#i've been adding to my daydream list like crazy though

[jazzythursday]

hi hi for the fic ask game hmmm 1, 20, 35, 48, and 74! <3

ahhh friend! Hi Sparrow!!!

1) Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

I just answered this one in another ask, so I’ll paste in what I wrote for that here ;3

So much. So so much. I come up with so many little bits and moments for fics to find places for later. Usually they end up in bullet pointed lists that eventually make sense. Sometimes I spend weeks just jotting down random ideas or lines of dialogue before I try to write a single paragraph. Other times I go straight in with no outline or planning though, and those fics always feel particularly raw to me because they came straight out of my feelings in the moment.

20) Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics?

I want to get into writing AU fic, but for now all my posted works are canon. AUs kind of terrify me to be honest. I also just... don't get that many ideas for AUs. So much of how I see my favourite characters is rooted in their canon backstories, so taking them out of it has never been something I've been that interested in. Maybe once I exhaust myself of filler scenes and canon continuations I'll catch the AU bug, but for now I have waaaay too many ideas that are set in canon.

.....That being said, I still think about the sun summoner!Jesper au I wrote the first chapter draft of pretty often.....

35) What’s your favorite fic you’ve posted?

This should come as no surprise to anyone, but it’s Everyday, Just a Little or a Little Bit (shamlessly plugging it again here lol) It’s the first fic I started for soc/wesper and the last fic I finished, and definitely the one I’d recommend highest!

48) Who is your favorite character to write for?  Has this changed since you’ve started writing for that fandom?

Again, no surprises here---it's Wylan!

The funny thing is that just yesterday I was ranting about how much I miss writing from Wylan's pov. Because I really miss it. The last few things I’ve worked on have all been from Jesper’s, and then I randomly went back to work on a Wylan wip and realised that it was sooo much easier to connect emotionally and know what I wanted to say. Wylan's has been my go to from the get go (woah, that's a mouthfull), but I don't think I clocked how much I was struggling until then.

(It’s getting to the point where I considered trying to pre-write Wylan’s pov of a scene just to figure out where it was going so I can put it in Jesper’s. Which is crazy, and probably not worth it, but it's where we are  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Another thing I noticed is that a lot of writing I do for Jesper inevitably ends up being about Wylan (to be fair, a pretty large amount of my Wylan povs are about Jesper too) or else they rely heavily on dialogue, whereas my Wylan povs get paragraphs and paragraphs of inner monologue and thought, which doesn’t come as naturally to me for Jesper.

74) Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

hmmmm... Familiar Strangers is my least popular wesper fic, so maybe that one. I get why it might have been a harder sell since it's pre-relationship and unresolved, but I do really like it as a little peek into Jesper's head between ep 1 and 2.

Also, not wesper (gasp!) but Homewards, to Land is a Good Omens fic I wrote few years ago that I reread the other day and really liked. I just went back and added a few lines/fixed some typos, so if anyone wants to go show some love to it, I'd definally apreciate it!

Thanks for the questions! <3

#wesper #wylan van eck #jesper fahey #jazzy writes #six of crows #shadow and bone #jazzy answers questions #good omens fanfiction #good omens

[unfilteredgrounds]

Beauty in Madness

There is something to be said about the period of coming out of a mental breakdown. I'd liken it to weathering a particularly horrible storm-- you're not sure if you're going to make it through the roiling black clouds, pelting rain and hail, and high winds, and almost want to curse nature itself for making things this way, and then, you emerge from your hideyhole, shocked at how serene the landscape has become.

I used to be embarrassed when I broke down. Due to my upbringing, I'm sure, I saw it as a shameful thing, to sink so deep into your own misery that you scared yourself. But that's not very constructive, is it? I had the most wonderful trip with my partner, and though it was unfortunately brought about by how worried he was for me, it ended up (in my opinion) bringing us far closer together than we'd previously been.

I wrote a letter to myself upon my return, where I bared my truest feelings, those of which I've been too ashamed to really talk about.

I present as someone who is so conscious of others' feelings, someone who is kind, but there is calculation in that kindness. I don't actually trust people, in fact I find it nearly impossible to. To the point where I will actively put myself down instead to get reassurance instead of just asking for it from people.

I have no idea how to articulate what I need. Maybe this is because that part of me was hushed so much as a child that it's just gone silent completely, but it's crazy how I'd rather call myself stupid and needy than ask someone to spend some time with me, or shoot me a text more often. It's calculated in an accidental way. I am fully aware that I am making less of myself, however, it keeps me safe, because I'll not be surprised if the person I'm interacting with leaves me. I can't be betrayed if I set myself up for disappointment, and even though that makes so much sense, it's so... sad.

I don't think I've ever fully sat and come to terms with the fact that, by nature, I'm actually a very lonely person. I like being alone, don't get me wrong, but independence and loneliness are two separate, but crossing, paths. I've done so much work to isolate myself from potential threats that I've completely shaved my personality down to an insecure husk, all because I'm terrified of being mocked and shunned again. Independence is all fun and games until it's not your choice. Kinda mind-fucky, right?

And, my womanhood brings a whole other layer onto the mess. I want to be a strong, independent woman that other people look up to, but the idea of what that actually looks like has been so warped in my head that this insecure husk is my girl boss. Keeping everyone at arm's length keeps me on top. And that's not healthy.

Let's make a list.

The parts of me that I've hidden away:

-Hopeless romantic. I love love, I love showing affection.

-Wanderlust. I am an airhead, in the nicest way possible. I like to daydream, I like to play in the rain, I like soft textures and small bells and windchimes and wandering around outside, not doing much else.

-Philosopher. I have so many thoughts about so many things, but have hushed myself up for fear that I sound stupid.

-Advocate. I hate it when others are mistreated, and that needs to start being directed at myself, too.

I don't know whether it's the ever-looming autism diagnosis that is evasive as it is elating? Daunting? But I've realized just how much of a mask I have formed over the years, just how much I've added layers and layers onto myself in the name of protection, while in reality, I've been screaming, locked away inside this horrible trap with no one to help. Just as intended.

Recently, I've been trying to live more fully. Not by journaling (you'll have noticed the absence on that front), or any of the other crap the influencers say works wonders (for the content, maybe, but are you really happy?). I've gone off most of my social media. I do my best not to look at Instagram, or Twitter. I only contact people through text, and I've been vocal about others reaching out to me for once. Maybe it's a bit harsh, but dammit, I think I deserve to hash out a little bit of harshness myself. And yeah, it is a wake-up call. I'm not some fun, shiny thing that can be tucked away in a corner until someone decides they need my specific flavor. You want to be in my life? You have to be in it. And it's been working. My friends have gotten more involved, or at least they're trying to be. And that feels good.

As much as I revolt against the idea, it feels good, asking for things. It's nice, getting to voice my wants and needs, and hope that they're answered (most of the time, they have been). The other day, I got it in my head that I'd take a bath, put on some ambient music (think spa) and just focus on my breathing and how my body felt in the water. Emerging, I felt more relaxed than I think I've felt in years. It's amazing what a little care can do for you.

It's not frivolous, it's not bitchy, and if people think that, who cares??? They're not worth my time. The people that are will show it.

As long as I do my best to be kind, to be responsible, to put out goodness into the world (keep in mind I said "do my best," no absolutes), I think that will come back to me. I know this to be true. And, if I extend the trust to myself to trust in others, the bad times may not be as bad. Or at least, I won't be alone.

[worksby-d]

Anymore writing coming? Or being posted?

hi! i don't know lol i never have anything planned ahead 😅 nothing really sticking out to me rn but i always say that and then come up with something so hopefully

#i've been adding to my daydream list like crazy though #i should just throw them all up here maybe one of them is a hit #i actually have a christmas idea that's been hounding me for MONTHS but it's literally june SO #lovebittenbyevans #answered

[robininthelabyrinth]

I think the structure is a bit different from other prompts I've seen you fill, but 5 people WWX almost married, and 1 he did? I love your fills, btw! I think you take good, uncommon ideas and flesh them out really well

1

“Why do I have to be the bride?” Jiang Cheng demanded, his chubby little hands on his hips, sliding off the shiny red silk he’s currently wrapped in.

“Yeah!” Wei Wuxian chimed in. “Why does he get to be the bride?”

Jiang Yanli heaved a long sigh. “Because it’s my turn to pick what we’re playing. And what I want to play is to plan out my future wedding, and A-Cheng looks more like me than A-Xian does.”

“No fair,” Wei Wuxian grumbled.

“Don’t pout, A-Xian. Remember, you’re a very handsome and dashing cultivator.”

That got him smiling again.

“Now,” Jiang Yanli said. “You both bow –”

The dinner bell rang and both boys lit up at once. They were at the age when they thought of nothing but food – assuming there was ever an age when boys didn’t think of nothing but food.

“Oh, all right,” Jiang Yanli said indulgently. “You can go.”

Maybe she should just stick to daydreaming.

2

“So, what would I have to do to get access to the full set?” Wei Wuxian asked. He was lying on his back on the bed, with his head hanging off the side – it made him appear upside down, which to a heavily intoxicated Nie Huaisang was the funniest thing ever.

“Full set of what?” he said, rubbing his eyes. Luckily, Wei Wuxian was just as drunk as he was or else he might feel embarrassed about how he wasn’t following the thread of the conversation…though he was pretty sure they’d been talking about something completely different a moment earlier.

“Your books!” Wei Wuxian said, sitting up clearly a little too fast, judging by the way he swayed as if the world was spinning around him. “The illustrated ones.”

“The porn?”

“Erotic art, Nie-xiong. Have some dignity.”

Nie Huaisang didn’t think he’d ever had that.

“You said that what you showed us was just a selection,” Wei Wuxian said helpfully. “So what do I have to do to get access to the rest?”

“I’m saving it for marriage,” Nie Huaisang said, which wasn’t even true and he had no idea why he said it. Seemed like a good idea at the time. He giggled.

“Well, if that’s the only thing stopping us, then why don’t we –” Wei Wuxian started to say, but then Jiang Cheng pushed him entirely off the bed and they all forgot about everything other than shoving each other.

3

“He did save your life, though, didn’t he?” one of MianMian’s girlfriends said.

“Yes,” Mianmian said with a wary look. She didn’t especially trust this particular girlfriend. Or most of them, for that matter. “So what?”

“You should marry him!”

“What?!”

“You know, out of gratitude!”

“Don’t be ridiculous! Nobody does that outside of stories!”

And anyway he doesn’t actually like me, she wanted to say, but obviously didn’t; it wasn’t a sect where you could show weakness.  

“But he’s fourth on the list of young masters, Mianmian! Fourth! You can’t do better than that!”

Maybe I grade on a different scale from the rest of you.

She sniffed and tossed her head, and that was that – she hoped.

4

“Marry?” Wei Wuxian said, choking so hard on his piece of radish that Wen Qing thought he might die. “Marry?! Wen Qing?!”

A moment later he thought better of it and added, meekly, “No offense meant, Wen Qing.”

“None taken,” she said dryly. “That was also my reaction. The answer is no, Granny.”

“But why not?” Granny asked. “You’d be a good couple – you already get along.”

Wen Qing was aware enough to read the implicit ‘and nobody else is ever going to marry either of you’ underlying that comment, and from his pained expression so could Wei Wuxian.

“I don’t want to get married,” Wen Qing said. “And if I did, it’d be to someone who had more money than this idiot.”

Wei Wuxian, visibly relieved that she had no interest, held his hands to his heart. “Ouch. I knew it, you materialist, you only love me for my money.”

“You don’t have any,” Wen Qing said. “And anyway, it’s not the money I’m after – it’s the concubines I’d be insisting you’d take. You get one and I get one; seems fair, doesn’t it?”

“Damnit,” Wei Wuxian said. “Now I’m tempted.”

“Too late. Missed your chance.”

5

“You can’t take me to the Cloud Recesses!” Wei Wuxian wailed. “I’m a poor, innocent cultivator!”

Nobody seemed especially impressed.

“Also, I’m getting married!” he added.

That seemed to get Jiang Cheng’s attention. “Married? To who? Hanguang-jun?”

“Of course not,” Wei Wuxian said. “I’m marrying Lil’ Apple.”

“…the donkey.”

“Yup! He’s the most virile of the whole lot of you!”

“The donkey’s been gelded.”

“Still!”

Jiang Cheng pinched the bridge of his nose, and left with a huff. Unfortunately, Lan Wangji seemed not yet deterred – that was fine, though.

One down, Wei Wuxian thought happily, one to go.

1

Lan Wangji’s mourning clothing had grown on Wei Wuxian, eventually, such that he even thought he’d miss them if the man ever decided to change his style (impossible of an idea as that was), but he had to admit that something in his heart went a little crazy when he saw him in red and gold.

#mdzs #wei wuxian #assorted others #wangxian #my fic #my fics #crackfic #Anonymous