Rest
Guess what? I've got more Jamil x reader for y'all.
You can also find this on ao3.
No warnings, just 866 words of kinda fluffy(?) caretaking stuff with gender-neutral reader.
At this point, you know Jamil’s schedule almost as well as he does. So, when you have the chance, you head to Scarabia’s kitchen, hoping to spend some time with Jamil while he and the other students prepare dinner.
However, when you enter, it takes you but a moment to notice Jamil’s uncharacteristic fumbling and the tired look in his eyes. The way Jamil’s chopping the vegetables has you worried about him cutting himself with that knife he’s usually so adept with, and it seems it’s only force of habit that’s keeping him on track.
You frown, and when your eyes meet Jamil’s, you can already see him put his guard up.
So he knows what state he is in, huh? And still, here he is.
It seems Jamil is reading your thoughts, all of him telling you drop it before any words are even said.
At least he still lets you lean in and give a quick kiss to his cheek in greeting.
“Hello love. Do you still have a lot on your agenda for today?” you ask, keeping your tone low for at least some semblance of privacy in the busy kitchen.
“Nothing I can’t handle,” is the response you get.
Of course.
It takes a little more pestering before Jamil actually answers your question. Your lips purse. That list is far too long to your liking.
You take a moment to think, juggling your own plans and to-do list against the urgency of the things Jamil mentioned.
“Will Kalim be eating from that?” you ask, pointing at the food Jamil is preparing.
“Yes.”
“Alright, I won’t be touching that one, then. I’ve gotta do a few things but I’ll be back when you’re done here.”
“Don’t,” Jamil says with a glare, clearly aware of what you’re thinking.
Yet even his disapproving look doesn’t have the usual weight behind it.
“Yes. I will,” you say firmly, even as your heart curls inwards with another bout of concern.
Really, when did he get so tired?
And how did you not notice it earlier?
You leave the kitchen before Jamil can protest further, hurrying through the dorm corridors to find Kalim.
Soon you have an enthusiastic – and concerned – supporter for your plans. You have Kalim point out a few reliable Scarabia students to help with a few of the most urgent matters Jamil mentioned – cleaning up the common areas, delivering some paperwork to Crowley, preparing some dorm-wide notices – while you see to Kalim getting his school supplies in order for the following day. You even recruit a couple of third years to help Kalim with his homework.
You’ll see to the rest tomorrow – after all, you do also have a boyfriend to look after.
Your conversation over dinner can hardly be called anything else than an argument – despite Kalim’s best attempts at acting as a moderating force between you two. It is very tempting to ask Kalim to tell Jamil to take the rest of the day off – it’s not like Jamil would be willing to openly disobey a direct order. Still, you really don’t need to remind Jamil of his position on top of everything else that you’re already doing more or less against his wishes.
Eventually, however, Jamil’s had a square meal, the most urgent things on his to-do list are being taken care of, and you’ve managed to drag him to his bed.
“I really wish you wouldn’t push yourself so hard,” you murmur, your arms wrapped tightly around Jamil. You’re telling yourself you really do just want to cuddle, to offer some respite to Jamil. Still, there might also be a part of you worried that if you were to let go, he’d just jump up and get back to working himself to the bone.
Yet, for all his protestations, just the fact that you’ve gotten Jamil to lay down with you speaks volumes of his current exhaustion.
“I can’t just leave my duties, albi. You know this.”
“Making yourself too indispensable, is what you’re doing,” you protest.
Oh, you know it’s not so simple. Not with his background, not with all the expectations and assumptions.
But sometimes you really wish it would be.
Jamil merely scoffs in response to your words.
Still, it is undeniable that he is slowly beginning to relax in your arms, slowly bringing his head closer to yours. His eyes are starting to flutter, too.
“I will still need to help Kalim with his homework, at the very least.”
You wonder who he is trying to convince more, you or himself.
“Amin and Khalil are helping him. They’re basically top of their classes, aren’t they? I’m sure they’ve got it.”
Still, Jamil frowns.
You sigh. He really is not letting go, is he?
“Do you want me to go supervise?” you ask.
And leave you, unsaid yet hanging there right after your words.
“Don’t,” Jamil eventually says, the word barely more than a breath.
It seems he has accepted his fate.
You softly caress Jamil’s hair, listening to his softening breathing.
And when you wake up, wholly unaware of having been lulled to sleep in the first place, it’s to the lightest of touches from Jamil’s fingers.
Tagging @diodellet @twstgo @crystallizsch @jamilvapologist @jamilsimpno69 as per request
If you'd like to be tagged for any future works, let me know!
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i have somewhat of a different interpretation about The Mind Electric
> It's less of a diss track and more of using Heart's tactics against him to get him to listen [while also still definitely being a diss track]
somewhat disorganized rant below the cut [also lots of my own interpretations of the album that may very well be inaccurate, so take everything with a grain of salt] :]
The Mind Electric has a bit of a different topic when it comes to Mind's songs/lyrics, to say the least. while Mind does jab at Heart a lot, he does often try to reason with the other in between insults. The Mind Electric has much less of trying to convince Heart to work with [or behind] him and instead focuses on.. insulting the shit out of them
this is extremely funny, but it seems somewhat abrupt and out of the blue for Mind [see what i did there?]. however, i have a.. semi-theory as to why he suddenly just goes off on Heart. he's playing into the other's tactics
and i don't mean that Heart is constantly baraging Mind with insults. in fact, compared to Mind, Heart very rarely verbally attacks the other head on. instead, Heart builds up this fantasy around themself that paints themself as completely innocent, whereas Mind is this irredeemable villain that wants nothing more than Heart's head on a platter. and while, yes Mind definitely isn't fond of Heart, from what we've seen and heard, he is at least somewhat willing to work with Heart—although his idea of "working" with them seems more for Heart to sit in the backseat and shut up while Mind is the one actually in control, but I digress. this fantasy that Heart builds is most clearly seen from both sides in The Heart Acoustic and Be Born
Throughout Mind's songs [Be Born especially], he is trying to reason with Heart and get them to understand his point of view. he tries to explain that he only wants the best for the person that they make up. but Heart either argues with or outright ignores Mind, holding fast to the facade that they built up—that Mind is the bad guy trying to hurt them, and Heart is the good guy trying to save them. they don't want to hear anything that goes against that. so all that Mind says just ends up hitting a brick wall. this might also be a reason as to why Mind sees Heart as childish [their stubborn nature and them "playing make believe" to a much more serious degree]
at the end of Storm and a Spring, Mind and Heart sing over each other, almost sounding like an argument. this is Mind's breaking point. here, he throws his hands up and pretty much goes, "Fine. You want to see me as the villain? I'll play the villain." cue The Mind Electric. this song serves two roles, in my view. One, the one I've been building up to: Mind is leaning into this role that Heart has forced him into in a last ditch effort to break through and actually get him to listen for once. that's why the song eases up at the end. the last few lines of the song are literally, "Though I seem harsh in all my assessments / We each seek a life lived in the light / Yet there lies our Heart, engulfed in resentment / Stubborn, pale akaryocyte." aka, "Although you see everything I do as cruel and unforgiving, I'm not trying to hurt us. I'm only trying to make things better, and yet YOU refuse to see that, no matter how much I try to tell you this. You're being stubborn and resentful with practically no reason other than to perpetuate your own lies."
The second reason is that Mind is beyond frustrated at this point. he has tried and failed so many times to talk to Heart and get them to see the truth. he's tired. he's fed up. he needs an outlet, so he takes this opportunity to air his grievances [this is what i meant by it still definitely being a diss track, lol]. not only is it a method [albeit a poorly thought out one] to get through to Heart, it's also an excuse to let out his frustrations
that's all from me. i have no clue how to end these so. yeah. please don't execute me :]
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