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hexpea · 1 day

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Ch. 15 - Missing ⚠️TW: Emetophobia⚠️

You were woken up the next day with a splitting headache, as expected. Remembering what you had done the night before, you quickly grabbed your phone from your nightstand only to be greeted with no notifications from 'you know who.' You double checked the call log to confirm that you did, in fact, call Gojo. You immediately cringed at yourself, falling back down on your pillow and facepalming. The sudden movement had caused Seiko to wake up.

"Good morning, beautiful," they turned over in bed to smile at you. You gave a weak smile in return. "How are you feeling?"

"Wonderful," you gave a single laugh. "I'm going to need something for my head for sure."

"I thought so," Seiko playfully rolled their eyes. "What are you and your m-"

Before Seiko could finish their sentence, the two of you could hear your mother's voice from the living area. She sounded as though she were on the phone and by her tone it sounded incredibly serious, serious enough for you to check it out.

"What's going on, Mom?" You asked, walking into the room as you found her with a worried look on her face and phone to her ear.

You stood patiently waiting for her answer as you could hear your dad's voice from the other end. He was speaking quickly with his own tone of panic. You slowly furrowed your brow the longer it took your mother to answer your question.

"Sukuna," your mother's urgent glance flickered toward you as she hung up the phone. "One of the fingers is missing." You swallowed hard, suddenly frozen stiff. Sukuna was incredibly powerful, if not the most powerful, curse user in history -- and a hell of a guy to separate and imbue into a cursed object. "You're going to need to help," your mother looked at you sternly, your technique inherited from your father's side of the family. You stood frozen for a moment and your lack of response had irritated her. "Do you understand what I'm saying, Y/N?"

You took a seat in the chair across from her, still stunned at the news. Could this mean that Seiko...? "Y-yeah," you finally answered your mother. "I need to go back to Tokyo."

"You can't go back there," Seiko suddenly appeared in the room with curiosity. Their tone was stern and commanding.

"Seiko," your mother muttered, "she needs to-"

"NO!" They suddenly shouted, letting their anger get the best of them. "She can't go back there..." Their voice trailed off as the steam wore down.

"Seiko, I have to," you said sadly, looking up at them from your chair. "I'm really sorry, but with my dad being as old as he is... I'm...the last of my name," you chuckled at the irony. "The last of the imbuers."

Seiko breathed heavily, trying to contain their anger as best as they could. "Fine," they finally muttered, avoiding your eye contact. "But you need to stay away from him," they suddenly commanded.

You chuckled lightly. "Don't worry, Gojo won't cause any trouble."

"Stay away from him," they repeated with a hint of hostility. Your mother remained silent but was taken aback by the sudden attitude Seiko was having with you. They clearly weren't the same person they met at dinner those weeks ago.

"I can't exactly avoid him," you rolled your eyes with a light smile. "It's Sukuna we're talking about. You remember what I told you about him. He's not to be underestimated," you shrugged, "and if someone ingests or even possesses a finger, he'll be a threat to everyone, not just me. Gojo is the most powerful sorcerer, I'd need him to be there during the ritual when we find it."

Seiko's shoulders tensed as they reluctantly nodded in agreement. "Just...be cautious. I don't trust him..."

Their voice trailed off and you knew that they wanted to say your name, too. And rightfully so. That night spent with Gojo was a huge mistake, one you wished you could take back. The thoughts that lingered behind, though, were so tempting that they made you sweat. You had to get over him and that night, Seiko was your future and your love for them shone brightly. You considered them your best friend and this weird behavior they were exhibiting was just a hiccup you needed to figure out. One step at a time, you tried to reassure yourself.

The next day, you had prepared for your travels and your mother had scheduled your flight to Tokyo for that evening -- all paid for by the school, of course. As you contemplated your upcoming trip back, you couldn't help but feel a sense of foreboding. The missing Sukuna finger was a grave concern. You knew that it held immense power and its loss could potentially lead to chaos that hadn't been seen in nearly a thousand years.

Seiko's sudden change in demeanor also troubled you deeply. Their outbursts and uncharacteristic behavior hinted at a darker force at play. Deep down, you wondered if he was the cause for the missing finger. To you, there really was no other explanation. However, Seiko's warning about Gojo lingered in your mind. The night you spent with him had left an impact, and you couldn't deny the temptation that still simmered beneath the surface. But now, the situation was different. Your responsibility was not only to your family and friends but also to Seiko, the one you had promised to share your life with. You needed to ensure that your connection with Gojo remained strictly professional for the sake of your future.

With a determined resolve, you turned to Seiko. The three of you stood near the front door, your packed bag at your feet. You had a sense of sincerity in your eyes as you looked toward your partner.

"I promise, Seiko, I'll be cautious," you reminded them for the thousandth time that afternoon. "My priority is to recover that finger and ensure our safety. I won't let any non-existent personal feelings get in the way," you emphasized.

Seiko's eyes softened as they looked at you, and for a brief moment it felt like the person you had fallen in love with was still there. "I trust you, Y/N. Just come back to me safely."

You reached out and took Seiko's hand, offering a reassuring squeeze. "I will, I promise. We'll get through this together."

"Goodbye, dear," your mother offered a warm hug as you began your departure. She had promised to stay behind and keep an eye on Seiko; it reassured you of your trip back to Tokyo.

"I'll get home as soon as I can," you smiled, releasing her and opening the door to your apartment.

"Of course," she smiled, "and not long after we'll all have to go back for somebody's wedding!" She teased as she closed the door behind you and you rolled your eyes to yourself.

As you stepped into the bustling arrivals area of the Tokyo airport, you couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions; you swore you were almost nauseous. You were back in the city, yet again, but the reason for your return was far from exciting, yet again. The missing Sukuna finger hung heavily in your mind, and the journey to find it was daunting. The turmoil in your stomach seemed to be a mix of dread, and the unfamiliar sensation had been plaguing you for days.

As you navigated the sea of people, searching for Ijichi, you spotted a familiar figure holding a large sign with your name sloppily written on it.

Gojo's grin was as obnoxious as ever, and it didn't take long for you to notice him in his ostentatious fashion. His stark white hair, tall frame, and that ridiculous grin made it impossible to miss him. He was dressed in casual attire, but you couldn't help but notice how effortlessly attractive he looked. He held the sign above his already six-foot head while others stared and whispered while passing. He leaned from foot to foot, swaying the sign to draw attention even more. The whispers didn't deter him, he seemed positively adamant on catching your attention in the most flamboyant way he could.

He continued waving the sign in the air as you approached, his blue eyes lighting up with mischief from behind his sunglasses. His happiness wasn't swayed by the blatant scowl on your face. "Y/N!" He greeted, laid the sign against his leg, and held out his arms as if you were about to embrace him. "My favorite imbu-"

You stopped in front of him, holding your scowl with your arms tightly at your side. You couldn't contain your annoyance any longer, cutting him off mid-sentence. "Satoru, do you really have to be this extra? You're embarrassing me." You ended in a whisper and leaned toward him so he could hear you.

He chuckled, completely unapologetic. "Embarrassing you is my specialty, Y/N."

You rolled your eyes and took the sign from against his leg, giving him an exasperated look. "I thought Ijichi would be here to pick me up."

"C'mon, Y/N, it's you," Satoru teased, grabbing your suitcase and rolling it along side himself as you left. "Why would they send Ijichi?! Plus, I thought a warm welcome was in order...and I may or may not have missed you."

You glanced at him, surprised by his words. "You missed me?"

He shrugged casually but didn't let his smile fade. "Maybe just a little. Now, let's get going. We've got a Sukuna finger to find."

The drive from the airport back to Tokyo had been a relatively silent one. You sat in the passenger seat of Gojo's sleek, black car, gazing out of the window at the familiar cityscape. The tension in the air was palpable, largely stemming from the unresolved feelings you had towards the man behind the wheel. But you promised Seiko, and yourself.

Your thoughts were abruptly interrupted by Gojo's voice, pulling you back to the present. "I hope you don't mind, but I made your arrangements."

"You turned to him, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "Arrangements? I thought I'd be staying at the school. Why would you need to make any?"

Gojo glanced at you, his smirk never leaving his face. "Well, I thought it'd be more convenient if you stayed at my place for the time being. I may have mentioned it to the higher ups. You don't mind, do you?"

Your shock and irritation were evident. He'd spoken to the higher-ups about your staying arrangements without even asking for your consent. He was clearly up to no good, playing his usual games. "You what? Gojo, you can't just decide things like that for me!"

His grin widened, almost as if he enjoyed getting under your skin. "Relax, Y/N. It's not a big deal. My place is close and I promise it's way more comfortable than the dorms at the school."

You crossed your arms, clearly not pleased with this turn of events. But he wasn't wrong. "That's not the point, you should've asked me first."

As you drove deeper into the city, your discomfort increased. You thought that your stay would be at the school, where you could maintain some semblance of independence from your ex-husband. Now, you were on your way to his flat, feeling like that ability was slipping away. The steady sound of the car and the city passing by began to make your stomach churn. The feeling from earlier hadn't subsided. It was somewhat familiar, and not in a good way. You tried to ignore it at first, but as the queasiness grew, you knew you were in trouble.

Gojo noticed your discomfort as you fidgeted in your seat and raised an eyebrow. "You okay, Y/N? You don't look so good." From the corner of his eye he could see your face beginning to pale and dampen ever so slightly.

You nodded, trying to hide your nausea as saliva began to pool in your mouth. "I'm fine, just tired from the trip."

But your body had other plans. As Gojo turned onto a side street, you couldn't hold back any longer. You brought a hand to your mouth, and Gojo's eyes widened as you began clawing at the door handle.

"Whoa, hold on!" He quickly pulled over into a vacant spot near the curb, unbuckled his seat belt, and reached over you to open the passenger door.

Immediately, you began to vomit onto the pavement. Like some sort of professional, he quickly moved your hair out of the way and held it back while you coughed and spit away the remnants of your sickness.

Once you'd finished, he quickly handed you a tissue from the box he kept in the backseat. "I told you that you didn't look so good. Maybe it's more than just being tired. Are you sure you're okay?"

You took a few sips of water from the bottle you had bought at the airport and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. The nausea you'd been experiencing had become a regular part of your morning routine as of late, but you didn't want to say anything to Satoru. To your knowledge, a stomach bug had been floating around but this had lasted longer than any sort of bug.

"I'm sure I'm okay," you reassured him seriously. "Please, let's just get to your flat. We've got more important things to worry about."

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queseraone · 2 days

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Talk shop Tuesday: how many and which fics do have planned or have started writing? Talk about them. 🤭

Omg you brat 🙈💗

So I am, of course, insane, and have a Google Doc to keep myself organized (suddenly wondering why I didn't make a Google Sheet... a change may be in order!)

Anyway, so I have "in-progress," "ideas," "abandoned?" and "completed" lists (and then I link to each of the docs within the doc, because I like organization, okay?). I also have a list of lyrics/title ideas and "homeless pieces of writing" (where I copy and paste things that didn't quite fit into a particular fic) in here as well. It's like my own little master list.

Still along for the insanity ride? I swear there's a method to my madness.

I consider a fic in-progress if I've actually started writing it (as in, I have written actual sentences/paragraphs for it, not just jotted down a few bullet points), so here is that list:

6x06 post-ep fic (Tim's Version - hope to have this done in the next few days, if the muse cooperates)

a very (very) bare bones start to a car accident angst-fest

a beachy AU that may and may not happen

an outsider POV fic I started during Chenford Week last year and am on the fence on finishing (it's sooooo random and and feels kind of pointless, but I love outsider POV fics)

a continuation of our 5x08 spec fic collab (because girl, we cannot leave it like that)

On the ideas front (this includes both ideas with tons of notes/plans, and ones with two bullet points and a prayer):

a smutty reunion of sorts...

a sort of enemies-to-lovers AU (Lucy is either a reporter or a screenwriter... or both?, Tim is a cop)

a what-if sort of scenario - what if Lucy and Emmett dated longer (or got back together) - aka how Tim realizes he's in love with her and makes his move

Contractor Tim AU (iykyk - this is basically born out of my desire to not waste the 10K+ words I started for Linstead - we shall see if I'm able to reimagine it for Chenford)

a collab with you that I think would be so much fun (the experience and the actual fic itself), so I really hope we can make that happen together

a Wildest Dreams-inspired collab with @makeitastrength that'll hopefully be a hiatus project

a little thing that's basically me bashing the go-to jealousy trope and coming at it from a totally different (fluffy) angle

an inkling of an idea to go back and dive deeper into various conversations between Tim and Angela over the years (including scenes we saw on the show and scenes we didn't)

And, for fun, a list of ideas I've abandoned (maybe temporarily, maybe forever):

a heartbreaker where Kojo dies - but also included a trip down memory lane at some moments in his/their life so it wasn't pure sadness (full disclosure, this was basically my personal therapy after my dog died a few weeks ago. I am so sorry Kojo, I promise I'm your number one cheerleader)

a fun group/couples game night (the result of me misreading a prompt that said "it's a fight, couples fight" and then the idea of the couples battling it out took over my mind... 😅)

I feel like I'm missing a few more, but this is already the longest, most insane response ever... and if you made it to the end? Congratulations/I'm sorry.

ILY 💖

#talk shop tuesday #asked and answered #timandlucy #writing #chenford #the rookie

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cheynovak · 3 days

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A Soldier's present

Soldier boy x F/Reader

Warnings: none I guess

Side note: English isn’t my first language.

Since a few people were interested in a follow up of the story A Soldier’s Past, including @anundyingfidelity who is also a writer I admire very much!

And because my toxic trait is to think I can heal broken fictional men. I decided to make a part two to this story. (I'm not going to lie, it was already written 😂🙈)

Anyway... Have fun! 😁

*Does not follow the boys timeline*

Y/N is a museum clerk at the old Vought Museum on the edge of town. The only and old exhibition about Soldier Boy standing will end in a few weeks, Vought found a new purpose for the museum. Meaning the exhibition will end and Y/N will need to search for a new job.

After giving Soldier boy one last tour of the museum, he asked her to dinner.

The next night.

The crisp evening air carried a hint of anticipation as Y/N stood outside the museum, her heart beating fast with excitement. She had spent hours getting ready, carefully selecting the perfect outfit and styling her hair, all in preparation for her dinner with Soldier Boy.

As the minutes ticked by, however, a sense of unease began to gnaw at the edges of her consciousness. Where was Soldier Boy? Had something come up? Or worse, had he changed his mind about their plans?

Y/N glanced at her phone, willing herself to remain patient. Perhaps he was just running late, she reasoned, trying to hold back the worry in her chest.

But as the minutes turned into hours, and still there was no sign of Ben, Y/N's heart sank. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as she realized that he wasn't coming. The weight of disappointment settled heavily upon her shoulders, threatening to crush her beneath its suffocating embrace.

She had been so foolish to believe that Soldier Boy's interest in her was genuine, so naive. With a heavy sigh, Y/N turned away from the museum, her footsteps heavy with sorrow as she made her way home.

Y/N wiped away her tears and pushed herself to walk away. She refused to let Soldier Boy's absence ruin her evening. Instead, she decided to take matters into her own hands.

Without a second thought, Y/N made her way to a nearby bar, her heart still heavy with disappointment but her spirit undaunted. She knew that drowning her sorrows in alcohol wasn't the solution, but tonight, she needed a distraction.

As she entered the old blues bar, the sounds of laughter and music, the scent of alcohol hung heavy in the air, mingling with the buzz of conversation and the clinking of glasses.

Y/N found an empty stool at the bar and took a seat and ordered her first drink at the bar. As the night wore on and Y/N saw a familiar figure suddenly appeared before her. It was Soldier Boy, his presence unexpected yet strangely welcome amidst the haze of alcohol and music.

Y/N's heart skipped a beat as she looked up to see him standing there, offering her a tentative smile. Despite the pain he had caused her earlier, she couldn't deny the flutter of excitement that stirred within her at the sight of him.

Ben approached her with a sense of hesitance, as if unsure of how she would react to his sudden appearance. "Hi," he said softly, his voice tinged with regret. "Mind if I join you?"

With a sigh, Y/N nodded, gesturing to the empty stool beside her. “It’s a free country.” Part of her longed to hear his explanation, to understand why he had stood her up. Ben took a seat beside her, his gaze searching hers for any sign of forgiveness.

"I'm sorry," he began, his voice heavy with remorse. "I know I messed up tonight. I should have been there, but something came up..." He didn’t finish his sentence. Y/N looked at her drink “I get it, I was foolish to think you actually were interested in little old me.”

His heart felt heavy hearing her words.” Please, let me make it up to you. Let me buy you a drink.” Looking at her hoping she would at least once look at him. "I don't know.” she admitted quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

She noticed how he turned to her, his knee almost touching her thigh. Unable to keep her gaze away she looked up at him. Behind the green of his eyes, she saw so much hidden emotions: tired, afraid, angry, scared, hopeful.

Y/N hesitated for a moment. Finally, she nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Alright," she said softly. "One drink.” Another emotion, glimmer of happiness appeared.

As their drinks arrived, Y/N took a deep breath, steeling herself for the conversation ahead. "Why were you late?" she asked, her voice soft yet filled with a hint of urgency.

Soldier Boy hesitated for a moment, his gaze dropping to his drink as he searched for the right words. "I... I got caught up in something," he admitted, his voice tinged with regret. "Something unexpected came up, and I couldn't leave."

Y/N studied him carefully, searching his eyes for any sign but he was unreadable. "Can you be more specific?" she pressed gently, her curiosity getting the better of her. Ben sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "It's complicated," he replied evasively, his eyes avoiding hers.

Y/N's brow furrowed with concern, a flicker of frustration creeping into her voice ‘Fine.” Y/N's grip tightened around her glass, her knuckles turning white with the intensity of her emotions. She took a deep breath and finished her drink.

Y/N pushed herself up from the stool and made her way towards the exit of the blues bar. Each step felt like a battle against the weight of disappointment. Ben watched her go. He wanted to reach out, to stop her from leaving.

But decided it was best to let her go.

As Y/N stepped out into the cool night air, her mind still reeling from the encounter with Soldier Boy, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment. Not only had he stood her up, but he hadn't even bothered to compliment her.

Lost in her thoughts, Y/N barely noticed the two men following her at first. It wasn't until she heard the faint sound of footsteps echoing behind her that she glanced over her shoulder, her heart skipping a beat as she caught sight of their looming figures in the darkness.

A sense of unease settled over her like a heavy weight as she quickened her pace, her footsteps echoing against the deserted streets. Just as panic threatened to consume her, a voice broke through the silence.

"Hey, where are you going pretty thing?" the voice called out, “Wanna have some fun?” Y/N looked over her shoulders again ignoring the two men. Just as one wraps his hand around her arm and pushes her against the wall, she hears a familiar voice.

“Y/N!” The men took a step back pretending to be familiar. Y/N turned to see Soldier Boy running towards her, his expression filled with concern and determination. Relief flooded through her at the sight of him, a surge of gratitude washing away the fear that had threatened to consume her.

"Ben," she breathed, her voice trembling with emotion.

Without hesitation, he stepped forward, positioning himself between Y/N and the two men who had been following her. His stance was protective, his gaze steely as he faced down the threat.

"Back off," he warned, his voice low and menacing. The two men hesitated for a moment clearly calculating their chances. But when Ben took another step forward one of them recognised him. “Fuck dude, do you know who that is? Let’s get outta here.” he tapped his friend’s shoulder and started running.

"Thank you," she said softly, her voice filled with genuine appreciation. Soldier Boy smiled, a flicker of warmth in his eyes. And as they stood there together in the quiet of the night, Y/N felt a sense of peace settle over her.

“Are you alright?" he asked, his voice filled with genuine worry. Y/N nodded, her breath still coming in short, uneven gasps. "I... I think so," she replied, her voice trembling slightly.

Soldier Boy reached out to gently touch her arm, his touch comforting. "Do you want me to walk you home?" he offered, his tone soft yet filled with determination. "Just to be safe." "Thank you," she whispered.

Y/N knew that she was safe. And as they neared her apartment building, she couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude. She turned to Soldier Boy with a small smile, the tension of the night gradually fading into the background.

"How about another drink?" she asked, her voice warm and steady. Ben was hesitated for a moment, his gaze searching hers for clarification. “When?” Her smiled widened, “Let me rephrase that.”

"Would you like to come up for a drink?" she offered.

Ben’s eyes widened, "I would like that," he replied, his voice filled with sincerity, nerves rushing through his body. Not knowing what to expect, it had been ages since a woman invited him in her house. What did she mean, was a drink a clue for more, is she just friendly...

But the second he stepped inside Y/N's apartment and closed the door behind him, a sense of calm settled over them like a comforting embrace.

Y/N led Ben to the living room, gesturing for him to take a seat on the couch while she disappeared into the kitchen to fetch drinks, Ben's gaze lingered on her retreating figure, a soft smile playing at the corners of his lips.

He couldn't help but admire the way she moved with grace and confidence, her presence filling the room with warmth and light.

When she returned with two glasses, one filled with wine and the other with whiskey, Soldier Boy's eyes lit up with appreciation. He accepted the glass of whiskey with a grateful nod, his fingers brushing against hers in a fleeting touch that sent a shiver down his spine.

"Thank you," he murmured, his voice tinged with sincerity. Y/N smiled in response, her eyes sparkling with warmth.

As they settled onto the couch together, the soft glow of the lamp casting shadows across the room, Soldier Boy couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment wash over him. Despite the events of the evening, being here with Y/N felt like coming home.

A feeling he hadn't experienced in a long, long time.

"You look beautiful, tonight" he blurted out before he could stop himself, his words filled with genuine admiration. Y/N's cheeks flushed pink at the unexpected compliment, her eyes meeting his with a mixture of surprise and pleasure. "Thank you,"

As the night wore on and they continued to talk and laugh, Soldier Boy found himself drawn to Y/N in a way he couldn't quite explain. Her presence was like a magnet, pulling him closer with each passing moment.

He stole glances at her whenever he thought she wasn't looking, the way her eyes sparkled with laughter and her smile lit up the room. He saw how her legs were tucked in under her, showing some skin of her thighs underneath her dress.

Her arm hanging over the couch while her hand moved through her hair, tilting her head while listening to his stories. With each passing moment, Ben's fingers tingled with the desire to touch her.

Gently, almost tentatively, he reached out to caress her arm, his touch light and fleeting as he traced a pattern on her arm. Their eyes met in silence, he was looking for any sign of discomfort.

But when Ben didn’t notice anything, like a wave, drawing him closer to her in ways he couldn't fully comprehend. Emboldened by the electricity that crackled between them, his hand drifted lower, his fingers grazing over her thigh with a touch so delicate it was almost imperceptible.

Y/N's breath hitched at the sensation, her heart pounding in her chest. As Soldier Boy felt Y/N's reaction, a wave of nervousness washed over him. Had he crossed a line? Had he overstepped?

But all he found was a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes, a vulnerability that mirrored his own. "I'm sorry," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.

Ben couldn’t help it but to feel in doubt. What was happening to him? The old him would have kissed this girl by now. Wouldn’t waste time sitting here listening to each other, no he would have dragged her to bed and fucked her till she couldn't walk anymore.

But instead, he is afraid he overstepped? Pussy.

Y/N's eyes softened at his apology, her heart swelling with compassion for the man sitting before her. "It's okay, Ben," she replied gently, reaching out to touch his hand in a gesture of reassurance. Her fingers drawing circles on his hand.

And as they sat there together, the tension between them slowly easing with each passing moment. As Soldier Boy glanced at the clock, his heart sank at the realization of how late it had become.

He knew he should get going, that it was time to leave Y/N's apartment and return to the outside world. But a part of him hoped that she would ask him to stay, if only for a little while longer.

"I should probably get going," he said, his voice tinged with regret as he stood up from the couch.

Y/N's heart twisted with a sense of longing at his words, a flicker of doubt creeping into her mind as she watched him prepare to leave. She knew she should let him go, that it was the sensible thing to do. But a part of her couldn't bear the thought of saying goodbye not when their connection felt so real, so undeniable.

"Are you sure you have to leave?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. "I mean... it's late, and... and you could stay if you wanted to." Soldier Boy's heart skipped a beat at her words, a surge of hope swelling at the thought of spending more time with her.

"I appreciate the offer, Y/N," he replied softly, his voice filled with gratitude. "But I don't want to overstay my welcome. Besides, you probably have things to do tomorrow."

Y/N nodded, a sense of disappointment settling over her like a heavy shroud. "Yeah, you're probably right," she murmured, her voice tinged with regret. As Soldier Boy made his way towards the door, Y/N couldn't shake the feeling of doubt that gnawed at her insides.

Should she let him leave?

As Ben stood at the door, preparing to leave, he found himself lingering just a moment longer, unwilling to let go. Afraid to lose the feeling they had the last few hours. Knowing in the morning she might not want to see him again.

But before he could say a thing, Y/N's boldness surprised him. Fuelled by the courage of the wine and the intensity of her emotions, she reached out and gently took his hand, pulling him back into the room with a sense of determination that left him breathless.

To his surprise, she pressed her lips to his, a soft, tender kiss filled with all the passion and longing that had been building between them throughout the night. Ben's heart skipped a beat at the sensation, his senses overwhelmed by the sweetness of her touch.

As she dropped back on her heels he followed her, not willing to let go of her lips just yet. Their bodies pressed together in a silent declaration of desire and longing.

For the first time since he walked this newfound world, he felt alive, no longer a living fossil, all thanks to the woman standing before him. He wrapped his arms around Y/N, pulling her closer until there was no space left between them. Their kiss deepened, becoming more urgent and desperate with each passing second.

And as they broke apart, their breaths coming in ragged gasps she spoke “Are you sure you don’t want to stay?” But he didn’t answer how she hoped he wanted.

Ben sighed, his heart heavy with a mix of conflicting emotions. He gently pulled away from Y/N's embrace, his hands tender as he cupped her face, his eyes searching hers with a mixture of concern and tenderness.

"Y/N," he murmured, his voice soft but firm. "I think you might be a little drunk right now. And I don't want to take advantage of you in this state." Y/N blinked, her head spinning with a whirlwind of emotions as she processed his words. She felt a pang of embarrassment wash over her.

"I-I'm sorry," she stammered, her voice trembling with uncertainty. "I didn't mean to... I just..."Ben silenced her with a gentle brush of his lips against her, his thumb moving against her cheek in a soothing gesture. "It's okay," he reassured her,

“I just don’t want you to leave yet.” Her puppy dog eyes worked their charm on him. With a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, a twinkle of affection in his eyes.

"Now, why don't you let me make you some tea? It'll help sober you up, and then we can talk some more." And as they moved towards the kitchen together, Y/N couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude for the man standing there.

Looking at him, he was clearly struggling to make a cup of tea, “You need a hand?” she asked, but determent to take care of her he answered “No, no I got it covered...”

“... I think” he sighs.

Y/N watched him. All these years of studying him, teaching about him, she couldn’t help but wonder.

Is this caring man the real person behind the egocentric 'Soldier boy’ mask? Who knows, but she was willing to find out more about him.

Let me know what you think, feel free to like, share or comment. Make sure you check out my masterlist.

Taglist: @yvonneeeee @suckitands33

#fanfic #fluff #the boys #x reader #soldier boy #the boys amazon #jensen fucking ackles #angst #the boys hughie #pinning #jensenedit #jensen ackles #the boys fanart #fanfiction #f reader #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x you

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storiesbyjes2g · 2 days

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3.102 Negotiations

I thought about the whole money tree argument all night, and while I understood Sophia's concerns, it still didn't sit well with me. Dub's words from his note echoed in my head. "Financial freedom to pursue your dreams," he said. I knew she preferred to live a simple life, but didn't she have bigger dreams than just being married to me and raising our children? I heard the TV on, so I got up to address the topic again. My goal wasn't to change her mind—though I hoped she would—but to present my case coherently. I was blinded by the simoleons I didn't even have yet and failed to put a counteroffer on the table. If she could hear my thoughts, maybe she could see it in a different light.

"Good morning," I said.

"Have you ever seen this show? It's so fun!"

"Uhh...no. Can we talk?"

"Of course," she said, turning off the TV. "What's on your mind so early?"

"I want to revisit the money tree situation."

"Okay. Sure."

"You presented your reasons for limiting its use, but I don't think I did a good job explaining why I think we shouldn't, and I'd like you to hear what I think."

"Okay," she said slowly. "So, what's up?"

"You said it would be an insult to return the gift, but I think it would be an insult to ignore Dub's wishes."

Her eyebrow went up a little bit, but she was still tracking with me, so I went on.

"I understand your hesitation, but we don't have to let the money change anything about us. We can be ourselves, but with peace of mind and more opportunities. I think maybe your childhood is influencing how you're seeing this, but so is mine. I'm gonna tell you a different part of my story so you can see where I'm coming from."

"Sure."

"Okay..."

I took a deep breath and hoped my story would work some magic.

"You've been around my parents enough to know my mom is the one with the money."

"Yeah. That's obvious."

"Right. She spoiled us...she still does, heh. But we weren't spoiled brats. We had everything we needed, and a few things we wanted, but we didn't live extravagantly. We went to public school, wore regular clothes, and lived in a middle class neighborhood. For a long time, my mom had an office job. And even now, she still works her candle business. We weren't rich by any means. We were comfortable. I know this because when we went to my dad's house, it was not comfortable. He came home tired every day and didn't have the energy to spend time with us. He never took us anywhere, and there was nothing to do at his house-"

"But that's not what-"

"Wait. Let me finish. I haven't made my point yet."

"Okay. Sorry."

"My grandparents bought my mom a little house and gave her a chunk of money when she moved out so she could have peace of mind and time to explore the world and figure out what she wanted to do without the pressure of bills and working a job she hated."

Sophia nodded and smiled, giving me hope that my story already inspired her to change her mind.

"When we moved out, she did the same thing for us…except for the house, of course. It wasn't a ton of money, but I could have gotten a cheap apartment if I wanted to."

"Or a tiny house," she said, gesturing vaguely.

"Ha! Yeah, I could have afforded this. She's still taking care of us. I keep telling her she doesn't need to keep doing things for us, but all she says is when I have a child, I'll understand."

Sophia nodded.

"Yeah...I remember hearing her say that in Tartosa."

"Yeah... I may not have a child yet, but I do want to give it every opportunity I had and then some. I don't want it to worry and feel how we felt at my dad's house."

"I get that. I don't want that either."

"And what you said about your parents. They were older when they adopted you because it took forever to save the money. If we want to send off our children with a little something, we have to start saving now. We can't wait until a week before they're gone to start harvesting the tree. Maybe we don't take from it every day. Maybe just once or twice a week, or whenever we think about it. But just leaving the tree alone until we need it? That's not gonna give our children the kind of future I want them to have. I want to continue what my grandparents started. I don't think we should waste this opportunity."

She sat there, nodding and staring at me like she didn't realize I was done. But then she turned away, stared at the floor, and sighed.

"Wow... Your family history is filled with so much love and support."

I grabbed her hands, hoping to seal the deal and provide a little comfort.

"Yes. And you're part of that family now. I just want to continue the cycle. That's all. I don't want to start wearing labels and buy a big house in Del Sol. I just want to spend time with my family without consequence."

"I can't argue with that. I'm still not letting you give up on yoga, though."

I laughed. "I didn't expect you would."

"And to be clear," I continued, "I'm not gonna give up. I just don't want to be in a position where I'm still hustling and missing everything going on at home. You'll be here, so I know everything will be fine, but I want to be here too. I want our children to have all the benefits of living in a two-parent house."

"That's beautiful, Luca. I see the whole picture now. I've just decided I'm definitely not to going back to work."

I beamed at her.

"Really?? That's awesome! I love that for you."

"So, what do you think you'll do?"

"I don't know yet. I don't want to give up on teaching just yet, but I'll probably spend more time on SimTube. I have time to figure it out, though. Speaking of the hustle...I gotta go. I love you, Sophia. I love our life, and I can't wait to see how it turns out."

"I love you more!"

#ISBI challenge #sims 4 story #sims 4 gameplay #adolting #adolting gen 3 #luca winston murillo #sophia aguilar

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gotchibam · 5 months

Text

Espeon, Dusk Lycanroc, and Sylveon ko-fi doodle for Kaitlyn!

I'm accepting pokemon ko-fi doodle requests here! ✨

#artists on tumblr #pokemon #espeon #dusk lycanroc #sylveon #gotchibam arts #ko-fi doodle #thank you sm for the request!! <3 #i'm sorry this took so long ;_;#been having an art block for the past week so I couldn't finish any doodle #I think i'm getting back to it now tho esp. since the weather here is cooler now #w/c helps a lot (the past days has been terribly hot so yeah)#anyways i'll get back to ppl's msgs soon!!#also need to update stuff for my kofi members >_<#i'm getting behind a lot of stuff but I hope u guys can be patient w/ me ;o;

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lilybug-02 · 5 months

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Bribed with Chocolate. The way it should be.

Part 22 || First || Previous || Next

--Full Series--

More to come as this is a two-parter. But you know how I am with schedules.

Bonus:

I think this was an equally possible reaction from Chara.

#Chara and Azzy have another talk #Finally Chara shows their mischievous side.#and Azzy knows Chara's language well #my art #deltarune chara timeline #art #bread #deltarune #ngl im so happy with how that chocolate shake came out. I want to eat it so bad #yay 6 pages of taking :') i hope you guys like that lmao #Glad I got this one done in basically a month and a week! Hah. I'm trying me best :') Halloween.. Exams and a ton of other things came up #surprisingly these backgrounds weren't terrible to do... I mean took more than two hours but you know what I mean #i struggled with how to frame the background though. I actually liked drawing it. But because both the background and my characters--#--are super colorful I have to make sure I don't muddle the whole page.#Ive been thinking of doing the overworld in black and white recently... may help me actually finish the comic lol. idk i may make a poll #gonna try and get the new part out in maybe a month again? sorry. Thanksgiving and Christmas get me exhausted.

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ywpd-translations · 3 months

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Ride 758: The senpai's few words

Pag 2

1: Aoyagi-san!!

Pag 3

1: Wha- what happened, Danchiku, you stopped so suddenly

2: Why is he here, in Kyushu!?

What is it, what is it

4: He's probably the person I'd want to see the most right now!!

5: What is it, is there someone in the audience area?

Someone you know? You look so surprised

I wouldn't be so surprised even if someone was there

Pag 4

2: He-hello!! You... you came to... cheer us on!?

3: It's been a while, Danchiku

4: Yes.... yes!!

Thank you so much for coming so far to see us!!

5: You got bigger

Pag 5

2: Thank you so much

3: Uhm, actually

There's something I'd like to talk to you about, is that....

4: Aoyagi-saaaan!!

-okay!?

Pag 6

1: What, for real!?

What, are you really here- amaaazing!!

Oi, Issa, I was....

2: Wait... did you just made Aoyagi-san lose consciousness with your tackle!?

3: Aoyagi-saaan!! Hahahaha!!

You're attacking him when he's already down...!!

4: I'm... o... okay...

No, he keeps pausing while talking!!

Hahaha

5: I'll lead you to our tent!! Carry him, Danchiku!!

'Carry him'....

Pag 7

2: Thank you

2: I wished you had told me you'd come though, Aoyagi!!

You forgot to add “san”, Kabuagi

3: There was something... I wanted to talk to you about but

4: I guess it can't be helped....

(You're ending up yielding again, Danchiku)

5: Ah right

6: Aoyagi-san is

Pag 8

1: A member of last year's team!!

He's the column who supported Sohoku from below last year!!

2: Someone who gained experience through hard work and difficulties and debuted in his third year, ran as a sprinter, pulled the team, and brought back the members so many times

3: Without talking, without refusing, he just did it silently!!

5: Even when he was in a pinch, when he was injured, he moved forward with all his might without ever standing out!!

If he hadn't been there, there's no way Sohoku could have won!!

Pag 9

1: He-he sounds amazing, teh

Right!! I'm really flashy, so his way of running is probably the exact opposite of mine

2: Hearing it again, he really is an amazing person.....

and I also know well what happened with his leg on the third day

4: If I was in the same position and got injured.... would I be able to run the same way?

5: “He'll run away right away”

“He's a chicken”

Pag 10

1: In this Inter High that is about to start

Pag 11

1: Since Aoyagi-san came to see us, I'll smash the starting dash!

There's no need to smash, run calmly

2: Should I get subbed out?

I'm still in time

4: “No one will blame you”

“I can be done in fifteen minutes”

5: I'm at my peak now!!

Save it for the race

6: You're an idiot as usual

I'll forgive everything you say, Aoyagi-san!!

7: What can I do, what......

Nothing....!!

Pag 12

1: The stage event is starting soon

Last year's champions, Sohoku High School, representative of Chiba, please come to the stage

Kakaka, it's our turn!!

2: Teh.... I'm nervous, the

There's gonna be tons of spectators!!

3: Do-do we take a video? I'll do it, Sugimoto-san

I'll leave it to you then. I'll finish up here

4: Su-

Sugimoto-san!!

6: Ao.... yagi-san.....

Pag 13

1: Could you do me one favor?

2: Ah- yes!

Do you want something to eat!! Right away!!

3: The food truck is there... is curry alright?

4: …. no

5: A band-aid!? A nail-clipper!?

Leave it to me, after all I worked a lot behind-the-scene last year

6: Oi, Danchiku, what are you doing. Let's go

8: Ye.... yes

Pag 14

1: Take care of that idiot

Pag 15

3: The Inter High is harsh and long

But he's reckless and can't read the air

5: You, on the other hand

6: You always keep an eye on your surroundings and pay attention to what people say and do

And that means

Pag 16

1: That you can make an accurate judgment of risk in any situation

3: The ability to read small details when you're in a pinch is essential in road racing

4: Earlier in the midst of more than a hundred people in the audience area, you

Pag 17

1: found me at one glance

4: I think you know this too, but he can only look ahead

Please support him, take a step back and, as always

5: be watchful

Pag 18

2: Yessir!! Thank you so much!!

4: “Take a step back”.....!! Taking a step back.... yielding, are my...

5: If this small heart is my ability

Pag 19

2: then I'll be the one running, Issa!!

Together with you!!

At full throttle!!

Pag 20

1: Run, Danchiku

Just like I did last year

2: with Junta

3: I'm sure your feelings will give you strength

These are the members of Sohoku, the Chiba prefecture representative who won the championship last year

Pag 21

1: So far they have won two times in a row

3: What's wrong.... your balloon... shall I get it for you?

Pag 22

2: Thank you, Onii-chan

3: That's surprising, Midosuji-san

You're so kind

4: Puku.... I am kind, though?

5: anyone who doesn't wear a number bib, that is!!

#yowamushi pedal #yowamushi pedal translations #yowapeda #yowapeda manga #yowamushi pedal manga #yowamushi pedal spoilers #ride 758 #first of all- I'm so sorry it took me so long to update! i have so much work lately :') next week is probably gonna be the same #anyway #WHAT A BEAUTIFUL PERFECT INCREDIBLE AMAZING SHOWSTOPPING CHAPTER #i love this thing watanabe is doing lately #which is having people jump on someone to hug them #first roku with kinaka and now kabu with aoyagi #MY AOKABU HEART CANT TAKE THIS WTF I DID NOT EXPECT IT AT ALL #like i KNOW kabu loves aoyagi but!! seeing it like this????? excuse me????#you should know that a couple of years ago i started writing an aokabu fic about aoyagi going to kabu right before the ih #i had completely forgotten about it and found it like last week- and now THIS #is watanabe telling me that i should go back and try to finish it???#maybe maybe who knows #but i should shoundt i #theres not enough aokabu fics in this world #anyway i know this isnt the most important part of the chap but i am a shipper first and person second so #anyway DANCHIKU MY BOY #oh how i love the way watanbe is writing his struggle with self confidence #and i love that he finally decided to run bc aoyagi told him to take care of kabu #also excuse me but midosuji at the end agsjasdghasd

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holocene-sims · 3 months

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Ohhh, 🌹and 🍋 for th ask game please! For my favorite guy grant of course 😌

sofia!! 💜🤍 thank you so much for sending me questions!!

let's talk about everyone's favorite guy ☺️

p.s. just for you, i'm peppering in a sneak peek picture from my upcoming story updates 🥰

🌹 [ROSE] does your OC believe in true love? why?

surprisingly, he still does! and not only true romantic love but also familial and platonic love. he is, at the end of the day, a very sappy person and despite everything that's happened to him (looking at you, päivi, and your holiday hoeing around), he hasn't become cynical. at least not permanently cynical.

he does have his concerns and moments (sometimes often) of feeling like he's the only one who isn't worthy of being truly loved or that everyone who claims to love him is lying to him, but in his mind, he tells himself that true love can only exist if he puts out that kind of love towards others as well. hence, not cynical! he certainly doesn't want anyone else to have the same bad moments or feel unloved. because goddamn it, he'll love anyone and very genuinely.

except for terrible people like *gestures at his parents*

🍋 [LEMON] what is their kryptonite/ultimate weakness?

ultra serious answer: being too self-critical

true but not as serious answer: cigarettes and sweets

#asks #hlcn: oc info #hlcn: story extras #hlcn: grant #also i'm so sorry it took me like two days to answer these!!#i've been reading like 200 pages of stuff a day for my college classes and my brain now feels like goo #i have to finish half the iliad by tuesday and the whole thing by the week after #at least it's the best translation!#any classics fans out there say it with me WE LOVE EMILY WILSON

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whispers-of-masser · 10 months

Text

Just Tonight (II)

✧ Nebarra x human!LDB ✧ Angst to comfort; 2k+ words ✧ Brief & very mild suggestive content, light swearing ♫ "My Blood" - Echos, "Mistake" - NF, "Stubborn" - Riell ✒ @candydreamer122, you asked to be notified when this dropped so here ya go!

Nebarra opened his eyes to the golden light of dawn, your head resting on his chest, bare legs intertwined with his. Your body pressed against his, warm and comforting, and when he glanced down at your face, he'd never seen it more peaceful. He reached up, brushing your cheek with his thumb, and even in your sleep, you leaned into his touch.

Gods, you took his breath away. But even as he lay there, admiring you in the soft morning light, a single, unpleasant thought wormed its way to the front.

He didn't deserve you.

It made him pause, something turning sour in the pit of his stomach. No... Please, no...

He didn't want the moment to end. Didn't want the thoughts he knew would turn his happiness to ash. But for years they had whispered in his mind, been his constant companions, bitter and selfish lovers that left him with nothing in return but pain and cynicism. They would not let him go so easily, relinquish the control he has given them long ago.

All the more reason he couldn't, shouldn't have you.

Because, really, what could he offer you? He had nothing but his past, his bitterness, his selfish nature. Even last night had been spurred on by his own selfish desires, exacerbated further still by drink. He was nothing but thorns, rough and crude, the blood of hundreds on his hands – and he felt no guilt over them.

...Most of them.

You didn't deserve someone like that. You could do so much better than him.

Why did you want him, at all?

And as he lay there, hand cupping your face, his eyes drinking in every curve and contour – your own slowly fluttered open.

His breath caught. Sunlight danced across your irises, and he could see himself reflected in your gaze. For a few moments, you simply blinked at him, and he could see every minute shift in your expression. Emptiness, confusion, sudden realisation – and then you smiled.

Nebarra had seen many things in life. Many ugly things, things that he'd tried to forget, that haunted him until he drowned them in drink. The few beautiful things he'd seen, though... those, he remembered clearly, and often. Fought to carve them into every facet of his memory, to allow himself the slightest hope, to give himself the smallest of reasons to keep going. And the smile you gave him...

It was the most beautiful of them all.

There was life in your smile. Vast, vibrant, and beautiful, your face haloed in the golden light of morning, you looked... divine.

And then, you spoke, words low and husky from sleep, a laugh rumbling in your throat: "And you call me guar-face." Slowly, you raised a hand, gentle fingers brushing his cheeks, smile growing ever wider.

...He wanted you. Gods, how he wanted you. His heart ached with the thorns of longing, with the knowledge that he couldn't, shouldn't have you.

So, he turned away, pulled back from your touch. Forced an empty expression on his face, in his eyes. Grunted a simple, "Morning." And carefully, oh so carefully, pushed you off him.

"...Nebarra?"

Unwelcome. Outsider. All he was ever meant to be.

"What?" The word was heavy on his tongue, deadened in tone as he sat up, got off the bet, and set to collecting his clothes from the floor.

"Nebarra... What's wrong?"

Everything. "Nothing." He fumbled with his trousers, nearly falling as he tugged them on, still scanning the floor for his shirt. Anything to avoid meeting your eyes.

"Bullshit." Sheets rustled as you leaned forward, and he could practically hear your brows furrow at him. "Is it... because of last night?"

"No." Yes.

"I think it is. And I think we should talk about it – about this."

"There's nothing to talk about," he grunted, still pacing the floor, eyes roving everywhere but the bed. Where was his damn shirt?

"Oh, I think we have a lot to talk about."

He didn't answer, and in the silence, fabric rustled some more. Then, your voice, "...Looking for this?"

Finally, slowly, Nebarra looked at you. You were sitting upright on the bed, and in one hand you held up his shirt, winkled and dusty from the floor.

And you... were still very much naked. Your chest was on blatant display, the blankets pooled low around your hips, deep purple teethmarks scattered over your skin – his doing. Nebarra swallowed, averting his gaze back to the tunic.

Wordlessly, he stalked over, reaching out for it – only for you to snap your hand back, away from him. He sighed. "What are you doing?"

You didn't answer, though he could feel your gaze burning into him. Reluctantly, he returned it – and the storm in your eyes sent a shock down his spine.

Oh...

Oh, no.

Before he could even begin to pick apart what he saw in there, you raised your arms, slid them through the holes of the shirt, and pulled it down over your head.

You... were wearing his shirt.

Still holding his gaze, there was something like a challenge in your eyes. Nebarra grit his teeth and, for once in his life, held his tongue, unsure if he could win this one.

The thought... unsettled him.

But... maybe not as much as it should have.

"Nebarra."

No. No, no no no. You couldn't do that to him – say his name in that tone, in that way.

"What?" he snapped, harsher than intended.

Maybe he should have just been born mute.

"We need to talk about this."

"No, we don't."

"Why not?"

"Because... it was a mistake." He looked away, unable to meet your gaze, tearing a hand through his hair. Coward, coward, coward. "That's all there is – was – to it. We were drunk, and tired, and maybe... just maybe... a little lonely. So we made a bad decision – one we should just forget about, move on from. Because ultimately... it meant nothing. Not a damn thing."

It felt like an eternity passed before you answered, and when you did, your voice was heavy, rasping with emotion. "...If that's how you really feel, then–"

You choked. Nebarra could practically hear the words catch in your throat, dying before they could pass your lips. Instead, a low, bitter laugh rose suddenly in their place; the sound scraped his wounded heart raw. "Gods damn you, Nebarra. You're... really selfish, you know that?"

"Yeah," he mumbled. "I know."

But you weren't done. Because as you rose from the bed, the floorboards creaking beneath your feet, you continued, "You're also... a really shit liar."

And then you were standing before him, your hand on his chin, turning his face towards you, your gaze searching his. He couldn't avoid your eyes this time, couldn't look away from the storm raging within them: hurt, anger, confusion.

Because of him. Him, and his stupid decisions, and his even stupider words.

Yet, even as he stared, he could see something else in them, too.

Affection. Care. Passion. And... lo–

Why? Why him? Of all the people on Nirn you could want, how could you want the mess that was him?

"I don't know," you said softly, and Nebarra realised with horror that he'd spoken his thoughts aloud. "Because, gods, you really are a mess, aren't you? You're bitter, cynical, surly, arrogant, selfish, flawed to the moons and back, but..." Your hand shifted, brushing upwards to cradle his cheek, and the Altmer found himself holding his breath, afraid of what you'd say next, needing to hear what you'd say next.

Only, you didn't say anything. Instead, you simply leaned in, pulled him close – and kissed him. Before he even knew what he was doing, Nebarra found himself returning it, pulling you in closer, hands falling to your waist –

Wait.

No.

Stop.

What was he doing?

Breathless, he pulled away, nearly stumbling over his own feet. His mind spun; he couldn't seem to form a single coherent though. "What – what was that?"

Your eyes seemed to stare right down to his soul, burning with intensity, filled with both pain and longing. Yet a faint, bittersweet smile ghosted across your face as you answered, "Nothing, apparently."

...Damn you.

Before he could change his mind, think himself out of it, Nebarra caught your arm and tugged you sharply back towards him, crashing his lips back against yours. You stumbled from the initial force of it, but he followed your motion, keeping your lips on his.

After a moment, your arms slipped around his neck, one hand cradling the back of his head, the other tickling his nape. He grunted into the kiss, pulling you back towards the bed; you didn't resist, and readily fell back on it.

Nebarra fell with you, straddling your prone form, brushing his lips from your mouth to your jaw, nipping gently as he went. A soft gasp escaped you; his hands slid down, tugging your shirt – his shirt – gradually upward, pulling it off of you.

And immediately he sat up, got off the bed, and tugged it over his own head. Without a word, he walked away to the other side of the room, leaving you naked and stunned on the bed.

"...Nebarra!"

"Like you said," he muttered, stalking across the room and far from you, "I'm selfish."

He could hear a frustrated breath hissing through your teeth. "Damn you! Why can't you just admit what you feel, what you want? What are you so afraid of?"

The elf froze.

You could see right through him, couldn't you?

"You don't... even know me," he managed at last, keeping his back towards you. "You don't even know my name, my real name."

"I don't need a name to know you, though. Names aren't what define us – we define them. It doesn't matter to me whether you're Nebarra or... or Nico, or something else entirely. Because you're still, and always will be you, regardless of what name you answer to."

Gods, why did you have to be so damn stubborn?

"Pot, kettle, black," you sniffed, and Nebarra realised that yet again, he'd spoken aloud. "And who knows, maybe I picked some of it up from you in the first place."

Sighing heavily, Nebarra leaned forwards and let his forehead thunk against the wall. He stayed like that for a long moment, counting his breaths, trying to collect his thoughts.

"I'm not... suited for a relationship," he slowly began. "I wouldn't be... you have better options than me. People who could give you what you want far better than I could."

At that, you actually laughed, and he turned to look at you despite himself. There was no smile on your face, only pain and mockery; the sight drove thorns through his chest. "Who, then, O wise one, most knowledgeable of relationships? Who on Nirn can give me what I want, when what I want – is you."

He shook his head. "Well... you shouldn't. I can give you nothing."

"You aren't nothing," you said softly. "Your heart isn't nothing. Don't you get that yet, Nebs?"

"My... heart," he echoed, staring blankly at you. "My heart."

Shifting, you rose from the bed, wrapping a blanket around yourself as you approached. "Yeah, your heart. This thing–" you placed a hand over his chest "–that's beating right here, going at a million miles a second." Your eyes locked with his once more, and somehow, even before you spoke, he knew. He knew.

"I love you, you miserable bastard. And I want you, not for anything you can offer me, but for who you are. There's no doubt in my mind about that. Now, the only question left is... how do you feel? What do you want?"

He couldn't hide from it any longer. The truth was on his tongue, escaping his lips before he even had to think about it. "You. I just... gods damn it, I just want you," he rasped. "But..."

You placed a gentle finger against his mouth. "Shh," you murmured. "No buts."

Slowly, Nebarra raised a hand, brought it up to yours, and pulled it away from his lips, instead lacing his fingers with yours. "No, listen. I... this... is going to be complicated, if we really do this. And... you're probably going to get hurt and disappointed because of me. There's a lot you don't know–"

"And you can tell me when you're ready," you soothed, brushing your thumb across the back of his hand. "We'll cross all those bridges when we get to them. And yes, before you protest any further," you added, when his mouth opened to do just that, "I'm aware of the emotional risks. But that's part of every relationship, Nebarra, and you know that. So, again, when they do inevitably arrive, we'll cross those bridges together."

...He really didn't deserve you. Didn't understand how or why you wanted him, of all people. But as you rested your forehead against his, breaths mingling, eyes full of nothing but each other – Nebarra realised he didn't care, anymore.

The voices in his head, all the doubts and fears – they still hissed their poison, and he knew it would be a long, long time before they stopped. But a new voice had joined the mix, soft but confident, telling him that maybe, just maybe, life wasn't about "deserving" things, but appreciating them. That maybe, amid the bleak desert of his past, he could still find a lone rose of happiness.

And that voice... sounded an awful lot like yours.

#nebarra #nebarra skyrim #skyrim nebarra #whisper writes #finally. its done.#i feel like this ended up so out of character and im so so sorry about that but man i'm tired. i ran out of steam weeks ago.#i didn't even edit this bruh #i just wanted to FINISH it #sigh. anyway #i hope yall are listening to the songs i list on the fics cause dAMN theyre good and the entire reason these shity little scribbles exist #this one took. SO MANY SONGS to keep me going.. to give me the ideas and motivation to finish #the three i listed were just the biggest contributors #but there were LOTS more believe me lol #i go to sleep now. it is 11am and my sleep schedule is FUCKED mate #woke up at like 6pm yesterday evening #my whole system's wrecked #im rambling again lol gnight gnight i hope yall have a good one

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