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claire-starsword · 4 months

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The Guardiana Magic School Run - Part 14

Before anything, did you know that if a game is lagging a bit it's recommended you stop using your decades old emulator and actually update to something better? Wild. This thing is running so smooth now.

It's time for Earnest's revenge quest except he's not valid in this run, so this is just the regular beating of another guy instead.

Also, now you know where you're supposed to get the Mermanbuster. The Deals section is absurd. Would be nice to get this bonus but after last battle I don't have much hope.

The convenient thing is that this map is so small I can screenshot basically every enemy in a single image, you're just missing an extra bat to the right. The inconvenient thing is that they'll easily block our path just like in the last battle. Usually when I play this casually Max is overleveled enough to tank everything, and they hardly go for other characters, but this time I did Max's promotion differently and I feel he got less defense as a result so I'm scared. The bats can also easily reach the frail characters from the sides as well.

Tao and Anri just so happened to start at the worst possible position so I'll try to cover them before anything.

Max is indeed not taking the 1 damage I know and love, but on other hand the AI gets ridiculous, several of these bats were in range to attack someone but they decided to line up like this instead.

Things are quickly getting dicey for Max now, this is surreal to me.

Narsha did manage to wipe out a bat and Domingo softened another one up, I wanted Tao to continue the AoEs there but it might be too risky, two bats ganging up on her would kill her, so I'm wiping out knights with her instead. I don't think there's a need to hold her back when bosses are often resistant to magic, and Balbazak tends to be a pushover due to not moving.

Arthur also continues to be absurdly good as long as he can hide behind someone else. Khris has healed Max so he can continue being this someone else for now. He could be an absolute monster if I cast Attack on him, but he's overleveled so again I'm unsure if I shouldn't do something else with Narsha.

Look at this mess. The bats are wonderful because by swarming Max like this they block the possibility the Hellhound can go for him, not to mention half of them skipped a chance to attack again. The Hellhound does go for Lowe doing almost half of his HP, but that's manageable. The Artilleries also have a lot of reach and are my main worry since they tend to go for weaker characters more often. It is very tempting to do more AoE with Anri but because of the Artillery I don't do that. She just Freeze 1's the nearest bat for some exp.

Domingo on the other hand has 5 more defense than Max and could do wonders, but doesn't have AoE spells yet, I bet he'll learn Freeze 2 as soon as he's out of MP for it.

Nevermind let's goooo, I don't think he gets more than a single use though. Also this bat survived at 1 HP which is sad, Anri's Freeze did more damage.

Narsha also has more defense than Max so I'm hoping she can help here in the middle. She defeats a bat and gets even more defense in a level up so that's promising.

Tao sadly cannot help against my worst enemy, the Hellhound, so she's stuck on bat cleanup as well, at least she doesn't have to waste MP since the thing survived at 1 HP.

Arthur lets me down.

I consider sending Max against the Hellhound because I'm worried about Lowe, Gong and Arthur, but I'm also worried about these Artilleries so he's gonna have to be bait a little longer, they are many while the hound is a single one.

i then misclick and attack a bat instead of them, way to go claire

Gong is gonna try to keep this thing occupied instead.

The thing is occupied to more than half of its HP, nice.

I'm still worried about Arthur so Lowe will stay where he is and hopefully not get any crits or second attacks.

Another scary turn but an Artillery decides to go for Narsha instead for half the damage so, lol. The Hellhound does get more damage on Lowe than last turn for some reason, which is scary.

I decide it's time to finally get spicy with Anri as we should be able to wipe out these Artilleries with all magic users, and then hopefully block the last one from advancing. The fact Max attacked this bat also means it's dying and thus more exp for Anri. So, you know, this was totally intentional and epic strategy on my part.

Turn 4. Domingo could do a very spicy AoE here but I feel like saving his MP for Balbazak and his friends. He can just stay here to block the path, and wipe out one Artillery that Anri softened up. The other has been healed by the priest.

Narsha however can destroy tanks in one hit, no softening up needed.

I decide to get spicy and let Khris attack too, which is objectively bad as I forgot Max needed healing. Arthur also doesn't quite redeem himself by not finishing this dog, I really should have cast Attack on him. I need Max to hit this hound or things might get bad.

Max does comes through and now Gong is free to heal him. Again my strategy is flawless, as Anri can finish the Artillery Khris started and get more exp. I'm so good at this game.

Only a bat and a priest are left there, so I'm gonna start advancing towards the bosses, those things should be weak enough that characters wipe them out as they pass. And if the priest decides to heal themself instead and become an exp farm that's fine too.

One exception to this advance though.

We're heading to bosses so it's time I do something with Narsha. A thing I haven't explained yet is that Attack 2 is an AoE buff. I could with this position buff four characters at once by centering at Max. However, it gives only a +5 as opposed to the +8 of Attack 1. On one hand, I'm unsure how much difference 3 points are gonna make. On the other hand, I'm also unsure how much Max and Gong should be approaching Balbazak head on, my hopes here are that Arthur gets him from a distance with him not moving. Max should also be able to get a Supernova in. And Tao still has plenty of MP and her damage can be boosted by Narsha. So I think I'll do Attack 1 on Arthur. This is the magic school run after all, attacking from range only is fitting.

It is now turn 6. Only these three enemies are left. Domingo can get very spicy and use his final MP on a double whammy between Balbazak and the dog. The Blue Dragon however is immune to ice. And yeah, this thing isn't in the Mega Drive version, they decided to add some flavor to Balbazak being a Dragon Master. Obviously, it is at a much lower level compared to the dragons at the end of the game. Hopefully Domingo can survive a hit.

As expected Balbazak does not move to attack Domingo. I don't think he ever moves, but unlike most bosses he kinda has a reason, he wants to board the ship and flee. Either way it does make him a pushover at times. He also doesn't seem to resist magic too much, taking 8 damage from Freeze.

With that, I finally commit to a plan and cast Boost 1 on Tao. Unfortunately she can't reach anything this turn. Arthur could reach the hound and the dragon, but ahaha, I'm not sending him there.

Domingo proves himself my favorite magical blob and a fantastic tank by surviving even as the hound pulls a second attack out of its ass.

He's out of MP, but I can keep him around with a herb to tank more. I'm hoping Tao can obliterate the dragon, but I need to make space for people to attack the hound now.

UH OH

SHOULDN'T HAVE MOVED TOWARDS THE SHIP I GUESS

These are the last things you'll see as I hit image limit and don't wanna make another post.

Tao deals 23 damage to the Blue Dragon, which would have not been enough to kill the dragon on her own, but luckily Narsha moved first and did some small damage. We also get a Healing Ring from the dragon. I don't remember what that is, and I'm again in awe of how many drops there have been in this run.

The Hellhound continues to be the bane of my existence, dodging attacks from Max and Arthur. Gong can't even reach it so he heals Domingo.

We're now at Turn 8, and while I don't mind missing the bonus, I worry that trying to beat this hound instead of finishing the fight already may cause disaster. I'll start the Supernovas and other spells on him already, and hopefully the few melee fighters I don't want on him yet can do something about this dog.

Narsha does go for the hound dealing 13 damage, and then Tao and Arthur go for Balbazak dealing 21 and 18. He has 65 HP in total so coupled with Domingo's previous attack that's a lot. I didn't screenshot but he should be at less than 20.

Okay yeah Supernova should finish him off in style, I don't think the hound's exp is worth risking something to go awfully wrong here.

Sadly you don't get to see the style, not because of tumblr I just failed to screenshot the animation anyway. Supernova 2 deals a whooping 31 damage, meaning I never had much to worry about this guy. Maybe I could have tried to defeat the hound with Arthur instead. I don't really care though. By ending it here, we claim the Mermanbuster as well.

And that's it for Chapter 4, more exciting than I expected. We get into Max's beloved ship and head on to a peaceful voyage. Not sarcasm, I did mention Chapter 5 is easy.

Losses: 0 Deaths: 2

#shining force #ressurection of the dark dragon #guardiana magic school run #long post

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sweetestlamb · 3 years

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Frozen Inside

Summary: You need to remember your place.

Author's note: Chapter 9 is here! Taking a break from these two was pretty hard for me I just love them so much and love writing them in this world I created. As mentioned before this chapter includes a character that someone suggested I use to stir the Junjin pot little, if anyone can guess who this extraordinary character is I will give you a cyber cookie LOL. Just a minor heads up to the person who suggested it, I don’t sympathize with this character as much as others did but I will try to give him some depth and not completely vilify him. But thank you for the suggestion! Hope you all enjoy, writing the ending kinda broke my heart a little so any positive words would be very welcome right now.

The bus ride is far too quick, he’s already loathing the moment when his shoulder will no longer be brushing "accidentally" against hers and he has to suppress a groan when someone rings the bell and he realizes this is their stop. She'd been acting uncharacteristically adorable after his honest statement earlier, running away as soon as the bus arrived as if she'd never gazed upon herself in a reflective surface before. She was beautiful, it wasn't something that was subjective it was just a fact. But once they entered the bus she made her way to a single seater by the window obviously trying to get away from him, he'd easily tugged her away by her backpack forcing her to a double seater in the back instead.

They were sitting together, there were already straying eyes watching her every move. Some from their schools and others just strangers who didn't bother to hide their interest in her, eying her up salaciously and and piquing his desire to throw hands. They were all lucky he had an important date after school, he couldn’t afford to get trouble right now.

She'd glared at him and swung her arms latching on to a metal handle trying to stop him but he was stronger than her, with a huff he pulled her with him and made her sit in the inner seat so he could bracket her in and marginally hide her form from the predatory looks.

Her leg brushed against his before moving away, so quickly he almost thought he imagined the whole thing. But then it happened again. He glanced over discretely at the tail of his eye.

He'd never seen Sujin fidget before. Didn't know her bones were capable of such a function but he had felt her jiggling knee knock into his own and learned that even an ice princess like her got embarrassed. He swallowed the immense pride that erupted at the realization that he was the one making her act this way. Completely out of her character.

"It's our stop." She whispers staring at the floor, eyes refusing to look up.

He's tempted to ignore her and see if that will make her look at him, now that he's been the center of her attention- that hug is burned into his mind- he is greedy for more, her resistance makes him even more desperate.

But he wordlessly stands up instead sliding out of the seat and opening the back door for them, she only pauses minutely before skipping down the stairs and exiting the bus. Her short pleated skirt bounces precariously with every movement and he's temporarily distracted gazing at the smooth expanse of milky skin, why were the school skirts so short anyway? Sujin's barely reached her knee, stopping in the meat of her thigh. Maybe he should start a school petition to get longer skirts for the girls. The boys probably wouldn’t be in agreement though. Perverts.

His stomach clenches at the thought of others staring too, maybe he could at least convince her to tie the sweater around her waist instead of wearing it normally. It was worth a try at least.

"We probably shouldn't walk in together, your fangirls will go cra--"

He interrupts her, not paying at all to what she's suggesting because he has no intentions of separating from her. She's so exhausting with all this push and pull honestly. He already told her that they don't matter.

"Isn't your skirt too short?"

He keeps walking without looking over at her, realizing too late how bold his question is.

He stops when he realizes that she's no longer beside him, twisting left and right before turning around and seeing her a few paces behind. He almost sighs in relief much more familiar with this particular emotion etched on her face, annoyance and mild rage- the patented princess look™️ and he backs up looking at her with a lifted brow, silently questioning her inactivity.

"What did you say to me Han Seojun?" She admonishes staring at him like he's grown another head and she’s ready to decapitate them both, she also steps into his space tilting her angry face to glare directly into his face. She looks prepared to murder him and hide the body.

He's not stupid enough to repeat his gutsy idiotic question, he very much likes his face the way it's currently arranged. He might be stupid but he's not that stupid.

"Me? Nothing. I would never say anything, I don't deserve to speak in your presence." He flutters his eyelashes dramatically, speaking in an exaggerated cute voice and she stares blankly at first. Both of them searching the others face before the tension is snapped like a rubber band and she pushes him in the chest, he almost whines reaching out to grab her wrist before he sees the small smile on her face, its hidden instantly behind the curtain of her hair when she moves away but he sees it and he feels his chest palpitate.

He stands staring in wonder. Lost in her spell.

He's never been a gracious loser but she gives him no chance in the matter.

He stares at her back, cheeks hurting as beams at her bounding off in his sweater. It's hers now he will never be able to wear it again without remembering her in it, it's been ruined in the best possible way.

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

Chorong struggles to carry all the cards he pushes at him, the female population seems to have decided that he was sick and his return results in high pitched screams of his name and a constant stream of food and gifts being shoved in his direction, despite his refusal. He's wandering the halls arm filled with the gifts when he runs into Sujin, her face brightens upon seeing him before she glances down at his arms. The pretty smile is thwarted before it can even comes to full fruition, her eyes turning cold before she stomps past him.

He smirks at her back, chuckling as Chorong stares in confusion before asking, "What's wrong with her?" He shakes his head before handing the bigger boy all the unwanted gifts, her smile was worth more than all of this anyway.

Lunch can't come soon enough and he happily swaggers into the bustling room, oblivious to the amount of hungry eyes that latch onto his form. His own eyes too busy locking on one figure and one figure alone.

The seat across from her is conveniently empty and he laughs into his sleeve when Jukyeong waves him over, smiling with conspiration at him pointing at the empty seat without an ounce of subtlety, giving him a thumbs up. He can't control his laughter when Sujin turns to the girl and to hide her damning thumb the clumsy girl pokes herself in the eye. He definitely owed her now that looked mighty painful.

Suho nods at him as he takes his seat, he returns the gesture. Watching as the usually stoic boy reaches across to comfort his girlfriend, stroking her hair and blowing gently into her teary red eye as she whines loudly.

He opens his backpack taking out the food the girl avoiding him like the plague had given him just this morning. The dumplings are perfect this time she's clearly figured out a technique now, and when he bites into them a delicious umami flavor explodes on his tongue. He groans in pleasure before stuffing another dumpling in his mouth eagerly.

"Wow those look amazing! Did your mom make them?" Su-ah calls across the table and he freezes mid-chew instinctively looking at the real culprit and her eyes are already on him, wide and then pleading. He knows what she's begging from him but he really really wants to disobey and tell everyone that she made them for him. That the same Kang Sujin, who served men roundhouse kicks and resting bitch faces for lunch had made him food and was sitting there eating a lunch he had prepared for her.

It sounds so domestic and he has to bite his tongue to stop himself from doing something she'll regret.

But she's not ready it's too evident and he's not inconsiderate nor selfish. Whatever this is, it's far too new and fragile for him to throw it to the wolves before it's on stable grounding.

"No my mom didn't make it." He answers honestly and he can feel the cold air wafting off Sujin in frigid waves and then he feels a sharp kick to his ankle, he has to grab her feet with his legs to stop her from delivering another blow. He probably shouldn't find her violent tendencies so attractive. He clearly isn't right in the head.

"Someone else made it. Someone special." He continues trying not to wince as she tries to attack him again. Immediately the table erupts into ohs and everyone starts talking at once except her best friends who look on with smirks, Su-ah playfully winking at him.

"Someone special? Who? Who made it? Do you have a girlfriend?"

Sujin spontaneously starts choking on her blueberry milk, the very one he'd packed in her lunch bag this morning the pale blue liquid spilling out the corners of her lips. He passes her a napkin immediately, their fingers brushing as she takes the paper from his grip wiping her face and looking sheepish once she realizes that all eyes are on her now.

"Are you okay?" He asks amused, looking at her with a smile barely hidden. So fucking cute.

"Yeah don't worry about me." She breezily replies struggling to escape from his tight grip under the table, unbeknownst to everyone there. But her cold statement only reminds me of their meeting in the hospital. Her words echoing in his heart, I'm going to worry about you. Who are you to tell me not to? Let me do what I want. Hearing those words made him want to stupidly put himself in more scenarios that would result in her concern, maybe he'd get another hug. Or a even a ki--

"Don't think we forgot! Who made you this food Seojun-ah?" Chorong breaks his concentration and he stares incredulously at the other boy, his words were meant to trick everyone else but his best friend should know who he was referring to; he'd been the one to deliver the food for him after all. Wasn't it clear who he liked? Who might be making him food in return?

He sighs shaking his head, glancing up at Sujin from under his fringe feeling warm all over.

It's hard to tail him without making it too obvious but she tells Jukyeong and Su-ah that she has something to do before running after Seojun at a distance. She misses the knowing look on both of their faces as they watch her conspicuously hide behind a very thin tree. He had offered to wait for her but she didn't need his fanclub seeing them leaving together, they were so possessive of the boy. It didn't matter that he never showed any interest in them they were all still convinced that he belonged to them.

She didn't see him making food for any of them so she didn't know how they reached this asinine conclusion but she'd rather stay off their radar.

"Are you practicing to be a national spy? Why didn't you come when I offered to wait for you?" They are far from the school now, miles but she still looks around nervously before speeding up finally allowing them to walk side by side. He looks over at her fondly, she looks away unable to maintain eye contact when he's acting like this. It doesn't help that she can feel her walls weakening, she was tempted to accept his offer earlier. To walk with him side by side and let everyone see, she was losing her mind.

"I didn't want to be murdered by your girls." She teases, the words fall flat because as soon as she utters them she feels sick to her stomach.

A huge hand suddenly wraps around her wrist halting her, warm even through the stick material of the gifted sweater.

She turns to look at him bewildered, even more so at the hard look on his face. Those exotically sloping eyes even thinner than usual as he pulls her closer. She gulps, hard. Looking at him as his eyes peruse her face slowly, full of dark intention her blood simmers hot under the matching gaze.

"They aren't my girls. You know that." The emphasis and bite on the word makes her uneasy, refusing to think about the implications of his words. A sheen of sweat raises on her back, and she gently tugs her arm away scoffing to tear through the thick cloud of tension that is loitering between them.

"I was just joking. You don't have to be so serious. Let's go." She awkwardly rubs at her wrist before bolting away, scared to continue this line of conversation. Something has changed between them and she has no idea how and if they can go back to the way things were.

A little voice in her head whispers, Is that really what want you?

How is she supposed to know what she wants? Up until this point that has never mattered to anyone, she was just expected to do as she was told. Speak when spoken to. Everything about this is foreign and terrifying. Knowing that he'll be there to catch her if she falls is more nerve wrecking than anything she's faced thus far.

It's better not to think about it especially with where they're going, but thinking about that makes her even more nervous. She fidgets with the sleeve of the huge sweater, tugging at the extra material that folds over her hands. She suddenly realizes that she's completely covered in Seojun, this wasn't her best idea but she can't bring herself to remove the sweater.

She's never felt so warm.

"You can wait inside, I need to get something." He suddenly pats her head ruffling her hair and she reaches up to push his hand away only to be entranced by the grin on his face, has his smile always been that illuminant or is this reserved just for her?

She nods frozen watching him walk further and further away, until he turns a corner and disappears. She takes a deep breath centering herself before, able to breathe easier now without him sucking up all the air with his magnetic energy.

It's weird being back at the hospital especially alone, she hesitates at the entrance before finally entering. She expects trouble at the front desk seeing as how she's not family but the nurses smile at her knowingly.

"You're back. Room 105. Straight down the hall."

She shifts uncomfortably but nods her head in gratitude before walking down the hall. There are a row of free seats and she eases down into one, Seojun still isn't back and she can't very well just go into the room. She's basically a stranger, right?

Luckily she brought along homework, she can put this time to good use and complete some while Seojun gets whatever he needs that so important that he abandoned her all alone.

Minutes trickle by and she gets lost in her history homework highlighting dates and names of Kings, stopping at King Cheoljong when she hears the patter of footsteps and instinctively she glances up meeting huge round bespectacled eyes.

"Unnie! What are doing here?" Gowoon rushes over grabbing her hands, she flinches at the sudden touch on her rough hands and she coughs discretely pulling away, tucking the mutilated appendages away. She smiles disarmingly to ease any offenses that movement might have caused. The younger girl smiles back easily, not commenting at all on the action. She mentally thanks her.

"I heard your mother was hospitalized, I thought it would be okay if I visited her?" She suddenly feels extremely insecure about her presence here. Why had she assumed that she was welcome here after only meeting them once? She was getting too confident and it was a dangerous way to live, it often led to heartache.

Like now, she could pretend that it didn't matter if Seojun's mother didn't want to see her but if she was rejected it would hurt, she was the first maternal figure that had ever shown her any type of authentic kindness. Jukyeong's mom was ardent about regaling how pretty she thought she was but she'd heard that growing up, from her father as he bragged about how many suitors she would have and how resourceful that would be. So the words didn't do much but remind her of that, her supposed beauty had been weaponized long ago. She hated the constant reminder, as if her looks were all she had to offer to the world.

You didn't feel that way when he said it though. You liked it.

She shakes her head clearing away such traitorous thoughts.

"Unnie, of course you're welcome. Mom will be so happy to see you. I just meant why are you out here, come on let's go greet her!"

She barely has a chance to stuff her book back into her bag before the eager girl is yanking her away. She tries to fight the hold but it's useless and with a swipe of her hand Gowoon slides open the door, tugging her into the airy hospital room.

Her heart thunders in her chest.

She wants to disappear.

"Mom we're here!" Gowoon announces happily vibrating with youthful energy. Her eyes are glued to the checkered floor as she bows silently in greeting.

"H-hello again. I don't know if you remember me but I'm--"

"Sujin sweetie! Why are you acting so formal? Come, come. How have you been? Are you eating all your meals?" The older woman bulldozes past her stilted greeting, pointing to an empty chair next to her bed. She swallows before walking over and sitting down. Gowoon ambles over too hopping onto the edge of her mother's bed, immediately launching into a retelling of her day. She listens heart heavy at being so easily invited into such an intimate moment.

"What about you Sujin? How was your day?" She jumps at the inquiry, looking up to see both women watching her avidly waiting for her reply. This feels foreign, nobody has ever asked her about her day before.

"Um...it was okay. I got a 100 on my math test. I'm eating all my meals. I...um I had a good lunch." She stutters out foolishly adding the last line, thankful that Seojun isn't here to hear the praise who knows how he would have behaved? Surely his mother and sister don’t know that he has been making her food so the comment will be harmless.

An easy smile slides across the mother's face, "Is that so? I'm glad you enjoyed your lunch dear. Great job on your test! If only these kids would come home with news like that." She pokes Gowoon in her belly, to which the other girl folds her arm and humphs sticking out her tongue.

"We can't all be Kang Sujin, beautiful and intelligent like I would get that lucky?" She blushes embarrassed at the compliment waving her arm to brush the words away.

"Hey! What are you saying? You're my sister. I have enough of both of those for both of us." A deep voice sounds from the door and she turns to look at the boy, the fragrant scent of flowers filling the room. He crosses the room in long steps depositing them in an empty vase on the windowsill. They are in a perfect position to receive all the sun's magnificent rays.

So that's where he had been.

Gowoon scoffs at him, grumbling about narcissism and big headed boys but she grows silent as Seojun walks over to her.

He hands a smaller bundle to Gowoon, unlike the white lilies in the vase this bouquet is vibrant with hues of vivid blues, purples and fuchsia , it matches the girls personality perfectly and the smile that laces across her pretty face is enough to singlehandedly sustain the flowers.

"You got me flowers too?" Gowoon asks voice full of suspicion as she accepts the flowers, dipping her nose to sniff at them. She hums excitedly clutching them closer to her chest beaming at her brother.

"I was already there. I figured why not?" He tries to downplay the kind act but she catches the slight pink on his high cheekbones.

It's such a wholesome scene. She feels as if she's intruding by simply being there, especially when she sees the serene smile on their mother’s face watching her children, her pride is palpable.

"Thanks oppa."

He shrugs rubbing his neck, "You're welcome brat."

"What about that bouquet who's that for?" Gowoon innocently asks pointing to another bouquet that was partially hidden in his bomber jacket, bringing her attention to the last bundle in his hands inside a brown bag with a small blue bow tied at the base of the stems.

The pink changes to red.

He awkwardly shuffles under all their watchful eyes, staring out the window with intense focus as if it as the secrets to life.

"Oh my god, I know!" Gowoon exclaims snickering now as she bounces gleefully on the bed. She squirms in her seat trying to think of a believable excuse to leave the room, it couldn't really be for her right? He wasn't crazy enough to give her flowers in front of his family. Right?

"You have a crush on one of the nurses don't you? Seriously oppa, they're all too old for you. You're going to make them uncomfortable, they're just doing their job." Gowoon scolds him wagging her finger and pushing her glasses up the small bridge of her button nose.

Oh.

That made sense. They were for one of the nurses, probably the pretty that had allowed them to stay so late the other night. She had once again gotten ahead of herself, stupid. She should be relieved anyway this was better, if he had another crush then this thing between them would fade away and she'd stop feeling like she was walking on eggshells around him.

"What are you babbling about now? This isn't one of her dramas. I told you I was already there they aren't a big deal. Here, take it." He glares at his sister and shocks Sujin when he turns and thrusts the delicate bouquet at her, roughly placing them in her lap when she doesn’t accept them right away before taking the second empty seat next to his mother's bed. He pointedly avoids eye contact with all of them and she stares down at the flowers in her lap with her mouth open.

They are lovely, deep blues at the base that lightens as your eyes traverse the length of the flowers, baby blue fades to a piercing white making the bouquet look like a work of art itself.

"Oh they're for unnie. Okay. Good I thought you were trying to flirt." Gowoon dismisses the flowers now, turning back to her mother and continuing her story about her day ignoring them both now. She can feel Seojun's eyes hot on her face but she's unable to look away from the flowers in her lap.

Idiot.

She watches the family easily conversing never a lull in their animated conversation and she finally excuses herself, lying about going to find a bathroom. Nobody questions why she's bringing the flowers with her gratefully, she has no plausible reason for why she can't put the flowers down. Seojun stares at her unblinking but he lets her escape without question.

She leans against the solid wall outside the room as soon as the door slides shut, closing her eyes.

In, out. In, out. She coaches herself gulping in air pushing away the light-headed sensation at the base of her skull.

"You still have these pathetic attacks?" Her blood runs cold as the voice she hasn't heard in weeks siphons all the air she had just gifted her empty lungs.

No. No, it can't be.

But once she forces her eyes open she sees that her nightmare is indeed a reality.

Her father stares at her with contempt, his lips thin as they are pulled into a familiar sneer. He's wearing his white lab coat with a stethoscope around his neck and a clipboard in his hands.

Panic rises instantly as she looks at him, breathing is now impossible.

"You're lucky this is where we met. I got your present. It was perfect for the fireplace. I humored your little tantrum but it's over now. I expect you back home, tomorrow. You have another date with the boy you stood up last time. Thankfully your face was worth something. " His tone is conversational but she can see the rage swirling under the façade, his fists are white knuckled on the clipboard. He's barely holding himself back.

She clutches the flowers tighter desperate for support. She feels like she's free falling from a tremendous height.

"What are you doing here? What business do you have here?" He stares at her and she has to get him away, he can't see Seojun they can't meet here, especially outside his mother’s room. The other boy might do something reckless and her father looks dangerous right now, this could end badly. She has to protect him.

"I came to see you. To tell you to sign the papers." She replies with courage she's not currently feeling, it wavers as her father's eye become colder and penetrating.

"I'm not signing anything, you are my property. You better come to your senses before you make me really angry." He threatens her calmly in the hallway, as nurses and doctors walk by bowing to him in respect.

"I'll leave first." She whispers attempting to sidestep around him but he grips her wrist as she passes him, stopping her escape.

He eyes the flowers in her arms and she protectively clutches them in her arms shifting them away from him.

"Don't continue to piss me off. I will make you regret it."

She's ashamed at how frightened his words make her feel, she'd thought that she was strong enough to face him but she was wrong. Stupidly so. She feels small under his gaze her wrist crushing under his powerful grip but she's too scared to even pull away, powerless to stop his abuse.

"People are watching." The method her mother has always used, he might not care about her but he cares about his appearance. His hold loosens at her words until she's free and without pause she scurries away, her feet bringing her to safety until she's outside. She's panting so hard that her body is shaking, kneeling over with the bouquet between her knees.

She sees drops landing on the floor and wonders when it started raining, only to look up and see clear blue skies not a cloud in sight.

His wife whimpered on the ground clutching her face, bright red mark on her swollen cheek. He shook his smarting hand as he tightly gripped the papers in his hand that she had handed him. She had been stupid enough to actually bring this to him, he is tempted to slap her again.

Emancipation papers.

It would have been hilarious if it hadn't enraged him so much, who did she think to defy him? To try to leave when he wasn't done using her? The very idea was preposterous and he would beat it out of her as soon as he dragged her back home. This had gone on long enough, her little rebellion. He had humored it expecting her to come crawling back once he turned off her credit cards, but that hadn't been enough.

He hadn't expected her to have any friends to turn to.

He thrusted the disgusting papers into the blazing fire that he'd lit, smiling darkly as they burnt and turned to ashes. This was how he planned on dealing with her newfound defiance, he would burn it out of her.

The disobedient fool didn't know how good she truly had it, she was lucky all he did was smack her around a little. At least she had a father that cared enough to beat her.

He'd grown up all alone, rich beyond belief but left to fend for himself in hotel after hotel. His parents were only that by title, he'd been raised by a rotating stream of nannies and butlers. Nothing he did was enough to get their attention, even starting fights or cursing at teachers. All his actions were dismissed easily with a envelope of money, teachers and students all sucking up to him and enabling his behavior.

He'd learned at a young age that anybody could be bought and wrong and right was something that only the poor had to adhere by, he was above the law, transcending morality. He could do anything and nobody would stop him. Nobody would dare.

Except his own daughter, perhaps it was karma. A punishment for all his bad deeds, he laughs humorously at the idea. He's getting old now to have thoughts like that. Regardless of what she wants he has no plans of letting her go, she's his to do with as he wishes. That had been the only reason he'd married her pathetic mother and the only reason he hadn't forced her to get an abortion once he learned the sex of the baby. She'd been a beauty despite her pitiful background and he'd hoped that a child of theirs would at least be something worth looking at.

In the end she was, his business partners following her form as she bloomed into a woman. He hadn't cared about their wandering eyes planning on selling her to the highest and most advantageous bidder, and he had found a buyer. Someone that needed him too, combined they could build a formidable partnership. He had a son Sujin's age and he had easily offered his daughter to sweeten the deal.

It was time to bring home his wayward child by any means possible. These childish games were over.

"It's good to see you son. Have you been healthy? Eating well?" Suho sits down bowing his head in greeting to his father, it feels surreal to be sitting here with him but they've come a long way. Therapy has also done wonders to rebuilding their broken relationship, they attend twice a week. Now he can look at his father without pain and guilt scratching at his skin.

"I'm well. Thank you for agreeing to see me. I have to discuss something important with you." He cuts to the chase, unsure of the outcome of this conversation but Sujin hasn't been talking to him and he knows that they need his father's help. They can't take her father down alone, they're just kids.

"It sounds serious. Are you okay?" His father asks voice thick with genuine concern, his brows furrowed.

"It's not about me. It's someone else. I can't tell you much because it's not my story but I need to ask you this, if you had to choose between supporting me or a business partner who would you choose?" His father looks taken back by the question, searching his face with confused eyes.

"Son, what are you talking about? What business partner? Why are you asking this all of a sudden?"

He leans in staring directly into his father's eyes, he can now admit their resemblance as he stares at the face that looks so much like his.

"Dad, please just answer my question. If I needed your support, would you give it to me no matter what?" He questions, watching as his father stares at him in confusion and he waits patiently.

"Suho. I would choose you over anyone, I still need to prove myself if you're still asking me questions like that." He feels a tinge of guilt as his father shuffles away looking at him with a sad smile, he can't deny that. They've come far but there's still a part of him that remembers his father after his mother's passing, remembers blaming his father for years for his friends death. He's working on overcoming those scars but they are deep, beyond his flesh. Etched deep into his heart.

"One day I'm going to need your support. I need you to come without question. I need you to stand beside me." He stares at his father, seven years old again begging for his father's attention, his love.

Unlike his memories though, this time his father grabs his hand shooting him a melancholy smile, before nodding firmly.

"I'll be there. I'll stand beside you son."

Sujin is acting strange, more so than usual. Su-ah can't pinpoint what's wrong but the other girl is more shifty than usual and always staring off deep in thought, not even Seojun seems to know what's wrong with her. She had questioned the boy, he seemed as frustrated as her telling her that she'd started acting like this two days ago.

Nothing she does gets the other girl to talk, Sujin has resolutely slammed her walls firmly back in place. She watches her in the corner of her eye, sighing at the fake smile on the girl’s face it’s obvious to detect them now with all the real ones she's witnessed usually in a certain bad boy's presence.

Taehoon leans into her side, his arm wrapped protectively around her shoulder and she looks back at Seojun watching him watch the other girl. Jukyeong's occupying the space next to Sujin so the boy has no choice but to walk behind her, she can feel his longing. Wishes that Sujin would allow herself to be happy, full-heartedly. She notices how Sujin only allows herself to have Seojun in bursts, pushing him away when things become too much for her to handle. It's not fair to the other boy but she knows it's all her friend has to offer right now.

As they push open the school doors, she sees a swarm of students blocking the way. They are talking excitedly pointing and staring at something she can't see. She stands on her tiptoes trying to get a better view of what's happening, impatiently she pushes past the gossiping girls forcing her way to the front.

There's a guy she's never seen before, her eyes widen when she sees the motorcycle getting a sense of deja vu before glancing back at Seojun, staring impassively at the unknown boy. Everyone begins to look between the two boys, the resemblance is uncanny especially with this stranger showing up on a bike too. They look like doppelgangers, like when the evil twin shows up suddenly in a drama.

"Kang Sujin? Where is she?" The boy shouts to the crowd at large, looking around and she watches Seojun's eyes narrow icing over until they are glacial cold. Then Sujin steps forward looking unimpressed by this show, her resting bitch face in full swing despite the handsome stranger’s grin.

"Why are you looking for me?" She challenges, staring him down and all eyes are on them watching this unexpected meeting.

The boy whips a leg over the sleek bike, dismounting in one fluid motion. He's tall, even taller than Seojun and she can hear her school mates swooning at the mysterious boy, whispering about him being handsome and wishing they were Sujin. Fickle asses, they don't even know anything about him.

"I came to make sure you don't stand me up this time." He answers with a bite, there's a humorless grin on his face. A chill runs down her spine. She shifts closer to Sujin subconsciously, an innate desire to protect her flaring up.

Realization breaks on Sujin's face and she looks away, annoyance clear on her countenance.

"What do you want?" She finally asks looking exasperated with this very public conversation.

"I want the date you owe me. Let's go."

Her eyes narrow at his command not appreciating the way he's talking to her best friend, who is this rude entitled punk? Satisfaction rolls over her as Seojun steps up easily making his presence known as he scowls at the boy.

"Who the hell are you? She’s not going anywhere with you." He interrupts disdain dripping in every syllable as he steps in front of Sujin blocking her completely.

The boy raises a taunting brow at the move, before sneering cruelly right back.

"Who are you to ask me that? Get out of my face asshole." The other boy aggressively barks and she gasps as Seojun steps forward purposely raising his fist but before he can draw back and initiate the move, a dainty hand reaches out capturing his fist. Sujin briskly stops him lowering his hand and she watches as she doesn't release him immediately, standing side by side holding hands. They look like a team.

She's never seen anyone disarm Seojun like that before, Sujin's hand on him seems to evaporate all his rage and he is docile in the wake.

"Don't talk to him like that. You're starting to piss me off, I stood you up for a reason." Sujin steps forward and she wonders if her best friend knows how she looks, stepping in front of Seojun now seemingly defending him back.

The new boy sneers gazing down at their still joined hands, an ugly mean look on his face.

Then he steps forward swiftly and leans down roughly shoving Seojun away, much to the boy's vocal chagrin he stumbles back a few steps before he lunges at the other boy but it's too late he has already whispered something inaudible into Sujin's ear. Sujin steps in front of Seojun again blocking him before he can attack the strange boy, he stops immediately not wanting to hurt the smaller girl. He glares over Sujin’s shoulder, face enraged.

Sujin visibly deflates at the words and she hates the vindictive smile that stretches across the other boys face, she wishes she could punch it off. Who is this asshole?

Sujin seems lost in thought again, miles away even though she's right in front of them. When her face hardens she knows that the girl has reached a conclusion.

"Fine." Sujin finally steps forward, eyes wavering now as she glares defeated at the other boy. Her shoulders are lower now as if she's lost some of her fight, it breaks her heart. "I'll come with you." She weakly agrees voice barely above a whisper.

"Sujin! You don't have to go with him!" She yells leaving her boyfriend's arms and latching onto Sujin's elbow, sending a murderous glare to the asshole who's forcing her friend. She tugs Sujin back, refusing to let her go. She argues as Sujin peels her hands away, smiling sadly at her eyes shiny and hard.

"It's okay. I have to." She grasps at her best friends arm as she walks forward until she's right beside the boy's bike. The whole school is watching with bated breath, unsure of what exactly they're viewing but captivated nonetheless.

He tosses her an extra helmet without warning and it slams into Sujin's chest harshly and she bristles at the other boys callous action.

Sujin starts to put on the helmet before Seojun steps forward again, grabbing her wrist and she lowers the helmet staring up at him. They both stand frozen, eyes locked and she watches as Seojun silently pleads with Sujin, his face is loose and every emotion is written in the frown on his face. Sujin falters momentarily swaying into the tall boy their bodies dangerously close, her own eyes shining even brighter but then the strange boy revs his engine bursting their bubble and Sujin jumps backwards pulling away from Seojun.

Her heart jumps into her throat as she watches Sujin's mouth something to Seojun before turning away, helmet slid down her head roughly before climbing onto the bike. Seojun looks completely crushed when she wraps her arms around the other boys waist, straddling the huge bike.

"You should learn your place." The other boy scowls triumphantly, revving the engine once more.

"Shut up. Let's go." Sujin interrupts the showboating, staring straight ahead. Looking at Seojun she sees exactly why the other girl is avoiding looking at him, if heartbreak was a person it would be him.

Without another word, the mysterious boy knocks the kickstand up and squeezes the throttle and within seconds the bike roars to life, leaving them all behind Sujin's long hair bellowing behind her as they disappear down the road.

She looks over at Seojun, Suho and Jukyeong both look worried too. He stares after Sujin and the unknown boy fuming silently before he spins around, stomping away without a word.

Sujin, I hope you know what you're doing. This might be too much for him to handle.

She stares helplessly as Seojun stalks away, Chorong running after him but unable to keep up with his long gait. He doesn’t want to be caught, shutting them all out.

#true beauty #junjin #bring me to life #bmtl #a cameo #guess who it is #han seojun #kang sujin #it started cute but it can never stay that way with these two #oops #angst #true beauty kdrama

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appledotcodotuk · 3 years

Text

why the hive fckin suck at its job: a rant

spoilers for tgwdlm ahead!

first of all, it's important to consider what exactly the hive's job is. my answer is... who the fuck knows. literally. what is the hive's aim. what do you want Paul? more like, what do you want hive? let's find out!

it kinda evolves, as the play progresses. the intial aim of the hive, and one that does actually remain consistent is the constant burning need to grow and devour and gain more and more (insert capitalism metaphor here).

however, this is distorted by the people it possess who influence that aim, as we'll see later.

also the fact it crashes into a theatre displaying Mamma Mia gives the hive the motive it need to fit the world around it to the structure of the musical. having no originality of its own, the hive instead just picks up what is given to it. kinda like an evil baby.

it wants uniformity, that is indeed its ultimate goal and desire, no duh. it thinks it can achieve that through musical theatre, shame that the hive is dead wrong. cause the hive fucking sucks at its own job / aim / ultimate purpose / one concrete goal that motivates all its actions.

can't maintain control over its subjects

okay, so, the hive wants uniformity. it wants everyone to be dancing to the beat of its own tune. right? yeah. shame it literally can't keep its own possessed subjects in line at all. at the risk of sounding like the 10th doctor waxing lyrical abt humanity for the 50th time, humans are really difficult to control cause we're not really motivated by an altruistic allegiance to one primary good. we've got icky emotions that often move us to do stupid unpredictable stuff way more. it makes me wonder if the reason the hive wanted to use musical theatre to try and persuade ppl was cause it seems to think that is how theyll get emotive humans; through emotive songs. anyways. let's look at some examples shall weeeee?

Mr Davidson:

so, Mr Davidson. funnily enough, he's the guy whose in part acting as the hive trying to figure out what it wants through his interactions w/ Paul. every person it possess gives it just a bit more humanity and curiosity abt the world it is currently taking over. at least I think so. hence why as the musical develops u get character's like possessed!Alice wondering 'why does it hurt to love?' - the change in music and mood to something much more introspective really suggests to me that the hive is beginning to question the thoughts and emotions of its human hosts.

Mr Davidson is a family man through and through, he loves his wife Carol. she's his muse, his source of light. his feelings for her are not concrete or easy to explain and solve - hence why his sudden ahem demand of her is so hilarious and also jarring. it completely clashes with the 'I want song' which is simple, and often pushes forward a wider cause. not so with Mr Davidson, he just really loves his wife man. enough to break a frickin alien possession.

tbh I think its hilarious that (at least to me) the hive has to force him to forget and continue with the song, like, he straight up is just talking to his wife in that phone call, talking, not singing. so, no possession until he reverts back into song. ergo, the hive cannot maintain the uniformity it wants. even from the get go when theoretically its control should be stronger cause it has less ppl to co-ordinate. bad. at. its. job.

Paul:

this one hurts folks. yes, I know it's generally agreed, though somewhat debated that the state of Paul by the end of the tgwdlm is not purely possessed. I agree. once again, the hive is unable to truly enforce uniformity.

at this point, the motives of Paul and the hive are kinda just mixed, neither fully human nor fully alien. hence the constant shifts between pleeing for her to get away, to hide, to stay safe: 'what if the only choice is you have to sing to survive' and just full on old style hive nastiness 'let me puke in your mouth and just open your food bin girl' (so romantic 🥰 /j).

the hive has gone away from its original aim, and become something... different. no longer stuck to just one type of genre or style of song, it's really clever to show the developing complexity of the hive by showing how it is now juggling lots of different motifs with references to all the old songs from before recontextualised in a new way - its learning. evil baby... no longer uniform.

general miscommunication:

there are several instances of the hive not fully having uniform control over its subjects. for instance, right after not your seed with the three teens having to like... calibrate. they aren't just completely connected then?? also, this is a very small thing, but uhhhh at the end of inevitable when Paul is about to say the apotheosis is upon... the chorus interrupts him with USSSSSSS. interruptions??? not very in sync of u hive.

I think this inability to exert uniformity is also shown in the contrast between genre of musical theatre. my alien abomination cannot decide whether it wants to be the more modern edgy rock musical (join us (and die), not your seed ) or super happy go lucky old style musical theatre (lah dee dah dah day, and inevitable). it tries to do both, even while trying to encourage union, and sticking to one thing. hypocrite!!!!!

2. aims are guided by the people it possess

so, I mentioned this a bit already, but the hive isn't only mutating the humans, the humans are mutating the hive right back. this is more an interesting observation than any actual analysis but let's goooo.

greenpeace girl:

I think it's very likely that greenpeace girl is one of the first to be possessed. This is probably easily debunkable but whatever this analysis is flying by the seat or its pants anywayyyyy. why? cause where else would it pick up that whole 'this planet needs fixing' thing? it's interesting too, cause it morphs from expressing the desire to join hands and sing together, unity and peace with no actual action behind it. this then goes right to the other end, with the hive going 'fine I'll do it myself' and trying to save things by enforcing a dictatorship on the world. it develops and changes, and strays from its original means of accomplishing its aims! speaking oooooof...

3. inconsistent in means of accomplishing aims

okay, ur an evil hive mind. u think musicals are the way to win over these silly humans cause they're all weak and emotive and seem to respond to them. but, wait! schwoopsie! you haven't realised that for emotional depth and growth to mean anything, you need there to be established development and well... growth. otherwise the sentiments are as vague as the ones expressed in What Do You Want, Paul?

this show has genuine emotional moments, just not really during the musical numbers WITH EXCEPTIONS. any strife is smoothed over quickly, and so the development and change that would have to go into such growth is just gone. (see, You Tied Up My Heart) all so it can achieve its own desire to grow and grow and grow, maybe a metaphor for art being killed under late stage capitalism??

what actually matters is the impact the songs have afterwards, in causing a death - because we have a bond and care abt these characters. those short scenes between Paul and Emma are actually way more resonant than any song. except... inevitable, and also not your seed a bit. at this point the hive has learnt a thing or two, and can actually twist human emotion a little. but for it to do that, it has to reject the uniformity it prizes, and be adaptable. point towards being more human than it first thought? methinks so. and yet it's just not enough...

it's also why let it out, to me, feels really ingenuine. Paul has expressed himself in much better ways already. what they're doing is clearly paining him, and hurting the guy. he's terrified bless.

you can't force someone into being emotional vulnerable, man.

it's why all the deaths for the characters who are forced to express themselves are really violent, involving them being ripped open - literally forcing them to expose themselves from the 'inside out' as Alice reflects in Not Your Seed. you can't force genuine emotional connection, it has to be fostered, shown in the much more affecting relationship of Paul and Emma. the only reason the hive actually has power over our characters is because of these genuine emotional connections, which it tries and often fails to take advantage of, resulting in just resorting to brute violence. messy hive, very messy.

at the core, the musical's a kinda attack on that toxic positivity mindst: trying to force people to reach the sort of easy solutions by sharing feelings in a way that feels pretty invasive and deciding you are instantly fixed. the problems these characters face are jarringly not really what you'd expect a character in a musical to face, cheating, a lot of it, mid-life crisis. problems that are bland, or wayyyy too real. this is purposefully done, to reveal just how silly the hive's aim to use musical theatre to solve everyone's problem is. life is more complex than that smh.

4. a human can write a much more expressive, and genuine song than they ever could lol

u know which song I'm talking abt. what more is there to say. so much for making persuasive songs to tempt people over.

5. make me sad cause they took some perfectly nice ppl and funked them up 😭

this was a stupid point lol. basically I'm just bitter that this hive took a bunch of perfectly okay ppl and gave them hive brain. screw u hive. I swear I'm gonna watch Black Friday soon, cause I'm sure it's gonna completely destroy every thought I've had so far, but whateve,,, just take this as a look at tgwdlm like it's a stand-alone piece.

these guys are supposed to all be 'individuals' on one level, but also 'appendages of a much larger organism'. there's a little too much individualism and fracturing to be cohesive enough to do that I feel. the hive to me is not an infallible, unstoppable force, in fact, every human it takes over only brings it closer to understanding us. so that's maybe a slight positive note??? idk ?! I just have lots of thoughts and feelings abt this musical even if this doesn't make sense I'm proud i wrote it down hehe.

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redxblueihateloveyou · 3 years

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Hey!! 👋🏽😄 I know you said in your last rant about SK8 and Reki and Renga that you were one of those people that always looks up and learns from others, but after your last Langa edit, I just wanted to remind you how immensely talented you are. I might have not seen your first attempts at editing, but I know how it looks like when you're barely starting something, and I'm sure everyone is proud of the progress you've made and many people looks up to you as the level of skill they want to achieve. You're doing amazing! 💖💖💖

Hi, my love!!!!!! ASDFSDFGHG that’s soooo sweet, thank you so much for saying this, it really means the world to me <3 Oh, haha I’ve deleted most of my old videos so it wouldn’t hurt anyone’s eyes lmao T_T I’m still a bit nervous each time I’m uploading my vids to the day to be honest, even with so many subs rn, but at first I really didn’t have any supporters at all and my god I sucked at this, but I guess the love for my fav ships was stronger apparently haha. So I always get silly happy at each nice comment and feedback, so thank you seriously.

I really love love love vidding, Idk why but when smth comes out the way I wanted it’s a super addictive feeling for some reason, but many times I just looked at the final result and just threw it in the trash and started over and my god how many times SonyVegas crushed and didn’t autosave the project. I’m like Suga now, I’m pressing the save button each 2 minutes, cause don’t want to lose anything xD Being someone’s inspiration is truly an honor to me, I’ve got some messages that hit me too hard. Still feels weird bc I’m like “but do you know that I can’t even use photoshop tho, how do u like me now then?” lol.

I’m always drawn to talented characters, bc they amaze me, esp the humble ones. Like those who hate Haru or Lanaga just buffle me honestly. I understand that they’re pretty and talented and everything, but they’re also the sweetest and loveliest human beings, so like...??? And I adore those who don’t whine and get what they want. I just can’t help it. I’m a strong believer in the fact that "you can do anything if you put your mind to it”. So far it worked in real life so suck it lol.

People are also saying like Langa doesn’t deserve to win this and Haru doesn’t deserve to be in Olympics, like Langa didn’t snowboard since he was 2 and Haru wasn’t swimming every day since he was born. I’m like.. and you need to check in the mirror if your face is a shade of green. BTW I’ve also been in a professional sports for quite a long time since I was a little kid, ballroom dancing and adored it back then, and I did not get jealous at ppl who were talented than me, I was watching the tapes actually with a popcorn. And oh god those large competition events when you sit there for days and give it all, but then you’re like 296 out of 1000. Why was I proud instead of being sad? Idk xD It was fun.

So thanks for liking the vid, cause I even regretted uploading it a bit yesterday. Sadly everyone already knows that we lost this fandom to the middle schoolers being extra, so they do not care for anything each episode except for this ship, so that’s what I got for posting a just Langa vid:

And etc. and that just made me sad, cause I do not like such fandoms, like it’s not even related to the video, that I’ve been making... with love. Also thanks for the "sama” title, I’m flattered, but editor only wants to vid matchablossom for now, so like there’s no need for any warnings. I’ve been in such horrendoes fandoms, that I’m immune to this. I also in fact didn’t know some keep ruining Langa’s page and saying that he steals Reki’s screen time... cause he’s aparently the only main character...? ...lmao? I didn’t even know Langa can be hated tbh. I wasn’t really ready for all the drama that followed me making a vid about him.

I’ve already deleted some comments, cause I’m like what this even has to do with the vid about Langa? No, I am not obliged to make a vid about Reki, too. What if I post a matchablossom vid, everyone will only start commenting “do renga”, cause fuck your efforts? I’m like... I hate such fanbases, seriously. I do not even know where this is going, but their fans are already pissing me off. I’m still trying hard for this to not affect my point of view about the ship, cause it’d be kinda unfair to them, but its getting harder each week istg.

And I maybe can’t take requests, but I love when some try to get me addicted on their ship with passion and great arguments. It happened to me with some nice ppl. But def not with agression and stupidity haha.

Cause apparently its one of the fandoms where you can’t NOT care for the main ship, even if you accept it for the only possible Langa ship (cause he doesn’t give a shit for anyone else, so like what’s the point), but it doesn’t do anything for you. I’m like... thanks for threatening. This will make me on board ASAP. Like it’s not the epitomy of love to me... I’m sorry? LMAO

Some anon even sent me a “you’re dense” (literally thats it) ask after that Reki ask. I was tempted to write smth like “oh I’m sorry, this is the most epic love story of my life and his character is the most complex in the world and he’s the best friend and the most inspiring human being that ever hit my screen. can I become undense now? xD”. But you know I do not know if they’d realise the sarcasm and my pride sadly never allowed me to sell my life values for a bunch of 12 years olds to love me lol

My sister always laughs and jokingly says “but you’d probably get much more subs if you made a vid about this or that, but at what price that would be lmao”. Cause yeah, I never could make myself vid smth I do not like, cause I love vidding and do not want it to be associated with things I do not like, plus it’ll most likely turn out ugly, if I do not care. My mom says that she can feel love I put in my shipping vids that’s why she loves them. I really don’t think she’s wrong. But that also kinda makes me an idiot technically, cause I’m not into many of the popular ships, and some popular animes I just find really basic.

Also I’m like 100% sure it ain’t happening, but even if they miraculously suck each other’s dicks while sitting on a skate board, I can still have the rights not to care at the end. Like did I sign some form where I’m obliged to love each and everyone canon gay ship even if it’s not what I like? Like gay is not the type of love in relationships. You can only care about his ass like Lan Zhan for example or you can only care about your ass. Like that’s different types of relationships, and whatever you like you like. So get all the way of people’s backs, please.

Also do ppl know that you do not need to be blind to the bad sides of the characters in your ships? Or you just gonna be like “I suddenly can’t see” for forever.

So really thanks for such wonderful message and liking the video and for the boosts when I need them and not being an ass to me if I’m not being obsessed with smth, when you like it. (like I think we have different ship in bnha, right? but we’re still doing great tho, thanks for being an angel <3)

I still didn’t expect this becoming a Voltron 2.0. situation tho. We in our twenties see everything differently, I guess. I do get extra about “their love is everywhere”, but I do not get extra by anonymously attacking ppl, threatening creators and yelling “queeerbating psychotic blind assholes if these two aint fucking by the end of the season I’m shaving my head and jumping out of the window and shoot the director. you do not ship it HARD? YOU DUMB FUCK. THAT’S THE BEST LOVE STORY IN THE WORLD”. Like damn, take your blinders off and see the world, kid. Firstly, it’s definitely not, secondly, ppl see love differently in general and at each age too.

Ah, also you must kill Adam, cause he’s a pedo apparently. Like he ain’t even a threat to your ship, unless you’re blind, but they’re still at it, like they do not know that this kind of age difference is literally nothing for an anime? And that there are canon ships with a huger age difference left and right, too. It’s like its their first time approaching an anime or smth. Like in anime world character can literally kill 1000 ppl with his bare hands and bathe in their blood and we can still stan them, depends on their story, ok? Also Langa couldn’t care less for his advances, so like separate Adam from your ship pls. Like, fuck off, if someone is interested in his character. Yeah, he’s a weirdo for reasons, but anime kind of weird do not apply to real life. Stop acting like you’re some purist, when later you’re gonna ship smth else and it suddenly will not apply. Also rules do not apply to animes, everyone knows they do not apply. These are not western cartoons, my god. And 24 years old flirting with 16 year old is defiinitely not the weirdest shit anyone has ever seen in the anime. Chinese BL has characters who were 14 and 30 when they met and happily married. Also FICTION is not life. Literally no one cares. If you’re scared for your saint eyes, do not watch animes, you’re gonna have a heart-attack from what you can see there. Also we’ve seen gayer bromances in animes, who are just bromances, so pls do not shoot anyone if it’s not canon.

So basically I was kinda pissed yersterday, cause fuck them for ruining the tag, but after chatting with my hommies and your ask, I’m okay again, I just have to avoid this fandom and stick to a tight community xD. I just got used to my nice fandoms and forgot for a bit about the precautions you need to take if you’re in one of those. You know. Who make a circus out of lgbt, instead of supporting it, and make other ppl hate being in fandoms.

P.S. sorry for this partially unrelated rant, your messages really always make my heart bloom, so thanks for supporting me, and I know you’re proud of my progress, too <3 and this makes me happy. LY

#answered #heavensweetheart #sk8 #sk8 the infinity #in such moments you for a moment don't even want to vid this fandom anymore #like seems more pain in the ass than joy #but then denying smth bc of stupid ppl is also dumb #so its like I need to breathe and not go to the tags or twitter #sjws ruin everything #anime #I'd rather go spend some time in my chill fandom with less ppl but more adults

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