#i'm just so busy these past few days

[deep-dark-fears]

You can be smoothie. A fear submitted by Felix to Deep Dark Fears - thanks! You can find original art in my store over HERE!

#comics #Deep Dark Fears #Fran Krause #fears #blender #So here's the story #folks. #It's been a crazy couple years #and I haven't been posting every week like I used to. #But the truth is that I've still been doing this comic every single week. #It's published in a paper out in Vermont called Seven Days - Hi Jeff! #Anyhow - I haven't been posting it online because I've just been very busy the past year or so #But this week I've finally gotten around to formatting all these comics and I'm going to see what happens when I publish a year's worth #in a few days. #Who knows? #Hope you're all well! #Your pal - Fran

[front-facing-pokemon]

#tropius #HE SO APPY!!! FUCK!!! HOLY SHIT I LOVE THIS ONE #i've never looked at tropius up close before i didn't even know they had a little helmet and shit. this is WONDERFUL. they're SO appy #i hope you all appreciate this as much as i do because this is very good. i don't even know anything about tropius. jack SHIT. except that #they're so appy. and i will accept this. i gotta work but i've been too busy thinking abt how appy they are #i also started the process of remaking my main blog. bc it just had a lot of posts on it all the way back to way back in my past #and i felt like it was weighing the whole blog down and making me not want to use it. and that blog needed some housekeeping for me to want #to associate myself with it. so i'm currently in the process of coming up with a new URL before i start really renovating #so the hunt for miss ffp starts anew or something. unless i've lazily replied to you in a comment once and you remember my url #i've done that to a few of you. demifiendcruithne is one. shoutouts to you demifiendcruithne you're the best #then there was that one who assumed i use windows. despite recognizing that i'm “rather techy.” yuck! #had to respond to that one to clear up any suspicion that i might be a windows user. this is all totally unrelated and also will be #totally irrelevant by the time this post gets up anyway. hopefully. y'know if i haven't come up with a new url by then then #i mean. that's my fault. but this isn't gonna post until july 23rd. 10 days from today. so. hopefully! #see you all then

[serenescribe]

OOOHH for ficlet frenzy, I'm thinking the song Reflection (Mulan) with Silver's insecurity about being only human to his fae father!!!

I imagine at the start of his training to being a knight, he was having a difficult time coping with Lilia's standards.

and he feels dissapointed at himself for not being strong, for not being as magically gifted as Lilia... Its probably because he's not Lilia's biological son that he can't meet his expectations, so if he can't succeed at being a decent son, nor a decent knight,,, what else is he supposed to be?? What good is him, a mere human to his strong fae father?

[✐] ficlet frenzy

"That's enough for today."

The sound of his father's voice calling for an end to his first day of real training should fill Silver with relief. His every muscle screams in agony, desperate for some kind of respite. His skin is slick with sweat, coating him like a second layer of flesh. Panting, he feels his chest rise and fall from where he lays on the ground, and it is only the feeling of a shadow falling over him that gets Silver to turn his head.

Lilia smiles down at him, any trace of the strict coach he'd been earlier now gone. Left in his stead is the person Silver knows much better — his father, kind despite his eccentricities, and loving despite constantly needing to go away.

"Up you go now, Silver," Lilia says, whisking Silver to his feet with a flurry of magic. Patting him on his back, Lilia pushes him in the direction of their home. "Go freshen up, hm? I'll make sure there's a hot, steaming plate of dinner on the table when you're done!"

And Silver does. He goes to the bathroom, fills the tub with water from the rusty old tap, and settles in to wash all the sweat and grime off his skin.

Normally, he would bathe quickly, wishing to get out as soon as possible, not wanting to waste time. But staring at the wavering, dull reflection of his face in the warm water, Silver feels...

A void that slowly split open within his chest, slowly growing into a yawning abyss until Silver could not deny it anymore. Disappointment, that is what it is; it first formed within him as early as earlier that morning, when Silver had taken beating after beating, constantly being smacked down and defeated in his father's grueling training.

A lump clogs his throat. Hot tears prickle at the corners of his eyes.

He's just a human — ordinary in every way, lacking the powerful magic of the fae, along with their strength and swift grace.

What hope does he have to ever live up to expectations — his father's and his own?

What good will it do to believe he is capable of becoming one of Malleus' knights?

#my writing tag #tumblr drabbles tag #ficlet frenzy #twst #twisted wonderland #this one isn't really spoilery i don't think #twst silver #lilia vanrouge #twst fanfiction #twst writing #hey so i got halloween silver at 100 pity which means i'm not on writing strike but i AM kinda sad :( #but MAN i should get chipping at these ficlets ;; been so busy these past few days #i did listen to reflection but also i kinda just wrote whatever reading the ask aaaaaaaa

[suddencolds]

~

#not snz #more musings 📝 / mini vent: #not sure why my social battery is so limited 😭 and also so inconsistent #i feel like i can't sustain the amount of... like continued/consistent enthusiasm i see others giving esp in group settings #i just don't know how to engage in that way without burning out #over the past few weeks i've been stuck in like #a strange state where i can't muster the energy to properly respond to even the people i'm most excited to reply to #which is strange?? #(and if that is you i am sorry 😭 i love you and i will get back to you) #i think i can't even like manage to get myself into the mindset of enjoying something for myself (eg. a conversation with a friend) #i think a part of it is the stress from work leeching into my personal life #i feel like i've been working so hard and for such long hours but its the kind of work where the progress i've made is very hard to track?? #:( i just want to be off of ******* work so i can work on ******* work again #i also want to get ahead enough on everything in my life so that i write y+v D: #i feel like i haven't had a properly restful day in weeks... even over the weekend i was busy attending to others' needs #i just want a break from it all... but i dont have enough time to take off... but i dont know how much more of this i can take #i remember also feeling during uni like i was drowning #like there were simply not enough hours in a day to deliver everything i promised. it's such an awful feeling #i just feel defeated. like i've felt exhausted for weeks and weeks on end and like i spend every waking hour working on something or other #but ofc there is nothing to do but to keep at it 😭 other people can handle all of this and more #there are so many people i refuse to let down

[lucalicatteart]

Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 9: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression

(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)

Yesterday's poll helped The Adventurer build his raft...

"After two hours of fumbling about with tangled rope and tree branches, he's finally produced something that at least.. mostly, looks like a normal raft. He attaches a few extra flowers for decoration, loops his cat into a makeshift safety harness (so they can't get lost in the water), then gives everything one last check before deciding it's all ready to go, nervously pushing off into the river...

Surprisingly, it floats just fine. As long as he doesn't make any sudden movements, the raft doesn't threaten to flip over, or even wobble nearly as much as he expected. There's no way to really steer or paddle, but he does have a large stick he occasionally uses to push himself away from rocks or other obstacles. Luckily, the current is very slow at this section of the river, and hopefully will remain so for his entire trip.

Just lazily floating around, he estimates he should travel about 4 hours to fully get past the blocked road and end up at the next area on his map. Though the raft is too small (and too lumpy) to comfortably lay on, he can still recline slightly, bathing in the near afternoon sun, watching the scenery slowly drift by....

About 30 minutes into his first ever sailing adventure, he feels the water shift as a larger boat comes near. He can't see it clearly yet, but it seems to be nice - polished wood with painted sections and little flags draped along the sides, presumably some sort of actual steering and propelling mechanisms, and about 10 people lounging on the surface, maybe having some sort of party..? It's been very quiet so far, these are the first other travelers he's seen in the entire area today... Should he attempt to make contact with them? "

--------

Additional details -

Boat Make-up : Based on the results of the last poll (where people helped him make a boat by choosing the amount of materials) -- With 30% branches and 21% rope, there's only a 9% difference between them, so both are in pretty close amounts, which means there's a TON of rope. (normal ratio would be like 65% wood and 10% rope lol). I probably should have even added more, but it's so visually busy, just pretend there's extra rope wrapped under the boat too.

30% branch and 15% fabric means there's about half as much fabric as there is wood, which is also A LOT for just a little side decoration, so I made the flag huge, and a square of fabric for the cat to sit on. 10% berries means that there's enough ink for 1/3 of the wood to be entirely covered in purple designs. The least amount was the twigs and leaves for padding, which would cover a little under 1/3 of the wood (laid on top). then a little over 1/3 of the space is flowers for decor, which are just kind of sitting in a pile on top, with a few actually tied down onto the flag or other areas.

Since the branches were pretty close in percentage to all other things (not like 80% branches and 20% all other materials), the raft is fairly small, as not much wood was used.

main goal: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has

#paventure posting #polls #choose your own adventure #hghnhh... yes.. this is very late lol #I'm trying for every other day at least if not daily but.. you know lol.. Life #It snowed here which like YEAAAAAAA my favorite weather ever!! but it's also always annoying because of transportation #I hate how car-centric america is and how it's no necessary to drive to get places #I loooooove the snow so much but I also hate driving in it or anyone I know or any of my roomates or anything having to drive #in it. because the day after it snows everything always freezes into a flat sheet of ice at night and nobody can drive on it #because this area is not used to it and it's very hilly so then it just ends up being A Thing where everyone gets stranded on the #road side or cant make it up a hill and people are just out there sliding around anyway risking their lives #because everyting is always like a 20-30 minute drive away and most poeple cant just walk to their work or the market #and the public transport system is not robust or reliable enough to get them around instead. #which lukcily I dont have to deal with too much but every time it gets really snowy and icy I still get nervous and unfocused and #distracted by the threat of the possibility of me or my roomates having to go somewhere lol #and then also I'm busy outside because I spend time in the snow on and off through the day so I get distracted by that too #I've probably walked an hour a day or more the past few days just because I HAVE to go out and be in the snow #I love the feeling when it's like 26 degrees outside and it's windy and yersterday's snow is like blowing everywhere in little clouds #and there's like ice on your face and you can just plop down into a pile of snow and lay on your back looking up at the sky #Which I do try to be careful but I probably will stil lget frostbite at some point in my life. I take it seriously and try to bundle up but #I cannot resist just being out in the cold. If not for the aspect of trasnportation woes and the occasional power outage it would #be paradise. I think because I'm so warm natured I just feel less sick. less achey. less dizzy and weird when I'm cold #Whatever health things I have going on with me it seems to help them. And is just beautiful and perfect #ANYWAY.. I finally focused enough to get one of these done. I'm still trying to work on other things and ease back into a normal #schedule if I ever can.. be productive for once. The past month or two has been so weird and hard to accomplish things because I just #keep having physical issue flare ups or schedule disruptions or etc. hhrghghh #but here he is! on his boat! Still trying to get to the Innkeeper's brother's abandoned castle ruins lol. but it was mentioned #it'll be a long journey. he probably has to make it a few more days before he's close to there (if he even makes it there) #It's all part of the journey!

[schumiatspa]

Carlitos and Luca texting yesterday:

- you guys are the worst at secrets. You realise how weird that looked?

- what are you talking about?

- the whole thing with the court that has your name and Jannik filming and drooling

- you're exaggerating. Friends support each other, there's nothing weird

- he's your main rival

- so?

- you know what? I give up. Please go on

(don't feel pressure to answer!)

MY LOVELY ANON!!! I'M FINALLY HERE!!! I've got like 4 of your asks to answer, I'm so so sorry😭 I don't actually know which is the most efficient way to answer them as a lot of things happened!!! I'll probably get through every one of them like I'm not days late ajsksk

THIS DIALOGUE IS SO FUNNY PLEASE (I love all of your dialogues btw) I can picture Luca with his hands on his hips and a fed up expression saying this akjsksksk "Friends support each other" SO THAT'S HOW THEY CALL IT NOWADAYS UH

The funniest thing is that Luca is not in Alicante anymore (I've got a couple of things to say about that👀 but I'll keep them for one of your previous asks), so it's even funnier to picture him on the phone saying that... Poor Luca was probably home chilling or training and he probably saw the pictures on Insta/Twitter like the rest of us and went "For the love of God- CARLITOS!".... "I come back to Italy a few days earlier than planned and all of his common sense flies out the window" (Luca being like 70% of Carlitos' impulse control would kind of make sense, or at least I would find it funny akssksj Juanki, the rest of the team, Alvaro, Luca probably do make up all of Carlitos' impulse control, but we know too well that Carlitos does whatever Carlitos wants, especially if it concerns his bf lol)

#p.s. sorry again that I'm this late!! #I've just been a little bit tired and busy over the past few days and when I answer people's asks I want to be 100% focused #because they deserve all of my attention!! I always feel so lucky and happy when people send me asks and I want to give them something back #(you all can tell me i'm not that interesting it's okay lmao) #carlitos' italian sandwich saga #<- i'm using this tag because i can't change the previous posts anymore and i've already tagged some of them with that #so it's the only way I can more or less keep track of our correspondence... I hope it's okay!! #📩 #anon #tennis

[welcometogrouchland]

Trick or treat 👁️👁️

I eated it :(

[ID in alt]

#ramblings of a lunatic #happy halloween to all those who celebrate #I didn't do anything for it today (I'm busy and my uni doesn't let us off for the holiday) #but i watched scary movies w friends a few days ago #honestly halloween has been a bit of a non event this year for me i have straight up been too busy #fighting for my life trying to find seasonal joy between meetings and classes and groceries and sweeping the floors #anyway. yes this is the brilliant joke that took me hours to think up/make #until it was actually 18 mins past midnight making it not Halloween anymore #i think it was worth it #also i need to post art so bad but I'm looking at everything like. oh this is garbage and/or requires paragraphs of context. schwoopsie #I'm. working on it okay? #i don't wanna dissapear of the face of the internet rn just bc I'm busy with schoolwork #but god. the cave of knowledge (uni) tests me everyday #this was done in ibispaint on my phone btw

[cactusdodes]

.

#ok yeah i was definitely just being dumb and anxious #but like i was so used to having them texting me back all day every day until one of us fell asleep #but they've been so stressed and busy with moving that they're only able to text me a few times a day the past week #and it was just such a sudden and drastic change and the last time that happened with somebody we ended things not long after #so i think it just triggered that anxiety #and like logically i knew that wasn't what was happening but ya know #but i was definitely just being too anxious. i'm fine now. i know they still like me. they've made it so very clear that they like me a lot #and they would tell me if that changed #i'm just excited for them to be done with moving after this weekend so i can see them again! #i miss their face ☺️ #god i like them so much.. they're so fucking cute and sweet and they make me so smiley and giggly #blake says shit

[reallyhardydraws]

caught a cold 😷 oof. was gonna work today and be like ayyy grindset no days off! but uhhh i might just upload the leftovers from yesterday's market onto my online shop and then call it for the day: anyone waiting on commissions (i think its just 2 people right now) i'll start up working on those tomorrow

commissions are absolutely open though and i think if you want something specifically in time for the 25th december i can still get them done if you email me on or before the 21st.

#anyway uhhh basically im still about £400 short of the UK minimum income floor for this month so every little helps #and i mean i will have days in the month after the 25th its just #y'know how it is. that's The Big Day in december #also i mean for the past few years i HAVE #happily scraped by on about half of minimum UK wage its just #right so i signed up to this startup scheme they have for #self employed ppl here in the UK #i wasn't like... thrilled about it but it HAS helped #it's just that it's all about 'Business Growth' and all that #and um. basically i like locked myself into these #agreements and commitments to try and meet #the requirements to be 'gainfully self employed' #and if i haven't qualified at the end of 12 months #which i think is in april 2023 #then i think they're gonna be like. u should get a real job #so i'm just yeah really trying to make it work #anyway sorry if u read all this. not looking for advice just #want to vent and also be up front with everyone #thank you all sooooo much for your support this whole time #it does not go unnoticed and it is SO appreciated

[magentagalaxies]

randomly ran into an online friend from back in 2020 on the street of boston today and i legit felt like a celebrity it was so cool!!!

#we were close during lockdown (like this was a friend group where we'd hang out on zoom every day) #and we met through a fandom i'm not really active in anymore so once people's schedules got busy with lockdown lifting #most of us lost touch (and also i had a falling out with a few of them) #so when i was walking to class this random guy across the street just goes ''HOLY SHIT JESSAMINE????'' #and i didn't recognize him at first bc his hair is different/he has glasses now so i was like ''what class do i know this guy from?'' #and then it clicked for me!! he was in town for a different friend's show and just happened to get lunch at a restaurant on my street #and recognized my hair bc i have very iconic hair lmao #so he was just in disbelief for a minute and was like ''oh my god... can i get a picture????'' like literally acting like i was a celebrity #we spent a while just chatting and catching up which did make me late to class but the professor was actually later than i was #so yeah this was such a pick-me-up bc i had kind of a shitty morning but that was so cool just randomly running into someone from my past #(in a good way of course)

[le-velo-pour-dru]

Could you guys tell that I love Dallon Weekes so so much with my whole heart??? 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

#dru speaks #I'M SORRY I CAN'T SHUT UP ABOUT HIM #i've been living firmly in dallon world all weekend <333 #I'M SO IN LOVE WITH HIM IT'S RIDICULOUS <3333333 #(any posts i've been rbing about men in general in the past few days. i was actually thinking about dallon specifically when i rbed them #the more you know) #HE'S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL #AND I'M OBSESSED WITH THE WAY HE MOVES ONSTAGE #AND HE'S GOT THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL #AND HE CAN PLAY BASS LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS #AND HE'S HILARIOUS #AND I'M GLAD HE EXISTS #OKAY I'M DONE NOW #NONE OF THAT WAS NEWS TO YOU GUYS I'M JUST. HAVING A LOT OF EMOTIONS #IDK WHAT GOT INTO ME THIS WEEKEND XD

[mccncutter]

#ooc tag / #hello from the other siiiiiiiiide #sorry for my absolute absence here since like ... november #my mental health has been ... really fucking bad since around then #its literally just *deflated balloon sounds* #i've been busy with work between that and i'm just always so drained and whatnot #my muse and writing has suffered as i've not been active on any of my blogs #BUUUUUUUUUUUT #i'm okay I guess; taking things a day at a time #just wanted to give an update and confirm i'm not deceased <3 #i'll be back at some point i guess; who really knows #but i appreciate you all and the ones that've stuck around! #i've lost a few friends over the course of the past few months and its just Not fun so #yeah!! #i'm just bad right now and hopefully will be better soon <3 #Hope you're all having a good day!

[your--isgayrights]

It’s orvuto anon again, I stalled on your pinned post again — experimental neuroscience?? :eyes:

Yesss. I'm actually an undergrad neuroscience major... Like writing and art and stuff is just for fun, I wanna be a research neuroscientist one day lol.

#That's why I practically haven't posted the past few weeks cuz I'm back in school #I'm also in a lot of east asian history classes because I'm minoring in east asian language and lit for fun #and I've been running into this barrier recently where I feel like its hard to explain to people the overlap that exists between hard #science and the needs of the individuals that science is supposed to help you know #like for me the reason being a research neuroscientist is so appealing is because if you're going to pick a job where you mostly do busy #work all day then being in a research field just means you know that whatever pointless thing you're doing or failed experiment you perform #everything you do is a piece of data that's going to contribute to this greater process that really has tangible eeffects in helping real #people who suffer from neurological disease. which I think is comforting in a world where doing a little never feels like enough #What I've been thinking about lately though is that I have an inherent belief in that system because I really believe in the ability of #people to do good in it because I'm coming from the same frame of rationalist mindset that a lot of research is based in but that in #clinical applications there are a lot of inherent biases that prevent people from knowing what illnesses they have and how to receive #treatment for them... because in my east asian history classes we've been talking about different belief systems and ways of thought #that sometimes have to do with medicine or psychology. and I always think that it's interesting to analyze practices that are mysticized in #modernity through that lense. but it's become apparent to me that it's hard to express that interest as genuine to religious people without #them feeling as though I'm dismissing their beliefs rather than trying to analyze how they interact with the physical reality that I know. #and it made me realize that the dismissiveness of western science towards religion combined with ableism in society makes it hard for peop #le who have the symptoms of things like psychosis or mood disorders that might have an associated role in a religion to feel like #psychiatric diagnosis or treatment isn't a complete insult to who they are as a person and I think that's the fault of a lack of compassion #and respect for others in clinical practice... its just like a social norm that i really wish would change. because i don't think physical #reality has to be dismissive of spiritual beliefs when acknowledged but because of some of the habits of western scientists and #certain subsects of christianity people don't think about it enough to have that conversation sometimes... #that's just what i've been thinking about lately lol. #personal #ask #anonymous

[noxtivagus]

damn it's been a while since i've been on tumblr

#🌙.rambles #hi >< #one of my cets is soon so i've been busy aaaa #after that tho ! gna get a lot more done #wna return here honestly #make a proper spam bcs i end up rambling too much on my twt priv oops n #hmmm. i've being doing better tho! esp compared to last year. kinda weird but i'm doing alright rn #only have like a week left. more like less than a week now bcs i'm gna rest on friday #saturday's my exam day. haven't had exams in a while. ever since the pandemic #haven't had to take any entrance exams for so long too bcs i've been in the same school ever since grade school #weird how in just a few months i'll be in my last year of high school #i'll make the most of it ! i'm v excited for college tho >.> #stressed tho abt the upcoming exam bcs for the past few months i haven't been properly reviewing #i understand n learn well but 🥹 still nervous honestly #i really want to get in. #n then growing older is just. yeah odd. i'm closer to being 17 than being 16 #16 has admittedly been rather uneventful n uh kinda 'sad' actually but #17 is too close to 18. i want to do a lot more before that time comes #i always wished that. yk when i'm older i'll still be close w ppl i grew up with. esp during my teen years #drifting apart from the person that used to be my best friend back then hurts. we're different people now. #n other stuff too w other ppl that i think i'll just have to keep a secret for eternity #i've been keeping to myself a lil too much lately. but i've been doing mostly well lately #just a bit emotional rn. it's nearly midnight #ah.. my family's asleep rn n i'll sleep soon too but. oh fuck having this moment finally to myself n being properly alone #makes me finally just. feel it all. n it hurts. it's really lonely.. w the exception of my family #it's really lonely but i'll never say that while the sun's up. i just. want to #cry in someone's arms? i love my family but i just.. want someone else right now. but no i'm fine. it'll be fine #i'll focus on myself. i have my family n i'll reconnect w some friends after the exam #i'll do my best n study. i really need to get in. i want to do this for myself. but if i don't get in then i'll eventually make my peace #with that too. n i'll play video games n read n write n go out. catch up on a lot of stuff. yeah

[despairforme]

#[ i forgot i had put that nnoitra artwork in my queue and when i saw it on my dash just now i went HEART EYES ] #[ thank you to my past self for giving me this gift !! ] #[ nnoitra is ???? so goDDAMN pretty i CANNOT HANDLE HIM ] #[ --- and i say this 100% platonically ] #[ my beautiful boi i'm <5<5<5<5 about him all the time ] #[ nnoitra: i'm a man i ain't no boy ] #[ YES OKAY MY /MAN/ ] #[ i have been busy for a couple of days ] #[ today i have a bit of a headache and my hands are not the best ] #[ but i'm in a good mood uvu ] #[ i want to write and draw ] #[ will do both! ] #[ also i still have a few asks to send out for the inbox call ] #[ I'M SLOW ] #[ thank you for being so patient with me everyone! every day i feel lucky to have such amazing friends! ] #[ hope you're all doing gooood! ] #toby post. ╱ out of character.

[count-v-dracula]

...

#[ sorry ya'll if I'm hyperfixating I mean there is no IF - I AM lol ] #[ it's just when you've shipped a ship for years and have never been able to write it in all your years of writing your muse ? ] #[ I've been writing Vlad for almost a decade-ish and have only got Gabes in the past year soooo yeah ] #[ @gvhelsing & @eeveeliciousrp are the best everrr ] #[ but I am also putting things in the queue too :) ] #[ the next few days I am quite busy so we'll see what can be done! ] #[ I will continue putting threads into the queue -- check out the askbox and see what needs to be done and respond to newer things asap ] #outofblood #tbd