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just-jordie-things · 3 months

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cherry blossom - inumaki toge

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ 10k follower event special! ✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

word count: 9.3k warnings: shibuya mentions, toge says some words bc i'm not god ok, drinking summary: you've always had all the time in the world to figure out what you were to each other. falling in love is meant to be slow and sweet, after all. more info: friends to lovers, fluff without plot really (yeah i'm making that a thing)

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[ what you don’t tell no one, you can tell me // little ghost, tall, tan like milk and honey // you’re very brave, and very free ]

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Inumaki Toge was very close with all of his friends. He cherished them in ways he could only dream of vocalizing. Instead, with his cursed speech, he was limited to smaller forms of appreciation to show them how he cared. Remembering Yuuta’s favorite drink, punching Maki on the shoulder to tell her she did a great job, passing notes with Panda to pull off a silly prank- his love language was an odd one for sure, but it never went unnoticed. His friends cared for him just as much.

(y/n) was different, though.

It was no secret to the others- if it had been, it would’ve been a terribly kept one- even without the ability to voice it, it would have been useless to try. There was no denying the way that he treated her, the way he looked at her, it was unlike all the others. If she was speaking, his attention was on her, even in a crowded room, even if someone was talking over her, Toge listened to every word, actively engaged in whatever the topic was.

He always sat next to her, always picked her as a training partner, always reached out to her first when making a plan, she lived on the front of his mind rent free, and Toge was more than content to let her.

“Funny, or sad?” She asks him now, drawing him out of his dreamy thoughts and bringing him back to reality. She’s perched at the end of his bed, two dvd cases in either hand presented to him. His gaze shifts between the two as he mulls it over.

If he chooses funny, then he’ll get to hear her giggles for the next two hours, followed by her pretty voice repeating all her favorite lines to send her into fits of laughter again. He likes that option.

But the other movie in her hand is a favorite of hers. He wouldn’t describe it as sad as she had, but the uplifting message did tug at the heartstrings, and he’s caught her crying over it multiple times in the few years he’s known her. So he gestures to that one, reveling in the way she lights up before she’s getting off the bed in order to get his dvd player setup.

It was actually her dvd player, Toge was more of a Netflix guy, but with her collection of movies and the frequency at which she hauled it all over to his room, they’d silently decided to just leave it in his room. Sure, it might have been easier for them to have movie nights in her room where she didn’t have to unplug the Xbox every time to watch a movie, but Toge would never suggest such a thing, and she’s never brought it up either. He likes having some of her things in his room.

For a little while, it could help him feel like they were living a more domestic, normalized life. Sometimes, he would set up her movies from that week on his shelf in alphabetical order, or fold up the blanket she’d left behind, and he could pretend that things were… different.

“I’ll have to add a box of tissues to the pile” She says, eyeing the plastic bag of snacks that the two of them had just gone out for.

It was routine at this point, rush out to the convenience store, buy more snacks than they agreed on, and then rush back to campus to get the movie started before it was too late. These were his favorite days.

With her back turned as she got the dvd player plugged in, Toge clicked his tongue to get her attention. She glances back at him right away, her curious look blooming into a full, beautiful smile as he raises a little plastic package of tissues, wiggling it in the air happily.

“You’re perfect!” She laughs to herself before going back to the console, placing the disk inside with an eager little dance.

Toge thinks it’s adorable that she’s so excited to watch a movie that will make her cry. He could be biased though- he thinks everything she does is adorable.

Once the movie starts, she’s quick to jump back onto the bed, crawling up into the space beside him, snatching up the back of treats on the way. Toge watches her, it’s only the opening credits playing anyways, it’s not like he was missing anything yet. (y/n) catches his eye, raising a brow as she tilts the bag towards him.

There’s not exactly a way for him to tell her that his staring was just because he liked when she didn’t tuck her hair back and it fell in that messy way it did, not because he was waiting for his turn with the snack bag. So he gives her a lopsided smile and takes the offering.

“If you open the chips I want some” (y/n) hums, her eyes already back on the screen as the movie begins. Toge chuckles, pulling out the green bag of sour cream and onion flavored chips, even though he’d been eyeing the package of chocolate chip cookies.

(y/n) turns to him again, this time with a mock pout on her lips.

“Are you laughing at me?”

It makes him laugh a little more, even as he’s shaking his head to convince her otherwise. He opens the bag of chips and tilts it towards her as a peace offering. She gladly accepts it, her frown melting back into her syrupy smile as she snatches a few chips and settles in again to watch the movie.

As expected, she’s tearing up before anything’s really happened yet. Toge knows she’s already thinking about the real tear-jerking moments later on. Her emotions sometimes overwhelmed her- not just when watching heartwarming movies, but with handling the everyday things that came with the life of a jujutsu sorcerer. It was hard when one of her closest friends was sent away on long assignments overseas, it was hard when there were casualties on assignments, it was hard training every day and trying to be better, all the while doubting herself and her abilities.

There were some times that she’d come by and they wouldn’t lounge around watching movies. Sometimes she’d visit him just to sit quietly and take in the comfort of his presence. Toge never minded these days. He was just relieved that there was some way he could help her feel better- although he didn’t always understand what it was that worked. It’s not like he could talk her down from the bad feelings, all he really did was sit there, maybe hold her hand if she needed, often listening to whatever was on her mind.

“He’s the one that makes me think of you” (y/n) points to the screen when a new character pops up. A teenager, with shaggy, jet black hair, and a perpetual frown on his face as he’s on screen.

Toge mirrors the frown, turning to (y/n) with furrowed brows as he awaited a proper explanation. She only giggles to herself as she continues munching on her snack, not bothering to explain how a character who looks and behaves nothing like him could possibly have her making a connection between the two.

He started to wonder if it was time to change his hair again, but as the movie progressed, he began to understand. The kid had taken a vow of silence, and hadn’t spoken a word the entire movie. Yet somehow, his thoughts and feelings were portrayed perfectly. As the viewer, Toge was never left wondering what was going through his head. Admittedly, he grew attached to this character quickly, and he found his focus latching onto the plot now with fervor.

Noticing this, (y/n) smiled to herself as she tucked herself further into the pile of pillows behind her. It always warmed her heart to see him take interest in the things she liked. Maybe even too much.

It’s mostly quiet between them as the movie continues, they don’t like to talk too much during movies, only comments deemed important enough to share before the end, or the ask to pass the snacks. They usually would have a discussion at the end anyways, sharing all of their thoughts and favorite parts with one another.

Soon enough the couple hours passed, the snacks were mostly deplenished, and (y/n) was half asleep, eagerly asking him how he liked the movie despite the tears in her eyes that she was still wiping away with the half-used supply of tissues.

He nods back at her, chuckling softly at the sight of her still being so teary eyed when the movie had ended ten minutes ago. Her lip is still wobbly and even as she folds and re-folds the tissue to keep wiping away the trail of tears.

Toge maneuvers onto his side, facing her with a small smile before taking the tissue from her hands.

“Mustard leaf” He says quietly, before reaching back out and drying up the trail of tears that she’d missed, down her cheek, and then along her jaw. She sniffles between a watery giggle.

“Thank you,” Her voice cracks, and she laughs quietly again. “That movie is just too much sometimes,” She explains, and Toge hums in understanding. This wasn’t nearly as bad when they watched Wall-E. “But I love it, what did you think?”

“Salmon roe” He replies with a larger beam, which she mirrors right away, before her head feels a little heavier on his pillow.

“Okay, good,” She murmurs before a yawn overtakes her, and Toge’s eyes widen in realization when she tucks the blanket over her shoulders. She’s going to fall asleep. He starts to move to shake her awake, one hand curling around her shoulder and tugging slightly, but she doesn’t respond to his silent pleas telling her to get up. “I’m really glad you liked it, you can pick the movie next time though”

Toge huffs when she shuts her eyes and nuzzles into the pillow again. It’s no use. She’s already drifting off right in front of him.

“Bonito flakes” He mutters.

“It’s alright,” (y/n) yawns again. “Just wake me up in, like, twenty minutes and I’ll go back to my room so we don’t get in trouble”

Toge already knows how that’s going to go, but she’s out like a light mere seconds later. He hasn’t seen anyone fall asleep so quickly.

With another sigh, he turns off the tv and places the remainder of the tissue package on his nightstand along with the remote. It doesn’t take him long to fall asleep on his back beside her, even when his brain is working overtime trying not to hyperfixate on her leg pressed against his, or her soft breaths fanning over his shoulder as she sleeps.

His dreams are pleasant, with soft swirls of warm colors, sweet sensations of gentle touches and the lingering scent of cherries and vanilla, melodious giggles and whispers made of but sugar coated words. The kind of dreams that you wake up from and wish there were just a few more minutes to latch onto the remnants of the hazy feeling.

As expected, (y/n’s) still there when he wakes up the following morning- not that he’d tried all too hard to send her back to her own room last night. He just couldn’t bear to disrupt her peaceful sleep beyond a few whispers of her name and pokes to her forehead.

She’s awake not long after him, but she settles back into the covers, murmuring a raspy good morning to him. SHe doesn’t seem startled by the surprise sleepover in the slightest, and the nerves Toge had let fester the last ten minutes of sitting awake and waiting for her to wake up.

There were still a few minutes of her being in and out of sleep, but after a while she’s stretching and getting herself out of bed with the promise of grabbing them both pop tarts before they had to start training for the day.

Toge perks up at the prospect of pop tarts, and she giggles at his obvious change in demeanor, before telling him she’ll be quick, and taking off from his room.

He knows he should be rushing around to get ready for the day, but he can’t bring himself to get up from the bed just yet. It’s too warm, too comfortable, too alluring with the lingering scent of cherry vanilla still clinging to the sheets.

His heart feels full as he settles back in for just a few more minutes.

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(y/n) felt love for all of her friends. She always sort of had, it developed not long after meeting each and every one of them. She loved Maki’s ambition, Panda’s humor, Yuuta’s passion, each and every one of them were simultaneously the greatest person she’s ever known. Her friends were her livelihood, her reason for fighting, her reason for trying, she doesn’t think she’d ever be able to repay them for what they’ve done for her. The love she held for them was the purest kind there was.

The love she held for Inumaki Toge was different, though.

She loved Toge the way she loved late spring, with the way the pretty pink cherry blossoms begin to bloom, and the cool breeze turns warm, and suddenly everything doesn’t seem so gloomy and bitter all the time. The sun seems to shine a little brighter and everyone seems to feel a little brighter, too. It was exactly how loving Toge felt.

It was no secret to the others- if it had been, it would’ve been a terribly kept one, seeing as she could barely unglue herself from his side at any time. If he entered a room, she would rush towards him. If he came back from an assignment with an injury- no matter if it was life threatening or just a paper thin slice, she was patching him up with the utmost care Shoko’s infirmary could offer. If Toge wasn’t around, she was texting him everything that was going on to keep him in touch.

There was nothing that brought her peace and joy quite like being around Toge.

She giggles as she tips her cup against her lips, sipping at the remnants of the drink she’d made only fifteen minutes ago. Yuuta was sure to scold her when she wandered her way into the kitchen for the third time in an hour.

Toge’s laughter follows shortly after hers, although he’s not sure what exactly they’re giggling about, he just can’t help himself once she gets going.

His brows pinch together when he shakes his head, trying to ask her what it is that made her giggle fit erupt in the first place. Once she’s calmed down enough to realize this, she grabs him by the shoulder.

At first his expression morphs into surprise, his eyes wide as he stares at her closely, before she’s swiveling him suddenly, guiding his eyes to the sight that was cracking her up.

Panda was in the common room, clearly feeling himself as he danced about, all slow twirls and raised arms. He looks positively ethereal- in that loaded sort of way.

He’s quick to pull out his phone, setting his cup down to use both hands to steady the camera on Panda’s drunken ballet- or, attempt at ballet. (y/n’s) giggling from beside him would definitely be caught in the video later, but neither of them minded, it only added to the humor of it all.

Maki must’ve noticed what they were up to, as she sneakily made her way over to the pill-shaped speaker, where she turned the volume up a few more notches. This only excited Panda, who picked up the pace in his dancing. (y/n) has to smack a hand over her mouth to stifle the cackle that erupts from her throat, but Toge doesn’t match her haste, and his laughter is almost louder than the music itself.

With a gentle smack to his shoulder, (y/n) shoots him a warning look, silently telling him to quiet down before Panda notices their recording.

Of course, Panda’s already noticed, his paws on his hips as he gawks at his so-called friends who were just making fun of him with their less than subtle camera pointed in his direction.

“Laugh it up, at least I’m having fun!” He points an accusatory finger at the two before turning his chin up with a dramatic flair. Toge rolls his eyes, and just as he’s about to end the video, (y/n’s) face pops up on the camera.

“He’s right!” She says, a bit too loudly for standing right in front of him, but drinking always raised her volume. She’s setting her cup down then, before reaching her free hand out to Toge, tugging on his wrist and disrupting the video that was still being recorded. “We should dance!”

“Mustard leaf!?” He replies, and she laughs, knowing it was his way of repeating ‘dance!?’ With uncertainty and surprise.

Her cheeks are pink, and he can’t make out if it’s because of the alcohol in her system, or if it was the brazen invitation of asking him to dance. He’s not given much time to decipher it’s cause before she’s pulling harder at his wrist, and without another moment’s hesitation, Toge pockets his phone and follows her silent plea. Distantly, he realizes she’s never had to work too hard to convince him of anything.

Maybe that was why they were all up far too late drinking together and dancing when they knew damn well that they had training bright and early tomorrow.

Panda’s cheering when (y/n’s) managed to drag Toge all the way into the common room where the music is playing the loudest. He’s already resumed his twirling as if Fleetwood Mac is playing and not Joan Jett, but he’s enjoying himself, and no one is about to ruin his fun… again.

Toge’s never really danced before, besides the occasional sway from side to side, or a head bop. So as soon as she starts swinging her hips and dragging his arm back and forth where she’s still got a grip on his wrist, he goes as stiff as a board.

It doesn’t take long before it dawns on her that he hasn’t been dancing, and she frowns at him, pulling at his arm to get him to come closer so she could talk to him.

“Why won’t you dance with me?” She asks, and it breaks his heart so completely that he can’t hide the way his face falls at her question. (y/n) brightens up immediately, a string of bubbly laughter falling from her lips as she shakes her head. “It’s not hard, just, move,” She says, shuffling her feet from side to side, her hips following in a languid motion. “See?”

He rolls his eyes at her, and she smacks his shoulder with her free hand, her semi-aggressive way of telling him he was making it a bigger deal than necessary, before both of her hands grab at his, and she guides him through the motions more properly.

The song that’s playing is upbeat, so she finds it easy to wave their arms together to the melody, while her hips keep the beat of the bass line. After a few jolty movements on his part, he eventually begins to mirror, and just as she thought, he gets the hang of it and doesn’t look so awkward dancing with her.

(y/n) can’t wipe her grin off her face as she continues to move their hands about in sporadic motions, sometimes to the beat, sometimes at random. Toge just latches his hands onto hers and lets her do whatever she pleases.

She’s never had to talk him into doing anything, he was always following her, whatever she was doing.

“See? It’s fun!” She’s the image of gleeful, twirling herself under one of his arms before prompting him to do the same.

Toge manages a few ‘salmon’s between her antics, before she starts to get more energetic with the beginning of the next song. She claims it’s a classic 2000’s dance beat, and that it would be criminal if they didn’t dance through it, too.

Of course that turned into a third dance, then a fourth, and along with them a few more drinks. They lose track of time, and eventually the rest of the world seems to fall away, too. It’s a Wednesday night- well, early Thursday morning now- but all responsibilities that the day will hold is far from their minds. It’s hard to notice that their friends have even started to wind down. Panda had collapsed on the floor with a pile of empty water bottles surrounding him, currently chugging down another one. Maki was scrolling through her phone nursing her own water, physically present, but too tired to engage in any more activities tonight.

And (y/n) and Toge were dancing around, jumping on their feet and twirling each other about like the night was still young and they had all the energy in the world. Until eventually, Maki had given up on adding anything to the queue, and random songs they’d never heard of were playing, (y/n) still insisted that he stay up with her and keep dancing until they couldn’t anymore.

That was, until Maki retreated to her room for the night, and with her went the music. (y/n) tried her best to plead with her to stay, but unfortunately Maki wasn’t as suggestable to her puppy dog eyes as Toge was.

“(y/n), listen to me closely,” Maki said in an uncharacteristically sweet voice, even going so far as to run a hand through her drunk friend’s hair. Thinking that she was going to stay at the ‘party’- if it could still be called that- (y/n) gleamed up at her with a syrupy smile and heavy eyelids. “Get some water, and get to bed”

(y/n) deflated immediately.

“Makiiii~” She whined, and made another noise of dissatisfaction when she lost the physical affection, too.

“No buts!” Maki quips as she walks away with her phone and powered down speaker in hand. “Toge, if you keep her up, then you’re dealing with the consequences tomorrow!” Maki barks at the other culprit to (y/n’s) deluded party-mode state.

“Salmon!” He hollers back, bringing his hand to his forehead in an all too serious salute. It brings out a load of giggles from (y/n) that has Maki sending one last warning glare at the two before she finally leaves.

Yeah, she absolutely wasn’t dealing with that mess in the mornings.

“She doesn’t hate us,” (y/n) sighs out to Toge, unprovoked, but he can tell she’s completely serious by the way she stares up at him. “She’s just grumpy she has to get up in the morning”

Toge raises his eyebrows with slight concern, before twirling his finger around in a short circle between them.

(y/n’s) jaw drops as she gapes at him.

“I know we do too,” She argues. “But it’ll be fine, I’m used to waking up early”

He gives her a look, but she doesn’t relent in her stare. So he pulls his phone out to show her the time.

2:48 A.M.

But her eyes barely register the hour, instead she’s glued to the wallpaper on his lockscreen, and she’s lighting back up with energy as she reaches for his phone and snatches it before he could react.

It was ridiculous how she maintained her speed and strength even when intoxicated. Toge wondered if it was safe for jujutsu sorcerers to drink this heavily.

“Is this us?” She asks, even though she was currently admiring the photo of the two of them on his lockscreen.

Toge’s quick to zip up his collar in order to hide the heat flushing his cheeks.

“This is so cute!” She delights in the image, cradling his phone in both hands as though to preserve it with great care.

The picture isn’t even new to her, and she’d been the one to take it. A few months ago she’d tried her hand at baking, and had been quite eager to bring a cinnamon cake to a hangout with the rest of their friends. She might’ve promised it before she was certain of her baking abilities, and had required Toge’s help not long into the process. As happy as he was to aid her in her new hobby, he couldn’t help but find humor in just how helpless she seemed to be in the kitchen at first. She hardly even knew her way around the cabinets. Hours later the cake had turned out just fine- their friends had even gone for seconds- but not without it’s difficulties.

Toge had snapped the photo when the cake had just been put into the oven, before they began the tedious cleanup process. She had flour in her hair and some stuck to her cheek. It was a good thing she’d chosen to wear an apron because it was covered in the various ingredients they’d used. But despite the messy state of herself and the kitchen in the background, she was grinning from ear to ear, clearly excited to see the results of her cake soon. Toge’s mirroring the smile, although there’s not a speck on him. After the whole process, he’d managed to keep himself completely clean.

“I didn’t know you made this your wallpaper, that’s really sweet,” She’s handing him his phone back after the torturous few seconds are over, and Toge slips it into his pocket quickly. His blush might’ve been hidden by the collar of his jacket, but it was still made obvious by his shifting eyes that couldn’t quite meet hers.

“That was a really fun day actually, we should bake something together again sometime!” She lights up, and he can tell that she’s already trying to think of something to go make right now. It’s clear she’s already forgotten the time- or maybe she just didn’t care that much. “We could-”

“Tuna tuna” Toge gives her a look, before tapping the back of his wrist a few times, hoping to remind her of the task at hand.

It was no wonder Maki rushed off to her own dorm.

(y/n) huffed in annoyance, but ultimately followed alongside him as he tried ushering her out of the common room and towards the dorms. She stumbled along and tried to slow him down, came up with a few more mumbled excuses to stay up later, all of which were met by quiet chuckles and reminders of ‘tuna’.

It took some ping-ponging down the halls, but eventually he got her to her room, and even though the night was over, she seemed rather pleased to be back in her own room.

“Spicy cod roe” Toge barely mumbles the words out as he’s gesturing about her room to her, before raising his hand to his mouth to mimic drinking a cup of water.

She smiles back at him in perfect understanding before she gives him a nod of her head.

Her movements are lazy as she strolls about the room to get changed into something she can sleep in. Her coordination was less than subpar compared to her usual level of functioning, but that wouldn’t be a problem for another few hours.

It’s not long before there’s a knock on her door, and she’s opening it with the brightness of a christmas tree when Toge is on the other side with two bottles of water.

Wordlessly, she invites him in by stepping aside and pulling the door open further. Toge passes off one of the bottles to her as he does so.

“Are you staying?” She asked, nodding to the bottle still in his hand. “We can watch a movie?” She offers hopefully.

It’s a little past three in the morning now. He tries to give her a look to reminder of this, but she doesn’t seem to care when she sticks her bottom lip out and folds her hands together in a pleading motion.

He sighs, and she brightens up again. It’s almost comical how small but sweet of a smile could have him agreeing to anything. It’s almost as if she’s the one with a cursed technique designed to compel, and not him.

While glancing through the array of dvds on her shelves, Toge wonders what things would be like if the roles had been reversed. If he was the one able to tell her his every thought and feeling as they pass. He wonders if she would have known how he felt about her a long, long time ago.

He’d dealt with his cursed speech in the best way that he could. Of course he didn’t love it, of course things would be easier if he could talk like anyone else, he could gamble a good ninety percent of his life would’ve gone smoother. No more stupid rice ball ingredients, and no more hoping that just a look would be enough to communicate to the girl he loves that he loves her. That he purely, wholly, desperately loves her.

He picks out a dvd and pops it into her player- she’d dragged it back into her room last week after waking him up in the middle of the night because she was in the mood to watch one of her favorites. Once the opening credit scenes start to roll, he finds that she’s already cozied up on one side of the bed, her blanket tucked to her chin, and her water bottle cradled in both of her hands. She smiles when he turns to her, and then pats the space beside her, waiting patiently for him to sit with her.

He lets out a sigh as he sinks into the mattress beside her. He taps his wrist twice before raising his hand and pinching his thumb and forefinger together, an easy way to gesture just for a little bit.

“Okay,” (y/n) nods, then takes the edge of her blanket to throw it over his lap too. “Just for a little bit” Her voice is merely a hum, words slurred together just a little bit, but there’s not a flicker of uncertainty in her features when she gazes upon him.

It’s only a few minutes into the movie when she slumps against him, the entire side of her body pressed into his, from their shoulders to their legs. Toge chuckles as she begins to give in to her exhaustion, and as sweet as it was that she got cuddly when she was drunk and sleepy, he prayed she’d pass out soon so that the morning wouldn’t be so rough. They were well past getting a full eight hours before training tomorrow, and dealing with Gojo alone would be a burden. Not because he would go rough on them- but because as soon as he sniffed out a little bit of a hangover, he’d be relentless with his teasing.

(And he might tack on a few extra laps on the track as minor punishment. Normally no big deal. But when you’re fighting off puking your guts out?)

Toge makes a mental note to have aspirin and a heavy meal ready first thing in the mornings so she could get it all out of her system as quickly as possible. One measly water bottle tonight just wouldn’t cut it.

When her head hits his shoulder in a soft thump, he looks down at her, checking to see if she’s finally fallen asleep. To his surprise, she tilts her head back in order to meet his gaze. Pink dusts over her cheeks and the corners of her mouth tilt upwards, no doubt a reaction from the alcohol in her system and their close proximity.

“You think I could get out of training with a sick day tomorrow?” She murmurs, earning a wince from Toge. She didn’t need words to understand what that meant. “You’re right,” She sighs, briefly turning her attention back to the movie. “Gojo’s gonna fry me”

This time he chuckles, and she glances back at him again.

“Mustard leaf…”

A small giggle escapes her as well, her eyes crinkling despite knowing the fate she would face come tomorrow.

“Maybe I’ll just fess up straight away,” She thinks aloud. “If I cry a bit, he might take pity on me, I dunno,”

Toge struggles to hold eye contact with her, not because the movie was just so enticing he could barely pay attention to her, but quite the opposite. With her cuddled up against his side and whispering so softly right into his ear he could hardly focus on anything other than her. To his knowledge, the rest of the world was completely wiped away. It was an ability she’d somehow mastered unknowingly, making him forget that there was anything else going on around them when the two of them were together.

His heart was pounding so hard in his chest he was sure she must notice, with how close she is, she could probably feel it, but if she does, she doesn’t say a thing.

“Or you could tell him I died,” She adds suddenly, and Toge snorts out a laugh, making her giggle again.

His eyes finally hold contact with hers for longer than a passing second, and she seems to melt further against him. She doesn’t feel heavy against his shoulder, but she might as well be an anchor keeping him trapped in place.

Yeah, there’s not a chance he’ll only be here for a little bit.

“You’d cover for me, right?” She asks, and it’s only meant to be a tease, but Toge raises his free arm that wasn’t being leaned on by hers, and crosses his finger over his heart. “Wow,” (y/n) gushes in her surprise, eyebrows raised and lips curling into a wider smile. She’s so beautiful to him at this moment that he now hopes he’ll be the one to pass out before he does something stupid. “Cross your heart and hope to die, huh?” She muses. “That’s pretty serious”

He scoffs again, barely rolling his eyes, but his attention is drawn back to her again when she shifts around to lay on her side. She’s still very much cuddled up to him, and he can tell she makes an effort to stay that way as she gets comfortable in a new position. She even hooks her ankle over his, a silent ask for him to stay longer. Her cheek leans back into his shoulder soon enough, and he knows he should be leaving when she starts to bat her eyelashes, but even as a Grade Two sorcerer he doesn’t have the strength to do so.

“Can I ask you a real question?”

Everyone’s least favorite question of all time.

Toge affirms with a nod of his head, barely managing a smile to assure her.

“Does it get old?” Her voice grows even softer. “Listening to me talk all the time?”

He shakes his head just as quickly, the smile disappearing as a knot forms between his pinched brows. She gives him a wobbly smile, feeling a bit endeared by how quickly he tried to tell her otherwise.

“Really?” She asks, still a bit unsure. “Sometimes I try to shut my mouth, I… I don’t want to make you feel like you’re stuck listening to me all the time, but, uh, I can’t help it sometimes. I… really like talking to you” She’s rambling before she knows it- and then blushing at the irony of it all.

His smile returned then, stretching wide until his teeth were showing, and he was laughing quietly at her. Not to be malicious, of course, he was simply amused and absolutely lovestruck by the sweet admission. Toge reached out, affectionately touching the pad of his thumb to her chin, before he shifted around to get his phone out of his pocket.

This didn’t call for rice ball ingredients, or small gestures to convey what he was thinking. He’d need to communicate properly to her with how much he’d have to say.

(y/n) watched on as he opened his notes app and began to type.

it could never get old. i like listening to you talk :)

It makes her heart stutter in her chest, but she can’t help the giggle that escapes her when he adds a little emoji, too. Toge spaces down to a new line before typing more.

does it get old that i can’t talk with you the same way?

He watches as her eyes scan over the screen quickly, before she turns to him and shakes her head.

“Of course not,” She tells him right away. “I- I think we understand each other just fine… don’t we?”

It dawns on her that they’ve never really talked about this before. Even when they first met, it was like she was told he had cursed speech and she took it upon herself to learn how he communicated as quickly as possible. Perhaps all that time she spent around him those first few months after her enrollment were what led to their closeness now. Saying she was headstrong in being able to understand him would have been an understatement. She had constantly been picking up on the subtleties between his rice ball ingredients, or paying attention to every hand movement or direction of his gaze to know what he was talking about.

And it was a very, very rare case when she couldn’t understand him. Toge could hardly recall a time it had happened.

He sets his phone down on his lap, nodding his head back at her as his eyes shifted between hers. Her lashes hung heavy, eyelids almost falling shut with every blink, but she wasn’t giving into sleep just yet.

She mirrors his nod with a short one of her own, her eyes filled with an emotion he can’t say he’s ever seen in her before. He studies it curiously, forgetting any sense of embarrassment from staring at her so blatantly… but then again, she wasn’t exactly shying away either. Was it the alcohol?

“Toge,” His name falls from her lips in a mere breath, so small her mouth hardly moves, so quiet it almost doesn’t grace his ears. “I… I hope you know you can tell me anything… anytime…”

It’s such a sweet admission that he can’t help but reach out to her again, his thumb touching her chin in the way he usually does when he’s teasing her, but now it feels… different. His touch lingers, and the look in his eyes feels heavier than she’s used to. She’s flustering suddenly, her heartbeat picking up in pace, her face feeling even hotter the longer she holds his stare. After another prolonged minute of his touch to her face, she finds herself reaching up for his hand, cupping the back of it and holding it there for just a few moments longer.

And then comes a delicate, carefully worded whisper on his part.

“I know”

He pauses for a few seconds after he says it, just to be sure there were no lasting effects left on her. Just as he expected, those words didn’t seem to hold any cursed energy, and she didn’t seem paralyzed or compelled in the slightest. She simply smiles back at him, her eyelashes batting a few more times.

“Okay, good,” She murmurs, before tucking herself closer to him, nuzzling her head into his chest to get comfortable.

She’s long forgotten the movie that was playing, and honestly, so had he. Toge knows now it’s only a matter of minutes before she’s finally knocked out. With a yawn, she finally drops her hand from his, but Toge opts to leave it in it’s place, carefully cradled under her jaw, his thumb swiping over her cheekbone in slow and lazy movements.

“Just stay the night, ‘kay?” She mumbles into his shirt, throwing her free arm over his waist. “If someone notices, I’ll take the blame,” She says, and then quickly adds, “But no one will”

His chest vibrates beneath her when he chuckles, and she merely smiled to herself as sleep finally overcomes her.

Toge hesitates on moving to turn off the tv. Any one wrong move and he’d risk waking her, and he certainly didn’t want to do that. So with drawn out movements, he carefully gets the tv turned off, and places the remote on the nightstand.

(y/n) doesn’t wake up, to his luck, she doesn’t even stir. She’s sound asleep, dead weight like a rock on top of him. But a welcome rock she was.

He didn’t even mind having to sleep in a half seated position, or the fact that the arm she’s laying on is starting to prickle with pins and needles. None of it matters when he can faintly feel her heart beating against his chest, right beside his.

Toge only got a hair of sleep that night, but even during the rough training session the following morning, all he could think about was how soft her hair felt when he’d run his hand through it.

If what came after falling in love was a crash landing, he was definitely nearing the ground.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

When he first comes to, all Toge can barely make out is the dim light above him. His mind is hazy, a swarm of disconnected thoughts like ‘where am I?’ and ‘why are the lights so dim in Shoko’s infirmary?’. Nothing really makes sense until the haze begins to clear.

The next sense to come back was his hearing, and he wished it had taken a little longer because it wasn’t pleasant.

At first it’s just a sharp ringing, distant at first, like someone blowing a whistle far away from here. But it didn’t take long for it to grow nearer and nearer, until eventually it was right in front of him, breaking through to let him take in the other sounds around him.

Whimpering. Soft weeping, maybe. Quiet, like the owner of the quiet cries, was trying not to wake him.

Then it was sniffling, also quiet and contained. So faint he could just barely make it out, but paired with the cries, it wasn’t hard to understand what was going on.

He has to squeeze his eyes shut after the short exposure to the yellow light, but soon enough he’s forcing them open again. This time he’s greeted with the blurry silhouette of the crier.

“(y/n)-”

It’s no surprise his throat is so dry and raw that he feels blood pool on his tongue as soon as he rasps out her name, but it was enough to capture her attention, so he tries to ignore the pain for now.

A hushed “Ohmygod” is whispered under her breath so fast her lips barely move, before she’s a blurry mess of movements above him. His eyes can’t track everything, but he thinks her hands are shaking around his face from the tapping over her fingertips on his cheeks. “You’re- you’re awake?” She mumbles out, a hint of a whimper still trembling in her voice.

Just as he parts his lips to give her an affirmative response, her eyes widen, and her fingertips press further into his cheeks until he can feel the full length of her fingers against his skin. They’re still shaking, but her touch is warm.

“Wait, don’t say anything, I’m sure your throat’s a mess right now,” Even when she’s not sniffling over her words, they’re watery, just a little bit stuck in her throat. “But you’re- you’re awake,” She repeats, a smile briefly stretching on her lips, before it quickly falls back into that wobbly frown. His vision begins to focus when he settles it there, hoping it’ll disappear into another smile again.

Why was she such a wreck? She’d never cried over him before, and he’s been injured plenty of times, Toge couldn’t wrap his mind around it. It was making it harder to fight past the hazy state of waking up.

There were small, wet splashes against his face that startled him enough to change his focus, eyes suddenly moving his line of sight upwards, finding her eyes were in fact full of tears, and most of them were streaming down her face. He can’t say or do much, but concern is evident on his face.

“Are you in pain? Does anything hurt?” She wipes uselessly at the tears on her face when she speaks. The dry patches were just as quickly replaced by more streaks of tears.

Toge shakes his head, although it’s not a complete truth. His head is still spinning, the metallic taste of blood was burning the scratches in his throat, but most peculiar was the dull ache of his left arm. It wasn’t a sharp pain, or even enough to bring a tear to his eye, and yet the throbbing of it captured all of his attention. He couldn’t not think about it. Was it broken? Why hadn’t Shoko healed it? It never feels like this after her Reverse Cursed Technique…

“Okay,” (y/n) whimpers, sniffling before she speaks again. “Okay, that- that’s good, that’s good…” Her voice grows quiet, and Toge’s shaking his head at her again, trying to voice his confusion with this whole ordeal, trying to ask her what was wrong.

All he can do is twitch his right hand until she notices, and as soon as she turns her head, she picks his hand up in both of hers. She’s swift but gentle, cradling it as if his bones would shatter from a movement too rough. He tries to curl his fingers around hers, but it takes too much effort, so he goes to bring his other hand around hers as well.

A strained gasp escapes him when he lifts his left arm, his eyes shooting open from the pain and difficulty of the action, neck swiveling to see what was so wrong that he couldn’t do something so simple as to hold her hand and comfort her.

They’re both frozen when he finally looks at his left arm. Or, lack thereof.

(y/n’s) crying seems to cease completely as she holds her breath, and Toge’s chest is moving rapidly, but his inhales and exhales are nearly silent.

When he looks up at her again, she brings a hand to her mouth, stifling the sob that shakes her entire body as she begins to cry again, just as hard as she had when she’d found him.

“I’m- I’m sorry,” Is what she says first, it’s all that really comes to mind at first, she doesn’t know where to begin, how she’s supposed to explain it to him, what the gentle way of proceeding was.

She almost wished someone was here now, but there wasn’t. There was no one. Everyone was either missing, or had died in the aftermath, there was only the two of them. The world had shrunk down to leave just the two of them it seemed- and they weren’t allowed their peace.

“Shibuya- it’s- when I found you-” She tries, she really does, but so many words flood her mind at once that they get lodged in her throat, and she’s never really learned how to navigate this sort of thing before. This was always Gojo’s job, or Nanami’s…

With a deep breath, (y/n) straightens her posture as she’s kneeled beside Toge on the ground, and she gives his hand a small squeeze.

“Without a Reversed Curse Technique, I did the best that I could,” She says, a little bit more clearly, but not without a few hiccups. “The runes on the wrappings should keep it from getting infected, at the very least,”

Toge looks back at his left side again, taking in a long, good look at the missing space where the rest of his arm used to be. Then his gaze shifts upwards, where what’s left of his bicep is wrapped in perfect bindings. It appears every inch of the gauze is covered in neatly drawn runes.

How long had this taken her? How long had he been out?

“It’s been a couple of days,” She sighs, pushing a hand through her hair and slouching again. “It’s not… great, as you can see,” She adds, gesturing around them.

It’s only then that Toge’s really taken in their surroundings. They’re in a tent, that’s just big enough for the two of them. The shitty light his eyes had adjusted to was just a lantern tied around the center post.

“But it’s worked for now… I’ve been out a few times, there’s water, um, some food…” She trails off as she’s glancing around, already losing pace and barely keeping up with what she’s saying. What was she supposed to say? “I… I haven’t crossed paths with anyone else yet”

Toge’s hand twitches in hers, fingers flexing for a moment before he pulls it out of her hold. It’s slow and shaky when he brings his hand to her face, but he is able to make the reach. She leans closer to him so he wouldn’t have to stretch too much. Toge presses the entirety of his palm into her cheek, fingertips prodding at her hairline, thumb tracing against her cheekbone.

That wobbly smile returns when she presses her palm against the back of his hand. She’s still crying, but it seems a little more under control. He wonders if she’s even aware of the never ending tears, or if she’s grown used to it.

“Thank you”

A watery scoff of a laugh escapes her, and then she shakes her head at him.

“You shouldn’t be thanking me,” She mumbles, and his thumb begins to drag lower, across the hollow of her cheek, coming to the corner of her mouth.

He nods his head to make his argument, a furrow in his brows that tells her he’s serious, but she doesn’t seem to take him as such.

“We’re in the middle of nowhere,” She sniffles. “There’s barely any food, I’ve been in this ruined uniform for days, all of our friends are missing and the strongest sorcerer in the world is in the prison realm, you’re hurt, and it very well may be the end of the world-”

He has to drop his hand from her face in order to have the strength to push himself into a sitting position, but once he does he’s just as quick to bring it back.

She’s crying too much to keep adding to her list of everything that’s gone wrong in the last few days, but this time Toge tries to wipe the tears away as he shushes her softly. It takes a few minutes, but eventually the tears come to a stop, and Toge drops his hand again.

This time he makes a gesture to her. It’s drawn out, despite it being a simple one. He points his finger out, touching it to her collarbone, then his eyes meet hers again, and they’re tearing up again. He frowns. Then taps her shirt a few more times, trying to make his point clearer.

You’re still here.

He can only hope that more taps will make sense to her.

The corner of (y/n’s) lips tilt upwards, and he thinks with the amount of emotions flickering behind her eyes, that understanding is amongst them.

“I’m glad you’re here… with me,” She mumbles out. “I don’t know what I would’ve done….” The thought trails off with her words, and she turns her head away, chewing on the inside of her cheek. The exhale she lets out instead is slow, and shaky.

Toge lifts his hand to turn her chin back towards him, a frown on his face as his eyes meet hers.

Again, he points at her, but this time he presses the pad of his finger square against her chin, and then turns it towards himself, mirroring the touch to his own chin. A crease forms between her brows, and he repeats it- tapping her chin twice with a featherlight touch, and then his own.

We’re both still here.

Weakly, another smile graced her lips. She understood.

“Whatever is next, we take on together… yeah?” She asks him, her voice hushed, a certain anxiety filling her chest with a crawling feeling, but Toge’s response couldn’t have eased it away faster.

He nods, leaning in closer, bringing his hand back to her cheek so he could tilt her head downward just the slightest, enough for him to brush his lips over her forehead in a light kiss. So light if she wasn’t staring at him with wide eyes, she might’ve missed it altogether.

Like a deer caught in headlights, she holds her stare even once Toge’s pulled away. Her parted lips holding no definitive emotion, he’s not exactly sure what she’s thinking when she stares at him like that, but he doesn’t feel any regret from the action. They were all they had now, and there might not be any amount of comfort to delude them into thinking things were going to turn out perfectly fine, but they could certainly try. Perhaps they could go just a few minutes at a time feeling some relief.

They weren’t alone. And despite it all, they were alive. At this moment anyways, Toge couldn’t ask for more.

With the backs of her hands, (y/n) roughly wipes away the lingering tears on her face, before she reaches out to him. Just as her hands cradle around his face, he’s meeting her halfway, eyes shut before their lips even touch.

As hasty as it is, it’s a tender kiss. Neither one of them wanted to move too fast at the risk of bumping an injury, but the years of pent up emotions came pouring out of it nonetheless. Her calloused and bruised hands somehow feel silky smooth when they glide over his jaw. Any fears or pains melt away under the gift of her soft kiss. Toge could almost forget all of it, just for that moment.

When she pulls away, quietly panting to catch her breath after holding it the entirety of the kiss, the unreadable look on her face fades away into something else. Bittersweet relief.

Her eyes shift between his, finding the same emotion in them that she’s currently feeling. Affectionately, her thumbs trace over the markings on either side of his mouth. There’s a moment of silence between them as they bask in the first pleasant moment they’d had in a while. It’s no surprise that it’s only come when they’re together.

“We’ll find the others,” (y/n) murmurs assuredly after a minute. “We’ll figure it out,” And as she says it, she starts to believe it, slowly but surely she pulls herself out of her cynicism, hope and certainty replacing it when she looks at him. “Together”

His own hand slides across her cheek and wraps comfortably at the nape of her neck, holding her delicately but closely. Toge nods, smiling back at her with as much conviction as he could.

“Together”

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

[ it’s a cruel, cruel world, but we don’t care // cause what we’ve got, we’ve got to share ]

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

xoxo ~ jordie a/n: for anyone who got the little miss sunshine edit mwah mwah mwah bc it's a comfort movie of mine <3

#inumaki toge x reader #toge x reader #inumaki x reader #toge inumaki x reader #toge inumaki #inumaki toge #inumaki toge imagine #toge inumaki imagine #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #inumaki toge x reader fluff #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk imagine #jujutsu kaisen imagine

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strawbrryval · 4 months

Text

Attention

“Where the fuck were you?” You stood up, arms crossed around your chest as you stared in disbelief at your husband.

He’s been working ‘overtime’ for the past 2 months and at first, you understood but now it was starting to get to you.

The first few nights he returned not that late, maybe around 9-10 pm. But then he started coming back later and later, and not paying you any attention at all.

Now it was 2 AM almost 3 and you were standing in the living room in your silk robe trying to figure out who your husband was anymore. You never thought his work could make him this unrecognizable.

“Work.” He said bluntly before attempting to push past your shared bedroom, you stopped him.

“Kento it's almost 3 in the morning and you’re telling me you’re just coming back from work? Don't bullshit me. I can barely recognize you— is that alcohol? Were you out fucking drinking?”

As you scolded him he showed nothing but disinterest. It's like he wanted you to stop talking. “I just went to the bar with Shoko and ‘em~ it’s not that big of a deal, honey. Calm down.”

With the look you gave him after he said that he knew he fucked up. “Calm down? You haven't given me even 5 minutes of your attention in months, Kento, and the first fucking thing you say to me after coming home almost 3, and drunk at that! you tell me to calm down?! Since you don't want me to worry about you, why don't you go live with Shoko ‘and ‘em’ instead?”

he watched as you said this with tears in your eyes before going back into the room and throwing a couple of pillows and a blanket at him before slamming the bedroom door and locking him out.

Nanami sighed as he adjusted the cushions and pillows to make himself comfortable on the couch. He regretted everything he just said to you, he vowed to make things right in a couple of hours. But until he crawled underneath the covers and fell asleep.

The next few days were the worst. You gave him the cold shoulder and wouldn't speak to him even if your life depended on it. You refused to stay in the same room with him for more than 15 minutes, you were washing the dishes? You'd drop them and come back to them later. You were eating dinner? You’d take the food back in the room and eat it there. You even went as far as to cook in smaller portions so that he had nothing to eat at all times. You were pissed and he knew it. He made several attempts to talk to you and even texted you just for you to leave him on read.

ken 💕: Darling? I'm so so sorry for what I said, please speak to me.

ken 💕: I'm back on my normal hours if that makes you feel any better.

ken 💕: I love you.

“Baby?” you looked up from your spot on the couch to see your husband with a bouquet of roses. He looked so.. Exhausted.

He has bags under his eyes and had he been… crying? “I know you probably don't want anything to do with me right now but can you please listen to me?” You nodded in response.

“Thank you. I realized what I did to you was completely immature. After work, Shoko and Gojo carried me out for a few drinks because they saw that I was pretty tense. I lost track of time and how much I drank, I’m sorry. And about me working overtime… I stopped doing it. I’m back on my normal hours.”

He said all of that while blushing and scratching the nape of his neck which made you smile. You got up to hug him and whispered into his ear “After you put the roses in some water meet me in the bedroom so you can apologize to me fully.”

you gave him a smirk with a light nibble on his ear when you pulled away, grazing your hand over his crotch and walking back to the bedroom. Nanami swore that he'd never moved that fast for anything in his entire life. He quickly shoved the roses into the vase you two kept on the kitchen counter and made his way to the bedroom.

The sex that night was phenomenal. He was kneeling at the edge of the bed, eating you out even though you insisted that it was fine. By the time he finally pushed himself in you it felt as if you were gonna break him in half.

He silently cursed under his breath for not fucking you sooner. Nanami made love to you so tender and sensual that night, murmuring little “i love yous” into the crook of your neck and told you how sorry he was too. The next morning he made sure to take the week of the give you all of his attention. Boy, you loved him more than anything.

!!! Not proofread !!!

a/n: suggested to me by my moot @/twicelles! i’ve had this in my drafts for about a week lol.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #≡; ꒰ ° val's works ꒱#jjk nanami #jujutsu nanami #nanami smut #nanami kento #kento nanami #jjk kento #nanami x reader #original character #female reader #black reader #jujutsu kaisen nanami #nanami x you #nanamin

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luimagines · 28 days

Note

Could you pretty please do a four soulmate au? Feel free to be creative with the way to identify the soulmate or just the heterochromia au! Little mascots could be cute too, but feel free to do whatever!

...My weakness. Let's do this!

Masterlist

Content under the cut!

You knew you had a pretty lucky identifier.

Your two eyes were different colors. One was yours and the other was your soulmate.

You had noticed the initial age when you came of age. You had woken up one day and saw that your eyes was the prettiest shade of blue in existence. This made this so much easier! There were only so many people with blue eyes in your village. You could easily take a trip around and try to meet as many as you could and simply go down the list!

It's just the process of elimination at that point.

Sadly, you seemed to never find the time to do so. Every day there were chores to do and people to see and your parents never wanted you to go too far from the house since you were so young.

An interesting happened around the time you were eleven.

The shiny blue eyes that you had admired so much has muddled and within the hour was burst into a rainbow of colors. It couldn't seem to stay the one. When the light hit it a certain way, it looked green. From the side you could have sworn they looked purple. When you looked down you thought you could see the iris as red. When you looked at it head on though, it was still that same blue you came to love.

Naturally, your parents had caught on first that the changed had happened before you did. When it was only looked at in certain way, you would have had no idea that it was even happening.

You tried to not think too much about what it could have meant. Despite your parents freaking out about what might have happened to your soul for this to happen, you focused on the blue. The blue you were familiar with.

The strange effect had only lasted for a few months before the blue came back... but it was never the same as you once knew it to be. It had dulled. It could have passed for brown after everything. It was still pretty but the change was disappointing.

Years went by and you learned to live with it. Eventually the memory of such a clear blue vanish slightly and you began to appreciate the color for what it was now.

One day you were walking home from a long day in the woods. You were gathering materials for a project you had started up the week before. It was a little more slow going that you would have liked but you were happy with your progress.

A loud roar came from the right and you found yourself flung from the trail into a nearby tree. Your materials went flying everywhere. Your basket was destroyed.

You looked up in time to see the club raised and screamed, not even bothering to get a clear view of the monster.

You were never hit.

You heard a male grunt and the sound of flesh being cut as the monster screech in rage. You tried to crawl away and ended up slipping down the side of the hill, landing next to the dribbling creek.

You groaned and looked at your reflection.

You eyes were normal.

Suddenly, it felt like the pain wasn't there anymore as you tried to get to your feet as fast as you could. Battle raged around you, the cry of the first monster calling in more as reinforcements.

Someone dropped to your side, helping you up. "Are you ok?"

You looked at him and gulped. He had the same blue you used to admire day to day. "Ye-yeah... I'm.. I'm ok."

He didn't seem to notice, quickly nodding in your direction and turning around with a sword raised. "Good. Sorry about this. This will only take a moment."

The other monsters broke the tree line and b-lined for you both. He raised his sword to the sky, blinding you with a bright light before there were suddenly four of them running at the barrage of monsters before you.

You gasp.

Green.

Blue.

Purple.

Red.

You recognized their colors quickly and watched as they demolished the monster forces as if they were nothing.

The boys came together and reformed into the one guy once more. He grinned and put his sword away, walking up to you with a sheepish expression. "Sorry about the suddenly commotion. You got caught up in the wrong time. My name is Link by the way."

He sticks out his hand and waits for you to respond. Slowly, a unbridled grin covered your face. You reach to shake his hand as well as you introduce yourself by name. "And I'm your soulmate."

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #linked universe x reader #lu x reader #lu four

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withahappyrefrain · 2 years

Text

Tonight You Belong to Me

Summary: A surprise reunion has you and Bob trying for something much earlier than anticipated. Not that either one of you is complaining about it.

Warnings: Strong breeding kink, praise kink, unprotected sex, oral (f receiving), fingering, creampie, language

✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪

Your eyes fluttered at the sound of your pets getting off the bed. It was the one main drawback of allowing three cats and a dog to sleep with you.

But it also made the bed a little less lonely while your husband was away.

Normally, you'd ignore the disturbance and go back to sleep. But the opening of your front door, along with the mewls and barks, jolted you awake.

This wasn't a break in. Someone familiar was here.

You quickly got out of bed, wearing only one of your husband's T-shirts. The wooden floor was cold against your feet, despite it being in the middle of summer.

"Hey guys! Shhh, don't want to wake your Mama up," a familiar voice said from the living room.

As you entered the room, you couldn't help but rub your eyes to see if you were sleepwalking.

Because by all means, your husband Bob shouldn't be in the living room. He should be several hours away in Fightertown, working on his current mission. Not in your living room, petting the animals you two had adopted over the years.

Bob looked up, a smile lit up across his face at the sight of his wife.

"Bob?" Your voice was small as you stepped forward, still not sure whether to believe the sight in front of you.

He stood up, walking over to you, "I was trying to avoid waking you up. Wanted it to be a surprise."

You threw your arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug. The scent of sage flooded your nostrils as your husband wrapped his arms around you for the first time in nearly two months. God how you missed that scent- the clean, clear, calming scent of him.

"We were given tomorrow off, so I took the first flight out. Rooster was able to help me make it. Only have a little less than twenty-four hours, but I figured it's better than having to wait another four weeks before I could see you again," Bob explained, smiling from ear to ear. You made a mental note to text Bradley thank-you later.

Deployments never got easier, though it was something you had longer accepted that came with being in a relationship with Bob. You were proud of your husband, that he had been chosen for such an important mission. But you would be lying if you said you didn't miss him, didn't worry about him every hour of the day.

"It could be just an hour and I wouldn't care," your voice cracked as he rested his forehead against yours, "I missed you."

Bob nodded his head, closing the gap between your lips and his. You were thankful he had his arms around your waist. It was always the first kiss back that left you breathless, knocked the wind out of you, made you feel like you were floating.

"Well now I'm here to do whatever you want," Bob told you before pressing a kiss to your temple.

"Anything?" You ask, a coy smile forming as you fiddle with the collar of his khaki uniform.

"Anything."

You pressed your lips against his jaw, your fingers twirling the curls at the back of his neck. God you loved it when he went without gelling his hair.

"I take it you'd like to go to bed, though not for sleeping," He said with a sly smile.

Over the years, Bob had become more bold. It was never a question of not wanting you. He wanted you the moment he first laid eyes on you. But Bob, ever the gentlemen, never wanted to make you uncomfortable, never wanted to assume.

Which is why it took three dates before you two shared your first kiss. It was also why you had to literally drag him into your apartment to indicate you wanted Bob in a more physical way.

But now, all he needed was a slight nod from you. That was all it took for him to wrap his arms around your thighs, picking you up and carrying you to the bedroom.

You always forgot how strong he was. The man was able to do two hundred push ups, it made sense. But it still took your breath away how easily he could pick you up and toss you around if he wanted to.

Not that he would. At least, not without your permission.

As your back touched the mattress, your hands reached out, trying to hold onto your husband.

"I have to close the door," Bob chuckled, "Otherwise our lovely animals will think it's a sleepover for all."

"Yeah, we've established that neither of us are into being watched," You grinned, "Though, you definitely get off on the thrill of getting caught."

Your husband blushed as he closed the door and began unbuttoning his shirt, "I do not-"

"Need I remind you of the time you insisted on doing it in the bathroom when I went to visit you on base during your last mission? Or how for our first anniversary, you took me back to the library we met in and-"

The salacious stories were cut off by Bob pressing his lips against yours. You sighed into the kiss, happy to feel his body on top of yours again.

Your hands gripped the white undershirt he was wearing, desperate to pull him closer. The burning desire you had for him was nothing new. It always felt like this when he came home after being away. You would be genuinely surprised if you two left your shared bed for the next sixteen hours.

"Robby," You whined into his mouth as you wrapped your legs around his waist.

Bob's hips grinded against yours. You knew damn well what that nickname did to him, how it made him absolutely putty in your hands. Always had, always will.

"Whatcha need darlin'?" He asked, sliding his fingers underneath your (his) shirt.

"Want you to put a baby in me, Robby," you whined.

Bob's hands stilled as he looked up to you, his eyes darkening.

It wasn't the first time you two had talked about having children. In fact, you both had agreed that once he got back from his current mission, you would start trying. In the time Bob's been gone, you've gotten off birth control. Something he was very aware of, as it was one of the details you used when you two spoke over the phone, trying to get each other off with just your words.

But was there anything wrong with starting early?

Bob didn't think so. He also didn't need to be told twice. In record time, your clothes were removed and for once, he wasn't fumbling with his belt.

His lips latched onto your neck, biting and licking as he used his hands to spread your thighs apart.

"Gonna taste you first, okay? Then I'll put a baby in you, promise darlin'," He assured you as he moved down your body, settling in between your thighs.

You opened your mouth, ready to tease Bob about how babies were made. That comment died in your throat, a moan replacing it as soon as you felt his tongue lapping at your folds.

It was no surprise that Bob was precise and quick with his fingers. It made sense, considering his role as a WSO. You just didn't think those skills would translate to the bedroom.

Early on in the relationship, you were proven wrong. Very wrong. The way he angled his fingers so it hit that spot with every thrust had you falling apart in record time. Even his tongue, fuck, you missed his tongue.

All you had to do was look down to come undone. Those big, wide blue eyes, the loose curl that had fallen over his forehead, the askew glasses, that fucking smirk you could feel against your soaked core.

You grabbed fistfuls of his sun kissed hair, your hips bucking into his mouth as you came.

It hit you like a hurricane. Eight weeks doesn't sound long in theory, but it is in fact, a very long time to go without your husband's touch. Pictures, phone calls, and FaceTimes didn't compare to the real thing and never would.

Bob, ever the gentleman, continued to use his mouth and fingers on you through your orgasm. He never hid how much he enjoyed watching you fall apart. The way your back arched, how your head fell back, how you grabbed whatever you could find to hold on for dear life.

He could spend hours in between your thighs to see that sight over and over again. But there were more pressing matters now.

“Robby,” you found yourself whining, hands extending out to grab onto whatever part of him you could reach. Your vision was blurry, awareness of your surroundings still hazy.

“I'm right here, I got you," His lips brushed against your temple.

"I'm gonna put a baby in ya now, okay?" He cooed in your ear.

"P-please." It was normal to be desperate, near feral-like for him when he came back from missions.

This was different.

Bob must have felt the same way. Normally, he'd eased in, allowing you to adjust little by little. A gasp broke from your lips as he entered you swiftly.

A hissed escaped your mouth as your body became familiar with his once again. He always gave you time to adjust to the stretch, practically cradling you while he whispered soft praises.

"Doing s'good for me."

"Feel amazing darlin'."

"Gonna make you a mama."

It was the last sentence that set you off, ignited the near primal urge you had. Your hands clawed at his back and shoulders, desperate to cling onto him, longing to feel him move inside of you.

Bob's hands trailed down to your thighs, grabbing them and pinning your legs against his hips. The new angle caused a slight thrust.

You arched your back, trying to chase it, your legs wrapping themselves around his waist.

"Robert William Floyd, I swear to God if you don't move, I'll-"

Your threat went unspoken, thanks to Bob swiftly pulling nearly all the way out and thrusting back in. A near-scream erupted from your lips, one that would get you dirty looks from the neighbors the next day.

If it was anyone else, you would have wiped that smirk off his face. But it was Bob, your husband, and you loved seeing that smirk adorn his face. You loved seeing him confident and relishing in the effect he had on you.

Lord knows how long it took him to realize you were absolutely head over heels, completely and utterly smitten the moment you saw him in that library for the first time, on the floor, explaining his ribbons to a student of yours.

You buried your head into the crook of his neck, your teeth sinking into his skin. Bob groaned at the sensation of your teeth marking up his neck. Normally he'd care, pull you away or direct you to a part of his body that was easily covered by his uniform.

But right now, visible hickies were not at the forefront of his mind. You were. The whimpers you let out when his cock brushed against a specific spot, the way your fingernails dug into his back, and most importantly, the way your walls tightened as he kept going, pushing you closer and closer to the edge again.

Yes, the main point of this interaction was for him to come inside you. Bob knew that, he wasn't dense.

But it would be a cold day in hell when you only came once while in bed with him.

He hitched one of your legs up higher, enabling him to thrust into you deeper. A high pitched whine fell from your lips, the pleasure from the new angle rushing through your body, adding pressure to that knot in your stomach that was getting tighter and tighter with each passing second.

A stream of incoherent prattle fell from your lips, begging him to keep going, to not stop.

“Let go darlin’,” He grunted, “I got ya.”

You opened your mouth, though no sound came out. White hot pleasure coursed through your entire body as your walls tightened around your husband’s cock, clinging to him as if he could slip away at any moment.

“Oh fuck, sweetheart.” A sense of pride filled you. Bob didn’t curse when he was hundreds of feet up in the air, focused on keeping himself and his pilot alive during the mission at hand.

No, he only cursed when buried deep inside you as you practically milked his cock. Only you could bring that out of him, no one else.

“Robby, come inside me,” You whimpered, “Wanna make you a daddy.”

Somehow, despite his brain short-circuiting, Bob began thrusting into you harder and faster than before. You couldn’t tell what was louder, the sound of his skin slapping against yours or the bed frame jamming into the wall with every thrust. You could feel yourself clenching around him still, jolts of pleasure still igniting your body, making it difficult to come down from your high.

Not that you were complaining.

His hips began to stutter, the pace becoming jerky and uninhibited. Bob gripped the bed frame, his dog tags now dangling over you. The metal of his tags and wedding ring glimmered against the light from your nightstand.

With a guttural curse, he came inside you. You always made it clear how much you loved the feeling of him filling you up with his seed. But this time, it felt carnal, prurient, other-wordly.

For a moment, you two laid there, tangled up as you tried to steady your breathing. Bob got on his knees, gripping onto your thighs. He began to pull out.

You gasped as you felt him thrust back into you.

Fuck, he was still hard.

“Just gotta make sure nothing spills out, okay?” You nodded your head, gripping the bed sheets so hard you would be quite surprised if there wasn’t a rip in them the next day.

“You’re gonna be such a good momma, y’know that?” His praises set your head spinning.

“Wantyourbaby,” You muttered, impressed that you were capable of saying something coherent at this point. Bob was too.

“I know,” He cooed, “You’re gonna look so pretty, carrying our baby.”

His hand went down to where your two bodies met, his thumb drawing circles on your clit. At this point, the volume of your voice wasn’t a concern. The only thing you could focus on was that your husband, Robert Floyd, was determined to fuck a baby into you tonight.

You came again with a cry, Bob silencing it by crashing his lips onto yours. Your hands tangled themselves into his hair, tugging on his locks for dear life as you moaned into his mouth. You could feel your teeth clanking against his, spit dribbling from your mouth. It was primal, something you loved seeing from your usually reserved husband.

His hips stilled and you could feel his cock twitching as your husband emptied inside you again. Bob’s stamina was impressive and not what you had originally expected from the shy, timid WSO when you two first met.

“You okay?” Bob asked before pressing his lips to your forehead. You nodded your head, loosening the grip you had on his dark blonde locks.

He pulled out, your core aching at the emptiness. Not that you felt it for long.

"Robby!"

Your hands gripped the bed sheet as his fingers curled inside of you.

"Can't let any drop escape sweetheart," He reminded you, that stupidly attractive smirk adorning his face as he leaned down to latch onto your clit.

If it wasn't for his schedule, you would be hoping that it would take some time to get pregnant, since this was how Bob planned to go about it.

You could always take your time with child number two.

#Bob floyd #bob floyd x y/n #bob floyd x you #bob floyd x reader #robert bob floyd x you #robert bob floyd x reader #robert bob floyd imagine #bob x you #bob x reader #Lewis Pullman #top gun maverick #top gun fanfiction #top gun bob #my writing #bob floyd x female reader #robert floyd x reader #bob top gun #no one asked for 2.6k words of breeding kink #but here y'all go have fun

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mikwaa · 9 months

Text

I missed you

Prompt: You left on a mission, and it took a while to come back. And they are eager for you to come back.

Featuring: Kaveh, Kaeya, Alhaitham, Wanderer, Zhongli

Warnings: Only romance, suggestive at one point (nothing much), established relationship, spicy but nothing explicit.

A/n: No, I'm not begging someone to welcome me home like this. I swear.

Alhaitham:

Alhaitham was used to these missions of yours lasting days, sometimes even weeks. But this time he felt different, you had been away for a long time, and you had not given any sign of life. Normally you would always find a way to communicate with him, but that didn't happen this time. And these last few days it had become routine for him to stay up late, hoping that you would come into that house to fill the void he felt. But in the end, none of this happened, and he ended up just being overcome by sleep and tiredness. And there he was again, sitting on the couch immersed in his daily reading. He had already lost track of the time, his gaze shifted focus, one hour all his attention was devoted to the book, but at some point he kept staring at the door waiting for some sign from you. And just as he was about to doze off, his eyes so heavy they refused to stay open, he heard the door latch open, and he saw your silhouette. He even thought it was just the effect of sleep, he might be daydreaming or something, but soon those thoughts were put aside, as soon as he heard your sweet voice calling him. "Haitham?" You called him softly, not knowing if he was awake or asleep there on the couch. He blinked, once, twice, three times, before getting up and walking quickly towards you. "Are you okay?" His hands grabbed you around the waist, pulling you into his chest and wrapping you in a warm embrace. And you welcomed him, wrapping your arms around his body, letting yourself be carried away by the feeling of comfort it brought, you'd been away from home for days, nothing fairer than enjoying it. "Yes, I am. And you?" You snuggled into his neck, murmuring in a low, tired tone. One of his hands ran through your hair, gently stroking them, "I missed you, you took a long time." He whispers, full of tenderness in his voice. And he worried, a lot, especially when you disappeared and didn't give news like that. His mind would think of so many things, that sometimes he couldn't even close his eyes with worry. "Sorry, things got more complicated than I expected." And you gave him a little kiss on the lips, as a compensation for staying away. And he stared at you with those eyes that reminded you of emeralds, this while he smoothed a scratch on your face with his thumb, gently dragging his finger all over the area. "We have to take care of that, you can tell me how things went while I bandage it up." And to be honest, all he wanted was to keep you like this in his arms. All because he was dying of longing. Even though he was all serious, with you he showed a different side. More caring and loving, he hated to think of losing you, it drove him crazy. With that, once you walked through that door and back into his arms, his heart ceased, and he took comfort in your touch. Which he missed so much.

Kaeya:

It was late at night, but for Kaeya the night had just begun. He was in his living room, enjoying a good wine, already on his fourth glass. Even though everything seemed peaceful, his mind was full of thoughts, and all of those thoughts involved you. Suddenly a commission had come your way, and it had been two weeks since you had been out to solve the problem. Yet you and Kaeya always communicated, often by letters, you always sent him letters frequently. But not this time, he didn't receive any letters from you, and it was driving him mad. He had looked for you in many places, used his position as a Cavalry Captain to try and find you, but he had no trace of you. All he could do was sit and wait, wait for you to knock on his door, and only then would he be reassured. And as if the Archons had heard his prayers, someone knocked on his door. His heart began to skip beats as soon as he heard the sound at the door. He hurried to open it, only to see the little face he had missed so much. He was quick to pull you into a hug, nestling you in his arms, not leaving a gap for you to let go. "Someday you'll kill me with anticipation." He chuckles, as he murmurs against your ear. And you laughed back, clinging onto him even tighter, if that was even possible. "I'm back, I'm not leaving anytime soon." You nod at him, and he pulls away a little, only to pull you into a passionate, tender kiss. Surely he wanted to take you to the bedroom and make love with you passionately, to make up for lost time. But he wanted to hear you out first, to take you in and make you feel wanted, just like you were. He would surely want to know the story in full detail. "I'd be going crazy if I let you out again." With a cocky smile he says, his eye scanning every inch of your face. Archons, how he missed you. You put your hands around his neck as he leaned you against the closed door. "I have so much to tell you, if it's up to me we're both going to spend the night awake." And honestly he didn't care, the next day he would make up an excuse for missing work. All this just to have the pleasure of seeing you wake up in his arms, and to have an even greater pleasure of keeping you in the soft bed with him. "Not for that," And he points to the wine and the glass on the table, "I'll prepare some snacks for both of us, and get another glass." And he pulls away from you, not before stealing another kiss. And if it were up to him, you'd be there until the morning, just enjoying each other's company. And maybe even something more will happen, it will help a lot to make up for his missing you.

Kaveh:

Days and days pass, and Kaveh is almost in a state of panic. Every moment you don't signal if you are okay to him, his heart freezes. He just can't think of anything else, all he wanted most was to have you by his side, and he would trap you in his arms in a way that you couldn't even get out if you wanted to. That was the thought that kept him sane, he assured himself that you would come back to him soon. All he could do was count every minute, he even tried to focus on personal projects, but he just couldn't concentrate, all the time looking out the window anxiously, hoping you would show up. And as if by magic, as soon as he looked through the window he saw you, in your shabby clothes and carrying that heavy bag you always carried on long trips. And he ran out of the room, heading for the door to welcome you. And he was the first to open the door, wasting no time to take you in his arms, "You almost killed me! Do you know how worried I was?" And just as quickly as he put you in his arms, he let you go and looked you over from head to toe. "I'm fine, don't worry, I just need a good bath and a few cuddles, and I'll be brand new!" You say with a little smile, but that wasn't enough to convince him. "You're all scratched up, your clothes are all tattered." He said it like an complaining old man, but the tenderness and compassion in his eyes didn't fade in a minute. "It's all right, really." You gently put the palm of your hand on his cheeks, and he snuggled in. Once he felt your touch, he quieted, as if the emptiness in him had been filled. He took your hand and kissed it, then kissed all the way down your arm to your shoulder, "I missed you so much." You took his face in your hands, cupping it, "You don't know how much I wanted to come home." And then, he began to shower your face with kisses, whispering between each one, "You're not going to leave me again, are you?" And then again, " Heavens I love you so much." With a final kiss on your lips. You smiled against his lips, you couldn't take how adorable Kaveh could be. It seemed to take his lips off yours was a bit of work, because he really didn't want to, just like you. But you needed a good bath, clean clothes, and good food. "I'll prepare food for you, your tummy is rumbling isn't it?" He asks softly, while his forehead rests on yours. With a giggle you nodded, and he took you by the hand and led you to the kitchen, "Stay here while I prepare it, I want to hear everything that happened." And besides, he would definitely help you take care of the bruises. "Okay, I'll tell you detail by detail." You say it with a bright smile, and he comes over and gives you another kiss on the cheek. Surely he wouldn't let go of you, he would be the rest of the day like a sly child after you. As soon as you finished doing the rest of your chores, he would hug you and tell you everything that happened in the last few days. Just as he would be a great listener, he couldn't wait to spend a whole day with you.

Zhongli:

As the patient and calm man that he was, Zhongli didn't stress over silly things, however there were things that left him with a flea behind his ear. And one of those things was when you went out on those dangerous and long missions, sometimes he didn't even know when you were going to be back, and that made him a little apprehensive. And there he was, in his office at home, having a cup of tea, reading some contracts he needed to review. As attentive as he was to what he was doing, he couldn't help but have thoughts about you, about when you would return to that house that had suddenly become so empty. Since it was already considerably late, Zhongli had given up hope that you would return that day. But there was still that little glimmer of expectation that he would sleep next to you that night, he missed it so much. And so, he heard the 'click' of the door opening, soon revealing your countenance, which he missed so much. "Awake at this hour?" It was the first thing you said as soon as you saw him, and you would pay just to see the sparkle in those eyes all day long. And he stood up, putting all those papers aside and giving you his full attention. "I have been eagerly awaiting your arrival my dear." He held your face, thoughtfully stroking your cheeks. "I hope I haven't kept you waiting too long." Relaxing your face in his hands you say, and he immediately gives you a breathtaking smile. He pulled you into a hug, just to feel you in his embrace, whispering to you, "No matter how long I wait, all that matters is that you always come back to me." The velvety voice that always surprised you, that always gave you goosebumps. The love that oozed from his every utterance. And you clung to him more, it was the best thing to come home, to be welcomed with such tenderness and love, what more could you ask for? You kissed his neck lightly, softly saying, "I'll always come back to you." And he gave you a satisfied smile, you could not give a better answer. As much as his mind was full of bad ideas that could happen to you, so every time you came home safe and well, it was a huge relief to him. "I'll make something for both of us, you can go take a hot bath and put on more comfortable clothes." He strokes your hair, holding you by the chin and giving you a gentle, loving kiss. And he didn't want to let you go, genuinely didn't, but he was content with the fact that he could hold on to you for the rest of the night. He parted your lips from his, his fingers playing with your hair, and then he whispers again, "But first, can you give me one more kiss?" And he asks as if it's been forever since he last placed his lips against yours. And so it was done, he gently pressed his lips against yours, letting himself be carried away by the sensation it brought him. He was craving you so much that he couldn't help himself, as if his skin, his body, everything about him was begging for you. You were the only one capable of giving him that feeling, and it took his feet off the ground every time. With that last kiss, his plans changed, now he would join you in the bath. And then he would prepare the best food, he couldn't wait to take you to the shared room and there he would vent all the tension he felt these past few days. Just to let you know how much you were missed by him these days.

Wanderer:

Normally, Wanderer didn't mind too much when you left for these commissions, you were always very competent and always came back soon. But this time it had been almost four weeks since you had signaled anything, you had left, just saying it would be another one of your assignments. You had always been very secretive when it came to this, so he hadn't even bothered to go into details. However, now he felt a certain distress that you were spending so much time working like this, and even more so without giving any news of your whereabouts. From time to time he would walk around the city of Sumeru, hoping to find you somewhere, but he never succeeded. And he had already done that for the day, what was left was to go home and wait for you, and he didn't even know why he was giving so much importance to that. And as soon as he set foot inside the house, he was greeted with a hug, which was already familiar. "I thought you forgot about me." You say in a joking tone. And as if he needed this more than anything, he wrapped his arms around you, pressing you tightly against his body. "You and your silliness, I would never do that." In an annoyed grumble he answered you, his hands clasped around your waist. You lifted your face a little, just enough to kiss him lovingly on the cheek. His fingers tightened around you, signaling that he was enjoying it. "You shouldn't take so long on these missions." He grumbled at you, but you knew he wasn't angry, he was missing you. "I promise I'll spend more time at home." And this time you give him a kiss on the lips, slowly to enjoy the moment. And instead of rejecting it, which he would never do with you, he gladly accepted it, wanting it as much or even more than you. "I think you'd better comply." He manages to murmur during the kiss, meeting you voraciously as he presses his lips against yours. And then he finds your hand, and wraps his fingers around yours in a clear sign of affection. His free hand roaming around your waist, but he still held you tight. After a while he stops, just to admire your beautiful face, which had a pink tint. And without you expecting it, he kissed you all over your face, and you can bet he was as red as you were. His heart was pounding more and more, at the same time that he was reassured that you were home, he could not contain the excitement that ran through his body. You're there, you were finally there. "I love it when you do that." You say softly, and he gives you a little smile, still holding you in his arms. That was a more than accurate indicator for him to continue his advances, he might not say it with words, but certainly his attitudes showed how much he enjoyed seeing your reactions. With every touch, every kiss, every time his skin brushed against yours, he loved every little face you made. The way he looked at you gave away how much he cared. With a soft kiss on your lips he whispers, "Stay here longer, the house is empty without you." Your heart warmed at the phrase, and you pulled him into a deeper, more passionate kiss. And he just dived into the wonderful taste your lips had. And he is immersed in the delicious emotion he felt at that moment. And it was only then that he realized that he needed you there, just so things would make some sense. And surely, he would show you how great his feeling for you was.

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dearestaussiechannie · 4 months

Text

✿ Pinky Promise ✿ — Kim Seungmin

Word count: 1.1k

Paring: Seungmin x Gn!reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: I don't think there are any warnings, just pure fluff.

Authors Notes: I've had Seungmin HEAVY on my mind lately so I really wanted to write this. I'm falling asleep as we speak, SO please enjoy! Not proofread btw so if there's any mistakes lmk <3

It’d been well over two hours since your beloved Seungmin said he’d be home. He had left around noon to head to the studio, rushing to put his shoes on and kiss you goodbye.

“I should be home by 8, when I get home let’s watch a movie?” He asked, more coming across as a statement than a question. You simply nodded and kissed him goodbye, closing the door and patiently awaiting his return.

Now though, you weren’t so patient. You’d texted him a few times, they’d all gone to delivered but never read and your calls were going straight to voicemail. Disheartened by this, you stopped trying and simply started the movie that you’d picked out for the two of you to watch.

Without realizing it, you dozed off during the movie. Rubbing your eyes a bit harshly as you looked around, calling out softly. “Min? Are you home?” You say, voice barely above average volume. After you get no response, you get up and look around, finding that you’re still the only person in your apartment. Looking at the clock on the wall for the time, it displayed “12:30am”.

How’s it so late but Seungmin still isn’t home? You’ve given up on waiting for him as you crawl into your shared bed, pulling his pillow closer to yourself and wrapping your arms around it since you know that the smell of Seung on his pillow and the warmth of the bed will quickly lull you back to sleep and it does wonderfully.

Not long after you've fallen back asleep, there’s a jiggle at the front door. Seungmin is rushing inside, kicking off his shoes and leaving them where they land, throwing his bag onto the kitchen table as he hurries to the living room. In your haste to get into the bed, you’d left the TV on, leading Min to thinking you were still up but he’s sadly met but an empty couch and a TV playing something random after whatever you’d been watching.

He looked around the room, noticing the chunky-knit blanket that you like to use while cuddling slightly wrinkled up on the couch from where you’d crawled out from under it. The snacks he always likes on the table, his favorites in front of where he normally sits and yours where you do and then the empty plate that he assumes you ate dinner off of.

Slowly, he sits on the couch for a moment, hands raking through his hair as he slightly pulls at it. He’s frustrated with the way his day went and at himself for not making it home in time for the plans he’d made with you. The second is what’s really bugging him though, he never misses plans. Sure, they may have been spur of the moment but he made them so he wanted to be there.

As he stands, he grabs the plate you’d left on the table and drags himself to the kitchen with his head hung low. Once in the kitchen, he once again takes notice of the things you’ve done. Dinner has been cooked and put away, the dinner dishes have been done, kitchen has been cleaned as well as the table that he’d just thrown his backpack onto when he walked inside. Your plate slips from his hands into the sink with a small clink before it’s being put away, cleaned by Seungmin.

Once he’d cleaned up everything he could find, he slowly made his way into your shared bedroom. Quietly, he gets some clothes and goes to the bathroom, wanting to wash the day away with a shower hoping to wash away his guilt. Once he’s done, he quickly dresses and dries his hair, making his way over to the bed as he hears the blankets moving against the sheets. He looks up at your side, seeing that you’ve rolled closer to his side and you’re hugging his pillow. The sight makes his heart flutter, a big smile spreading across his face.

Crawling into the bed beside you, slowly lifting your arm off his pillow and wrapping it around himself instead and putting his pillow under his own head. He gently kisses the top of your head, brushing the hair out of your face as he admires your sleeping face, the way your brows are slightly frowned and the way that your lips are just ever-so-slightly parted, the feeling of your breath fanning against his skin. How did he get so lucky to come home to you everyday? While lost in his thoughts, he misses the way that the dip in the mattress has now shifted with you now leaning your weight onto your elbow, free hand rubbing your eyes.

“Seungmin? When did you get home?” You ask him, breaking him from his thoughts. He looks over and gently pulls your hand away from your eyes as he shushes you softly. “Not too long, just got outta the shower. Don’t rub your eyes so hard, they'll hurt when you wake up.” He replies, rolling slightly so that he’s now face to face with you. He reaches up, cradling your cheek in his hand as he brushes it with his thumb, you leaning into his touch.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t home in time for our movie night that I suggested..” He says, voice barely above a whisper. “Oh Minnie, it's alright. I knew you were busy, I will admit I was frustrated at first but I got over it since I know that you were doing something important.” You say to him, moving your face a bit and kiss the pad of his thumb. This small action on top of your words makes him light up in a smile, pulling you closer to him to place a small peck on your lips. When he pulls away, you're left chasing his lips for more, pouting slightly. He can’t fight the laugh that he lets out when he sees your face.

“No it's time to sleep, we can kiss more tomorrow while we watch that movie we talked about okay?” He says through his laugh, looking at you with so much love in his eyes. All you can do is nod as you stare into his eyes, laying your head on his chest as you hum. “Pinky promise?” You ask putting your hand up with your pinky out. It’s childish you both know this but he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his pinky around yours as your eyes start to flutter closed.

“Pinky promise.” he says and it’s the last thing you hear before falling back asleep, dreaming about your lives together.

Taglist: (to be added, comment or message me♡)

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#dearestaussiechannie writes♡#kim seungmin x reader #kim seungmin x you #kim seungmin x y/n #skz x you #skz x y/n #skz x reader #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader #kim seungmin imagines #kim seungmin fluff

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xomakara · 3 months

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Body & Soul

SUMMARY | You just want to have sex with Johnny but Doyoung keeps interferring so you and Johnny try to convince Doyoung into having a threesome. PAIRINGS | Johnny/Fem!Reader/Doyoung GENRE | non-idol au, smut with no plot, unprotected sex, oral sex, threesome RATING | Mature LENGTH | 3,445 words AUTHOR’S NOTE | I honestly don’t know how this turned out lol. I’ve written mentions of threesomes and group sex, but tbh, this is the first time i’ve written an actual threesome scene. Hope it turned out okay hahaha. Plus, i’ve ran out of ideas for titles…

"Babe, what are you staring at?"

You couldn't help but stare and bite your bottom lip as you watched your boyfriend scratch his shoulder. Normally it wouldn't faze you but for some odd reason, Johnny decided to scratch his shoulder with his hands under his sweater, his bulging abs on display for all the world to see.

"Nothing," you stammered, "I was just... um... seeing if I could read anything."

He smiled at you and you blushed in embarrassment. It was no secret that Johnny loved showing off his body. He worked hard in the gym almost every day and after months of working out, he looked amazing. His perfect body turned heads wherever he went, and even girls were starting to pay attention to him. You weren't going to deny that it made you a tad bit jealous seeing all these girls ogle over him. But then again, who didn't get jealous watching their significant other be so sexy?

Johnny noticed you staring at his stomach and chuckled. "What? What is it babe?"

You stood up and slowly walked towards him, running your hands under his sweater. Your fingers ran along the smooth skin, which was turning hot from the friction. He leaned into you and nibbled on your earlobe before giving it a small bite.

"I don't know babe," you said, your voice husky from lust. "Why don't you show me exactly what I'm looking at?"

With that he stood up and grabbed you by the hand. In one swift motion he lifted you up onto the kitchen counter and positioned himself between your legs. He leaned his head down to kiss you and when you reached out to unbutton his jeans-

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" You heard a yell and broke the kiss. You turned to look at Doyoung, covering his eyes as he walked into the kitchen. "If ya'll are gonna fuck, then do it in your bedroom."

Johnny quickly buttoned his pants while you stared at Doyoung and let out an embarrassed laugh. "Ha, you caught us."

"You were home the whole time, Doyoung?" You muttered as you hopped off the counter.

"Yeah, I've been home for about an hour already." Doyoung rolled his eyes. "Now I know you two are always horny for each other but can't you two think about your poor roommate's eyes before you start fucking in our shared space?"

"Yeah yeah," Johnny sighed, leaning against the counter next to you. "We're sorry. Are you okay though?"

Doyoung nodded, rubbing at his temple. "Yeah, it's just been a long day at the office. My boss keeps giving me more work and I'm swamped. Luckily my team is pretty good but sometimes I feel like I'm drowning. So to make matters worse I came home to find you two about to screw each other in my face. Not cool."

You laughed and hugged Doyoung. "Well, we are sorry about that. I guess there isn't much we can do but apologize. So do you want something to eat or drink?"

"Ugh, can I just have water please?" Doyoung rubbed his temples again. "Also, give me a second to wash up and I will join you guys."

After Doyoung left the room, you and Johnny walked back into the living room. You sat down on the couch and he put a blanket around you, tucking it in around your shoulders.

"It's freezing in here," you groaned, wrapping your arms tighter around yourself. "Why didn't you turn on the heater?"

"Hm, well..." He took a seat next to you and wrapped his arm around your waist. He rubbed your back gently, sending chills through your entire body. "...it's not quite cold enough for the heater yet."

You bit your lower lip as he leaned in closer, pressing a soft kiss to your neck.

"Don't you ever stop teasing me," you whispered.

His hand moved up from your waist to caress your cheek. "Never."

As you turned your head to meet his lips, Doyoung walked into the room, shaking his head. "I fucking hate you two."

Johnny laughed. "You know you can always join us. I'm sure Y/N doesn't mind. Right, babe?"

You laughed and nudged him. "Yeah, Doyoung. I'm sure Johnny doesn't mind sharing me. Right?"

Johnny let out a loud roar of laughter.

"Wow," Doyoung said quietly, still shocked. "Are you two serious or just joking with me? Please tell me that you two aren't actually serious."

Johnny let out another booming laugh. "Well why would we joke about something like this?"

Doyoung groaned loudly and sat down on the floor. "I have a headache now."

You felt bad for Doyoung because he didn't deserve to deal with your crazy sex life. Ever since you started dating Johnny, you couldn't keep your hands off of him. Even when he had just woken up, you would touch his naked body, feeling his muscles ripple underneath your fingertips.

When he got dressed, you would watch him as he adjusted his clothes, checking his own body out. If you saw any signs of imperfection, you would immediately run your hands over them, making sure they were smooth and perfect. Then, when he finally arrived home from work, you two would make love for hours. Every time you woke up, you'd find yourself lying on top of Johnny, having no memory of how you got there. And every night, you would dream of being fucked by Johnny, only waking up in a puddle of sweat.

To say you were obsessed with your boyfriend wasn't even close to the truth. It was more like an addiction. Every single part of him called to you. From his luscious lips to his beautiful brown eyes. All you wanted was to spend your life with him. He was your world.

Doyoung sighed and rubbed at his forehead. "This conversation has officially gone too far. Just let me sleep. I need to clear my head."

"Of course, Doyoung-ah," you said softly, rubbing his arm. "You should go rest."

"Thank you," he replied, standing up. He stretched his arms over his head and closed his eyes, breathing deeply.

After he left the room, you glanced over at Johnny. He gave you a seductive smile and placed a kiss on your forehead. "Sorry, babe. I can't help myself sometimes."

You laughed. "Me neither."

He laughed louder, throwing his head back. You giggled as you scooted closer to him and wrapped your arms around his chest.

"Do you really mean that? About you sharing me?" You asked softly.

"Only if it's Doyoung." Johnny kissed you. "Any other guy, I would never share you."

You kissed him back, pulling away. "I love you."

"Love you too," he replied, kissing you again.

The following day, you spent most of your time reading books. Doyoung came home early and asked if you wanted to grab lunch. Of course, you said yes. After he ate his sandwich, he mentioned that you hadn't been eating very much lately and was concerned about your health. You assured him that you were fine but that you were taking vitamins to ensure your health.

The two of you talked for hours until he suggested that you take a walk around the neighborhood. Once you both finished eating, you headed out, bundled up against the chilly weather. The breeze whipped around you and covered you in goosebumps. For the first time in a long time, you felt truly happy. Maybe you needed to stop reading so many books and spend more time outside enjoying nature.

When you returned home, Johnny was sitting on the couch, watching TV. You walked over and plopped down next to him, snuggling up against his side.

"How was your walk?" He asked.

"It was nice," you answered, closing your eyes. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Not at all, babe."

"Thanks, Johnny," you said, resting your head on his chest. "You're the best."

A few moments later, Johnny began playing with your hair. You moaned softly as his fingers tickled the nape of your neck.

"Mmm, that feels nice," you said.

"Good," he responded, moving his hand down to cup your ass. "Your cute butt makes everything feel better."

You giggled and wrapped your arms around his waist. "Oh, you know it does."

You closed your eyes as he continued to play with your hair, lightly stroking it. You could hear the TV behind you but ignored it as he began lightly kissing your jawline.

His hand slid down your stomach, coming to a halt at the top of your thigh. Slowly, he dragged his fingers up and down, causing you to shiver with anticipation. Before long, he pushed his hand under your shirt and slowly slid it under your bra, tracing circles over your nipple. You sucked in a breath as your nipple hardened and the pressure grew stronger, begging for release.

You pulled away from Johnny, breaking the kiss. "Doyoung is in hi-"

"Don't worry, baby," he cut you off, kissing your lips once more. "Even though he cusses us out, it's not like he hasn't seen a pair of tits before. Trust me, he won't mind."

You opened your mouth to respond but then stopped yourself. Was Doyoung going to come in and catch you two having sex? Would he call you out on it? Would he freak out and storm out of the apartment? Or maybe he wouldn't even care. That's what you had hoped for anyway.

Without thinking, you pressed your lips to Johnny's, forcing your tongue into his mouth. His moan made you grin wickedly and yank his shirt up, freeing his bare chest. Your hands ran over his toned abs, feeling his hard muscle ripple beneath your fingertips. With each pass, your arousal increased, pulsing within your panties. Finally, you pressed your fingers against his pants, slowly opening them.

Before long, you found yourself working your fingers under his boxers, ready to pull his stiff dick out. But before you could, you heard the door open and froze.

"What the hell are you doing, Johnny?" Doyoung shouted, startling you. "And you, you better not be pulling his dick out of his pants."

"Damn it, Doyoung!" You whined. "Why do you have to be such a cockblocker? Can't I fuck my boyfriend in the comfort of my own home? I have needs!"

"I have needs too," Doyoung retorted.

"Then why don't you just join us Doyoung?" Johnny asked. "Wouldn't you rather have some pussy than not have any? Can't you see how Y/N is practically dying for it?"

"Please, Doyoung?" You whined. "I'm so fucking horny that I don't even care whose dick I get anymore."

Doyoung sighed loudly and stepped towards the two of you. He stared down at you for a moment, his gaze intense. "Fine. Go ahead and do whatever you want."

You bit your bottom lip as you reached for Doyoung's belt buckle. As soon as your fingers touched his skin, he grabbed your wrist. "Wait, Y/N."

"I've waited too long, Doyoung-ah," you replied. "Let me have my fun. At least let me have a taste."

Doyoung looked at Johnny. "Are you sure you want to share your girlfriend with me? You'll probably end up regretting it later."

Johnny let out a chuckle. "If I wasn't fine with it then I wouldn't have suggested you join us in the first place. So please, sit down, shut the fuck up, and let Y/N suck your dick."

With that, Doyoung sat down on the couch, glaring at the two of you. You smiled at him, unable to contain your excitement as you crawled towards him, pushing his legs apart. When you reached his lap, you unbuttoned his jeans, revealing his already hard dick. Your breath caught as you looked down at it, watching as it twitched slightly.

Doyoung placed his hand on your head and directed you to his throbbing member. As soon as you wrapped your lips around his shaft, he moaned. With one hand, he held your head, guiding you as you bobbed your head up and down, getting a feel for his size. His scent was intoxicating, sending a wave of desire through your body. Without thinking, you tightened your grip on his dick and began sucking harder.

Johnny watched as you sucked Doyoung off, unable to believe how sexy his girlfriend was. Every time she pulled her mouth off of his dick, her cheeks would puff out as if she was panting. The sight of her face covered in saliva was driving him wild, especially since he knew it would lead to something else.

When you started sucking him with more force, Johnny turned to Doyoung. "Does that feel good?" He whispered.

"Fuck yeah," Doyoung grunted, tightening his grip on the back of your head. "So damn hot."

You grinned and moved your head down his shaft, licking at his balls. They tasted salty but sweet at the same time. It was almost too much for him to handle. As his dick swelled further in your mouth, you took it as an opportunity to tease him. After taking his entire length into your mouth, you pulled your mouth off and began licking the tip, causing Doyoung to groan loudly.

"How do you like his dick, baby?" Johnny asked you, his voice deep and raspy.

"Tastes delicious," you answered, letting your tongue trace circles around his head.

"God, Y/N," Doyoung breathed, leaning back.

"Look at how fucking sexy you look sucking his dick. Are you gonna suck mine like this?" Johnny asked.

Before you could answer, you felt Johnny's hand wrap around your waist. He pushed down your shorts, exposing your soaked panties. You gasped and lifted your hips, allowing him to pull them down.

"You didn't think I'd forget about this, did you?" He asked, gently running his finger across your clit.

"No, Johnny," you whispered, raising your hips higher as his finger brushed against your sensitive bud.

"Finish sucking Doyoung off, baby." Johnny muttered, pressing his finger harder against your pussy.

In response, you wrapped your lips around Doyoung's shaft again, making sure to lick his balls along the way. When you started sucking harder, Doyoung groaned, trying to fight back his orgasm. Suddenly, Johnny leaned forward and licked your inner thigh, causing you to jump. You looked at him questioningly but he just grinned at you, knowing exactly what he was doing. He trailed his tongue up your leg, finally reaching your wet center.

"Oh fuck," you gasped, raising your hips to meet his tongue. Within seconds, he was attacking your clit, sucking on it as he swirled his tongue around it. You felt as if you were going to burst right there. Even though Doyoung was being pleasured by your talented mouth, you couldn't stop thinking about how big and hard Johnny's cock must be.

"Whose dick do you want first, Y/N?" Johnny asked, still licking at your pussy. "Doyoung's? Mine's?"

Suddenly, you felt Doyoung lean back, freeing his cock from your mouth. When you looked up at him, you saw him gazing intently at you. His brown eyes glittered and he ran his thumb over his mouth. You weren't quite sure what he meant but decided to take matters into your own hands. Standing up, you straddled Doyoung's lap, sliding his hard cock inside of you.

You groaned as Doyoung rubbed your thighs, causing you to bounce up and down on his lap. With every thrust, his dick filled you up more and more. He wasn't quite as big as Johnny but it felt great nonetheless.

Doyoung pulled out momentarily before moving your body to face Johnny. He slid you back unto his cock, hands at your waist, your breasts bouncing up and down. Johnny licked his lips as he watched you ride Doyoung, his eyes glued to your pretty face. From the corner of your eye, you could see Doyoung smiling at the sight of you enjoying yourself.

After undressing himself, Johnny held out his dick to you. Your heart skipped a beat when you realized that he wanted you to suck him while Doyoung was busy thrusting into you. "Come on, baby. I know you want to suck me off. Fuck, you look so hot riding his dick."

Without hesitating, you lowered your mouth to his erection, wrapping your lips around his shaft. Johnny groaned loudly as you sucked on his cock, relishing the sound of your lips sliding up and down his length. In response, he cupped your breasts, kneading your soft flesh.

As you felt his dick swell in your mouth, you became even more eager to please him. Soon enough, his member was swelling with blood, becoming harder than ever before. Johnny pushed your hair back and guided your head onto his dick, moaning softly as he slid deeper into your throat. His moans echoed in your ears, making you moan in response.

Doyoung was still thrusting into you, filling you with pleasure. But as he got closer to his climax, you became distracted by the cock in your mouth.

Johnny groaned, looking down at you. "This feels so fucking good. Just look at you sucking my dick."

At that moment, you decided to switch things up, sliding your hand between your legs. Within moments, you were cumming all over Doyoung's cock, squirting juice everywhere.

Doyoung suddenly let out a loud grunt as he came, filling your tight hole with his semen. A second later, Johnny began pumping his load into your mouth, giving you more to swallow than you thought possible.

Once they finished, Doyoung collapsed onto the couch, leaving you alone with Johnny. For a moment, you didn't know what to say or do, other than stare into his gorgeous hazel eyes. Slowly, your fingers trailed up his neck, tracing little circles against his jawline.

"Johnny, I need you now." You whispered, running your tongue over his earlobe.

He nodded, placing his hands on your ass, lifting you up onto his lap. His eyes were heavy with lust as he lined his dick up with your dripping wet pussy. "Doyoung wasn't enough? Do you want more?"

"More than anything," you replied. "You're the only one who can satisfy me right now."

Johnny smirked and slowly entered you, watching as you moaned. As his dick stretched you open, you instinctively reached down, grasping his ass. "Ahh, fuck yes," Johnny groaned. "You're so fucking tight."

You bit your lip, grinding your hips into his as he fucked you harder. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, nails digging into his skin. "Make me cum, Johnny," you begged, tilting your hips upwards.

"Oh fuck," Johnny grunted, slamming into you. "Baby, did you like it when Doyoung fucked you? Did you love feeling him bury his dick inside of you?"

"Yes," you panted. "Fuck, I loved it."

"And you loved being fucked by me, right?" Johnny asked, grabbing both of your breasts, squeezing them roughly. "Did you like feeling me fill you with my dick? Tell me, Y/N."

Your reply was cut short as Johnny pounded into you faster, speeding up until he was fucking you relentlessly.

The next thing you knew, you were cumming yet again. Not only had Johnny filled you with his seed, but Doyoung had filled you with his. It was such an incredible feeling. When your orgasm subsided, you relaxed your hold on Johnny, bringing your head up to kiss him passionately. He moaned as he pressed his forehead against yours, gasping for air.

When you opened your eyes, you saw Johnny staring at you with a soft expression. He placed his hand on your cheek and brushed away a strand of hair that fell in front of your face. You leaned forward, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss.

"I love you, Y/N," he whispered.

A smile crept across your face as you looked down at him. "I love you, too."

Johnny pulled you close, kissing your nose. You snuggled into his chest, letting the weight of him rest on top of you. As he caressed your bare back, you felt contentment wash over you. This was home.

After awhile, after cuddling in each other's arms, you heard Doyoung get up from the couch. "You know...this was fun. If you need me, I'll be upstairs. Sleep well, guys."

"Goodnight, Doyoung," Johnny said.

Once he left the room, Johnny brought your hands up to his lips, kissing each one. "Are you ready for bed, Y/N?"

"Definitely."

That night, when you closed your eyes, you dreamt of nothing but the man in your arms.

#nct #nct stories #nct fanfic #nct imagines #nct 127 #nct smut #johnny #johnny suh #nct johnny #kim doyoung #doyoung #nct doyoung #doyoung smut #johnny smut #doyoung x reader #johnny x reader #johnny x reader x doyoung

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writtenbymisunderstoodnerds · 6 months

Text

Blind date (Tierna Davidson x Reader)

This is barely edited and I'm not sure if a museum like this even exists, but use your imagination. Hope you enjoy :)

Words: 2.5k

"Oi dumbass, get up," Tobin called from the bathroom before throwing a shoe at me when I didn't respond.

"Fuck off Tobin." I growled trying to go back to my nap.

"No, you have to get up."

"Why? There is literally nothing happening today."

"You have a date in a couple of hours that you need to plan."

I sat up, looking at her like she was crazy. A date was the last thing on my mind at the moment, the last thing I wanted to do, "What? With who?"

"You'll find out later."

Tobin didn't know who I had feelings for, but she knew they existed. Normally I would tell Tobin everything, but seeing as the person was her teammate, I decided against it for the time being, "Tobin what the hell? You know I have feelings for someone, why the hell would you set me up?"

"Because you've been pining after this person for almost a year without any thought of asking her out. Either you ask her out or you go on this date."

"I don't want to do either. One will make things awkward and the other will make me lead a poor girl on."

She rolled her eyes, "Suck it up, it's one date. You'll live."

"How do I even know where to take her? I have no plan, I know nothing about her, not even her name. You could have given me more then a couple hours notice."

"She likes art, museums, photography, music and Italian food. That should help, you have to make a real effort on this. As for more warning, that would have given you more chance to make up an excuse to get out of it."

There was no getting out of this. Tobin was stubborn just like me, there was no way she was going to cancel and this mystery women was going to show up regardless. It wasn't the mystery girls fault, so with that little bit of information I started to make a plan, "Okay fine. Tell her to wear something nice, but casual."

There was only an hour and a half until my date arrived, she was coming here first so Tobin could introduce us. I quickly made a call to one of my friends who happened to work at a nice Italian restaurant, there was a very slim chance of getting a reservation this late. Thankfully, my friend managed to come through and got the last reservation at her place.

After showering I got dressed changed into black skinny jeans, a maroon long sleeve button up, my black leather jacket and Chelsea ankle boots. As much as I didn't want this date I was going to put some effort in, after all it wasn't her idea so why take it out on her. Once dressed I moved onto my hair. My hair was shoulder length, red dyed hair. I was never one to put effort into my hair so I just went with a simple braid. There was a knock on the door as I was half way through the braid. Tobin yelled for me, "Hold your horses, I'll be out in a minute." I quickly finished the braid before heading back into the room. To my utter surprise, Tierna was standing next to Tobin. She was wearing light blue skinny jeans, a relaxed white blouse and a casual black blazer.

Tierna was the girl I had developed feelings for. Being team photographer, I had spent a fair amount of time with her and the team which had led to many friendships formed. Though my feelings had developed fairly quickly which had stopped me from building much of a friendship with Tierna out of fear and awkwardness. I didn't know if Tobin knew about my feelings for Tierna, but it would be one hell of a coincidence if she didn't.

I cleared my throat realising I had been staring for too long, "Uh hey Tierna."

Tierna smiled shyly, "Hi Y/n."

After a minute of slightly awkward silence, Tierna and I left the hotel. The slightly awkward silence continued as we walked down the street. Despite knowing Tierna, I had no idea where to even start a conversation. I struggled when not on a date with her, but I was even more nervous than normal. I had no idea if Tierna even liked me or if Tobin had set her up as well.

"So um how did Tobin get you to agree to this?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Tiernas cheeks flush red. She always was adorable when she blushed. "She called me out for liking you which was terrifying because she's your older sister and I was worried about being murdered."

I laughed a bit at that. Tobin was only protective when she needed to be, she never cared about me dating, but as soon as I got hurt, you should be afraid. "Oh no, Tobin doesn't care until someone hurts me. Wait, you like me? How?"

"Uh yeah. You were just so genuine and funny when we first met, it just kind of happened. I thought I was hiding it pretty well by not interacting with you much when we were alone, but apparently she caught be staring and blushing a lot. How did you get roped into this?"

"Well Tobin told me about 2 hours ago about this date and I had no choice. I didn't think she knew about my feelings for you, I'm starting to question that though. Did she say anything about it?"

"She said you liked me. I didn't really believe her, but I figured I would take the chance and come up with something later if it backfired. I'm sorry you were put on the spot."

"It's okay, I'm not mad about it. Well not anymore anyway. Just kinda nervous that this will be a crap date given my time constraints. If I had known it was you, I would have tried harder to make it what you deserve."

Tiernas cheeks flushed once again as she looked anywhere, but at me, "Honestly, I've been wanting this for a while now so I'm sure whatever you planned will be perfect because it's with you. What are we doing anyway?"

My heart fluttered at her confession. I never would have imagined Tierna ever feeling the same way. I wanted it to be a surprise though, "You'll see."

We made small talk while we walked. I was still being slightly awkward, it was to be expected. I hadn't been on a date in over a year, even before that it didn't happen often. My focus was for a long time on getting my career where it is now. "So you own your own photography company right? You're just contracted to us?"

I started out as a low level photographer at some pet photography place, I worked incredibly hard and managed to book a few non pet related shoots. Things just grew from there, soon enough I was opening my own photography business, doing shoots from birthdays to weddings to pretty much anything people wanted. I had grown to have a few people working for me so when I got approached about working with the USWNT I decided to take the position because it meant getting more time with my sister. I was a little bit surprised when they did approach because normally they just hire someone. Tobin had confessed a few months later that she had showed them my work and hyped me up.

"That's amazing, your family must be proud."

"My parents took a while to come to terms with it, I wouldn't say they're proud though. Tobin is proud, but thinks I need to get out more, that there's more to life than a job."

"It's more than just a job for you though, isn't it? You created something from the ground up, the way you talked about it's clear you love what you do."

"For the longest time I had no idea what I wanted to do. I was always envious of Tobin for knowing exactly what she wanted. I studied business because that's what my parents wanted, but I hated it, guess it came in handy though."

Tierna stopped walking to look at me, curiosity covering her face, "Why photography? That's a big jump from business."

I started walking again, we had to get to the museum so we had time to have a proper look around before dinner. Also, spending too much time looking at Tierna made me even more nervous. This was probably the longest we had spent alone or spoken to each other. "I know right. There's not some big story behind it. One of my friends was an arts major and needed help with a photo one day. It was fun and I guess I was hooked. From there I just started doing it. To say the least, my parents didn't necessarily approve at first which in a way drove me to where I am now. Oh we're here."

The museum was a very large glass building, lit up on the outside by white lights. Tiernas expression instantly lit up with excitement as she kind of bounced up and down, "It's beautiful. I love museums. This is the one that just opened right?"

"Yup." I took her hand dragging her inside. What could I say? I was super excited. Once we were inside I became painfully aware that I was still holding her hand. She didn't make any move to pull it away though so I didn't either. Our hands remained joined as we walked around though as we walked we continued to get closer. At one point, Tierna ended up cuddled against my side as I rambled about something random. I don't think I've ever felt so flustered yet excited and comfortable at the same time. All I knew was I wanted that to happen more often.

This museum had a lot of different areas to it. It was pretty much all the different types in one. Science, space, history and art all in one. I'm pretty sure there was also a marine mammal section which for me is a close second to the space section. At heart I was a giant nerd, I loved it all especially space. The look on Tiernas face told me she loved it. It was a relief. This date didn't mean much it the beginning, it was just a forced thing. Now that I knew it was Tierna, I kind of wish I had done more.

"While I could stay here all night, we have to go." Tierna pouted, I knocked her shoulder gently with mine to get her to stop, "Nope, stop that. We have dinner reservations so if you don't want to eat we can stay."

"Hmm fine, I guess I am hungry."

We left the museum, hands still intertwined. Walking down the street I listened to Tierna talk about all her favourite parts of the museum. She was rambling again, I didn't mind though. I liked listening to her talk. Her voice was soft and soothing yet slightly raspy. Yup, I didn't mind at all. We came to a stop outside the restaurant. It was a small family run Italian place, that had amazing food.

"No way, I love this place. Didn't Tobin only tell you about our date like 2 hours before? How did you get a reservation? This place is usually booked out on a Friday."

"My friend works here, she managed to get us in."

The awkwardness had long disappeared and conversation became easier. During dinner I got to know Tierna better. Anyone who knew Tierna knew she was on the more quiet side, but she easily talked about her childhood, likes, dislikes, hobbies and pretty much anything else. Turns out I loved listening to her talk. I was also paying special attention to her likes, dislikes and hobbies for future dates or gifts. I had every intention of spoiling Tierna if we our relationship developed. Tierna deserved the world and I would do my best to give it to her if she let me.

Eventually our reservation time came to an end so we made our way outside. Tierna started shivering instantly so I slipped my jacket off and wrapped it around her shoulders, "Here."

"You're going to be cold," Tierna protested.

"I'm fine, I don't get cold that easily. You need it more than me."

"Thank you. I know you didn't really want this, but I've had an amazing time tonight Y/n/n."

Tierna stepped closer as I retook her hand, lacing our fingers together. She pulled me closer so we were almost touching. "I've wanted this since we met T. This just wasn't how I wanted it to happen, but I'm also glad it did because I don't think I would have told you anytime soon."

I made the last move, pulling her in and connecting our lips in a slow kiss. It was tentative at first, both slightly unsure and nervous. After a few seconds, Tiernas hand cupped the back of my neck, deepening the kiss. My confidence rose with that, my arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her against me. Normally, kissing someone like this on a public sidewalk was not something I would ever do, PDA made me incredibly uncomfortable, but I was finally kissing the girl I've wanted for almost a year. Let's just say it felt incredible. When air became a problem, we slowly pulled away, a smile spread across my face as a giggle slipped out. There wasn't anything else planned for tonight, though I really didn't want the night to end yet.

I racked my mind for anything that we could do when I remembered an ice cream shop that was open late, "Do you want to get ice cream and walk along the pier? I know a place that's still open."

Tierna cuddled against my side as we started walking again, "I would love to."

"Good because I don't want tonight to end yet."

Tobin smirked as I flopped down on my bed with a no doubt dopey smile. It was well after midnight so I was slightly hoping Tobin was asleep. I didn't want to deal with her smugness, not when there was still some resentment there.

"So how was the date?"

"How long have you known about my feelings?"

"A little while now. You're not really shy unless feelings are involved and normally you will talk to anyone, but you always got shy around T, you never really interacted much with her, always looking at her when she wasn't paying attention. Now how was the date?"

"It was really good. Thank you Toby."

"Anytime."

"No, literally never do this again. You have no idea how pissed I was at you, then how nervous I was that my plan wasn't good enough for Tierna. I know she liked it, but if I ever got the chance I wanted to make it really special. Like she deserves."

"I'm sorry, I just didn't think you would believe me if I told you she like you. It went well though? Did you make your move?"

I recounted our night as I got ready for bed, already knowing I would be too excited to sleep. Tierna and I were going out for brunch tomorrow. While I used to try my best to not be alone with her, now I couldn't wait to see her again. I couldn't wait to see how our relationship developed.

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #tierna davidson imagine #tierna davidson #woso x reader #woso imagines

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that-sarcastic-writer · 8 months

Text

Safe haven (5)

Soldier Boy/Ben X F!Paramedic!Reader

Summary: You go back to the station, and Ben realizes just how much he doesn't want you to go. He also finds out something very important about you

Warnings: foul language, sexual innuendos (Ben being ben), minors dni, minor drug use, slowest of burns (but eventual smut), no use of y/n

WC: 3.8k

A/N: see were making progress! I'm really happy I decided to give this story a second try. I found my old tag list so I will tag whoever had asked to be tagged for this series. If you had changed your mind feel free to shoot me an ask so I don't tag you in the next parts. Enjoy for now!

Previous part | Series Masterlist | Soldier Boy Masterlist

Thirteen months.

Thirteen fucking months.

Thirteen months of waking up the same, and for the first time, you didn't wake up in a sweat, face covered in tears. For the first time, you didn't wake up with that feeling of dread in your chest.

For the first time in thirteen months you woke up happy to be alive.

The hardwood floors were cold as you padded through your bedroom, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You were supposed to go back to the station today. You could only take so many sick days before you actually had to give a reason. You hadn't exactly told Ben of this yet. You still had a few hours before you were supposed to head to the station, you'd tell him soon enough.

You honestly broke your own record with how fast you got ready this early in the morning. You normally dragged yourself around the house, not knowing if you were even still alive or if you had become a phantom in your empty house. But lately, you didn't feel so gone.

You sat in front of your bureau, a reminder of the more vintage ambiance of your grandparents' farmhouse, one your father inherited, and later was left to you when your father retired with your mother somewhere with mountains. And your older brothers couldn't wait to see the day they left New York. And let's not talk about your sister, somewhere in Europe in some fancy five star hotel and some stuck up CEOs in tight suits driving her up a wall. She had been the only one out of the four children to not choose a field job like you and your brothers. So ultimately, the large farmhouse meant to house a family of six was left to just you.

But you guessed with Ben still around, it was like caring for three children all in one.

Your mind went to Ben, you wondered if he had slept at all. You often heard him walk late into the night. Or on restless nights of your own, you would sleepily walk into the kitchen to hear the TV play quietly in your living room, which always made you assume he was awake since he had taken possession of the guest bedroom by then. Your fingers mindlessly dug through the tiny box of your jewelry in search of your ear studs as you sat in thought. You still were unsure why he hadn't left. You knew he wasn't planning on leaving town anytime soon, with his fucked up idea of killing Homelander, somehow, but you had expected him to want to take care of his business on his own. Surely you knew he had learned his way around town by now, in spite of your protest, he had been to the city on his own a couple more times after your conversation.

And yet, he always came back.

Your mind slipped from your thoughts at the touch of a familiar ring. Your eyes slowly dropped to the box and you swallowed a lump as you held the tiny jewelry between your fingers. A silver band, the only diamonds being tiny and engraved into the thin band. You weren't one for hand jewelry, not with your job. That was one safety hazard if you knew one. So this ring, though simple, was perfect. And you hadn't dared look at it for a very long time.

Somehow, when you held it in your hand, you didn't feel pain, nor sorrow. You smiled with fondness instead.

You inhaled a deep breath as you set the ring down and dug through one of your drawers. It took you a minute, you had purposely hidden it well, in an attempt to forget about it perhaps, but you ultimately found it. A shaky laugh fell from your lips as you held the photo frame in your hands. That one black and white engraved frame you hung on your wall for years. You looked long and hard. It had been a long time since you had seen your wedding dress.

Another soft laugh left your lips as you held the photo in your hand, and tears filled your eyes. But this time, this time they weren't tears of sadness, or anger, or sorrow, no, they were tears of relief.

You felt that weight leave your chest and you could breathe again.

"Don't smoke that shit inside," You scolded Ben as you eventually came downstairs. You didn't see him right away, but you could smell the joint. You saw his head barely peeking from the couch. "You're gonna stink up the whole place."

Ben half took his eyes from the book in front of him— one you had bought him about PTSD and anxiety, one he chewed you about not needing, that he didn't have PTSD and whatnot. But you had caught him reading it the following day, so he didn't bother hiding it anymore.

"You literally bought me the fucking thing." Ben argued, sitting up and his eyes followed you as you walked back and forth, dressed like you were going somewhere, actually going somewhere.

"Don't care. It's my house, remember? Smoke outside or something. I really don't like going to the station reeking of weed." You answered back, shooting him a stern look before you found the pair of shoes you were looking for and shoved them inside your duffel bag.

Ben furrowed his eyebrows at you and set his book aside, fully sitting now, "You going somewhere?"

You tilted your head at his tone, demanding and authoritative. You widened your eyes at him as if to give him the obvious answer.

"I have a job, remember? The reason I found you in the first place? You said you couldn't just stay here forever right? Well neither can I." You said with a shrug and you left him with that, leaving him to go to the kitchen to make yourself coffee before having to drive out to the city.

You heard his heavy footsteps follow behind you, but you didn't bother looking at him, you could feel his eyes burning into the back of your head.

"So you were just gonna leave for days and not say shit?" Still that same tone. He sounded upset even.

You turned your head to look at him with disbelief, was he really angry about you leaving?

"I work forty-eight on and seventy-two off. I would've come back the day after tomorrow." You explained with a sigh, leaving the coffee brewing and basically shoving him out of your way as you went back and forth between the fridge and kitchen island. "Besides, I'm telling you now."

He was still in your way, large body acting as a wall in front of you and his eyes were sharp on following your every movement. You tried to ignore him and his brooding expression, but he made it pretty much impossible.

"Oh yeah, that's real fucking considerate of you sweetheart, thank you." He laughed, but his tone was anything but humorous, if anything it sounded like a mixture of exasperation and disbelief.

"Stop fussing. You sound like a child." You rolled your eyes at him, attempting to reach past him for one of the cabinets, but he stood in your way like a defiant child.

"Can't you, I don't know, ask for more days off?" You laughed at his question, which only made him furrow his eyebrows even deeper.

"How long do you think I've been here with you? I have a certain amount of sick days, I can't just take a whole week without reason," You explained, irritation starting to grow on you as well. Your answer didn't seem to convince him in the slightest, you groaned, "I have to work, Ben, I got bills to pay. You'll be fine on your own. Things are better now so you can do as you please, go where you please. Do your own thing."

He frowned at your words, his jaw ticking ever so slightly at the implication of your words. Were you telling him to leave?

Ben watched you finally reach past him to grab your favorite mug, and you were about to turn your back to him, but he grabbed your arm. Despite your short protest, he held you, pressing your back against the counter, keeping you between it and the wall that was his body. His eyes were hard on your face and his lips were in a tight line.

"I don't want to go anywhere. And I don't want you to, either." He sighed out, irritation of his own slipping through. He bowed his head, enough to speak to your eye level, and his piercing green eyes never left yours. "It's not safe out there."

"It never is, Ben. Not with super powered fuckers like you doing what they want out there. But I have a job I have to do. I helped you, did I not? It's what I do."

He understood, truly he did. He admired you even, for what you did, for the risks you took for the lives of others. But he wanted you to be selfish, he wanted you to put your own life first. You didn't understand how bad it had gotten.

"You're not hearing me. It's not safe. Remember that building collapse on 7th?" You parted your lips with confusion, unsure what that accident had to do with anything, but you nodded anyway. "Well it wasn't an accident. Fucking Homelander was trying to teach his little shit of a kid some target practice. Their fucking lasers and their flying tore through some unsupported part of the building and it collapsed."

Your eyes widened with realization. You saw it on the news, not even two days ago, the building was being remodeled and the construction was faulty, so all of the workers inside that building died. But you thought it was just some freak accident. God you felt so sick, if Ben hadn't been holding such a tight grip on your arm you probably would've slipped.

"Everyone inside that building died. They died because that motherfucker thought he could bond with his freak son in the middle of downtown. Do you understand how fucked up that is? And that's coming from me." He was still all up in your face, you didn't want to look at him. But you forced yourself to meet his eyes. And once again, you couldn't read the emotions behind his eyes, but you knew they were anything but good.

"Okay and what the fuck do you want me to do about that? I've been dealing with the aftermath of Vought's mess for years. I was there after Midtown for fuck's sake."

His jaw ticked at the mention and his eyes fell to the side averting yours. And for a second you regretted using that against him, knowing he had regretted it and had been making great efforts to avoid another tragedy like that.

"I didn't blow up half a block because I was bored for Christ sake. It ain't the same." He said sharply, but you didn't know if he was trying to convince you or himself. You opened your mouth to speak but he shook his head, moving away from you now. "I just want you here, out of my way while I take care of it. Why do you gotta be so goddamn stubborn?"

Your mouth was left open, looking for words to say, but none ever came. You were staring at him as he leaned back against the kitchen island, a hand in his hair as he exhaled heavily. Did he care that much about what happened to you? You knew he liked being around, or at least enough not to leave, but you figured he had become indifferent about you once he realized he wasn't getting in your bed.

"Ben," You said his name softly as you dared to stand close in front of him, enough for him to have to tilt his head to meet your eyes. He didn't look at you right away, so you continued. "I understand you want this guy gone, and I get it won't be pretty when you get to him, but you can't keep me here. I can take care of myself, been doing so for a while. I don't need protection."

Ben stared past your head, afraid that if he looked in your eyes he'd have no way to argue back, not when you spoke with such conviction and with that fire in your eyes. He looked up at the ceiling. He wasn't a religious man, he didn't pray, but right now he was begging his shit to stay far away from you.

"I need you out of my way. I want you far away from Supes. On the other fucking side of town far. Do you hear me?" He finally met your gaze, his eyebrows were pulled together as were his lips and his hands came up to hold your face.

"What are you getting yourself into? This won't end well." Your words were quiet as your face fixed into a frown of your own, your anxiety stronger than the warm feeling his hands brought you.

"We had this conversation before. Worry about yourself. I need you safe. If you get a call about aiding supes, that pretty ass of yours better turn the other fucking way."

You couldn't help but laugh a bit at his choice of words, but he squeezed your face tighter as if to show he wasn't joking. You sighed heavily.

"Just don't blow up half a block of innocent bystanders and I'll stray clear of your way. But I can't make any promises other than I'll take care of myself." You finally said, your hands coming to pull his wrists, the feeling of his hands touching your face with such tenderness yet warning made you feel things you weren't sure you wanted to feel. "Now I'll ask that you let me finish getting ready to work because I know I can't outrun you even if I tried."

His lips irked up, "I'd let you try. But it would probably end with you on your back. Definitely wouldn't be leaving this house for days."

The smirk he gave you left you feeling heat in your face and you wanted to punch something. How did this man end up making you feel this way after so long? Why him out of all men? Life truly just couldn't give you a break.

"Fuuuuck. Goddammit." Ben cursed at himself as he threw the cushions back on the couch.

He had been looking for that one post note that had your cell number on it. You had left early that morning and he hadn't heard from you since, the sun was starting to set now. He was feeling restless, with an ache in his chest like he wanted to blow something up. Not even the weed had been helping him.

Where the fuck did you leave that note?

He had looked everywhere. Everywhere but your bedroom. He hadn't stepped foot in your bedroom in the time had been here, not once. You never invited him in, so he never went. He was a dick, but even then, there were some lines he couldn't cross. But he ran out of options and places to look. You didn’t have to know he was in your bedroom. It wasn’t like he would touch— much.

He wasn't sure what exactly he was expecting, you obviously weren’t the type to decorate your space with expensive shit. But even then he thought your bedroom matched you perfectly. He walked in, eyeing around for any surfaces where you could have possibly left it. He walked around like a lost child for a minute or two until he ultimately stopped at your bureau. He spotted a notepad and a pen scattered on the vanity.

Seriously?

He rolled his eyes at you, wondering just how the fuck he was supposed to just know you had left it here? He grabbed the notepad, a phone number scribbled in your handwriting in big letters. He ripped out the page, intending to leave your bedroom as soon as possible, before his curiosity got the best of him. But he couldn’t help himself, he was hyperaware by nature. And his eyes found a ring, what he thought looked like an engagement ring just sitting on your vanity. It was hard to miss. He didn’t think about it, he picked it up. He eyed the thin silver band with narrowed eyes, it was definitely an engagement ring.

Were you engaged?

The gears turned in his head as he held the ring between his fingers. He tried to remember if he had seen any signs that another man had lived here. He didn’t remember. You had given him clothes that fit him pretty well, but you had brushed it off as just having brothers. He believed you then, but now? He was questioning it.

He set the ring down and went through your drawers. Just underwear. You had a lot of lacy shit. He smirked a bit at the image of you in a lacy lingerie set. God, he would kill for that. Though he didn’t have time to get hard at the thought when his fingers touched a photo frame hiding in between a layer of clothes. He took it and his eyes grew in size.

You, in a wedding dress and a man embracing you. He frowned at the photo. You clearly had a type. The man in the photo looked taller, taller than you at least, long brown hair that was tucked behind the man’s ears and fair skin. God, you looked so happy. A smile so wide, you were glowing, you looked so beautiful.

Ben chewed on the inside of his cheek with disdain as he dropped the frame on the vanity, rather harshly. He huffed out a breath of exasperation, his skin growing hot. His fists were clenched at his sides as he walked around your bedroom some more. You were married, you must’ve kept your husband’s things somewhere, right?

Your walk-in closet door was closed. He pursed his lips as he invited himself in. His eyes grew a bit. Jesus, why did this woman have so many clothes? He shook his head to himself as he looked around. It was mostly your clothes, and your shoes were scattered all over the floor. He kept looking though, and he found a corner, men’s clothes hung from hangers. They definitely looked like the clothes you had given him. A couple boxers were backed into the corner. And out of the corner of his eye he saw a name scribbled in black marker.

Hunter.

“No seriously, how's Rowan holding up? Parenting beating his ass yet?” You laughed at the question from your buddy, Michael. You thought about what answer to give, you had never actually gone to see your brother after all, but everyone at the station thought so.

“He said he was really missing the station, he would actually get a full night's sleep there.” You weren’t lying, you talked to your brother regularly. They laughed in response.

You opened your mouth to comment some more, but you were cut off by your phone ringing in your pocket. You scrunched up your face a bit as you looked at your phone screen. It read; landline. You closed your eyes in realization, your heart started to race.

What did he do now?

You excused yourself to answer the call. With a long sigh you held your phone to your ear.

“You can’t figure out a cell phone but you still remember how to use a landline?”

You heard a low chuckle from the other end, “They’re simpler. The amount of things on your phone is unsettling.”

“They’re called apps, you old man.” You snorted, leaning your shoulder into a wall, your lips irked up at the sound of him grumbling to himself. “What do you want, Ben? Did you burn my kitchen down, or did you blast a hole through a wall?”

“Christ, what I would give to shut that smart mouth of yours. You must give mind blowing head if you work like you talk.” He said the words so casually you had to hold your phone away from you to process. You closed your eyes and groaned out softly.

“You’re disgusting, and I’m at work. If you just called to antagonize me I'm hanging up.”

“Aw c’mon. I just wanted to hear your voice, play nice.” You rolled your eyes, you could just hear the smirk roll off his tongue with each word. You could see that stupid smirk on his face in your head. At least he couldn’t see you, because you couldn’t hide the flustered look on your face.

“Why do you want to hear my voice?” You dared to ask, lowering your voice so as not to overshare with your coworkers, you hadn't exactly mentioned you had a walking hard on hiding in your house.

“So I can finish rubbing one out.”

“I’m hanging up now.” You were moving your phone away from your ear again when you heard him protest, saying your name with a laugh. You groaned again.

“Okay, okay, c’mon loosen up. You know you missed me,” He chuckled, sniffling softly as he puffed out a cloud of smoke, you weren’t there to yell at him. You bit your lip softly, you were trying to force away a smile, but you couldn't prevent your face from heating up. Your silence made him laugh in a way that made your stomach turn. “You doing okay? You haven’t found my replacement yet, have you?”

“Working on it,” You chewed on your bottom lip, looking over your shoulder. The guys had started running around, shouting indistinct orders. Well shit. “Listen, I think we got a call. I’m fine Ben. Stop fussing. I gotta go.”

Ben sucked in a sharp breath, he kept his mouth shut as he heard you speak to somebody on your end, and he couldn't help his chest ached with anxiety. “Listen sweetheart—”

He caught himself mid sentence, he wasn’t the most rational man on earth, he normally didn’t give a fuck about rationality, but maybe, maybe right now just wasn’t the time. So he swallowed his pride.

“Stay safe.” He finally said, his eyes glued to the ceiling as he dropped his head back against the wall.

“You too Ben.”

He flinched at the loud beeping in his ear and he grunted, slamming the phone back on the wall. He squeezed his eyes shut, holding back the urge to slam his fist through the wall. He hated this feeling, the lack of control he had. Fuck. He had way more important things to worry about. Find Butcher and the kid, kill Homelander, clear his name. Why the fuck did he care so much about a piece of ass he couldn’t even have?

You’ve gotten soft, Ben.

#soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy x you #soldier boy smut #soldier boy #safe haven #safe haven series

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rogersideup · 9 months

Text

Nice to be Kneaded

Chapter twelve

Homecoming

Series Masterlist

Previous Part: Courage Next Part: Cardboard Castle

Word Count: 7,220

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI. Mentions of medical equipment, loss, abuse, PTSD, anxiety and depression.

"Alright, just a small pinch." Bruce explained to you before inserting an IV catheter into a vein in the ditch of your arm.

This moment felt a little unreal. Sitting criss-crossed in an armchair in the Avengers living room in their own compound somewhere in upstate New York. Bruce Banner, the fucking hulk, on your left giving you medical attention, and Steve on your right, holding your hand giving you emotional support.

After a whole night of Steve trying his hardest to nurse you back to health with lots of love, cuddles, and bribery in the form of your favorite Chinese food, you just couldn't keep anything down.

Even though you wanted to drink and you desperately wanted to shove Crab Rangoons down your throat, you just couldn't. Half a glass of water and two bites of fried rice had you feeling nauseous and uncomfortable. This time, the discomfort wasn't from trying to out eat a super soldier.

Steve was such a sweetheart, he didn't push it too hard, but he did push for exactly what was happening right now. Some fluid and parental nutrition through an IV to get you right on track for a smooth recovery from what the agents put you through. He could tell that although settling more and more by the minute, your nerves were still off the chart. Your lack of eating made perfect psychological sense, but he still wanted you to feel better.

So he convinced you to let Bruce do this, and you agreed without hesitation. The lack of medical environment and the never ending warmth you've felt from every Avenger you've met thus far made you feel comfortable and brave enough for something like this. Really, it was no biggy.

The IV went in without a hitch, and you barely even felt it.

"Okay, I'm going to flush this out with a little bit of saline. It might taste kind've metallic in your mouth for a few moments. That's normal." He told you while inserting a syringe looking thing into the end of the line going straight to your vein.

Just like he said, you tasted metal. "Ooh" Your eyebrows pinched together. "Weird."

"I think it tastes like expo markers" Steve commented.

"How do you know what expo markers taste like?" Natasha asked, head leaning to the side with a grin.

"I don't know... it just tastes how they smell." He shrugged.

"You're so weird, Rogers." She commented before looking back down at her laptop.

You giggled at her comment before biting your tongue considering he was right next to you.

"Come on, back me up, Sweetie." He asked.

"I wish I could" You laughed. "But I have no idea what you're talking about."

He pouted, Bruce didn't even give him a chance to rebuttal. "You're all set and ready to go. The bag should be done in about an hour then I'll come take the IV out."

"Thank you, Bruce, I appreciate it." You grinned.

"Of course, I'll be back in a bit." He gave you a polite nod before leaving again.

As Bruce left, Nat sprung up from her spot on the couch and approached you and Steve before knocking his hand off of yours.

"Let me have her" Nat said, walking around the back of your chair.

"What the f- Nat!" Steve complained.

"Stealing his girl and he still won't drop the f bomb" She teased, running her fingers through your hair that you washed yesterday but had yet to do anything with.

You had no idea what was going on, but you remembered the first warning Steve gave you about being around the Avengers, there would always be chaos. So you sat there with an uncontrollable smile as Nat played with your hair, and Steve argued with her like a child.

"You aren't stealing anyone from me." Steve whined. "What are you doing? Did you even ask?"

"She has such beautiful hair, I want to braid it." Nat answered Steve, then leaned over to see your face. "Is that alright, Cupcake?"

"That's more than alright" You grinned.

"Cupcake?!" Steve puffed playfully. "I know you're not calling my girl Cupcake."

"How is it any different than sugar cookie?" Nat asked as your cheeks blushed at Steve calling you his girl.

"I don't know, it just sounds patronizing." He complained.

"Do you feel patronized, Cupcake?" Nat asked you, parting your hair from behind the armchair you were sitting in.

"This feels like a trap." You giggled, reaching out to hold Steve's hand again. He accepted it quickly, then gave it a little squeeze.

"Smart girl" Nat smiled.

The three of you chatted away while she sectioned your hair down the middle, and worked on the first of the two french braids she was putting into your hair.

Once it was finished she tied off the end with a hair tie, then worked on the next one on the other side. You guys were so preoccupied I'm the easy flowing conversation that the opening door, and approaching footsteps went unnoticed.

"What is this?" An iconic voice asked, immediately sending a shiver down your spine.

You looked from Steve's laughing face over to the source, none other than Tony Stark. Steve's face fell into an expression that was much more guarded, and you immediately felt uncomfortable.

He warned you about everything. Talking raccoons, blue Cyborgs, bickering, weapons you might see, emergency codes you might hear. You felt prepared for every situation but this one.

You didn't know what terms Steve and Tony were on, but you did know he was one of the most powerful people in the country. Quite honestly, you didn't even know if you were allowed to make eye contact, or speak unless spoken to. So you sat respectfully quiet, and tried to keep your cool.

No one responded to Tony as he pointed to you, a measly little thing sitting criss cross in a chair wearing Steve's clothes that were far too big for you, with an IV in your arm, all while Natasha braided your hair.

"Make a wish foundation?" Tony asked again.

"Oh god, Tony-" Steve scuffed, shaking his head.

"Okay? Another super-person I need to worry about?" Tony's eyes went from Steve's to Natasha's, everyone but your own.

"Well, she's certainly super, that's for sure" Natasha smiled.

"So, no one's going to tell me who you are?" Tony finally asked you, looking at you directly.

You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out, so you looked at Steve to help guide you through this. He could see the worried look in your eye, so he took over.

"This is my-" Steve stared fully confident before realizing that you didn't even really have a title in his life.

Girlfriend. No? He never officially asked you to be his considering you both knew he had to leave.

Friend? Kind've, but not really?

Neighbor was an absolute no, you were way more than just a friendly face next door.

He looked at you, and you were thinking the same thing he was. The confused look on his face made you bite the insides of your cheeks to hold back laughter.

"Well I'm certainly a girl, and I'm definitely his friend." You took the pressure off of him. If the two of you were doing down, you would go down together.

"Wait a second," Tony started. "You're sugar cookie?"

"Didn't know I had a reputation around here, but I guess so." You confirmed.

"No way." Tony shook his head. "Let me see your hands"

With reluctance and no confidence whatsoever, your put your hands out to him. He walked closer and saw the scar on your palm.

"Well no shit!" He enthused. "A baker who caught a falling knife, you're real! That's incredibly stupid by the way, you should always let the knife drop."

"Why are you here, Tony." Steve redirected him, you could hear the annoyance in his voice and feel the tension in the room.

"Just here to grab some stuff then I'll be out of your hair." Tony addressed him, then immediately started pestering you again. "So, what's wrong with you?"

"Oh, I just- I was arrested and it's bee-"

"No" Tony cut you off. "I mean which wires are loose in your head that makes you want to play stuffin' the muffin with Rogers?"

"Enough." Steve put his foot down.

"Leave her alone, Stark." Nat sounded from behind you.

"Damn, tough crowd. Reminds me of exactly why I'm leaving for the woods and never coming back." Tony quipped. "Peace out."

You watched as Tony left, and Steve let out a breath of annoyance. You didn't need to see Nat's face to know she was holding back a smile.

Silence fell over the three of you for a little while, it seemed as though Steve was steaming in a lump of his own negative emotions over the billionaire while Nat kept her mouth shut as to not fuel the fire.

In attempts to calm him down without even needing to use your words, while simultaneously comforting yourself, you pulled his forearm onto the arm of the chair you were sitting in. You played with his fingers and rubbed his soft skin.

When the second braid was done, Nat tied off the end then hugged you from behind while excusing herself to get some work done.

Still feeling emotionally and physically exhausted from the past few days, you readjusted with your IV arm out where it should be, but curled your legs beneath you and rested your head on Steve's arm.

You could feel him relax under your touch, and his hand moved up to gently cup the side of your head before placing a kiss to your temple.

"M'sorry about that" Steve apologized quietly. "Really wasn't expecting him to be around today... or ever."

"Don't apologize, it's not your fault." You reminded him. "Never thought I'd be here, but this is definitely a story I'll tell my grandkids one day."

Steve giggled at your comment, the thought of you old and grey with grand kids running around with endless cookies in their hands made him smile. "I never really thought you'd be here either but I'm glad you are."

"As cool as this is though, I can't wait to get back to Greenwood." You explained, feeling homesick. You barely ever left the small town, so being away combined with the three most terrifying days of your life, you were longing for your own house.

"I can't even tell you how much I miss it." Steve shook his head in disbelief. "I miss the bakery."

"The bakery misses you too, she told me every day." You joked.

"I wonder if Bruce can make this IV drip faster so we can leave sooner" Steve pondered.

Unfortunately for Steve, he had to wait the full hour before he could take you home. But luckily, getting you home was a breeze.

You were a rockstar in the Jet, to Steve's surprise, you found in interesting. Tiny bits of your personality were starting to shine back through as you asked him a million and one questions about what everything did on board. He was more than happy to answer every single question, and let you push every single button so long as it didn't interfere with a smooth flight.

Sometimes he found it really easy to normalize these aspects of his life that were completely out of the ordinary to the average civilian. He didn't know if it was because it was a survival tactic of his own, or because he so desperately craved to feel normal even when most of his life was everything but average, but he found so much happiness and beauty in sharing moments like this with you.

You quickly brought him back to earth, and your childlike curiosity and amazement for even something as simple as transportation that was a normal part of life as a superhero reminded him of all the ways his life was enriched.

This time bringing the Jet to Greenwood was a lot more welcomed with a lot more accommodations. The police department cleared Steve to land in their private runway and store it in their hangars. Immediately upon exiting, you were met with the chief and a few officers who came to check in on you and make sure you were okay. And for the first time ever, you saw Steve hold himself high and be greeted with respect by anyone in Greenwood.

The police escorted you two home, which lead to more fascination by you because you had never been in a police car before. Steve reminded you more than once that it was a really great thing that this was a whole new experience for you, but once again he couldn't stop smiling.

Both of you had never felt more relief than when he opened the car door and helped you out. Waiting for you in your driveway was a handful of your friends and neighbors who were worried sick about you, and had heard about your arrival back home.

While each one greeted you with long, tight hugs, hair pets, back rubs, and cheek kisses, Steve watched from a slight distance while he sorted out the rest of the information the police needed to make sure you were as safe as could be.

His heart was happy knowing you were so loved by your community, and when he caught a glimpse of all the flowers and letters and pictures in his own driveway that you had told him about, he couldn't help but to feel loved as well.

After Steve introduced himself to everyone at your homecoming, he got you back in your house safe and sound. Right back where the journey started, you picked your phone up from underneath the couch and plugged it in.

He could see it on your face that you were still drained regardless of the excitement of getting back home. Some of your employees and friends had promised they'd be over at your place tonight with dinner and good company to try and ease up the hardship of the past few days, so now was a good time to leave you alone.

You were thankful to have someone like him who understood your needs without even having to express them, someone who understood the value of processing your thoughts by yourself without being offended.

So he tucked you into your bed, then sat next to your hip before giving you a series of sweet kisses.

"Are you doing okay?" He questioned genuinely.

You grinned and nodded, feeling relaxed and relieved. "thank you for rescuing me, Stevie."

"That's what I'm here for, Sunflower." He rubbed your cheek with his thumb. "I'll be back here in a few hours, but if you need me before then you know where I live."

A smile took over your face, then a thought occurred. "Hey, can I have your real phone number now?"

"Are you hitting on me?" Steve questioned cheekily.

"Of course I am" You confirmed. "What's a pretty boy like you doing all alone in this part of town?"

He shook his head at your antics, before giving you another kiss. "Yes, you can have my real phone number now."

"I'm really moving on up in this world." You celebrated.

"I'll put it in your phone on my way out." He assured you. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay" You agreed as he tucked you in tighter.

"I love you" He reminded you sincerely.

"I love you too" You happily wrapped your arms around him in a goodbye hug, this time you kissed him. "So so much."

He said goodbye then put his real personal phone number in your contacts just as promised before making his way to his house. Checking the inside before dealing with the fanfare in the front, he found something he suspected, the loss of some of his clothes.

But, everything else was just as he left it but tidier. He could tell you had gone in there a few times to clean up and make sure everything was as it should be.

After checking upstairs he made his way back down to the garage to open up the big door to make clearing out the front of his house a lot easier. The pile of broken down cardboard boxes neatly stacked against the wall reminded him that he still owed you a cardboard castle.

Steve opened up the door and spent hours picking up each letter and reading every word, looking at every picture, saving every little shield and stuffed animal that was left for him. Some of the kind words brought tears to his eyes, most of them were words of thanks for what he and the Avengers did and how they continued to be a beacon of hope during uncertain times.

It reminded him of how much had changed since he was in Greenwood last, it looked a little different, felt a little different, but now it was a little different. Because as neighbors walked by they finally made it a point to introduce themselves and apologize that they had never come by before now.

The a few of the neighbors kids even came out to talk to him, their parents pulling them away after asking for a picture. This time around, the eyes on him felt starstruck rather than judgmental.

Although some of it felt hypocritical, he was happy to be back and involved in a community rather than having to isolate himself and hide from the world. Every word, every picture, every dead flower and passing neighbor felt bitter sweet.

That was until he was in the middle of reading another letter he had picked up from the ground and he could hear footsteps approaching behind him. He stopped what he was doing and looked back with a friendly smile, only for it to drop when he was met with Georgia rather than another new friendly face.

She wasn't worth his time, he didn't even want to hear her out after what she did to you. Yes he heard all the awful things she had said about him. Terrorist, war criminal, out of control, selfish, manipulator, but he didn't care. He could let all of that go, in fact, sometimes the avengers needed to be criticized by civilians. But what she did to his love was unforgivable.

So, he ignored her and proceeded to read the letter right where he left off. This one was from a 17 year old named Jack, currently telling him all about how his plans for the future. He wanted to go to school to become a fire fighter and a paramedic as the avengers inspired him to save lives ever since he was just a little ki-

"You killed my husband." Georgia's voice sounded from behind him.

Ah yes, another thing Steve has had to come to terms with. People directly blaming him for the loss of people he had no control over. Guilt ate him alive over the blip every single day, but he was working on it and this simply wasn't helping.

"I'm sorry?" Steve turned around, eyebrows furrowed.

"Michael is gone. He was blipped." Georgia explained.

"I'm very sorry for your loss." Steve monotoned, turning around as to end the conversation before it got out of hand. His heart was beating out of his chest.

"You don't even have remorse." She practically spat. "Do you even care? Look what you've done."

Steve took a big deep breath before he bit his tongue and turned back around to face her. "Last time I checked, I was trying my absolute hardest to make sure nobody had to go through this. My hand isn't the one that snapped."

"How hard could you have possibly been trying? I have to live everyday without the love of my life because the Avengers can never get their act together."

"Well if it's any consolation I lost a lot of people that I loved too." Steve scoffed, heart beating even faster, trying so hard to push down the guilt. "People I loved died trying to keep this from happening. So I'm sorry for your loss, but we really did all we could."

Georgia rendered silent for a few moments as she could unexpectedly see the pain of what he had gone through in his eyes, and the faded scar on his forehead. But it wasn't enough to appease her anger and hatred. Nothing was. "You took my sweet baby away from me." All he did was cock an eyebrow and tilt his head to the side, not understanding who she was referring to. "She was nothing but kind, all she did was mind her own business and run the bakery but you swooped in here and you changed her."

"I didn't take her away from you" Steve shook his head. "You pushed her away. That was your own choice."

"I pushed her away because I already knew what was going to happen and I was trying to spare her." Georgia explained. "Has she even told you anything about what the last men like you did to her?"

"I have an idea, yes." Steve nodded. "I understand and appreciate that you're trying to look out for her, but I would never hurt her. She's a grown woman, she makes good choices, and you went about it all wrong."

"Oh? Really? You'd never hurt her?" Georgia scoffed.

"Do you understand how traumatic the passed few days have been for her because you reported her to the government?" Steve questioned. "They hurt her, you hurt her, and now she has to pick up the pieces all over again. I don't want to hear anything else about how much you care about her, because someone who cares wouldn't cause her even more pain."

"Had you never been here, I would've never had to report her." Georgia pointed out. "And you know what? If I put the pieces of this stupid little puzzle together and I didn't report her, then I would be a criminal too. So guess what? That's also your fault."

"Her criminal record is completely clean by the way, but I did notice that assault charge on yours from a few years back." Steve chirped. "Spitting on an officer is not a good look."

"You killed her mother." She barked. That statement took Steve down a notch... or two. "She just lost her dad not too long ago, and now her Mom is gone. Of course she didn't tell me that, I found out on a Facebook post she was tagged in. Did you know about that?"

"We haven't talked abo-"

"Of course you didn't, and guess what? She's never going to tell you that. You know why? Because she's incapable of healthy relationships." Georgia ranted. "She's going to love you so hard but emotionally shut you out whenever things get hard in her head so much so that it'll suffocate you. I'm the only one who knows what really happened between her and her ex, she didn't even tell her Mom. Wherever her Mom fell flat in the emotional support department, I picked up that slack. And guess what? She doesn't have either of us now. And that's your fault."

Once again, Steve was speechless. He wasn't sure if it was from her words or her audacity, but either way he wanted to throw up.

"I don't care who you are or what you've done. I see past the whole superhero facade. You say you'd never hurt her and she believes it, but I don't because you've already hurt her in the worst way imaginable."

"But you've done nothing wrong, right?" Steve questioned. "You're just this perfect person who's done nothing but improve her life?"

"I know what I did wrong, the difference between you and I is that I can admit that while you sit here and act like you're better than everyone else because you wear stars and stripes."

"Georgia, I've felt unimaginable guilt every single day of my life since I became Captain America." Steve admitted. "Survivors guilt. Guilt that I haven't done enough. Guilt every single time I try to relax. Guilt that I put the kindest person I know in a tough situation. And though I don't need to explain myself to you, you have to understand that I'm human too. I try my hardest to be the best that I can be and make good choices, but sometimes I mess up. Should I have just left her alone at the start? Yeah, probably. But she was the only person I could connect with after almost a whole year on my own. She made me feel like I could keep going when I was about to give up. Yes, she knew who I was, but she chose to stay by my side. Do I regret letting her do that? Absolutely not. Do I feel guilty about everything I've put her through? Every waking moment."

"So why do you continue to be in her life when you could so easily just let her go?" Georgia questioned.

"Because I love her, and the one thing I will never allow myself to feel guilty about is staying with someone I love." Steve explained. "She was loyal to me at my lowest and I intend on being there for her whenever she needs me. So I'm sorry that Thano's blipped Michael, and I'm sorry for unintentionally driving a wedge between you and her, but her and I have enough on our plate at the moment so please just give her some space."

"I don't hate you, Captain Rogers, but I will continue to be your harshest critic."

"I don't need you to like me, and I am my own harshest critic." Steve stood his ground.

"Take care of her, treat her well." She lectured. "By all means, you've got to do better than this."

"I'm not interested in continuing this conversation."

"I'll be praying that she tells you the whole truth about what happened with her last boyfriend, and that her love doesn't suffocate you into insanity like it did to him."

"I know gods, ma'am. Your prayers don't mean anything to me." Steve sassed, throughly annoyed by Georgia's comments. "The only person I feel suffocated by is you."

"So be it."

She walked off back to her own house, Steve let out a puffed breath, trying his hardest to remain composed regardless of the nausea and anger settling into the pit of his stomach.

Luckily, reading the rest of the letters and clearing off the rest of the driveway did wonders to improve his mood. Though he still felt awful for the reality of what he did to you, he felt better nonetheless.

Even better after a shower, a change of clothes, and the promise of you behind your front door when he made his way back to your house half an hour before everyone else said they were going to arrive.

"Stevieeeee!" You cheered enthusiastically, opening your arms wide for him.

"Baby! It's been so long!" Steve cheered with your same enthusiasm, accepting the hug after stepping into your house.

"It should be illegal for a man to look this handsome in a t-shirt and jeans, you heathen!" Your smiley face did wonders for his mood.

"Says you, pretty girl." Steve said before kissing you. "Ooh, you smell so nice."

"Thanks, I tried." You shrugged. "How's it feel to be back?"

You started walking further into your living room, Steve trailed behind you like the big dog he was.

"Feels great" You could hear the smile in his voice. "I cleared out my driveway. Surprisingly, a lot of people are actually happy to have me here."

"I could've told you that, you should see how insane the bakery has been since everyone found out you were hanging out there."

"What?" Steve questioned, wanting you to elaborate.

"A line wrapped around the building every morning" You nodded proudly, gracefully plopping down on the couch. "Everyone from every surrounding town wants to try the same treats Captain America has been eating. We usually sell out around noon, but haven't had the hands or kitchen capacity to keep up with the demands."

"Oh gosh" Steve sat next to you, welcoming your legs being thrown over his thighs as he threw his arm around your shoulder. "I'm glad business is going well, but you and your poor employees must be exhausted"

"I was pretty worried about it when I was in custody, but I talked to the head baker not too long ago. She held down the fort perfectly."

"Has there been press?" Steve asked. "I haven't been checking local news at all, it's been a little overwhelming."

"I understand" You placed your hand on his chest to feel the comforting thumps of his heart against your palm. "Yeah, there has been. A lot of people try shoving cameras in my face or try asking me about you. I try my hardest to just be polite while not saying anything about you. Which is really hard by the way, you're my favorite person and I could talk about you for hours."

"I'm sorry that's happening" Steve sighed, gently running his knuckles down the side of your cheek.

"Don't be sorry" You grinned, reaching up and grabbing his hand. Guiding it to your mouth, you kissed the back of it. "If anything, you've brought in a ton of business and new customers. The store has never been so busy even with the other half of the population still around, so thank you."

"Nope, uh-uh." Steve denied. "The line is wrapped around the building because you're amazing at what you do. You're not allowed to accredit your success on anything other than that."

"I'd be ignorant, and it would be a disservice to not acknowledge everyone who's helped me get to where I am, I certainly didn't do this on my own." You grinned, both of your connected hands now resting in your lap as you squeezed and massaged his lovingly yet absentmindedly. "I think that's a beautiful thing, by the way. I really cherish the love and effort it takes to keep the bakery running. Every person who adds to its success story makes me love it even more."

Steve squeezed your hand and let out a sigh. "You're heart is too good for this world."

"You say that like it's a bad thing." You raised an eyebrow.

"No, it's definitely not." Steve grinned even though the residual guilt was pounding at the forefront of his brain, "Sometimes I just have a hard time believing that I deserve so much grace for everything that I've put you through."

"You're far too hard on yourself, Honey." You told him sympathetically. "You know what you've put me through?"

"Hmm?" He questioned.

"You've put me through one of the best friendships I've ever had. You've put me through facing my fear of being trusting and vulnerable to new people in my life, less lonely hours by myself in the kitchen, more time smiling and laughing, so much more time loving." You reminded him. "But you also did put me through that five mile run that one time and I'll never forgive you for that."

A real laugh escaped his throat, and you smiled in accomplishment. "That was your idea."

"I don't care." You denied with a giggle. "I didn't even know who you were yet, and I signed myself up for a run with Captain America. I deserved a warning... or an Advil... or like, a gallon of caffeine first."

"Well now you know for next time!" His cheeky smile poked through.

"Yeah... next time!" You said super sarcastically. "My point is, I can tell you feel guilty, but I don't blame you for any of it. I love you, I love that you care so much, but I just want you to relax."

Steve closed his eyes for a moment to try and get your reassurance really sink into his brain.

"We both deserve to enjoy each other without all the weird emotional strings and heavy baggage we've had with us before, and now we have a whole month together."

He leaned closer to you and laid a loving kiss on his lips. They were as sweet as him, it lasted a while, but you were perfectly happy to kiss his brain noise away.

"You always know how to make me feel better." He stated, your two foreheads pressed together.

"I'm my happiest when I'm with you." You smiled against his lips.

"I love you, baby" He stated before reconnecting your lips for a little while. The two of you stayed like that for a while, holding each other close and exchanging slow, romantic kisses. But it wouldn't be Steve if his mind wasn't always one step ahead of himself, so he pulled away when a piece of information came to the forefront of his mind. "Would this be a good time to tell you tha-"

He was cut off by the doorbell.

"No, actually, now is a terrible time to tell me." You joked with a giggle as you slowly got up off of him and the couch. "You should hold onto that thought for a few hours while we socialize then just hope you remember it later."

"Yep, I'll just live with this information for a few more hours, no problem." Steve laughed, getting up to follow you, hoping it didn't look like the two of you had been making out for ten minutes.

Company filled your house and warmed the inside of the walls alongside the parts of your soul that had felt so cold and dark for months. Friends, neighbors, and coworkers alike, you all ate dinner together while exchanging stories and laughs.

After dinner everyone squeezed in the living room around the coffee table. Uno cards and wine glasses occupied its surface while everyone sat shoulder to shoulder on the couches and on the fluffy rug. Occasional competitive shouting sounded from the area while a few of the bakers in the group had snuck into your fully stocked pantry to provide a tray of brownies and a batch of warm chocolate chip cookies.

Steve was almost overwhelmed by the sense of comfort and familiarity he hadn't felt in a long time. It was this small town magic he had always heard about. A group of people, most of whom had never met each other before, coming together and truly enjoying each other.

Just for you, there were strangers sitting together on your living room floor, a shared blanket across their laps, and giggling together after a glass of wine. Your sweet employees in the kitchen teaching your neighbor the secret to the perfect chocolate chip cookie with a gooey center and a crispy edge. You snuggled on the couch with your head resting on one of your best friend's shoulder, while Steve made his rounds and got to know everyone as much as he could.

Each one was kinder than the last, and each one asked him questions about himself. They weren't about the Sokovia accords, or what Thanos had ripped away from everyone, they were about his interests and hobbies, what he did to occupy his time, and how long the two of you had been together.

Through a mixed group of people, the one thing they all had in common was their love for you, and that was more than enough for them. Strangers became friends, and Steve finally felt like he might've been part of the small town community.

Steve's mind ran back to that same night you suggested a cardboard castle. You invited him to the neighborhood game night at Georgia and Michael's place, but rather than attending, he watched the lively get together through a double pained glass window and open sheer curtains from across the street. He remembered how isolated he felt after all that time on his own, how badly he craved to be surrounded by people who cared.

And now here he was, inside the four walls, surrounded by people who cared, and right on track to getting all he's ever wanted since his mom passed leaving him on his own at 18 years old. A family.

The Avengers were a little less than put together at the moment, and that wasn't their fault as a collective, but he was happy to have some real, normal people in his life to keep him grounded. The only thing that could've made him feel complete was if Nat, Sam, and Bucky were here.

But he had you, and you were more than enough.

Committed to forcing you to relax and enjoy yourself after all you had been through, he helped the girls clean up the kitchen, refilled wine glasses, and did all the dishes.

Then when the time come and the grip was dropping like flies, he offered rides home just in case anyone was too sleepy or had one glass to much, and stood in the driveway to make sure everyone got to their cars safely in the dark.

Of course it was a safe neighborhood and everyone lived on the block or just a few minutes away, but who would Steve Rogers be if not a protector.

As he leaned over the porch railing watching the cars drive away and enjoying the fresh, crisp air, you came out to join him. You wrapped the blanket around your shoulders around his too, and your arms snaked around his waist in a side hug.

His arm was quick to sling around your shoulders and pull you in closer before pressing a kiss on your forehead. You couldn't help the invasive smile tugging on the corners of your lips. He was happy, you could tell he was, and you were happy too.

An easy, simple, small town life with Steve was something you could imagine for yourself. Blanket covered snuggles on the porch under the stars, a house full of people you cared for, the man you loved dearly in your arms.

"How are you doing, my love?" He questioned above you, both of you looking out into the neighborhood.

"Good; happy." You said confidently. "You?"

"Good and happy." He copied your answer.

"Even better now that you finally got a homemade cookie?" You questioned knowing it was one of the things he had missed the most in his time away.

"I think I ate five, no joke." Steve smiled.

"You deserve them all." You squeezed him tight. "Will you stay over tonight?"

"Of course."

"Or we can go to your house? Whichever one you want." You threw out there. "Fist night back, we can be wherever you missed the most."

"Well I missed you the most, so I'll sleep whenever you want to sleep."

"Well we're already here, so might as well." You shrugged. "Hey, what we're you going to tell me earlier?!"

"Oh! Right!" Steve perked up. "So, remember how you like... hid me away for all that time and like... made me so happy and took good care of me and then you were abducted by the government and I yelled at them really bad?"

"Yeah," You laughed at his means of explanation. "I think I remember that."

"Okay good." He smiled. "So I thought the government owed you for A, doing super illegal stuff to you and B, doing them a favor by keeping me safe and sound so I bargained a deal with them as reparations of sorts."

"What was the deal?" You asked, eyebrows furrowing together.

"Well for all the time you spent with me and kept me from losing me mind, I made them pay off your mortgage. So, your house is completely taken care of." He smiled.

You turned to him, shock smeared across your face. "What?!"

"It's done." He reassured you. "No more home loan, you owe nothing else. It's all yours."

"Steve-" tears welled in your eyes, feeling the weight of the world slip off your shoulders.

"And for the time they took you away for the bakery, your business rent was payed off for the rest of the five year contract." He explained the kicker.

"No way." You shook your head.

"Yes way." He nodded in assurance.

"That's too much, you didn't have to do that." A tear slipped off your cheek.

Thought business was doing well again, those few months of being closed were weighing on you. Once again, this was a huge relief.

"I didn't do anything other than get you want you deserved." He reminded you. "All it took was some glaring and some yelling."

"Damnit, Baby. I didn't want to cry anymore!" You playfully yelled at him, very gently hitting his chest before he pulled you against him and you hurried your face in it.

Gently swaying you from side to side, he continued to explain. "I can't imagine life has been easy for you since we met or even before then, but any chance I have to make it better I'm going to take no questions asked."

"But this? This is a lot Steve, that's a lot of money. And the business?"

"Use the rent money to give yourself and your employees a raise. You all work hard, you deserve it." He suggested. "I told you, the Avengers are yours now and you'd get everything you deserve because of what you did. You were here exactly when I needed you. You took good care of me, so now I get to take good care of you."

"I'm so grateful, thank you so much."

"No, thank you." He kissed your forehead before you looked up to kiss his lips.

"Wow, I'm going to sleep so well tonight" You laughed, wiping the tears off your cheeks. "I'm back home, I'm feeling better, I get to sleep in a completely paid off house, and my favorite person is back here with me alive and well. That's all I could ever want."

"What if we throw in a bag of spicy Doritos?" Steve questioned playfully, raising an eyebrow.

"That's too much, that would be an embarrassment of riches." You laughed, a yawn taking over.

"Alright, let's get you to bed, Honey." Steve giggled before kissing you and sweeping you off your feet like a groom carrying his bride through the doorway.

You shrieked before laughing and tightly wrapping your arms behind his neck, peppering kisses all over his face.

Right before bringing you inside and closing the door, Steve caught a glimpse of Georgia staring at them through her window.

Now she was the one watching game night through the windows, watching love after her lover was gone, and living an isolated life away from the people she once loved.

Maybe now she'd understand Steve a little better, everything he had to go through, all the choices he had to make, the extreme isolation through the hardest part of his life.

He made eye contact and gave her a friendly grin, empathizing with the feeling of loneliness. But now he knew better, and now he felt better than he did before.

He would never feel guilty for loving you.

Next Part: Cardboard Castle

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229 notes · View notes

booksapphic · 5 months

Note

for the fuzzy sweater prompt: fratt get caught in the rain and go back to matts, matt's only clothes that will fit frank are the sweaters that his kind old lady clients knitted him that are a few sizes too big

ANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD THANK YOU FOR THIS PROMPT!!!!!!!!

(1k words, stupid disgusting amounts of fluff, no warnings, not edited, written at like twice my normal speed so sorry if it's bad, I'M SO SOFT FOR THEM!!!!!!)

By the time they started the walk home, it was pouring. Frank pulled up his hood and waited to see if dinner with their friends had put Matt in a good enough mood to not call him on it.

They made it a block. “It’s still fifty degrees out,” Matt said, hands in the pockets of his leather jacket. “I guess you didn’t need a coat after all.”

Frank shot him a look. “It was clear when we left.”

“I said it was going to be raining on the walk back, not the walk there.”

“Next time I’ll ask if you smell rain before I go anywhere, yeah? That what you want?”

“It was the atmospheric pressure, not the smell,” Matt said easily, like Frank didn’t know what revealing any detail about his senses cost him. Frank shook his head, huffed in annoyance when rain fell from his hood into his face.

Matt grinned then offered out his hand, stopped moving his cane. Frank put it in the crook of his elbow and gathered Matt close, feeling the welcome heat of Matt’s body against his own.

Still, by the time they made it the few blocks to Matt’s apartment, Frank was freezing. Frank stripped off the drenched hoodie on the way to the bedroom, tossing a mild “fuck off,” behind him when Matt laughed. He pulled open the dresser drawer Matt had given him, then remembered he hadn’t done laundry in a week, and hadn’t moved enough of his things here to have more clothes. He’d gotten the key six months ago, kept a toothbrush here for much longer, but Matt hadn’t asked him to move in, and Frank hadn’t brought it up. He didn’t want to ruin whatever this was by putting a name to it.

If he asked Matt to borrow something, Matt would tease him about it for the next fifty years. If he took something from the laundry, Matt would refuse to sit to close to him until after he changed and showered. He put the drenched hoodie back on.

“What are you doing?”

Frank glanced behind him, saw Matt had already changed into a pair of sweatpants he’d kept on the bed, the jacket and button-down replaced by the ratty Columbia sweater Frank wasn’t allowed to mention whenever Nelson was around. The one time he’d asked Matt if he’d wanted it, the debate over whose it was went on for an hour.

“Nothing,” Frank replied. “This actually’s the warmest thing I have right now is all.”

He began moving back to the living room, planning to take the side of the couch closest to the radiator and steal the throw blanket. Matt’s head tilted, then he sniffed. “You don’t have anything else clean, do you.”

Matt walked over to stand next to him, rifling through one of his drawers until he offered Frank a bundle of bright red fabric. It was a cable knit sweater, a little on the larger side, but right now Frank didn’t care. He changed into it, closed his eyes when the warm, dry yarn hit his skin.

Matt handed him an extra pair of sweatpants to replace his jeans, then lead them back to the living room. He took a seat on the couch and then gestured at Frank to join him. Frank ended up half on top of him, chest to chest, and Matt grabbed the blanket off the back to cover him with.

“Warm enough now?” Matt said, just enough teasing in his voice for Frank to catch.

“For now,” Frank said. “Patrol’s gonna be hell tonight, though.” Matt hummed, noncommittal.

Frank pulled back enough to glance up at him, trying to read his expression. “Thinking about staying in?”

Matt did his best to shrug, beginning to card a hand lazily through Frank’s hair. Frank grunted and dropped his head back down in content. “I’ll keep listening, see if we’re needed. But with the weather…” There would be fewer muggers and rapists out in this kind of downpour, and they didn’t have anything larger planned.

Frank was alright with that. He didn’t mind taking a night off, and Matt could use the extra sleep.

They laid there in silence for several minutes. The chill had been all but chased from Frank’s skin, and he said, “Never seen you wear this sweater before. S’warm.”

“Yeah, it’s wool. Took a case a few years ago, suing a doctor for medical malpractice. Our client was retired, but she knitted each of us a few sweaters. That’s the black one, right?”

Frank hesitated. It was as black as a fire truck, or a Santa hat. “Yeah.”

Matt stayed quiet for a second, then sighed. “It’s the one that Foggy said I should start wearing over my suit.”

Frank half-smiled against the side of Matt’s neck. “Yeah.”

“I guess I should be grateful. Karen said she could be mistaken for Barbie in one of hers.”

Frank huffed a laugh. “Would take it off her hands if I could fit in it. Wool’s expensive. You don’t wear it ‘cause of the color?”

“It’s wool,” Matt said in a disgusted voice.

“Yeah?” And?

“It itches.”

“Huh.” Now that Frank was paying attention, it was a bit itchy, but the feeling faded with his concentration. Still, if he could feel it, must be much worse for Matt. “Next time, ask your client to use cashmere yarn.”

Matt laughed, and Frank smiled again, broader this time. There was so much blood on his hands, but he could still make his—boyfriend? partner?—laugh.

Frank was half-asleep when Matt said quietly, “I can clean out another drawer if you need.”

Frank blinked open his eyes, pulled back to watch Matt’s face. “What?”

“So you don’t have to do laundry every week. It gets expensive.”

Frank glanced away and then back, trying to decide how to ask the question. “A drawer?”

“Two? A closet? Some space under the stairs for your weapons?”

Frank blinked, swallowed. “I mean, uh. I got a safehouse with all my shit in it.”

Matt nodded. His eyes flicked towards the floor, pointedly away from Frank, then back. “You can keep it, if you want. But you don’t have to. If you want.”

Frank looked away this time, trying to decide. “Yeah,” he finally said, then shifted closer to kiss him, once, gently. “Yeah, alright.”

#fratt #daredevil #punisher #my fic #my writing #mine #anna answers #which of these tags did i used to use i can't remember #crying i never write them being domestic bc it's not what i love about them most but F U C K #I LOVE THEM BEING DOMESTIC!!!!!#I LOVE THEM BEING IN LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THANK YOU ANON!!!!!!!!#sorry if this is bad lmao

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azurlily · 1 year

Note

Can you do mikasa nsfw

👍👍👍 YES we love her, she's a queen!! Ones where it isn't a full headcannon(nsfw and sfw) will not be highlighted with pink or other colors.

Mikasa Ackerman NSFW Headcannons

Mikasa is...to put it plainly, not all that interested in sexual activities when you two first talk about it. She doesn't see it as important, although she does look into it for you. She asks a few of her comrades about it.(they all went red and couldn't answer)

Mikasa, after figuring out all of what sex truly entails, is embarrassed. Especially at the fact that she asked these questions to her friends. She wont be able to live it down.

Anyway. When you two first do it, she's a bit scared. She doesn't know what to do and is a bit jittery at the beginning. It doesn't take her long to start craving the feeling of her skin against your, though.

She's been repressed for a while and she tries to let out steam more than you'd think. She needs your body against hers, needs to feel you tounge, your hands, your body.

Mikasa is the one on bottom at the start. Doesn't matter if you usually bottom or not, she needs to feel you touching her. Although, after some time, she starts taking an interest in your part.

She asks if she can be on top for a night, just one. Then, well, every time you two fuck, you're the one with the bruises. And she has long scratch marks and hickeys on her neck and back.

She starts to not only crave your body, but also control. She needs it, so very badly. Her entire life she's never been in control, and now, oh now she had you. You'll do whatever she says...wont you?

If she tells you to lye back and let her eat you out, or if she says she wants to tie you up and use a strap on you.(straps exists in her world because I said so.)

She can get you to do anything, and you oh so willingly take it. She loves oral though, it's her personal favorite. She longs the idea of tastes every part of your body, she knows you shiver and shake when she press her tounge in the right spot too.

She knows how to make you break, she is a bit of a sadist, but you rarely see it. If you two ever have hate sex, or break up sex, or even make up sex. She's calling you all sorts of crude and devilish names. Make you cry not just from pleasure.

Normally though, she's more tame. She not vanilla by any means, but she's a lot more tame than if you were to piss her off or rile her up.

Definitely has jealousy sex with you. If she sees Sasha getting a bit too touchy, or maybe even isn't being as much of a bitch. Hell! Maybe even Ymir and Historia have taken a an interest in you.

She gets jealous. She feels the need to keep you close, she's already lost so much. While it is hard to rile her up, she definitely stays pissed for a long, long while. When she's mad you have the longest sex.

"If you let Sasha hug you one more time. I'm taking you against a wall somewhere, I don't even care."

When she's mad she gets reckless. Seeing as Armin and Eren have caught you two only once before...

Mikasa has an authority and honorific kink. She likes to be reminded that she's in charge, as well ass that you know who owns you. Calling her any variant of mommy, daddy, master, mistress. Any of it, she loves it, it makes her feel stronger than she already is.

Most if not all things are kept in the bedroom, there have been some instances where it wasn't a bedroom or in the house at all.

She can be and is usually gentle.(in her own way) She'll tie you up, and fuck your brains out, and overstimulate you until you try and push her head away. That doesn't mean she isn't being gentle, it just means your sex lasts for a good two hours at least.

Mikasa loves overstimulation, she finds it funny seeing you try to walk around. Seeing you trip up, and shake, seeing you glare at her when you hear her laughing. She finds it funny, and cute, seeing as when you're sore from the strap, she's taking care of you.

Mikasa has overstimulated you more than once just so you stay by her side. She needs you close, more sex does insue.

Mikasa may seem like a sex maniac, but you don't have sex as often as you'd think. She's very scared, and for the first few months of your relationship it isn't even mentioned. About 6 to 7 months in is when you talk to her about it.

If you have an unnaturally low or high sex drive Mikasa will accommodate you the best she can. She is still human though, she does need breaks as well as occasional sex.

Aftercare for Mikasa depends on where you two are in the sexual part of your relationship. If you're at the part where you're still in control and the one leading it, shes falls asleep not too long after. She does try to stay awake and help you clean up, but on most occasions, fails.

If ots to the point where she's the on in control, it's an entire story. Mikasa remind herself to always be prepared to clean you up. She read multiple books, and asked around(it was very embarrassing for her) until she got the result she was looking for.

She always stay up for an extra hour past her stopping. She cleans up the bed/bedroom, she cleans you up and the she cleans herself up. She does it all in a routine. Cleaning you means physically cleaning, but also mentally. She tells you how much she loves you, she brings you food and snacks.

She does whatever she can for make you feel loved. Even if you dont fall asleep she'll(if your in the modern world she'll turn on the tv) talk to you and maybe you two will shower/bathe together. She makes you feel loved the best she can.

HELLO! HI Nice too see everyone! TWO POSTS IN ONE DAY WHO HOO!! Anyway, I'm thinking of doing commissions. It would be 100 words = 1$. I think that's fair, so of anyone wants anything EXTREMLY specific I will put it in as a commission OR some works I might not do unless it is a for money. I'm still working that out, but if you want to support me, this is the best way. If you have any questions ask them in the asks/requests. Have a good/night day yall!!

#wlw #lesbian #aot girls #attack on titan #women are hot #aot headcanons #aot girls x reader #mikasa ackerman #mikasa ackerman x reader

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sebastianstanisahotmf · 5 months

Text

Overlooked

Steve Rogers x reader

A/N This fic is about how overlooked Steve's trauma was in the films. It's just my opinion since he definitely would have had struggles but they weren't really seen in the films. Once again this is just my opinion. Idk if I like this though so I might delete it. I'm not sure though. Also, all mistakes are my own so if you see any feel free to comment them and likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated.

18+ MINORS DNI, THERE'S NOTHING EXPLICIT IN THIS FIC BUT IT DEALS WITH HEAVY THEMES

Summary Steve is struggling and you convince him to get help

DO NOT REPOST ON ANY OTHER APPS/SITES. THE ONLY PLACE THIS FIC IS ON IS TUMBLR.

Warnings Fluff, angst (a lot), allusions to being suicidal kinda (if these things trigger you in any way then please don't read it)

Steve was your everything. He was the reason you woke up with a smile every day. You trusted him with your deepest secrets and he does the same with you. That’s how you got into the position you were in.

Steve was lying on your chest while you ran your fingers through his soft hair as he sobbed. It broke your heart to see him in such a state but, there was nothing you could do but hold him until the crying stopped.

This wasn’t an unusual situation for the both of you to be in. This broke your heart when you came to that realisation since it made you think of how much you saw Steve in such a state.

It was because of Steve being misunderstood by everyone. Everyone saw America’s golden boy who bravely fought in WWII and continues to fight for justice. They saw his best friend -formerly the winter soldier- fighting his inner demons and PTSD.

What they didn't see was the man who was scared to admit he was tortured by memories as well. They didn’t see the man who had nightmares almost every night. They didn’t see the man who would cry for hours on end thinking about the people he watched die, the people he was too late to save, the people he thought he should have swapped places with.

They might not have seen that, but you did. You saw the look of pure horror on Steve’s face after each nightmare, you saw the way his hands trembled and you saw the way Steve would try to fight back the tears. You saw everything.

Steve was so thankful to have you in his life. You brightened his day and made life worth living. Especially in moments like these.

His arms were wrapped around you as he snuggled into your chest. The blanket was over his head; a cocoon of safety, protecting him from the outside world.

As his sobs turned into whimpers and his breathing evened out, you slightly lifted the blanket so you could look at your boyfriend.

“Do you wanna talk about it baby?” you questioned.

“Could y-you just hold m-me for a bit l-longer?” he replied.

“Of course I can,”

You stayed like that for a while before a thought entered your mind.

“How about we tell Dr Cho or Banner about this Stevie.”

“W-why?” He stuttered, trying not to panic.

“Because babe it hurts me to see you in such a state, especially as often as it has been happening lately.”

“It’s not that bad doll. Bucky’s got it worse,” he responded.

“Maybe he has, but that doesn’t take away from your struggles.”

“B-but what will everyone think? I’m supposed to be Captain America, the man with a plan. Their symbol of hope,” he said, starting to hyperventilate.

“Look at me, Steve,” he lifted his arms so he was resting on them and facing you, “Breathe with me,” you took slow, deep breaths in through your nose and let them out through your mouth.

Steve started to copy you and in no time, he was back to breathing normally.

“You don’t have to be strong all the time baby. Nobody is,”

“B-but-”

“It’s okay to have struggles. You have every right to ask for help. You went through a war, lost your best friend and then woke up seventy years into the future. If anyone deserves to get help it's you.”

Steve looked at you with pure admiration and love in his eyes.

“I love you so much, doll.” He leaned in to kiss you, it was so gentle and full of love.

“I love you too Stevie, that’s why I want you to get help. Please. I’ll go with you if you want and I’ll be there for you. Every step of the way.”

“You’re perfect darling,” Steve replied, laying back down on your chest.

“So does that mean you’re going to ask Dr Cho or Banner for help then?” you asked hopefully.

“Yeah, I will do it tomorrow,” Steve looked up at you and then continued in a voice so small and innocent it almost didn't sound like him, “Will you still come with me?”

“Of course I will babe,” you responded with a smile.

_________________________________________

The next day, you woke up to Steve kissing you on the cheek and smiling at you.

“Good morning, doll,” he whispered.

“G’morning baby,” you replied, kissing him.

“I already booked an appointment with Banner at 1:15pm.” He told you with a smile on his face.

You pulled him down to kiss you, “I’m so proud of you Stevie,” you kissed him again, “so proud.”

Steve’s cheeks had gone red from the praise. Then, he got up and went into the bathroom, leaving you alone in bed with a big smile on your face.

Once Steve came out of the bathroom, you went inside while he went into the kitchen to make the both of you some coffee and pancakes.

Maybe Steve was struggling but he had you and that’s all that mattered. You gave him purpose and someone to love and he would forever be thankful for that.

Taglist: @buckys-wintersoldier, @nicoline1998enilocin

if you want to join my taglist just click on the link

Also, if you want to see the things that I repost then you can follow my other account @sebastianstanisahotmf-reblogs

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metalheadsforblacklivesmatter · 2 years

Text

I advise you not seek this content out. There's a reason I'm not linking it. It's full of abelism and gaslighting. But I just want to show you what I'm about to rant about because this woman is claiming chronic illness doesn't exist and women specifically are faking to get a diagnosis for attention. And she's claiming this is a mental health issue.

As a disabled person, I need to rant.

The first time I got a migraine. I was 10 years old. They were near constant. I know exactly how old I was because when I went to the doctor, he said it was probably the braces shifting the bones in my skull. They were called just headaches.

If you've ever had a migraine, you would understand that if you were experiencing this much pain, and you were told there was a way to make it stop, you GRAB that shit. I had my braces removed before my jaw was finished straightening because I shouldn't have had braces in the first place and my baby teen started falling out (very late, I know).

And when my adult teeth came in, I BEGGED my doctor to not give me braces again. And remember what I said earlier. If you're experiencing migraine level symptoms and you were told there was a way to make it stop. You grab that chance. Yes, my teeth are still fucked up. Yes, this leads to me dealing with chronic jaw pain.

You don't get how much pain I was in just... all the fucking time. My parents had to carry large bottles of advil with them at all times. Some of my earliest memories is being at a restaurant and my mom being like "I know this is weird but do you have any advil? I forgot to refill the bottle and my daughter is in too much pain to eat". Just from the migraine.

I was taking adult doses of pain meds with my doctors telling me to alternate Advil and Tylenol every 2 hours at the age of 10 (most meds say not for children under 12). Because migraine was not a diagnosis that existed.

When I was in high school, I finally did get a diagnosis from my PCP of "migraine". Idk if it ever went on the record but a was prescribed migraine medication. Which was essentially prescription strength advil and imitrex. There weren't exactly a lot of options back then.

And I again have specific memories of being in school. The ring of the fire alarm during a fire drill triggers a migraine. First thing I had to do when we went back in was go to the nurse and nurse had to call my parents and they had to bring my meds (special school rules the nurse needed the prescription bottle which would make it hard to have any at home). And the nurse was like "when's it gonna work?" And my mom was like "idk. If it does work it'll be like 30 minutes" and the nurse was like "Yeah we can't keep her here 30 minutes on a maybe. This is no place for a kid with a migraine. Take her home."

Throughout all this? I didn't consider myself disabled. Because I could still function. I wasn't missing too much school to pass. I was still able to pass my classes.

In college though it got really bad. I was missing 3 or 4 days of classes at a time because I couldn't hold down anything but water. There's weeks I did go to class that I just blacked it the pain was so bad. I got hurt from the vertigo regularly. It got so bad u finally sought it a migraine community just to try to understand what the hell was wrong with me and just so I had a place where I could vent. It sucked so damn bad.

And this community helped me immensely. They had a list of headache specialists which helped me find my doctor. They gave me a ton of treatment options to discuss with my doctor and they suggested vitamin supplements that I could also discuss with my doctor. It took a few years because I don't react to most common migraine meds, but a year out of college, I finally got a treatment plan that fucking helped. I live a pretty normal life now the only exception being the couple of hours it takes my meds to kick in.

And even through all of that, I hesitated to call myself disabled. I was still functional enough to graduate college without the ADA (but honestly I'd have done better if I had accommodations for all the time I had to miss). My migraines weren't frequent enough to be considered "chronic".

The only reason why I'm able to comfortably call myself disabled now is because of the invisible illness and spoonie communities. They were like "Your health issues impacting most of your life even though there's no physical symptoms? You keep missing important events duev to your health issues? You limiting what you do so to not impact your health issues? You're disabled."

Because I was so afraid of taking something away from physically disabled people by using the label. I'm still going to heavy metal concerts (yes they land me in bed for days after with a migraine). I can hold down a job and still semi-function (I'm privileged that I can get a remote job so if I can't get out of bed I don't need to call in. And I work for small companies that are more forgiving of health issues.)

Listen. I 100% believe in the spoonie movement with all my heart. But what people don't realize is that invalidating the spoonie movement invalidates people like me. People that have had pain since childhood that almost no medication can touch that's coupled with other neurological issues that is detrimental to our health. I was exercising every day, but I had to stop because there were too many days I couldn't hold down food. I was eating very healthy, but I had to stop because there were too many days where calories were more important than vitamins because again I was lucky if I could hold down food. The pain was so bad that there was gaps in my memory and I hurt myself but I couldn't remember how between the vertigo and the memory issues.

And yeah. My migraines don't affect me like that now. I'm on treatment where I don't "look disabled". I can function with the best of the abled people. But it took years of meds and trial and error with my doctor to get here. I'm functioning with the exact balance of person meds and activity levels to keep me found for the things I enjoy doing.

And I need people to realize that's what invisible disability is. Paralyzed person can't walk? They get a wheelchair. I can't go outside without spending the rest of my day bedbound from the bright light and heat? I get meds that help sooth the nervous system (honestly I don't know how the fuck my meds work but this is the equivalent of my "wheelchair")

Yeah! We look functional. That's the point. That's the entire point. Because before this we lost friends and failed classes because we couldn't get our of bed our body's failed us so hard. The only reason why abled people think we don't exist is because we literally couldn't leave the house. And online communities have allowed us to be seen on those worse days when we're normally hidden behind closed doors.

I was able to interact with people online yesterday with my migraine, when previously you wouldn't have been able to see that because I literally couldn't leave the house.

-fae

#abelism #systemic abelism #dynamic disability #disabilty #spoonie

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aylacavebear · 3 months

Text

She Thought She was Normal

So, this isn't my first fanfic, but it's one I've been working on for over four months now. It is the first one I'm sharing with more than just my family though, something I've never done before. It does have 28 chapters so far, and it isn't finished yet. I'm always up for suggestions and constructive feedback, either in comments or DMs.

Please don't take my work. I'll post warnings for each chapter. Will eventually be 18+!

Story Summary: Maria really thought she was normal, for most of her life. It was normal for people to have natural talent, she would tell herself the older she got. Many things came easy for her, and that was probably how their rivalry began when she was five and he was seven and she met the Winchesters. Little did either of them know that it wouldn't stay like that forever, both having a far larger destiny than they could imagine.

Word Count: 4054

Warnings: Trauma - Family Death, First meetings, childhood rivalry

-----------------------------------------

Chapter 1 - In The Beginning

She woke up screaming in the passenger seat of her dad's truck, it was dark, and her father was driving them to her Uncle's. The nightmare was still clinging to her vision.

“You okay, munchkin?” her father asked.

“Yeah, Daddy, just a nightmare,” she answered, trying to catch her breath.

Her mother had just been killed by a yellow-eyed demon in their home and now, they were just trying to get somewhere safe to deal with the grief.

Maria was five, her parents were hunters, and her mother was dead due to the demon that had been after Maria. She had deep, dark blue eyes and jet-black hair that went down to the middle of her back, the birth signifiers of the Winter lineage. Her father was a Men of Letters, she was a Legacy, even if she didn't fully understand what that meant yet. She was also something else. She'd heard her father on the phone once, talking to Bobby, and the word Nephilim had been said, although she was too young to know what that meant.

There was silence for a while on the drive, as she didn't want to have nightmares again, “Do you think mamma went to heaven?” she asked her father quietly, curiously.

He sighed, “I hope so munchkin.”

His words didn't help her feel better, but even with being five, she understood that there was no guarantee where her mother had ended up. She stayed awake for another hour before sleep retook her; this time, there were no nightmares.

Bobby had been up for hours, setting up the guest room the best he could for her after William had called him explaining what happened. He was on his fifth drink when he heard Williams's truck pull up in front, it now being three in the morning. William carried her inside as Bobby held the door open.

“Guest room is all set up,” Bobby sighed as he closed the door.

William nodded as he carried her there, tucking her in under the covers, and then kissed her on the forehead. He then closed the door behind him and joined Bobby in the living room, sitting on the couch.

Bobby handed him a drink, “You're going after it, aren't you?”

William sighed, “Wouldn't you?”

“You should talk to John, he's after the same demon, might have some information that could help,” Bobby offered.

William sighed before downing his drink, “I haven't talked to him in a couple years now.”

“You're hunting the same thing, Will,” he replied, glancing towards the hallway to where Maria was sleeping, “How's she doing?”

“About how you'd expect,” William replied, “Can you keep up her training and education for while I'm gone? It'll be at least a couple weeks.”

“Yeah,” Bobby sighed.

William only stayed for another ten minutes before he headed out. Bobby felt bad for both of them and he hid his grief for the loss of Alarra, Maria's mother, and William's wife. Hell, Bobby had introduced Will to his sister, Alarra, so many years ago. He didn't go back to sleep that morning after Will had left. Instead, he read over the journal that Will had left for him. It contained Maria's training and education, as well as an outline of what Will and Alarra had wanted to teach her and when. Bobby sighed as he read through it, especially when he noticed the entry from a week before where her powers had begun to manifest. There were only a select few who knew what Maria was, Bobby, John, and Ellen being the main three since Ellen and Alarra had been like sisters.

Maria woke up a few hours later, still in her clothes from the night before, finding Bobby sitting at his desk reading a book.

“Hi…” she mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

“Mornin kid, how you doing?” he asked, looking up from his book.

She sat down on the couch, staring at the floor, and shrugged her shoulders, “Mom's gone…. It's weird, knowing that…” she replied, feeling disconnected from everything at the moment.

“You want some breakfast?” he asked, not wanting to push her if she didn't want to talk about it.

“Did Dad leave my bag?” she asked, ignoring his question.

Bobby sighed, even at five she seemed stubborn, but also needing routine, “Yeah. It's on the kitchen table.”

“Thank you,” she replied before getting up.

Her parents had gotten her into a routine and she was well-behaved for being five. She grabbed the bag off the table and went back to her room, closing the door behind her. She did her few morning stretches and exercises, as her parents had taught her, and even went over the movements with the silver knife her parents had given her. Maria pulled out a fresh pair of clothes and changed, putting her dirty clothes in a bag before stuffing that bag into her duffle. Then she proceeded to brush her hair, fighting with the memories of her mother teaching her how a year ago. She then slipped on the headband before cleaning her brush and putting it away. After a deep breath, she slipped her shoes back on before heading into the kitchen. Bobby was already there, making her some eggs and toast, with some bacon on the side. She sat down at the table and waited patiently, just watching him cook. She'd met her Uncle before and both her parents had spoken highly of him. She wished that this meeting was under better circumstances.

“Thank you, Uncle Bobby,” she told him kindly.

“You're welcome, kid,” he replied, then sighed.

He wasn't sure if it was the fact that she was a girl, a Nephilim, or how Will and Alarra had raised her as to how well-behaved she was. He'd figured she'd be emotionally broken after losing her mother the day before, but for now, she seemed numb to everything, at least to him. He finished her breakfast and set it in front of her before heading back to his desk, needing to do some research for a friend who'd called him two days prior. She ate her breakfast in silence. The eggs were plain, as Bobby hadn't seasoned them with anything, and the toast was close to being burnt, but she didn't say a word about it, being grateful for a home-cooked meal and not something from a gas station. She thought about how she could talk to him about it since she had a feeling her father hadn't said anything. When she was done eating she scooted the chair over to the sink and washed her dishes, then cleaned up. Maria went and brushed her teeth before joining Bobby in the living room.

“Thank you for breakfast, Uncle Bobby. What was the lesson on Dad's list for today?” she asked him, not ready to give in to the grief she was still pushing away.

He sighed before he sat back in his chair, “Demonology and then practicing cursive.”

“Will you be quizzing me after?” she asked.

“Well, I agreed to this, so yeah, I'll quiz you after,” he replied.

“Thank you again, Uncle Bobby,” she replied, getting up to retrieve the book from her bag, along with her cursive journal, which she had just begun a few days prior.

She seated herself at the kitchen table, setting her journal to her right with the Demonology book opened in front of her on the table. She read for two hours before she worked for thirty minutes on her cursive. Afterward, handing the book and journal to Bobby, and then sat down on the couch. He nodded his head while he looked over her cursive and almost couldn't believe she was only five, then had to remind himself that she was also a Nephilim or something close to that. He looked over what she had read and quizzed her on it. Even when he deliberately tried to trip her up, she was respectful when she corrected him and then gave him the right answer, which he couldn't help but smile proudly at her.

She took her books back to her room, putting them away before she practiced the moves her father had taught her, helping to increase her muscle memory. She also added to it a bit with the moves her father had recently shown her. Maria still didn't want to stop though, not wanting that pause to where her memories might begin to replay in her mind. She didn't want to see it, to hear the screams, feel the pain of her loss. She slipped out of her room and grabbed the closest book she could without her Uncle seeing her as he was focused on his own research. She sat on her bed and read, for what felt like hours before there was a knock on her door. She slipped the book under her pillow before he opened the door.

“Lunchtime kid,” Bobby told her as he opened her door, “There's a sandwich on the table. After lunch, we're gonna take a trip for some food for while you're here.”

“Okay Uncle Bobby, and thank you,” she replied, following him out of her room.

Maria ate the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, not happy that it was strawberry, but ate it anyway. She cleaned her dishes before grabbing her jacket and following her Uncle out to his car. Halfway through the ride, she finally broke the silence.

“So, do you have a list?” she asked, looking over at him.

“It's in my head,” he told her.

She wasn't quite sure what to say or how to ask about what he was getting without sounding rude or intrusive so she just looked out the windshield. Bobby wasn't entirely sure how to interact with her as he never had kids of his own. He parked near the front of the store and the two of them got out of the car. She walked over to him as he came around the tail end of the car, reaching out to hold his hand. It startled him, but he just smiled down at her. She let go of his hand when they reached the front of the store as he grabbed a cart. As they walked through the store, she watched him put things in the cart, making a mental note of the items.

“Uncle Bobby, would it be okay to get some grape jam?” she asked, curiously.

He thought for a moment and glanced at the items he'd already had, “Sure. Is there anything else specific you'd like?” he asked her.

He figured asking might help her be able to be more comfortable while she was staying with him. She smiled up at him and made sure to only ask for things she knew she was allowed to have, knowing her father would ask her about everything when he returned. When they made it to the checkout and loaded everything on the counter he glanced at the candy bars.

“Would you like something sweet? You did really good today,” he told her with a soft smile.

For a moment, his words surprised her, as she didn't realize there was another way to behave when in public, but looked over at the candy, “This one, I guess,” she replied, handing him a Reese's package that contained two of the chocolate and peanut butter cups.

Bobby smiled down at her as he put the candy with the other items but asked the cashier to leave it out, as he wanted her to be able to eat it in the car.

“Bobby? Bobby Singer? Is that you?” a female voice behind them asked, causing them both to turn around and look at her.

“Sheriff Mills. Good to see you, this is my niece, Maria,” he told her as the two shook hands.

Maria looked between the two of them for a moment before feeling comfortable enough to say anything, “Nice to meet you, ma'am.”

Her manners and respect surprised Jody, “Hi there. It's nice to meet you as well. How old are you?” she asked in a soft, kind tone.

“I'm five,” she replied.

“Well, you're a very sweet little girl for only being five,” she replied kindly to Maria.

Maria smiled a little but tuned out the rest of their conversation, not wanting to hear what might get brought up. She instead went over and helped put the groceries in the cart again once they were bagged, again, impressing Jody.

“Everything okay with Will and Alarra?” Jody asked Bobby.

He sighed, glanced at Maria, and then back at Jody, “Alarra was killed last night, in a bad accident. Will had to leave to deal with the legalities of everything,” he explained.

“That poor girl,” Jody whispered, watching her put another bag in the cart, “How long is she staying with you?”

“Should only be a couple weeks but you never know how long these things take,” Bobby answered. He had to keep the demon part out of the conversation. Jody didn’t know about any of that stuff, and he wanted to keep it that way.

“Well, I’m here, if you need any advice on anything,” she told him with a soft smile.

“Thanks, Sherrif. I might take you up on that,” he chuckled.

Bobby bid her goodbye, and the two went back to his house, eating the candy bar her Uncle had gotten her on the drive. When they got back, Maria helped bring in the groceries and put away what she could reach. He double-checked the schedule her father had left but she was already grabbing her books from her bag so she could work on the afternoon work.

The next two weeks were like this. She kept to her schedule, sneaking books from her Uncle's collection and making sure they got put back where she'd found them, her Uncle never the wiser. It was a Wednesday of the third week while she was sitting at the table, working on her cursive when she heard her father's truck pull up in the driveway, but she also heard another vehicle. She was supposed to sit there for another ten minutes but her curiosity and happiness got the better of her. She set down her pencil and headed outside, running over to her father who was halfway to the door, wrapping her arms around him.

“Daddy!” she exclaimed.

“Hey munchkin,” he said, smiling as he picked her up, spinning her around, making her laugh.

He set her down, and she had to catch herself due to being a bit dizzy, but she was still laughing as an adult man, and two boys, one who looked older and one who looked younger than her, walked up. William took her hand and led her inside as she looked over her shoulder at the three of them for a moment, then turned around to watch where she was going.

“Finish your cursive and we'll do introductions,” William told her before he went into the living room with Bobby, the three others following him.

She did notice the two boys looking over at her as she sat back down at the table, picking up her pencil to do as her father had said. That ten minutes felt like forever to her. She hadn't felt like she didn't want to do her schooling before, not like she was now. When she did finish, she took a deep breath before grabbing her books and taking them to her Uncle, as he had been the one who'd been doing her schooling. He quizzed her on her reading as the others stayed silent, listening. He even tried tripping her up, to which she respectfully corrected him and gave him the right answers. He looked over her cursive and smiled at how she was progressing. She smiled happily and put her books away before returning to the living room.

“Maria, this is John Winchester and his boys, Dean and Sam,” William told her.

“It's nice to meet you, Sir,” she said to John, utterly respectful, “And you as well, Dean and Sam.”

John, as well as the boys, were impressed with her respect, “It's nice to meet you as well, Maria,” John told her with a proud smile, “Why don't the three of you go be kids outside for a bit, and keep an eye on Sam.”

She knew the adults wanted to talk about something that probably had to do with her mother, so she just nodded and headed outside, Dean and Sam following. Maria took note of how Dean took his younger brother's hand and walked at his pace, so she slowed down to walk at his pace. There was some awkward silence between Dean and Maria for a bit when she finally said something once they were further out in the scrap yard.

“Are you learning how to hunt too?” she asked, nonchalantly.

The question surprised Dean a bit, but he decided to act cool, “Yeah, what of it?”

“Just curious,” she replied, tilting her head slightly.

Dean wasn't sure what to think for this girl. She wasn't like any other girl he'd met before, as she was the first hunter's daughter he'd met. Maria went over to Sam, who was three, and began playing with him, getting him to laugh, a lot, an infectious, playful laughter. All Dean could do was watch her and how she interacted with his younger brother, in a way he couldn't. He may have been seven, but something about this girl intrigued him. It was clear she was being trained to be a hunter; she was respectful, but she hadn't stopped finding ways to bring laughter to people, at least to his brother, even with what had happened to her mother only two and a half weeks prior.

After a bit, Dean got an idea, “Hey, bet I could throw a rock further than you,” he said, a slightly competitive tone in his words.

She looked over at him, raising an eyebrow from where she crouched in front of Sam, “Bet you I could not only throw further but also hit my target.”

Dean kept the confident expression, but he began second-guessing himself, seeing her confidence, “You're on.”

Dean picked a car that was around a hundred feet away and put an X on the side of the door. She smirked, “Your challenge, you go first,” she told him, turned to the side, gesturing to the car, still keeping her eye on Sam.

He swallowed, hard as he picked up a rock from the ground, testing its weight as he tossed it in the air a couple of times before he took aim and threw it at the car, hitting the far side of the X he'd drawn, which made him smirk. She just chuckled, then went and picked up the same rock he had used. When she got back to where he was standing, she noticed his puzzled look.

“Well, this way you can't blame it on the rock,” she told him with quite the sass and a smirk to match before she turned and chucked the rock, hitting the X dead center. She knew there were things she could say, but he father had taught her better than to gloat, “Maybe next time we see each other, we can do this again,” she smiled kindly.

Dean was practically speechless. There were too many things about this girl that surprised him, and being seven, all he could do was punch her in the shoulder, which only made her laugh a little before she went back to playing with Sam, leaving Dean to his thoughts.

About an hour later, John came out and told them to come inside. Maria took Sam's hand and led him back into the house, Dean following behind them. John smiled seeing the sight, silently calling William and Bobby over to see it as well. The three men just smiled, watching the kids as they came back toward the house. Dean went over and held Sam's other hand and made Sam smile and giggle, causing both kids to smile down at him.

“Well, if anything happens to us, hopefully, they'll have each other,” William said.

“Those three are welcome here anytime,” Bobby said, having quite a soft spot for them after the time he'd gotten to spend with his niece.

John and his boys stayed for dinner, which Maria helped Bobby with.

“At least they get along,” William told John, glancing at Dean who was sitting in a chair watching Bobby and Maria as they cooked.

“That’ll be a bonus,” John replied.

“Bobby suggested we team up since we’re both after the same thing,” William stated, sipping his beer.

“It’s not a bad idea,” he replied, “It would make things easier. Two heads are better than one.”

William chuckled, leaving out the monster joke, “Yeah. Plus it might give the kids some time to be kids,” he sighed.

“Did you have another lead, to head toward after here?” John asked, looking over at him.

“Yeah, two states over. We’ll get that demon, John. One way or another, we’ll track it down, for the kids’ sake at least,” William told him, sounding more confident than he felt.

“Dean,” John said, causing him to look over at him, “Will and I are gonna work together, so they’ll be coming with us. Behave yourself.”

Dean rolled his eyes and John gave him a look, which made him straighten up, “Yes sir,” he replied, quietly but quickly losing the attitude.

He wasn’t pleased about now having to share a motel room with a girl, especially her. Yeah, she was somewhat interesting but at the same time, she was still a girl and girls were annoying. Dean wanted to ask why she couldn’t just stay with Bobby. He wanted to complain but he knew better than to argue with his father once he’d decided something.

Bobby made burgers with Maria standing on a chair, learning, Dean watching her from the living room, which was not being done discreetly. Bobby let her flip the burgers when it was time, as well as put the cheese on them when they were ready. In another pan he had bacon going, explaining the different levels of crispness. She was completely fascinated and paying attention.

“Dean, how do you like your bacon?” she asked, knowing he was watching her.

Dean got embarrassed, “Cooked?”

The adults laughed at the interaction but Maria just shook her head a bit as she helped set the table when the food was done. William was proud of his daughter with her constant thirst for knowledge. The schedule he'd made out for her was more for her than for him, as he still wanted her to be a kid sometimes too, not just focus on learning everything she could and grow up too fast. He loved seeing how she interacted with Sam earlier that day.

“So, John and I are gonna team up for a while, since we're after the same thing. This will make things easier,” William explained to Maria.

“Okay Pappa,” she replied, looking up at him.

It didn't bother her. She had enjoyed spending time with Sam, although she found Dean slightly annoying. She wouldn't say that part to her father though, knowing that would be rude. It was clear to Maria that her father and John had spoken to Dean in the living room while she'd been helping her Uncle with dinner since he hadn't been addressed during dinner.

“Will my lessons continue like you had scheduled?” she asked her father after she finished her burger.

“Yes. And I'll check it when I am at the motel, so it will be a little different than it is now,” he told her.

“Okay, Pappa,” she replied.

Part of her was going to miss the quizzes after her reading, but she knew it happened sometimes, depending on whatever case her parents worked. Although now, her mother was gone. Something she still hadn't grieved for. She'd even managed to keep her nightmares at bay, reading one of Bobby's books before bed, which he still didn't know about and she was going to miss that. Once dinner was done, Maria helped with clean up, and John had Dean help as well, to which he didn't argue.

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Chapter 2

Link to the master list for this story.

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