Literally have no idea why it's so preposterous to some people for Ganondorf to have maaaany kids who he never really knows or sees when--
it's been established in canon that the gerudos communally raise their children and men were never allowed into their kingdom in the first place so fathers were simply never a vital thing in their culture. Not until the nightmare that is BotW timeline anyways, but even then they don't get to see their dads once they become like what... 6 years old, right?
Like sure I'm sure Ganondorf loved kids as much as he loved all his people, and interacted with them, but whether they were his or not due to him fulfilling one of many of his people's wishes... of which he likely did many many times... why would that matter at all? To him? Especially when he was probably providing a kid for a lesbian couple anyway. Sure it'd matter to the mother bc 'hell yeah this is my daughter I made with the KING. She's going to be fucking JACKED when she grows up. Going to be wrestling moldugas and sandworms by herself, unarmed'
okay I'm sorry my brain is shorting out now I need to stop posting.
Point still stands though.
(more in tags.)
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Saw this image of Soap and Ghost enjoying the spoils of a carnival/fair and my brain immediately went instead to Actually They Are Both Carnies AU.
(I am going to preface this by saying I am much more familiar with American traveling carnie lifestyles rather than the UK [do they... even do those over there?] or anywhere else, so that's what I'm basing this on. This is set vaguely late 80s-early 90s in my mind.)
Ghost has been working as a carnie for a very long time. He basically grew up on the fair circuit, helping his dad as soon as he was old enough to carry things and count out change (and do a little pick-pocketing on the side).
Old Man Riley runs a ring toss booth, though not well. He's constantly on the bad side of the man that owns the ring toss trailer but they keep him on the job because, when he's sober, he's charming enough to pull people in and keep them playing. Problem is, he's increasingly not sober. Simon's tall for his age though, so, as soon as they can pass him off as 14 (he's about 9 or 10), the lead has a few of the other barkers teach him how to draw people in. Look charming, smile wide, get them to see you as a friend, play the part and get paid. Simon hates it, but he does what he's told because it keeps his mom and Tommy housed and fed.
(Lead's wife is pretty good about keeping odd jobs set aside for Simon's mom at any time of day she needs to escape. Lead's wife can't interfere every time, but she and a couple of the other carnies do try to minimize the abuse by offering legitimate ways to get away for a short time.)
As Simon and Tommy grow, Old Man Riley steps back more and more. He's almost never sober anymore and rarely seen anywhere near the booth-fronts. He's a terror in the back lots, and burns through a lot of the goodwill the rest of the family manages to generate among their fellows. Tommy starts being trained up taking tickets at a fun house, and he's good at it. He's not as conventionally pretty as Simon, but he's flirtier, more attuned to crowd moods, and much more willing to bark, so he does well pulling.
As soon as Simon's 18, he joins the Army. He's always liked the travel aspect of carnie life, but he hates that it's seasonal work and the months and months of downtime. He never grew to enjoy having to put on the charming mask to draw in customers. Instead, he leaves with the lead's grudging blessing and a promise to his mom and Tommy to catch them up at whatever stop they're at whenever he has leave.
The Army is... nice. It's not necessarily a life he wants to live forever, but for now it's different and yet still enough like what he left behind to satisfy. He ends up having to take an extended leave right after basic to sort Tommy out, though. Drugs have always been passed around pretty openly around the booths and caravans, the the Riley boys had never partaken. His mum had sent a letter that Tommy had been getting into them and not handling it well. She doesn't say it outright, but Simon blames the old man.
He finds an unexpected ally in Beth, the daughter of the man widely acknowledged to be taking over as lead when the current one finally retires. It's not exactly an advantageous match for Beth's family, but she's stubborn and has made up her mind. She wants Tommy and she's going to have him so long as he wants her back. Together they get him clean and Simon gives the pair of them his blessing and a good chunk of the money he's saved over the years.
(Tommy uses it to buy his own caravan so he and Beth aren't imposing on their parents. They both agree Mrs Riley can stay whenever she needs. The old man has been getting worse the more he sinks into the drugs and drink. He'll need to be left behind soon, but no one can agree on where. There are a lot of jokes about ditches and empty fields. [A good number of them aren't jokes.])
Simon heads back to the Army with a lighter heart, ready to do his duty knowing his family is once again as safe and happy as he can make them. They exchange postcards and letters when they can, e-mails when they manage to find somewhere to send one from. Simon doesn't make it home in time for Joseph's birth, but he sees him as often as the leave schedule allows. Everything is good for a few years.
Then. Roba.
Ghost crawls out of his desert grave and, while the Army welcomes him back, they simply do not have a place in their ranks for a dead man. They want to forget the betrayal by one of their own and the loss of a whole unit of promising soldiers; sweep it under a rug and never speak of the shame again. Ghost gets an honorable discharge and several discreet leads to a few PMCs and even the CIA if he wants to stay fighting near the front lines. He doesn't.
Instead, he goes home. He takes what's left of his belongings, the rest of his pay, the survivor benefits in the name of Simon Riley's next of kin, and the hush money check thinly disguised as a pension and goes to find his family. He finds them happy, safe, and sound. Joseph is thriving under the attentions of both Mama Riley and Beth's parents. Tommy's in charge of a handful of booths now, and Beth is running their section of the back lots as well as any sergeant Ghost's ever known.
He gets himself a little trailer to sleep in so he's not imposing and slides back into the crew so easily it's almost as though he never left. Except now he has a mask he won't remove for anyone. The lead sets him up doing mostly setup/tear down, but supplements his time with stalking the fun houses and dark rides to make sure no one's slipped off into a corner trying to get frisky or burn the place down.
Sparks and Washington, when they show up, don't make it far into their convoluted revenge/enticement plot against Ghost. Tommy ends up losing an eye and an unlucky witness gets Sparks' knife to the ribs, but at least they'll both live. The same can't be said for the two ex-Army men.
The carnies close ranks when the authorities show up. They blame the injuries on an after hours party trick that got a little out of hand and accept medical treatment, but offer no information that would lead to any charges being filed against anyone. When they move on to the next show, they leave behind two unmarked graves that will lay undiscovered on those grounds for decades to come.
(The road out of town ends up with one of its own, and Old Man Riley is guaranteed not to bother anyone any further. The crew doesn't take lightly to rats.)
Life slowly crumbles its way back to a semblance of normal. A few stops later, they pick up a few new additions. One of them happens to be a brash Scottish man who comes highly recommended by the head of another crew named Price. Johnny "call me Soap" MacTavish immediately gets on Beth's good side (and Ghost's annoyed one, much to his chagrin).
Still, this Soap guy is kinda growing on him. Just a little.
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