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#i'm working on something way bigger than expected so
supercantaloupe · 5 months
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my brain is very gone. i cannot read questions but i wanna participate. what’s your fav kind of tea? how do you take your tea?
ooh i love a lot of types of tea so i could never pick a single favorite. i'd say for a single (though often large) cup of hot tea my preference is usually for something strong and fruity. i like herbal blends with hibiscus, peaflower, rosehip etc and/or dried fruit pieces, although this year i've really been enjoying a couple of fruity white or green tea/herbal blends. i love these hot and either unsweetened or with just a drop of honey. this is also usually what i take in my thermal mug to campus bc it doesn't easily suffer from overbrewing so i can brew it in the morning at 9am and have a still-hot cup of tea to drink in rehearsal at 6pm. although occasionally i'll take something black to drink as a single cup; my preference is usually for something strong and spiced, with a bit of cream and lightly sweetened. but if i'm sitting down for an hour or two and enjoying a whole pot of tea, i'm usually drinking either one of the fruit/tea blends or i'm drinking an oolong, no sweetener. i have this WONDERFUL oolong in my cabinet right now from a regional teashop i love that's scented with grape and blackberry and it's got the most well rounded, juicy body to it -- if i had to pick a single favorite it might be that but it's expensive and small batch so i try to save it for when i can really sit down and enjoy it.
as for iced teas: love a cold fruity or hibiscus tea, barely sweet; black tea, strong and lightly sweet, especially with milk (a la boba shop milk tea or chai latte); LOVE an arnold palmer (half unsweet tea/half lemonade); and whatever the hell they put in diet snapple, i could go through cases of that shit all by myself in no time flat.
basically the only teas i don't really like are anything minty, chamomile, and plain green teas and matcha. although i'm recently becoming a convert to the joys of jasmine tea. besides it just tasting good what i love about tea is that there's just So Much out there that there's always something new to try and fall in love with
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sugar--pain · 12 days
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Kinda tempted to go back to identifying as aromantic but from the perspective of "I have chosen to love everyone that I have dated. I can choose to stop." but I don't know how well that would go over.
#I mean easily parts of us can identify as such just not collectively#so i guess that's why I'm saying it here#like. it's not wrong#some part of my brain has always decided that for whatever reason loving someone was in my best interest.#and only then did I develop interest Like That.#Usually we would like someone and want their attention want to be their friend and they'd develop interest#and we'd adjust to match their energy because they wanted that from us#for a while we argued amongst each other#that it wasn't valid if we didn't agree. pondering if this is ever valid#i saw people say it was popular to say that we don't choose to love#but i just don't relate to that#i know exactly how my brain works. and i can successfully convince it to love someone. and i can successfully convince it to stop.#i don't think being calculative is wrong#and honestly i think our feeling these things aren't genuine just because we can control it. it doesn't seem fair.#this is just how i live.#i'm fully capable of love. and there's nothing wrong with me deciding to love because it seems like it'd benefit us both.#it's about give and take.#and if we're already feeding each other anyway i just don't see anything wrong with accepting what's happening.#i don't like the expectations that get pulled with it.#i want to be able to independently decide what and when i want. i don't like labels.#i like that we're an anarchist but not everyone can even be on the same page about what that means#i know we left the aromantic community because they got too specific and a lot of ideas became too stiff and twisted in to reactionary#misunderstandings but how long can we keep leaving communities and cutting ourself off in to something nebulous#because of a problem that'll folllow us no matter where we go?#i think we can define ourselves any number of ways#i don't think any of them are wrong#bigger fools than i have claimed identities that were more maligned than my own#and when it's inevitable who's to say it's wrong#we're all who we are at the end of the day. these words can't contain or quantify us#they can be shortcuts but they can't define us
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mortalityplays · 6 days
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You need more free art.
I quit my job yesterday. Well, actually I quit my job eight weeks ago, but they finally released me yesterday for good behaviour. Don't get me wrong, I love what I do - but I do it for the wrong reasons. Working for major charities, you learn very fast that 'I want to make the world a better place' is a phrase you use to ask people for money, not to give them things. I was an ass-backwards fit for that world.
You need more free art. I need more free art. Everyone has felt the shift in our media landscape over the last ten years, away from access and towards nickel-and-diming the human experience. That lack of access is making life and culture worse for all of us, across the board. Paywalled news sites leave us less informed, attacks on the Internet Archive leave us less capable of research. Algorithmic social feeds and streaming walled gardens trap us inside smaller and smaller demographic bubbles, where we are increasingly only likely to encounter ideas that have been curated for us by marketing departments. Hasty efforts to resist AI commodification have only led to more artists locking their work away and calling for even more onerous systems of copyright law. This is not good for us.
We all need more free art.
So what am I going to do about it?
This is a question I have been asking myself for years. It's easy to sit here feeilng frustrated and thinking 'boy I hope SOMEONE does SOMETHING'. It's harder to take action in a world where I still have rent to pay. But hard doesn't mean impossible. Sometimes hard just means time-consuming, frustrating and slow. And sometimes it's worth doing something time-consuming, frustrating and slow because...I want to make the world a better place.
I'm going to do this:
1. From April 1st, I am relaunching as a freelance writer and editor.
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This is the one that will (hopefully) help to pay the bills. I am a very good and experienced editor. I've worked on hollywood movies, I'm a member of the Chartered Institute of Editors and Proofreaders, I have clients who have been coming to me exclusively for more than 10 years.
Alongside bigger contract jobs, I am going to refocus on offering my services to small-press creators at a reduced rate. That means you, graphic novelists. That means you, itch and amazon writers. I want to help you develop your work, the same way I help large organisations. You can learn more about what an editor even does and what kind of pricing you can expect here.
2. I'm also going to start giving shit away. Like, constantly.
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Next week I'm going to launch a new free shop. If you're unfamiliar, a free shop, giveaway shop, swap shop, etc. is an anarchist tradition of setting up a storefront where anyone can take what they like for no cost. Offline, this often means second-hand clothes, tools, furniture, food etc. Online, I am going to be giving away digital art. Copyright-free, no strings attached. It will (eventually) feature everything from print-res posters to zines, poems, tattoo flash, t-shirt designs and anything else we come up with.
Yes, I said 'we' - while this is a curated collection, it will feature work from a variety of credited and anonymous artists and activists, all of whom have agreed to give their work away to the public domain. Some of it will be practical, some of it will be political, but a lot of it will be decorative or personal. This is, in part, a response to recent difficulty I had finding somewhere that would print a one-off joke poster for a friend that featured the word 'faggot'. Enough. No middlemen - no explaining ourselves. Just print our shit and enjoy it.
I'm very, very excited about this project. I'll have more to say about it closer to the launch, but you can expect it to go live on March 27th.
2.2 I forgot to mention the ACTUAL LAUNCH GIVEAWAY
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To celebrate my launch, I am going to be giving away a ton of physical prints. When I went looking for my old stock to see if it was worth setting a new (paid) storefront up, I realised I had way more old work in storage than I thought. This will be announced in its own right on Monday, but this is why I've been hinting you should go follow my Patreon.
On April 1st, I will pick 8 random patrons (from across all tiers including non-paying followers!) and mail them a bundle of assorted prints and postcards. The prize pool includes A3 and A4 posters, packs of A6 postcards, and printed minicomics that I've previously sold for up to £12 each.
You don't have to be a paying subscriber to enter - this is strictly no-purchase necessary. It is purely and entirely a celebration of the concept of GIVING ART AWAY FOR FREE.
3. PORN, YOU PERVERTS
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Because I still have to pay to stay alive, I am going to be subsidising all this free art with the introduction of Fuck You Fridays. Starting from March 29th, I will drop a new 18+ short story on the last Friday of every month, over on itch.io (yes I know my page is desolate right now, don't worry I'll get there).
The first edition, Go Fuck Yourself, is about, well - telling your boss where to stick it. Julia has had it with her millionaire man-child manager, and is just about ready to let him know what she really thinks. It's a short and steamy 5k words, with a gorgeous cover illustration by @taylor-titmouse, and you can pick it up for $3 starting from March 29th.
4. ANOTHER BIG SURPRISE
I'm keeping this one under wraps for now, but April 1st will also play host to one more (FREE) launch. If you've been following me for a long time, you might remember the other significance of this date (no not April Fool's day, though that is certainly thematically relevant to this entire effort). That's all I'll say right now. Watch this space.
tl;dr: I'm sick of paywalls and career ladders. I'm literally putting my money where my mouth is. More free art for everyone and I'm not kidding around!!!
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seospicybin · 7 months
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TOO HOT TO HANDLE.
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PART I
Lee Know x reader. (s)
Too Hot To Handle Masterlist
Synopsis: You and Lee Know become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (10,8k words)
Author's note: Hope you like this one too. Feel free to send feedback! x
Content warning: This is entirely a work of fiction and not affiliated with real Too Hot To Handle show.
YOU: I'm always on the hunt. I'm always looking for the next exciting thing [giggles] I know I may sound conceited saying this but... I usually get what I want [bites lip] Well, I'm beautiful, I'm fun, I have a great body... they can't say no to me [winks] get ready 'cause I'm coming in hot!
-
Having all these eyes on you the moment you walk in is nothing less than your expectations.
You used to get stared at by people, it's something that you've been dealing with after you went through puberty. For one, you don't have either the big boobs or the ass, your body is... average. But people still stare at you like you have all of that on you.
That's when you learn that sex appeal doesn't have anything to do with your appearance.
You can engage in a boring conversation with someone and they'd still find you sexy. Sex appeal is a gift, a very lethal gift.
"Hi, everyone!" You sweetly greet them with an elegant wave of hand.
"Girl, you're really cute!" One of the females says.
You smile even though you prefer to be called anything but cute, coming from her makes it sounds like you're small and not a threat to them.
However, a compliment is a compliment and maybe she meant it in a good way.
"You too," you return the compliment with a quick cheek-to-cheek kiss.
Skipping the females, you go straight to introduce yourself to the male guests, "Hi, hello!"
There are three of them, blonde, brunette, dark-haired, chocolate, vanilla, and caramel. They got everything in here and you can't decide which one you want to taste first.
"Jai!" The dark-haired says. The tattoos covering his left sleeve catch your attention.
You know that accent everywhere, "Australian. I like it," you say with a flirty smile.
You turn to the next one, "And you are?"
"Luca," he answers with a rather different accent.
It's hard to tell but he's tall with a very well-built body, it's safe to say he's an athlete.
"Do you play sports?"
"I'm a professional footballer," he answers.
"Soccer?" You ask for confirmation because football means a different sport in a few countries.
He nods, "Do you like it?"
"Well, I like what I'm seeing," you shamelessly reply.
It amuses him so much that he laughs, "I mean, soccer," he corrects himself.
"Only when you're playing," you answer without a beat.
You move on to the blonde one that has the biggest body out of the three. It's hard to miss those abs even with his oiled body reflecting the sun at you.
"Bryan," he introduces and doesn't hesitate to kiss your cheek.
"You're so big," you say in awe.
"The bigger the better?"
You grab a glass and let him pour you one, "Well, cheers to that!"
-
YOU: Oh... [fans your neck] They're all so hot. Not sure I can survive in this heat.
-
It's better to consider the other female guests as your friends rather than competitors.
They're all attractive and have their own charms, it's not like you're here to compare looks. You're here to have fun in a show called Pleasure Island.
From the name of it, you can imagine all the fun you can have and hopefully, get some action in the process.
The next male guest who enters the villa is a bit shorter than the previous ones, he has long curly hair and a great body.
He comes in your direction and introduces himself to you first before anyone else.
"I'm Jack!" He says with a smile that showcases his perfect white teeth.
"Hi, you have a nice smile!" You say.
"I love your smile," he flirts back with a subtle wink.
He leaves quite an impression on you, he has wild youthful charms.
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YOU: Jack is cute. He'll make a cute boy toy. If you know what I mean.
-
It comes down to the last guest.
Your eyes are already busy silently checking them out while sipping your fruity cocktail but how can you say no to another body you can ogle on?
This guy sure has a lot of confidence in him. Wide strides, a sly smile, and a face that would make Michelangelo rise from his grave just to immortalize it into a sculpture.
Sadly, he only introduces himself briefly to everyone from the other end of the group of people lining up to face the camera.
"I'm Minho," he shortly announces his name with an enigmatic smile that would make Monalisa run for her money.
There's something about him, something you can't put your finger on. He got the body, and the face, he even got that improved, sexier version of The Kubrick stare.
You quietly watch him as he speaks to a girl with rosy cheeks, ginger hair, and a Scottish accent, you believe her name is Maisie.
Something about him makes you can't look away. A part of it must be because he's pleasing to the eyes and the other part is... You are simply attracted to him.
It feels as if he knows he trapped you in his magnetic field, he catches you looking.
Instead of looking away, you stare deeply into his eyes and sending him signals that you're indeed attracted that you can't stop looking.
Before it turns into an intense staring contest, you slyly smile and raise your glass at him for a toast.
He slightly raises his glass as well and sips it without breaking his eye contact with you.
That means signals received so let's see if he gets them right.
-
YOU: Minho is dangerous but who likes to play safe anyway? Definitely, not me [smirks]
-
"I like Jai. He's hot..." says the beautiful girl with strawberry blond hair, Agnes.
It's obvious that she'll be the main character of this show. She's hot, very likable, and has a perfect smile that would get her teeth-whitening ads.
"What about you?" She asks the tallest girl with legs for days, Zara.
Her dark skin glows under the sun and her curly hair flows down her back, radiating that goddess beauty.
"I like Bryan. I like big boy," she answers.
"And apparently, you like vanilla too, huh?" you playfully add.
Everyone cracks a laugh at your witty response and accidentally takes your turn to answer, "I like Jack, he's cute. I like cute boys."
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YOU: Jack is the safest choice for now. I have my eyes on Minho too but I want to check the competition first.
-
"Yeah, he is, I think he's the youngest of them all," the one with midnight hair and light brown eyes, Alia.
Maisie nods in agreement, "But I got my eyes on Minho," she says.
The first competition appears and you keep your face straight, playing dumb.
"Oh, good choice!" You calmly respond.
"Did you see his face? He's so beautiful, like a Greek God!" Maisie says with a dramatic sigh.
"And his body, ooh..." Alia adds, overwhelmed by just the thought of Minho.
"Oh, you like him too?" Maisie asks, faking her surprised tone.
"Yeah, I'm going for him, he's so my type," Alia daringly says.
Forget what you said about them as your friends!
Maisie and Alia are your competitors now but you're not going to declare a war just yet. For now, you want to gather as much intel as possible to assess the probability of winning against them.
-
YOU: Minho is quite the ladies' favorite I see.
-
You're the last person to come into the bedroom and everyone seems to have chosen their territory.
There are five beds anyway, you're not afraid of not getting one and you're alright sleeping with anyone.
Maisie can have her victory when you see her getting onto Minho's bed.
You sit on the sofa looking away and when everyone else is busy chatting with each other, you look at Minho's direction laying down with hands tucked under his head.
Once your eyes make contact and lock in a gaze, you keep staring into his eyes with your thumb tugged between your teeth.
When you deem he gets the message as he flashes you his signature half-smirk, you look away and shift your attention to someone else.
"What's good, Jack?" You ask him who's looking lonely on his bed.
"You," he answers.
"I think I'm more than just good," you tell him with a flirtatious laugh.
"There's only one way to prove it," his eyes that keep looking at anywhere but your face tells it all.
-
YOU: Jack is just so... feisty? He's so young, so eager. He's like a rabbit, ready to have sex 24/7. A jackrabbit.
-
The theme for tonight's party is Greek Gods and Goddesses.
The males are wearing togas while the females are wearing white and gold dresses with less fabric and high slits on them. You put on a dress with a plunging neckline and a golden headpiece on the crown of your hair. Not forgetting to put layers of lipstick on because nothing arouses men more than seeing red-painted lips.
The male cheers when all the females are descending the stairs to the beach where the party is held. There's a bonfire, glasses of cocktails ready for everyone to grab, and platters of food arranged so beautifully to snack on.
To get it started, music is blasting through speakers so everyone can warm up with a dance, gyrating and humping against each other and whatnot.
You notice Jai and Agnes already got things going on as you caught them kissing in between changes of songs.
While Jack is hopelessly trying to get something out of you for a while.
At one point, you let him rest his hands on your hips as he stands behind you, dancing and rubbing yourself against him as a little treat for him.
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YOU: Everyone is looking so hot, so divine... the sexual tension is rising and the night hasn't even started yet.
-
The music abruptly stops playing and everyone is told to sit down while Jack is taking center stage, announcing a game everyone is going to play.
"Nectar is the drink of the Olympian gods but unlike them, we have a new way to drink it!" He begins by sharing a little knowledge of the Greek mythology.
You have zero idea what it's got to do with a game everyone is about to play.
"Everyone is going to stand here and let the other Gods or Goddesses drink the nectar from their bodies," he explains, pointing to a bowl of honey on the table.
A few of them coo in excitement and probably start thinking about what they're going to do with it.
"Nothing is off-limits! It's whatever, wherever, whoever you want to do," he playfully remarks.
Bryan is the first one to take his turn and he stands there with his big body, looking like a true Greek God in his toga and crown.
You see that Zara wastes no time to take her chance, taking a spoonful of honey and letting it dribble down his abs. She drops to her knees to lick the honey clean on his glorious abs.
"Whoo!" You howl and applaud her because she sets the standards so high already.
She doesn't miss the chance to kiss him after, getting his big boy just like she planned. Now that's hot!
It gets crazier with each turn and you want to have fun as well, ultimately, you want to show everyone how to get it done.
It's Agnes's turn. You don't usually have a thing for blonde but she's pretty and she'll make a great conquest.
Before Jai can have his chance, you dash toward her and brush her lips with honey right with your finger. She has soft lips and you're so eager to taste it.
You lean in and passionately kiss her, showing off your skill in kissing and giving everyone a little show. Just as expected, kissing her only convinces you that girls are better kissers.
"Oh, damn!" You faintly hear one of the males exclaim.
Agnes gasps as she lets go of the kiss and suddenly, Jai takes over from you, afraid that you'll take her from him.
-
YOU: It's a party. I want to have a lot of fun and kiss everyone.
-
You return to your seat with a triumphant smile on your face, on the way, you shot a glance at Minho to dare him.
However, both Maisie and Alia didn't get any from him. You start to wonder if he's going to kiss someone at all or not. When it's Minho's turn though, Maisie is excitedly put honey on his neck and licks it off for him, finishing it with a kiss on his lips.
Alia takes her turn after, kissing him right on the lips and well, you must admit that he's a good kisser. He's lacking in hand placement.
Sure, you would love to get up there and show him what a good kisser you are.
-
YOU: It's still day one. There'll be lots of opportunities to kiss him and if not, I'll make the opportunity myself.
-
When it comes to your turn, you expect nothing from Jack but he's waiting for it, rubbing his hands together, impatient to execute his plan on you.
"Come, get your honey," you playfully say.
Jack picks up the whole bowl of honey and pours it down your cleavage. You're gasping the second the sticky liquid lands on your skin and trickles down the valley between your breasts.
Putting the bowl down, Jack dives right in and buries his face between your breasts, he's smearing the honey all over instead of licking it off of you.
You admire his creativity for this even though you know it's coming from the pit of his lewd, juvenile brain.
"Oh, yeah!" He lets a celebratory roar but it soon dies down as someone else comes toward you in his confident, wide strides.
Your stomach is fluttering as Minho stands right in front of you, looking like Adonis with his sharp nose and chiseled jaws, got you holding your breath and wondering what he's about to do to you.
Minho is unpredictable which is exactly what you're looking for in a man.
You see he dips his two fingers into the honey and brings them close to your lips, smearing it all over. Your lungs are shrinking the longer you hold your breath yet you can't seem to breathe when he's leaning so close and about to...
Minho doesn't kiss you. Instead of that, he licks your lips and you can feel his hot tongue on your lips. One lick is all it takes to make your heart skip a beat.
When you think he's done, Minho tugs your lower lip between his teeth and gently bites it, pulling at it before letting it go.
As he takes a step back, Minho shoves his fingers to his mouth, a half smirk that signified he just evened the score with you.
-
YOU: Minho got the signals after all [slyly smiles]
-
When the host of the show enters you finally snap yourself out of it.
"Wild night, huh?" He asks everyone.
"Yeah!" Bryan answers the loudest.
"It gets wilder because I have a surprise for you guys!" The host announces.
That gets everyone excited, guessing what kind of surprise they'll bring on the first night of the show. They expect so much because everything has been great already. More girls? More boys? A celebrity guest? A DJ?
"Are you guys ready?"
Everyone is hyped, shooting up from their seats and jumping in excitement like kids on Christmas morning.
"Bring it in!"
The attention shifts to the two staff carrying a big wooden box and placing it in the center. The anticipation is rising and everyone can't wait to see what's inside.
"Five! Four! Three! Two..."
Everyone counting down the second and when it finally gets to one, the side of the box opens, revealing a cone-shaped thing inside, lighting up in purple colors.
Then you hear the infamous ding sound that you know for sure it's coming from Lana, the ultimate cockblocker.
Your excitement fizzles out in a second and drop your head on your hands, "Oh, fuck!"
Maisie squeals while Agnes shrieks in horror and the rest are wondering what is that thing, oblivious to the fact that they're about to be forced into celibacy.
"Is that an air freshener?" Jai asks in pure confusion.
"That's Lana!" You say.
"What?" He cringes and is still confused.
"She's going to cockblock us!" You concisely tell him what's about to happen to all of you.
"We're on Too Hot To Handle!" Zara breaks the news for everyone and makes it real for you that you're trapped in this show.
"Hello, I'm Lana, your personal digital assistant!" The cone starts speaking.
"Welcome to the retreat!"
-
YOU: What. The actual. Fuck?
-
"The purpose of this retreat is to help you gain deeper and more emotional connections."
Alia whines and then sighs, "I signed up for dicks," she lowly mutters.
You lowly laugh at her words, not realizing that you're also laughing at your pain.
"For the last 12 hours, I have been watching you and learning about your behavior. You have been selected as all of you are having meaningless flings over genuine relationships."
The more Lana speaks the more you feel like fainting. Can't believe that she threw a party, and got everyone all hot and bothered, delivering shocking news in the middle of it to let everyone know that they can't have a release at the end of it.
"As part of your social development, I have allocated a prize of $200,000."
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YOU: That much money makes me horny, to be honest.
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"How about I give you $200,000 for you to go away, Lana?" Luca jokingly offers but it falls short since Lana has no ears.
Even if she had one, she wouldn't listen to him anyway, Lana is her own boss.
"However, I will deduct money from the prize fund if there are breaches of the rules."
Looking at them and how wild the things they've done this night alone, you can tell that there'll be not much money left at the end.
"For those of you who need reminding, there is to be no kissing...."
"Fuck!" Zara bluntly curses.
"No heavy petting, no sex..."
"Oh, my God!" Agnes panicking, looking like she's about to hyperventilating.
"And no self-gratification."
Jack's eyebrow raises in question, "What's that mean?"
"No masturbating," you tell him with a sad smile.
He looks devastated as if you've just told him a relative has died, "for real?"
You stifle a nod.
"Welcome to your long, hard, sexless summer," Lana finishes.
-
YOU: Boys make me horny. Money makes me horny. I'm fucked.
-
Everyone in the dressing room is groaning and complaining about the turn of Pleasure Island into No Pleasure Island with Lana ending the party for everyone.
You don't want to be dragged down into the misery pit and decide to finish your night routine quickly, wanting to end the day already.
Minho's bed is right next to the door and he's laying there as if he's been waiting for you.
"You'll sleep on this bed," he says, stopping you from walking.
You tip your head to the side, then let out a low chuckle, "How are you so sure?"
He leans back on his pillow and puts his hands under his head, "because I'm sleeping here," he answers.
Minho is so cocky, so pretty, a menacing force in this retreat and you're intrigued to see what it feels like to sleep with the devil's advocate.
You crawl onto the bed and lay next to him, not showing any signs that you'll fall into his temptations, at least, not tonight.
-
YOU: Well, as expected, the best girl won!
-
The next thing you anticipate is how Maisie or Alia is going to react to seeing you in one bed with Minho.
Minho has his hand resting on your stomach like he's trying to hold you down, not letting you go anywhere even though you're under the cover with him, chatting with Agnes who's occupying the next bed with Jai.
Maisie is the first one to see that her number one guy is on the bed with someone else, she glances away and is left with no choice but to sleep with Jack tonight.
You don't have to look to know that she's throwing daggers at you with her eyes from across the room.
And Alia looks calm about it, she's going to sleep with Luca anyway. Perhaps, she's switching onto his lane tonight.
"No one breaks the rules tonight!" Bryan remarks.
There's always that one guy who's going to protect the money but it's a surprise that it's going to be Bryan.
"Be good!" He warns once again as he looks around the room.
Something about being reminded not to do something though only encourages all of these horn dogs to do it.
You turn your head to see Minho and can't tell what he'd likely do. With most men, you can easily tell everything about them but Minho... he is uncharted territory but it's a good thing that you're eager to explore.
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YOU: Minho is so perfect and I feel the need to violate it.
-
You're usually jealous to see anyone prettier than you but not with Minho.
Instead of being jealous, you want to admire him, and worship him like a divine being he is. You hesitate to touch him because it doesn't feel real to exist in the same space and time with him.
It's getting dangerous now that the lights are out and anything can happen in the dark.
He turns to lie on his side and face you, with the dim light coming from the sleep lamps you can see his eyes are open and looking at you.
You reach for his hair and put the strand away from curtaining his forehead, "Are you going to be good tonight?" You keep your voice low as everyone else is going to sleep.
His hand finds your waist under the cover and then he answers, "I don't know."
He then slides his hand to the arch of your back and using all of his strength, he pulls you close until your body is against him.
Brushing your hair to the side, he then brings his mouth close to your ear and whispers, "We'll see."
His vague answers only make you feel uneasy but your chest is overflowing with excitement that you can't sleep, even when you're sleeping, you feel alerted with every movement of his body against you.
In the middle of the night, he disrupts your sleep with a gentle kiss on your neck. He then slides down the strap of your tank top so he can place kisses along your collarbone.
The quiet in the room is filled with the rustles coming from this bed as Minho hovers above you, he takes both of your hands and pins them above your head.
You believe he specifically chooses this time to see if you can keep it quiet as he places kisses down your neck and chest. Each kiss leaves a searing mark on your skin with a few low moans slipping past your mouth.
You don't even try to break away from the hand pinning your hands by the wrists but can't stay still as he's teasing you more by kissing you all over your face, except your lips.
He teased you earlier by only licking your lips and by doing this, he wants to see how far can you go and see if he can make you push the limit.
Minho is a fucking sadist but what can you do when you get pleasure in pain?
He lands his lips so close to your lips that you reflexively open your mouth, ready to return his kiss but he retracts himself, you can see how pathetic you are from the way he's looking down at you.
"Are you going to be good tonight?" He asks you back, then loosening the hold around your hands.
Minho is turning the table back, leaving the decision whether to rule break or not to you.
In that case, he was wrong to think you'd be afraid to be the first to rule break.
-
YOU: Well, I mean... [bites lips] I've never been a good girl anyway.
-
That half-smirk of his is mocking you but he looks so damn attractive whenever he does that.
You hate losing but for this one time, you're going to like it.
"You fucking tease," you mutter to him, putting your hand on the nape of his neck and bringing his head close.
The bad wins tonight and you can feel the burn as both of your lips touch and clash in a blazing kiss that sets your body on fire.
You wrap your legs around his waist and draw him closer, leaving not even an inch between your bodies, your breasts squashed between your chests.
You kiss him hard and deep, making the most of it knowing that it will cost you money. Your hands are tugging at his soft locks.
His tongue skillfully parts your lips open and invades your mouth, deepening the kiss to get as much taste as he can. He is one phenomenal kisser and even if you had to die of asphyxiation, you don't want to stop.
However, you still want to live to play this game with him and he seems to have the same plan by the way he slowly pulling away. You both gasp for air the second you let go of the kiss.
You land soft pecks on his cheek and neck, turning his head to the side, You whisper "I let you win tonight," then playfully bite his ear.
-
YOU: And just like that, we're the first to break the rules in the retreat.
-
"Good morning!" Agnes cheerfully greets everyone the second the lights are on.
"Morning!" You mumble your reply, still feeling sleepy with how little you slept last night.
Bryan pinches the bridge of his nose and scans everyone to spot any guilty faces, he looks even bigger topless next to Zara who owns a model body.
"I really thought I was dreaming that I'm in Too Hot To Handle," Agnes innocently shares.
You softly laugh at that and indirectly, at the satire of your own life. You turn to look at Minho, looking so beautiful even when he's just woken up from sleep.
"How about you?" You put your leg over him under the cover, rubbing his shin with your toes.
"Did you dream a sweet dream?"
Minho slouches down on his pillow, looking like he's about to go back to sleep, "It was sweet but it wasn't a dream."
He casually says that like it wouldn't bring back the recollection of how the two of you kissed last night and you're not going to lie, it gets you wet just thinking about it.
-
YOU: Waking up next to him, the first thought that comes to mind is our kiss last night. Gosh... it was so fucking hot.
-
"Didn't you say you like Jack?" Zara asks the second both of you are out of everyone's earshot.
"But I didn't say I only like him," you playfully respond.
She giggles in amusement, "You're a trouble. I like it," she says.
Working out with her at the beach, earning you some tips and exercises you can to get her perfect body figure.
"You got some real competitions though," she says while doing a minute-long plank.
You're running out of breath but manage to answer her, "So?"
Zara chuckles again, "You're not afraid you're juggling two men and going against two girls at once?"
When she puts it like that it sounds like you're creating a problem for yourself. In this retreat, you can't just do whatever you want without getting the consequences considering that you're locked in with them for the next few weeks.
"Well... I like Minho more," you tell her and drop to the mat as one minute has passed.
"Yeah?" She asks for further details.
"But he makes me second guessing everything," you concisely explain.
You turn over and cover your eyes to shield them from the morning sun, "with Jack, it's easier. I don't have to think around him."
Zara turns to start doing side plank, "You're not looking for a good pet here!" She playfully scolds you.
You laugh and follow her lead to do the same, "Unless Minho likes someone else then he's my number one right now."
Zara gently slaps your butt, almost sending you toppled to the front, "that's a good girl!"
-
YOU: It's only day two and the options are still open but I know what I want. I want Minho.
-
It's convenient that the dressing room is empty at this time with most of everyone already dressed and dolled up for the day.
"Did anything happen with big boy Bryan last night?" You slyly ask while she's putting her fake lashes on.
She lets out a long sigh in response and slaps her spatula on the table, "What do you expect from an accountant?"
It all makes sense now. Bryan is an accountant, he thinks about the money more than treating his girlfriend with a smooch.
You burst into laughter and stop applying mascara, "hate to say it to you but you chose the wrong guy to be in the show with."
She glares at you from her table then looks back in the mirror, "he chose to play the good cop so that leaves me no choice but to play the bad cop."
"Ooo..." you coo, impressed with her determination to make Bryan break the rule with her.
"If you need a smooch, just know that I will give it to you in a heartbeat," you tell her with a sly smile.
Luca walks in on you applying sunblock on each other's body and he refrains from getting to his locker.
"What did I walk into?" He confoundedly asks.
As Zara bends down against the table, you lather sunblock on her ample butt then slap at it, entertaining the sole spectator in the room.
Luca is too stunned to speak that he's just standing there with his locker door open, "Damn. Do that again!"
The sight that welcomes you as you walk out of the house is of Minho in the pool with the Maisie and you owe it to her to give her a chance, making it a play fair.
You turn the other way and decide to sunbathe on the lounger with Alia, chatting about some good skincare products since she's done some beauty ads.
After a while, you see Agnes and Jai walking back from the beach. From the way Jai is grinning from ear to ear, you can tell that they did something that cost some money.
"Hey, girls," she innocently greets you both and sits on the farthest lounger.
"Hey," you reply then exchange a look with Alia.
She seems to also get the same impression and straightforwardly asks Agnes about it, "Did you just spend some money?"
Knowing that she has a bad poker face, Agnes licks her lips and stifles a nod.
"Oh, no..." Alia sighs and picks up her water tumbler from the floor to take a sip.
You see Jai is joining Luca and Jack in the pool, it's only about time that everyone knows someone has broken a rule and the others will soon take their turn.
-
YOU: They just didn't know that they're not the first to break the rules, eh? [bites thumb]
-
Zara packed a lot of outfits with her and you get to borrow one.
"I'm going to look so hot Bryan can't say no to me," she remarks.
You must admire her confidence and it's indeed looking good on her, you should have some on you as well if you want to win this competition.
The night is cool with a warm breeze blowing from the sea, carrying the salty air ashore. It's so easy to locate Minho since he's the only one that always catches your eye.
He's wearing a white shirt with the three top buttons open, exposing his chest muscles, and sitting with his legs spreading open.
You feel like dropping to your knees between those muscular legs and... you push the thought away. You focus on the mission you have to do.
One of the things you like about Minho is that he doesn't waste time, he's straightforward and that's what you're about to do, going straight to business.
"Calling for me?" You poke fun even though he doesn't say anything but sipping his drink by himself.
The sofa can fit three people but Minho's thick thighs are looking so comfortable you can't help yourself to sit on them.
"Do I look good?" You take his hand and put it on your waist.
"Not bad," he answers.
He reclines on the sofa, head tilting upward looking at you and that way, you can admire his beautiful face from the top, inexplicably never getting tired of it.
There's no need for words when you can see everything in his eyes, the way he's intensely staring into your eyes with his thumb lazily rubbing the arch of your back.
The tension is there and it's electrifying, you feel alive when you're with him.
"I like your eyes..." you say as you put your hand on his jaw and your eyes drop to his lips.
Minho softly laughs because he knows you're looking nowhere near his eyes when you say it. He puts a finger under the thin strap of your dress and twirls it around his finger.
"I like yours too," he says back as he's undressing you with his eyes.
-
YOU: God! I want him and I'm going to get him.
-
Putting your hands around his neck, you draw him close and put a few inches of safe space between your faces.
Pfft, it's not like it's going to stop you from breaking the rules.
"Are you going to be good tonight?" You ask.
"I haven't decided yet," he shortly answers.
You lean into whisper into his ear, "If you're good then I'll give you something as good later."
Now Minho knows what you mean by being good. That he won't let anyone turn his head or get tempted to break the rules with someone else.
Knowing his nature, you doubt that it will not stop him but it's worth trying. He got a taste of it last night and there's a big possibility that he wants more of it.
You softly kiss his cheek and take his glass of drink from his hand, not hesitating to take a sip.
Let's see how the night goes.
-
YOU: I think it's going to be a good night.
-
Too much confidence isn't good either.
You feel a little bitter when you see Minho openly flirting with Alia just a few feet away from you. A moment after that, he talks to Maisie.
You scoff because he decides to turn it into his game and you know what?
You feel like making him sweat a little, especially with Jack sitting across from you and checking you out long enough that you can't ignore it anymore.
You lay on your side and decide to tease him a little, "Nice shirt!"
His mouth curls into a sly smile, "Nice body!" He shamelessly compliments you back.
Agnes comes into the scene and sits on the sofa, letting you rest your head on her lap.
"How about me?" She asks.
His smile grows wider, "You two are on the top of my list!"
"Really?" Agnes asks in curiosity as she drags the letter R.
He points at you and says, "I'm obsessed with you but I think you know that."
"Whoa!" You respond in awe, surprised by how daring and blunt he is.
-
YOU: I'm not going to lie but I like the attention Jack is giving me right now.
-
You make a space between you and Agnes, patting it as you tell him, "Come sit here!"
Agnes folds her legs on the sofa and also tells him to come, "We're not going to bite unless you want us to," she says.
Jack, like the puppy he is, hops onto the sofa and sits between you and Agnes.
You lean in close to his side and put one leg over his thigh, slipping your hand into his brown, curly hair.
"Not sure about some bites but Jack wants some kisses," he confidently demands like the two of you would easily give it to him.
Agnes looks at you and you look back at her, in a few seconds of eye contact you know that she wants to do it, she shares the same chaotic energy with you.
"Jack wants some kisses, huh?" You childishly talk to him.
Jack turns his head to look at you and puckers his lips.
"Only if you say please!" You tell him.
"Please..." he pleads by adorably dragging the word.
You grab his chin and lean in to kiss him which he eagerly returns with so much passion, trying to show you what he got.
Not wanting to give him too much, you pull away from the kiss and say, "Agnes is a better kisser," you jokingly say to bruise his little ego.
"Yeah?" He says with an eyebrow raised.
"Why don't you try yourself?" You dare him.
Jack turns to the other side and Agnes doesn't give him one second to prepare himself, showing him how to get it done. You take your drink and sip it while watching them kiss in front of you.
-
YOU: I kissed Jack not because I have a feeling for him. We're just having fun [shrugs]
-
It was an eventful night.
Even though you have no idea what Minho did the rest of the night, you don't want to think too much about it, especially after what you've done behind him.
Thankfully, Lana hasn't announced any rule breaks yet and you can sleep in peace for tonight.
You walk to the bedroom in heavy steps and hate that you're feeling scared that Minho suddenly decides to sleep with someone else after being busy flirting with everyone the whole night.
You never know with him and this time, there's no excitement, it's just anxiety. You push the door with your shoulder and find the bed is still empty, you reckon he's still washing up.
Jack flashes you a smile as you get under the cover and it's only making you more anxious. You get startled when the bed shifts as Minho climbs from the other side.
Since he's not that cuddly of a person, you take his arm out so you can rest your head on it and snuggle close to his side, letting out a quiet sigh of relief.
"How was your night, my beautiful man?" You ask, your hand gently rubbing down his clothed chest.
"Good," he replies, twirling his finger around the thin strap of your black tank top.
"I can make it better," you whisper, lowering your hand down until your fingers meet the waistband of his boxer.
He looks at you and one corner of his mouth raises into his signature half-smirk, "No one is stopping you."
Bryan catches the two of you being suspicious and points it out at everyone, "Hands where I can see them!" He orders.
Instead of complying, Minho shoves your other hand under the cover and keeps them there.
"Minho, man, come on!" Bryan hopelessly scolds him.
It's in the dark that Minho once again starts his exploration.
He pulls you by the waist until there's not an inch of gap left between your bodies, you perfectly mold into his body as he spoons you from behind.
As he presses his lips on the nape of your neck, his hand traces the side of your body, stopping on the back of your thigh to squeeze the soft flesh there.
"I've been good tonight," he whispers to you.
You softly chuckle, not expecting that he'll be asking for what you promised him.
Without turning, you softly slip your hand in his hair, "Really?"
He places a long peck on your jaw, "mmh."
You turn to lay on your stomach and prop a hand under your head, leisurely looking at his beautiful face in the dark.
The plan was you're going to tease him just like he did with you the other night but after what you did and the assurance you got from that misbehavior. You want to show him that you don't want to play a game tonight, or ever again.
Tenderly, you caress his face and hold his jaw as you lean in, kissing him so slowly yet passionately. Minho seems to sense that there's something different about the kiss.
He brushes your hair to the side and holds it there as he returns the kiss to you, his other hand is slipped under your tanktop, splayed on your back with his thumb faintly rubbing the skin.
If only breathing wasn't necessary, you would keep kissing him.
You pull away and press your head close to the side of his head, placing little kisses on his jaw.
"That's money well spent," you comment.
He turns his head to face you and it only entices you to kiss him again but immediately refrain out of the fear of being head-locked by Bryan's giant arms tomorrow.
You sweetly kiss his cheek and lowly mutter, "Goodnight!"
Minho glides his hand up to your neck and looks at you, "Goodnight!"
-
YOU: Honestly, I wasn't thinking of Minho when I kissed Jack but after it happened, it only got to me then that I really like him.
-
When you wake up, anxiety dawns on you.
You feel sick in the stomach when Lana chimes in and lights up in the corner of the room.
"Good morning, everyone!"
You silently plead that Lana would not drop the news this soon. Not when you just woke up from a nice, long sleep with Minho cuddling you all night.
"Morning," you meekly answer with a yawn at the end and accidentally meet Agnes's eyes on the next bed, exchanging a knowing, uneasy glance.
"Today's weather will be sunny with highs of 82⁰ Fahrenheit and there will be zero chance of sex."
Jai breaks into laughter and puts his arm around Agnes's shoulder, "She's fucking quality, she is."
The day barely started, you can already tell it's not going to be a good one. You're counting down the minutes or even seconds until Lana tells everyone all of your sins.
-
YOU: I'm a bit on edge. Not a bit actually. I'm on THE edge.
-
Even after a session of yoga with Alia, doesn't help you relax at all.
You've done this plenty of times before, going from one casual partner to another in the blink of an eye and never feeling the slightest bit guilty about it. You don't know what changed when you're playing the same game and the only difference is that you're doing it with Minho.
It's after you showered and are immersed in the girl's talk while doing your make-up you finally can have a little peace.
"Have you cracked big boy Bryan yet?" You ask Zara.
Zara carefully swipes the brush on her cheekbones to apply some highlighter, "Girl, as if!"
"That big body comes with a tough personality too," Agnes comments, squinting her eyes to draw a neat line of black eyeliner.
"When we cuddle in bed, he locked me with his arms to make sure I didn't do anything," Zara rants, borrowing your pencil liner without asking.
"You should be grateful that he didn't headlock you to sleep," Alia chimes in as she braids her hair in front of the mirror.
You and Agnes are breaking into laughter at the same time.
That's when Lana decides that it's time for judgment. The cone chimes, startling everyone in the dressing room.
"Hello, girls!" She says.
Zara fans her eyes as she just puts on her fake lashes, "What's up, Lana?"
"Please gather everyone to the cabana!" She orders.
You exchange a knowing and uneasy glance with Agnes as your heart is beating out of your chest. Every step you take to get to the cabana is getting heavier the closer you get there.
There's a space next to Minho on the sofa but sitting next to him will only make you more anxious. You sit in the middle between Luca and Maisie, it's safer to be out of Minho's sight.
"I wonder who kissed who?" Luca asks with a haunting tone.
-
YOU: Counting my own mistakes, I know for sure that I broke the rules three times [shakes head in disappointment]
-
Your concern is not the money.
You believe someone else broke a rule or two as well. For example, everyone knew about Jai and Agnes's kiss at the beach.
Also, you're not afraid to admit the ones you committed together with Minho, it's the other ones that you're not proud of.
The sickening sound of Lana coming online makes your heart drop to your stomach.
"Hello, everyone!"
You can't find it in you to reply to her and awkwardly smile in response while everyone else is weakly returning her greeting.
"You were brought here to form deeper emotional connections and were given rules to adhere to. Those rules forbid sexual contact."
Even though Lana is a high-tech virtual assistant, you can hear in her voice that she's not pleased with everyone.
"Despite this, yesterday, your flagrant disregard for the rules has resulted in a deduction of $21,000."
There is a mix of shrieks, gasps, and curses happening all at once. Well, at least, now you know you're not the only one spending the money.
"You guys are blowing it," Alia says in disappointment.
"In total, there were seven rule breaks," Lana shares further details.
-
YOU: I contributed three out of those seven rule breaks but who did the other four? [squints eyes]
-
"Time to fess up!" Bryan calls the shot.
Everyone is looking at each other and trying to see any guilty faces. After a while, Minho points at you and calmly says, "I kissed her twice."
Now, that's a man. Minho doesn't falter as he owns up to his misdeeds and even says that it was he who kissed you when in fact, you were the first one to cave in to the temptations.
Maybe it's because of how fast Minho comes clean about it or it could be because of how overwhelming for him to know that two rules have been broken, Bryan only sighs and then moves on to find where the rest of the money went, "how about the other five?"
You gulp air again and pass the turn to someone else. Jai has the worst poker face he can't keep himself from grinning, "We did too," he says while half laughing, "You guys knew we did it on the beach once and did it again last night."
Agnes is looking down on her lap as Jai admits everything and adds an apology at the end, "I'm sorry, you guys!"
Bryan closes his eyes and his eyelids flutter, "Okay then, anyone else?"
Luca who's sitting next to you suddenly raises his hand, "I kissed Maisie last night," he confesses.
That is not what you expect and you're aware that you're getting in between them by sitting there. You didn't know Maisie had given up on Minho already.
"Just once!" He quickly adds.
Maisie even backs him up right after, "We shared a moment and we wanted to see if there's chemistry."
That shocks everyone but Bryan seems to give him a pass for only breaking one rule. Not sure what he'll do when he finds out about the last two rule breaks.
Agnes has been avoiding everyone's eyes and you don't expect much from Jack, he's staying quiet because no one suspects anything because he's harmless and the youngest.
-
YOU: But I have to be honest, right?
-
"I kissed Jack," you blurt out.
There's a long pause then Zara snaps her head in your direction, "What?"
Luca laughs next to you, "Look at him, sitting there all quiet," he says and keeps laughing afterward
A grin blooms on Jack's face, maybe it's the grand scene that he's been pictured in his head that he's not what everyone thought he was.
"Well, it's obviously because I like her," he shortly explains.
He rubs his chin and continues speaking, "And I don't regret that one if I'm being honest."
You've been avoiding looking at Minho's direction but you get the urge to see his reaction, not sure what you're expecting but he looks strangely calm about this.
When he's about to look your way, you hurriedly look away though.
You turn to look at the other culprit who's smiling like an angel next to her guy and you can't go down on your own.
"Agnes!" You call and wait until she looks at you to say, "You kissed Jack too!'
"WHAT?" Zara gasps and then covers her mouth, her eyes widen in surprise.
"Why did you do that?" Bryan asks since she's sitting close to her.
Jai who's sitting next to her looks not pleased at all, leaning back with his hands balled into fists on his sides. You would love to see Minho get a little upset too but when you glance his way, he looks not bothered at all.
Now that the offenders have admitted their crimes, Lana can announce the damages done to the prize money.
"I must also inform you that with these multiple rule breaks that happened in the last 24 hours, I have been left with no choice but to double the fine as of this moment."
Bryan's face drops onto his big hands and brushes his head to the back, making his combed hair disheveled in a second.
"Which means $42,000 has been deducted from the prize fund."
There are moans and groans of complaints but there's nothing anyone can do except try to keep their hands to themselves from now on.
"No more spending!" Bryan remarks, crossing his muscular hands together to form the letter X.
Everyone else is nodding in agreement but with almost a quarter of the prize money lost in one day, you're not the only one feeling pessimistic that there would be money left at the end of the retreat.
-
YOU: That means I spent $18,000 in one night? Whoops.
-
What makes them think that doing bondage in a workshop would help to take your mind off sex?
You're not sure if that's what the workshop is going to be but you see the waxed ropes and that's the first thing you have in mind.
"Today, we're going to learn Shibari," the guest sex expert announces.
"An ancient Japanese technique used to improve intimacy and trust in relationships," she shares with everyone.
Minho and you have no problem with intimacy but with what you've done recently, it seems that Minho is likely to have a trust issue with you.
"It's a bit more risque but it really does teach people how to trust which is the foundation for any long-lasting relationship," the expert further explains.
"Have you guys ever played with bondage, handcuffs, or any type of restraints?" The expert asks.
A few raise their hands in pride and you see Minho as the experimental type, always open to everything. You don't see him raising his hand, he's too busy shielding his face from the sun.
You take the first turn and can't decide which one you want to do, you haven't done this. Picking up the smaller rope in red color, you decide to do the simplest one called the Hand Prayer tie.
Minho doesn't need to be told, he puts both hands together in front of him and lets you tie rope around it.
"It goes around the middle fingers," he instructed.
As expected, Minho knows how to do this. It's a piece of information that both excites and scares you but in the best way.
After a lot of errors, you are finally done and not impressed with how you didn't tie the rope tight enough that Minho has no problem taking it off without your help.
-
YOU: Oh, yep, just exactly what Minho needs right now: tie me up.
-
"Are you ready?" Minho asks as he takes the bigger rope in the color black.
Now that he's about to tie you, you suddenly get a little nervous too.
"No," you answer with a low laugh.
He starts by turning you around, making you stand with your back facing him, not allowing you to see which knot he's going to do with.
"Hands to the back," he orders with his head looming on your shoulder.
You comply right away, putting your hands to the back.
"Shibari is based on power play. When you're the person with the rope, the rigger, you're actually the one who is surrendering and trusting your partner," the expert says as she walks around watching everyone tying each other up.
That's what you're going to do, you're going to trust Minho and he'll be having too much fun with it but he'll do nothing to hurt you.
The second the rope brushes with your skin, you feel a chill down your spine and when Minho pulls them, tightening them around your wrists, you let out a low moan.
Once he's done with the hands, he tidies the ends of the rope before instructing you to lay on your stomach on the mat
You're getting even more nervous as he bends your legs to the back and ties them together.
"Too tight?" He asks.
You test the knot by twisting your ankles together but it doesn't budge at all, "mmh," you hum in answer.
"Good," he calmly responds.
If this is his way of getting back at you then you just have to accept it. You should be grateful that he doesn't tie the rope around your neck.
He then brings your hands and legs together, tying them with the rest of the rope. He pulls at it to make sure the knot is securely tied.
You try to wiggle your body and try any way you can to break away but it's a fruitless effort, you're running out of breath from lying on your stomach for too long.
Minho notices and helps you to turn over, but your hands are now pressed under your body as you lay on your back.
"I can't get out of this," you tell him as he stands, towering over your body.
"No, you can't," he says with a malicious grin.
Minho then lays next to you on the mat, scoots closer to shield you from the sun, and then props a hand under his head as he enjoys watching you helplessly lying next to him.
"You're enjoying this," you say.
That's a wrong thing to say because he hasn't started yet. He picks a flower from the plant near him and uses it to caress your body, dragging the soft petal down the front of your body.
He knows that it does things to you and he can see it from the way your chest is heaving as the flower reaches to your lower abdomen.
Your legs are slightly shaking as he drags it lower and then stops right on the elastic band of your bikini bottom, tugging the flower there.
-
YOU: I must say it's the best kind of punishment. I don't even think it's a punishment [winks]
-
"Why did you kiss him?"
You know that Zara has been waiting to ask you that from the moment she found out about it.
You dab your face with a layer of foundation to get ready for the night, "I don't know. I was having fun."
She gives you a scolding look and tips her head to the side, "Girl!"
"I know but at that time I was feeling like... You know, it was so easy to break the rules," you honestly answer because you did feel that way.
There was nothing intimate about the kiss with Jack, if anything it was selfish of you to spend money on a meaningless kiss. You can see now how foolish you were for doing that.
"But instead of upset, I am so jealous of you," she says with a sad sigh.
You get quiet because you know how hard it is for her to even try to tempt Bryan to break the rules with her.
"He didn't even let me cuddle him," she adds.
It's a good thing that Bryan wants to be on Lana's good side but he disregards Zara's opinions about it, putting her needs aside which makes him just as selfish as you are.
-
YOU: The plan is I'm going to look hot, be a good girl, and talk to Minho. Wish me luck [Crosses fingers]
-
Taking a glass of drink to fuel your courage, you check if Minho is in a good mood before coming and start talking to him.
"Can I sit with you?" You ask for his permission when you usually would plop down next to him without asking.
He glances up and nods, "Yeah."
Minho doesn't talk much and you should be used to his short, concise answers but it seems a little different tonight, there's an edge to it.
You sit next to him and put a space in between, "You look good tonight," you compliment.
Minho is indeed looking good tonight. That's why he model, because everything looks good on him but you bet that he looks better with nothing on.
He tips his head to one side and looks at the dress you're wearing, "You too," he compliments back with a thin smile.
A little attention is better than nothing. You sweetly smile and mutter, "Aw, thank you!"
Before you forget your initial reason because of just one compliment, you remind yourself that you come to talk.
"So... how are we feeling?" You ask, testing the water before diving right into it.
"About what?" He innocently asks.
You lick your lips before answering, "About the kiss."
"Which kiss?"
Your palms are getting sweaty on your lap. It's like whatever answer you're going to give him would be a wrong one.
"Our kisses or...?" He asks again because you stay quiet.
You take a breath and try to slowly explain everything, "I think the kisses we shared are special. I can see that we have chemistry and connection."
He tilts his head low enough to give you the stare, "If that's so then why did you kiss someone else?"
You keep your calm and answer, "That kiss with Jack, it was nothing. I don't have any feelings for him so you don't have to worry about that."
Minho responds with a nod but no words come out of his slightly parted mouth.
-
YOU: I usually just walk away from a situation like this and stop caring about it but I want to make this work with him.
-
"Are you mad at me?" You ask because that's what you're dying to know.
He's been too calm that you start to think that he probably doesn't like you to even care about it but he only replies with a shrug.
"I don't want you to be mad at me because I do like you," you tell him to get an answer out of him.
He stares at you and makes you wait in anticipation to get a response from him. After a while, he leans back on the sofa and says, "We'll see."
You usually like the mystery those words bring whenever Minho says that but not this time.
"'We'll see'? What is that supposed to mean?" You ask in pure confusion.
"I need time," he answers.
You scoff and try to process his answer, "You want me to sit around and wait for like what? A week? Ten days?"
He slumps down the sofa and spreads his legs, casually he says, "I need time to get over it so until then... We'll see."
-
YOU: I kissed Jack because I saw Minho flirting with the other girls so why am I the only one having to wait for him to come around?
-
"Okay," you meekly say even though you're not sure that he'll get over it before the retreat ends.
You think that this is possibly his way to keep his options open or maybe that your fear is true, he doesn't like you that much. You just like to play games with each other.
"Are we still going to sleep in the same bed?"
"I don't know," he replies.
This is probably the right time to cut everything off before you get too attached to him when the options are still wide open and who knows that Lana will bring more guests to the retreat, there are many possibilities so why do you have to trap yourself in such a confusing situation and wasting your time on one guy?
You look away and shrug, "Okay, alright."
-
YOU: If Minho doesn't want to give me what I want then I'll just have to get it from someone else.
-
You're not tired but you're so ready for bed. You brush your hair quickly before going to the bedroom.
You don't look around but going to Jack's bed, you put the duvet away and say, "Come on, you're sleeping with me tonight," you tell him.
He looks taken aback but awkwardly follows you as you climb onto the bed you shared with Minho for the past two days.
Agnes is giving you the questioning look but just like everyone else, they don't say anything but let the drama unfold.
You get under the cover with him and turn to the side to look at him, "Are you cuddly, Jack?"
He pauses for a moment then says, "I am."
"I love good cuddles."
"Yeah?" He asks with a gleeful grin and eyes that are filled with hopeful glints.
"Of course."
-
YOU: I told you, Jack is my cute boy toy.
-
You slip your hand in his curls and play with it, at the same time, watching the door because Minho can come at any minute now.
"Your hair is so soft," you comment.
The door swings open and Minho steps inside, stopping on his track for a second to see that someone else has taken his spot.
The brief look he gives you is enough to make you gulp air, he's saying nothing but has to share a bed with Alia.
The silence is suffocating as everyone watches intently every gesture or expression on either you or Minho to get any hints about what's happening between the two of you.
Their eyes are going back and forth because your beds are facing each other.
"Don't you feel a little hot, Jack?" You ask.
"Uhm..." he hums as he thinks of an answer to such an easy question, "I think so."
You sit on the bed and look in Minho's direction, not necessarily seeing him eye to eye. You take your top off, not caring that this will be broadcasted all over the world and everyone can see your tits.
"Oh... fuck..." you hear Jack curses under his breath next to you.
Minho takes a sip of water from his tumbler and you can see that his jaw tensed as he swallows his water.
Once the lights are out, you get under the cover and turn to the side to face Jack. For someone who kissed two girls at once, he's playing safe by keeping his hands away from you.
You lean in close to his pillow, "How was your day?"
He rakes his brain to answer another simple question, "Can't complain," he answers.
You giggle because of how cute he is, how oblivious to the fact that you're using him to make Minho jealous. When you think about the kiss you shared with him, he isn't that bad of a kisser, he was too excited at that time to focus on using his skill.
You kind of want to give him a second chance so you lean in closer and ask him, "What do you think about spending 6 grand tonight?"
-
YOU: We'll see? No, Minho. You'll see.
-
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disneyprincemuke · 2 months
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ღ this barbie’s teammate is a schumacher
notes: hello gays it is i, finally writing for barbie
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she closes the car door and sighs with a small smile, looking at the building ahead of her. this will be her life until she decides otherwise. she shoves her car keys into her purse and watches curiously as another supercar pulls into the empty lot next to her.
is that who she thinks it is?
she takes a step towards her car, watching the car be parked into the slot flawlessly. she tilts her head when it comes to a stop, the driver's side opening to reveal its driver.
"oh!" she shrieks, running around the front of her car to approach the young man. "mick schumacher, right? i am such a big fan! i'm so excited to finally be working with you!"
the german takes a step back, overwhelmed by the sudden presence of the girl in pink approaching him. she has a pair of sunglasses resting on the top of her head, a fur coat on and a purse hanging off her elbow.
"oh, hi," mick smiles politely. he's not a mean person; he's just a little more introverted than the next guy. "i'm glad to be with honda this year. i'm looking forward to spending the year with you."
he was in deep thought before she came up to him. he wondered, as the way he's been doing for years, if the rumours that he'd been scouted for the second seat at the request of his boss's daughter. but who is he to complain; he's racing in f1 again. does it matter how he got back into it?
surely not.
but this girl that stands in front of him – could she be an intern? she looks fairly young, very enthusiastic, and a glimmer of hope in her eyes that he doesn't see from individuals his age often. perhaps a marketing intern.
"alright, well, i'll see you inside! i love the sweater, by the way!" she shrieks, waving at him with a wide smile. she waves at him as she walks away, cautiously crossing the parking lot as the rest of the cars for the day start to roll in. "and the car! you have to give me a tour someday!"
he waves back at her in confusion, only able to mutter a 'goodbye' to himself as she disappears into the big front doors of the building. he locks his car and follows her in the direction she left, ready to start his new year with a new team.
he spends the next 10 minutes navigating the new factory he'll be frequenting from now on. introducing himself to people, familiarising himself with the engineers he'll be working closely with, and other members of the team. it's a surprisingly bigger team than he had initially thought, so it takes him longer than he expected.
about 20 minutes introducing himself and trying to pin names with the new faces. then he ends up in a quiet office, shaking his leg in anticipation as he awaits his first face-to-face meeting with his new teammate and his boss.
he hears clicks of heels right by the door, prompting him to sit up a little straighter as he glances behind him quickly. he straightens his sweater, pulls his sleeves down and wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans. he can't screw himself over.
"i'm telling you, daddy, he's got the coolest car! i saw him in the parking lot earlier!" the door opens, revealing two figures with two familiar faces. which, shouldn't be the case, because this is the first time he's meeting his teammate.
"do you want one, honey?"
"no, that's so silly! i love my car!" she giggles, before abruptly stopping at the sight of his wide blue eyes staring at her in disbelief. "my car is perfectly fine! right, mick?"
mick blinks, swallowing the forming lump of guilt in his throat. he had no idea that the girl in the parking lot was going to be his teammate eventually.
oh god, and for him to assume that she's a marketing or pr intern? how humiliating. how would he feel if someone were to think that of his sister was a mere backend worker when she is something more?
"yes," he answers by default, not really remembering what she was asking him. he immediately pushes himself up to his feet and extends a hand to her first. "i'm sorry. i don't believe i got your name in the parking lot – i didn't know you were going to be my teammate. i'm so sorry."
"oh, don't worry about it. it happens a lot." she introduces herself before quickly walking away, running over to the empty seat next to him.
mick huffs, grinning at her father before he takes a seat. but the entire time, all he can think of is how embarrassed he is for misjudging her. "you don't care that i didn't take you for a driver at first?"
she looks off blankly, pressing her lips together before shaking her head. she turns to him again. "it's not like i told you," she grins. "anyway, do you like japanese curry? that's my favourite – i'll make you some when we meet again for pre-season."
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astrophileous · 1 year
Text
A Well-Kept Secret
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader
Synopsis: While working on a case in D.C., Spencer didn't expect to hear a familiar name being mentioned as the sole surviving witness. Or, in which the team discovers Spencer's well-kept secret.
Warning(s): established secret relationship, mentions and/or depictions of death/physical violence/gun violence/injury/attack, signs of trauma, survivor's guilt, curse words, hurt/comfort, nudity but it's not sexual, allusions to sexy times, mentions/implied alcohol consumption
Word Count: 5900-ish
Author's Note: hiya! I decided to write this lil piece after seeing the fic challenge posted by @imagining-in-the-margins abt the family/found family trope. I had a lotta fun writing this one and I think it's got potential to be something more. So pls comment or message me if you wanna see me exploring with this idea (either turning it into a series of connected one-shots or multi-parters). Don't forget to like/comment/reblog and give me a follow :) I hope you enjoy! 💞
Criminal Minds Masterlist
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When Hotch had notified the team to haul their asses up and drove all the way to D.C., Spencer never expected that it would also entail him having to suffer through a mini heart attack.
The series of attacks around D.C. had been dominating the 6 PM news segments in the entire country. What was initially perceived as a suspected sequence of robberies gone wrong--since the first two targets to have been hit were a bank and a prestigious auction house--soon turned into a nationwide panic as people realized that there was a bigger game at play.
After the third attack was found to have occurred in the headquarters of one of the top, up-and-coming renewable energy startups in the states, the D.C. police finally started to entertain the idea that perhaps they hadn't been dealing with their usual petty robbers at all.
And naturally, that was when the BAU had been called in.
As soon as the team entered the Metropolitan PD bullpen, they were struck with the smell of panic and the sight of chaos.
"Agent Hotchner?" A middle-aged man in a gray shirt and blue tie appeared in front of them. "My name is Detective Mills, we spoke on the phone."
"Of course, Detective." Hotch shook the other man's hand. "This is my team. Agent Prentiss, Jareau, and Dr. Reid. I have two others already at the latest crime scene. What can you tell us so far?"
"As you can see--" Detective Mills gestured towards the frenzied scene behind him, "--the entire D.C. area is going haywire after news broke out about yesterday's attack. The public is demanding the city to be put on lockdown, and I'm getting pressure from above as well. We received information that nearly half the city has called in sick today."
"A classic response to mass paranoia," Spencer noted.
"Well, paranoia or not, I just want to start getting some answers." Detective Mills began to lead the team further into the bullpen. "I have every pair of hands I could spare in this. If they aren't out there chasing leads, they're here interviewing the victims, friends, and families."
"Any luck so far?" Emily asked.
"Nothing more than what you've probably seen in the files."
Detective Mills pushed open the door to an office in the corner, away from the havoc in the center of the station.
"Lieutenant Jeffreys retired a couple of weeks ago. The lucky bastard." Detective Mills scoffed jokingly. "It's the most decent space I can spare at the moment. Think you'll be fine in here?"
"It's more than enough, Detective. Thank you," Hotch replied.
"What about the witnesses from yesterday's attack? Have you had the chance to interview them?" JJ asked as the rest of the team started setting up.
"Some of my men are with them right now. But I doubt they'll have anything useful. Just like the other two cases, the attack happened while most of the office was out. The rest left behind were DOA at the latest scene."
"They're rapidly devolving," Spencer pondered out loud as he skimmed over the case files. "They went from killing a non-compliant security guard during the first attack to executing almost every witness in the last one."
JJ raised an eyebrow. "Almost?"
"It says here there is one survivor." Spencer showed the word he had underlined in the case overview to JJ.
"Yes, there is," Detective Mills confirmed. "I had one of my men talk to her. There's not much she could give us. Thing is, she wasn't even supposed to be there."
"What do you mean?" Emily asked.
"She didn't work in that office. She was a consultant who just happened to be visiting. Poor girl's pretty shaken up. She hid in a supply closet the entire time. She was the one who found the bodies and called 911."
"So, the perpetrators never checked the rooms while they were holding the victims hostage?" Hotch questioned.
"Not according to her statement, no. See, I thought it weird myself. Do you have any idea why?"
"Not sure." Hotch hummed, deep in thought. "Perhaps our UnSubs didn't think to check because they didn't know someone was in there. Detective, you said all of the victims were the only employees of the company who didn't attend the event downtown, correct?"
"Yeah, they were the only ones who weren't listed as attendees. Why? Do you think those people were specifically targeted?"
"Unfortunately, we can't rule out anything yet this early in the investigation," Hotch said. "We need to talk to the witnesses to know more. JJ?"
"On it." JJ nodded. "What can you tell us about yesterday's sole survivor, Detective?"
"Not much. I didn't interview her personally, one of my men did. She works at a consulting engineering firm in town," Detective Mills replied. "I believe her name is... what is it called?"
When Detective Mills mentioned the name, Spencer's heart instantly crashed inside of its cage.
"What?" His hand had stopped scribbling on the board. In a matter of miliseconds, Spencer had crossed the room towards the doorway where Detective Mills was standing. "What did you say her name was?"
Dumbfounded, the detective stared at a dread-stricken Spencer before spelling out the name once more.
"Why? What's wrong?" Detective Mills asked in confusion.
JJ touched Spencer's shoulder. "Hey, you okay?"
But Spencer, either too alarmed or merely choosing not to acknowledge both questions, asked instead, "Where is she? I need to see her."
"In the waiting room by the pantry--"
Spencer didn't even wait for Detective Mills to form his complete thought before dashing out. JJ exchanged a glance with Emily following Spencer's sudden exit, perplexed by his odd turn of behavior.
"I'll go get him," JJ announced before leaving the room, chasing after a flurry of wavy hair and a wool-knitted purple vest sprinting across the bullpen.
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The roaring commotion inside the station was almost loud enough to rival the intensity of your racing thoughts.
Almost.
At this point, you didn't think there was anything you could do anymore. The vivid images from yesterday's attack were playing continuously in your head. There was nothing you could do to stop them.
Rubbing your eyes from exhaustion, you mourned the loss of sleep that you failed to get the previous night. As if the waking nightmares weren't torment enough, the images had somehow translated even more cruelly into your subconscious. You could barely close your eyes for three seconds without feeling like you had been brought back to that place.
Cold, cramped, and alone. Fearing for your life in the tiny supply closet that smelled more like death than bleach.
At the sound of the door opening, you quickly turned around in your seat to hide your face away from prying eyes. The last thing you needed at that moment was having a complete stranger seeing you fall apart in the middle of a police station.
But when the voice came carrying the sound of your name, it wasn't the voice of a complete stranger you had heard. It was a voice you knew more than you probably knew your own. A voice you loved and a voice you had longed to hear for the past gruesome twenty-four hours.
"Spencer?" You turned back towards the door, seeing the face you adored most in the whole world staring back at you.
"Sweetheart."
At the speed of a lightning, Spencer dropped to his knees in front of you and gathered your broken little pieces into his arms.
Spencer's touch was everywhere. Your hair, your neck, your shoulders. As if he was checking whether you were real. That you were actually there inside his arms, and you were not a simple imagination that his mind had conjured up.
Surrounded by the safety of his embrace, you could feel the shattered pieces of yourself beginning to mend once more.
"Spencer," you uttered his name again as you pulled away, still in disbelief that he was physically there with you.
"I'm here," he promised you as he cupped your face gently.
"Spencer, what are you... How..."
"My team is working your case. We arrived half an hour ago," he explained simply. "Sunshine, why didn't you tell me? I thought you were still in Alaska?"
You had previously apprised Spencer that you would be hard to reach during your trip since you would be spending most of your time at the power plant site where cellphone receptions were scarce. So when an entire day went by without him ever hearing from you, Spencer didn't have any reason to be worried.
Never in a million years would he have ever predicted that you'd be caught in the middle of a hostage situation.
That thought alone caused Spencer to squeeze your hand a little tighter than usual.
"I'm sorry, Spence," you said sincerely. "My trip ended earlier than planned. I arrived back yesterday morning. I actually wanted to surprise you last night. After yesterday's... incident, I wanted to call you, but my phone was shot--"
"Wait, what? You were shot?"
"No! No, baby. Not me. Just my phone," you assured him. "But that's why I couldn't call. I did attempt you once using this station's phone, but it went straight to voicemail."
At the new piece of information, the colors immediately drained from Spencer's face.
"That was you? Fuck. I didn't--I didn't know. I rejected the call because I didn't know it was you."
"Hey." You stopped his guilty rambling with a hand to his cheek. "It's okay. I'm okay. I'm just glad you're here."
And then, because Spencer needed to make sure that you really were okay, he pulled you back into his arms and held you even tighter this time.
"Uh, Spence?"
The sound in the doorway snapped you both out of your mutual reverie. You looked up to see a blonde woman there, staring in an equal mixture of shock and confusion at the sight in front of her.
Spencer begrudgingly untangled himself from your arms before getting up to approach her.
"JJ, do you mind if I do the cognitive for this one?" Spencer asked.
The woman--JJ-- shifted her eyes a few times between you and Spencer. "Um, of course. I'll just go and inform Hotch. Tell us if you need anything."
After JJ's departure, Spencer closed the door again to award you both a much needed privacy.
He grabbed a wooden chair from the corner and dragged it before sitting down right in front of you.
"I need to start the interview now, sweetheart. Think you're up for it?"
Your whole body went rigid for a matter of seconds before you forced it to restart again. It was gone as soon as it came, but Spencer noticed it just the same.
"Look at me," Spencer ordered softly, using his delicate finger to nudge your face up until he was looking straight into your eyes. "I know it's scary. I don't want you to have to relive yesterday either, but it will help us catch whoever did this."
"I've told the police everything I knew yesterday. I was hiding the entire time." Like a coward. "I didn't see anything. I don't have anything else that could help you."
"I know that, sunshine. But as I've told you before, our method is slightly different. We won't be just focusing on what you saw, but also what you smelled, or maybe even heard." Spencer took your hands then, squeezing affectionately. "I'll be here with you the entire time."
The nod you gave him was hesitant, but it was a start nonetheless. You listened intently to Spencer's words and closed your eyes just as he had instructed.
"We'll start at the beginning," you heard him say. "Why don't you tell me why you went there yesterday?"
"I, uh, received a call from my friend, Nick, after my plane landed. We had been communicating back and forth since his company seeked my consultation for one of their upcoming projects," you began. "I wasn't even supposed to work because I had requested the day off. But Nick said it didn't have to be a formal meeting, so I agreed to meet him."
"Tell me what you remember after arriving at the office."
Your mind traveled back to that specific time one day prior. You remembered walking into the place and seeing its unusual state of vacancy even though there was still a good half an hour left before lunchtime.
"I just assumed everyone had gone to lunch earlier and shrugged it off," you recalled.
Spencer nodded his head. "Did anything else strike you as out of the ordinary?"
"No? I don't... I don't know. It was only my second time being there, I'm not sure what was normal and what wasn't."
"Okay. That's okay. You're doing good so far, sweetheart," Spencer quickly interjected, trying to get you to calm down before your distress could turn into a full-blown panic. "Now, what did you do next?"
"I followed Nick into his office."
Nick was keeping his promise true. It hadn't felt like a formal meeting, just two old college buddies reminiscing about the past and discussing possibilities of the future that, of course, included the company's upcoming project which you would be working on with him.
"I excused myself to the bathroom at some point," you added. "When I first heard the commotion, I thought nothing of it. It's like the idea that a group full of armed men had taken over the building didn't even cross my mind. I mean, why would it? I was on my way back to Nick's office when I saw them."
You recalled turning a corner after exiting the bathroom only to see those figures carrying machine guns and shouting at everyone to get on their knees or put their hands above their heads. You remembered sprinting the way you had come from and opening the first door you could reach that just happened to be the supply closet.
"Let's go back to the moment you saw them," Spencer urged gently. "How many people were there? Do you remember any conspicuous detail? Maybe one of them had tattoos or spoke with an accent. Anything that distinguished them."
Taking a deep breath, you tried replaying those crucial seconds slowly in your head.
"There were four of them. I couldn't see much. They were all wearing identical black clothes."
Suddenly, an unexpected piece of memory rushed to the front of your mind. You opened your eyes in shock, meeting Spencer's curious gaze that had been kept intently on you the entire time.
"I think at least one of them is a woman," you told him.
Spencer's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Are you sure?"
"One of the guys said something about... fucking this place up. And then she laughed. I heard her. It was definitely a female laugh."
"Good. That's good."
"Yeah? Do you think it'll help?"
Spencer nodded assuredly, bringing his hand to leave calming strokes on your head. "I know it will. You've done a great job, sweetheart. I'm proud of you."
The praise Spencer gave eased the tension in your shoulders. As if having been granted fresh air after decades of confinement, you were finally able to let yourself breathe again.
Spencer continued his loving strokes on your head. Little by little, the weight of his touch melted the resolve you had built into a pathetic puddle on the floor. Without its mental shield protecting you, your tears sped forward, gathering in your eyes until they spilled on the vast path down your cheeks.
"Hey, hey." Spencer's voice was laden with panic after seeing you start to cry. "Sunshine, what is it? What's wrong? Talk to me."
"I-I just... God." You struggled to get the words out in between sobs. "I'm a coward, Spencer."
"What?"
"All of those people... They died because I was a fucking coward."
Your admission tore into the air before stabbing Spencer right through his chest.
"Sweetheart, you know that's not true."
"But it is!" you cried out, pulling away from Spencer's grounding hold around your shaking body in favor of your own arms. "I was a coward. I ran and hid because I was too scared to die. Too scared to fight. If I had just tried a little harder, I could've called for help. That way, maybe all of those people wouldn't... And Nick wouldn't..."
A haunting image flashed behind your eyes. The image of Nick's limp and lifeless body on the floor, among those of the others. You remembered crying next to him, punching his chest, body, and arm despite having seen the gunshot wound on his forehead. It took you another five minutes before you eventually managed to gather yourself together, found a phone, and dialed 911.
Not that it made any difference. They were all already dead.
Spencer could hear his heart breaking at the sight of you curling into yourself, recoiling from his touch because you somehow believed you didn't deserve his affection at that moment. If Spencer could just transfer all of your pain towards him, he would. Seeing you beat yourself up that way over something that happened and was done to you was the worst kind of torture he ever had to endure in life.
And Spencer had been through more kinds of torture than the general population in the world.
Deciding that he had seen enough of your self-deprecating torment, he reclaimed your hands inside of his palms and urged you to look at him.
"Are you hearing yourself right now?" Spencer asked incredulously. "How can you even think that way? Sweetheart, what happened to those people, to Nick, it is not your fault."
"B-but, if I hadn't run away--"
"Then you would've died, too," he cut you off. "Sunshine, there were four of them with machine guns. No one stood a single chance against them. Those people were there to kill. There was nothing you could've done."
It was a hard pill to swallow, but Spencer needed you to hear it.
He needed you to know the truth no matter how unacceptable it was.
"If you hadn't hid from them, we would've found seven bodies there instead of six. And I--" Spencer took a shuddering breath, "--I would've lost you."
Your shoulders deflated at his revelation. "Spence--"
"So please--" he searched your eyes then, using his thumb to sweep away the remaining tears under your eyes, "--stop holding yourself accountable. I promise I will do everything I can to find those people and make them pay for what they did."
Spencer's vow triggered a new wave of tears that compelled you to sink into his awaiting arms. He let you stay there until you had cried your tears dry. It was something he also secretly needed for himself after suffering through the short-lived horror over the mention of your name in relation to the heinous case. He just needed to make sure that you were okay.
A few minutes passed by with you in his arms. Eventually, Spencer had to tear himself away to finish his job. He asked you to wait as he wrapped up the transcript of your cognitive interview, along with his professional report over it.
"I need to run somewhere real quick. I promise to be back in a couple of hours," he notified JJ as he handed her the interview report. "Tell Hotch for me? Thanks."
Without waiting for his friend's reply, Spencer rushed back to the waiting room before leading you out to take you home.
Back at your apartment, Spencer guided you towards the direction of your bathroom as soon as you had stepped into the threshold.
"Are you trying to get me naked, Spencer?" you remarked playfully after he refused to let you take your clothes off yourself.
"Yes." The gleaming mischief in your eyes caused him to flick your nose lightly. "Just to get you ready for your bath. Get your head straight, will you?"
You scoffed at his back as he turned around to check the water temperature in the tub.
Once you were submerged safely inside, Spencer left the bathroom to give you some privacy. Meanwhile, he began rummaging through your drawers to pull out a change of clothes, a towel, and a clean sheet for your bed.
By the time you exited, Spencer had changed your bedsheets and lit one of your favorite candles on the bedside table. He asked you to sit down on the bed as he kneeled before you, helping you put on the pajamas he had picked out with little prints of sunflowers on them.
None of Spencer's touches were sexual. They swept over your skin with the care of an artist handling their most precious work. When his eyes found yours, you swore you could almost cry from the intense adoration that seemed to shine so brightly out of them.
As he guided you to lie on the bed, you were surprised to see him following suit. He got under the covers with you, pulling you close to tangle every inch of your limbs with his.
"I love you, Spencer," you admitted to his chest, heart heavy with the deep appreciation and overwhelming affection for the man beside you.
Spencer looked down at your confession, finding his favorite pair of eyes already looking earnestly at him. Instinctively, he reached for your chin with his fingers, tugging your face upward until he could capture your lips with his.
The kiss was slow. Careful. Filled with silent promises and discreet reassurances. When you both parted, Spencer didn't pull himself away. Instead, he let his forehead touch yours while his eyes stayed closed.
"Will you be here when I wake up?" you asked quietly.
"Yes, sweetheart. Now go to sleep."
Although the two of you knew his answer was a lie, you both chose to pretend otherwise. You knew Spencer still had responsibilities to fulfill, along with a promise to you that he intended to keep. You knew that when you woke up later that evening, Spencer would already be long gone, and you would be forced to bask in the traces of himself that he had left behind.
But for now, Spencer was still there, in the comfort of your bedroom, lying on the bed next to you. And that knowledge alone was good enough for you to finally drift further into the land of sleep, surrounded by the warmth of Spencer's loving embrace.
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"I'm telling you," JJ insisted, looking at her entire team minus Spencer and Hotch. "There was definitely something going on between them. Why else would he request to take over the cognitive for me?"
"Maybe he was feeling generous," Rossi deadpanned, earning an unimpressed glare from JJ.
It had been a full week since the BAU team had arrived in D.C. to investigate the series of gun attacks in the city. Just the day prior, they had successfully made their fourth arrest, bringing this case to yet another satisfying conclusion in the eye of justice.
If nothing else was amiss, they should have been on their way back to Quantico in less than an hour. In the meantime, though, JJ felt obliged to gather her team members in the middle of the bullpen to share her suspicion about a certain scene she had accidentally caught on their first day working the case.
"Pretty boy did seem more emotionally involved in this case than he usually does, though," Derek pointed out.
"Right? Right?" JJ replied almost too enthusiastically. "Come on, aren't you guys at least half as curious as I am about who this mystery girl might be? Don't you wanna try finding out who she is while we're still here?"
They all stared at each other in hesitation.
"Or, we could just ask Spencer directly and let him explain?" Emily suggested, receiving incredulous looks from the other three in response. "Yeah, you're right. What did you say her name was again?"
"I don't remember," JJ answered.
"It must be listed in the files somewhere, right?" Derek immediately sprung into action, reaching towards the scattered case files that might contain the name they were looking for.
"Just to be clear, I am not taking any part in this." Rossi sighed.
"Got it!" Derek waved the offending file in hand, giving it to JJ, who instantly began skimming over it.
"Alright. Says here that her name is..."
JJ read the name aloud when unexpectedly, an answering sound sprouted from behind them.
"Yes?"
Every single one of them turned in shock at your voice. You smiled at their wide-eyed expressions, waving your hand a little awkwardly in the air.
"You!" JJ exclaimed.
"Me?"
Emily nudged JJ in the ribs, making the blonde woman wince.
"Y-you're the witness from the startup case, right?" JJ said, trying to rectify the situation.
"That's me."
"What can we do for you, Miss?" Rossi asked, stepping forward and away from the rest of the group.
"I'm actually looking for Spencer. Do you know where he might be?"
"Spencer Reid? You know Reid?" Emily asked.
Before you had the chance to reply, the man in question came strolling into the bullpen, rambling animatedly to Hotch who was walking beside him. The moment Spencer caught sight of you, though, he immediately abandoned Hotch's side and rushed towards where you were standing.
"Hey, what are you doing here?"
"Looking for you, of course," you told him, fitting yourself easily into Spencer's side as his arm went around your waist. "Hi, Hotch."
The older man called your name in greeting. "I got your message. You wanted to talk to me?"
"I wanted to ask you--well, all of you, actually--" you glanced around at the other team members, "--if maybe you all would let me treat you to lunch? As a thank you for your hard work on the case."
Hotch nodded in response. "It's fine with me. We don't have to be back until tonight, anyway. Everyone?"
Instead of replying to your offer, Emily voiced aloud the question that was circling everyone's mind.
"You know her?" Emily looked at Hotch before dragging her eyes away towards you. "And you know him? You know each other? How?"
You gazed up at Spencer's eyes, seeing them shining with the same mirth as the one you felt dancing in your stomach.
"I guess this is supposed to be the part where I introduce myself, isn't it?" You chuckled.
Extending your palm, you shook each of their hands while telling them your name, them responding back with theirs even though you already knew who was who long before you had even met them.
"I still don't understand," JJ admitted after you finished shaking her hand. "How did you know Spencer and Hotch?"
Once again, you looked into Spencer's eyes, a question bouncing around in yours. Spencer's nod of affirmation was the only go-ahead you needed.
It's time.
"I'm Spencer's girlfriend."
"She's my wife."
You turned your head towards Spencer in shock.
In front of you, Spencer's teammates were causing an uproar.
"Wait, what?" Emily stared dumbfoundedly.
"You have a girlfriend?" Derek asked in disbelief.
"You're married?!" JJ shrieked.
"Hold on a second," Rossi interjected, holding his palms out as if to tell everyone to stand down and calm themselves. "So which one is it? Girlfriend or wife?"
And that was how you found yourself sitting in the private VIP room of your favorite restaurant in the city with some of Spencer's closest people on earth.
"That's the craziest story I've ever heard," Emily pondered in astonishment.
Rossi, Derek, and JJ were all wearing an identical look on each of their faces after hearing the story of how you and Spencer met: by drunkenly getting married in Vegas after only knowing each other for barely one night when you both weren't even twenty-two yet.
"If someone were to tell me yesterday that there's another member of this team who also went to get married while drunk in Vegas, I would have never even thought of mentioning Spencer's name," JJ mused.
At your curious expression, Spencer explained, "Rossi also got drunkenly married in Vegas to his third ex-wife,"
"Why didn't you two get a divorce?" Emily suddenly asked.
It was something that everyone who knew about your situation with Spencer had questioned at one point or another. The real answer was because you and Spencer had both been reluctant to go through the nasty and lengthy legal process of getting a divorce. Therefore, you decided to part ways without doing anything about it, vowing to only track each other down if one of you ever needed to end the bond because of another impending marriage or any other urgent matter.
But that reason alone was usually not enough to appease people's curiosity. And over the years, you and Spencer had poked fun over that particular fact by coming up with the most outrageous lie you could muster up.
"She wanted to get a divorce," Spencer fabricated smoothly. "I persuaded her otherwise because I had this inkling that someday we were gonna fall in love."
Usually, any other people would coo sweetly at Spencer's statememt.
But these weren't any other people. These people were Spencer's family in more ways except flesh and blood, and even without their profiling skills, you knew they could see right through Spencer's little deception.
"That sounds like bullshit to me. Doesn't that sound like bullshit to you?" Emily asked, turning to JJ for support.
"Yeah, that was bullshit, alright," JJ claimed vehemently, prompting an innocent-looking grin from Spencer and a series of chuckles from everyone else.
"When did you two start dating, then?" Rossi spoke up from one end of the table.
"About two years after Vegas, right?" you estimated, to which Spencer nodded in confirmation. "He strolled into my place of work while he was on a case, and then he asked me out."
Derek sat up on his seat after hearing the new information. "Wait, when was this? Why didn't I know about this?"
"The beginning of my second year in the BAU," Spencer offered. "Elle knew."
"Elle? Elle Greenway? You told Elle but not me?" Derek looked offended.
Spender shrugged nonchalantly. "Elle was assigned with me that day."
"Unbelievable." Derek slumped back down in his chair. "Penelope is gonna freak when she finds out what she missed today."
"Penelope? Oh, she already knows," you told him.
That revelation earned a collective disbelief look across the entire table.
"Yeah... I, uh," you cleared your throat, "I actually just went shopping with her two weeks ago."
"You've got to be kidding me," Emily muttered.
"You told Penelope but not me?" Derek sounded hurt as he pointed his accusatory stare at Spencer. "You even told Hotch!"
"I didn't tell Garcia. She dug through my history and found it out herself. Had to bribe her with candies and chocolates for a whole month to keep her quiet," Spencer grumbled. "And I had to tell Hotch. We needed to add her number to my emergency contact list."
Despite Spencer's concise explanation, Derek still seemed unsatisfied by the whole ordeal.
"How long have you known?" he finally decided to ask Hotch.
"A while," the man answered from his seat at the opposite end of the table from Rossi. "They even babysat Jack a few times for me."
"I don't believe this," Derek scowled. "Pretty boy's got himself a girl for the last six years, and I never knew? Outrageous."
"Technically, we've been married even longer than that," Spencer responded, as if he was unaware of the imminent glower that Derek was sending his way. "Eight years since Vegas."
"That's longer than any of my marriage," Rossi remarked before sipping his drink.
The laugh that resonated upon Rossi's little comment elicited an affectionate smile on your lips.
"So, you live in D.C., then?" JJ asked, at last stirring the conversation away from the topic of your and Spencer's secret marriage-slash-relationship.
"I do, yeah. But most of the time, I live out of my suitcase," you answered. "My firm has clients all over the country. A few overseas, as well. I'm lucky if I even get to have an entire week to sleep uninterrupted in my own bed."
Even then, you truthfully quite enjoyed the work you had to do. You didn't mind having to travel some place new every other week. In fact, you somehow believed that your constant need to travel for your job, and Spencer for his, was one of the reasons why the two of you worked so well together.
Although people might think that two adults who had to travel for a living were a recipe for a disastrous relationship, you and Spencer had so far proven otherwise. Because of your respective schedules, you could sympathize more with the other anytime they had to go somewhere urgent for work. It only made you savor every single second you spent together because of how much precious each one of them became.
The rest of lunch unraveled with the same bucket of smiles, jokes, and laughter. It felt good to finally tell the few people who meant the world in Spencer's life the truth about your relationship. It was also a huge relief to see them opening their arms and welcoming you into the family without an ounce of hesitation.
"Hotch?" Spencer called out after everyone exited the restaurant. "Will it be okay if I stay in the city for one more night?"
"As long as you promise to be back for tomorrow's briefing," Hotch reminded sternly, but the meaningful look he passed over you before he entered his vehicle spoke of a thousand things left unsaid.
"It was so nice meeting you," JJ said as she took you in her arms. "And I'm sorry again about your friend."
"Thank you. And thanks for all of your hard work in catching those guys."
"Of course, it's what we do." JJ smiled as she pulled away. "Invite me and Emily the next time you and Penelope hang out, okay?"
"Will do," you promised.
You watched as every single one of them scrambled into the two black SUVs, waving your goodbye until the cars drove out of your sight.
"I think that went well," you commented before looking up at Spencer. "Do you?"
"I think it went as well as it could."
"So--" you began, circling your arms around Spencer's neck, "--we have more than twelve hours until you're expected back at Quantico. What do you wanna do?"
Spencer nudged your nose with his. "I can think of a few activities we can partake in."
"Really?"
"Really."
Just as he was a hairbreadth away from pressing his lips to yours, you suddenly tore yourself out of Spencer's arms.
"Like getting some frozen yogurts?" you asked giddily, smirking at the dumbfounded look that you managed to put on Spencer's face.
"Fine. Let's go get some frozen yogurts."
Spencer had to hide his amused grin at your elated squeals. He was more than content at that moment to let you produce those addictive sounds at the mere prospect of frozen yogurts.
But later that night, he had a whole different set of activities lined up to pull those same sounds out of you once more.
And it might or might not potentially involve an entirely different yet creative use of frozen yogurts as well.
Spencer simply just hadn't decided yet.
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weird-is-life · 1 month
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Can I request a shy reader and Spencer's fic. When the reader works at a flower shop, Spencer comes in there looking for flowers. And the reader goes on a little rant about what he should buy and what each flower means.
Hii lovely, ty for the request! Hope this is okay🙈warnings: use of y/n, fluff, a few swear words, (0.9k)
Spencer needs to buy some flowers for Emily. It's her birthday and he's always brought her flower before, so even if he's already running late to her birthday dinner, he can't not go buy her some flowers.
He goes into the first flower shop, he spots on the way to Emily's apartment and that's where he finds you.
It's almost the closing time, so you are just sitting behind the counter, reading some book. Spencer immediately thinks he's in love.
He swears, you are the prettiest girl, he's ever seen and the fact, that you are too absorbed in your book to even notice him, makes you even more attractive to Spencer.
You finally notice him as he's a few steps away from the counter. You quickly slam the book shut and try not to look too caught off guard.
You weren't expecting anybody to come to the shop anymore and you definitely weren't expecting it to be a very handsome guy.
His messy, curly hair, expensive-looking black suit and the small stubble have you buckling at your knees. You are sure, that if you weren't sitting on the chair, you would be on the ground.
"H-hi," you somewhat compose yourself, "w-what can I help you with?"
He shoots you a smile and you're pretty sure that your cheeks go very red," Hi, I was wondering if I could get some flowers?"
"D-do you have any specific in mind?" you ask, barely holding an eye contact with him. You are shy and he isn't helping your situation at all.
"Ye-...No, I don't. Can you recommend me some?" Spencer literally knows the meaning of every flower you have in this shop, but something about you makes him shut his mouth, so he can stay here longer.
"I can, yes," you smile sheepishly at him, "who are they supposed to be for?"
"My friend, it's her birthday today," you would be lying, if you said that your heart didn't skip a beat at hearing that it's for his friend and not a girlfriend. You thought, that he was getting flowers for his girlfriend.
"W-well, I'd suggest, that you should definitely get some yellow flowers for her. Yellow color represents friendship, would that be okay?" you hesitantly ask. Spencer just nods encouragingly.
"Okay, so we could do some mixed bouquet. Yellow roses are definitely a yes, you can't go wrong with that, they are beautiful and smell amazing. We should also add sunflowers, they represent loyalty and adoration of the friendship. Oh and mums are grest, too. They can really make the bouquet come alive, they are like the spirit of optimism. We could also-," you ramble about each flower, that you put in the bouquet for him.
Spencer listens to your every word with a happy smile, you remind him of himself with your rambling and to be honest, he finds it adorable.
You are done too quickly tho and Spencer finds himself wanting to hear you speak again.
But his phone rings and he doesn't even need to pick up to know, that the team is wondering, where he is.
"Here, i-is this okay?" you hand the insanely pretty bouquet to him. Spencer's grin basically answers your question.
"Thank you, thank you. It couldn't be more perfect. You're a total lifesaver..." he looks at your name tag, "y/n. Thank you, y/n."
You are certain, that your cheeks couldn't be more red as they are right now. Spencer's compliment makes you blush like a fool.
"Oh. I'm..I'm glad, that you like it." You stutter out your response, looking at the ground. You carefully wrap the bouquet in the flower wrapping paper and tell him the price of it.
He pays it and before you can say no, he puts a bigger tip than it's normal into the tip jar.
Spencer then slowly leaves thanking you as he goes. And right before the door closes, it looks like Spencer wants to tell you something else, but in the last second he shakes his head and dissappears.
You wave him a shy goodbye, you are a little disappointed even if you don't really know why. Well okay, maybe you do know why. But you shouldn't have put your hopes up, thinking the handsome stranger felt the spark like you did. And that maybe, only maybe, he'd ask you out.
You sigh and sluggishly start to clean up the counter to finally close the shop and go home. The door bell rings again and your head immediately shoots up.
He runs up to the counter, a little out of breath, "shit, I'm sorry to bother you again. I don't usually do this, like ever, it's just....Would you like to go out with me sometimes? Like for a-a coffee? You can say no of course, hell, I'd totally understand if you said no." Spencer's now the one to rumble.
"I-I'd love to," you, surprising even yourself, reply immediately. Cheeks, of course, burning red.
"It's okay- Wait, really?" Spencer was totally expecting you to reject him.
"Yes, really....." you want to say his name.
"Spencer, my name is Spencer," he quickly understands.
"Spencer, " you try out his name," I'd love to Spencer, here." You bravely scramble your phone number on a piece of paper and give it to him.
Spencer takes it with a huge smile, "I'll call you, " he looks like he wants to stay longer, but looks at his watch and curses under his breath," I'm so late. I gotta go, but I'll call you, I promise."
"Bye, Spencer," you say sweetly and Spencer already knows he's fucked. Not even one date and he knows, he's down bad.
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peachsayshi · 3 months
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✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄ being wrapped in your arms feels like coming home ⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧
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minors / ageless blogs / blank blogs - do not interact.
notes: here is a little drabble in honor of toji's birthday! this piece was originally titled as "adoration" but I changed it to this instead. I'm taking a small posting break, but I'll be back to my regular schedule within a week! I'm sorry if I haven't been responding to tags or messages, but I will do so soon <3 I hope you're all having a wonderful time and I'm sending all my well wishes out to you! xo
ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ tags: widow toji; age gap (reader is 30 while toji is in his early 40s); a little angsty; toji attempting to break up with you but failing because he's oh so in love
toji overstayed his welcome which was only supposed to last the scorching heat of summer, but he found himself lingering through the quiet stillness of fall. winter came in with a brisk chill and gloomy skies, and that's when toji knew it was time for him to end things with you.
he’s lost interest far quicker in previous relationships. they served their purpose of healing over the wound in his heart, of soothing away the ache of loneliness. he oftens forgets that he was once a loyal, loving husband whenever he abandons yet another fling.
the difference, however, is he at least had the guts to verbally cut things off before.
fucking pathetic, he thinks as he scolds himself. he's been a coward, reducing his actions to disappearing before the sunlight peeks through the horizon, and avoiding any chance of waking you up. he ensures that he is never there to see the way your brows furrow with concern when your hand meets the cold pillow, because otherwise he would falter in his attempt to escape.
this has been going on for over two weeks now but last night was the first time you've actually snapped at his cold, detached behavior. he approached the argument with nonchalance to wither you down, shrugging off the gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach and then walking out halfway through the fight.
he stayed at a motel thinking that maybe you have finally taken the hint that he's done.
he arrives back to his apartment only to be met with unfamiliar silence. the entrance of his home is dark and lifeless, and it's so quiet he can even hear a pin drop. there's a tightness in his chest, followed by a wave of disappointment that runs over him like a feverish shiver.
despite his hard headed decision, he's still anticipating on hearing your lovely voice to greet him as he walks through the door.
he knows it's selfish.
toji expected many things to happen after last night's fight. he figured the reaction to him leaving you (again) would be far bigger. a screaming phone call or a string of cursing text messages to call him out on his shitty behavior.
after all he deserves it for acting like an insufferable asshole.
he tries to swallow his guilt but it remains lodged in his throat when he acknowledges that this might actually be the end. 
the expression on his features falls.
it’s better this way, he consoles, dragging his feet across the floor to approach his kitchenette. he shrugs off his beaten up, oversized coat and tosses it over one of the chairs. he opens one of the cupboards, and grabs a mug to prepare himself a cup of tea.
she’s too young to settle for a guy like me, he continues. widowed with two kids who he barely sees anymore, working paycheck to paycheck just to make ends meet…
a deadbeat.
he exhales, swirling his brew in his ceramic cup. the aroma of sweet leaves dances up the spiral of steam to kiss his nose.
she deserves more than me.
he places the kettle down but stares at the cup mindlessly, losing all train of thought as his hands grip onto the edge of the counter. 
he can acknowledge that his insecurities are clouding his judgement on something truly special, even though this was only ever meant to be purely physical.
except, the sex was growing more intimate. the experience wasn't about pleasure for him anymore. he would find himself losing all focus to the depth of your pretty eyes, stealing kiss after kiss like your mouth was the source of where all his happiness belongs.
belonged.
belonged.
it’s over now, he thinks again. it has to be.
a faint patter of footsteps distracts him, prompting him to ease his hold on the counter as the muscles on his face relax. his heart steadies itself, and he draws in a breath when he feels two arms delicately twine around his waist.
“you’re...still here...” he points out in shock. 
he feels you press your forehead into his back. “of course, where else would I be?” 
he clears his throat to release the guilt then spins on his heel to face you.
"I thought you might have taken off," he bluntly states as he rests his lower back against the counter.
his heart swells, emanates flurries of golden sparks when he meets your gorgeous irises. the will to carry on with his decision crumbles when he catches the corner of your mouth tick into a slight grin.
"I thought about it," you reply casually, loosening your grip to place your palms flat on the side of his stomach. "but the truth is I'm worried about you and I just…want to talk things out…make sure you're okay...”
“I’m the one acting like a jerk and you’re worried about me?” he blurts.
you quirk your brow at the slip of his question. “so, you know you’re acting like a jerk?”
toji’s eyes widen slightly, a hint of pink tainting his cheek. “I asked the question first.”
you purse your lips playfully, aware of the crack that's been revealed and ready to swing once again with another blow.
“it’s because you’re acting like a jerk that I’m worried about you,” you explain, “you’re not yourself when you’re unsettled about something…”
his face warms, the hue of pink deepening into a stronger blush. the familiarity of pointing out his personal traits feels all too homely. seven months shouldn’t feel like a forever but in this bubble with you time ceases to exist.
you trail the pads of your finger tips up his torso, your hands clasping around the back of his neck as you press all your soft and sweet parts right up against the frame of his body.
the brush of your lips on his scar prompts him to flutter his eyes close. he fails to stop himself from holding you then, his firm hands reaching for the outline of your waist
“so,” you murmur with a tempting kiss as you return to your question, “you know you’re acting like a jerk then?”
please don’t make me say it, he thinks, please don’t make me unravel right in front of your eyes.
he squeezes your side, whispering a defeated “listen…”
“did I do something wrong?” you question, a hint of pain laced through every vowel which only makes his heart ache further. “did something happen?”
toji shakes his head.
“it’s not you,” he grumbles. “look, you asked me a couple of weeks ago if this thing between us was serious and…it shouldn’t be.”
you narrow your gaze, tilting your head with adorable confusion that makes toji want to kiss you right there on the spot.
he can feel you pluck at the fabric of his sweater nervously, “why not?”
toji drops his head and sighs.
“c’mon, doll, let’s be real. I’ve got nothing to give you other than a good fuck in this shitty apartment. you're better off finding someone else and I don't want to waste your time”
you press your mouth into a firm line. “your behavior…” you reply, nipping your bottom lip slightly as you gather your thoughts. “are you acting like this because you…want to end things with me?”
toji has never felt smaller. you’ve reduced him into a shriveled pea rolling around his scuffed up boot. “look, it’s better this way, alright?” he admits with a raise of his head, still refusing to outwardly say what you easily deduced. “it's better to move on before things get too complicated…”
the silence hangs heavy in the air, the tension so thick toji feels like he can’t breathe properly. his heart rattles with no restraint, and he finds himself suddenly lightheaded. an apology rests on the tip of his tongue, ready to take back everything he just bombarded you with but his throat simply tightens once more when your hands cradle his strong jaw.
“I like your apartment,” you quietly speak, “your bed sheets always smell so good, and you fixed the water pressure after I complained that it sucked…”
toji blinks back his surprise.
“I also notice that you burn the candle that I got you and that you switched laundry detergents when your old one gave me that weird rash,” you giggle and toji couldn’t help but huff out an embarrassed laugh himself. “the windows let in the best kind of sunlight, and it’s always so cozy in here…”
you press your lips against his mouth to leave a chaste kiss, “as for the company…” you add on, nuzzling the tip of your nose over his, “I consider you more than just a good fuck.”
toji can physically feel himself wilting underneath the heat of your gaze. “I’m just looking out for you, doll.”
"you can look out for me by making me breakfast instead of running away from me..."
he looks serious but his eyes are sincere, holding a level of tenderness that he only reserves for you. his palm moves to seek out your lower back, a hint of pressure pulling you back into his warmth.
your lover has stayed tight lipped about his past, but over his period with you he's found himself spilling out a few secrets here and there.
"I haven't done this in a long time," he vulnerably admits.
"I know," you reassure him, "but...the real question is, do you want this?"
he parts his lips ready to seal the last nail in the coffin, ready to give you the chance to walk out of his life for good. but you're gazing up at him from underneath your eyelashes, your determined stare an opening of your own mercy. your plush, supple lips summoning his cowardice into oblivion.
"toji?"
his breath hitches, his apprehension silenced by the urgency of his desire.
you're so lovely, he thinks. you feel like home.
"I want you," he reveals, his deep voice smoky and untethered, releasing enough sentiment in those three words that he can feel you tremble in his arms. "I just don't deserve you. I don't want you getting caught up in my bullshit..."
""you're a lot sweeter than you look, you know?" you run your fingers through the streaks of his black hair, combing it back to reveal his forehead. "you deserve to be happy, toji, and...and I think I can make you happy..."
your aura beams with delight when he flashes you a wolfish grin in return. a smile you've grown to adore so deeply. his apology comes in the form of a kiss, one that's gentle and slow. a stroke of fire burns up the back of your neck, making you quiver in places when he glides his tongue across yours. you hum softly into his lips while he releases a content sigh, the barrier he's been keeping up turns to ashes beneath your feet.
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mandowifey · 10 months
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What kind of father figure behaviours would Miguel have?? I’m thinking protective af
Oh boy oh boy oh boy BUCKLE UP.
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Father!Miguel O'Hara Headcannons
Warnings: ANGST, SO MUCH ANGST, Mentions of child loss, death, violence, this is canon Miguel, reader can give birth but is not gendered. Mentions of trauma, depression, bad brain times. He's a broken man, yknow?
× × ×
First and foremost, Miguel is scared.
This is a man who had lost it all twice. He had watched his child die. He had lapsed so terribly into himself that he was able to rationalize stepping into another man's life and pretending to be him. He isn't right minded, he's broken and hurting.
All that self blame and doubt chokes him sometimes.
He hurts, constantly.
When you tell him you're pregnant, everything goes still. Fatherhood is something that had always been just outside of his grasp, and now it was here right in front of him. He doesn't fill with light, or smile and laugh, but he does look at you like he's seeing a ghost. There is fear in his eyes, not of you or the baby, but himself.
Because what if he fucks this up again?
Miguel can not stand the idea of opening himself to that pain. He already shoulders that guilt every day, rewatching videos of himself with his daughter. Can he even find room in his heart for another child? He almost feels like it is a betrayal, that he was never a good man to begin with if he were so willing to move on.
When your face drops and your eyes brim with tears, he pulls out of it.
One of Miguel's best abilities is being strong for others. He can be what you need right now, and he will.
Cue the absolute nightmare of expecting his child.
Aside from you being sick, Miguel worries, constantly.
The man can hardly focus on his work. He always asks one of the doctors to go check on you or have you in contact with him. Just because you're pregnant doesn't mean the multiverse loses its importance. But god is he distracted.
"Have you been eating enough?"
"Taking your vitamins?"
"How much water have you had?"
It'd be cute if you didn't know better.
You know how much he has lost and you know that he is petrified of losing you both too. Not to mention you are certain he feels undeserving of another chance, especially after destroying an innocent alternate universe.
The way he looks at you tells you everything; he thinks you are made of glass. Something fragile that could break any moment. While you try to assure him that isn't the case, he still worries.
Once you start showing, it's over.
He is constantly caressing your stomach, holding you close, breathing you in. He thinks you smell so good pregnant. Miguel loves to feel your belly, cooing to you about how good you look carrying his child. You don't doubt for a second he loves you.
Miguel is protective, most assuredly. When you want to go walking around the base or go grab snacks he is on you like a shadow. Always watching, always protecting. He makes sure the other spider folk don't bump you, and offers to carry you when you mention your feet swelling.
God, he'd love to feed you. Checking on you constantly if you're hungry, offering to run and grab any cravings you ask for.
When you get further along, he likes to talk to the baby. Speaking in Spanish occasionally but mostly asking if they are giving you trouble.
"They are gonna have my attitude, I know it."
Oh boy, when the baby comes?
Ohhhh boy.
First off it is a way bigger deal than it has to be.
That man would be in the middle of a job and get a ring on his watch.
"JESS, I GOTTA GO."
And she looks at him in time to watch him clawing back into a portal.
Him running full speed, throwing himself against walls and scratching down them to get to your room faster.
His mask withdrawing to show messy hair and wide brown eyes, coming to your side and taking your hand.
"I'm here, Im here." As he kisses into your damp hair.
You get to surprise him, twice.
He didn't know the sex, and didn't know you were having two.
When he see's his daughters for the first time, his eyes leak. The smile on his face stretches miles, his arms open as he cradles them into him. Oh he'd be melting.
You'd never seen him cry, but that day he does.
He's so proud of you, telling you how well you did and how much he loves you.
"Okay Miguel, gotta let me hold one." You laugh.
He's inseparable from you. Looking at those babies with such love and surprise, unable to believe that he was a father, again.
When you fall asleep with the girls tucked in your arms, he stays up and pets your hair.
And he promises himself that this time it will be different.
Your babies would be HELLA protected.
Good god, he is like a hawk with those girls.
Always watching, always making sure they were safe. He'd have eyes on them constantly.
Miguel is a good man at heart, and now he wants to make things right. He'd dedicate as much time to your family as possible, asking Jessica to stand in for him as often as possible (until she herself has her child).
He'd want to teach them to be like him. One of your daughters can stick to walls, and the other has tiny claws like he does. You enjoy lounging on the couch while he climbs the walls with the girls giggling after him.
Your family is beautiful, blissful. He protects all three of you.
And while sometimes you have to hold him at night and assure him that its okay to move on, he knows he's doing his best. He wraps you in his arms and looks at the baby monitor screen, watching the girls sleep. He begins to doze as you pet his hair, assuring him they were just fine.
Miguel would fall asleep against you, head tucked in your neck and strong arms locked around you.
And he would believe it was okay to forgive himself.
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soapoet · 10 months
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what's next in love...? [ singles ]
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detailed af.
like & rb if it resonates ♡
01.
it seems like you've been living life half awake, daydreaming of many scenarios you'd wish come true. even in established relationships you may find yourself wishing for more of something. you may have been told your ideals are naive, to lay off the romcoms and fics and be a little more realistic. you may have found yourself excited at every prospect of new love, giddy and involved, endlessly curious and a true lover of the rose coloured glasses. and perhaps you've found plenty of reasons to rejoice, but somehow things eventually trickle down and get into the mundane and the routines. and it frustrates you. so much. is there really no one out there whose loving gestures and kind words don't become clockwork, expected chores and scripted events?
there is. and this one feels a little 'too good to be true'. you yourself may sooner rather than later find yourself pinching your arm to check if you're actually awake. i suggest you try to hold back on the told-you-so's to the naysayers, as some of them have your best interest at heart. and not only that, but will provide a lot of guidance and support in terms of navigating this next chapter in love. it'll be a bit of a whirlwind and a maze, but with much promise at the end as a reward.
if you've been sitting on some sort of project, waiting to launch yourself into a new endeavour, you should get back on track. especially if you've been procrastinating. somewhere down that path, there's a person you ought to meet. they relate to your goals somehow, perhaps having done the same themselves before. they have a lot to teach you and will become a priceless source of support, but don't expect things to be handed to you. your work is your own and your rewards will be bigger and better if you can in the future look back and say, damn, look at what i did, i achieved all that! that's of course not to say you can't find help from those around you. definitely ask for assistance and support when you need it. but to come out on the other side and say you made it, ideally you paved your own way for plenty of it because you deserve the final applause and praise so much. believe in yourself and don't let the little voice in the back of your head make you doubt yourself and your ideas.
this person seems like a bit of a flirt. not in a way that should raise any concerns, as they are a very loyal person. they actually make it known loud and clear if they're already spoken for, and enjoy flaunting their partner in many ways. this is a person who will bring up your achievements and strengths at a social gathering, not to flex having you at their arm, but to genuinely shine a spotlight on you. especially if it'll get you flustered. they have a very playful energy to them that's endearing and youthful regardless of their actual age. a little bit of a peter pan vibe where they'll retain their young spirit well into their retirement. they're very easy-going and likeable, and have a lot of friends, and may connect you to a ton of new people. expect your social life to explode as a result of this connection, but at the same time be sure to make time for the friends and supporters that you have right now.
this person is used to being the centre of attention, not just socially, but professionally too. they may have a very visible job or hobbies that connect them to an audience of some kind within their chosen field. their energy is very contagious and fun, though that doesn't mean they're entirely air-headed and incapable of taking things seriously. i'm strongly getting that either they or someone close to them has struggled with a physical or mental illness for a good part of their life, so they have developed almost like an antenna to pick up on things going on that aren't being said out loud. especially if you're someone who frequently avoids bringing up your problems as to not burden others, or have a difficult time reaching out for support and being honest about how things affect you, you can rest assured that this person will quickly try to learn how to read you, or even outright ask how they can best assist you when you're struggling or even request some sort of secret code that you can use to communicate your unease so that they can quickly come to your aid.
they have a little bit of a problem taking their own concerns seriously. they seem to cope through distractions mostly. a positive in this is that they don't let things that are out of their control bother them and they do the best they can with what they got at any given time. a true optimist, but a negative aspect is that they may avoid facing their demons and try to outrun their problems. this can manifest itself with workaholic tendencies and a packed schedule in general. there might be some sort of saviour complex involved, too, in which they feel compelled to help everyone else and neglect their own needs. towards you in particular i'm getting a lot of pda and quality time. you slow them down a bit and help them stop to smell the roses. they'll be surprised by how much they've longed for peace and simplicity, and they find that solace and ease with you and it really heals them on a deep level, which in turn amps up the energy and effort they show you. goodbye routine lovers, honestly. this one walks the talk and really keeps up the pace long after the honeymoon phase.
some additional details: i'm not getting a lot in terms of appearance, which may suggest that you already know them, or at least know of them, even if they don't know of you yet. it's possible that you share mutual friends or interests or work within the same field. there is a big emphasis on their voice, and things may start off as long-distance with hours upon hours on the phone. astrological things that appear significant: leo, pisces, the sun, mercury, 11th house, 2nd house.
02.
you've been flying solo for a while now. perhaps you grew tired of, or dare i say even gave up on love? it may have seemed like there just aren't as many fish in the sea as promised. at least none that you could take seriously. and serious is what you want. and serious is what you're getting.
first and foremost i must say your standards aren't too high. do not feel ashamed of what you want, and don't let anyone tell you that you need to set realistic expectations. they're exactly where they need to be and you're attracting the quality you seek. you've ventured further out to sea to find yourself a bigger catch. the journey hasn't been easy, but it has helped you grow tremendously. i'm strongly getting that your past experiences have really helped you fine tune your build-a-bae, so to speak, and there's no more reconfiguring to do. you know what you want and what you don't want, how much of this and how much of that. the next lessons for you to learn in love are ones you will not tackle on your own, but alongside a long-term partner who is at your level. long gone are the days of disappointments and putting up with feeling like you're outgrowing your partner, because this next person is mature and ready to grow with you.
this person is what fairytales would call your true love. in as many ways as you are one and the same, you differ, sometimes wildly so. if you're an introvert, they're an extrovert. if you seek comfort, they seek adventure. it's your goals and dreams and values that hold hands in agreement, and that builds up a strong foundation for your connection. if you have a lot of feminine energy, they have a lot of masculine energy. you two may even look like opposites in some ways, or come from different cultures. and do not fret, because your differences will be a blessing, not a curse. this isn't a re-run of a love where you felt like you weren't seen or heard and were made to bend. there is a distinct element of give and take here. a beautiful balance wherein they enjoy your world and your ways, and don't force you to change any of it, and you feel compelled out of genuine desire to take their hand and let them show and share their world with you. and you're able to coexist perfectly fine in a way that makes you both feel fulfilled and at ease.
things may stall a little at first, because this person will have a bit of whiplash when the two of you meet. they may feel as if you stepped right out of their dreams in a way. like a ghost from their childhood when they were around their parents or grandparents and thought of the person they'd grow old with some day. and suddenly you're there, a distant memory made flesh, a memory forgotten long ago making a big splash as it resurfaces. but once they gather themselves i see that they'll be very direct in their pursuit of you. and it's quite the old school courting, too. they make their intentions clear and have the follow-through to walk their talk. this is a very open and honest person, although they appear a bit emotionally disconnected at times. it's not due to a lack of emotional sensitivity, but processing things before acting or speaking is a part of their character. they're very serious in love, and don't seem to fit into the modern age of tinder and hookups.
they may have a strong connection to the sea, live by the ocean, look mediterranean, or enjoy activities related to water. their features in general leans darker. be it their eyes, hair, skin, or the way they dress. there is something specifically drawing me to their hands. perhaps they work with their hands, are a very crafty person, or have a physically demanding job. or simply have very attractive hands that you would take note of. physical touch is important to them, and they are very protective of their loved ones.
speaking of loved ones, they have strong familial ties and may come from a big family. i'm also strongly getting that they come from money, though without the nepotism often associated with it. their father in particular may have made it a point to raise them with a lot of discipline and drive to make something of themselves and not just rely on a trustfund. this person is ambitious and a hard worker, and prefers to be involved and hands-on with what they do. i'm also seeing siblings playing a big role in your connection. one in particular could connect with you in a meaningful way. this family is one that will welcome you with open arms and you will feel as though you have gained another family to call your own. if you have any childhood wounds related to family, this one takes found family quite literally.
some additional details: travelling and holidays figure strongly. things get taken to the next level rather quickly because there is a lack of doubt involved. they're very generous with their time and money. this has massive signs of marriage. astrological things that appear significant: aries, taurus, saturn, the moon, the 4th house, the 9th house.
03.
it seems like you're stuck on something, or someone. and that situation didn't treat you fairly. this feels less like betrayal and more like you spent some time hauling dead weight around. in vain, i might add. either you already have or will soon drop it and move on. it might be difficult, though, and i apologise if i'm overstepping here, but in part it's due to an inability to truly let go on your part. if you want to get even, or show someone what they lost, do it by moving on with grace and making decisions for yourself and your own growth and success. beware of people around you who would gladly take advantage of your vulnerability right now. even if it feels like a rebound would benefit you, it'll only hurt you if you find yourself looking over the shoulder of another person to see if the one who hurt you sees and is affected by it. what will truly help you heal is to dust yourself off and focus on feeling whole within yourself. and don't worry, you didn't stumble into yet another love reading that will tell you, well, tough luck, no love for you, work on yourself! whilst i certainly will call you to take care of yourself and pursue things that serve you and your growth, i will also go over what's coming next.
and that's something a little eerie. you may have someone in your past, who you consciously or subconsciously measure everyone else up to. perhaps this was the one that got away, or someone you met at the wrong time. in one way or another, there is a situation you wish had happened differently. in your pursuit of finding yourself again and some solid ground to stand on after enduring stormy seas, you may run into someone who is eerily similar to someone you once knew. but at the right time, now. for some of you this may very well be the exact person you already have history with, or could've had history with, though with major improvements from the previous season. but for many this is just an oddly familiar stranger who gives you a bit of deja vu. they share many similarities with someone you've been attracted to, just less red flags and complications.
this person seems rather cerebral. their job, studies, or hobbies may revolve around psychology, literature, or science. they're very good with their words, both written and spoken. they can also be quite blunt, but not with malicious intent. they aren't afraid of speaking their mind, and may be quite passionate about their opinions. they're a great teacher, and a good student, too. they enjoy delving deeply into things and soak up new information like a sponge. they'll greatly value your opinion and perspective, and the two of you may engage in debates or discussions about a variety of topics. intellectually speaking you're on the same wavelength and seem to understand each other intuitively.
it's very possible that this starts off platonic. whilst you may be ready to jump into a relationship with them from the start, they prefer to take things slowly and really get to know you first. you may worry that the spark between you will fade over time, but this one is a lesson of patience and building a strong connection as a foundation first. especially if in the past you've been quick to hurt or get hurt, you're about to learn how differently a lover will treat you when you're first and foremost a dear friend. this connection has the potential of some serious power couple themes in the long run. the two of you feel almost dangerous as duo, but i think that just goes to show that the initial spark won't fade and actually benefit from a bit of a slow burn before the fire starts raging at full force.
there is a lot of chemistry between the two of you. a very push-and-pull, engaging, and intoxicating energy. you'll keep each other on your toes in a way that keeps things feeling fresh and exciting. you're partners in crime and the world appears to be your playground. any past heartbreaks and feelings of lack, even lackluster, is gone and replaced with adventure and passion. you're very attracted to them, and they to you, in a way that could be classified as an addiction if it weren't for the fact that the side effects are predominantly positive. the two of you may collaborate on some kind of project, and your joint efforts are sure to be a success. though you do many things together, you also support each other in your separate endeavours. there may be a bit of mutual artist and muse dynamic here, wherein you inspire them and they inspire you. you both value your individuality, and hype each other up.
this person feels devilish in some way. a maverick of sorts. they're taller, perhaps lanky, and there is an unconventional attractiveness to them. they have a unique look that really pulls you in and makes them stand out anywhere they go. they might dress in a way that makes them different from the crowd. they really march to the beat of their own drum. i'm not getting much in terms of family, so they may be very independent and live a life separate from family, or they may have some wounds in regards to their home life that they keep their walls up over. they take their friendships very seriously, many of them are ones they'd take a bullet for. this is a very ride or die type of person. they're very resilient and if they've known terrible hardships in their past, you'll be in awe of their personal strength and ability to get back up when they're knocked down.
some additional details: music is very relevant to the point where you should expect to receive a personalised playlist as a way for them to communicate their feelings for you. they might be musically inclined and play an instrument. astrological things that appear significant: scorpio, aquarius, aries, pluto, uranus, 3rd house, 10th house, 12th house.
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hyewka · 5 months
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Omg for your game beomgyu + hybrid ! Except he’s a bear hybrid since I don’t actually see it often despite him being a bear and though I love puppy hybrid gyu I want to see some bear gyu appreciation 😭🤭🤔
⭑ warnings; hybrid!au, switch!beomgyu, wolf!reader, mean femdom, dubcon, fwb, predator x prey, creampie, use of whore and bitch in demeaning ways, not proofread
⭑ send in a small prompt with the format of (member) + (nsfw prompt) and ill write you a small drabble!
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you don't exactly know what the dumb cub's obsession with you comes from. you've never looked at him different than any other predator, and yet he has this weird big crush on you. does he know what's good for him or do all preys really just lack critical thinking?
"you're pretty," he babbles in answer of your question as you purposefully clamp down on his itty bitty thing. all it really has is girth. as expected of a bear.
"no duh. but i'm not the prettiest wolf out there so again, why do you like me so much?"
your eyes shoot open when beomgyu unexpectantly starts bucking his hips into your cunt, without permission. who the hell does he think he is?! you're about to curse him out, but as you lose your composure the faster he humps into your heat, he starts talking again.
"but y-you're the prettiest to me."
it's embarrassing how much those words have an effect on you. the heat that rushes up your cheeks is embarrassing, all of it is embarrassing, you're the one who's supposed to have him blushing and yet the dumb cub is the one having you so flustered. you manage to recover, quickly collecting yourself. you huff, taking it upon yourself to hold his wrists together over his head then using your right hand to trail under his shirt, pinching his nipples. that ought to teach him.
"ow! fuck! that hurt!" he shrieks, tears shooting to water his eyes.
"ill do it again if you act out little grizzly, sit there pliant or ill rip your little teddy ears off." he looks angry, frowning at you with his bottom lip stuck out like the baby he is, but really who is he to act like this? you're the one riding him and exerting all the effort while he sits against a tree. he should be grateful that you aren't a bigger bitch.
he looks like he wants to say something, but he keeps it in as his frown transforms to ecstasy, mouth agape as his brows knit together and god, his facial expression really has you horny, hoping you could at least cum from this too.
then he rips it away from you. again.
"gonna cum, keep going you're sooogood at this--h-ha fuckkk"
you blink dumbfounded, does he really think you'll let his dirty litter in your belly? god what a dumbass.
almost immediately you stop and his glossy eyes fly open, he really looks like the most precious thing as he tries and fails to hump you. "no--no fuck!"
you tsk, letting go of his wrists and getting off his dick, dusting off your top. "hoped you'd last a little longer," you murmur pulling your panties up, indifferent to the fact that you just ruined an orgasm for him and he's squirming to try and get his high back with his hand. you could tell he's failing.
it's almost like a power trip leaving the bear on his ass, ruined to shreds against the tree, hiccuping and panting, legs still spread like a whore-- you're satisfied with your work if anything. so you didn't expect to be hurled with your back against the tree, everything going so fast and seemingly out of nowhere, the light switch terrifying with how dangerously close beomgyus face is to yours, with your wrists pinned.
"god you're such a bitch," he growls lowly, and you shiver, for the first time seeing his canines in a more predatory light. "want me to treat you like one? throw you around and give it to you rough like all the asshole predators?"
you don't let your weakness show, trying to bury down your fear. "let me go if you know what's good for you beomgyu." you warn trying to stare him down with the same intense look. it's not as effective as it usually is because he doesn't stop, tightening his hold.
"want me to use you as a body rag? thats what you want right? will that get you to treat me better than a fucking second class citizen? fuck your pussy and breed you with my cubs?"
with every word, it's like venom, your nose flaring, you're pissed. but yet the last bit stirs something deep in you, it's all confusing. why're you into this? you like toys you can control, not someone so unpredictable. who is he to think he could speak to you like that anyway? just because you haven't killed him the first chance you got and kept him around your circle he's acting out like he's better than you, like you've wronged him. you sneer at him.
"i could brush my knee against your dick and you'd buckle to your knees gyu, that's how weak you are. you wouldn't know a thing about fucking me like a bitch." you whisper, keeping the demeaning smile on your face, trying to ignore the feeling of his nails digging into your skin further and further, no doubt bruising.
you expect it, him attaching himself to you again. no matter how much you get a little mean, his lips still crash onto yours, rough and greedy and grossly passionate, like he's trying to convince you of something. it's different this time, he's not holding back, slipping his hand down your pants not wasting any time to rub at your clit, not waiting for any instructions and your body is reacting.
"so wet." he sighs into the feeling of your pussy, squeezing in a second, then a third. "what a whore."
he's fast, he's experienced with his fingers, he knows exactly what you like and it's all your fault for instructing him this entire time. he always had a glint to his eyes, like he'd snap and take you himself. and you guess today was his last straw.
"fuck, beomgyu, i-i'm gonna cum.." it's humiliating, but your pussy clenches around his slender fingers, and you could hear him whimpering, like this gets him off too. even when he's the one in control, he's still as desperate.
suddenly, like your warning is the call he's been waiting for, he turns you back to have your body against the tree, and you know he wants to go along his promise to breed you. suddenly you feel the emptiness of his fingers, and you're about to complain before he takes both your wrists in his hand, having them behind your back, his dick proding your entrance. "ready bitch?"
"beomgyu i swear if you cum inside of me-"
he doesn't listen, of course he doesn't. your tits bounce with each and every thrust and you just hope to the gods that nobody finds you like this. he's totally gone savage, trying to drill his cock deep into your pussy, whispering all sorts of filthy words. if everything before wasn't a big whiplash this was it.
even when you orgasm around his dick, he isn't satisfied. "beomgyu-fuck! stop please it h-hurts-"
"im not stopping until i have your tummy filled. ill make you have my babies." he says with so much conviction, his breath staggering.
"for the last time we can't breed dumb cub!" is what you wish you could say but all you're capable of with the mush state of your mind is intelligible moans. he's as fast and ruthless, playing with your tits when he can, not missing a second to kiss all over your neck.
you've lost to beomgyu of all people, how humiliating.
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note; I haven't read over this but hopefully it's okay, crossing my fingers 😭
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natwritesf1 · 3 months
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        Blindsided (Charles Leclerc x Femreader)
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Summary: Moving in together became harder than they expected, a complete nightmare followed by many silent nights. 
Word Count: 4.2K
Warnings: Angst (mean Charles) a bit of fluff. 
Prompt: “Hold on, that’s not fair…” 
a/n: Established relationship, also this was an idea I had for the longest time, but I think I made Charles a bit too mean. Also I continue with the prompts, since I forgot about them. 
There’s another version (sad ending): HERE
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Do people really fall in love with the wrong person? Because if you would’ve asked her that question two months ago, she would’ve told you no. Charles was the right person for her, she found him at the right place and time.
They had a stable and loving relationship, for two years he was the most supportive and caring boyfriend. He was calm and charming, never toxic or disrespectful. Jealousy wasn’t present and neither unnecessary or unexpected arguments.
She never wanted to attack him with a fight, or make him feel guilty about something that was clearly not his fault. So if there was ever a misunderstanding he would calmly talk to her, comforting her if she was upset and she would do the same for him. 
Their misunderstandings often had to do with the distance, she lived alone, all because of her busy job in the city. So to solve the issue, not only did he propose but that meant moving in with him. 
He bought a bigger home, new furniture and ensured that her same lifestyle would follow her. Never the one to make her seem less than him because she had to work a lot more for less money. 
The idea sounded so dreamy and perfect, but soon their relationship started to crumble. The arrival of the new furniture started thousands of arguments. A couple was tested building a bed frame and a few dressers.
“No just let me do it Charles” did that hurt his manly feelings, probably but he wasn’t being useful with the tools. 
“No, I'm stronger…” if it was the Charles before her move he would probably tell her that he knew she was capable of doing it, but that he wanted to help, not diminish her abilities.
“That has nothing to do with our predicament, you just can’t seem to read, and if we don’t have a stable bed what then?” 
“It’s not like we will break it…” however when they were confident enough to finish the bed they moved on to a dresser, after dozens of whispered comments, that weren’t at all nice.
Night time quickly caught up to them, and after a nice shared shower and some dinner they laid on the bed, which quickly swallowed them. It broke down, their scared shrieks were quickly masked by angry rants to each other. 
“See I told you” 
“No I told you that you were getting in my way, I knew the support beam was loose and you told me it was perfect” 
“But if you would’ve left me alone, none of this would’ve happened” 
“Just admit that you suck at building furniture” 
“I’m not admitting to that…” they night continued with malicious comments, until they simply fell asleep on the mattress. The next morning she hired professional help to build all the rest of the furniture. 
Of course he breathed a sigh of relief, but as soon as the helpers came and went, he started another argument. She thought that it would be their last after they both apologized, but she was wrong.
“Did you really hire help, I’m capable…”
“Charles please” she was begging now.
“No amour, you can’t possibly think that I’m not manly…” the way she spoke next only made Charles more angry, she lowered her voice, just like she would do when she was tired or disappointed, and maybe this time it was both. 
“Charles baby, we both know that you’re not good at building things, but that has nothing to do with your masculinity, so stop pretending that this is hurting your feelings” 
“No, because it is…I wanted you to come to a furnished and finished home, but you decided to come early…”
“You told me to” a desperate sigh left her lips, frustration evident in the way she tilted her head to the ceiling. 
“Look, next time please allow me to build everything…I’m sorry ok” and that little apology apparently made everything better at the moment, because she slowly walked into his embrace and a few soft kisses and that was it, but after that first resolution, no more apologies followed the dozens of arguments that they would have. 
A nice relaxing shower was just what Charles needed, he allowed the water to flow down his back, chest… was there a ball of hair by the drain…scratch that, all over the tile? 
Because his vision was not deceiving him, swirly fallen hair was on the tile wall, her hair. The same hair that he now had to rinse off from his body because of course it had made its way to his skin. 
At first he felt a bit bad that she was losing hair, the stress of job hunting was getting to her, but the fact that she would carelessly leave it all over the wall was driving him insane. 
So he gathered the ball of hair, and he threw it at her, her scared shriek could’ve been a little bit funny, but he was seeing red. There was no disgust because it was just hair, but that habit had to stop because it was her hair that was making a mess. 
“Seriously, all over the wall and clogging the drain, it’s just disrespectful that your hair is everywhere, I have to find it in places that are not meant for your hair to be in”
“Sorry it won’t happen again, It’s just instinct I always do it just this time I forgot to clean it up” her sheepish smile almost made him break but it didn’t. 
“No but seriously don't be so careless next time…” but was she really that careless that a week later, his hair was all over the sink, he had shaved and now the little black hairs were invading the sink. 
He was smiling that morning, he looked very handsome and fresh, but her anger made her snap. The breakfast that he prepared was forgotten when she pulled him out of the kitchen. 
“Hey you shaved huh?” 
“Yeah why? Do I look handsome” he started to wiggle his eyebrows, but he soon stopped when he saw her serious face, she was not amused.
“Come with me” she demanded, and she very quickly pulled him. 
“You see this…” she pointed at the sink, and apology was ready to leave his lips, but “…you gave me so much shit for my hair and you do the same thing” 
“Hold on, that’s not fair…It’s not even much, it’s scattered bits” 
“Then you are blind Charles, that’s clearly so many” 
“Just please stop” usually he would remain silent, and let the scolding happen, but walking out of the bathroom was not in his best interest, because he didn’t apologize, plus spending the whole rest of the day gaming while it was his turn to wash dishes was not fair and that’s how their new domestic lives changed for the worst. 
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His actions were disappointing her, but the fact that he  was reducing her to a housewife was the worst thing he could’ve done. She was cleaning every corner of the house, washing his clothes, dishes, even his sweaty clothes because if not there would be a pile of clothes stinking up her home, her home because she was the only one taking care of it. 
But she guesses that he would reiterate that he pays for everything, so in reality it wasn’t her home. He did have a good time reminding her that he was busy with work to clean.
“Hey, have you seen my phone?” 
“No, I could try calling it?” He nodded, looking at her to hurry.
“Why do you need your phone so badly?” 
“I have a meeting…so anything?”
“Nope, I’m sorry”
“Are you hearing that noise, like a banging?”
“Oh yes, it’s the washing machine…”
“Did you wash my clothes that I just took off?” He sounded angry to the brink of yelling.
“Yes, saves me more trouble…” she hurried off to catch him, because she was so confused.
“My phone, you washed my phone!” The sudden stop of the machine and the mess he was making taking out all the wet clothes, was just making her sad. She knew that she would be yelled at and probably be left to clean all the mess. 
“I’m sorry Charles, I swear I usually check but…” 
“Is that all you know how to say? ‘I usually check’, huh? to me it just makes you careless and stupid…”
“Don’t call me that Charles, if you would wash your own clothes, we wouldn’t be here…”
“But didn’t you feel the pockets?”
“Yes ok, but I had to load three today, counting bed sheets, my clothes, your clothes, so I’m sorry if I didn’t have time to check, I’m just so overwhelmed…”
“I again didn’t tell you to do that for me…”
“I know, but there’s too much mess in here…”
“I will hire someone, I told you I could if it’s too much for you, but since you’re not doing much the least you could do is clean” if he would’ve taken a  good look at her, if only, but he didn’t, he just shrugged his shoulders. 
“You’re right, so I’ll stop complaining, here take my phone and don’t you dare hire someone, that will be another thing to hold against me” the phone was roughly slapped on his chest, was he startled? Yes, but the ghostly touch of her hands left no room for any more discussion or apologies, not that he would apologize. 
For whatever reason he started to clean here and there, just his stuff, he never did her laundry or pick up after her. She didn’t care because he was doing his own chores, one less thing to worry about. 
Job hunting in Monaco was horrible, maybe she would have to find a job in Nice where she lived before, maybe she should’ve never left, but that’s one mistake she won’t ever make again. 
Charles would spend half of his free time in his game room, while she begged for his attention, one simple peck every day and that was their intimacy. 
She was tired and overwhelmed by the pressure of living with Charles, she wasn’t comfortable in her own home. She tiptoed around every room, she couldn’t even watch tv, afraid that she would disturb him. 
She no longer asked about his career, and he never mentioned it. She was never encouraged to go travel with him and it seemed like he didn’t want her to be around. 
Not to mention the endless dinners and parties with friends, tipsy Charles was annoying and mean. Once again she wasn’t invited, so overall she was alone with no purpose. 
So even going to ask him if he wanted to see a film with her, was a bit awkward. Two years and she was scared of his sudden reactions, she didn’t know him. 
“Hey Charles, do you want to watch a film with me…”
“I can’t I have a stream soon”
“Oh, I-um thought that you didn’t want to stream anymore?” 
“Yes but I have a few days off, so I can relax” 
“If you’re done early, could you join me?…” but he turned his back on her, there was no point in continuing the conversation if he was uninterested. 
She went back to the living room, but only to turn off the tv, no movie could possibly make her happy. She could organize the closet, she did need to donate a few things, getting rid of the clutter will allow her mind to clear up.
The hours caught up to her, she was folding and packing things in bags. Her back was turned to the door, so she had no clue when a very freaked out Charles came in. 
“What’s going on?” There was a hint of worry.
“What? I can’t clean the closet now ", condescending and a bit frustrated with his question, she turned to look at him. 
“No amour…it’s not that, but could I join you?” 
“I rather you not, you will mess up my cleaning system” 
“You wanted to spend time with me, so I stopped the stream early…” She looked at the time on her phone, five hours ago she asked him to watch the movie with her, so he certainly was in no rush to be with her.
“That was exactly five hours ago, right now I’m cleaning”
“Cleaning, is that all you know how to do?” He had the audacity to hold that against her.
“Spending time with your friends, is that all you know how to do?”
“I’m having fun, I need a break from my job, because I do work, I don’t spend my whole weeks cleaning” her eyes filled with fresh tears because if he would’ve looked a bit harder, he could’ve seen the dry tears from her previous crying session. 
“Don’t worry, next week I start my job again” 
“What do you mean again? The same company hired you”
She cleared her throat, avoiding the sound of weakness that was threatening to come out. “Yes, I will be making a short commute, I couldn’t find anything here, so the train will take me there…” 
“Why did you leave in the first place, if that was your whole plan….”
“That wasn’t the plan Charles, you know that I needed to find a job here, and it’s simply impossible”
“Why didn’t you discuss this with me?” She scoffed, saving the urge to not let out a loud cackle. 
“Not like you would’ve listened to me, besides I need to start contributing” 
“I never told you that you had to…”
“Are you playing a sick joke on me?”
“Wha-What, of course not?”
“Just go back to your friends ok, I can’t really talk to you right” she turned around again, looking for the pairs of the single socks. 
“And why not?”
“Because I’ll end up more disappointed” the silence was haunting her brain, was he processing everything or did he really have nothing else to say? 
However as she looked in his direction he was no longer in the closet. That was her time to let the tears fall once again, she was so tired. There she questioned if she really wanted to live the rest of her life with a selfish man.
Because he was selfish, and he never was. Maybe it was the drastic changes or maybe it was the real Charles that was deciding to show up, he was no longer hiding his true intentions or his real identity, he had changed, maybe he didn’t even love her anymore. 
Her bright red suitcase was there, so she packed. She wanted to have something ready in case she needed to leave in a hurry. 
“What are you doing?” 
“I’m not leaving if that’s what you’re worried about” her sniffles and stained cheeks finally created the reaction that she was looking for, he saw her pain.
“So why are you packing?”
“In case I do decide to leave, maybe Tomorrow, maybe next week, or it could be a year from now, but at least I will be ready to face reality” he was next to her in no time, taking all of the stuff she was putting in, and throwing them on the floor. 
“Charles, I will need to clean that up…”
“Stop! For one second please” she flinched as she backed away, she hated being yelled at, it was a tiny raise of his voice, but it was enough for her to be wary of him. 
“Amour, just listen to me…” 
She needed to leave his presence, so a nice relaxing bath would be the solution. She locked the door and although she heard the door knob jiggle a bit, he didn’t insist much. 
However he was feeling guilty, so much so that he cleaned what was left of the closet, picking up her scattered clothes and lifting the suitcase far from her reach, there he started to realize what he was doing, yet he couldn’t stop arguing with her. 
There was so much frustration, he just felt overwhelmed with all the changes, and he just didn’t set boundaries, they both didn’t. They set chores pretty quickly but nothing else was discussed.
“Oh-you’re in here?” She walked in expecting the mess on the floor but everything was clean, which made her browse through her underwear drawer more easily. 
“Yeah, had to put everything back” 
“Thanks…” 
“You don’t have to thank me, this is my home as well, besides I made the mess” 
“What mess are we referring to?” However he was quick to communicate, to navigate those horrible decisions that he had made, he wanted to fix everything, because he was now uncertain of her love. 
“You could leave tomorrow, next week, or even in a year, but the fact is that you’re thinking about leaving me, it’s like a prenup, do you know that? it’s like you’re wishing for the demise of our relationship, hoping for failure, you’re hoping for our love to fail”
“No Charles what I’m hoping is for you to finally apologize to me, to tell me that you’re sorry about picking fights and making me feel unwelcome here, I thought that moving in together would solve the issue of distance but you seem to want to spend more time with your friends than me, I thought that moving in together would mean a domestic bliss, but you hate doing things with me, the mundane stuff…” 
“Yeah but that was before I knew how unbearable it would become to have you here every day…and don’t walk away because I’m not done, it’s unbearable because all you want to do is clean, and I’m not saying that it’s bad, however I want to cuddle or cook together, but you like to point out everything that I’m doing wrong, it’s like I’m constantly failing at being a good fiancée, so how will I be a good husband? When I saw that red suitcase, I thought that I had lost you” 
“I was blindsided, do you know that? This move and the responsibilities, obligations, the stress and the fights, have come out of nowhere, bringing me down…I was unprepared for this attack of selfishness and fear of losing you…I’m afraid that our relationship is failing…so I’m sorry if I’m unbearable, but you haven’t lost me yet, so what will you do to make me stay?”
“What do you want me to do?” Easy thing to ask for her help, for her to solve everything, but she was still waiting for an apology. 
“I have no clue Charles, figure it out, you said it yourself, I’m constantly nitpicking everything you do, so think without me interrupting” roughly grabbing her change of clothes, she walked out of the closet. 
Sleeping with Charles was different, especially when he was sulking and thinking aloud. They were miles away, sure she could hug him, but then she would lose all her progress, she needed to be tough on him. 
“I love you amour, have done so for many years, but I’m afraid as well, it all started because we couldn’t build our furniture together or at least that’s what I think started all of this, but I remember you being hesitant about moving in with me, I saw your face, you were worried, and maybe I proved you right, I was a nightmare to live with, day and night. So I’m sorry, I will follow the schedule, I will not go out with friends, and I will dedicate my time to you…”
“You don’t have to completely change your routine for me, I just want us to not argue Charles. Before we bickered, and we apologized, but it’s been weeks since that stupid incident with the bed and our apologies were superficial. I don’t want our love to turn shallow, I want us to go deeper, reach new milestones together as a married couple. I don’t want to brush intense feelings away, I need your pain, fears, anger, and love. All of it because yes I was worried about moving in together because I liked my own space to think, but maybe we need to think together because we couldn't seem to focus on the positives” 
They both turned to their sides, both in sync anxiously waiting to talk everything out, so they laughed softly when their noses bumped into each other’s, he slightly poked her nose, making her sink further into the pillow, in a dreamy state-she had missed him. 
“That’s the first time I’ve seen you smile in a long time, and I’m sorry for taking that beautiful smile away. I want you to know just how beautiful you truly are, that’s one positive, the other one was how easily you created a schedule for us, another positive is that you’re closer to me, I get to feel you everyday, mentally and physically, I know that I took that for granted and we became comfortable with just our crazy versions…”
“The neat freak version of us”
“…yes exactly, but I think that a bit of chaos will serve us right, so take a sock off right now”
“Why?” She chuckled, but she still took it off, while he took off his shirt. 
“….and throw it across the room” she mirrored his throw. They were giggling at his throw which probably knocked something out. However the way she found his arms was magical, she slipped right into his warm embrace. His chest was heavenly with the wonderful traces of his cologne. While he could smell her fruity shampoo and indulge in kissing her temple with no fear of rejection. 
“Let’s be messy, let’s not live in a ruled world, I know that it’s important for our structure, we have to figure out our imperfections first and then establish new and better ways to do mundane tasks together ok, but for now let’s be messy” 
“I’m sorry as well amour, I could’ve been less serious about the move, but I was so stressed” 
“You don’t have to apologize, you were trying to make this place feel like our home, and I turned it into a messy place, but not anymore” she gave him an appreciative grin. 
“ I love you”
“I love you more, don’t forget we have to start planning a wedding” 
“I was waiting for you to help me”
“I’m all in, but please don’t make the theme red, it’s already hunting enough” her soft laugh emitted a tiny tickle to his neck.
“Don’t worry I was thinking a nice sage color, I want an intimate wedding with few guests and just lots of food and sweets” 
“I like the color, will make my eyes pop more and as for a small wedding I like it, if I could it would just be us”
“Your mother would kill us” 
“I know, but it’s exciting this new stage and I will embrace it with you, I promise no more fights or streams…”
“I promise no more hair and impromptu cleaning, but I will need the suitcase” he tensed up, his hold got firmer, but his breathing hitched. 
“I can’t believe that I was pushing you away, you were thinking of leaving me that’s how horrible I was behaving”
“I don’t think I was being dramatic either, I was feeling to deeply, I just felt alone, please don’t ever make me feel like that, I had no purpose” 
“I won’t bébé, smack my head if I’m being stupid, your feelings were understandable, none of it was your fault, but I wasn’t hurting you intentionally, I just felt like I was in an unknown territory. I just want to enjoy the house with you, want to enjoy the bed, the kitchen, even the toilet without fear” 
“Are you also having trouble using the bathroom? Because I also feel awkward” A breathy and timid laugh, 
“Honestly yes, but we will learn, that's the beauty of our relationship, we will work to get better, because we love each other” she hooked her pinky with his, in a nice gesture of promising a healthy relationship. 
“To a stable and loving relationship, for the rest of our lives” 
A soft kiss was placed on her lips, starting off very gentle, but it turned messy, he felt hunger for her taste. He had missed having her, touching her and loving her. The breath of relief after their reconciliation was beautiful, his cheeks were flushed and finally he looked like her old Charles, that was the man that she fell in love with at the right place and time. 
The End….
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a/n: Thank you so much for reading, requests will take me a bit of time, but I will write them, so don’t worry I’m not ignoring them, just keeping them safe. Lots of love and kisses- Nat ❤️
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kalki-tarot · 6 months
Text
Your Shadow aspects you need to work on to meet your FS. 🥀
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1 - 2 - 3
Disclaimer — The images I used to select a pile were sourced from Pinterest, I hope the reading will resonate with you. I'm not responsible for any decisions you make in your life from my readings. I'm just a beginner and these readings are just for fun.
Check masterlist for more !
Pile 1
Death, wheel of fortune, queen of swords, the chariot, ace of wands, the emperor, king of swords, the lovers, 10 of pentacles.
The most prominent thing I see here is your obsession for fairytale romances, basically you are having unrealistic expectations etc.
This behaviour leads to you to watching a lot of tarot readings, like alot of them!
The high priestess in the bottom of deck tells me you need to learn how to identify and work with your own intuition. You need to develop it for your own good.
Don't be dependent on tarot readings or fiction romance.
You maybe have an image of a rich handsome ceo in your mind. Idk if it's right or wrong to imagine that or set expectations around it but the tarot the deck is showing me exactly this issue.
Please be reminded that a perfect love story in not perfect. It has ugly fights and a lot of things like that.
I'm not saying you don't deserve a love you desire, I'm saying not to be too obsessed with these unrealistic expectations.
Start working on your intuition, meditate, be in nature for sometime. It'll guide you, you'll be your own guide. Take tarot readings as a possibility of the future. Don't let anything take your power.
You'll surely have a love story, with passion and romance if you trust your intuition.
Pile 2
King of wands, ace of pentacles, strength, devil, the empress, queen of wands, 10 of pentacles, 3 of swords, 2 of swords, 2 of wands, 7 of pentacles, death
I feel like you're in a soulmate connection or a twinflame journey. Are you seeing 22 or 222 or 2323 alot?
Do you recognize your talents and creativity, pile 2? If not then start doing it. Nurture your divine feminine side. Keep yourself in check. It will align you with meeting your future spouse.
Don't be too harsh on yourself, it's okay to not be able to follow the same timetable or routine everyday.
Why are you restraining yourself to a point that it's hampering your spiritual growth?
You were born with these talents you have, keep doing it. Allow yourself to feel and do things what make you happy and peaceful.
I'm aware of the heartbreak or painful time you faced in the past. I know it's stopping you from loving yourself, but see the bigger picture.
You need to make a choice, it's in your hands. The choice to either be stuck in the past or move forward with a free and energized spirit on the road of success.
Work on your plans, carry them out in the reality. Plan and succeed. It's your destiny to reap the benefits of your hardwork.
Allow yourself to go through this transformation in life.
Pile 3
Ace of wands, strength, 10 pentacles, ace of pentacles, 7 wands, the lovers, 4 or cups, death, queen of cups.
You need to balance and keep check of your emotional health. You are too sensitive emotionally. You need to master your emotions.
I think it's because of someone broke your heart romantically or you were in a toxic relationship which made you like this.
Please remember how much potential you have carrer wise. You are much more capable of everything, more capable than you think.
You have a tendency to repeat this cycle where someone tells you something critical, you take that seriously, you blame yourself for being this way here and in your love life too and it just keeps going in a circle.
I think you need to rewire this pattern of self blaming. You are not what you think you are. You are much more tha that. You are meant to live a rich and abundant lifestyle, so focus on that. Love will itself find you.
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viridianriver · 9 months
Text
Vengeful Consumption Part 1: A Step Past Ethical Consumption
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Y'all asked for it on my last Ethical Consumption post! Unfortunately, I'm gonna have to do some ~economics talk~ to make this one make sense.
Isn't it dumb for a company to sell something at a loss? You'd think - but it's not always that simple!
There are two big reasons companies sell things at a loss that I like to exploit - and I'll use Uber and Amazon as case studies to explain! This post will focus on Uber, and exploiting an understanding of startup business models and long-term economic trends, and my next post will be on Amazon, and the exploitation of short-term price fluctuations due to large-scale algorithmic pricing models.
But the shit those two companies are doing - and the ways you can exploit that? Is pretty standard, and you can apply this knowledge to any company!
UBER'S Business Model : Disrupt -> Replace -> Monopolize -> Profit
Disruption - Startup founders love to talk about the disruption they're doing. To "shake up old industries" or "bring customers better prices / service." But that's only step one of their business model - and the benefits to consumers are short lived. The rest? The CEO's don't brag about as much - at least in public.
Replacement - After disruption is replacement, where the company aims to put the competition in that market out of business. Uber did this with the taxi industry.
Monopolization - This is the end goal of any tech startup - to control the majority of the market - or as close as possible. Uber currently has 72% of the ride-hailing industry market share, and to put Uber and Lyft together? 98% of the American ride-hailing market.
Profit - After eliminating competition, the company (monopoly or duo-opoly in the case of Uber and Lyft) raises prices to higher than they were ever before, and finally starts turning a significant profit.
How Can A Company Operate At A Loss For Years?
Investors, babey!! Basically, finance bros throw millions or billions of dollars at companies that are currently losing money, making a bet they'll someday start making hella money, and pay them back later (plus more) with a "return on investment". It's a total gamble though - 90% of startups fail.
And how do these finance bros have billions to throw around? Well, they're being invested in by an even bigger fish (who's probably playing with some of your money right now if you use a bank, or have any retirement savings) But that's a whole other LongPost.
That way, the Disruption / Replacement / Monopolization stages of the startup are paid for by insanely rich people who are gambling that they'll become insanely richer off you, the end user, if they succeed.
So what do Uber's finances look like?
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(data src)
The blue line, Operating Cash Flow, is what we usually think of when we talk about business finances. The money made off the product or service being sold, minus the money spent to operate the business. And up until 2022? Uber was consistently hemmoraging billions of dollars a year. Usually you'd think of that as a failure, but no - things are working as intended. Let's see the other lines.
The yellow line, Financing cash flow, is what Uber was being given by venture capitalists investing in it. Up until 2020-2022, they were pretty consistently raking in billions a year here.
The red line, Investing Cash Flow, is money spent or made when Uber is investing in other companies. So just like how the venture capitalists are putting money down now, hoping for a return later? The red line is Uber putting money into other companies now, hoping for payback. So far it's been negative, but unless they made some damn stupid investments, I'd expect it to go positive eventually.
And the green line, Net Cash Flow, is the total of all the above revenue (money in) and expenditures (money out). They were making bank (while also losing bank) before the pandemic, but that ole global infectious disease screwed up their ~infinite growth mindset~ oh no.
So to summarize all that nerd talk? Uber's been propped up for years by rich guys gambling that it can succeed at monopolizing the market, so that once it does, and hikes prices, they can get even richer.
What's that mean for the rest of us?
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Well, Uber doesn't share its current pricing algorithm let alone historical ones. But to get a feel of price, I plotted the relative frequency of Google seaches for "Uber Expensive" in Pink.
And to note a few trends? A dip in 2020 when nobody was riding for obvious reasons. But more importantly?
A huge spike in 2021 and 2022 - Just as Financing Cash Flow tapered off and Operating Cash Flow became positive. And this is NOT a one - off or coincidence, this was exactly what I expected to see.
Because the low prices at the start? Subsidized by investment money, and with the sole purpose of obtaining a monopoly (Or as close as they could legally get)
But when that dries up? They need to increase fares to increase their Operating Cash Flow, aka the money they make off all of us. Now that they own the market, they can set prices as they please.
I'm always a bit saddened when I see people going to corporations to complain about prices, as if they're doing anything but wasting their breath. We are nearly entirely beside the point in their business model. I've worked in this field - all these startups consider themselves answerable to their venture capital investors, not their users. All they need to provide for you, is the bare minimum level of service to not drive you away. And that's not hard to provide in a monopoly.
So we're getting fucked.. Are you finally gonna tell me how to fuck em back?
First off, don't fuck startup bros, it ain't gonna be pleasurable. But yes, I'll tell you.
Basically, if a company is in it's Disruption / Replacement phases, they're going to be throwing around insane discounts to work towards monopolization. Go ahead, hop on the latest trends. Take that 4 dollar Uber ride. Take that $20 off coupon. Take that free trial (Just remember to cancel!) They're losing money to gain a monopoly.
Just don't stop supporting the businesses the startup is looking to replace either - they'll need your support! But if you take a couple free perks too? No shame IMO.
But keep an eye on the company's financing / investment cash flow. You can track it here. And when it starts to dry up? They're either close to monopolizing a market, or close to going bankrupt. Either way - know their first cash cow's been bled dry, and you're the next cash cow.
So that's your time to bounce! Delete the app and tell your friends to do the same - play your part in screwing them out of that monopoly - and move on to grift the next grifter!
I promise you as an insider in this world, nothing you say or do will make these companies sweat as much as just deleting the app when they need your money most.
(legal disclaimer below the cut. because these bitches are litigious.)
(It's just my fucking opinion bro)
The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in the text
belong solely to the author, and not necessarily to the
author's employer, organization, committee or other group
or individual.
This text is for entertainment purposes only, and is not
meant to be referenced for legal, business, or investment
purposes.
This text is based on publically available information.
sources may contain factual errors. The analysis provided
in this text may contain factual errors, miscalculations, or
misunderstandings.
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yelenasdiary · 10 months
Note
Hey what about Professor Wanda and student R and her punishing R for purposely not doing well in her class and she makes her recite an entire poem while she fucks R👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
Word for Word
Pairing: Professor! Wanda Maximoff x Student! Reader 
Summary: After not paying attention in class, your professor asks you to stay behind for a little chat. 
Smut | Abuse of Power | Legal Age Gap | Language Warning | Strap on Use (Reader receiving) | Fingering (Reader receiving) | Top! Wanda | Bottom! Reader | Slight Degradation | Mention of Safe Words | 2.3K | 18 + Minors DN!! |
AC: I actually don’t know any poems if I am being honest, I actually used a couple of the poems for this! I hope you enjoy x
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"Y/n, can I see you after class please? We need to have a little chat" your professor looked sternly at you as the rest of your classmates rose from their seats and began to make their way out of the room. You sighed and rolled your eyes at the woman who stood tall with confidence at the front of the room. Your plan was working, you finally got the teacher to snap. For weeks, you've been showing little to no interest or attention to the new unit in your literature class. 
It's not that you don't take your studies seriously but when you noticed the way you couldn't stop thinking about your professor in a very, very inappropriate way, you couldn't stop yourself from seeing how far you could get before getting some alone time with the woman. 
"What's the issue now?" you asked in a huff once everybody had left the room. Wanda tilted her head at you as she walked over to your desk, "the issue is your failing my class" she replied in a stern voice. "So? maybe if you taught something interesting, I'd be interested enough to want to learn something" you snapped with a light smirk on your lips. Wanda ignored your smart-arse reply and wandered over towards the classroom door, locking it before you had a chance to say another word. 
"You're not leaving this room until you've recited every poem, we've spoken about in the two weeks" your professor broke the silence as she walked back to her desk at the front of the room. 
"What makes you think I'm going to do that?" you chuckled as you stood up, throwing your back bag over your shoulder. 
"Because you'll do anything I saw when I'm done with you" her words caught your attention as you looked at her, she reached down to her lower draw and pulled out a dark red dildo already attached to a black harness. You stood in shock, not thinking your plan would actually work but you enjoyed messing with her. "What? You think I haven't seen the way you act around me? The short skirts you've been wearing, letting me see the piece of thread you wear as panties?" she added with a raised brow. 
Your eyes looked to the toy that now sat a little too proudly on her desk and you could already tell from the size of it that it was bigger than anything you've used before. "I've tried many different ways to get you to pay attention in my classes, but it seems that your mind is full of dirty thoughts, I shouldn't expect better from a whore. Maybe you'll learn a thing or two with your mouth full" Wanda stepped in front of her desk, tilting her head at you once more. "Come here" she spoke. You didn't hesitate to throw your bag to the floor and walk towards your professor. You looked at her with need, but she only shook her head at you, "so you do listen to instructions, good. Strip" she spoke sternly once again. 
The tone in her voice only sent a throb to your core as you began to undress yourself for the professor, she watched you, taking in every single inch of your bare skin as her eyes fed on your naked body. "On my desk with your legs spread. We don't have much time; you have a test for tomorrow's lesson, and you have a lot to learn!" Wanda spoke and you could've sworn you saw a faint smirk tugging at her lips before you sat yourself up on her desk, spreading your legs to give her a clear view of your already wet and needy pussy. 
"What would you like me to start reciting?" you asked as you watched Wanda walk towards you. Her eyes never left yours as she came in contact with you, running her hands gently up and down your thighs just to watch your cunt clench with need as her hands came closer to where you've been so desperate for her. "What's your safe word?" she asked, ignoring your question. You looked at her while he hands inched closer and closer to your pussy, "M-mango" you replied in a stutter when the woman ran her fingers over your slit. 
"Adorable" she smiled softly, "recite The Sick Rose, without mistakes" Wanda added as she ran her fingers between your folds. Her touch was enough to make you close your eyes with pleasure, wanting to moan whenever she brushed over your clit. Wanda teased you until she was satisfied you were ready to take her fingers. 
"Go on baby, this is what you wanted, isn't it?" she looked up at you as she slid two fingers into your pussy, using your own slick for an easy entrance. 
"O R-rose thou a-art sick" you spoke, letting a moan or two slip as your professor buried her fingers deep inside you, "Keep going, ignore me. I'm just going to play with you for a while" she smirked knowing she had you melting in her hands.
"The invisible worm" you went on, letting your eyes close as Wanda began thrusting her fingers in and out of you. "That flies in th- more!" you broke, throwing your head back and pushing yourself more onto her fingers. Wanda stopped instantly, "I told you no mistakes! Start again" she looked at you, "the longer you play around baby, the longer you'll be waiting" she added as she looked over to the red dildo sitting beside you. 
You nodded, "s-sorry miss" you moaned when she returned to thrusting her fingers deep inside you. "O Rose t-thou art sick. That flies in the night, In the h-howling storm:" with every word, Wanda sped up. Her free hand kept your hips still from thrusting yourself more on her fingers as you chased your building orgasm. "Has f-found out thy bed, of crimson j-joy:" your moans were beginning to make their own decisions causing you to take a few short seconds to get yourself together, trying your best not to stuff up the poem for a second time as Wanda curled her fingers inside you. 
"I didn't say stop, did I?" Wanda looked up at you as she thrusted her fingers as deep as they could possibly go. "And his d-dark secret l-love, does thy life d-destroy!" you completed the poem with a loud moan, throwing your head back once more when you felt your professor slide a third finger inside you. "M-miss! Please!" You begged, knowing your orgasm was balancing on the edge. 
Wanda smirked, "do you want to cum baby?" she asked. You nodded instantly with need, with want. "Please! P-please can I cum?!" You moaned once more. 
"Who's the poem by baby? Tell me who wrote it and when and I'll let you cum" 
The last thing your mind was thinking about was who wrote the poem, let alone when it was published but the need for release was growing stronger with every thrust from the professor. "W-William Blake!" you moaned in an almost scream, "1794!" you added. 
"So you do listen, go on darling, cum!" Wanda instructed, finally something you didn't have to rack your brain to think about. You came hard around her fingers; she slowed her pace down to allow you to ride out your first orgasm. A proud smile tugged at the woman's lips when she slowly pulled her fingers out of your wet pussy, bringing them to her lips and sucking them clean while never breaking the eye contact she shared with you. 
"So sweet" she hummed at your sweetness on her tongue before she reached for the strap on and harness. While you gathered yourself and recovered from your high, Wanda striped herself of her clothing and attached the harness to her waist, "now let's see how well you can listen" her eyes hinted for you to get on your knees. 
Wanda ran her fingers through your hair as you looked up at her, the red toy in your face just waiting to meet the back of your throat. "You're too pretty to be playing these stupid little games darling" she spoke, "if you wanted me to ruin you, all you had to was ask nicely" she added before running the tip of the toy over your lips, "open up baby, it's time for your second lesson" she smirked as you opened your mouth, welcoming the toy as she guided it into your mouth. 
You treated the toy as if it was real, doing everything you'd seen in videos, gagging and making a mess of the toy with your salvia while Wanda read multiple poems along with the author and published dates. Poems from Emily Dickinson, John Keats and Lord Byron where not bedded into your brain while Wanda used your mouth to prepare the toy for you ever growing wet pussy. 
Wanda stopped you and removed the toy from your mouth and a soft and proud smile, "it's a shame I can't have your mouth looking this pretty in class, maybe you'd learn a lot more" she guided you back to your feet before crashing her lips onto yours, smiling against them knowing she now had her own perfect toy to use whenever she wanted, however she wanted. 
"Next you'll recite Wild Nights by Emily Dickinson. No mistakes and no pauses and no moaning or you'll start everything that we've learnt so far" Wanda gently placed you back on her desk on your back, kindly spreading your legs for her to run the tip of her toy through your slick folds. "Word for word" she added as she guided the toy into your already clenching pussy. 
You gripped the edge of your professor's desk to keep yourself from moaning her name at the way she stretched you out, bottoming out as her thumb drew light circles around your clit just to add to your pleasure. "Wild Nights! Wild Nights!" You started, hoping you weren't too loud but nodding at the same time, letting Wanda know it was okay for her to start moving. "Were I with thee, w-wild nights should be" you went on, fighting every need of yourself to moan while your knuckles turned white.
 "Wild Nights should be, 
Our luxury!
Futile the winds
To a heart in port—"
With every word, Wanda thrusted deeper into you, the room full with a mix of your words and the sound of her thighs slapping against your skin. Your head thrown back on the hard desk as your professor had her way with you, pounding into you, giving you more than you thought she could ever give. For weeks of teasing her and trying to get her to snap, this is exactly how you wanted her to take you, if not, even better than you thought. 
"Done with the compass, done with the chart!" You went on. 
"You're taking me so well baby, keep going, I know you're close" Wanda couldn't help herself as she lent down and planted kisses on your neck, careful not to leave a mark. One hand on your left hip while her other hand worked your clit with tight circles, driving you crazy. 
"Rowing in Eden!
Ah! the sea!
Might I but moor
To-night in thee!" You finished with great struggle but when you looked at Wanda she smiled softly, "good job baby, now just lay there and look pretty while I play with you" she placed a hand over one of your hands that gripped her desk with all your might before she kissed your neck once more, "let it out darling, tell me how good I make you feel" she whispered. You moaned, finally! Feeling the way Wanda slid in and out of you with such ease and now being able to vocal show her just how good she truly was making you feel pushed you to the edge. 
"Gonna cum!!" you moaned, wrapping your legs around Wanda's waist to keep her in place as she continued to pound into you. "Yeah? Do you think you deserve it? Are you going to start listening and paying attention in my classes more?" She looked at you with a raised brow, thrusting into you harder if that were even possible. 
"Y-yes! I promise! God, p-please!" You begged in a loud moan. 
"Yes, Miss Maximoff!" Wanda looked you directly in your eyes, secretly she loved when you called her in such a formal matter. 
"Y-yes M-miss Maximoff!" you moaned once more, gripping your professor's arms unaware of how harshly you were digging your nails into her skin. "Cum for my baby, I've got you" Wanda instructed, finally letting you break as you moaned her name once more as you came all over her toy. Wanda lent down, wrapped her arms around you before pulling up into her chest, gently stroking your naked back as your orgasm took you to a place you never thought was possible. 
"You did so good, baby, I've got you" she whispered as you began to come down form your high, clinging to her from your fucked out state. Wanda gently removed herself from inside of you, reaching for the box of tissues that sat on her desk and using them to gently clean you up. 
Moments passed before you began to start dressing yourself, as did Wanda. "If you pass tomorrows test, we'll have another chat" Wanda spoke as she turned to face you. A soft smile tugged at your lips, "and what if I do?" you asked. 
"Don't play games sweetheart, not ones you will lose at anyways" Your professor replied, handing you a practice quiz sheet, "go home and study" she added. 
You left the room that day already thinking of other ways to earn yourself a little after class chat from your literature professor.
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doberbutts · 2 months
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We have a little free pantry in our front yard (toothbrushes, tampons, shelf-stable snacks bottled water, etc.), and I read a lot about people's experiences having one online before we put ours up re: expectations about potential interactions with people using it, but nothing prepared me for how weirdly aggro *other* people sometimes get about us having it as a form of "activism" as opposed to some other, more nebulous idea of broader social change. "Don't you think it'd be better to volunteer at or donate money to a homeless shelter, so those people can get the actual help they need?" "Shouldn't you focus more on trying to campaign for policy changes that will help more people than one street corner if you care about this problem?" "Isn't doing that a waste of time?" "Aren't you just encouraging people not to get help?" I do that other stuff when I can. This is something small I can do - in addition to raising awareness and fighting for bigger change, when I have the time and money and spoons - and at least, when I don't. It's crazy to me to approach social justice issues with such an all-or-nothing mindset as some people seem to. I've met enough of the individuals who utilize it to know it makes a difference in a very tangible way for the people directly around me.
No, I agree entirely.
Corny and dated as it is, there's a reason the saying is "be the change you want to see". If no one within the community puts in the work to fix the community's problems, even in little bits and pieces, then how will anything change? Raising awareness only goes so far. What happens when all anyone is, is aware? Aware, and still doing nothing, waiting for someone else to put in the work.
Sometimes, that someone is going to need to be you. You can't just wait around and wait for someone else to do it for you.
If I see someone digging through the trash for food, I wave them over and offer them food from my house or fresh food from a store or take them to a restaurant where they can order whatever they want. If I'm getting groceries and I see someone very obviously homeless struggling to pay for their food, I tell the cashier to add it to my bill. No one starves in front of me. Ever since I stopped needing to rely on food stamps, no one starves in front of me.
This past summer I saw someone splayed out on the sidewalk in 95F weather in direct sunlight. I couldn't tell if he was unconscious from drugs or passed out from the heat or just simply had fallen asleep in the shade and then the sun moved. I was getting groceries so I added a bunch of hot chicken to my order plus several bottles of refrigerated water. I went over to him and woke him and explained that I was worried he needed medical attention. He'd passed out because he was tired, he told me. I offered him the hot food and the water and he thanked me, telling me he'd run out of water the night before and food the day before that and didn't have any money to get any more.
Everyone else had been walking around him like he was just an obstacle on the sidewalk. No one had thought to offer any help. When I walked away, some folks who saw me told me that that was very nice of me. I don't think it was nice of me. I think that's just what you should do if you see someone obviously in distress. They agreed that he seemed like he needed the help. They didn't act. They agreed that the compassionate and right thing to do was to offer assistance and make sure he was okay. But they didn't do it. They waited for someone else to do it.
I've mentioned in passing that I volunteer for the local teen LGBT club, helping lost gay kids find their way and maybe not kill themselves about it. It's not much. I mostly just text back and forth with whatever kids get my number from the adults that run the thing. Sometimes I give them tips and advice. Sometimes I'm just the cool gay uncle they tell about their latest school drama. Once or twice I've served one of them lunch on my couch while my dogs smother them with affection and they cry about their latest heartbreak. I don't do speeches or history lessons or anything like that. I don't think I'm qualified for it, in honesty. But if even one of them doesn't commit suicide, if even one of them doesn't self-harm, if even one of them no longer feels all alone in the world because I'm there when they reach out to me, that's enough.
Today on my commute to work, the guy in front of me had a major wipeout on his motorcycle. I stopped my car in a position that none of the other cars could hit him, and asked if he was okay, and waited until his friend (also on a motorcycle) had circled back around to help him off the road and check him over. I left once his friend waved me away. I offered to call an ambulance but he refused.
A couple weeks ago, also on my commute, a woman was stopped on the side of the road, waving her arms at drivers, shouting for help. I stopped. The other drivers didn't. Her car had died, she was new to town, and she was somewhere that notoriously doesn't get cell service. I helped her call a tow truck. It wasn't a trap. She didn't want to hitchhike. She just was stuck and panicked about it.
I stop and help animals get off the road. I've lost count on how many turtles I've carried to the other side. I helped my neighbor search for a dog he saw get hit by a car so he could take it to the vet. I shoveled my elderly neighbor's driveway for her, and talked my boss into giving her a major discount for her little dog's dental in which pretty much every tooth needed extraction or he would die. When I still lived in that rental with my roommates, we were surrounded by kids. Every kid on the block knew we were a safe house to go to. If they needed food or water, if they needed entertainment, if they needed just somewhere to be, they could be at our place. When covid started, I did a "reverse halloween" since Halloween was canceled, and I put bags of candy on every doorstep that I knew had kids inside. I've done a "neighborhood santa" putting a small toy plus a small gift card for the parents on every doorstep that has kids, for as long as I've lived around kids.
When I say activism requires action, I don't mean that every single person is required to save a thousand lives. The honest answer is, unless you have a lot of disposable time and money, you probably won't. But you can still make a difference. To one. To ten. To twenty.
And you know what? I'm not saying black people specifically came up with this- but how can you be surprised to know this is how I live my life when I say over and over that I was raised by black activists who lived during MLK Jr and Malcolm X and knew community action would have the longest-lasting effects? Of course I do all this. That's what being part of a community *is*.
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