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alena-draws · 1 year

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Hello Alena! i Love your loose sketchy but colorful art style! 😍 I'm a fellow artist but for years i've struggled with trying to just sketch and be loose. I'm always taking even just a post-it-note sketch so seriously and automatically try to be a perfectionist and add in all the details! it's frustrating since i also can't get all i want to sketch done because i'm being meticulous with each sketch. even with just a simple lineart sketch. you're so great and wonderful at what i'm trying to accomplish. do you please have any advice?? 😫😩😵🥴 I love how you do the smooth lineart and expressions for the Bnha characters btw!

Hi! First of all, thanks, I'm glad you like my stuff! <3 I actually have a friend who's quite similiar in that aspect, she can draw super well, putting hours of work into one drawing until it looks perfect. That's a dedication that I admire, because I'd never have the patience to spend so much energy for one artwork! On the other hand, I see how that could get in the way of wanting to work faster and looser. I've always scribbled and sketched a lot, so when I struggled it was always the other way round, having to learn not to rush things. But I'm sure it's something that can be learnt as it is with pretty much everything :) I'll try to give you advice of what I think might be helpful, but different people like to work in different ways, so some of that might end up just not working for you, while other stuff might. (I'll be putting this under a cut, this could get longer)

One thing that might be helpful could be the medium you draw on! When drawing in a new sketchbook or having a nice white sheet of paper in front of you, I tended to get intimidated and think that I need to fill this paper with something nice and beautiful, so as not to "waste" it. Especially with new sketchbooks, I think everybody knows that feeling...Now, nearly all drawings and sketches I do are done on left over paper from me and my partner, stuff that would have been thrown away otherwise because one side is already printed on. It takes away the pressure of having to give it your all, because, if it would land in the trash either way, I can't ruin or waste it by doing only sketches and little doodles.

While we're talking about mediums, you might try changing the pencil. I'd try something that won't give you such clean lines, so that simply by using this pen, you are already limited to how detailed you can get. I enjoy using coloured pencils now and then, like a red polychromo, they allow me to make light sketches and then, when I put more pressure on it, I can simply draw with the same pencil over the sketch, but making the newer lines stand out more and thus putting focus on special parts of the drawing. This is sometimes not that easy with a normal lead pencil, black will always stand out more than a light red for example. I also like to draw with 2B or 4B for sketches, and don't sharpen the pencil too often. :) Keeps the line a bit blurry sometimes, and I can put a quick shading on if I want.

Now, getting more to some actual drawing advice, learning to be quick with a drawing, without caring so much about how it might end up looking, this might be something you'll have to properly learn doing...like, for example, setting yourself time limits for a drawing. A classic, though still good way to do this, is by using figure drawing videos like this. It will show the person being in different poses for maybe 1, 2 minutes (later on it will get longer) and that's the time you have for one pose, not longer. It's tiresome and overwhelming at first because you won't know where to start, but it will actually give you a feeling for movement of the body, learning which lines to draw, and which you can leave out and still convey the body language and make it a convincing, realistic sketch. In a way, what you want to achieve with a sketch is often quickly show a scene, or a pose that you want the character to be in. It doesn't have to look beautiful or cleaned up, but it must be (or at least it would be nice if it were) convincing, using only a few lines, but conveying what a finished drawing will or could look like in the end. That's where figure drawing lessons are really helpful, because it will help you get a feeling for how you can quickly make a character look like they are e.g. sitting, or angry, or ready to jump in the air...and so on. Phew, I could talk a lot more about this, and I would eventually end back up at me advicing everybody to learn anatomy, but it's always a question of what you want to achieve in the end, and if that is really necessarry for you and where you want to go with your drawings :)

Hm, another small thing might be no try not using your eraser for sketches? Just put it out of reach, and if there's a line you don't like, either ignore it, draw over it, or start anew. I'm wondering if this is actually helpful or just stressful, but it might be worth trying out. It might help to get past the idea, that your sketches have to look good!

For now, that's kinda all I can think about. This topic is super interesting though! I might not be the best person to give advice here, so maybe ask different people too for their approaches. If I can think of any more stuff, I'll write that in another post, for now I hope this is someway helpful, even it's not that much! Good luck with your art!

#asks #drawing

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hitechlatte · 1 year

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if you're still making the visual novel thing, do you have any advice on starting one? I really want to make one, but don't know how

Sorry for the delay in my response on this! Wanted to take some time to collect my thoughts and it took longer than expected!

So yep still working on on my game, but I have some bugs that I haven't been able to fix, so no updates yet. Hopefully I'll get some free time to work on those soon! And for the advice, I'm happy to share! Click read more to see my thoughts:

Tip 1 - Paper Prototype/Design

So especially if you've never made a game before, I'd recommend sketching out your game before making anything. This could be with actual paper or just in like a google doc or slideshow. This way you can detail out how you want the game to flow, so you don't spend a billion hours trying to make something just to find out it looks bad or won't work. (TOTES didn't learn this the hard way) For a visual novel specifically, I would recommend maybe just writing out the story in a google doc, like write out the story with possible "stage notes" referencing what may happen on screen so you can more easily determine what art assets you would need! Here is an example of the sketches I made before I started working on my coffee shop demo:

Tip 2 - Start SMALL

Start SUPER small, especially if its your first game. Like come up with your idea and then CUT IT IN HALF maybe even a third or by ten! Like keep cutting away until you have a super basic idea you can test out and then after getting the hang of it, then I'd recommend doing something longer.

For example, if you wanted to do a visual novel where you bump into a love interest at a library and you see them every time you study for a month, chop it down to just one day and test out a flow to see how the idea would work.

For example in the game I'm currently working on, I'm just starting with a single customer on a single day and testing out all the features with him before I start moving to random NPCS or multiple days.

Tip 3 - Plot out your branches in a visual way

If your visual novel has branching options, make sure you have some way to check the flow of the story so you don't run into dead ends without an ending and to make sure you can check for plot holes.

For example if one branch the player decides to be mean, it wouldn't make sense for the character they are talking to to suddenly go down a branch where they say something super nice.

If the program you're using to make the visual novel in has a flow to view that's the best way to do it, but if not, then I'd recommend drafting it out in something like Miro (which is free btw, just requires an email sign up), or some other program where you can draft out flows. I mean if it's super simple branching even google images could work.

Tip 4 - The program doesn't really matter

Especially starting out, it doesn't really matter which game engine you use. The only thing that really matters is finding something you can learn quick so you can start getting your hands dirty.

If you don't have any engines in mind and would like some recommendations for free software, I feel any of the following would work:

Godot

Good for beginners, especially w/o programming experience from what I've heard

Heard it has some limitations if you want to do anything more complex

I haven't used godot yet, but I've heard nothing but great things! (I'm hoping to try it out soon, so I'll let you know once I get around to it!)

Unity

Require you to code, but it's usually pretty simple to get started as far as code goes.

The tutorials people have online are pretty awesome, and usually pretty good to follow along, and if you want to branch into more complex stuff, you'll have already learned the Unity basics.

I started learning game dev in Unity and have been using it for years so I always recommend it, but that's just what I've gotten used to.

Ren.Py

I don't know a ton about this program, but its what the Grunkle Stan Dating Sim was made in, and that game was super awesome.

And also this is made for visual novels so it should have a lot of useful tools and features.

Yarn Spinner

So this isn't an engine, but it's something you can add to Unity or Godot to help you with adding in the dialogue.

I haven't had a chance to use this, but I've been meaning to mess around with it. I've heard nothing, but fantastic things.

Tip 5 - 80/20 Rule

I always use the 80/20 rule when making games, to help prevent stress and burnout. 80% percent of the stuff I add to my games, I know how to do, while 20% is the new stuff to learn.

Now since this is your first game, you might be like Yo! I don't know 80 percent!

But to that I say HUMBUG! You know more than you'd guess! If you've ever written stories before, then bam, the story writing is part of your 80%. Just make sure to stick to a simple story that you know you'd be able to write!

Do you doodle? Bam some of your 80% is art! Stick to making art assets, only as complex as you've drawn before!

Obviously this is more a guideline, so the TLDR just make sure to focus on learning one or two main things and then keep everything else easy, so you don't burn out!

Tip 6 - Free Shit is AWESOME

Don't know art or can't make music? Use assets from online! There are tons of free assets people post stuff online that you can use.

This way you can focus on this harder stuff and get some of the easy stuff out of the way.

Some free resources I use are as follows:

Game Assets: https://itch.io/game-assets/free

Audio Files: https://freesound.org/

Music: https://www.bensound.com/royalty-free-music/2

If using Unity, they also have an asset store. Also I think steam and humble bundle have free stuff you might be able to use too.

There tons more sites out there too, these are just the one's I've used in the past.

I will mention too, I'd recommend not paying for anything in the beginning. Because you may buy all these programs and then never use any of them again, and there is tons of awesome free stuff to use while starting out. That way you can figure out what areas of game dev you like more and buy programs as needed.

Tip 6 - Chaos is inevitable

Everything will eventually blow up in your face.

You'll spend two hours screaming at the same bug to just realize you forgot to hit save.

You'll delete files by mistake and lose hours of work.

You'll spend two weeks plotting out a story idea to realize it doesn't make any sense.

You'll spend a month working on a game idea to realize you hate the concept and it's not as fun as you thought.

You'll show your game to someone else and they won't get it because you didn't make the controls easy enough to use or understand.

You'll KEEP finding spelling errors in your dialogue after vigorously spell checking everything.

You'll get frustrated and want to swear off making games/visual novels and just abandon project after project.

BUT

THAT'S

OKAY

Art isn't easy in any form and game dev is just art with math so it's the perfect storm.

So don't be too hard on yourself when you inevitably fail.

And know too, all your failures will make you smarter and you'll get better so when things click, you'll make something you're super proud of.

I have a graveyard of games that will NEVER see the light of day. Games I fell in love with that I'll never finish.

And that's okay.

Just like with exes, no matter how bad or messy things get, we can be grateful (most of the time), because we learned something about ourselves and we can grow from it.

So TLDR, don't be too hard on yourself and enjoy the journey! Make games that make you happy and just take developing at whatever pace works for you.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk and I wish you the best with whatever you make!

(Also if you need someone to play test I'd love to check stuff out <3)

#game dev #visual novel #indiegamedev #indie game design

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maridotnet · 2 years

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Hi!! I was just thinking about your Very Sad piece for day 23 and wondering about your drawing process, particularly because of the complexity of the water - do you sketch in pencil first? If you have the chance and feel comfortable, do you think you could share a couple of in progress shots of your beautiful art? <3

ARGHRHGH okay i had MOST of this answered and then my page suddenly crashed, so I'm very frustrated, but I'm DETERMINED to type it all up again! First of all thank you for the ask! :D I don't usually take very many in-process photos, although I might do that for today's so I can give you a better look. :) For this piece, I started off filming myself dragging around a body pillow as reference footage for the pose. Meet Chat Noir!

(My room's a mess because I still haven't finished unpacking, don't mind it lol) If the poses I want are very simple, or don't interact with each other, or I've drawn similar ones, I don't always need a reference. In most cases though, I'll either spend some time on Google Images or photograph myself to help. I went through my footage and found some frames that I liked, and sketched some of them out in a different sketchbook. It's bigger and I like using it for planning and reference practice. Here's that page!

Because I draw with traditional media, and I'm trying to do all of these pictures back to back in one sketchbook, I try to plan it out in a fair amount of detail before starting on the actual page. Once I get going, it can be tricky to shift things around, especially because I always sketch in colored pencil. (I think it looks nice, it's not as messy as graphite, and it also has a subtle bearing on the mood of the final piece. This one is a dark blue-green because I wanted it to look really waterlogged, but I've used pink, purple, or yellow for a lot of Marichats so far.) The pose here was something I put a lot of thought into because I wanted it to be close enough to show how protective and intense Marinette was, but also with enough distance that I could clearly show the strain on her body and his weight in her arms. The story is also important to all of this, especially in the sketching stage. I knew Chat would be floating partially, so that would affect his weight. I knew Marinette had been looking for him for a while, so her hair was plastered to her face - and she'd gone out in a hurry, so her raincoat was unbuttoned. Chat had been slumped in an alleyway for a while as the rain fell, so the blood was diluted and darkened. etc etc I picked the Place des Vosges for the background because a) it was simple b) trees and fences are pretty easy to wreak havoc on! (this is so long sorry) I sketched the people first, to make sure the pose fit into the frame, then added in some background markers, and a few directional lines to remind me of the water flow direction (I knew I wanted her fighting against the current to bring him home). I lined the people first too, leaving out the pupils and mouths til later, because those are the main indicators of emotion, and I wanted to make sure they would still work if the mood of the piece shifted. From there I lined the people in ink, added more detail to the background sketch to make sure it fit around them well and was still clearly readable, and then inked that. For the water...idk what to tell you, I was winging it which is funny because that's the part everyone's commented on the most sdflkjdf I did use some references (I googled like, "water moving past rocks") to see how water responds to obstacles, but water is really difficult to draw, so I just kinda...wung it and tried to create something genre-appropriate! I steered clear of realism bc I knew I wouldn't be able to pull it off very convincingly and would get bogged down in all the deatil it's possible to include. (@davey-in-a-minivan of the very big brain pointed out that the water looks like peacock feathers) After that, I think I lightly colored the people first, then the background, so I could keep a handle on how they affected each other. Again, the story is important here too, because it makes the clothes shiny, and darker if they're absorbent, and the water darker and with more debris because of the turbulence. I do have a picture I sent to a friend part way through:

After that, I just kept going until I was happy! I like dramatic shading, so I added in a bit more as I went, but because light on a foggy day is pretty diffused, I didn't do as much as usual with that. I added more detail to the trees and sky behind because it didn't fit well with the rest of the piece, and eventually I got here!

And voila!! I hope that offers some insight hahaha - thanks again for the ask :))) (I might take more progress pictures of today's project for the future)

#viv talks #ask #lad-bug-and-chad-noir #mari.net art #art process

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runeterrankhaleesi · 2 years

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Hi, I really really hope I did this correctly! (and wasn't too much) This is my first time doing a matchup haha. I hope I sent this in on time in your timezone, I kept putting this off bc i'm shy :,D I understand if you can't do this, and regardless, thank you, love your works and have a nice day/night!

Could I get a matchup for Valorant please?

My name's Robin! I'm a gay 5'5" trans dude and I get a little huffy about my height, but mostly in a jokingly angry way. I have short, fluffy (messy, really...) bright white/platinum blonde hair and like to dress comfortably with a bit of urban streetwear-ish style.

I study games design, and specialise in doing the concept art! I'm always fond of coming up with different character design ideas and plot writing. I love drawing, scrapbooking, writing, along with actually playing video games. I can spend a lot of time doing these hobbies and tend to forget about time while I work/play.

Personality wise, I'm quite an impulsive person and thrive off doing whatever comes to mind as soon as possible- which also leads to me being a bit impatient. I swing in mood from rather deadpan/neutral to excited/active. I daydream quite a lot too, and once I'm focused on an idea/scenario, I can get quite caught up in fantasy. Hyperfixations are my middle name. I get quite nervous/shy about sharing my interests in fear of boring the person, but I admittedly get very excited and enthusiastic about sharing them once I get some affirmation. I can be a bit mischievous too and love to mildly irritate and make my friends laugh with snarky/sarcastic humour, and love to find humour in most things. I'm quite nervous in terms of touch and like to be the one to initiate. I also don't have the best perception of myself so I don't really believe someone if they tell me I look good.

My attention span is horrific and I hate staying still for movies, and staying still in general so sometimes I like to just stand up and bounce about to get it out of my system. I tend to bounce between activities too. I also overthink a lot of things and spiral, and apologise a lot if I feel I've done something wrong, mostly because anxiety likes to do the talking in my head sometimes.

Again, I hope this isn't too many words, I have trouble being brief ^^;

[A/N: Aww anon darling, don't worry! You did this correctly! And you gave me everything I needed to instantly find your match, thank you for that.]

I pair you with...

CHAMBER!

Chamber is at least 6 foot tall, you're a chibi compared to him (his words) and the fact that you get fussy about your height motivates him to tease you ever more.

Sure, Chamber's got the drip with a dash of class but he loves your urban streetwear style, just looking at it makes him comfortable, it's simple but cool, it's the definition of "less is more".

Just like you, Chamber's a designer-albeit for weapons, he's a designer no less. If you ever need any help designing clothes for your character, Chamber's one call away (he loves to dress people anyway). He wants to support you in any way about your career/hobbies, he would help you brainstorm ideas or study game designs with you, pointing out any details you might've missed or speaking about his thoughts/opinions on the game and how could it be improved.

Of course, to get your brain working, you need food; sustenance. Chamber does not hesitate to get his credit card out to buy you any food you want, you want to order from some high-end restaurant? You got it! Or you want some fast foods, get a meal from McDonalds with a drink on the side, you definitely got it!

And he's aware that you can lose track of time when you're doing your hobbies, he thinks it's amazing that you're so invested in you're work that you're in your own universe. In times like this, he gently reminds you whenever he thinks that you need to take a break or when it's late and you need to go to bed.

Unlike you, Chamber is more of a "I calculated every move and every possible scenario, therefore I am ALWAYS prepared for the worst" kinda person, he plays chess when people are playing checkers. It's only natural for him to be patient and observant. Whenever you start to feel impatient, Chamber is quick to provide distractions. I.e: you have been waiting in line for almost 20 minutes now (though that will never happen since Chamber always make sure to get into the VIP section) and you're starting to feel a little angry, Chamber will do what he can to calm you down, from simple hand holding while brushing his thumb against the back of your hand to straight-up PDA where he hugs you from behind, resting his chin on the top of your head.

He enjoys your constant mood swings and compliments that it's a nice breath of fresh air. The unpredictability is telling him and encouraging to let things flow; to embrace the chaos rather than always be in control.

Yes, you can always infodump on Chamber, no questions or permissions asked. Just grab him, pull him into your room, make him sit down and start talking. He's loves listening to you rant about any topic, even if he doesn't know it very well. He would nod as you go along and sometimes, he'd respectfully interject you to ask questions or provide his theories/opinions.

He can get pretty mischievous too, though rarely. He prides himself in being a classy and always composed man, but there are times when he indulges in pranks, you can never see them coming. One thing is that Chamber is very smart and is a master at banter, he's quick on his feet to think of comebacks and witty remarks.

Chamber is a firm believer that people should be more confident with themselves, one way to feel confident about oneself is wearing the right type of clothes. He finds you beautiful everyday and never forgets to tell you that at least once a day.

And he knows you can't sit still during any kind of activity and will gladly offer his hand for you to hold and squeeze like a stress ball. If not, he makes sure to bring something for you to play with like an actual stress ball or a hand fidget toy-the one that looks like a controller, he wants to make sure you're comfortable and wants to keep your anxiety at bay if he can. Panic attacks are a rare occurrence but whenever it happens, Chamber is prepared, he pulls you into a quiet and crowd-less space, doing breathing exercises and makes you focus on him, he even covers your ears to lessen the noise, brushing his thumbs on your cheeks to comfort and even wipe your tears, telling you that you never have to apologize for anything.

💝~Happy Valentines Day!~💝

#runeterrankhaleesi #valorant #valorant x reader #chamber #chamber x reader #LMMU #lmmu #love month match up

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rain-fluff · 1 month

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Journal Eight

For the past month, my mom has been actively trying to clear out unwanted material possessions that take up space in our home. Granted, it is a nice idea as a means to get rid of clutter but it peeves me that included MY personal clutter as well. I can't say that I can condemn her efforts though, at least she's helping with clean up and would asked if I wanted to keep some things or not.

During the process, my mom stumbled across not only old dolls I used to collect (which are probably really pricey now due to them being discontinued) but also my old drawings from primary and secondary school. It was both a cringey and heart-warming experience seeing how much I've grown in terms of my art skills. I just wish that half of it wasn't so cryptic and edgy but alas that is simple apart of youth that you can never escape from. In way, I'm also quite envious of my past self for having a really strong drive for taking the time to draw that much when in comparison to now, I only wish I could have half as much of that energy. I won't get rid of these regardless because I'm someone who clings to past momentos a lot. I should really keep them away somewhere else though.

In terms of entering the second week of Ramadan, I'm glad I can actually fast this year without it being disrupted by my health complications. I couldn't fast at all last year due to me dealing with my PCOS so at least there's more progression this year. However, I still need to take some pills and lose weight; which is something I've been neglecting for a few months now. My hospital check-ups used to be every other month or so but I felt bad going just because the funds add up and I don't really want to burden my parents financially anymore than I already do. It's difficult since they're both retired so I try to make do where I can and do art commissions where I am able.

Speaking of art commissions, I wish I could give more details of a specific client but I hope they don't comission me ever again. They left a rather distasteful comment that made me regret accepting their money in the first place. I'm still grateful for my other clients who have been patient and kind to me for my work delays however. I really hope they don't request more of my work anytime soon because working on their piece definitely more of a chore than it was enjoyable (ironic how that was the exact reason why I dropped out of art school huh).

Asides from that, my new doll is finally in Malaysia! It's still at my friend's place and I'm a bit broke to deal with shipping at the moment (I'm sorry to say that is like the third entry I preface how broke I am) and I still don't quite have clothes for her yet. It's been hard to find cute clothes that aren't too expensive and my shopee cart looks like a whole catalogue for doll clothes now reaching the 100s. I definitely need to clear out my cart here and there.

Well, it's safe to say that week is tiring and I spent most of my weekend sleeping in my hermit hole. Maybe I'll have more to note in my next entry. Maybe I won't but I hope not truly.

-rain

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erickaproto · 2 years

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Time Capsule: Part One

Click here to find the post: https://soundcloud.com/erickappleid/sets/time-capsule?si=e00cc2e87c3a4e88a459513876f92d5b&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

For the Part 1 of my time capsule project I decided to release a mini poem album of acrostic poems based off my four chose Time Capsule objects. I shot a photo for the cover art to this album which includes all four objects.

I chose to use spoken poetry as my narrative device for this project because I have been writing, reading, and using poetry as a creative resource for almost 10 years. Poetry has always been something that just felt right to me. Its something that I always find myself coming back to and is often a compass for me whenever I'm feeling lost in my creative journey.

Luckily, for this project I almost immediately knew what objects I wanted to choose. But I found myself feeling incredibly nervous to actually post myself talking about the objects. I have a very contentious relationship with posting on social media but I sucked it up for this project and made it work for me which I'm happy with. Since i had been working in audio production professionally I feel that I am a tad bit less self conscious when it comes to audio since 1. you don't have to show your face. 2. I have more experience with publishing audio work. This by no means means this is a perfect project but if it is actually terrible I could always just change the profile name and pretend like it isn't mine. Just kidding.

I did enjoy the process of this project though as overall it brought me into my favorite creative space which is working with writing, sound, visuals, cameras, and lighting.

First I wrote my four poems. Each poem is titles and corresponded to a different time capsule object

PHOTO OF OBJECTS

Something Gifted: A poem about a gold earring I was given to within the first year of my life right after I got my ears pierced. It is the oldest personal object I own

Something Earned: A poem about a balaclava which was gifted to me in the middle of Covid by my younger brother.

Something Found: A poem about a surrealist painting I found on the side of the road of a cowboy trampling what seems to be a worm like creature as he rides off into the distance.

Something Shared: a poem about a The Anxious Gay Science a book by Georges Didi-Huberman that I read in the middle of the pandemic during an internship with a professor that basically changed the course of my career/life

For me I often have found that writing stories about the things that happen to me can prevent me from getting across what is more important which is the feeling. I often can get so bogged down in the details of the traditional narrative structure of a short story that I find that even if I write something completely accurately to how it happened it can still get the situation completely wrong whereas the abstraction of poetry allows me to convey what I felt, am feeling and will feel about a certain event. Given that the nature of this project is a time capsule I feel like my goal would more so be achieve using the method I used to convey a narrative that could movie with time.

After I wrote my poems I started working on photographing the cover art. I decided to use my small digital camera for this. At first I was going to do a photo series using film, an old digital camera and my black magic pocket cinema camera but I thought Id rather save the works for the final piece and allow myself some practice with a camera I havent tested out yet. I was happy with the results. The process was a bit difficult as I was limited in resources in terms of space since I now lived in a shared space but I made it work. i used a bedsheet to create a backdrop and played around with different filters on my mini studio lights to see what color balance would work. It was hard shooting alone but nice to to have full control.

Once I figured out lighting the rest was pretty simple just tweaking here and there. Overall im pleased with the final result though if I could chang anything I would figure out a way to have the earring be more apparent and given more time I would have produced some beats to accompany the poems.

Click here to find the post: https://soundcloud.com/erickappleid/sets/time-capsule?si=e00cc2e87c3a4e88a459513876f92d5b&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

#SoundCloud

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streaming-yn · 3 years

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(☁️)

HIIII it's 3 am and i'm trying to sleep but brain went brr with ideas n shit and oh well- thing is ; i was wondering if i could make my first request? (smth simple if u want to, no need to be very long or anything + pls don't rush nd take ur time AND don't feel pressured to actually do my request :] ! ) maybe smth ab faceless art streamer! y/n [they/them]?? (if u could add that the reader is like an indie game dev or works for smth like that u'd be sosososososo cool omg) with maybe quackity, tommy, dream, ranboo, niki and/or jack?? idk brain did the storming and its all messy hsdnshhfjsjz (btw! i know it's a lot of CCs so feel free to remove some or do the ones ur only comfy with !!! take care nd stay safe !!! luv ya <3 (/p))

AS SOMEONE WHO LIKES TO GAME DESIGN, CHARACTER, AND PLOT DESIGN YOU BET I CAN MAKE THE READER AND INDIE GAME DEV (and aaaa ty for adding jack!!! I think he's really neat and not enough people acknowledge him :))!!)

Multiple x indie game dev!artist!y/n

pairings: quackity, tommy, dream, ranboo, niki, jack manifold (separate) x indie game dev!artist!y/n

pronouns: they/them

other information on the reader:

. faceless

. knows how to code

. artist

. streams them drawing video game characters

. minor

. makes indie / horror games

form: headcanons

genre: platonic, fluff(??)

warnings: horror games / horror mods, ranboo enderwalk lore in his section

abbreviations: y/n -> your name

quackity

okay let's get the obvious out of the way; definitely going to be the type of person that's like "I'm going to play this game first after you're finished" yk? playfully ofc, n playfully fight with anyone who says the same thing (*cough* Wilbur, tommy, dream *cough*)

he probably wouldn't be on your art streams often – he doesn't really enjoy watching people draw, but he would want to see the finished pics

he would happily be on voice chat with you while you're drawing though!! :D

would be proud to answer any questions you have about character / scene / etc designs!!

"quackity!! so for this character – check your dms for a current picture – would red or purple antenna be better? also, two or four antenna?"

"*gasp* you're asking me?? 🥺" /j

"y'know what, nevermind, chat wh-"

"NO WAIT WAIT"

"so what do you think?"

also, if you do end up sending him the finished pics of the art he will hype you tf up !!!!

would try to get you make joke games – not like actually, it's just an ongoing bit between you two!

if you make a game for him – or give him a sneak peek of a game before anyone else he's going to freak out!! and he won't really know what to say bc putting feelings into words is hard

if y'all ever meet up and you're fine w hugs he's gonna give you a huge hug, hoping that makes up for the lack of words to describe how just,, proud of you he is bc he really really is!!

you're not even in your 20s yet and you can make video games, or help with them?? not to mention how creative you are with the characters and story line??? he's amazed by you

might actually cry /pos if you base a character off of him

like let's say a part of a puzzle is to get a rubber duck and place it into a pond to get the next hint or thing you need – only when he plays it on stream, he doesn't know anything about the game, so you're watching and waiting for him to get there

when he does get there – he finds out the duck has a beanie and has a white ring appear around it that flashes to life before fading out after picking it up, signifying it was the right thing to get

at first he doesn't really notice the ring, "oh! that animation is different than normal" he notes, but mainly focuses on the beanie, comparing it to himself before he glances at chat to see them freaking out over the planet duck reference

then he's just talking about it, shocked of course but flattered, and then you type in chat "you helped me a ton with things I couldn't decide during this game, I couldn't not add you! :)" everyone's just :(((( !!! /pos

overall supportive n proud, maybe a bit loud about games in progress, but just a really nice guy in general :)

tommy

he is ABSOLUTELY loud about your games in progress!! if you don't want something said you have to tell that to him before telling him or else he's going to brag about how cool it is the next time he streams

"chat!! chat, y/n is making this new game and they told me that one of the outfits you can collect for the player is going to be based off me!- right!! that sounds pog!!"

if he ever accidentally let's anything slip on stream that he was supposed to say, everyone who's a fan of you is just like "wow! suddenly! I cannot hear anymore!", sometimes they're like that even if it was okay to say

the just like being surprised :)

as for art streams, he'll try his best to tune in but obviously won't be there all the time! he's usually very active in chat too! likes being on call with you while you do art streams if you let him!

he once convinced you to make a texture pack and a shader (meant for both to be active at the same time), the fans loved it and a lot of them use it more often than the original!!

tommy however, not to much, proud of you bc that must've been a ton of work!! but at some time it slipped his mind that you make indie and horror games; I think we all know he doesn't do well with horror games

so you liking horror and such made the textures look more ominous and just make it look like and area you don't want to be in, and the spook goes up even more with the shader!! it's darker than usual, there's unusual fog, the portals look too dangerous now, so on and so forth yk

so,, tommy didn't use the texture pack for long;;

if you ever raid him after you're done streaming and he has a question, he's literally just gonna ask you on stream

"y/n raid? oh! are they still here?" when you confirm you're in chat, he continues "great! okay I had a question about your new game that's going to be available soon and how to download it-"

fans love how casual you guys are about game information, like you had to teach him how to export a game character he made on the website you usually make yours on (it was for a fun stream) and it was just a simple back and forth but everyone's like omg :((( omg them :((

also if you're the type of person to go insane over tiny details in other games, he will absolutely tease you for it

like you can just be going on and on about how this game had a sentence at the start that had a backhanded meaning by the end and he's just gonna call you a nerd (genuinely thinks is cool how much of the small things you notice in games though)

dream

COMPLAINING ABOUT CODING AND HOW HARD IT IS 🤝🤝

and if you took other coding classes hoping that I'd help with video game coding he'd just listen to you talk about it

"I actually took robotics for a while before because the school didn't have any video game coding classes and I was hoping it'd help either way" "oh?" "it,, it didn't help, it's so hard to code robots and considering how fast I caught onto video game code you think it'd be easier to understand the robot code" "yeah, that sounds reasonable" "NOPE,, WHY R THEY SO DIFFERENT I ALMOST FAILED" "D:"

fanartists like those moments, if one of those talks happen expect a bit of fanart of just dream and you chilling while you talk and he listens, the art always gives off comfy vibes n it's just cute :)

offering him to play a semi-rough draft of the demo so that he could see if it's good or what you needed to do to make it more enticing for the player

power duo fr fr o/

people like comparing y'all to hackers sometimes bc y'all know how to code???

you play into the bit with the fans though and honestly it's so fun !!!

fans: omg,, hackers (affectionate),,,

you next time you stream: hacker voice; I'm in

AND THEY GOT SHOCKED??? LIKE THEY FORGOT YOU CAN SEE THE STUFF THEY POST????

wouldn't be able to watch your art streams for long because he would get side tracked, the streams are just too under stimulating for his brain to focus on, but he'd hang around as long as he could though :)

would be glad to be on call with you while you're doing an art stream – though if he has is game sounds on you may occasionally have to repeat a question that was aimed at him

you're also in his streams when you can :)

also, you like sending donations to communicate rather than chat

one stream dream turned off his donos because you wouldn't stop giving him money 💀

being friends with such a popular creator and being a game creator yourself has it's downs as well

nothing thats too hard to deal with – the most common one is actually kinda funny – some people will slide in your dms acting like they're dream and just got locked out of his account, trying to get you to make them a game

like ??? do they think that dream would mssg you over Twitter or insta?? he has your phone number bro ,��

also!!! when dream plays through new games you made he complements the small things and complements how hard something must've been to code :)

and I'm ngl, he kinda sucks with every game he plays at first but he's a quick learner so dw :)

would be glad to help if you're having a difficult time choosing between things too! except he'll answer right away without any teasing

"dreammm" "y/nnnn" "for this area should I do like shattered stone walls or mossy stone walls like with vines n stuff?" "depends on the vibe you want, shattered stone would give it a dangerous and uneasy undertone and mossy stone would be more of ominous, if that makes sense?" "oh! okay, thank youuu!!"

ofc if you didn't have a specific vibe or couldn't choose which was better he would just give a straight up answer so you didn't stress out trying to choose one \o/

would absolutely like being a guest in a drawing stream, he isn't the best at art or character design but it's fun to see him try

maybe you both plus some friends do a "drawing Minecraft mobs from memory" stream? ,, with that the thing is; his would mostly be relatively accurate if you could understand wtf he was drawing 😭

dream may or may or have some of your art as his phone homescreen, he loves your style so much :(( /pos

ranboo

first off; he's incredibly impressed!! like!!! you made this game?? this playable game, completely from scratch??? how??

also you may or may not have made a small Minecraft mod for him to tryout on stream,, little gift from you to both chat n ranboo 🤲

its literally all based off his lore,, if you get close to obsidian and crying obsidian fallen down from Undertale starts playing, if you splash water on yourself 1) you get hurt 2) your screen blacks out and when it comes back, your in a different place than before, some things art taken, maybe a few extra things are added

and there's a 50% chance that when you go into your "enderwalk" state (the blackout) you blow something up, so there may or may not be an explosion somewhere nearby, you also have a 20% chance of building something small in you enderwalk state :)

he found it so incredibly cool!!! chat was crying while complementing you while ranboo thanked you and complemented you over n over again

he won't shut up about how cool the mod is for several weeks, maybe even a few months, it's just so cool!!

will absolutely use it as a comeback if you let him; "oh? you got first place? well y/n made me a really really cool mod, so who's the actual winner here?"

will absolutely play every single game you come out with – it doesn't matter if it's his style or not – and he thoroughly enjoys all of the games as well

as for art streams, he will absolutely try to tune in every time he can!! active in chat and donos!!

doesn't really like being in art streams – like in call is fine but actually drawing? not really, he just doesn't love drawing in front of a ton of people

but will join an art stream if you ask

will listen to you rant about whatever, even if he doesn't understand it! like will listen to you go on and on about how well a game set up the atmosphere or maybe talking about how difficult coding is, and he'll converse back with you but won't really understand yk?

"ranboo I just played a really cool game do you wanna hear about it?" "yeah yeah- of course!!" "ok so like, the atmosphere was so well put together- like it was a horror game and I didn't even see the monster but the vibe was so well put together that it was still unnerving!!" "that's awesome! how did the atmosphere get set up the best and when you saw the monster, was it scarier?"

yk what I mean? like engages in convo so you don't feel bad about talking so much, plus shows his interest without the constant "hm?" "cool" etc a lot of people do and even though he does talk more than the acknowledgment sounds many people make he also manages to almost never sidetrack you and when he does it's on accident :)

if your way of learning is teaching then he'll gladly be the person you teach it to if you want! most likely won't use the information therefore his brain won't retain it but that's not on you, and the whole reason is so you can learn, not him, so! ^^

will make sure to take care of yourself, and he has a through way of telling if you have or not bc he's known you for long enough to know that even if you try to hide it a little bit of your tired voice shows so he knows if you've been sleeping like you should

also friends with you on discord, where you have your Spotify attached,, you like listening to music while you work on things that aren't sound related and if it's active later than it should be he's going to confront you

overall wholesome mixed in with a little pain bc both of you are like "ah yes, lore <3" and like to see fans cry /lh

niki

I feel like this is expected but if you need to get extra motivation she would probably be your go-to

she hypes you up but like, in a sweet and quiet kinda way, where as everyone else here would probably be relatively loud ;;

honored to be on an art stream if you invite her :')

and would absolutely watch your art streams when she can :D hypes you up in chat

also compliments, tons of compliments!

might call you a prodigy? bc you're so young but can already make games?? and make income off of them?? and do really good art??? and so much more??? like tell me that's not prodigy energy,

if you make a video game character based off her she might cry,, like in a positive way obviously but like at the same time :(( no don't cry!!

I say might bc it's dependant on how she feels that day yk? like she might just have the almost-cry wobble to her voice or she might actually, if that makes sense?

she genuinely loves your art style!! even if it's pointy and kinda creepy she really likes it!!

yk the "awww (name) :(" /pos she does sometimes? 100% does that with you

there are a few compilations of just "aww y/nnn" on YouTube and all the comments on those videos are just crying over y'all /pos

would be happy to help if you're stuck between some options in a game, but would feel kinda bad bc it's your game, you're supposed to be the one choosing the stuff

assure her that it's okay n stuff n she'll be ok tho !

I can't decide if she would play your games or not

bc on one hand she's a huge supporter of you and your work and would like to experience it first hand

but on the other hand she isn't the best with scry games,,

so maybe she'd do both? maybe she'd react on stream to a playthrough, maybe your playthrough? or maybe she would only play some of your games? I haven't decided so up to you I suppose!

jack manifold

genuinely amazed by your talent and will make it quite clear!!

can and will go on tangents about you on stream if someone brings it up

everyone is so :(( <333 /pos bc of it

will play the games you've made as soon as he can

if there are different games that line up in a story he'll make sure to play them in order :)

people also sometimes compare you two to hackers bc you code a ton and he kinda looks like a hacker

difference here is that both of you play into the bit, it's tons of fun!!

listen, I know he doesn't draw much but I am a firm believer that he will doodle his favorite character(s) from your games after he's done playing them

like after he plays a game of yours then expect a small doodle in your texts :)

you compiled a bunch of these doodles into one picture and made it you phone background and he only found out after y'all met irl and it caught the corner of his eye and he registered "oh hey wait that looks familiar"

he found out while recording the vlog n when editing, the editor was like "hey let's leave this in, it'd be funny if the fans knew right?" ,, the fans were crying for two weeks,, /pos

and speaking of drawings; he would like to be on a drawing stream with you, thinks it's be tons of fun!! :D

and he's usually free to call while your streaming and doesn't mind so if you wanna talk to him while drawing just call :)

and he will watch the streams he can make it to!! he may leave a bit early but he stays for the majority of it

if you make a character based off of him he's going to constantly thank you and brag about how cool you are anywhere he can

"hello manifolders, if you haven't done it already go download (game name)! I'm there!" with a ss of his character from the game and he'll reply to the tweet on his alt to talk more about the game and how much he really liked it :)

another that'll help you were you need it! he'll make it into a joke before anything else, but he'll get to the point

taglist (sorry i forgot to do it on the past two): @cvsmixplant // @l0ver0fj0y // @youngstarfishdinosaur

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shigaeru · 3 years

Note

I just discovered your art recently and I love your style and composition and expressions and everything? The way you draw Shizuo and Izaya is amazing and I admire the huge project you've taken on with adapting ACI, your comics are so much and I'm so looking forward to seeing your take on certain scenes if you ever get to them. I was staring at some of your pages again the other day and I just noticed that Shizuo still seems to have that scar on his chest from when they first met? Ahh that's just such a neat detail, I'm just generally in awe of all of the little things like that that make experiencing the story again from you, a lot of fun. Anyways, I'm kind of curious if ACI is (still?) your favourite fic and if there are any particular reasons why or why not.

AAAAA that's such a nice message to read, this really brightened my day thank you;;

As for your question, I don't think it is my favorite fic, but it's very high up my list! I don't think I could rank them, actually. I just have some sort of big "fics I utterly love" aquarium and they're all swimming around in there, for various different reasons, tropes, scenarii, writing styles.

But there ARE particular reasons I always come back to it.

it's the most well-paced enemies-to-lovers story I've read. It's a very long book and it never takes shortcuts. It takes all the time it needs to establish the colossal character development they have to go through.

The characterization of Izaya and Shizuo feels ON POINT. They're assholes to each other, to other people, so far in their own head they don't see the big picture, they're very serious about wanting to kill each other. But they've also known each other for 10 years and you can just feel it in every interaction.

The dialogue are snappy and every line calls for the next one (which makes the adaptation job really hard btw because sometimes I HAVE to scrap bits of dialogues for the speech bubbles and 1) it breaks my heart, 2) every line is SO important, I can't scrap a sentence without having to rewrite the whole bit, or its answer, or the joke it announces for 3 chapters later)

The writing is so good. It looks pretty simple at first glance, but the description job is very effective. And more importantly everything's a mesh of foreshadowing and hidden references. The dialogues, the imagery, don't get me started I could write a paper on this. There is SO MUCH stuff you have to read between the lines to catch. Izaya and Shizuo are unreliable narrators, how they interpret the situation, what they take from it, a lot of it is incomplete. I've first read ACI in 2017, and I've read it so many times by now, both for myself and for the comic work, and every time I find something new I had not noticed. It's FASCINATING.

The scenario itself? Chef kiss. The balance between horror, angst, genuinely soft interactions and humor is great, and it's actually THE long fic I can't choose a favorite chapter from. Every chapter has at least one very good thing in it.

This is very summarized (i could go into so much depth, i'm not joking about the paper thing gdjjhfd) and of course there are things I like less in it. Stuff I already worked my way around, and plan to work my way around in future chapters (it's mostly the way sexuality is treated I'm a bit uncomfortable with, but Spoon gave me her authorization to take artistic liberties so *WINK*) What you said about experiencing the story again from me got me emotional, thank you a lot again;;

#ask #my bf walked behind me and asked 'wow what got you writing all this'#'this anon asked me why i like aci'#he went 'AH OF COURSE'

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liang-rexy · 4 years

Text

Character design stuff, kind of. 😂😂😂

DO NOT repost my art.

I've been playing a game called Sky: Children of the Light. It's just I didn't get the time to draw some fanart of the game. I suppose the game's whole world, settings, designs and the art style are very remarkable and I honestly like the darker parts of the game's concepts.

This little creature is the character I play. This kind of little people are called "Children of the Light", "Sky Children", "Sky Kids" (I call them Brats of the Light), and they glow, and have wing-like things! They fly with their capes.

I only had the default clothes and default mask when I drew these pictures, and I really like how I design the character. It took me some time to draw. (couldn't draw fast enough anyway, LIKE ALWAYS) 😂 (I got a freaking new cape then) My character looks like Danny Phantom, because of the way I drew the hairstyle.

I used different amounts of drawing(?) (not sure how to say the word😂) elements to draw the same picture and I got three versions of a cool character design. One with lines and abstract textures, one with lines, base colours and abstract textures, and one with more elements. Each version has its own characteristics.

I always love my lineart. I like to keep things simple and detailed enough at the same time and having interesting shapes.

You don't always have to colour your lineart, unless your lineart is a part of a coloured drawing, you know. It really depends on the things and effect you are looking for.

My character is a kind of hybrid creature, I guess. Sky Children seems to be the descendants of Light Creatures and Dark Creatures. I don't know if the creators still keep this concept though. I have seen some concept art of the game mentions about that.

Danny wearing Sky Children's clothes. 😂

It actually feels like roleplaying Danny when I play the game! 😂😂😂The Ancestors/ Elders/ Spirits are some really mean but also caring ghosts who adore the little white-haired ghostly brats and use freaking high-tech equipments and even weapons! Creatures are very playful ghosts and some of them are really cool guides, and nice companions!

(Actually, I have been working on those answers and didn't want to post things here) (I drew too many Dannys, and I still want to draw more… ) (Even a game like this reminds me of Danny, why)😂

Btw, can someone tell me the English names of the places and the Creatures in Sky world, please? (the places' names were different from that of early concepts) I now know 暮土, which is that wasteland (reminds me of the Ghost Zone), is called Golden Wasteland. 🤔🤔🤔 I play the Chinese version, and know the Chinese names. I want to know the English names of "遥鲲" and "冥龙". And why are people calling those crabs "Krabs"??? Is there a story or sth?

Edit: Something is wrong with my character's cape (in fact I only had 7 wings), I realized this on 16th August. I was surprised that nobody told me about it when I posted these images to a few platforms. Perhaps it's not too obvious… And I'm not going to edit these pictures. 😂😂😂 2020年8月16号。

Rexy Leung's 67th original post.

发布于2020年8月13号。

#sky: children of the light #sky: cotl #danny phantom #fanart #dp au #danny phantom au #character #character design #illustration #sky children #sky children of the light #sky cotl #sky kid #concept art #concept #alternate universe

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hearteyes-for-killmonger · 3 years

Text

COLORS

A/N: No smut, sorry. Written for @princessstevens if she's silk still on tumblr. Based on this picture

"Kellan, call me when you get this," I say hanging up before walking into my building.

He never checks his voicemail so I send him a text too asking him to call me. We go to different schools, he's in the Bachelor's program at Brandman for Business and I'm at Alan Hancock for Art. I know he's probably driving right now or doing something. I remember when I met him, three months ago at Target of all places. I typically don't even shop at Target, I go to Walmart, but I was in there and so was he with his cute ass. I fell in love in the hair section. I was actually stalking him on my way to the body wash, but he was standing in the hair aisle getting conditioner for his thickass curly hair. We were a match made in heaven.

"Hey mama," I greet on my way to the kitchen to cook the pack of chicken sitting out in the sink.

"How was school? Take that trash bag out for me," she says before I can respond.

I look in the trash and change the bag, taking the old one to the chute before washing my hands in the empty side of the sink. The moment I rip open the pack of chicken and start washing it, Kellan calls.

"MAAAA, CAN YOU GET THAT?"

She wanders over fast and answers it having her own conversation with my man as I clean chicken. It sounds like they're talking about how his week has been, his classes, and something that's got ma laughing up a storm behind me. I didn't know Kellan was such a comedian. Something about this seems reversed. I keep waiting but I never get the phone so when I heat the oil and start dredging the chicken, I decide to butt into their conversation and ask.

"Uh, ma, can you put it on speaker so I can talk to him, he called to talk to me!" I start putting the chicken in the hot oil.

"Oh hold on, Kellan, my daughter is here getting her knickers in a twist," she mutters putting the phone on speaker. "I think she wants your attention now all to herself."

Kellan snickers. He and my mama are always teaming up on me like it's funny.

"I know you not laughing," I threaten at the phone, dropping chicken in the pan. "I've been trying to talk to you all day because I missed you but you wanna talk to my mama for-" I look at the time, "Five whole minutes."

"Awww, this baby.. she jealous," Kellan chuckles. "I think she mad you like me more than her."

"Keep acting like you tryna take my Mama from me, nigga. I ain't down with no incestuous shi-stuff," I pause genuinely mad. "You ain't finna be my man and act like my brother, I got a brother. That's nasty."

I don't know why I get mad, but I do. I love my mama. She's mine, not his.. I love Kellan, but he be annoying me for real with that shit because my mama gets too into it like she's not playing. She really does like him more than me. He doesn't understand that and keeps rubbing it in my face.

"You got one more time and you ain't coming over here no more."

"That's our mama's decision," he jokes. I cringe.

"Exactly," she adds.

I put the tongs down and walk out going to my room and shutting the door. I was gonna tell him about COLORS and invite him to come with me but he's pissed me off and now I don't want to talk to him. My mama doesn't even bring my phone right away, it's two more minutes of them still talking. When she brings it, I yell that I don't wanna talk to him. "Well finish the chicken," she directs. I do it.. but I'm still irritated.

"And then when he finally calls me back he doesn't even wanna speak to me. Too busy playing mama's boy to a woman who's not even his mama," I vent at the table watching Yaya's thinned lips stretch in silent judgement across from me. I know she doesn't agree with me, but she's not in my shoes.

"You gotta understand he's just getting comfortable. Your mom's probably trying to be accepting. He's your boyfriend."

"No." That's not it, it's not that simple. "He will dead call for her and ignore me. She doesn't care what I do in a day and I can't get her to look at my art for more than two seconds but he gets her undivided attention. He's only known her for three months."

"That's how it is sometimes," she shrugs. I shake my head.

"No. That's not how it is, and if it is I can't be doing this. No, ma'am."

Her finger raises and I shut up as she takes a call. I didn't even hear a ring, but based on her face she's not liking whoever it is on the phone or what they have to say. She has that stank face that she gets when someone's got her twisted. Meanwhile, the waitress pops back up.

"Ready to order or do you guys need a few more minutes?"

"You must got me fucked up," Yaya blurts causing the server's brow to raise as she looks from Yaya to me. She only asked what we were ordering.

"We're ready to order," I smile. Quickly she takes her pen from her pile of blonde hair.

"I'm not working Friday after I already said I needed that day off," Yays waves to me to order for her since she's on the phone. I know what she'd order. The server looks from her again back to me readying her paper and pen.

"She'll take the fried chicken with mac and collards. I'll take the house cheeseburger with fries.. thank you," I nod as she walks away. I take a sip of my iced tea, wiping the condensation from the glass onto my dress and leaning forward with my hands in my lap.

"Right, but I said it back in July so you'd know I'd need this Friday off. It's in writing, do I need to pull it up," Yaya threatens to whoever is on the phone. I wonder what's going on on Friday. "Yes, pull it up and look at the email.. uhuh.. Yes, so Fri-day I will NOT be there," she enunciates. "Correct… Uhuh, buh-bye!" She rolls her eyes and hangs up shaking her head at me and I know the frustration well, we work at the same Michael's. It's awesome, but our manager is very manipulative. I sip my tea thinking about it.

"You need to be the manager." I wish she were the manager.

"Pur!.. and Dean needs to go," she laughs sipping her coke. "How's your Fiverr going?"

"Oh girl I got some gigs, I've made about $110 from it so far."

"Okay! I'm on Upwork I made about $200."

"Damn. Well I'm looking at working at the Children's Museum for more money."

"True, I saw that position too.. but don't overextend yourself. I'm not.. because we still need to finish with these classes and get our art portfolios together and we ain't finna graduate late-tuh!"

I know, but I also need money.

When our food comes, we get refills on our drinks and that's when she comments on the restaurant, after she bites into her chicken. It's both of our first time coming in, but it's right near our college which is why we decided to give it a shot for lunch. It's called Urban Hangout and that's exactly what it looks like, a coffee shop to hang out in and just sit. The food is really good too.

"So what you got going on Friday," I ask dipping and shoving fries in my mouth one by one.

"Tuh, Friday? Nothing I just needed a day to myself and that's the day I'm taking," her lips pout when I laugh.

"That's smart! I'm glad you ain't let Dean try to sucker you like he be trying." I lean in. She's curling her finger like she needs to tell me something. "He's famous for shit like that -What," I whisper quickly. She waves her hand aggressively for me to stop talking.

"Meg.. you know that guy over there," her eyes flicker to my left. My head stays still but my eyes briefly follow hers to a quiet looking guy sitting at a table alone with an art pad and a beanie on covering his ears and eyebrows, eyes focused down as he draws.

"Mm-mm, no.. Never seen him in my life.."

"Well he keeps looking over here at you, I think he drawing you." She bites her chicken and sips her coke as I stare.

Me? Why he couldn't be drawing her, why does she assume it's me? I take another look at the guy but turn my head too far and end up making eye contact when he looks up. He looks different than I thought he would now that I can see more of his face. He blinks like he's waiting to see what I'm a do so I get up and sit across from him. He's really cute, though I got a man. There's nothing wrong with being nice, I tell myself.

"You go to Alan Hancock?"

The corner of his mouth lifts as he looks straight at me. He has long eyelashes and pretty, full kissable lips. I sit a little straighter. If I weren't already three months deep in a relationship I'd give him my number. He focuses back on his artpad, sketching, his eyes moving back and forth between my face and his paper with new energy. I look over at Yaya wondering if she sees what I see and she's smiling like she knows what I'm thinking. She knows my type, brown skin and bearded. He looks like he has a nice build under the loose shirt. And he draws.

"You speak..?" He doesn't respond. I'm starting to think he's deaf and cute. Maybe he can read lips, both sets. I wave and when he looks up, I point to my lips. "What's your name?" He only and smiles, his eyes creased at the corners, still sketching away.

I decide to just sit still and wait until he's done to see the picture, curious of his skill level. If he doesn't go to Hancock for art, then dammit he should.

Suddenly he stops, looks his page over seriously, and hands me the artpad across the table. He watches me for my reaction. It's a full rendering of my face in great detail and he's made me look beautiful. He's even got my negro nose with the piercing down to the shape of my eyebrows. My locs are accounted for and he put texture on them. Next to that is a full sketch of me sitting at my table, leaning onto the table with the straw in my mouth to drink. He's even got the print of my dress down. Only thing is he's added a realistic looking flower behind my ear in both pictures and I'm not wearing a flower. I look up briefly, curious.

His smile returns as he sees my head tilt with a question in my eyes about the flower. Going into his backpack beside him, he gently pulls out a lively bright golden yellow flower handing it to me. I look to Yaya, who looks equally surprised while I show off my flower. She's fawning.

"Is this how you pick up girls," I smirk smelling it. It's real and I'm geeked. I tuck it behind my ear like suggested by the drawing. Taking his pad, he writes a message on the page and hands it back to me.

24 hours of silence in memory of black women killed by police brutality. My older sister was one and she loved daffodils. I've been giving daffodils to black women all day. This is my last one.

I look up at his warm eyes but now I see traces of sadness.

"When did she die," I whisper unsure of whether to speak or write now. He takes the pad and writes.

2 years ago today.

My heart breaks for him and I hold my heart looking over at Yaya who has no clue what's going on. I'll have to fill her in when I get back over there. In the meantime, I do my best to communicate that I'm truly sorry for his loss.

"Can I have this," I point to the paper. He frowns comically shaking his head and takes his pad back writing again.

I'd rather keep it. I like how it came out.

Can't say I don't understand him as an artist because there are times when you look at your work and love it too much to let it go. Still, it is my face. He smiles seeing my disappointment. I nod deciding to let it go and stand to head back to my table. By the time I sit down, he's up with his things and leaving the cafe. I let Yaya into the loop and she sympathizes looking over to the space where he previously sat.

In class, my eisele faces the window and I start my under painting which is a wash of the background.

"How did you get yet another picture in the hall," I turn to ask Yaya after thinking about it for a good few minutes. She grins with her tongue out between her teeth.

"I keep telling you, taking outside classes and going to workshops really helps you develop in realism."

"I keep saying I'm going to," I sigh as I plop my brush in water. She sweeps her brush across her canvas back and forth.

"You're lazy. That's why you haven't had anything in the hall."

"No, but why can't I just practice and learn from the classes I'm already paying for," I groan. "Otherwise why am I paying?"

"Because you can't, suck it up. You want to be in the hall or you wanna be average?"

"I wanna make $200 on Upwork."

"Up your skill set and you can," she points to my canvas with her detail brush adding insult to injury.

"Bitch, I'm trying!" Honest, I am. I've improved on my own a great deal but I've still never sold like she has. Her art is in THE HALL.

At Allan Hancock College, only the best student work lines the white brick walls of the art halls. The best of the best make it to the glass display. Every visitor to the building had to pass through the art hall and without meaning to, they stop to admire the art almost without fail. Sometimes the art sells for prices upwards of $300. Colorful portraits, hyperrealistic paintings of still life and everyday objects.. Needless to say, the hall is the goal of every art student and the golden standard to aspire to.

"That's pretty," Francis smiles in passing on the way to his easel. He's referring to my self-portrait. I started with the background and now I'm painting my skin tone. Glancing over to his station, I move from my spot to take a look at his canvas.

"Aww, look at Gravy lil fat self!" He's painting his lil fat French bulldog. "Wait a minute... Francis, you got better!.."

"I went to a painting workshop this past weekend, it was a bring your dog paint and sip night. You should've seen all of the puppies! I met a few new people too, 100% reccomend."

"You talkin bout COLORS," April jumps in from behind. Instantly I look at Yaya and she looks at me.

"I love COLORS, I'm telling you, I go there all the time. I've learned so much skill-wise and every day they have something different going on," Francis says. "You ever been?" The question is to me, but before I can answer, April cuts in.

"Y'all need to go on a Saturday night," she smirks.

"I went Sunday, it was fun. Had a lil wine," Francis adds.

"Exactly, no.. Go Saturday Night it's portrait and figure drawing night but there's always a live model and 9 times out of 10 they're always fine." She goes to her portfolio and pulls a painting of a nude black woman. Her strong features are in great detail I notice as I appraise it. This could be in the hall too if she were serious.

"Damn, I been going the wrong day, sign me up," Sheena cuts in. I ain't even see her behind me. "I wanna go, but I wanna paint a woman," she says causing Francis to look back playfully.

"We know."

"Look, I'm going this Saturday night if y'all wanna meet me there," Yaya announces as she focuses on her picture reminding me that I need to head back to mine. "Let me know and I'll get us a table. Just everyone chip in since I'm using my card."

It seems like everyone plans to go. "I'm going too," I say not wanting to be left out.

"Oh I know you are," Yaya's brow raises. I turn my lip up playfully. Kellan would've been bored there anyway he doesn't have an artistic bone in his body. He's like my mom, not interested.

Cutting the engine on my mama's car, I exit the gps and call Yaya.

"Hey. Where you at, I ain't see your car?"

"I'm coming. I'm a few minutes away, wait for me."

"I see Sheena and Francis standing outside. I can claim our station, it's fine. Just meet me inside," I tell her and on entering the urban paint bar with Sheena and Francis directly behind me, the walls are dust free and eggshell white. The overhead fixtures bring white artificial light. The floors are a light sandy wood, finished for easy clean. It looks way better than the outside, bigger too.

Francis leads the way to the desk/register/information center and I grab a brochure advertising a gallery showing that's supposed to happen.

"Hey we have a reservation for five under Yaya. 8PM," he states and we're escorted to a warm white brick space with finished wood floors easy for cleaning. Still there are plastic tarps. There are three other small groups with clustered easels signifying a division, each group with a corresponding table. Our table is table three and we order a bottle of red wine which comes around the same time as April and Yaya. We're all here and ready.

April and Francis take control since they've been to COLORS. They secure our palletes, paints, and brushes.

"Let's make it a competition," April suggests.

"You're on," Yaya points. We're all in, prepping our canvases before the model arrives and when the door reopens we all look up. "IT'S HIM," Yaya gasps echoing my thoughts. He looks just as stoic and reserved as the first time we saw him. I wave catching his eye and jog toward him stopping with my hands on my hips.

"You gotta be an art student," I gape up at him realizing he's taller than I remember. "You everywhere we be!" His lips pout in the tiniest smirk and I wonder if he's still not talking. "My bad, yes or no questions only. Nod for yes.. Are you an art student?"

He shakes his head no.

"Wow wow wow, you in school?"

He nods.

"I really wanna ask you where I'm about to start guessing schools."

Raising a finger to say wait, he proceeds to lightly grab my upper arms and shift me from his path like I'm in the way. I'm offended!

He heads to the middle point of the room which houses a small platform with a few props.

"Ohh," I mouth watching him pull of his thin but loose long sleeved purple vneck. "Dayum!"

I head back to my easel and my group has the same expression. This man looks like a gym rat. I suspected as much but you really couldn't tell through the shirt and that seems to have been on purpose. He's not like me, I flex hard af when I know I look good.

"Professionalism," I remind my classmates. "Y'all seen a naked body before. We are artists, we do not ogle... We respect the human form."

I'm half joking because I know it's normal to have a reaction, but they take me seriously and go into mature mode. Then the man takes off his ripped skinny jeans revealing strong, long, lean calves and solid, defined thighs. He's standing in burgundy briefs that expose that he's working with a monster. Big boy status in those briefs.

It's not like I've never seen a penis, Kellan's is not small. It's not as girthy as this guy's.. but it's similar in length. I'm glad he's not hear to see me damn near simping over this model. That could've been extremely awkward.

I look at the other groups and they seem to be really mature about it. I watch their eyes to see if they're faking composure but quickly change my mind and mind my business. It's a good time to grow up myself.

Then the briefs come off. I keep my face neutral but I see from the corner of my vision that the big boy is hanging. It's been a whole strip tease, I'm almost nervous to look up because my poker face is too fragile. Instead, I start with his face and upper body and jump to his legs based on my view of him. His side is turned to me. I mix my colors for the tonal differences in his skin, accounting for shadows and highlights. I want this portrait to look as good, no.. BETTER than the one he did of me in the cafe. I also want to win this little painting competition. I work on getting the color placement blocked out and accurate and then I follow up with blending and details. His hair is one of my favorite things to paint and I'm confident no one's touching me on that.

He moves around every so often to give the ones who request it a closer look. I don't mind it because he's good at returning to his mark and exact position. Also the lighting doesn't change.

I get his whole body down nearly, left with the gap between his v-cut and his thighs. It's childish but instead of drawing his penis, I start painting in the props. I paint the blue vase and the small stand holding the half full water bottle he keeps taking little breaks to sip from.

"Anyone else hot," I whisper blousing my shirt to give myself air underneath. April takes it as a sign to walk around our easels to look at our canvases and we do the same with each other's. Instantly I realize my painting isn't as good as I thought it was and that I can do better.

"You missed a whole part," she comments inspecting my painting carefully. She's looking at the way I painted his locs. I definitely succeeded there. "You just not gonna give him a dick?"

"I'm not done, I couldn't really see it from this angle," I lie. "I'm just gonna paint a modesty leaf."

"That'll ruin your pretty picture, I've seen your leaves," Francis grimaces. "It's a small part, you can finish it we have time."

I wanna tell him it ain't that small. That thing is big. Instead I pick up the brush to deliberate.

"Hey, could you come just a little closer, please? She's trying to see from the side," April points to me and when he comes closer, I have no excuse.

"Helps to paint it if you look at it maybe every once in a while," he deadpans. I freeze momentarily to look him in the eye. He thinks he's clever.

"Oh you talk now," I smile sarcastically. His small answering smirk shows no malice, purely teasing.

"I like to let people talk who like to talk."

"Yeah aight." I have to look. I start filling in the missing part of his body and when I glance left, Yaya is smirking at me. It's subtle, but I know her and I ignore her.

Kellan wouldn't understand me standing up here sipping wine and drawing dicks with a naked man so close to me. I don't think I'll tell him. That's not something I care to explain and I don't have to, it's art not sexual. I make sure I copy the smooth transition from brown to pinkish-brown on the tip of the dick. I get the healthy shine and the light pull of the balls which are big. He's clean shaven or waxed, I don't know which. When I've got the gist of it he returns to his original position.

"What's your name anyway," I call out. I can't be the only one curious.

"What importance is a given name? The universe will mold us into what we're truly meant to be."

"Erik. His name is Erik," a girl from table four says with a humored sigh. "Ignore him, he's a troll."

"That's a label you've chosen for me. You're a white woman, you are not the universe. Only black women can attempt to perceive me."

"Shut.. up," she groans. It's hard to tell but I'm starting to see he likes mixing his genuine responses with satire. It's confusing. He could be a hotep or he could be fishing. But why would hotep be a nude model? Are there hotep nude models who hand out flowers and draw in cafes?

"Let's compare," Yaya announces and we all vote on the winner with feedback from the other groups who actually consist of nice people. Yaya wins, no surprise there. I'm still proud of my painting. It's my best so far. I wish I could show it to my mama and my man without them viewing it as something perverted.

#original #erik killmonger #killmonger #erik stevens #erik killmonger fanfiction #erik stevens au #black panther killmonger #colors

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terubakudan · 3 years

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My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness by Nagata Kabi - Book Review and Impressions

(light reflection) Perfect :D Hoping Tumblr doesn't flag me for this xD

Ok, I'm going to start this off with 'this is probably the first and only book review I'm going to do' xD Because I rarely do read books now, and just as rarely buy them. Also, I would have preferred to buy the English version but alas they only had the Chinese version in stock ^^"

Stumbling upon this on the Internet, I was immediately compelled to buy this, as if I knew I would love it and that Nagata's story would resonate with me.

【Short Version】 I can't recommend this book enough, it doesn't matter what sexuality you are or from what culture are you. Nagata makes sure to tell an honest and 'naked' (without embellishments) portrait of her own personal experiences. How she herself is a college drop-out (having only graduated from high school), pushed herself to live/work while struggling with depression and eating disorders, not being sure of what she wants and feeling that she doesn't 'deserve' things, realizing her own sexuality in that she likes girls, and just not feeling 'good enough'...all through her cutesy and unassuming art style.

I will say again though, cutesy art style aside, the book deals with some very heavy topics. Nagata is very honest and doesn't shy away from the gritty details, and I admire her all the more for doing so. Many yaoi and yuri comics often portray an unrealistic and fetishistic view of the LGBTQ+ community whereas Nagata's story is much more grounded and sincere. This is not an easy read, but it's not an overly depressive one either. Nagata literally struggled for years with her mental health, but ultimately found light on the other side. Not mainly through the help of others, but through her own choice to forgive and love herself.

5/5⭐ Definitely recommend and would read again. And if I could, I'd give Nagata a big hug and a heartfelt 'thank you' for sharing her story.

【Long Version】 While it's written primarily from an Asian (particularly Japanese) perspective, Nagata's experiences are ones that should resonate with anyone who has been through the same or similar things, regardless of one's personal background. And I myself, while being fortunate enough to not have gone through eating disorders or self harm, am no exception.

I grew up in an Asian (Taiwanese/Chinese Filipino) household, while my parents weren't Tiger Parents (no offense but fuck Amy Chua for thinking that's a proper way of raising your children), they still had certain expectations on their children: to find a good husband/wife, have a good education, have a 'stable' career, etc. And while I love my parents very much, I'd be lying if I said there weren't any times where I felt they were smothering me, there weren't any times where they kept on nagging and bugging me for very trivial details. My biggest pet peeve: guilt-tripping me just for wanting to spend time alone.

"For me, my parents' opinion of me is absolute." (NOTE: While I won't be providing exact translations of the excerpts I used here, I'll do my best to summarize the gist of them.)

At the same time, I cared very much about their opinion of me. I made it a point to do well in school, to do things according to their wishes, and just like Nagata, I didn't know what I wanted. This even extended to caring about others' opinion of me, more than my own. In my freshman year of college, I 'went along' with being friends with someone, who while was nice to me, turned out to be a manipulative bitch skilled in passive-aggressiveness xD Being half-Taiwanese/half-Filipino, it was hard to fit in since people always treated me differently, it didn't occur to me I could be choosy with friends, I thought as long as they were 'nice' to me, that would do.

Asian culture is largely a collective one, where we define ourselves by our relationships with others, compared with Western culture (primarily America, I'll be using America as a reference point) where individualism is absolute, where you define yourself as you like. In Asia, it's also normal for children to still live in the same house as their parents well into adulthood, compared with Americans who are expected to move out the house once they finish high school or start college, and they're quite literally 'on their own', having to pay their own tuition, rent, etc. Where I live (Taiwan), it's normal for adults to continue relying on their parents financially well until college. Nagata for instance, while saying her parents really make her feel so pressured, is grateful that she still had a home to stay in (and she's 28!).

If you ask me though, neither a collectivist culture or an individualist culture is absolutely good nor bad. Each have their own pros and cons, and both Asian culture and Western culture could learn a thing or two from each other.

After going through quite a few job applications, one of the interviewers tells her "Ganbatte!" (You can do it!) after Nagata tells her what she really wants is to be a manga artist.

And sometimes that's all we need really, a small gesture or kind remark can do wonders. Even if there's no base or reason for it, it's something worth believing in.

I often have doubts if I'm doing what I really want, if I chose the right major for college, if I'm doing the right thing, if I'm 'good enough'. I didn't grow up with much self-esteem as a kid, and often derived my value from others. But even at my lowest times, a 'you're doing ok' was very reassuring to me, be it from family, strangers, or people I care about. Sometimes that's exactly what we need, it may be small but it could be the difference between continuing to wallow in depression or re-evaluating and choosing to be better to oneself.

I find it's really important to know, that however alone you may feel sometimes, there are other people out there going through the exact same thing. It's something universal, and while a lot of things are really unfair in life, each person has their own lot or burden to deal with. I have a Taiwanese friend who, while being more financially well-off than me, has terrible parents. And I mean parents who are quite so literally toxic, unsupportive of her, and would outright say the worst things to their own daughter.

How depression and anxiety can feel sometimes, we can literally feel like it's impossible to breathe and be in a state of disconnection from the world.

"The sounds that invaded my ears occupied my empty brain, making me unable to think at all."

If you only did what your parents asked you to do, wouldn't days like those be very painful? In the end, only you can understand what you really want.

Nagata's art style is one I would describe as simple, cute, and effective. I personally think had her story been drawn in a more serious style, it would have been even harder to read, much less finish. It's also a choice that has artistic appeal to me, serious subject matter juxtaposed with a 'kawaii' art style.

Nagata also depicts very well her mental state and thoughts throughout her struggle and journey to self-actualization. Depression is a really tough thing to deal with, and sometimes we don't even realize that we have it or if we do, refuse to acknowledge it. In Asian cultures especially, mental health has always been something of a taboo subject and there is a very heavy social stigma associated with it. Nagata herself even said that her parents seemingly refused to acknowledge that their daughter's mental health was in a state of distress. In Japan, there is a concept called gaman (我慢), which is described as 'enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity', and while it is portrayed as an ideal virtue that inspires perseverance, it can be a source of heavy pressure for others. Gaman also means that you are expected to suppress whatever emotion or negative feelings you have, often for the sake of others and no matter how tough the situation becomes for you. And while I agree that through gaman you can become more selfless for others, it shouldn't have to come at the expense of your own well-being.

I was quite fortunate to have grown up in a more liberal Asian household, but even when it came to mental health, our family also adopted the same kind of attitude towards it, by carrying on as if nothing was wrong, or just not talking about it. And to be honest, there were numerous times I wished we had been more open about what was bothering ourselves at that time. Talking and being open about your feelings is not a 'weakness' but something incredibly brave to do, and it's my wish for that to slowly become more acceptable in Asian cultures, which I know is kind of a stretch, but it doesn't hurt to hope.

Nagata makes the decision to clean herself up, by taking a bath everyday, habitually exercising, and no longer wearing worn-out clothes.

Depression especially can be a bitch. It deprives you even of your physiological needs, like your need for food. Nagata had to struggle with that on top of eating disorders for a long ten years. She ate so little and even felt that she didn't 'deserve' to eat, and at one point, anorexia became hyperphagia, and she would feel so guilty for eating almost expired/expired food. Things that would otherwise be simple to do also end up becoming difficult/impossible to do, like taking care of your personal hygiene, getting up from bed, doing simple tasks etc.

Thankfully, after Nagata realizes that she never truly 'valued herself', she starts to turn over a new leaf. Even just starting with cleaning herself up, she takes this as a form of 'valuing oneself' and her mood starts to improve, which her family also points out. In the end, taking care of yourself is not a selfish thing to do, it can even make you a better person who is there for others.

Nagata meets up with the female escort she hired, as a means to experience human sexuality, which she had always repressed her curiosity for and treated as a taboo subject. (NOTE: And I'm glad that she met a really nice girl for her first time too!)

Sex and sexuality is also a subject that I feel is hard to talk about sometimes, which I think also owes itself to most Asian cultures being relatively conservative about it. I myself have only recently identified as bisexual, which I attribute to internalized homophobia, not wanting to admit I was into girls too. And to be honest, 'coming out' is something I'm still uncomfortable about, because I don't want to risk my relationship with my family and it's still something I would choose to be selective about with colleagues and friends. I'm grateful though that as crazy the Internet can be sometimes, it can be quite accepting and tolerant towards things that we wouldn't otherwise discuss with even the closest people in our circle. Nagata's memoir ended up capturing the hearts of many readers ever since she first published it on Pixiv.

Exploring your sexuality doesn't have to be scary, it should be something exciting and liberating. Nagata decided to take matters into her own hands, and while the days leading up to the encounter made her really nervous and she even considered not going through with it at all, she willed herself to continue, because she wanted to do this for herself, it would be pointless if she gave up after coming so far in her decision to value herself.

And it's these series of actions that she decided to do that ultimately led to her life turning out for the better, it gave her the courage to do what she always wanted: to be a manga artist, which lead to the publishing of this autobiographical memoir, something she wanted to create that would 'make people want to buy this book' and from her own preference for reading stories that 'speak of secrets people wouldn't want to tell others'.

Nagata mentions what she calls 'honey': something that varies from person to person. It could be your reason for living, that thing that drives/pushes you, or even your sense of belonging. It may not be something permanent, but you can always find yourself a new one. (she mentions the last time she had her 'honey' was during her high school days, and while she has grown apart from the friends she made, she has found her new 'honey' in the form of being a full-time manga artist.)

Nagata stumbles and trips a lot on her way to being a better version of herself, but who doesn't? She admits to things not necessarily being smooth, but at least she's doing better than before. And it's that decision to at least try that counts. We don't have to be perfect, we're all human after all.

TL;DR My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness is a honest, down-to-earth, and ultimately hopeful memoir about the struggles of mental health and learning about one's sexuality. It's an amazing book, and very much worth the buy.

A big thank you if you read through all of this too. I know it's a mess and writing isn't exactly my strong point, but hopefully I've convinced some people out there to give this book a read! Please feel free to share your thoughts and I'd appreciate it very much too if you reblog/like this post.

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boop-le-snoot · 3 years

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PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 24

first time reader click here

TWs/Summary: The party, finally. Nerds be nerds. They're all dorks tbh. Booze and partying. Clint is a disaster. Natasha is a queen. I beg for comments from y'all cuz I'm short on serotonin 🥺🥺🥺💚✨

This is a Spotify playlist I made for the first half of the party. Sets the mood 😌

The party was booming, the room was flooded with a large amount of people dressed in various extravagant outfits. It was enough to sweep my eyes over the crowd only once to take notice of the thought and money people had put into their outfits. I hardly noticed any cheesy "angel/devil" or "sexy cat" ensembles, my eyes caught on gemstones and feathers and floor-length gowns instead.

First Avenger to catch my eye was Thor - only because the people surrounding him barely held back from drooling. Hell, I did a spit-take: the usually graceless giant stood casually posted at one of the snack tables, wearing silver robes embroidered with tiny sparkling gemstones; a sleek, angular crown rested atop his head, his blonde hair was longer, lighter and straight. One look at his ears and the realisation struck me: Thor was Thranduil, the Elven king. It made sense since Peter had the thunderer hooked on the Lord of the Rings movies a couple of weeks ago...

Both Loki and Wanda cleaned up no less nicely. The Witch was wearing a midi dress, airy and soft, in pastel tones that brought out the natural rosiness of her cheeks and the scarlet undertones glimmering in the strands of her hair. Unlike me, she chose to wear a sparkling tiara, which Loki had created after a short debate - it was an intricate material illusion meant to last for at least ten hours.

Loki himself was a work of art: dark and macabre fantasy painting. I could barely tear my eyes away from the pale, tall man clad in dark green silks and brocade. The candlelight threw shadows on his angular face and his sharp cheekbones stood out more than ever: twenty minutes I spent on convincing him to let me put make-up on his face paid off spectacularly. Flickering lights toyed with the emeralds and forest greens of the shiny silk of his vest, giving Loki an ethereal glow. His eyes shone crimson red, making nearby people throw equally startled and appreciative looks.

As for myself, the stares I got were no more and no less than I expected. The dress I'd been aching to wear fit me perfectly, earthen tones, hand-embroidered blossoms and delicate golden threading. The layers of my skirt were just voluminous enough to give me the extra airy, floating walk, the medium-height platforms of my shoes lightening my step. The ropes securing them to my legs were decorated with flowers so delicate they looked real.

The peak of my outfit took an arm and a leg in bribery of the resident sorcerer-turned-vampire, but in the end, even Loki himself could hardly look away from his creation. An hour of research and some serious magic voodoo shit was what it took for the fluttering fairy wings to sit between my shoulder blades. I felt them as an extension of my own body, and whilst flying was definitely out of the question, I could flicker them and felt the delicate brush of Wanda's fingers as she admired the translucent, blue-green, marble-patterned sheen of pure, concentrated magic.

In hindsight, I should have simply bought a set of pre-made wings and asked Loki to enchant them to move on their own. Hindsight... I wasn't good at that. So, in this moment, with the wings syncing up with my jittery nerves, the shiny traitors shook with the force of stares directed at our little trio. There was an absurd amount of gorgeous people and breathtaking costumes, yet even then, we stood out like Mona Lisa in an indie art gallery. Muted 'woah's and 'oh-my-gods' traveled across the room, turning even more heads towards us.

"And you wanted to wear Walmart," I weakly chuckled in Wanda's direction, seeing her wide eyes and Loki's arm rapidly wrapping around her waist, catching her a brief moment before she stumbled. The trickster looked unimpressed and bored for all the world to see, but to me, the slight twitching of his eyebrow told me he wasn't feeling that much different from us girls either.

"Brother!" Thor gestured us over with a drink in each hand, parting the crowd of people easily.

Noah, et tu? I had no choice but to swallow my unease, hoping my concealer and highlighter did their job and my face hadn't lost the sublime glow I was aiming for. For a girl like me, the Fae aesthetic wasn't easily achieved: naturally, I wasn't innocent, I wasn't playful... However, I was mischievous. Plenty of that.

Spotting a semi-familiar face in the crowd of partygoers, I gave the man a lopsided grin and a wink without actually taking note of who he was. Tonight, I would be a fairy. I would play.

"King," Wanda mock-bowed with a laugh, carefully embracing Thor. Even Loki did a brief, composite left-handed tilt with a slight smirk.

"Where's the rest of the gang?" I giggled, immediately making grabby hands for the nearest brightly coloured, fruity concoction that fell into my eyesight. Being sober at a party was not something I had planned to be: first drink went down like water as Thor explained the whereabouts of our various friends.

"Steven and James are with Lady Natasha, there is a knife-throwing contest outside on the patio," As soon as those words left his mouth, Loki immediately perked up, not-so-subtly turning his torso towards the large open area.

"Go," I ushered him. "Win us something, good sir," With a chuckle of my own, I grabbed Wanda by the hand for both of us to give a chaste good luck kiss to each of Loki's cheeks. He smiled as I threw a tiny amount of sparkles at him, shouting "GOOD LUCK!" to his retreating back.

"Princess?" I heard a curious voice pipe up behind me, an arm carefully wrapping itself under my wings. Said arm jerked as the sensitive matter of my wings fluttered away from the touch, shivers running down my spine and making me shuffle in place awkwardly.

"Tickles," I breathed out, voice pitched.

Tony's utterly perplexed face came into view as he gave me an open-mouthed once-over. "Darling..." He cleared his throat. I had managed to rob Tony Stark of his words! "You look... Exquisite." His eyes critically surveyed the amount of make-up and glitter on my face before he lifted the inside of my wrist, touching his lips to the pulse point for two long seconds, stealing my breath away with the simple, intimate gesture. It was by far more powerful than having to get glitter out of his beard if he'd kissed me on the lips, or even on the cheek.

"Congratulations, you've caught a Fae," I grinned mischievously, my own eyes widening at the amount of tiny little details on Tony's costume. Delicate, moving clockwork gears and metals interwoven with dark brown, harsh leather; he wore a tophat decorated with a pair of glasses and both his arms and harnesses had moving details of polished, dull-grey chrome. It was unreal, like Tony had stepped out of a Steampunk graphic novel, like he'd just got done filming the Wild West movie. "Nerd," I affectionately brushed my fingers - glitter-free hand - along the handlebar mustache he'd grown out.

Tony spoke over Thor's laughter, pressing himself closer to me, this time careful around my wings. "Do I get to make a wish?"

"Don't be rude, Tony. The Fair Folk should be treated with politeness and respect," Bruce's amused voice signaled his arrival before I even saw him. His costume and Tony's complimented each other: whereas Tony the wngiy obviously was some sort of inventor, Bruce was a doctor, or perhaps, a chemist. Instead of moving gears, he had an array of brightly coloured vials attached to a gold-and-green embroidered belt, and a single monocle replaced his usual rectangular glasses. The scientist gallantly raised my palm to his lips, fighting a smile of his own. Utter nerds! "You're the most beautiful thing in this room, Princess. Everyone can't take their eyes off you," With that, a brief, bright flash of green blinked in his eyes and then I knew, Bruce and Hulk would be on my back, watching out for me wherever I would decide to go.

The knots in my back, in my stomach, slowly began to unwind, the feeling accelerated by the warmth of alcohol sitting low in my belly. I was happily sandwiched between my two men, chatting with Wanda and Thor, nibbling on the spooky treats that Tony's catering services had provided. They were delicious.

Sam appeared, dragging a flushed Clint in tow. The archer had evidently gotten well into his drinks, seeing as he was holding a horn in one hand whilst the other still barely held onto his head. Despite the costume fail, he seemed to be having the time of his life.

"We need glue," Sam announced, smiling in our direction. "Well, hello, ladies," Briefly, abandoning his bird bro, Sam kissed a giggling Wanda on the cheek and wrestled one of my hands from Tony to peck it, too. "My, my eyes have been so blessed!"

"What are you?" Wanda asked the man curiously, pointing at his... a sort of toga, brown leather shoes that looked more like hooves and a crown of... grapevine?

"Dionysus," Sam mock-bowed, "And this is my Pan. Who happens to be a lightweight and enjoys annoying witches that can throw knives with scary precision!" The man announced, annoyed, whilst Clint just drunkenly giggled as he was helped by Thor - the Asgardian-Elf was doing something to the archer's headdress and putting the wonky horn back in its place, hands steady despite Clint's swaying and squirming.

"Classy," I toasted Sam. "Who's the knife-throwing witch?"

"Natasha," He grabbed a drink of his own. "She went as Yennefer, both fossils are Witchers and Pietro is Jaskier. He looks like a proper court jester in that purple... Thing," The dark man was giggling, too, somewhat tipsy.

"The Ass of America could fit his sizeable rear end in leather pants? How much KY jelly did they use?" Tony snorted mockingly as all of us laughed. I remembered seeing an interview with Henry Cavill and his troubles regarding the leather pants - Tony's question was valid and you can fuckin' quote me on that.

"Man, don't ask me. I've already seen more than enough of him and Barnes in the supply closet," Sam winced, downing the remainder of his drink in one go.

"And what were you doing in the supply closet, Wilson?" Natasha was absolutely breathtaking in the black mesh dress. Pietro next to her looked like a masquerade attendee - in a good way. He had gone with the video game version of Jaskiers outfit and was a bright addition to or our mostly black and pastel coloured party.

Sam grumbled something unintelligible, striking a conversation with Pietro and Clint, pulling the rest of us into it one by one. People came by and went, saying their hellos and asking to take pictures - the party was attended by mostly SI and trusted SHIELD employees with the exception of a few B-level celebrities Tony knew personally, no press was allowed beyond their designated area so all of us could afford some degree of frivolity.

Steve and Bucky - oh my God their costumes were tight - shared kisses and heated glances over the tops of our heads. Bruce's hand snuck under the highest part of my skirt, caressing my legs and Tony's soft pecks on the top of my head filled me with the warmest sense of adoration. Loki, being the gentleman he was, had won both me and Wanda each a stuffed spider which we gracefully accepted, thanking the trickster with a dance.

Or three. Wanda went first, eyes sparkling and smile ten miles wide as she soaked up the admiration, the envious stares of the people in the room. The witch looked simply stunning, she was glowing, and Loki next to her shared the sentiment wholeheartedly - a small grin decorated his face, eyes kindest I'd ever seen them. In that moment, Wanda truly was a princess.

Three and a half drinks in, I swayed gently to the music, unbothered by the smile creeping on my face as I watched the two magical people dance and mingle. "You're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey..." Singing along was a pesky habit of mine that manifested itself after a certain amount of liquor circulated through my system. It wasn't like I was a bad singer - my parents had made me take music classes until I was sixteen - but it was generally an embarrassing moment nonetheless. In that moment, I didn't give a damn. "You're as sweet as strawberry wine..." Trust Tony to pick the kind of music I actually knew and liked.

A flash of purple and my glass was snatched out of my hand and promptly downed. Shamelessly grinning, Pietro gave me a look with that cocky tilt of his lips, blonde hair in utter disarray. "That your work?" He nodded towards the dancing couple, giving the empty glass to Bruce who was now watching my swaying with a careful eye.

"My and Loki's," I replied dryly."Thank you," Pietro replied sincerely. "Wanda needed this," Briefly looking me over (fuckin' glitter! I was missing out on so many hugs!), the blonde settled on squeezing my hand between his own. "May I steal your lady for a dance?" He addressed Bruce, seeing as Tony was immersed in a conversation with some dude dressed as Marty from Back to The Future. IT department, maybe?

"You may, but no funny business," Bruce looked godly in his outfit with the stern expression: eyebrows drawn together, lips pursed and irises having just a tinge of green. Hulk watching me added an unexpected sort of spice to our interactions. It made me feel...

"Let's go, Printsesa," Pietro unceremoniously dragged me to the dancefloor, all but stomping over other people's feet, shoes, tails and various other accessories. Boys will be boys... And we danced, and we laughed - until Loki and Wanda floated over to us, promptly swapping partners with fluidity I didn't expect from either of the twins. I watched Pietro spin Wanda with a smile as the Witch shrieked and cursed at her overenthusiastic brother.

"How's it going, Lokes?" I addressed the resident vampire, placing an arm on his shoulders. Tall ass bastard.

"Better than I expected," He admitted. "Although I cannot say I appreciate intoxicated Midgardian males."

"Nobody likes drunk dudes," I rolled my eyes. "I've lost count how many faces I've punched and balls busted at parties. They just don't learn."

"Oh, indeed, you're a fighter, little one. How could have I forgotten?" Loki teased me, doing an elaborate twirl to narrowly avoid the slap I was aiming at his chest. Tall, cheeky bastard.

I definitely should have put salt in his tea sugar.

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