#i've missed them so much what the fuck

[hawkinslibrary]

domino’s commercial with some familiar faces :’)

#it's a stupid domino's commercial why are you getting emotional #i've missed them so much what the fuck #i'm... gonna tag this as spoilers literally just for them being in s4 wardrobe #video #s4-esque #i don't think these are actual outfits ? but #projects #do i tag as gaten and caleb or dustin and lucas lmao #gaten #caleb #cast #spoilers #s4 #st4 spoilers #it'd be wild if the other people were actually in the season at some point too #also that voice sounds like...

[dollypopup]

y'all can all cancel me (again) for this, but if there's even a SHRED of 'who should I pick?' from Penelope in season 3, I am tuning out SO fast because like. . .sorry not sorry, there IS no choice. Debling is some crusty OC suitor she barely even knows and Colin is a man who she has been so supposedly in love with to the point where she'd ruin her entire family's reputation to have a potential love story with him. Penelope and Colin have background, years of knowing each other, intimacy that few people in the Ton can boast of having (letters, conversations about purpose, fights and arguments and makeups) and her and Debling have. . .a dance or two at a ball because he's a rebound for Penelope's broken heart. he means nothing. he has no nuance, he has no weight to the story, he is such an afterthought to me. either I wanna see Penelope going 'you know what? I don't even LIKE this dude. he's. . .fine, but I don't care about him even a shred as much as I care about Colin' or the INSTANT Colin's like 'you know what? we should get married' if it's not an immediate 'say less, you're already my husband, try returning me without the receipt, Debling whomst?' then I don't want it!

like. . .it's just so frustrating to see all the 'I hope Debling sweeps her off her feet and she rejects Colin's proposal and she makes him work for it and and and-' nonsense from the fandom and it's always tagged and no matter how many times I block it, it just keeps popping up. I go into the Polin tag for POLIN. I don't give a SHIT about a male love interest other than Colin. Not one. Not a shred. Not an iota.

and also. . .Debling has the 'benefit' of not having depth, or character traits, or HISTORY, so peeps can project onto him however they want, but I'm calling it now, there is NOTHING he could do or be that would make me like him more than Colin. Colin will always hit different, and I will always love him more. and if Pen's not on that same page? lol bye

you want me to believe Penelope and Colin are soulmates and it's romance for her to hem and haw about how difficult a decision it is for her to marry a stranger who knows barely anything about her. . .

when Marina was out here dropping banger lines like 'You were the only man with which I could see myself being happy' and 'I do not care about any of these men, where is Colin?'? like hello??? and she wasn't even fully in love with him!!!! but we'll demonize her until the cows come home in our fandom and make her the villain in Polin's love story for DARING to get in between Polin, yet Debling, a white man, is a darling dear perfect prince for getting in between Polin? existing in our fandom solely so Penelope can be like 'lol, Colin ain't shit, let me entertain any and everyone else'?

if that's the direction it goes then, ten toes down and on my mama, she doesn't deserve Colin and she can move because I'm on my way to court him my damn self

and that's that on that

#you know what? lol it's been a bit since i've posted a controversial opinion #tagging it #polin #sorry not sorry i ship polin. . .so i wanna see. . .polin. . .and i'm getting damn sick and tired #of all the bullshit pen/oc pen/other dude theories and stories in the polin tag #and i don't want polin to lose screentime over a frankly bleh male oc #you can't change my mind #if i don't see at least marina's 'you've seen him with the little bridgertons!' level of squee and 'i only want to talk to colin' #levels of devotion then i don't fucking WANT IT!!!!! #yeah definitely try out the marriage market #realize that NO ONE has a good time on the marriage market #try to get over him w/ whomstever #but then be like 'i don't even LIKE this dude where's colin i miss him' about it!!!!! #because otherwise i am not here #i am asleep #and i am courting colin in your place pen #i'm coming for your man #anti debling #if debling has 100 haters i am one of them if he has 10 haters i'm one of them if he has 1 hater i am the hater if he has 0 haters i'm dead #it's incredibly obvious that 'pebling' is half rooted in a revenge storyline fueled by anger at Colin and his complexity #and half a projection of wanting Penelope to have 'choices' because she is a representation and manifestation of the fans themselves #and so people think an OC that can be 'perfect' for them- whoops I mean Pen (because he doesn't have any real depth or interest) #he's a cardboard cutout we can throw whatever you want onto #so we can make him 'perfect' instead of the much more meaningful storyline of pen and colin both being messy and loving each other more #and part of it is bitterness over Polin not being insta-love #which. . .if it was i wouldn't like them as much as i do #anyways y'all ain't slick #and it's fucking WEIRD to be in a fandom that's like 'i ship this couple but i hope she gets with ANYONE else' #maybe you. . .don't ship the couple?? #like. . .to the point of wanting her necklace to be from debling. . .and her wearing it everywhere??? WHAT??

[batfamfucker]

Appreciation post for 'girly girl' characters and/or shows that celebrate traditionally feminine things that girls and women are shamed for.

Characters on this list that love makeup, fashion, hair, etc. Characters that are still written as strong, intelligent, brave, etc. That told young girls that these interests are valid, they are not lesser interests. Being feminine and liking traditionally feminine things does not make them weak.

#I'm so glad I got to grow up with these girls #I was originally gonna make a post of Barbie Daphne and Stella and be like. They remind me so much of each other #And how much I love characters like them #Because I do #But then I was like fuck it let's just make a post for all the girly girls because they're so good #So here we are. In a world of misogyny. We still have them. And I am so greatful #I'm sad I missed out on celebrating my femininity and stuff like this in my teen years because of just. Stuff I was going through #But I'm glad I'm doing it now. I've been getting into makeup for the past year. Mostly eye it's so fun #The Barbie movie. Dressing up for it. Being proud makeup and skirts and dressing up like I did as a girl. God it was so wonderful #I've not felt this connected to this part of myself in years. It has helped to much #It reminded me of my love for Barbie. The movies. The fairies and mairmaids. The bright colours and fashions #And my love for all of these shows. The outfits and designs I fell in love with. The friendships and sisterhoods in all of them. #Yes it's just Rarity. I know some of the others girls also fit. But some don't as much so I didn't wanna just put a group one #And I know Kim and some others aren't as girly as others. But she's still a good example. #Her and Monique's shopping trip and other stuff is engraved into my mind. I actually think about them a lot I love them #Daphne was also a masisve awakening for me. I had such a crush on her. And the Hex Girls. #If you're wondering why other shows aren't on here. Like Trollz or Powerpuff Girls or something. It's msotly based on what I watched #And I didn't really watch them I'm sorry but feel free to add more. #We're ignoring how I mispelled mermaids. I'm not going back to change that tag. #Anyway I love women basically. We're awesome. #Barbie #Scooby Doo #Bratz #Monster High #Kim Possible #My Little Pony #Winx #Mew Mew Power

[radmista]

Sowing seeds of discontent and disharmony by hanging up on my parents birthday phone call the second my mom asked if I gained weight. Hope that sits badly on their minds while they think about how that's the first call I've engaged with them in 2 months and it was for the dogs birthday. Dad scrambling to text me for my mom that she didn't mean it. Like fuck I told her I've been having a rough month and day. She couldn't keep it to herself that badly. Fucks sake

#was already not in a great place mentally but i entertained the call and was actually feeling okay talking to them giving them an update #she just hits me with that. and I'm not normally sensitive about my weight even when my mom harped on me for gaining some a few years back #i genuinely normally don't care bc I'm happy with myself. but i know ive lost weight because I've been on icu and we don't have time to eat #im so fucking mad and im even more mad I'm crying about it #bc what the fuck #i was actually feeling like momentarily safe talking to them and being vulnerable about working on my next life stages #and she just ruined the call. i wanted to talk to my mom and dad more. i do miss talking to them about some things. #i was happy to get to see my family all together even if it was for the dogs birthday. and people were smiling and shit #and ik theyre gonna say i ruined it by being sensitive but jfc #it was literally the 2nd thing my mom said to me on the call after we sang happy birthday #why couldn't she just shut up. why couldn't she have said anything else. why did i let it bother me so much i hung up #I'm just fucking tired and sad and now feeling even lonlier than ever #i just wanted a nice moment with my family god fucking damn is that too hard to ask for #and im even more angry and sad now that i cant call them back bc my mom will get on me about smth else we were previously talking about #that phone call was supposed to be a neutral zone just for the birthday song. and i was going to ride it out but fucking hell #why didnt i just put up with it so i could have talked to my family #and no calling them back isnt an option. they haven't apologized and it would be an un neutral call #which gives them space to harass me about work and shit

[ghost-proofbaby]

Y'ALL IF YOU ARE GENUINELY CURIOUS ABOUT BG3 AND THE GAMEPLAY MECHANICS OF IT ALL, I WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND WATCHING NEIL NEWBON'S (astarion's voice actor) STREAMS OF HIM PLAYING IT!!!

they're all on youtube and then he does livestreams still. he plays with his friend tom deville, and they are up to act 2, i believe? so they stream their gameplay in real time. he says a ton of things in astarion's voice at random, is romancing astarion so you'll see the cut scenes, and also he's experiencing the game properly for the first time just as you would be!

there's also a ton of other people who post gameplays but if you can't afford the game but are super super invested or curious, watching those is a wonderful way to experience the game <3

#it's a fun community #tom and neil are fucking hilarious in their gameplay too #they are doing normal tavs so it works #astarion is ALWAYS in the group #the only rules for their gameplay has been astarion is always there literally #you might miss out on some other companion's stories but from what i've caught up to they're definitely learning more about other companion #tom just switches them out often #also. he brings on the other voice actors. and nerds out over the bts of the game #it's wonderful and he's far more well spoken than i am <3 #ghost plays bg3 #i've hit my daily limit of how much the dash will tolerate me to talk about my silly lil game today sorry loves

[dany36]

sigh.

time to finish berseria i think. :(

#junk #tales of berseria #tob #tales of #i have sooo many thoughts about the game now that i've replayed it #AND that i did most of the character sidequests #excluding velvet (i didn't know i had to raise her cooking level lol i never used that function!) #and eizen (yo lv 110 monster while i'm at lv 70?? i killed him once but then he revived and i was like nah i'll grind this later) #magilou's and rokurou's broke my heart as fucking usual #eleanor's was interesting seeing her get so angry and full of malevolence #it's a travesty that i missed them the first time but honestly i just wanted to know what was going to happen in the end #it's insane how much they explain in the sidequests #especially magilou's (it's always the goofy characters that have the most heartbreaking/fucked up ones huh?? see: zelos) #i'm in the final level now i'm not ready for the ending credits to roll and see the life velvet could have had #here come the tears i guess!!!!! #top 5 fave games for sure

[moregraceful]

Heavenly father, can I call you daddy?

#behaving normally abt arkells coming to san francisco!!!!! #i was gonna fly to VANCOUVER last year to see them at rogers arena and then my passport got fucked due to the name change #so i just gave away my ticket for free on twitter lol. they should play ''all roads'' for me specifically for being nice #big conversation in the leafs gc about what to wear. ''i have a hyman leafs jersey and dermott leafs shirsey. which do i wear?'' #''does he even like the leafs anymore? max was a traitor at the asg. dermott shirsey'' #''HYMAN JERSEY!!'' #''too bad i don't have a raptors his jersey'' ''I MEAN THEY FIRED HIS BOYFRIEND THERE TOO'' #''mlse hates max'' #''the fact that his boyfriends were fired in the offseason ;('' #are you normal or do you and your friends have an intricate au in which max from arkells is dating kyle dubas and nick nurse #''intricate au'' it's not an au it's just a fact #the running joke is that is bc nick nurse ended up with the 76ers and kyle is in pitt bro is just moving to pennslyvania #is it a joke....we don't know.... #the amount of kyle dubas/max arkells twt fic i've written should get me put in a home i think. there was more than one #dark days...i think my friends are glad i am off twitter frankly #i'm missing the cuda homeopener which sucks but i see the cuda 500 times a year. this is the first time the arkells have come to sf #in like. SEVERAL years. they never come to the usa west coast they only ever go to new york when they come to the us #biggest band in canada that no one has ever heard of in the usa lol. i'm not missing this shit #posting too much bc i. do not want to edit my fic #beryl gave me their beta edit notes and i melted into a puddle and rolled into the sewer drain and floated out to sea #me: ''this fic SUCKS i need HELP'' beryl: ''here are my beta notes so you can edit'' me: 😨😨😨😨 #fuck around (write a bad fic and send it to your trusted beta for help) find out (receive beta notes and now i have to edit) #(in two days)(help)(it needs so much editing) #they said i could go up tot 12-15k if i needed. small mercies. ''10k limit was so you don't write 30k again'' ok fair!!!! #fresno oilers.txt

[defira85]

I know it's gauche to say but god on days like today I have to wonder why the fuck my progenitors are still alive while MIL is gone

#these dumb motherfuckers ignored a fire evacuation #and of course they didn't tell me I had to find out from the only brother that will talk to me #they took photos of the sparks and the smoke getting closer #and ignored my other brother who they fucking worship who was begging them to get in the car and get the fuck out #so far they're okay but it's still an active fire front so who knows what tomorrow will bring!!! #and of course they didn't tell me or text me to reassure me they were safe #when dad had his ?heart attack years ago they never told me and then got so fucking shitty at me for not visiting or calling #even when I didn't know he was in the hospital because they won't talk to me #god I miss my mother in law so much and it just!!! doesn't feel like it gets easier!!! #and instead I've got these dumb motherfuckers raising my blood pressure

[girlcrushau]

#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/ #but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment #i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating #there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2 #months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it #not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him #in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to. #until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if #he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone #and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think #there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy #your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you) #and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly #so last night #i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text. #i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart #until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent #that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real #did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart #and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about #and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in #which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever #it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in. #just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the #reason that he went away on me. #im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying #not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me #that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest. #and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs #he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am

[throttlegainwell]

... Okay, now there are two missing Iconoclast scenes in my fic WIP binder and a small side fic from El's POV, following what she was doing in the background. So like. Naturally. Of course.

(Still not writing them just yet. But they are multiplying.)

#writing tag #please don't wake me series #iconoclast pdwm #one is an actual missing scene (or i guess an alternate POV for a part that gets one line in the fic) #the other is technically an additional scene that i imagine happened later #because after what joyce learned why wouldn't she touch base with will #i'm not actually gonna write any of it until a) i have time and b) i get the chance to rewatch the show #because it's been long enough now that i know i've got character drift happening #also because i'd just like to i'm not gonna watch a show just for fic homework that'd be a bit much #ngl there's also a WIP where post-s3 jonathan buys pot for the first time from eddie #because his anxiety is through the roof and everyone is so fucked up then that he doesn't want to worry them #and eddie is like well some people freak out a little and you look nervous so tell you what smoke with me your first time #he also just feels bad for him and wants to keep him company for a little while but yeah look at eddie being a responsible dealer

[quirkle2]

i am literally so hungry and yet i am like paralyzed in my seat. why can't i get up and go get food. why am i just sitting here while my stomach wallows in agony. i feel ill. jay be normal

#qktalks #be normal. #me when i can't take care of myself ??? girl just get up and go nothing is stopping u (it feels like the world is stopping me) #anyway sorry this started off as a weird vent post or whatever. u guys know what i miss? animal jam #i miss that game so much #i also played a lot of happy pets on facebook when i was little i've been genuinely considering making a new facebook just to play it again #but is it worth it. no. no is the answer to that #i remember when i played animal jam back when i was little and i finally got that one headdress accessory that was the craze back then #and my best friend at the time got so jealous abt it that they hacked into my account while i was asleep and traded it w their own account #and the next day i was like ''where did all my stuff go'' and they were like ''haha idk'' while wearing my fucking outfit #honestly that's rly hilarious. the fucking audacity #little me wasn't ballsy enough to go ''uhm i think the fuck not'' i was like just ''oh ......... okay :('' #but u bet ur ass if i was as confident back then as i am now ? i woulda maimed them #yes <3 over a video game. that's what kids do didn't u know <3 #god i do miss happy pets tho #that game was so fun and silly. i deleted my facebook tho all my houses upon houses of pets r gone #u could have glowing tigers!!!!! #JUST GOOGLED HAPPY PETS THE GAME GOT SHUT DOWN . OHTHIS IS HORRIBLE #will be mourning this game all night. will be crying in the shower over it #<- acting like she's not in a depressive spiral and will absolutely NOT be showering #im holding a roblox funeral for happy pets who wants to join [has never once played roblox] #anyway weird topic-less rant over goodnight <3 to all my new followers yes i am slightly strange

[fourteenthz]

this game gave me all the illness

Hundreds of thoughts abt the last two chapters of yakuza 0 over here you've been warned I'm going full essay post bc I just can't fit everything only in 30 tags:

I've just wanted to stress just how good I think this game is, genuinely. There are few things that irked me in the end but they are so irrelevant I can't mind all that much. The dialogue in this game is just wonderful, script goes out there a lot but the serious/emotional scenes just felt all so real to me. I feel like it's so hard doing real dialogue without it sounding predictable but they did it. Maybe it's because the story itself isn't all that predictable but just UGH WONDERFUL. so good. Anyway to story bits.

just to start where I left I have to say. proof of love? the damn chapter of all time. if you told me we would be here

when I first started play this game I would be very skeptical but I really loved the directiong they took with him. and specially with her. I just loved makoto at first sight and I hoped so bad she would continue to be a plot point from there on and to have her face all of dojima clan head on and survive is just. so damn cool. she is my most special girl.

and it makes her so realistic too to that final scene before credits. the way she stands up to those guys and everything about her development is just really perfect and insanely well done for like a side character, specially when we have so many of them in this game. she is wonderful. I adore her to bits.

plus as a side-story for majima slowly breaking away from that cold facade from the beginning is just REALLY nice. he starts this chapter makind expressions he has never once done before and ends like

CAN YOU HEAR ME? they are my everything. going from makoto saying "I'm sorry, I can't do anything for myself" right when majima had that talk with seda about not doing things by himself. I love this plot point of him and kiryu being so damn powerful but how shaping them for something greater they needed others. not in a way that they lack something but in such there-are-thing-not-even-you-can-scape kind of way. this brings me to THIS:

BECAUSE THEY MAKE ME SO UNWELL. I feel sick. every time I have favorites I expect the worst to happen to them (because it always happens lol) but having nishiki and makoto being pillars for kiryu's and majima's resolve until the very end is SUCH a treat.

one moment you think they are all dying and the other you get this:

and it changes you for life I guess.

I should also add how much I love lao gui as majima's last boss for this game vs kiryu and shibusawa. they really delivered perfectly the whole "this is what you can become if you follow through with it" and it just makes. sense. and makes me stupid ig. I like them a normal amount and also I like how nishiki and makoto (even not there) are the ones that remind them of who they want to become. it's different from where they are now but it's different from the person lying under them as well and I just feel SO NORMAL about that.

for the ending I gotta say, majima's left a bad taste in my mouth at first, maybe because I just hated sagawa so bad lmao but I think I'm coming around it a lot more the more I think of it. and welp ig sagawa is dead so I that's a good way as any to convince me.

after makoto was gone I kind expected him to never talk with her again, but just to add, it feels better than I overall was hoping. I thought she would either die or move away from japan and they would never see it other again. Don't get me wrong I have no expectations for her to show up again, but just by her being there, I feel like it gives him a lot of peace of mind tbh. dojima clan won't follow here anymore and he can make sure of that. sounds good to me. bUT DID YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME THIS?

SEDA COWARDS. I was partially hoping he would keep it but this is better. ye. I just ADORE this so much. It is such pain that she doesn't know his name but also I just feel so relieved when she was just. walking around. being normal. I love her I love her she deserves the entire world I'm so happy at this moment.

now you know what made me insane? going from this

to THIS

and then I went to download the next one and you know what fck you seda I HATE THIS SO MUCH.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN.

I mean I think I know but I REALLY thought I was free from tragic brothers. what about ranking up together..... what of their promise? what about "until death do us apart" was THAT A LIE? I'm gonna be honest with you all. I was excited to continue today but after seeing the opening for kiwami I REALLY don't want to. but. whatever.

from what I'm certain and I know it to be true besides mine own speculation:

I like...... this game. I like how kiryu kept his idea of choosing his path by whether he loved-or-hated it. I love how he steadily grows so much over the game and how you can't really notice until he has to make a choice and you see he's still thinks the same but acts just so more maturely. I like how he let his relationships influence him, how it isn't seem as a bad thing ever, how he is always being rewarded for it.

I like how this reflects on loyalty and brotherhod by everybody that is around him, specially nishiki. damn if I know wtf is happening on the next game but the "95 was a dark year, while kiryu serves time in jail, nishikiyama becomes a changed man" just proves that. I like how they try to be away from one another but when nishiki said they are invincible together, he was right. They don't have to be invincible all the time, but it must feel good to. and them choosing to accept the other changing in that ending scene at serena and nothing changing between them UP UNTIL they are separeted in 95' just feels right.

and, all that being said, I like how it all changed made majima into whatever is that guy by the end of yakuza 0. I somehow felt like he needed one more cutscene, specially bc the next games are really focused on kiryu, but even then, it all just fits well. his acceptance now isn't like the one in chapter 15, when he just comppels in being a pawn for sagawa or whatever. it genuinely speaks to the very first time we see him, how he knows nothing but yakuza, how it's his life, and now WELL IT ISN'T THE PERFECT ENDING but it's such a well-written one for someone such as him. he get's to keep doing what he knows, but being just so much cooler and confident about it. IT JUST FEELS. DAMN COOL.

Just overall. The story is so good, the gameplay is so good. I have a handful of poorly done mechanics/writting to point out but the good outweights the bad so hard that I just doesn't feel like it matter at all. The combat is so fun, the mini-games are intuitive and the side-stories are just gold. Having the switch between the two of them made the game just so fun, there is a bunch of stuff I didn't finish but I also didn't felt bored not even for a second. It's honestly such rewarding gaming experience and I love those a lot.

so yeah, I'll stop rambling now or whatever but just. yeah. yakuza 0 good. play it. pls. and talk to me about it. pls. ty.

#trying to act so normal on this damn essay i'm sorry you must know I was actually barking at my monitor once the end screen appeared #yakuza 0 #yakuza 0 spoilers #kelly plays ykz #there must be SO MANY typos here but idk I just needed to put my thoughts somewhere and kinda organized so I can go insane in the tags bc #GOD AJJAAJSUDGDSD BITTING MY FISTS BANGING MY HEAD ON THE WALL ETC ETC ETC #seda for everything that exists please I said I wanted more or my tragic brother but NOT LIKE THAT I HATE the opening for ykz 1 so much #WDYM NISHIKI NOT HUGGING KIRYU BUT FIGHTING......... WDYM. #I'm sorry if my blog turns into ykz filled the next days I've been really into giffing again and I feel ill about those characters #and now that I know the majima short hair is in all of the next games I can easily just gif ykz 0 with the idea I had so yeah. #brace yourselves or whatever. I like men a normal amount. #seeing kiryu's back on the title screen tho......... I bet nishiki colored his too..... man.... I'm normal abt thm. #I feel like playing every ykz at this point even after seeing many ppl say that you don't really have to specially 3/4 but idk. kinda #started this series really easily in a 'i'll play when I feel like it' kind of way which isn't how I approach most series #maybe I'm just used to final fantasy lol but the game is just so packed with stuff and it also have such good breaks in the main story #that it makes so much easier to take a break from it irl. genuinely such a well developed game. I'll not stop saying this lol it just. is. #can't believe i'm saying fucking “yakuza 0” when someone asks me what game I recommend them. who would've fucking thought honestly. #the day I bought the idea of trusting this game to have good written tragic brothers and started playing was a damn good choice. #i'm in too deep now. it really is one of those games that makes me emo about how video games are the superior form of story telling #anyway I miss my boys. I'll need some encouragment to keep going with the next entry but i'll so it at some point #until them please enjoy every gifset I send in you guys' way *praying emoji* #can't wait to really meet ichiban by myself!!!!!! lets go!!!! #kelly says

[homogranates]

i'm so serious when i say that school makes me wanna rip my flesh off

#feeling murderous rage #i hate devoting every minute of my day to doing these stupid math questions (and i actually used to like math!!!) #i wanna go out for like a walk or something rn but it's late and i still have so much to finish. like i've been working on hw for 4 hours #like i miss having time to myself #it's like everytime i think of school i break down... what a fucked up education system #i don't want to go back to school tomorrow... literally want to throw up #it's so stressful i hate it so much #all i do is get home. eat something. do hw for like 4 hours. sob for like 15 minutes. stare at the wall. and sleep. how miserable is that #and i just wanna punch someone rn. wish i could tell my teachers that assingning so much hw everyday only makes me wanna kick them #trapped in a simulation where all i can do is try my best to finish all my hw. and still not be able to complete it!!! #i just wanna be a teenage girl doing stuff that isn't school related.... is that too much to ask for #gonna sob soon bye ✌️ #personal

[lovelaceisntdead]

Oh. having a bad time.

#I've been holding it together all day but suddenly everything is really getting to me #so sick of feeling like this. i want to be able to have a nice time and enjoy myself but i can't walk around for more than half an hour #without feeling so exhausted #and i saw my brother today and i was really trying not to let it get to me seeing him doing so well #and I'm really happy he's doing well it's not that i just get so jealous that he's able to do all the things he can #i thought I'd been doing well the last couple of weeks bit maybe i was just repressing because now i cant fucking breathe #and i miss the cats so much i know it's been literally a day but I'm so used to having them there all the time #i am so tired. i want to sleep. but I'm so sad #I'm so anxious and i feel like I'm being short with everyone and it's making everything really tense #i don't know what to do. #I've been looking forward to this week for ages and i knew it would have an impact on me but i didn't think I'd feel this bad #I'm just really upset i don't what the point of this is but i just need to get this out because i feel like imgoing to explode #i think I've been feeling triggered since yesterday but not purging it so my body has just been feeling it and then its all spilked over #i know it started in the car because the roads we took to get here are the ones i used to take for my hospital appointments

[ozlices]

realized it's my friend who disappeared a year ago's birthday,,, and just got. absolutely whiplashed with grief. i hate not knowing if she's even Alive, much less doing okay. i sincerely, with all my heart and soul, hope she's alive & well. happy birthday, m. not a day goes by that you don't cross my mind. i miss you.

#mine #m tag #idk. what to rly. do w myself now. #i just wanna cry honestly. #ive lost so many people over this past year #but she's one of the hardest ones bc i dont even know if she's Gone gone. #i just know she's unreachable from my position. #& it hurts. it hurts so fucking much. my heart hurts so much & it's so empty. #she's one of the best people i've ever had the absolute delight of knowing. #she always checked on me & was so loving & understanding & always knew exactly what to say to cheer me up. #& she's so fucking funny GOD i miss her humor. #she disappeared before i had full system discovery so my alters never even got to introduce themselves to her... #fuck. im gonna tear up i hope you're okay. please be okay. please come back someday. nothing is the same w/out you. #every time a new v/nc chapter comes out i just. think abt you. & i cant even look at them anymore bc it just hurts. #i love you so much. i hope you know that. wherever you are.

[princekirijo]

OK this is the last post I make on the topic because I don't like being too personal on Tumblr (not anymore at least) and tbh I might delete this after a while but it is so upsetting to see people shit on people who are addicted to gacha games. It doesn't matter what it is an addiction is an addiction. I've heard of people going into debt over these things like do you understand how sad and terrible that is. And like maybe idk we shouldn't laugh at them for spending 1k+ on some anime waifu maybe we should idk treat them like a human being and help them.

#turning off reblogs on this because i dont want this spreading #i say personal because ive been affected #not the extent that i've put myself in debt or anything wild don't worry #and to me its less how much i spent and more how fucking fast i was to spend it #but thats as much detail as i'll give #because a) i dont want to discuss it with you guys i love y'all but i have to set my boundries #and b) because as i said i would literally get made fun of for it #and people justify it like 'oh the characters are well written!' yeah because they want you to care about them so you spend money #its literally what the whole system is based on #in gensh!n at least i cant speak for other gacha games #the fundemental system is still fucked up #and look i wouldn't judge anyone for playing these games because that would be hypocritical #so like if you play them whatever #but just do really really think about what you're doing #for your own sake #i know its hard too i wont lie i miss gens!n because i used to play with my gf #she was so understanding though when i came away from it love that woman so much #not sure i would have stopped if it wasn't for her #im probably making it sound worse than it was but then again its probably like oh it wasn't that bad but if you think about it kinda was #just not as severe i suppose #and like final thing but the fact that i literally dont feel i can talk to anyone about this #im much better than i was because ultimately just coming away from the game and the fandom helped #but like because of the stigma around it on and offline i wouldn't feel safe talking about it unless its a professional therapist #and that's so fucked up #sounds like im looking for sympathy im sorry im really not (maybe a little subconsciously) but i want people to know that yeah its fucked #and you're not cool or better because you bully people for it especially if you play them yourself #sorry this post is all over the place ill def be deleting this in a few hours LMAO i just need to get it off my chest #and in fairness to y'all ye're good listeners #ask to tag