#i'm so sorry @ black autistic people

[lucidfairies]

science class [e.w]

pairing: loser!ellie x cheerleader!reader

summary: when a new cheerleader arrives at ellie's college, face all dolled up and skirt-clad hips swaying, she all but wants to die.

warnings: smut, 18+ mdni, poc friendly, smoking, bottom!ellie, dom!fem!reader, tribbing, cunnilingus, nipple play, sorta thigh riding, overstim ‼️, ellie comes like five times

wc: 3.6k

top notes: I like accidentally made ellie sort of autistic but it's not my fault okay. also when I was writing this I was thinking abt how if this was a novel the reader would be black but I'm white so idk if I can like write that without like getting something wrong but sorry anyway

sometimes ellie wished she was blind. she wished that she couldn't see pretty girls, because maybe then she wouldn't fall in love with everybody. especially you.

she was two weeks into her sophomore year of college when you showed up. immediately blinded by your beauty, she almost tripped down the hallway as you walked past, in a short little skirt, and a white shirt. your ponytail flicked as you walked by, meeting up with someone you knew already.

she knew she was fucked.

when she arrived at her class, she was astounded to see that you were sitting in the seat next to hers, chewing gum and typing on your computer with cute blue light glasses on. like it was nothing. like her world wasn't crashing down in front of her.

standing in the corner of the lecture room, she debated moving seats. there were plenty of open ones, but you chose the one next to her? how was she supposed to survive this class with a pretty girl next to her, observing everything she does?

the answer is, she wasn't going to.

she was simply going to perish from the sight of you, from being in your presence, because she certainly didn't deserve to be and-

"ellie, would you please sit down? you're creeping me out." her teacher said, and she shifted nervously, then sped to her seat with her gaze trained at the floor. "okay, let's dive in, shall we?"

and the lecture continued. like you weren't right there. she couldn't understand why everyone in the world wasn't looking at you right now, absolutely entrancing, the way you took cute aesthetic notes and reapplied your shiny clear lip gloss.

"ellie?" you said, hoping she truly answered to that. she turned, meeting your eyes with a nervous smile and rosey red cheeks. "hi. I'm y/n. I just wanted to tell you that I like your sweatshirt."

it was a ratty old thing that joel had given her years ago, with a faded queens logo and a hole in the armpit that she had to sew back together every time she washed the poor hoodie.

"it's nice to meet you," she said quietly, tucking back a piece of hair that had fallen into her face. she realized how strange she must've looked and stopped quickly, "my dad gave it to me when I was like 11. I've had it forever."

you giggled. you just fucking.. giggled. "you aren't one of those people who just wears it because it's cool though, right?" ellie shook her head violently.

"no, I love their music. I wish I was born in the eightees so I could've listened to them live and.. yeah. I really like them." she turned away from you ever so slightly, nervously over talking and terrified that she was embarrassing herself.

"hey, you're good. I wish I was too. my favorite song is probably back chat, but keep yourself alive is a close second. how about you?" and you let this loser girl next to you talk. and talk. and talk.

ellie didn't know that you were intrigued by her demeanor in every way. from the stickers on her lap top to the patches on her backpack, every detail about her you noticed. you observed the way she warmed up to people and let you strike up a conversation with her about anything once you knew her. and it was... cute. really fucking adorable.

ellie's life only got a million times harder after that. to add to her series of neverending death sentences, she now had to see you in your perfect makeup and effortless outfits everyday. instead of just showing up to class, you insisted on talking to ellie. about everything. cheer, your friends, some dude that was hitting on you.

and on top of that? she saw you in the hallways, or on campus and you smiled. waved, even. some days you even talked to her. in public. you weren't afraid to be friends with her. and though she had jesse and dina, she still had very little social experience, and you were like a breath of fresh air.

on a chilly wednesday afternoon, ellie was walking to the building that your class had been in, and caught a glance of some other lesbian couple on campus. that settled it. she was going to ask for your number today, it wasn't like she was proposing marriage. just something simple. easy.

"can I have your number?" she interrupted you mid-sentence. and you smiled. of course you fucking smiled. she prepared herself for the notorious rejection, after hearing rumors of you rejecting everyone that came up to you and asked for your socials we. she wasn't just anyone, though.

"duh, you only took forever to ask." ellie was frozen in place. had you wanted her to ask? couldn't you have asked for hers? but before she could overthink too much, you were shoving your phone in her face and ellie was putting her number in. "anyway, as I was saying.."

ellie tuned out what you were saying, purely by accident. there were too many big events going on in her life for her poor brain to handle. the love of her life just agreed to give her their number, and she was plotting her route to dina's dorm as quickly as possible to tell her everything.

"holy shit dina," she huffed, running her hands through her hair. "I asked for her number so she gave it to me, and we talked! dina, we talked. about things. I already have our life planned out. we're gonna have two kids and a dog, she'll be a stay at home mom, because I'll do everything for her. I would kill for this girl, dina." dina was unimpressed.

"you are such a loser, els. has anyone told you that before?" she wasn't a loser, she was just incredibly and obsessively in love with you. ellie rolled her eyes. "I say make a move. you never know what could come of it."

"I can't," she sighed, trying to find words. "I can't just make a move, what if she doesn't like me? what if she thinks I'm weird?" she frowned.

"you are weird. if she doesn't like you like that, then fuck her. maybe start with being friends?" ellie nodded. she thought you guys were already friends, but technically you never hung out outside of class, and you hadn't really texted that much (she got your number today, but that hardly mattered).

"should I invite her to jesse's on friday?" dina rubbed the back of her neck. jesse was in a frat, one of the largest on campus that had absolutely wild parties on the weekends, which weren't exactly the best place for first dates. but to ellie... smoking and drinking around hot people in a random basement? amazing.

"if you think she's into that, I'm not gonna stop you." ellie was up and out of dina's apartment quickly, biking back to the dorms and planning out everything that was going to happen on friday.

- - -

in ellie's defense, she overslept. she wasn't thinking much about grabbing a jacket when she was already going to be ten minutes late, so when she stopped outside and the cool air hit her like a brick, she was less than prepared. but it hardly mattered. today was the day she was going to invite you to jesse's party, so her stupid jacket was like a blip on her radar.

"ellie, you're turning blue." you said, once ellie stumbled into her seat next to you. she was in nothing but a loose fitting tee-shirt and jeans, nothing to protect her petite figure. you hadn't noticed before how toned her arms were, but you certainly did now.

"I'm fine, it-it-it's not that cold." her teeth chattered as she stealthy tried to rub her hands over her arms to create friction.

"ellie, baby, I have an extra sweatshirt," you giggled when her eyes widened, grabbing the sweatshirt and handing it to her. "wash it and return it to me whenever." it was a bland black sweatshirt, but it matched your outfit, and you were more than happy to give it to ellie.

ellie who was most definitely going to pass out. she was probably just cold. it wasn't because she could smell your perfume on your hoodie that you just handed her. like it was nothing. she was going to fall out of her chair, onto the floor, and die.

"thanks," she pulled it over her head and sunk into it. "I'll give it back next class- what are you doing on friday?" she tried to get her thoughts straight while you looked at her with an adorable smile.

"I'm actually packing up and leaving, I dropped out," ellie's face fell, "oh ellie you're face," you laughed hard, and her expression softened. "but I'm not doing anything. why? wanna ask me out?" ellie was definitely blushing hard.

"my friend jesse is having a party at his frat on friday, do you.. do you maybe wanna go?" you tilted your head and looked away, as if you actually needed to think about it.

"hm, I guess I can fit that into my schedule." ellie released the breath she was holding and looked down at her hands for a moment before meeting your eyes again.

"uh that's great. it's kappa alpha, at nine. I would pick you up but I don't have a car,"

"how about I pick you up? what's your dorm number?" ellie texted you all the details, and it was settled. you were going on a date. together. in two days, and you were driving. ellie was on cloud nine- not even, cloud fucking ten.

- - -

"hey els," you giggled as she opened her dorm door. "oh, you look so cute! I'm definitely stealing this from you." you pushed a piece of hair behind her ear and messed with the corner of her collar, attached to a red flannel.

"oh thanks... it's yours if you want it." you knew if you asked she wouldn't ever have you give it back, maybe even give it to you right now. she stepped out of her room and shut the door, then followed you down the hallway.

"so who's this jesse kid? I hear a lot about him." you asked, turning on the engine and pulling out of the parking lot. the frat was on the other side of campus and ellie planned on walking? laughable.

"I really don't know him that well, he's dating my friend dina. he's a big stoner, but he's not super into the party scene. just goes 'cause the frat does." her eyes were trained out the window, not because she didn't want to listen to you, but because she was insatiably nervous.

"nice, nice." you paused for a moment. "are we gonna dance together or what? gonna save me a slow dance?" the tips of ellie's ears turned red.

"because I have such a roster." she joked, rolling her eyes. she would save every dance for you.

"perfect. is jesse's weed good?" she shrugged.

"it's okay. not as good as mine, and his plug is kinda shitty. whatever, it works. we're here." you pulled the car to a stop against the curb, in awe at how many people were coming in and out of the house.

ellie desperately needed to get high. maybe then she could talk to you like a normal person, not like she was trying to brush you off. when she found jesse, he was talking to dina and brushed her off. with a groan, she turned to find some other seller.

you were talking to someone, pretending not to pay attention to ellie skittering around the house talking to people she knew. maybe she wasn't as much of a loser as you thought, or maybe she was just a stoner. one of them. either way, she kept disappearing, but when you finally found her again, she was sitting on a couch, joint hanging from her lips as she talked with some friends.

"els," you fell next to her, taking the joint out of her mouth and taking a hit. "we should play beer pong." you suggested, smiling at her the way she liked.

"we were just talking about that," dina cut in, "me and jesse will play with you guys, won't we jes?" he turned back towards the three of you, dazed and a little confused. "that's a yes." ellie was burning lasers into dina, who was standing.

one of the tables was empty, and the group immediately moved to occupy it. you took your place next to ellie, teaming up with dina who was smirking at the end of the table. "you go first," you handed ellie the small white ball.

ellie was skilled, that's for sure. she made almost every single point, which had jesse drinking until he couldn't see straight. she was trying so hard not to focus on the way your bicep brushed against hers, and the way you giggled whenever you made a point. it just wasn't fair. none of this was fair.

"I definitely won." ellie said, as you made your way back inside. "you had, like, two drinks, max. I had jesse drinking for miles." you could tell she was on something now, the way she grinned and made eye contact and jokes were far from her usual character.

"don't you owe me a dance?" your hand locked with hers as you gently pulled her in the direction of where most people were dancing. you lifted her arm and spun her, pulling her back against your front by her hips.

ellie surely wasn't breathing. she was sure that she had died from alcohol consumption, or maybe someone stabbed her, and she was dead, in heaven. or a fever dream in a coma. there was no way in hell -in hell- that you were swaying your hips against her ass, cunt so fucking close to where she desperately needed you.

"this is fun, don'tcha think, ellie?" you whispered, voice low as you guided her hips with yours. her head fell back against your shoulder, alcohol wearing off as you ground her hips against your front. "I asked you a question, darlin."

"so fun," she muttered, eyes closed as she let you bring her hips back and forth with yours to the beat of the music. "wanna go upstairs?"

"ellie williams inviting me upstairs on the first date? dirty." you giggled, pulling away from her body. she was flushed, her boxers were already wet, and she had no clue what going upstairs entailed. but she needed you regardless. "lead the way, confident." she ran her sweaty hands down the front of her jeans and led you upstairs, to an empty bedroom. it was jesse's, and he wouldn't ever know.. right?

you were pulling her face against yours before she even got a chance to tell you that she didn't know what to do. you were definitely taking the lead on this one - not that ellie objected in any sense.

you nicked her bottom lip, eliciting blood at how chapped they were. you pushed your tongue into her mouth, smiling when she moaned and pulled you in by your waist. your hands traveled, brushing against her tits from beneath her tee shirt. obviously she didn't wear a bra, she was too cool and masc for that.

"you're desperate els," you sneered when you pulled away, pulling your crop top up and over your head. "take off your shirt and pants and lay down." ellie had no thoughts in her head; just you. you telling her to strip. this definitely wasn't a fever dream.

she quickly lost her shirt and pants, leaving lanky limbs and embarrassing boxers. her nipples were perked up, waiting to be sucked and slapped, and her face was red with a never ending blush.

when she laid down, you got on top of her, pushing her legs up around your waist as you sucked hickey after hickey into her neck. she was writhing and whining, begging for you to touch her further than just your hands still placed on her thighs. just from making out and hickies she was pushing her hips into you, clit hitting the fabric of your skirt as you moved to push your thigh between her legs.

"need you so bad," she whimpered when you finally diverted your attention from her neck down her chest. you left soft kisses between her tits and around them, before taking her nipple in your mouth and harshly sucking. like a false sense of security.

her hips were coming down hard and fast against your knee as you continued to mess with her tits, pulling her nipples between your fingers and grazing them with your teeth. she was just so fucking sensitive, and she barely even smoked anything.

knowing she was getting close, you moved your knee and kissed down her sternum, leaving a trail of shiny gloss as you got to the waistband of her boxers. "oh, poor baby, you've been waiting for this, haven't you?" you ran your thumb over the wet patch of her underwear.

"nghh- for so long," she moaned as her hips rutted into your palm. "I think about y- fuck- think about you when I..when I come," her eyes squeezed shut in embarrassment, knowing she was sharing far more than she needed to.

"do you now?" you teased, pulling her boxers down her pale legs. you added them to the pile of clothes and admired how absolutely drenched she was, practically leaking onto the sheets. "what do you think about, princess?" you were bringing her legs over your shoulders, looking at her expectantly.

"think about you- mh- about this," she was immediately distracted by the way you kissed her clit. "about c-cuming on your- shit shit fuck," you pressed your tongue against her clit and licked, before sucking it into your mouth and painting patterns with your tongue.

after keeping your attention directly on her clit for a few minutes, you circled her entrance with your middle finger, lubing it up before pushing it in to the first knuckle and fuck, she was tight, holding onto your finger to the point you could hardly thrust.

"ellie, you gotta relax. we can stop if you want to." she shook her head violently, unclenching her eyes and trying to breathe. her body released its tension, which made everything less tense, allowing you to push your finger the rest of the way in.

and... she came. just like that, barely a finger deep her cunt, barely doing anything.

"jesus ellie," you laughed to yourself. you didn't wait for her to finish before you started fucking your finger into her. she whined and thrashed to get away from your hand, but you added another finger and pressed down on her hip to steady her. you curled your fingers up just enough to hit that sweet spot inside of her and she almost black out.

"fuck- s'too much.. s'too much," she slurred, drunk on your fingers. the bed shook lightly against the wall at the harshness of your thrusts.

"is it really, baby?" you grinned, before taking her clit in your mouth again. her moans were practically louder than the music downstairs, and her back was arching. she attempted to get away from you, pulling her hips away, but it was no use.

tears welled in her eyes as her stomach tightened. her pussy clenched around your fingers, sucking them in deep. you pressed against her spot as she came, making her let out a broken shriek.

ellie was definitely crying now. especially when you didn't stop... again. you just kept pounding your fingers into her, adding a third. just thinking about how hard she would cum on a strap instead of your fingers had you dizzy.

her second orgasm morphed into her third before you pulled your fingers out. they were drenched in cum, which was dripping down your arm and the sheets. ellie's cheeks were puffy from crying, hips twitching as she tried to breath.

"oh sweet girl, we're not done yet." you wiped your hand on the bed and climbed off of her, stripping yourself of your remaining clothes and coming back over her, kneeling between her legs.

you pushed her leg up, straddling her for a moment. her lips were parted, breathing heavily as she waited for you to drop against her. your lips quirked up into a smirk as you pressed your cunt against hers, head falling back as your clits met.

ellie's pussy was wet, covered in cum, ready to be fucked until she couldn't say any name but yours. you thrust your hips against hers, and she was crying again, pulling and flicking her own nipples as she listened to you moan and reveled at how phenomenal your pussy felt.

she pushed her hips into yours, so you held them down, forcing her to take whatever you gave her. you came down against her pelvis hard, almost to the point where it hurt, but ellie was living for it, sobbing out your name like it was God's.

"can't come again- I can't- fuck, nnghh," you forced two fingers into ellie's mouth and she shut up, sucking them like a slut.

"yes you can." your voice changed, something deeper and more dominant ripped out of you as you got close to your orgasm. a rock in your stomach dropped, and you could feel ellie getting close as you picked up the pace, moaning at how her cunt felt.

you came at the same time, cum mixing and smearing all over both of you. ellie was still crying, back arched as she moaned over and over. you kissed her ankle softly as you came down for your high, climbing off of her after a moment and laying next to her.

"I want you to be my girlfriend," ellie croaked, voice still hoarse for all the crying. you giggled, looking over at her with a grin.

"I think I can do that."

bottom notes: this is the longest fic I've written and I actually thought I wouldn't be able to get more than 2k words.. anyway sorry about the abrupt ending I kinda wanted to be done

#ellie smut #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie the last of us #ellie williams #ellie tlou #tlou #maya writes #the last of us

[imhidingonceagain]

Can we talk about the amazing representation inside the QSMP?

These days I've seen a few people (haters for sure) saying that the QSMP has few to none diversity and that makes me mad so let me list the diversity of this two month old server:

Inside of lore

We have diversity in family dynamics:

-Homoparental families

-"Nuclear" families

- A Platonic partner family (I don't know what's the proper word to describe Jaiden, Roier and Bobby's situation pls tell me if you know/ EDIT: I've been informed the proper term would be "Queer platonic relationship").

- Single parents

We have LBTQ+ representation:

-Gay characters

Roier

-Bisexual characters

Vegetta, Rubius

-Aroace characters

Jaiden, Maximus (he's actually acespec)

-Lesbian characters

Baghera (EDIT: Idk about her anymore, sorry)

-Trans characters -including gender fluid and non binary

Juanaflippa, Tilín, Leonarda, Maximus, Trump

-Characters with disabilities

Richarlyson (the Brazilians noticed he has a shorter leg and that's why fanartists draw him with a prosthetic leg + we have collectively decided he's black).

-MLM characters -I'm making it a separate cathegory just because the characters haven't specified a label. But if you know their label lmk so I can edit it-

Quackity

Mariana

Slimecicle

Foolish

Forever

Cellbit

EDIT: (I JUST REMEMBERED!)

We also have neurodivergent representation:

Wilbur and Dapper (Both autistic)

Outside of lore (Real life)

From the moment Quackity included Latin Americans that already made the server diverse since us Latinos are one of the most diverse demographic groups in the world.

But still, let me elaborate:

Diversity of nationalities/ ethnic backgrounds

Mexican, English, Argentinian, American, Spanish, Norwegian (Rubius is half Spanish half Norwegian), Cuban (Maximus is half Spanish half Cuban), German and Japanese (Jaiden), Brazilian, Swiss and French (Baghera), Algeria and Turkish (Ètoiles) (for now).

We have people of color (some of them are clearly mestizos, meaning they have both native and white genes)

Quackity, Jaiden, Missa, Mariana, Roier, Forever, Maximus, Felps, Pac, Mike, Ètoiles, Spreen (please lmk if I'm missing someone I don't want to erase anyone especially because I'm talking about the actual CC)

We have diversity of languages:

Spanish, French, Portuguese and English (for now).

Now... The point that I've seen people the most confused about:

We also have LGBTQ+ REPRESENTATION IN REAL LIFE:

Jaiden (Aroace)

Rubius (Bisexual)

Vegetta (Bisexual)

Mike (Bisexual)

Tilín and Leonarda's admins (Non binary and gender fluid respectively)

Plus, the content creators that for now are classified as "Unlabeled" (Roier and Mariana)

There might be more that aren't out yet. Please stop assuming everyone's straight.

So yeah... The QSMP DOES have diversity.

(My only criticism is that we definitely need more female Content creators but hopefully we'll have them in the future. I'm looking at you Quackity, don't disappoint me. If I'm missing something let me know so I can edit it).

#qsmp #elmariana #slimecicle #foolish #Vegetta #rubius #Cellbit #fitmc #philza minecraft #jaiden animations #roier qsmp #Quackity #forever qsmp #wilbur soot #luzuvlogs #maximusqsmp #vegetta777

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Headcanons for Jennifer Check with an autistic S/O?

I love this idea so much- I took inspiration from some of my own experiences so this might not apply to everyone but I certainly did my best! I really hope you like it <3

Jennifer Check with an autistic s/o

Warnings: brief mention of meltdowns/sensory overloads, references to ableism/ignorant people, very brief (somewhat) joking mention of committing murder (it's Jenny, what do you expect), very salty and blunt language that I'm honestly not even sorry for

I honestly think Jennifer would appreciate dating an autistic person, especially if you're the type who's very straight forward or overly blunt about things

She probably thought you were a bit of a bitch at first I'm not gonna lie lol, but she makes that assumption about pretty much everyone when she first meets them

You'd seen each other around school before but your first real conversation was when you were paired up for some sort of science project. She was not looking or feeling like her typical hot and fabulous self, and while you weren't the first to notice you were the only one brave enough to point it out

"Have you been getting enough sleep recently? You have really heavy bags under your eyes"

Jennifer wanted to snap at you at first, thinking you were being sarcastic (because obviously she had bags under her eyes, she didn't need anyone pointing it out) but much to her surprise you didn't look like you were making fun of her. In fact, you seemed a little concerned

"Your hair looks pretty damaged." You continued, oblivious to the look of utter shock on her face that you would actually say something like that out loud. "If using both shampoo and conditioner is too much of a trouble I can recommend some two-in-one products. Or you can always use dry shampoo in between washes"

The woman was too stunned to speak. All she was able to do was mutter an awkward "thank you", something that you simply nodded your head at before turning the conversation back over to the project

She gained a lot of respect for you that day, as you were the only person who wasn't afraid to say what everyone was thinking (though she soon learned this was due to you not knowing what was and wasn't considered 'appropriate' to say)

Out of everyone, you're the one person Jennifer goes to (other than maybe Needy) when she needs an honest opinion on something because you won't lie to spare her feelings or try to flatter her

"Which tank top do you think I should wear to school tomorrow, the pink one or the black one?"

"Well, the pink one makes you look like slut. But the black one makes you look like both a slut and a bitch, too"

"Perfect. Black it is, then"

If you ever accidentally make a situation awkward or uncomfortable by your comments or questions you won't even have to worry about being embarrassed because she'll immediately come out with saying something so bitchy and/or vulgar that whatever you said looks innocent in comparison and is forgotten about right away

She'll get very protective if people try to purposely make you feel bad for the out of pocket things you say. After all, you're just telling people the truth, it's not their fault if they can't handle a dose of reality (her words, not mine)

Even though she loves to party she'll most likely either tone it down or just stop going altogether when she finds out you don't like them all that much because of the loud music, bright lights, small spaces crowded with lots of drunk people, etc. She'd rather be with you any way

Always lets you infodump to her about your newest interest or favorite thing, which truly shows just how much she loves you as she usually always has to be the one dominating any conversation she's a part of. Sometimes you wonder if she ever really listens until she gets you something relating to your latest hyperfixation and then you're like "ah okay so she does care :D"

Honestly she's such a trashy mcbling y2k girly (canon, she told me herself) that I feel like she's the type of person to buy you stim/fidget toys and then help you 'bling' them out by gluing on fake rhinestones and such because "you can't just walk around with boring accessories"

Is she the type of person to tease you/make a bunch of sex jokes if you have an oral fixation? Yes. Will she start carrying around lollipops, gum, chew rings, etc. in her purse to give to you when you're feeling distressed in a public place? Also yes

Totally understands if you don't like/can't eat certain foods due to pickiness, especially if this is after her demon possession. She goes out of her way to make sure the pantry is stocked with your safe foods and all your favorite snacks for whenever you come over so you won't run out of them

She may not be the best at comforting you if you're in the middle of a meltdown/sensory overload or if you start crying (especially if it's over something small) but she tries her best to be gentle, not wanting to accidentally make things worse. If you need physical comfort then she'll gladly let you wrap your arms around her and get as close as possible, but if not then she'll stay a safe distance away while trying to cheer you up with words of encouragement

Absolutely hates ableist people. Hates and will eat them /hj. She can't stand when people make you feel bad for not understanding certain phrases or not being able to pick up on social cues

If you're ever confused on something then she takes the time to explain it to you, and yes this includes her sarcasm. She can't stop being sarcastic for anyone, including you (sorry) but she can make accomadations so you don't feel stupid or left out

Jennifer finds your stimming so adorable, especially if you do it when you're excited to see her. The fact that you get so happy you have to make a physical show of it just to get the extra energy out warms her cold, otherwise unfeeling and bitchy heart

If you're a really physically affectionate person then she one hundred percent welcomes it and allows you to touch her at literally any given moment no matter where you are. If not, then that's all the more reason for her to feel special and loved if you ever do give her, say, a hug, especially if you have an aversion to touch

Speaking of which, if there are any clothes of hers that you don't like because the texture of it bothers you/makes your skin crawl then she simply won't wear them around you, and might even get rid of them so you can feel more comfortable touching her. This includes making sure her bed always has the coziest pillows and blankets and comfiest sheets for whenever you spend the night

Overall I think Jen would love you no matter what personality quirks you may have regarding being autistic, and she would never fail to tell you just how much she loves you for them

Main masterlist | Jennifer's Body masterlist | wanna be added to my taglist?

Likes < reblogs | comments are greatly appreciated <3

🏷 taglist: @anxiously-sad @iloveentrapta @ghot-girl @taecube @corn3liiia @gilmore-angel @your-next-daydream @alexxavicry @noisy-dumb-piece-of-shit @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous (if you were crossed out it means I couldn't tag you for some reason)

#gender neutral reader #x gender neutral reader #gn reader #x gn reader #autistic reader #x autistic reader #jennifers body imagines #jennifers body imagine #jennifers body x reader #jennifers body #jennifers body headcanons #jennifer check #jennifer check imagines #jennifer check imagine #jennifer check x reader #jennifer check headcanons #jennifer check hcs #jennifer check x gender neutral reader #jennifer check x autistic reader

[astr0exe]

K9 [COD MEN (POLY??) X M!READER] CH1

Ch.1 , Ch.2 , Ch.3

CAS’ MASTERLIST !!

reader is transmac and autistic cause i said so :)

AO3 VERSION : K9

SUMMARY: The boys meet someone new. He seems cool but his dog seems to enjoy ripping people apart.// The boys meet the K9 trainer

(first time transferring my AO3 work to tumblr so)

(my writing is also quite shit but hey ho)

( i project so so bad with this character)

(pls give me feed back)

CHAPTER 1

Soap's POV :

The Captain dragged us into a meeting and we have no idea why. I was busy watching Princess And The Frog after working out for ages, I just wanted to relax after so many back-to-back missions.

"Thank you all for showing up I do appreciate it, I know we are all probably tired, however I thought this was important to discuss before you saw them around the base." Huh saw who around base? Is someone new joining? I glanced around the room and caught Gaz's confused eyes.

"See who sir?" I asked cautiously, "___ they are the K9 trainer and his callsign is K9 because of this. He has a fully-grown perfectly trained cane corso who is with ___ at all times. If any of you are scared of big dogs then I am sorry because Bucky is huge. There will be a meeting introducing you all do not worry but I thought I should give you a heads up. Dismissed." Answered Price.

Whilst walking next to Ghost in the hallway I couldn't help thinking about what Price said. I don't even know what a cane corso looks like. Oh well, when I get to my room I'll find out cause Google is my friend. "Hey, Lt. Do you know what a cane corso looks like?" I questioned, "I think I have an idea, pretty sure they grow up to 70 cm (27.5 inches) ish and weigh up to 50 kgs (110 pounds) They are massive dogs." Ghost murmured.

I could feel my eyes bulging out of my sockets at the thought of a dog that big.As I finally got to my room, I instantly looked up what a cane corso looked like and I think I shit myself. I have to meet one of those tomorrow.

Time skip : meeting K9 and Bucky

We all sat in the common room for our introductions. Me and Gaz were playing uno whilst Ghost was just watching us like a babysitter would with two children whilst we were waiting for Price and ___. Slowly we heard footsteps, they sounded heavy like platform boots, you could hear heavy breathing coming from Bucky and mumbling muffled talking from K9 and Price. The footsteps gradually increased in volume until Price walked in along with an awkward-looking guy. He wore large combat boots which had to add at least 3 inches to his height, and a large leather jacket with lots of patches on ranging from band patches to quotes. Oh and a trans flag. Nice. His belt was studded like he bought it in the 2000s with added chains which actually looked heavy, he had black eyeliner on and a face mask. If he wasn't like 5"7 with his boots on I'd say he was terrifying.

After I finally stopped staring at this Greek god of an emo boy and got my shit together I noticed his dog, Bucky, who was eyeing everyone wearily as if at any point we would attack him or ___. With how intimidating they both look I think they suit each other.

"Um hi I'm ___ or K9 and I'll be training dogs you take on missions and sometimes taking the dogs on the missions myself. Nice to meet you all. As you all know, this is Bucky, he won't hurt you." He giggled towards the end and oh my god it's like I heard heaven gates open and when I gazed around the room I knew everyone felt the same with all the wide eyes and stuttering introductions.

"Well these are my boys, Lt. Ghost Riley , Sergeant Soap Mactavish and Sergeant Gaz Garrick. Boys this is Sergeant K9 he will be working with you as he described he will also be living on base and training with you lads so I expect them to come back to me feeling welcomed into the Taskforce is that clear?" Demanded Price. "Yes Sir." We all responded in unison.

As I observe K9 and Bucky I cant help but smile at how at ease he seems with his dog. I think he is gonna fit in perfectly.

#x male reader #x male y/n #cod x male reader #x transmasc reader #x trans male reader #cod fanfic #cod x reader #cas speaks

[nimona-antifa]

"Don't be ableist uwu!!!"

Okay quick questions then.

How seriously do you take The Game? If someone tells you, "I saw a post that says I won the game!" Is your response to immediately say "noooooo that's not how it works!!!" Yeah I know how it works. It literally only exists to inflict misery on others and that you supposedly can't win no matter what you do, wreaking havoc on people who have severe anxiety? Grow the fuck up. I'm sorry if this miserable piece of shit torture game is somehow something that you want to keep alive but newsflash. We're not all just sitting around in the utopian commune sipping martinis without having to stress about whether or not we'll have somewhere to stay next month or where our next meal will come from or whether or not the almighty capitalists decide we deserve to get our next dose of medicine so maybe just let the stupid game die.

How do you judge people who consume media you consider "problematic?" Yeah. Those media. Hazbin Hotel. Helluva Boss. Bayonetta. Etc. Like. I'm sorry if trans people who were already into the Bayonetta series were excited to buy the newest game in it and got even more excited to buy it when they fired a transphobic VA. Some people have depression and easy sources of serotonin are in short fucking supply for us and need our comfort media and you saying that we should deny ourselves happiness because you have issues with said comfort media isn't very leftist of you actually.

How much patience do you have for people who talk for hours about one specific subject? Actually. Genuinely. You can post about "OMG when she infodumps 🥺 choke me mommy" all you want. But when an actual autistic trans gal is trying to explain the lore of borderlands or TF2 and is stumbling over her words and getting nervous because nobody really likes her and she's been consistently shut down and/or ignored and/or bullied for what a nerd she is? How patient and understanding are you.

How much patience do you have for people who say, "I'm sorry, can you please say/explain that again?" Whether after 5 seconds, 5 minutes, 5 hours, or 5 months, there's multiple reasons someone might struggle with this. They might have memory issues. They might have hearing issues. They might have attention span issues. They might have ADHD. They might have DID or OSDD. They might be stressed out and have a million different things on their mind. Or they might have just missed what you said. They might have not heard it or they might have just forgotten.

The point is. I get that it's easy to get caught up in ideals and paper activism but you have to remember that not being ableist requires work. It means that you can't always judge someone by what they enjoy. It means that you have to actually treat disabled people like people. If you don't take actual people into account during your activism, it doesn't mean jack shit. Unlearn your biases. Hopefully this gains some traction but I am begging you to see beyond a black and white viewpoint.

#important #ableism

[genderfluid-culture-iss]

Is it strange that I can't tell if I'm ever fem? Like since I'm AFAB I have a hard time distinguishing me being fem from me just being to tired to care about being misgendered. I know I'm mostly masc, I'll call myself a dude and have always enjoyed being perceived masc. I know I've never liked my tits and that I get bottom dysphoria that I'll never be free of. But I can't tell if I'm calling myself a girl on purpose or not. Do I actually feel like my mother's daughter or did I repeat what others perceive me as? I don't know. To make it worse I never feel a strong gender to begin with. It's so hard knowing that I'm genderfluid but never knowing what gender I am.

Never being able to be, yknow fluid, sucks too. Cause even if I could figure out what gender I currently have no one seems to remember I'm genderfluid and not a trans man.

Sorry for the rant.

My own experience with gender is this: I KNOW I’m not cis. And I also know I’m not one set gender. And identifying as nonbinary has never felt right for me. I KNOW I’m fluid, it’s just hard to pinpoint what I am when I’m fluid.

But I’m also autistic, and this can be taken into account with one’s relationship with gender. It can make things more difficult—I know I read that autistic people tend to have a hard time figuring gender-related things out.

And obviously I don’t know if you are, anon, but I’m speaking from my experience.

I can recognize when I feel more masc, but it is hard to identify when I feel fem. Sometimes it’s really just a gamble—I’ll try on a “girlypop” type outfit and see if it fits. Usually I pair this with a black leather jacket. And if it feels icky, then I’m not really fem. And that’s okay.

Just experiment. It’s YOUR gender, damn it, not anyone else’s!

#genderfluid #lgbtq #lgbtqia #lgbtq+ #genderfluid culture is #genderfluid culture #anonymous #anon #Genderfluid help #genderfluid tips

[shooting-stars-only]

Please tell us how to get into IT without a degree! I have an interview for a small tech company this week and I’m going in as admin but as things expand I can bootstrap into a better role and I’d really appreciate knowing what skills are likely to be crucial for making that pivot.

Absolutely!! You'd be in a great position to switch to IT, since as an admin, you'd already have some familiarity with the systems and with the workplace in general. Moving between roles is easier in a smaller workplace, too.

So, this is a semi-brief guide to getting an entry-level position, for someone with zero IT experience. That position is almost always going to be help desk. You've probably heard a lot of shit about help desk, but I've always enjoyed it.

So, here we go! How to get into IT for beginners!

The most important thing on your resume will be

✨~🌟Certifications!!🌟~✨

Studying for certs can teach you a lot, especially if you're entirely new to the field. But they're also really important for getting interviews. Lots of jobs will require a cert or degree, and even if you have 5 years of experience doing exactly what the job description is, without one of those the ATS will shunt your resume into a black hole and neither HR or the IT manager will see it.

First, I recommend getting the CompTIA A+. This will teach you the basics of how the parts of a computer work together - hardware, software, how networking works, how operating systems work, troubleshooting skills, etc. If you don't have a specific area of IT you're interested in, this is REQUIRED. Even if you do, I suggest you get this cert just to get your foot in the door.

I recommend the CompTIA certs in general. They'll give you a good baseline and look good on your resume. I only got the A+ and the Network+, so can't speak for the other exams, but they weren't too tough.

If you're more into development or cybersecurity, check out these roadmaps. You'll still benefit from working help desk while pursuing one of those career paths.

The next most important thing is

🔥🔥Customer service & soft skills🔥🔥

Sorry about that.

I was hired for my first ever IT role on the strength of my interview. I definitely wasn't the only candidate with an A+, but I was the only one who knew how to handle customers (aka end-users). Which is, basically, be polite, make the end-user feel listened to, and don't make them feel stupid. It is ASTOUNDING how many IT people can't do that. I've worked with so many IT people who couldn't hide their scorn or impatience when dealing with non-tech-savvy coworkers.

Please note that you don't need to be a social butterfly or even that socially adept. I'm autistic and learned all my social skills by rote (I literally have flowcharts for social interactions), and I was still exceptional by IT standards.

Third thing, which is more for you than for your resume (although it helps):

🎇Do your own projects🎇

This is both the most and least important thing you can do for your IT career. Least important because this will have the smallest impact on your resume. Most important because this will help you learn (and figure out if IT is actually what you want to do).

The certs and interview might get you a job, but when it comes to doing your job well, hands-on experience is absolutely essential. Here are a few ideas for the complete beginner. Resources linked at the bottom.

Start using the command line. This is called Terminal on Mac and Linux. Use it for things as simple as navigating through file directories, opening apps, testing your connection, that kind of thing. The goal is to get used to using the command line, because you will use it professionally.

Build your own PC. This may sound really intimidating, but I swear it's easy! This is going to be cheaper than buying a prebuilt tower or gaming PC, and you'll learn a ton in the bargain.

Repair old PCs. If you don't want to or can't afford to build your own PC, look for cheap computers on Craiglist, secondhand stores, or elsewhere. I know a lot of universities will sell old technology for cheap. Try to buy a few and make a functioning computer out of parts, or just get one so you can feel comfortable working in the guts of a PC.

Learn Powershell or shell scripting. If you're comfortable with the command line already or just want to jump in the deep end, use scripts to automate tasks on your PC. I found this harder to do for myself than for work, because I mostly use my computer for web browsing. However, there are tons of projects out there for you to try!

Play around with a Raspberry Pi. These are mini-computers ranging from $15-$150+ and are great to experiment with. I've made a media server and a Pi hole (network-wide ad blocking) which were both fun and not too tough. If you're into torrenting, try making a seedbox!

Install Linux on your primary computer. I know, I know - I'm one of those people. But seriously, nothing will teach you more quickly than having to compile drivers through the command line so your Bluetooth headphones will work. Warning: this gets really annoying if you just want your computer to work. Dual-booting is advised.

If this sounds intimidating, that's totally normal. It is intimidating! You're going to have to do a ton of troubleshooting and things will almost never work properly on your first few projects. That is part of the fun!

Resources

Resources I've tried and liked are marked with an asterisk*

Professor Messor's Free A+ Training Course*

PC Building Simulator 2 (video game)

How to build a PC (video)

PC Part Picker (website)*

CompTIA A+ courses on Udemy

50 Basic Windows Commands with Examples*

Mac Terminal Commands Cheat Sheet

Powershell in a Month of Lunches (video series)

Getting Started with Linux (tutorial)* Note: this site is my favorite Linux resource, I highly recommend it.

Getting Started with Raspberry Pi

Raspberry Pi Projects for Beginners

/r/ITCareerQuestions*

Ask A Manager (advice blog on workplace etiquette and more)*

Reddit is helpful for tech questions in general. I have some other resources that involve sailing the seas; feel free to DM me or send an ask I can answer privately.

Tips

DO NOT work at an MSP. That stands for Managed Service Provider, and it's basically an IT department which companies contract to provide tech services. I recommend staying away from them. It's way better to work in an IT department where the end users are your coworkers, not your customers.

DO NOT trust remote entry-level IT jobs. At entry level, part of your job is schlepping around hardware and fixing PCs. A fully-remote position will almost definitely be a call center.

DO write a cover letter. YMMV on this, but every employer I've had has mentioned my cover letter as a reason to hire me.

DO ask your employer to pay for your certs. This applies only to people who either plan to move into IT in the same company, or are already in IT but want more certs.

DO NOT work anywhere without at least one woman in the department. My litmus test is two women, actually, but YMMV. If there is no woman in the department in 2024, and the department is more than 5 people, there is a reason why no women work there.

DO have patience with yourself and keep an open mind! Maybe this is just me, but if I can't do something right the first time, or if I don't love it right away, I get very discouraged. Remember that making mistakes is part of the process, and that IT is a huge field which ranges from UX design to hardware repair. There are tons of directions to go once you've got a little experience!

Disclaimer: this is based on my experience in my area of the US. Things may be different elsewhere, esp. outside of the US.

I hope this is helpful! Let me know if you have more questions!

#answers.txt #feel free to reblog with more advice btw

[pepper-needs-help]

Hi everypony

so okay I've been like Gone for three years lol (sorry to the few people i accidentally ghosted)

long story short my stalker found me and i had to delete my personal tumblr account and my paypal 🙃 but i remade my paypay and i can like provide proof of harassment if needed (tbh he probably has notifications turned on for this account if he knows it and i'll have to skedaddle again but i'm desperate lmao)

hello, i am a bisexual, autistic, mentally ill nonbinary (black+asian) poc living in chicago. i still don't have a job, and am in desperate need of help.

but anyways i'm like rly sick lmao and i probably maybe need dentures but that's gonna be on the back burner while i try to go to the doctor. i have insurance but i can't afford the copay and medications they'll probably have to prescribe me. tbh i was gonna like just not go to the doctor but my friends r getting worried so maybe that means i should also be worried???

also like we literally can't afford to get groceries unless we afterpay (4-payments plan service thing) uber eats and instacart e-cards to order groceries. also rent has increased since 2020 and my bank accounts and credit cards r in the neggy

anything helps and thanks for reading!

WAYS TO DONATE UNDER THE BREAK

c@sh@pp: $Pepperm1ntTears

v€nm0: @Peppermint_Tears

p@yp@l: https://www.paypal.me/CryingPeppermints

PS if u donate to my partner directly bc of the linked post on the word dentures (very clever) just remember he works full-time so if u get a tarot reading from him give him time please!!!!

PPS oh and also pls don't recommend reddit i cannot try reddit bc of a lack of karma and also the two day reddit blackout to protest fhfbfjf

#black lives matter #donations #mutual aid #signal boost #please help #lgbt pride #nonbinary

[solunstell]

List of bsd headcanons

Dazai:

Has bpd. A lot of his traits remind me of my friends with it

He some kind of trans. Nonbinary. Transfem. Transmasc. Idk he's megender lmao

He's described as appearing very youthful in the first two light novels. I imagine that once the events of the main timeline start picking up though, with all the time stopping or slowing abilities that *dont affect him*, he actually ages faster than the other characters. I draw current dazai with small wrinkles, which also hints at stress and stuff

Also, I imagine current dazai getting tanner as he works in the light, as well as getting more prominent freckles.

Round/doe eyes because that is part of his appearance in my opinion. Seeming unsuspecting and innocent, especially during his mafia days

Bad eyesight in his right eye from being under the bandages for so long. Saw this headcanon and loved it

Similarly, beastzai has bad vision in general

I always call No Longer Human an anti-ability in my head, fun fact

He loves to touch other people. Not a fan of being touched by others unless asked

I draw him with red eyes in color, and usually black eyes in ink (inconsistent artstyle my beloved)

Aroace spectrum

heavy sleeper. Very

Chuuya

FRECKLES and tan from sheep days

He likes to be close to other people more than actually touching. Presence over contact

That shade of eyes that changes colors in the light (but I use a grey base lol)

Also some sort of trans, but in a different way than dazai

Brownish red hair. Not blazing, not just brown

That man is AUTISTIC

One time instinctively kicked a friend with his ability active, expecting them to dodge cuz he's used to dazai easily dodging. They did, but they were SO CLOSE to getting hit. Imagine a confused face like wtf why you try to kick me

Light sleeper, but every now and then sleeps like he just learned how to close his eyes

A lot of his jokes go over people's heads because they expect him to be serious and his voice just doesn't change between serious and not serious

Ranpo

Autism plus adhd ftw

Aroace spectrum

Poe

He/they vibes

Anxiety

Gay af

I can 100% see him being into knitting. Imagine the guide plus ranpo all in matching sweaters

Loves baking. Sooooo bad at it

Lucy

Bi (with a lean towards girlies) she/it

VERY good at baking

But she won't share :(

Atsushi

Anxiety, so much anxiety

Aroace spectrum vibes

Very easily idolizes people and then gets surprised when they actually like being around him

Akutagawa

Aroace spectrum

Autism cuz he is so mecore sometimes

Very trans vibes from me

(I like to imagine him having tourettes cuz I have tourettes and I am Not projecting)

Atsushi (special kitty hearing) and jouno being the only ones who can hear some of his tics. He will be horrified that anyone notices them

Wait no actually I'm gonna incorporate that into my belief system. That's canon now

Mori

Genuinely cares about a lot of his workers, but not all of them

He gives great bonuses for birthdays

He absolutely loves vtubers if bsd were in a modern setting. Rip mori. He'd have also loved vocaloid lmao

Ozaki

Masc energy. Fem energy. Ooh I can see ozaki with any pronouns and identity

Kinda person to accidently either overpack or underpack. Always has painkillers, never has a pen

Ridiculous memory. Incredible gift giver. Would get someone something months or years after overhearing them say they wanted something once

"Whyd you get me a hairdryer?"

"You said you needed one. I saw it and thought of you."

"...that was months ago. I got a hairdryer already."

"..." *takes hairdryer back* "sorry wrong person. I don't have my contacts in my bad"

She has perfect vision

Kunikida

Trans vibes. In any and every direction

Adhd af

Will always conveniently have room in his schedule when Aya wants to go do something and needs someone to go with her. No, he's TOTALLY not frantically writing and erasing things, get your glasses updated

You can usually count on him to continue the bit cuz he won't realize there is a bit occurring

#long post #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd headcanons #bsd dazai osamu #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #chuya nakahara #nakahara chuya #chuuya nakahara #chūya nakahara #kouyou ozaki #ozaki kouyou #mori ougai #ougai mori #edgar allan poe #ranpo edogawa #bsd edogawa rampo #bsd ranpo #atsushi nakajima #nakajima atsushi #ryuunosuke akutagawa #akutagawa ryunosuke #akutagawa ryuunosuke #bsd akutagawa #lucy maud montgomery #aya koda #doppo kunikida #kunikida doppo

[punkeropercyjackson]

Headcanons on the Spiderband's favorite foods

I'm really sorry for not doing the full cast like i did with my other posts like this,the thought of having to do that many characters for this is too much for me even though i want to :( But i hope you like this anyway!!

Miles:Gonna project and say that despite being carribean,his favorite kind of latino food is actually mexican and his tops are loaded nachos and mexican hot chocolate.Other than that she's a BIG sweet tooth,especially strawberries!Gotta be one of her favorite gender's /lh.Naturally Hobie asks Rio to teach him how to cook all her faves

Gwen:Since i headcanon her as a black/white mixed dominican(projection part 2),her's are pechurina with fries,dulces de leche and huelitas.For drinks,she favors energy ones and the Spiderband have to physically force her to cut down on them for her own good

Hobie:Indian kinds of tea specifically,shortbread fingers,janga and brazillian pizzas.Yeah i'm serious on that last one,his autistic ass thinks they're gourmet meals

Pavitr:The especially spicy kinds chicken and cupcakes but refuses to eat the latter in 'white people flavors'

Margo:Junk food,fast food,desserts.She calls Gwen a menace as an in denial flirting tactic(also her ultimate favorite flavor fullstop in anything is cotton candy)

Peni:Okomomiyaki,dorayaki,sweet kinds of onigiri,pez and chili fries.Large love for large drinks

Miles G:To contrast Miles and because i must can and will make everything about my familial selfships,his is dominican and his tops are mangu with everything(so salami,onions AND eggs)and flan.He also hates ensure because one time they were almost all he'd eat for so long he didn't taste anything but the chocolate version for a week(and he dosen't even like that one)

Gayatri:Falalel because i headcanon as a (nonhijabi)indian muslim specifically and she also loves green tea,motichoor laddoo and shares Miles' love for strawberries

#spiderband #atsv #spiderman #miles morales #gwen stacy #hobie brown #pavitr prabhakar #margo kess #margo tag #peni parker #miles g morales #gayatri singh #transmascfem miles morales #black gwen stacy #team dad hobie #transhet pavitr prabhakar #punkflower #ghostbyte #t4t punkflower #t4t ghostbyte #trans 4 trans and autistic 4 autistic found family realness #food #poc #💌 #spider manager #nora morales #summerposting

[reanimatedheart]

AHHH this is my first time asking something on here so am nervous sorry~

I’d love to know how our romancable companions would react to hyper expressive auDHD MC? You know, theatrical kind of manner, not really much of a filter in terms of what’s proper to ask or say, lots of stimming and incoherent noises. Very energetic but can get quiet and dissociate easily. (Totally not asking to self-insert better before working on fanarts haaaa haaa haaa)~

Also I need you to know how much I ADORE this game. The lore, the world-building, the characters and the choices that actually MATTER. THE WRITING! THE SOUNDTRACK AND THE ART AUUUUGH!!! It’s so good, it’s officially my newest hyperfixation. Thank you for making this piece of art, I’m buzzing and can’t wait for moooore! And the gnome scene really was hilarious, I was choking on air and saliva, xoxo

Thank you for the nice compliments! I'm so happy you like it. :D

This is an interesting question. I try to avoid specificity with the MC because I want people to be able to immerse themselves in them as much as possible, but I do have a lot of thoughts about this scenario.

Black would honestly find it refreshing. I don't think he's accepted it himself (he doesn't believe in therapy LOL), but I'm pretty sure he's autistic. Esp if the MC is very blunt or makes their thoughts and boundaries very clear. Black is the type of person that misses a lot of social cues, and people make fun of him for it. He takes things people say very seriously. If the MC just tells him their thoughts, he'll remember them and act accordingly. And I think this would make the MC feel safe too, because they would feel like he's not playing games with them.

This scenario is interesting with Crux in particular. They aren't in the game yet, but actually, his bio dad and favorite little sister are like this, and he would be able to tell immediately. He won't make a big deal out of it, but he'll be adjusting around the MC. Take them to quieter places, make sure their seat is comfortable, etc. The MC will just find this out that oh, he's always playing obnoxiously loud music in the car and smoking, but he never does it around them.

I also think in a weird way, he'd be way more honest around the MC, but he won't let them know he is. Like Crux is the type of person that keeps his real feelings and thoughts close to his sleeve, because he has a whole complex about being "weird" in ways he can't control, so it's made him a bit of a liar. But if it's the MC, he'd just say his real feelings, because he suspects they won't judge him for it.

Vincenzo is complicated because he is very mentally ill and neurodivergent, but for most of his life, he was in an All Boy's Catholic Boarding School. He was bullied for being weak, weird, effeminate, etc. If he notices these traits in MC, he'll degrade them for it, and in a fucked up way, see this humiliation ritual as actually beneficial to MC, because it would teach the MC not to show strangers their neck.

But I feel like, if the MC gets closer to him, that he'd be able to face aspects of himself that he's tried to suffocate for years, and it would be liberating to him.

#asks #black lumaban #vincenzo maria fontana #crux hertz

[sophieinwonderland]

The problem isn’t plurality. The problem is the language around DID from plural communities and even the DID community. People who have DID but are in denial may take much longer to accept the diagnosis and work to better understand themselves because they may not be able to relate to how it’s spoken about in online spaces. Particularly people who do not feel comfortable viewing themselves as multiple identities in one. Although that is the most popular representation in both media and online spaces, more often than not that isn’t actually the lived experience. You just don’t see that representation as much because people with it are much less likely to talk about it due to the shame they have around it. Shame is often a major component of surviving trauma. Shame and dissociation go hand in hand. Nuance and awareness are both so important in these types of conversations. It’s sort of similar to how in the autistic community there’s a major lack of representation from nonverbal autistics, despite them making up at least 25% of the total community. The lack of representation doesn’t mean we can pretend to lack awareness of their existence.

I know you don’t believe you’re causing any harm but I’m sorry to say that you are. Which isn’t to say that no harm isn’t also being done to you. It’s just not such a black and white matter. I’m not speaking on behalf of anti-endos. I agree- it’s stupid to hate on a group of people for how they identify. I’m speaking on behalf of highly traumatized individuals who may be looking for answers and wind up getting lost and more confused.

I’m sorry if my intentions with messaging got lost in translation at all. I have a learning disability that affects my ability to process and organize language.

Thanks for the clarification, and sorry for misunderstanding your earlier post.

So let's address this.

Is this a problem?

A problem with this whole topic is, first, that I think we need to see some statistics.

And preferably recent statistics because I think identity has changed a lot in the last 40 years. Maybe there's a silent majority of people with DID who don't view themselves as multiple identities/people offline and are getting spoken over. But I would want to see evidence of that.

Even if some studies from the 80s or 90s showed that most people with DID didn't view themselves as separate people/identities, the advent of the internet age and ability to find community with others with DID likely impacted the culture around the disorder.

Even if this is the case...

Is this our problem?

End of the day, I'm a tulpa identifying as a tulpa. It seems kind of silly to me to think someone with DID would see me, a tulpa who is also plural, decide that because I'm a plural tulpa and people with DID are plural and they don't relate to me, that they can't have DID.

There are a lot of leaps there and most don't make much sense.

And all while the presentations you say are harmful are just as common in anti-endo spaces. Seriously, look at DID TikTok. Almost all anti-endo, and all presenting the way you say is a problem. And with much larger influence than myself.

So this issue, if it is an issue, isn't because of the inclusive plural community, and would clearly exist without it.

I don't think the plural label has anything to do with it.

Community Comparisons:

One of the main mantras you'll find in the plural community is that if you feel plural, you probably are plural. Every system is valid, no matter how distinct your headmates feel. Terms like "median system" were coined to denote systems who feel in between multiple and singlet, and still fall under the plural umbrella.

Meanwhile, the DID community is rife with fakeclaiming and gatekeeping of anyone who doesn't meet whatever arbitrary criteria armchair psychologists made up. All while, again, exhibiting the same types of traits you point to the plural community for. (And yes, you do say "even the DID community" does that. I just think you're underselling it a bit.)

Hard Truth: There will always be DID systems who won't relate to presentations of DID

DID, while having core traits in the way that there will be other agents or parts that can takeover, and there will be some sort of amnesia (under the DSM) is incredibly diverse in presentation.

Kluft wrote a paper outlining about 20 common presentations of DID he identified back in the 90s.

And it can only be assumed that more presentations have been identified since.

The reality is that not every presentation will be represented. Not everyone will be able to relate to every single person with their disorder. And there are going to be some people with rarer, or at least less popular presentations online or in pop culture, who are going to feel underrepresented.

Personally, I think starting from a place of "if you feel plural, you're plural" is going to benefit far more DID systems than it would harm, giving them space to explore their connections with their headmates regardless of how similar or how distinct those headmates feel.

It doesn't matter if they're people, parts, facets, voices or whatever else they decide to identify them as.

There are a lot of things that we don't relate to the majority of other plurals about. But I think the solution is to normalize being able to identify with something without necessarily having to relate to every experience under the umbrella.

#syscourse #pro endogenic #pro endo #plural #plurality #multiplicity #sysblr #system #systems

[shunnedmorlock]

Hi! What are your opinions on each of the greens ?

Have a good day/night!

Otto: I think he gets a bad rap, not in absolute terms but relatively to the people like Viserys and Daemon. If you hate Otto for pushing Alicent to marry Viserys, you should hate Viserys much, much more. Otto is "merely" complicit in what happened. There was no one Vissy could've said no to more effectively than Otto. It just goes to a double standard you see a lot with these farcical black-green debates where people change their opinions on whether it's ok to judge people by in-universe standards depending on what "team" they're a part of. He has a habit of telling unfortunate truths that get him in trouble, but most of the things he says are just, like, objectively true, but people don't want to hear it. Daemon is actually a danger to the realm and his brother, Rhaenyra does actually have to give the scions of great houses a hearing, Daemon did actually groom Rhaenyra to claim the throne, Alicent's children do pose an inherent threat to Rhaenyra by their mere existence.

From a Doylist perspective, like many other things, I think episode 9 really butchered Otto's character. All of a sudden the guy who has been working hand in hand with his daughter for the past few episodes didn't tell her about the plot to seat her son on the throne??? And now the guy who got fired by Aegon for being too slow and measured in his war planning is pushing to kill Rhaenyra immediately? And he wants to send the Kingsguard to do clandestine assassin work? And he's reluctant to ban child fighting pits for like no reason? I'm sorry, you don't have to be a feminist to not like that!

Alicent: I have talked about her at length. Nixonian Queen. I kneel. The war will make her worse, and I enjoy it. One of the characters I think on-balance the show improved.

Criston: Not a good guy by any means, but dismissing him as just a resentful incel is just boring. It's very clear he was, at best, conflicted about his tryst with Rhaenyra to begin with - he liked her, they had a lot of chemistry, but he does genuinely believe in his vows. The marriage thing is obviously silly and naive, but from his perspective it's him trying to do right by her (and also preserve himself and his soul), which puts him a step above many other Westerosi men who canonically often feel no obligations to the women they sleep with outside of marriage or the children created. There is a real difference in values between him and Rhaenyra that goes beyond him hating women, even if his values aren't strictly speaking good. I'm sorry, but the fact that a Westerosi man is as sexually repressed as an average Westerosi woman is genuinely a point in his favor! I sincerely hope he and Alicent make each other worse. Substantially improved by the show.

Aegon: This is going to be controversial, but baffling/over-the-top/ill-thought-out decisions like Dyana and the child fighting pits aside, I much prefer this version of Aegon to F&B. I don't care that he's kind of pathetic, that's fun, that's drama, that gives room for character development and growth into the king he ends up becoming. It's clear the writers do want Aegon to be kind of sympathetic, but it seems they didn't consider what stuff like Dyana would do to that, which to me indicates they meant the focus of that scene to be Alicent and her behavior, not Aegon. Which is stupid. One of the worse victims of inconsistent characterization, switching between vaguely sympathetic drunken frat bro to outright sex criminal every episode, or even in the same episode.

Helaena: I like what they've done with her. It's more interesting for her to be a doomed neurodivergent prophetess than just a little dumb, even though she hasn't done a ton so far. Similarly, in an RP I was a part of, Jaehaera was depicted as not simple, just autistic and it was much more interesting.

Aemond: BORING! Don't care about this guy, sorry. Maybe I'll like him more when he is pathetically down-bad for Alys Rivers, but right now he's just like budget Daemon to me, who I also find boring. He was more interesting as a bullied teen.

Larys: He's a tough guy to adapt because his motivations are kind of nonsensical behind a vague idea of getting back at Rhaenyra (?) for dishonoring his brother (??) by putting his children in line for the throne (???). The foot thing is kind of gross and I do wish they'd have given him an actual motivation but whatever. The actor's good and I do like him and Alicent on balance. Improved by the adaptation.

Tyland: We love our little bureaucrat don't we folks? Hope he gets more screen time later on.

Jasper Wylde: FUCK YOU SHOWRUNNERS WHY IS THE GUY WHO HAS HAD ONE LINE THIS ENTIRE SEASON PART OF THE COUP BUT NOT ALICENT FUCKING HIGHTOWER??????

#hotd #asoiaf #alicent hightower #otto hightower #aegon ii targaryen

[mossy-green-aka-ferrythem]

Watched the recent episodes of Dungeon Meshi, 15 and 16 I believe. Man I love this story. First of all, episode 15, where you can really see how much each and every one of these characters care for one another! But then in 16, things get a bit... messy... first of all, everyone is here, which is quite nice! But then you see how the larger world works and how other people act, function, and think...

I really am actually feeling distressed at the position Laios finds himself in. It's like, he really does care a lot, but his care isn't quite reciprocated... Kabru notes that him not "exterminating" orcs is him failing his duties as an adventurer, Kabru puts on a front of delight when he hears about Laios and his monster eating habits... and just... god Laios resonates with me so much as a character and I just can't keep it in. In it's current state, Kabru represents something that I fear. The idea that every mistake I've made, every miscommunication, every dealing coming back to haunt me... and how he takes delight when he hears about the use of Black Magic, blushing with joy and thinking to himself "Oh wow! This is way worse then I thought!"... I'm sorry everyone... but someone like this awakens a visceral sense of distaste in me... I'm sure my thoughts will change as the narrative progresses... but the way Kabru, being a devout adventurer as he is, sort of in a way seems to represent that career, and what larger society represents... the sort of joy of a peasant, hearing that the town eccentric is being sent to the gallows... the idea that Laios and his party deserves to be locked up forever, with not even the corpses to return... after everything I've lived through... it sort of mirrors what I fear the most. The idea that every single mistake that I've made will come down on my throat like a Guillotine, and have my head rolling across the ground, to someone's feet, and they pick it up, look at my head, and say "serves him right".

Anyways, that got awfully personal, but it makes sense. It's an intensely personal narrative with intensely personal themes and characters. Time and time again Laios just resonates with me in such a special way. I myself, being autistic, just so viscerally feel and understand Laios. Being so passionate like that, having such intense difficulty interacting, but still wishing to do so out of love, the idea of wanting to share one's passions, only to be treated as a sort of freak... like, I'm sure if I were to share my interests in certain media and the philosophies they follow, and get into actual, sincere, media literacy, the average person would probably disparage me... it concerns me so... I would imagine Laios feels a certain way like that, with his passion for what it is to live, to consume, to be nourished by the flesh of monsters that he so cares about, and understands...

EDIT: Man I really have to bring my awful awful anxieties and insecurities into me posting my thoughts about Dungeon Meshi, huh?

#dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #delicious in dungeon #laios touden #laios dungeon meshi

[thatdogmagic]

So, there's some posting going around, and after being alerted to what exactly is being made public, it's pretty clear I can't go with my initial inclination which is 'leave this alone.'

First things first:

a) I'm not going to fight any accusations of having done something potentially racist. I'm a white person raised very white; when I was made aware that the default ways I was responding to things were reading very poorly in the context of a white person and a black person, I apologized. No matter how I feel about what's happening *currently*, I still am sorry about it. I really hadn't thought of how it would come off until I saw it in hindsight.

I can't say for sure what all is being referenced aside from that instance. I'm not going to be the best judge, for the reasons mentioned above. The best I can do is absorb, apologize, keep learning to be better, and continue to chip away at the boneheaded 40yo white person shit.

b) re: ableism, the sad irony of the screengrab posted is that I was having an autistic meltdown at the time (which, no, is not an excuse). Use of the r-slur, in reference to myself, is a very sure sign I'm in the middle of one, reaching for an impact word and choosing a really terrible one. Like the verbal equivalent of hitting yourself, giving voice to what are, yes, at root, ableist thoughts that live in my head about my own diagnosis. I can and do get very frustrated with my autism sometimes, especially when I 'fail' to learn fast enough to manage it (read: fail to prevent a meltdown).

I'm also genuinely sorry people had to see that, both people in the chat and now, everywhere. I did, yes, delete it because I hated it being there, and I didn't want especially that to be the footprint I left on the server, if it was ever repurposed/the channels weren't recycled (brief note on that later).

Anyway yeah it's something I really need to work on. And it's disheartening to see it cherrypicked when everyone there was aware of the context, but yea; if you see some really wild shit from screencaps, please keep in mind that a lot of it has already been extremely cherrypicked/context is going to be missing. If the whole conversation isn't present, ask to see it.

That's the heaviest stuff that needed addressing.

The accusations of character theft are another thing, because that involves Ependa, and a conversation I had personally with Jackal that was settled amicably a year ago. Or so I thought.

It's the one conversation I did think to save in its entirety, because I just-- had a feeling it might end up being in the cherrypicked pile, or removed from the record entirely. I didn't expect to have to need it this soon, but here we are.

So here it is, in its entirety:

All of that is true, on my end. I was the one who told Ependa to go with a darker complexion on Lacey, and it really didn't quite occur to me at the time that it'd be much of an issue. It should have. The characters are distinct to me in a variety of ways, but as said in the screengrabs, it's a small pond. Past that, if there was more we could do to differentiate then it wasn't discussed with either of us, and we were both open to making further alterations as-needed.

This is not the first time this conversation has been had among werewolf creators, fwiw, or the first time we've had to chat amongst ourselves about potential crossover. I've had to have a similar talk with another artist I know and respect because there were a few too many similarities going on with a set of pieces I was already working on.

Ependa had to recently have that conversation with Trashasaurus (which I'm paraphrasing a Ependa's request), re: commissions that had requested a character that had taken a lot of visual inspiration from both Lin and Toska. She'd noticed Toska's traits and vibe and wasn't entirely comfortable with it, and upon learning they had been requested asked Trashasaurus not to take on those commissions anymore. Trashasaurus agreed and that seemed to be the end of it, save to drop some warning about the 'Lacey talk' which-- well. See above. That's it, in its entirety.

If Ependa wants to post the logs of her conversation, she can, but I'll leave that up to her.

So, that's the heart of the matter at the moment.

It's yet another fallout of yet another failed project by yet another group of artists. It's a tale as old as time, and I would've really loved to have not given it fuel, but the r-slur thing backed me into a corner and needed to be addressed. And if that was being addressed, then others things needed to be addressed, too.

The thing about character theft, though-- yeah, IDK. If there was a problem, there was a year to solve it, and the offer made to post publicly about the oops/acknowledge it right there in that moment was genuine. So far as anyone knew, this had all been settled, and any time it was brought up after there were a million assurances that it wasn't an issue.

Last: I deleted my presence on the server because I a) wasn't sure if it was going to be repurposed and wanted a lot of very personal conversations/old images removed if that happened, b) was frankly concerned about something like this happening; cherrypicked conversations getting tossed up online if things got any worse. I used undiscord, which deletes chronologically, because deleting everything is easier than finding specific conversations/image files.

Because the worst of the fights happened last, well. Yeah it's gonna look like I'm deleting the worst parts first.

I also wouldn't have willingly agreed to be on a server using third party logging software/deleted message retrieval plugins, either, had I known that was in play, but that's a 'live and learn' moment for me, unfortunately.

Anyway that's it, that's all. I can't tell anyone how to think or feel about any of this. I'll be here and will continue to post art, though, for those who still feel like sticking around.

#admin #reblogs off

[obsessivevoidkitten]

So obviously your drama with that one asukasa or however you spell their name is over, and you prob don't wanna hear abt it anymore but I recently checked their account to find out your fans have been harassing them.

Obviously, you don't control your fanbase (as you've said) and I am in no way Tryna put this on you. But some of your fans are straight up being racist.

Like it's not your fault, of course you don't seem racist at all, from what I could see on your account. But I just wanted to bring this to your attention cause it's like strange.

Cause it projects your following on you, it's weird your followers worst insult towards a petty tumblr argument is "you're black 🙈🦧 monkey". Im just saying from any outsider point of view, it'd look bad.

Also the anon sending you fatphobic "jokes" is a total limp dick clown. So I'm in no way on their side, I just wanted to point out both sides of the following are kinda being dicks (the harrasement on both sides I mean) .

But regardless of that, I'm sorry to bother you. I. Hope you have a happy holidays. (Also I'm sorry if my wording comes off as passive aggressive or bitchy I'm autistic and tone through text is kinda hard for me)

I have over 10,100 followers. I am sure some of them are not going to be good people. And if people choose to be absolute idiots and judge me for what a follower does then they are welcome to do so. That is horrible that they did that, and I hope they get reported and banned from the platform. At the very least I hope they see this and reflect on their unacceptable behavior. Also it wasn't a petty argument, they were telling me to commit suicide and telling me I needed to be executed via lethal injection. I feel like you are trying to make me out to be the bad guy because you're really downplaying what that side said and then trying to apply what a racist piece of shit said to be representative of me. But I am so tired of people coming to me about what a follower did. Especially after I ALREADY said previously that I do not condone or support or encourage my followers doing such things. I am done responding to people blaming me for what other people do. I hope this statement has been very clear that I do not condone racism or people telling others to harm themselves in my name. I literally do not know what more I am supposed to do.