#i'm trying my best here i promise

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

"See you tomorrow"

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 4 [prev parts]

#better drawn mdzs #MDZS Disco Elysium AU #mdzs au #Lan wangji #wei wuxian #yiling laozu #Happy Belated Halloween! #digital art #Thank you all for your patience as I drove myself into a madness only known by those lost at seas alone. #I put a lot of time into this one! It's not perfect but I am very happy with it + I am so happy to put down the tablet pen. #Digital art has some nice features but I'm sticking with traditional! I need a month to recover from the 2+ weeks of torture. #Okay lets talk about the AU and the comic now #Disco elysium has some of the best existential-horror-dream sequences I have ever seen. #The dialogue here is heavily inspired by The Final Dream - A scene I'd love to talk about more were it not so heavy with spoilers. #My AU is a lot more complex than a simple character swap but I really felt like LWJ + YLLZ fit this scene. #The final dream is about being unable to move on from a lost love. From something You made holy. From something You ruined. #It is about realizing that no matter how smart you are or what you offer or how you try to change - #You will never be able to turn back time. You will never ever be able to fix what is broken. That you also have been broken for a long time #You are a fuck-up who worships the nail covered ground of someone who did not want to be holy. And even though it hurts- #You cannot let this nightmare go. The pain keeps the love close. It is worse to forget. You promised to remember. #WWX died thinking LWJ disliked him. LWJ lost someone he thought was revolted by his love.

[thepetesimp]

For a fic prompt, I’d love to read something about Pete being sick or hurt and needing care that isn’t related to aftercare post-sex. I’ve found a fair few fics centered on Vegas dealing with being sick and cared for (and Pete basically bullying Vegas into letting him care for Vegas), but haven’t found nearly as many focused on Pete in a non-sexual context. I think that would be interesting and lends itself to your style of writing (at least from what I’ve read of your writing, which is just the VegasPete posted on AO3). I love your work, btw! Thanks for being a fandom author-y’all never get enough credit ❤️

Hello, my dear anon! Thank you so, so much for your kind words and your gorgeous prompt ❤️ Generally, Vegas taking care of Pete is one of my favorite concepts. We got crumbs in the show, crumbs, and I desperately need more of that. Thank you for giving me the incentive to do it myself, though I have dipped my toes into it a little bit before with the things you can(not) change, which had Vegas taking care of Pete emotionally. Btw, I'm very sorry for being late in replying to this, but I had a bit of trouble coming up with an idea for it until I got hit with some very specific feels, and now here I am, with 5 whole ass pages of words that made me decide to turn this concept into a proper fic. Looking forward to posting it in 2025 lmao. Here's a part of it: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Pete woke up laying on his bed, with no recollection of how he got there. The last thing he remembered was going to the kitchen for some water and the noise coming out of Macau's room. It was probably because of that new game he bought last week that he wanted to play so much. His whining suggested he wasn't very good at it. Pete didn't know what happened after that. He was feeling disoriented, floaty. His head was throbbing. There was bile stuck at the back of his throat, which he couldn't swallow. His mouth was dry. His body was heavy, restricting his movements. He tried opening his eyes, but he got dizzy by the light coming in from outside. He closed them again. "Why didn't you tell me you were sick?" Fuck. When did Vegas come back? Where was Macau? Pete took in a shallow breath, trying to quiet down his heartbeat. He didn't open his eyes. Vegas sounded angry. He had to calm him down, somehow. "Vegas..." "Macau called me in a panic, because he found you unconscious in the kitchen. He thought you died. I did too, when I saw you."

Vegas was holding back tears, Pete could tell; there was a certain way his voice hitched when he spoke like that, vulnerability leaking from his tongue. He sounded small, too, like when he used to do comparisons that led him nowhere. Pete didn't like it when Vegas was talking like that. The fact that he reverted to that state because of him made it even worse. "I'm sorry." "Don't-" He didn't conclude what he was going to say. Pete could hear sniffing, but nothing else. Not looking at Vegas' face was killing him. He opened his eyes with extreme difficulty and found Vegas staring at him, with red smeared across the edges of his own eyes and sweat gathered on his forehead. He was too far away. He wasn't touching him. "Vegas," Pete said, lifting his arm in Vegas' direction, despite how much he couldn't. Vegas widened his eyes and dropped his gaze. He held back a sob. He didn't take Pete's hand. "You look the same as back then." Pete let his arm fall on the bed, stunned by Vegas' words. How could he be so stupid? He completely forgot. He didn't know why. Maybe because everything that had happened at the safehouse had always seemed like a weird dream to him, one that he never really woke up from. Pete didn't have any words of comfort to give. His stomach started acting funny. He hoped it wouldn't lead to vomiting. He hadn't done that since his adolescent days, which had been filled with boxing and violence. "It's not your fault I'm sick," was all he could offer in the end. "I should have been here, taking care of you-" "You had an important meeting with Porsche," Pete reminded him. "Fuck Porsche." He had thought about it once. How it would feel to have sex with Porsche. Pete imagined it'd be simple. Uncomplicated. Fun, even. Now, it sounded painful, more so than all the things Vegas did to him. Perhaps Vegas was right getting concerned about Pete's health after all. He felt a hand touching his forehead. It was cold and sweaty. Pete wished it could get glued there. "Shit, your fever is high. Have you eaten anything?" "No." He felt Vegas suck in a breath, before he heard it. "I'm cooking you something to eat." He tried to get up, but Pete caught him before he could escape. A low, whining sound scratched his sore throat. "Sleep with me. You look tired." "Pete," Vegas warned. "You're burning up and you need to eat." "Just for a little while. It'll help." Vegas sighed. The sound came out unsteady. His bottom lip quivered, or Pete thought it did. His vision was too blurry to be sure. "Fine, but you're taking something for the fever first." Pete smiled tiredly at him. He didn't thank him. He would hate that.

#I love this idea sosososoSOSOSO much #Anon what did you do to me? I'm losing my mind here #I'm sorry this doesn't have much of what you asked heh #but it's laying the groundwork for what's to come I promise #I can't promise the fic to be written and posted soon though #but it'll happen #I'll try my best #kinnporsche the series #vegaspete #fanfic writing #writers asks

[iknowwhereyousnoozeatnight]

if ur still doing requests pls rem if not das all g

she’s chrysanthemum-coded to me <3

close-ups ig

#ask #death note #rem #very messy i apologize #was extra messy here because i was playing with a new brush and by that i mean a default brush that i've never touched before #i actually quite like it very fun i typically like brushes that are 100% or close to 100% opaque but this was fun i like how it layered #i think i'm gonna finalize my idea and perhaps render something fully for once because i feel up to it if flowers are involved #but i promise nothing #drew these left to right btw. there were also like 2 more but they were small and i gave up on them so wjatever #i like the last one the best i think i needed a bit to figure out how i wanted the petals to lay and i like that one the best #the silhouette feels good i like the shape the back i did start trying smth asymmetrical but rem is very symmetrical and i find the symmetr #paired with the wings feels very regal and powerful and almost cape-like as a silhouette which i am a fan of #if i did finish something i might add misa in which case i need to think of what flower she most resembles roses are too easy i need smth #else but i will decide that later bc i am writing this very late at night and now i'm gonna queue it up for tomorrow bc i am going somewher #so goodbye goodnight good day idk what time it is for you. so #WAIT I SHOULD DO RYUK TOO WAIT WAIT soon. soon. he will be a bug yes yessss wait wait if he's a bug i want misa to be butterfly themed #like maybe a beetle of some kind? no no no wasp? ant? i'll think abt it #light would prob be some sort of poisonous plant? idk if u have thoughts idk tell me i'm getting into this bc i'm deprived of springtime at #and it is making me silly :3 teehee anyway i will Think about this and get back to it soon enough #gooddbye bye bye sayonara you weeaboo shits idk. bye

[coffee-dere]

Project Sekai x Sanrio is a thing now and I'm going insane over it 🎀 ^^

#Project sekai #prsk #pjsk #Hatsune miku #Hatsune Miku vocaloid #pjsk x sanrio #project sekai x sanrio #Coffee's scribbles #my art #Sanrio #Hello Kitty #🎀 #Seriously though I haven't seen anything about it yet on here.. #AND LIKE LOOK AT ENA AND AIRI'S CARDS THEY'RE GORGEOUS?? #Time to start saving my crystals again ... T~T" #Also it's... six in the morning right now sorry if I'm not making sense I pulled an all nighter for this one lol #I'm trying my best at least!!! I promise!!!

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

Fanny: Nickey Barclay, Alice de Buhr, Jean Millington, June Millington, c. 1970s (per the source, photo "courtesy of Alice de Buhr")

#Fanny band #Nickey Barclay #Alice de Buhr #Jean Millington #June Millington #I'm starting to make good on my promise/goal to post more Fanny. which includes photos at this point #there are LIKE NO fucking photos of Fanny on this website even though there are SOOOOO MANY on FB that June Millington posts :') #though I will try not to take and post any of those. certainly not without her permission ;n; #also the first time I saw this (on FB) I was like I LOVE THIS PHOTO SO MUCH. BEST AWKWARD BAND PHOTO I'VE EVER SEEN. #(literally you can check the Fanny for R&RHOF FB group. I literally said that. and I think June or Alice liked my comment. LMAOOOO) #I love June's Ritz sweater though omg. like unironically I love it. I love Ritz crackers. also June looks great in it! #but tbh Jean is the best dressed here. I WANT her pants and whatever that top is. a vest? fuck! whatever it is she looks amazing :'D

[a-dragons-journal]

What is your opinion on clinical lycanthropes being in/interacting with otherkin spaces?

(Sorry for the delay on this.)

I mean... honestly, I don't have much of an opinion beyond the "if someone isn't hurting anyone, leave them alone" principle and the fact that I don't restrict the definition of "otherkin" based on the reason for someone's nonhuman identity.

(...I said that, and then I wrote several paragraphs expanding on that opinion, but it does boil down to that, I promise. :P)

I see very few potential problems that can be caused by delusion-based and non-delusion-based nonhuman identities interacting with each other, and most of them - confusion between "delusion" and "belief," risk of encouraging harmful delusions, etc. - are already kept in mind and addressed by basically all the endels and clinical lycanthropes I've met. Generally speaking, no one knows how to handle delusions better than the people who experience delusions.

The concerns I've seen people raise are largely problems with individual people, not problems to warrant trying to shun an entire group of people for the crime of having a disorder or anything. (And, frankly, a lot of them are concerns that apply just as easily to nonhumans who aren't clinical lycanthropes but go "off the deep end," as it were, with spirituality and magical/astral explanations for everything.)

Is a nonhuman identity that's affected by or even based in clinical lycanthropy the same as your average otherkin experience? No. But then, what is the "average" otherkin experience exactly? There's already an enormously broad range of experience under the term "otherkin" - people with one kintype or two or twelve or thirty, people who shift on a near-daily basis or never shift or are always shifted, people who are animals down to the bone with all the unpleasant and gross instincts to accompany and people who are part of a civilization more civilized and enlightened than humanity has ever been, people whose nonhumanity stems from past lives or psychological quirks or misplaced souls or unconscious imprinting or coping mechanisms, etc. etc.

The common thread among us all is nonhuman identity - and if that's present enough in someone who experiences clinical lycanthropy to make them feel comfortable in and connected to the otherkin community, then who am I to tell them they're not permitted because their reason for that identity and the precise experiences tied to it for them are different from mine, when that's already the case for so many people in our community?

#otherkin #clinical lycanthropy #endel #but that's just my two cents' worth #rani talks #asked and answered #anonymous #i still feel like this might just be bait but tbh i'm firm enough in my answer that i don't. really care #i'll answer it on the still-significant chance that it's just genuine #and if i'm wrong and it is bait then if this is the thing you're gonna try to cancel me about you have picked a weird hill to die on lmao #forgive me if i've phrased anything weirdly here btw when it comes to clinical lycanthropy #i've had a long couple of weeks and my wordsing is probably not at the top of its game #promise i am doing my best

[stillcominback]

🎀 🎀 🎀

#hi cuties! just doing a quick little check-in since it's been a minute ✨ #still not really checking tumblr cause there's just too much going on and i'm trying to find some joy here getting settled in a new home! #i do check here and there though so if you wanna hit up the IMs i'll for sure get back to you!! 💕 #ANYWHO: things are going okay! kinda same old but just trying to enjoy what i can and take a day at a time #started talking to a recruiter today and she was so sweet (and my age which is a bonus) so i'm hoping she'll be a good help ... #... in the old job search (while i keep looking on my own as usual of course) but still! having someone who's JOB it is to search for me?? #feels promising??? i hope! #(even tho in all honesty this job search stuff has been peak deflating and depressing but! we keep movin!) #i'm also super excited that my mom is treating me for xmas/my bday to a trip to london to visit my best friend #(since they weren't actually able to come visit for the holidays sadly) but i think it's gonna be special and healing 😌💕 #i think that covers most of the things!! pretty pleeeease come hit me up on discord!! #i would love to chat and write more there and have servers and all that fun stuff so don't be shy! #love and miss you all so much *big hugs to the dash* #00. // OUT OF AMMO ( OOC POST. )

[boyswhowawa]

Request #7: Batflies

a request for a friend on discord! sometimes it's okay just to do simpler little sillies, i'm still starting out, I have to pace myself since this is all still a little overwhelming, ajsd;lfk I hope you guys don't mind being patient with me

#rain world #rain world art #art #doodle #rain world survivor #the survivor #survivor #batfly #rain world batfly #art by foxes #i'm doing my best #and i promise to keep doing that #it's easy for me to get anxious nowadays #so #thank you if you stick with me #i like it here #so far at least #asjasj;kfdaj;fdafds #and i wanna try and share my ideas #and make friends #oh i forgot some tags #requests #requests open

[elliesbelle]

lol

#humungous trigger warning for the tags in the post #but i just need to vent somewhere and i don't want people irl to be in my business about this #or to get too worried and all... #tw: mentions of death and weapons and mental illness and suicide and sh-ing and abuse etc. #please feel free to ignore like i said i just need somewhere to vent #anyway i'm just so sick of being alive fr i've been so massively suicidal this past week and i'm so tired #having bpd AND bipolar AND depression AND ptsd and etc.... #it really hurts so much #and my personal life is in fucking shambles like i just don't know what to do anymore #i feel so fucking alone all the goddamn time #so many friends don't give a fuck about anymore like they straight up just don't check up on me or anything #and my ex... i just. why can't you be more fucking understanding of what i'm fucking going through because of you #how the fuck did you turn my months-long depressive episode into me not caring about you cause i couldn't open about what i was going thru #i get you were fucking lonely but i was trying not to fucking die i was over here being talked off ledges #and then sending me a voice memo saying that you were lonely and trying to make an effort but i just didn't care about any of it #it's not fucking about you!!!! i didn't even let my own girlfriend or best friend in!!!! that's what fucking mental illness is!!!!!! #you promised that you'd be more understanding about my mental illnesses when we started talking again #what the fuck is this then? #why am i breaking down every time that you ignore me or take forever to text #like... she's gone back to calling me by my name instead of calling me 'baby' like she always has #she hasn't called me by my name since we first started talking it's been literally fucking years #and not saying i love you to me anymore... #and how can you fucking promise to stay in my life and still be my 'friend' and then fucking ignore me and don't answer my text messages #how the fuck am i supposed to feel that you haven't responded to me in over 24 hours but you react to days old ig messages from me #i fucking hate having borderline for fucking real i hate that she's my fp it hurts so fucking much #i feel like a fucking child i can't deal with this #i literally woke up from my sleep at like 3 or 4 am this morning nearly screaming #and then my gf found me on the living room couch crying and cuts all over my arm and a kitchen knife next to me #my left arm has been stinging all day from the fresh wounds #too painful to bandage them at the moment

[felizusnavidad]

Wait what a WICKED series about favourite songs?? But no rush. I’m sorry you’re feeling the way you’re feeling; I’m there with you! Take a break 💜

#for that i have to listen to wicked first #or find a good slime tutorial #i promise i will i still have one week off so i'll try my best! #& thank you i appreciate that very much 🤍 #anon #i saved every letter you wrote me* #(i'm not here i was just checking messages)

[happi-tree]

soooooo i don't have much new to post for wipweds this week so i thought i'd grab a little something from my archives! a ton more people were curious about The Raven and The Dove than i expected, so here's a little excerpt from my amphibia school for good and evil au! in which marcy learns a tiny bit of archery and sasha has some Feelings about it 💗💚

#i was so taken by this scene in the movie that it was literally the first thing i wrote for this au. head in my hands gay people real <3 #the sasharcy in this. very self-indulgent very off the charts. the sashanne and marcanne too but that is not the focus here lmao #anyway. hiiiiiii amphibia fandom i am not like. super dead dndads has just had a very sudden and firm grasp on my heart as of late hsbfkahv #also there's a brief glimpse at sasha's backstory here. it really sucks when you're meant to be the paragon of all that is good and pure #and you have the eyes of an entire realm on you at all times. and you keep pushing the envelope of what's proper #i.e. not wearing the frilly dresses all of the time taking up fighting etc. this would already be hard enough if you were a regular student #but you aren't that. everyone is watching you and has Expectations for you and you know what you want but you can't let yourself have it #so you just repress things so hard. cling to whatever you can get away with and try your very best to excel at everything they let you have #and then in come marcy and anne and you've never seen two people less concerned with The Rules. their existence itself flips the script #and you have NO idea what to do about that! other than panic internally ofc <3 #anywho. sorry the sasha bias really came through with this one i just think her pov in this would be so inch resting #okok i'm done now i promise #cartoons #amphibia #sasharcy #happi scribbles #happi rambles #also. if ppl like this please do lmk bc while i doubt i'll finish this i do have a few more disjointed bits i could post up for y'all <3 #tartd au

[taegularities]

please dont leave</3

love you all to bits 🤍

#yk what... #one thing those miserable anons had right was that i do love y'all's attention/affection/validation. it's why i'm still here too #and that attention affection and validation are reciprocated bc im gonna catch a bullet for y'all >:( #the community here is amazing and beautiful and i'd be damned if i didn't enjoy it and let ppl who mean nothing to me kill that joy lol #everyone in the inbox is right — i can't do more than own up for my mistakes n i WILL try my absolute best to be better and not hurt anyone #i promise #so yeah thank u <3 to those who are mad stay mad i can do nothing for you so go dissect this too #(none of those anons were in MY inbox btw) (i won't perceive those anymore so keep talking to yourself ig) #(but YOU guys were all SO sweet thank you again!!!) #anyways #notes for rid 🌹 #anon

[yuichiroswife]

{ Ah yes, the "I'm suddenly remembering my ex-fiancé and miss him because us splitting up was my fault for being anxious about moving in together" feeling slapping me in the face at like... 10:39 PM is exactly what I need on top of all the natural sadness I feel about my daily life. Thank you, brain.

That aside, I hope that y'all had a good Thanksgiving or whatever it is that you celebrate where you're from or even just had a good day if you don't celebrate anything. }

#{ Life why do you hate me so much? } #{ Why do you feel the need to do things like this to me? } #{ All I wanna do is be able to write some drafts and asks. } #{ Is that too much for me to ask for? } #{ I've been sitting on drafts that I keep promising to answer for months. } #{ But my brain won't let me write anything. } #{ Trying my honest to god best out here and it just isn't cutting it. } #{ Also kinda sad that my friend said she'd visit me while she was in my city but never did. } #{ Especially since she's an online friend and I never get those kinds of chances due to the fact I'm broke. } #{ Hurray for poverty. :D *sarcasm* } #{ Anyway... as always I will try to do stuff but at this point it's better just to not expect anything from me. } #{ If you don't like these kinds of posts just... block me or whatever. I honestly don't care at this point. } #tw; negative #✠ [ ' ʙʟᴏᴡɪɴɢ ᴏғғ sᴛᴇᴀᴍ. ' ] - ✡ ʀᴀɴᴛɪɴɢ/ᴠᴇɴᴛɪɴɢ ✡ #✠ [ ' ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ʟᴇᴀᴅs ʙᴇʜɪɴᴅ ᴄʟᴏsᴇᴅ ᴅᴏᴏʀs. ' ] - ✡ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ✡

[incorrect-koh-posts]

TikTok literally brought me here in this fandom and the thirst for content is real — honestly, it's a harsh desert out here and brought me in your account. Quality content tho!

Also, by any chance, do you have any "King Baldwin IV X Reader" one shots written by you or anybody else? (At this point, you may have already discovered that most of us come after the same King Baldwin IV and we're not sorry for that because — that mask and obvious wits tho)

There's KoH content on TikTok??? God, I'm old, lol - TikTok is a place where I'm totally out of my comfort zone 😂 But I'm happy you found your way here and like what we've got going on so far!

And yes, both the thirst for content and the thirst for Baldwin are ... exceedingly common afflictions in this fandom, shall we say? 😁 And I absolutely get it. Baldwin is an awesome character and a possibly even more awesome historical figure: wise, kind, brave, determined, and very, very clever. Sadly not my type, romantically speaking, but awesome nonetheless. Who doesn't love Baldwin?

Alas, in terms of Baldwin IV x Reader fics, I cannot help you. I'm sure there are some lovely ones out there somewhere, but since I neither read nor write reader inserts, I can't think of anything to recommend you. But if anybody has any suggestions, please don't be shy to share them!

#asks #it is one of the cruel ironies of life that I - as the person running this blog - am also the only one not primarily here for baldwin #whoops #i'm trying my best though i promise #i know the vast majority of you sweet people are here for him #so baldwin content you shall get #just spare some love for the other characters as well #kingdom of heaven 2005 #kingdom of heaven fanfic #baldwin iv #and my non-existent fic recs #sorry

[serenedash]

so I wasn't expecting my khux gameplay post to blow up this much because normally I just shout my khux thoughts into the void and that's that, but it's been really amazing and heartwarming seeing everyone's personal experiences with khux, like I can't say enough how much I LOVE looking at everyone's additions and tags :)

I had tried writing a long post about some khux feelings but it just wasn't coming out right. this post isn't about the game this is about me sorry tl;dr I'm a very anxious person and I love to see other people just as excited about khux as I am because I feel better about how much I like it. which is A Lot

#sorry for being vulnerable it won't happen again /lh #the real tl;dr is that I feel very dumb and stupid and anxious all the time constantly for being obsessed with khux #but again everyone's responses made me feel so much better #like yes its a major source of joy for me but I get so anxious #and I dont really talk to people at all bc of it like discord servers are a special hell but I try anyway #and majority of my khux friends drifted away from it forever ago so I feel kind of really alone by myself #I just love other people's posts and content so much I feel so stupid in comparison- I look up to so many people in the community #making memes is such a great joy for me but I yearn for more yknow. I can be a serious artist past all my clown behavior I promise #I mean all my fics are very serious and angsty but no one reads my writing Im not too confident on regularly posting it so its fine really #I'm just in my own echo chamber on here and I always assume everyone hates me or is at least annoyed by me #like people don't really comment on things I make or send me asks or message me #so not getting feedback except a decent number of notes on my posts is like. not the best #im not guilt tripping people into interacting with me really its fine I swear Im just having my own issues #really dont feel you have to because also Im really bad at conversations fr #my personal tag is 'im rambling' for a reason #but anyway this is my house and if people don't like it they can leave #at the end of the day I love to just create for my own enjoyment #and if people like it too then that's great!!!!! #but I'm also still very anxious all the time

[higherhell]

The hats I ordered that said they were out for delivery a month ago and then never showed up and I thought had been consumed by the void mysteriously reappeared at the post office and I was able to pick them up today we're so back

#trying to find out what to do before they magically reappeared has been among the more miserable postal experiences I've had ngl #real 'I was already agonizing over this purchase please don't tell me I'm not getting the items or the money back' situation #but they're here now so. I can relax. one less guilt on the brain #not been in the best shape these days #and I had the audacity to joke when I ordered them that I was clinging to the promise of them arriving like a life raft. so like. #when those suckers went off the radar. imagine the look on my face #anyway. maybe this is a good sign. gonna dress up and take pics and maybe post some later if I'm feeling courageous #and maybe try to catch up around here #personal pulse