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#i'm so conflicted fuck
hilacopter · 2 months
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it's the way american leftists will insist on separating themselves from their government because, you know, a single governing force does not represent an entire country full of people with differing opinions. and then they absolutely refuse to apply that logic to non-western countries.
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seasonofprophecy · 8 months
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I cannot wait to see Simon struggle with resisting the pull of the crown and beating himself up over his urge to relapse into its influence and let its power carry him away to the point where he loses himself and I cannot wait to see his moments of lucidity where he's disgusted at himself for ever having ceded himself to the crown and I cannot wait to see his following moments of confusion where he's appalled at the notion of ever being away from the crown and I cannot wait to see how his fate as the Ice King in the Adventure Time canon is interwoven into this back and forth and I cannot wait to let the Fionna and Cake creative team ruin me with the concepts of cycles and fate and resistance to cycles and faith and whether or not such resistance is futile or fruitful
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Also can't wait to see the godawful repercussions of having a skinny Ice King on screen
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sophiethewitch1 · 1 month
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we've read about dick and tim being pathetic, but I wanna know the strange, stoic way Damian would be pathetic for reader if you're up for it :) I love your writing!!!
Points at camera like I'm on a gameshow! You, dear reader are lucky you came to the right blog!!!
So, we all know what cats are like when they like someone, right?? Just, following them around constantly. They don't want pets, they don't want to get picked up, they just want to watch you from a distance of five to twenty feet. Anyway, that's Damian!
He's in love with you, he needs you, he wants to keep you, but he has his pride!! Well, for a while at least. He's clingy, of course but he just... pretends he isn't?? It doesn't really work after the first few times. Pressing kisses to your forehead and holding your hand. And he'll do it while he's glaring at you.
Now, if you break up with him or reject him, you are going to see true brattiness. Monstrously bratty. How dare you? How dare you think you can leave him, reject him? He's the heir to the Al Ghul and Wayne dynasties. He gives you everything. And you don't accept it?
...Okay, you thought he'd stomp off after that. He's not leaving?? He's just... sitting outside your house...?? Why the hell is he glaring at you through your window???? It's not your fault????? Damian, however, is absolutely certain it is your fault. He will sit there through rain and snow, deliver you gifts and takeout, and wait sadly and grumpily till you take him back. And I thought he was impatient!
Unfortunately, while you saw him as a cat, he thought the same with you. While you see him as tame, he thinks of you as some wild alley cat that needs to be caught for it's own good. He just needs to slowly acclimate you to him and you guys will be right as rain. Maybe some treats will make you like him more? He'll figure it out, that he's confident of. Don't tell him he's being silly, you will just make things worse.
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hellishfig · 1 month
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just finished www #23: on your way, and i have many thoughts. all of them make me want to cry.
ame knowing as soon as she got back to the cottage that her actions had burned a bridge, not just with the citadel but with one of her best friends, and yet still needing to complete her tasks as the witch of the world's heart. the spirits she awakens so as not to leave the cottage untended or unprotected, and the way she asks and does not take. the note she leaves, should her friends make it there.
eursulon in the fire, followed by the man in black, who is a brother in the way all spirits are brethren, but not the sibling eursulon seeks. leaving through the burrow, fighting monstrosities, and seeing the citadel raze cities to ruin beside a jungle of rot. finding the tree. his tree. the tree that is emblazoned on his shield, his coat of arms, what he fights to protect. and inside... his sister. a family she made for herself.
and suvi. hurt but still afraid that ame will die if she stays. determined to not let that happen. conversations with steel where she says that another wizard said that the wizard sly lied, or did not tell the full truth. commiseration, but suvi holds back the full truth, and suspects steel of doing the same. an airship to fly north. to protect ame, yes. but the mage armor mean that no creature or spirit or witch will ever be able to touch her again. broken trust, if not broken love.
and through it all, the thread that the citadel represents a threat to the world's heart itself, and to all spirits beyond. the council of elders wishes to neutralize that threat. grandmother wren did not.
questions moving forward: what is the true purpose of the war on gaothmai being waged by the empire? why does kalaya's family look like suvi? is suvi going to have a villain arc? i have my theories, but i'll get into those in other posts.
thank you to the worlds beyond number cast and crew for giving us this incredible story. i'm so excited to see where you take us next.
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ethaninthewilde · 5 months
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[to myself] you are allowed to use mobility aids. you are allowed to use sensory aids. you are allowed to use mobility aids. you are allowed to use aids to make your life easier. there is not a "level" of disabled you have to be be to use aids. you are allowed, you are allowed, you are allowed.
[to myself] you are not weak for using aids. it does not mean you are not trying. there is no pride in suffering. there is no shame in using help. you are allowed to make your life easier. you are allowed, you are allowed, you are allowed.
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athymelyreply · 18 days
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Ok y’all, I have something to say: I've been noticing a lot of antisemitic under/overtones in posts regarding Palestine, as well as a lot of misinformation going around. I've recently felt myself orbiting a very scary rabbit hole, and I really did not want that to happen, and I think that a lot of online leftist circles have been descending into that same rabbit hole very quickly.
The trend I’ve been noticing in a lot of online spaces has been a very quick slide into antisemitism. There’s been so much *vitriol* and energy directed at hatred and hurt and this feeling of *revenge* that feels like it obviously stems from antisemitism, cognizant or not.
I’ve done a bit of reflecting and realized that I’ve been part of this problem. I was reblogging posts that use inflammatory language and invoked antisemitic tropes or spread misinformation without doing my due diligence in terms of fact checking and bigotry screening and I’ve definitely fucked up quite a bit.
I'm going to continue my thoughts in the reblogs of this, but I acknowledge that I'm not someone with any shred of authority on *any* of this. I felt a need to post this because of all the antisemitism i've been seeing in posts, and because I wanted to start a discussion or open a line of dialogue to learn more. If any Jewish people want to discuss this i would be so grateful to hear your input, though i know it's not at all anyone's responsibility to spend their time educating me, that is on me and only me.
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genericpuff · 5 months
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And with that, 2000 years of history and 10+ years of an animated adaption later, Attack on Titan is over.
I wasn't planning on making an essay post about this but like all of my essay posts, it got crazy out of hand, so here we are. I have a lot to say on it and the more I wrote, the more I realized exactly what the Attack on Titan finale was about. It's cathartic. It's also kind of a big shitpost but not for the reasons you might think.
Spoilers for the Attack on Titan finale ahead! CW: DISCUSSION OF WAR AND GENOCIDE AHEAD!
Now for anyone who knows what I'm about to talk about (and anyone who follows my stuff here), I'm sure you're wondering , what side do I fall on in regards to Attack on Titan's ending? Am I about to talk shit about it? It's very divisive and somewhat inconclusive. It followed the exact ending in the manga which, while expected, was still disappointing to many who had hoped the anime would take some other path.
But I have to ask, could there have been any other way?
Eren committed mass genocide, bordering on extinction of the entire human race. There was no way that he was gonna come out of it redeemed or as a hero, and he knew it. He went straight up Walter White core here and like Walter White, he is not a hero.
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The fact that the Marlayans have been constantly going to war with other countries using Eldians as their personal soldiers goes to show that for countries that seek out conquest, there's no target too small or insignificant that can't be marked as an "enemy", and we see that reflected in Eren as well, in his pursuing of "freedom", an ever-moving goalpost that can never truly be satisfied.
The Jaegerists were hellbent on creating a new empire on the bloodshed of Marley - 'an eye for an eye', so to speak.
Nothing was ever going to truly satisfy either 'side' in the conflict of humanity vs. Eldians because such conflicts' origins have been obfuscated in hundreds of years of history, propaganda, and generational trauma that has repeated itself for so long that many don't even know what they're fighting for anymore, aside from one thing - that they don't want to suffer, that they shouldn't have to suffer for the actions of their ancestors, that they want peace and happiness but don't know where to start with taking the first step.
I think people are disappointed in this ending because, let's face it, it's anime, and it's an anime adaption that took years to finish. We always want to see some kind of vindication from stories like these, but I think in having vindication, it ultimately removes the point altogether of what's being said.
As much as we may try to fight it, try to deny it, the course of human history travels in a circle. Conflict will always arise. History is written by the victors, and those victors will be seen as heroes by whichever side they're fighting for regardless of what heinous acts they may have committed to justify their salvation. And after all of that conflict, regardless of the result - time goes on, and new conflicts arise.
But I don't think that means we have to succumb to grief and suffering and that's a point that I'm seeing missed in a lot of the discussion around the finale. There's a very powerful scene between Armin and Zeke, in which Armin talks about how he was born to run up the hill with Mikasa and Eren. He recognizes fully that if his life isn't meant to be long, he can still cherish those small moments that he thinks back on fondly, the moments that defined his life with the people he cared about.
And that's really all life is. Small moments and experiences that stick with us until the end. The very act of being born in and of itself is a cosmic miracle that gives us the chance to experience things that bring us joy and stay with us forever - however short or long that 'forever' may be. We take these small moments for granted when we're comfortable, but we look for them the most when we're suffering.
If I can relate all this to another piece of media that says the same thing - albeit with a much brighter ending - FF XIV: Endwalker also asks a similar question to Attack on Titan - is the only meaning in life to suffer and die? Of course, by its end, we learn that while death and suffering is an inevitable part of life - not something that should be avoided - it shouldn't persuade us to give in to fear and despair as a constant state of being. And I think Attack on Titan goes for a very similar approach, albeit slightly more as a cautionary tale - a nihilistic reminder that ultimately, the losses and victories we find in our current point of history are still just that, a single point, a blip that will be forgotten until it's ultimately repeated, and there's no escaping that.
It cautions us that freedom cannot exist without constant vigilance for war and conflict. It cautions us that our values and core beliefs for attaining freedom, love and happiness can be twisted into a weapon to cause harm, vindication gained at the cost of another. It cautions us that when left in the wrong hands, power can and will be abused by the ignorant while propagandizing itself as "the greater good".
So why not just find the joy that we can? The friendships, the little moments, the things that bring us happiness even if only temporary. Conflict is inevitable, suffering is inevitable, but that doesn't mean life isn't worth living. "Happiness" is not a tangible end point - it's the side effect of living a meaningful life that's true to yourself.
Attack on Titan is over. Some will argue the ending was the only way, others will argue that there could have been another way and that the anime adaption had the chance to change it but still didn't for reasons beyond their comprehension.
But isn't that the whole point? We'll argue. We'll bargain. Many of the arguments made will reinforce our own beliefs further rather than sway us. Many of us will insist there had to be another way, just as Armin insisted that this couldn't have been the only way, that humanity must have had another option. Meanwhile, many of us will acknowledge that at the end of the day, this is the story Isayama wanted to tell, and regardless of whether or not it makes him an idiot toying with his audience and admitting defeat by lampshading it in the penultimate scene of Eren admitting to his own idiocy, this was the power given to him and he used it in the best way he knew how.
Much like in any conflict, there's one thing that unites both sides - the human need for joy, connection, and freedom.
We might not agree on how Attack on Titan ended, but we can agree that it was a hell of a ride, and I hope we can all agree that it was worth riding, even if it wasn't satisfying for everyone in the end. It brought many people together regardless of their backgrounds, experiences, and differences, and connected them through something they all loved for over ten years. And despite how big a part of our lives it was, life will still go on, and we'll move on to other things to watch, enjoy, and argue over. Isayama will move on to whatever awaits him next, knowing fully well that his choice was his own, that he created the series he wanted to create regardless of how people feel about it. We'll all look for our own forms of joy and happiness as life moves on around us, as conflicts come and go.
Isn't that really what freedom is at the end of the day?
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wisefoxluminary · 5 months
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I don't feel comfortable speaking out about things like this but I am deeply disappointed in Noah Schnapp. To have the audacity to wave around stickers that support and glorify literal genocide as "sexy" is just so disgusting. Palestinian people are being bombed and dying and here he is making jokes and having a laugh about it. I will continue to be a Stranger Things fan and will not boycott season five but Noah needs to grow up and take a good fucking look at his life.
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uncanny-tranny · 6 months
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If you truly want to do what's best for mentally ill people, you have to learn that you often won't be able to separate the "salvageable" parts of ourselves with our illnesses, and you can't pretend like we are sane people underneath the façade of insanity, like we can flip a switch and magically erase the differences that make us "disordered"
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See under the cut for visuals
lately while driving i've been seeing a lot of specialty plates that i could see Jotaro having while he lived in Florida
Bonus points to anyone who can tell me what custom plate number he would have
"Go Fishing" sea bass
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2. "Helping Sea Turtles Survive"
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3. "Protect Out Reefs"
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4. "Protect Wild Dolphins"
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5. "Save the Manatee"
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lunaticmeap · 5 months
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Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng are an absolute banging tragic duo because they have the exact opposite take on their relationship with each other. Where WWX is like "I 'hate' you but I will still defend your happiness", JC is like "I wish I hate you but I don't." WWX tries to hang onto what shred remains of his relationship with JC and continues to apologise on JC's behalf, never unwavering with his support for JC's leadership, meanwhile JC is haunted by the love they have always had and has been trying for 13 years to be free of it, thinking his trust was misplaced.
Yet if a bit ironically, the reason they got to that stage in the first place is because they acted in the same manner towards each other, in that they both sacrificed so much in their attempts to protect and save each other in the name of love that, in the end, they end up tarnishing that love they were trying to protect to begin with. By the end of the series, whether or not their relationship is salvageable is never truly addressed, but it is undeniable that their attempts at loving each other has irrevocably changed them for the worse, and somehow estrangement from that deep love is the thing that will give both of them the peace in mind which they wanted for each other.
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noperopesaredope · 14 days
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Disclaimer: I barely know what I'm talking about. I'm just putting some thoughts out there because I'm honestly confused about some things. These are the words of someone who can barely understand what anyone is saying and also trusts no one on the internet. I've accepted that I am too stupid to understand this conflict and no matter how much research I try to do, I will never understand any of it. Believe me, I have tried. These are the ramblings of a confused idiot who is out of the loop on everything and will never really be in the loop.
You can add your own thoughts or disagree. But don't yell at me for my thoughts. I've tried to educate myself, but that has failed. But I still want to throw some thoughts into the discussion using my limited understand of everything. I will likely be turning off notifications to this post if too many people shout at me for not understand shit or agreeing with them, so probably don't try to change my mind. Just say what you want to say and add your own essays in the reblogs.
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I've been trying not to say too much about the Israel-Palestine conflict (not just Gaza, but in general) since it's so complicated and messy and I'm not informed enough on another country's massive, decades-long conflict for me to feel comfortable commenting on it. However, I have had a little nugget in my brain that has been bothering me for a while now. A common Zionist argument I occasionally see is that Palestinians aren't actually "indigenous" to the region of Israel-Palestine, and that they are invaders. They came from somewhere else to live in that area, and therefore aren't "the true people of Israel." But I find this argument rather silly and a bit hard to believe.
First off, and I'm not even saying this as an argument against Israel, but isn't the whole point of Jewish mythology (mythology is the technical term) that Israel is "the Promised Land?" As in, the end point? The final destination rather than the start? Maybe I'm confused and need to brush up on Jewish mythology, but from what I remember, the Hebrews came from a different region in the Middle East, then migrated to the region where Israel is. Therefore, they didn't exactly "originate" from there either.
It's also kind of hard to believe that there weren't already other people who were living there already. And then Abraham and his family moved to Egypt anyways due to drought, and the Hebrews were there for hundreds of years before coming back to Israel. And by the time they'd come back, a bunch of other ethnic groups had already made their homes in Israel, as people had been doing likely long before Abraham and his family first came to the region.
And even if Abraham and his family originally came from that region, Abraham already lived in civilization. Civilization still existed there, and people were still living there. Abraham was basically part of a different ethnic group before he created the Hebrews. Therefore, the Hebrews would be from Israel, but so would all of the other people already living there who weren't descendants of Abraham.
Whether or not you believe that the region belonged to the Hebrews by the will of God, all those other mfs were still living there first. You can say that you own the land because God said so, but you can't truthfully say that all the people who were there before Abraham was even born are not native to the region.
Even if we're not looking at Biblical accounts, realistically discussing archaeology and patterns throughout history leads us to the conclusion that there was no singular native ethnic group in Israel.
It is well known that Israel has had, like, hundreds of different peoples who have lived there at different points throughout history. It has switched around a lot of times, and has definitely had multiple ethnic groups living there at the same time. It is a region that has historically been diverse, and many have called it home.
On top of that, who is to say that Palestinians aren't actually also natives to that region? I've heard some people say that the Palestinians are decended from Arabs who invaded the region, but is it really true that all of them are of Arab decent? Again, this area is incredibly diverse, and I'm pretty sure it was ethnically diverse even before Israel was founded. It's unlikely that
Also, haven't the Palestinians been living there for thousands of years anyways? Because in that case, I'd say it's questionable to declare a pretty diverse group of Middle Eastern brown folks to not be native to a region they have been living in for hundreds/thousands of years.
Especially when a large number of those who moved to Israel when it was founded (refounded?) back in 1948 were of white European decent. I believe that Israel is still the homeland of the Jewish people, but is a white Jewish person whose family has been living in Europe for hundreds of years really more native to the Middle East than a brown person whose family has been living in Palestine for hundreds of years?
Like, I see these white ass mfs sitting here saying "I belong here more than you" to these brown people who have been there for generations. This statement is not about Jewish folks who have been living in the Middle East for generations, mainly just those of European decent who declare that the land belongs to them more than those who have been there forever.
I still believe that the Hebrews should be considered "indigenous" to Israel, but to say that they are more indigenous seems disingenuous when both groups migrated to the region. No one group has ever been the true native group of that area, and I feel that either side arguing that the other is not native to the region is full of shit.
We don't know who is native to the region. We barely even know if Israelis and Palestinians each are made of singular ethnic groups. So I feel like declaring the "One True Indigenous Group" is pointless and redundant to the discussion. Either both are or neither are. Shut the fuck up.
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skrunksthatwunk · 3 months
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you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.
you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.
so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.
you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.
you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.
you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.
you know you broke the rule by interacting.
but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.
#before i maybe get yelled at:#1) no i do not think ppl are evil for having men dnis no i do not think these are all equal transgressions even#though there is an overlap that should be examined that i think is based in a degree of lesbian separatism + exclusionism#2) yes there are lesbian blogs and people that are cool about genderfucky people. i'm not talking about them#3) this is a stylized vent post about trying to find lesbian content on tumblr that isn't like this. all these dnis/rules are ones i have#encountered. no i do not literally tell these people to change their dnis to suit me. the conversations are symbolic and ideological in#nature. if i find a blog with men dni i generally go somewhere else. it's about emotions. it's about my feelings on that it's not literally#about dming someone demanding they change things. it's not about demanding that You change things or else you're a bad person.#4) it is about the conflicts and hypocrisy and inconsistency of strict and exclusive sexuality labels persisting in gender-diverse spaces#and how it affects me as a lesbian who is a man who is a woman who is fucking whatever else. and yes it is about transphobia too.#5) it's about how lesbians feel the need to exclude men and how i think efforts to do so fail and hurt ppl and are often misguided#tht i think also comes up in like. bi lesbian/mspec lesbian/gaybian discourse. i'm not any of those myself but it seems like there's overla#6) if this post seems whiny and sad and insecure that's because it probably is. i have a right to be all of those things.#7) no i do not think all lesbians are man-hating assholes. i am a lesbian. i love lesbians. i love dykes and most of them are fantastic ppl#i just think the general bullshit of the world leads to this defensive thing that ends up hurting others in our community y'know?#8) i get that my perspective/experience is a bit unusual and many lovely ppl haven't considered it. that's part of why i'm sharing this#nyarla dni#<- sorry man it's too vulnerable. gonna keep this one to the internet-only folks
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svtskneecaps · 1 month
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FRIENDS I HAVE BEEN PLAYING WITH SOME OF THE QSMP MODS AND I AM FROTHING AT THE MOUTH
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BEHOLD THESE THREE PARTICULAR BLOCKS FROM THE FRAMEDBLOCKS MOD!!!!! FROM LEFT TO RIGHT, THE "FRAMED SECRET STORAGE", THE "FRAMED DOOR", AND THE "FRAMED ONE-WAY WINDOW"
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FRAMED SECRET STORAGE, A BLOCK WITH SOME STORAGE THAT CAN BE CAMOUFLAGED TO LOOK LIKE WHATEVER BLOCK YOU DESIRE!!!! WANT TO BUILD YOUR WHOLE HOUSE OUT OF CHESTS AND STILL MAINTAIN AESTHETIC?? GO FOR IT!! HAVE SECRET CONTRABAND BUT NEED EASY ACCESS? HIDE IT RIGHT IN YOUR WALLS!!!
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THE FRAMED DOOR, ABLE TO BE CUSTOMIZED TO LOOK LIKE A WALL!! THE TOP AND BOTTOM CAN BE ASSIGNED BLOCKS INDEPENDENTLY!!
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SECRET TUNNEL!!!!!!!!!
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THE FRAMED ONE-WAY WINDOW!! ANY ONE SIDE OF THIS BLOCK CAN BE MADE TRANSPARENT, INCLUDING THE TOP AND BOTTOM!!! the transparency can also be REMOVED, so if your friend forgets to look at the name of the block their crosshair is on, YOU CAN TOTALLY PRETEND IT'S A TOTALLY NORMAL SOLID BLOCK AND ADD THE TRANSPARENCY ONLY WHEN NECESSARY >:D
NEEDLESS TO SAY, I AM SO EXCITED FOR WHEN THE PARANOID MEMBERS WITH MANY SECRETS AND MANY THINGS TO HIDE DISCOVER THESE BLOCKS HEHEHEHEHEHE. AS SOMEONE WHO LOVES AND CHAMPIONS ESPIONAGE THIS CONSTITUTES AN ABSOLUTE WIN
#qsmp#I LOVE ESPIONAGE I LOVE SECRETS I LOVE HIDDEN PASSAGES#HOHOHOHOEHOEHOEHOEHOHEHOE#reading through the mod notes apparently if you use phantom membrane on a block it allows you to walk through it like ghost blocks#how FUCKIGN DOPE IS THAT#THIS MAKES ME SO FUCKIGN EXCITED LIKE ACTUALLY I LOVE ESPIONAGE AND SECRETS AND HIDEY HOLES SO MUCH#if mr badboy 'paranoia incarnate' halo stops being deceased i hope he discovers these blocks bc he'd go CRAZY#cellbit would also like DAMN like DAMN#imagine if he'd been able to conceal the security door in the fear room behind a door that looked the same as the wall#jaiden being able to see through the fog using the waterframes couldn't have revealed the door >:D#this is so COOL this is so DOPE i'm in tears i love espionage i hope someone finds these blocks soon#also don't mind that you can't see my hand in any of the screenshots i found a scarf that gives me invisibility#WHICH IS ALSO FUCKING DOPE#the artifacts mod is actually so OP like genuinely#i have bunny slippers that make me jump the height of three fences and take 0 fall damage (i make bunny noises when i'm hit too >:D)#i have a snorkel that gives me 15 seconds of water breathing every time i surface for air#i have night vision goggles AND i have a CLOUD IN A JAR that gives me a DOUBLE JUMP so combine that with the bunny slippers and :DDDDD#and NONE OF THESE have durability and i can have them on AT ALL TIMES unless they conflict in slots ofc like no two in the head slot or smt#tho this is assuming that i downloaded the correct mod (i would have grabbed it from seeing it in a tooltip on a stream so jury's out)#(i don't remember what stream either lmao)#but yeah assuming these items exist on the server they're so fucking cool; i'm assuming they'll pop up in a shop later#since i haven't seen people find many yet#anyway not to be a fucking nerd or anything lmfao just got a lil excited#long tags#shut up vic#block game brainrot
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a quite simple outfit, trying to use the little blue and white apron thing (which is actually a dress I think, that I just leave un-buttoned in the back and added an apron-like tie to lol)
#self#mori kei#jfashion#NOT really but like.. it's.. adjacent I guess.. forgive me .. I may try using tags again though I kind of got out of the habit ghhj#I need to be... Seen to some degree. I want to start selling clothes and sculptures again to recoup the costs of having to euthanize my cat#and stuff . but that won't be very successful if I have like.. 15 people to sell to lol...#the eternal Hermit Conflict where you hate attention and Being Percieved in general yet in todays capitalist society it is nearly#a necessity to have some form of social network or media presence especially in creative fields. etc. etc. ... kicking screaming wailing#sobbing so on and so forth.. tearfully punching the cold mossy stone walls of my evil wizard tower...#I was also thinking of maybe opening a few sculpture commission slots and maybe Tumblr Blazing that post or something#but.. again.... sobbing crying interacting with the general public oughhf ouuch -500 HP#why can't I just be approached by some wealthy 65 year old woman who is nonsensically infatuated with my art for no#reason and gives me like $10.000 a week for food and art supplies and etc. and I can go fuck off into a cabin in the middle of nowhere#in the uk and just be left alone to work on my projects without even needing to build any form of connections or social presence because I'#already set for life and can just get funding and connections whenever lol.. WHICH not to be ungrateful like obviously I still appreciate#anyone who follows and interacts with my posts. I dont mean it in a 'grrr fuck all of you imbeciles I wish I could delete my blog!!!' or#whatever hhjkjk.. I just mean it more in a like.. I am very socially inept and my mental illness gives me severe social issues so any situ#tion where I'm expected to self promote or network or interact with others generally is nightmarish and stressful for many many reasons#and if I could somehow skip that part and just go straight to being a famous author or somethin.. that would be cool. Which I know EVERYONE#hates networking and stuff but I mean like.. on a level most people could not possibly comprehend.. I am not just an 'introvert'. I am like#doctors declare me incapable of functioning in general society very poor mental health prognosis probably should have a caretaker at#some point type Hermit lol.. ANYWAY ghbhj... alas.. I also feel weird about the sculptures in terms of what to charge for them#and always have which is part of why I stopped selling them. If I charged a fair even like $15 an hour many of them would be like#close to $150+. and nobody is going to pay that for a decoration. that doesn't even factor in like.. supplies or time spent communicating/s#etching the concept (if a commission) etc. etc. I thought it'd be better to just auction them then and let people pay what they want inst#d of a set price but etsy doesnt allow auctions and is it weird to just.. link people to an Art Ebay or something lol..#AAAANYWAY.. the outfit.. I still love these shoes. they're nice and a little Older Style looking. always into pastel florals too lol#(everything is thrifted as usual. excited about the shirt because it's so puffy! it was in the halloween section though ghjhj.. like when i#s october and they make the special aisle in goodwill for 'Costume' clothes even though theyre all just normal stuff I would wear ghg)
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How to describe Bonten:
"Everyone in there is traumatized because a lot of bad shit that happened during the Kanto Incident" + Takeomi
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