulass · 4 years
Text
when FOALS said
Tumblr media Tumblr media
and Art School Girlfriend said
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I felt a sense of calm
0 notes
farfromsugafanfic · 3 years
Text
Sutures - Chapter 12: Cardioplegia
Tumblr media
Genre: Soulmates AU, Idiots to Lovers, slight Enemies to Lovers
Pairing: Yoongi/Named Reader
Warnings (chapter specific): mentions of family member death, medical procedures, ANGST, hospitalization, references to memory loss
Synopsis: “A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.” –Jean de la Fontaine
There was only one thing you and Min Yoongi had in common that night. You were both brokenhearted. You only intended to be together for one night, but when you both end up in the hospital the next day you discover that you are soulmates. It could kill you to be apart. As you and Yoongi attempt to sever the bond between you, will another be formed?
Note: Before y’all demand my head on a stick for this ending, please note that there is an epilogue and bonus part still to come.
Previous | Series Masterlist | Next
Tumblr media
"Min Yoongi? Jang Sumi?" the doctor asked, carrying a clipboard in his hand. "So, I hear you have some concerns you need to discuss with me?" 
You recognized the doctor from when you'd ended up in the hospital after the night you met Yoongi. He seemed to be the only soulmate bonding specialist in the whole city and your stomach turned. You wanted your needles.
"Yes," Yoongi said. "You see, an urgent family matter has come up for Sumi and she has to fly to the US as soon as possible." The doctor nodded. "The issue is that due to my schedule, I can't go with her. I know you said there were exemptions for work, do you think this would cover that?" 
"It's hard to know," the doctor said. "It's possible you would have no problems as the conflict involves your work. But, for Sumi, there's nothing obligating her beyond the love for her family. I fear it would be risky. We wouldn't know until Sumi is on the plane and if you both have a reaction, it's likely Sumi wouldn't be able to get to a hospital in time." 
"Then, no," Yoongi said. "What are the other options?"
"Wait," you said, touching Yoongi's bicep lightly. "What are the chances I have a reaction on the plane?" 
"I'd say a 70% chance you react, 30% you don't. If it'd been over a year since you'd met, it would probably be 50/50. As the years go by, reactions become less likely. At least in the limited experience and research, we have from soulmate couples. Every couple is different."
"I'm willing to take the chance. Maybe we could hire a doctor to fly with me--" 
Yoongi's hand shot to grip your thigh cutting off your words as your jeans rubbed against your skin where his fingertips touched. Even with the fabric between his skin and yours, it still felt like sitting too close to a fire. The sparks flying just over your head. 
The doctor arched his eyebrow. "There aren't a ton of options. We are researching drugs right now to help curb reactions in situations like this, but since the reactions are individualized in some ways, it makes it hard to develop one drug that will work for all."
"I can come with you," Yoongi said, "It's the only option." You saw in the way his lips were in a slight frown that his thoughts were racing. His voice quieted. "And you'll need me."
"Yoongi, I-I don't know how long I'm going stay. You can't stay forever and I might."
Yoongi's eyebrows rose as his lips fell into a frown. "You want to stay?" 
You felt the atmosphere lose color. The vibrant scene slowly turning black and white. Yoongi's hand still rested on your leg like it belonged there. 
"I could teach Korean. Do translation work. I don't know. But, I miss my family and knowing things can happen so quickly and I could lose them, I just..." Unlike all the other times, there were no tears. You couldn't cry over this. You wanted to cry, grab the closest objects and fling them at the wall until they dented it, or at least chipped the paint. You wanted to grab Yoongi and kiss him, tear off his shirt, pull on his hair. But you couldn't. The only thing you could do was sit and listen to the doctor say you had to choose.
"Can we talk about this privately?"
"Before you make any decisions," the doctor said. "I should inform you that we have been working on an experimental cure. We haven't tested it on any human subjects yet, but we could use you if you consent. We can't guarantee it will work, but if it does, it would solve your problems. We don't know what side effects would be, but we would keep you for 24 hours for monitoring." 
"Is it safe?"
"We believe it is. We've done animal trials and while they don't have soulmate connections like you do, they have not shown any side effects that we're concerned about." The doctor stood up to leave. "I'll give you some time. I know this isn't an easy decision, so take your time." 
Once the door closed, you and Yoongi turned towards each other, your knees knocking together. His hands found yours, but you felt his gaze on your face which was angled downward, your eyes focusing on the way his thumb moved slowly over your knuckles.
"Yoongi, I don't know what to do. I need to see my grandma. I wish this wasn't so complicated and I'm scared cause what if the cure doesn't work or it gives us weird side effects. I mean, technically we could die. Yoongi, what do I do? I'm gonna lose my grandma. I-I don't want to lose you too."
"Hey, hey," he said, letting go of your heads and pulling you into his chest. You heard his heart beating against your ear and how his fingers shook slightly as he ran them over your hair. "It's going to be okay. Let's just think about this." 
He was silent for a few moments. You didn't even hear the doctors and nurses rushing past the room or the beat of your hearts. 
"We were working to sever this anyway. We won't lose each other. I'll still be here for you. You can still call or visit. I'm just concerned if something bad happens with the cure. Are you willing to risk everything for your grandmother?" 
"Yes, of course." 
“Then, we'll try it. I want you to be happy, Sumi. I want you to be able to see your grandmother, okay?" 
You nodded. "Are you sure this is what you want?" 
"If it's what you want, then I'm sure." 
"Yoongi, I'm sorry. I know you--" 
"Shh," he said, smoothing down your hair and bunching it up and curling it around his fingers. "Let's just enjoy this last moment, yeah?" 
You burrowed into Yoongi's chest. You would truly miss his warmth, the way his heart beat in time with yours, how he noticed when you were anxious, and handed you your needles. You weren't sure someone like him would ever walk into your life again. And here you were, allowing him to walk out.
---
"Thanks for coming," the doctor said, nodding towards Namjoon and Eunji who stood off to the side, sharing furrowed brows and concerned glances between you and Yoongi. "Since we don't exactly know what state they'll be in after this we want to make sure they have someone to look after them after."
While the doctor continued explaining worrisome symptoms and aftercare protocol, Yoongi turned towards you and grabbed your hand, slipping a folded piece of paper into it. You flashed him an odd look before pulling your hand away and unfolding the paper, finding a plane ticket to Los Angeles. 
"I've made the arrangements. If you miss that flight, I'll get you on the next."
"Yoongi, you didn't--" 
"Yeah, I did. Now, you don't have to worry, okay?
The doctor finished talking to Namjoon and Eunji and turned towards you. "Are you ready? We need to induce a reaction for this to work, so I've made arrangements for one of you to receive the treatment at another hospital nearby. Which one--" 
"I'll go." Yoongi got off the bed and met your eyes. You'd already said goodbye, but it didn't feel like enough. There was a chance one or both of you could die. That it wouldn't work at all. There was an even greater chance that it would work and all the things you felt for the man in front of you would dissipate like fog in the afternoon. 
You'd miss the way you longed to run your hands through his hair. How your stomach flipped when he smiled at you or the way you felt his touch linger long after he pulled away. The way he could calm you with just a look or how he allowed you to fiddle with his fingers when you didn't have your needles. 
"Bye, Sumi. Call me whenever you need to, okay?"
You nodded and clasped your hands together tightly. He leaned forward and pressed his lips gently to your forehead and left the room before he could look back. 
Namjoon met your eyes and offered a sad smile. "Take care, Sumi." 
"You too, Namjoon." 
Namjoon followed after Yoongi and it was just you, Eunji, and the doctor. "Once her symptoms begin, we'll administer the cure. We'll then just monitor her for any reaction and go from there." 
Ten minutes later, it started. You felt the tightness in your chest, sweat pricking at your hairline, and your legs were restless, wanting to move wherever Yoongi was. 
"Eunji, hold her hands, help keep her still." 
Eunji was hesitant, but she walked over and held your arms flat against the bed. "It's gonna be okay, Sumi. Just breathe, okay? Just keep breathing." 
You flinched as you felt the needle in your arm and fluid spilling into your bloodstream. It was hot--not hot enough to burn--but almost. Your heart slowed, but your breathing didn't catch up. 
"Sumi, how are you feeling? Are you okay?" the doctor asked. You could vaguely make out the two figures hovering over you. Your vision went black around the edges and your legs went numb. You felt yourself falling and the two figures became smaller and smaller.
---
You woke up. White sheets surrounded you and the room was dark except for the light peeking in from the hallway outside. You heard Eunji in the hallway. It sounded like she was talking on the phone as you didn't hear another voice. 
"What do you mean, Namjoon?" Her voice sounded distressed. Worried. 
You glanced down at the IV in your arm. Your head hurt and you couldn't remember why you were here or how you got there. How long had you been here?
"He-he's okay, though? I mean, other than--"
Eunji's voice was now hushed. You strained to hear, but the machines connected to you began to beep. Eunji rushed back into the room, flipping on the light.
"Sumi!" Before you could blink she had her head pressed to your chest and was hugging you the best she could without disturbing all the needles and cords attached to your body. "When you passed out I thought you were going to die and I didn't know what was going to do without my best friend."
"Eunji--what--what happened? Who's Namjoon?" 
Eunji's face fell. "Oh, uh, that's not important. Let me get the doctor."
---
The doctor examined you. His eyes caught yours, a sad look crossing over them momentarily before he pulled away. 
“You seem perfectly healthy," he said. "I'm going to discharge you, but if you start having odd symptoms of any kind get to an emergency room. Okay?"
You nodded, not fully understanding. "Wait, how long has it been? How long have I been here?"
"It's only been a few hours, why?" 
"My grandma," you said. "I need to get to the airport and get a ticket and--"
Eunji reached into her purse and pulled out a slip of paper. "You have a ticket. The flight's in a few hours. If you hurry you can make it. I'll send your stuff along later." 
"You didn't buy this, did you?" 
"No, Yoo--you really don't remember?" 
"Eunji, what aren't you telling me?"
Your friend glanced over at the doctor who mouthed something you couldn't make out. 
"It's not important right now," Eunji said. "Come on, you need to get to the airport if you want to get to the airport on time."
---
"I'll miss you," you said, pulling Eunji in for a hug. "I'll call you when I can."
"Take it easy, okay? You just got out of the hospital." 
"I still don't remember what happened, Eunji. Why can't just tell me? Was it an accident? I must've hit my head." 
"The doctor thinks it'd be too stressful on you right now. Maybe I'll tell you someday, okay? Just go be with your grandma." 
You nodded, even though you overflowed with questions, something made you feel at peace as you stepped onto the plane and into your window seat. Normally, this is when you'd begin feeling sick. You settled into your seat and pulled your flannel closer around you. You didn't remember owning a flannel with the sleeves cut off. It must be one of Minki's old ones that you'd stolen, but for some reason, it kept you calm as the plane rocketed off the runway and into the air.
THE END 
40 notes · View notes
agoddamn · 4 years
Note
I'm interested in how Fates does different storytelling from other games in the series and how a mystery writer influences it. I'm not a big fan of Fates hate and I love how the character designs inform the characters so much...but I struggle to like the story of Fates itself. I'm admittedly someone who plays super casual. I like doing as many supports in games to get character interactions/backstories, which is hard to do in Nohr storyline. I had a hard time getting past the whole (1/2)
“If we tell anyone Garon is an evil fake, we’ll die” Like that feels like weak writing. Which isn’t fair to hold against all of Fates, but really put me out of the story. I want to like Fates, but things keep pushing me against it. Is there a way I should approach it differently? (2/2)
The first thing I wanna say is that sometimes a story isn't for you and there's nothing at all wrong with that. There's nothing necessarily wrong with either you or the piece of media you're trying to get into if it just doesn't click with you.
I think it's important to look at Fates as a character-driven story, first and foremost. You ever watch, I dunno, Power Rangers or something? I'm not saying that Fates is Saban-level storytelling, but it's something where your attention is on what the characters are going through moreso than the details of how every gadget works.
Mystery writers tend to dispense only the details you absolutely need to tell the story. Even your red herrings should mean something, not be wasted space. Clues are disguised as basic elements you're supposed to overlook, so spewing loads of irrelevant information at the reader just isn't...artful, for lack of a better word. You want your readers to be making sensible deductions, not drowning under unrelated noise. 
So, because Fates is a character-driven story, a lot of the setting is informed by implication; the writer isn't going to hand you a list of Nohr's resources, but he expects you to notice that only Nohr uses heavy armor. He expects you to notice that the Nohrsibs are used to lying to their father to protect themselves and realize the nightmare of their family life without having to say "Garon is abusive".
It's also possibly relevant--though this is totally me spitballing--that Japan, as both a culture and language, is really into being oblique. You are literally encouraged to drop subjects and objects from sentences because the listener should know what you're talking about by context. Look at haiku--purposely limited amounts of information communicating almost entirely through symbolism and intertextuality.
Or the story about the translator who said that it wasn't appropriate to translate "I love you" to Japanese because it's too direct, and instead "the moon is beautiful" should be used. It communicates the sentiment through contextual clues (you are supposed to imagine lovers walking together on a moonlit night), which is much more appropriate to Japanese. So this might also partly be a Japanese storytelling thing that comes across much more strongly in Fates than other games because Kibayashi is much more dyed in literary experience.
Third is that Fates has a genuinely bad localization, like, Christ. You take a character-driven game and remove ⅔ of the character dialog? Yeah, that's gonna fuck some things up! 
There were also "localization choices" to make several elements of the game more consumable that also tore up the character drama. They downplayed the trauma of the Nohrsibs by rewriting Xander as a friendly, relatable big brother, which fundamentally ruins the tension of the Nohr family because Marx is supposed to be faintly scary.
The Nohrsibs are fundamentally abused children, and Marx, as the oldest, is the one most mired in his inability to confront that. He's the guy who's told in chapter 2 to execute his younger sibling and just goes "welp...guess I gotta". You are supposed to be worried throughout the game that he's going to side with Garon when the chips go down. But this makes him sound like a pussy, I guess, so they added a bunch of lines where early/midgame/support Xander explicitly says he wants to rebel against Garon--which confuses the shit out of the emotional arc of Conquest.
This is partly why the "we can't tell anyone about Garon because reasons" thing sounds so cheap to you. To be clear, I also find the crystal-of-plot-revealing-you-can-only-use-once pretty damn lame, but the underlying emotional tension there is supposed to be "we genuinely don't know if Marx or any of the other siblings will side with us against Garon". But you can't have that when Xander has already been established as a nice big bro who totally wants to take out Garon.
On the Hoshido side, they "edited" out mentions of explicit systemic sexism, I guess because sexism bad? But that sexism informs the bitter tragedy of "Queen Hinoka" and other female characters, where the English rewrite of "Hinoka had already decided that if Ryouma died she would pass up the throne" makes her sound selfish and lazy (not to mention callous, like you already were planning what you'd do if your brother died? Yeesh).
And in general a lot of jokes/purposely goofy lines were added, which is another thing that dilutes the character-driven moments.
Finally I do freely admit that it's a game with writing issues. It relies on plot devices like the Rainbow Sage or whatever's in Aqua's pockets too much, the kids are non-canon, and the earlygame is a bit too fast. These aren't dealbreakers for me, but they might be for you, and there's not really anything to do about that except suggesting you approach from a different angle.
So I guess my recommendations are these: try to think of it first and foremost as a character-driven story, a playground for these characters to express themselves and show emotion; check out some supports you don't have the energy to grind out on YouTube (all the royal ones are extremely good, and most of the C-A ones are great); and try looking up some of the translations of cut lines, which can sometimes give you a much more rounded understanding of a character. The fan translations tend to be on the dry side because they're being written by normal people without any kind of overseeing editor, so cut them a little slack for that, too.
70 notes · View notes
the-settingsun · 4 years
Text
We're all gonna die - Edward Nygma x reader. Songfic
Please listen to the song as you read.
Quick songfic about my dear Eddie. Because he needs to be protected. My precisious baby boy. Feel free to request and give feedback I'd appreciate it. Also I dont proofread so point out any mistakes to me.
Tumblr media
Gif credit to the owner.
Warnings : Blood, mentions of abuse, injuries.
The evil it spread like a fever ahead
,,What can be lost but never found?" Your boyfriend yelled at you while he took another bottle of alcohol and drank it in one go. The thunder encouraged him to put down the bottle on the small wooden table beside the window. He slowly started approaching you, you were expecting him to insult you again and his words schocked you. He wiped his nose with his hand and smirked ,,Do you like riddles?" He fake frowned ,,Or just the riddle man?". You froze, he found out about Eddie. Only man who treat you right. The GCPD was a pretty small after all. You knew what was this man infront of you capable of. ,,Please dont hurt him" you whispered looking down at your bare legs. ,,Honey, you know its for your own good" he purred into your ear. ,, Please stop" you said as quietly as possible. There was no point in fighting him, he always got what he wanted.
It was night when you died, my firefly.
After he was done with you he left like always. Broken glass, broken furniture and broken bones.
You didnt feel anything, your body wasnt yours anymore, your mind was black. But oh the floor the cold floor that make your skin crawl. Was is the floor or the blood? No one can tell. Cold, as the raging storm outside. The thunders couldnt be heard anymore but the lightning helped you see, always for a split second.
What could I have said to raise you from the dead?
Oh could I be the sky on the Fourth of July?
As you watched the same picture appear before you for hours you gave up. The pain was not worth it. It was time to move on, past the small ligh provided by your eyes that got already used to the dark. You were ready to see the light. It was silence, you cried softly as you slowly pulled your hand from the wound caused by the glass shards.With the very last strenght you had you managed to reach broken table, with one leg missing. Your whole body weight was now relying on it. The crimson shined for a brief moment, another lightning. You fell again getting tiny pieces of wood stuck in your already bloody arm. The pain kicked in as you tried to reach the phone. Every step you took was followed by lightning, displaying the silluettes of broken window on the floor beneath your feet. You reached the phone and pushed yourself against the wall. Looking at your wound and bloody hands putting pressure on it. You sensed you had last few moment infrotn of you. And so you dialed the number
Edward Nygma
1234567891011
Call
Text
Well you do enough talk
The moment you heard the dial tone you broke down. There was so much you didnt do in life, you wanted to
tell Edward everything, have amazing dates, help your daughter with her boyfriends, cry during your son's wedding. But now it was all gone in the clouds. ,, Hello this is Ed.Im sorry I cant currently talk leave a message" you put the phone down on the ground anf sighted.
My little hawk, why do you cry?
,
,Ed? Are you th-there?" Your lips slowly moved ,, (Y/N) is that you? Whats wrong? Where are you? Are you hurt" Ed spoke quickly through the screen. ,,Im home, I dont have much time, I-I-I think I-I'll die Ed. Im afraid" you heard him curse quietly,the some rumbling and door opening. Meanwhile you tried to adjust your position but your hand couldnt support you. So you sat there against cabinet slowly bleeding, looking at the ceiling above, clutching your stomach. You couldnt make out anything from the call except : Jim, help and Ed's panicking voice ,,(Y/N) talk to me please)"
Tell me what did you learn from the Tillamook burn?
Or the Fourth of July?
You glanced at the clock, it was past midnight. ,,Ed can you believe it? I made it to another day" you chuckled and hissed in pain right after. ,,(Y/N) please hang on, Im coming, the ambulance is coming, you are gonna make it" This time it wasnt his typical panic voice. Ed was crying. You blinked and more tears fell down on you sleeves.
,,Ed, Im sorry"
We're all gonna die
You heard him sight,,No, (Y/N) there is nothing to be sorry for. Its all my fault" he said and his voice broke ,,I should have seen it, I should have protected you" he let out a sob and began crying and sobbin more. ,,Eddie? I-I, you're right I should have told someone. But please dont blame yourself. Dont" you whined and put your hand over your mouth. You focused so much on your sobs you couldnt hear Ed. ,,-I cant lose you (Y/N), you are the only one that ever accepted me" he went silent. Or was it you?
Sitting at the bed with the halo at your head
Was it all a disguise, like Junior High
Where everything was fiction, future, and prediction
Now, where am I?
My fading supply
It was all too much, everything too fast and too slow at the same time.
Your cries overpowered the sound of now returned thunders as you heard cars going by below your window. ,,It hurts" you screamed in pain as you moved your arn away to overlook the injury again. ,,We're almost there (Y/N) just hold on."
,,Did you actually mean it?" Once again you asked but now with smile on your face. ,,Or is it just faded memory?" Remembering events of last weekend when you two attended police ball, he pretended to be your ,,scary" boyfriend infront of bunch of arrogant officers. Ed cleared his throath and gulped
,, The ball?" there was silence. You knew you couldnt stand up so you carefully started sliding yourself closer to the floor. ,,I did, you (Y/N) are the most beautiful, trustworthy and inteligent person I know" you stopped, only youd neck was now againt the cabinet. ,,Funny I thought you were just bluffing"
Did you get enough love, my little dove
Why do you cry?
,,What happened (Y/N) I thought you two were happy" you went silent letting the thunder be answer. You used your free habd to push yourself away from the cabinet. Now you were just laying there ,,I thought so too Ed. I loved him I did. I told myself" he kept silent you presumed he was close. Despite thunders you heard a train on the other line. The train station. He wasn't gonna make it. There wasnt enough time for him to hold you in his arms. ,,I love you Ed" you whispered loud enough for it to be heard. He took a deep breath. You messed up, but he deserves to know.
,,I love you so much (Y/N), now you cant leave here alone. I-I cant make it withouth you"
And I'm sorry I left, but it was for the best
Though it never felt right
My little Versailles
,,Isnt it funny? I was always too scred to tell you and now" you coughed and gasped for air ,,we cant be together anyways. Maybe we could be another tragic pair of lovers like in the books" you softly laughted before you strated coughing again. It was blood, but at your state there wasnt place around there wasnt blood. ,,(Y/N) It was me who bought you the flowers not officer-" you stopped him ,,I always knew, the wws this little voice in my head that i-i-it was y-you." You winced as breathed. Last minutes.
The hospital asked should the body be cast
Before I say goodbye, my star in the sky
Such a funny thought to wrap you up in cloth
Do you find it all right, my dragonfly?
,, Eddie, we both know how is it going to end. I just do-do-ont want you to blame yourse-lf" you both inhales sharply. You because speaking makes you weaker and Ed because he was having a war with himself right now.,,No" you were silent. ,,No, there will not be anything I'd have to regret!" He yelled and cried at the same time. Poor Eddie, you knew how vulnerable he was. ,,If I die" I dont want you to visit me. ,, I wouldnt want you to dwell on the past. I'll be a dead end. Literally" you giggled a little before Ed screamed through the phone ,,FOR GODS SAKE (Y/N) YOU ARE DYING. STOP JOKING ABOUT IT."
,,Sorry, sorry. I am serious. Do-Do not attend my funereal, dont bring me flowers, dont get involved in the case." whispering you wiped your tears for the first time.
,,Why (Y/N)? So am I supposed to forget about you? If you are telling truth and you do love which I certainly hope you do. You are the love of my life (Y/N)." Once again the muffled cried from the other side of the phone were drown out by the now stronger storm. ,,Because I would break you"
Shall we look at the moon, my little loon
Why do you cry?
,,Tell me a-a-a ridd-d-riddle Edd-Eddi-Ed" you sighted as you felt your breath slowing down every minute. ,,What are the three words that are said too much, but not enough"
,,I love you"
,,So do I"
Silence.
Make the most of your life, while it is rife
,,H-H-El-Hell-Hello?" You coughed so hard your head raised from the ground only to fall back there.
,, Im here (Y/N), Jim is here. You are here. Im not losing you now."
He hanged up.
While it is light
The front door opened and the lights turned off. It shocked your body and you gasped. A figure was kneeling next to you. It was Edward Nygma. The one you loved.
Well you do enough talk
,,I wanted to grow old with you
(Y/N). I still want to. Dont.leave.me" Ed held you tighter and put his hand on your cheek and as he slowly sobbed. Hie glasses were wet from his tears and rain. He was a shaking mess. You looked into his eyes. And smiled.
My little hawk, why do you cry?
Tell me what did you learn from the Tillamook burn?
Or the Fourth of July?
We're all gonna die
You lifted up the hanf that was on your wound. Ed quickly put it back, applying the pressuee back. Being confused and still pouring his soul out through tears. You sturggled and released yourself from his grip. You hand was now cupping his cheek. With every little strenght you had you barely leaned forward and pecked edwards lips he was just starring at you, knowing its the end. With that, he pressed you towards him harder and frantically held you thinking you could disappear in every second. With that the ambulance arrived and...
We're all gonna die
We're all gonna die
We're all gonna die
We're all gonna die
We're all gonna die
We're all gonna die
We're all gonna die
Name : (Y/N) (L/N)
Date of death : 4th of july
1 note · View note