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#i'm really just saying shit and not bothering with any kind of coherence lmao
haedraulics · 1 year
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Can I ask you a question? Do you have any unpopular aot opinions?
i'm not exactly sure if this is considered unpopular since i've seen my take reflected by more professional critics than me, but the ending of the mange is a huge disappointment. i'm not even one of those people who think isayama was coerced by the fans or his editors to compromise on his original vision, i think the ending as it is is more or less what he had planned for the entirety of the series, which is unfortunate because it's not very good.
i do think that isayama was feeling a lot of pressure and deserved many more breaks/hiatuses between chapter releases, but as it is the aot ending is an indecisive mess of storytelling. what bothers me the most about it at this point is the tone of disney-esque optimism in the final pages (before the additions) that is just unbelievably bizarre, considering the magnitude of eren's crime against humanity. the most charitable reading of the 104 is that they're just too stupid to comprehend what they lived through, but even that is probably too kind.
at the end of the day i think the ending suffers the most because isayama wanted it both ways: he wanted to depict the horrors of global genocide with as much lurid, brutal detail as he could (chapters 130 onward), but also retain sympathy for eren as a deeply flawed but ultimately good-willed protagonist. it doesn't really work. the rumbling is a product of eren's naivete as a character- it was not a necessary evil, and portraying it as such emboldens the worst parts of the aot fandom.
that's not even to say that his type of character has never been done well, in terms of 'guys who become genocidal because they experienced too much racism', characters like erik killmonger are much more effective because they garner sympathy while still being 100% unambiguous antagonists. and besides that, killmonger at least had a coherent ideology and plan of action. i mean, even if eren did annihilate the rest of the world, did his idea of freedom include reforming paradis' military dictatorship to ensure greater civil liberties for everyone on the island? what about freedom from labour exploitation? freedom from hunger? freedom of travel? freedom of press? does he actually give a shit about freedom, or is it just vibes to him? my guess is it's probably the latter, considering that he never changed much from his intelligence rating of 3/10.
but anyway, i'm sure this isn't that unpopular of an opinion for people who've read or watched more things beside shounen anime LMAO
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kuiinncedes · 3 years
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i want to go to sleep but i also really don’t lmao so i’m still sitting here at the restaurant
also i’m gonna take a break from tumblr bc i’m on here too much and it’s not good lmao 🤪 i might/will probably come on tomorrow lol (and if i do i’ll make another post??? idk) but then i’m gonna try to avoidddd until my semester is over at the end of april 😗✌️ (honestly idk how well that’s gonna go lmao but we’ll see 😂😭)
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Season 3 notes popping off
due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.
ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?
ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.
ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.
ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes
ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.
ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.
ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.
ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.
ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.
ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.
ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.
ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.
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ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.
Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.
Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?
ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?
ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.
ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!
ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?
ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again
110: who wants to bet its a leitner?
111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.
112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...
113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough
114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?
115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?
116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.
117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.
118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.
119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!
120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.
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ajokeformur-ray · 4 years
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So... how about a empathetic reader who works in the same hospital that Arthur is at the end of the movie? Like, she is the lastest one who takes care of him, or something like that. Pretty please? And, can it have like kisses and fluff stuff? I'M WEAR FOR ARTHUR FLECK.
Swearing, complete inaccuracies with the legal system (creative license is my excuse and I’m sticking to it but if the lack of policies in this Arkham piece will bother you (like undoing his handcuffs because they’re hurting him, bringing food in for him, kissing him etc, I’d advise skipping it sksksks), Arthur smokes, SPOILERS and I think that’s it. I’m not sure if this is relevant but just in case - the reader has a flexible morality and some parts of the narrative are questionable. This is intentional. Also - the staff and hospital is described as being a total shit show because it’s what works for this piece sksksks I took a lot of liberties with this one lmao.
Also, as always, I teared up at this GIF. He’s so beautiful and so hurt and most of the film could have been avoided if someone had just hugged him ohhh :(((
Word count: 2, 638.
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“Oh, here, Arthur,” You leaned across the cold metal table with your lighter, cupping a hand in the air underneath the tobacco end of the cigarette, which was already dangling from Arthur’s thin lips, “Let me get that for you.” You lit it easily, your hands steadier than you had thought that they would be. Immediately did Arthur’s lips purse as he took a long deep drag of the cigarette; his hypnotic green eyes closing in relief at that first hit of nicotine. 
It was close to three in the afternoon and you were the only staff member in the whole of Arkham State Hospital who was nice to Arthur. Everyone else treated him the way that he was used to - like he was a freak, a disease, someone to be watched and not extended a single modicum of kindness. But you… you had been warned away from ‘that one’. All you had seen upon first meeting Arthur was a man broken down by the world, a man who had said fuck the world and given into his impulses, his truest self, when he could no longer stand how the world had treated him and if you were being honest with yourself, you couldn’t deny that his motives behind the murder of public figure Murray Franklin made sense to you. He had been publicly humiliated and scorned and in a fit of rage had he finally expressed all that had been against him from the very start. You had read his case file extensively after being told to avoid him by almost everyone - staff members and patients alike (the more coherent ones, at least) - and you had come to one decision after a few weeks of fighting against yourself:
You were going to be kind to Arthur Fleck.
You hadn’t told anyone about your decision. It wasn’t because you were afraid of what people would think of you, but it was because you didn’t care about their opinions. None of them had bothered to try to understand him, whereas you were going to be kind to Arthur because he intrigued you; you were a naturally empathetic person and you had a soft spot for the slightly damaged and the broken. You couldn’t watch a film if animals were harmed in it; even obviously animated animals getting hurt made you cry in horror and disgust. You couldn’t handle the sight of pain in others and to see so much of it in one case file and to then be presented with the man himself walking hunched into his own body; his shoulders curved inwards, his head down, his feet shuffling instead of his taking proper steps was just too much for you to take. You had cried over a good eighty percent of his case file, your heart breaking for this one man. Never had you felt such a strong undeniable urge to protect someone before. You lamented the fact that you hadn’t met him before this day; surely if you had, this whole thing could have been avoided. It was like Arthur was apologising for his own existence in the way that he tried to occupy as little physical space as possible. To see the evidence of Arthur’s life in one manilla file and to then meet the man himself had been all the information you had needed to decide that people were wrong about him. He had done bad things, this was true, and you took great care to remind yourself of the fact that this man had brutally murdered people, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to ostracise him for it. What he had done wasn’t excusable and you couldn’t condone his actions even to yourself, but his descent was explainable.
So sure of your decision had you chucked yourself down the rabbit hole head first without even considering the implications on your continued employment at Arkham State Hospital if anyone came to learn of your affections for Arthur. You took on sole responsibility of his case, you bought him quality cigarettes with your own money, you bought him in food that you had made yourself… You told no one of these things, of the little ways in which you tried your best to take care of him despite all he had done to wind up here. Once that white door had closed upon you and Arthur for his daily therapy sessions were you granted privacy with each other. You recorded your conversations but the two of you had learned to read each other relatively quickly and as such, those moments where the verbal conversation lulled to a temporary halt were moments in which you had a discussion with your eyes, your hand reaching across the table to touch the back of his. You were careful to unlock Arthur’s handcuffs much of the time so that the chains didn’t clink against the cold metal table; though the metal bracelets were still secured around his wrists, you separated him from the chain so he had some freedom of movement in these sessions. Having spent much of his childhood being chained to radiators and the like, you were sure that his trauma would be triggered by being restrained to a table. You helped Arthur in any way you could and before you knew it, months had gone by and you were well and truly caught in the spider’s web.
Arthur pulled the cigarette away from his mouth and tilted his head up towards the ceiling to exhale; the wispy tendrils of smoke curling gently before they dissipated in the cool air of the impersonal, stark room. “Thank you.” The words were quietly spoken and your trained ears picked up on a soft note of gratitude as he allowed some emotions to creep into his voice. You smiled by way of saying ‘you’re welcome’ and distracted yourself while you willed yourself not to blush by opening the daily used case file which was thicker now with therapy sessions shoved in the back. The notes were all loose leaf and you despaired at the lack of care being shown towards Arthur. What was the point of keeping him here if no one was going to take their government appointed responsibility seriously? The head of Arkham may as well have let Arthur out for all the good the establishment was doing for him. 
“Have you eaten lunch?”
“No,” A sigh. His lack of elaboration in answer to your raised eyebrow had told you everything that you needed to know - he had either not been hungry at the time or he had been denied a meal. You cared little for what the reason was so long as he could eat now. Arthur took another drag on his cigarette, a quicker one this time, and he turned his head upwards once more to exhale; he was considerate of your distaste for his smoking and showed his gratitude in your supplying him with cigarettes despite your personal views on the habit by showing you great courtesy when he did smoke in front of you. You couldn’t have denied him this one vice if you had tried - goodness knew how mad you would go if you couldn’t have your own fix every day. 
You reached under the table with one hand, keeping your eyes on Arthur’s as you fumbled in your bag and pulled out a Tupperware box. The box was see through and you saw a light come into Arthur’s eyes which had nothing to do with the harsh overheads which could have used a gentler light bulb; for all the patients here which struggled with over stimulation and light sensitivity, staff showed little concern. Gotham was a total shit show and you hated everything about the suffocating place. It seemed that, even though Arkham State Hospital was on the outskirts of Gotham, it was still susceptible to the same toxins which circulated throughout the city. You set the box down, pushing it towards Arthur, and moved to separate his handcuffs from the chain. Your gaze, which was still holding his, very clearly said, you know the rules and he nodded once slowly, a smirk on his face, to show his understanding. 
You were the only staff member Arthur would ‘behave’ for and often were you called in at odd hours off the clock to ‘sort the fucking clown out’. You didn’t mind, not really. You had gained some strange reputation in Arkham and even the meaner patients, the ones who were especially volatile and unpredictable, left you alone. It hadn’t taken you long to figure out that Arthur had given you some kind of honourary protection in your taking on his case, though you suspected that it was more the way you treated him which had granted you this unofficial protection, and less to do with the fact that you had his case file.
Arthur peered into the box and looked sharply back up at you. “How did you know that this was my favourite food?”
You smiled and shrugged. “I pay attention. Eat. You must be starving.” You pushed plastic cutlery his way - you couldn’t get proper utensils past security no matter what you said to them - and leaned back in your chair, glancing over the therapy notes from yesterday with curiosity. You used the notes to hide the way your eyes were fixed on Arthur’s face. You were far too invested in him for your own good and though you knew it couldn’t end well, you were determined to see it through to the very end, come what may.
At the first hesitant bite did Arthur’s eyes flutter closed as he chewed and you smiled. “Good?”
“So good,” He took a second, bigger bite and your smile widened as affection bloomed in your chest.
Silence fell once more as Arthur ate, punctuating his bites with drags on his cigarette, which was almost down to the filter now. He coughed lightly at one point and though he hadn’t said anything, you hadn’t needed him to as you reached into your bag, unscrewed the cap top and put the plastic bottle of water in front of Arthur. 
Half of his food was left in the tub as he looked at the water. There was something in his eyes which you were having trouble reading.
“What is it, lo - Arthur?” You had almost slipped up, called him love and the way Arthur smirked up at you briefly before he looked back to the water told you that he had noticed your near mistake. There was no denying it if he ever decided to call you out on what you had just almost said. You knew even without really thinking about it that you wouldn’t deny anything he accused you of in this vein; all of it was true. All of it.
“You’re always so kind to me,” He frowned down at the table, nimble fingers plucking at the chain you had released him from so that he could eat without having to sit uncomfortably. 
“Well, yeah, it’s my job. I took an oath to care for - “
Staring off into space, his cigarette burnt out now, the end smouldering but still lightly held between his nicotine stained fingers, did Arthur shake his head. “No,” He interrupted you, “This is more than an oath of care.” He turned his head to meet your eyes full on and with a cocky smirk tugging at the edges of his mouth did he say, “You better be careful.”
Anger rose quickly and you almost said something but then you caught another hint of some emotion flash through his eyes, like a trick of the light did he school his facial expressions so fast. You saw a desperate pleading, you saw… you saw need. Arthur wasn’t warning or threatening you, he was asking you to be careful. If you both got caught, if you got found out on supplying a patient with food made outside the premises or buying and lighting him cigarettes - which were allowed within the hospital but only a specific brand not available to the public domain - if you got caught letting him out of the chains just so he could move a little freer, if you got caught having personal conversations with him, it’d all be over. You’d be taken off the case, more than likely dismissed or fired or transferred elsewhere, and you would never see Arthur again. He would lose the only good in his life - a secret though it was, it was his good. 
In short, Arthur watched as you saw through his mask, through his cryptic statements, You saw him and he felt an unfamiliar heat blooming in his chest. So closely was he staring at you that he saw the precise moment of understanding dawn on your face and he smirked with pride. He could always count on you to understand.
In the end, you didn’t answer him verbally. You held a cigarette out to him, the filter facing him, and you held his green oceans as he parted his lips and allowed you to place the filter between them. You lit the cigarette with a slight shake to your hand and Arthur moved somewhat awkwardly to rest his hand over yours, the lighter firm in your grip.
“Thank you.” He wasn’t just thanking you for the cigarettes and you both knew it.
“You’re welcome.” You smiled and Arthur felt an urge to kiss you. He followed it and used his grip on you to pull you down to his eye level. You gasped, shocked by the sudden movement; your heart began to pound but you weren’t afraid. “Arthur, what - “
“Shshsh, I’m not going to hurt you.” He smirked, the expression at complete odds with how softly he had reassured you in that same moment, and took the cigarette from his mouth, tilting his head and upper body backwards using the back of the metal chair to exhale, keeping the toxins as far from you as he could given how closely you were now. You were leaning over the table, your belt buckle pressed against your stomach, your face close to Arthur’s. “I’m going to kiss you. Is that okay?”
The look in his eyes told you that he was serious about kissing you but if you didn’t want to, he wouldn’t make you. He would just never ask you for anything like this again. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity for him; never again would anybody see him and care for him the way that you did.
“Okay.” A breathy exhale and Arthur smiled. It was a real, genuine smile and you felt your own lips quirking upwards in reply. You met in the middle, neither of you consciously moving, and your lips barely grazed each other’s. He kissed you so slowly, so slowly, that it made your heart bleed for him. He had a big heart, this you had come to know, and as you pulled away from him with the desperate need for oxygen did you meet his eyes again. His eyes roamed about your face as if he was desperately trying to memorise your face in this moment and that look in your eyes. “How about we get you out of here, hm?”
A look of confusion, a startled laugh, and Arthur nodded his head in agreement. Yes. It was high time that the Crown Prince of Gotham got back to work. The city needed him, after all, and he needed you. It would take weeks of careful planning, an elaborate distraction and a getaway car with a willing driver to get him out of Arkham, but he was a Joker and you were the ace up his sleeve.
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