I'm a cryptid in Stardew valley. I live on the outskirts of town. I disappear for days on end, purchasing daily one-way tickets to the calico desert. Nobody knows where I go while I'm there. Can occasionally be found fishing at random spots throughout town. I am never not running on at least one triple shot espresso. I take the abandoned minecarts to get around and am frequently seen disappearing into the sewers. I carry a sword for some reason. Once every week or two I will stride into your bedroom to deliver you your favorite meal. I'm a self-made millionaire. I attend all the town events and will go to your concert in the next town over. I have donated approximately 2583 items to the local museum and singlehandedly revitalized the town community center. There are rumors I can talk to junimos. I'm friends with the local wizard
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mom: complains about they/them pronouns being SO HARD to remember
me, barely refraining from telling her about the existence of neopronouns:
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lou ferrigno jr really strolled up to set after five years, flew a helicopter to a capsized cruise ship in the middle of a storm, scrunched his nose multiple times, kissed oliver stark like he'd been training for it his whole career, improvised the chin grab, and i'm supposed to what. not love the guy??
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