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orkbutch · 5 months

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So I've been seeing A Viewpoint within the bg3 fandom occuring. And I gotta be honest. I disagree that the characters being bisexual in Baldur's Gate 3 means you cannot headcanon them as other sexualities for your own fandom content purposes. I think that's not reflective of how queer people and their sexual identities actually work, and its just antithetical to how fandom has always functioned, which is an exercise of imagination. I wanna clarify up front: I agree that someone saying that a character Can't or Shouldn't or Was Not Meant To Be bisexual because of whatever reason IS biphobic sentiment. The characters in Baldur's Gate 3 are canonically bi/pan, thats made pretty damn clear when you look through all their content. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about headcanons, au's; the kind of imaginitve play that is very much what fandom creativity is about. If you set a standard in fandom that depicting a character as a certain sexuality is Not Allowed, 1. you're kinda flattening sexuality in a weird way, like personally my sexuality is complicated as fuck and has changed over time, and 2. you're limiting creativity. And I think creativity in fandom is extremely important. It's the whole fun of fandom. Creativity is worth protecting and its worth establishing the nuance between Depicting A Version of Character who is X and Insisting That Character Should Be X in canon. Because like... we meddle with character's identities in fandom all the time. That's what headcanons ARE, they change appearance, social position, career, faith, species, traumatic experience, moral and political alignment, and SO much more. I think limiting what people can headcanon within fandom... is less fun! It's just less fun. Imaginative scope lets you do more, weird fun stuff. It lets you depict more complex interesting characters. Example: my Bad Nun AU. In that, Shadowheart identifies as a lesbian. Why is that? Because I wanted Shadowheart's experience within Bad Nun to specifically explore the history and context of lesbians within nunneries, especially how that manifested post Vatican II. These were also eras when 'lesbian' was more ubiquitos, had a different context and more flexibility; a lot of women that would probably consider themselves 'bisexual' now were identifying as lesbians, were in lesbian communities and events and spaces.

On that note: Flattening sexuality. You're gonna say people CANNOT depict these characters as ANYTHING but bisexual? That is not how most queer people's sexualities work. It simply isn't. I've identified as tons of different shit in my sexuality. I'm still not sure about it. For me half the time my "sexual identity" is just the words I use to communicate what I'm looking for, and that changes depends on What I Want at that time, what I'm looking to explore, my social context, ect. ect. like what. This isn't how sexuality works for real people. How are artists meant to be Creative and imaginatively depict real, complex, queer sexuality if they are restricted to depicting only what is within canon?? This is not how any other part of fandom works. Fandom art should work how all art works. If someone makes shit art, it gets dunked on and ignored for being bad or lazy or lame. If someone did Heterosexual Karlach fanfic, I would be like "what the fuck why" because they made Karlach less fucking cool. Het Karlach would be boring and thats More Egregious because they DECIDED to make her heterosexual DESPITE canon. But even then, EVEN THEN, I don't think that should be looked at as off limits shit, because I don't believe art should have many things off limits. Any limits must be very nuanced, because art and creativity is nuanced. Obviously my brain would go "het karlach? you deserve jail time and thats queerphobic", but I honestly believe creative license is more important than those feelings. I WOULD happily comment on their thing, "heterosexual karlach is boring, thats a shit idea" because I'm right

If you want good art and good writing, you need to protext creative license.

#bg3 #I think I'll get shit for this but. I'm right lol

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draconscious · 1 month

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NAME : dan!!

PRONOUNS : he/him

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : tumblr im. discord. passenger pigeon. I'm very slow sometimes but you should plot with me!!

NAME OF MUSE(s) : clair, cynthia, barry, jupiter/eris + so many mooore (how did it come to this? LMAO)

BEST EXPERIENCE(S) : dedicating this section to both ash (@analuein) and aya (@distortsverity)! ash and I have been writing together for infinity years right here on tumblr. no matter the muse, it's always a blast spinning up plots and watching the magic unfold from there with her. from thorton to violet, to noland and clair. from wildencounters to indie. it's been a fantastic ride. day one. 😎

I transitioned from group rp to indie a few years ago and--at the time--I was all alone. I had no connections, just a lonely barry blog to my name. I wrote drabbles by myself in the dark for two weeks until aya came across my blog with her hikari, and everything just clicked. aya made me feel included, reached out with ideas, plots and feedback, and showed love to barry and all of my muse(s)--and to this day, I still feel TREMENDOUSLY grateful for the helping hand when I felt so isolated. I definitely would not still be writing here without her.

since then, I've had an amazing time here. writing with so many different people, muses, and groups--it's all so good. my best experiences happen when I'm writing (or even plotting) with someone, and everything just works, flows, and fits together and I can just feel that shared excitement. that feeling that we're building a great story together. that's magical. that's why I'm still around, trying new muses, diving headlong into amazing plots/dynamics, letting my imagination run wild, and--as always--writing a lot. much love to EVERYONE who has helped keep that fire burning over the years, but especially ash and aya for giving that flame a chance in the first place. tysm. ❤️

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS : it's been said, but--on a personal level--I wish private communication would happen more, specifically when it comes to interest levels. my time is becoming more and more limited here (sad as that is) and I have always written at a slower, longer pace. so, given how fast this place moves, I would appreciate knowing if a thread has grown stale, or if something's off.

I'm flexible. I'd like to think that I'm pretty laid-back. I want you to have fun, and you need to drop or backburner our thread because life, interest, etc. that's okay. I promise. I also don't mind reminders about cold threads or overdue replies on my end. if that's the case, please let me know right away, and I'll pick it back up or let you know my thoughts. we can try new things, or not. just let me know what you'd like to do, and we can adjust from there. that being said, lack of time or muse =/= lack of interest. I get that. you never need to rush a reply with me, and I will always (for better or worse) assume interest is still there unless told otherwise by you. I'm no herlock sholmes. (I wish I was...)

so, as a courtesy, I'd ask to please talk to me if something's wrong. if you feel the need to drop our thread or aren't interested in an interaction and/or want to start fresh. I won't be upset (quote me on that.) I just want to make sure that the writing vibes are still good, and I want to spend my time here writing things that you (and others) are still into. and in the end, it's not really a big deal--this place is great and I adore my past/present/future thread partners--but it's something that I would appreciate!

(also since I haven't made it clear before: no AI with me, please. let's meet at the same level.)

MUSE PREFERENCES: strong women and brash, sunshiney dudes. (I'll really try anyone, but I certainly have types 😊)

PLOTS OR MEMES : whatever's easier for you to get in the door with--c'mon in!! I don't find myself with the time to reblog many memes lately, but my inbox/IMs are always open for spot interactions, and I'll do a lil' starter call here and there!!

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : I don't mind receiving either, but I always tend to lose myself in the sauce and write a lot oops. you never have to match my length. as long as we're writing together, that's chill enough for me!

BEST TIME TO WRITE : my healthcare job is killing me. I'll try to sneak on for some stuff here and there, but I'm most active during evening/nighttime CST US. confirmed night time scrawler. 🦉

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) : some common threads linking all of my muses to me is the fact that we always want to be active, we have (too) high expectations of ourselves, we grew up and are still growing up, and we spend too much time working (and loathe it LMAO)

#ooc #(got carried away but this just felt super good 🥰 tldr lets keep having fun!!)

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khruschevshoe · 5 months

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OFMD Critique: the Handling of Female Characters, "Girlbosses," and Dropped Polyamory in Season 2 (aka Why the HELL did you give Zheng Yi Sao that ending?)

For this one, I kind of just want to gesture at the ending of 2x7 and the entirety of 2x8 and scream at the top of my lungs, "What the FUCK was that SHIT?"

But I already did that when the finale itself came out, so instead I'm going to stay calm and give a genuine critique (though still as rambly as always).

The handling of this show's women is...questionable. I think the only woman that was handled 100% well is Mary in Season 1. No real notes there. I love her and how her storyline is written to bits.

But in season 2, all 3 major women characters (Archie, Zheng Yi Sao, and Spanish Jackie) have their storylines hamstrung by romantic plot lines.

In Archie's case, the romance plot works. Not every character needs to have a subplot. The bits that flesh out her character are well integrated into the story, whether that be her first kiss with Jim directly leading into the fighting to the death plotline/Jim finally standing up to Blackbeard or the lines "you have hope, it's cute," "this is just kinda how things work," and "they just kind of get away with it, you know" (though it still pisses me off that that last one goes unchallenged in the narrative) being used for plot progression, or are fun character details, such as all of the snake cult hints. (Do I wish that the poly aspect of her, Jim, and Olu's dynamic was better executed so that I didn't feel like the tealoranges plot was yanked out from under my feet? Yes. Of course.)

But as for Zheng Yi Sao?

The treatment of this character makes my blood boil.

See, I'm not opposed to her having a romantic plotline. In fact, I think it could have been fun. A woman can have romance and power. 2x7 even looked like it was building to that sort of conclusion, with Jim, Olu, and Archie joining her crew in one of the very few actual canon implications of poly (though no confirmation, sadly- have y'all seen the info about the deleted scenes that could have confirmed it? I can't believe so much ended up on the cutting room floor.) But then the end of 2x7 strips all power from Zheng Yi Sao.

The show pulled one of the most powerful pirates and most accomplished women in history (also a woman of color, btw, a fact which only doubles the weird fucking undertones of her treatment as a character) into the show only to strip her of her power, shove her into a romantic plot line on a ship where she isn't even a captain, and expected me not to pick up on ANY of the fucked up optics of the writing? The fact that we end the season with Zheng and Spanish Jackie both losing their power as pirate queens in exchange for setting them on a ship with only one singular boyfriend grinds my fucking gears, man.

There are ways to give Zheng a romantic plotline without it making her an idiot (ala what happens with Olu in 2x3) or making her lose all of her power (ala the finale). Jackie's case is less infuriating, but it does remind me of the fact that a lot of the casual poly/open relationship rep from the first season got stripped from the second season (and before you come at me with the Zheng/Olu/Archie/Jim storyline, look me in the eye and cite to me any concrete canon evidence we have of it. I ADORE the fanfic as much as the next person, but I mourn the lost potential every day. Check my previous tealoranges meta for that- I might write a long version of it sometime). Lucius and Pete lost all their open relationship implications and Jackie's husbands are dropped from the finale in favor of her running off with the only one who gets a name.

I understand that they probably wrote Zheng Yi Sao this way to show Stede's growth as a Captain by showing that he brings more flexible ideas to the table (which, by the way, is completely undermined by the fact that his plan actively kills Izzy in the process), but they really should have thought through the...everything in regards to the implications of writing Zheng Yi Sao this way. Because if you bring in one of the only female characters with speaking lines onto this show, a Chinese woman at that, make romance actively make her stupid, have her be fooled by a white man (who, by the way, kills THOUSANDS of unnamed women off-page in explosions and it's just kind of treated as a plot point for the whole Zheng/Auntie/Stede/Izzy/Ed comparison which gives me the ick), strip her of her fleet and her power, and then have the GALL to not even make her the Captain of the Revenge at the end of it all? I'm not sure I trust you to handle her legacy, much less write women in general.

TLDR; Writing a very queer show does not resolve you of sexism.

#zheng yi sao #ofmd critical #ofmd meta #archie ofmd #spanish jackie #sexism #analysis #ofmd season 2 #ofmd 2x08 #ofmd 2x07 #ofmd #rant #rambling #jim x archie x oluwande x zheng #zheng x oluwande

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adamsvanrhijn · 6 months

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I'm sure this has been discussed but how old are we thinking Oscar is? I'm assuming mid thirties?

Most of the people who have responded to my polls think mid-thirties! Still of marriageable bachelor age but topping out sooner rather than later / potentially even crossing over into more-likely-to-get-married-if-it's-your-second-marriage territory. And as he says in 1.08 & implies in 1.07, he would have much more flexibility here if he were known to be spending his youth having affairs with women—but he isn't, and Aurora gives us even more insight to this in 2.01 when she reminds him she has helped him (played matchmaker) before and nothing came of it. He hasn't been taking steps to make himself eligible and now that he is doing so, he's very close to the point in time when questions such as "why are you just now getting around to this" will be posed either to or about him.

Personally I imagine him as a late 1840s baby (and I am personally firm in how old he isn't, as I think there should have been no question of in what way he was contributing or could have contributed during the war).

I also have always been leaning toward John being a little younger just based on pure vibes/ideas, but I think 2.01 gives more to go off of there in that Oscar is giving John a longer and less urgent grace period for finding a wife — but worth noting that John's grace period is longer than Oscar's regardless, because John appears to be ticking the mid-late 19th century masculinity boxes that Oscar is not. And that's the real thing that's making Oscar anxious—he is approaching the age where he is less appealing to the most desirable young women, and because of the kind of man he is and his behavior or lack thereof as a young man, that is more significant for him than it might be for other men of his same age and social status whose gender expression and sexual behaviors are unlikely ever to be called into question.

#the gilded age spoilers #oscar van rhijn tag #the gilded age tag

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baratrongirl · 8 months

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B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

B - I don't have a lot for Ace Attorney because most of its ships are very obvious. I did however discover a fondness for the very rarepair Maya Fey/Simon Blackquill after reading a fic about them. She is a spirit medium who is going to become the leader of her village, and is also obsessed with the TV series The Steel Samurai. He is a raging weeaboo and/or British man with Japanese ancestry who wields a spirit katana and wants to be a samurai. They are even the same age! They are absolutely perfect together!

K - Urgh, see, this is the thing that Ace Attorney is very bad at. The games are good at showing 50-75% of a character development arc and then giving up. Like, AA4 is all about Klavier Gavin receiving trauma after trauma, and you'd expect him to need some time to process everything that's happened to him - yet he pops up in AA5 as if nothing has happened at all. Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth both have development, but even then you don't see the trauma being processed. In fact, the way Phoenix flips back to his old self in AA5 ignores all of the changes that happened to him in AA4, and seems false.

I actually think one of the best development arcs I've ever seen in a game/game series is Martin Septim in TES IV: Oblivion. He goes from being the priest of a town attacked by Daedra (TES version of demons) to the Emperor of Tamriel, willing to give his life to stop the Daedric invasion. Each time you return to Cloud Ruler Temple on the main quest, he's a little more resigned to his fate. He goes from giving an awkward speech to the Blades where he says, "I know you all want me to be Emperor, but this is very new to me" to leading a major battle dressed in the Emperor's heavy armor. When did he learn to fight in heavy armor? Before that, he's only worn priest's robes. A lot is happening to him behind the player's back, and it gives him life.

W - I agree with you about hating soulmates and Hanahaki Disease, unless those tropes are subverted. I am quite fond of the idea of "soulmates" which simply means that the person will be very important to you - not necessarily your one and only partner, but perhaps your best friend forever. And I find it interesting when people write Hanahaki Disease as a chronic illness which affects people who love too easily and deeply. I've often felt that I'm a person who does that, and it's brought me emotional pain. Why not have physical pain to go with it?

The tropes I REALLY hate though are "Pair the Spares" and "Everyone is Gay".

Ace Attorney has a juggernaut F/F ship of FranMaya which is Miles Edgeworth's adoptive/foster sister Franziska Von Karma paired with Phoenix Wright's best friend Maya Fey. But there are plenty of other options for both of those women, both F/F and M/F. I feel they get paired together despite their wildly different personalities and interests simply because Phoenix and Miles do, and I really dislike that. I don't even hate the ship! But I LOATHE the idea that they are together BECAUSE of their brother/best friend's relationship.

When the trope is subverted, and FranMaya get together years before WrightWorth, then I like the ship much more. Though I still feel that both characters have plenty of other interesting ships available to them.

"Everyone is Gay" bothers me when it's literally everyone being GAY as in exclusively same-sex relationships. Especially as three characters are about as close to canon bisexual as it's possible to be! Others have strongly headcanoned sexualities which are part of fanon (e.g. Miles Edgeworth being homoromantic demisexual and Kristoph Gavin being aromantic homosexual). But other characters are more flexible, e.g. I've seen Ema Skye written as lesbian, bi, straight, asexual, aromantic and acearo!

By all means, make everyone queer. But recognise that a trans woman might date a man, that a lot of bisexuals end up in relationships with people of different gender, that heteroromantic asexuals are still queer, and that acearo people likely don't want partners at all. And all of that is okay.

#character development #fic tropes #tropes i hate #rarepair #ace attorney #tes iv: oblivion #martin septim #maya fey #simon blackquill #ema skye

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elbiotipo · 3 months

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What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

Honestly? I have no idea. The answer to your questions could take whole books. Indeed they must have.

I actually don't understand what makes sexuality or gender, on its current definitions, work. I doubt we will ever get a single answer. For sure there is an inborn component to it, I have gay friends who have told me they had same-sex crushes from kindergarter. I also don't think one can't discount cultural or enviromental developments. I'm not sure, for example, how strong my own same-sex attraction is, but I know I wouldn't have even considered it if I didn't know about the possibility (many people on my own friend circle don't even understand how something such as bisexuality exists). I don't believe sexuality or gender can be defined in "boxes" or even clear cut identities. I have a lesbian friend who tells me she has lots of men who are 'an exception' to her, I've met people who cross-dress without thinking of themselves as transgender, or a trans man who considers his life as a woman as just another phase and dislikes the "deadname" concept.

From a purely biological evolutionary perspective, I think that sexuality, as in, sex for pleasure, is a bonding activity. It's a parallel of what surged in lion prides or cat colonies "why fight when we can love instead", except humans were descended from social beings, so sexuality was inherent to us. As for gender, despite obvious anatomical differences, humans are rather similar between biological sexes, we really don't have that much differences beyond those found culturally. We are more like wolves than lions in that aspect.

As humans are cultural beings and we take what we find in nature and process it into abstract terms, we have created a large "structure", is that the right word? around gender and sexuality, among different cultures and times. I don't believe there is a single correct way to interpret such things, only that it seems inherent to us, obviously, as biological beings to seek sex for procreation and also for pleasure and social bonding, and from there all the complexity arises.

I don't want to say most humans are "pan/bi" because that makes no sense, but I will say that people seem to be inborn with certain preferences to a biological sex or another, but that those traits are more flexible than we think, and that they can be changed to a certain extent by cultural and enviromental factors.

I'm sure there are authors that have explored these topics better than me.

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ohmeadows · 8 months

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You got hate comments wow lol I believe those who left that kind of comments really don't have nuance on media they consume, thus fandom these days are so rigid with rules that's too restricting. Personally I love how you write kafka and her dynamic with the women in your fic. Your Kafka can flip from domineering top (the milkies fic) manipulative bottom (especially in tingyun fan fiction I LOVE IT SO MUCH), and generally a wreck individual (da capo) and guess what I eat all of them because every Kafka you write is multi layered. we're not supposed to box her in one stereotype (same with Himeko or any women who you want to write) The rigid top/bottom dynamic is boring and makes it hard to explore the other possibilities and that's why I'm always looking forward to what you're going to write next.

Anyways I'm the anon who asked about writing tips. I'm still building my draft, slow work actually cuz I've been so lazy and motivation doesnt come easy, but your tips are helping on what I'm gonna write. I have an idea about jing liu with yukong. Idk the possibility of a mortal foxian and the unhinged mara infested lady intrigue me.

aww thank you so much! i like seeing how the facets in characters play out in different situations and with different characters. i'm certainly not as rigid irl (while i have a preference for domming, if a milf wanted me to be her devoted pet i would simply meow?) so why should characters be? i apply the same flexibility to characters. it's also funny how the years change a person, as sub/dom (not to be conflated with top/bottom as per usual) is all about power exchanges but of course we approach power and desire differently as we age, mature, acquire different tastes, meet new people; all of this changes our desire templates. i don't like flattening characters just to smush them into a sex fantasy niche.

i'm also an extremely lazy writer lmao. i just indulge my adhd in right amounts and work in very intense short bursts. then nap. then do it again. also oooh i'm really into what jingliu and yukong might get up to together even if i don't post about them much atm (need more jingliu canon lore!!! i want to study her under a microscope) so pls do let me know when you post it!!! i don't check ao3 enough as of late.

#ask meadows anything

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arabmexicanprincess · 2 years

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Book Review + Reflection: What does a housewife have in common with a 'corporate girl boss'? More than you think.

I stumbled on Silvia Federici's book Revolution at Point Zero when I was walking with a friend in Russian Hill a few months ago and decided to step into a bookstore. I'm embarrassed to admit that over the years I have not paid much attention to feminist literature, and I have been trying to pinpoint why.

Maybe it was my judgment of "white feminism" and a fear that I would overly center myself instead of others. In high school and college, I spent hours reading theory and literature on a variety of political economy topics, ranging from race, state domination, and class struggle. But I think my fear of over-centering my own identity as a ~white~ woman deterred me from centering gender in my analyses. I think my neglect also stemmed from an internal fear that confronting my experience as a woman may bring up some unfortunate truths and realities I wasn't ready to grapple with yet.

A slew of personal experiences that I underwent in college is what I believe brought me to this book and my newfound feminist studies, mainly the casual (and not so casual) misogyny that I witnessed (and experienced) in my interactions with men at my college campus and in my day to day. I wanted to understand why the world I was in made me feel powerless and made me act contrary to the beliefs I thought I had at times. I grew up surrounded by strong women who instilled in me the importance of protecting my womanhood and never allowing men to control or disrespect me. I wholeheartedly believed in these things. And yet, I found myself acting contrary to these beliefs, oftentimes accepting poor treatment by men and letting sexist comments slide when I wanted to speak up.

I grew tired of my own weakness and also wanted to understand why other women around me, even the 'strongest' women I knew, still seemed to feel this same powerlessness in certain circumstances with men.

I not only wanted to understand these dynamics, but I also wanted to counteract them, regain my power, and encourage other women to do the same.

This pursuit is what inevitably brought me to Federici's book, which has since propelled me into a passion for understanding my own experience as a woman while enmeshing that into my political economy studies.

Federici's main thesis is as follows: Women's labor under capitalism, namely their unpaid housework, has strongly been overlooked in mainstream political economy and Marxist studies. Federici's book largely advocates for the 'radical' idea that housework should be paid work, if no free alternative is provided by the state. According to Federici, deconstructing the forces behind women's housework is crucial to understanding modern labor dynamics as more and more women have become integrated into the labor force since the mid-20th century.

One of my favorite insights that Federici provides is her rejection of the notion that women's 'inclination' for housework is 'natural', stemming from our gender's 'innate' desire to caretake for our children and support our husbands. While having and caring for children is certainly a part of human nature, Federici specifically challenges the gendered notion that women are best fit for housework due to our natural proclivities. Federici posits that much of this is in no way natural -- it is a product of the capitalist division of labor. (Noting the history of gender roles in non-Western, non-capitalist societies is particularly important here, as many indigenous cultures are built around matriarchy).

Under capitalism, men's labor is limited to outside the home while women's labor is limited inside of it. But make no mistake, this system exploits both genders, albeit to different degrees. It strips men of time with their children, the leisure and downtime that is provided by a flexible work schedule, and sentences them to a lifetime of labor. Women's livelihood, in turn, is solely linked to their husband's employment, thereby limiting their independence and their 'labor' role remains confined to child-rearing.

But how does this system benefit capitalism? This is where Federici's central insight comes in. Women's housework and the gendered division of labor produce striking productivity gains for the capitalist system. It keeps working men fed and ready to continue their long days at work. And most importantly, women's housework raises the next generation of workers by feeding, caring for, and educating children. And at what cost? For free.

Thus, the wheels of the capitalist system have been turning on the backs of women's unpaid housework.

Now, here's where things get interesting. How does Federici's analysis fit into 21st-century labor dynamics wherein most women have now entered the labor force?

Women's integration into the workforce which began in the mid-20th-century surely had positive effects. It allowed women to gain a wage independent of men and to have more agency in how they wished to spend their lives. But the state's decision to integrate women into the workforce was never about empowerment. Similar to unpaid housework, women's labor was largely intended to fill labor shortages that were a consequence of disruptions that arose in the capitalist system (e.g the World Wars). Once again, women's work was levied by the state to keep the wheels of the capitalist system turning. Take the "progressive havens" in the Nordic countries, for example, which largely integrated women into the workforce because their xenophobic societies saw women's labor as more "secure" than labor from immigrants of color. This was never about empowerment.

Federici further highlights that women's integration into the workforce did not produce some "either/or" situation where women could now choose between housework and labor. On the contrary, while women were allowed to enter the workforce, they were still expected to perform many of the same child-rearing duties. Essentially, women's workforce integration sentenced them to perform two jobs under the capitalist system. Except one of them continued to be unrecognized as real work -- and it remained unpaid.

Women's integration into the workforce brought new challenges to the feminist movement, namely as Federici points out, the new divide between housewives and working women. The perceived "empowering" effect of participating in the workforce and the continued dismissal of housework as real work gave birth to a stubborn division in the feminist movement. Working women saw their struggles as incompatible with the struggles of housewives, as they fed into the deliberate dismissal of housework as real work. This division, of course, was/is extremely beneficial for the capitalist project. It divides. It obfuscates collective struggles and shared experiences. This, in turn, prevents any significant uprising led by women against the project of capitalism from happening.

The deliberate obfuscation of collective struggles among groups under capitalism is extremely common and something I was aware of through my previous labor studies. The most common example being how racial divisions and "othering" prevent collective class consciousness among low-income people. However, I had never thought about this dynamic in terms of women's rights, and how the housewives vs. girlbosses (as I put it) divide may prevent collective consciousness. I am grateful for Federici for bringing this harmful dynamic to light.

I found Federici's analyses to be extremely useful as we witness the rise of the "girlboss era" and "corporate baddies" on social media. It seems like today's feminism has recycled the same tired talking points that oversimplify what empowerment truly entails by associating work as the central tenet of women's empowerment. While it is true that our jobs may provide us with fulfillment and stability, "corporate girl bosses" are still confronted with many of the forms of exploitation that 21st-century housewives face as well. For working women, this manifests itself through archaic employment plans and societal expectations that, as stated above, sentence women to working in the patriarchial labor force while still performing childcare duties at home once the work day is over. For housewives, this manifests itself through the continued dismissal of housework as real work, thereby robbing them of a potential wage and thus continuously tying their livelihood to their working spouse.

I hope you can see why all women, whether they are an account executive or a suburban housewive, have an interest in the state, their employer, and society recognizing that housework is real work. Dissolving the housewife vs. girlboss divide may help us come to an end of gendered housework, wherein any and all genders have an understanding that they can split up the task of housework equally (or as they see fit). Many women enjoy performing housework -- there is nothing wrong with that. What is needed is the choice for women to decide if they wish to do that, the same choice that is afforded to men.

The importance of housework during the pandemic and the recent decision on Roe v. Wade underscores that we cannot let this divide control us any further. We must recognize our collective struggles and refine our demands and accomplish them.

In short, I am just asking for a more nuanced and transparent conversation about what empowerment in our modern society truly should look like -- and part of that involves recognizing the ways that we are exploited both in the labor force and inside the home.

I don't have all the answers, but I hope our conversations can find common ground across different women's experiences. I think the concept of intersectionality has been a good start but has not gone far enough in identifying the leading causes of our continued exploitation under a capitalist system. The continued dismissal of women's unpaid housework and the oversimplification of women's employment as empowerment are cases in point.

Whether you have an interest in feminist discourse or not, the insights of Federici and its application to our modern society are extremely important facts to reckon with both on a personal and intellectual level.

I hope to flesh out more of my views on the feminist movement in later posts, but for now, thank you for reading and I hope my words (and those of Federici's) spoke to you.

-AMP

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kingsmanassemble · 4 years

Text

Got into the habit of saying "not to be gay" as a joke to my sister and friends (the only ones who im out to) and now i've started saying "not to be gay, but he's kinda hot" and then having to remind myself that's not the gay part sweetie

#into #it's just a natural response now i say it so often lmfao #oops #to clarify i'm pretty sure i'm biromantic #but like 70:30 women:men #i have very specific taste in men #and 90% of that is matthew baynton tbh #jokes but i'm big into him #so my type is predominantly tall lanky dorky guys with nice smiles and good senses of humour #sometimes shorter chubbier guys with a sense of humour and nice eyes or smile #and i'm into a lot of fictional characters but i'm p aure that's bc they're fictional lmfao #there are only 3 actual real life men i have ever been #not counting like childhood crushes #i'm much more flexible with women and i have no idea why that is #but there we go 😂#very random #and none of you needed to know this but #also if anyone hates on me for being bi but using the term gay i'll end you 👍🏻#about me

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demonslayedher · 3 years

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What are your favourite canon/non canon ships in kny? If you ever cared about

Hang on, Anon. This is probably gonna go in an expected direction. If you've noticed, I've recently reblogged some of my thoughts on canon pairings (or popular pairings), and if I've created content, that's generally a sign that I enjoy it. But you got me there, I’m really not that much of a shipper in the first place. I’m usually very enthralled by epic bromance (all my OTPs are BroTPs), and I go wild for all sorts of platonic closeness and tension and fluff, but I’m just ‘meh’ about romance elements. However, there are three reasons I why I do enjoy the canon ships in KnY: 1. I’m obsessed with KnY 2. Romance wasn’t a big element in canon, which may be why I’m left with appetite for it 3. I love these characters and I want them to be happy and I am very curious about them, which means wanting to know anything Gotouge gives us about their love lives too Since I have a preference for sticking close to canon I have a preference for canon ship content, but I generally enjoy a lot of cute fanart for pairings even if I don’t interpret them as romantic.

Back to canon and wanting to know everything about it, though, there’s little details that of course get very curious. And from those ponderings about canon details, it's made me ask some questions about off-screen pairings, or potential post-canon pairings. There is one pairing in particular I've never seen content for, which I'm going to go into more detail about for most of this post, but due to the age of the characters and some people not being comfortable with that, it's behind the cut (that said, illicit content has been very, very purposely avoided, and I've gone to lengths in my headcanons to make them have to be aged up before anything happens). So like, canon ponderings:

We know Sanemi and Giyuu left descendants, but with whom? How did that go down, with the knowledge that they probably wouldn’t be around long? Various swordsmen and Kakushi have expressed in passing that they want a partner or liked someone, but how common is it for them to have a partner? If so, do they tend to be inside or outside the Corp? In the light novels Haganezuka had a match-making meeting with a woman who had no appreciation for sword smithery, who in the world thought it would be a good idea to let a women like that even know of the existence of the Nichirin sword making practice?

There’s a passing detail in Fanbook 1 that stated Urokodaki is single, but he has a woman who he likes. However, things don’t really progress between them. Who is this mystery woman? A widower whom he’s only had casual exchanges with down in the nearby village? A woman who has known him since his demon slaying days, but who has always remained a tease? Has Tanjiro met her, or would he recognize her scent? Do they only have rendezvous when Urokodaki is alone without students? Tell me more, Gotouge, tell me more!! Then again, sometimes Gotouge tells us more than we bargained for, like in Fanbook 2 when it’s stated that girls of the Ubuyashiki clan must marry out and change their last name before the age of 13, or no matter how careful they are, they’ll meet an early death due to sudden illness or accident. I have more analysis of this under the cut which I have striven to keep at a wide audience's comfort level, but again, it is below the cut so that people who aren't comfortable with this part of canon can choose not to read on. Buuuut, this is my starting point for wondering where other characters wind up, and with whom.

So with this uncomfortable "marry out by 13" thing, I hope this is like some forms of historical child marriages which were only formalities between families for a long time while the children continued to grow up, like a betrothal that already has paperwork done, as the kicker here is the last name change. At least, I find enough flexibility in the wording of this detail that I think it's okay to interpret it generously. In the KnY universe, there is a lot resting on being an Ubuyashiki (and marriage is as powerful as genes, apparently), and everyone born into or married into their clan has their own role to play almost as soon as they can walk and talk for the sake of the mission to take down Muzan. Tragedy, both widespread and personal, is just part of the Ubuyashiki existence. If Kagaya’s distressingly young marriage is anything to go by, they did not consider innocence something they could afford.

Still, they are keen to do anything that may offset their curse and/or protect their children (Amane’s daily purification rituals no matter the weather (Fanbook 2), raising the frail boys as girls until they take up an adult man’s role (even at the age of 4, like Kagaya (Fanbook 2), etc.). I’m inclined to think that they chose the marriageable age based on incidents of daughters' deaths in family history and decided it wasn’t worth risking it. Even if they still stayed in the family home for a while with a different name, they were essentially raised as small adults, so they probably still left the home younger than would had been normal in any given time period. Since nobles/warrior clans adopting each other daughters’ out and raising them before marrying them off to other clans or to people within their own clan (this makes Sengoku era relationship maps between samurai clans such a mess), I’ll bet that simply getting adopted out happened a lot too, but their fates might be totally out of the Ubuyashiki’s clan hands that way. At least in an arranged marriage, it’s an agreement between families.

Once we get to Taisho, they’ve gotten pretty established in how they protect their girls from the Ubuyashiki curse, and as Fanbook 2 tells us, Kiriya doesn’t believe the curse is lifted until he reaches his 30’s, which is a very emotional realization for him (he had felt certain he'd die in his 20's). That means, a few years after canon, he probably looked at his remaining sisters one day and said, “you guys gotta get out. Where do you want to go?”

So. For Kanata, the more mild-mannered of the two, the one who is scared of bugs but didn’t bat an eye at Genya being rough with her, I wondered if there might be distant relatives on their mother’s side (clans can be big, I’m not very concerned about inbreeding here) who wish to take her in and have her married to a son near her age. She would be a Himorogi, and would take up the Himorogi clan’s shrine-tending mission. From the Ubuyashiki clan perspective, this is like thanking the Himorogi clan for their centuries of assistance and brides who married into harsh Ubuyashiki fates.

This leaves a little more freedom for Kuina, the more fiery one who slapped sense back into Kiriya when he needed it. She proposes an idea, someone who has always been on her periphery, but she’s probably only had limited interaction with. Enough to develop a crush on someone, but not enough to say you’re more than an acquaintance. Kiriya thinks it’s an outstanding idea, especially since this is also a clan who the Ubuyashiki clan has long been indebted to.

Apologies for my terrible handwriting. The idea was just to do a few doodles to explain the set-up, but doodling led to more ideas and next thing you know I awoke from a doodle stupor like, “did I draw all this?” And when I’m in this doodle-mode, anatomy is all made up and bone-structure does matter. Style consistency is an illusion. There are no plans, only draw.

So anyway. As honored as Shinjuro is by the idea of an Ubuyashiki-Rengoku union, Senjuro is a Taisho-minded, fresh young adult (based on my best guess on his age in canon (based on him being a 1st year Kimetsu Academy student), as age 12, while Kuina is 8). Senjuro wants nothing to do with this old-fashioned, superstitious, hand-waving way of marrying off a young girl who doesn’t know any better. And, dang it, he’s a young man with needs, and he’ll in no way expect a young girl to fulfill them! He wouldn’t even want to!

Shinjuro, who probably would have preferred to have been born in the Warring States heyday of swordsmanship, isn’t that privy to his son’s fancy modern-minded arguments and generally dismisses them. Even if Senjuro does have a point about Kuina being very young, Shinjuro thinks Senjuro is just playing around with his girlfriend (Mitsuri’s youngest sister, in case my handwriting isn’t very clear), and tells him that he shouldn’t put off getting married anyway, like Kyojuro did—

--and, whoops, Shinjuro stops himself and fumbles around a bit. Got himself a little too emotional and didn’t mean to take it out on Senjuro, who he simply fears losing too young too. It’s too late for Shinjuro to hide he’s thinking this, though, so Senjuro relents a bit, but still concludes the argument that day that even if Senjuro did accept this marriage proposal, Shinjuro would actually have to wait even longer for grandchildren than if he were just to let Senjuro do what he likes.

But then, if we stick with what canon has told us is the rule (but hasn’t actually followed through on its own threat), it’s around this time that Giyuu or Sanemi may drop dead.

This is a shock to everyone, even if they did know to see it coming. Senjuro is hit with the weight of a girl’s life on the line, so this is what prompts him to accept the marriage. On conditions, though! It’s only a paper marriage until she’s of age, besides, he’s already made plans to leave home and reside elsewhere for the university studies he’s starting soon (and since he’s really only doing this as a favor, there’s a part of him that sees it as a temporary arrangement). Still, this means he needs to set his affairs in order.

In case my handwriting is unclear, the kicker here is that yeah, Senjuro is the one under pressure to carry on the Rengoku family name in the first place because he’s the only one left. He finds his bitterness about this directed at Kyojuro, but Kyojuro doesn’t deserve that, and Senjuro starts to resent Kuina for making him think uncharitably toward his brother (however reasonable of a grief response this is, even years later). He stresses that the marriage is only a formality for now, and never goes out of his way to communicate with her. If anything, he dodges correspondence and finds excuses to stay busy at university, and his only infrequent meetings with her are at gatherings Shinjuro dragged him to, or where there were going to be a lot of Corp retirees whom Senjuro wanted to see anyway (and knew he’d spent most of his socializing with). Tanjiro becomes aware of the marriage through his other correspondences and congratulates him, but Senjuro only acknowledges his warm wishes as much as politeness dictates.

And at some point, Kuina has moved in to the Rengoku family home.

It’s been a while, but she’s still not of legal age when this happens, and she’s cursed to still look much, much younger than her actual age (making it harder for Senjuro to recognize that she has aged at all, in all this time). It drives Senjuro a little crazy how both his father and Kuina and Kiriya see nothing wrong with this. He reacts by trying to shut himself away (they have their own private bedrooms), and his resentment toward Kuina grows with how she acts so much like she belongs there as a doting wife.

So anyway, more time passes, and with the situation being less avoidable with her residing in his home (though he still has his own small place by his university, where this whole mess is a secret), Senjuro gets more fretful about it—especially once Kuina is of age. Shinjuro and Kuina feel like they already spared his feelings by delaying the evitable, and he’s just delaying more due to his hesitant nature. From Senjuro’s perspective, he’s trying to be kind and do her right, but he’s generally very avoided of her, like her whole existence is a burden.

Yeah, I don’t know what’s happening with my art style by this point. I don’t even know why I’ve drawn so much. Making set-up for a romantic pairing feels weird. Onward we go anyway. Senjuro can no longer outright ignore her, he’s got to confront that he’s stuck! But has he confronted the actual person whom he charitably rescued? Only as much as one confronts a thorn in their side.

Kuina and Shinjuro get along well because they do have shared experience, which Senjuro never attained. He felt the weight of the Corp mission simply by accident of the family he was born into, but he was never directly involved, even if that was what he had spent his whole childhood striving for. This almost gives Kuina and Shinjuro a dynamic of seeing Senjuro as the child in this relationship, he’s the one whose innocence in the face of violence has never been lost.

Still, Kuina tries to be sympathetic. She knows how much Senjuro looked up to Kyojuro, and how much Kyojuro cared about him, and how much it hurt everyone to lose Kyojuro. She misses him too. So when she, as a member of the Rengoku household, goes to tend the Rengoku family grave on the anniversary of her late elder brother-in-law’s death, she does so in full sincerity. But Senjuro has been distancing himself so much and reading all her intentions as cheeky and pushy and getting her way, and he doesn’t take kindly to her pushing in on his grief.

You didn’t think I’d get through this without Kuina slapping him, right? I try to stick close to canon and that is her primary canonical character trait.

Anyway, it’s not the slap, but the look into Kuina’s feelings that shakes Senjuro, since he’s never deeply considered her feelings. He had dismissed her as a child who didn’t understand anything so long ago that he ignored what he knew all along, that the Ubuyashiki children grew up under immense pressure and were directly involved in the fight to take down Kibutsuji Muzan himself. All this time, he hadn’t been considering who she is, and her true feelings whatsoever, for she always kept a cap on her emotions so well.

And for the first time, Senjuro realizes she’s kind of incredible, and that he’s been a jerk who hasn’t bothered at all to recognize that. And that is the start of them actually working toward a true relationship.

She accepts his apology, and they wind up having a long talk about Kyojuro, mostly Senjuro talking, but he very honestly appreciates hearing about what his brother was like at Pillar meetings and the impact he had on the whole Corp. Little by little (not the same day, just in daily life), they wind up talking more about their other family members, and Senjuro has to do a lot more listening. They get into the deepest discussions when talking about their mothers, whom Senjuro only knows through what he’s been told, and whom Kuina was very influenced by. They find a lot of similarities between their mothers, at least based on what they know of them.

And, while getting to know each other, Senjuro feels humbled by how he never actually did anything but pray for the Corp, whereas it was normal for Kuina to see children off to their deaths. Even with vastly different experiences, they find they can relate to each other on the pressures of having grown up in clans with such histories. Senjuro, who has been doing very well as a scholar, is humbled by the sharp mental prowess Kuina possesses, but she assures him that her education was deep but very narrow, he’s been right all along, she really doesn’t know much else about the world. And, while being peeved by his behavior, she had been dismissing his perspective.

And for all this time it takes for them to get to know each other, Shinjuro is on the sidelines, trying not to spoil the good progress by revealing that he’s been eavesdropping and praying and asking for Ruka and Kyojuro’s and Oyakata-sama’s blessing that it continues to (finally) go well, as he did feel some guilt for forcing Senjuro into this when things were especially sour.

So anyway. It takes a very long time, but eventually they become a couple in full and have genuine affection for each other. Their children have the most intense stares, and the daughters have black hair, which throws everyone off. They live long happy lives, Gotouge style (if you’ve survived Muzan and haven’t gotten a mark, anyway). The end. EDIT: I suppose I couldn't get this far without attempting to draw what children with an Ubuyashiki-Rengoku gene pool would look like.

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nashibirne · 3 years

Text

London Calling - 2

So, guys...I know it took me a while but here it is. Part 2 of Bodyguard! August and his adventures in London. I hope there are still some people out there who want to read this. Enjoy and let me know what you think! Every single comment/reblog/like is very appreciated 💜

Pairing: August Walker x ofc (Lucretia "Lu" Johnson)

Words: ~ 3.2

Summary and A/N: This story plays with the thought of "what if…" What if August Walker had taken another road? What if he had turned into John Lark for completely different reasons? What if he had found love before becoming a bitter, disillusioned man?So the events of "London Calling" take place about ten years prior to MI:Fallout and August Walker hasn't joined the CIA yet, he's an FBI Agent and his new mission in London that lies ahead of him is going to be a challenging one. Maybe it's even going to change his life.

Find the previous chapter and my other fics here: Nashi's Masterlist.

Warnings: 18+! This story deals with the topic of a toxic/abusive relationship, gaslighting and problematic behavior of one of the protagonists in general. Please don't read if these topics trigger you or make you feel uncomfortable.

English is not my mother tongue but the lovely @sillyrabbit81 was so kind to be my very helpful and patient Beta! Thank you so, so much, bunny 🐇💜 (Edited by me, so there might still be mistakes and they're all mine)

Credits/Disclaimer: I don't own August Walker or anything related to MI:Fallout. Pics for the moodboard from pinterest, face claims: Lu - Hannah van der Westhuysen, Adam - Freddie Thorpe. FaceApp helped me with making August look a little younger.

Ready? Let's go!

*********

"John Lark," Adam said to Lu, who was sitting opposite of him at the dining table, having a coffee and some fruits for breakfast. He grinned and rolled his eyes. "What a boring name. Let's hope he has a boring personality as well and likes staying in the background just like poor old Eddie."

Lu shook her head with a sad smile. "I still can't believe he's dead. I mean, one moment he's alive and kicking and then he misses a red light and is six feet under."

"He should have been careful, baby. He was an idiot anyway. Please don't tell me you liked the old grinch." Adam ran a hand through his light brown hair and gave her a surprised glance.

"I did like him and he wasn't old, not even 50. He was a nice guy, always friendly and helpful." She leaned back in her chair with a sigh and looked out of the large windows that gave a fantastic view on the Thames and the city of London.

"Did you fuck him?"

Lu froze at the coldness in his voice, that sent icy shivers down her spine.

"Of course not, I…I would never...he wouldn't have..." She stared at the man she was going to marry in just a few months, eyes wide, lump in her throat, feeling offended and unsettled by his accusation.

Adam burst out laughing. "You should see your face, Lu," he chuckled with a big grin on his attractive face. "It's hilarious, you're so easy to lead on, darling. It's really cute how naive you can be. That's exactly the reason why I have to look after you by the way. People take advantage of you but no one fucks around with Adam Mayfield." He gave her a wink but she knew he wasn't just teasing her, he meant it. Lu forced a grin, trying to relax and regain her composure by taking a deep breath. Getting serious he reached over the table and took her hand, pressing a tender kiss on her knuckles. "I was joking of course, I know you are loyal, baby. You're not a cheating whore. If you were I wouldn't marry you and if you were I would know. Nothing remains a secret to me. Nothing, Lu. Never forget that. No secrets."

She gave him a sweet smile and squeezed his hand, her heart beating like crazy. "No secrets," she said because she knew that's what he wanted to hear.

Adam gave her an approving nod, obviously content with her answer.

"So, until Lark arrives the day after tomorrow, Big Ben is gonna take care of you."

"What about you, won't you need him?"

Lu was genuinely surprised. Since Eddie's accident, Andy, the third member of their security staff, had taken over his duties. Big Ben was Adam's bodyguard, more than that actually, over the years he had become his right hand, his assistant, his eyes, his ears, his shadow. The middle aged man, with the thin, sparse light blonde hair and the hooked nose that dominated his puffy face with the pasty complexion, was a nice guy on first sight, always very polite and friendly, always up for a joke, but he had something in his watery eyes that scared Lu. Maybe it was because he was so loyally devoted to Adam. Lu had never heard him question any order, he did whatever he was told to and Lu was absolutely convinced he would turn against her in the blink of an eye, if Adam asked him to. She feared him and she didn't trust him and she was quite sure the feeling was mutual.

"I can do without him for two days, right Ben?" He asked the man who was entering the room right then.

"Sir?"

"You'll look after Miss Johnson today and tomorrow and Andy will keep an eye on me."

"Of course," Big Ben nodded with a smile. The nickname was pretty ridiculous, because he was anything but big. He was neither tall nor broad. He was hardly Lu's height and a little overweight but he was tough and a skilled martial arts fighter. He had been pretty successful in his youth, winning various tournaments and he was still very strong and flexible. Lu had watched him doing some Jiu Jiutsu with Adam a few times and it had been impressive to see the stocky guy so agile and light-footed.

"I won't be much of a nuisance, Ben," Lu said, "I will be busy preparing the vernissage for the rest of the week, so we'll be at the gallery most of the time."

"That's fine, Miss Johnson. I like the gallery. I don't know much about art but you have some beautiful paintings there."

***

An hour later Big Ben was looking at one of these paintings and Lu was watching him closely. Something was off, not only today, it had been for a few days. It started with Adam letting Andy stay with her at the gallery all day. That was very unusual. Eddie had always run errands while she had been working or he had washed the car or whatever. She didn't need him around, the gallery was a safe place, nothing bad had ever been happening there. She had asked Andy a few times why it was necessary that he stayed but he'd always said he didn't know and was just following Mr. Mayfield's orders. And now there was Ben, who was obviously trying to pump some kind of information out of her, asking strange questions.

He was subtle, she had to admit that, but just like anyone, including Adam, he underestimated her. He and the rest of the world considered her to be just a blonde bimbo, Adam's arm candy, a classic gold digger and nothing more. She could hardly blame people for thinking that way and actually she even liked flying under the radar. It gave her a certain kind of freedom because nobody was really paying attention to what she did. Adam was the one in the limelight and since she'd never dare to steal his thunder even the yellow press found her too boring to write about her. So she was able to focus on her work and try to make herself a name as a galerist, not as Adam Mayfield's trophy girlfriend.

She knew most people thought she wasn't very clever, but as hard as her youth had been it had given her two very useful skills, street-smartness and the ability to judge character. She had more knowledge of human nature than most women her age and she for sure could tell when someone was trying to hide something from her.

"Eddie liked that painting too," she said with a smile. It was a lie, Eddie had never been taking interest in any of the artwork she presented in her gallery but she wanted to get Ben to talk.

"Really?" A sad look crossed Benjamin's face. He and Eddie had been pretty close and Lu imagined he was mourning his old friend badly.

She gave him a nod and a friendly smile. "You miss him, don't you?"

"Of course, Miss Johnson."

"Lu," she corrected him for the millionth time although she knew he'd continue calling her by her last name. She had no idea why he insisted on this formal way of addressing her, all the other staff members called her by her first name, but since he did the same with Adam she supposed it was just his way of showing respect and keeping a professional distance. "I miss him too. I can't believe he was so irresponsible. He was always such a careful driver, he never even got a ticket for wrong parking."

Big Ben wrinkled his nose. "I'm sure he wasn't acting irresponsibly. It was an accident."

"Well, Adam said he missed a red light because he was distracted by answering his phone. That's pretty irresponsible, if you ask me."

She saw his jaw working and his hands were balled into fists. Her accusations were making him angry and she assumed that meant they were wrong.

"We don't really know what happened. Just what the police file says," he replied with a shrug.

"And you assume that it's not telling the truth?"

"I don't assume anything, Miss Johnson. I believe in the things Mr Mayfield tells me. And so do you, I guess."

"Of course I do," Lu said quickly, dropping the topic, fully aware of the threat that his words involved. She had heard enough anyway.

****

August took a deep breath before he dropped his suitcase on the floor and took a look around. The room -his room- was nice. Big and bright, with large windows and a big bed that appeared to be very comfy. The en suite bathroom was luxurious and gave off spa vibes while the modern paintings and photographs on the walls made the room look like a very stylish and exclusive hotel suite. He liked that, but he had to remind himself that this wasn't a city trip for a weekend, this was his job and his new life.

He had spent the last days slipping on his new personality, becoming John Lark, embracing his alter ego. He grinned when saw his reflection in the window. That mustache and the three day stubble he wore now was an unusual sight but he had to admit he liked the new look, it suited him. August unpacked his suitcase, placing his clothes in the closet and the few personal items John Lark owned in and on the nightstand. A few books, a moleskin and a pen, a jump rope and a pull-up bar for staying in shape and his personal mobile. He had been handed out an official cell phone by that guy called Ben right at the airport where he had picked him up. He put on the watch Lark's mother had given him after high school graduation, his initials engraved on the back. 6:45. Fifteen minutes till dinner. He had been asked to eat with them to meet Mayfield and his Barbie. Miss Johnson. Just be professional, he scolded himself, she's your target.

Don't fuck this up. Kyle's words resonated in his head. This had to be his goddamn creed from now on if he wanted to join Erica Sloane's team at the CIA, and fuck he did. She was infamous for being the toughest and strictest woman at the agency and for being the best. Her team consisted of the most respected and effective agents and that was exactly where he belonged. He wanted to work with the best, he wanted to be top of the class, he intended to become primus inter pares. The best of the best, notorious, feared, valued, celebrated, desired...all those things that had been refused to him throughout his childhood and youth. He had been a victim till he joined the army, a loser, a pussy. Now he was a winner and he would become a champ and claim what he deserved.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

"Ready, Lark?"

"Coming."

He put on his jacket and straightened the soft brown fabric of his suit. Adjusting the matching tie, taking a deep breath he opened the door and smiled at Ben who just gave him a nod.

"Let's go," he said. "They're waiting."

****

She knew John Lark was trouble the moment she saw him. It was nothing specific that made her feel this way, not his looks or his behaviour, it was more the aura that surrounded him. Lu couldn't quite put a finger on it, but she knew she had to be careful around him right away.

"Mr. Lark...John," Adam greeted his new employee friendly, flashing him a bright smile. "I suppose it's okay to call you John?" Not waiting for an answer he continued while shaking August's hand. "Really nice to meet you. Welcome to your new home."

August returned the smile. "Thank you, Mr. Mayfield. Nice to meet you too."

"Please, call me Adam. There's no need for formalities. After all, we're going to live together, work together…"

Another charming smile. The guy was smooth, August had to admit. He was even more handsome than his picture had suggested, with fine facial features, tall and lean, exuding natural elegance and wit. A charmer and a ladies man for sure.

"This is my fiancee, Lu Johnson." Adam pulled Lu close, wrapping his arm around her shoulder in a possessive manner before kissing her cheek tenderly. He usually wasn't the kind of person who liked public displays of affection but Lu knew it was his way to put John Lark into his place right from the start, to make sure he was aware who she belonged to.

Lark was dangerously good looking and way too attractive for Adam to let it go without staking his claim. Not that Lu was interested in him, he wasn't even her type -too many muscles and probably too little brains- and she would never dare to even look at another man. But objectively he was very good looking, tall and broad shouldered, sharp jawline, a handsome face, outstanding blue eyes, and most of all he had an appeal that obviously hadn't remained hidden to Adam. "She's going to be your charge. I cherish her like life itself. Make sure you do the same when I'm not around."

Mayfield kissed her again and she blushed, obviously feeling uncomfortable being the center of attention.

"John," she said softly, extending her hand to him gracefully with a polite but distant smile on her pretty face. Just like her fiance she was strikingly beautiful but in comparison her beauty was a little steril, forced. She was lacking the naturalness Mayfield owned, maybe because she wasn't born into the social class she lived in now. It felt like she was wearing a mask. Her appearance was too immaculate to be real, too perfect. There had to be a crack in it, nobody was free of flaws, but whatever it was that was lying underneath the sleek, stainless surface, she was hiding it well.

"Miss Johnson." August shook her hand and held her gaze, giving her a smile and a respectful nod.

"Lu, please," she offered stiffly, pointing at the set dining table. "Why don't we sit."

"Yes, darling, you're right. Let's eat before the Beef Wellington gets cold."

***

August found all of his prejudice confirmed during dinner. Mayfield was a cocky prick, who tried to hide his asshole side under a veil of sophistication and British humour. That veil, luckily, was full of holes big enough for August to see right through.

Johnson however was an ice queen. Cool and aloof, not willing to lower herself to talk to the newest member of her royal court. He wanted nothing more than to ignore her, to make her feel that he wasn't in need of her attention, to make it clear that he wasn't attracted to her in any way. It was actually true. She was pretty of course and sexy, too, but the kind of beauty she represented was not his cup of tea. She was one of those ethereal beings who were much too fragile for him, too fanciful, too distant. Like a precious showpiece that was presented on a pedestal and that whispered "look at me" seductively but at the same time it shouted "don't touch…you're not worthy". He needed a woman to be more than beautiful, he liked women that were sturdy and energetic, lively and witty, confident and strong. He didn't want a queen, he wanted an amazon.

So all of this and more made him dislike her, but he still had to be friendly and charming to gain her trust and to make her fond of him without alarming Mayfield. He was obviously very possessive and protective, the jealous-for-no-reason kind of guy who would make his woman wear a chastity belt if it was socially acceptable. To sum it up, this job was a ride on the razor's edge.

"So how do you like your room, John?" Lu turned to him with a friendly smile. Those were the first words she addressed to him since they'd sat down to eat. Adam had engaged Lark in conversation from the very first moment and Lu took care not to interrupt him. He hated it and he'd accuse her of stealing his thunder afterwards for sure. So she kept quiet, trying to blend into the scenery, contenting herself with being not much more than a pretty ornament, decoration like the sculptures that were placed all over the penthouse - a beautiful, silent object. When Adams' phone rang, he took the call with an apologetic smile, leaving the room in a hurry. Now she was forced to make conversation with her new bodyguard and she felt uncomfortable and awkward because she assumed that he didn't like her. He had seen her and he had branded her, just like anybody else, she was quite sure of that.

"It's great, I like the modern style," August said, returning her smile.

"Really? I'm so glad to hear that." Her face lit up in an instant, her lips curling up into a genuine smile. "I refurbished it a few months ago and Eddie... your predecessor… he didn't really like it."

"Oh, why's that?"

Lu took a deep breath before she answered. "I'm not sure, I never asked him. I didn't want to put him on the spot, but I guess it wasn't cosy in his eyes. Not warm enough. He was a very traditional man…," Lu said and her expression softened with her words, her eyes giving away that she had liked the guy, that she was mourning him.

Not the ice queen you pretend to be, August thought surprised.

"Well, I'm not a traditionalist, I like it bright and clear. The black and white photos are really interesting."

"Aren't they?" Lu agreed with excitement that made her voice sound different, like it had just been brought to life. "They are works by a very talented young artist from France. I discovered her art when we were in Paris last year and now I exhibit her photographs in my gallery. People love her unique take on everyday life, the way she plays with light and angles. She's one of my most successful…"

"Don't bore your new guardian angel to death with your art stuff on the very first day, honey," Adam interrupted her chuckling, when he joined them again.

"I was just talking about the pictures in John's room."

"Sure, and those are lovely pictures," he gave her a generous smile and a peck on the cheek, "but we both know you tend to babble on about the topic and that can be a little unnerving."

"Of course, you're right, darling." Lu's mask was back on, her expression blank again. "I'm sorry, John. Sometimes I forget that most people don't share my passion for art. Consider yourself lucky that Adam saved you just in time."

John gave her a nod and a smile. He wanted to say something, feeling the need to let her know that she hadn't been boring him, but before he was able to do so, Adam carried on with their conversation about his new job and his duties and the wasted chance to show his solidarity with her left a bitter taste in John Lark's mouth.

*******

Taglist (let me know if you want to be added or removed)

@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @artandotherdelights @notabronte @littlefreya @luclittlepond @eldarwen333 @meowpurrbooks @marantha @liliumdream @enchantedbytomandhenry @greensleeves888 @witcherfan @margauxmargaux07 @radaofrivia @m07belzen @a-little-counter-esperanto @starstruckkittyangel @mary-ann84 @sillyrabbit81 @emelinelovesjc @wheretheriversrunintothesea @lam0ureuxq @kingliam2019 @pandaxnienke @littleone65 @coloraturadiva

#henry cavill #cavillry #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill fanfiction #august walker #august walker x ofc #august walker fanfiction #slow burn

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x0401x · 2 years

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I think they already asked you this. How do you think all the high society invited to Julia's wedding acted when they saw that Chief Gilbert, a man, who was not married, and to top it off his fiancée ran away, seeing him with a woman. Rumors would fly

Oh, boy. You just pressed the button. This is gonna be long.

In all honesty, rumors should've already been flying ages ago. I mean, Gil probably married at 35. The head of the family, single until after his 30's. There would've been tons of rumors about him being gay at this point. Actually, there would've been rumors about him ever since his fiancée ran away. Nobody would care that he was just 14 back then. He lost his father and his betrothed almost at the same time? Just after his brother broke family tradition and got disowned, no less? That's some yummy food for the grapevine, if you ask me.

I can't even think of a proper reason why his mother didn't arrange him to marry someone else as soon as the incident happened. I mean, who cares that he was the new family head by then? He would've lost the respect of the other aristocratic families if he didn't marry as fast as possible after that one. Maybe he would've managed to stretch it because no time to be interviewing candidates now, gotta concentrate on graduating, and perhaps he could've kept buying time when the war was going on, but after it was over, marriage was already long overdue for him.

I mean, come on. He was 29, hot as fuck despite losing 1/4 of his face, filthy-rich and bathing in honors and merits from his deeds in the military. Since Violet was basically non-existent in the army on paper, I'm willing to bet that he was the one who got the credit for ending the war, so he was probably considered a war hero too. If this were real life, there'd be women throwing themselves at his feet and begging him to marry them. And yet, he was living all alone, apparently with no visitors except for Hodgins and relatives. People would be fully convinced that he's gay by then, lmfaooo.

No, but seriously. If VE has one flaw as a story, is that it's set in a steampunk western society with a thoroughly present-day East-Asian mindset. Akatsuki Kana is a brilliant writer, but she clearly has no idea how societal norms work in the occident. Like, at all.

I already mentioned this before when I talked about work culture and lifestyle in VE. Both operate entirely on modern Japanese standards. It's as if the thought that maybe things wouldn't be so convenient and flexible in a world where people don't have the same commodities as we do in current times doesn't even go through her head. I wish she had done a bit more research in that regard, but I guess most people can't really imagine that something they consider to be a minor detail in their culture might be a major characteristic in others.

One of those things that aren't much of a big deal in Japanese society but are a very big deal in western societies is marriage. To us, marriage is directly linked to family and religion. In old times, it was also linked to status. To the Japanese, none of that necessarily applies. Some people even get married without telling any of their relatives or friends about it. It's totally okay to do that over there.

But that's not how it goes in the West. Not only Gil should've already gotten married, but Julia also shouldn't be allowed to marry before he does. I mean, he's the older one and the head of the family. He should've at least tried to save face in that aspect. Perfect material for public humiliation right there. But not much of a fuck was given, because Akatsuki-sensei most likely doesn't realize how much this should matter.

When I read the ending of EA chapter 6, where Gil for a brief moment contemplated not inviting anyone to his and Violet's wedding, I started laughing real hard, because that's simply not a thing. Both for legal and religious purposes, you need to have at least one witness. And not inviting your family and friends to your own wedding, let alone not making it big when you're from the nobility, isn't a thing either. At least not in the west.

I laughed even harder when I read the conversation that Benedict had with Violet at the end of his booklet, where he tells her to report to him when she decides to get married. And then he proceeds to say that he wouldn't do the same when he gets married, because it'd be "too much work".

In a western society, of course he'd hear of Violet's marriage even without her reporting it to him. Because if she got married, she'd have to do it in the church and hold a party by default. Given that the two of them are so close, not inviting him to either of those would be out of question. Same for Violet in regards to his marriage. He'd have to invite her. It's social obligation. In the western world, that is.

But yeah, Akatsuki-sensei lives in a different reality, and again, she certainly can't tell that these things are literally defining traits of occidental cultures. Maybe one day, if she decides to make another western-based story, she'll have studied more about that matter. But when it comes to VE, this facet of it is definitely a miss for me. The only one, I guess, though it incorporates a lot of stuff.

Sorry for the wall of text, lol.

#violet evergarden #gilbert bougainvillea #akatsuki kana

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filmmakerdreamst · 4 years

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Xena: Warrior Princess Review

During Pride Month 2020, I finally got around to watch ‘Xena’. A show that had been in my to-watch list for years, but never got around to start. And when I finally did, I was pleasantly surprised. It was not what I expected and it was everything I think my 11 year old self would have loved.

The one thing that surprised me about the show, was the lack of packaging. Even though it was a fantasy, it also played with different kinds of genres too. I’ve talked about this before in my other review - ‘Xena’ was made at a time when TV had very few rules/rarely had a set audience, since there were parts of the show that were clearly for kids and there were other parts that were clearly for adults (therefore had much more flexibility). I admired how they weren’t afraid to break barriers and touch on deep themes such as religion, morality, redemption, spirituality, motherhood, forgiveness etc - even more than shows of today are able. I also loved how they played into the idea of ‘murder’ and how much it can damage a person - not just the person who commits the act, but the many people affected afterwards. I wasn’t expecting it to be that extreme. It made me think that this must of been the inspiration for ‘Game of Thrones’.

I see a lot of comments here and there, saying how ‘cheesy and terrible’ it was but to just accept it because its part of the fun. And while like any show it does suffer from the occasional spell of bad writing (the whole of season 5) but it was also shown to be very aware of that fact and never took itself too seriously - unlike some shows I could mention.

And regarding the ‘cheese’ factor (what 90s show wasn’t) It definitely can be, but I would call it ‘camp’ and ‘experimental’ more than anything else. (Don’t diss the poor use of CGI - I’m personally sympathetic to what was avaliable to them at the time) The style of humour reminded me of Taika Waititi’s filmmaking. If you’ve watched any of his films such as ‘Hunt for The Wilderpeople’ or ‘Jojo Rabbit’, then you know what I’m talking about. I liked how little they cared about being accurate or logical, which added to the ‘bonkers’ element in the show - which you can see in all of Taika Waititi’s films.

In all seriousness, a show centered around two women in their late twenties, who are realistic sizes (not trying to play teenagers). One of whom is a reformed mass murderer, who has lived a life experience, trying to do good in the world for the first time, picking the other one up who has no life experience prior (after they bugged them until they said ‘ok fine’) in their path to redemption. Just two women who become friends travelling the world together, fighting crime, having a laff, learning from one another without any toxicity - when suddenly when the stakes are raised - they realise ‘oh I'm actually falling in love with this person’ I have watched a lot of badly written shows in my childhood enough to know that, that’s not ‘cheesy’. I’ve never seen a story like that in my entire life. I’m not at all surprised that Russel T Davis was inspired by it while writing the Doctor and Rose’s relationship in ‘Doctor Who’ since he’s gay himself.

What’s more amazing about their love story is how they’re both develop as separate people as well. There was this video essay explaining ‘Why you should watch Angel’ the spin off series to Buffy; how ‘Buffy The Vampire Slayer ‘was all about growing up and ‘Angel’ was all about being an adult. With Xena: Warrior Princess, you have both of those stories at the same time.

Xena’s character was such a multifaceted experience to watch. And I can’t imagine anyone else who could play her as well as Lucy Lawless. What planet did they get that actress from? She's flawless! The amount of skill she has to put herself into a very physical role is astonishing. I personally had a love/hate relationship with her character all series long. Not in the way that I hated her, just that I couldn’t trust if she was all good or bad, which I know was intentional on the writers part. I haven’t seen a character quite like her before. She felt very much like a fallen angel; almost like the villain of her own story. Some of my favourite episodes come from fleshing out her character and dark past (‘Locked up and Tied Down’ is one of them) which reminds the audience that's she's not the stereotypical hero everyone expects. I loved her transformation from being this incredibly stoic warrior to being content and happy with who she is in season six, all because of a woman she fell in love with along the way.

I’ve always thought of Gabrielle as the real hero and narrator of ‘Xena’. She’s the prime example of ‘a normal person becoming extrodinary’. Gabrielle’s coming of age story starting out as an innocent girl from a poor village dreaming of adventure, and ending as this vicious warrior who realises the ‘adventure’ wasn’t how she made it out to be is honestly the best character arc that I’ve ever seen. I loved how travelling with Xena made her realise her passion for writing (which was never going to happen in her home town, given the ‘sexist’ and ‘heteronormative’ ideas) and that she became a amazon princess like Xena. In regards to her sexuality, which is more up for debate than Xena’s (which I think we can all agree is bisexual) I personally interpret her as gay, just in terms of how she was written. Theres this moment in season 4 where she's being held up her hair, and Xena “symbolically” cuts it off ‘freeing her’. And she never really gets with a man afterwards, unless she’s being ‘possessed. It reminded me of a moment in one of Hayao Miyasaki’s films ‘Laputa, Castle in the Sky’ where the bad guy Moska shoots Sheeta’s ‘princess hair off’ which symbolises her transition from child to adult.

The cinematography was breathtaking. There was some great utilisation of New Zealand as the scenery. So was the soundtrack. You could tell it was made by experienced filmmakers. One of my favourite things about the show was the domestic elements - moments in the show where time seemed to stop - which made the world around the characters seem very real and magical. Even though it was a show that featured a lot of action/adventure, there was also this gentleness to it as well. For example, you could feel the wetness of the rain, the warmth of the sun and the clashing of the waves. This technique is used in Hayao Miayasaki’s work a lot .

The technique is referred to as ‘MA’ 空虚 meaning emptiness in Japanese. ‘Miyasaki describes this as the time between a clap’

“If you just have non stop action, with no breathing space at all, its just busyness. But if you take a moment, then the tension building in the film can grow into a wider dimension” - Hayao Miyasaki

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The episode ‘A Day in the Life’ in season two is a really good example of this technique being used.

To my understanding, they used a lot of the local actors in New Zealand, which according to Lucy Lawless, consisted of ‘African immigrants and other different ethnicites’. It was so refreshing to see such a diverse show (despite some slip ups) especially in the 90s. I appreciated the idea that if the actors or extras couldn’t do an ‘american accent’ people could just talk in their natural speech which was also very refreshing.

The LGBT representation was surprisingly amazing. I never expected so many queer characters in one show - especially under the censors. There was this one episode where they had a trans woman - played by an actual trans actress - win a beauty contest. It made me cry. Not to mention the actress was an aids activist. It was actually Lucy Lawless’ idea to kiss her which was incredibly controversial at that time considering how everyone thought you could catch aids just by kissing. I can definitey see how it validated people back in the 90s.

When people told me that Xena: Warrior Princess was one of the greatest love stories, I thought they were exaggerating a little. But no, watching the show in context, I found out that it really is. Despite its obvious restrictions, It made me realise (regarding token gay couples today) how often television writers rely on physicality and drama to convey a ‘love story’ and how much of it is actually pandering the audience. One of the reasons why Xena and Gabrielle’s relationship felt so genuine is because it was built on mutual respect/compassion and they were also best friends. I felt like I was witnessing something very real and private. It didn’t need kissing scenes or drama to make it interesting.

It really helped that most of the writers were queer also. There’s this opening scene in season 4, panning over to Gabrielle giving Xena a massage (metaphor for sex - because they weren’t able to show that on screen) which I consider to be one of the most iconic scenes in media - considering how I wanted to sick up my supper when I watched the 10 minute ‘empty’ explicit sex scene in ‘Blue in the Warmest Colour’. The difference when something is written by a queer women vs a straight man.

Because the creators weren’t allowed to write their love story in the normal way, due to the studio forbidding them to, they found creative ways to showcase that love on screen - which made for a very magical/sensual experience. And I can safely say, if anyone has doubts about watching ‘Xena’, whenever I expected to be queer baited at a few points in the show, I was proved wrong time and time again. It’s the most romantical show I’ve ever seen in my life!

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erensnubs · 3 years

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𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑪𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑴𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒀𝒐𝒖

Colt Grice x F! Reader Dystopian AU

Chapter 3

Word Count: 1.3k

"Uh hey? You seem lost in thought. "

You shook your head to focus your gaze to the man in front of you. Sandy blonde hair, tall, strong build, and murky green eyes. Considering his body type you assumed he worked somewhere on the Garrison Regiment or one of those cowards, correction, Military Police.

"Yeah, uh do I know you?"

Strangers always approach you when you go out in public. You like to joke how it's because of your adoring looks and alluring aura, but in truth it's just because,

1. You lived with Levi (the ladies are crazy for him)

2. People gossip about you, Hange, Levi, Erwin and Moblit thinking all of you are in some sort of love pentagon

3. You were in the news when you gave Public Health Service Announcements from the government

4. This usually applied to men, some women but not only did you have a wealthy salary, you had a reputation and apparently people like that

"No, I just wanted to talk to someone. It gets tiring to talk to the rich folks," he said sheepishly.

You looked at him inquisitively. The man didn't know who you were.

"Why does it tire you?"

He sighed and walked over next to you and leaned himself on the wall, "They push the same agendas all the time and they talk about trivial, stupid things. It's the same thing over and over again."

He gestured by raising his pointer finger and circling it around in the area, "It gets tedious and they act like it's so important and hilarious every time."

Then he turned to look at you, "But you out of all the people I've seen. You didn't really talk that much only to yourself. What are you thinking about?"

His questions startled you as your eyes squinted and tried to analyze this man. He saw what you were doing and his green eyes followed yours, like you were playing a game of cat and mouse. If that's how it's going to go, you thought. I guess I'll play.

"Why do you ask? Did my mutterings seem incoherent to you?" You countered.

He smiled, "No, it's just you seemed so at peace by yourself, I had to ask what you were thinking about for a person as busy as yourself to be so calm."

Ah so he did know you. So much for having a normal conversation. Not that it was normal in the beginning.

He looked at your disinterested expression and started to apologize profusely, " Oh shit, I didn't mean to offend you. You were just walking around and talking to lots of people… you looked busy and important that's what I'm attempting to say."

Your mouth parted slightly then you slowly closed it. Who was this man? Why was he so straightforward?

Good job probably fucking up your chances with talking to her.

Colt POV Fuck.

She didn't answer and I could feel blood pumping through my head and my face heating up.

Was she disinterested in me? Tired or bothered? Even worse did I come off to her as a "nice" guy that was just trying to get into her pants?

The silence between us was tangible, I felt like I could grab it and wring it out to try and continue this conversation.

I didn't even know this woman's name and yet she still captivated me.

Maybe it was the way she walked up the stairs of the Opera House, her head up high and unfazed. Maybe it was when I locked eyes with her for a split second, before her attention was turned to someone else. Maybe it was the way she smiled so fakely at these people that I wanted to laugh out loud, at her and the fact they couldn't tell it was fake.

Maybe it was the contagious laugh she had, the way her passive personality changed when surrounded by friends. Or the way she flirted with people.

I could tell I sounded like a creep but I've seen her before moving to "Paradis". She was on the news, vigorously explaining concepts, ideas things I never would've thought of in million years. The way she spoke with such passion and feeling about these people's lives, which up until a year ago, I couldn't care less about.

This woman standing next to me, who was probably bored out of her fucking mind, inspired me to find a job in the government, specifically the research and weapons development department. I was still interning at various places before I actually started, but I'm making progress… I'm getting there.

It wasn't her intelligence, or her passion that captivated me. It was her passiveness… her "wallflower" persona if you will, that she puts on to mask, to observe. Why would someone as powerful in wealth and government act that way? How did her personality change from laid-back to bright? Her flexibility confused me and I wanted to find out more. She had the ability to make me be passionate about something other than pleasing my parents…. Why was she so reserved?

Maybe I thought,I shouldn't make assumptions. Yes she was my inspiration, but I didn't even know who she was, what her name was. Living in Marley, we didn't have information on the government officials like the people here so their names were always:

Commander of the Survey Corps

Military Commandant of the Military Police

Or hers:

Head of Research and Data Department

I only knew a title, and a face to match but now I'm looking at her in the flesh. Her presence was underwhelming, but there was a weight to it that I couldn't understand. Was it melancholy? Or was she just a complete mystery to me?

And voila, here I was invited by my manager at the research center for the Science Museum taking me as his plus one, to this formal event.

And here she was, my BIGGEST inspiration, my literal REASON why I wanted to work for the government and I can't even say shit to her?

"I was thinking about possibilities and outcomes for a certain person if I told them to do something," she says finally.

The silence broke, and she looked at me, leaning her head against the wall tilting her face in an alluring expression. Her eyes looked glazed, from the glowing light and I couldn't help but stare at that calm expression. The golden lights of the chandelier reflected on her eyes and they seemed to dance, so softly.

Her lips were slightly parted, chapped on the top, smooth on the bottom as expected of a busy woman, but I have never in my life wanted to touch something more in my life.

I snapped out of my trance and looked at her wide-eyed. So she was thinking about certain possibilities of a hypothetical situation? How far does this woman prepare?

But this was the hard part, I think. How to tell her that "Oh by the way I basically switched careers because I saw you give a speech a year and a half ago and I was inspired" without making it feel weird.

Don't think Colt, just do.

I quickly shook my head and without even thinking I reached out to grab her skirt.

My thumb grazed her fingers slightly, but I still held onto the hem of her dress. She still didn't pull away.

Her eyes locked onto mine in a "what the" expression but I steadied myself, even when the blood rushing through my head was pounding, the sound so loud the only thing I could hook onto was her eyes.

And her dress of course. What the fuck Colt, are you falling in love or something?

I remained calm as I looked at her very, VERY surprised expression. Her body was pulling away from mine, I could feel it but her dress stayed between my fingers.

"Can you tell me about it? While we dance together?"

Prev/next

#colt grice x reader #colt x reader #colt grice #aot fic #colt grice fic #attack on titan fic #aot ff #levi ackerman #hange zoe #erwin smith

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noiwillnotdothefandango · 3 years

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So since @aimicoos / @scara-meow-che is a horny hoe i'm back at it again. So here's some genshin ocs headcanons-stuff-thing

Troupe Soleil

Un/As/Joker general trivia headcanons shit

He refers to his abyss creations as his 'kin' wich..sometimes confuses people and makes them think he's talking about his kids

He's naturally just a really shady person- like, he really just seems like the kinda guy that sells humans on the black market or owns a cult or something....to be fair he probably does-

He actually never tries to be seductive but he sort of comes off as such sometimes and proceeds to be completely oblivious as to why suddenly a shit ton of people are drooling over him

Call him daddy, and you won't see yours again

I'm joking he actually gets pretty flustered and embarassed. He thinks it's very amusing when he returns it and everyone swoons though.

I was listening to this a lot while drawing/making the troupe so do know that these are Un and Deux's duet in my mind now https://youtu.be/DxInYHsgI2Y

He might run a cabaret but he is actually quite a lightweight and becomes kind of an idiot when drunk

Immediately goes from devilish, mysterious handsome barman to a stumbling dumbass who's probably crying about how he forgot one of his kin back in Mondstadt while they were on a tour or smt

Istg he's actually so fcking soft for his bbies

Where'd his abyss energy come from? He'l never say it just because he says it makes him lore mysterious~

It was totally by accident

Or was it

Yeah it was

No it wasn't.

you'l never know ❤️

Okay now actual fanservice

He's very flexible- obviously not as much as Deux. Everyone in the troupe can do a split at the least. But in his case he's a pretty good acrobat even though he's most comfortable on solid ground. He can totally do choreographed dances with Deux on like aerial silk or poles(not the strip club kind of pole dance if that's not obvious..) or just. Yknow. In the air.

It's cute but before a show you'l see him stretching and he asks Deux or Trois for help- it's just kind of cute to see him all disheveled getting ready, with his hair pinned away from his face so he can do his makeup correctly. Like you're so used to seeing him be well put together seeing him be vulnerable is just endearing.

Un fears one man and it's Childe- Childe would probably hear of Un's strenght trough traveler and immediately want to fight him and Un's just really creeped ouf. It's somewhat amusing how the one thing that throws this poor gentleman off is an overly friendly russian dood who really wants to get his ass kicked. Un isn't here to kinkshame but... Childe could like.. dissapear off Teyvat and he would not be sad yknow

Un has kids kin, so i approve of him being called daddy. I mean, it's not wrong.

That being said those creations are temporary and simmilar to slimes in form of creation. As in they are a form born from a bunch of abyss energy.

His arms are actually simmilar to Dainsleif's arm, though it has patterns more simmilarly to Morax's arms.. it is to note that it only spreads up to his forearm.

Though he's an amazing singer, has an amazing voice and is great at speaking well using proper grammar and he's overal just so good at speaking.. he gets pretty nervous when confronted with the idea of speaking up because of how many people just. Zone out. He's insecure about his voice because of how much people just fcking drool over it. Like- it's nice that you think he sounds good but please stop drooling-

What i'm saying is, if you don't have a voice kink, well you do the moment he opens his mouth.

Additional detail but Un is only attracted to women and he gets kind of uncomfortable when men also drool over him. I mean. Women too. Generally speaking he's uncomfortable with people immediately treating him like a lover just because he's their type and he can't even do much about it because It's his job. So he just sucks it up and tries to shift the subject. If it fails he might ultimately resort to asking Trois to escort them out.

He's honestly just. Yes he acts confident but he's still human and just feels so uncomfortable being objectified..

Deux/Dame

She's loosely based on Tsukumo from Karneval. Have i mentionned it yet? She's the image i used here. KARNEVAL IS GOOD. IT'S UNDERRATED. WATCH IT. IT'S SUCH AN UNDERDOG. I own all the mangas 👉👈

She's often mistaken as Un's lover, because of her role as his assistant and right hand woman.

She's not mad about it. She actually kinda blushes at the idea.

She's just not immune to sexy spade man

And now le fanservice

Much like Un she often gets flirted with by customers. She's a lot less patient with them though.

Her uniform is akin to a ballerina, so the skirt is just made to be that high. She has shorts under them, but when she feels someone staring too hard or touching her innapropriately she's honestly not afraid to dropkick them with a straight face. Since she's a waitress she's seen her fair share of bullshit

She will usually call Trois to get any specifically annoying customers out.

She's also not afraid to get Un out of an uncomfortable situation herself. Totally not because she likes the praise he gives her.

Yeah although she's very pretty and often complimented about it she's extremely touch starved and lonely and she absolutely melts under actual praise and not empty 'wow you're really beautiful'

She was raised by parents who only really saw her for her beauty so actually getting validation makes her cold heart thump just a little

Seeing Un with his kin just. Tsundere mode. She totally isn't wishing she was the cute little abyssal ball he's petting right now.

For a specific show she had a cat-theme outfit. And she spent a good chunk of the time before the show practising in the mirror various ways to ask Un to pet her

She didn't end up asking at all fiy

Un could just tell though and when the show ended he lightly patted her head and she looked euphoric

Basically if you want her love. Show her love. It's honestly that simple she's so desperate and lonely-

She honestly cries whenever Trois acts motherly towards her because she's never been treated like an actual daughter before.

Trois/Roi

Her tit'e might be masculine but she's actually still pretty ladylikec

Very confident about her abilities and not shy to express her opinions

She absolutely hates cheaters (wich is why she will never agree to play a card game with Un)

She's actually the most sweet of the troupe despite her rough first impression

She's actually a bit insecure about her height

She gets really stuttery when Un treats her like a fragile little thing because she's so not used to not being in control of a situation

She's not a simp like Deux or anything but like. Un can get her heart to flutter at the least.

She blushes really hard when someone does something romantic or sweet.

She's just used to brutal violence and brutally honest or rough shit

She's unused to the whole sweet gentle slow approach

She's really insecure about how heavy she is because of her body type and strenght.

When Un carries her she feels like a princess and just wants to cry

Un is perfectly understanding of her and is the first to comfort her when she's feeling insecure

Often times she's the one taking care of others so when it's flipped she feels really vulnerable and shitty. She only allows Un to have witness to this because he's someone she trusts with her life.

Quatre/Valet (nothing romantic because he's smoll and deserves to be protected)

His favorite animals are monkeys and foxes

His least favorite are wild dogs

While he calls everyone 'mister' or 'miss (monsieur/mademoiselle) he actually considers Deux to be a big sister figure, Trois to be a parental figure and Un is.....well...his boss (that totally doesn't break Un's heart when he hears it. Poor guy. He half expected for Fabrice to call him his dad figure but this is what he gets 💔 Un is really like: ishould have left you in that orphanage where you were standing you ungrateful bastard)

He actually does look up to Un a lot, just..

He sees Un as a role model is what i'm saying

Actually you'l find him imitating Un the most

He also asks for advice from Un a lot

Still Un's just silently bitter about not being considered family 😶

Nuit

Alright. You wanted this.

Nuit when call him pretty-

It comes out before you can stop it. It's late, he's in his office, goggles resting atop his head messing up the pretty dark locks that framed his slender face. An oil lamp dinly lighting up his workspace casting a warm glow over the golden intricate pieces, gears and screws, his crystal blue eyes narrowed in concentration and strained from the bad lighting. Long lashes almsot fluttering closed with exhaustion- lightly biting his lip in a subconscious fashion. A habit whenever he was deeply concentrated. His eyes sharply shift to you standing in the doorway, eyes suddenly sharp and aware as he tilts his hesd up curiously, gloved hand stained with oil and rust reaching up to tilt his glasses further up his face so he could get a proper look at you. A light pout forming on pale glossy lips, cheeks dusted pink. " excuse me?"

Whenever he hears someone say that it's usually a sort of patronizing situation

"You're so pretty, why are you wasting your time here?"

"You're so pretty, there's no way you're a fighter!"

He half expects it to be followed up with something along the general line of "you're so pretty you should be doing nothing but sitting there looking pretty for everyone to see"

Honestly the only time he'l take it as a compliment is if you're saying it personally and not as a simple passing observation. Otherwise it's sort of a 'and?'

You blink owlishly, remaining silent. He sighs, pushing back in his chair and lazily standing up, putting down the screwdriver back on the table, walking to you in a few strides. The height difference dawning in you as he stood right before you, looking down at you curiously, waiting for you to add another word. He leaned down,the gorgeous gold adorning his ears glimmering unfer the artificial lights of the hallway " what about it?" He huffs, pausing- eyes widening as you raised a gloved hand to his face, rubbing off the oil stain across his nose, allowing the inky black to stain the perfect white satin. "You'd look prettier if you smiled"

Well fuck he has feelings now

Honestly if anyone told him to smile, he'd flash the most genuine, drop dead gorgeous pretty boy smile you could imagine. And then speak in such a dead inside voice "sure, i'll be sure to smile at your funeral when you drop dead old hag~ ❤️"

No really he is not amused.

But that right there-

He's so not used to that motherly, loving personal care. It reminds him of his family, of sofia- just, it makes him feel like home and he just can't help but be nostalgic about things like that.

He's the very definition of domestic he just melts at the idea of a loving warm home. He dreads the cold empty mechanical feeling of wandering alone trying to make purpose of his life stricglh trough revenge. Honestly Nuit feels so hollow 99% of the time he's most vulnerable when he feels even the slightest bit safe

Idk if i mentionned this but betrayal is his biggest fear and the worse insult to him. Not trusting him feels like a stab in the heart, and getting betrayed just feels like it's getting ripped appart. He cannot handle being betrayed at all. He will break down in ugly(pretty) tears.

Haku

Eyyy my 100+ year old virginnn-

I'm joking i'm joking

Honestly Haku is the kind of person to solely be happy from a romantical relationship, sex is like the least of his worries

No one ever pays attention to him so honestly even friendship gets him feeling alive and happy

He is the very definition of low maintenance

Like you could just get him a stick for his birthday and he'd cherish it

Actually just remembering his birthday is a gift for him

Children sometimes call him an old man and he just dies inside

He doesn't look that old?? Does he?? Is that why people think he's boring???

Loves playing shogi like the old nerd he is-

Sometimes he confides to good dog boi

Even he sometimes forgets Haku's there...poor boy doesn't even have a scent...

Haku like to joke that he's cursed with eternal loneliness

Sometimes he deadass thinks it's not even a joke anymore

His favorite food/drink is water.

Ah, bland. Just like him.

He's actually written a few poems for Ayaka, Tohma and Yoimiya but is too embarassed to show them.

He knows how to write them from his time spent with Kazuha( though Kazuya would argue he's never heard of a 'Haku' before-)

The poems all vary but they're all generally just a 'thank you for somewhat being my friends and knowing i exist one out of the many days in a year'

Except Ayaka wich is lowkey a love letter-

#genshin impact ocs #shizuku haku #nuit caeruleum #troupe soleil

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