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#i'm trying to hype myself up to work on fic but i'm just...not having the writing juice...haven't had the juice for the past few days...
keylovesstuff · 8 months
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Lost and Found
Mario fandom, may I humbly offer my first contribution lol. A Peach fanfic cause I can't get my mind off this gal. A little idea that's been crawling in my brain for a while, and I finally sat myself down in front of a word doc to just write it up. So, takes place in the movie-verse until the point in the flashback where baby peach encounters the toads and just a tad bit after that.
The small blonde walked through the now abandoned town in search of just anyone at this point. Stores that were once filled with shoppers looking to purchase a variety of different things while workers assisted were now empty. The playground where she'd play and laugh with girls and boys of all ages was now filled with silence. Home, where she had awoken from a nap alone for the first time ever, was missing her mom and dad. The door was left wide open as she scrambled off the couch making a grab for her purple blanket and tying around her neck. With pink shoes now on the best way her parents showed her how to and pacifier in hand she was out the house. What started out as a fun game of hide and seek in the young child's mind, began to grow into worry as the sky went from a beautiful light blue to a bright orange.
"Mommy? Daddy? Hello" The child once again called out, peering around yet another aisle inside yet another building. The three-year old made sure that no area was left unsearched even if that meant stacking items on top of each other to reach door handles. For the tenth time in her mind, she was met with no response.
Small blue eyes began to fill up with tears as she felt her heart break in two. Sniffling, she Reached up to her cheeks to wipe away the wetness and reached inside her skirt pocket for her pacifier. It wasn't much but it did bring her some comfort as it always would. Vaguely she could hear her father telling her mother how she was getting too old for it and should have been weaned off of it ages ago. A small smile would appear on her mother's face while she cooked up a meal in the kitchen laughing as she would always promise to start the process next week only to not follow through. With another failed search in locating anyone, the girl left the store feeling exhausted mentally and physically. Little legs aching for a break after walking for what seemed like forever she finally gave in, sitting on the ground and leaning against the brick wall of the store. 
Taking the blanket from around her neck she covered her body and closed her eyes. The child's mind finally embraced the negative thoughts that started to itch at her brain after the fifth place she looked. 
No, there will be no one at the next place you go.
No matter how loud you call out, no one will answer back.
Yes you are alone and will never see anyone again.
With the last of her hope dissolving, she succumbed to sleep and let the last of her tears fall.
The cold breeze awoke her from her slumber this time, having shifted from her original sitting to lying on her side sometime in her sleep causing the blanket to slide off. Shivering slightly she wrapped the blanket as tightly around her as she could to feel warm.  Wiping the sleep from her eyes, she realized that the sky was now a dark blue and the only light came from the moon and the many of the stars in the sky.  A memory of sitting in her dads lap with her mom on his side pointing out the stars on a grassy field to them flashed before her eyes.  They began to fill up with salty water after removing her sight from the sky to look across the street when something strange caught her eye. Floating and staring was a pink pudgy starry figure that she only ever saw in the picture books her parents read to her during bedtime.  Sitting up she stared right back into the creature's black eyes as she tried to recall the name the stories gave it.
"A Duma?" She took her pacifier out and voiced aloud as its name finally came to mind. It made a sound in a language that probably no one would understand. The Luma beckoned with its entire body to follow and started off down the street. Puzzled for a moment to process things she shook her head standing up and frantically cried out "Wait, please don't go" she grabbed her blanket once again placed it around her neck and pocketed her pacifier before taking off in the direction it went.
The Luma led her to the forest that every adult, be it their families or not in the town warned every child that could walk not to enter. As it went ahead, the little girl came to a complete stop where the town ended and the forest started hesitating to cross. Sensing that she was no longer following, the Luma also came to a stop and turned to face her, repeating the beckoning gesture from before.
"Duma, I'm not supposed to go in there." She explained with a soft voice pointing a finger at the forest  that is full of unknown secrets.  "I'll get in trouble if someone sees me-"  that last word barely escaped her mouth before she promptly closed it, bringing her previous hand to cover her mouth.
The thoughts from earlier crept back into her mind, repeating the phrases she tried hard to ignore throughout the day. This time though a new thought came to her mind. What if everyone went into the forest and was just waiting for her to join them?  A new hope filled up in her chest and she looked at the Luma with a newfound determination and courage.
"Ok I'll follow you, but you gotta promise that there's anyone there" She told the creature and it responded with the same unknown sound. 
"Alright let's go then" she let out a small giggle before looking at her feet one by one as they crossed into the beginning of the forest. The girl turned to take in one final look at the empty and stared for a moment before following the Luma further in.
The two figures ventured in silence for a little while longer. The blonde child only stopped every few feet to glance around and up ahead for any sign of a familiar figure. The Luma came to a stop first and the girl bumped into its body several seconds after being distracted. 
"Hey why did we-" she started to ask but could not continue the rest of her question as she took in her new surroundings. The luma had led them to an area with a stony ground surrounded by huge pillars. What had caught her eye the most was the green object built in between the two pillars as it glowed a white light in the middle. "Wow" was the only word she could bring herself to voice.
The girl suddenly had a feeling that whatever was inside the pipe was calling to her as she started to walk forward only to be stopped by the Luma placing its body against her to keep her in place. The Luma floated lower to the ground and it took the child a few moments to figure that it must have wanted her to sit down. Sitting on the ground she crossed her legs and placed her hands in between them facing the green object. With more than decent patience for a child her age, she started squirming in place the longer they sat there the more she wanted to just get up and go into the mysterious object. From fiddling with the blanket around her body to messing with the object in her pocket to tapping her fingers against her legs, all of that could only distract her but so much from not focusing on the light. What if everyone was waiting for her on the other side and she was holding them up by waiting here? As soon as that thought entered her mind she got up and tried to make a dash as quick as her little legs could go.
All she could process was the sound of the Luma making a noise behind her and bumping into something the next moment before landing on her bottom. Rubbing her head she looked up to what had caused her to fall and what she saw took her by complete surprise left her speechless.A light blonde haired women with a bang covering one eye wearing a crown in a beautiful blue dress was levitating slightly above the ground and holding a star wand appeared in front of her with a smile. While she never knew everyone in the town, she was certain she would remember a person that could float.  The question 'who are you' was on the tip of her tongue but she couldn't bring herself to voice it aloud, It didn’t take much longer for the women above her to speak.
“Hello there little one, It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She kindly greeted the child who still stared at with a confused expression in her eyes and mouth agape in question.
 “You have gone through so much in such a short amount of time. Allow me to heal your mind.” With that said, she lowered the wand to the child's head. It began to glow as all the negative thoughts and memories left.
On one hand it felt as though nothing could hold the child back from embracing any and everything that would come her way. On the other hand it felt as though two important people disappeared and she couldn’t recall who they were or if they ever existed in the first place. The woman removed her wand when she was satisfied with her magic. The girl continued to look on with wide eyes.
“You are going to do so many amazing things and inspire so many in your future.” The woman started to say to the child who looked on with wonder filled eyes.
 “You will meet allies and foes alike. There will be many challenges you’ll have to face but you will get through them with your bravery. I have already seen it.” She assured and moved to the side to reveal the glowing green object once more.
“Go on in, They are waiting for you on the other side. Guide and Protect them. Show them what a respectable and kind leader you can be. Our paths will cross again one day” With that final promise the woman started to vanish before the girl's eyes.
When the figure faded away completely she was once again alone and had so many questions. What did all of it mean? Was everything the women said was true? Who will she meet on the other side? That last question would be answered sooner rather than later as she could finally enter the thing that was pulling her in. While she was mostly ready to take that step, there was a small part of her that was fearful of the unknown. Reaching in her pocket once more she grabbed her pacifier and put it in her mouth to feel that comfort, before taking in a small breath and stepping in. Finding herself flowing aimlessly through this portal, she took in the colors some of which she had never seen before. Despite floating in midair she felt calm and just let the current take her to its predetermined destination. Up ahead she saw another round green object similar to the one in the stoned area, The current around her started to slow down in preparation to enter the pipe again. 
The girl was finally able to stand up and walk on her own two feet the rest of the way. Clutching her hands she took in the environment around her as the exit came closer she placed her hand on the green object to hold her balance as she took a step down. Taking this time to look in front of her she noticed that these rainbowed people dressed in identical clothing and were slightly taller than herself but they had this warm and inviting presence about them that made approaching them much easier so she did. The creatures also approached her but with slightly more caution in their step following the green person who was leading the other two bent down in front of her with a smile. The woman's words of being ‘a kind person’  ringed in the back of her mind. So she did what she thought was the nicest thing and took out her cherished pacifier and stuck it in the creature's mouth who looked on in confusion. Giggling she jumped up wrapping her arms around its shoulders immediately feeling safe and secure as this person also embraced her holding her up.
“Told you that you had a way with kids” came a teasing voice from behind. “Ow what I say?” the yellow person rubbed its arm and stared offendedly at the other person that whacked him moments prior.
“Now’s not the time for jokes, you dummy this is serious.” the red one scolded the other. “Some strange person just came out of the pipe after it's been glowing all day. It could be here to kill us.” It tried to get the other to understand their point of view. “You better take that thing out of your mouth TG, it could be poisonous” he suggested to the green guy. The yellow one scoffed out a ‘really dude c’mon’ under its breath.
“Mmm” TG mouthed before shifting the child's body weight onto one side of its body removing the pacifier and sticking it back into her mouth. “Well it does just seem like an innocent baby, but better safe than sorry. Let’s head to Toadsworth. He could probably tell us what you are. Yes he can” he gave the blonde's belly a tickle drawing out that giggle from earlier. 
“No, don't make friends with it, we aren't sure of its motives yet” The red one tried again with no avail as it began to lead the way back to the others with the other two trailing behind. 
“I like the moon, it's pretty” was the first sentence the child said out loud as she pointed at the object in the sky as they all hiked back.
“Wow you do?” TG engaged with her as she nodded eagerly. “I do too, it's very pretty on nights like these” he agreed with her. Several minutes of this went on where she pointed out things she likes and he would talk with her. At one point even the yellow guy hopped into the conversation much to the annoyance of the red person.
“Hey, what are you?” she asked tapping TG’s shoulder to get his attention.
“What am I? Oh well I’m what's called a Toad. Can you say that? Toad” he mouthed it out loud to her slowly and they both repeated it several times.
“I like Toad, they're nice,” she said, nuzzling her face closer into TGs neck and wrapping her arms around him tighter. Before he could return the compliment the red toad spoke up.
“We’re here guys, let's go.” He knocked on the door three times before a brown spotted Toad with a brown mustache and red bowtie appeared in the doorway. “Something finally came out the pipe that we’ve been keeping an eye on all day. It appears to be a baby of some kind” he added as the three of them were ushered inside.
Toadsworth offered them tea as they all began to gather around the small table. The child continued clutching onto the green toad and only glanced every now and again at the mustached gentleman. The four of them conversed over tea gathering new information from the elder Toad. They first found out its gender which was revealed to them as a female and that she belonged to one of the species called humans, though with there being many galaxies and regions they could reside in, the probability in pinpointing the exact place of origin she was from would be a challenge even a guy as smart as him couldn’t figure out. They also came to the conclusion that based on how she interacted with the environment that she was on par with the toad children starting school. The red toad finally stopped giving the child a look of suspicion and after the third round of tea the host directed the conversation towards the blonde girl reaching for the kettle in the middle of the table.
“Oh how rude of me. Please accept my sincerest apologies my dear.” Toadsworth quickly got out of his seat heading over to the cabinet to grab another cup. “A gentleman must always offer a lady a drink.” He started to pour her a cup of tea before the green toad interrupted 
“I think she might be a little too young for tea or anything with caffeine for that matter, Toadsworth sir.” he said, motioning his head to the child who now had her own seat.
“You are quite right, The youth these days mustn't get used to relying on stuff like this.” Toadsworth chuckled and went over to the fridge to see what refreshments he had in there. “Oh yes I just received a carton of milk from the meadows this morning. Would you like that m’lady?” In response he got an excited round of applause from the child. 
Toadsworth offered to take care of the child for the remainder of the night and start some research in the morning for which planet she could be from and if needed within the next couple of days or weeks put together a group of toads to get this kid back home to her parents. He prepared her for bed first and then went through his nighttime routine which included grabbing a snack for bed, tonight being a fresh bowl of sliced peaches. The girl sat on the bed flipping through a picture book he gave her.
“Well my dear I’m terribly sorry for just now realizing this” He apologized, placing the bowl on the nightstand next to the bed she looked up from the book first to the food and then to him. “My fellow comrades or I failed to ask you your name. So what are you called?” he asked and she stared at him for a few moments before she opened her mouth.
“I want the Peach” she pointed to the bowl that was on the nightstand behind him causing him to reach for the bowl and present it in front of her, smiling when she reached out and grabbed a couple slices.
“Ok now back to important matters.” he cleared his throat into his fist. “What would you like us to call you for the time that you reside with us?” He tried again to get her to focus on what he was asking.
“I like Peach” She said with a smile after finishing the last bite flashing him a toothy smile and he stared at her thoughtfully for a moment.
“Alright I shall call you Lady Peach when you’re in my presence and make sure everyone calls you that as well” He told her and assumed she’d probably have a different answer to the question by tomorrow or the next couple of days.
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AITA for not having time to read my mutual's writing?
Met a mutual on here, bonded through fanfic, have been tight with them for a few years with pretty much no bumps in the relationship, just overall had a really good time hanging around them when I could. We both write a lot and share our writing, and occasionally we talk about that writing/workshop it in passing.
In the past few years I've gone through a ton of life changes. Most notably I went from a multi-person household to a single-person one, and I've been living alone in a prohibitively costly city for a while now working 40 hour weeks and barely scraping by. As soon as the transition started I spent the last of my free income on a shitty little laptop so I could still write, putting down words on my bus/train commutes in the morning and quite literally writing on my breaks at work because I feel insane when I can't create. I bring this up to really stress that I don't have the time for the hobby, I force myself to make the time and even then it never feels like enough.
The only thing I can really stand to do with my 3 hours of free time at night is hang out with my moots online. I'm an extrovert so being around people recharges me. If I don't have designated social time I get super depressed and can pretty much feel my soul withering away. I also feel like I should probably mention that I kinda have a slew of mental issues, personality disorders and PTSD and AuDHD and the works. Point being, shit is rough my dude, but I am a person who likes to work hard and face challenges head on and even though we strugglin, we doing it with a positive outlook.
But! I am an incredibly solution-oriented person and I have found what I personally believe to be a good balance. No one should have to live like this, but I do, and I have found a way to be happy. My writing and my social time is all load-bearing. It is not something I just choose to do on a whim, it's all planned and scheduled and I adhere to those routines very strictly because, I cannot stress this enough, I will go fucking bonkers if I don't.
I'm mutuals with a lot of writers obv, and I sadly don't have time to read their work anymore, unless I get some extra time on my days off or something gets cancelled or like, I end up taking a vacation. I carry a great amount of guilt for this, though, even though I logically know it's reasonable. I try to support them where I can, cheer them on when I see them writing and tell them how cool their ideas sound, hype them up even when I can't actually read & review.
One of the things I do is sometimes I leave a kudos on fic I haven't read. I'm not trying to be ingenuine, and if they asked me I'd tell them like 'Oh I didn't read it yet, just wanted to show support!' but to me it's kinda like ripping a paper tab off a poster so that other's feel inclined to do the same. Plus my pals get a little email and a hit of serotonin.
Except one of my acquaintances, the one I mentioned at the start here, saw that I left kudos on a couple pieces another mutual of mine wrote this year. They more or less blew up my DMs with a ton of accusatory (like, literally presented like a 'GOTCHA!') stuff about how I was selective in who's fic I read, more or less implying that I secretly held some sort of grudge or negative feeling toward them and was making the conscious decision not to read or interact with their writing because of. Something, I don't actually know what they were trying to say. They also told me they vented to their friends about this MULTIPLE times, but they never once approached me to let me know they were feeling paranoid or neglected, they literally just took the most bad faith reading of it possible and then presented that to me like it was something I intentionally did, while the whole time I was unaware.
I tried to explain to them the kudos thing, that I didn't do it to every story, just ones I caught/noticed in my busy schedule. And I laid all this out and asked, multiple times, what free time am I supposed to read with? They didn't answer, and doubled down, kept trying to show me 'proof' that I was shorting them and no one else. Once they started to realize how wrong they were they backed down, but they didn't really apologize, or admit they were wrong, and they tried to end our relationship and left every single server we were in together. Because of some other unrelated stuff going on in my life, I didn't really consider them to be a close friend, but they were someone I really held dear and would've walked through hell for if they'd asked.
I still feel like there is something I'm missing here, and that's why I wanted to ask if I'm TA. I'm a pretty good communicator but one of the things I told myself when talking down my disordered thoughts (guilt about this prior) was "no one in their right mind would use reading fanfic as a metric for friendship." Now that I've had that exact thing happen, I'm starting to think maybe those thoughts weren't so disordered. Maybe this IS a big deal, and I should think about it more, but I don't even know what the solution to that would be. I just. Don't have time to read something lovingly crafted and appreciate it for what it is. All the hours in my week are used up, I'd have to lose sleep for this and with my mental health the way it is that is not an option.
Feel free to be a brutal, my skin is thick. Thanks!
What are these acronyms?
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vanfleeter · 11 months
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Look At Me // JTK
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Pairings: Jake x reader Warnings: Smut (minors, please stay away), swearing, a little bit of fluff, unprotected sex, fingering, oral sex, boudoir photography, (let me know if I missed anything). Author's Note: I saw someone wondering about photographer!jake so I thought I'd try to write one myself. I'm still learning how to smut so bare with me. 1923 may have inspired the ending of this fic sooo I might continue this.. Summary: When you accompany your friend to a photoshoot, you capture Jake's attention and he becomes enamored of you.
Sliding out of the car and closing the door behind you, you look over at your friend, Kylie, who simply smiles at you. She convinced you to come with her to a photoshoot she booked for her business. She’s always been nervous being in front of the camera so of course, like the good friend you are, you went with her to be her hype person.
“You finally get to meet Jake.” She beams. “He’s an amazing photographer.”
Jacob Kiszka. Owner of Black Smoke Photography. He’s most prevalent in outdoor photography, but he offered to shoot her business photos indoors in a studio loft that he owns in the city of Nashville.
Stepping into the studio, you’re in awe of how bright it is with the natural light coming in through the warehouse windows. The total opposite of the usual photos that he takes. For the majority of his photos, they’re dark and moody so finding the studio space full of light and warmth is a complete one-eighty degree turn.
Upon hearing your entrance to the studio, Jake peers over the ledge of the balcony that hangs above the door. His hands grip the railing, the rings on his fingers clinking against the metal. He smiles. “Hey Ky.” He says. “Give me just a couple minutes and I’ll be down.”
“Sure thing Jake!”
Coming down a spiral staircase, Jake stands before the two of you dressed in a white, linen button down shirt with only a few bottom buttons holding it closed at the bottom of his abdomen and a pair of khaki pants cropped at his ankles. Cognac colored loafers adorn his feet. His many rings decorate his fingers while a couple necklaces hang around his neck. His hair hangs down in loose waves stopping at his shoulders.
A bright smile spreads across his face as he moves across the room to you two. “Good to see you again Ky.” He says as they embrace in a hug.
“You too, Jake.” She says. “I want to introduce you to my friend, (Y/N).” She adds when they pull apart. “(Y/N), this is Jake.”
“Pleasure to meet you.” He says, extending a hand. The skin of his hand feels rough yet warm against yours and he has a firm but delicate grip.
“You as well,” You say. “I’ve checked out your work. It’s all really good.”
He smiles and retreats his hand. “Thank you.”
“I love how bright it is here.” Kylie says as she looks around the studio. “So different from your normal style.”
“I took a look at the theme, or aesthetic, of your business and it looks very bright and airy so I thought keeping with the theme would make it easier and more comfortable for you.” Jake explains as he follows her through the studio space.
You follow a short distance behind him. You couldn’t help but watch how his biceps flex underneath the fabric of his shirt sleeves. Kylie catches you staring and you immediately look away feeling the slight warmth of your cheeks as you blush. She shoots you a smirk.
“Shall we get started then?” She says as she sets her things down by the table that’s littered with Jake’s equipment.
Jake nods his head and makes his way to the table. He picks up one of the many camera bodies and attaches a lens to it. He turns back towards Kylie and directs her on the stool. “Don’t fully sit on the stool, kind of lean against it with your legs crossed at your ankles.”
“Like this?” Kylie says as she follows his directions.
“Perfect.” Jake says as he snaps a few candid shots as she positions herself against the stool. “Now cross your arms over your chest and give your best serious face.”
During shots and new poses, you’d make silly faces behind Jake to keep Kylie comfortable and confident and bring her out of her shell. When it comes down to the serious poses, you stayed over by the monitor that showed the shots Jake was taking. Each one popped up on the screen until one of you came up. A side profile shot of you as you look at the monitor. Looking over at Jake, you catch him shooting you a smile before he turns back to Kylie. You feel a slight blush on your cheeks again as you turn back to look at the monitor.
After a few more shots, Jake lowers his camera. “How about we take a break?” He says.
“Good, I’m starving anyways.” Kylie says making Jake scoff.
“When are you not?” He says.
Kylie retrieves her purse. “I’m gonna go out and get food. Do you want anything?” Both you and Jake shake your heads. “Okay, I’ll be back.”
“Do you want me to come along?” You ask.
Kylie shakes her head. She glances over at Jake who has gone back to messing with his camera and not paying attention to the two of you. She wags her eyebrows at you. You roll your eyes making her snicker. She pulls out her car keys and heads for the exit leaving you alone with Jake in the studio.
As Jake continues to mess with his camera, adjusting the settings and cleaning off the lens, you walk over to the window and peer outside at the cityscape of Nashville. The sun is beginning to set, casting a golden glow on everything it touches. Including you. Jake takes notice of you by the window. The golden hue basking warmly on your face and brightening your eyes. He lifts his camera up to his face and points it at you. He snaps a few shots capturing you in your own little world.
He clicks his tongue like he’s calling a cat. You turn your head with your brows furrowed and he quickly snaps a few more photos.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting some candids.” He says.
“I am not your client today.” You say folding your arms over your chest. “I’m only here as moral support for Kylie.”
Jake shrugs his shoulders. “Free session on the house.” He shoots you a wink and lowers his camera. You lower your head as you smile and bite down on your bottom lip. “You’re a natural.”
You roll your eyes and look back out of the window. “No, I’m not.”
“I wouldn’t argue with someone who owns a camera and has an eye for this stuff.” He says.
“Oh, cocky much?” You say folding your arms over your chest. “Kylie never mentioned you having such a big ego.”
Jake scoffs. “I do not have a big ego.” He says. “An ego, sure. A big one? Not by a long shot. I just have an eye for seeing naturals.” He walks over to you and reaches his hand out to your face to tuck a strand behind his ear. “And I have an eye for finding beautiful girls.”
You giggle and shake your head. “Big ego and a flirt.” You say. “Do you do this with all of your clients?”
“Oh so you’re my client now?” He inquires. “I thought you were only Kylie’s moral support?”
“I am not your client.” You say as you lean against the window.
“So it wouldn’t be wrong to kiss you since you’re not my client?” He says stepping up in front of you. “I may have been taking photos of Kylie but I’ve been looking at you most of the time.” He swipes his thumb across your bottom lip. “This past hour has been pure torture not knowing how soft these lips must feel.” He lifts his eyes to yours. “Is it okay if I kiss you?”
You look between both of his eyes. Now that you’ve really looked into them you can see that they’re a russet shade of brown. They’re gentle when looking at you. And if eyes could smile, his sure are.
You simply nod your head. Gently he caresses your face in the palm of his hand as he leans down to kiss you. Feeling his lips press to yours you could feel the butterflies erupt inside your stomach. Slowly he pulls away. You open your eyes to find him staring at you. A smile spreads across his face.
“I was right. They are soft.” He says.
A soft giggle escapes you making him chuckle. Stepping away from you he sets his camera on the table. He reaches for your hand and pulls it up to his lips where he presses a soft kiss upon your skin. He smiles when he sees the goosebumps rise along your hand and up your forearm.
Softly and slowly he leaves a trail of kisses up your arm before stopping at your shoulder. He glances up at you with his eyes asking for permission to continue. You simply nod your head and he presses his lips to your neck and trails up to the back of your head. A light gasp slips out and he smiles against the side of your head.
He pulls away slightly and moves back to your lips to kiss you. He drops your hand and moves his hand to cup the back of your neck. He leans in between your legs and presses against you. You can feel how hard he is already. The feeling ignites a spark within your core and the heat builds.
“Is this okay?” He asks as he slips his hand underneath the cotton fabric of your shirt. No words came from your mouth so you nod your head once again. “Uh uh,” He hums. “I need words.” He says stopping the movements of his hands.
“Y… Yes..” You force out. Your own hands cling to the waistband of his pants pulling him as close as you possibly can.
He grabs the ends of your shirt and pulls it off and over your head and drops it to the floor by your feet. You grab his shirt and unbutton the last few buttons of his shirt and slide it off his shoulders and down his arms. He shakes it off his wrists and lets it fall to the floor. He goes to reach for you but pauses.
You raise your eyebrows. “Are you okay?” You ask.
He folds his arms across his chest as he looks you up and down. He rubs his chin as he thinks.
“What’s on your mind, photo boy?” You say.
His eyebrows raise and he looks at you. “Photo boy?”
“I’ll think of something else eventually.”
Jake smiles before turning in his feet and walking over to the table full of his equipment. “Have you ever done boudoir before?”
You shake your head. “I’m hardly ever in front of the camera to begin with.”
“Do you know what it is?”
“Basically sexy photos.”
Jake nods his shoulders. “Pretty much.” He says as he grabs a film camera. “Would you be comfortable doing it?”
“Well.. I..”
“You don’t have to,” Jake says, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s just a fun, little idea.”
“I could try it..” You say. “But Kylie..”
“Knowing Kylie she probably went to some sit down restaurant, ordered herself a nice big juicy steak and some wine. She does it all the time.” Jake says as he walks back over to you. “Though abandoning her friend with someone she’s hardly met is not like her.”
“Ehh,” You shrug your shoulders. “It’s not the first time.”
Jake laughs. “Well I guess we know different versions of Kylie then..” You crack a smile. “So..” He adjusted the dials on the camera. “Shall we?”
“I don’t really know what I’m doing.” You say as you push off the window.
“Don’t worry, I’ll guide you.”
Jake brings you over to the other side of the room where a couch rests against one wall and a coffee table sits in front of it.
“Lay down on the couch on your back and just relax.”
“Okay..”
As you walk over to the couch and begin to lay down, he stops you. “Wait..” He sets the camera down on the table and approaches you. “If you’re gonna keep your jeans on, we’re gonna make it look sexy–er.”
You giggle at his save. He unbuttons your jeans and pulls them slightly down just enough that they’re still on your hips but showing a little of your underwear. Black lace is what you chose for today. It even matches your bra.
“Well..” Jake clears his throat. He backs away and retrieves his camera. “Now lay down and relax.” You do as you’re told and you lay down on the couch. You shift around a little to make yourself comfortable amongst the red velvety cushions. “Comfortable?” He asks. You nod your head. “Good. Take your arms and kind of drape them over your head. Think of Rose from Titanic.”
You hum in understanding. “Jake, I want you to draw me like one of your French girls…” You recite the line and change out Jack for Jake. “But you know.. Photographing me..”
Jake smiles as he lifts the camera up to his eyes. “French girls don’t compare to you, love.” He says as he presses his index finger down on the button, snapping a photo. “I take it you like Titanic?”
“I love it.” You say, not daring to move just yet. “What do you think of it?”
“It’s okay..” Jake shrugs his shoulders. “Don’t move..”
He climbs onto the couch, straddling your waist. “Lift your chin so you look just slightly behind you.” You follow his direction. “Just like that, perfect.” He snaps another photo.
You can still feel how hard he is when he applies slight pressure to your waist as he continues to straddle your body. He finally climbs off of you and moves away from the couch.
“Feel comfortable enough to take your pants off?” He asks.
You nod your head and slip them off. His jaw nearly falls to the ground when he sees just how wet you’ve become.
“Fuck..” He gasps. He lowers the camera. “I’m so screwed..”
You giggle. “It’s your fault.”
“I uh, I–well..” He clears his throat and shakes his head. “Okay umm.. Uh..”
“Do you want to continue?” You ask, propping yourself up on your elbows.
Jake opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out before he closes it. He picks up the camera again and holds it up to his face. The pose you were in with your legs crossed in front of you while your elbows held you up nearly made him want to put the camera down and fuck you right there.
“Lay your head back..” He says. You do and he snaps another photo. “Take your bra off.” He says, sounding more demanding. “I-If you want to.” He quickly adds.
You could tell you were making him nervous all while turning him on. Not once did you anticipate this ever happening. You barely knew the guy and yet you were nearly naked on a couch inside of his studio while he took photos of you all while hard as a rock inside of his pants. This man wants to fuck you. He’s just bursting at the seams.
Obliging to his order you unclasp your bra and toss it to the floor.
“Good,” He says. “Now lay on your stomach, one arm hanging off the couch.” You follow his instructions. “Look at me. Perfect.” He bends his knees to come down to a better angle and snaps the photo.
Setting the camera on the table, he kneels in front of the couch. “You’re so beautiful.” He tilts your head back to kiss you. “Turn back over.”
You do as he says and roll back over onto your backside. His tongue flicks out between his lips. He cups his left hand around your right breast as he leans down to suck on your left breast. Goosebumps once again cover your skin. A moan falls from your mouth as your head falls against the cushion of the couch.
You slide your hand off the couch and to his body. Slipping your hand underneath the hem of his linen pants you palm his cock eliciting a groan from him. He pulls his lips off of your nipple and looks up at you.
He pulls your hand out his pants and holds it up above your head. “No.. It’s all about you sweetheart.” He says.
“Jakey..” You whimper.
“Jakey?” He says. “No one’s ever called me that before.”
You sit up and grab his face in your hands. “Stop talking and fuck me.”
Almost immediately he pulls you off the couch and swings you onto his waist. He carries her upstairs to the loft.
“I wasn’t expecting this to be up here.” You say as he lays you onto a bed.
“There’s a lot you won’t be expecting.”
He grabs your jeans and pulls them the rest of the way down your legs and tosses them to the floor. “Black really compliments you.” He says before discarding his own pants. He licks his lips as he stares at your underwear. It’s already soaked with your juices. Nudging your legs further apart, he reaches over to grab the fabric of your underwear and drags them down your hips and your legs. He presses the fabric to his nose and inhales.
“Smells good?” You ask.
He nods his head. “Mmhmm.” He hums, making you laugh. He tosses your underwear to the floor and leans over top of you.
“You’re such a pretty girl.” He says as he moves down to kiss you. “My pretty girl.”
“What am I?” You say. “A dog?”
He laughs into the crook of your neck. “I’m nervous.”
“You’re nervous?”
He lifts his head. “No one has ever made me feel the way you make you feel right now.”
You giggle and tangle your fingers in his hair. “Just relax.” You tell him. “And breathe. Do what your body tells you to do.” You brush his hair out of his face and tuck it behind his ear. “What is your body telling you?”
“I want to touch you..”
You guide your hand down his arm and to his hand that rests on your hip. “Then touch me.” You move his hand from your hip and rests it in between your legs. You feel him ghost his fingertips along your center before using his thumb to rub circles into your clit.
“Does that feel good?” He asks.
You nod your head, your hand gripping tightly to his arm. He inserts his index and middle fingers inside of you. Your mouth falls open as a moan tumbles out.
“Oh…” You gasp.
“You like that?” He says as he slowly pumps them in and out.
“Y-Yes..” You stutter.
Just like he did earlier, he cups your breast with his other hand as he sucks on the other. His tongue laps around your nipple before sucking on it again. He never loses the rhythm of his fingers still pumping in and out of you.
“You’re so warm and slick against my fingers.” He says when pulling away from your breast. “But I want to feel you on my tongue.”
Moving further down the bed he removes his fingers from inside you. You whimper, missing the feel of his fingers. You watch him as he brings them to his mouth and licks them clean. His eyes roll and he groans.
Getting down on his stomach, he doesn’t waste any time as he brings his mouth down to your center. He drags his tongue in a slow lick against your folds.
“Fuck.. Jake..” He hears you moan.
He does it again and curves his tongue to dip in between your inner folds. Your hands fly to his hair and grip lightly to his loose waves. He inserts his fingers alongside his tongue. He’s pulling double duty and you love it. He knows you love it.
“Jake..” You moan. “Jake, I’m–”
He hums against you in response as he keeps working you closer to your climax. He curls his fingers inside of you. He feels your walls clench. “Cum for me..” He says before diving back in.
Slowly the fire in your core burned hotter and hotter. “There it is love.” He says. Like licking an ice cream cone he laps up all of your juices as they spill out from within you. Your thighs are clenched around his head, his free hand digging deeper into your outer thigh as he licks you clean and helps you ride out your orgasm.
Once you have relaxed, he leans back on the bed to admire you. Your chest rapidly rises and falls as you catch your breath. When you look into his eyes, they’re no longer the soft and gentle eyes you saw earlier. Now they’re darker, full of lust and hunger. He swipes the back of his hand across his mouth before climbing backwards off the bed.
“Don’t move..” He orders before running back down the spiral staircase. He comes back a minute later with a different digital camera. Resting it on the bed, he grabs hold of your leg and pulls you down the bed and laying your legs around his hips. He grabs the camera.
“Cup your breasts,” He says. “But turn your head to your left, keep your eyes focused straight ahead of you.”
Follow his direction. He watches your hands as they wrap around the soft lumps on your chest. With your head turned and your vision solely focused on a photo hanging on the wall, you can hear the click on the camera.
“Beautiful.” He sighs.
“No one will see these?” You ask.
He shakes his head. “Only for my eyes.” He says. He licks his lip and lowers the camera. “I want to try something.”
He climbs back off the bed and walks over to the other side of the room. He retrieves a tripod that rests against the railing of the loft and brings it over to the bed. Bringing it back over to the bed, he sets it up off to the side of the bed and connects the camera to it.
“What do you have in mind?” You ask turning over onto your side to watch him while he works to put his idea together.
“Something I’ve never done before.” He says. He adjusts the settings on the camera and looks through the eyepiece to make sure it looks exactly what he’s envisioned in his head. He straightens up and rests his hands on his hips. “Lay down on your back.” He says. You do as he says and he walks back over to the bed.
He climbs back onto the bed and nudges your legs apart with his fingers before slipping off his boxers..
“Are you filming a sex tape?”
Jake lets out a boisterous laugh and shakes his head. “No, not a sex tape.” He says. “Have you ever seen in movies how the angle of the camera captures two lovers in bed, the girl on the bottom, the guy on the top–classic sex pose?” You nod your head. “He has her one hip propped up on his waist, his hand resting on her thigh,” He explains as he moves you two into said position. “He’s leaning over her as she looks up at him. She’s got the look in her eyes of pure adoration, kind of like how you have it right now.”
“And you want that photo?”
“It would be a classic.” He says.
A smile cracks on your face. “Then let’s do it.”
“But I want to make it look natural.” He says. “I want us to be in the moment.”
You can feel his length rub against you. “Then what are you waiting for?” You say.
Readjusting himself, he guides his cock to your folds and slowly slides inside. Both of you moan in content as you relax into each other.
“You feel so much better wrapped around my cock.” He says. He slightly wiggles his hips before pulling out slightly and pushing back inside. He fits inside of you just perfectly. As if you two were made for each other. “This feel alright?” He asks.
“Yes.”
“Good.”
You can tell that he’s becoming more confident by his fluid movements. He has one hand holding up your leg on his waist and driving in deeper.
“Jake..” You moan. You link your arms underneath his and dig your fingers into the skin of his back. “Fuck..”
“You’re taking me so well..” He says. He lays an open palm on your lower abdomen. He can feel his cock inside of you which only turns him on more. “I fill you so nicely.”
“Mmmm..” You hum, your eyes fluttering closed. You feel him twitch inside of you, his hands fly to your sides and hold you tighter as he continues thrusting in and of you.
“Babe, I’m getting close.” He says.
Your eyes open to look up at him. His head is thrown back, his eyes screwed shut. “Babe?” You say.
His movements pause and he lowers his head. “What?”
“You called me ‘babe’?”
“Oh I-”
You smile. “I like it.”
A smile tugs at his lips. “Yeah?” He leans back down and kisses you. “You’re my babe?”
“Don’t jump too far ahead.” You say. “I said I liked being called ‘babe’.”
He chuckles as he begins moving again. “I like calling you that.” He says.
His thrusts were getting sloppy as he continued on. You can feel the burn again in your core.
“Jake..”
“Yeah baby, I know..”
Both of you hit your climax. You can feel him spill inside you. The warmth of his cum mixing with the warm feeling in your core only made you feel more good. Your back arches pushing your bodies closer together. You both ride it out together as he slows down his thrusting.
Being so distracted by your own orgasm, you were unaware of the camera snapping a photo. Jake’s face is buried in the crook of your neck as he sucks on your skin.
Once you both come down from your climax, he pulls out of you and lays out on the bed beside you. You roll over to lay over his chest. He wraps his arm around your body and pulls the covers over both of you.
“Can I take one more picture?” He asks, eliciting a giggle from you.
“You just can’t stop, can you?”
“You’re just so beautiful.” He says.
You go to sit up to let him get out of the bed but he pulls you back down and shakes his head. “I thought you-”
“With my eyes.” He says. “Where it’ll be permanently.”
You could hear sadness in his voice as he spoke. As if he’ll never see you again after today.
“Jake..” You sit back up. “Are you okay?”
He inhales. “I had fun today,” He says. “With everything, including this…”
“But..” You prompt him to continue going.
“I have to leave..” He says. “I have this opportunity to photograph wildlife in Africa and it’s a great opportunity.”
“Sounds like fun too.” You say smiling down at him. “Just don’t get eaten by lions.”
He scoffs, a smile spreading across his face.
“Why do I get the feeling you don’t want to go?” You say leaning on your elbow.
Jake inhales deeply before exhaling. “It’s going to sound crazy..”
“Nothing is too crazy. Tell me.”
“Being with you today, I don’t ever want to let you go.” He says. “Sex with you was great and it wasn’t rushed. I felt–connected to you.”
“Well all things considered..”
Jake chuckles. “Aside from that literal aspect, I mean..” He sighs. “I know we literally just met today but I felt..something. I want to be with you. I don’t want to leave you.”
You smile. “I’ll still be here when you get back. I ain’t going anywhere.”
Jake pushes himself up into a sitting position. “Come with me.” He says.
“C-Come with… Me?”
Jake nods his head. “There’s something about you. Something that I want to keep with me.”
“Jake, I… Africa is… I mean… You really want me to come with you?”
“If you don’t, I will…” A voice by the stairs comes.
Both you and Jake look over to see Kylie standing by the stairs. A smirk plays on her face as a blush creeps across yours.
“You two definitely had fun while I was gone.”
You hide your face in the crook of Jake’s neck making him laugh.
--
To Be Continued...
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tackytigerfic · 2 months
Note
im soo hyped for that wartime fic :O do you have any entire how long in terms of chapters it will be?
Hello Anon, thank you so much for being excited about this. It really is such a kind thing to tell me, esp after I've been writing this fic for so long and having absolutely zero perspective on it anymore.
I am hoping to post it in chapters, as I have never had a fic long enough to do that with before! And it might be my only chance. It's currently nearly 220k with a bit more to write (but not much more!) though I am going to try to cut it back as close to about 150k as I can get it. And then I'm going to try to divide it into about 15 chapters or so, and post a chapter every 2 days for a month. They will be big chunky boys, those chapters! I know a lot of people don't read WIPs and I don't mind if people don't follow along, but I have read along with a handful of WIPs myself and it was such fun that I thought I'd like to try it from the other side. I do also have a smut epilogue planned which I might have to post a bit later, depending on how quickly I get through the editing process.
Here's a little snip from the fic too, just while I'm here, and since it's still WIP Snip Sunday! In this scene, Harry and Draco are no longer friends, after Draco ran off to France. They have just been humiliated to learn (through drinking a charmed drink) that they share the same happiest memory, and it involves a day out they had in London together many years before.
"It’s obviously some sort of error in the charm, like you said.”
“Exactly.” Draco had the steel of conviction in his voice. “But even if it wasn’t… if that really was your happiest memory, I mean. Well, you know I’m not judging you.”
“Well, you’re not exactly in any position to judge me, are you?” Harry said nastily, hating himself a bit for it. “After all, it was your happiest memory too.”
They were quiet then, Harry weighing up Draco’s silence, judging it for what he knew it was; a confession.
“Well,” Draco said, and cleared his throat. “It really was excellent ice-cream.”
“Hermione says we all have some sort of trauma reaction from being at war for so long, and she thinks I’m latching onto anything that isn’t completely terrible in my past.”
“Oh, cheers,” Draco broke in. “Though I suppose not-completely-terrible is a fair assessment.”
Harry wanted to tell him that there was a time when he was pretty much the exact opposite of terrible—the counterpoint to all the shitty things Harry had to worry about, the thing that undercut all the misery and drudgery of the war Harry was locked into. But Harry couldn’t remember feeling the purity of those feelings anymore, not since they’d been all muddied up by Draco leaving, the awful gasping pain of the surprise abandonment, the sick relentless ache of the realisation that Draco really wasn’t coming back.
“I miss London,” he said instead. “Sometimes I even miss Grimmauld Place.”
“That’s another thing he’s ruined,” Draco said, shoving his sweating plastic bags of takeaway onto the small table. “London always felt so safe. It was so big, so anonymous. I could be anyone I wanted there. And now he’s everywhere, like a virus. How often do you get back there?”
“Hardly ever,” Harry said. “When I went to meet you, that was the first time in months. The Council thinks it’s too much of a risk, me going into his territory. His warding system isn’t as sophisticated as ours yet, of course, but he’s working with a lot of innate power there, and it’s concentrated stuff. If I fall into his hands, it would be all over for us.”
“Lots of magic per square foot in London,” Draco agreed. “I do worry about that. If he gets back to his full strength at any point, with all that magical energy behind him…”
“I know,” Harry said. “It’s one of the things that keeps me up at night, to be honest.”
“There are probably quite a few of those,” Draco said, lip curling not unkindly. “Do you— I mean, I always order too much…” He waved his hand at the bags of takeaway. Harry could see a curling bag of brown paper with the corner of a herb-dappled naan poking out, and he felt ravenous again, all of a sudden.
“Yeah, I could eat,” he said. “If you’re sure.”
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julienbakerpls · 9 months
Text
Happy Birthday Part 1
Julien Baker/Reader
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requests - "ok! i was thinking i’ve seen this concept before but like a fic where it’s like a tattoo/piercing shop au and julien works there and pierces reader’s nipples or does a tattoo for her and then asks her out afterwards? and maybe reader has lower pain tolerance and is nervous about it so julien comforts her?"
"need julien saying good girl…"
It was your birthday and you have been hyping yourself up for this for the last year and now you were really going to do it. You booked and prepaid the piercing parlor where you were going to get your nipples pierced. You'd wanted to do this forever but kept putting it off because of how scared you were, and also how much anxiety the thought of taking off your shirt in front of a stranger filled you with.
But it was officially your birthday, and you'd already told your best friend that you were doing this. And honestly she scared you enough that you now kinda had to go through with it.
Your appointment was at 12pm today and it was currently, you paused to check the clock in your car. 11:45am. Okay so it was now or never.
You slowly climbed out of your car, making your way to the shop door. The place had been advertised as a very queer friendly place and that was proven true when you walked in and saw all the pride flags hanging up.
You walked over to the woman behind the counter, she had short black hair, was wearing red lipstick and she was stunning.
"Hi, um I have an appointment at 12 for some piercings?" you asked, feeling anxious and overall too embarrassed to say that you were getting your nipples pierced. She smiled kindly at you and told you that the piercer would be with you in a few minutes.
You attempted to make yourself comfortable in the small lounge area, but failed miserably.
"Y/n?" a voice called, you looked up to see a woman covered in tattoos with big brown eyes smiling at you.
"Yeah, yes sorry." You answered walking over to her. You were surprised to be a few inches taller than her, considering you were usually considered short.
"Alright, if you'll follow me then." She spoke softly and turned around motioning for you to follow her. You took a deep breath before entering the small room after her.
"Okay so i'm just going to lock the door for your privacy, and we can get started. It looks like your getting both nipples pierced?" She asked, looking up from her paperwork.
"Um yes yeah." You stuttered still not fully over how attractive she was.
"Alrighty, oh and it says it's your birthday today, Happy birthday! I'm Julien, I realized I forgot to introduce myself earlier, sorry." She said, making her way over to you and smiling shyly. You felt your stomach swoop, at her big smile.
"Y/n, but you know that already." You spoke, face turning red. She laughed a little reaching back to tie her hair back into a bun. You weren't expecting the physical reaction your body had to that simple everyday action.
"Okay, so you can take off your shirt and bra whenever your ready.." Julien smiled, turning around to give you privacy, but then she seemed to think better about it and turning back around since she'd have to see you shirtless anyways.
You laughed at her actions, before pulling your shirt over your head and reaching behind you to unclasp your bra. You watched the blush creep up her neck and into her cheeks, as she tried to get control of her features.
"Okay, so i'm just going to mark on both sides where the needle is going to go through okay?" Julien said using a toothpick with ink on it to mark both sides of your nipples.
"I have to get your nipples hard for me to be able to pierce them, this is completely not sexual or anything." Her face still slightly pink, but over all completely serious. She helped you lay down on the bench, moving so she was leaning over you. She tugged on your left nipple, her face completely focused on her task. You had to close your eyes, and try to calm yourself down, chanting over and over in your head that this was her job and not sexual in any way.
"Okay, take a deep breath in and release it when I tell you to okay?" Julien asked, smiling down at you. You nodded and she signaled for you to take a deep breath in, you felt the needle against your nipple.
"Breathe out for me." Julien said, you did as instructed, and she pushed the needle through your left nipple.
"Good girl." She spoke softly, screwing the piercing closed.
"Mmmmm fuuuuck." You groaned out, tears filling your eyes.
"Hey hey you did so good for me." Julien soothed you.
"That hurt so much more than I thought it would." You said in almost a whine, your pain tolerance being almost nonexistent.
"Okay one more, deep breath in..... and out." She said in a quiet but firm voice, pushing the needle through.
"Ow fuuuck" You cried, the tears falling from your eyes. Julien quickly grabbed a tissue for you, whipping under your eyes.
"You did so good, and it's over now!" She smiled down at you, moving to get a cotton swab to dab the blood away.
"It's over?" You asked, feeling anxious that you'd never be able to think of another reason to see her again.
"Yeah, you're all set. Just some ground rules, clean them twice a day until they're healed enough to stop getting those little crusts around them. Oh and don't let anyone suck on them or anything for at least 2 months." Julien said, patting your thigh.
"Oh okay, um do I like need to come back for you to check on them at all?" You asked hopefully.
"Not unless you want to, or think you might have an infection." she said with her back to you disposing of the used needles.
"And if I just want to see you.... specifically?" You asked hesitantly, putting your shirt back on. You watched as Julien froze, it was subtle but enough for you to notice and feel like you crossed a line.
"Unless you don't want that... it's fine, uh thank you for the piercings." You called out, swinging the door open and quickly making your way to the front desk to pay. You saw another client go back as soon as you made it to the lobby, sighing and pulling out your card to pay.
"Okay so the total is 150 with the cleaning spray, if you have any questions or concerns feel free to call us." The woman at the front desk smiled, handing you your bag as her phone dinged. She stopped what she was doing to read the message.
"Oh and um there's this bar, that's like right down the street called The Red Door, it's a super chill place to just go and have a few drinks. They also have live music... you should check it out... specifically on Friday nights." She smiled at you, as you started to make your way out the door.
"Yeah sure, Thank you!" You called over your shoulder, you were so anxious you could almost ignore the throbbing coming from your chest. As you climbed in your car you noticed that you left your favorite bra on the table in there, deciding it was now gone forever you started the car and drove home.
-Okay so part two will be better but i wanted to do a little time skip specifically 2 months... so the end is kinda angsty but i don't think y'all are ready for how smuty the next part will be... 🫣
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navibluebees · 1 year
Note
Hi, absolutely love your writing and you are amazing. I was wonderful if you could write something with Lyle, maybe fic when he is lovely and super kind to others, especially reader all the time, but one day some dude is flirting with his human scientist s/o (she/her/) and he is jealous and he is very mean for this guy, but when they are back in his room he is super touchy and cuddle her so much which leads to nsfw scene? Sorry if it's stupid😩😭
Jealousy
Please read before interacting.
Thanks, babe! I may just do this as a oneshot, but I love this idea! & It's not stupid, silly goose~ Also minors, this is obviously going in a smutty direction, so please don't interact. Thanks!
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Lyle was waiting in the hallway, hyping himself up. Your relationship was still new, all things considered. He fidgeted with his hands, patting his pockets and postponing even longer. The interspecies relationship hadn't been fully explored yet and although he had been confident in his previous life, he was a bit nervous in the current one. Finally, he readied himself and turned the corner to walk into your lab.
He stopped in his tracks, boots squeaking a bit on the floor. You turned at the noise and your eyes widened behind the safety goggles you had on. One of your coworkers had his arms around you, trying to "help" adjust your microscope and while you were more than a bit miffed about it, Lyle looked as though he might smite the man. You tried to get up, pushing the safety goggles higher on your head and breaking the hold your coworker had around you. You shot him an annoyed look and went to Lyle who had a finger pointed steadily at the other man.
"Don't you lay hands on her again."
The other scientist held up his hands, a small smirk flitting across his face. "Hey, man, I was just helping out. No worries."
Lyle's face contorted into a snarl that flipped to surprise when he felt your hands shoving at his abdomen.
"Lyle get out of here. I'll see you later."
"But-"
"No. I will come see you later."
You whipped around to your work with not another word.
~~~
Lyle paced angrily in his room, tail lashing out and knocking things over. He growled in frustration, throwing his hands up before crouching down to set things back the way they were. His ears flicked to the door when he heard the code being punched in on the other side. He stood quickly and looked over your appearance. Your face was flushed and hair mussed up. His heart sank for a minute before he reminded himself to have a little faith in you.
You looked at him warily and stepped closer, melting against him when his arms came around you. He helped you take off your pants and swept you up in his arms, plopping down on the bed. You curled into his chest and he pulled a blanket across the both of you, keeping you warm.
"Lyle.."
"Hm?"
"We have to talk about what happened."
"I don't-"
"Lyle, please let me talk. You can not come in there like that. Ever."
"But he was all over you! He was flirting, that ass, I saw his face!"
"Lyle, I know."
"You, you what?" Lyle struggled to maintain his composure as he processed the information. "And you just let him??"
You angrily rubbed your hands across your face. "Lyle it's not that simple! They already don't take me seriously since I'm 'just a woman'! They-"
"Wait wait wait. Who's said that to you? I'll make sure they get sent straight back to Earth."
You gently caressed his arm, sensing the tremble along his skin.
"Lyle, honey, it isn't something you can do anything about. They already tease me about liking alien co-" Your face flushed. "Anyway, I have to take care of this myself."
He barely heard your last sentence, body reacting to the previous one. A grin stole across his concerned face, ready to tease you to lighten the mood if he could. His thumb stroked carefully along your ribs, making your face go even more red. You adjusted in his lap and felt him hard against your bottom.
"You work so hard," he murmured. "And those assholes don't take you seriously because you like my cock, is that right?"
You squirmed under his full attention and ducked your head. "Pretty much," you mumbled.
He scoffed and traced his finger down to graze along your thighs. "Too bad for them, then. I love your brain. It's big and beautiful and so so sexy."
"Are we still talking about my brain? Or you?"
Lyle coughed out a laugh and pulled your underwear to the side. "Why not both?" He stroked carefully over your folds, testing how wet you were. He brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked on them, drenching them with his spit. Then moved them back down, pulling your back to his chest in the process. He spread your legs open to land on either side of his and thrust one finger into you. You moaned softly, his name coming out in a sigh. "That's my girl."
You squirmed more in his lap, ass rubbing against his enormous cock. He thrusted up to meet you, grinding his hips against yours. You whined, pushing back as hard as you could, forcing a growly groan from deep in his throat.
"You feel so good rubbing against me, you know that?" He growled in your ear and brushed a finger across your clothed nipple, making you squirm even more.
He moved to thrust another finger inside and you rose up on your knees, leaning back against his chest, head rolling back onto his shoulder. He worked his fingers in an out until you were a whimpering mess. He palmed his cock through his shorts and bit down on your shoulder as you rode his hand faster and faster.
"Come on, baby. Come on," he urged you on, his voice dissolving into a guttural groan.
You reached down to rub your clit as you spasmed around his fingers, rolling your hips through your orgasm. You fell limply back into his lap. He sucked on his fingers after pulling them gently from you and groaned.
"Mmm, delicious."
You blushed and turned in his lap, hands reaching for where you knew his cock would be. He smiled sheepishly when you gaped at the giant stain that was on his shorts now.
"Couldn't help it, could you?" you smirked at him.
"You're gonna be the death of me, sweetheart." He pulled your face to his and kissed you hard, pulling you down on top of him.
***
Taglist:
@drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @ikranwings
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tragicxensemble · 2 months
Text
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One More Chance (At Love) (Pt.1/?)
Slowburn Mark Sloan x Reader x George O'Malley
TW/CW: Mentions of medical terms and just overall Grey's anatomy gore, social anxiety/ anxiousness, Christina being passive-aggressive to the reader of you squint, Love triangle, jump cuts
Disclaimer/Summary:
‼️ SEASON 2 SPOILERS!! ‼️
AJ's a new intern at Seattle Grace Hospital and the niece of Miranda Bailey. She has an average reputation and never heard of 'McSteamy' a.k.a Mark Sloan upon moving to Seattle and working at Seattle Grace. Not understanding the hype around him nor falling for his charm, he ends up falling first and hard because he thinks she's "hard to get". He tries his best to flirt with her but to no avail, because she never picks up on any of those social cues to realize that he has been flirting with her the entire time because of her being neurodivergent (specifically AuDHD). Besides Mark, there's also someone else who has been eyeing AJ since they met.
Ps: This is mostly a self-insert but you can still read and enjoy this!! It's been a while since I've made a fic and I think it's time for a fresh start :). This takes place in mid-season 2 (specifically episode 9, a month before the Thanksgiving part of the episode starts then jumpcuts to the events of the Thanksgiving episode) to around the end of season 3. There are a lot of jump cuts in this fic and rhe reader is black
Wc: 3.4k
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@spexialvixtimxunit @verytalented
Seattle Grace Hospital. A hospital filled with opportunities and so much drama that it could be a full-course meal. That is, of course, if you're interested in having surgeries and nonstop sleepless nights on the menu. If so, then sign me up. Having the opportunity to work in the same hospital as my Aunt was a blessing and a curse. She knew that I was studying to become a surgeon, but what she didn't know was that I would be working in the same hospital as her. The other interns around me called her 'The Nazi' but I simply called her Auntie Mandy.
No one knew that she was my aunt so they had no room to treat me differently because of my association with her. I deserved to be in that surgical program just as much as they did. I worked my ass off to become a well-respected doctor, not a punching bag for bottomless insults. So, my strategy to survive the internship came in 3 easy rules. A guide that I follow every day.
1. Befriend the Nurses.
This step was relatively easy. I'm always kind to everyone I meet unless they give me a reason to be mean. Plus, I would hate to get stuck on doing rectal exams or sutures for hours on end just because I pissed a nurse off. They're human beings just like me and deserve equal respect because it took them years of med school to get to where they are.
2. Keep to myself and only speak when spoken to (a.k.a practically become invisible to almost everyone unless I'm given instructions to complete a task.)
Now, this step is a relatively difficult one to follow. I have no clue who I will encounter upon being on Auntie Mandy's service and they would make my experience at SG unpredictable. I won't let them get to know me upon surface-level things about me. It's too risky for them to find out even the smallest incriminating detail about me. I'll just have to wait for the right moment to tell anyone that Bailey is my Aunt.
And lastly, my most hated rule.
3. NEVER unmask, unless necessary.
Masking in itself is extremely difficult. If I show any sign of my neurodivergence to neurotypicals who don't understand what it's like to hide parts of yourself every day 24/7, I'm looking at weeks of being a laughing stock and judged by everyone. Even though this is a possibility, the road to being a surgeon is never easy for anyone.
So, with that being said you would say that I have 3 impossible rules to follow. I would have to try my absolute hardest to not expose myself but also to be on top of my game in this program if I want to make it in the real surgical world.
-------
My alarm rings at the ripe time of 5 am. I had to be at the hospital by 7:00 am before 7:30 am rounds started and before I could officially be assigned to my resident. I knew before today that I was going to be assigned to Auntie Mandy because of the letter in the mail a few weeks ago declaring my official internship and transfer to Seattle Grace. As well as what day I would start working. Transferring hospitals is like transferring schools, you have to start all over again in a new place. New environment. With completely new people. People who are already used to each other and probably friends with each other. Whereas I'm the new kid, the outcast. The kid that sits alone during lunch while everyone has already created their cliques.
I took a few deep breaths before getting out of bed to stop myself from becoming anxious at the thought of all the wrong outcomes that could happen. I made sure to pack comfort snacks the night before and an emergency meltdown/overstimulation bag that consisted of earplugs, a few small but effective fidget toys, compactable noise-canceling headphones, and an mp3 player that has my comfort songs on speed dial. I made my bed, as I usually do to start my morning. Following up on that, I meditated and did yoga for an hour and a half. It's a way to calm and ground myself before I tackle whatever the day brings me.
I did my morning routine and skin care before heading back to my room, to change into my outfit.
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By this time it was already 6:40 am. I had enough time to spare to moisturize my locs and bring a scrunchie with me so that I could put my hair up when needed at work. I made sure to grab my messenger bag and my snacks for the long shift and promptly left my apartment at 6:50 am. The drive to work was roughly 15 minutes but ended up being 20 minutes with traffic. I didn't live far away from the hospital, which was alright in my opinion. I arrived there at 7:05 am and began to park. After I parked and got out of the car, a motorcyclist drove up loud and parked 2 spots away from me.
Right in the middle of my car and the motorcycle came another car with 2 women and a guy who I'd assume knew the female motorcyclist because the group of 4 joined each other and I began walking into the building behind them. Mid-walk, another guy joins the group after what I'd assume was his morning jog. He was huffing and saying something I couldn't make out because of me keeping my distance from them so that they wouldn't assume that I was following them even though I was. I had no freaking clue on where anything in this ginormous hospital was. Sure I had a tour of the hospital but it's so easy to forget the layout when I've only been in it once.
While we waited for the elevator I quietly said, "Excuse me," as I tapped the shoulder of a brown-haired guy with cute doe eyes. He stopped talking with the blonde-haired woman and turned to face me. "I'm sorry, but could you help direct me to the surgical locker room? I'm not entirely sure where it is." As I was speaking the rest of the group turned to look at me, which was not intimidating in any way. (Yes it was.) "Yeah sure, We're actually on our way there." says the doe-eyed guy. "I'm George O'Malley by the way, that's Izzie Stevens, Alex Karev, Meredith Grey, and Christina Yang. We're all surgical interns." George introduced the names to the faces of everyone and I hoped for the best that I could remember their names.
"Oh, I'm AJ. AJ Brown. I'm also an intern here. It's my first day." I spoke. "What! That's cool, we could show you around sometime!" Izzie said as the elevator dinged. I nodded and followed their lead and got on the elevator with them, standing near the back of it. I listened as they talked about how their mornings went. The elevator stopped at the second floor. After making a few turns into the corridors, we finally made it to the locker room.
"What's your locker number?" Meredith asked as she began to walk to her locker. "Uh, it's G - 23," I responded as I looked around at my surroundings. Everyone was already getting changed. "Oh, nice you have a locker next to me!" Izzie smiled. The digital clock on the wall read 7:15 am, there was enough time to change into my scrubs and have my pager and stethoscope ready. As I was putting my shoes on Meredith spoke to me, "So, AJ, where are you from?" She asked as she closed her locker door. "Oh, I'm from a small town in Illinois," I answered. "What's a city girl like you doing all the way here in rainy ol' Seattle? Besides to work here?" Alex chimed in, "Family, stuff." I spoke shortly, in hopes of ending the conversation.
"That's nice that you can be near family here. Also, who's service are you on?" Izzie asked. "I have Dr. Bailey," I spoke as I stood up while closing my locker. "Awesome, she has the Nazi too." Christina deadpanned as they all began to finish up. "Christina, be nice!" Meredith nudged Christina's arm and tried her best to whisper that to her but failed. "We can show you where she is today." The group leaves the locker room and I trail behind them to find my Aunt.
We head to the elevator and we make it to the third floor, where we come to a spacious waiting area and a front desk that I'd assume contained charts and other important patient information. Among the crowd of people walking around stood Auntie Mandy, writing in a chart binder at the front desk. "Good morning Dr. Bailey." They all said one by one, before George spoke, "I think we have a new intern with us that's on your service." That sparked her to look up from the chart. "New intern? What new intern?" She said almost with an attitude. They all miraculously parted like the Red Sea to reveal my presence to her.
"Well, I'll be damned! If it isn't AJ!" Bailey replied with a smile before running up to hug me, which shocked the group as if they had never seen her act sweet towards anyone. She released me from her grasp and said, "I had no idea they were assigning you to my service! How's your mom? I know everyone must miss me back there in Illinois." Bailey chirped. I hesitated and replied shortly, "Everyone's fine and they do." I laughed awkwardly. "Wait? How do you know Dr. Bailey and how does she know you?" Christina asked, answering the burning question that was floating around in everyone's head.
"She's-" Before Dr. Bailey could finish her sentence our pagers went off. Talk about being saved by the bell. Or beep in this case. I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding in as we all began to follow Bailey's orders on where to be assigned. George ended up being the one to be my guide for the day as I helped him with patients and got used to doing checkups and filling out charts for a few hours. After that, Bailey assigned George to teach me how to run labs and work on sutures in the pit, as well as prescribing actual medicine to the patients. Before I knew it, it was lunchtime.
"Hey, would you like to have lunch with me? I'm usually with everyone because we all eat together sometimes." George asked softly as we headed to the cafeteria I assumed. "Uh, sure." I agreed. I brought a simple lunch with me, a turkey sandwich, apple slices, and carrots. While George offered to buy me apple juice. As I began to sit down next to George, Christina let out a loud groan and said lowly to herself, "Why did George invite someone we barely know to lunch, it's like she's his pet or something." This time Merideth kicked Christina's leg under the table, which caused her to verbally say 'ow' in response.
Upon hearing that comment, before I could start eating I got up and excused myself by saying, "I think left my pager in my locker. I'm gonna go get it." I grabbed all of my things and left immediately, what did I expect from a bunch of strangers? I found an empty hallway with abandoned beds and I ate in silence.
George's POV
AJ grabbed her things and speed walked away. Christina scoffed and spoke, "Looks like she ran off to go find her mommy, Dr. Bailey," Everyone let out laughs at Christina's 'joke' if you even call it that. "Enough!" I yelled as I slammed my hands on the table, "She has been nothing but nice to you guys and this is how you treat her on her first day? People deserve chances and you guys never even gave her that option to one." I grabbed the rest of my lunch and stormed off in hopes of finding AJ, before hearing out what everyone was going to say to my brief speech.
AJ's POV
I was almost done eating my lunch when I heard a familiar voice say, "There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" It was George. What a relief. "You have?" I said as I finished the last of my apple slices before I threw away the remaining trash. "Look, I'm sorry that they were mean to you, they don't like new people coming into their space." George apologized before he sat somewhat next to me. "You don't have to apologize for them George, it's not your place to apologize for them." I feigned a smile to try to reassure him.
"Sometimes they make fun of me too. And I wonder if they're my friends or if I'm convincing myself that they are," George confessed. "Well, can you be yourself when you're around them?" I questioned. George didn't answer. "If you have to think about it for a long time then maybe you should reconsider if they are your friends. Real friends don't make fun of you for being you. They appreciate your uniqueness and don't judge you." I declared. "It seems like you're a friend expert." I laughed a little at his comment. "I've had a lot of friends but never kept any of them so I know what it's like." I spoke truthfully, "Thanks for the lunch, George." I thanked him before I walked away once again.
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By that evening, my hands and feet were tired from walking and constantly talking to all the people. I desperately needed time to recharge my social battery because I could feel myself starting to get overstimulated. The lights were starting to get too bright and the bustling noise could make anyone go insane. I had a few minutes to myself in the on-call room so I spent it playing with my Tangle fidget toy and listening to a playlist of my favorite Michael Jackson songs in the dark while lying down on one of the beds on the bottom bunk. Needless to say, I ended up falling asleep for a good hour before I faintly heard the door open.
"AJ, wake up, Dr. Bailey needed me to find you," George said as he tapped my shoulder in an attempt to wake me. I groaned before sitting up on my elbows and glaring at him for waking me up, "I'm sorry to wake you but she needs more hands in the pit." He confessed which caused me to roll my eyes. I nodded before shoving my MP3 player and fidget toy down in my lab coat pocket. I put my shoes back on while George watched and we both headed out to the pit together.
Only a few more hours to go.
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My first 12-hour shift was finally over. The aching in my feet was beyond compare even though I had comfortable shoes on made for walking. I went back to the locker room to change and I found myself left with a few people and George changing near me. "Are you autistic? I mean, if you are that's okay with me. I won't tell the others if you don't want to tell them so that they don't make fun of you. I'm not saying that they will but they can be mean sometimes. Well, not Izzie. Wait no, Izzie can be mean sometimes but not in-" I just stared at him until he finished rambling.
"Sorry, that was rude. I didn't mean to assume or anything. It's just that I-" George began again before I stopped him. This must have been on his mind all day. "Yes, I'm autistic and I have Adhd as well. And I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone because I don't want any attention on me about it. People will treat me differently." I shrugged it off to George as I grabbed my bag. "Can I ask why?" George said as he sat down on the bench. "Why what?" I replied, not looking at him. "Why don't you want to tell anyone?" I let out a huff and closed the locker before I faced him.
"This is breaking my rules," I mumbled, "Rules? What do you mean?" There was confusion in his voice but I could hear that he wanted to understand. "Ever since I was a kid, I always knew that I was different. I never had a lot of friends growing up and I never was invited to birthday parties because of how people treated me for being different. I don't normally spill my life to people I just met but I feel like I can trust you. I've been judged about my diagnosis of AuDHD. There's no point in trying to be myself when I can be what people expect me to be."
"But doesn't that get tiring? Having to mask all the time?" He asked and I nodded quickly. "It's hard to get a break and for people to not stare at me when I stim and fidget," I said disappointingly, "But what do I expect?" I shrugged it off and began to make my way to the door. "It's hard being myself in a room full of people who don't get you, but thanks anyway for trying to understand George, have a good night."
And with that, I once again walked away. It's becoming a habit now.
------
(A month later, at the start of episode 9)
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Izzie had invited me over to help cook and decorate the house for Thanksgiving. I wore a simple outfit, a black long sleeve with denim jeans and black Converse. My favorite brand of shoes.
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When I arrived I was greeted by Izzie rushing to get me inside. "I need you to get George for me, he's upstairs and he's supposed to be helping me cook but he hasn't left his room yet," Izzie said frantically. "Oh, okay. Um. Where exactly is his room? I've never been here before." I said while taking off my leather jacket and Izzie hanging it up for me.
"It's up the stairs, down the hall, and to the right." I listened to her directions and I reached George's room. I gently knocked on the door and waited for a reply. "Come in!" George said from the other side. I carefully opened it and saw him fully clothed on his bed with his eyes shut. "Why are you just lying on your bed?" I spoke as I closed his door behind me. He quickly opened his eyes, not knowing it was me.
"AJ! I- when did you get here?" He hurried and sat up to look at me. "I got here just now, not too long ago. You know Izzie wants you downstairs to help right?" I sat down on the end of his bed before he plopped back down with a huff. "I know but I'm afraid to go out there." I quirked a brow, "Afraid? Why would you be afraid?" As I said that he held his hands up and began counting down from 10. A thunderous noise arose from downstairs, and just when he reached zero, 3 men barged into his and screamed, "O'Malley!!"
Startled by the sudden noise, I looked at George for an answer. "Because of that." George huffed again. "Georgie, since when did you have a girlfriend? And she's hot too." I was taken aback at the man's comment. "C'mon, you know Georgie never gets laid," George rolled his eyes before getting up, trying to hide his embarrassment from me. "Please ignore my idiotic brothers," He began to go to his closet and grab camo wear. "Where are you going? Aren't you going to help Izzie?" There was desperation in those chocolate-brown eyes of his, and just when he was about to explain himself the older man chimed in and said, "Our Georgie is gonna kill his first turkey this year, I can feel it!"
"Dad you know Georgie isn't gonna kill a turkey, he never does." His eldest brother spoke, "No, he's gonna chicken out like how he usually does-" "Shut up!" George says while his brothers laugh, his face turning as red as a tomato now. "I'll be back as soon as I can to help. I promise I won't miss dinner." George tells me as he puts on his beanie and I thought he couldn't look any cuter. "Well, you better tell Izzie that," I scoffed as his family began to drag him out of the room chanting 'O'Malley' over and over again until they were down the stairs and out of the door.
"I don't think they're coming back any time soon." Izzie whined, "I hope he doesn't actually kill a bird."
---
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ddarker-dreams · 6 months
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Hi! I have a question, you can ignore this if you want to but I’ve found myself really loving the way you write and the range of writing you can articulate as well. Speaking from someone who is nowhere close to that level of skill you possess, would you mind being able to explain your journey of writing, if you practiced any particular methods or anything else to get to this stage you are at right now? Unless you have been gifted the talent of writing from birth and didn’t need to try for much long or long enough to call it a journey. Could you also spare some tips and advice for someone who wants to start writing stories and what to look into/practice?
I love your work a lot and I am constantly waiting for the notification of your new posts, despite not being a writer myself I do love breaking down and analysing writing and your stories are always such good options for me to look into. Thank you so much for writing and sparing your time to produce such well done pieces of work — I felt extremely corny writing this, excuse me for this language, I promise I’m not a pimp!
THIS ISN'T CORNY AT ALL!!!! ❌🌽❌!!!!
i'm deeply grateful for all your kind words, thank you so so much 😭
i don't mean this in a self-deprecating way, but i've never considered myself a gifted or super incredible writer, i just get hype about story ideas and try to make them as good as i can. due to that, i start sweating when people ask for advice because i don't consider myself qualified... i do have a writing advice tag, but take everything i say with a grain of salt!! if it's fanfic literally all that matters is that you enjoy whatever you're writing.
i'm more than happy to share my writing journey though!! it's kinda fun to reminiscence.
i've loved reading and writing ever since i was a little lock. while thinking about this ask, it occurred to me that what i've always been the most invested in are the characters. i'd think about 275894275 different storylines with them. i didn't start writing fanfic until i was around 11 though, everything was handwritten. or in flipnote hatena.
i did a lot of fanfic writing from 11-14 buuuut then my interest in it kinda fizzled out. it wasn't until i watched hxh for the first time that i took it up again bc chrollo is that powerful. that's when i started conceptualizing HWR. i looked at my early writing folder, the first HWR fanfic i wrote was in 2016 when i was 15 ?? here's a cursed excerpt:
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anyway, once i started making googly eyes at chrollo, it was gg. i've been writing often ever since.
what's helped me the most is to focus on the elements i find interesting. for example, i like fleshing out my MCs, focusing on dialogue, and developing a universe around the main pairing. because i enjoy this so much it's (mostly) always easy to devote time and effort toward it.
so i think it comes down to finding out what niches you like and working with those. some writers prefer to write with heavy prose, others are more succinct, some writers like dialogue, others prefer to be more action based... etc etc. this does require a little time if you're completely new to writing, but you know yourself best. you'll eventually pick up on what part of the story you're most excited to write.
this isn't particularly mind-blowing or anything but i hope it helps some 😭 what completely Altered my mindset was when i realized i can be as self-indulgent as humanly possible. cringe is not in my vocabulary. write a MC where every single character is in love with them if you want. write a 100k word fic about your OC being isekaid into x world. post about your f/os, draw art of you with your fav, go ham.
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merakiui · 8 months
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oml,,, fifty pages of Yan!Jade goodness? Mera, you're spoiling us!! do you have a rough idea of how much longer tmdg might be once you're done?
I'm already hyped because Jade being a pathetic babygirl in love who doesn't know how to rizz up darling while being himself is *chef's kiss* but it's just to know what we have to look forward to!!
- 🦈
I’ve outdone myself… I thought I couldn’t beat fwb Azul’s 88 pages, but I’ve learned that anything is possible with TMDG. ^^;;; if I were to hazard an estimate, I’d say it’s possible I might reach the 80-page mark. Perhaps even a little more than that depending on how many pages certain scenes end up being. So far I’m halfway through the story. There are two main smut scenes left, but in between that I’d like to add in a few fluffy moments between Reader and Jade and some moments between Reader and Floyd! There’s also the epilogue, which I’ve decided to leave in because I feel like it’s a good note to end on. >:D
I’m really happy to know you’re hyped!!! (≧∀≦) Jade is cute and sometimes sinister in this fic, and it reads more like a sugary romance at times. But there’s the underlying unease of yandere, so I’m pleased with how it’s shaping up! He has no idea what he’s doing and how to rizz you, so he puts on his best Floyd impression because that’s what works. But he’s yet to realize that he doesn’t need to try so hard to charm you as someone he’s not. He’s already very charming as he is hehe. <3 and his dynamic with Reader!!!! AAAAAAA OTL I can’t hush about it. They’re literally so perfect for each other. T-T
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hybridalex17 · 8 months
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Change of plans post
I've been thinking about what I'm posting and why I'm posting and came to some thoughts that I would have liked to share with you.
This post doesn't have any negative or heavy stuff, just my plans and the future of what I will be posting.
1) The first thing I came to while thinking, is that I was seeing a lot of times that I draw things that, let me be honest, don't bring me happiness.
Mostly it's about O4l ho4se f4nd0m and stuff I draw for it. Currently I am drawing what brings me happiness cause I like to experiment with designs and give characters their titan forms, but before it I was noticing a lot of times that I were drawing only cause of likes.
This is the bad habbit I gained while was in leg0 m0v1e f4nd0m and the thing I am trying to overcome.
And why I brought it up? Well, cause I don't like it. I don't like to know that I do this only cause of stupid likes, just to feel "welcome"
I don't like it at all and from now on i will be drawing unpopular things and my au's for this f4nd0m too. Because I don't feel any interest in the canon anymore.
2) I decided to leave few fandoms that I lost interest in. Like, I never really been in them, I just felt some sort of need to be in them, because others are in them too.
I am completely leaving Minecraft story mode fandom. I don't feel interested in it anymore.
Temporarily leaving Jackie Chan adventures fandom and will return to it only when going to have good idea for the story and lore.
Temporarily stopping arting arts for murder drones fandom. I just don't have good ideas for arts.
I will also temporarily stop arting for Owl house fandom because i am having some disonace with myself because of stuff to draw for this fandom.
Half-completely leaving lego movie fandom. After that drama shit, i no longer feel comfortable to draw/post arts for it. The only thing I will be doing, are fic updates and cover drawing. Maybe will post my old arts i drew for this fandom, just to not leave them "unshared."
3) I decided to change few plans in posting stuff for my the devil within au and mostly about these comic/mini comic things and canon stuff.
As for comics, I'm no longer continuing that comic where two goblin friends got into 4tsv thing.
I will finish page two only because I can't leave work half-done but after it I won't be creating these kind of things if I'm not interested in them.
But i will continue the story in fanfic-like style because i want to "break" some things in that "canon" and put someone on his rightful place. I'm sure you get about who i'm talking about.
Yes, i am not interested in 4tsv almost at all, not my type of movie. And plus to this i HATE hype. I want to see that people enjoy stuff that isn't popular but interesting, instead of hype.
This is my politic both here and on YT. I am not a hype type person. I like things and i share them. And i am not going to change myself for ANY stupid reason.
I will continue to, from time to time, write fanfic one-shot like style thingies to tell some stories about The devil within au that takes place somewhere in the fic, but i won't be revealing any spoilery things from it.
And maybe i will be doing the same thing for my other spider man au's aka for USM au and and for MSM 2017 au's, cause i liked to do so. And even more, since i don't write fics for these two au's i can talk openly about stuff from it.
And now about Goblin-verse fight part 3, it will be. I won't say that sometime soon, cause Aken Dreayk there are A LOT of difficult action scenes and they take me a lot of time and power to draw.
And even harder it becomes since I don't have enough refs for not tssm art style Harry. And sometimes I have to, somehow, try and recreate them by myself but it's still not the result I want to have since I am mostly used to original tssm art style.
Now a little bit of plans for future mini comics.
I have plans for two funny mini comics. One that includes only two goblin friends and second where they meet with au Gwen.
I also have plans to start drawing mini comics for Usm Goblinied au about Peter and Harry from there.
And a plan for one, dark mini comic that "destroys" tssm canon and at the same time makes it only even more painful and dark. The mini comic that follows the devil within au but with not canon, for fic, events.
The "dark the devil within au" That's how i'm going to call it from now on.
4) I will be drawing stuff for my au's and ONLY for my au's. I decided to do this because I don't feel comfortable to post arts with "canon" stuff. AT FUCKING ALL.
In some of fandoms, I simply don't like canon and absolutely HATE stupid "people" who start to yell at everybody who draws something A LITTLE BIT different from canon.
I simply don't want to lose interest in the fandom just because of this stupid shit and these "people". If you don't like my au, just block the tag i use or block me.
There's no need to be overdramatic and "canon OVERprotective". Let's be people and just use our mouths instead of fists.
5) I will start taking a break from time to time. So if any day I won't be posting anything it's either I don't have internet or taking a break.
Usually I try to inform people if I will have one or if I'm going to log off due to personal reasons. So just keep that in mind, in case I will "disappear"
This is all. I decided to do these changes because I'm tired of feeling off and "different" because of it.
See you soon with more stuff for my au's.)
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forever-fan · 6 months
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My FNAF Hyperfixation has inspired me!
So I've been reading a bunch of FNAF time travel fix-it fics. If you don't know what I am referring to, they are basically fics where Michael/William/Henry/basically anyone else finds themselves in the past by some circumstance. They then try to fix the future.
Now that you know what I'm talking about I can actually get to the point. I have decided to write a FNAF time travel fix-it fic. It is tied to an AU, so don't come at me about "canon". Here is a sneak peek at it.
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Michael wished he died in the fire. Well, technically he was already dead. He had no pulse and he couldn't breathe. His brain had long since stopped working and he got his energy from Remnant rather than digesting food. In all reality, he was a stubborn spirit trapped within his own corpse.
Michael hadn't died in the fire that Henry had set. Hell, his body was barely harmed. All he remembered was passing out before waking up in a random alley. Michael realized someone saved him, but now he was even more alone than ever before.
When the Mega Pizzaplex opened on top of Michael's old restaurant, he knew there would be trouble. Sure enough, there was. Michael took a job as a security guard and found that, while they weren't murderous, the animatronics weren't quite right.
Michael also found his fellow guard, Vanessa, to be a little shifty. She turned out to be way more than shifty when she pushed him into the daycare ball pit from a height that would have maimed or killed anyone else.
Michael's afterlife only got worse when he emerged from the ball pit and found that he was back in Fredbear's Family Diner in 1980.
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This short introduction obviously doesn't tell you all the fun little headcanons that I have for this fic. I guess you'll just have to read it to find out. Of course, I haven't written in yet. But! I am so hyped about the movie that I think I'll probably finish the first chapter before twenty-four hours have passed.
[Edit: My entire document on Microsoft Word deleted itself from reality... RIP. So... I'm rewriting the first chapter all over again. :> And trust me, I looked through all of my files and drives. Let it be known, I have turned on auto-save cause it sucks to rewrite dialogue, and know for a fact that it's not the same as it was. Also, I lost a doc with half of my headcanons for a different fnaf au. Sadness.]
Real quick, I do have only a little bit of important information for anyone who wants to understand the timeline. (Also so I can remember the basic timeline I made for myself.)
Original Timeline
1968 - Michael is born.
1973 - Elizabeth is born.
1974 - Charlie Emily is born.
1975 - Evan is born.
1980 - William discovers something called Remnant.
1981 - The Missing Children Incident happens and Fredbear's barely stays open.
1982 - William begins to create the Funtimes to harvest Remnant.
1983, March - Elizabeth dies at her friend's birthday party, three days after Circus Baby's Pizza World opened.
1983, August - Evan dies a week after the bite of '83. (FNAF 4)
1983, August - Mrs. Afton [Yet to be named] dies after driving her car off a cliff.
1983, October - Charlie is murdered by William at her own birthday party.
1986 - Michael goes to college to get away from the tragedy and gets a little therapy.
1990, April - Michael receives a letter from his father asking him to find Elizabeth.
1990, June - Michael dies in the Sister Location. (FNAF 5)
1991, January - Michael assumes the name 'Fritz Smith' and works at Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria before being fired on his first day. (FNAF 2)
1993 - Michael uses the name 'Mike Schmidt' and works at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. (FNAF 1)
1993 - William dies in the Spring Bonnie suit
2000 - Michael works at Fazbear's Fright. (FNAF 3)
2010, Late December - Michael opens Freddy Fazbear Pizza Place. (FNAF 6, Pizzeria Simulator)
2010, Early January - Henry sets the fire, and Michael survives. (Still FNAF 6, Pizzeria Simulator)
2020, July - Michael works at the Mega Pizzaplex and is pushed into the ball pit only six days before the events of Security Breach.
Time Travel Timeline
[To be edited as chapters are added. Peek under the cut only if you have read the most recent chapter, or if you don't give a shit about spoilers.]
1980 - Michael arrives in the past. He is not happy.
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thecoramaria · 2 months
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Do you have any advice for self-promotion for people who feel anxious about promoting themselves? Sometimes I fear I sound too "arrogant" or "overconfident" when I'm trying to promote. I don't want to come across as self-important, but I want to hype myself up to an extent. Thank you!
I think it comes down to identifying what "arrogance" and "overconfidence" actually are and how they would actually look in this situation. Being arrogant about promoting your fic would be:
Going on about how your work is inherently amazing or that you're objectively talented. Or that writing fic is easy and implying that anyone who struggles with it has something wrong with them.
Putting down other writers, fics, tropes, or ships to try and make yourself and your work look better.
Declaring anyone who hates your work a "hater" who is "jealous" or has "bad taste."
Being blind to your own flaws.
Promoting your work on other people's work without any kind of prompting, or only using certain communities (such as discord servers) as a place to promote your work instead of interact.
And plot twist! Putting down your own work or lampshading all the problems is a type of arrogance as well, because you're already assuming the reader will hate what you've done. The reality is that if they do like your work, those kinds of comments from the author will make the reader feel stupid for liking it anyway.
Basically, arrogance is trying to tell other people how they should feel about your work. That's what puts a bad taste in people's mouth.
The following is not being arrogant about your own fic:
Sharing snippets of your work so people have the opportunity to decide for themselves if it interests them and would be worth checking out.
Saying how proud you are of your work, or how hard you've worked on it to get it to where it is. There's nothing wrong with showing pride in what you do, and often when people see how much work has gone into something, they get even more interested in it.
Creating memes, graphics, artworks, or shitposts about your own fics. Be your own fandom! I promise it's like the most normal thing ever.
Recommending your own fic to someone when they express a desire to read something like whatever you already happen to have written.
Pointing out particular elements of your own work that you enjoy. People will post about how they write their dream fics all the time.
Providing behind-the-scenes commentary on what you've written or pointing out particular moments from your story you love. E.g. "Omg I just wrote this super fluffy scene and it's sooooooo cute! I can't wait for you to read it and I hope you all squee~!"
Pitching your fic. This is when you try to appeal to your "target audience". E.g. "Are you looking for a spicy enemies-to-lovers slowburn about [Ship Name]? Then boy howdy have I got the fic for you!" Basically, you're describing the premise of your story and elements people might be interested in and then throwing it out there.
The difference here is that you aren't telling other people how they should feel about your work. You can say you're aiming to evoke a certain feeling, but ultimately, you aren't making it sound there's an objectively correct way to go about it.
In conclusion, as long as you aren't trying to tell people how to think or feel about your fic (or promote it in inappropriate situations), you're never going to come across as arrogant or overconfident about your work. If anyone does think that, it's worth asking yourself if that's a "them" problem first and foremost, or even get a second opinion from someone you trust.
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prince-liest · 1 month
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This may be an odd question, but I believe you mentioned you got into writing because of rp(or at least into fanfiction?) And I was wondering how you transitioned into writing solo? Most of my writing is/was with a partner, but I've been trying to write on my own, and I've found it incredibly difficult. I'm told that what I write is still good regardless, but I've a hard time both finding enthusiasm for it without a partner to bounce off of or finishing whatever I'm working on.
This might just be a me thing and more to do with being self-critical, but if you have any advice, I'd really appreciate it. I just want to figure out how to enjoy writing again without jumping through weird hoops for motivation.
(You may have already been comfortable writing even before rp and if that's the case, feel free to disregard this question.)
I'd tried to write a bit of fanfic before my RP days with limited success motivating myself, so it really was very much RP that got me the skills and ability to be able to write full-form fics!
But more than mechanical skill, mostly I think the issue you face is very similar to what I struggled with for a while when swapping to writing fanfic, which is that a lot of the reason RP is so easy and rewarding is because it's such a profoundly social activity. You write a few paragraphs and then you get social feedback immediately from your RP partner in the form of chatting about it and/or the RP response you get! With fanfiction, you have to write a whole damn piece or chapter, post it, and then hope that you get comments if you want engagement - and then those comments are inevitably going to be a little bit less personal if, like me, you RP OCs that you put a lot of yourself into rather than pre-existing characters!
The problem with doing things for the sake of extrinsic motivation is that it kills your intrinsic motivation to do those things. This isn't a moral flaw, it's a documented psychological effect! Nowadays I write primarily because I want to see the things I put into the world, but that's fucking easy for me to say when I also have a large reader base and really enthusiastic commentors, isn't it? And it took me a hot minute to figure out how to transition to motivating myself that way rather than because I wanted interaction.
My suggestion is, honestly, to find folks that hype you up! I kinda crested that barrier by getting possessed by writing demons and pounding out like 60k words of insane Hawks-centric character study in one month during the 2020 quarantine, and I was lucky enough that people really liked it and immediately flooded my notifications with the kind of really lovely, long-form comments that my writing style encourages, which isn't really a typical experience. Those folks that hype you up, it is LOVELY if they are your friends, but sometimes what you really need to do is find the small social circle of freaks that are really into whatever niche thing it is that you are writing, and infiltrate their Discord. Ship-specific groups are really good for this! (Especially for rarepairs.)
But a lot of it is really going to be finding the balance of finding supportive people who will feed into your excitement, and also finding that part of yourself that finds the process of writing to be fun. Social activity is still 100% just a necessary part of the human experience, and I myself post snippets of my writing online and on Discord all the time for the little dopamine hit of "Yay! We're enjoying this together!" but it's become something I do because I want to share the joy I already get from writing, not because I'm writing to share it!
Which also means that you should write things that you enjoy writing. ;) Write things you are actually excited about - not just things you want to read, but things you think would be fun to write, and if there are boring parts that you're getting stuck on? Fucking skip them! I am not kidding! You think anybody thought it was a loss that I literally never even mentioned how radiostatic got together for the first time in 666? If they did, nobody's mentioned it, because it wasn't necessary to the story I actually wanted to tell. Literally so goddamn many of my fics start with cold opens because I don't like to bother with exposition until things have already gotten rolling. Fanfiction especially is GREAT for this because people are already familiar with the world you're writing in!
You are writing to entertain yourself! If it's not entertaining, don't fucking write it! Or figure out what about it is boring you, and then write it differently. This will have the splendid side effect of teaching you how to write transitions and also making a fic that is more fun to read. >:)
Anyway, this has gotten quite long, so: I'm sorry that I wasn't able to offer a great deal of advice, because I relate deeply to what you're experiencing but I basically got to speedrun the transition phase. I hope that it was at least a little bit helpful!
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ardenrabbit · 2 months
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your work is all so amazing!! do you have any advice for writers who maybe want to start writing longer fanfictions?
Ahh!! Fhhfkf thank you!!! ;^; I don't know how useful or coherent my advice might be, but here's what's helped me in the past:
1. Know what kind of writer you are. If you work better by starting with a structured outline, do that, but make sure to actually start WRITING the scenes after that lol. If you get more momentum by diving in and just seeing where the story goes, do that, but make sure you have a DIRECTION to go in. A healthy balance of planning and discover-as-you-go is the most fun in my experience. (I usually start by improvising and having fun with a concept and then gradually cornering myself into planning lol. By then, planning isn't a chore; it's just satisfying to see everything fall together.)
2. Don't force an idea to be a long fic if it doesn't need to be. If you feel like your concept would be better served by a short fic, do it justice by not stretching it into a shape it doesn't need.
3. If your concept is bigger and does need a long fic format, make sure you know what threads you're weaving together. Write an actual list of themes, subplots, and character arcs and keep track of them, and figure out how you want to pace them in relation to one another.
4. Have resources prepped! Name banks for minor characters; notes/links to articles on the time period/environment/culture you're writing about; pictures that inspire you; songs that hype you up for your story or the characters... Mostly, if you don't like doing research, START LIKING IT. Find joy in researching the symptoms of hypovolemic shock and the native flora of Northern China. Look up multiple sources for each little topic. (I just keep a messy list of links and notes in the bottom of my docs lol)
5. If you get stuck or bored, revisit the source material. Watching/reading the original story can remind you why you got so excited to write fic about it and refresh your ideas.
6. If you're bored while writing a scene, it's probably boring to read. Don't turn writing into a chore. Think about what needs to happen in a scene and why it matters, find what you care about in it, and follow that. If it starts feeling like you don't need a scene and that you were just using it to fill in time, cut it.
7. My favorite thing: don't be afraid to write out of order. Write little blurbs or pieces of dialogue for chapters way ahead, if you have something in mind! Give yourself a goal to catch up to. It'll help you get the big picture of your whole fic and then fill in the scenes you need to get there.
8. Don't let people tell you what to write!! This goes both ways: if people say "it should've gone like [thing you don't wanna do]," tell them to shush and write their own shit. If they say "it would be so cool if [thing you were already planning] happened," do it anyway! You don't have to change just for the element of surprise. Don't twist the story out of place just because someone guessed your awesome idea. Everyone will be happier for it.
9. Don't settle for your first draft if it doesn't feel right. If you're working on a scene and it doesn't fulfill what you need, restart it from as many angles as necessary until you're happy. Seriously, building off a scene you don't like will make you feel dissatisfied and poison everything to follow.
10. Talk about your fic with people who hype you up about it. If you're not used to writing long stories, do what you need to keep you motivated and EXCITED about it. If asking someone to beta read helps you, do it! (I almost never ask for beta readers bc I'm a control freak, but honestly they can be so helpful.)
11. The forbidden tip: if you lose interest halfway through, it's okay to drop it. Do what makes you happy. You don't owe anyone anything and you're doing this for free. Try to finish it though lol, it's so satisfying to see a work complete. Do it for the dopamine at the end.
Disclaimer: I write long fics 1) because I like to soak in them and savor them and 2) because I don't know how to shut up and write short ones lol. I deeply admire people with the skill to just say what they need to say and wrap up a story neatly.
Also, I don't follow my own advice. Plenty of my scenes have fluff that I could have cut but didn't because Mark Twain is dead and can't tell me what to do lmao
I hope this had something helpful in it 😅 Good luck! 💖💖💖
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lovelylonerliterature · 3 months
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20 Questions for Fic Writers Game
tagged by @ejunkiet and was just thinking of a tag game similar to this so the braincell is braincell-ing~
tagging - you, reading this!! also (no pressure!):
Oh gosh, anyone, really! I'm not sure who has been tagged at this point but I'll add some peeps and persons who might be interested
@sealriously-sealrious @zozo-01 @friendlyfaded @glassbearclock @gingerbreadmonsters
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1 - How many works do you have on AO3?
On my redacted pseud, I have 111 :) 
If we count my old works on my old account, then that total bumps up to about 229 😅
2 - What's your total AO3 word count?
826,851 words over the course of my entire ao3 career :O 
3 - What fandoms do you write for?
Currently, only two I think? Wayhaven Chronicles is taking up my time because I love Unit Bravo but I am still writing Redacted fics (requests) on the side little by little.
The temptation to write for other fics comes up sometimes, but I usually just put the idea in a doc and shelf it because of reasons. 
4 - What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
As Lovely, my top five are:
Show Me (Sam/Darlin’, Rating E)
Wake Up Call (Sam/Darlin’, G)
Thirsty (Sam/ Darlin’, E)
Monkey Brain (Geordi/Cutie, E)
baby, it’s cold outside (Geordi/Cutie, E)
My readers are horny on the main, it seems (^///^)
As for the other fandoms, that would be a long answer so if you want to know for a specific fandom, my inbox is open lol
5 - Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I try, but sometimes I genuinely don’t know what to say and feel as if I am like a robot repeating thanks and well wishes over and over. I don’t open ao3 much as of late unless I am posting, mainly because I reread comments over and over when I see them often and it makes me feel a bit ashamed of how difficult it is to put my gratefulness into words ;.;
6 - What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I haven’t released it yet ( ̄y▽ ̄)╭
But out of the stories that are currently uploaded, the couple that pops into my head is Sweetheart and Milo. I have one fic called “Trade Mistakes” where Sweetheart is patiently waiting for Milo and another fic (considered around the same time but written fully and posted much later) called “Talking (To Myself) Again”. 
Not sure why Sweetheart and Milo keep catching strays but know I really do love  this couple (っ °Д °;)っ
7 -What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Almost all of them (~ ̄▽ ̄)~
But it we are considering it from a “it was painful but became happy/promising” standpoint, I would say it is a tie between Formidable and Retrograde. 
Both end on a light note and make you feel hopeful for the characters. 
8 - Do you get hate on fics?
Only once or twice on an actual fic, but I genuinely can’t remember the reason. 
Nowadays, I get the occasional anon telling me my writing is overly hyped (which, I sometimes agree with because ~imposter syndrome~) but I ignore them because I never claimed to be a super amazing writer. I’m just a person that happens to enjoy writing and have other people that enjoy the writing too. That’s enough for me <3 
I’ll write until I don’t enjoy it anymore. And then I won’t. 
9 - Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Indeed 🤭. I write a variety, I’d say! I love soft and sweet and intimate but also impulsive and steamy and borderline feral. The softer stuff shows emotional intimacy and feels almost like worship while the rougher stuff gives a sort of “drunk on you” desperation~
I’ve been really into exploring how sex and kinks work between fuck-buddies vs. those with developing/established relationships. It’s been super fun to learn about all aspects of relationships (from the softer sides to the more primal ones) 
10 - Do you write crossovers?
I don’t think so? I’d have to go through my content to see if I ever have but I doubt it lol
11 - Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I have! 
Many times in the past, but not in redacted as far as I’m aware. I believe the fics were from Haikyuu!! And Voltron.
12 - Have you ever had a fic translated?
I have! :D It was translated into French I think? A Haikyuu soulmate fic with Hinata and Ushijima if I remember correctly. Whether it is still live and up online, I have no clue
(Edit: checked my ao3 and the fic was Palette which you can find the translation of here :D) . 
I'm pretty sure there was another one translated to Russian, but I don’t have a way to check since it wasn’t posted to ao3. It was definitely Haikyuu though. 
13 - Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I haven’t, but I was always way too shy to approach anyone about doing it. I'm open to it but also don't want to disappoint anyone, you know?
14 - What's your all time favorite ship?
Hmmmmm. I don’t think I have an all time favorite. It changes depending on my mood. I have a soft spot for crack ships though. I love character study (because you get to gain a deeper understanding which is needed to pair people who barely interact). That’s part of the fun of fanfiction, after all~
 
15 - What's a WIP that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
I genuinely think I will finish them all. The ones that I fear I won’t finish have never been posted, so no one will miss them if they never see the light of day <(_ _)>
16 - What are your writing strengths?
Strengths? Hm…I’ve been told I write dialogue and can grasp characterization pretty well. Most of the compliments I get involved how some of my writing feels like it could be canon (which puts a silly lil smile on my face). 
17 - What are your writing weaknesses?
I’m impatient with my own writing. When it comes to ideas and concepts, sometimes I over or under estimate the length and it ends up not feeling right. I have pieces of plots and can sometimes write around them and have them turn out pretty well, but other times I get stuck because what I write no longer suits the original idea (so I end up having two fics, one with just a concept and another that is slightly similar but it’s own monster).
 
18 - Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Personally, NOPE. The only time I use another language is when it comes to pet names. The languages I speak I am unable to type in (grammar wise I also suck) and while some languages use the same alphabet, others do not and would look pretty odd just tossed into a fic unless romanized.
19 - First fandom you wrote for?
Funny enough, I think mine was Naruto way back when on Fanfiction. Net lmao. It was a Sakura and Gaara fic, I think? (my hatred for Sasuke will live forever). But yeah, rare pairs/crack pairs were my origin story :D
20 - Favorite fic you've written?
Hmmm. That is TOUGH considering how many stories (posted and not) I have. 
Redacted-wise, I quite like all of them for different reasons. Seeing where I started in  the fandom (all hesitant and formal) to now (still hesitant but also throwing myself at ideas) is honestly so cool. 
I was able to explore a lot more with these characters, as I never quite liked the idea of certain concepts in the other fandoms for obvious reasons. With Redacted, I was writing about adults as an adult and that’s all it took to break down the restricted feeling I had before. 
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bloodboundsiege · 7 months
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project update/where i've been/other stuff
Hey everyone! I know it's been a loooooooong time since I posted anything or gave any updates, but since I just updated the demo with some bug fixes--you can go here or to the pinned post on my page to download the new patch if you want to take the demo out for another spin--, I figured it was as good a time as any to talk about what's been going on.
This is probably going to turn into a long post, so if you don't want to read all of that, here's the tl;dr: Bloodbound: The Siege is still underway, I just was going through a really difficult period. Thank you all for your support of me and your continued enthusiasm for this project. It doesn't go unnoticed, and I'm really thankful for it.
Where I've Been
You know how sometimes someone will take forever to post an update to their fic and then the author's note will be like hey, sorry it took me so long to upload a new chapter, I was kidnapped? This is nothing like that. It's a lot less juicy, but I figured I'd still talk about it.
When I first started working on this visual novel, I was doing some freelance social media work, living with my family, and had a ton of free time on my hands. I would literally wake up every day and sit at my desk for 9+ hours a day, working on this project, making music, or writing screenplays.
At the end of last summer, I moved across the country, started grad school, and started working a pretty demanding job to support myself. It was also the first time since 2020 that I was doing any kind of significant socializing, and I was still working on this project, along with my other endeavors.
I felt like I was killing it. It didn't matter that wasn't getting a lot of sleep or really taking care of myself. I was somehow doing everything I wanted to do and needed to do.
And then...it caught up with me, right around when I released the demo for BBTS. I was having panic attacks at work, barely making deadlines for school, and it would take me half the day to work up the energy to get out of bed. It felt like I could do was sit in my room, watch Netflix, and doomscroll. Everything else was left to the wayside. Even though I was able to finish out my spring semester with good grades and left my job on good terms, I was hanging by the skin of my teeth. I also had some really messy stuff going on in my personal life that exacerbated these issues.
I had to spend this summer trying to rebuild myself and find a balance again. I'm in a much better place now--I started working out, which has been great for my anxiety, I quit vaping, I'm starting to be more conscious about what I put in my body and how it affects me, but I had to prioritize myself and my well being in order to get to this place.
As a side note, the experience of announcing this project and releasing this demo has been...strange. I put a lot of work into this project, from teaching myself how to code to writing the story, and this is the most visible thing I've ever put out. I was hoping maybe fifty people would play this demo and be like cool, but it's a much higher number, and a lot more feedback.
And that's both really cool and really scary. Cool because it's awesome that people appreciate something I created. Scary because now I want to make it good. I don't want to disappoint you all.
A Brief Tangent On How People Interact With Fandom Creators Sometimes
Even though I'm not always super active/interactive on here, I really enjoy getting asks about the project, whether it's hype, an inquiry, or feedback. Even if it's negative feedback, I know that it's coming from a good place. I also am really appreciative of messages that are either letting me know about bugs, or expressing any concerns about the story I am planning to tell. I don't take those kinds of things personally at all.
But I have noticed--and this is not just exclusive to the Choices fandom--that sometimes, people will interact with fic writers, fan devs, or really anyone that makes any kind of ContentTM in a way that isn't any of the aforementioned things I described above. Sometimes, the way that people interact with me--or other creators--is demanding, passive aggressive, or outright hostile. Other times, it may be well-intentioned, but it still feels like it's crossing some boundaries.
I'm extremely thankful to everyone who has reached out to check on me, but there's a huge difference between doing that and accusing me of abandoning this project and framing it as a deep moral failing on my part. I know I'm not the only person in this fandom that's experienced this. It really doesn't feel good, and it isn't helpful. Even if I had just decided I was no longer feeling BBTS and decided to dip, that isn't okay.
I additionally ask that in the event of another pause in posting on this project, people not reach out to me on my personal tumblr to ask about the status of this project, or to tell me to check my DMs or inbox on this page, or anything of that sort. To my recollection, I have never posted the URL my personal tumblr on this page. Like I said before, I'm appreciative of the fact that people are passionate about this project, but it's important to me to be able to keep this space and that space separate from one another.
I would absolutely understand any of this kind of behavior if there was money involved. If I had investors to answer to, or people pre-ordered the completed game from me and paid up front, people would absolutely be within their right to be frustrated with the radio silence that's been coming from my end and reach out to ask about the status of the game, or even be upset with me. But that isn't what's happening here.
This project is supposed to be fun. There's something really liberating about the fact that I can't ever monetize this or put it into a portfolio. It means it's for me and for you. We're all just supposed to be here because we like being here.
But part of the reason why the burnout and the anxiety I was experiencing spilled over into this project was because of these more pushy interactions. It made me feel like I was letting people down, or like the stakes of this were higher than they actually are.
I don't want to sound ungrateful, or like a diva. Like I said, I'm really appreciative of the reception of this project, and I'm grateful for any and all feedback, inquiries, or curiosities. But I just ask that everyone be respectful, and I don't think that's an unreasonable request. We'll all have a good time--both here and in the larger Choices fandom--if we're kind to one another, and if we're respectful of each other's boundaries.
Is Bloodbound: The Siege Still Happening?
Bloodbound: The Siege is still happening, but it is not going to be coming out this year, unless I somehow gain the ability to freeze time. Most of the sprite work is done--though I might do another round of retrofitting sprites into their respective dialogue boxes because I'm a glutton for punishment--and I'm pretty close to completing the more detailed outline of this story.
While I'm not ready to do this yet, it is extremely likely that by the end of the year, I'll start seeking out additional help for this project, mostly with programming. There will be a more detailed post about that when the time comes.
Until then, it's good to be back. Catch you on the flipside.
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