#i'm not even going to go to war for the book or anything but j sheridan le fanu's vibes werr simply too powerful for 2014 internet

[icarusbetide]

#save elizabeth schuyler hamilton from male biographers 2024

Just got pissed off so bad. I'm in the middle of reading Burr, Hamilton, and Jefferson: A Study in Character, which presents an intriguing argument that Burr deserves to be put back into the Founding Father Pantheon, so to speak. The author doesn't shy away from hitting hard against the idea that Jeff & Ham were morally superior to Burr, and I was on board! Ready to go!

But then. During the discussion of the women in each of their lives, the author decides the best way to further promote Burr's attitude towards women compared to Jefferson and Hamilton is to disparage Martha Jefferson & Elizabeth Hamilton?

On Martha Jefferson:

Martha Wayles Skelton had been a widow, and none of Jefferson's biographers, even the resourceful Fawn Brodie, has been able to tell us much about her—from the solitary letter remaining to us in her hand or the accounts of their contemporaries—beyond the general impression that she was handsome, musical, and frail.

On Elizabeth Hamilton:

Hamilton's Elizabeth was an heiress, the daughter of an upstate squire, Philip Schuyler, with Livingston and van Rensselaer connections. She was plain, straightforward, loyal, and neurasthenic, endured his flagrant and frequent infidelities, and lived to the brink of the Civil War.

I'm sorry, I don't know enough about Martha J. to protest to her characterization, but I think I can say something about Eliza. Plain? Neurasthenic? And once again, annoyed at the lack of citation or evidence for flagrant and frequent infidelities - but putting that aside, even if it were true, I don't like how her staying in her marriage is subtly implied to be some failure or at least less interesting than a woman who didn't "endure" them. There's a lack of consideration of both her own strength & the societal circumstances of that time that would have influenced her actions.

On Theodosia:

Her character emerges from their large and fervent correspondence. She was confident, well connected, well read, beautiful even after a burn scarred her face, witty, worldly, and full of expectations of him.

Okay. The author saw the point and it sailed over his head. "From their large and fervent correspondence" is key here. Like I said earlier, I don't know enough about Martha Jefferson, but I bet that "handsome, musical, frail" is probably not an all-encompassing picture of her. The similarity between her and Eliza? We don't have the letters that they wrote to their husbands. It's unfair to judge Theodosia (don't get me wrong! she was well read and intelligent, that's not what i'm denying) from her correspondence with Burr, but then not acknowledge that the lack of that perspective would impact how we view the other two women.

And to top it all off:

Unlike Jefferson's and Hamilton's, Burr's character was molded by the love of a woman of immense force and intelligence.

Neither Hamilton nor Jefferson married a woman who evidenced such force of character and independence of view.

Jesus Christ. There's plenty to criticize about Jefferson & Hamilton, and I really wanted to see a well-reasoned argument about Burr's character and whatnot but this lacks nuance and is unnecessarily dismissive. It pisses me off that a book that seems determined to break down the idolized version of Hamilton, somehow ends up using his wife to further their angle, just like biased Hamiltonian biographies. In both cases, Eliza is the plain, unintelligent, steadfast wife. For sympathetic authors like Chernow, that's somehow justification for the Reynolds affair. For Roger G. Kennedy, that's used in an argument against her husband. "Let's talk attitude towards women! Hamilton & Jefferson didn't have intellectual wives! Point for Burr!"

I don't know nearly enough about Martha Jefferson to say anything of merit, but really?

To give credit where credit is due, I think Kennedy is trying to make the point here that Theodosia Bartow Burr was a major influence on Burr, as "Burr's character blossomed in the radiance of his wife and mentor". He also goes on to talk about various genuine reasons why Burr's attitude towards women is noteworthy. But I still don't like the way he dismissed the other two women as what? Not smart enough to help their husbands' characters blossom? Maybe there's merit to this book outside of this one section, The Women, but right now I'm not in the mood. Am I being dramatic? Idk.

#aughh i'm pissed so maybe i'm being too dramatic #idk let's post it on the internet for everyone to see. smart decision. #alexander hamilton #thomas jefferson #aaron burr #martha jefferson #elizabeth schuyler #elizabeth hamilton #theodosia bartow burr #historical hamilton #amrev #elizabeth schuyler hamilton

[hjparisian]

always yours-harry j potter x reader

p: harry j potter x fem! reader w: TW !!! toxic relationship, abuse, fluff ending, cussing, not proof read summary: harry and (y/n) come across each other a bit after the war and reconnect. a/n: another request from a lovely follower! so sorry this is so late. i haven't had motivation to write and couldn't figure out what to even write. if any of you guys are in an abusive relationship, please try to reach out to someone! i know it's better said than done but you all deserve the best.

The light breeze felt perfect to (Y/N). It was her day off of work from the Ministry today, so (Y/N) decided to use this day for herself to relax. Merlin knows that her work and her boyfriend has her feeling drained.

(Y/N) had just exited Flourish and Blotts, nose in one of the new books she bought. Her focus was disrupted when she bumped into a large figure, making her drop her book.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry, I should've been looking where I was going," (Y/N) said to the person as she went to pick up her book but someone else grabbed it first.

"Oh it's alright, no worries," a familiar voice said to her.

(Y/N) looked up to the person handing her her book back.

"Wait, H-Harry?"

"(Y/N)?"

The girl was in shock. In front of her was her old friend and former crush, Harry Potter. The last time they've seen each other was at the Battle of Hogwarts. Though she had returned to Hogwarts for her eighth year, Harry did not.

"What are you doing here?" (Y/N) asked the man.

"I was just grabbing some stuff for school."

"School?"

"Yeah," Harry said. "I'm teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts."

"That's amazing Harry!" (Y/N) said to him. "I mean you were the best at the class. Plus you were such an amazing teacher when you taught Dumbledore's Army so it doesn't surprise me."

"Thanks, (Y/N). And what are you doing?"

"Oh, I just came from Flourish and Blotts. It's my day off from the Ministry and I was looking for new books."

"Well," Harry says. "What else do you have planned for today?"

"Honestly, nothing else."

"Do you want to come over to my place?" Harry asked her. "I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to. I was just hoping we could catch up maybe?"

"I would love to," (Y/N) said without a second thought.

Harry and (Y/N) exited the Leaky Cauldron and apparated to Harry's place. It was an apartment not too far from London. Harry unlocked the door and let (Y/N) enter.

It was a rather simple but clean apartment. There were a couple photos on the walls from Harry's years at Hogwarts. One that caught (Y/N)'s eye was a picture of Dumbledore's Army during their fifth year. Harry was in the middle of the photo and (Y/N) somehow had a spot right next to Harry.

"Bring back memories, huh?" Harry said as he stood behind her.

"Yeah. I still remember the first meeting." (Y/N) said. "I wanted to punch Zacharias in the face."

Harry laughed at your comment. "Me too, but he did come around."

Harry guided (Y/N) to the couch in his living room.

"Did you want anything to drink?" Harry asked her. "I got water, butterbeer, firewhiskey."

"Some butterbeer please."

Harry left to the kitchen and returned with two bottles of butter beer, handing one to (Y/N).

"So, how are Hermione and Ron?"

"They're good. They got engaged recently."

"Really?" (Y/N) said in awe. "That's wonderful! I remember talking with Hermione about Ron back in sixth year. Finally got her to admit her feelings for him."

Harry nodded his head, grinning at the memories. "They were both too stubborn to realize it."

(Y/N) nodded before taking a sip of the butterbeer. "What about you Harry? You were with Ginny last I heard."

"I was but not anymore." (Y/N) had a shocked look on her face. "We broke up a while back."

"Really? And Ron hasn't killed you?" (Y/N) asked.

Harry chuckled a bit. "It was actually Ginny who ended it. It was mutual so no bad blood between us."

"That's good then."

A question had been burning on the back of Harry's mind. Thankfully, they were on the topic of it.

"What about you? Are you with anyone?"

(Y/N) set down the bottle she was holding before she answered. "I am actually."

Harry felt his heart drop a bit. "Who is it?"

(Y/N) started messing with the hem of her top, feeling a bit nervous. "Do you remember Cormac McLaggen? He tried out for keeper our sixth year."

For some reason, Harry felt his heart crumble a bit. That bloke Cormac is with (Y/N)? Those two couldn't be anymore different. How could that troll earn her love?

"Harry?"

(Y/N)'s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Are you alright Harry? You were zoning out a bit," (Y/N) pointed out.

"Oh, yeah I'm fine. I remember him, bit of a jerk from what I remember in sixth year." Harry said. "Is Cormac good to you?"

(Y/N) avoided eye contact and kept messing with her shirt. "Oh yeah. I mean we have a few arguments here and there, but he means well. Do you mind bringing another bottle of butterbeer please?"

Harry nodded before getting up to the kitchen again. He didn't necessarily believe (Y/N), but he wasn't going to prod on their relationship.

The two had been enjoying reconnecting. Harry told (Y/N) stories from his first year teaching at Hogwarts, one including how a third year girl sent him a singing card on Valentine's Day. (Y/N) also told Harry about her job at the Ministry and how her coworker spilt coffee on Kingsley Shacklebolt's robes.

(Y/N) looked at the clock on the nearby wall to see that it was a quarter past twelve am. She couldn't believe that she's been talking to Harry for this long. She had to get home.

"Hey Harry, I have to get going," (Y/N) told the man sitting next to her.

Harry looked at the clock to also see how late it was. "Oh, sorry. I didn't realize the time."

"It's quite alright Harry, I had a wonderful time with you anyways."

"Will you be apparating home?" Harry asks her. "Don't want you to head home by yourself if you aren't."

"Yes, I am. You don't need to worry," she said to him. "Besides, I know a few spells thanks to a certain Gryffindor."

Harry smiled a bit, knowing she was referring to him.

"I'll see you later Harry," (Y/N) said while handing him a paper.

The girl disapperated, returning to her home.

Harry unfolded the paper, which revealed some numbers. It was (Y/N)'s phone number. Right under it, she left a small message.

Call me! :)

The next morning, (Y/N) woke up to hearing noises coming from the kitchen. She put on a sweater and walked out to find her boyfriend Cormac cooking.

"Good morning," he said to her.

"Morning," she said.

"Thought I'd make us breakfast before you go to work," said Cormac. "Also where were you last night? You got home pretty late."

"I was catching up with an old friend."

Cormac hummed before asking her the dreaded question. "Who?"

"Oh it's no one special," she nervously said.

Cormac raised an eyebrow at her before asking again. "Who were you with, (Y/N)?"

(Y/N) cleared her throat before speaking. "Harry."

"Potter?"

"Yeah him."

(Y/N) looked at her boyfriend, seeing a look of resentment in his eyes.

"I never really liked that bloke." Cormac said while handing (Y/N) her plate. "Gave the keeper spot to Weasley just because that's his best friend."

(Y/N) just nodded, not wanting to say anything to make Cormac upset.

The two ate until (Y/N) had to go to work. While heading to work, (Y/N) felt her phone buzz. She saw it was a number she didn't recognize, but the back of her mind was hoping it was a certain boy.

(Y/N) took chance and answered it. "Hello?"

"Hello?" A familiar voice said. "Is this (Y/N)?"

(Y/N) laughed a bit before responding. "Yes it is."

"Oh good. It's Harry."

"I know," (Y/N) said, smiling. "I recognized your voice."

"Ah yeah," Harry said. "How are you?"

"Good. Just heading to work."

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize. I can call later."

(Y/N) felt herself smiling more.

"No it's alright! I have time. Besides, it makes the travel to work less lonely."

And so began a new routine of Harry calling her on her way to work. Which then went into them calling each other after work. On nights Cormac was away, Harry and (Y/N) would call each other.

Harry and (Y/N) began seeing each other more in person too. He'd join her on trips to Diagon Alley for more books or to grab a bite after a long day of work.

This change did not go by unnoticed by Cormac, though. He noticed how distracted she became, how she smiled at her phone more, how she left for work earlier and came back later, how she'd go out more.

The boy had enough.

One day, when (Y/N) had returned from work late, Cormac was sitting in her living room, waiting for her arrival.

"Oh! Didn't know you were here Cormac, I thought you wouldn't get home 'til later," the girl said upon noticing her boyfriend on her couch.

"Where were you?" The boy asked her.

Cormac had gotten up and walked towards her, glaring at her.

(Y/N) had begun to feel a bit nervous, knowing Cormac wouldn't like the reason she had returned late.

"I-I was at work," (Y/N) stammered out.

"What about after work?" Cormac questioned her. "Where did you go?"

"Just went to grab a bite."

Cormac began pestering her. "With who? You had to have been with someone if you've taken this long."

(Y/N) felt herself starting to shake. She had never enjoyed when Cormac began to act like this, knowing he was getting angry and a bit emotional.

"I was just out with a friend," she meekly said.

"I wanna know who you were with (Y/N)."

"It was just a friend, Cormac."

"Don't bullshit me. Was it with Potter?"

(Y/N)'s hesitation was all Cormac needed to get his answer.

"It was with Potter, wasn't it."

(Y/N) couldn't lie to him, knowing he figured her out. She nodded.

"Yes, but he's just a friend."

Cormac laughed at her. "Oh really, (Y/N)? Doesn't look like it to me. All those days you came home late, were on the phone for hours. Probably all with fucking Potter. Wouldn't be surprised if you went and shagged him."

--TW description of physical abuse--

"Cormac, I didn't shag him! We were just reconnecting, that's all. Please let's just tal-"

A loud smack echoed through the room.

Cormac had hit her.

"Shut up you bitch!"

Tears welled up in (Y/N)'s face. Cormac took noticed of this and began laughing at her.

"You're crying?" The boy shoved her against the wall. "What if I give you something to actually cry about?"

"Cormac, stop!" (Y/N) sobbed.

He let go of her and let her drop to the ground. (Y/N) had begun sobbing loudly, hyperventilating.

"Get out (Y/N)! Go to your fucking boyfriend Potter for all I care." Cormac screamed at her.

--TW end--

(Y/N) had pushed herself up and got out the door before Cormac slammed it behind her. She decided to use her strength to apparate to the only person that could help her.

She knocked on the door and waited a second before it opened to reveal her former schoolmate.

Harry stared at her before bringing her inside and embracing her. She flinched, but began melting into his embrace after telling herself that it's just Harry.

"I just need to know," Harry began. "Did Cormac do this to you?"

(Y/N) just nodded, not wanting to speak.

Harry felt himself become angry. How could Cormac do this to her? She was an angel, unlike that asshole. He never deserved her. But did Harry himself deserved (Y/N)? He couldn't protect her, keep her safe. This could've been avoided if Harry was with (Y/N).

He couldn't think about that now when (Y/N) was in his arms needing care. He brought the girl to his bathroom, doing his best to try and tend the bruises that littered her skin. Harry drew a bath and brought a change of clothes for (Y/N).

"I'll be right outside, I promise." He told her. "I'll have to finish checking your bruises when your done."

Once (Y/N) decided to get out of the bath half an hour later, Harry made sure he didn't miss any other injuries before bringing her to his bed. He was just going to let her rest until a hand grabs his.

"Don't leave. Please."

Harry would always listen to (Y/N).

The boy stayed with her until sleep finally took over. As much as Harry wanted to stay with her, he had business to take care of.

Thankfully, he remembered where (Y/N) lived after dropping her off multiple times so he apparated in the night to her door. He banged on the door hard until it opened, revealing his new worst enemy.

"What do you want Potter? (Y/N) isn't here."

"Oh I know." Harry told Cormac. "Just came for a chat."

Harry stepped forward in an attempt to enter the house until Cormac stopped him.

"I'm busy right now."

"Well I guess I can try to make this quick," Harry said.

A punch was thrown at the older wizard, catching him off guard. Harry grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pushed them into the apartment, shoving him up against the nearest wall.

"I know what you did to (Y/N), McLaggen. How dare you hurt her!" Harry screamed at him.

"I didn't do such thing." Another punch was thrown.

"Don't you dare lie to me! I know you did it. You hurt her! You never deserved her."

"Oh but you think you do?" Cormac scoffed at Harry, while trying to push him off.

"I would've treated her way better than you ever have."

"You want a slut like her? You're pathetic Potter."

Those words had enraged Harry more than ever. The two continued fighting, Harry having the upper hand. One more punch landed on Cormac before he fell to the floor.

"You better stay away from (Y/N). If I hear that you stepped one foot near her I won't hesitate to punch you again," Harry spat at him before making his leave back to his home.

Harry headed for his room, wanting to make sure that the girl he loves was still there. Fortunately, she was, but she was awake.

"Where did you go Harry? I was getting worried."

"I just went to take care of something," he said, trying to reassure her.

"What do you need to take care of at this time?" (Y/N) said while walking toward him.

A small gasp slipped her month before her hand made contact with his cheek. Harry would be lying if he said it didn't feel nice.

"You're hurt Harry!" (Y/N) exclaimed before dragging him to his bathroom.

"(Y/N) love, I'm fine." He kind of wasn't. Harry looked at his reflection in the mirror and saw the marks Cormac apparently left him. He was too focused on getting vengeance for (Y/N) that he ignored it.

(Y/N) began cleaning his face. "Harry, you have dried blood on your face. I don't think that's considered fine. What were you doing?"

"If I tell you, you have to promise you won't be upset," Harry said to her.

"What?" (Y/N) paused, confused.

"Just promise me."

"Fine. I promise I won't get upset."

"Alright, well," Harry began. The adrenaline was gone and he began feeling nervous. "I went to visit Cormac at your guys apartment."

"You went to see Cormac?" (Y/N) squeaked. "Why would you do that Harry?"

"I couldn't stand what he did to you (Y/N). He hurt you. You didn't deserve what he did. I had to teach him a lesson."

"So you went to beat each other up?"

"Well, him more so than me," Harry joked.

"Why? Why would you beat him up for me?"

"Because (Y/N). I love you."

(Y/N)'s eyes widen in shock. "W-what?"

"I love you. And I think I always have. Seeing you brought back those feelings I've had back when we were at Hogwarts. I would do anything to protect you (Y/N)."

"Oh Harry," tears welled up in (Y/N)'s eyes.

Harry noticed and got a little bit worried. "It's alright if you don't feel the same way. I know you just had to deal with Cormac so-"

Arms wrapped around him and lips met his. Harry froze for a second before melting into it, gently placing his hands on her waist.

(Y/N) was the first to break the kiss, to respond to Harry's declaration of love to her.

"I love you too, Harry."

(Y/N) finished cleaning up Harry before heading back to his bed. His arms wrapped around her, keeping her warm and safe.

"I promise to protect you no matter what," Harry said to her. "I would do anything for you."

"And I will do the same for you, because you're mine."

"And I will always be yours."

#harry potter #harry potter x reader #harry james potter #harry james potter x reader #hjp x reader #hjp #hp fanfic #hp imagine #harry potter x fem!reader #harry

[phefics]

hii!

congrats on 1k! you deserve it!

🍪; nsfw alphabet, are you able to do Katniss Everdeen?

𝐨𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐚’𝐬 𝟏𝐤 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 // tysm!!! here you goooo!!!

a: aftercare (what they’re like after sex) katniss is sappy after sex, she really has to love someone to want to sleep with them in my opinion, so her secret sappy side always shows in those moments.

b: body part (their favourite body part of theirs/their partner’s) on herself, katniss isn't really concerned with her appearance. she likes her hair, but on her partner, she can't pick. she probably loves their eyes, their arms, their ass...

c: cum (anything to do with cum basically) katniss hates the sticky feeling of cum (from either anatomy) and always likes to get cleaned up immediately after sex.

d: dirty secret (a dirty secret of theirs) after everything she's been through in canon, i feel like katniss would be ashamed that she is interested in submission - she feels like she should be stronger than that, that the idea should terrify her.

e: experience (how experienced are they?) not at all, at least, if we're talking canon - peeta and gale are the only people she has ever kissed, and her and peeta don't have sex til the entire war is over, lol. so, i think she is really inexperienced with not just sex, but intimacy and romance in general.

f: favorite position (this goes without saying) katniss likes to be physically dominant even if she is still behaving submissively - she likes being on top, physically not-restrained or caged in.

g: goofy (are they more serious/humorous?) katniss tries to be serious during sex, because she thinks that's what you're supposed to do. but, she isn't very good at it, because when she feels embarrassed/awkward/unsure, her reaction is usually to laugh or crack jokes.

h: hair (how well groomed are they are, etc.) katniss canonically appreciates having her body hair because the capitol always forced her to be totally waxed and hairless, so i can't imagine her choosing to shave any part of herself of her own free will.

i: intimacy (how they are during the moment) katniss is very shy about intimacy - she struggles to hold eye contact, often can't stop nervously smiling or laughing, isn't sure what to say or do...but her vulnerability is the biggest show of intimacy, the way she fully gives in to her partner is her proof of connection and love.

j: jack off (masturbation headcanons) katniss doesn't masturbate like practically ever i feel like she is very neutral on sex like she could live without it she always gave me like demisexual/sex-positive ace vibes in the books.

k: kink (one or more of their kinks) katniss likes being taken care of, praised, and occasionally ordered around.

l: location (favorite places to do it) she doesn't do public, she is a bed or couch kinda girl.

m: motivation (what turns them on, gets them going?) this is sooo cheesy but like. love is her motivation. she wants to have sex with the person that she loves bc it is intimate and beautiful and that's genuinely the point to her, the pleasure is just an added bonus.

n: no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) she is anti-being tied up or restrained in any way, being degraded, anything public or involving other people.

o: oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) loves to receive head so much, omg.

p: pace (are they fast and rough/slow and sensual?) prefers a slow and sensual vibe, but can get that passionate rush sometimes.

q: quickie (their opinions on quickies) she's not a big fan, she likes to take her time.

r: risk (are they game to experiment?) i'd say katniss is incredibly vanilla and isn't too interested/comfortable experimenting.

s: stamina (how many rounds can they go for/long do they last?) orgasms aren't very easy for her, so by the time she cums once, she feels sort of spent, but if someone was willing to be patient and let her cum multiple times, regardless of the time it took...she's a survivalist, i'm sure she can last.

t: toy (do they own toys/use them? on a partner/themselves?) not really interested. what's the point in something touching her clit if it isn't the finger/tongue of her partner?

u: unfair (how much they like to tease) katniss is not very teasing or even talkative in bed, she just feels out of her comfort zone, i can't imagine her even attempting any form of dirty talk without it feeling perfomative/cringe to her. outside the bedroom, she can have a very flirtatious way of teasing, but in it, she sort of clams up...

v: volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make) she can be super loud, but she doesn't mean to be, it just sort of happens. as her orgasm builds, she slowly grows louder and louder, whining and moaning all while trying to stifle it in her hand/pillow.

w: wild card (a random headcanon) katniss has a lot of scars from the games (i know that canonically, the capitol really fixed her up after the 74th, but after the 75th, she never went back to have them do any more weird surgeries on her, so i assume she has plenty of marks from the quarter quell) and isn't insecure about them, she knows what they symbolize and doesn't want them gone, but she often likes to keep some clothes on to conceal them, just because looking at them often makes her feel weird.

x: x-ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants) a cute, thick bush of black hair conceals most of her pussy at first glance, but when you're between her legs, her lips are a lovely dark color (brown!katniss headcanon rise) and quite average-sized, just a typical cute pussy.

y: yearning (how high is their sex drive?) not very existent, honestly, but she is usually down for sex, she just doesn't have a drive to initiate it and she doesn't need/crave it.

z: zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) relatively quickly, all that vulnerability takes a lot out of her lol.

#💌 𝐈𝐍𝐁𝐎𝐗. #ophelia's 1k celebration #katniss everdeen x y/n #katniss everdeen x reader #katniss everdeen #katniss evderdeen x you #katniss everdeen smut

[peaky-shelby]

NEW ROMANTICS | MBAPPÉ [14]

» summary: in which an arrogant and talented football player (the best of his time as some say) and a focused and harsh critic of a journalist are gonna have to find a way to co-exist.

» chapter 14: The Great War

» Writer's note: all I'm gonna say is have fun. Enjoy it while it lasts 💞

» Taglist: @moonchildohh @formulahoe @princetongirlll818 @mavieesttriste16 @kiwisa @godessstela @hummusxx @kodzuvk @pink-manz @corbyns-smile @ippid @jayruiewo265738 @blueanfield @mrs-bellingham @sorceresski @sooblovebot  @okayymochi @army7g @j-rbps @heli991113  @markhyucksmells @chaotic-taco-collector-blog @i0veless @photmath @http-isabela @rainytelevisionfilmwagon

@formula101x @neymarloverxxx @cepolar @freespirit-51 @marialikescherries @superswaggycooch @lunasmindinwriting @shadysandwichghoul @contrastedfandom @alexxcorona113 @951am @jinsoulorbitzen12 @books-loverss @l0verl4ne @kypostsblog @bluberrycheezk @hottieluvr @calcaneous @444jodie @dudde-44 @neysgf @wallflowerjournal @p4rkyonce @toclic @kyliannnkkk  @mad-die45 @mentalbaddie @karotland @et-in-arcadia-ego77 @kymb-10

Taylor took the night flight. She spent the morning saying goodbye to the ones she was closest to and promising Lily that she would be back soon. She meant it, she didn’t expect staying in Paris too long, her career there was over. She just wanted to put a better ending to it, perhaps find something new. There was a guy in a black suit holding up a sign with her name on it. She approached him, dragging her suitcase with her.

“I think that’s me” she smiled. “I didn’t know I’d have a car waiting for me.”

“Monsieur Mbappe sent me. Did you have a nice flight?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Follow me mademoiselle.”

“Merci.”

He led her out on the parking lot, towards a large black van. Little extra she thought but she kinda liked it too. He helped her put her bags on the back and then opened the door—

“AH!” She screamed as confetti sprayed on her face. She held on her chest and looked to her right, Neymar was sitting there, laughing. She laughed as well, the fear turning into nostalgia and happiness of seeing him again. But she could hear another laugh too and when she looked to her left, she saw Kylian, sitting by the window, smiling. “You are monsters.” She mumbled and launched herself at Neymar, giving him the tightest hug, she could master. He rubbed her back, holding her close to him. The two never even got to say a proper goodbye. He kissed her cheek and pulled back a little while the driver started the car.

“It’s nice to see you again Princessa!”

She smiled ��Missed ya.”

“’m sorry about your Pa.”

She held back, of all the people she had heard saying the same thing, she knew that Neymar genuinely meant it. Suddenly she had no idea how to answer him. Thank God for Kylian that decided to interrupt, waving his hand in between them.

“Alright, I’m part of the surprise too, you know?”

She looked at him, how he sat across from them in this luxurious van, that was defiantly too much just to drive her home. Neymar gave her a little push, encouraging her to go sit next to him instead. She reached for Kylian’s hand and got up, he pulled her to his side, immediately igniting electricity between them. They looked in each other’s eyes, Kylian’s hand moved to her hair, picking out some of he confetti that had stuck on her hair, taking his time.

“Good flight?”

“Yeah. But I’m exhausted, please tell me you haven’t planned anything.”

“Nothing.” She narrowed her eyes. She had never met anyone with a better poker face than Kylian. “Galtier wants to see you tomorrow though.”

She groaned “god I don’t wanna have that conversation.”

“I’m sure it’ll be ok.” He smiled.

She wanted to kiss him. Taste him. She was struggling to stay appropriate.

“Man, just kiss already. You can cut the tension with a knife.”

She laughed, embarrassed at herself and leaned on Kylian’s shoulder, hiding herself. It was so weird to her that Neymar knew the whole truth, no matter how close to him she was. Kylian kissed her head, then his lips traced down to her cheek. Urging her to tilt her head back a little, so he’d be able to kiss her. Such an intimate moment, it was odd, doing it publicly for the first time.

“I’m glad you are here.” He whispered.

“Me too” she smiled.

They reached Kylian’s house a while after, Kylian and Neymar helped her carry her bags upstairs and they talked about all the games she had missed ever since she left, and how bad things had gotten with the management. None of the players were really happy about the situation. Taylor expected to meet darkness as Kylian opened the door, instead she was faced by screaming, balloons and drinks and familiar faces that were there to surprise her. She gasped, instantly reaching for Kylian’s hand. She laughed as she saw Leo, clapping for her, next to his Wife Antonella. Ramos and Kimpembe were also there, both of them holding a glass of beer in their hands.

“¡bienvenido de nuevo!” smiled Leo, approaching her slowly and giving her a comforting embrace.

“This wasn’t necessary.” She mumbled on his shoulder.

Ramos came and patted her shoulder, pulling her out of Leo’s arms into his and holding her tightly, almost suffocating her. “Missed you chipmunk!” She laughed at the name, who would have guessed that she would have missed hearing it. Then she heard a loud horn in her ear and she jumped away, turning around and seeing Kimpembe, laughing his ass off along with Neymar. She would have chased him if it wasn’t for his injury, she settled for chasing Neymar around the room instead, until she reached Kimpembe again and threw herself at him, embracing him. Each of the boys gave different kind of hugs, his was warm and comforting, like you were being hugged by your childhood friend.

“Stop scaring me.” She complained

“Can’t make any promises.”

As he drew away he noticed a little black shadow moving in the distance “Luna!” she gasped and went to pick her up. The cat tried to get away but Taylor picked her up, spinning her around and smooshing her face on her fur.

The next person that welcomed her was Marquinhos.

“How you doin’ cap?”

“It’s been shit around here!”

She smiled “I can see that.”

He hesitated “we need to talk, tomorrow when you get to campus.”

“I already have Galtier to worry about, must I have you too?”

“Yes.” He smiled.

Last person she saw was Verratti, who was hesitant to get near her at first. She caught him glancing a few times, decided that she could make the first move instead. She approached, holding her wine in her hand. “I don’t bite, you know?”

He smiled, thinking about it “maybe you should.” He said, while looking down. She had never seen him as shy before. “I’m sorry for what happened.”

She felt something in her heart lightening, a sense of relief after hearing his apology “It wasn’t your fault.”

“I’m the one that got her in the conferences, I didn’t think— The things she wrote about us nit trusting you, I should have never said them, but it was before I got to know you. I didn’t believe any of it by the time she published—"

“Do you know what Kylian did to stop her from writing the other article?” she asked, he looked up. She could read the worry behind his eyes, like he wasn’t meant to talk about this at all. Taylor got closer. “Was it just money?” he didn’t respond, he’d look at her like a puppy. “Come on, you owe me that much, just tell me. What did he do?”

He chewed his bottom lip, glanced at Kylian to make sure he wasn’t listening and got closer “I don’t know the whole story. He asked me to meet her, so I set it up and then they were alone. Ann never contacted me again, next thing I know she’s transferred to France National team.”

She calculated everything he was telling her. If Kylian had pulled strings to get her on the National team, it means he owed people favors and what’s worse it meant that sooner or later he’d bump onto her again. “So, you think he paid her?”

“I think it’s very likely.”

Taylor shot Kylian a look from across the room, he waved at her, smiling. Ignorant to the truths she had just learned.

Neymar and Leo were the last ones to leave. That way no one knew that Taylor never left Kylian’s apartment that night, except the ones that already knew the whole truth. Taylor was seating on the couch, leaning on its arm, while waving at the men. Kylian shut the door, slowly turning to her direction and smiling at her. “you ok?”

“Yeah” she smiled, nodding. He though she looked very adorable in that moment and walked over to her, kneeling in front of the outside arm of the couch. “it was nice to see all of them.” She reached for hoodie of sweatshirt, pulling him closer. “it’s nice to feel missed too.”

“You’ll see the rest of them tomorrow. I’ll drive you to campus, I have a meeting with the medics for my leg.”

“Evaluation?”

“Yeah, for Bayern game.”

She grinned, leaning her head to the side. “You know I’m never gonna be assistant coach on PSG again, right? Even if Galtier offers.”

He didn’t react to her question, like he had come to terms with that revelation before she even had to say it. “That doesn’t mean you can’t use your time there in order to build a fresh career.”

She cupped his face “I’m gonna open the website again. Under my name this time, I’ll focus on champions league.”

“My greatest rival is making a return?” He joked and she laughed, leaning her head on his.

“Yeah, and he is gonna be extra brutal this time around.” He gave her a peck, letting her know it was ok. If anything, he missed the motivation he’d get from all her articles.

“You want help setting it up?”

“No,” she shook her head “I’ll figure it out. Although I’ll build it way more professionally than it was before PSG. Maybe get my own Magazine?” she smiled as she said that last part.

“Look at you getting all excited.”

She shrugged “Pa was right. I’ve been terrified of wanting, dreaming big, taking risks without calculating every single move.”

He pushed her hair away from her ear. “And what do you want?”

She smirked, leaning closer “Long term, or short term?”

“Let’s go with long term first.” He played along. She placed her arms around his neck, looking away and pretending she was in deep thought.

“Long term I want my name to be remembered in this sport. Not sure how yet, but I want to write my way through until I reach exactly where I’m supposed to be. Maybe coaching again, in another team. Maybe in Barcelona—” she laughed as she said it, and he pecked the laugh away. Deepening the kiss, so he’d let her know that it wasn’t funny at all. It was possible, she could do anything she set her mind to, even softening, the insecure arrogant golden boy.

“What about short term?” he mumbled to her lips, giving it a light bite.

“You” she said in a quick breath, and he picked her up the next second, taking her to his bedroom. Their lips wouldn’t separate as he laid her on the bed, taking off her and his clothes like it was a reflex. There was something different about the way their bodies connected with one another after the night in her house, it wasn’t just sex, it wasn’t just pleasure, it was a need, it was love from both even if they’d never say it out loud. She feels pleasurably crushed under the weight of his power over her and her touch, her smell it had a narcotic sense for him, killing him and reviving him repeatedly and she is here. In his bedroom. In his space. What he’d do to keep her forever, he thought as his hands slid down her entire body, by now his palm was familiar with it, like her lines were scarred on his skin and every time he touched her, they fit together like puzzle pieces. She let out a moan, a breath of lust in his ear while he removed her underwear, uncovering her deepest desire; to feel him. He didn’t let her wait too long, he was inside her and she hoped she’d hear him saying it again. His way of saying I love you. She wanted to hear it but he didn’t say it and she never asked.

When they were done, she’d leave kisses on his chest and his arms, she couldn’t stop herself, it was like she could never get enough. Kylian would run his hands through her hair, that had gotten noticeably longer from the first time he met her.

“I think I’m developing an addiction to your body.” She confessed and his chest vibrated under her with laughter.

“That makes two of us.”

She placed her chin on the space between his breasts and raised her eyes, looked at him through her eyelashes, biting her lips.

“You know what they say about addictions.”

“We’ll be fine.” He reassured her.

“Do you ever think about how we got here?” she asked, snaking herself over him, her thumbs stroking the sides of his face. She realized she had never told him about how cute his cheekbones were, especially when he smiled. She leaned down and kissed his nose. “Such a pain in my ass” she mumbled.

“Still am!” he said proudly, slapping her right ass cheek and getting a laugh out of her as she dropped herself on him and he engulfed her in his arms. She kissed his neck, an open mouth kiss.

“Marcus told me about Ann.” She said on his skin, he closed his eyes. “he told me she was transferred on National, head writer. You wouldn’t have anything to do with it—” she raised her head and balanced it on her hand, her elbow deepening against the mattress. He tilted his head on the side to look at her. “Would you?”

“Does it matter?”

“Of course, it does Kylian. You’ll have to be around her eventually, work with her, you think she is not gonna pull something like this again?” He turned his head to the ceiling; she instantly cupped it with her hand and forced him to look at her. “I don’t like you owing people like her favors because of me—and god knows how much money you gave her!”

“Why do you care so much about the money?”

“Because it feels like my integrity has been sold!” she explained. Lowering her head, embarrassed at herself. He hated seeing her like this, unable to help “I wanna give you half of it, at least.” He laughed at that, looking away. She slapped his shoulder “I’m being fucking serious Kylian! Stop laughing—” but he didn’t stop, although he tried. He looked at her.

“I didn’t give her any money—”

“I know you are lying!”

“Even if I did, you wouldn’t have to pay a dime—”

“Oh for fuck’s shake.” She got off the bed and put on his long shirt to cover herself, he tried to pull on the shirt to drag her down again but she slapped his hand off and walked in the bathroom.

“Babe!” he called and looked at the bathroom door, expecting her to show up again. She didn’t. he heard the water running instead. “Amor!” the word slipped his lips before he could think about it, like it was exactly what he was always meant to be calling her.

She heard it despite the running water. She was already knelt on the cold marbles on the floor when he said it, holding on the faucet lever, while the water was filling up the tub that they had used as a hiding place way too many times.

“I see it with Ney and his boy and the public relationships he has had in the past. It’s scary. To think that you will always bring discomfort to the ones you love. Sometimes it stops you from loving them enough.”

Could he ever lover her enough? Could she ever love him, she wondered what it’d be like. She heard him coming in, lowering his body behind her and then kissing the back of her neck and shoulder. She turned the water off and turned her body so she’d face him. He smiled at her, their forehead meeting halfway.

“I’m sorry” she whispered, looking anywhere but his eyes, his lifted her chin up with his finger, encouraging her to lock eyes with me and when she did, he leaned and kissed her. Not that her apology was necessary but he accepted it anyway. Then he pulled her into him, let their bodies tangle on the floor of the bathroom.

PSG TRAINING CAMPUS – GALTIER’S OFFICE

Her hands were sweating and she wished Kylian and Neymar were by her side. She’d mumble motivational speeches under her breath to keep herself encouraged and knocked on the door. Galtier called for her to come in shortly after and she stepped in the office, pretending like she had her shit together. Galtier got up when he saw her and walked around his desk to go to her. He took her hand in his and gave it a light shake.

“Ms. Wilock. My condolences for your father.”

“Thank you.” She smiled.

“Come, sit.” He pointed at the chair and walked back to his desk, to take his rightful place. “How you think we are doing without you so far?” he asked jokingly and Taylor sat down, smiling.

“Struggling?”

He was unprepared for her brutal honesty. He had forgotten she rarely filtered her thoughts before speaking them out loud.

“What about you without us?”

She snorted “It was odd adjusting back to a normal life away from the boys, however if this is about me coming back, it’s not happening.” Silence settled between them. He clicked his lips, chewing on the inside of his cheek. He smiled.

“I wasn’t going to offer you a place back on the coaching team. I was hoping you were open to other options”

“Like what?”

Galtier reached on the cupboard under his desk and took out a file, leaving it on top of the desk. He pushed it towards her. Taylor opened it and saw documents of young players. One of them was Kylian’s brother,

“We want you to work in the Academy. You can help us build the foundations. That way we can still keep you around and you’ll have a job that you can balance with writing and help while you’re here in Paris.”

She looked up at him “Did Kylian put you up to this?”

“no one can put me up to anything Ms. Wilock. You should know that by now.” He stood up “you got till tomorrow to give us an answer—”

“Sir, I don’t know how long I’m staying in Paris.”

“Perhaps this will tempt you to stay longer than you have planned.” She got up, unable to find the right words to argue. “I understand our first attempt of a partnership created problems” he raised his hand “you needn’t explain. But we would be foolish not to use you while we still can. So…” he walked around the desk to her, led her to his door while he spoke “Think about it, get back to me tomorrow.” Before she could even form a sentence she was out the door, standing like a lost kid in the mall where her parents had left her. She wasn’t even sure who was close to her when she exited his office, she just knew that he had shut the door and left her on the other side alone. She gulped, trying to imagine herself a teacher, well, it wasn’t much different, was it? Suddenly she felt a pair of hands on her shoulders and looked up. Kylian stood before her, a smile on his face. He knew, she thought. He was probably the one that planned it.

“So?” he asked hopefully. He must have realized that she wasn’t enjoying this as much as he was because his smile melted away and turned to worry just a few minutes later “You said no?”

“I didn’t say anything.” She responded quickly.

“Why not? It will pay good, it won’t take a lot of your time and you can leave anytime you want until you find something better.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you had this planned?” He bit his tongue. Let out a deep breath and made a step back. “I wasn’t prepared for this, returning to PSG is not something I wanted, I told you I wanted out—” he scoffed.

“I was just trying to help but I see now your decision is already made! Obviously you don’t care as much!” He turned to leave but she pulled his hand, keeping him in his place.

“That’s what you think? That I don’t wanna stay in PSG because I don’t care about you?” she hissed, moving closer so only he would hear. He didn’t respond and so she took that as an initiative to walk away.

PARKING LOT – LATER

Kylian headed to his car, Taylor’s words still echoing in his head. He didn’t expect to find her leaning on his vehicle and waiting for him but there she was, Neymar by her side, the two of them laughing about something like they used to. He approached slowly, fearing that she might disappear if he got too close to fast. But she smiled when she saw him, probably not to give any hints of their previous fight to Neymar.

“Left the girl waiting, man.” Joked Neymar.

Kylian looked at taylor “didn’t know she was waiting.”

Taylor forced a smile and nodded her head “I’m cold, let’s go.” She gave Neymar a quick kiss on the cheek and when Kylian wasn’t expecting she took his car keys and unlocked the car, getting on the driver’s seat before he could stop her. She got comfortable, smiling. Kylian gave her a confused look and got closer to the window.

“What are you doing?”

“I wanna drive!”

“Since when?”

“I have to start getting used to Paris streets.”

It took him a while for him to process what she said. He looked at Neymar, who in return patted his shoulder and told him to get in. He did just that. Sitting next to Taylor who started the engine like this had been her car all along. She was occupied trying to get used to the control panel and starting the car meanwhile he was staring at her. Suddenly he asked;

“Did you take the job?”

She smiled, maneuvered the car out of the parking spot while looking in the review mirror “I wasn’t going to. Then my boss called, he said he knew I was in Paris and wanted me to write an interview on Messi.”

“Doesn’t sound that bad.” He mumbled.

“That’s what I said” They were out on the highway now, Kylian had just started realizing that he wasn’t on the wheel, it was her and he started getting anxious because he had never really seen her drive before. He put on his seatbelt when he noticed her holding the steering wheel a little to tight and stepping on the gas while they waited for the red light to turn green. “Then he said; how about a day in the life of Antonella and Lionel Messi, your girlfriends are gonna love that.” When the light turned green, Taylor started driving fast, Kylian held on the door. His breathing getting quicker. “to which I said, how about you go fuck yourself—”

“Tay! Eyes on to road—”

“That’s where my eyes are! Paris streets, with you. And to be honest why don’t you go fuck yourself as well Kylian!”

“What did I do?” he complained but he knew she didn’t really meant it!

“You’re not an asshole anymore and it’s pissing me off because now all of a sudden I wanna stay with you—”

“Hold up—”

“No! I’m not holding up, I’m driving!”

“Babe—”

“Let me finish for fuck’s shake, you rambling, stupid idiot!”

“Are these supposed to be words of affirmation?” the volumes had gone up both of them yelling for no apparent reason.

“Yes! Cause that’s how it is with us, isn’t it?”

“It’s red!”

“I SEE IT!”

“The house was the other way!”

“Shut up!” she yelled.

“mon dieu, elle va nous tuer tous les deux” he mumbled and looked out of his window.

“I’m not killing anybody and yes I understand French now so cut it out- and listen for ones—you’re so convinced I wanted to leave PSG because I didn’t care or feel enough about you—” she scoffed “did it ever cross your arrogant little mind that maybe it cause I care about you enough—”

“What kind of logic is that—”

“Excuse me am I done speaking—”

“You made a pause!”

“I did not make a pause! My lips are still moving—you cut me off—and for you information it’s the kind of logic that I can find other teams like psg, psg is replaceable—you are not!” she stopped the car abruptly in front of a red light, Kylian moving a little forward. Silence. Just the car sounds filling the emptiness. He looked at her in awe, he wanted to kiss her right there and then. She was avoiding his eyes at any cost, staring at the red light as its color reflected on her face. Red as the wine she tasted on his lips, red as lipstick he loved seeing her in.

“What way’s the house?”

“Second to the right.” He said, still staring at her.

“Good.” She mumbled, still avoiding him.

They stayed like that until they reached the house, she parked the car next to all his other cars and turned the engine off, now there was not a single sound to focus on so she could ignore his burning stares. She got out of the car, shutting the door so loud that it made him jump. He got out a moment later and stood next to her, waiting for the elevator. She got in first when the doors opened and leaned against the mirror, he mimicked her and the two waited again. Always waiting, she thought. She was tired of it. Finally, they reached his floor and Kylian stepped forward she he’d unlock the door, she followed behind him, leaving all her stuff on the couch and heading in the kitchen immediately after to serve herself a nice glass of red wine. He hesitated before going in too, staying behind her.

“Cherie—”

“Don’t, please.” She whispered. Leaving her glass down and turning to face him “don’t say anything.” She moved closer “I’m so tired of us talking and analyzing everything only so we can get it wrong every fucking time—it shouldn’t be this hard!” She put her hands behind his neck, stroking it gently and pulling him in.

“It’s not!” he said, holding her face in his palm.

She looked at his lips, “kiss me then.”

“Don’t have to ask me twice” he smiled and leaned in, connecting his lips with hers. Then in the middle of the kiss she smiled, gripping on his shirt.

“I took the job.” She said and he pulled away to look at her face, unable to hide his smile and enjoyment. He picked her up, spinning her around on his kitchen while he understood why the city under him, that he had watched endless nights by himself, was called the city of love.

1 WEEK IN / KYLIAN'S HOUSE

Kylian dropped himself in the couch, holding a big bowl of chips on his hands while Taylor had her attention split between the Television, watching the first leg of Chelsea Vs. Dortmund and her computer where she’d write her notes.

“They said I could give it a try for a while.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.” She responded, her eyes following the players on the screen. Waiting for halftime.

“You say that as a journalist or a girlfriend?” he asked. First time he had every used that word around her. She looked at him, her eyes remaining calm.

“Both. It’s a risk.” Kylian slid closer to her, reaching his arm behind her neck and leaning in. “I’m working.” She said and looked back at the screen. Just a few minutes until halftime. He kissed her shoulder.

“I hate you watching your ex when you’re with me.”

A grin ghosted over her face but she tried to hold it down. She continued typing, struggling to remain focused with Kylian’s breathing washing over her, his tongue sometimes messing with her ear, her skin… she started typing faster, with more pressure on the keyboard, biting her bottom lip as hard as she could. He finger creeped up around her, stroking her arm. The referee whistled for half time and taylor closed the cap on her computer and leaving it on the coffee table, turning to him, taking the bowl out of his hands and pushing him back so she’d be over him. He slapped her butt cheek, enjoying the view. “told you I’m working.”

“It’s lunch break.” He smiled and she lowered her head to kiss him, a heated kiss, proof that she didn’t care about mason’s thighs as much as she cared for his. She let her body fall in his and he took her weight, enjoying how it feels to have her on him, to be pressured by her. Her hand reached down to his thigh and he hissed as it made contact with his sore spot.

“I still think it’s a bad idea.”

He smiled “I’m gonna be ok.”

“You can’t play a whole game.”

“I wasn’t. I’ll just be on standby in case the need me.” He enjoyed the view of her eyes, his thumb going in circles on her cheekbone. “how’s it going with the kids?”

“You got lots of talent in the academy. Missing a little bit of discipline.” She smiled.

“Anyone ready for the big game?”

“Absolutely not. If it was up to me not even Ektike would have joined.” She rubbed her nose with his “there is one that reminds me of you.”

He grinned “you don’t say.”

“He’s got talent. And character. Lots of it.”

He knew exactly who she meant.

“Your brother’s gonna be a star one day.”

“That’s what I keep telling him. You two getting along?”

“Yeah. Unlike you he listens. I appreciate that about him.”

He laughed but she cut his laugh short by giving him a deep kiss. She kissed his cheek too and then hid her face on the crook of his neck, embracing his body completely. He kissed her hair.

“I saw you two together this morning. I wanted to join.”

“Its best that you didn’t.” she mumbled on his neck.

“I know.” He let his fingers wander up and down her spine “but that’s not the point. I wanted to say, I really liked the view.”

“Of me and your brother?”

” Yeah. And he really likes you, you know?”

“Does he know about us?”

“No. but I think I’d like it if he knew.”

“Not yet.”

“Ok.”

Taylor had to watch the rest of the game on a streaming platform the next day because eventually she fell asleep in his arms. It was one of the few times that they slept together without making love to each other first. Like they were building new routines together that weren’t involving only their bodies but their hearts too. And after she watched the game, she got ready to see her boys playing against Bayern. She was screaming from her seat, annoyed and disappointed at the same time. Anything she had managed to build with them was falling apart. There was hope when she saw Kylian joining, the last 15 minutes and she was scared he’d hurt himself bur also proud—

“WHAT IN THE FUCKING HELL? THAY WASN’T EVEN OFFSIDE!” She yelled. It was so loud that Antonella sitting next to her, jumped in her seat and pulled her hand to force her to sit down again. Taylor crumbled in her chair and puffed her cheeks, annoyed at the turn of events.

When the game was over Antonella helped her get on locker rooms, but even from outside she could hear everyone shouting at each other. She could recognize Kylian’s voice, speaking in French and cursing and even Messi was taking shots at people. Before the two women could get in the door slammed open and Neymar walked out, moving passed them without even saying anything. She could see Kylian in the corner arguing with Galtier and she decided to stay out of it until that conversation ended very heatedly also and Kylian walked out of the room even more made that Neymar was. She watched him and followed him until the reached the rooftop. She got a weird sense of déjà vu as she got up there, remembering the first night they ever looked in each other’s eyes with care.

“KY!” She yelled and waited for him to turn to her but he didn’t. He leaned on the marble wall and watched at the view beneath him, slapping his hand. She walked next to him, reaching for his arm. “What happened?”

“Il n'y a pas de connexion, il n'y a pas de gestion. Galtier ne fait rien pour aider et je suis fatigué. On m'avait promis quelque chose de plus et c'est vraiment horrible. Et personne ne fait rien pour y remédier !”

“Kylian slow down, I have no idea what you are saying—”

“I’m saying I want out!”

She made a step back as he said, her eyes softening and taking him in. She moved forward confidently and hugged him. She wanted to give him any comfort she could. He accepted the embrace and shrunk himself on her arms. “I’m tired” he confessed.

“I know.” She rubbed his back “let’s go home.”

2 WEEKS IN / KYLIAN'S HOUSE

He could feel the light from the computer warming his eyes despite the hour of the night and having his back on her. He turned around slightly, peaking at her and whatever she was writing. “You gonna sleep anytime soon?”

“Sure” she said but her eyes didn’t mover her eyes from the screen. Kylian checked on his phone on the night stand, it was already 3am and she had to be up in 4 hours for her class. He turned around completely facing her. He lifted his head and balanced it on his head, watching her.

“How about now?”

“Sleep, Kylian!” she told him

“I will when you do.”

“Have to finish this.”

“Why?”

“I just started rebuilding my platform. I can’t miss deadlines”

“You are the one that sets the deadlines.”

“I need to be consistent and you need to sleep, you have a game tomorrow.”

“You have a class before the game”

“God created coffee for a reason!”

“You’re not supposed to be drinking a lot of caffeine!”

Her fingers stopped on the keyboard. She narrowed her eyes, looked at him. “How do you know that?”

He looked away from her eyes “I spoke with one of the medics that has your history… I’m just trying to make sure history won’t repeat it’s self.” His gaze returned to her and she couldn’t really make out her expression, if she was touched by his gesture or if he had overstepped. Then she closed her eyes, like she was thinking. “You never speak about it. I never know what’s going on, how am I supposed to know if you need anything—”

She shut off her computer and left it on the side of the bed, leaning and kissing the fear off his lips, so he’d taste her appreciation instead.

“I never talk about it, cause its my life, its my routine. I never had to share it with anyone before, I’m not used to it.” She explained “but you can ask me anything, anytime.”

He pecked her lips. “Good to know you wanna share it. Are you gonna sleep now?”

She kissed his nose “no, but I’ll go on the living room so you can rest.” She went to move away but he pulled her hand, holding her close to him, he tangled his legs with hers and held her arms, moving as closer to her as possible “sleep. Please.” She sighed in his arms and closed her eyes; his warmth was tempting. His ocean hypnotizing. She smiled. She scratched his arm, her nails trailing over his veins. Funny, how much safety you could feel in another person’s arms.

“This could work” she said “my website. I’ve been getting follows on tiktok and more reads and it’s better now that I’m not hiding behind a nickname.”

He kissed the spot under hear ear “this could work too.” She tilted her head at him and he kissed her cheek.

“yeah I think it could.” She smiled.

Next morning Kylian left for his game, with a weird sense of happiness in his chest. The team had been through a hard couple of weeks and fights in the locker rooms but everyone seemed to be confident for win on this game against LOSC. The game started with a bang, and she couldn’t hold her excitement when she saw Kylian scoring the first goal. She wished she was down on the pitch like when she was assistant coach so she could run to them. Instead, she was up, on the vip section, supposedly invited by Messi, in reality she was there for Kylian. The happiness melted away when she saw Neymar tumbling on the ground, holding on his ankle. She jumped from her seat and watched while they carried him away “shit” she cursed under her breath, picked up all her stuff and put on her jacket.

“where you going?” Asked Antonella.

“Tell him I’ll be with Ney if he asks.”

She stayed with him on the medical room they had in the stadium, she was there to hear the bad news and when the doctors left, she held his hand while he cried. They moved him to his house before the game was even over, taylor drove with them.

“In what capacity?” asked the man in charge.

“she’s my personal coach.” Neymar said quickly. A lie technically, a truth for him.

She stayed with him, the medicine they had given him started to kick in slowly and she sat next to his bed, reading him messages he had gotten from family members.

“I’m tired.” He said and she could remember Kylian saying the same thing. Almost like this team was sucking the life out of them all. She used one of the wet towels the doctors left to wipe the sweat on his temple. She never thought, she’d have a brother to care for as much as she cared for Neymar.

“get some sleep. The boys will be here soon. I’ll let you know, if there are any updates on your exams, I’ll let you know.”

“Did we win?”

“Yeah. Leo made the win certain. It was a great goal.”

He forced a smile on his face and closed his eyes, laid his head on the side and eventually drifted off in the hypnosis of the pills.

It was about an hour later that Kylian and Leo came. Neymar’s house keeper let them in, and they walked upstairs to find both of them asleep on their respectable place. Kylian shook his head when he saw the position Taylor was sleeping in on the couch, half certain she’d get horrible neck pain. He walked over to her, shaking her gently. Taylor shot her head up, looking around until her eyes met Kylian’s.

“I’ve been calling you.”

“Sorry.” She murmured, stretching her body “out of battery”. She noticed Leo standing next to her and got up, rubbing her eyes. “He’s gonna need you.”

“I know.”

“What did the doctors say?” Asked Kylian.

“He might need surgery. He can let it heal by itself but there’s a risk something like that will happen again.”

He ran a hand down his face. “He’s missing the entire season?”

Leo shook his head, his hands placed on his hips and biting his tongue.

“Like I said; he’s going to need you.”

Kylian approached her, his hand creeping in on the small of her back. He kissed, the back of her head.

“You two go, I’ll stay with him.”

“Doctor’s are supposed to call by the end of the day, the phone’s there.” She pointed at Neymar’s nightstand and then at the bowl on the floor. “that’s for his cold sweat. Rub his head a couple of times, just be make sure he’s ok and if he wakes up the house keeper made soup for him and um—” she searched in her pocket and took out a small note “that’s in case he needs a nurse but you can call me too if he needs something—.”

“Tay—” Kylian squeezed her shoulders “he’ll be ok.”

She looked back at him and nodded, even though she didn’t really believe it.

They drove in his house later, taylor got out of her clothes as quickly as she could, huffing and puffing.

“Want me to get the water running?”

She glanced at him “Please.”

When he left the room, taylor opened her computer, she forgot she had left the website rentals open. Trying to take her mind off Neymar she started checking the Parisian apartments, knowing she’d need a bigger one for when Beth and Lily came to visit. She didn’t sense Kylian approaching her, standing behind her and seeing her research. “what are you looking for?”

She glanced between him and her screen “what does it look like?”

“Look like you are looking for an apartment, which makes no sense because you’re already staying here.”

She lowered her eyebrows, turned on her seat so she’d be looking on his side of the couch. “when did we agree that?”

“I thought the last two weeks made it obvious.”

She smiled “that’s sweet but I can’t stay here forever.”

“Why not?”

She laughed, unable to process that he was being serious “we’ve barely been together for two weeks and now we are moving in?” she sat on her knees to be as closer to his height as possible “are you out of your mind?”

“Is it more logical for you to be paying 1.500 euros a month for an apartment you’ll barely be in?”

She pushed his shoulder “what is that supposed to mean?”

He brushed her hair with his fingers “you know exactly what it’s supposed to mean!”

She blushed, lowering her head to hide her smile. He grinned at her reaction and reached for her hands “Beth and lily can come visit anytime they want.” She was always surprised at how well he read her mind. Stayed looking at him, expecting him to start laughing or something but he didn‘t. “come on, we’ll discuss it later, lets have a bath.” He pulled her hand and she got up, walking around the couch and letting him lead them to their bathroom.

“You never told me bout your big dream.” She said, the candles in the bathroom setting the mood for deep conversations. The two of them seating on each end of the bathtub across from each other, their legs touching under the water.

“hm?”

“Mine was Barcelona. What is yours? Cause if it’s just psg we have a problem.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “PSG could be more, you know?”

“It could. It doesn’t want to.”

He didn’t respond, leaned his head back and looked at the ceiling.

She rubbed his knee with her toe, comforting him. “I’ve heard something about Real Madrid, does it still stand?”

“It’s where I wanted to end up. But dreams change right?”

“Is that an excuse to stay at Paris?”

“I don’t know maybe.” He admitted.

“I think it’s easy, staying. You are comfortable. You’re the golden child while you are in Paris, the main star, anything else feels like a jungle to you.”

“Feels like I am building something with PSG, breaking records, making history. Like it could be something big for me and for them—”

She smiled and moved under the water closer to him. He opened his arms for her, welcoming her in his embrace, as she sat on his lap and stayed close to him. “Feels to me like you are just trying to build castles in the sand to me.” Her thumb stroked his cheekbone. “PSG promised you something and they are not delivering. It’s falling apart and it’s taking you down with it. No just you, all of the players.” She ran her fingers through his hair, massaging it gently and he closed his eyes, enjoying it “you’ll never show your true potential there, no one can because there’s not foundations to help players like you or Leo or Ney.” She sighed “I saw it while I was on the coaching staff and when I met Nssr.”

“You never told me how that went.”

“It was horrible.” She blurted out. Remembering the dinner and how shaken up she was when she left. “Because it proved to me how little respect there is for the sport.” She paused, biting her lip “I was wrong about you before I joined.” He widened his eyes and she smiled at his reaction “Don’t get all cocky, I wasn’t wrong about everything I still think you are an arrogant idiot—” he laughed “but they are worst. Point is… they got 3 of the best players in the world and they don’t know how to use them or discipline them” she scratched his chest gently while his hands made their way to her back, ghosting over her skin, sometimes going more down than they should. “Because they don’t want to discipline them. They just want to use them for promo… they don’t care about the game.”

“Is this you telling me you’re leaving?”

She gazed in his eyes, chewing her cheek from the inside “being in the academy I see how things work from the bottom and it’s just as corrupt as it on the top. So, yes, first chance I get and I’m out of there. And you should do the same.” She slipped closer “otherwise you are wasting a career for a glass house.”

3 WEEKS IN / KYLIAN'S HOUSE

“Their plane lands during the game.”

“Who organized that?” Asked Kylian, taking out the orange box from the fridge. Taylor was making eggs for both while he was setting up the table. A whole new routine that they had developed in the last week.

“They didn’t know smartass.” She said, putting the eggs on their plates and placing them on the table. They sat across from each other, taylor was surprised when she saw her pills next to her glass. She gave Kylian a quick look but he was oblivious to how much that meant to her. She doubted if he had even realized he did it, nowadays he would just take care of her automatically.

“I can send a car to pick them up.”

“No, lily is not gonna like that, she wants me to be there.” She looked at him “I’m sorry I know it’s supposed to be your big day tomorrow. Wanted to be there for the one hundred and first”

He chuckled “Ah it ok, you can go with the car then and I’ll meet you here after the game.” He kissed her cheek as he passed by her “You’ll be there for the one hundred and second.”

She smiled “How am I supposed to get in though if you’re still in the game?”

“I’ll make you a spare key today.” He was looking at his eggs while he spoke, like he didn’t just throw a bomb at her. Like the answer was simple as that.

“A key?” she asked.

He glanced up at her.

“for me?”

He took a big bite and chewed on it, ignoring the way she looked at him “I’ll tell Martha to make the spare room for the girls so it’s ready for tomorrow.”

“Can we go back to the Key please?”

He finally looked up, but he was confused “why you so worried about a key? You’re gonna need one anyway when I’m in Munich.” He filled his mouth with a last piece of bread and picked up his dish, putting quickly on the dishwasher. “Are you ready—” he stopped “why aren’t you eating your food—come on, we need to leave!” She looked at her dish and realized it was still there, the whole of it.

“Trying to swallow other things…” she mumbled.

He gave her a quick kiss before running into the bedroom. She looked at her pills and drank them down with her juice, wishing it was vodka instead.

He made her the spare key just like he said in the afternoon, she looked at it the whole night, while he was sleeping right next to her. Her computer laid on the edge of the bed, open on a page about PSG. Behind it was the unfinished article she was writing about the whole of PSG, starting from the management to the things she had seen during the academy. And over it the notifications she would get on social media would pop up, nonstop, her reads and reactions always going up.

She closed the computer and left it on the night stand, leaving the key on top of it and erased any distance between them by tying herself around him and listening to his sleepy breaths.

Little did she know, he was awake and he was at peace, finally having her as close. Little did she know, he knew exactly why she was freaking out about the key.

PARC DE PRINCE – THE NEXT NIGHT

“In the mood to break some records?” Asked Leo, coming up behind him while he was tying his shoelaces. Kylian glanced back at him smiling. He stood up, shaking off his nerves, he blew his cheeks.

“Always in the mood for that.”

Leo winked at him and shook his hand. “Good luck then.”

“Do you ever miss this thrill in Barcelona?” he asked suddenly and his teammate thought about it.

He nodded “Of course I do.”

“It was easier there, wasn’t it?”

Leo laughed, lowering his head “yeah. Much easier. But that’s because it was home. Not because of the records.”

“So, it’s not the records you miss? Or being number one?”

“That part had it’s pleasure, but you can break records anywhere Kylian.” He shrugged, scratching the back of his head “it’s who you break them with that makes it special.”

His words echoed in his mind when he scored on the net, fireworks lighted up over him and everyone cheered for the golden boy. Leo was one of the first people to run to him, everyone jumped on him, congratulating him by pressing him on the ground. He looked for her on the crowd only to remember that she was never there.

When the game was over, he celebrated with his family, hugged his breath and tried to forget about the person missing. He took pictures with the award and the entire team, even Neymar was there with his messy ankle and Kimpembe, injured as well. He was too busy looking at camera and it was too late when he realized which little girl was running up to him but he saw Lily before he saw Taylor—

“Oh my—” he gasped as the little girl jumped on him and hugged him. Everyone around was confused about the intruder, security even tried to get her back until Kylian signaled them to stop. He handed his award to Ethan and picked up Lily, laughing. “What on earth are you doing here?” he asked, but his eyes were already searching for Taylor. She was in the distance with Beth next to her, walking up to him. Neymar had already joined Taylor, introducing himself to Beth. Lily poked his nose, to get back his attention.

“Are you the best now?” she asked, smiling.

“What do you think?”

She shook her head up and down quickly, laughing. He looked back at Taylor.

“Thought you’d go straight to the house.”

She shrugged her shoulders “turns out we made it right on time.”

“She wanted to surprise you.” Blurted out Lily and taylor rolled her eyes. He gazed at Beth, holding Lily with one hand so he could shake her hand with the other.

“it’s nice to see you again. This is my brother Ethan.”

Beth shook his hand, smiling “Nice to meet you.”

Taylor walked over to Ethan, placing her arm around his neck “he’s a star in the making. Ethan, this is my family. Beth and Lily.”

Ethan nodded “I’ve heard a lot about you.” He looked between Kylian and Taylor “from both of them.”

Taylor gazed at Kylian, surprised at his brother’s revelation. But before she could ask about it, Kylian’s parents showed up. His father, she had barely spoken to him during her time as coach. She pulled away from Ethan quickly and cleared her throat, intimidated by his presence.

“Miss Wilock, happy to see you around again.”

She didn’t expect that. She smiled “Thank you sir.”

“Who is this little girl?”

“She’s little Wilock.” Said Taylor.

“First time in Paris?” he asked and lily nodded while biting her finger, the way that kids too.

“Mine too,” said Beth. “We are both excited.”

“Well then, you can come with us. We were going for a celebration dinner, Kylian, you don’t mind, do you?”

“Are we going to the Eiffel tower?”

“No but it’ll be just as high.”

“Mum, can we go?”

Beth looked at taylor, taylor looked at Kylian, Kylian let his mouth fall open, secretly hoping taylor wouldn’t deny the offer.

“If it’s not a problem we’d love to.” Answered Beth.

Lily started jumping on Kylian’s arms and he let her down, letting her walk ahead with her mother. Ethan and Kylian’s father moved ahead too. Taylor glanced at Kylian, while they walked next to each other, making sure to keep some distance.”

“Does he know about us?”

“Nope.”

She drew a thin line with her lips “that’s gonna go well.”

“Just keep a straight face.” He said and gave her a smile of encouragement. She stopped when she felt her phone buzzing. She took it out of her back pocket and looked at the number, it was British. She tried to recall if she knew it from anywhere then she heard Kylian calling “are you coming?”

Her finger ghosted over the decline and the acceptation button, she hit decline and pushed the phone back in her pocket and ran behind Kylian.

HELLO BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!! Next chapter is the last 😭 can you believe it? Then we have an epilogue and then we officially say goodbye to each other. What things to we have left to discover? The phone call and dinner with the two families? Kylian as captain on the french team? Two people finally admitting their feelings? I don't wanna say goodbye 😭😭😭 who has been here since ch1 or when did y'all join us? Let's go down memory lane if y'all agree. Please please leave your thoughts and comments as always, means the world to me.🥺 I love you forever and ever xx

I'll be posting Blurbs of Kylian and Tay all week to add to the three weeks they've been together!! So send in requests!

#newromanticsfic #mbappe x reader #football writing #mbappe imagines #imagines #mbappe x oc #kylian mbappe one shot #kylian mbappe imagines

[leslutdepointedulac]

13 Book Tag Game

Tagged by: @bubblegum-blackwood Thank you! 💞

1) The last book I read:

The Vampire Lestat by Anne Rice. I'm currently doing my annual re-read of TVC from start to finish but it's taking me longer than last time for some reason.

2) A book I recommend:

Loveless by Alice Oseman. Ik it's not the only book out there to explore asexuality and being aromantic as well, but it's the first one I personally read and I think it's a really good example of it.

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

A Dowry of Blood by S. T. Gibson. Predictably, it's more vampires lmao. I wasn't initially sure about how I would feel reading something in second person, but it actually works really well imo. I really love how it's told by one of Dracula's brides; I can really get into the characters, and understand her situation.

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more):

So many of my books I've read several times, but one in particular is Wolf Brother by Michelle Paver. Actually just the whole Chronicles of Ancient Darkness series. I grew up on them, and I've read the whole series several times over. I like that it's set six thousand years ago, because I don't think I've personally ever read anything in the fantasy kind of genre in that time period. This series has a special place in my heart.

5) A book on my TBR:

I have too many. I think one that I do really want to get to though, is Les Misérables by Victor Hugo. I've wanted to read it for a few years now, and I've had the book since last year but I haven't gotten round to it yet.

6) A book I’ve put down:

Normal People by Sally Rooney. I got it as a birthday present from someone in my family a few years ago, and when I saw what it was about it didn't sound like my kind of thing but I figured I'd give it a chance. Yeah, it wasn't doing it for me lmao. I was bored tbh and the lack of speech marks around dialogue was confusing me. Overall it just wasn't my type of thing anyway and I only got a few pages in before I put it down.

7) A book on my wish list:

I've been really wanting to get a copy of the Grimm's complete fairy tales. I know some of how a few of the fairy tales originally go, but I've been wanting to read them all properly for years now.

8) A favorite book from childhood:

War Horse by Michael Morpurgo. I read this book religiously as a child. I would read it and then as soon as I was done, I'd read it again. I'm honestly not sure why, but there was clearly something about it that resonated with me, even as a kid. I actually still have the same copy I owned as a child, I don't think I'll ever get rid of it. It's very special to me.

9) A book you would give to a friend:

The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien. Idk what you want me to say lmao. It's LOTR, everyone should read it. I know it's a trilogy, not just one book, so I am cheating a bit here, but it's too good not to mention. It's fantasy at its finest, what can I say.

(I was gunna say Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice, but that's obvious coming from me and I don't want this whole thing to be overrun with TVC lmao.)

10) A book of poetry or lyrics that you own:

I won't lie, I don't actually have any of either, I've never really been interested in things like that. It's just not my thing.

11) A nonfiction book you own:

Buried by Professor Alice Roberts. I haven't actually read it yet, but it goes into looking at burials from centuries ago and how people would have lived in different periods of time, based on burial sites.

12) What are you currently reading:

The Queen of the Damned by Anne Rice. Again, this is because I'm doing my annual re-read of TVC, but it's taking me an unusually long time to get through it this time round.

13) What are you planning on reading next?:

Apart from moving onto The Tale of the Body Thief by Anne Rice, I think the next thing I want to get to is Carmilla by Sheridan Le Fanu. I've never read it before (Ik don't shoot me), not because I didn't want to, but just because I never got round to it. But I got it recently so I'll be reading it soon!

Tagging: @desertfangs @teethingpains @cinnamonclove but no pressure of course ❤

#tag game #my vampire chronicles

[ladyhindsight]

I admit I was ignorant on the matter but now that I know more about Israel and its army, I can't help but see the similarities between them and the Shadowhunters/Nephilim. I always wondered how could CC hail a society of child soldiers that forces assimilation or violence on anyone that opposes them as heroes.

And her obsession with European features and how all characters of color are half white and change their last names (super common practice in Israel). They either assimilate to the European/Nephilim culture, or they're demonic beings that want to kill the heroes.

Sarah J Maas too, and her obsessions with imperialism = good! colonization = good!, if I grow bored of ruling I'll go on a colonization spree to bring culture to savage people! (Idk if you've read her books)

I'm jewish but I grew up in a mixed family (of ethnicities and religions) and my jewish mom is an atheist who taught me Zionism is a racist, fascist ideology so I always avoided Israel like the plague. I regret staying ignorant for so long and not educating myself sooner. Now that I have, I see works by Jewish authors in a different light. And it makes me nauseous 🤢

During the early years of the series publication Clare’s biases were especially well out there, pretty implicit in her writing. There was the mess with the “I think” post, her favoritism of specific appearances (that to this day apply!), the favoritism of the Nephilim in general—the whole character of Jace Herondale himself! It’s not at all unfounded idea that what you said could be true. The same themes certainly are present in her works.

(I haven’t read anything from Sarah J Maas, but I’ll take your word for it.)

The whole series pretty much—including the child soldiers—romanticizes war. The true and heavy losses are not focused on (Max, anyone?), are brushed aside if they do not serve the anguish of a main character, death in battle is trivial if it is either the nameless/minor characters or the bad guys dying. But it could be a more general problem with young adult literature as well, not excluding that.

It’s rather unfortunate for Clare’s actual and true fans that she remains silent. I haven’t seen or found any statement from her. One TikTok commenter said that they needed her “to be one of the good ones.” It’s sad that her supporters who pour their heart, love, time, and money (!!!) into her and her works have to teeter on the edge of uncertainty because she is saying nothing. Clever really, being silent as if trying to play both sides in order not to alienate or lose either side of her fan base (and I don’t even know what other people) as if people will forever be satisfied with not making a stand of any kind.

Clare is a New York Times best-selling author, multiple times over, she has a platform. She has the platform to amplify the voices in Gaza, to condemn the action of IDF, even as little as to show support for the innocent civilians suffering in inhumane conditions, but it seems there’s nothing. I obviously can’t say what she could be doing that is not public, but if you’re doing charity or giving aid to the people—a big if since what do I know what she really thinks or does—it’s still strange that you wouldn’t share that at all.

Don’t be too hard on yourself and shame yourself for not knowing sooner or not knowing better earlier. There’s ton of things around us—media most of all—that might affect the amount of information people even receive about this, or any issues around the world. A lot of people, including myself, learn more and more over time, and the point is learning and becoming more aware of the absolute tragedy and horror that is happening in Palestine and has been happening for decades already.

#Anti CC #Anti Cassandra Clare #Reply

[clearcloudlesssky]

BONJOUR (i really need to stop opening all my asks with this line there is not a singular french bone in my body)

you seem like a cool and intellectual person (everything i aspire to be fr)! and you speak mandarin like me (事实说，我的华文很糟糕...我的母语怎么说到那么差哎呀呀)! and you're friends with all my friends (i'm like a human detector device i see new person on my friends' blogs i stalk their page and follow them ehehehhj)

like we have to be besties at this point/j

my question: gush over your favourite book?? like GUSH IDC IF I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT I WILL LISTEN TO EVERY DETAIL

NEE HOW 没关系---其实我的中文也很糟糕 (ಥ﹏ಥ))

thank you so much for the ask!! i'm VERY new to interacting on tumblr so this is like really really really cool to me lmao

also PLEASE i am not a intellectual or a cool person do not aspire to be like me you don't know what i did last year under the blood red full moon of october 27th at 3:27pm

ok the gushing part I'LL TRY TO STICK TO BOOKS/MEDIA NO PROMISES THOUGH

generally speaking my favorite books are the ones i'm reading/have just read, so right now they'd prob be perfume as you who have stalked my blog may be able to tell and probably coriolanus which i am rereading rn @bassguitarinablackt-shirt i told you about coriolanus last year sobs

i was forced to read perfume by a friend of mine -- she's a sucker for these totally reprehensible, incorrigible characters, and she'd been ranting abt perfume for aaaages. and it sounded kinda perverse but at the same time really interesting so i read it and it was actually really good...

ok and just in case this monstrosity below convinces anyone to read perfume, there's a few warnings in hand

perfume is a decently dark book, there's like 26 total murders, and the ending is...interesting. the author has a talent for creating unique, immersive descriptions but like maybe 20-30% of the time these descriptions lean towards eroticism so if you don't like that pls be warned?

if you've ever seen food wars think that but with really really good smells

ok now to start

i think that perfume is really cool because it's one of those where there's exactly one, very very clear theme - others may crop up but this feels super central, and that theme would probably be human greed, and the tendencies of humans to destroy that which they most love. it dives into total obsession and the idea of wanting to possess something so much, so badly that you destroy it in that greed, and the poster boy for this idea is the main character of the book, jean-baptiste grenouille, who murders those with scents he desperately wants to possess

the entire book is very unique in that it focuses itself around one sense - smell, and this creates a lot of really cool descriptions and a pov that you've probably never thought of before.

the mc himself is also a really interesting character - he's totally dominated by this sense, he's like a dog but ten times more sensitive to smell. he doesn't care about other human beings at all, he doesn't care about physical pain, or visually beautiful things, he only cares about the smells around him. he has a urge to possess all of them, to learn how to create them and collect them. i've spoken about his inhumanness and other stuff before so i won't go into that (this is long sobs i haven't even spoken abt coriolanus)

ok what's below is a weirder interpretation..

one of the ideas that popped out to me when i was reading is that the author uses individual scents as an analogy for a soul. everything in grenonuille's world has a scent. it is what defines them. it is what makes them them in his worldview, and for him to lack a scent means that he lacks a soul, and this only further emphasizes his inhumanity. he's terrified when he realizes this, and his lack of a smell is what actually pushes other humans away from him

by attempting to create a sort of "ultimate perfume" for himself, he seeks to give himself a soul, a sense of being, but he's left full of hatred and fear once he realizes that people don't care for him, the soulless, scentless grenouille, but the scent he created. they aren't attracted to him as a person, they're attracted to his ultimate perfume, and their sheer olfactory gullibility disgusts him. i can elaborate but that means spoiling the rest of the book and i don't wanna do that TwT

this leaves no room for coriolanus but let it be said this is a goofy ass book (i love it but still) generally shakespeare is a bit dry? for me and i don't take a lot of enjoyment out of it but i had fun reading coriolanus

the main idea of coriolanus is a general, a military hero who enters the cutthroat world of roman politics, and is absolutely destroyed. his bluntness, refusal to compromise, and above all pride makes him psychologically ill-suited to become a politician, generally i feel that a lot of traits that made him an excellent general turn on him once he becomes a consul (think president).

he has an absolutely wack relationship with his mom, who i feel is like the roman equivalent of that one parent who's basically living through their child. from the start to the end, she's the one pulling his strings. she's the one who pushed him to military success, she's the primary one who pushed him to become consul, and it's her who's able to convince him to spare Rome when he finally leaves to seek revenge. and when she returns to rome? it's her who gets the glory, it's her who's hailed as rome's savior, while coriolanus himself is brutally murdered at the end of the book.

to me, she comes across as someone who's hyper-ambitious, and perhaps as a woman in ancient rome, she wasn't able to move anywhere with those ambitions, so she pushed them onto her son instead. she speaks of blood and swords and death, and is prideful that her son was sent into battle at a young age.

honestly their relationship is one of my favorites from this play, and the only scene that i enjoy more than the death scene is uh coriolanus's arch nemesis speaking about him..

"Twelve several times, and I have nightly since Dreamt of encounters 'twixt thyself and me; We have been down together in my sleep, Unbuckling helms, fisting each other's throat; And waked half dead with nothing"

And there's also this

"Than thee, all noble Marcius. Let me twine Mine arms about that body, where against My grained ash an hundred times hath broke, And scarr'd the moon with splinters: here I clip The anvil of my sword, and do contest As hotly and as nobly with thy love As ever in ambitious strength I did Contend against thy valour. Know thou first, I loved the maid I married; never man Sigh'd truer breath; but that I see thee here, Thou noble thing! more dances my rapt heart"

yep additional note coriolanus's full name is gaius marcius coriolanus

they're a little bit silly aufidius totally isn't the one assassinating him at the end nope

SORRTY THIS WAS REALLY LONG

#coriolanus #perfume #answering asks #perfume: the story of a murderer #i rambled too long geesh #grenouille the tick

[mycupofrum]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Thanks so much for the tag gracelesslady23!! ♡

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

28 (14 in English and 14 in Finnish)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

106,723

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I mainly write for the Harry Potter fandom, though I did write one Star Wars fic (dipped my toes into Obikin). I’ll post it in English some day.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

These are all Prongsfoot.

Bathe with me (4k, Explicit)

What are best friends for (2k, Explicit)

A lesson in love (6k, Mature)

First day of work (730, Mature/Explicit)

One of these days (388, Gen)

5. Do you respond to comments?

Absolutely!! If someone has taken the time to leave a comment I will happily respond.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don’t know if I have any angsty endings in my fics but probably By my side is one of the angstiest stories I’ve posted on AO3. Just your average Midsummer fic with some necromancy and raising someone from the dead.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

They all have happy endings, but probably A lesson in love, which has a feel good ending, or Specialised in you where they get to a happy ending through some initial angst and drama. Feels even happier then, doesn’t it?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

None so far. Fingers crossed it stays that way. Nobody should have to deal with it.

9. Do you write smut?

Yesss. Whatever they end up doing, there’s usually an emotional connection there because that’s how I prefer to write intimate scenes. But ngl, half the time I'm pushing myself to get the words out because I still think "oh no, is this really awkward" but then I remember the post I saw here on Tumblr where an actual published novel had the cringiest smut I've ever seen, and I'm fine again. We've all got this!

10. Do you write crossovers?

No.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I translate my own fics.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Years ago I wrote a few HP crack fics together with others.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

James/Sirius. (To quote Snape: Always. 💀) Almost from the start. Sometime before the fifth book came out I was completely into Prongsfoot. Not counting years.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

I don’t post anything until I finish it first, so I have no hanging WIPs on AO3. But I have plenty in my WIP folder. I like to remain hopeful that I’ll end up writing them eventually. Not going to stress about anything.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I can come up with some nice plot ideas, funny and tense scenarios and good banter between J and S.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

My ability to finish fics and focus on one fic at a time has felt difficult lately. I don’t know why I seem to run out of steam when I have the last third left. Also descriptions are hard for me, partly because while I love how they set the mood and make the text more vivid, I’m always eager to just write what the characters are doing and saying to each other. Descriptions in English are especially hard because it’s my second language and I’m always guessing if what I write has the right nuance and tone etc.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

Sure, why not if it fits the story. I added a very minimal amount of French flavour to Fashion and hoped that no one would get too pissed off about it (mostly because of my poor attempt to write French English accent, not the actual French in there).

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter. The first fic I ever posted as a teenager was a humour fic where Harry and his friends time travelled into the past and for some reason all the guys had to take part in a beauty competition (Mr Hogsmeade ’76) hahaha. This fic does not exist anywhere online anymore.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Specialised in you is dear to me because it was not supposed to become at all what it is but James Potter took over the plot and I was a mere scribe at that point. Also I have a 20k Prongsfoot fic in Finnish that I haven’t translated into English yet but it’s the apple of my eye. I did a lot of research and put so much time and effort and all my Prongsfoot feels into it. It’s loosely inspired by the film Velvet Goldmine i.e. glam rock, glitter and S pining for J.

Tagging @fiendishfyre @siriuslystarbucks @solitaire-sol @adiha @prongsfootloves

No pressure. <3

#tag game #self recs

[thousand-winters]

For the ask game: Lilith toh 4, 9 and 12

Ooooh, thank you so much for the ask!!! 💕 I hope you're having a nice day!!!

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

Oooooh, oh, that one's hard, mostly because I tend to get attached to like 2-3 pieces of media and then my mind gets consumed by those and I don't think about anything else ever, so something that could be well suited for her? I'm not really sure.

If we're talking just to have fun for the sake of it, I'm pushing her into Fire Emblem or Star Wars because I think she would be really fun adapted to one universe or the other. Ask me about my TOH Star Wars AU.

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

I think so, yeah. There are a lot of traits Lilith has that I have too, I see myself in her a lot, so I think either that would be a very peaceful coexistence or we would rip each other apart /j

No, okay, I do think it would be alright, honestly, if a little too quiet at times. I like to think we would make good friends though, so it's either peaceful silence with each of us doing our thing or enthusiastic rambles. Honestly, I would love to be friends with Lilith, I want to hear about the Deadwardian balusters.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Man, I feel like I'm generally terrible with headcanons but I do have many Lilith thoughts, so...

Since it seems like Eda and her carved their palismen after the curse incident, I think Lilith would have already started distancing herself a little due to the horrible amounts of guilt she would be feeling. And between Gwen dedicating all of her time and attention to Eda and Dell being generally absent before the OTHER incident with the Owl Beast or probably temporarily out of commission (which Lilith would consider as her fault as well since the curse was her fault in the first place).

All of this to say, I think she would be trying to focus on bonding with Mike Socks rather than talking to her family because... yeah.

Palismen tend to be very loving and I think Lilith would be completely charmed by hers even if he looks kinda goofy when he's out of the regal staff form (like witch, like palisman), so she would be showing him all the things she would have liked showing her family before. "Hey, Mike, look, I got a perfect grade in this test!" when Gwen ignored her, "hey, do you want to hear a joke?" when she feels too guilty to go to Eda and tell her, "this movie looks fun, let's watch it together" because Dell is in bed and recovering from losing an eye.

Later on she would be relieved to no end that she was allowed to keep him.

From this ask game!

#lilith clawthorne #mike socks #the owl house #toh #lilith is so special to me you don't understand. and that makes sense bc i never talk about her BUT #i think she hits that spot for me in which she reminds me of myself to a point it can get uncomfortable to think about her lmao #lilith clawthorne ritsu kageyama we're really in it now

[xslytherclawx-writes]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

stolen from @thebreakfastgenie - if you want to do this, consider yourself tagged!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

508, not including anon works

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

1,779,933

3. What fandoms do you write for?

uh... lots? i think i've written in upwards of 70 fandoms. mostly currently Harry Potter and Star Trek (Voyager & Lower Decks). Occasionally I'll toss in a Miraculous fic. My top 6 by works are: Harry Potter (187), Yuri!!! on ICE (62), Chronicles of Narnia (39), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn (18), The Umbrella Academy (TV) (12) - tied with Original Work (12)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Total Agony of Being in Love (Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston)  Two of A Kind (Howl Series - Diana Wynne Jones) La Magique étude du Bonheur (Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling)  i bloom just for you (Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston) enough contrition to spare (Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! but i do have over 100 comments in my inbox so perhaps i am not like... the best at it haha

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think maybe either: (for you) i would ruin myself (Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling) or: Death Date (Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling)  OR: like my parents never did (Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling)  but like i write a LOT of angst lol

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I've written so much fluff so I'm just going to plug relationship advice (Miraculous Ladybug) (written for @nemaliwrites actually haha) because I think it has enough stakes for the ending to count as truly happy instead of just. fluff all the way through. (though it is pretty fluffy)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

yeah. i wrote aged up characters once and got called disgusting like ok thanks you're the one who took the time to click on it and leave a comment. but ok. i also was told very rudely that sirius was ooc in a fic for not being fanon sirius. again: ok. read the books.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, pretty often, actually. I've written F/M, F/F, M/M, F/M/M. I'll be posting some F/F/M soonish too.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not often? I think the craziest one I've written was Star Wars PT / Buffy the Vampire Slayer: friends in highly low places 

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not just that, but I had a fic ripped off for a professionally published novel. not that i'm still bitter, or anything.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Введение в дипломатию by lyomna, translation of an introduction to diplomacy (Narnia) From English to Русский

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Sure have! Mostly in Yuri!!! on ICE

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

don't do this to me. I genuinely don't know. all-time?? Jill/Eustace and Polly/Digory have stood the test of time better than anything for any of my other fandoms tbh. But like favorite???? I can't pick. Some evergreen ships: Katniss/Peeta (THG), Remus/Lily (HP), Drarry (HP), Hyacinth/Gareth (Bridgerton).

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i mean the entirety of the cat café universe is probably not being touched again. uh. beyond that? not one for being let down (Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling) - I should probably just put an epilogue on it and call it done a matter of diplomacy (Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis) - I really do like this one, but my brain is just not giving me many more ideas for it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

dialogue and character voice!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

detailed description

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I did it before bc I was a pretentious ass and continue it in Ravenclaw AU for consistency's sake, but I probably wouldn't do it again, unless it was a language I spoke fluently (so French or German) and didn't want my POV character to understand, and even then... eh.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter, officially, but I wrote out some Halloweentown fanfiction in 3rd grade and submitted it for an assignment, so does that count?

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

making me choose a favorite child. jk it's probably Lost Causes (Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling) or, in a completely different vein, the proof is in the pudding (literally. no one tested the pudding.) (Succession (TV 2018)) 

#my fics

[isfjmel-phleg]

April 2023 Books

Moongarden by Michelle A. Barry (reread)

The character arcs and themes are so drastically different from those in TSG that I'm inclined to call this one a retelling only in the basic premise of there being a secret garden. That's not necessarily a criticism; just go into this one managing expectations accordingly. The second time around I found this one a bit of a slog for me. There were a couple of interesting supporting characters, but I didn't really connect with the protagonist or even the plot in general. The worldbuilding is interesting, but it wasn't enough to make me want to seek the sequel which is coming out later this year.

The Runaway Robot by Lester del Rey

I forget which one of you recommended this one, but it was delightful. The robot narrator was endearing, and for a book its length and intended audience, it had quite a thought-provoking examination of the nature of humanity and a society that treats sentient beings as less than human because they're robots.

Disenchanted and Transformed by Megan Morrison

Morrison's worldbuilding is striking, and her retellings of fairy tales inventive (to the point that the Cinderella retelling is practically unrecognizable thematically). I didn't find the more political plotlines very interesting, but the characters were more complex than those of a typical middle-grade book.

When the War Came Home by Lesley Parr

I enjoyed Parr's first book, but this one was less interesting to me personally.

Lost and Found by Sarah Prineas

Sequels to The Magic Thief. I liked them well enough but am not especially invested.

The Beatrice Letters by Lemony Snicket

This one isn't very long and is more of a contribution to the Lore than furthering of the plot, but the love letter ("I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday...") is the highlight, both darkly humorous and rather poignant.

The Painted Garden by Noel Streatfeild (reread)

Maybe this isn't Streatfeild's best children's book from a technical perspective, and it is definitely flawed, but the way the narrative interacts with TSG is quite thoughtful. You can tell that Streatfeild loved and understood the book. The story is also fascinating culturally and historically: a glimpse of late 1940s California from the perspective of British children. Streatfeild is fascinated by every detail of daily life, and it makes the world of the narrative quite rich. (This is downplayed quite a lot in abridged versions, such as the American edition titled Movie Shoes, but the abridgment does have the advantage of eliminating a lot of the material that didn't age well.)

The Whispering Skull by Jonathan Stroud

I liked this one, but it somehow wasn't as much of a page-turner for me as the first book. I am looking forward to reading the next one. Stroud's style is a thing of beauty.

The Crystal Snowstorm by Meriol Trevor (reread)

The premise of this one is fascinating, but I wish Trevor had developed her young protagonist more! I got the sense that who she really wanted to write about were the adults.

This was an interlibrary loan from the Library of Congress (these books are so hard to find that that's what I had to resort to), and I meant to finish the series but am opting not to after finding that the beginning of the second book wasn't to my taste.

Gravebooks by J. A. White

Refreshingly did not suffer from Middle-Grade Sequel Syndrome (i.e. the first book was charming and original and the second is somehow a lifeless slog). It was a worthy successor thematically to the first book.

The Mystery of the Gulls by Phyllis A. Whitney

Not one of Whitney's stronger mysteries but had an interesting setting.

As for comics, I haven't been reading anything new steadily since I was concentrating on screenshotting a series I've already read (so I don't have to put myself through scouring the entire thing whenever I need a panel for reference), but now I'm moving on (slowly) to screenshotting early Tim Drake material, including some issues that were new to me. You guys might get some of those panels inflicted on you at some point.

#random personal stuff #@lady-merian I read another of those books feel free to ignore #it was a difficult month for reading since I was traveling and got sick and didn't feel like doing much of anything #but I'm hoping this month will be better and that there will be more books that I am actually excited about

[tessabennet]

So. *wiggles eyebrows* You're saying if I ask real nice, you'll give me ALL the spoilers? I'm SO VERY tempted right now to ask a million questions and have you spoil the shit out of your own fic. 👀

But where's the fun in that? So much of the excitement of reading the series is in finding out how you're going to deal with certain events/characters/canon fuck-ups and how you're ultimately going to turn this ship around.

So, I will refrain (so generous of me, I know!). Still, if you feel so inclined, can I ask 25 & 35 for the ask game?

Also, since I'm writing this in a sort of vegetative state from my sickbed (yes, please pity me, thank you!), can I ask for a line/snippet from one of the future parts, pretty please?

Thank you!🥰

Noo, J, sorry to hear you're sick. Hope it's nothing too serious 😧

Your restraint is greatly appreciated btw, I know how hard it must be 😜😁 So, here we go with the asks:

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

Bucky's favourite drink is a Mamie Taylor. He never much got to drink it, because the places they usually went to before the war didn't really do cocktails (more like beer and hard liquor, you know?) He rediscovered it in the 21st century, by which point it had also become Steve's favourite - because, well, nowadays the drink is called a Buck.

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

Write what you know is the obvious answer. Like... no? Sir, this is comic book logic. I'm no brain surgeon or neurologist, I'm going on pretentious name dropping and wikipedia alone. I've only been to a tiny fraction of all the places I name in the series; I only know Brooklyn by google maps street view. I never once ran an international intelligence agency or worked as a black ops agent. How the fuck would I ever write anything if it was just me and my life experience??

The other thing I've seen as ""advice"" before is to not use semicolons. Which, fuck that. You can pry those from my cold dead hands because I need them and we're bound for live, it's a love story, etc etc.

As for the snippet you asked for, of course you'll get one! A long one even, right under the cut. It's from the latest chapter I wrote, only just this morning.

I really hope you'll feel better very soon!! Gute Besserung ❤️‍🩹

Because Steve moved back to the Heights. Once he'd found the place, he knew there wouldn't be another choice. He's just a few streets away from the place where, before the war, he was the happiest. Just a few block away from his and Bucky's old place.

A few years ago he probably wouldn't have been willing to pay for his new place. Able, maybe, but too stubborn to give in to the insane prices that a place in Brooklyn will cost in this century.

Except the prices have gone way down since the Snap. Fewer people in the world means fewer people with the kind of money that can afford a condo like this. In fact, the apartment Steve got here is probably way below the kind of place he could afford. He started realising way back when he first moved to DC that there's a whole new world of apartments that he could afford, way more luxurious than this one. He never cared for that shit, and he's not starting now.

This condo's more than enough, really. It's a quiet street, relatively speaking. It's only a short way to work. He's close to Cadman Plaza, which opened in 1939, when he and Bucky were still living in Montague Street. It feels familiar. Steve sometimes goes by the War memorial on his way home. Somehow, that feels way more sincere than the showy statue of Captain America in Prospect Park. After all, Captain America never lived in Brooklyn; he never set foot in it, not really. In Brooklyn, Steve's ever only been some guy. A mouthy one, yes, but nothing special.

Bucky would disagree on this. But that's not the point.

#writing #fanfic #marvel

[justmeinatree]

i love talking about my writing so i do not mind all the questions 😂 i've been part of too many fandoms to name here but some of the ones i was the most involved in include Supernatural (still love the show, just don't engage with the fandom much anymore), the MCU (stopped watching the movies after Endgame, went to see Eternals because Harry was in the post credits scene and then fell asleep halfway through and missed him), Star Wars (was more into this when i was younger, these days the only Star Wars media i really care for is Rogue One and nobody else seemed to like that movie lol), Star Trek (mostly TOS), Doctor Who (same thing as Supernatural, still love it just not in the fandom anymore, and the 12th Doctor is my favorite <3), Community (still love the show, probably going to be getting back into the fandom when the movie drops), Les Miserables (i've read the book, seen the Hugh Jackman movie too many times to count, and saw a performance of it a few years back! still love the musical but the fandom feels like it's mostly dead now), Harry Potter (for obvious reasons, I have distanced myself from this one as much as possible but I was a Ravenclaw if anyone was wondering), the Throne of Glass books by Sarah J Maas (actually planning to reread this over the summer! may get back into the fandom, we'll see) and I've been active in the fandom for just about every mainstream horror franchise (and plenty of the more obscure ones too lol). I could probably spend hours creating a comprehensive list of fandoms but i think this is enough for now, unless you're just dying to know more 😂 i started writing in first grade, so around 6 years old. i've known i want to be a writer almost my entire life. i think the first bit of fanfic i ever wrote was for Harry Potter actually, but i don't remember anything about it. and i don't actually know what got me into reading fanfic...i just kind of always remember it being my go-to form of entertainment when i was bored. i am SO sorry for putting a whole novel in your askbox...apparently we're both in very chatty moods today lol

dialogue is the hardest thing for me to write because i always have to rewrite the conversation ten times before i feel like it sounds the way two people would actually speak. i'm much better at giving overly flowery descriptions of the space, and of character's appearances, emotions, etc. i tend to try and limit dialogue as much as i can when possible. my other writing crutch is semi-colons...i simply cannot go a paragraph without including one.

now the pressure is on to keep the fic good for the two of you 😂 i think this is the first time i've been told that two of my readers were talking about my fic beyond the comments section.

i think she's 3 years old? but i always forget. i'll have to ask my mom next time i call her, she's the one that keeps track 😂

-🤘

wow, i cannot comment on any of the fandoms 🫣 don’t rip me apart or anything but i’ve literally never watched a single movie or episode related to any of them 😅 to be fair though, i rewatch the same like 10 tv shows on repeat and i’m not much one for movies 😬 but still that’s so impressive ! HOW did you find so many things that you enjoyed enough to join a fandom ? honestly love all of that for you, and apparently i need to broaden my horizons 😅

that’s crazy how it’s so opposite for us ! conversation is so easy for me to imagine. i wouldn’t even know how to avoid it 😅 semi colons !! never use those bad boys but i’m told i use too many commas. love me a good comma 😂

SHE’S SO CUTE !! i’ve seen the photos you sent and omggg she’s seriously adorable. i don’t know what i was picturing but honestly she’s surpassed the image ! such a fkn cutie 😍😍

#asks #🤘anon

[navree]

Personally I think Cregan is overrated asf , however do you think that there was something between J*ce and Cregan and the whole thing about Sara was just a cover up story made by Mushroom?

(I don't really know that much about Cregan so I can't speak to whether he's overrated or not but he seems Fine and I like stern characters anyway and his behavior during the Hour of the Wolf was admittedly badass)

Again, with the ever present caveat that we don't know what actually happened and that at a certain point this all just becomes pure speculation, I don't think that Sara Snow was a cover for anything. Mushroom's not really the guy to engage in a coverup for people, his lies are specifically about making things seem outlandish as possible. If anything, he's going to embellish a salacious story further, and would have probably written about how Jace and Sara and Cregan all had a threesome together while Jace's dragon burned down the Winterfell godswood or something. So it's either that Sara Snow was the only thing he knew about and didn't have any information to take it further, or he literally just made her up (and I'm not getting into that because the "did Sara Snow ever exist" debate has somehow become a proxy for the Jonerys/Jonsa ship war and I refuse to get involved in fandom drama bullshit) .

As to whether I think that, "canonically", Jace and Cregan ever had any kind of romantic or sexual affair? Honestly, not canonically to the book, no. Again, it's speculation, I cannot give any more of an informed opinion than "do I personally think this was the writer's intent to hint at", especially with the format of the book, but in my view, no. George wrote that Jace and Cregan got close, yes, but it doesn't seem to be any closer than the average Westerosi bro thing. And honestly, I don't think George would have intended to even hint at it. Fire & Blood is, as I say, a history book, which means that the information George is giving us is mostly information we need to know. Part of the reason why character interpretation for the figures in the book (like the Conquerors and their dynamics, for instance) is because how they feel and what their relationships are like just aren't important to the information that actually needs to be conveyed. In F&B, George isn't really giving us superfluous information, and an affair between Cregan and Jace would likely be seen as superfluous to the main war storyline that's happening.

But! Do I wanna see it happen? Yeah I think it could be fun, I think it'd finally give Jace some fucking character, it would allow for more LGBT representation in this franchise, and it would be an interesting look into Westeros cultures and norms and differences between the regions. If they do go with that though then they need to give it its due, none of this "oh it's fine and doesn't matter and is just a fling with some guy anyway" fan interpretation nonsense. It needs to mean a lot for Jace that he's actively betraying his betrothed, and what that means for his thoughts on love and sex and same sex attraction and Cregan, and we need to see how it impacts Cregan too (I think by the time he meets Jace he's already a widower with a kid???? sir how old are you even????).

#personal #answered #anonymous #i feel like i say this a lot but i'll say it again: i slept badly so this might not be very coherent #but i tried my hardest #starks aren't really my thing so i just don't pay a lot of attention to them

[iturbide]

I love how this whole chain went from:

grab your mini pitchforks -> grab the popcorn

really fast. Anywho, other than that jazz, how are you doing overall?

I will gladly take popcorn over pitchforks any day (the pitchforks are their own brand of entertainment, but the popcorn is always fun)

Other than that I'm doing okay, though! Still really excited that the Lodestar.sys zine is out (I still think my piece in there is one of the best things I've ever written), but besides that most of my energy is spent keeping track of kittens so other things have been put on the backburner:

I mean. Look at these little hellions.

don't let Hubert's murderous look fool you, Ferdinand is equally naughty

With them in mind, my bookbinding experiments have been put on the backburner for a while; I'm about halfway through my test copy of Crown of Shadows, though -- the signatures are all folded and stitched, the textblock has been sanded, the endpapers are attached (though I want to give the whole thing a final sanding to get things nice and even), and the covers have been cut to size -- and I think it's coming together really nicely so far! I'm thinking about kicking into it again this weekend, since I'd like to get a few copies of Proof of Life together to use as a testing ground for some cover stuff I want to play with before going all-out on the hardcover.

After Crown of Shadows (which I might make another copy or two of, just to keep trying my hand at the flat back book format, we'll see) I'd really like to do a copy of Heart of the Moon with a rounded back, since that one's so much bigger: Crown of Shadows clocks in around 41.5k words and I managed to fit it into 6 signatures (a little big for a flat back, but still reasonably in range for it), while Heart of the Moon sits at 60k and looks like it'll need 11 signatures total, making it a good choice for experimenting with rounding.

(Once I have a little more experience with different formats under my belt, I'd really like to start binding more of my favorite fics and trying to get in touch with the authors to gift them copies of their works; I'm starting with mine since they're just for me, so it's fine if they go sidways...though I guess if anyone would want a hard copy of something I've written, let me know?)

Aside from there, I've been thinking about picking up a video game again but haven't done it yet (again, in part because of kittens who are Too Interested in the TV sometimes). Choices are between Legends Arceus again since I still want a shiny Hisuian Zorua or two, Horizon: Zero Dawn since I picked that one up a while ago and still haven't finished out the damn intro, the latest God of War because it's all Norse mythology and I'm predictable, or Three Houses to finish out that Azure Moon playthrough and go back to Claude because I love and miss him...but I haven't committed.

Instead I've just been playing stuff in the background and occasionally paying attention. I had a craving for Retro Anime recently and picked up Detective Conan again (I love this comedy murder show but it messes me up sometimes, there are some heavy episodes). Also finished Spy x Family and I'm sobbing I love them and October can't get here soon enough because then I get both the second half of Spy x Family's first season and Season 3 of Mob Psycho 100 which I am so stoked for you have no idea. And lucky for me, Nona the Ninth comes out in September, which should tide me over until the new anime I yearn for arrives.

Writing has been stalled basically since the start of the year and continues as such. I'm still stuck with just chapter 7 of last year's Chrobin Week to finish, and I have a bunch of other ideas that I'd like to start exploring, both for Awakening and Three Houses (since I'm desperately missing Claude), as well as an original piece that I've been rolling around for years that's come back to the forefront recently. We'll see what if anything comes out of any of that, but it might just end up being a sparse year on writing.

Anyway yes that's my long-winded status update ramble

#answered #anonymous #yes i am going to spam kitten photos #you can't stop me #anyway lots of stuff for anyone interested in minutiae #everything from bookbinding to watch lists

[kyugens]

I want to hear more about your thoughts on Tsunade's teaching style. How would you say it compares to Jiraiya's and Orochimaru’s? Thanks!

unprompted  –  always accepting!

Such a great question! I love that you took the time to send me this, and I'm happy to answer! The idea behind Tsunade not being a good mentor ( read not believing in the praise = success motto ) is connected directly with her more toxic personality traits and untreated trauma. I wrote about this once, how her inability to love and be loved affected her relationship with her apprentices – it pretty much applies here too. It's not that she can't love Shizune, Sakura, or even Ino but that she refuses to! She refuses to let her affection blind her because she knows it would be a disservice to them. They asked her to teach them ( with Shizune being the exception because she didn't have a choice on the matter, and neither did Tsunade, a whole thing for another time ), and that's what she's going to do.  They'll train chakra control until they pass out from exhaustion and are going to read her medical journals from dusk until dawn. They will fight and learn from each other's mistakes ( mainly Sakura and Ino. that's another thing she does: use their competitiveness to inspire their rivalry and breed animosity, because that's ultimately leading to their improvement ). It doesn't matter that your hands have been burnt from all the extremely difficult techniques, or that you're hallucinating and having nightmares from reading so much because Tsunade also wrote the worst years of her life in those pages with so many details and graphic depctions. And it doesn't matter that you broke your arm during yesterday's spar. Because life as a Kunoichi is anything but forgiving, and Tsunade, more than anyone, knows that. At any given moment, their loved ones' lives are at risk, and they could lose everything just as she did. Going easy on them, or trying to inspire love out of them for her techniques or even herself– from the way she sees it, will do nothing in favor of either Sakura or Ino. But knocking their butts to the ground and SHOWING them just how incapable they still are of protecting other people AND themselves – that should do the trick. And for Sakura? It did. But for Ino, probably not so much. And again, Shizune didn't have another option. All in all, Tsunade's default is extremely-tough love. She's probably broken and mended more bones in her apprentices' bodies than she did during the two wars she participated in. It's not what they want but what they need. Can it be qualified as abusive? Very likely. But it's not like she's keeping them hostage and forcing them to do anything. Ino left, and Shizune, at some point, also managed to put an end to it. And how it compares to Orochimaru and Jiraiya's teaching style, well... For starters, I don't think that either of them is as harsh on their students as Tsunade is on Sakura. Sasuke is naturally talented, and Naruto, regardless of how little he knows about the theory behind jutsus ( read he's not book smart ) still has access to a pretty large chakra reserve he inherited from the Uzumaki and to Kyuubi, so if he tries enough times he'll eventually get it right by sundown ( literally how he learned the rasengan! and it's a very fancy jutsu). Everything Sakura had going for her was her own determination. Tsunade is not as close to Sakura as Jiraiya is to Naruto, because she makes sure of that. But still, their relationship isn't the same as Orochimaru and Sasuke's – she doesn't have an ulterior motive to be teaching Sakura. Nevertheless, with Sakura specifically... I think she relates to her a lot, and should Sakura ever decide to stop their training, Tsunade would be very upset with it. But don't think she doesn't care for Sakura! She does! For Shizune and Ino as well! She will do anything for those girls – except let them know just loved and appreciated they are. It is... some kind of self-preservation instinct in some ways. What if other people learn just how much they mean to her and try to use it against her? Ah, there's so much to talk about it. lmao But this is enough for today. Thank you again! I loved writing this. <3

@super-kame-love

#[ ooc ⋅ answered ] #[ headcanon ] – tsunade. #tw untreated trauma #tw child abuse #not- that exactly #but kinda #anyways #thank you!! #i love writing about tsunade and her lil murder babies #[ long post ] #superkamelove