#i'm okay just having a case of adhd brain

[grison-in-space]

Hi! I've just stumbled onto the dogblr side of Tumblr and it seems fascinating. Could you recommend any fundamental reading/watching material for people who want to start learning about dog training/behaviour/cognition? It would also be cool to hear about how you, personally, got into it if you're okay sharing- it seems like a niche field and I'm curious about what the journey might look like for different people. Thanks! ^.^

Oh, sure! Bear in mind that my particular path is, um, actually much weirder than most folks': the dog training with clients is a very new (and very part time) development in my professional life. In my full time job, I'm a postdoctoral associate in neuroscience working on motivation and decision-making in the context of animal behavior. And even for that, my career path has been bizarre: I started out in population genetics, did the PhD in behavioral ecology with a side of metabolic neuroendocrinology, and have now wound up in a NIH-oriented lab focusing on topics related to sex differences, neurodivergence and addiction.

It just occured to me that the dog training thing puts me squarely on the grounds of applied animal behavior research, which means that I've done it! I've poked into all the disciplines that can be described as Animal Behaviour and collected all the achievements! I really gotta reinvest in the Animal Behavior meeting, huh. Oh, wait, no: I'm forgetting behavior genetics, which is an area of strong interest I've poked around the edges of but never myself published in.

See, animal behavior as a formal study contains at least four different disciplines of study that really only loosely interact with one another. Behavioral ecology often appears in concert within ecology and evolution, and it focuses on the study of animals within their own natural context according to their own concerns and experiences. Neuroscience is typically thinking in terms of understanding the mechanism of the human brain, and behaviorism is similarly trained on the universal mechanisms of learning and behavior. Applied animal behavior involves studying how to most effectively, safely, and ethically manage animals in human care, including both domestic animals and captive wild ones; it also covers finding out how to teach animals to do complex but useful behaviors, like training working animals. Neuroendocrinology involves studying how hormones effect changes in the brain and body: metabolic hormones, stress hormones, sex hormones, the works. Behavior genetics (and epigenetics) include studying the effects of genetic variation on behavior itself.

It's certainly not uncommon for people to jump fields once or twice, or to straddle an intersection of approaches over their careers. It's.... less usual to bounce around one's career to quite this extent, which I attribute to the fact that a) I have quite a bit of fairly obvious ADHD, b) I've never worked for anyone who hasn't had their own case bedeviling our focus, and c) I graduated directly into COVID, which meant that I had to figure out a solution on the fly when all the positions I had intended to cultivate dried up overnight.

Not that I'm bitter.

As for how I got into the dog training gig, essentially I like dog training, I really like this outfit, and I have some credit card debt I would really like to pay down. I wanted to meet and talk to more dog folks in the area and I also really missed teaching—I taught every spring and fall through my 8yr PhD, I'm good at it, and I really enjoy it. Since I've respected (almost) every instructor I've had through this outfit, and the one exception involved being listened to immediately about my concerns and increased supervision in response, and I knew that one of my instructors worked part time with them, I figured it might be a neat side gig. So far, that's been bourne out.

I also do have some longer term plans to do some behavioral genetics and neuroscience work on dogs, and I would like to incorporate some noninvasive experiments that use dogs from the general public. My facility also has a robust doggy daycare program and it'd be rad to work with them to build opportunities for everyone in a few years. I'm hoping to leverage a permanent tenure track job at my institution over it, but I might go in several directions from here. Predicting the direction of my career has been a losing proposition so far, so let's see what seems good at the time and stick around as long as I'm having fun.

As for how I got into dogs and dog behavior specifically? In addition to the ADHD, I'm autistic enough to have been diagnosed as a tween girl in the 00s, and my special interests never quite leave —they just flare up and simmer down in long periods over my life. Dogs are the first and earliest of these; my parents told me that they'd seen me gravitating towards the family Lhasa from pretty much the moment I could roll over on my belly. That seems about right. Dogs have been my gateway to huge corridors of my intellectual world, and dog training specifically have been a hobby for some time. In addition to my training gig, I'm experimenting with functional service tasks to support me as burnout and neurodivergence have limited my capacity.

Books and reading recs I'll try to get to later, mm falling asleep right now.

#dog training #career #day job #dogblr

[bisquid]

Wait wait you can't just drop that off and not elaborate. What do you mean is there a mafia presence in Wales?? Please spill, what things did you notice??

Okay so bearing in mind that I have ADHD and Chronic Terrible Observational Skills:

I am in Cardiff

For a concert I am attending solo

Doors open at 5

4:15 ish I go 'hmm I should eat something'

Cardiff is - unsurprisingly, being tiny and yet home to FOUR concert venues - Very Busy

Find McDonald's

McDonald's is very full. I recall my last concert related McDick's experience, and promptly bounce

Directly across the street

Is an Italian restaurant

It looks closed but fuckit maybe I can beg for like. Bread or some shit

Go over

Am immediately pounced upon by the hitherto unnoticed chain-smoking woman hanging out by the door mostly hidden by a potted ficus(?)

"I was wondering if you were open and if-" "yes yes we are open what would you like?" (strongish Italian accent)

Inside restaurant is Deserted

Explain that I'm sort of in a rush, am assured it's fine

Order chicken milanese which is generally a pasta dish with a breaded chicken component

Am led to seat nearish the front and promptly provided with a pint of coke in a glass tankard

Am then provided with a front row seat to an absolutely incomprehensible series of people entering and exiting (and in one case walking directly into) the door to what I can only presume is the kitchen

Starting with the guy who had been sitting at a table chain-smoking over a pile of papers

I counted at least three people exiting at least twice without actually entering in between

Am finally brought food

It is a breaded, butterflied chicken breast approximately the size of my face and a small pile of pasta approximately the size of my fist

It is all delicious

Chain-smoking papers man reappears, now wearing a chef's apron labcoat thing

Go up to pay, chain-smoking ficus lady is now having a very loud argument in a language I did not recognise but was not Italian Welsh English French russian Gaelic or Spanish

She sees me, says, and I quote 'ah little girl lost, one moment' and promptly hangs up

I am 27 and only nominally female

I am not remotely lost

She charges me for the pint of coke but not the food

I try to point out that she hasn't charged me for the food

'do you want to pay for the food?'

'.... Not if I don't have to?'

'good'

I leave. The door is now full of half a dozen very tall very Italian men and one absolutely adorable cocker spaniel

I ask if I can pet the dog (I have my priorities straight okay)

I am allowed to pet the dog. The dog and I are now best friends

The dog lead holder asks me in extremely accented but impeccably correct English if I had enjoyed the food

'yeah it was great!'

Everyone laughs a bit

I smile and pet the dog and realise I'm now late for the concert and hurry off

I see a post on Tumblr about mob fronts and several connections are made in my brain all at once

#i have impeccable observational skills #but only in hindsight #or if it's wildlife

[lawqual1ty]

Heart drawings (Trafalgar Law x GN!Reader)

Pov: After finishing your duties you end up hanging out with Law during his work but end up getting bored which results in you adding a little something to your captain's skin.

Warning: too much fluff (go get some insulin), reader has (implied) ADHD symptoms

You had never been known to be a person that could sit still for long, whether it was moving your leg around or playing with something in your hand you had to always be doing something or else your brain would go insane, which got you to offer your helping hand in a lot of situations once you joined the Heart pirates.

However there would always be days, like today, that there was not much you could do even if you asked to, so you had to stick to reading or studying for the most part after you finished your daily duties.

You were in your room reading a few of the medicine books that your Captain , Trafalgar Law, had generously lent you for your free time, however well... You were struggling... And a lot.

"Wait... What was I reading...?" You grunted, this was the third time in a row you had read the words on the book only to forget seconds later what exactly you had read with great speed. You were getting irritated. You wanted to learn more about how to create different types of medicine so that you could help your crew but your brain was having a hard time concentrating, you rubbed the bridge of your nose with annoyance.

"I need a break..." You muttered as you softly closed the book, a light tap from the cover giving you the signal that you could head off.

You wandered around for a while looking for something to do, many of your crewmates were already hanging out with each other, chatting, drinking and some even helping out to clean the medical bay, you wanted to offer a helping hand in hopes of entertaining your inevitable boredom.

"hey, what are you guys doing?" You asked softly approaching Sachi and Bepo who were cleaning a few medical supplements, the latter turning to look at you.

"Oh, we were just cleaning and sharpening some of our usual tools in case we get an emergency" Bepo tilted his head slightly "Did you need anything Y/N?"

You smiled at the sweet gesture of Bepo, shaking your head slightly at his question "Nope, I was just wondering if you guys needed any help"

Bepo looked over at the different tools placed in display, seeming to think about your question a bit too much before turning to look at you with an apologetic look on his face "Not really... I'm so sorry"

He apologized as usual, his tone shifting to a more melancholic one making you chuckle nervously, you never enjoyed seeing him like this but he was just so sweet that you understood where this attitude of his came from, you shook your hands in front of you in a way of excusing yourself, almost as if the one that had to be apologizing should be you "No no it's okay, no need to apologize Bepo..." His eyes lit up with relief as you didn't seem mad at him for rejecting your help, it made you feel relieved yourself.

You sighed deeply with a soft smile "Anyway, good luck you too" Sachi smiled at you warmly as well as Bepo

"Thank you! We'll make sure that everything is right! Oh..." You were about to leave when Sachi's words seemed to try and stop you in your tracks "If you go see the captain tell him we are lacking some oxygen tanks".

Your eyes widened at his words, why did he think you were going to see the captain? Out of shock you just nodded with a soft but shy smile "Sure thing, I'll make sure to inform him once I see him" with those last words you waved at the duo and walked away.

A sigh escaped your lips as you kept walking, you didn't originally intend to see your Captain but now thanks to Sachi and Bepo you sort of had an excuse... Right? You made your way through the cold but oddly comforting halls of the Polar Tang, you had not been here for long but these halls had definitely grown on you... Maybe they weren't the best looking but the people around them made it feel like a home to you.

You finally arrived at the office door of your captain, you were a tad bit nervous to interrupt him but... You had a job to do so you might as well shake that nervousness off and knock, which you did.

"Come in..." A light husky voice invited you inside, you breathed softly.

"Please excuse me..." You muttered before placing your hand in the door handle and opened it, a light creak welcoming you inside to the sight of your captain with big eyebags under his eyes as he drowned in paperwork, he didn't even raise his eyesight to acknowledge you "Yes? What is it Y/N-ya?".

You took a deep breath before speaking.

"Sachi informed me that we are short of oxygen tanks"

"Oh right... Write it down on the paper list and we'll get some more on the next island..."

He didn't even budge, and honestly neither did you... You knew that after this interaction you wouldn't have much to do later which made you a bit sad... So you just stood there, staring at your captain for a bit. He seemed to notice it, after all an exasperated sigh escaped his lips, his grey eyes slowly rising to look at you with a piercing cold gaze "Anything else?" He spoke, cold and firmly, questioning why you were still there in the first place... That should have been the end of your interaction, informing him was the only reason you came in there after all, right? Then why didn't you respond...? Your mind started racing...

"Captain..." Before you were fully aware of your actions you took a step forward and spoke "Do you... Mind if I stay for a bit?"

You caught a glimpse of surprise in your Captain's eyes, those grey spheres seeming to warm up for a moment at your offer. But just as quickly as it appeared it went away only for his attention to shift back to his paperwork.

"I... I'm sorry..." You were quick to apologize, your voice wavering ever so slightly

"I didn't mean to--"

"Go on."

You froze "What...?"

"I said you can stay..."

His words snapped you back to reality, he was... Allowing you to stay, you had no space for words, you just nodded and moved a chair over next to his desk taking a seat politely next to him as he kept on working.

He didn't budge at all, if anything it seemed like his concentration increased thanks to your presence, the mere idea made you happy as you sat there next to him.

Unfortunately you started getting bored once more, as thrilling as it was watching your captain work through his paperwork with graze, not budging at all, it had gotten boring after a few minutes.

You started looking around finding yourself with a pen, you softly took it into your hands and started fiddling with it... Suddenly, an idea sparked in your brain. You took the cap off it and started scribbling in your hand, trying to see if the pen was smooth enough to draw on your soft skin, you smiled brightly once you confirmed your suspicions: it was a good pen and it drew a perfect black ray on your skin with ease.

Once you discovered this you started drawing on your hands, starting off with a skeletal hand to practice the location of different bones in the hand to less professional stuff like hearts and small animals. You were entertained by your own scribbles when all of a sudden you were interrupted by Law grunting and leaning backwards on his chair.

He had his left arm laid across the chair, his tattooed hand dangling in the air, while his right arm stroked his face with obvious frustration. You stared at him then back at the pen you were holding, slowly but steadily a smirk formed on your lips.

Without a warning you scooted closer to your Captain, he didn't even realize you were closer to him until he felt your hands take a hold of his left arm, he flinched but didn't move his arm at all... They say curiosity killed the cat ... And curiosity had definitely gotten to him as he looked at you take his arm with your hand and start passing the pen around his skin in delicate but firm traces.

"What are you doing?" He questioned with a furrowed expression

"Drawing" you spoke bluntly as you focused on the piece of art that you were doing in his arm "I got bored..."

Your response caught him off guard, his eyes wide as he stared at you for a bit. A small smile formed on his lips "I need to check your medical record..."

His soft tone was like a way of signaling you something...of what he really meant: he didn't mind you drawing on him... You looked over at him for a moment only to smile and return to your drawing, you didn't know much what you were doing you just followed your heart as you scribbled. Slowly but steadily the drawing took form into a star surrounded by wavy lines that formed what almost looked like a tattoo design, you even went out of your way to draw small hearts, a secret confession of your feelings to your Captain (not that he would notice... Right?) You leaned back with a satisfied smile as you looked at your work, you looked over at Law who seemed entranced into one of his books, he hadn't budged during your whole art process. Once you leaned back he hummed softly, his eyes never leaving his book at all "You done?" He asked politely, you nodded.

"Yeah I did!"

"Good... My arm was starting to fall asleep..."

You couldn't help but laugh at his snarky comment "At least you now got another cool tattoo"

He huffed with a slight smirk "Doubt it..." You acted offended at his words giving him a light push on his shoulder winning a soft laugh from him.

"You haven't even seen it!"

"I don't need to..."

"Oh come on... You have seen my drawings!"

A soft chuckle was the only response you got, it made you smile, although he acted as if he probably didn't like it you knew that he did... Or that's what you'd like to believe...

And trust me he did...

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

A few days after the drawing incident you were wandering around the Polar Tang heading to the kitchen to get something to eat as you were pretty hungry.

You waltzed around when a characteristic husky voice caught your attention in an instant, it came from the kitchen. Following the voice you peaked through the door finding your captain talking with Penguin about something you didn't quite catch, all you knew was that it was something serious judging by Law's and Penguin's expression.

You stood there for a bit waiting for the right moment to enter when all of a sudden you noticed a small detail on your Captain's left arm, your eyes widened and your cheeks flushed a light pink...

What did you see?

Well, you saw your drawing tattooed onto his arm... That was the only reasonable explanation as to why it still looked so bright and vivid, after all a few days had passed since you did it and unless Law had taken extreme care of it it should have already been at least a little bit vanished, just like the drawings you did on your own skin from that same day.

Penguin was walking away once he had finished speaking to Law, which was your signal to pounce.

You slowly made your way towards Law catching his attention once you were hovering behind him, he glanced at him over his shoulder "Y/N-ya...?"

His question was left in the air once you took his left arm rising it to your face, much to his surprise, you scanned the drawing carefully confirming your suspicions: he had indeed tattooed it onto his skin. You turned to look to a flustered Law with a bright smile.

"You actually tattooed my drawing?!" You asked in both surprise and excitement, Law covered his face with his hand, a blush creeping its way to his cheeks in an instant

"Shut up..."

You laughed.

Maybe you should draw on him more often when you get bored...

#trafalgar law #one piece #one piece x reader #one piece fanfiction #trafalgar law x y/n #trafalgar one piece #one piece fic #trafalgar law x reader #one piece fluff #one piece scenario #oneshot #trafalgardwaterlaw #trafalgar d law x reader

[qsmp-live-posting]

Okay now I'm calmer. I see a lot of people talking about the abuser being a hyperfixation or obsession for comfort. So this is going to be some tips.

AN AUTISTIC WITH ADHD'S GUIDE TO HELPING AVOID A OBSESSION/HYPERFIXATION: AKA SO YOUR FAVOURITE FANDOM/CREATOR/ARTIST TURNED OUT TO SUCK. (THATS PUTTING IT LIGHTLY) (P.s. not a professional just from experience)

Tips:

FIND A NEW ONE.

a little difficult but, find something else to satisfy that dopamine hit in your brain. Watch new shows, look at new fandoms. In the case of this specific guy... You have options of plenty of MCYT but here's my recommendations.

For smp content: there is plenty including new ones. Obviously if your here you may know QSMP.

Qsmp:

Creators: philza, badboyhalo, Tubbos, Fitmc, Foolish(gamers), Slimecicle, Iron mouse, nihachu, Quackity, Tina kitten, and many more than speak other languages such as cellbit, pac and Mike ect ect

And many other smps (I don't know much about them I don't watch)

As for other Minecraft YouTubers there is plenty to watch.

Aimsey for example.

Shubble (go give them your support)

And many others

Next tip

INDULGE IN OTHER FOCUS TOPICS

Listen watch and enjoy other dopamine causing likes of yours. Listen to other music. Watch fan art videos of other fandoms you like. Watch animatics. Scroll the tags.

Next

BLOCK THE TAGS UNSUB GET RID OF IT

Block the tags. It's gonna be hard. Just block it. Don't let yourself see it. It's hard but you have to move on. Unsubscribe. Unfollow. Don't let it come up. Be brutal. remove it from Spotify

NEXT

TAKE A BREAK FROM THE INTERNET.

If your hyperfocus lives in the internet. Do something else. Turn off the phone for a bit. Talk to people around you. Breaking a hyperfixation can cause depression and anxiety. So move away and take some time.

Next

FIND AN OLD FAV

We all have old hyperfixations that died. Or old interests we fell out of. Not be cause it was problematic or anything we just outgrow these things

Go look them up. Watch it. Read it. Enjoy the content and it's fandom maybe you can rekindle an old love

I might add more later

This is all I have energy for

Take some time

#how to break hyperfixations #qsmp #qsmp liveblog #wilbur soot #shelby shubble #hyperfixations #autism #adhd #awareness #wilbur mcyt #wilbur fanart #qsmp wilbur #fuck wilbur soot #william gold #fuck that guy

[thebibliosphere]

Hi there, ive come from your post about ADHD and emotional disregulation, firstly thank you so much for putting it into words, its such a complicated part of how i deal with emotions and i havent ever been able to articulate how to why.

Secondly, in that post you mentioned how you've used stress as a motivator and how eventually your stress regualtion broke, i was wondering if you'd be willing to talk about that? (If not, its not a problem)

I feel like the same thing has happened to me but until i read your post i had no idea that something had... snapped? I suppose? I struggle with motivation all the time and in the past id have a week or a few days left and id be able to suddently push myself very hard to complete whatever it is before the deadline, just barely making it in most cases. However now it seems that i can't find that motivation anymore, deadlines come and pass and i can't being myself to work on anything, and i just end up spiralling into shame and guilt. That motivation was the only thing that I was able to rely on sometimes for things like uni, and i conviced myself that it was just me growing lazy or trying to get out of responsibility as to why the "last minute panic-mode" doesnt work anymore.

Again, if you don't wanna tackle this can of worms or if it's something youd rather not post online i totally get it, its no biggie! thanks so much for making the original post as well, it means a lot

Hello friend, thanks for the message. I'm sorry you're also dealing with this.

The good news here is that I've already talked about this using the rubber band analogy my therapist gave me. (Stress is like a Rubber Band)

If you don't have the mental bandwidth to read all of it now, the tl;dr is "stress is like a rubber band; it can stretch to hold numerous things in place when you need to, but if you do it too often or keep adding more and more strain under the band, the elastic eventually becomes brittle and snaps, taking your mental and sometimes physical health with it too."

I've been in intensive therapy for this for roughly three years now, and trying to piece my brain back together after my last bout of stress-induced productivity gave me a total mental breakdown.

It's... odd not being able to use stress and having to actively avoid it to avoid a relapse. But it is doable. Medication would help, but alas, I've got weird health issues and am unmedicated at the minute.

(And just in case that sparks anyone to go, "Oh, you do all this unmedicated! Wow, that's so inspiring!" as sometimes parents do to me on here as they then tell me they don't want to medicate their kids, I've unfortunately also written a post about what that kind of success looks like from an unmedicated perspective and the kind of suicidal ideation I deal with on the regular because I cannot take meds. It is not pleasant reading, but it is necessary for some folks, specifically anti-med, "if you just tried harder" people.)

A book you may find helpful is Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. It was very validating for me to read about other people going through the same things, and made me feel less of a "this is a personal failing on my part" and more of a "Oh okay yeah, no stress literally breaks people."

It helped soothe some of my own internalized "I just need to try harder" and helped cement me on the path I was already going down with my ADHD therapist toward changing how I view myself and how I manage my ADHD.

I hope that helps! If you've got more specific questions or I didn't touch on something in my old post, I can try to answer them :)

#chronic health tag #adult adhd #adhd

[xeno828]

Okay, I'm an idiot!!! (Trollhunters Ending Revelation)

So, someone pointed this out to me recently and I just want to cry!! HERE ME OUT.............the ending to Rise of the Titans is actually better than you think cus there were some details I think were meant to be more obvious than they came across.

FIRST - We're all peeved that going back in time erased everyone's memories and therefore relationships and character development. However, when they go back Tobey is suddenly able to climb the rope in gym class and Claire seems to be paying attention more to Jim than last time. Especially when he is giving his speech at the audition, having a rewatch made me realize as soon as he starts speaking she has a look of recognition, almost like she thinks she's heard this speech somewhere before. Not only that but Barbara and Stickler got along incredibly quickly for 2 people who had only just met. These imply they have some sort of subconscious memory of the last timeline, WHICH considering Nari said time is NOT linear makes sense, cus if it was liner everything would be exactly the same as the first time without these subtle changes. Also, Nari said the ninth configuration is the key, the amulet would only work after they figured this out, if that's the case maybe Nari knew the amulet would to some degree protect them from complete amnesia, they just need to be 'woken up' so to speak. (Also since Merlin and Nari will be alive again they might actually be able to help with this too, especially Nari, she's the demi-god that gave them this advice for goodness sake!!!)

SECOND - The new amulet is 'For the good of all' which does tie directly into going back in time to save EVERYONE.

THIRD - Jim went back in time using the new Akiridion amulet, that means HE STILL HAS IT!!!! The message of the entire movie with Jim is that he now doesn't need the original amulet to be the Trollhunter, he always has been and always will be. Thats why the original amulet chose Toby instead of Jim the second time, it knows Jim doesn't need it anymore and can continue fighting as he is, he will ALWAYS be the Trollhunter with or without it. Jim also knows if he sticks to the original time things will end up the same and his friends that had died will still die, he's urging Toby to be the new Trollhunter to protect him in the coming fights.

There were a couple more points and details but honestly it's 3am and my ADHD brain has forgotten the rest and lost the TikTok I watched 😅

Overall tbh I'm still not happy with the ending, BUT having these pointed out has given me a different less hostile viewpoint on it. I certainly think it's plausible that this was intended but didn't come across very clearly to audiences (myself very much included). Either way, however you wanna interpret it I'm sticking with this as cannon cus if fills me with a lot more hope for the ending than how I originally felt and I don't know about you but I like feeling happy! 🤣

#rise of the titans #trollhunters #3below #tales of arcadia #wizards #jim lake jr #claire #douxie #toby #krel #aja #tarron #fanfic #theory #hisirdoux #nari #fanfiction

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

Adhd Sanzu propaganda because I want to, I already convinced someone:

He's a chaotic gremlin (Not need to explain that).

Same way that happened with Kakucho and Izana. Sanzu's days and life revolve around Mikey (I don't think I need to put examples here). Mikey is Sanzu's special interest and I'm saying it without shame! (Maybe a little bit of shame only)

Sanzu doesn't have sociallization skills. At all. But in a specific way that gives me adhd vibes (putting the trauma a part). Sanzu as a kid is sweet but weird. We can see him not reacting to Baji's tantrums in a way that yeah, can be bc he's used to, but also, his focus is not there. He's awkward in a way that makes me think that he's used to not fit in, to be look as a weirdo every time he talks. So he does the "I'm not gonna talk at all because when I do people hates me". Then, as a teen no division wants him because he's "a wild horse". Excuse me? Have you seen half of Toman? It's because he's weird and doesn't fit in, the wild part would not bother them so much on it's own.

Sanzu doesn't have a middle point. He's always extreme. When he followed Muto became extremly quiet and calm, almost like a shadow (again, it could be literal thinking of the orders Muto gave him).

His weird poses once he's not hiding himself anymore. All the Bonten scene, he's just doing his show, talking too much, too loud and too fast.

All the energy he have also in Kanto Manji. He's so hyped with being with Mikey. Acting loud, being weird and saying things that are only funny in his head bc he forgot to explain the joke (besides the cryptic timeleaping things I mean).

I know in Bonten and Kanto Manji Sanzu is unhinged, but there is something in the way he does it, not caring at all if people gets him or not. It screams adhd "fuck you all i'm not masking anymore" mood so badly!

The katana. The freaking katana is so over the top and so dramatic. And he obviously cares about his katana a lot, he never drops it in the fight against Toman, not even when Taiju sends him flying.

The teatricals of his plans in general. He kills Mucho with a katana in the place where the Kanto Incident took place. And he takes his mask after doing it. Such dramatic and aesthetically pleasing way of killing people.

The train. Hello? This is not NT thinking. Killing everyone, okay, sure. But with a train? What? And he brings his katana just in case? No middle point legendary level here.

He plans chaos. He literally thinks for days how to do the most random and chaotic unhinged thing ever! (The train, the train!)

He have literal thinking. Mikey told him to "smile" so he does it once he's finally serving his king. A big grinn all the time.

His addiction. Since adhd brains don't have impulse control, we tend to be addicts more than the average (I know this part doesn't prove it but it checks too).

The way he have so much beef with people that is happening only in his head. Yeah, he's a hater. But also, I can see a lot of rejection sensitive dysphoria and overthinking because he's mind is telling him everyone would reject him.

He was childhood friends with Mikey and Baji. No one is neurotypical there xD

Visual stimulation. Bright pink and so many vivid/strident colors. C'mon, his bike is pink and pretty! That aesthetic makes my adhdbrain happy. He's obsessed with pink in a not at all NT way.

He's hypersensitive and can't handle some smells (Takemichi, I'm so sorry for you).

Twisted sense of danger over here too. But different than Kakucho. Where Kakucho runs towards danger, Sanzu is the one causing it directly.

Sanzu being banned from meetings in the final timeline. Because he doesn't know when to shut up since he never did masking here.

THE UNMASKING METAPHOR! I left this one for the last because I just realized yesterday and it's beautiful. When he enters the 5th Division, he stops being loud and wild (he's still weird bc Sanzu). The same moment he starts wearing the mask. There is something there, a ND teen who doesn't fit, who is tired and just want to be like the others, being told to "just do that for not driving so much attention on you". And he does it. He wears the physical mask and he starts acting different, doing masking (not literal this time). Until he frees himself of the physical mask. And he stops masking his symptoms, his full personality. He doesn't give a shit anymore about getting too much attention, he's so sick of hiding, that he thrieves in attention now (even in the final timeline does that, he's a youtuber). Unmasking legendary level! (And hardcore masking when he does it)

Edit bc I was sure I wrote this but apparently not: Sanzu has no interest in forming new relationships either. Like Kakucho with Izana, he only does with Mucho because Mikey told him to. But even if he has zero interest in forming new bonds, he's still the center of attention (after unmasking), still being there loudly, being a big part of what marks the dynamic of the group. The "I don't wanna make new friends" but "I can't stop talking and being loud in a group", also a classical adhd mood!

So... I think that's all I can't think for now. It's probably messy and chaotic but hey, it's a post about adhd, so that's fine, right? 🙈

@just-sp-in-inginthevoid spreading adhd!Sanzu like I promise.

Ps: here is the Autistic Kakucho Propaganda in case someone is curious. This two are a pack and they hate it so much 🤣

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers spoilers #sanzu haruchiyo #sanzu headcanons #tokyo revengers headcanons #also you know the 'autism vs adhd' meme? considering sanzu and kakucho are basically archnemesis... yeahh #adhd gremlin #adhd #adhd sanzu

[immortalbutterflycos]

I've come to realize something important in writing. (specifically in my personal experience)

(TLDR; I have ADHD and writing is hard even though I'm still doing it every single day. Make it make sense.)

If you have a story in your head that means a lot to you, and you need to take more time to develop and fully flesh it out before posting it, that's totally okay! In fact, in my experience, it has the potential to make the story better over time, really forming it into what you imagine it to be.

Here's an example because I just typed a lot of words and right now I can't seem to process whether they make sense or not.

I have a fanfic that I've been working on for a year now. (For the Marauders fandom if y'all are curious)

It's one that I haven't talked about much because every time I do, I end up losing the motivation to write. This is what happened to another one of my fics for the Haikyuu fandom. (well that and the Marauders.. yeah they fucked me up in the best way and Freckles and Constellations has really suffered because of it smh)

So the reason why this fic is taking so long is because it is such a specific AU that I'm out here trying to meld magic systems, and I've got like EIGHT MAIN CHARACTERS to write backstories for to fit this AU while also being true to them and even though I know the basic plot, there are just so many little details and aspects that will make this fic what I desperately need it to be.

And no one knows just how intricate it is or how important it is to me. Which is totally fine. I don't even know if people are going to read it when I finally manage to post it. This fic is purely self-indulgent.

let me just break down for you what I have prepared for this already:

countless drabbles and scenes and plans written on the backs of receipts and on bits of scrap paper

a 3" 3-ring binder that I've been trying to organize it all in

a google doc titled "TAoRfOL Doc Masterlist" that has links to every single doc I have for this one fic. (it's dated back to March of last year and as of this month has 93 total links. Only 5 of those are reference links.)

notes and ideas i have written in my phone to transfer into docs so I can add them to the masterlist

Hero Forge digital models of those 8 main characters because I wanted to see what their group would look like outside of my imagination

Multiple Spotify playlists dedicated to this fic and the characters which I listen to every single day. (currently @ 494 songs)

And you know what? I just recently, at 6 am this morning, finally figured out the solution to a fucking plot hole I could not work around.

Basically what I'm saying is that I needed all of this time. Every single day I see things and get inspiration. Every day I learn new things and fix errors in my own plans.

As much as I crave the validation and recognition for all of my hard work on this project, I know that If I had just bit the bullet and posted the first chapter without having done all of this research and all of this planning, then it would not have lived up to the story I have in my head.

I admire people who can just write without all of the added steps and in some cases, I can do that. I haven't been able to in a while (which is why that Valentine's Day microfic was actually really big for me to have posted) but that's just how my brain works.

I needed all of my experiences and all of my daily thoughts and all of my collective playlists for this fic to be able to write the story I intended and that is exactly what I'm going to do.

(though if I'm being honest, this timeline is rough. I really want to just write and post this first chapter so so so bad. ToT)

#writing with adhd #fanfic author #writer #TAoRfOL #marauders fanfiction #jegulus #wolfstar #rosekiller #marylily #dorlene #the marauders #regulus black #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #peter pettigrew #lily evans #dorcas meadowes #barty crouch jr #do Peter and Benjy have a ship name??? #platonic moonwater

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

For me the worst part of ADHD are those moments when my brain just... doesn't.

I have to submit my homework before midnight (it's 10 PM here). It's 300 words. It's nothing hard, kind of shit I've been writing for the last 5 years. There are no stakes - if it turns out bad, that's okay. Worst case scenario I'll get 50% instead of 100% because this is one of those things I'm proficient at so my worst is at least average. I just need to submit anything. Just write additional 200 words. And yet I feel like I'd rather fucking die than do this. I will cry on the floor and complain online knowing well that I'll have the biggest regrets and sore ego later.

#adhd

[yuurivoice]

How have you been? Are you taking care of yourself and is the kitties doing okay and Haru how is the sweetie after the surgery?

Throughout the month of October while doubling my content output and going from being creatively idle to full speed ahead, I was going through the onboarding process of my ADHD medication. Half of the month was spent getting horribly tired in the afternoons. The other half was spent feeling gross as I tried to figure out how much I needed to eat with my food and adjusting to the final dosage.

Last week, for what may be the first time in my adult life, I was operating at what I can only assume was somewhere near 100% of what a neurotypical person feels like. I've cried about it, had to learn how to slow down because I'm used to the vehicle that is my brain not actually GOING when I put my foot on the gas, and have felt downright incredible.

I wrote my psychiatrist a message thanking her for being such a professional and helping me on this path, because I am approaching what I had assumed "best case scenario" would look like for me. I don't even know what's possible for me as I settle into my new normal. It's overwhelming in a positive way.

I feel like I have super powers. I'm able to just...do stuff. I begin my day and I just go. I'm fed, medicated, and ready to start being productive at 9am and I begin. I'm able to accomplish far more than the bare minimum and even have to tell myself to take time to do things that aren't strictly work.

I love writing again, and I was robbed of that nearly a decade ago. My beloved hobby became work, and while I've written things that I adore, I only rarely feel the magic I used to feel when I could write ~10k words in a day. INDEFINITELY!!!! I have written hundreds of thousands of words in my lifetime and I lost the ability to do what I loved. At a time in my life when I was desperate to find something that was meant for me, something I was good at, I lost it.

I thought I had simply fallen out of love. I thought my childish ambitions of being a writer were bled from me on the path to being a "real adult" and life had escorted me along the way, away from that passion.

I didn't know I was fighting against myself so much for so long. Being able to become YuuriVoice and create and find that outlet again was amazing for me and reminded me of what it used to feel like, but this whole time I've had to brute force my way through mental hurdles. I am proud of what I've accomplished to this point, knowing what challenges I've faced and battled along the way.

How do I feel? I feel like the me from a decade ago and the me of today bridged a rift so vast that I thought I'd never say hello to that part of me again, and now I'm whole. I feel whole. I'm no longer masquerading around as a cheap imitation of who I could have been.

So yeah, I'd say I'm doing well! So are the cats. Haru handled his neutering perfectly and is a happy, healthy boy. Aside from that, I've been consistently in the gym, trying to stick to my diet goals, and am the happiest, healthiest version of myself I've been in a long time!

If you've enjoyed the recent entries in Lost & Found, they've all be made while I've been feeling this good. So if that's a sign of things to come, I think we're about to remind people just how fuckin' hard we can go around these parts.

#yuurivoice

[lunathebee]

THE MOON BOYS WITH A ADHD S/O

A/n: I have no words to justify myself; I did not avoid this request, nor did I disrespect the anon who requested it. This is just the war between me and my really bad memory problem (and stacks of endless work). Thank god, my brain just randomly decided to remember this.

Warning: Like the title said, not everyone can relate to this HC, and if so, please don't throw hate or say "Steven would never do that" or "I think Marc hates it," etc. Please, my masterlist has plenty of HC for everyone; leave this one for the people who really need it, aye?

🍓 Steven Grant 🍓

There wouldn't be much of a problem, I think.

If you told him you have ADHD, Steven would be a bit surprised—not because you had it, but because it is something new to him.

Man spent hours reading books and conducting research to learn more about you.

And I swear at some point, he would find himself mumbling symptoms with wide eyes.

"...zoned out or some would talk really fast—wait, I do that."

I don't know why, but I always feel connected to Steven in a different way, like the way he acts isn't just for quirky scenes or to make the audience laugh.

I truly (with my whole heart and deepest respect) believe Steven is somewhere on the same side as you (not ADHD, but the chance of him having another condition that affects him is high).

So yeah, I think you guys would share some similar moments together.

Steven would help you with many things and is always so kind and nice.

He takes a special interest in your fidget toys, so he hopes you don't mind that.

🍓 Marc Spector 🍓

"What is that?"

You have to explain it to him.

"Oh...Oh...Okay...Um Uh huh"

So serious and focused, Marc loves you, so if there is something about you that he doesn't know yet, he will try his best to understand.

I don't think he would be bothered by it that much.

Always keep an eye out just in case you guys are in public and someone looks at you "weird."

He's one of those grandparents who says, "You used to LOVE this thing because you told me that when you were 5, so I bought you 2000 stuff of it even though you're now an adult."

Marc might be a bit confused, but he's got the spirit!

Your shirt doesn't feel "right?" Maybe a jacket would be better?

You're feeling overwhelmed by your homework?That's okay, let's take a break.

Overall, I would say Marc really tries his best to make everything around you guys more comfortable for you.

Marc = best lover <3

🍓 Jake Lockley 🍓

I won't lie to you; this is just my brutally honest opinion on Jake.

At first, he would get bothered by it and might even be annoyed on some days.

Jake doesn't understand why and how on earth you can't make a decision on picking anything, or how you always say you're going to do this thing and then completely forget about it 15 minutes later.

But he has more important things to deal with, so he doesn't show that he's bothered by them.

"Bae! Why don't you throw the empty toothpaste away?" Jake asked one night

"I'm so sorry, I keep forgetting about that. Sorry, babe, I'm sorry."

Jake decided to let it go; it was just toothpaste, right? What is the big deal?

And then later on, he noticed you lingering in the bathroom a bit longer, how you always touch the toothpaste to make sure it's not empty, and how you also DOUBLE check that.

Everything turns into a big mess when Jake sees you having a breakdown from your trip to the supermarket.

When you tell him you went there to buy toothpaste but forgot, and when you DID remember, you can't remember if the tube is empty or full despite checking almost every day, his heart breaks.

Jake would hold you and comfort you, feeling guilty that he was the one causing you so much distress.

After that, he will have a totally different view of you and your chronic condition.

Jake will just silently do his job if he ever sees you forgetting something or leaving something randomly on the kitchen table.

He listens to you talk about 50 hobbies and plenty more.

Jake learns how to adapt just fine; your condition doesn't define you; you're his lover, not a burden.

#steven grant x y/n #steven grant x reader #steven grant x you #marc spector x y/n #marc spector x reader #marc spector x you #jake lockley x y/n #jake lockley x reader #jake lockley x you #moon knight imagine #moon knight x reader #moon knight headcanon #moon knight fic #the moon boys #the moon boys x reader

[jellogram]

WRITING TIPS FOR PEOPLE WITH ADHD

You guys liked my other post with writing tips, so I thought I'd make a list for this too. I have ADHD combined type and I've written two novels and dozens of short stories, so here is what works for me!

If you have meds, take them a while before you start working and do something else. I like to play dress up games while I wait for them to kick in, because it's creative enough to wake up my brain. Doll Divine has really cool and artistic games. Only use activities that have clear end points so it's easier to stop when your meds have kicked in. Stay away from open world games or anything with an endless scroll.

Have special locations that you only use to write. Make sure you bring a flannel or jacket in case the AC is too cold, and bring headphones in case there's noises there. Try several different places until you find something comfortable. I like casual spaces where there's nooks and comfy chairs. Coffee shops are my go-to.

If you can't leave the house, sit in a particular spot in your room and make that your writing spot. Only sit in that spot when you're writing.

Speaking of headphones, rainymood.com is my go-to for drowning out noise. Usually I like background chatter, but if there's a buzzing fan or someone talking too loud on the phone, this site helps.

Start by re-reading what you wrote last time and making small edits. You might have to read it a few times before you can pay attention and that's okay. Just keep re-reading and making edits as you notice them until you feel more in the zone.

If you are at home, take breaks to put on music and jump around. I like Latin music for this purpose. If you're in public, try just walking around the building a couple times.

If I really can't get into it, for some reason it helps to take a break and make some tea. Green tea with ginger is calming enough to help me focus while also having a little boost of caffeine.

If you notice big changes need to be made and you can't relax until you deal with it but know it would take ages to fix, put it in a comment and move on.

If you want to get a big distracting section out of your way without totally deleting it, you can use a separate doc and copy paste it in there. Or download the SideNote add-on for Google docs.

Set reminders on your phone to eat and go to the bathroom in case you get too hyperfocused. I've forgotten to eat for entire days because I was writing, so it's good to have a back-up in case you go down the rabbit hole.

If you start getting really frustrated that you can't focus and you feel like you want to scream, take a break. Get a snack. Play sudoku. Make some coffee or tea. Sit outside. Be wary of checking your phone though, because it's easy to get wrapped up in that.

I tend to put all my usual fidget toys somewhere I can't get to them when I'm writing, because I find that if I pick one up to think, I can't put it back down to start typing. Everyone is different but look out for that and if you find them distracting you, set them aside.

Consider turning off your phone. If that's not an option, a lot of phones have a wellness feature that allows you to set app timers or turn your screen black and white. Consider setting your phone to go into wellness mode when it's time to write so it's less tempting.

Lastly, there are going to be days when it just doesn't work. Even with my meds, I sometimes just spend three hours beating my head against a wall and then go home. It's okay. Creative work is hard for anyone, especially when you're fighting your ADHD every step of the way. Don't beat yourself up and don't let it discourage you. Even if you didn't put anything down, you still spent some time thinking about writing, and that's worth something. Try again the next day and the day after and you'll get it eventually. The flow state is worth trying for.

Update: bolded some important items for accessibility

#writing #writing tips #writing help #writers #adhd #writing with adhd #adhd study tips #adhd studyblr #tips for writers #writeblr #studyblr

[system-of-a-feather]

Another one of those "passing on the notes I learned from my years of therapy and recovery for those to consider as perhaps a cheat code to not learn it in the long and hard way I did" but one of the things that helps the most to unlearn / learn in recovery is that not everything is pathological and not everything pathological has to be "fixed"

The former is simply saying that not every trait and aspect about you has to come from or be sorted into originating from one of your conditions. Sure, maybe something you do is a bit odd and it could be explained by trauma or neurodivergence, but it also just might be a genuine personality quirk and its fine. It doesn't have to be sweated over or looked at in a lens of a mental / medical condition.

As for the latter, the obvious case of this is autism and ADHD - a lot of the traits in those are "pathological" in the sense that they are considered to be specifically due to having a disorder, but a large number of those "pathological" symptoms (like excessive stimming and having intense interests) on their own really don't inherently need to be fixed.

But the other thing is that some pathological trauma behaviors and symptoms can clearly originate from your traumatic childhood and be something that "no normal person would think / do / behave like" and assuming that extreme statement is true, just because a trait / behavior / aspect of how you live developed due to trauma, doesn't mean it has to change. A trait and behavior can be pathological in that sense and - if its not really hurting anyone and if it can be adapted well into your life - it doesn't have to be a problem. Some pathological trauma-developed aspects of your life are deeply intertwined with how you grew up (much like non-trauma aspects) and sometimes they just aren't worth digging up and doing all the processing to 'fix'. This is especially so for the aspects of yourself that developed due to trauma that are semi or even usually adaptive.

You can have behaviors, traits, and views that obviously developed from your past with trauma AND still keep those in your life AND be happy.

I'm mostly saying this because I am once again reflecting on just how much of our life is pretty intense and wild due to the fact that I - a part that was originally meant to be an imaginary friend and fantasy-orientated escapism and source of hope - became host. A lot of how I experience myself and my relationship with the world is weird and there are a lot of experiences I just don't really have in me to process in a "typical" way.

I'd say that there are probably parts that used to be prone to processing the things I can't, but after so many years our systems become structured to support the quirks I have and I think our brain at this point just doesn't really find the demand or interest to restore those aspects for any near-future reason as it largely still serves us.

At some point, maybe we will target them. Maybe they will become more harmful and/or limiting than helpful, but these traits both work for us, work for those around us, and help us and just all in all work very well for us. Yes they are pathological, but not everything pathological has to go.

On top of that, the idea that all pathology has to be fixed and cured to be happy really just isn't true and honestly just stems from a place of pushing this concept of "normal" which.... who the hell supports the narrative and concept of "normal" in 2024 on tumblr dot com

It's okay to be disabled, disordered, neurodivergent, affected long term by trauma, and / or just straight up weird.

Fix what doesn't work in your life, everything else doesn't have to be sweated over.

#alter: riku #recovery #ptsd #c-ptsd #cptsd #c ptsd #healing #trauma #actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder

[iraprince]

hi idk if this is a weird question but like. how do u Make Art with adhd? you mentioned in your comic that you struggled w various other creative hobbies, but like drawing feels to me always like the Big Bad Thing I Cannot Ever do. even tho i want to make it my career LOL

how'd you get past that?

not a weird question at all! this is actually a question i ask myself pretty much every day, bc generally my answer to "how do i make art with adhd" has always been: With Great Difficulty, lmfao.

it's hard! i am not always good at it! i made art my job bc i realistically couldn't imagine being truly happy with anything else; if that wasn't the case, i'm not sure i would be doing this. like, that ends up being a big divide between the hobbies mentioned in that comic vs art, which is something that it seems (according to viewing my online activity) i do "Consistently;" it is my career, so there's a level of like, urgency and necessity there that my hobbies don't have. which, like, obviously my advice is not "make it your job so that you HAVE to OR ELSE :)" because it doesn't work like that. i am spending an amount of time OR-ELSE-ing that i think might surprise ppl, and i am frankly very lucky that my wife is the primary provider for our family, because it gives me a safety net for when my brain makes a loud grinding noise and then belches a big cloud of smoke and i have to spend a week hitting it with a wrench.

ANYWAY. this is going to get long bc i have a lot of thoughts abt it. there's really no one answer to getting past it, and i am not "past it," i don't know if i think anyone ever can be! we can just try really hard to keep going in ways that won't burn us out. if i had to pull out the absolute #1 most important thing i've learned over the past few years, it is -- and i know this sounds like dumb corny bullshit but you really have to stay with me here -- being kind and patient with yourself.

i'm being so dead serious. if beating yourself up and freaking out and constantly agonizing over how much more you Could be drawing worked, you would be drawing right now. if beating ourselves up over our output worked, EVERYONE would be drawing ALL the time. it doesn't fucking work! it does not! do literally anything other than yelling at yourself. it's bullshit. it's fuckery. it does not work.

on the other hand, cultivating as much kindness and patience and compassion as i can muster -- saying, "well, it looks like i just don't have it today. that's okay, let's try again tomorrow," even if i'm saying it through clenched teeth and i don't really believe it -- THAT works, because it chips away at the idea of drawing being life or death. it's probably a very similar feeling to you describing art as The Big Bad Thing. of course if you hang all your self worth on it and let it become immense and dominating, it's going to be hard to interact with it! it's scary! it becomes easier to avoid it than to try to tackle it and then feel disappointed in yourself in a more active way (vs. just disappointed in yet another day where u didn't try). but every time i sigh and say "okay" when my brain is screaming and crying bc art just is not working, and i decide to rest and try again tomorrow, 1. it is easier to do a little bit of work the next day when i'm rested than it is to do ANY work when i chain myself to my desk for 9 hours and demand results, and 2. i learn that it is not the end of the world. it just isn't. and so art gets smaller, and less frightening, and it can just be my job (something i have to wrangle my adhd around just like anything else, like grocery shopping and keeping the house clean and keeping up with my friends) instead of some huge destructive boss battle with my identity hanging in the balance.

sometimes you have to talk to yourself like a little kid. if a little kid came to you upset and was like "i wanna draw but i just can't. i don't know why." you would (hopefully) not be like, "whatever, i guess you're just not cut out for it then!" or whatever other mean shit we say to ourselves when we can't draw. you would be like, "well, okay. do you want me to sit with you? how do we start? where's some stuff we can draw with? hm, i can't really think of what to draw either. did you see anything pretty or cool today? let's just draw some shapes." etc etc. and if the kid got frustrated and it still wasn't working you'd be like, you know what, that was a good try. let's have some lunch and try again later. and you deserve that same level of patience, and that level of CURIOUS problem-solving ("what can we try? what might be easier?") instead of, like, adversarial/blame-assigning problem solving ("what the fuck is the matter with you? why can't you just do it?")

also, shaking things up!! one of the most frustrating things abt adhd for me is i'll find a new strategy that Works, but it only works for like, two weeks or whatever, and then it stops working and i have to do something else. i have had a way better time just accepting that that's how things work vs thinking of these cycles as "failures."

if i start dreading working at my desk, i throw a block of printer paper onto a clip board and work on the couch for a few weeks. when that stops working, i get back on drawpile and do all my warmup sketches on an interactive canvas, with strangers around me (virtual coffeeshop lol?). when i get tired of that, then maybe i'm ready to be alone with clip studio again. nope, still not working? okay, let's stream while i'm working for a while then. let's start drawing differently. let's change the background color i draw on. just, like, i keep shaking things up to see if maybe i can trick my brain into feeling like we're doing something totally new for a while, and a lot of the times it works, and when it does not work i am not an asshole to myself, which is, as i keep reiterating, super vital.

when i make the most art is when i get super excited about something and i let myself go apeshit. (there's a reason my guild wars 2 stuff is corralled on a sideblog lmao.) when commissions start grinding to a halt for me, a lot of times it's bc i've let them become Tasks on a to-do list instead of remembering that each piece is a DRAWING; it can help for me to sit down and go through each piece in my queue and really look at it, and remind myself that these are DRAWINGS and i LOVE drawing, and to point out to myself stuff in the wip that i like, and stuff i'm excited to draw the next time i work on it. it's very easy to flatten stuff into just An Obligation if you stress too much about it, but it's very helpful to slow down and step back and remind yourself WHY you care that much. it's not just bc you have to.

i don't really want this to get much longer than it already is, especially when i don't really have concrete tips so much as rambling opinions and examples of stuff that Kind Of works for me Sometimes. i think the tldr is: relax, be nice, keep it fresh. i hope at least some of this is helpful!

#ira answers

[thebibliosphere]

JOY!! Im currently doing my MA in costume design and I wanted to check if it was okay with you for me to use Phangs as a hypothetical case study?

Basically I also have POTS, hEDS, ADHD and chronic migraines (and a bajillion other things), and I'm really interested in designing for disabled characters! I know my disabilities affect the way i dress in so many ways and disabled characters are often seen as such an afterthought, but i feel like especially in a fantasy setting theres just SO much room to do some really cool stuff, especially re: disability aids!

I hope this made sense, the brain fog is terrible today, but Nathan and Vlad just mean so much to me and I'd love your blessing to design them some badass costumes for my personal project this term <33

Oh, hell yeah. Absolutely, go forth with my full blessing and eagerness to see what you come up with if you do.

That sounds hella interesting. I hope your brain fog lifts soon. From one brain-fogged spoonie to another <33

[copperbadge]

hi, I just came across your grocery post on how your ADHD task coping mechanisms don’t align with performing the task while medicated. Do you have any thoughts/advice for adjusting to doing work/job tasks when your previous coping mechanisms don’t work while medicated? As someone who was diagnosed after I finished undergrad, my coping mechanisms for finishing schoolwork tasks are to intentionally trigger RSD to trick my brain into making the consequence of failing the task greater than my executive dysfunction. This is 1) not healthy for me and 2) difficult because Adderall softens my RSD and emotional dysregulation. So where unmedicated I would panic and make an entire presentation the night before it was due, my medicated self sits there anxious the night before my work presentation but still incapable of starting the work. I’d love to hear your ideas on this if you have a moment (no worries if not, have a great day either way)

I hope it's okay I posted this! My readership may also be able to offer suggestions. (Readers, remember to comment or reblog, as I don't post asks sent in response to other asks!)

So, as the kids say there's a bit to unpack here...I do have some coping mechanisms to offer, although I have a strong policy of "do what works for you" so if these aren't helpful, please don't feel as if you've somehow failed -- these are just what works for me. If they don't work for you, that may be a good jumping-off point for thinking about what would, but they simply won’t work for everyone. 

First, I want to say that while I'm not a psychiatrist or a doctor, it sounds like it's possibly an issue with the medication. If it's working well enough to help with your RSD but not well enough to help with the action paralysis you're describing, it could be you're on the wrong medication or the wrong dosage of it. So above all I would strongly recommend talking about this with your prescriber to see what they say. This may be as simple as a tweak to your prescription. My psych has me on 10mg immediate release at 8am and 1pm, but after discussing the rhythm of my day he has also given me permission to occasionally take 20mg at 8 and no second dose. 20mg is an option if I’m tired or struggling and gives me a little extra push to get stuff started and/or completed, and it helps a great deal, but it’s not always needed. 

As for solutions to the actual issue...so, I know that with ADHD it's often the case that once you start something, you may be able to focus deeply on it and bang it out very quickly, like you have been doing. Also can I say, using the RSD to kickstart the executive function is a wonderfully imaginative workaround but sounds super unpleasant to do, so I'm sorry you've had to do that. Anyway, I think people who are capable of doing this, of kicking into action and completing a very complicated task all at once, tend to think that's the only possible way to do it, because it’s the only way that has worked in the past. So I have two suggestions.

The first is to try and reframe the project as something you can work on before the last minute, now that you have medication helping your executive function along. You can try, for example, saying “I’d like to get some work done on this thing that’s due a week from now” and just see how far you get. This can be tricky and can lead to a lot of guilt if you can’t manage it, which I want to stress a lot of people can’t. But if you are capable of saying to yourself “I’m just going to work on this a little”, every time you do that, it gets slightly easier because you know you’re not starting from the beginning. I have sometimes set alarms to be like “Okay, I’ll take my meds at 9:30. At 10am, as they’re kicking in, the alarm will go off and I’ll work on the project a bit.” It could be that you are now capable of spreading the work out over time, but you haven’t been doing that simply because you’re so accustomed to being unable to. 

In some sense it’s a matter of identifying what the medication does for you and adjusting that to help you in your life. ADHD meds can have varying effects -- they can help you start stuff, they can help you focus, they can keep you from running around full of excess energy, but they don’t always do everything for every person. So if you know that your meds help you focus but don’t necessarily help you start on something, maybe you need someone to body-mirror you to help get started. If the meds calm you down, maybe use the calm time to set up your workspace and arrange everything so that it’s easier to get started later. Identify the changes the meds make and try to strategize around those changes. Like how without meds at the grocery store I have trouble finding things, whereas with meds I tend to get stalled out taking in all the information. So maybe I need to be at the tail end of a dosage period when I go, or maybe I need to make a list that includes BRANDS so that I’m not label-comparing, and tell myself I will not browse. Or give myself extra time so I can do those things! 

The second suggestion may be more helpful, but it too involves doing preliminary work early on. This is one I do when I have something I’m not feeling confident about, but you can do it about anything even if you WANT to do it but can’t seem to get going. 

As early as you can, set up some time to sit down and make a list of all the granular parts of a project, rather than doing the project itself. This isn't universal, some people stress out about lists, but it can ease the path towards starting if you think you don't have to do "a project" all at once. If you're making a power point presentation, your list may be something like

Open Powerpoint. Open prompt for presentation. Open research website or get out research books. Read research (just one!). Read research (another). Repeat until finished. Review and develop ideas for the presentation. Make an outline for what the presentation should be. Pick out a template for the slides. Begin entering text into slides.

Et cetera. I've found, and you may too, that once you've started making the list, or once you've gotten to step 3 or 4 of actually doing the list, you're on a roll and the rest comes naturally. Like, I can't do this fucking project! But....well, okay, I am capable of just....opening powerpoint. And once I've done that I can start knocking down the rest, a little at a time. I think it is very hard for people with ADHD to learn how to segment out work that they feel “goes together” over time, like we are always under the impression we have to do The Whole Thing Right Now. Learning to orchestrate smaller steps, with the help of medication, is one way to spread the work out. 

But yeah -- all of this is predicated on the idea that the medication can help you get started and focus enough to keep going. If it can’t do that, then the problem is not with you but with your meds. Learning how to observe your medications’ effects, and learning how to use those to your advantage, will be more helpful than any tips or tricks I can provide, in any case, but making sure they’re actually doing the job is first and foremost. 

#sam has adhd #blurple-m